The Viall Files - E392 Going Deeper – Ashley Greene from Twilight Plus Nick & Danielle from Love is Blind Season 2

Episode Date: March 9, 2022

Today we are joined by Twilight’s Ashley Greene and host of The Twilight Effect podcast out March 15th. On this episode of Going Deeper we talk about Ashley’s former co-star, Robert Pattinson who stars as Bruce Wayne in the new movie, The Batman. We talk if his performance stacks up and if Rob plays the moody goth Bruce Wayne we really needed all along. Next we talk about the phenomenon that is sweeping the nation, Euphoria. We discuss the controversy of sexualising teenagers and wonder how the show will develop in the next season with so many cliffhangers and loose ends.  From there, we talk sex scenes in movies and how it’s a mistake to watch “R” rated movies with your grandma and on a plane. We then talk about marriage and how destination weddings can be the move to keep things more intimate. Next, we invite Love is Blind Season Two cast members, Nick and Danielle, on for a mediation where they talk about their struggles when their cleanliness habits and routines conflict.  “Is it just a thing for women to leave out four or five water glasses without putting them away?” Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to [e-mail] to be a part of our Monday episodes.  Check out our new "Introvert" merch at http://www.viallfiles.com today! THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: Canva: Design like a pro with Canva Pro! Right now, you can get a FREE 45-day extended trial Just go to Canva.me/VIALL to get your FREE 45-day extended trial.  Babbel: Right now, when you purchase a 3-month Babbel subscription, you’ll get an additional 3 months for FREE. Go to http://www.Babbel.com and use promo code VIALL. Episode Socials:  @viallfiles @nickviall @ashleygreene  @ourhummingway  @DanielleRuhl @nthompson513 @LoveisBlindNetflix Listen to The Twilight Effect, releasing March 15th! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-twilight-effect/id1610877972 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Babbel, an amazing app that I have been using that's helping people learn a second, third, maybe even a fourth language. Babbel's 15-minute lessons make it a perfect way to learn a new language on the go. They have live teachers you can have access to, real-life situations, like if you're traveling, if you're just trying to maybe communicate with people in your community, like kind of daily tasks and things like that. Babbel has it all. Right now, when you purchase a three-month Babbel subscription, you'll get an additional three months for free. That's six months just for the price of three. Just go to babbel.com and use promo code V-I-A-L-L. That is B-A-B-B-E-L.com. Code V-I-A-L-L. Babbel, language for life. what's going on everybody welcome back to another exciting episode of the vile files going deeper edition and boy do we have a great episode for you. The wonderful and delightful Ashley Green.

You know her, you love her from the hit franchise. Cultural institution. Cultural institution. Twilight. Empire of love. Dynasty. Yes, dynasty. Twilight.

She is with us. Also, we have the wonderful couple of Nick and Danielle from Love is Blind 2 for our mediation call. Slightly different mediation call, but it was you know, I think they wanted to present a united front, but I feel like there's some nice takeaways

either way. We enjoyed talking to Nick and Danielle, so be sure to check the our mediation call uh at the end of uh this episode with ashley uh don't forget to send your questions at ask nick at cast me.com cast with a k uh remember that next week we have four episodes it's going to be a lot of bachelor with the finale we have two bachelor recaps we have one of the we've what we've been told is the angriest of Clayton's suitors coming directly from AFR to this seat. So you won't want to miss next week's Bachelor.

Well, it's a big Bachelor week next week. So our Going Deeper episode. And there will be a mediation with this person. So we're still going to give you the new format. So anyway, that's a lot to cover. Ladies, how are you doing? I just had the visual of if we got the runner up

and she had to mediate Clayton and his first choice. That would be the dream. Should we see? Can we do it? I think Clayton's single. You think he's single? What if she mediates Clayton in itself?

That'd be great. God, what a trifecta. We work hard on the show to bring you topical, relevant guests and we will continue to do so. And if you like this show, I don't know, you can give us

a five-star review on Spotify or iTunes. Just give us five stars, you know, because we know we're probably pissing people off with, you know,

like me saying, you know, maybe Sinead isn't the devil or maybe this, I don't know, but I'm sure someone gave us a one star for disagreeing with them. Absolutely. Anything new with you ladies in this room? I feel like some, I don't know. But I'm sure someone gave us a one star for disagreeing with us.

Absolutely. Anything new with you ladies in this room? I feel like some, I don't know like what, what do you call it? Like astronomy, you know? Astrology? When things happen, yeah. I just got a DM from someone that I matched with on a dating app at least six months ago, if not more so. Just now?

Yes, five hours ago. And we matched on, I think it was Hinge. And he was like, oh, I'm rarely on here. Like, let's follow each other on Insta and we can DM on there. I haven't clicked on the DM, so I don't remember if we ever like corresponded on there. But I've been following him on Instagram ever since. We never went on a date. And I'm kind of just like...

You did follow him. Yeah, he followed me too. It was like a mutual thing. But like, I'd never like he was going on trips and hanging out with people I'm like I don't know you yet I've been following you

and now he's slid back into my DMs which I just think is interesting timing and I have no motivation to he's clearly going through something

he's going through a period a season of new beginnings he's trying to clean out start fresh maybe he got out of a situation of some kind and he's trying to clean out, start fresh. Maybe he got out of a situationship of some kind and he's circling back. This happened to me with a different dude, though.

Do you remember that? In the fall, he popped back up after, not ghosting me because we didn't really have a thing, but didn't hear from him for months. And then he was like, I was like, what is the point? Just find someone new. I think this is a very common dating app behavior

between men and women. I think it's partly because of the abundance of choice and we kind of lose people in the shuffle. And I think during certain periods where people are kind of like reflecting or maybe like they were feeling themselves and getting a lot of matches and things feel a little slow right now, people, we have a tendency of going back and checking like old messages and being like, wait.

Wait, she was awesome like why didn't he saw my post with matching outfits with my dog and he said her i actually mother of my children i had that once uh uh or it was kind of a similar thing where i and i i remember someone came up on instagram and i was like i think i've matched with her a while back and i went back and look and sure as I did, and we went out, she's great, but we didn't work out. But like she actually became a friend and a really cool person. And so it can happen, you know? But yeah, I think, I think it comes from people like in just different emotional states of mind when having elections. It's almost like, clearly I was interested in you at some point, but based on the fact that it never went into anything and now you're sliding back in this many months later it's like makes me just not want to give you any sort of chance

that i mean i didn't know you i think it's a bit short-sighted i don't think you need to go out with them yeah but i think what you're seeing from him is a very relatable state of mind that people do and you have to remember that you didn't know him then then you don't know him now and vice don't know a single thing about him. Exactly. Anyway, we have a great episode. Let's get right to it, because the wonderful Ashley Green, Nick, and Danielle

are all waiting for you guys to enjoy. Don't forget to send in those questions. Ashley, welcome. Thank you. Thanks for having me. So excited to have you with us today. Thank you. I'm so happy to be here. So much to talk about. Well, let's get right into people

know you from, obviously, the Twilight franchise. Yes. All of its might. All of its might. And I recently saw the Batman movie this weekend. Yes. Have you seen it yet? I'm so jealous. No, I haven't seen it yet. For those of you who care i thought it was really good uh i thought i thought the dark knight was better it was but i could i think if people made it better for you heath ledger yeah you can't really argue that and yeah it was probably just heath ledger i think the villains were a little bit better although it was

i think i was probably just heath it was it was and i think at the time it was so new in terms of how we saw those batman movies portrayed and the realness and the kind of authenticity yeah the grit and i thought this one was definitely more of a detective movie as people say like i don't like people are comparing it to seven because that's if you start comparing it to the movie seven you i feel like you lose me a little bit because it still was a pg-13 comic book movie yeah and it had a little bit of cheese in it not too much cheese but like seven has can't compare it to seven um how was rob i thought he was really good. Okay. I predicted this. He was awesome.

He was, like, when he got casted, I was probably on the side of like, but I honestly, I remember when Heath Ledger got casted for Joker, and I was like, this pretty boy? Yeah. I just think Rob has this ability. Like, he always takes something, and you can see it's distinctly his own,

and there's always a really, like, he has a very artistic spin on things. And I think, I don't know, like he's just, I think he's such a phenomenal actor. And I think it took a long time for people to separate him from Twilight. And I feel like he's finally in that space now. It's all hard to do. Yeah. I gotta imagine.

But yeah, he was, he was really good. He, he put this like, I liked the very kind of emo kind of edginess to to his bruce wayne interpretation where and i thought christian bale was phenomenal i love christian bale and you know he's like this it's a whole nother conversation it's like yeah and it i think rob uh rob was so good that you just don't want to compare the two. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, he made it his own. They both stand on their own.

But Christian Bale was, if you are going to compare, Christian Bale, he definitely plays the suave, pretty boy so well because he can clean up real good. Don't we know it. And Rob is the realist Batman, he kind of had this very kind of dark emo. I liked that he looked more traumatized. Yeah, which kind of makes sense. Yeah, right.

If you look at the story, yeah. It seems more like a real, like, okay, this was more believable for a guy whose parents died and decided to give up his whole life to, like, fight crime, which is kind of crazy. It's traumatizing. You know? And I like that kind of real spin. So I thought it was really good. I mean, the only thing is, I think, and I saw an interview where he talked about this. He's not a large guy he's

six one but he is thin yeah and I thought the way they shot it sometimes you'd almost want them because they can cheat that stuff and I wish they would have cheated to make him look a little bit more yeah that like intimidating superhero Batman but that's I'm nitpicking um it was really good he was phenomenal I'm gonna ask you for reviews on movies all the time now because I feel like you actually give a full perspective reason. Thank you. Yeah. I like movies and I like critiquing them.

Then I went home and I had this super weird dream about Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner. Please tell me what happened. I was in a minivan. Oh, God. This is starting well. Rob was driving, and I was sitting shotgun, and we were just shooting the breeze,

and Robert Patterson was telling me about this recent trip he took to New York, and he was shopping at all these thrift stores, and he was basically, I think, looking for rosaries, and he was taking the ends of the for like rosaries and he was like taking the ends of the rover rosaries and refurbishing them into making him like his own jewelry seems not so far-fetched right i almost seem kind of believable but in a weird like sometimes when you have dreams like you you it's like you know it's them but they're like playing

almost two or three different like yeah yeah characters from your point of view almost. And he was both Batman, but also he was on The Bachelor. And I was talking to him about his time on The Bachelor, and then we were driving in this shitty minivan, and out of nowhere, Taylor Lautner came out of a floral shop. And I've met Taylor before. He's a very nice guy. He's a big Bachelor fan. So I wouldn't call him

like a friend but we have interacted we're friendly we follow each other on the ground we like each other's pictures yeah um nice guy and so I only bring that up because in the dream he we did a double take and we recognized each other and Taylor Lautner like stopped me, not Rob. You were Bella. You truly were. And I like introduced them and they were like kind of like awkward with each other, I guess like in Twilight. Yeah.

And then Taylor was like, I'm like, all right, well, bye. And then Taylor stops like, oh, I got to get a selfie. And then we all took a picture and that was the dream. And then I woke up. I don't the dream and then i woke up i don't know i hope you woke up glowing i don't know why we dream about some of the weirdest things or weirdest people who don't like yeah i saw the batman but it was a very specific dream about people who i honestly really don't know but very involved with yeah it just like i mean that makes sense because you just saw batman i literally just had a dream about Ryan Seacrest and was like, what?

But I just watched. I walked in and my husband, he was watching American Idol. So it all makes sense. But me and Ryan were like, he was just very excited to see me. And we're like homies. And I was like, this would never happen in real life. But that was like. You were best friends.

Yeah. He was just like, Ashley. He was so excited to see me. I was like, this is great. But not real. Would not happen. Apparently Canva Pro helps make this show go round. It does.

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We are integrating with each other. And let's learn a little bit more. We're all traveling more and stop with that like terrible and embarrassing thing that Americans do when they travel and they speak in slower English. You know what I'm talking about if you're listening. Start learning a second language and honestly with Babbel, you can learn just a little bit to like help you, you know, if you like traveling to France or Germany, at least maybe order in the language that they speak in that country their 15-minute lessons make it a perfect way to learn a language on the go spanish french italian

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Because my grandfather goes to bed very early. We can't have a lesson every single day, but I feel like with language, it's all about that repetition. It's about kind of just practicing, even if it's for a tiny 15 minute challenge. And so Babbel is perfect. Join over the 10 million people who have already subscribed to Babbel. Right now, you can purchase a three month Babbel subscription. You'll get an additional three months for free. That's six months just for the price of three. So go to Babbel.com and use promo code V-I-A-L-L. That is B-A-B-B-E-L.com. Code V-I-A-L-L. Babbel. Language for life. Are you watching Euphoria? Yeah, I haven't seen the last episode, so don't ruin it. But I'm so, everyone who's seen it, I'm like, how are they

going to wrap up all of these loose ends like i feel like there's so much going on well they don't they don't they don't they don't oh no i don't feel like a loose land clearly you can make a season three very very easily oh yeah yeah nothing was really wrapped up i. Went down. And you're really curious if some people will be back or not or but there definitely was no closure. Like if... I'm like, I'm used to

the traditional shows where they give you closure. But that makes sense. I mean, the show is insane. I love it so much. I think it's genius. I was gonna ask, is there, because sometimes people will be like euphoria crossed a line on Twitter. Has there been any moments for you that you're like, okay, a little too far? I hope that next season doesn't get just like wildly more insane. Because then I think at that point I'd be like, I was just having this conversation with someone on how like

there are certain shows like with Succession, same thing. I'm like, how much more drama and how much more can they add into it without crossing that line? Because this is a drama and it's not a soap. So hopefully they don't go too far, but I don't know. There's something about that show that just keeps you watching. And I think there's a method to their madness. And just the shots that they do and the DP, it's just, I don't know, it's beautiful. It's beautifully shot. I didn't realize they used that film. What's it called? It's been discontinued. So like shooting...

That they had made specifically. Yeah, so like shooting Euphoria is wildly expensive. Apparently like the budget for Euphoria was as large as the series finale of Game of Thrones. Like, it's just all the time. Apparently. Because they are basically getting, what's the name of that film?

It's like... It's some sort of Kodak, right? Yes, it's a Kodak film. It's a well-known, but they discontinued it, and they basically got Kodak to make it again just so they could shoot Euphoria, which is kind of... Now it's going to be called the Kodak Euphoria film. But it's beautifully made.

Do we have it? 35 millimeter? I don't know. It has a specific name, though. Ektachrome? Yeah. Look at you. The hypersexuality of high school students, though, is a little, I think...

I had to numb myself to what is euphoria but when i now my girlfriend nally was like hey i want to watch season two of euphoria and i'm like i haven't seen it yet so we watched season one together and the first two episodes i was like i don't know if i could take this like this was it was heavy but apparently it is not so far off what i mean i imagine like we're imagine there are certain towns in the Midwest that this is as far away from. I'm from the Midwest. Yeah, okay.

So I was like, oh my God. But when you look at New York and LA and Miami, I'm sure it's crazy to think about, but this is some things that actually happen in high school now. Yeah, I guess. But I did get used to it because I really liked the show. I mean, it took me three or four episodes to, and now they'd be like, let's watch it. I'm like, okay.

But by like episode four or five, I was definitely, what happens next? I am desensitized to it now. I don't know if I was desensitized to it. I don't know. It's wild. Definitely would not watch that one with my parents. I watched the first episode of Black Mirror with my mother-in-law

and it was the worst decision I ever made. I don't know if you remember that first episode. Remind me. It's where basically the, like, a mayor or president or something, or prime minister, I think was English, and he basically, this person said, we kidnap this person. Unless you have sex with a pig on live TV, we're going to kill her.

And he goes through with it. And it's like this whole thing. And then you see the aftermath of what it's done with his relationship. And it's just super dark and super... You watched it with your mom? Yeah, I didn't know what I was getting into. My mother-in-law, not my mom.

That would have been better. Even worse. Have you watched... Do you remember the first sex scene you watched in your parents' company? My grandmother took me to see Hangover 2, which has full frontal nudity. That's amazing.

How did she handle it? She loved it. Phyllis is a chiller. Your grandma's name is Phyllis, too? We have gone over this multiple times. You both have grandmas named Phyllis. What are your grandma's names? My one, well, they're both passed now, but Grandma Bobby was one,

and then the other one I just called Meemaw, but her name is Lucky. Lucky? Oh, my God. Fantastic grandma name. I know. That's really great. I just, I grew up very, obviously, conservative. So, like, watching, we didn't even talk about sex growing up.

And I, you know, something, there was, like, heavy makeouts when I was a kid. My parents were like, cover your eyes and fast forward it. So. Oh, yeah. Like, even, like, as an adult uh watching like nudity if we want there's a movie and there's any time of nudity i i'm still i'm still uncomfortable watching it with yeah same we didn't like i wasn't allowed to watch dawson's creek growing up they didn't let me watch the simpsons we also had like until i was a teenager we could only watch an hour

of tv a day and it was like Little House on the Prairie or Alex Mack. Sounds like my show. Yeah. It sounds, yeah. When I grew up, kids would tease me by saying I wasn't even allowed to watch Bambi. You're like, yes, I am. I'd always have a couple of friends and we'd sneak over to their house and watch the Van Damme movies and the Steven Seagals. Like that was back in the day. I watched, the Steven Seagals like that was oh yeah back in the day I watched the first one I remember that had an impact on me as I went to my cousin's house and watched Interview with the Vampire yeah which I just love but I was also just in shock it's a great movie yeah have you ever like uh on planes do you avoid I avoid watching rated R movies

because there is nothing more uncomfortable than watching a movie and there's like this sex scene on it and you feel like... You're exposed. Yeah. You feel like such a creep. If you're into it, if you're paying attention, you're like,

I look like such a weirdo. I'm just always like covering the screen and then if you try to cover it, you're like, why am I... Yeah. It looks like... Much sketchier.

I'm like, oh, turn it off. I've had that. Turn the brightness all the way down. So now I just watch movies that I know... PG-13. PG-13 Now I just watch movies that I know PG-13s. I like watching movies I've seen before

on movie theater on planes. I'm not looking for something new. I'm looking for something nostalgic on airplanes. I don't know. I actually this is maybe horrible to admit but I watched Spencer on the plane because I just, I had never

seen it. I was like, I need to watch this movie. What's Spencer? It's Kristen Stewart as Princess Diana. Oh. Diana Spencer.

She just got nominated. But I was like, I need to have watched this and she's, I mean, she's phenomenal. She's great? Yeah.

She does a really great job. I should watch it. I heard she was fantastic, but the plot line itself was pretty slow. Yes. That's what my guy friend said. I can confirm that.

Well, on the topic of actresses, there's the Madonna biopic coming out. And right now, it's down to five, allegedly, actresses competing for the role. There's Florence Pugh, Julia Garner, Alexa Demi from Euphoria, Odessa Young, and Emma Laird. And Ashley Green. Florence Pugh has that Madonna. And Ashley Green. Orange Pew has that Madonna. And Ashley Green. Are you going for it? Oh, yeah. I'd be so good.

Oh, my girlfriend Natalie asked me this question. Who do you think, is Kim Kardashian at the level of being recognized? Who's more recognizable? Isaryland like is she at maryland monroe level where like if you are if you are like if you have first world problems and you have a tv in the internet like do you you know who maryland monroe is right like you've heard you've heard the name like you may not like might not be able to place her but you've heard the name is kim kardashian on that level sad to think about people not being able to place marilyn monroe i would say even more so yeah because of how many photos and videos we have of her kim kardashian's yeah everywhere yeah because i think any photo you've seen of marilyn monroe is like one of the few that everyone has seen but i just feel like we have

so much more access to kim but i feel like when she was when marilyn monroe was a sex symbol there weren't as many so it was like a singular focus versus. That's what I'm saying. Like you, when you, when you were like born and by the age of four, at some point you've been exposed to like some picture. I don't know. I just feel like a lot of people. I do hear the thing though, that someone was with Marilyn Monroe and she was walking around and no one recognized her. And then she turned to her friend and was like do you want me to become her her being this persona and just turned on a whole

different light of her and suddenly everyone noticed she was there she just said that's wild yeah but makes sense but I mean makes sense because the only thing because everything was so curated at that point that you only ever saw her as this like goddess sex symbol and so if she wasn't exuding that, people didn't recognize it. She just had her eyes down. What a life. You didn't see, it wasn't obviously social media,

so she had to be wearing the dresses or whatever. We've seen Kim Kardashian in the sweatpants and the leggings and things like that. So we've seen her in all the looks where there's only a limited amount of pictures of certain celebrities. I always love the Charlie Chapman took third place in the Charlie Chapman lookalike contest.

Is that true? Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Anyways, the Madonna biopic. Well, yeah,

I was wondering who either, who would you want to star in the biopic of their life or who would you want to play you in a biopic? This one's taken, but I love Audrey Hepburn. So that would have been a dream. But I also think Rina is going to crush it.

You look, you could have definitely done that. Yeah, put on some prosthetics and love of her. To play me, I'm like,

I don't know. I feel like they're not around yet. That's such a hard one because I think it's you, like, you just never look at yourself as being a character. So I'm like,

I have absolutely no idea. Would your biopic be more of a drama, a comedy? Would it be a love story? Like what kind of vibe would it have? It would be a psychological thriller. No. Probably it would be a dramedy. Like I feel like my life is there's like a lot of things going

on, but we have a lot of fun. My husband always says, he's like, why don't you just let the world see you because you're fucking funny. But yeah, so I think it would be a dramedy. Has your husband always told you you're funny or is it something that he's I think the more like recently about you. I was very, I mean, since we've been married, but, which is like almost four years now, but it took me, like, I was very slow to open up to a lot of people. And I think part of that comes with the territory of Twilight. Like, when you're 20 and you're thrust into this world, like, I was very specific about who I let into my life. And so he now sees all of me and swears that he's rubbed off on me and that I've gotten funnier. Oh, so it's, it's full credit for me now being a fun person.

How did you meet your husband? Um, we met, so I moved to LA and I became a, the like girl and a group of five guys. And they were my best friends for like five years. And then he ended up moving in with one of those guys and became a part of the homie crew. And then he and I were just friends for five years. You were friends for five years? Yeah.

Who made the first move? I did. Yeah, I was very... Was it right to dating? Or was there like a bit of a situation shape where you guys kind of had to play the, I think I have feelings for my friend. I was pretty direct. I, so part of it, so the guy group that I'm in, like he watched people

take their shot and like my whole thing was don't fuck in the friend circle. Like this is why they're still like my brothers today. And, um, and so I was very uninterested in dating anyone within my friend group and he was included in that. And then one day he ended up coming over and we brought me an orchid. We talked for like two hours and it was the first time we were really alone because I always hung out with these guys together. And I was just like, oh shit, I didn't, there's something there. And then after that I was like, I'm going to pursue this. And so I like showed up at his, he used to bartend. Um, and I would just show up at his work like two or three times a week. And then like two weeks in, he was like, okay, fine.

But it was like a really, we didn't tell anyone for months. And it was a really like hush-hush thing because our friends were not happy about it. Because you got to understand, like they're very much like what happens when you guys break up? They cared about the group dynamic. The dynamic. Yeah. They were like, guys, what are you doing? So rightfully so, they were a little, you know, they were hesitant and a little upset.

And it took about a month probably for people to get used to it. How long did you guys date for before? We dated for, I think, four years. And then we were engaged for a year and a half. So, I mean, it's sticking. Sounds like it's going quite well. And now, thanks to him, you're funny. Now thanks to him, I'm a funny human and I enjoy life.

What do you think about destination weddings? If they're in Italy, I'm all for it. Did you guys have one in Italy? We did ours in Redwoods and San Jose. Okay. Yeah, so it wasn't too far. Natalie asked me what I thought about destination weddings last night. It depends if you like, okay, one, if you have a ton of people,

you don't necessarily want to have the pressure to invite you to a destination wedding because it significantly cuts down your guest list. Cuts them off. Didn't your cousin have one in Mexico? I've been to plenty. I just don't think. You want to do it in Wisconsin? No.

Oh. Oh, that's like. I don't. Maybe. Actually, my friend's getting married. She won't do it in Wisconsin no oh oh that's like I don't maybe my friend's getting married she won't do it in Wisconsin I think it's in Chicago but she's from Wisconsin

she is yeah I I kind of want to like some sort of outdoor I want it to be as simple as possible

I'm like an outside person you know it's funny my husband was I was like I want like I could do 50 people like I was very You know, it's funny. My husband was, I was like, I want, like, I could do 50 people. Like I was very, I like think it's intimate. Like even like my, my, I canceled my own birthday party because it was like too much pressure. And I was like, I just want to have a dinner. Yeah. I really, I really want, if I do not want to have a wedding

for other people. Yeah. Which is so smart because it's yours. I'm not interested in that. I don't need a big production i i've been lucky enough that i've made it i've been a part of big productions that i don't need to for sure i don't need to do that and i want to enjoy it i don't want to and i feel like destination weddings are simpler in some aspects but they're also a bit of a production with so many people traveling and also like my experience with destination weddings is usually somewhere hot and tropical. And as we saw with Nick and Danielle,

who we'll have the pleasure of talking to, like, I have sweat so bad at so many destination weddings. Everyone's just so uncomfortable and sticky and buggy and usually happens like during the hot summer balmy balmy and i just like i don't know not i feel like if that's like your gut instinct then you go with it right and and honestly that was one of the smartest choices we made we had 112 people um and i was the jerk who was like you don't get a plus one unless like i know the part like I wanted

everyone there for us to have an intimate relationship with so that it didn't feel like work it was like you were just celebrating with your closest friends and family so no one if you weren't dating you didn't get a random if you were dating someone and I did and it was new they couldn't come I love that my sister's wedding planner was like unless they're engaged living together or like married they don't get to come. Yeah. Because honestly, those things are fleeting. And like, I just, you know, I was like, I want this to be a beautiful moment.

I don't want to feel like I have to like entertain anything. And it was, I mean, it ended up being wonderful. It was like the best choice we made, even though it was a little stressful at the time. I love that. And I think I have such a strong opinion because I have 10 siblings. Oh my God. So Nick's going to have such a strong opinion because I have 10 siblings. Oh, my gosh. So Nick's going to have 112 just by inviting a media family. No, and it's one of those things where everyone, you know,

you have so many people and there's so many personalities. And we call them the older kids. I'm the second oldest. There's three older ones, and there's, like, this different dynamic between some of the older ones and the younger ones. And yet, when we started dating in our early late teens or in our teens or in 20s you know we'd want them like have them for the family events and in pictures of stuff right and we've had so many like random people from our past and these fucking family pictures

and like recently like now like some of the younger ones are like older now when they're dating and we do these family photos and everyone's insisting on having like their partner in it and it's just like we're just we're always fucking like random people like in these family photos and we did it and i get it but it's yeah it's you guys do now like i would just like sure we can take one with them and then one without. Yeah, we do that. And then some of the girlfriends are like, they're all close and they're like, we should get one of us. Oh, yeah.

That awkward thing. Wow, so you're going to have a big wedding. Yeah, it's a thing. Even my family, I have to invite a lot of people. Was it like all, are your parents still together? Was it like one side? It's not a blended family. No, it's just a big Catholic family from Wisco.

So many babies. Yeah. And you seem pretty normal. Yeah, normal-ish. Yeah. Like I'm a weird guy, but like normal. Weird in the best ways. And I i do like my family is normal yeah like and i say that because i think there's always like uh duckers it didn't work out very well like some of them are sorry i just unintentionally

judged you and your family no yeah i get it uh i hate the movie cheaper by the dozen because that was like it's not how it is. It's not that insane. No, we're just normal and large and loud. I think we're just loud. Boisterous. Yeah. So you watched the Love is Blind reunion? I did.

What did you think? I mean, bless the people who are able to go through this. Again, I'm so slow to open up that I was just like, this would never, ever be for me. And I'm so curious. to open up that I was just like, this would never ever be for me. And I'm so curious. Like, I would love to understand where these people are in their life and how they're kind of just so open to this process, which clearly it does work sometimes. But to me, it's just such a curious thing where I'm just like, of course, you're going to run into some issues because you just don't know the person. And I think that's something, the only thing I would say some issues because you just don't know the person.

And I think that's something, the only thing I would say is that like you just, it takes time. So, you know, I think if each of the people are like fully committed to really growing with one another, great. But I just feel like it's such a hard thing to do at that age. They're like married now. I mean, getting engaged on The Bachelor is one thing. That's what I said. That's why I had this whole conversation where I was like, bachelor, totally understand it, can get behind it. Like at this point, everyone's like,

we're going to have this intense, you know, relationship. And I assume you get to know each other really quickly and in a way that other people probably can't understand. But then you get engaged and like a lot of the people coming out of the show are,

they have... You decompress. They have years and years of an engagement. Yeah. It's, It is wild. I don't know. On the reunion, I had problems with how the show did the reunion.

It was a strange reunion. Well, it's a great show and a great concept, but it's not the Bachelor production where they do it. It was more kind of casual. I kind of like it too with it being on Netflix. Vanessa Lachey is dropping F-bombs. I was like, yo, she's about to jump over that. Also, Vanessa Lachey was running the whole show.

I don't feel like Nick spoke twice. It was just Vanessa's show. They had their highs and low moments. Here's what I didn't like about how they framed it. Shake sucks, we agree. I was surprised. I was like, whoa, dude. I know that he's got some things to work out,

but I felt bad for him. I actually didn't. I was like, dude, I would just not want to be him. We had Deep D on last week, and so we promoted some of the interview. I was like, dude, I would just not want to be him. We had Deep D on last week. And so we promoted some of the interview on my social. And part of it was Deep D being critical of Shake. Because whatever you think about whether Shake was being honest or not or how he felt or the structure of the show,

it was all at Deep D's expense. It it was like i don't care who you are but like you could have been more aware about the fact that you have the right not to be attracted to someone but like you constantly saying that to anyone i don't care who you look like like that's kind of a dick move and she was based and we asked her like has this has this guy ever like ever apologized at anything any kind of sympathy and she's like no he would call me like, bitch to me about how he was portrayed, which is, like, really kind of never just like, hey, I'm sorry I said all this stuff. Like, even if it wasn't you, even if it wasn't how you intended it. So I really hated that.

But the show, the reunion made this, they were just like, you're on the wrong show. It was, they made it set it up they set it up that if you weren't attracted to someone physically then it became a bad thing and to me that wasn't shakes major crime right it was the fact that he went about it in such a way that it was very disrespectful it was disrespectful to deep d and and it's like all right bro even if it's your first time on reality tv you didn't realize what you got caught up in this experiment you didn't come out and say hey i just want to open up by saying you didn't deserve that deep d i i recognize now that if i were in your shoes it would be hard for me to hear and that that to me that's all i had to say yeah but no

this guy goes on my fucking social in my comments and was just like, what did he say? Oh, he told you to suck it, didn't he? Well, that was after I responded. Seems mature. It was terrible. He was a... Discourse.

I had no, I lost all sympathy for him. I should say that I felt uncomfortable for him. Maybe not bad for him, but he's very uncomfortable. He comments and he's like talking to D.D., right? He goes, but I saw my character come out. You mean went back to dating my usual

type? Like, okay. Like, what were you expecting? You said no to me at the altar. You got upset, and I posted a picture with the other girl. It was just very, like, still, like, It seems like the guy I dated when I was like 17. Exactly, right? So then I reply, because he's

on my page. No, she means your complete lack of self-awareness that you so perfectly demonstrated with this comment. Learn how to take an L. And then he told me to suck a dick. And I was just like, you know what? I try to even, you know, I always try to empathize with people, like not to excuse the behavior, but like, hey, listen, let's just,

and I try to empathize with Shake. You know, maybe he'd just get caught up in the experiment. But now, like this guy is an unapologetic douchebag. Yeah, he has some issues. But the way that the reunion went about it, they were trying to like shame Shake so much that when it got to shana and they were like and we interviewed shana too they're like well kyle was like was it my looks you could tell that shana was like this is not the place to like say that i wasn't attracted to you yeah you know what i'm

saying i'll get crucified i will get crucified for it and yeah i agree they kind of took away from like it being okay to not be attracted to someone also am i the only one who when shake a comp said i was the only attracted to vanessa but she fucking loved that she was like she got all flirty and smiled and nick was all pissed and vanessa lachey loved it for like at least two minutes she was giggling i'm into this she's like oh really i'm still got it still got it i'm still the hottest She's like, oh, really? Still got it. Still got it. I'm still the hottest one here.

Like, I don't know. Maybe that was just me. But yeah, I just kind of like, I hated how they did that because it almost, it kind of distracted the argument. I don't know if you felt that way as well. No, I agree with you. And it did, to your point, like it did make it seem like it's not okay to have, to want to have attraction to the person that you're going to be with.

not okay to have to want to have attraction to the person that you're going to be with it was just how rude he was and disrespectful and the fact that he he didn't consider or try to empathize with her point of view at all yeah and and it wasn't like a human being yeah and not about it wasn't about him not being attracted enough and then like it definitely looked like he was trying to like just be a character which was again annoying at her it's like you don't have to play the villain bro you're already there i was reading about your uh we we sometimes we ask our guests and we ask what's one area where men could be more empathetic towards women and i was reading your answer i think men could be more empathetic when it comes to uh her menstrual cycle as a whole. There are four phases throughout the entire month and the hormone fluctuations we face constantly that are, yeah.

So do we unanimously feel that way? Are men we date ignorant and are not as empathetic towards women? And their hormone fluctuations? And their hormone fluctuations? I mean, I clearly think so. I mean, I have a whole company on reproductive health, so I'm very, yeah. So we want to talk about that. What's that? Yeah. So it's called Hummingway. Uh, I launched it with my sister-in-law actually. Uh, we did a soft launch

in October, but I've been working in it for like close to three years now. Um, but yeah, it's just, it's become resoundingly clear that there is a massive lack of education surrounding our bodies and what's happening in them. And being able to kind of be our own health advocates is something that we're starting to see pushed to the forefront now. And there's still, I think, a lot of stigma that comes along with the way that men view women, their menstrual cycles, and their hormonal fluctuations. To play devil's advocate to that, I think that it's partially up to the women to be

able to first educate themselves and then educate their partner because the way that the system has been set up, men don't know anything about our bodies. We didn't know anything about our bodies until I think more recently in this kind of movement that we've seen. So I think it's just like an overall kind of educational process that needs to happen. But I think that the instinct is for men to be like, oh my God, she's crazy. She's like probably in her period. And that's such a damaging thing to say and to think. Yeah. What's the best way men can approach that? I think to ask questions or to not make a person feel uncomfortable when they try to explain it. I know, listen, my husband's like in the thick of it because it's his wife and his sister.

But it's a very, it's a wonderful kind of, I guess, new layer in our relationship for him to go, oh yeah, you're in your, like he knows when I'm in my luteal phase versus when I'm in my follicular phase and how that affects me. Which is which? So follicular phase happens basically first, then you ovulate, and then you go into your luteal phase and your luteal happens right before your period. So everything in your follicular phase is when like everything's pretty great. Your hormone levels are kind of rising. You have a lot of estrogen. Your skin looks great. You're a lot more social. And then you get to ovulation

where all of this kind of peaks. You glow. It's wonderful. You have a ton of energy. And then you hit your luteal phase and you are a lot more emotional, a lot more drained, and a lot less social. The good thing about it is that you generally have the ability to focus. So I use it for like times when I need to read for six hours on at a time or write an essay or do whatever. But, but him just kind of knowing like, oh, you're in this, this phase. And, and these are the days that you're generally a lot more sensitive. He's just, he's more empathetic towards me. And that's all like the understanding of that just makes our relationship a lot better yeah i mean i i'm i know i'm ignorant in these things did these these terms that

ashley's using have you heard are you do you know about this stuff no i also i feel like this is like yeah if i i mean i'm still learning stuff about my body and health and my sister teaches me and every time i learn something as we advance in life and become more knowledgeable about diets and workouts, it's always like, fuck, you know. This is really helpful information to, like, if nothing else, to your point, just to understand. Yeah.

Like, when you learned this stuff for the first time, were you like, oh, my God. It was mind-blowing, and it was it was a, so like long story short, I got off hormonal birth control three years ago. And when I did, my whole body went crazy. My hormones were like in crazy fluctuation. I had crazy mood swings, adult acne, horrible cramps, and was just like, what is happening to my body?

And it was really, for me, it was depressing and it was frustrating. And I just didn't know what I was supposed to do. And so I started educating myself and finally got a handle on my menstrual cycle as a whole and was like, oh, I can work with it versus it owning me and kind of working against me. And it's changed everything. Just the acknowledgement of, oh yeah, my hormones are going to be here during these days makes you go, oh, I'm not crazy. I just know that like this hormone happens to be higher right now and this is my response to it. So for me, it's extremely eye-opening and

has kind of changed how I develop my social schedule, how I work out, how I do my skincare, what I eat. There's a whole, it's called cycle syncing, but like it's kind of a whole new world. And most women don't know about it, which is kind of bananas. Yeah. I feel like that would be, I mean, where can people get more information about this? Sorry, I just went on a tangent, but I'm passionate about it. But it's- I think my audience will really be into it. It's like 90% women. It is. Yeah. We do Instagram lives all the time with a lot of our, we have a lot of medical advisors and people that specialize in this space, but our hummingway.com is our website. And then that's the same handle for

Instagram. Great. I think Nick and Daniel are almost here, but before we get them on, I know you have a new podcast out and I'd love you to talk about that a little bit, but obviously from your time on Twilight, what is one or a few of the most like memorable moments in terms of filming whether it's like behind the scenes or just like something like is nostalgic for you when you think about your time filming all those shows with the cast that like you find to be something you look back and it kind of always brings you a smile um I think one of the like there were quite a few of them but we had like jam sessions in usually it was rob's hotel room because he had the biggest room um and uh we would all go and there was multiple musicians on the twilight set and so people would just bring their guitars

sing we would drink you know people would smoke. And it was just this wonderful bonding experience for us because we couldn't at that point really leave the hotel because it had become such a big thing. And so I think those moments are always something that's really special to us because it's kind of what made us a family. And then, you know, I think the big scenes were always, we were together for that were fun. Like the baseball scene is something that I'll always remember because it was together for that were fun. Like the baseball scene is something that I'll always remember because it was quite miserable while we were filming it. The weather was just intense and it was freezing. And we didn't know it was the first scene that we shot for Twilight. And so it was a super green kind of new experience for me. And seeing the way it turned out was super,

super cool because I was like, this is not going to be good. I'm not going to look great. This is like, I don't know how to pitch a baseball and it turned out really great so that one stands out and you look like an all-star yeah they're like she definitely knows what she's doing I mean that's part of it though I think you kind of fib your way you know to get to get the part sometimes as long as you know you can fake it on screen that's great were there any like challenges you had well well I mean filming what's the what's the thing other than like I'm assuming once it got so big your life drastically changed for like yeah you mentioned like you know just even reality tv and dating like your circle gets

smaller you get a little like guarded yeah was that a big adjustment for you and dealing with that it was it was a weird like looking back at it now, I'm like, how did we survive this? But like I was 20. I turned 21 when we were filming the first one. And it was my first real job. Like I had done kind of like day player stuff and been like the girl who gets stabbed on one of the like NCIS shows. But it was my first real job. And so I think I was just like absorbing a lot of it and had no kind of, I had no baseline of what this was supposed to be like. And so for me, I was just kind of like, oh, cool. This is great. Like I'm a working actor now.

But as, you know, as things go, I noticed more now being able to look back in retrospect, how it might've not damaged me, but there were certainly effects that it had. Like I became a very, like, it takes me a really long time to open up to people and to kind of expand my circle. And so you like start to see things like that. And like, I was so concerned with the way I was perceived because Alice was such this beacon of light for so many young girls. And so like to be able, like what I was talking about earlier, like my husband's like, why don't you just like be yourself? And I'm like, because I'm sarcastic and I cuss and I like for so long was presented as this like lady that was Alice. And so like now I can kind of see those those things. But I was I came out pretty unscathed. Yeah. I mean, I've thought about that, too. Just I wonder how much being on reality TV has changed the psychology of my brain. how much being on reality TV has changed the psychology of my brain. Yeah, I think you,

same thing, like anytime you're thrust into fame at all, I think it's a weird adjustment and it's just not normal. And so I think it certainly has to affect you. And I would imagine it affects how open you are or were with people and realize pretty quickly that you have to choose your words. You know, like I think that you just want to, like, be yourself. But sometimes, maybe you don't filter yourself at all, but I had to learn pretty quickly. I think we all, to a certain extent, I mean, I think I've always been good at, you know, I mean, where you're coming from and I'm coming from was different places.

Like, you had this expectation of living up to this character, and I was portrayed as a character, and I was kind of going the other direction sometimes of trying to show people who I thought I really was versus the perception of things. But either way, just even to have that thought of having to even worry about that, I think, can really... Yeah, it affects, I think people,

it's just a weird, weird thing. And also the other thing I had to like figure out was that it's okay to be one thing, one moment and be something else the next moment. Like, I think, especially for us, we started, we were 20s and you're such a different human, you know, from 20 to 25 and 25 to 30 and so on. And i was so afraid to like change that because i was like people know me as this and it's like at this point i think you have to be a little you know unapologetic about who you are yeah it's a definitely you kind of have to get to a point where you're just like you know what i'm i'm not going to be afraid to i'm going to be less self-conscious i suppose yeah you just gotta you just got to be yourself. Yeah.

All right. Well, Ashley, we're going to do this mediation call with... I've never been so nervous. You are nervous? Don't be. I always get a little nervous, too, with the mediation calls. Like with the athnics, it's like breathing for me now. I don't even prep or whatever. I just sit down and I'm like, tell me your story.

But with the mediation calls, you're juggling a little bit more. And you're only getting one person's story, which is great. I'm going to side with you. I'm just going to let you lead. I get a little nervous. We'll be fine. And as people know, we're not...

We're just human. We don't pretend to be experts. If you enjoy our answers, we're right. If not, then we're not experts. Maybe you misinterpreted. Yeah, maybe. Let's let Nick and Danielle in. Nick and Danielle, welcome. Thank you.

Thanks for having us. I could not be more excited to have you guys on. As soon as I saw you on the show, I was like, my dream is to mediate a fight between Nick and Danielle. And I made some phone calls and I said, all I really want is an opportunity to talk to you. You guys were me personally, my favorite couple. You gave us plenty of drama.

Certainly we weren't sure if you guys were gonna make it at the wedding they really left us on a cliffhanger of who was gonna say yes who was gonna say no and at the reunion you guys i mean seemed as happy as as anyone so uh congratulations on on marriage um i i promised the show I wouldn't talk too much about the show because we're going to make this about the mediation, so we can't wait to get into that. Nick, I have one question for you. How hot exactly was it at your wedding?

It was 90 degrees. It was like 60-something percent humidity. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. They left me out there for probably 20 minutes just baking. Oh, brutal. Before Danielle came out. It was brutal. And I'm a sweater in general.

So you put me in that situation, it's not good. Same, man. I'm a sweater too. And we were talking about destination weddings earlier. And it's brutal being in the sun in a full-on tuxedo. It is torture. That was a dick move on their part all right well let's get into it all right thank you um who wants to start telling the story about the thing that

you guys are uh butting heads with so lately it's it's really not been anything too crazy it's it's simple stuff like yeah like we're getting like growing pains of living together yeah and things like that what what is it just like give us one yeah that's that's the thing on these calls it's always simple stuff it was taco night it was one couple it's always but it's like radio stations in the car yeah but it's like we we try to figure out how we can avoid butting heads i don't even try in the car i just let her plug in and so what like what are mediation for the cat and the dog whatever it is what are the things that you guys are kind of you know not like nothing that's

breaking you guys up but what are some things that you guys are bickering about on a regular basis i would say not necessarily bickering but we a regular basis? I would say not necessarily bickering, but we definitely do have different like cleanliness habits. Yeah. So I'm trying to be a little bit more. I don't like clutter. It makes me uncomfortable. I like immediately have to get up. Yeah.

I was going to guess that Nick was the tidier person. Yeah. I'm also a messy person, Daniela. So that's not coming from a place of judgment, but, uh, I would say, I wouldn't say messy. I would just say, um, like she's not messy. I would just say there's a, there, she has a lot of stuff. So it's like finding places for the stuff or, um, you know, she'll have like four or five water glasses around the house. She denies it.

No. So he always gets annoyed because he's like, oh my God, you have like three different water glasses. This is the like eighth one that I've had to put in the dishwasher. I'm like, if you stop putting them in the dishwasher, I wouldn't have to get another one out of the cabinet. Right? At that point, I always just ask my husband

to take a lap around the house. Yeah. And then he picks up. Every time I'm using something, I'm not finished yet. And then I'll be like, where'd that knife go? Do you do that too? It's in the dishwasher. Because honestly, I am not a tidy.

No one's ever accusing me of being super tidy. So I'm not one to call, talk, or criticize anyone. That being said, Natalie, my girlfriend, also leaves cups everywhere. I don't do that. But I have a water bottle that I just carry around with me, which probably eliminates that. Me too. Same one all the time. I'm with you. There's no one on my side on this. Everyone always takes Nick's side

on this. It's not fair. I thought I had a good valid point. I can tell Nick's too efficient for me. You're a practical person. I'm not efficient I can tell like Nick's too efficient for me like you're a practical person I can tell like the like I'm not efficient or practical enough to always have a water bottle and I probably leave cups around but not like I just I get to the point like we I go through that my husband is is more messy and I'm I'm not like super anally clean but like I definitely I will

like in the morning first thing like I make sure the kitchen's clean like I will clean up after myself or with him it's like I have to be like here's your list and like that's what I've come to terms with now is that it's just like I have to make him list of things to do around the house and then he'll do them but yeah I can't he won't just do it on his own so when right now, you are just letting her know that the cups are out and you guys get any, like, does it get on each other's nerves? I just put them in the dishwasher now. Oh, you don't say anything?

Or do you still make a comment? I'll make a comment if she's around. And I think I'm being, like, extra careful to be as clean as possible, but I feel like eventually it kind of slips. So it's like right now he hasn't seen the worst of it. But if it's like you go into the closet, there's a very obvious like difference between what his side is and what my side is. Cause I kind of just shove things. Cause I'm trying to be, I'm trying to be efficient. I'm like, I don't have time to fold like that. Oh yeah. So that's another one that we were actually just talking about this yesterday. So I worked at a old Navy for a number of years.

So I have like a very specific way that I fold things because when you work at a clothing store, if you've ever had, it's like drilled into your head. This is how shirts are folded. This is how pants are folded. And hers, uh, her way of folding is just non-existent. Yeah. I'm with Danielle. I worked at express man for like a month and I was like, yeah,

fuck it. This is not me. This is, I don't know. I, there's one time where I did this, like did his laundry. Cause he does mine like often too.

And I like spent so much time trying to fold. Like I was so proud of myself for folding and then he comes over and like unfolds it and refolds it I'm like I put I literally spent an hour trying to make it perfect I know it was when she does she does try I this might just be me and I'm curious what you think about this Ashley so and and you guys could take this however you want but as I've gotten older, and especially now with my relationship with Natalie, I felt like part of, like, we all want to be better people, right? Like, we're never finished products, self-improvement, therapy.

These are all great things. We advocate for all of them. We should never stop trying to be a better person. I'm with that. Yeah. However, there are certain things that we just are not good at, you know? And I think also part of getting older is being comfortable with who you are and just being like, you know what?

I know what I'm good at and I know what I'm not. And I think for me in relationships when I was younger, I didn't really totally understand the things that like these are things I should never accept and I should always work on these things versus things of like, you know what, this is who I am. And I can still try to work on this, but especially with dating people and getting to know someone, it's kind of like I just need to be honest with you. I'm never going to be good at this. I'm never, I don't close cabinets. I don't fold laundry. I will try and you're welcome to remind me, but just so you know, like I just, my brain says don't do it.

And I think sometimes, I think when you're in a relationship, you kind of almost have to have those conversations of just acknowledging some of these basic strengths and weaknesses that like the way our personalities are and the way our brains are made to say, babe, I love you. And yeah, I'll try, but I'm never going to be as good as you. It's never going to come as easy. So are you going to be okay good as you I'm just it's never going to come as easy so like are you going to be okay with that and sometimes being okay with that Nick I will say is just putting in the dishwasher and not saying anything because eventually it just sounds like it's just a reminder of something you know you're not good at yeah and it's just like what the fuck am I

supposed to do my brain i don't know how to do it like folding laundry for me is a nightmare i think it's about like there are like you do have to acknowledge what the other person just innately is not good at but i think it is that idea that you are continuing to try for your partner every day and to kind of, you know, grow with them every day is the important step because like, I've definitely like, there is a certain point at which I'm like, it's not worth the battle, you know, and I'll just do it. But like my husband and I created where I was like, all right, well, you're good at this and I'm good at this. So these are the things that like, so I'm like, the yard is your job, you know, like I don't want to do the yard.

You don't clearly know how to do laundry. So like, that's our, our trade-off. And I think that's fair. Yeah. I think you just kind of work with things that you, again, you're like strengths, weaknesses, like you think of your, your relationship in your house as kind of like this team or unit you're trying to like, we need, we need to make this work together. Yeah. And then if, if not also, like, I just don't have an attitude anymore where I'm like, Hey babe, can you do this? And then he does it right away. Or like, if he's like, Hey, I need you to do this. I do it right away. And there's no, like, there's no kind of negativity underneath it. It's just like, listen, I know that you're really not good at cleaning the house at all. So like, I have to be like today, you're going to, can you

just do your office? And like, I need you to, to change the water filters. And he's like, great. And like, that's it. He does it. And then that's our happy medium. Yeah, that works. Anything else, you guys? What else? What other little things?

We just have different definitions of things. Like my definition of clean is different than his definition of clean. But I think that that's also like something that we're just like in general learning in couples therapy is like, I'll say something and he'll say something and our definite definitions of the word are just like different so there is a lot of misinterpretations and I think that at first like that was kind of like like throughout the you know show and when we first got together like some of our like disagreements were just like we were saying the same exact thing and we didn't even realize it because like again

it's like different languages how did you guys how do you guys are how are you finding the common ground when you are are realize you're defining things differently yeah well it's actually like our our therapist is almost like a translator so she's like translating each other like you're saying the same thing you just don't recognize it so we just like have to repeat back translating each other. You're like, you're saying the same thing. You just don't recognize it. So we just like have to repeat back to each other. What are some things you guys have bickered about that you realize you're just misdefining? You're coming from a different point of views. Well, the most recent one was when I was moving in. And then there was like, I had to get rid of a lot of stuff.

He had to get rid of a lot of stuff. And he was like, I'm sad. And I thought he meant he was sad, I had to get rid of a lot of stuff. He had to get rid of a lot of stuff. And he was like, I'm sad. And I thought he meant he was sad that I was moving in. And of course, like I was being a little bit dramatic with that. And I'm like, you should be happy. And he's like, no, I'm sad that I'm getting rid of some old Bears jerseys and they suck now. Yeah, I'm getting rid of some of my favorite players jerseys

from when the Bears were irrelevant. And I was like, oh, that was a nice time. Did you make him get rid of the jerseys or did you? No, no. She was like, keep them. And I was like, Oh, that was a nice time. Did you make him get rid of the jerseys or did you? No, no. She was like, keep them. And I was like, there's really no point. That was like, it was just literally so dumb because I thought he was saying something completely different than he was. And then we started bickering about it. It's like, but then what, you know, the other thing is like, stop,

take a step back, take a breather. i go walk the dog she goes crazy on gchat who are you gchatting him like when we gchat when we're working so it's easier to communicate are you fighting are you fighting over text Gchat when we're both working. Danielle, please, for the love of God, save your energy. I know. It's another thing I'm working on. I'm going to have to just delete Gchat. I've been in plenty of fights with partners via text.

And there is nothing more inefficient. Are you better at those? Sometimes I find that I personally am better at expressing how I feel if I write it out versus if I say it. Sometimes I'm like, I can't have this conversation because I just want to blow up. And then I'll go in the other room

and I'll literally text him and be like, this is how I'm feeling and these are the underlying issues. Well think everyone's different I get that logic but I think if you're gonna do that especially with you know your husband or people you're comfortable with write it down so you can like actively get your thoughts like lined up and realize and then sit down with them and even if it's as cheesy as like all right i can i just read this to you because i thought about it and i put it down pen to paper but when you even with people you've been dating and know people don't read texts how you wrote it people read texts how

they're feeling you know just like imagine you got sensitive when he told you to your face about like getting rid of jerseys and you still were in your feelings about like how you might interpret it. And it's magnified times, I don't know, a hundred when you're reading it. Like, I mean, no emoji and no wink face can really articulate like how you're feeling. So, and I, and we've all made made that mistake but when you're just be like all right let's talk about this when we get home save your because like you're you're i in my experience you're you're more bound to create more things to fight about while trying to solve a fight via any type of written text mine's usually like i'm so sorry that i did that and i it's not like me trying to like i don't i know. I just like, I get, sometimes I'm like, I can't

deal with it. I have to leave. And like, we're not in a good place. And then I like have time to decompress. And then I'm like, I'm sorry that I did this. This is the way I was feeling. If you're apologizing, fine. But if you're, if you're in the middle of a fight, I mean, I don't know about you, but I'm a dyslexic. I don't even like reading. And when I'm frustrated and emotional, I skim. Yeah. So I don't even fully

read it. Yeah. I mean, I agree with you. Like, having an argument over text is a horrible idea. Yeah. So please, off the GTAP. All I have to say right now, too, really, I keep looking back, the dog and cat are playing, so you're somehow mediating them because they've never played like this before.

Oh, my God, yeah. Wow. It's actually the first time this has ever happened. They're like, we love it when you guys speak your feelings. We're bringing people together. Yeah. Yeah, no, we keep saying no more G-chat or text fights and then they sometimes still happen.

But again, like seeing each other's facial expressions or hearing the tone of voice, like that's so important. Yeah. And so like, again, it's like everything's misinterpreted. The other thing with texting and G-chat, you know, we're working our normal jobs. So you go into a meeting

or you go into work for a couple hours and then a text goes unread or it sits there and then it marinates or you read it and you don't have a thoughtful response. And then you're sitting there and you're marinating, you're stewing in your own juices and then you come in even hotter than you were before. So it's just a bad idea. Yeah. We need to stop. A habit to break. But we've been a lot better at that. I feel like if you're in a fight and you can't talk the only text you should ever send is something to the effect of

i know we're angry at each other right now but i love you and we'll get through this at home and you're just like no matter what you just so that way that will diffuse the i need to be right or we're angry at each other it's like and i every time i might every time i get in a fight with uh my girlfriend there's always like you know you're gonna be okay and i you're married you know you're gonna be okay but there's always a feeling of like fear of of it like fear of this being a bigger issue or getting through it. And it feels like a very insecure place to be in when you're kind of at angst with your significant other. I hate it.

It's a nerve wracking. So I get the wanting to solve the problem. So if you can't solve the problem, just say the thing that you are, you know, you're, hey, we're going to be, I love you. And we'll get through this. And I'm still going to fight with you

when we get home. We're going to have a difference in opinion. And we'll find a common ground. But like the G chat. One of the things that I was going to say yeah one of the things that i was gonna say one of the things that we also learned and that we're kind of finally able to do is there's times when our therapist is like guys this isn't important just drop it yeah and so we're we're working you know the last few months and just being like you know what this is stupid let's just drop it and then we just drop

it we go about our day and you know it It took us a long time to get there. But we finally are doing it. It's no longer, was this one too many water glasses left out? I'm out of here. Well, I mean, these girls always hear me say, do you want to be right

or do you want to be happy? And I've had to learn not to compete with my partners. I'm a naturally competitive person. And so if you're a competitive person,'re just naturally competitive yep and everything with everything so when you're in a disagreement like if you have if you have any sense of pride natalie and i are prideful people and it's kind of like sometimes we're just like like i don't i don't even if i feel right i don't need to be right that It doesn't matter that much. It doesn't matter that much.

And yeah, that can be definitely a challenge. I'm with you. Yeah, I don't know. Anything else before we let you guys go about anything? I just want to say, yeah, she's super competitive. I mean, we were talking about making chili a couple weeks ago, and she's just like, let's have a chili tasting contest. I'm like, why don't we just each have chili it would be fun i mean yeah i make everything a

competition he's like can we not do that i mean it's i think it can be okay it's just you have to be able to have you have to kind of have the self-awareness to make it playful you know yeah and and uh have you guys found that nick you brought up something i want to ask you about because you're the more correct me if i'm wrong you seem to be the more practical person danielle seems to be the more like laissez-faire like uh let's just uh and both have its advantages both are there i mean you could see how they'd be great in a relationship to have two people when it comes to like you trying on the costumes which was obviously a funny moment in the scene like how i'd love to hear from both you what are things from each other that you guys have that that don't come naturally you know that it's like oh this is not in my comfort zone that

you think you've rubbed off on the other person in a positive way where you've, maybe you have first thought this is like weird or different or even uncomfortable, but instead of like resisting it, have learned to, you know, embrace that and become a more well-rounded person as a result of some of the things that your partner's good at. You want to go first? Yeah. I know like there's a lot of things with him. Like I think one is he doesn't take what other people think about him or say about him like as seriously as I do. So I'm like learning from him how to kind of brush that off because like everyone, like even before this, it was like every single person I met, I was like, they have to like me, they have to like me. And now it's just like, they don't, not everyone's going to like

you. Um, and I think like, he also does kind of like Brown me, keeps me in more. I used to feel like I had to say yes to everyone and, and, you know, be around my friends all the time. And so now I'm kind of like, okay, I can, I can sit at home. I can tell people no. Um, cause that was also hard. I was like a yes, a yes man. Like if you ask me three times, I say yes every time. And so it's like, he's like, you know, you have to put boundaries up because you're going to like be emotionally drained if you're constantly saying yes to not only hanging out with people, but like always being like the friend that people call. And if I'm already like feeling upset about something, it's kind of like, I can't get dreaming. So he's helping me with that. Yeah. I have found true friends are stick around when you start setting boundaries

and saying no, and they still come back and people who aren't your real friends, they just will disappear when you start setting boundaries. What about you, Nick? Yeah. I, I, um, I'm actually really introverted, which a lot of people don't think when they meet me. Oh, I saw it. Oh, really? I appreciate that. Most people are like, no, you're not. But I'm pretty introverted.

Oh, go ahead. I'm introverted. I'm more of an ambivert, but I have a lot of introverted characteristics. And yeah, I saw it. Yeah. Yeah. We got to unite on these things. Yeah. We got to unite on these things. Um, so I think for me, like there were times where I could go like literally weeks without seeing people or talking to people outside of work and I'm fine.

Like I, I like being with my own thoughts and in my own head. So, um, what she's done is she's actually gets me out more in a positive way, doing things that I normally wouldn't do just because I would, you know, not be wouldn't do just because I would, you know, not be out and about as much. So like going to more concerts, I've probably gone to more concerts in the last year than I had my previous life. Yeah. Like getting out.

Well, I've always liked water parks, but I'm just getting out. I fucking hate water parks. What? I don't want to be in a line with naked people. I don't. I don't. It's just like. It's not a nude water park.

Yeah. Well, I basically make it. There's too much skin and not enough space is all I'm saying. But I digress. Go ahead, Nick. Sorry for interrupting.

Yeah. So I would say she gets me out more in a good way. Keeps me social. And then I think too just the way that she does drift towards people. Like I have five friends. They all know who they are just for me saying that, that I hang out with and

I see regularly and the rest of the people, you know, I just keep casual touch with. But, you know, she's got me more friends, more friends that are her friends, more friends that are our friends. And I think, you know, just that element of it is really cool too, because it always keeps you on your toes and the way you think and what you do and all that stuff. And I've lightened up a little bit on costume wearing at random times and having Mark band out over there. He does it. He dances on tables. He wears costumes. Yeah. My girlfriend made me less grumpy. Yeah, sure. My husband laughs a lot.

My husband's definitely the extrovert and like dances around and could care less what people think about him. And I was much more the introvert. It's good. It's a nice balance to have. I think it's like you both

kind of bring out the best in each other. Like you don't want someone who's just like you. Yeah. I totally agree. I love that. Things are going well. Yeah. I totally agree. I love that. Things are going well. I love that for you guys.

And we usually end these things by saying one nice thing about the other, but I feel like you guys could. That was it. That was it. Yeah. I just want to say one thing to Danielle. On the reunion at the end, when you were standing up for Deep D,

I thought that was your absolute best moment. And the way you talked about Deep D with such confidence about who she was as a person, I want that for yourself. I want you, the same way you talk about Deep D, I want you to talk to yourself about you, right? And Deep D is a great person. We know that. But you were so open about your insecurities on the show and things like that.

And that takes a lot of confidence to talk about your insecurities. But you looked like you came across as such a confident strong person when standing up for your friend and I thought it was a great moment and I would I would love for you to have to look in a mirror and and stand up for yourself that way and I just I had to say that no I appreciate that a lot and it's actually like from going like since going through this experience I was realizing like I'm my own worst enemy and so I've done like a lot of like self-love work. And that was like one of the things it's like, okay, talk to yourself.

Like you're talking to your friend in every situation that you have. And I'm like, okay, I'm not that bad. What other people think of you is none of your business. And as long as you're, I have to remind myself every day, but it is true. Well, glad to see you guys are doing well. Thanks for coming on. We appreciate it.

And best of luck to you guys. And I hope the cat and the dog keep playing with each other. Can't thank you enough for that one. That's the real winners here. It's like I just saw a kid walk for the first time. So it's bad. But thank you so much.

Thanks for having us on. This was fun. Oh, our pleasure. Thanks for taking the time. I appreciate it. Of course. All right. Take care, guys.

Bye. What a lovely couple. Oh my gosh. They're so sweet. Yeah. I love that they're going through couples therapy. And it's a slightly different mediation call than we typically have, but,

uh, they're like, we love each other. We're great, but they're still G chatting. I feel like that was our, our big value add there is to reinforce just how bad it is. And if you're listening and you're fighting with your significant other via

texts, there's, I don't, there's no upside unless you're either apologizing and saying I love you or reminding them we'll finish this at home. But the passive aggressive gchat, not a good idea. Yeah, it's fine or whatever. And you can still be in a fight and still be in love and let your partner know that you still care about them and you still love them and it's going to be fine and you'll get through it. And if you feel fear about the fight you're in, chances are your partner does too. And it's a good time to maybe show some empathy and not focus

about, focus on how right you are. Yeah. I think it's like, if you're going to disagree, do it respectfully. Like, I think that's one of the biggest things is like, we have disagreements all the time, but we're never disrespectful. And like, we always take a breath and try and, I don't know,

decompress a little bit before responding. Yeah. I catch myself anytime I say something like, I will reference anything other than being in the present moment which is something along the lines of you always do this type of stuff and like i realize that i'm i'm going off track yeah you know like you're not and sometimes we like to reference those things to like advocate

for a point of view in the in the moment but it you know it i but I've now created the self-awareness to be like, that's not helping. Yeah, that's not going to help anything. It's just going to make the other person defensive. Get defensive. Yeah. But it's something we always have to keep working on because... So easy to do. So easy to do.

And when I get defensive, I see one mode and it is win. And that's a horrible way to go into any kind of disagreement it's tough it's of the the human spirit yeah because it's really like protect but it's like protect in the form of win yeah so it's like it's like something gets like stirred up and then it's like oh yeah well that's always the aftermath right would be like we've the way that we argue is has definitely evolved but like in the start, I was very, again, like guarded. And like, if he said something that like hit a nerve, it was like all bets were off.

And I was just like extremely defensive, couldn't see where he was coming from whatsoever. And like the fight just didn't get anywhere until after I calmed down and was like, well, I said that because I felt this way when you said that. And like, that was the, and then after that conversation was had, it was like, oh, well, I never made, wanted to make you feel that. And then after that conversation was had,

it was like, oh, well, I never wanted to make you feel that way. And it was fine, but our fights were a lot more long-winded previously. Darlene, my therapist, told me to, after 10 minutes, you got to take a time out. And honestly, that really worked. She said, after five or 10 minutes, we go into our, we fight like we're children literally yeah ashley this has been a ton of fun yeah thank you so much for joining please let my audience know where they can follow you

listen to your podcast all those amazing things you're doing please let them know yeah so you can follow me my handle on instagram is ashley green um we are launching the twilight effect podcast on the 15th uh you can listen to it on apple podcast or anywhere you get your podcast um you can also watch us on youtube just like they and they record and they we do record this is something i was not aware of when we first started when we went into the podcast what's that that they were also recorded oh in a video yeah oh yeah i was like oh god not everyone does though i know but i feel like it is it's again like twilight is such a fan heavy like they have been in this world for such a long time that i think the the viewing element is just a

wonderful gift to give them yeah there we definitely on our show have a contingent of people who want to just watch it visually and especially like certain guests and you know they're like i believe i have batman on they're gonna watch that one when you have batman on uh yeah i'm gonna yeah i probably would watch that one too it's very pretty and like people's mannerisms, like I probably, that's a lie, I listen to them. But I do like watching people's interviews.

Yeah, it just depends. I'm usually in the car when I listen to my podcast though. It's been a pleasure, Ashley. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. Make sure you follow Ashley. Check out her new podcast.

Thanks for listening, guys. Don't forget to send in your questions at asknick at castmedia.com, cast with a K, for both our Ask Nick episodes and our remediation calls for all the couples out there. Friends. Let's focus on friends.

I don't know if we're ever going to get coworkers. Friend fights, disagreements, dating relationships. As you guys are hearing, people get afraid. We always try to remind our audience, we're not here to pick a winner. Yep. We're just here. Call in a favor to your boyfriend or fiance.

Say you want to do this. You'll be better off for it. Write us. Get on the show. It'll be a lot of fun. You get to be anonymous. Don't forget, four episodes next week.

Our Ask Nick, two Bachelor recaps and we are getting the front runner what we I've been told we're gonna get the most upset woman thank God on the show what a title to have the most

upset woman not from season whatever of the bachelor coming directly from AFR to this studio. I'm just going to come and watch that one because I'm a fan of the show. You're not caught up. Wild stuff.

You're not going to want to miss a moment of it. So tune in. We'll see you next week. Bye.