The Viall Files - E408 Going Deeper - Chloe Cherry Talks Adult Film, Euphoria and The Ultimatum

Episode Date: April 13, 2022

Welcome back to The Viall Files, Going Deeper edition! Today we are joined by Euphoria Actress, Chloe Cherry! On this episode we ask Chloe the questions you want to hear. From debunking the rumor that she’s Amish, to putting professionalism into the adult film industry, and answering the question of what it means to be independent and truly happy with yourself. We also talk about changing your life to pursue a new path, how judgmental people usually have the biggest insecurities, the source of Faye’s one-liners, being scouted through Instagram, and Chloe’s best interactions when filming Euphoria. We also dive into the drama of the Ultimatum and make predictions on what we think will be revealed in the upcoming finale. We then welcome our mediation call, where a couple struggles with conflicting schedules and finding out what to do when your partner is “too tired” to go out on dates.  “A job is just what kind of day you can get through.”  Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to [e-mail] to be a part of our Monday episodes.  Pre-Order Nick’s Book: https://www.abramsbooks.com/product/dont-text-your-ex-happy-birthday_9781419755491/ Check out our new "Introvert" merch at http://www.viallfiles.com today! THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: Earnest: Right now, Earnest is offering our listeners a 100 dollar cash bonus. Refinance your student debt at Earnest.com/VIALL Not available in all states. Seed: Visit http://www. seed.com/VIALL and use code VIALL to redeem 20% off your first month of Seed’s Daily Synbiotic. Episode Socials:  @viallfiles @nickviall @perfect_angelgirl @cleanpuppy See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

you're crazy what's going on everybody welcome back to another episode of the vile files going deeper edition and uh wow i'm excited for this episode the wonderful entertaining captivating super talented and interesting chloe cherry from euphoria is with us today to talk about her very extraordinary life uh that is sounds like it's just getting started and i feel like it's important to preface like if you've heard any of her interviews before, this is different. We do a deeper dive.

Oh, thank you, Allie. Yeah. Sorry, I couldn't stop thinking about the fact, I was like, if you're not super familiar with the show and don't know that we always call this episode Going Deeper, you might think that's like a weird pun because of her adult film background.

That was all I could think about the second you said it. I was like, oh. No, we now call our Wednesdays episodes Going Deeper because we go deeper with our guests. Yeah. She was the poster of Just the Tip episode. Just the Tip. On Mondays.

And the money shot Tuesdays. Anyway, that's for childishness. No, Chloe is fascinating. For those of you who are tuning in to listen to Chloe, you probably know a lot about her background. If not, she is one of the stars on Euphoria. She has a background in the adult film industry. I learned a lot.

She's very like interesting stuff. She talked about just, I think some of the unknowns of how the industry works. I didn't, I had no idea. Yeah, I also thought it was cool how a lot of her answers to these sort of, yeah, like these like heightened, very extreme situations of like being cast on Euphoria

or like some things that, you know, most people aren't as familiar with adult films. A lot of those answers, though, circled back to stuff that is such relatable, applicable advice, regardless of kind of what it might be in response to. 100%. Before we get to Chloe,

quick, so Will Smith was exiled from the Academy for 10 years. 10 years. I just feel like that's bullshit. was exiled from the Academy for 10 years. 10 years. I just feel like that's bullshit. And this is someone who, if you listen to this show, thought Will Smith was 100% wrong.

I was Team Chris from the get. But I was talking to, I think, Amanda about this. It's just like, here's one thing I just can't stand about our society in general. It's just like, because of the way social media is, it's like, if people don't get the appropriate reaction of how they should react, say in the moment, which is sometimes hard to do because like, especially that, that situation was like, I think everyone was in shock. But if we don't get that reaction right we have a tendency to overreact it's like i i really don't understand what now seems to be the piling on of this situation with

will smith and like what seems to be like now his movies are being like pushed off and delayed it's like are people trying to cancel will smith also like why 10 years it's so fucking arbitrary yeah like had it been a fist would it have been 15 like how do you go about even yeah like why 10 years it's so fucking arbitrary yeah like had it been a fist would it have been 15 like how do you go about yeah what's it yeah like why not a year you know like if what like the whole point of like having some sort of like penalty is to a like make sure the person who's done the crime like make sure they understand like they've learned there's one aspect of like having to pay like to do yeah accountability accountability actions have consequences and something that's like and so

like for those of you who don't know it's a pretty common thing it's the previous best actor winner always is the presenter for the subsequent year best actress and vice versa so will smith having one best actor should have been the one to announce the next winner for best actress next year so if he misses next year he won't be able to do that that will that will be a year from now we will be reminded on a national a worldwide platform on a show of once again what will smith did and i feel like that might be enough but nine more years i just don't understand. Like, what's the point? Also, I think it's important to note,

like, he can still be nominated, but then he couldn't attend. Even more stupid. Yeah. Oh, because, like, Will... Like, in five years, he could be nominated for a different role, but not come.

So that is so fucking dumb, because that, to me, tells me that they did it because they're, like, they're now acting like we can't trust Will Smith now at the awards. Like he made a mistake. He was so absolutely wrong.

To me, they gave him 10 years because they felt like, oh, we didn't handle it best in the moment. So now we need to show that we take this seriously because we're afraid of what people are going to say. And they came up with this stupid fucking 10 year thing. But no, he can still win awards, but he can't show up because we're afraid he's going to slap someone four years up with this stupid fucking 10 year thing but no he can still win awards but he can't show up because we're afraid

he's going to slap someone four years from now give me a fucking break you know who's not going to slap someone at the Oscars

in the next 10 years ever again Will Smith it's just fucking stupid it's also like what was the meeting like where they were

discussing it and someone was like I think 10 years and someone else was like what about 11 it's not 10 it's a good round number it's so fucking stupid yeah it's like I know that he's going to be on? Yeah. It's not 10. It's a good round number. It's so fucking stupid.

Yeah. It's like, I know that he's going to be on parole for five. It's like, what? Yeah. Anyway,

next week, we got the ultimatum. That's, some of you probably have already watched it. The, the, the final episode and then the

reunion. And then, one of the couples who is still together will be with us next week, Wednesday for our going deeper episodes. So be sure to tune into that. You won't want to miss that. in and then uh one of the couples who is still together will be with us next week wednesday for our going deeper episode so be sure to tune into that you won't want to miss that we do talk a little bit about uh we don't really we we spent a lot of time yesterday if you're into the ultimatum go back and listen to her or what essentially is like a recap of it yesterday uh chloe did watch

it uh we got some of her thoughts uh and then we kind of tied into our own lives. Anyway, Chloe Cherry, everybody. Chloe. Hello. Welcome. Thank you so much for having me. So excited to have you. I've told my audience how I met you. Oh, yeah. So just for the people listening who didn't hear me pitch it before. So we met at the W Magazine party. Yeah, we met at a party. And when you walked in, I was with my girlfriend Natalie at the time. I don't know what you expect with these parties you go to.

They're kind of like whatever. When we walked in, usually you're expecting to know somebody. Yeah. And this party, Natalie and I got there relatively early because we were just like, we don't know how this is going to be a pain in the ass to get in. It's hard to get in.

And we walk in and we didn't really know anyone. And then it was just like kind of essentially A-list celebrity after A-list celebrity walking in. Yeah, it was pretty crazy. I was kind of like, we were kind of awkwardly intimidated. I like to think I can like, you know, like act as if. And like I've hung out around plenty. I've had a lot of moments of meeting various celebrities and have friends, you know, but like in a, in a whole room of people, we were like kind of feeling a little awkward.

And then you walked past, Natalie said hi to you and said how much of a fan she was of yours. And you were so like warm and nice and like oh god kind and like that was our takeaway when we stopped talking to you and ellen and i turned to us and it's like she's just like a kind person like we knew that off the bat like just like your energy was like really welcoming in an environment especially in la it's like a lot of people, like you get a little awkward and then you get standoffish, right? But anyway, so thanks for being so nice. Yeah, of course. So glad you are here.

You have such like a fascinating story. Yeah, it's pretty different. I've done some different things. I've done some different things. You have done some different things. So I was telling, I was at this other party and people were asking like, oh, who you got coming up on your show? I said, oh, Chloe Cherry.

And they're like, oh my God, I'm such a big fan. And then out of nowhere, she goes, oh, well, you got to ask her about her background because I heard that she was Amish. And I said, I was, oh, well, you got to ask her about her background because I heard that she was Amish. And I said, I don't know if she's Amish. And then she looked up this article and then this article out of nowhere mentioned that. That would be funny though. Yeah, so you're not Amish.

No, I never have been. But I am from Lancaster, Pennsylvania, which is the Amish capital of the world. Like Weird Al Yankovic made a song about it called Amish Paradise. Oh, that's where it comes from. Yeah, yeah. It's about Lancaster, Pennsylvania, which is the Amish capital of the world. Weird Al Yankovich made a song about it called Amish Paradise. Oh, that's where it comes from. Yeah, it's about Lancaster. So I can see where that detail could get messed up. But I wasn't Amish. I just lived next to them.

Next to Amish people. Yeah, it's kind of like how here we live amongst celebrities. And they're just around. It's sort of the same thing it's more normal like well the Amish people there's more

your average folk in LA with mixed in with celebrities yeah yeah yeah and where you're from where I'm from it's like Amish people mixed

not even mixed in though they're actually very separate because that's their culture is being separate from normal culture like they live like it's the 1800s and you just watch them live

like I've never spoken to an Amish person ever because live like it's the 1800s and you just watch them live. I've never spoken to an Amish person. Ever. No, because it's against their religion and their culture to speak to a normal person like me. So you don't really interact with them other than buying their goods. I'm glad we could clear this up. She had this whole idea that, you know how Amish people go on this retreat for a couple years like that's what you did and never came back I'm like I don't think so but she's like you have to ask and I'm like I I promise I will get some clarity it would be so funny uh if it's

only her worrying but I could see how people might read that wrong yeah because it would be really hilarious like um if I was Amish that would be really hilarious. Like, if I was Amish, that would be really hilarious. But no, I wasn't. But I just was around Amish people. You know, also a lot, not a ton of them leave the Amish community. Yeah. The actual Amish people, they really don't leave it because you have to think that life is so different from normal life.

And like, what happens is like, you would be kind of like exiled from the community and like that's really hard for a person so most Amish people don't actually leave the community at all and they don't really like interact so it's like it's weird I where I'm from like we could see Amish people living but like the way that we lived was just like any other normal part of America okay yeah thanks for clearing thanks for clearing it up. But you did, when you were 18, basically packed up shop and moved out to LA.

Yeah, yeah. I was really, really, really, really tired of it. I was one of those, you know, like, gotta get out of this town kind of people. Like, I definitely did it. Do you visit?, do you visit?

Do you go home? Yeah, I visit sometimes. I don't miss it at all. Like, the last time I was home was for this past Christmas. And, like, it's so just dreary, you know? Like, just so many things that are just, it's just not good. It's not really meant for humans, like, for humans to thrive in the way that I feel like Southern California is. And it's just so dry and boring.

And it's so weird to go from such a colorful world like Los Angeles to there. It's so weird. Isn't it crazy though how like I think that's like, technology involves and people kind of the world expands. I think we take for granted that just, like, there's different people who we can be compatible with in life. There's also, like, different environments and climates that are more suited for our personalities. Like, obviously, it's, like, not for you. I'm from Waukesha, Wisconsin. Okay.

So, like, same very small town, suburban. Like, Waukesha's, like, not that small, but, like, it's like not for you i'm from walkershaw wisconsin okay so like same very small town suburban like walkershaw's like not that small but like it's wisconsin yeah and i like going home i like my family wisconsin pride i like all the sports teams but like once i left and i didn't leave until i was 30 but it was like oh this place like i don't think i should be staying here for extended periods of time that i mean at least i just don't like the mindset of the people and it's just different now it's just totally different and i feel like i'm somebody who's meant to be in la student loans are the worst uh i paid off my student loans a year and a half ago. Damn. And sometimes we're hit with shitty rates.

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to redeem 20% off your first month of Seed's daily symbiotic. That's seed.com slash V-I-A-L-L and use code V-I-A-L-L. Obviously, a lot of people know you had a time in the adult film industry. Yeah, I did. And that was out here. So basically, the main company, the companies that you'd think of in adult film, they all exist in Los Angeles. But you can also do it in, it also exists in Miami. And that was where I first went.

And it's, yeah, it's wild. What's really interesting, and I've seen some of your other interviews, there's as much shame and judgment as there is curiosity when it comes to the adult film industry people are really crazy curious really curious equal and usually it's the same person who's judgmental and curious and i think a lot of people from the from the judgmental side think if anyone who got into the adult film industry it was what happened or like how like why did you have to do this as if you were like forced into it but what I took from you is like this was something that you always yeah wanted to do it was a dream of yours that you wanted to do and I'm like so when you got into it did you do through like the research like is that why you chose Miami over LA yeah well because at the time

um I basically had to figure out like what niche I could fit in that would make me like popular because again it's not like it's not people think it's like easy it's really not like you really have to like it's just like ever any other industry where you actually have to make the right moves to get somewhere and um I guess Miami was really popular for like all the amateur stuff that you would see, like what's called like professional amateur. And it's like the most popular videos on the tube sites. It's this concept of it looks like it's like an amateur video of just like real people, but actually it's all like paid professional actors. And that stuff was really popular in Miami at the time.

So I was, it was like the most popular thing on the tube sites was like these videos that are like, they're always like the step-sibling ones, like those that was just so popular and everyone thought they were real. And those videos I knew were like doing the best and they were the ones that I could be cast in. So I was in Miami doing those at first, but then I went out to LA because there's like way more, you know, all the big major companies that you think of are out in LA. I'm curious, like, especially at the beginning of your career, when you're less established and presumably you have like a little bit less power, like, how did you navigate kind of holding your ground and also how often did that come up because

I imagine in that industry you know it's you're encountering things that are atypical and so like when you were thinking about your boundaries and the way that you expected to be treated like what was that thought process like um honestly I just people, the people in adult film, like I always had, I never had like a bad experience at all. Like everyone was like really respectful. And I think it's honestly just kind of like demanding the respect and just kind of like going on job and like we're really doing something professional here was always what helps me you know like get hired at all and like that's really like what people want you to do in that business is actually show up very professionally and there's you know different things that like you should do in that line of work and yeah you definitely do need to

like keep your boundaries of things but people are very used to that in that business that people have different boundaries some people have like very interesting boundaries like there's some people that like they won't kiss anybody in the movies because they like have a significant other outside of the business and people do like really complicated boundaries and things like that and really yeah is that like a like a uh how do they find out that it's sad or like when you're is it like you know how sometimes you go to the doctor and they give you a questionnaire of like things that like what are you allergic to is it kind of like what are you so what are your non-negotiables so before we would shoot a scene you would get a list of paper that would list like

about every sex act and like every like even like like kinky sex act, like hair pulling, slapping, all that stuff. And you would mark on that sheet if you're okay with it or not. And that's how it's called a consent checklist. And that's what you have to do before a scene. So that way going into the scene, people know like, I'm not okay with my hair being pulled. Don't spit on me. Whatever these things are that you don't want to do, you go through with a list before and you review it with the director. You go through. It's a consent checklist that you just have to do.

Do you know, have they always done that? Or is that something they've... Since I've been in the business, and it's gotten even more and more popular as the years have gone on. That's nice to know that they is that something they've since i've been in the business and it's gotten even more and more popular as the years have gone on it's nice to know that they do that yeah i know it's something that they legally have to do and especially like mostly all the companies do them like some of them have like really really long ones some of them will really go into stuff like that they all have these like consent checklists to make sure people are consenting other than like people uh like the the kind of professional aspect that you mentioned what are what's some other big misconceptions that you think from like what you've heard in terms of the judgment people have the industry to what's reality just this idea that people could

even really do it like this idea that people think that, oh yeah, like I would never do adult film. Like, okay, adult film would never hire you. Like you couldn't, you don't even, it's not a fucking option. Like it is so hard to make it an adult film. It is so difficult. And all the people that I like worked with, that I started with,

all those other like young people that I started with, like those other young people that I started with, they've worked so hard to make a name for themselves. And so many of them just didn't make it because they just could not perform as well as people wanted to. That's a great point. It's like someone walking up to a professional baseball player and be like, I would never do that. Yeah, that's literally what it is.

It's just kind of like, okay, no one wants you to do this. You're not attractive enough. You can't fuck well enough. Like most people aren't that sexually enticing. Like even me, like there's, even I wasn't the most sexually enticing person. There was still people way better than I was. They could perform way crazier sex acts and just could perform more. So that's the key word, perform. Yeah. It's a performance. Exactly.

Performance anxiety to show up, to deliver, to like, and do it the same way on set that you did like rehearsal or in your mind or how you wanted to do all those things. And that's something, it's really, really hard for people. And it's why a lot of people get nowhere with it. Because how do you even perform in sex? A lot of people don't even comprehend how you can do sex in a performance manner, not in a feeling good manner. You're not doing actions to feel good. You're doing actions to look good, to look a certain way.

And it's kind of a lot to wrap your mind around. I feel like most couples who like make sex tapes, like when they watch it back, there might be moments where like, oh, we look hot. But there's a lot of like, let's just delete that. Yeah. Like we don't, oh, like we were not supposed to. That's a weird angle. Yeah.

And that's like the thing about porn. It's nothing like having real sex. You're just getting into certain positions and angles and things to make it look really cool on camera. That's it. So in your desire, like the passion that you've always, something you're always interested, where did that come from? I don't really. What fascinated you about the industry?

I don't really know, but I think what a lot of it had to do with where I'm from, Amish place, people were very religious and it was like very normalized where I was from to like not have sex until marriage. And like people just hated sex and like thought that like nobody had sex, like nobody casually had sex, like nobody did anything at all. had sex, like nobody casually had sex, like nobody did anything at all. And it really like fucked with my brain because I was like, I get this sense that sex is amazing, that we all really like to have it. And I think that I started watching a lot of porn when I was younger because of the fact that I wanted to see a world where people actually like to have sex,

would actually just admit like sex feels good and we want to do it like as long as it's done safely it's fine that there's just no human being actually wants to like save themselves from marriage and like only have sex with one person their whole life but like people actually acted like that was a thing it always messed with my head and i feel like maybe i wouldn't have been as into sex if people weren't so like anti-sex you know and like that's like what we were taught in school was like abstinence is key and like all this weird stuff that like just really like I just had these weird ideas about sex I swear if you tell somebody you can never do it and never have it it just like messes with them yeah that makes sense was your family

like supportive of you getting the adult film? Or was it a mixed bag? really like working in it and that I was really like supporting myself and I was happy then they were like okay okay so it took but it took a while for them to like any and like did you experience any like moments where like you felt some of that judgment or shame from people yeah they were like really really mean at first like really mean like you think society is mean to sex workers? Like sometimes their own family is way worse. And it took a while for them to really realize like what they were doing and that they were participating in whore phobia, which is just basically because of the fact that somebody is a sex worker

that you can like treat them poorly and that they deserve less. Elaborate more on horophobia. I've never heard that term. Horophobia is just this, it's kind of like homophobia in the way that you're just literally anti, you're against someone for being this thing, which is a sex worker. Or I saw another, on Call Her Daddy,

I think you mentioned some of the like judgment or stigma was the fact that you're an adult film star everyone assumed that you're going to want to sleep with their boyfriend or something like that like you must be promiscuous because you do this yeah as an art form or it's your job yeah exactly and exactly. And I just, I don't know if people will ever comprehend that it really just was my job. Like I always say like a job is just about what kind of day you can get through. And like that was way more doable of a job than working at a restaurant or, you know, being a waitress or like working some nine to five. Like I literally, my brain couldn't handle those. Like I can't do those things. Like I can't deal with working at a restaurant.

Like I can't deal with like doing so many jobs. I just could, my brain couldn't deal with, like I couldn't get through the day. And adult film, I totally could. Like I love my days. I have crazy sex with somebody who's like also tested and good at sex and like that's it so it was weird to me that people would think that that meant that I was just like so horny that like I chose my job just because I was so horny

and like be trusted yeah and then it's like I just can't possibly be around like anybody and like it was weird like I would have like my friends from my hometown like her boyfriend would be like don't hang out with Chloe anymore because she's a whore like she in thinking I'm gonna to turn her into something or whatever. But it never makes any sense because that same boyfriend dude is going to go then look up my porn and he really likes that I do this work but somehow needs to be horrible about it.

And it's just so fucking confusing to me. It's just like, what the fuck do people want like do you want porn to exist or no because you it's just this weird thing and sometimes I feel like people that really restrict themselves in life they end up just being like so just jealous of people that don't like they just can't bear to see somebody that's, like, not restricting themselves in life. Yeah, and you come across as someone who's so, like, sure of themselves and confident. Have you always been that way?

I guess so, honestly. Yeah. Yeah, I kind of have been my whole life. Good for you. Where do you think that comes from? Because that's something I think a lot of people would be envious of. From being a Virgo. I'm just kidding virgo i'm just kidding i have no idea i have no idea um i think it's like

i have like a loving family and like i um just i don't know i feel like i just really try to believe in myself because like what else is there to do you know with someone who like being in the adult film industry and having to face judgment and and cruel things that people said do you see your are do you just remove those people for your life are you kind of forgive but not forget how do you handle people if they like actually if you come at me with this like horribleness but then if you later also come at me with an actual apology then i'll forgive you but i'm not going to forgive somebody that doesn't think that they have to apologize yeah um and there's been plenty of people that i just will never ever speak to again but they're not like doing well or anything so it's not like

i want to speak to them what advice would you have for anyone who ever felt like, whether it was from their family or friends, where they felt exiled or shamed for doing what they believed that they wanted to do? I would say just keep going through it because at the end of the day, once all those people die and it's just you left, you'll have to be happy with the life that you live because they'll just be dead and gone and nothing that they ever said or thought mattered. And you have to be happy with your own life that you lived.

So you have to really just take your life into your own hands and those people don't control it because you will find new people the more you follow what you feel your true path is. You will find new close people. You can find a new family. You can find a new anything. You can find people that will accept you in this world. And just like, it's not true acceptance if somebody can't allow you to do whatever it is that you want to do in this life for whatever it is about them. And just please, please, please never put anybody else's wants or needs before yours because those people will just die and then it'll just be you and you'll have to be happy with your life because you can't go back. That's a great answer.

Great. Thanks for coming, everyone. That was a lovely episode. That was amazing. Good TED Talk. Let's get into euphoria also bravo thank you your story's amazing even of how you got onto that show yeah thank you so you the director dm'd you yeah um well he had like a casting director dm me first he like followed me and I was like, ooh, who is this Sam Levinson character? And then he had like a casting director DM me and I was like, this is unreal. Yeah. I'm glad that you know that it's, it was through Instagram. Yeah. He had like a casting director DM me and

I was like, this feels unreal. Cause you know how there's so many phishing scams? Oh, yes. People being like, oh, we want you to come and be on Vogue magazine. Just these random scams that people will send out. Yeah, how did you suss it out? At first, I actually turned it down. At first, I was like, I don't believe this. At first, I was like, I don't believe this.

And they were like are you sure the director really wants you to audition and I was like okay it can't hurt me to send a tape into these people like what's the worst thing that'll happen like these random people have a tape of me like saying lines you know who cares so I sent it in and then they started talking back and I was like wait holy shit this is actual casting people and because it just felt so unreal you know what I mean to have like that reach out to you it just felt so like what like I it just something I had never heard of before did you have to come in and audition more or do any like chem tests or anything like that yeah yeah then I had to do like an in-person audition and do like camera tests and all that stuff.

And wardrobe tests, everything. Like at what moment did it actually feel real? Never. It felt real probably once I like got on set and actually started doing it. That is crazy. set and actually started doing it. That is crazy. You were obviously a big part

of the end of season two. That whole scene where we think Ash died. We don't know for sure. You mentioned you were a fan of season one. And then you got casted in and kind of surreal. You're part

of it. And then you're part of it and then you're part of this very dramatic final scene that i guess is left in a cliffhanger like when you're watching it's just like oh ash ash dies but then you're like well we love it like we don't want him to die so i think i feel like a lot of fans were trying to almost convince themselves maybe he's not dead more of the love yeah they had for the character as now someone who's part of the cast do you did are you do you still find yourself being a fan and invested in the story or now that you're on the show is it just more of a job and it's less you're less of a fan i honestly like i i feel like i still a fan, but it feels like crazy to be like, like, it's so hard to not be a fan of that show.

Yeah. It's impossible to not be a fan of it. So I feel like I am honestly still a huge fan, like even of everybody. Like I'm a huge fan of the makeup artists, all the actors, all the crew members. Everybody's so good. So is Ash. What do you think? Do you think Ash?

I think he's... I feel like he couldn't have survived that, right? That was like 18 bullets. Did they... I don't remember because I was like, oh, maybe they shot him in the kneecap or something. He's just like in a wheelchair next to you. I don't remember because I was like, oh, maybe they shot him in the kneecap or something. He's just like in a wheelchair next to you. I don't know.

It was so, I was like, oh, why did you? I really love that character. I love that character too, yeah. But I also heard that it got changed last minute. Like it was maybe supposed to be Fez. So I was wondering if there were any of your scenes or anything else where it was a last minute switch. It was, those few days were so confusing because they would call me to set and just like be like, OK, where they would they were just all over the place.

Because I think that it was kind of decided last minute. Like it was like I think they were kind of like not sure what they wanted to do with the ending. was like i think they were kind of like not sure what they wanted to do with the ending and i felt like as a viewer i want no one to die but like as a filmmaker i know someone needed to die yeah i know that someone did need to die and that that was like a huge like part of the action it was you know really intense well we'll we'll see where it goes you uh you were you ad-libbed some of the more iconic lines yeah um in the show uh do you know uh do you and your son fuck people together also you're probably eating that ginger's ass yeah um iconic lines uh what like did you just say them or was was sam just asking you to say i just

like embrace the scene and kind of go with it like so we would do the scenes and then he'd be like okay just say whatever you like we would do the take and like i for some reason as an actor i like struggle so hard with like saying things like wording things in a way that doesn't sound like how I would actually say it and um so he would always wanted to see a take of me saying just whatever I want sometimes I would include like some of the lines for the plot point but he always liked that because it would just come out like so natural and I can my brain for some reason just has so much in there for like I'm just so imaginative when it comes to a scene like I love to just imagine myself as something else like this I don't know it's like just I like to just imagine myself as being somebody else and just like

getting out of just being something different from me and like just being in this completely different headspace of this character just pretending like just being in this completely different headspace of this character just pretending that i'm in this completely different situation that i'm not in i really like doing that and then i can kind of just keep going in it and like keep just riffing on it and just keep like improvving were there other lines that you remember saying that you're like i hope this makes it oh there is this one where i um when zendaya and i were in the car where i say to her i say we're like super drugged out and i say have you ever seen that movie where those two people go out on a boat and they go scuba diving then the boat leaves them and they're just trapped to be eaten by sharks

and then she's like oh yeah I've seen that one and it was just like such a like druggy conversation of like just like trying to be deep because you're on drugs and you're, like, feeling some kind of way and they're just, like, talking to each other and you're all like, oh, yeah, for sure. Like, it just sounded like such a drug addict conversation. And that's something, like, you've talked about, like, you've never done any of that stuff. No, I haven't.

How did you prepare for that character? I honestly just did some interesting role research. I was kind of like trying to find people while I was doing it. And before I was doing it, I was kind of trying to find people around me that were like, not necessarily even heroin addicts, but drug addicts of any kind, because I just needed to find, like just to see what that was like and just to see like the way that it changes your brain. And I tried to like every person that I could spend some time with.

And it was kind of a weird thing to do, but to be like purposely trying to spend time with people to get them to still, like, learn about their lives. And it was really fun to do, though, because I got to just, I was, like, I just got to, like, really, like, you don't want to hang out with somebody that, like, is on heroin or something. But it was, like, fun to, like, hang out with people that, like, used to be on heroin or were kind of, like, fucked up. Like, I don't know. I kind of liked it. Were you able to, like, almost, like, kind of empathize and, like, just learn their stories a little bit too? Yeah.

And it really taught me that, I don't know, I just feel like when it comes to that stuff, it's, like, perspective is key. when it comes to that stuff, it's like perspective is key. Like if you could see their life from their perspective, you would see why they could. Yeah. I mean, if you take the time to sit down and talk to any of the homeless people in LA, you know,

they have all different types of stories. Totally. And some of which you just, you really feel for, for their situation. A lot of tough situations. And like, you know, that's a whole other conversation with the homeless epidemic. But they don't become homeless because they're drug addicts. They sometimes turn to drugs for safety in a community where they get, a lot of people turn homeless because they are kicked out you know maybe their parents aren't accepting of like there's a strong lgbtq a homeless population

because they get exiled from their homes they turn to drugs because like it's like part of like hey if you want to fit in and for protection it's kind of a sad crazy crazy story yeah I totally agree. It really is. I think that drugs are just something that also are just, to some people, it's normal. Some people, that's just what they're surrounded by is a bunch of drugs. So if you're kind of raised around that, you're going to just think that's normal. you're gonna just think that's normal we're gonna play some i have some rapid fire questions for the fans okay cool uh it's like euphoria they're fun easy questions uh but it's kind of like what who who in the cast would you want etc etc like first question like being a fan of the show who were you most excited to meet and like like and did you have a crush on fan of the show, who were you most excited to meet? And did you have a crush on any of the cast as like a fan of the show? No. Well, actually, I don't really feel like I had a crush on it.

They're all so beautiful, all of them. I can't even decide who was most exciting. Probably Zendaya, honestly, just because I've really looked up to her for like a long time and she's really great who was the funniest person on set Angus I'd say because Angus is like funny without even trying like Angus is just funny like you can't even help it there would be so many times where i would just be laughing like no one else was laughing but i would just be laughing because angus would just be saying something because we worked together a lot so we were constantly like in the same room and he was really funny and so was jovan ashtray they're both really funny and they're like a really funny pair yeah i think i'm

like that's part of like with Ash dying, if he is dead. I'm really, that bond. Like that was like that bond they had. Because like weirdly enough, you have like that whole cast are very complicated characters, right? And of all the characters, I felt like their bond was the most wholesome. Like it was the most purest of relationships. I don't know. So I'm sad that that's going to go.

Who, if anyone, was most like their character? I would honestly say maybe Angus again because he really does, like, talk like that. It is so great. I was in Vegas last weekend and he walked past me with some friends and he had, like, a very fashionable scarf on his head. People see him out so often. It is like all the time people are telling me,

oh, I saw Angus the other day. Oh, I saw Angus. I'm like, damn. But he also had a scarf covered his head because he clearly was trying to avoid being a bob. So I don't know. Who would you describe as your work husband or spouse? Like, did you bond with anyone?

Either Alex French, my makeup artist, or Tyler Chase, who played my boyfriend. He played Custer. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I liked him. Okay. Who would you want to marry your kid, your future kid, if you had a kid? Who would I want? Yeah, like, who would you set up?

Definitely Maude Apatow. She's like very, she's just like a cat person and she's really sweet. I would want her. Who gave off the worst first impression, but you grew to like, be like, oh, okay. I can't even think of anybody everyone's no one really nobody really gave off a bad first impression really um i can't think of anything just like a bunch of nice likable people yeah everybody was really nice because i remember the first uh table read we did everybody like sydney jacob like all of them were so nice to me,

like being the new cast member. And I was like, wow, you guys are so great. That's great. I mean, and maybe it's just like PTSD from high school because I feel like we all, like when we go into a new environment, we're all very like have a fear of like not being welcomed. Yeah. But it's something that I feel like people don't really do that anymore.

Like as adults, at least, it's just not productive. Yeah. And I think maybe it would be PTSD from like high school, middle school. Because I always like anytime I walk in a new environment, there's always a sense of like, I hope they like me. You know, there's always that fear a little bit. Like, I don't know. Maybe it's just in your head a little bit. Yeah, I feel that.

I feel that. So you watched the ultimatum transitioning. Yes. Yeah. yes yeah what like what was your biggest takeaway and what part of any of those relationships did you find most relatable to a relationship that you might have had none of them none of them they were all really weird they were all just like i want kids and i've never been in that situation um uh who did i relate to um maybe no one kind of none of them because they all were in this like i want kids or i want like something long term like they were just doing stuff that i just don't have you been someone who's always kind of like like are you

single now no yes yeah I'm single yeah I'm like single but dating dating around yeah yeah yeah but does they have someone like in mind that you're vibing with like 10 people okay so now you're vibing with 10 people but are you are like, but like, I think that's awesome. But I just feel like we were talking about this earlier. I'm like, I, and then maybe it was just my upbringing or whatever, but I, I didn't have that type of self-confidence and clarity about what I wanted at an early age. I was definitely more of the, I think this is what I'm supposed to do. So this is what I'm supposed to do so this is what I'm going to do mentality and I did focus a lot of my energy way too much in my early life on relationships

and like where does that come from that kind of independence that you seem to have and like how does that relate to like what you want for yourself love life going forward I think it just means right now I like to just see like a bunch of different people so that way like nobody really I don't like need too much from one person and that way I feel like I can just successfully like see people and then one eventually like you know I know that eventually I'm just gonna want to see one of them and it's just how to casually do it I've kind of always liked to just keep my options open I think it's the best way to date I think it's the best way for me to be a good partner is to have other partners and like not they're necessarily my partners like just to have like other people in my life

unless I was like unless somebody actually verbalized to me that they wanted to just be with me, I'm not going to do it until you actually, like, verbalize that to me. Have you ever, like, tried to define a relationship with someone else? No. Never? Well, no. I don't think so. I don't know.

Maybe it's just, I'm just kind of like all over the place. Yeah. I just feel, it feels better for me to like have all those options. And like, if I want to spend time with somebody, it's not like I only have one person and then they're not available. So I like can't do anything. And it's just, I I don't know it's just been a lot better for me but like I feel like there is one of them that I really like more than the other ones but it's hard because I already have these like you know it's still a friendship that I have formed with these people so yeah well and you're still really young right and i just feel like i think that watching that show to me was a an example of like why people shouldn't focus so much energy

in relationships so early on yeah and and i mean relationships are great but, but like it was so clear just how much they invested and what it took away from their own independence. Totally. And I think it just, I don't know, I feel like when you're that young or like even as just my age, like I don't feel like I know yet exactly what I want. And what I've been dating multiple people has been the best thing for me to figure out what I want and don't want from people. And I feel like even on that show watching them, I can tell that they have no idea what they want from another person. Like that guy who was freaking out at his girlfriend, like, oh, I feel like you never listened to me. That was the issue you, I feel like at least I think

that there, you should get to a point at dating where that's not even an issue. Like you would never accept anybody into your life for any reason that like doesn't listen to you or like doesn't, you know? I know it's kind of, kind of crazy that way, but I feel like so many people do, right? In the relationships, it's like you, you you go out you have some sort of like instant chemistry you have a good night and it's just like well i should be in a relationship because i don't want i'm my i don't want people to ask me why i'm single are you single yeah and then they decide to like have a partner and then they'll try to make their partner fit their mold rather than finding the person who's just already

like more compatible or fits their mold. And then yeah, you'll have issues you have to work on. Everyone does. But all these couples, it seemed like they were like they had some compatibility and then really just tried to force it. Yeah. And I feel like that's what so many people, they just want. I remember my mom used to always say this, that people just want to be in a relationship just to say they're in a relationship. People are just so afraid of being alone for some reason. And I don't really get it.

It seems like it's painful. But I think I'm a weird person. I found out other ways to like have sex and I feel like that's a lot big reason as to why these people end up in these shitty relationships like I know that like like yeah like I know that I feel like I very like obviously can I know I can be like casual with sex so I don't need to be in a relationship to be having sex. So like, I don't see myself ever being in a relationship that's so like, that's where they want me to change myself. And so many people are, it's just because people just don't want to say that they're single. And I think that being able to just say you're single is so much more powerful than like,

oh, I'm in some dumb, embarrassing relationship where we fight all the time. Because I think sometimes people get confused too of like, if you're fighting with someone or if it's like you're trying to work it so hard and you're constantly like blowing up at each other, they're like, oh, it's passion. It's love. And it's like, sometimes like the truest form of love is like when it's just like Nick saying, like it's normal and it's simple and it feels good. And like I had a teacher like in high school because I went to an all-girls school and they like came in and talked to us about like relationships and marriage.

And she was like, I had this super long relationship with a boyfriend and I stuck with him because it was like that and it was fireworks and I was like fighting so hard. And my husband now, it's the most normal day-to-day relationship and I'm so much happier than I was but the one I was like screaming at and also the clothes point think of how many people like will stay and shit solely because they're afraid of being single just terrified of the idea of not having someone to do whatever the go the fucking flea market with or you know I got to be a little

alone in the holidays it's like so what like there's so many benefits to independence so many benefits oh my god i yeah i really like it and i think it's why i've been like just keeping my distance from like people that i've been you know just casually dating i've been kind of, you know, just casually dating, I've been kind of just, you know, not getting too close because I like the independence of being single. And I like the fact that like, dude, during the holidays, I just choose that I want to go see my family. And that's what I'm going to go do. I'm not going to like make some sacrifice, like miss out on seeing my family once a year to go to see somebody else's or like

dude i had so much more done when i'm single and like i feel like when i'm in a relationship there's always some that means that there's someone that's gonna like call me and like have situations no when you're talking i was thinking about and like at the time it was happening like it felt like the right thing to do but i've spent some weird fucking christmases in places that like you know with girlfriends families right yeah at the time i was like i'm going to my girlfriend's family and now it's just like why did i spend christmas in this place yeah why did i miss my family and i was it was like 25 at the time and you know i'm adult and i remember you know like whatever but it's just like we had been dating for six months and all of a sudden like she's like well aren't we gonna

spend Christmas each other and I'm like yeah I guess and it was always well we're in love and so we should do this and now you break up and it doesn't work out you're like why the fuck did I not do that or why did I do that part of the reason why it can sometimes not work out is because of the fact that you're like, I don't understand why so many people think that you have to spend like every waking moment together because that's why it doesn't work out because there's not a single person on this planet you can spend every waking moment on. It's not a human being brain works. You're not supposed to be together that much that's why it doesn't work there's no shows they don't watch not together it's god you have to just completely be your own person and then they like they will they will and then some people will force themselves to like

it's like it's like i like i like watching sports and natalie like there's some sports she likes to watch so it's like if you want to watch with me great if not also great yeah it's like there's some sports she likes to watch. So it's like, if you want to watch with me, great. If not, also great. It's like there's no obligation. I used to have girlfriends who were like, I'll watch it with you. I'll do it. And I'm like, you're fucking miserable. You don't need to do that.

But it would be like, no, but we do it together. Honestly, I really like this situation I have going on right now with this guy. We hang out like twice a week and then we just don't talk in between then. And we don't live together so good. I can't deal with anything more because I just I want to like do other stuff. Like I just don't want to just hang out with just one person all the time. I really like him a lot. And I love spending time with him.

He makes me so happy. But then I just need to go and do my own thing. And he needs the same thing. And it works. Is that the guy I had the pleasure of meeting? Yeah. Actually, wow. You seem like a really nice guy.

Yeah, that guy. He's my favorite. Yeah. Good looking? Yeah. Yeah. Tall? Yes, definitely.

Yeah. Charming guy. But yeah. And people always talk about how relationships take sacrifice right and like but i think people in relationships constantly minimize it right because like otherwise to your point they take work so don't don't disrespect what it takes to be in a relationship when you're ready yeah because like even the best ones you have to like do some shit that you might not feel like doing.

And it's only worth doing someone you really want to be with, not someone who like you just want to call your boyfriend. Yeah, exactly. And that's like, that's why I've liked just really dating because I was in this like three-year like very like just very, this relationship where I was like very loyal and I was like just really trying to be a good girlfriend. And then we ended up breaking up and I was like, I just really need to find what's actually good for me. So I tried dating like a lot of different people and like just really just trying out like whoever I felt anything towards. And it's been really good. And yeah, it's been really nice. And then it's been really nice and then it's made it so now when i like find this guy that i like like i know that i actually like him it's not like he's just the only option i've had like i've have the option for so many other people but i actually

choose him and that's what i think is a good feeling yeah it's a lot better of a feeling that like instead of just oh you're just the first person that i can call my boyfriend are you are you naturally a patient person because like you're describing patients oh um yeah i guess so um i mean i try to be just with this at least i want something that's actually like real and actually gonna be like actually good for my life so badly that I just am totally willing to wait for this. It feels good to just take it really slow and casually because I feel like there's at least... It's better that than fighting.

We never fight. Everything's perfect because we're not holding so many know, holding so many expectations for each other. That's great. What is, what does success mean to you? Basically. And what's your like, when you like. to do when I'm just really like uh seen as just like like I just I mean just seen as like a good actor is really like what I would be see as success just that the world sees me as a good actor and they want to see me in things what's your dream role um my dream role I would love to do some kind of like biopic of like some kind of criminal.

I think I would do that really well. Or I would play like to play like I'd love to play like a musician or like a pop star or something like that would be really fun. And I want to play something that's like really like outside of myself or like somebody like super religious and super weird or like, you know, just, um, someone that's like, like some church person would be really interesting because it'd be really opposite of me. How, uh, how do you want to be remembered? I want to be remembered for coming across people's screens and making them laugh and cry and smile and everything in between.

That's a great answer. You talked about like having like a roster for people you're dating and not picking one. You've also mentioned that you had sugar daddies at one point. Did you have a roster of them as well or was it one at a time? I used to. So when I was younger, I don't have any sugar daddies anymore. I do still talk to some of those sugar daddies as friends.

But we're just friends now. But I used to have a bunch of them. And it was funny. I used to just have so many of them. Having a sugar daddy is kind of like dating, except you're dating for different reasons because they, again, are providing something for you. So you're dating based off of literally what they're going to provide for you, which I

feel like a lot of people do in normal dating. But at least with sugar daddies, it's only rich guys that want to spend their money on you. Yeah, I used to have like a bunch of different ones that I would talk to and stuff. And I would always choose sugar daddies. I always would choose someone who was like funny, somebody who was going to like, you know, if even if you're going to be my sugar daddy, I still want you to like make me laugh. Like I would still choose them like that. So it kind of was a little bit similar to dating.

Like they weren't guys that I actually wanted to date, but like they were, you know, at least I would just have like they had to, you know, like they were still had to like be giving enough to want them in my life. And yeah, they were always like really, really nice guys, very respectful, sometimes way nicer than guys that I would just be regular dating. Like they were very respectful. And it's also just such a fascinating connection to me, like a sugar daddy, because I know that I'll never have that relationship again and that it was like something so special that like required so much trust and like so much. It just required so much to build to that relationship. And even though it's not the same anymore, we still did like really get to know each other actually. Got to assume that there's also like an empowering feeling towards it. Yeah, definitely. Yeah. Cause it was very empowering that like people, and I guess I liked it cause it was people that were just kind of like, I want to be with you. So therefore I'll just like, what do you want? You know what I mean? For to like, what do you need for it?

Just very like straightforward. And I guess it was just people that wanted to please themselves, like people that they really wanted for themselves to experience pleasure. And that's like a really good, healthy thing. But for you to also understand that like it's a two way street that that person needs to also be getting something good out of it. And like, yeah, it was, there was like a lot of different personalities in there, but they were very good. Yeah, because when you were talking about it, we talk about like setting boundaries all the time in relationships.

And people are really bad at it. Yeah. We don't like to set, and we don't enforce them. But in a sugary situation, the way you're describing it, it's like, it's all about like, what are the boundaries? What are the do's and what are the don't like to set, and we don't enforce them. But in a sugary situation, the way you're describing it, it's like, it's all about like, what are the boundaries? What are the do's and what are the don'ts? So you probably got very good at that. Yeah, I did.

And very comfortable in your regular relationships. Totally. Your actual relationships. Yeah. How about, like to say it, but part of it is just like the fear of saying it or fear of, I don't want you to do this, or should I do that? do that so many people we talk to it's like is it okay to say that should i say that is it mean i don't want to sound like yeah no and i feel like the opposite like i i mean at least the sugar daddies i would always tell them anything ever that i ever needed from

anything and like they would usually like they would get to know me really well and they knew like I've been to all the nicest spots in LA and like New York and stuff just because of them and like because that's where they always wanted to take me and um yeah it definitely like taught me how to it taught me basically that like also um having a sugar daddy taught me a level of acceptance of treatment of like, I will never again accept a guy that like, I don't know, that like thinks that just like doesn't like want to at least try to take care of me in some way and doesn't try to like be this like, you know, actually be chivalrous in some way. Like why try to like be this like um you know actually be chivalrous in some way like why even accept that when i know it's out there there's people that really want

to treat me really well it kind of taught me like the standard of how i wanted to be treated that's great how did you end a sugar daddy situation uh usually just by like i'm too busy now and they would get like really upset but usually just like i'm too busy now. And they would get like really upset, but usually just like, I'm too busy. Just kind of casual. Yeah. Usually just I can't anymore. And then they'll still sometimes text me like,

oh, I hope you're doing well. Because like they really were. It was just like a friendship, like almost like a work friendship that you build basically. Chloe, this has been a ton of fun. Yes. Up next is our mediation call with our couple.

We're going to say goodbye to Chloe. Yes. Thank you for having me. You're an absolute delight to talk to. You're very, like, just a joy to talk to. Awesome.

Thank you so much. Thanks for being so wonderfully nice at that party. Oh, yeah. You were great. Yeah, thank you for having me. I wish you nothing but success in everything you're doing.

And I can't wait to you meet all those dreams. I feel like you're going to do big things. I most definitely hope so. I feel like when you say that you're trying to be humble

because I see that like I definitely know. I feel like she's already doing big things. Right. Well, that's what I'm yeah, obviously.

But like I am only saying this from a place of like she clearly has like big plans for herself and I think that's amazing how like you've made it to where you are and you're still shooting for the stars.

Absolutely. Thank you. I wish you nothing but the best. Thank you. I'm a big fan over here. Thank you. On to our mediation call. How's it going, guys? Good.

Hi. What are your names? Hi, I'm Sarah. I'm Matt. Hey, Matt and Sarah. All right. How old are your names? I'm Sarah. I'm Matt. Hey Matt and Sarah. All right. Who, how old are you guys? We're 26. Both 26 and you're dating boyfriend and girlfriend. Yeah. How long have you been together? About three years. Three years. All right. Who wants to start? I'm going to guess Sarah. Yeah, she can start. So basically I wrote in because we have had this problem. We moved in together about three or four months ago.

And basically he works all the time. He works like 12, 13 hour days. I am in school still. And I also nanny part-time after school. When I get home at night, I always kind of have a lot of energy and he's exhausted and takes a lot of naps and sleeps a lot. And on the weekends, we'll often just stay in and hang out. But for me, that can be hard and I can get really antsy and I don't really know what to do about it because I feel like I'm bothering him not bothering him but I feel like he's like he deserves to be

tired and he's worked really hard and I don't feel like I've done the same amount of work so it's not always fair for me to get on him about it even though I am kind of introverted if I don't do things on the weekend I can get really in my head. And he obviously notices and he tries to do things with me or to go out with me, but I can tell that he's tired. And I don't really know if it's fair of me to ask him to do things when he obviously has had a much longer week than I have. So who's getting frustrated with who in this scenario? Are you guys getting frustrated with who in this scenario? Are you guys getting frustrated with each other?

It's not so much frustrated. It's more like, well, I get antsy and then he can tell and then he gets upset or I can tell that he's trying to make an effort to do something. But it's like I feel bad that he's trying to do that because I know it's not what he wants to do. And is it causing fights? No, not really fights, but just kind of like disagreement. So it's just more, you guys just both feel bad? Like what's your, how do you feel about, what's your version of this, Matt? It's more of like, kind of like she said, like we'll be sitting around and like I can tell she's getting all antsy

and restless so it's like I'm like all right like let's go do this and then she's like no like it's okay I'm like well like what's really going on I can tell you want to do something and then I'm saying like let's go do this and then you say no so it's like you want him to want to do it don't you you want to just be as excited as you are about doing something? Yeah. Yeah. But then it's also just like, I know that he works a lot more than I do. So there's kind of like a guilt factor with that or like not guilt in terms of like, like

I feel like I do enough. It's just guilt. Like I, I don't want him to force himself to do something when I know he's just physically exhausted. I don't want him to force himself to do something when I know he's just physically exhausted. So the obvious question is, couldn't you do things without him? I mean, I know that he's your boyfriend, and I'm sure my girlfriend likes spending time with me, and we spend all our time together.

I get that. But aren't there times where you could, if it's about you just being antsy, mix in a friend activity or two or something you do on your own? Especially, I mean, I'm guessing Saturday mornings or Saturday afternoons, fresh off the long week, maybe just wants to chill out. I don't know. But I feel like this is a relatively easy problem to solve.

What you guys are doing now, I can see how that'd be really to solve. What you guys are doing now, I can see how that'd be really frustrating because what you guys are doing now, and correct me if I'm wrong, is you're not really doing anything about it. You're both just kind of huffing and puffing around the other person. And you're huffing and puffing, Sam,

because you want to do something, but you empathize with him, but you want him to have fun. And Matt's huffing and puffing because you're just pacing around looking bored as fuck and he feels like a bad guy yeah yeah pretty much so isn't there like a compromise here like what's your I feel like like you I do do things with like I try to go out on my own, like, twice a week at least. Probably, like, two or three times a week. I think that it might be notable that he's also sober and I'm not.

Okay. So, I feel like a lot of the time, like, when I go out, it's, like, to drink and to do things like that. And, like, I just want to spend time with him, like, but then I feel bad that I'm making him do that. That makes sense. Yeah, but you got to have to let that go. Listen, he chose to be sober for whatever reason and that's a choice and you want to respect that. And you also have the right to not be sober

and it sounds like he's fine with that too. You both have to, as adults, just acknowledge that that is a hurdle. It's like, it's a mild inconvenience, or maybe it's a huge inconvenience. I don't know. But like, it's kind of like, listen, if you're dating a vegetarian, is that annoying? Yeah. But like, it's totally doable, but it's not going to do you any like if you're going to decide to date a vegetarian then just accept that he's a vegetarian and just like accept the inconvenience it doesn't do you any good of like being upset that you're like you just like you just i'm going to eat meat around him and i'm going to feel don, don't eat, you know what I'm saying? You can't feel bad every time you have a steak.

In this situation, he's sober. So what I think you guys need, here's my thought, is I think you need a little structure around the differences that you guys have. And by structure, I mean, I think you guys, there's several things I think you just need to accept and stop making each other feel bad like let him be tired and take a nap and and don't sit around looking anxious go do something if you want to do something right and if and if and when he offers to do something take him at his word you know and then trust trust that like he will tell you if he's too tired to do something

and then matt i don't know if you're doing this but when you say hey i'm down to do something you don't get to constantly say how tired you are all the time you know what i'm saying if you go out and you're like hey babe i'll go do this you don't get to be like you know what i'm fucking tired though you know you have to actually suck it you know what? I'm fucking tired, though. You have to actually suck it up because that's when she feels bad when you constantly keep reminding her that you're tired. Yeah. And don't say that you'll go unless you actually want to.

You actually think you can. Yeah. I wouldn't offer, though, if I didn't, if I wasn't. Give him a chance to fail, though, Sarah. And if he does pull that shit, then you can call him out at first. But it sounds like maybe you're anticipating what you think you might get frustrated at with him,

if that makes sense. And then just get frustrated. And then when I say structure, it's just like, and also by the way, I don't like you're going through school right now that's a temporary thing right uh I don't know what you're like professional what are you going to school for education okay so like you'll eventually be a

teacher right yeah and I don't know like if your your schedules might line up a little bit better in the future I don't know but in the the meantime, whenever they don't line up, I think you guys should have some structure where Matt gets to nap. And you know it. Saturdays are Matt's day. And if Matt wants to nap, so the point is,

then you can plan on not hanging out with him that day. And if he wants to say, hey, I'm down, you know what? During Matt's day, I'm going to make us an us day. He gets to choose to do that. And then you get to be excited. And then you're like, more like thrilled about it rather than like, cause this is all about expectations and reality. Like you guys both have these expectations of what you want the other person to do and how you want them to act. It's more about how you want them to act too. And then they don't live up to your expectations. And then you guys passively aggressively huff and puff around each other. Yep. So like, I guess what, what, this sounds like such an easy

thing we can try to do. And I think it's just you two sitting down what so i'm curious what have you guys done at all if anything so like when you guys talk about this what are solutions that other of you have suggested to avoid feeling this way well i was like obviously yeah like you said like just i can go out and do things by myself which is obviously that's good but it's not with him and then another thing is like it came up at one point like maybe we go on like a weekly like date night or something like that but you know sometimes it doesn't always like work out like that but i think that even is a good idea even just like to go or just like a weekly outing like once once a week yeah i think i think that's great

and i think it'd be easier too if you don't make it always like on a certain day because then it's like oh shit but you guys have to like both and I think Matt this is where you could probably win a lot of points as if like as a couple you guys agree to do this date night but you end up being the one to remind her about the date night

even if she's not going to forget you know what I'm saying like yeah you know if you're like, maybe do some low-key planning. And then every fucking girlfriend loves a guy who's willing to plan literally anything. Yeah. Anything. You'll be like, babe, I made this a reservation. Like, whatever the fuck.

She's like, you called someone and planned something for me? Oh my god, you love me. It's not hard. So all you have to do is do that. Absolutely. And then that way you know, let the guy nap

in peace. Yeah. I really do feel for you guys because like I think everyone this is a very relatable thing I mean you guys are like it's a very specific thing because of your work schedule but I think every couple can relate to the idea of their partner wanting to do something but the other person's tired and they just kind of hover around you and like it's so annoying but it goes both ways too people do it to each other

I'm sure Matt has his version of doing it with you but yeah I think you guys just have to one the big thing is stop just say what you mean stop assuming each other's feelings the big thing is stop. Just say what you mean. Stop, stop, stop assuming each other's feelings. Uh,

if he says he's willing to do it, take him at his word. And then if he goes out, then you just have to suck it up, bring your a game or at least a B game. And you just can't, you can't act tired. You can't use your tired as

an excuse. Right. And just find your moments where you hang out with your friends. Like say, listen, be thankful that you love hanging out with your boyfriend and that when you're with your friends, now I'm serious though, because a lot of people don't, a lot of people have a boyfriend and girlfriends and don't like hanging out with them all the time all the time so enjoy your friends have fun with them live it up yolo you know go out to the bars and like really embrace that and then when you guys have the time that you set aside uh make sure you're like that's where it's up to you matt to like because right now she doubts your ability to like step up and have fun and like be present and you know like really connect

on a date you know she's like assuming you're going to be sleeping that does he is he i mean you're a guy so i'm just making some generalizations i don't get to generalize as a white straight male, so I'm taking it out on you. But I'm guessing when you are out, you might not be as present as she'd like you to be. Probably true at times, yeah. Yeah. So maybe just throw out some like, asking her about how she's feeling about work or school or or really like dig a little deeper and like when she tells you a story you know i'm literally telling you shit that i need to do with my girlfriend so this is not coming from a place of judgment um but it's coming from a place of like i think a lot of couples struggle with this and if you're tired you if you're tired, you're just not present. You're just like you're somewhere else.

And if you're busy, then trust me, Matt, I get the feeling of like, I'm tired. I have a million things to do. And yeah, I want to hear your story, but I also have to do X, Y, and Z. And so it's really just trying to prioritize certain... I love the date night idea. Just make it easy and obtainable to do.

And then Matt, I think you'll score more points if you actually take the initiative on planning you know and maybe maybe every other week it's the other person's job to plan the date night it's a good idea you know and there's probably two yeah you get to plan your date night thing that you want to do and mix it up or your favorite restaurant do you guys like the same foods yeah yeah for the most part it's such a that's that's a that's a win it's a win i did it a vegetarian once it was a nightmare um i don't know was that helpful i don't know yeah yeah that helpful? I don't know. Yeah.

Yeah, definitely. Amanda likes to end these calls with, you both, and you're going to love this, man. You both have to say something you love about the other person. I would say he's really attentive. He notices if I need a glass of water, a refill,

or if any of my plate cleaned up like just the little things he always notices it's an acts of service guy like myself yeah yeah what about you matt uh i would say probably her selflessness um you know she's really she'll put a lot of others before herself which which is huge. That's great. All right. Job well done. Bravo. Everyone did it.

We survived that. All right, guys. Matt, a personal thank you. I know the guys sometimes have to kick and scream for these mediations. Oh, and a serious question, Matt. Do you honestly, was this in any way helpful to you? Yeah, definitely. You can say no, I'll edit it out.

No, you can't. Definitely was. He was excited. All right, thanks for calling, guys. Thank you. All right, take care. Bye. What a great call.

Lovely. So relatable. And Travis, I'm sure you guys don't know who Travis is. I said Travis like... You should know. Everyone knows Travis. Travis is our sound engineer. Apparently, he deals with a very similar problem.

And he said my advice was helpful. And Travis is engaged. So these are important lessons. He's engaged. I hope you guys enjoy that. Send in your submissions. Send in, get like, everyone's happier for it. Get your guys to listen to these calls.

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