The Viall Files - E417 Going Deeper with Mary Fitzgerald of Selling Sunset

Episode Date: May 4, 2022

Welcome back to The Viall Files, Going Deeper edition! Today we are joined by Selling Sunset’s Mary Fitzgerald! On this episode we dive into all there is to talk about in this season of Selling Sunset, focusing around the Chrisell breakup with Jason, the controversy of Christina’s positive covid test, and some hints of what to be excited for with the upcoming Reunion on May 6th. We also talk about some of the best celebrity clients, debunk the Twitter rumors about fake phone calls and wifi passwords, and dive into the dynamics of calling your boss “babe.” We also welcome our new segment: Office Hours! On this segment Nick and his guest help listeners who are stuck in a text conversation, giving advice on what response to send in order to save or in some cases potentially end the situation! We help out two listeners, the first struggles with how to end a situationship in limbo respectfully, and our second wants to know how to get a guy to go on another date, learning that sometimes it’s better to be direct than to wait for someone to chase. “They both did the right thing, it doesn’t mean it’s not sad.” Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to [e-mail] to be a part of our Monday episodes.  If you would like to get some advice on Office Hours send an email to [e-mail] with “Office Hours” in the subject line!  Pre-Order Nick’s Book: https://www.abramsbooks.com/product/dont-text-your-ex-happy-birthday_9781419755491/ Check out our new "Introvert" merch at http://www.viallfiles.com today! THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: Helix Sleep: Helix is offering up to $200 off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners at http://www.HelixSleep.com/Viall Earnest: Get a $100 cash bonus when you visit http://www.Earnest.com/Viall to refinance your student loan. Olive and June: Visit http://OliveandJune.com/Viall for 20% off your first Mani System! Episode Socials:  @viallfiles @nickviall @themaryfitzgerald See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

what's going on everybody welcome back to another episode of the vile files going deeper edition i'm excited for our episode today We have the wonderfully charming Mary Fitzgerald from Selling Sunset with us Biggest sweetheart Why'd you shake your head? No, I was It's like in disbelief Like, oh, it was so good

I was like, did I say her name wrong? No Yes, Mary is with us She is just a wonderfully nice Delightful person She was fabulous We also are debuting A new segment on this uh podcast if you

if you haven't listened to other episodes this week we're not doing a mediation call today uh we're gonna spice it up we're gonna do texting office hours which was born out of us we explain it later in the episode of of securing date number two for ally who had decided that it was over and done with and we brought it back from the dead revived revived well and from my perspective i was like i felt like i was giving it my all and like not getting anything back and then it wasn't until you guys were looking through it and you're like no actually like I didn't realize I wasn't like giving as much as I thought I was because I think I was coming at it from a point of like already being frustrated so I was like gosh I'm like still giving even though like when you read it back

it's like oh no you were pretty like curt I also think yeah whenever you're like thinking about a situation that you're involved in and at the center of like i always err on the side of kind of like trying to be protective of myself which can mean like interpreting things like through like a bias in that direction and so when you have like a separate of someone who's like not invested and not vulnerable and not like in a position where they're like rejection is on the table etc it's like you don't want to seem too needy you want to sound chill you want to like play it cool which all plays a role in what we decide to text and then we're worried about what they think etc etc but early on we often make the mistake of having these expectations for how we hope things play out and we we don't have the rapport with these people to communicate expectations

and what i mean by like you know you have one date with someone it's kind of nuts to say i kind of hope things work out kind of thing especially if they haven't you know it's it's a it's touch and go and then sometimes what we still have these expectations that will come out via how we communicate that could come across to the other person is confusing or unclear or passive aggressive or et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Because I think it's hard because I think dating is kind of inherently goal oriented, even if that goal is not a long term relationship, although I think for a lot of people it is like I think it's hard because when you're goal-oriented, the second you see someone, you're kind of thinking about, are they going to make me achieve this goal? And it's very easy to, instead of kind of feeling stuff out, I think it's just so easy to get invested in the idea of having a goal fulfilled regardless of the person

themselves is how i feel anyways sometimes uh we just need a little help with our texts sometimes you think it's dead and gone and then like jesus on easter in comes the incoming text and if i wish you could have all seen nick's reaction when the when the response text came in we were all we We were all so excited. And we're not going to reveal the text that we sent, but it got an instant response. This is a boy who's been lagging a little bit with his response time. And we got instant response.

He stopped whatever he was doing. That he did. So we have a track record of excellence. One out of one. 100%. We also have an update from a recent mediation call uh if you guys remember it was a couple that was deciding where they wanted to move he was the doctor and she loved southern california and uh she writes in uh hi nick and team this is Sarah. And I just wanted to give you guys an update since our mediation episode where we were constantly finding over the deal that we made

on where we were going to live long-term. Southern California beach life versus Pacific North forest life, which yeah, she made that deal. If you move out and she just assumed he would fall in love with Southern California, he did not. We ended up following a few pieces of Nick's and Chris's advice and have an awesome update. We threw out the idea of the deal and I made a conscious effort to shift my attitude and stop trying to convince Patrick to love SoCal. Instead, I channeled that positivity and passion into planning a road trip up to Northern, uh, Northern, up to Northern California where we, uh, we just got back from a trip and both ended up falling in love with multiple cities that we have, uh, have the perfect combination of pine trees and the beach. Instead of bickering

about pine trees versus the beach, we spent the 10-hour trip back home excitingly planning our future in Northern California. Thanks so much, Nick and Chris, for the amazing advice and outside perspective. It really helped us get back together as a team and has taken a huge weight off our shoulders. Can't thank you enough. That's such a good compromise. We just saved

a relationship. Saving lives. Great job. Thanks for the update. Next week, Freestyle may be maybe a surprise guest i haven't decided yet i'm gonna ask you guys what you guys think i have a friend she works at a place where celebrities frequent it's craigs well no it's not but like i get craigs would be an example Are we talking like nightclub, restaurant? Yes. But like she's gotten to know these people and she's also been following the Johnny Depp and Emma Heard trial.

And I believe she's met both of them. And she just has a lot of like stories about people. She also has an amazing Britishish accent win-win so like i've thought of like having her on to give her two cents on on the trial as someone who's like she just always likes one of those people who just knows so many celebrities and i'm just wondering i was on the phone with her yesterday and and I was like, is there a world where you come on and share your insight as someone who's met some of these people? I don't know.

And we have Erica Priscilla, and her husband Scott will be with us for Going Deeper. I met them at Coachella. They're awesome. They're hilarious. If you don't know them, you're going to want to tune in. They're awesome. They're hilarious. If you don't know them, you're going to want to tune in. They'll be with us on Wednesday.

I'm really looking forward to that episode. Let's get to Mary. Mary, welcome. Thank you. Thank you for having me. I think you're our second, yeah, second. We had Chris Shell on a couple times.

Oh, yeah. Friend of show. Friend of show. Chris Shell Chris Shell on a couple times. Oh, yeah. Friend of show. Friend of show. Chris Shell's been on a couple times. A few times. At least twice. At least twice. She did an ass neck.

Yeah. And then we did a Chris Shell's on. I love Chris Shell. Yeah, we love Chris Shell too. We could talk about her all day. I did a live on TikTok yesterday, and I was watching Selling Sunset, and I had in the background, and the people on live said said Mary's having an amazing season oh is that how it do you how how do you feel about this season I feel like you you're like a a star like you're a focal point in the best possible

way this season really I I have not heard that no no no. I mean, I'm happy with this season and how I'm Christine and her drama and then, uh, Jason and Chris shell's relationship and everybody else like, kind of like was on the back burner, but I, I guess I get that, but maybe we, maybe it's coming from a place of those other two storylines you mentioned, especially, and we'll certainly get into that. Christine of it all. It's like, I think we want something to root for. Yeah. yeah uh it's tough to want to root for chel and that relationship because we know it's over yeah um so now we kind of watch it more through a nitpicking lens of like where did it go wrong kind of thing right so i don't know i just I feel like that's maybe where it's coming from. Yeah, maybe. I don't know. I mean, I think it was a good, a good season. So regardless of, of what happened, we filmed so much too. And so there were so many sales and so many things that

happened and it all got cut because no one anticipated at the beginning of the season, like they're showing, um, uh, Chris shell and Jason and their relationship. And then, you know, we're filming all this stuff and then they break up. And so then they're like, Oh, hang on, hang on. So then they're trying to film all this and all the other real estate stuff got cut. Yeah. Do you get annoyed by that?

Uh, no, I don't think I'm annoyed. I don't get annoyed, but I do a little disappointed. Yeah. I don't think I'm annoyed. I don't get annoyed, but I do a little disappointed. Yeah. Cause you know,

we get proud of, of our accomplishments and ourselves and, and you want that to be shown. And, and, um, I wish it would have been, but at the end of the day, it's all about making a good show.

And so my sales are still there, whether or not they're shown or not. Yeah. I mean, everyone's a little cranky when they're tired. 100%. I've been cranky all week. And miserable to be around. So get some good sleep. And if you don't have a Helix mattress,

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There's a couple of them because I had quite a few sales. And then a couple of clients that were on there that are really fun, cool clients. And I think that the house that Emma and Chrishell went to, where Emma wanted to sell, she wanted to buy it for her parents. That was actually the one that I sold. And my clients came, they filmed with me, and they're like such a cute couple. And it kind of told the story about what happens in real estate, because I was showing them down in OC for a while. And there were so many things that had happened. And I thought it gave a really good insight as to what happens during transactions.

And we were in escrow, like four different homes. And something so random happened in each one, but it also showed why inspections and getting all the disclosures are essential. And so there was a lot of drama in that where I always like to take it back to the real estate drama and not like the— The relationship. Yeah, the catty drama between the girls. And so I thought that was going to be really good. And it was fun to show them around. I know they were excited about the house, my clients I'm talking about. It was fun to show them around.

I know they were excited about the house, my clients I'm talking about. And so I was kind of bummed that that didn't show, that they showed Chrishell and Emma doing the walkthrough and not like me actually selling it and beating out like Emma's offer and stuff like that because that was fun. And it was entertaining. Does that stuff get personal since you like were beating out a colleague's offer? No, Emma and I are good friends. I mean, she was bummed for sure. I mean, she was like, she was really bummed. I felt so bad when, and they didn't show me ringing the bell

because even when I rang it, I was like, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. But I was super excited. But at the same time, I'm like, eh, I still did the right thing for my clients and I still sold it, so. Speaking of real estate deals, I mean, I was, I got to kind of get into the scene, but when Chris Shell, not Jason, Brett, when they kind of went in that deal

together and they had the secondary, like Brett was more, I guess, aggressive, you know, about his client. He wanted to raise the prize and then he wanted no contingencies. And as someone who doesn't know much about real estate, other my own purchasing experiences i totally was team brett even though he might have been a bit harsh i was like you have another buyer with a higher offer like why explain what where was chris shell coming from and all did you ultimately decided with brett though yeah i did in that moment yeah i love chris shell but yeah i did i i was like i have to back brett up on this i mean you don't, this is a very interesting market and you have to take advantage of it. If you're representing your seller properly, then, and you have an offer that's higher and back up and they are a legit interested buyer, then why would you not? You either win by, you win regardless because you get a higher offer and you tell them there's no credits. And so that person is dying to get in there. So why would you

give away, you have a lower offer and then give away more money? Why would you do that? So I mean, I get it. Like the person in there, it's not normal just to be like, nope, you get nothing. But in this market, if you have the backup offer, the tire, be like, if you don't want to do this, then we get a better offer. So take it or leave it. Do you enjoy being a manager now? I do. I do. I do. I do. But I think Christine is my least favorite trying to deal with the drama and putting my feelings aside because I have personal feelings about it. And I want to defend my friends and defend like and agree with them when I know they're right.

And I can't. I have to put that aside and be like okay I have no opinion right now what's best for the office how do I create um peace and how do I fix this situation between everybody so have you had to find did you find yourself in situations where the choice for the office was siding with Christine versus like the personal side of siding with the other women. What, me siding with Christine? Oh God, no. No, but like you. I think the opposite of like more like, yeah, like not necessarily being able to call Christine out

to the degree you might want. I have to be professional and not say my personal opinion and get wound up about it. I have to just be like, okay, I take my I'm take my, my Mary hat off and my friend hat off. And I put my boss hat on and I have no personal opinions. I'm like, what is right and wrong? How do I fix this? And, and how do I create, um, a better work environment for everybody? And so it, that's, what's hard. I know I'm almost always, well, actually always, like have my own opinion,

which is also in line with every single other person at the brokerage. Do we, so are we sitting with Mary or the boss? Oh, you're sitting with Mary, right? So, all right. I'm not in the office, so I'm Mary. Let's talk some shit, yeah. But what is the, like, I mean, I've never met Christine.

I actually, I would love to get her on this show and get her point of view. But watching it back, we talked about this yesterday. It's just like, at this point, like, as someone who likes to be blunt and honest, and I hate it when people are overly nice and try to get everyone to like them. So there's aspects of Christine at first that you can like, yeah, like she mixes it up. Yeah. You know, she adds some flavor to the conversations. But the stuff we're seeing this season, it's just more, you seem to just be alienating

your friends. Yeah. You know, we're like, none of us are psychologists here. Yeah. But why do you think she is doing what she is doing? And just to like. That's the million dollar question. Dispel any rumors.

Like this is not like an act she's putting on for the show. We don't know. You honestly don't know. No, we don't know. And it can't be for the show because she's doing it outside of the show. Yeah. When the cameras are off, she does even worse stuff when the cameras are off so but the thing is we all we all loved the christine in season one she was and i used to live with her i loved her but but

she is just um she's changed and she the funny part she always has like she's funny she's like outgoing she I think that part is good for the show but what's not good is we all got into this for to show that women can do anything you can be a boss you can um you can like lift each other up you don't have to tear people down like on Instagram and and everything everyone's trying to tear each other down to make themselves feel better you don't have to to do that. Women supporting women and women empowerment and all that, we want to promote that. And so I feel like it's kind of taken a step back from that because we can't control what she's doing and saying. And so it's like, and it's confusing because she wants to be like this boss bitch kind of thing. And all she's doing is just being a bitch.

And I mean, that's like, so we're all just like, why can't you just do what Davina did? Like you realize you are alienating people by your behavior. And if you don't want that, if you don't want the negative comments from viewers, if you don't want like your colleagues to be like, I prefer not hanging out with you outside the office, then change your behavior. It's not that difficult. Apologize and just don't do it anymore. And Davina, like she stepped up and she, I mean, she has impressed everybody. Like we, none of us thought she could change this much, this quickly. And she's doing it just because she did some self-reflection and was like, okay, I don't like the way I'm coming across. I didn't realize I was doing that.

I don't want to alienate everybody that I work with. I want to be friends. And so she's killed it. Why can't Christine do that? I don't know. So how many people have like tried to like reason with Christine? Everybody. Everyone. Yeah. And you used to live with her. What was your big to reason with Christine? Everybody. Everyone.

Yeah. And you used to live with her. Yeah. What was your big falling out with her? There wasn't one specific one, although I don't even talk about some things that she's done personally that I found out about, and I was like, seriously? I can't share it.

I mean, there's no point. I mean, she does stuff just to hurt people. She'll leak stories about stuff, like personal. She'll leak things. She, like, does, she just does some messed up stuff. And it's like, why would you do that? And then she'll say, oh, but I want to be friends. I'm really trying to do something different.

And she doesn't. She just, like, does, she just does messed up stuff so it really is just kind of chaotic yeah it's it's beyond chaotic and and it's everyone feels like they've tried to like see her side so to speak where it's just kind of like we've all tried to help and and then she just like she just um stabs everybody in the back and just does stuff that we're everyone's just like enough like we've tried and then now everyone's just like you know what she's not even a part of our lives we don't care anymore and the storyline to us is like super old because we're like well i mean you're not part of our life we all hang out we all have fun we do like really there's real estate drama and drama

within like other stuff like in and our personal lives that they could show. But just with Christine, it's like, we're so over it. We don't, we really don't care anymore. Is she done with the show? Is she going to be done? I have no idea what she's doing.

I have no clue. How does it work with like Jason and Brett? Like at some point, I mean, I know there's a TV show that you're making and we love the drama. And obviously like, is that how does and i'm i mean i am curious like where does where does like jason and brett draw the line between like hey we have

to we have a business to run versus is it netflix or whatever production coming coming in is saying we have a show to make yeah um i think there's a little bit of both um i mean jason there's a little bit of both. I mean, Jason, there's a little bit of both because of the show being there. I mean, we kind of have to tread lightly because they get a decision too. But Jason gets say over who's at his brokerage. This is a real brokerage. We all do this. And her behavior has been it makes us look bad. And we can't tolerate it. So we have to take steps to protect the brokerage. Whatever Netflix and production and everybody wants to do, if they want to keep her on the show in a different aspect, I don't know. That's up to them. It's not in our control. And I don't know what they're going to them. It's not under in our control and I don't know what they're going to do. Um, but as far as the decision, you know, that's a tough one. I mean,

at the brokerage, the absolutely not. Um, she, she cannot be at the brokerage if it were my decision. And I mean, I, I'm not sure how much I'm allowed to say, um, like regarding that, but if it were my decision, absolutely not. Yeah, this is huge. On the show, I don't know. I know she's good for the show in one aspect, but I feel like it kind of still takes away from, like, the positivity and the point of the show. But I know she's good for it.

People love her outgoing, crazy antics and her wild clothes and stuff like that. So I'm not saying that she's not beneficial, but at a certain point, I think, I mean, from all of the comments that I see that people are saying that everyone's just over it. And so I don't know how much is just like they're saying that to me because they know that we're all at that point. I'm sure she gets other comments too. Who knows? What did you make of her not attending the reunion taping? And I know there's been some controversy over whether in fact she did have COVID or not.

Once again, I think she doesn't show up to a lot of things. And I think it was very unprofessional, very disrespectful to not show up. We were all tested on Tuesday. And then on Friday, we were all negative. Amanza wasn't. So we all tested again. But Amanza zoomed in. And you could tell she was sick.

She said she had COVID. COVID team. We could test by our own COVID team. They went over there. She went and opened the door. And then she- And she could have zoomed in, to your point. Yeah, but she-

And she didn't even want to get tested by the team. But who did she get tested by? Like, we have our team- So you don't believe. No, and then she shows up on another set two days later. So either she was irresponsible, disrespectful, and unprofessional, like everything towards that production team

and putting them at risk and not saying anything or she was lying for us. Either way, it's wrong. That's my opinion. Take it away. Olive and June,

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slash V I A L L for 20% off your first Manny system. That's O L Ii-v-e-a-n-d-j-u-n-e.com slash v-i-a-l-l for 20% off your first manny system oliveandjune.com slash v-i-a-l-l what is your like whether you're filming or not it might be different but like how frequently are you in the office or do you see the other girls like are there certain people that you really only see during filming are you like seeing each other frequently when you're not filming uh we say oh yeah we're all really good friends i was just um we were just uh in the desert i was just i stayed with heather and tarik at their house and um with romaine and i went with them for a stage coach and we stayed with them jason and Amanza came out, and so we all hung out. Brett wasn't able to make it.

But yeah, Chrishell, Emma, Heather, Tarek, Romaine, that whole group, we typically hang out all the time. Chelsea has been talking to us a lot more. I think Emma and Chrishell see her more than I do. But I think she's a great addition to the show, though. I like Chelsea. And you spoke so much about how there's so much uplifting and supporting each other. I am curious because it's obviously an incredibly competitive environment. How do you navigate your own competitive spirit with these like

friendships that you want to maintain and show respect and love for? I don't know. I don't think it causes any problem for me. I mean, because business is business as long as you treat someone with respect. And yeah, these are my friends. These are my colleagues. But it's business at the end of the day. We're representing our client. So you have to do what's in their best interest. It's nothing personal. As long as you don't do something like underhanded, then I mean, that would be messed up. But none of us are like that. We try our best. We represent our clients, do the best of our ability, and may the winner ring the bell. I don't know. and may the winner ring the bell.

I don't know. What does it entail when we add new women each season? Obviously, we started with Chris Shell joining season one, but we've had Emma join and Vanessa and now Chelsea. Is that a decision from production to bring someone in? Is that a decision from the brokerage? Is it both? Have they worked there before?

Are they a cast member like both um but there's a couple people that um i think amanda when she when she joined that was a personal thing because she's been doing the staging and everything for a while and jason keeps saying you should get your license so you can do both like if you meet a client you can not only sell them all but then you can stage it like get ready for the listing that you can like create your own one-stop shop exactly so um we talked her into getting her license she still likes design way more but she's too creative and artsy and she's like yeah i think i'm gonna stick with this with this side of it but she's still doing stuff, but she really likes the creativity. Has this show ever considered

like incorporating more like celebrity buyers? Yeah. Where it's just like. We've had some, yeah. But that'd be more of a thing. Yeah. I mean, the more. Like kind of integrate it more like, yeah.

We've had quite a few of them. Who are the ones I'm missing? Like Karamo came on, which was a fun like Netflix hybrid. Did you buy a show? Yeah. Christine, did you buy a house? Yeah, I did French Montana. Okay.

You had someone season one, that actor. I'm blanking on his name. Oh, Taye Diggs. Yeah. Yeah. And then, and then, let's see. And then Chrishell has had a couple NBA players. Chrishell was touring with Larsa Pippen for a while trying to find her a place.

Oh, yeah. Because she wanted the basketball court for her son. Yeah. And then she just had Thomas Bryant, I think. So she just had him. So a lot already. Yeah. And then, yeah, we have quite a few and then the bigger

the show gets the more celebrities like they're willing they see like they're not portrayed poorly and so they're willing to come on sometimes the problem is with celebrities is they have competing um contracts so they can't be on the contract that they're in like if it's on a different network then then a lot of times they can't do it even even tarik and heather like he can only be on a certain number of times on our show because it competes with theirs and her same thing for her because and we have to try to find some middle ground if if especially when you're in a relationship with someone it's like well is that why we didn't see justin on the show back in the day? Yeah.

Okay. Well, I don't, I'm not really sure if he, if, if he would, if he could, I'm not really sure about that, but I do know he had a competing, um, contract. A lot was made kind of in jest of, of Jason's phone call and the picture. I was on a very different reality TV show. So things are done differently. I just remember watching season one and Jason was a phone call. And I just thought to myself, this is some good acting by Jason because this is definitely a fake phone call.

This was my opinion. Uh-huh. Well, we just did on the way in the Sprinter. We actually did something super funny because they just keep saying stuff like this over and over. And we're getting ripped apart in the media about it. So we just did a video just debunking the whole thing. And I have it on here. I don't know.

Jason said he hasn't posted it yet, but I actually have it on my phone. I can show it to you guys. What's the video? Yeah. Yeah. So basically, Jason is sitting across from Amanza, and Amanza calls Jason. She's like, hey, Jay, what's up? And they're both on speaker. And he's like, he, Amanza calls Jason. She's like, hey, Jay, what's up?

And they're both on speaker. And he's like, hey, how you doing? Hey, I want to send you a video really fast. And so he like scrolls through, he goes to his camera. He's like, oh, wait, I'm gonna take you on speaker. Hey, so, and you can still see the video on the thing, but he's talking to her. And then she's like, oh, wait, okay, hang on. I'm gonna take a picture of Romaine right now.

And oh, I'm gonna send it to you. He's like, oh, yeah, I see it. Oh, that's'm a client, I don't want my phone conversation to be on the other half of it. We tell them before. I mean, sometimes they don't want to be on it all. And so we'll just be like, oh, hey, I just got off the phone with my client. And we'll say what the actual conversation was. But sometimes they don't want to be involved. But then sometimes they're like, hey, we're getting ready to film. Would you

mind, like, just this is what we're going to be talking about? Do you care if you're on camera, just on audio? And they're like, no, it's cool. So then we give them a heads up. So we're not going to blindside any of our clients. That's really bad for business. So 100% of the phone conversations we've seen on the show have all been

real phone conversations. Which I also don't, like, by the way, I don't care if they're fake. Almost all of them. Yeah. Sometimes like there's sometimes we'll use for our client, we'll use their assistant or we'll use somebody else instead where they'll have a representative of their team. So everything's not exactly like that's not the buyer. It's their, like, their manager goes instead of the client or the whatever because they want to be kept private. They don't want people to know where they live. They don't want, like, anything. So we'll work around it where we can still tell the story.

But it's one of their, a member of their team that is in place of them. Gotcha. Yeah. I just, of course, it's like a, you guys have to make a TV show, you know, and sometimes you have to. And everybody doesn't want to be out there, have all their private stuff out there in Sometimes you have to drink out of gold goblets because, you know. Continuity.

Continuity. When is the reunion air? May 6th. What can we expect? What can you tease i think it is going to be from what we were told from um from some of the people it is the most um emotional entertaining um kind of uh eye-opening uh reunion like where it's it's a mature reunion like where there's not the cat fighting i mean there's arguments there's like stuff like that but i think it's more like seeing um what has happened and seeing the relationships between everybody and it's and

there's like there's one like oh my god God moment that I, everyone, I'm not going to say, but there, there is a, um, breaking news on it. Someone's pregnant. Um, cannot say,

but everyone's going to have to watch because it is. I felt like we got a, I felt like she had to like pretend not, not make eye contact. No, no, I'm, I'm just going to let everybody watch,

but it is a, everyone's going to be like, oh my God. Yeah. it's, it's mind blowing. Like, I mean, I knew, but I didn't know that it was going to be revealed like here. And I was like, oh my God. Oh's very emotional parts, too, where I mean, like many of us were like just crying. And and it was. And but you see, like when people that are like, hey, did Jason and Chris fake this relationship for the show? You guys are going to see like, I mean, you cannot make it into it. You know, you can't make up the emotions that that were that were involved in and i think it'll show people like you know there's so much drama on this show but there's so much love too between so many of us oh it just breaks my heart every is there a reason that we

didn't you said you filmed so much and so much had to be cut is there a reason that we didn't see their actual breakup it went from jason talking to you and amanda to chris shell informing emma and i felt like we kind of like that would have been good to see if it was filmed i think it was too emotional they probably just did it yeah and didn't want to recreate it because it is their personal life yeah they couldn't it was too emotional they couldn't recreate it with each other how do you do that too it's not like the bachelor where it's just like hey by the way i'm gonna break up with my girlfriend do you do that too? It's not like The Bachelor where it's just like, hey, by the way, I'm going to break up with my girlfriend. Do you guys want to film this shit? Yeah. And like the only way to actually have done that would have been to

do what like Ari did to Becca where he blindsided her with cameras. Oh, by the way, I'm ambushing you before I break your heart and embarrass you. That's the only way to do it. Yeah. So you dated Jason. You're friends with chris shell you work for jason

yeah like team and like who who who did you empathize with more in the breakup oh i i don't take sides in it i i honestly like i know it sounds like like lame answer, but I love both of them. And I just wanted, I wanted to help see if they could come to a resolution. And I talked to Jason about it a lot. Like if there's any way, like try to help him get his mind around being a dad and being ready to go. He would be so amazing. He really would. So that was a big thing why they broke up like yeah he didn't want to yeah that was that was that was it that was

why they broke up he realized that he he was not ready um to boy at heart no he just like i was shocked that he went this far like he well because that's the reason you two broke up you said like back in season one you were like we dated for a year but he you know missed her commitment issues he didn't want to settle down bachelor at heart so i was wondering like did you think this was going to be the different one yeah i did why because he was so different with her he was he i mean he would they would still be together if, I think, if she didn't want to have kids right away. Then they would still be together. They are a great match.

They have so much respect for each other, had such an amazing relationship with each other. But they both did the right thing. She was honest with herself. She wasn't going to compromise any longer. She's at an age that she just didn't want to compromise what she wants in life. And he was doing the right thing and was being fair and honest with her when he realized, I'm not ready yet and probably won't be for at least a couple years, he told her. And so they just made a mature decision based on what they need and want in their own lives. And so it was heartbreaking.

It was heartbreaking for them and for everybody that loved them because they were so amazing together. But they did the right thing. It doesn't mean it's not sad, you know? Yeah. Who do you think was more heartbroken? They both went through it. Okay.

They watched the reunion. I think Jason is still is still like he's still processing and still like you know dude may 6th watch a reunion it's only a couple days away yeah yeah everyone will see and i think i think it'll be very very um eye-opening for everybody you're gonna see a different side of jason of you're gonna see it yeah you're gonna see a different side um that that is what we see like as as his really good friends um and why we are why as his ex-girlfriends why we are all friends like the girl that married us on on this show that's his other ex-girlfriend and so he's got a lot of ex-girlfriends yeah i know I know. She works at our brokerage too.

But we became friends too. I was scared to meet her when we first started dating. I was scared. But we became like super good friends. She married us, like Romaine and I. And then she works with all of us. But this is why I think people will start seeing like where it's not so weird, like that we all hang out. Because after a breakup, like there's so much love still it's just like we all could look at at what we're capable of we're all different we all want different things it doesn't mean that

like they're the other person's not a good person it just means we're not right for each other not right for each other right now or whatever it is. If you were to play a therapist, why do you think Jason is so reluctant to settle down? Jason and Brennan felt the same way. I really don't know. You know, I think they just, it's just who they are. Some people are, you know, some people are like super big family guys. They want a family. It means so much to them.

Some guys want careers and that's all that matters to them. It's just who they are. But their dad was, like, a bachelor for a very, very long time too. But he's now engaged and settled down and the happiest he's ever been.

But he's, like, what, 70-something? So, I don't know. Maybe they'll hit that point sooner or later, sooner than later. But, um... And both the brothers

are in the same spot. They're exactly the same. Yeah, because Brett broke up, I forget his girlfriend's name. She was in Europe with you guys. Tina. Did they break up as well? Yeah, but they're still really good friends.

She hangs out and goes to events with us all the time. She is awesome. Everybody loves Tina. Yeah, she still hangs out with us constantly. Do they kind of follow suit, Brett and Jason, when, like, if one breaks up with their girlfriend, do you think? Yeah, they tend to. I don't know if they mean to do.

I don't think they mean to do that, but they're both like they're so, they're very different in certain ways, but they're very similar too where it's like that twin aspect. It's like they both almost instinctually feel what each other's feeling and somehow like like if one of them actually gets married or has a kid i feel like the other one will yeah shortly thereafter maybe jason i in my opinion would be the first one to do that um brett maybe maybe he would i don't know why do you think jason would he would at I don't know. Why do you think Jason would be the first one?

He would at least be in a serious relationship probably. Why do you think Jason would be the first one? I just think he wants it more. He really, he wants it more and he's, he's, I don't know. Chrishell maybe opened the door to that. Yes. Yeah. Chrishell changed him. So now he's closer. He wasn't all the way there. Yeah, he's not there yet, but I think he's closer. And again, people are in your lives for a reason, and whether or not he wasn't ready yet,

and they wanted different things. But people are in each other's lives for a reason, and it takes you on to whatever it's supposed to be, and it makes you who you're supposed to be in the future. And, like, you know. Do you think Rochelle would take him back if he begged and said he was ready to have kids? It's just your opinion.

You could be wrong. We won't hold you to it. I'm going to just not answer that. Come on. I can't. I can't answer it. What, you. Come on. I can't. I can't answer it. What, you think? Yeah, I can't.

Should we call her? Friend of show, Chrishell? Just be like, hey, quick question. I can't. She'll know. She'll be like, thank you, Mary. Thank you for always, like, having my back and just pleading the fifth. Like, no, I just, honestly, I think everybody, the question was asked at the reunion.

And so I think you have to watch the reunion to hear the answer to that question and some other questions. Okay. I know. They would kill me. I would get in so much trouble if I gave away the info like before. Just asking your opinion. Time will tell. Sounds like maybe.

Time will tell. I don't know. I hope so. I will leave it at I would love nothing more than for them to be together. I love them together. But I love them being happy and being true to themselves more than than I love them being in love or whatever what's been the key for you having a relationship throughout the show and you know the show blowing up in such a big way and gaining momentum and being under the public scrutiny like how have you

been able to kind of like protect you and Romaine's relationship and do you have any advice on kind of what you've learned in this really like high stakes environment about love? I never really think about it too much actually. Romaine is such a rock. He, I feel like we just, we just are ourselves and we're so busy all the time that we just cherish every single minute that we actually get together. And then we have, it also helps having all of our best friends around us that are going through this at the same time, because then they have, they understand, they get it about what's going on. They have inside knowledge and the pressures of people always commenting, always having an opinion

and putting lies out there in the media and stuff like that. And so we have a really good support group around us. So if we do have an issue or get in fights, it's like the first person my man goes to was Jason, because it's so funny, like where, um, like he goes and talks to him because he knows like Jason always has my, Like he goes and talks to him because he knows like Jason always has my like has has my ear and and and vice versa. And and and he knows that Jason will know how to handle a situation with me the best and can give kind of a different perspective. And then same with same with Romain, like where I'll talk to Jason about it, too. I'm like, I don't understand like this or that. And he's like, okay.

And because he's friends with both of us and he hears both of our sides and he's just like, he's such a supportive friend. And the girls too. Like we talk to, we just talk to all of our friends about stuff if we have a problem. And everybody has nothing but love and support and good intentions to try to help us through it. But we really don't hit many hard times. I mean, we kind of laugh things off because we know that we're the ones living our life. People don't know, I mean, what happens behind closed doors and how happy we are or an argument we have and about whatever. We just live our life, really, you know.

And we've learned how to fight better, too, over the years. We realize we're stressed out a lot and we get just on the edge. And, you know, when we come home in a moment, we're like, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like, just like, you know, just like let it out and vent to each other. And so we've learned, don't take it personally. Because it's like if one of us isn't making any sense and it's not based on anything, we're like, sorry, you had a bad day. I love you, baby. Good night.

And we just like put ourselves in corners and we'll wake up and we're like, hi, honey. We're better. You sleep on it. We're okay. Because when we do have arguments, it's not actually about anything. We don't argue about anything. I have one more question before we get to. You're going to hopefully help us with our, we have this new segment we're calling text

to office hours. Okay. People are going to call in. Ooh. Yeah, it's fun. Okay. And we're going to tell them what they should text in the middle of a fight or a conversation. It'll be fun. But before we get to that, I mean, you're a mom, you know, young mothers or single parents out there who are dating, who, you know, maybe have some insecurities about that or just like, just struggles that come along with

that? Like, what was that like for you? And what, what are, what is advice, if anything, that you've learned that maybe you wish, like, I worried about this and I shouldn't have, or this is something I wish I was more mindful of that I didn't consider? shouldn't have, or this is something I wish I was more mindful of that I didn't consider. Yeah. Um, I would say what I should have been more careful of, um, introducing people to my son, um, at like right from the beginning and in my head being young and dumb, I was thinking we are a package. We, I mean, we come together. So if you're not okay with it, bye. But in hindsight, I should have decided if the relationship, like, made sure it was very clear from the start. But make sure it's worth even, like, there's some sort of, like, stability.

And at first, before I introduced my son to them because then it's like here's like revolving door or something and i was like that is not smart when you're young when you're younger did you feel like that was more coming from a place of like you said like we're a package deal so you almost wanted to make sure they accepted both of you and it was almost kind of yeah seeing how they felt how they reacted to each other. If my son like hated them or, or if they were just like rude or, or like dismissive, um, to my son. And I'm like, no, this isn't going to be a good fit. Um, so I, that was where my head was at, at the time, but I should have waited longer, um, before introducing him. I just feel like there was a bunch of random people.

Like, I mean, it wasn't, it didn't affect him, but just if I could do it over, I would have protected him more from just like the one or two month like relationship kind of people. I'd go on a couple of dates, like three dates or something, and then introduce him. And I was like, no, it could have been way longer. Interesting. Like six months maybe for those of you who don't know uh we're we're calling audible today we're starting this we had

this idea because of ally ally thank you uh ally had a dating situation she was texting this person texting we yeah this person that i was like into but from my perspective like basically my perspective of the situation was like it's dying it's dead how disappointing and then it wasn't until i got nick said nick went through my whole phone and was like no you brought this upon yourself well first she sent the text she sent us a screenshot right at first and then she gave us context and our my and amanda's response was fuck this guy basically like he's immature whatever yeah and then then they came over we're doing some work it got brought up again and i was like so what's going on and we got a little more context. We also found that the original screenshot that Allie sent us was altered.

She deleted one of her response. She falsified documents. I deleted one text. One. I thought it was very relatable. But anyways, relatable. She was self-conscious. It's fine.

Yeah. Y'all are hard. It's not easy. But then we got more context. hard it's not an easy but then we got more context and as we peeled back the layers i think the thought was maybe this isn't dead yet maybe you're like basically long story short very relatable story she had a nice date with a guy after that first nice date she knew she was excited about him which is so natural and human it's very relatable very natural and then so so and then but she also chased a little bit she set up this thing and didn't he

didn't respond the way she wanted and my whole takeaway was like all we know is he's not as excited as you are right now yeah but if you really like him and you like him, what's wrong with pursuing him? We came up with a text. Yeah. Got a lightning response, which brings us to this segment. We have a proven track record of success. Allie went from thinking this was dead in the water to having a date tomorrow night. Oh, okay.

They saved you. I guess. We got our second date. So here we are seeing if we have the same type of magic. We don't know what all these stories are, but we basically, they want our help crafting a text. Okay. How's it going? Hi there.

It's going good. Thanks. My name is Catherine. I'm 39. All right, Catherine. How can we all help? So I've been communicating with somebody for about a month that I met online and we went out on a date. Everything went great. And following that, he sort of had some stuff come up with his ex and kids, which I totally understood.

He kept me in the loop about it all. But I sort of put it in his hands to let me know when he'd like to get together again. I did a check in yesterday because, you know, he's been back in town for about a week and I'm like, hey, when you'd like to get together again. I did a check-in yesterday because you know he's been back in town for about a week and I'm like hey when are we gonna get together and basically said like if the stuff going on in your life is too much let me know but like I'm still interested and if you'd like to get together again let's do that and he let me know that yeah maybe it's not a great time personally just right now. And I guess what I'm trying to figure out is this is probably going to be the last text I ever send to this person.

And I'm wondering if it's like appropriate to say something along the lines of, are you interested in talking again when things clear up for you? If so, feel free to reach out, see if I'm still single, or if I should go down the road of like, I hope you don't think I was wanting like a serious relationship off the hop. Like I was just wanting to go on a second date. So like if your personal stuff is so big that that's not even possible, like, is that all just a yes? So what I said to him was, I'm wondering if we're due for a bit of a check-in. Are you wanting to make plans at some point? Is the other stuff going on making this a bad time for you to pursue dating? I feel like

I've been clear about my interest and appreciate your openness about the stresses you've got going on in your headspace, but I'm still wondering if you see things progressing here. I'm not trying to add pressure. I'd just like to know your thoughts. How many dates have you had with this person? How many days have I spoken to him? How many dates? One date.

You've had one date. How many times have you hung out other than just one date? Just one date. But been in communication for a little bit? FaceTime, phone calls, and like intensively texting for a month. For a month. Okay. That matters.

Yeah. So then he said, you're not wrong. There's been bad timing in regards to prior life stuff that I'm heavily involved in due to my children. And the other is work. Work's more of a private life killer than anything else. I know I haven't given you the time needed as we started almost a month ago

to see where things could or are like are or could go to. I've pulled back in my pursuit of that because until my old life matters are taken care of this new life I'm working towards will not get the attention it needs. I'm so sorry, but I'm just not ready for this just yet in my life. I do understand if you ghost me or whatever it's called. What am I supposed to keep talking? So like, here's what i think i think i mean you read it all but you really focused on the word yet and i think he inappropriately added that word

to like soften to soften and gave you the maybe gave you the false hope that i don't think is really there you've only been on one date i get get, you've been talking a lot, but like, I think you need to proceed with assuming this is just him deciding he, it's not worth it. And I think there's some sincerity when he's like, yeah, he probably is busy and there probably is stuff going on, but it's, he doesn't, like that's not going to change most likely. You know, like the shit we have like going on in our adult lives, it just, he wants to find someone

he's willing to make exceptions for and put them as a priority despite this other stuff. And unfortunately, or maybe fortunately for you, it's not you. I think he pulled a me, like where I try to like soften lows, like to everybody, like where I'm like, I'm getting a point across. But, I mean, the result's the same, but I try to do it where it's not going to hurt anybody's feelings.

And where it's like, no, there's all these other things. And you're right, I think he shouldn't have said yet. Just like, I'm just, I don't know if i'll be ready like to move forward there's things i'm taking care of um i don't know if i will but like good luck or something i don't know yeah i honestly maybe we're wrong i would say no we're definitely if you i don't think you need to send them anything i definitely don't like react i definitely don't like a thumbs up i don't i think i i don't think here's why i don't think you should you should definitely not send a well let me know if your mind changes some version of that because that's going to put you in a very

vulnerable state like that's what that's like you're going to lose your power so to speak because in your mind once you send that text even if you like know that it's not going to happen anytime soon, there's going to be part of you that's going to put like, that's like, I start the timer, like you're going to start waiting for him to like figure it out. And so in the back of your mind, always be hoping that maybe he will call, et cetera, et cetera. I think just for your own peace of mind, you've got to accept that, like, that's almost certainly not the case. And so if you're going to reply, I would just say some version of thanks for being upfront with me. Cause at the end of the day, minus the yet, I guess he could have strung you along and give you some other answer, but they'd say,

thanks for being upfront. And I really enjoyed my time with you and and leave it at that yeah this is what i think you should exactly send thank you for i really appreciate your honesty i really enjoyed my time with you see you around yeah yeah good luck good luck around yeah maybe i'll see you around or maybe i'll see you around or something good luck is kind of like kind of jabby. Take care. Take care. I like to take care. Or even maybe leave like the end of just like,

just like. No sign off. Maybe, I really enjoyed my, thanks for being honest. Yeah. I really enjoyed my time. Yeah,

I really enjoyed my time with you. Thanks for being honest. I really enjoyed my time with you. Send. By just saying, thanks for being honest and I enjoyed our time together. Listen, I'm not trying to give you any false hope, but I'm just saying, you're being honest and I enjoyed our time together.

Listen, I'm not trying to give you any false hope, but I'm just saying you're going to leave a good impression. Yeah. As opposed to, in these moments,

you do not want to validate their decision not to hang out with you any longer. So any kind of like, you know, like, thanks for wasting my time would be like you know what yeah i'm good i'm

good i am dodged a bullet are you ready to send it yeah can we type it out oh yeah well i this is a bit oh yeah that's what you signed up for by the way because i know because i also had said to him after he sent that i was like i actually did say thank you for your honesty i can't really articulate a response right now but i'll get back to you and then um so now i'm just like yeah i don't think you said anything then yeah i think then that was a perfect you sent it okay oh just because you said i'll get back to you leave him hanging it's fine yeah he's not he's not sitting around waiting for your follow-up. I promise you. I hope, I'm sorry if that.

No, it's okay. I've realized that. I'm well aware. Yeah. Okay. All right. Well, thanks, Scott. I know it's hard out there, but.

I really want to say though, like for the like early divorced people that all of my friends are in like 10, 15, 20 year marriages. You're it for me as far as dating advice. So thank you because like nobody else can give me any practical advice because they're all married. It sucks. Like where are the single people? I appreciate it. Well, hopefully this was helpful. It was very helpful. Thank you very much. Take care. Take care, you guys. Bye-bye.

Bye. How's it going? Okay, pretty good. Thank you. How. Take care. Take care, you guys. Bye. How's it going? Okay, pretty good. Thank you. How are you? Good. What's your name? My name is Kendall.

Hi, Kendall. How old are you? I am 42. Okay. How can I help? Or how can we help? Yeah. New, I guess, new dating relationship.

And was online. Took it offline. And good compatibility. This is after numerous dates. So finally found somebody that was compatible with and talking about everything, you know, marriage, trips, retirement. And so it's going very well. At this past week,

just communication has been kind of dwindling and distant. And I guess it's kind of like I would ask questions and there would be avoidance. I'm like, what are you up to tonight? You know, and just kind of because we would do nightly calls

like wine nights and talk for five hours. Like, what are you up to tonight? No response. And so another time I said, you know, why don't you follow me on Instagram? I'm giving my Instagram handle, no response. And so the next calls were, you know, I'm sorry, I'm so busy at work and I'll take you through my day. And anyways, kind of avoidance. So this last text conversation was, he gives me a lot of information and this then just trails off and doesn't respond to the, what are you up to tonight? So I guess, what am I doing wrong? Or what should my next response be? I just said, I kind of got frustrated and just said, nice,

my last response. All all right so here are the text messages with you asked him how's your weekend going and then he replied back and i think this is the detail you're referring to just dropped off my just dropped my son off it was daddy weekend for me we went to a park and got uh got out of the house last Last night we watched boxing in UFC. I swear he knows what's going on. How was your weekend? And you reply, how cute. He's going to be a little boxer.

Smiley face. My weekend's good. Went to a birthday party. I'm going to get a roommate. So sorted things out with them. Today's a chill day out walking in self-care what are you up to this evening uh and i'm assuming you're you're getting fresh because like you asking him is you're kind of hoping maybe he shows an interest in hanging out with you or doing something with you is my

guess yeah even if it's just a phone conversation because this is kind of uh we were kind of getting into details of talking so just like a um we do facetime a lot okay how long have you guys been seeing each other uh it's just about a month okay okay but you've been on a few dates and you're like facetiming a lot right okay uh and then he replies back i'm thinking about getting one in a year depending on if i relate relocate for two or three more years to my next role right what did that have to do with your question oh i think about yeah and you just wrote, nice. Oh, right. Because he responded to your getting a roommate, and you wanted him to respond to,

what are you up to this evening? Right, the actual question. I don't think you did anything wrong. But I think, but if I were to, like, give a note, instead of, like, ask the questions you want the answers to i mean granted you did want to know what he was up to this weekend but what you really wanted to know was did he want to hang out right yeah and so i think in the future that's the question you should ask yeah because so you're not disappointed that he's not reading your your mind um just be like hey you want to hang this week

like what what they would work best for you because something like that what are you up to this evening or weekend i get it like it seems like he it should be obvious to him but he could it was a lead-in he could just be like i don't know this is what i'm up to i don't have plans we didn't have plans to hang out um and and you wrote nice so like he did respond to your conversation and then you just wrote nice so what do we know we know that he's like not super into like continuing conversation uh you're not at the top forefront of his mind uh like again this kind of reminds me it's very similar to the situation with ally it's like it's probably safe to assume that you're slightly more excited about hanging out with him than he is about you yes that that

doesn't mean he's not excited but it's better to just be like open with that sometimes and I think that's hard too because you don't want to like I don't know you don't want to like open yourself up to that and be too vulnerable but like sometimes it's more helpful to be like like we were talking about on friday like oh i i was really excited for this date and would love to plan something as opposed to like what are you up to like just putting it out there and it's scary but you're you're disappointed anyways because he's not reading your mind you might as well be disappointed because you know the answer and also i think like not letting like the fear and insecurity like overpower like the connection that you guys had because then that will – it's only been a month. So you will automatically kind of start making someone take a couple steps back if they were interested.

If they're like, oh, okay, well, I was with my son. I just didn't respond. And if you start getting like berated with with text and stuff like out of kind of insecurity then it makes people take a step back so i would just like be very just like kind of like a facetime site no cool like yeah okay well maybe this week or like maybe tomorrow let me know yeah something like that so when this came up when i was when this came up when we were talking with ali i was i asked her like why aren't you more interested in like like why don't you just chase him a little bit if you know that

you're excited about him uh which is a common question because i it feels like listen like more guys are comfortable with chasing it seems like traditionally more women are used to being chased there's a whole like kind of societal kind of expectation that comes down from that but i can't chase all right listen like the game is changing so we have to kind of approach the playbook a little bit differently you know and like here is this guy again, he might be full of shit. I don't know. But he's like, I want to date more intentionally. You know, he's going through therapy.

It could be in his head about like, maybe he's thinking to himself, I don't know. Like, I like her, but like, do I like her enough? I don't want to lead her on. And he's getting all in his head about this. Maybe he's pulling back because he's thinking, I need to be in love with her or I have to be really excited about her to chase her because I don't want to be accused of, you know,

leading her on or things like that. So it's like, it can get confusing for both parties. So I just think in these situations, and we kind of came up with the saying over the weekend, I think in today's world, the excited person should be the one who chases. If you know that you're excited about someone and it seems pretty clear that they aren't matching your excitement level, it's still early on. You could go on one more date and hate him and he could be obsessed with you for all you know. Things can change so quickly this early on, but right

now, you know, you're excited a little bit more than him. So like on some level, if you want to pursue this, you, I think you should, I guess, chase or pursue a little bit. So like your next test message should, I think you should be pretty clear about what you want. Your next text message should, I think, it should be pretty clear about what you want. And I think it would be something like what we, hey, let's plan a, how many dates have you actually been on? If you're counting FaceTime dates.

No. No. In person dates. In person. Well, that's, I'd say two. Okay, you've been on two. All right. So only two. So I would say, let's plan another date. I'd love, I'd say two. Okay. You've been on two. All right. So only two. So I would say, uh, let's plan another date.

I'd love to see you again. Yeah. And we decided like, let's plan is great because you're not saying plan me another date or let's like something you're doing together. Let's plan another date. What do you like? And then you kind of like, when are you free? What would you like to do?

You're both bouncing. It keeps the conversation going yeah you can determine whether like they're you know like yeah let's get together or if he says he's busy and now if you say let's plan another date and you text that and he comes back with a vague response of some kind like oh not this week or this week is super busy i'll let you know i'll let you know then i think it's time to like because okay if he wants to hang out with you he might be busy but he'll say oh this week's really busy but how about next week yeah at a minimum he should give you a day but like it shouldn't be some other time in the future like what does that mean yeah soon soon is

not like trying to reschedule like it should be i can't this week but i'd love to see you again you should be he should go out of his way to show that he is in fact at least wanting to see you again right uh and so if you want to hang out like say you want to hang out. If you want to FaceTime, let's FaceTime tonight. Don't ask him. I think that a lot of people in your shoes do that. You'll say, you want him to ask you. It's like,

I want him to chase. I don't want to be chased. So I'll just be like, what are you doing tonight? Because I want to hang out because I want him to say, let's FaceTime tonight. I want him to want to do do it just me telling you this is like

you know you're like just say what you want and I was kind of um I was kind of wanting after I asked the what are you up to tonight it was kind of a lead-in because if he responded I would have said um you know FaceTime went you want to FaceTime, but he just kind of disappeared. Well, you wrote nice, which is kind of like passive aggressive. Nice. I don't know. I'll let her sleep this one off. She sounds a little irritated. She's in a mood. I'm not like, I'm just, again, it's text message. We don't read text, how people send it. We read it how we feel.

So like depending on the mood he was in or the type of day he had, maybe that nice felt passive aggressive. Maybe it didn't, I don't know. But you stopped texting and then he stopped texting. You could have just as easily responded back after that text when he said, I'm thinking about getting a roommate, blah, blah, blah, blah.

You could have said, let's FaceTime tonight. Let's grab dinner this week. Let's plan a second date. You didn't. Yeah, I wouldn't feel bad at all about sending him a text like that, just saying, let's plan a date this week when you're free. Something very easy that's not being pushy, it's not being aggressive, It's not being anything.

It's just if he's interested, he'll be like, Thursday. Or how about Thursday? Or this week is swamped, but next week, let's whatever day. Like, I mean, he'll say that. Otherwise, you're going to kind of know if he's putting you off or not. Yeah. But just be confident about it. Not like, I mean.

I just think, yeah yeah this early on yeah like be careful not to try to enforce the expectations you haven't clarified with them like we we like people then we get all this excitement we start expecting things from them they have no idea what we expect you are many married in your head. I mean, for most women, it's like, I mean, you're like, you're already planning the dress. You're planning all this stuff. And they're like, wait, what? What's happening?

So if you are aware. Women are crazy. And it's like, it's okay to have like, hey, I want this. I hope this happens. I hope this happens. But just be careful that you know the difference between things that you are hoping happens and things that you've articulated to them as like an expectation. You've been like, hey, this is what I expect.

You know, like I expect a guy to do this or this is what I want out of a relationship and I don't do this or this. If you've expressed it, then you can enforce it. And if you haven't expressed it, they don't know. And I would say express it like when you sit down when you go on the next day or talk to them do it over the phone not via text because like like you said the text messages come off harsh sometimes or just like not as you mean it to come off so i would i would do that part in person just to yeah as far as honest about you not

anything with him but just like this is what you want and this is what you expect in a relationship and so if he's cool with it great if not but I think your next text is I'd love to plan another date like let's plan another date yeah let's plan another date for this week when are you free

or I think you've got the whole week ahead of you so he has like seven days to choose from so I think you've got the whole week ahead of you so he is like seven days to choose from so i i i don't i think you should leave out the when are you free with the first text just let's plan a date this week let's i'd love to see you let's plan another date okay that's what you send oh that's good advice i appreciate it it's are you gonna send it are you gonna send it i will just just just for you guys i'll do it send it send it i'll take the dare okay i'll take the dare okay all right well let us know

what happens but send us an update again if see if he wants to plan the date and then if not then on the date maybe you can do the whole check-in just be like tell me like i like you what right i want to keep doing this you want to but like you're you're analyzing his activity and then making assumptions about his interest where you could just ask him, ask him. Right. Yeah. And he'll tell you, you know, and he'll might throw in things like maybe,

and I'm, you know, and he's, he'll, he'll give you the busy excuse if he doesn't, if he's not interested. So you already know what the rejection is going to look like. So. Right.

You have nothing to lose. You have nothing to lose and you can just be like, yeah, he's busy. Okay. Okay. That's what I would say. Alrighty. All right.

Good luck. Thank you so much. Let us know if it works. All right. Thank you so much. All right. Bye-bye. Bye.

Take care. Bye-bye. Successful office hour sex. Yeah. I think she's going to send, I want to make them send it. I feel like the new rules. I feel like everyone's like

super, super hesitant to do it. I feel like the new rules is like, well, we don't want to scare them off, but we want to, we want to.

But why would, what else are they planning to send? Like, like. Yeah. It's like, if you're coming on the show,

you know you need to send it. Yeah. Like, and then you've been like, anxious. But we're hoping to actually make it a much response than than some long thing where they're like pouring their hearts out or something it's like this is good for you and i think all those little words matter like i don't the reason why i don't think she should say like when are you free because

like that's not the tone of that conversation she's opening up a new one and it could sound a little um a little okay see it's good i'm nitpicking but a little like again he could just be you know if i don't know this guy it might it could seem aggressive to him which i know is i'm i'm totally nitpicking but like he you. I feel like because then he would have to say like, let's plan something because otherwise he could just say, yeah, let's do that. And then it's like, then you have to still say, okay, so when works for you? And then you're still asking it, but he could be very evasive. It keeps the conversation going. Oh, okay. All right.

Fair enough. Well, again, like if he is evasive, then you know. Then you know, yeah. You know, but like, I'd love to hang out. When are you free? I'm just saying from a guy's point of view, it could come across as, I think it's the opposite.

You always hear sometimes, you've heard the cliche, don't ask, let's get together for dinner as a guy. It sounds more assertive. Like, Tuesday. Oh my God, I guess I'm going on a date on tuesday and i think it's because again the chasing part but like men aren't as used to being chased either yeah so i think as uncomfortable as women can be with chasing i think sometimes men

yeah also can be no they can be i think they can be uncomfortable with it oh really i i don't not always but i think sometimes they can be a little you know okay they can be like oh i should be the one chasing or whatever i mean i think these old school stereotypes exist for a reason like if if women are so reluctant to be chased which seems to be still a common thing i think a lot of men still are often not used to being chased yes they like to like almost push back a little bit but like oh well i mean like yeah yeah that's it wednesday you know because i decided on wednesday because you asked for tuesday like i just think it's yeah because i think it's like comes with like the clingy narrative yeah of like wanting to kind of

like shut that down right away and not create false expectations instead of being like a like a powerful woman like you know what you want and like a service like okay well i want to go on a date with you so let's we don't have to follow these uh old school rules little dance where i pretend i'm like coy about it yeah but then you could be yeah like stalkish stalkerish and clingy i'm in a room with three accomplished uh uh smart boss women but all have acknowledged to me that they're like yeah but i please chase i like to be which is totally fine i'm just saying clearly we have like just years and years and years of like this like conditioning conditioning of this is how we do it and i'm just saying men

have also been conditioned to want to chase so i just think like just understanding that gives them a a little bit of yeah room to feel like they're doing something. We're going to wrap it up with some rapid fire, Mary. Okay. Just some fun questions about you and your castmates. Okay. But you have to give an answer. Okay. No maybes.

Okay. It's really easy. Are there going to be someone here like, you're like, she's definitely going to say maybe. Who would you want to trade closets with? Chris Schell. Chris Schell. I feel like we all kind of guessed that, right? Christine has some good items though. maybe. Who would you want to trade closets with? Chris Shaw. Chris Shaw. I feel like we all

kind of guessed that, right? Christine has some good items though. She has some unique stuff. They seem like specific for Christine where it's like

that might look good on you and it's flashy but I don't know if I'd wear it. Yeah, Amanda is my best friend and I still like, I can't pull that off.

I'm not. You're not going to do the long pigtails? No, like it just, I would look like I'm trying too hard. It's just not the long pigtails. No, like, it just wouldn't, I would look like I'm trying too hard. It's just not me.

It's, no. Who would you want to be your realtor? Jason. What if it wasn't Jason? Chris Shell. Okay.

Who did you have the worst first impression of? They could be your best friend now. First impression. Like, who were you at first from like,

I don't know. Or maybe they surprised you, too. Chelsea. Who's the most different from their public perception? You can include yourself in that too. It might be me actually. Why?

I guess at work and when I'm out, I'm very like open and very like on point and love to like interact with fans and viewers and stuff like that that but i have like um i kind of have a little bit of social anxiety too um only since i think the show started because i didn't realize it before there weren't like crowds of people around but um but yeah but i can look like i'm one way and i'm like hey because i want to make sure everyone gets a good experience but then i'm like i'm exhausted i'm like oh gosh and I have to go and I I like just like staying at home sitting at like watching tv and and hanging out with Romaine just like very very private um but then the only time people see me like on Instagram or anything like that I'm out like all these events and stuff so they have one perception of of who I am and what I do and then but the like the real me is like, when all my work is done, I'm like,

oh, I'm just chilling. I'm going to be in sweats and my hair is pulled up, no makeup. And I'm happy. Who's the funniest? Amanda. Why? Oh, that girl is a riot. She keeps me laughing all the time. She just is so quick witted. I'll show you guys a video she did the other day. She just doesn't care about what anybody thinks or says. And she just is so quick. And her just energy is just so happy and just entertaining.

She's a riot. Who would you describe as your work wife or husband or spouse? Jason. We all saw that coming. Yeah. My husband's okay with that though. He called you babe, Jason, on the show. Oh yeah.

I know. We call each other babe all the time. And your husband's okay with that? How is that? We actually had this conversation last week about like when you're in a relationship, what are the boundaries when it comes to like words of affirmation or other like affection type words of, I don't know, I'm an idiot, but you know what I'm saying. Yeah.

Well, we have had that conversation before where Romain has been like, I mean, I would prefer if you don't call him babe because something came up where someone was mad about something. I was like, what? You don't care, do you? He's like, well, I would prefer if you guys don't do that yeah and he's like i mean i know you guys have done that since day one but but we all say it to each other we like if you're in a room there's like 20 people in there we're like hey babe babe babe babe babe babe

like to everybody so it's not like one person but then we also say i love you and so i'm like i after a while but he says love you bro so now we're just okay with it but yeah it's not like one person but then we also say i love you and so i'm like i after a while but he says love you bro so now we're just okay with it but yeah it's probably best not to say it's funny when you like identify yourself as like i'm not a jealous person but even when you say that there's you seems like you then you get tested for it yeah it's like you remember like being like well i'm not a jealous person and i guess like I recognize like I'm not actually worried. Yeah. But like, yeah, I'd prefer you not to like. It's not normal.

I don't like it. I just don't like, I'm not worried about it. But I'd love not to like have even, I would never, I'd like to not ask myself if I should be worried about it. Yeah. You know. Yeah. All right.

And final one, which is probably the most important. Who would you be okay with or who would you prefer to marry your son? Like, obviously, it's not going to. Like, not age. Not. Kind of pending age situation. Heather. She's already married, but Heather.

But the personality would be someone you'd. Why Heather? Why Heather? Because she is like an angel. She is like the most loving, caring. She is an amazing wife, an amazing woman. And she just, I know my son would be looked after and loved like every single piece of him, like until the day he dies. What a nice compliment for Heather.

Yeah. You're going to be making vegan Thanksgiving. That's okay. That's all right. Yeah, my son might not like it, but he'll get used it uh mary yeah thank you so much for coming thank you what a pleasure uh where uh can the people find you on social uh the mary fitzgerald on i think ig and tiktok and everything else i think i think it's the mary fitzgerald the mary for sure all right any final thoughts you want to share with the audience before we let you go? Other than obviously watch the reunion.

Yeah, everybody watch the reunion. Keep binging season five so we can get a season six. It's not a certainty yet? I thought you renewed for a season six. I know. It's out there a lot that we're renewed, but Netflix hasn't given a green light yet, but it's all based on

the viewership. Is that like number one on Netflix right now? Yeah. So, I mean, we a green light yet but it's all based on the the viewership um is that like number one on netflix yeah so i mean we're pretty sure but let's just make it solid like you don't want to risk anything i know i don't know is number one good netflix is it good i don't know like it's all right it's okay uh well thank you so much for coming we appreciate it thank you guys for listening don't forget to subscribe, review, five stars. We'd appreciate it. And anything else? If you want help writing a text, join Office Hours.

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