The Viall Files - E429 Going Deeper - Game Night Explained, Kim & Pete, with Fibula

Episode Date: June 2, 2022

Welcome back to The Viall Files, Going Deeper edition! Today we are joined by social media star, Connor Wood, aka Fibula! On this episode we reconnect with Connor to recount the controversial game night drama, being set up for a TikTok, how Nick rejected Connor’s coffee, and Fibula is ready for love. We also break down the latest with Pete Davidson’s new hair color, why couples start to dress like each other, and the Mona Lisa getting smashed with a cake. We then welcome our Texting Office Hours caller where she’s asking advice about how to ask out a friend who she’s developed a crush on. With both of them in a small group of LGBTQ+ friends, she finds it’s hard to determine friendship from flirtation. On this Texting Office Hours we have our caller send the text on-air, shooting her shot to see if she can light that spark.  “I’ve always been very European in that way.” Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to [e-mail] to be a part of our Monday episodes.  If you would like to get some advice on Office Hours send an email to [e-mail] with “ Office Hours” in the subject line!  Pre-Order Nick’s Book: https://www.abramsbooks.com/product/dont-text-your-ex-happy-birthday_9781419755491/ Check out our new "Introvert" merch at http://www.viallfiles.com today! THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: Helix Sleep: Get $200 of all mattress orders and two free pillows when you go to http://www.HelixSleep.com/VIALL Noom: Sign up for your trial at http://www.Noom.com/VIALL  Curology: Get a free 30-day trial when you go to http://www.Curology.com/VIALL and pay $5 shipping and handling. Cancel anytime. Prescription subject to consultation. Episode Socials:  @viallfiles @nickviall @fibulaa @fibula See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

what's going on everybody welcome back to another exciting episode of the vile files going deeper edition i am your host nick joined by amanda in studio ali uh still on covid watch i would watch that's fun that makes me sound like a like i live in a lighthouse or something covid watch what part of your place are you in right now i shifted some furniture around so i now have an office area an eating area and a couch and living room area in addition to my bedroom area all in a studio and I'm very proud of myself you have a studio place studio yeah but like it's like your bedroom is like there's a wall that's not like all the way but it like mostly separates so I feel like it has one bedroom layout like one bedroom if they took

the door off the hinges my I had an apartment in Milwaukee. I loved it. Probably one of my favorite places I ever lived. And it was like this warehouse loft type of like renovation. And after my girlfriend and I broke up, the place I had was like, it was kind of too big. And I moved upstairs and it was like, it was a loft. So it had no, it just had a kitchen. And so I put like, yeah, it had, it was the coolest fucking place.

And I put up like these old fashioned doors and I like sectioned like a room. Yeah. But like, it was all just one open area. I fucking loved it. It it was and it was like 1200 square feet oh my god no it was like 1100 like it's just just north of a thousand that's like a home it was milwaukee anyway um i suppose you can do a lot but i loved decorating it but it looks very clean i guess this is all i'm saying what's going on in your world other than ali having um covid watch i was very excited about celtics winning game seven i also feel like it was the first time

my boyfriend saw me at a boston sports event so i feel like it was like full moon for my werewolf sports fan self and i was honestly was kidding. He'd probably like that. At one point he said, quote, if you're rude to the Miami fans, I'm not paying for your dinner. I wasn't being rude. I literally wasn't. Are you an obnoxious fan?

Are all Boston fans obnoxious? I don't think I was being obnoxious. Like, honestly. What does that mean why did he have to warn you because i was jokingly i was like i was to him no it was a joke though well to him i was like famously okay so then when we went to vegas like three months into dating i had poor etiquette and i told a dealer to eat shit in like a very positive fun. I was like,

eat shit. I won blackjack. But he was like, you can't say that. Like that is so, and I was like, Oh my, I was very embarrassed.

And so I think you said it playfully, very playfully, very playfully. Like I'm not trying to like start a fight with people. And then there were a ton of Miami fans. And he lectured you on, on blackjack etiquette. No, he was just like, he was like,

you can't talk back to the dealers like that. I don't gamble enough to know, but I feel like you can. Apparently it's poor form. I guess. But yeah, there were a lot of Miami fans at the bar. There was like me and one other person clapping when Boston scored. I was just like, I was excited.

And I was, I think, I don't know. I think any of my protests against. Do you talk smack? Yeah. But not to other fans. Only to the person I'm with. I'm like, oh, wow, it's so cute that he finally got a free throw in. Like, you know, like stuff like that.

But I'm only saying it to the person I'm next to. Not being like antagonistic to other patrons. He wasn't a a miami fan no he doesn't care at all he does not watch sports are boston fans like notorious for being spirited spirited that's how i would describe it i would say spirited committed loyal energetic um you can be all those things defensive yeah okay you can be all those things and still be

rowdy and Packer fans are all those things and yet still gracious and welcoming

and nice what do you mean by that I mean they're not pricks and I don't I'm not saying Boston fans are pricks you're suggesting you're suggesting heavily implying it

well you are i think boston sports fans are spirited and i think a lot of people talk i think that's the thing is that it's like it's like is it trash talking if someone says something like really like needle needle needle antagon needle, antagonism, chirp. And then finally you say something back. It's like people, at the end of the day, I think it's a different. Are you starting it? And are you gracious in defeat? I think I'm pretty, I try to be very playful with it.

I'm not sold. I feel like you're. Yeah, you know what? Okay. Sometimes I'm a little bit of a monster. But it's all in good fun. And it's usually to men who think I don't know anything about sports. And so I think they're just like laughing.

You know what I mean? I don't know. I'm not trying to actually start something. I'm just trying to... Yeah, actually, okay. I'm realizing in real time like now that I go back rolling the tapes in my head I don't back down we're all works in progress you know

great episode we do have a great episode Connor is with us today Connor Wood also known as Fibula he needs to like just figure it out and go with one you press him on this also known as Fibula. He needs to just figure it out and go with one. We press him on this. Also, what a great texting office hour call today. Oh, my God. Electrifying.

Electrifying. Really exciting. We finally get to the bottom of game night with Connor. Yes. Which is... A much-needed confrontation. Yeah, much. Is that it? Yeah, we talked some Kim KP Davidson stuff. Some Mona Lisa. a much needed confrontation yeah much is that it?

yeah we talked some Kim K Pete Davidson stuff some Mona Lisa cake situations great let's get to Connor Connor welcome hey Nick do you go by Connor or Fibula now these days? my friends don't like it but I a lot of people don't know my name is Connor they don don't know so like in public i fully respond to fibula both i saw my friends

hate me i saw a tiktok over the weekend yeah here we we're doing this we're getting right into it um i'm assuming i know what you're talking about it was at the 10 minutes later tick tock yeah that's the one i mean i thought it was charming thank you yeah so it's harmless it's fun i was asked to do that for a photo i didn't know someone was filming um someone asked you for a kiss so to preface this is a podcast uh i saw a tick tock of a young lady saying uh i met fibula if you've gone out the night before and then you wake up 8 a.m., 9 a.m. on a Saturday and your phone has 15 texts, one from your high school group text, one from your college group text, one from your current friend group text, and it's all the same link to the same TikTok, probably... Were you nervous? Did you know what it was or were you like, am I canceled? No, it was so harmless

because i like at that time so to preface it's a it's a video of a a girl made it several videos actually just one of them went viral if you scroll through she made several yeah and it's uh she basically like asked me for a photo and i had had a couple drinks one birthday weekend you know like whatever had a couple beers and she was like will you please like can we kiss on the lips for a photo and i was like i don't care sure yeah you got set up and then her friend was next to us filming the moment the magic moment um yeah it's harmless i really don't care i that's kind of wrong. You got set up. It is what it is. It used to happen like a lot more last summer, that exact situation. And then it became-

Were you a target for this? Yeah. Was it like the rumor on the street is if you ask Fibula for a kiss, he'll kiss you? Oh, geez. Yeah. I guess. But I mean, it's all fun. Because I've always been very European in that european in that way european very worldly

okay approachable you know but okay yeah approachable i think approachable to a fault like i'm gonna end up being too approachable that i just vanish so she made several videos about this that's kind of there was two i her less now. I don't think she meant anything by it, but I do have some beef with the algorithm. That being that it's my job to make TikToks and I can't get even a half as many views

as someone that makes a video about you. About me. Yeah. But more power, I'm proud of her because she did kill it with that video.

I feel like the algorithm every once in a while that says, you know what? You've had some success recently. We're just going to slow you down. You're like, stay humble. Helix Sleep, the best sleep you'll ever have.

I don't know what more I can say than I already have. It's truly the best mattress I've ever slept on. I love my mattress. It's amazing. And I've never had a mattress that I am so thankful to come home to whenever I'm traveling. I always consider myself to be home to whenever I'm traveling. I always consider myself to be able to sleep on any mattress. I always consider myself to be kind of a low

maintenance sleeper, but boy, having a Helix mattress is like flying first class for the first time. Like once you sleep on it, everything else feels like economy. They have a mattress for everyone. They make it super easy to find that mattress. And the buying process is incredible. I mean, you just go on their website, you take a quick quiz. It takes like two minutes or less to complete it. It matches with your body type and your sleep preferences. I'm a slide sleeper myself. I got the Midnight, I believe, is the mattress I have. Everybody is unique and Helix knows that. So they have several different mattress models to choose from. They have soft, medium, and firm mattresses.

A mattress is great for cooling you down if you sleep hot, and even have Helix Plus mattresses for plus-size sleepers. So if you want the best sleep you've ever had, get your Helix Sleep On. Just go to helixsleep.com slash V-I-A-L-L. Take their two-minute sleep quiz, and they'll match you to a customized mattress. They'll give you the best sleep of your life. Oh, and a bonus, Helix is offering $200 off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners at helixsleep.com. That's helixsleep.com for up to $200 off and two free pillows.

Noom. pillows. Noom. Unlike other programs, Noom uses a psychology-based approach to help people better understand their relationship with food. And whatever your goals are when it comes to your wellness and fitness and your dietary desires, Noom can help you get there because it is based in psychology. A psychological approach is based on scientific principles like cognitive behavioral therapy, which helps people better understand their relationship with food and build sustainable habits that last a lifetime. Noom understands that building long-term positive habits can be hard and filled with ups and downs, and that's why Noom believes in progress, not perfection. So regardless of whatever your goals are, maybe you want to gain weight, lose weight, build muscle mass, or just generally have more

energy, just feel better. It doesn't matter what it is. Noom can help you get there. Shavings make a pile. That's what I love about them. As I get older, I just want to maintain my fitness level. It's becoming more and more important to be mindful of what I put in my body because it affects how I feel. And Noom is helping me do that while still enjoying food and enjoying life. Start building better habits today. Sign up for your trial at noom.com slash V-I-A-L-L. That's N-O-O-M dot com slash V-I-A-L-L to sign up for your trial today.

So, should we get into game night and you section me right off the bat? Okay. Let's do it. When did you find out? I got texted. Well, I got a DM the morning that that your episode was posted and the dm was mr vile nick vile's talking shit about you on his podcast today that's what you and i was like well hang on hang on and i was like excuse me and i like went and

listened i was like oh he wasn't talking shit i fucking hate people i know i was like that gave me like my heart dropped and i'm like i'm not gonna go like no that, he wasn't talking shit. I fucking hate people. I know. I was like, that gave me like, my heart dropped and I'm like, I'm not going to go. No, that shit happens all the time. And I don't know if you know this, but we talk some Bachelor on this show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm almost certain that like more than 80% of the time

where a peer of mine gets mad at me for something I said on the podcast, it's because they get a message like that from a fan who says, Nick's talking shit about you. And I'm like, I'm just having an objective, fair opinion that's mostly riddled with like, probably compliments. And I might say something, I don't know, whatever. Who said that? It was just a, it was It was just a DM request. And then I went back and was like, yeah. It was a fan.

Yeah. It was just. And I was like, oh, that wasn't shit talking. That was just like. It was very normal language. But it warranted a response from me. So I was like, hey, that wasn't shit talking. She was like, oh, I just re-listened.

It's totally not. It's like when people comment on videos. I don't know if you ever get this but it's like this sucks and it's like oh why would you say that and then it's like you comment back and they're like oh i didn't think you'd respond like i love you and i'm like you just ruined like 20 minutes of my day with that yeah you know i put a lot of work into that and like i'm like shoot Why does it suck? One person in the middle of nowhere hates me. Who did you think wrote cuckold? Well, did you preface this whole thing with the cuckold thing? First of all, it was spelled wrong.

Yeah, I know. Second of all, it looked like a ransom. It looked like you wrote it with your left hand. I am left-handed. Well, it looked like you wrote it with your foot. Right hand. Well, it looked like you wrote it with your foot. So I, I, we were all enjoying a variety of beverages and, you know, I was, and we're playing this game and I was thinking to myself, whatever, like I'll, I'll have two like lazy words, like whatever.

And then I thought we were going to spice it up and it came to mind and i'm not a good speller but the funny thing is is that it's missing a few letters well like what did they call in first grade make believe spelling that really resonated with me you never has had that i haven't heard that either no ali's looking at me weird too it was like first and second grade when you know when you put a spell yeah and they were just like yeah just spell it however they just make believe stretch it out just how you think it's spelled that's how it's spelled yeah what kind of school did you go to i never read i never graduated from make-believe spelling um that's right anyway so we're playing we're playing and i truly like it like i panicked yeah because i'm like first i thought i'm not super close with like all these people so i don't

know how how sexually liberated they are and then i was just like wait i think i spelled it wrong too so i had a nightmare in my head about what happened. And then it was the last one. And you, yeah, you made my nightmare come true. Well, luckily it's an anonymous game. It's the fishbowl game where you write out, you know, it's like trades. You write out words and it's anonymous. So like we, no one would have known.

And no one did know that you wrote that. But I get this word and everyone's looking at me. And I also met a couple of the people that were there that but i get this word and everyone's looking at me and i also met a couple of the people that were there that night and i'm like there's no because everything else was like laying an egg doing a handstand it was all just nothing words this one was a fishing cuckold i was like i don't like i've only heard this word like maybe you know you used to say that in college like oh you're a cuck whatever i'd never seen it written down i don't like, I've only heard this word like maybe, you know, you used to say that in college, like, oh, you're a cuck, whatever. I'd never seen it written down, I don't think. And I was like, there's no way.

I was trying to, I was trying to do your make-believe spelling class in my head. I was like, there's no, like, what else could this be? Like, and it was like literally nothing else. And I was like, I can't say this in front of you guys. And then I had to explain what a cuckold was. And no one obviously passed it. You made it way worse than it needed to be. I couldn't say this in front of you guys. And then I had to explain what a cold cold was. And no one obviously made it way worse than it needed to be. I couldn't, I was drenched in sweat up there on the,

in the front of the stage in front of all you guys. I was like, are we doing this now? And then you're right. Like once you opened up, once the can of worms, everyone was just like, the balls,

herpes. And it was like hemorrhoids. It was just like the craziest shit. And everyone was laughing and having a good time. Meanwhile, the whole time, everyone was like, who wrote Cuckold? Oh, it was coming up. Every 10 seconds, it was like, we got to get to the bottom of this thing. And then it was like, it turned in from like,

Shreds into like, Solve the Murder Mystery. Yeah, like Secret Hitler. Secret Hitler. But like with Cuckold. Yeah. I was like, I'm not saying it i was cuckold i thought i was gonna get canceled by my friends no but like once you did that i really let loose i'll be honest i wrote some nasty shit in fishbowl like probably what were some of your words oh let

me think it was uh queefing the abcs which i thought was brilliant um because it's really hard to act that one out believe it or not i can't remember that one was that one i mean it just like opened the floodgates and everything else was like coochie doctor coochie doctor um yeah i can't remember what else but it was it was funny i thought i thought it made it more fun did matt ever find out that he was once accused and then vindicated yeah he found out uh i forgot i told him but yeah he fully was like the scapegoat for you yeah well i thought natalie was gonna out me because like did natalie know the whole time the the next day we're in the hot tub and she she just like randomly goes so what were your words and i go i was cuckold immediately everybody was

thinking about it it was something that was on everybody's mind i think she suspected it was me because she knows i'm a terrible speller yeah that was the only like if it was like my like some of my like friends who have known me for a while i think i would have been outed just because i also don't think they would have made such a big deal about it but i would have been outed just because I also don't think they would have made such a big deal about it but I would have been outed for my spelling. Yeah. No. I thought it was really funny. And I feel like Matt's the type of guy who's never spelled a word wrong in his life. He does

seem that way. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like he writes in cursive. He's one of Spelly B. He's one of Spelly B or two in his life. I feel like. Yeah. He's got that like East Coast Harvard vibe about him. Totally. You know the Ezra Koenig. The book smart. Yeah. He's got that East Coast Harvard vibe about him. Totally. You know, the Ezra Koenig.

The book smart. Yeah. So what's new? What have you been up to? Really nothing. Obviously, we have a podcast now, too, and we're podcast peers. We're actually trying to keep up with you.

And we need to have you on, actually. I mean, whenever you want to invite me, you're here twice. I know. I know. And i was scared that this was going to be a fight club situation that i was going to get here and you were just going to beat my ass why i don't know because i was like do i scare you you used to scare me why i don't know the i don't know if you remember the first time you had me on and we just kind of like you know we'd never met and so we met for the first time in the studio. I brought you a coffee and you came in

and walked right past it. You didn't tell me. No one told me about the coffee. I brought, was anyone? I was there. I was there.

I know, I was going to say, like I told, I brought that. But no one told me about it. He came in with two coffees and then we taped one because we weren't sure

about the logo of if we were allowed to have like a huge Starbucks logo on the show. And then afterwards, someone's like, oh, he brought you a coffee and i was like oh yeah i told you that yeah it was for you i like i looked i mean i looked into what kind of coffee you like and i was like oh like you like black coffee yeah but usually people are like when they bring you a coffee it's like i brought you a coffee i'm'm shy. Recently, though, I don't know if it's like an age thing or like I have cancer, but when I get tired, I need to go home.

I probably shouldn't say if I have cancer. Do you think it's a COVID thing? I think it's a result of COVID. I think for a really long time, everybody was just so fragile that we're now being a lot more honest about being like, I'm not having it and I want to go. Cause like with COVID you, if you want it to end a conversation, like you just kind of had to say it. Like you could lie and be like,

I have another zoom birthday party to go to. But it's like, especially in like lockdown days, it's like, you don't have anywhere else to be like, you just don't want to be on the phone anymore, which is so valid. But I think as a result of that,

and just like generally everyone's mental health deteriorating and us talking about it, it's become a little more normalized to be like i'm not having it i kind of want to leave this is the first year of my life where i've been like no i'm not coming i'm tired like i'm not even gonna leave my house is that is that an age thing because i i'll be honest for i've always i don't remember a time where i i was at a place i didn't want to be remember a time where i i was at a place i didn't want to be i'm always i've always been like it's time for me to go um but i don't know if that's like etiquette or like or age or or or lack of etiquette i guess no i think it's a it's a boundary setting thing i think it's like a healthy thing but i just am getting the hang of it like there's all these things where i lose sleep because i'm

like damn i told them i would go to this thing and they're probably all mad at me right now. And then I see them and they're like, hey, you missed out on nothing. And I was like, oh, I just worried about that for so long. But they didn't care and they didn't miss me. And then I'm like, do they even like me? They didn't even miss me. No one's like, where are you? I need to go back to therapy.

Anxiety is so good at pivoting yeah it's like the second something gets disproved it's already like it's like oh but did you consider this possibility of the way everybody dislikes you right hate being perceived sucks social media has made it worse or have you always you know it has for sure yeah i'm like i'm not gonna drink curology curology is changing the game. Custom skincare made for you by a dermatology provider. So many options out there for your skincare routine, but why not get it from people who really know about skin like dermatologists? They'll create a custom prescription cream for your specific goals, whether that's tackling

acne, clogged pores, skin texture, dark spots, fine lines, or something else. You start by taking a short online quiz and uploading photos. It took me just a few minutes. And if it's a good fit for you, luckily for me, it's a good fit for me, they'll ship you your formula right to your door. And it even has your name on it. I don't know, what can I say? The fact that you don't have to go to a dermatology office is probably my favorite part because I feel like those appointments always take forever. Look at my face. I'm so youthful. You are shockingly youthful.

It's a little bit disconcerting, honestly. Whole Foods and some lady who I'm pretty sure was either my age or younger than me was just like, you youngings. You have the youthful glow. I look great. I do. And why is that, Nick? Curalogy is helping me keep my youthful appearance and hydrate people

and do it with people who know what they're doing. Get started with Curalogy, just like I did with a free 30-day trial at curology.com slash V-I-A-L-L. Just pay $5 for shipping and handling. That's C-U-R-O-L-O-G-Y.com slash V-I-A-L-L to start your free 30-day trial.

Cancel anytime. Prescription subject to consultation. My anxiety has gotten way worse with social media. It is. It's about the idea of it's having to worry about what people think about you

all the time. And especially if if you equate to that at least being part of what you do i remember the first time i ever like thought about like first time i ever heard was when i worked for salesforce and they were like have you thought about your brand i was like what what is at salesforce yeah yeah this was before so i mean it was a tech company obviously and so but like the idea of like your brand and how people perceived you at work yeah was something that you were made to think about which is a you know i guess important for people who are trying

to climb the corporate ladder and i and i was but yeah when you start when you open that can of worms it is it is yeah we're all curious across the bear this personal brand and it's like that's like big responsibility we should all have that on our resume how would you describe your brand like the version of yourself that is most like comfortable with your closest friends like not like a public persona like what elements of the brand exist there I think it's pretty similar honestly like the public versus I'm pretty like cut and dry on social media like I've always done the exact same thing that I'm doing but now it's just it like is on a more public scale like people are seeing it more but like we're talking about approachability I think that because I'm acting exactly the same as I am like mostly on social

media I recently started curated a little bit more um because my mom told me to do that but uh it's it's pretty consistent yeah so that's i and i like it because my friends are well my friends say i'm funnier off of social media than i am on social media but you know relatability doesn't doesn't hit with friends as much as it does like on online so what is your dating life like i've actually been curious about that you asked me this last time and yeah yeah and on the podcast yeah on the pod did you give me like a really rock solid answer yeah i was just like you know i'm not i'm not uh actually last time i was on your pod i was living in orange county and i think it was a lot more active in oc

because it's like a smaller town and it's there was less going on and so i could like focus on it right now i think i'm in now i'm in like more of a is transformative a word transformative like i feel like i'm at it i'm at an interesting point in my life right now where i'm like there's a next step right now for me finally where like i hadn't had that with covid because what do you mean like i think i'm like entering a space where i have more of a mindset to like be in a relationship i haven't for two years three years been kind of more fuck boy mindset no we don't even that much we don't even use that as a bad term it's not derogatory yeah we on this show empowering term no it's just it's just a way things are that people if you participate in hookup culture yeah and and what we mean by that is having sex without like

an established emotional connection which takes time to cultivate not three or four dates or a month of hanging out sure that like people are just kind of hooking up with people they don't know all that much about and like everyone's a fuck boy with all this access to dating people through dating apps and sliding in the dms that everyone's a fuck boy until they meet someone they don't want to be a fuck boy for yeah yeah it's funny it's like as soon as you stop looking for anything like that's when it happens is that's what it seems like also i think that it has something to do with like your friend group because for a while like for the past year my my friend group has just been like we've all been single and whatever and now my friends have started to like move that way and so i think we're all kind of moving that way and you know i'm not gonna like not be interested in

that if that's what all my friends are doing and then it makes more sense for me you know if they're all single then we're all single um i don't have much of an individual personality i'm finding out on this podcast today but we also talk well I'm just like I do I guess I do what everybody else does like all the time do we want to get into pop culture a little bit yeah I'm curious well on the topic of dating so Pete Davidson Kim Kardashian debuted matching bleached hair and I'm curious like what your take is on like how couples can sometimes like morph into one collective fashion brand situation and start to dress similarly or coordinate.

What do you think of that? What do I think of that? I want to start by saying the first thing I do every day is check Snapchat Discover page because that's where I get my news. So I saw this this morning, actually, and otherwise I probably wouldn't have seen it. Snapchat Discover page? Yeah, it's really fascinating the way they curated it.

Are you still on Snapchat? Oh yeah. I have tons of streaks. I know it's... Wow. Yeah. I mean like it's I keep thinking it's going to be like done but it's like, it's thriving. Do you ask new people that you've met recently for their Snapchat?

I don't, no. No. But I like it because it's fun to talk with your friends i have a lot of friends that i don't text every day but we snapchat every day so i i feel like we keep in touch what are you snapchatting about just like funny stuff like waking i don't know like videos that i'm not going to take a video and send it over text you know these both men and women yeah like i have i have friend groups that like we have group, you know, whatever. I also have my, my new year's kiss from 2016 that we've snapchatted every day since,

since our, our kiss in 2016, which is funny. So we have like a several thousand day streak, which is funny. And I, you've only, have you seen her since?

Yeah. I've only hung out with her like a couple of like five times total in however many years, five years. But we have a streak of talking every single day, which is funny. Off the Snapchat, to Pete Davidson and Kim, do they have a name? Keet? Keet.

Keet. Keet. Pim? Pim. Pemberley? Well, okay, so this whole thing, they're pretty, to me, like neither of them were choogy as individuals, but together they've become one collective choog.

Which is, again, because I'm not, that's not like a good thing to be choogy. You know what? It's a bit off-putting, right? I just said this on our podcast. I think that there's going to, i'm calling a trend alert here that i think we're going to see a 180 on on chuggy being negative and then chuggy just being like i think you know it's it's things people enjoy like there's a reason it's chuggy because it's basic or whatever i think that's the new

like millennial term for basic but let people enjoy things you know like they're kind of being a little cringy but they're so happy they've never been happier i love i think it's i don't know why but i've always loved a feminine relationship like dressing the same yeah for fun if for like just yeah to like go out and be that couple yeah that dress is the same ironically it doesn't need to be funny to anyone else if it's funny to you guys or if you like it i i think that's funny i don't know why i i like it but i do yeah i i get the appeal i'm not a pete davidson hater i'm not like one of those guys like you know he's talented he's funny you know he's tall he's you know apparently got a big dick huge penis yeah and uh so i get it i get the appeal but he also he seems like the ultimate like go with the flow guy sure and i feel like he seems like the perfect rebound, although...

It doesn't seem like a rebound anymore. Now it just seems like... How long can a rebound last? I think a rebound can last a year before it's no longer a rebound. I think a rebound, by definition, is a quick turnaround type thing. Like a rebound is like, all right. Okay, I don't think Pete Davis is a quick quick turnaround type thing like a rebound is like all right you know okay i don't think pd is a transition and pd is not a rebound in the uh you just like have sex with a yeah hook up like oversimplify but i feel like he's a it seems like he is a great like transitional

guy i feel like we need a term like like a pendulum situation where it's like the person you date, who's like very, very, very different to your ex in every way, shape and form. And that's a huge part of the appeal. And that doesn't mean it can't like grow into a genuine relationship where you discover compatibility,

but like the beginning is motivated by a very reactive to the breakup. It's like a, it's like a, it's like the revolving door. Like you're going, but it's, it's the it's like a, it's like the revolving door. Like you're going, but it's, it's the, just the one you walk in through the revolving door.

So it's going to take you and it's going to redirect you. Well, cause like I don't roundabout. Yeah. A rotary. I don't know. I don't know Kanye all that well, but rumor on the street is,

is that he is a particular man who has a lot of strong opinions about a lot of things and that sounds like that could be at times challenging yeah in a relationship like maybe like high stress about like trying to like make sure that your very particular opinionated partner right is like comfortable and good yeah and pete seems to that end couldn't be more different where he's kind of like i don't know i care about weed and jokes and like my friends and like the rest whatevs yeah and so i feel like that seems like to be a big appeal of pete davidson's yeah and i think where those two guys align is that I think we've seen it from Pete recently where he was this dude that was like kind of like beat up on himself.

Like if you look at his early standup, he's kind of like, uh, self deprecating, but it's in a funny way. And like, he's like, you know, and like self aware, but self aware. Yeah. But enough to where it like self deprecation can be funny up to a point. And then it's like you need to seek help. But he was good at it. And then we saw him go to SNL just to be Pete Davidson on SNL.

He really didn't do anything else. And then he got famous and he's coming into himself almost. And I feel like those two guys are confident. They exude confidence. Kanye's might be a little bit i don't know i don't know what that is it might be volatile and like yeah i feel like he's not actually confident he's just trying to prove something and pete's confident no kanye then i feel like pete's confident because he's he's coming into himself and he feel he actually feels it and

he exudes it yeah that's the bde actually so someone else made that conclusion way before i did because and now i'm gathering what they were putting together but do you think kim and pete have had sex soon no if they haven't do you i'm just kidding do you think it's maybe they're nervous maybe they're waiting for sure they for sure sleep in the same bed so i guess they could just be sleeping there and not touching yeah but maybe they're re-exploring their bodies they're born again do we think they're gonna last i don't want to what lasts you know what what does lasting mean is it 30 seconds which do you think they'll get married we've all been there or is it a couple years i don't i i don't think they'll get married soon but i think

they will because i think that the trend with like corny and travis who i have a video from a year ago saying they're gonna be a three-month thing they're too like pda intense that doesn't last but prove me wrong so i'm pretty wrong about relationship stuff usually so take my opinion and and rotary head yeah but uh travis and and uh courtney courtney they they were like best friends for a long time yeah and and pete and kim they met on snl so it's not quite the same i feel like travis and and and courtney it's like they were they had a lot of catching up to do. It seems like they were horny for each other for a long time. Yeah.

And then finally broke the seal. And now they can't keep their hands off each other. Broke the seal is an interesting terminology for boning. But I agree. I don't know. No, I think that Kim and Pete could be a couple year relationship. But I don't know if Kim, I think that Kim and Pete could be a couple-year relationship, but I don't know if Kim's the married-right-away type because I feel like she cares a lot about her family

and wouldn't want to rush into anything. I think also how much shit she got for Chris Humphries and that being a 90-day marriage. I forgot about that. Yeah, and people were like, there was a point in time where like, I had dinner with him the other week. Chris Humphries? Why?

Mutuals. Was it fun? I was leaving. He was coming. We were at the same table for about 20 minutes. Nice guy. I don't know. He seems cool. He's very nice. I forgot about him completely. Do we

have any other topics we wanted to cover with Connor? Oh, there's the Mona Lisa cake throwing situation. I don't know if we want to. topics we wanted to cover with Connor? Oh, there's the Mona Lisa cake-throwing situation. I don't know if we want to... That was interesting to me. Someone threw a cake at the Mona Lisa. Did you see that? Fear not. The Mona Lisa was behind bulletproof glass.

Yeah, it was a protest for something. I don't... I'm all for people advocating for change and progress, and that's important. I just, I don't get that. the throwing, there's some,

I feel like, what did you really accomplish? Well, he was speaking in French, so we'll never know what he accomplished. Cause I don't know. And I watched the video and I couldn't, they didn't translate it.

No. And he was dressed up as an old woman in a wheelchair. Like it's nothing was really connecting, but I'm sure to the french people he probably said you got at least one sentence out they weren't as like tackle him and arrest him as i thought they would be well because maybe that's why he dressed up as a woman in a wheelchair he's like who's gonna tackle yeah that's messed up do we know what he was protesting? I think it was environmental activism. Oh, good. Cake will solve that.

I don't, yeah, I don't know. Yeah. What did Mona ever do to the environment? He was speaking in French, but what he said was, as they were like dragging him away, he said, think about the earth. There are people who are destroying the earth. Think about it. All artists think about the earth. This is why I did this artists think about the earth this is why

i did this think about the planet i guess i mean okay i mean certainly we're talking about it sounds like me at 3 a.m trying to have a conversation with somebody at a bar no no think about the earth like artists listen think about the planet the earth and the planet yeah like not actually saying anything but just like really fired up about some activism some some cause while also being told you gotta go you know dude the lights are on go home that made me think about something you know i don't know how much effort like if this was a plan it must it was planned on some point you got a wheelchair you got a costume of a of a of a what a woman a lady of some kind, a wig.

I don't know. Some planning went into this. And I guess I'm just, it's just more like, where is your time best served? Now, granted, he got us talking. Sure, he wins. All press is good press. You know, but not necessarily with him. I also find like there's like on social media, you see this a lot on TikTok.

Yeah. TikTok has become a platform of like creators just like talking shit about other creators. Yeah. And there's a lot of like virtue signaling. Yeah, for sure. And you know, this is wrong and you're doing this wrong and you're doing that wrong.

And I can't help but think to myself, if you guys, you guys guys whoever these people are the virtue signalers if you actually gave a shit about the things that you are saying you give a shit about and criticizing others for either getting wrong or saying or doing something wrong if you put the energy you put into talking shit about these people into like doing the thing about the thing that you are so you claim to give a shit about right and like maybe this world would be like positive and good some progress progress yeah we talk a lot these fucking like so many creators on tiktok are out there just like obsessed with other creators and what to me looks like they're just jealous of

some and it's always the same it is always the person they talk shit about is someone who kind of like resembles what they do or yeah yeah i know i think it is like a passive situation where they're like look at what they're not doing and it's like well you're doing something but it's also not doing the thing that you're accusing them of not doing and it's like if you like the, yes, imagine all the energy or things that you could accomplish if you channel that energy into like the thing that you're, you claim to be passionate about. Right.

And, uh. No, I totally agree. That's always been like a hotspot for me because, you know, every time something happens and people are looking at, you know, what is this person? It's like, why don't we all i mean this is like a totally separate thing but there's so much crap evil shit going on all the time and it's like we almost need to be like split up into like progress groups like because everybody can't be everywhere all the time you know you can't expect that for anyone but we could

start knocking some issues out if we started physically doing things instead of posting things on the internet. Yeah. That's my. I don't know. Should we start a group? Yeah. What should, what should,

should we do this climate thing that this, the Mona Lisa guy wants us to do? We'll just hop on that really quick. We can go clean a beach. We totally could. The beaches are nasty right now. Let's clean a beach. Yeah.

After Memorial Day weekend. Okay. Trashed. Let's do it. That'd, after Memorial Day weekend. Okay. Trashed. Let's do it. That'd be fun. Look at this progress. All right. We're at some point

going to clean the beach. We're talking about it and we're going to put some action behind it. Yeah. And I would like that. That would feel good too. Anyway,

I'm glad the Mona Lisa is doing okay. Yeah, she's doing exactly what she's been doing for 500 years. And we should think and do the things to help preserve our great planet. I agree.

I want to give you something. Okay. Like on the show? Yeah. Is that okay? Yeah. I brought it in my tote. It's a hat.

I got toothpaste on it this morning and I apologize. Try to get it off. No, keep it on. No vibe checks. Yeah. They just came out last week. They're going live tomorrow. Fibsco.com.

I don't look great. I'm not a big hat guy. Oh, that looks great. Especially with the new haircut. Oh, yeah. That's the stuff. That's going to look real good. Thank you.

No vibe checks. Our caller is here. Yes. Oh, we have a caller. All right. How's it going? Hey, I'm Hannah. I'm 27.

So there's this girl in my friend group who I have a crush on, and I want to text her to initiate hanging out more one-on-one, but I'm not sure how to approach the situation. Okay. Are you texting with her at all? Not much. We've sort of sent some logistical messages about making friends with our friend group and responding to each other's stories, but not much other than that. So you want to shoot your shot here like this?

Hopefully. Yeah. I mean, I don't really know how to approach it because it's kind of complicated. How is it complicated? Okay. So I guess I'll give you a little bit of background on myself first. So I don't have a ton of experience in dating. I came out about a year ago and I've been

on a few app dates, but I have never really come across anyone in person that I like. So I don't have much experience like shooting my shot with someone that I know, or even like flirting that much. Before I came out, I didn't really have much experience in dating and didn't put myself out there much. So this girl that I like, she's 25. Her name's Chloe and she's also gay. I met her through my friend group last summer and we hung out in the group about five times. We spent some time talking and I started to really like her, but I didn't say anything because her job here was just seasonal and I knew that she would be moving back home. So she moved away and I tried to let my feelings go.

But when I found out that she was coming back again this summer, I got excited and was sort of brainstorming ways to reach out to her when she got back. So I never ended up texting her because I saw her with my friends one night at an event. I was really excited to see her. And like, we gave each other a big hug. We had a fun night with our friends. And then we actually ended up walking home together, just us two. She was pretty drunk. So it was a lot of small talk. But towards the end of our walk, I did find out that she's single and actively dating. However, she also told me that another friend of hers recently told her she liked her and she shot her down. Do we know why she shot her down? Did she state a no friend group policy or is it just she wasn't into her?

She didn't say anything like that. It sounded like she just wasn't into her, but I didn't really get too many details. Is this something she told you directly or she told the group? She told me when it was just us two walking home i don't know that could be like uh the bat signal she could be like giving you a it could go really either anyway yeah yeah congrats on coming out also that's exciting thank you um. I mean, all the way up until that point, I'm like, you got to move on this. We got to act quickly. And then I was looking at your texts with her. Or your DMs.

These are, okay, let's just read a dramatic read it. Yeah. You responded to her story and said, I'm jealous. I learned about these in school and have wanted to see it. And next day. Next day, she replies, ha ha, yes, same. It was a must see. It was way bigger than I thought it would be.

And then that's it. Until. Two months later. She writes, hey, I'm coming back to your, where you guys live. In a couple months, were you on that, were you on that team? Now, does she know at this point that you date women? Yeah. She does. Yeah. So that's referring to a sports team, that message. Okay. To me already? Do you know her dating history? Not a ton. I mean, I know like last summer she was also just like casually dating people.

And I know she's had some relationships in the past with women, but I don't know much other than that. And I don't need you to tell us where you're from, but is it a major metropolitan city or a place where it's not as common to come out? It's a pretty small queer community here. Okay, it's a small community. to like come out or it's a pretty small queer community here. Okay. Yeah. Um, so I do have a bit more of an update since I sent in my email. Okay. If you want to hear that. Okay. So basically, so we both joined that same sports team that she's referencing in those

messages there. And I suggested that we carpool since I knew that we lived together or we lived close together now. Um, so we've done that twice now. So we get a little bit of alone time together, but it's mostly just like small talk and listening to music. We also hung out in a much smaller group this past weekend. And the two of us were talking and dancing a lot at the beginning of the night. And I really loved that. But then this other girl showed up who she had recently gone on a date with and her attention, like totally just beeline to this other girl.

And I was like really disappointed um yeah so that's basically where we're at now so now we've got i feel like i've kind of put myself in the friend zone with a plan of sabotage i'm just kidding um she's not like currently like seeing anybody seriously because she did just get back into town a couple weeks ago but i don't know initially off the bat obviously you have more updates since then but I'm talking about a two and a half, three month delay. And then you're someone that came to mind to reach back out to. Yeah.

That's not nothing. That's like she wanted you, she could have reached back to the friend group. Yeah. Yeah. Cause that's the thing is there's multiple people in our friend group who are a part of that. Okay.

I have a question for you. Do you two talk about being gay with another like you know what i'm saying like as friends you're like it must there's not a lot of gay people in your community not a lot of lesbians like it must be nice to like have some friends who like have a mutual interest and have you guys confided in each other about that or not yeah for sure yeah like our whole friend group is gay so like we talk about your whole group okay because i'm just trying to distinguish like you know like why she reached out to you yeah you know what i'm saying because if you would

have said no we don't talk about that much i would be like oh she likes you right i still think that it's an intentional thing to reach out specifically to Hannah instead of the larger group. Yeah, because if you said the whole group is, you know, if the whole group is people who are gay, okay, she could talk to other people about that. She's reaching out to you specifically. Are you two closest out of the rest of the group? I say we're pretty close. I mean, everyone sort of became friends in this friend group like last summer so everyone's a bit newer friends so I think her and I did sort of hit it off more than

other friends in the group have gotcha a lot of smiley faces being thrown around in these messages as well yeah it's friendly and it's not an emoji it's the typed out smiley face and it's that one that's you did she didn't even space it in between the words. Oh my God, yeah, that's flirty. Yeah, for sure. That's the flirtiest way to send a smiley face. She seems flirty. Yeah. Ooh, yeah, we'll have to go out sometime too.

Ha ha, always fun. Definitely. Then she hearts that. I'm seeing an H-E-Y-Y-Y, which, come on, like nothing's. The more the wise. Yeah. She sent me that message when she was traveling about like the vespa girl i don't know if you saw that but i couldn't tell if that was flirty or not

she was traveling in europe and i like responded to one of her stories because i had been where she was at and i sent her a message about you know just about her story and then she said oh yeah it's so great i just need like a cute girl and a vespa and it'd be perfect and i couldn't tell if that was her being like flirty or if that was her just like being funny i don't think she would have said that that's too it's too specific to be sending someone that's a like potential love interest talking about another potential well i don't know that's the question is she a potential love interest or is she a friend that That's, I mean, that's the big question. That's, that's what you're trying to figure out because it could be both. Yeah. say to you my friend oh i just need a pretty girl to like ride with right and i wouldn't think and you wouldn't think anything of it but she's trying to figure out if if it was flirty or not listen

here's we're not going to be able to figure out whether she is into you or not i do think i do think you have plenty to go on to feel like you have a shot yeah right she you know you're it's it's a playful fun text i do think the most the nicest thing is is her reaching out to you to let her know to let you know that she's coming back yeah and it sounds like she's excited to hang out with you she offered to hang out as well and do you feel like you're flirty with her or do you feel like you are actually you're you don't do you feel like you overcompensate by being overly friendly because you don't want to reveal yourself as to be into her exactly yeah wow nice which i try not to do but i feel like it's just i don't know i think i just have like this

guard up from like not being out for so long that it's like it's just like my automatic reaction is to just put people in the friend zone but then by doing that i've kind of put myself in the friend zone right yeah now if you listen to this show i'm a big believer in like once you catch feelings for someone like the friendship is as it exists ceases to be over now i i i don't know if that's just you know amanda i don't know if you have any thoughts on this as uh queer lady as a queer lady is that are those lines a little blurred with like you know friend groups or is there a lot of dating in between groups where you want to be more considerate of the group than a traditional heterosexual guy-girl friendship where someone's crushing on someone

and the assumption is, I don't know if it's as simple. My two cents, and this granted, LA, very fortunate to have a big queer community, but I feel like in general, I don't know, I think within friend groups, if people are vibing they're gonna vibe especially because I think if you're like in a friend group if you're like oh wait I think this is like more than platonic I think that's like so hot like how it's like a little bit illicit that it's really easy for that to like spark into flames and I

think for me at least like I think there's kind of like a general understanding of like, I don't know, like you don't have as many options as like straight people do, depending, especially if you're like a lesbian and not a bi person. And so I think it's maybe a little bit more. Well, I think actually what's more common is people will go on dates and become friends. That happens all the time. Like I went to a drag brunch this Saturday with my friend and her friend. I was like, how'd you guys meet? And she was like, Bumble. Like, not Bumble BFF, Bumble. So I think because it goes in that way a lot of the times, it's maybe a little bit more on the table.

What's your ego situation these days? Like, how in control are you? I'm like, I really feel like I'm just worried about being embarrassed if she like, if she shots me, if she shoots me down or like if somehow it gets out to my friend group that like I asked her out and she shot me down. Like, I feel like my ego is very high in that aspect. Okay. Yeah.

It's almost like you, you wish you could concoct some situation where you can almost edit, undo something to where like you never had that out of comfort zone thing you just figured out what the outcome would be if yeah but that's that's not real world it's not yeah so let's let's focus on your answer and why i asked that question because that to me is your biggest hurdle right because we can't detect we don't know for sure it could go both ways like nothing would surprise me if you reach back out and said nick i shot my shot and we're my shot and we're going on a date and we're super excited about it. And she's like, oh, my God, I've been dying for you to ask me. That wouldn't shock me.

It also wouldn't shock me if she was like, oh, just like friends. It could go either way. So I absolutely think you should shoot your shot. Me too. Because like, you know, YOLO and you like her and there's something there and you might as well go for it. Now you just have to figure out a way to do it knowing that it's possible she might turn you down and you just have to like, I think, get your ego in check. Like what's the worst thing that could happen? She doesn't see you that way yeah i mean i guess i'm just worried about it like being awkward in our

friend group because like you were saying or it's amanda was saying before it's it's awkward in queer friend groups because i feel like we're all like gonna be friends regardless of how it goes just because like it's a small group um and i'm just worried about that being weird i guess the only person well there's only two people who can make it weird you or her and yeah and i think more likely you because you would be the one who's rejected yeah so i think if you can i just know that our friend group is really gossipy so i'm that's that's the factor. Would you ever talk to any of them about it?

Yeah. Some of my friends know. Some of your friends know? What do they think? Yeah. What do they think? They just poke fun at me being like, wow, you still haven't made a shot. They know I should.

Yeah. Yeah. That's awesome. They all think you should. And these are people who know her as well. Yeah. And have witnessed your dynamic and are like, go for it. Yeah. Yeah. That's awesome. They all think you should. And these are people who know her as well. Yeah. And I've like witnessed your dynamic and are like, go for it. Yeah. Why don't, why hasn't, are you wondering why she hasn't gone for it? I think that every time that I sort of like, like boost myself up to think that I could, that's when like, you know, she goes off with

another girl when we're out or like, she talks to me about dating other people and I kind of just like get knocked down a peg. Yeah. That's not great. Talking about to me about dating other people and i kind of just like get knocked down a peg yeah that's not great talking about dating the dating other people in front of you is not as bad as talking about it because yeah but i feel like that's part of just like being friends is and like a part of like a big queer group of friends that we all talk about who we're dating and the dating scene here and yeah i don't think it's the end of the world. Here, I just think you have to mentally get yourself in a place where you stop making it a big deal. It's not a big deal. I'm friends with her, whatever.

I gotta keep my ego in check. You need to stop worrying about the worst possible scenario. Like, it's not gonna happen. No one's gonna be laughing at you. No one's gonna think you're a loser. No one's gonna be wondering what's wrong with you. Everyone's gonna be, like, honestly envious that you went for what you. No one's going to think you're a loser. No one's going to be wondering what's wrong with you. Everyone's going to be like, honestly, envious that you went for what you wanted. That's in reality. And then it will be like a big inside joke in like six months,

you know, I think it will so quickly become like something that was like a non-issue unless you're like actively really pining for her or being super like rude and standoffish. It's like, I think it feels so good that moment when you're seeing someone for the first time, you don't know if things are going to be tense or weird and you just both, you're like, Hey, and you're warm to them and they take the olive branch right away and you

realize this was not an issue at all. There's three possibilities. One, she's been dying for you to ask her to, she doesn't think of you that way. Or three, she just hasn't really thought about it maybe. And, or she's thought about it,

but she has the same concerns about the friend group as well. So she needs to like, think about it. So in the time when she's thinking about it, don't give her a reason to like change her mind on you. Like, because like you throw a bat, you know, you kind of like, you know, act out as a result of being rejected.

And even though you'd be justified because you're rejected like no one likes to see someone like pow it and feel sorry for themselves or like you know because if you get rejected you're gonna not get your way and there's no better indicator and how someone is in a relationship is how they act when they don't get their way so like when you don't get what you want, be a fucking rock star. Yeah. Right? That just fired me up, honestly.

So just have that mindset. So just think about how you're going to do that. And if you have to step away and maybe take a night off because it's just too much, don't tell your friends you're sad about it be busy you're busy doing other things you have something else going on and even if it's at home pouting eating ice cream whatever the fuck you do when you're in

your feelings like don't let don't let the friend group know that you're crushed about it just be a little private about that right as far as they're concerned like hey you just you went you had it you shot your shot and it didn't work out okay so it's very well written so promise me that now now what now what do we send her yeah because that's my thing is like do i come across like like i know you sort of say like like be confident about it and like that's other advice you've given people before but i also don't know how to approach it like with still being friends like because other people have said you know just be like it's totally fine like if you're not into it like we can still be friends and like sort of backtrack a little bit like shoot your shot but like lightly yeah let her i think if you're going

to shoot your shot shoot your shot don't like shoot your shot with a bunch of disqualifiers in the same text be like i know this and you don't have like let her reject you first then worry about handle then be the rock star when you need to be the rock star you know have it ready to go like be mentally prepared for it be like it's i'm just and you say if she rejects you you say something like this i totally get it i understand because if she rejects you she's going to like this. I totally get it. I understand. Because if she rejects you, she's going to refer to the group. She's going to use the group as an excuse. We already know what she's going to say if she rejects you because she's going to want to be nice about it.

And she's going to use the friends as an excuse. And you're going to write back something like, I'm just glad I asked because I think you're amazing and of course obviously we'll still be great friends but it was worth it just to ask something like that yeah right and then you take as much time as you need to like get you know mentally in the right headspace to see her and not be weird about it has there ever been something she's mentioned or that's come up in conversation as like something she finds romantic or just like a fun date. Vespas in Italy. Vespas.

I know she's like really adventurous. Like she likes to go on hikes and check out new spots in town and stuff like that. Is there like, is there a hike that has a good view? Like a little lookout? Don't we think she, I feel like, and I could be wrong here, but that's, you know, we're talking about planning the date, but she needs to like make it very clear her intentions. I don't think she should be like cryptic and plan a date and be like, surprise, it's a date. Yeah. I feel like she should reach out to her and say, I want to, I want to go on a date with you.

Do you feel good about the, the like this is going to be an ask out text hannah like like saying that outright like yeah do you feel comfortable this text is going to be an ask like we are asking her out i think we should go on a date okay yeah i think i have to i guess i agree i have to like spell it out there and make it clear what i want or else i'm just like never to get it. I think the carpooling thing adds an interesting aspect here. Because if you're carpooling already, what if you guys did something before or after

one of these group situations? Because I've definitely been in a position before where I'm like, we're going to this concert, we live close, do you want to pregame at my place? Have a couple drinks here. Yeah, but you're still trying to figure out like a way to like set up a romantic.

I think in person is, I know we're sending it, we're crafting a text, but maybe open up the can of worms with the text and then have a situation. Initiate a one-on-one hang via text and then in person sort of be like, hey, I date you.

I'm going to say it. But not in a situation where there's an implication that they are stuck with you after they, you know, because then they may try to be nice and be like, yeah, because it's uncomfortable. I don't know. You need an escape route if it's in person. That's what I'm saying. Not an escape from you, Hannah, at all. I feel like there's already a lot of pressure for... They have a rapport.

She's not shooting a shot with a stranger. She's shooting a shot with someone who... She knows... Like, the lines of communication

are open. Would you ever have an intro, the intro of this text be, no pressure at all, I know we're really close friends,

et cetera? Like, starting it out with, like... I don't like starting it off that way i think a follow-up like a be like oh and no pressure if that's like not how you're feeling about the situation like genuinely like glad to be friends no matter what i don't like the no pressure but i get your disqualifier yeah i feel like it's something like what about no worries all good no none of those it's just more I think you acknowledge that you're you're taking a risk yeah this is this is a initial brainstorm I don't think this is a good tax but I think this is like a it's like call like call me crazy but

what if we went on a date or like, what about something that was like, yeah, I honestly kind of like something like that. Yeah. Fun. Yeah. And then that implies no pressure. Yeah. Yeah. I almost like that.

Call me crazy, but I think we should go on a date. Yeah. I do. It's kind of cute. Yeah. It's kind of just like cheeky. It's not like taking it too seriously.

I like it. Something about we should go on a date kind of freaks me out. Like we should, but like not calling it a date it's not too heavy yeah and it's not too heavy handed and i don't think it requires any like disqualifiers like this is an adult person if she doesn't want to go out with you she can respond to that yeah right hey so you know i think you're great but the group you know something like that yeah she'll respond with right yeah no i agree i think but if she likes you then it will be amazing yeah right imagine you were like oh my god getting that text getting that you have a crush on yeah as opposed

day ever as opposed to like hey sorry uh no worries if not but blah blah blah blah like just say it and we're also really backtracking because my initial thing when you first sent everything over was like she's definitely into you like that was my where my gut was until she might be i i feel like she is like no one follows up in the in the format that she followed up i think if like she was like hey i'm gonna be back in town in a couple weeks estimation point would love to like You know do it but like that I say that to friends all the time like people that when I'm visiting somewhere I don't send hey, why? Smiley face, you know like I think she was and obviously things can change

But I I feel like initially the feelings were there and they don't just dissipate Totally, you know, so I talked it to someone you're attracted to yeah Yeah, and hey exclamation point i'm coming back to blank in a couple months smiley face yeah you have more reasons to think she likes you than doesn't like you yeah okay that's good to know because the friend group she has as just as many concerns as you have her dating other women and talking about that in front of you well she's assuming you might not like her. So what is she supposed to do? Right. Yeah. And granted I have asked her, like I was sort of the one initiating those conversations because I was

trying to figure out if she was still single or what her situation was. So I did bring that up myself. So call me crazy. I think we should go on a date. I it amanda i think or what if i think nick's in the camp of i think i think i think i think what if it's a little more like like tongue tongue out a little more cowardly i like the more assertive how do you feel hannah i like it honestly it's never something i would have thought to say but I kind of like it after talking it out. Do you want to send it? What part of the country are you calling from? East Coast. Okay, so it's three. I think you should send it. I think you should send it now.

Right now? Yes. Why not? I have to carpool with her tomorrow. What if it's awkward? Oh, that's perfect. Even better. Even better. It's perfect because the plans are already made. You're not making plans after sending the text. Yeah, there we go. So it's like, listen, if you're going to shoot your shot and if she rejects you, you're going to have to deal with some rejection.

There's no good time. Yeah. And then you can just be like, see you at Carpool. Yeah. And it's already casual. Yeah. Yes. Because if she's like-

You're ripping the bandaid off now and then tomorrow, you have a chaser. Yeah. If she- You get a chaser tomorrow. Yeah. It's over. It's over. you have a chaser take a shot and get a chaser tomorrow if she has to think about it or she rejects you tomorrow already an opportunity to be an all star

okay let's send it okay I'll do it no no no on the phone oh god what if she responds right away I'm going to have to get up and pace around I'm very nervous before you send it what if she responds right away i'm gonna have to get up and pace around if this

i'm very nervous well hold on before you send it like let's just make a pact we're gonna just repeat after me i no matter what happens will be an all-star and a great friend to her even if i'm rejected that was very long yeah some version of that just say you're gonna be an all-star i'll be cool if she turns me down i will not be heard about it and it's okay to like take breaks it's okay to like not like to like you know go in the carpool because that would be kind of obvious that you're being weird but like if if if you're feeling if your ego's a little bruised it is okay to take a time out one night. Just don't let them know it's because of her.

This is an act of God that you have carpool tomorrow, and I'm serious because she's not going to dip on carpool. It's too obvious. So, like, you get to, like, it's going to be awesome. That's, like, such a perfect opportunity today. Send a text in the afternoon. And if she dips on carpool, if she rejects you and dips on carpool that's an opportunity for you yeah to just reach out to her and say at some point be like hey i

just noticed you weren't there i want you to know like again like i think you're great and i totally respect if you don't want to do this but like i just nothing has to change don't like let's not make this weird or whatever you're like again that's an opportunity if you don't don't if she doesn't show up don't take that as further rejection take see that as an opportunity to show that you're going to be like every time you feel like she she might be being weird it's an opportunity for you to be awesome okay sounds good okay okay so what would you put at the end of the sentence like call me crazy but i think we should go on a date would you like just end it there would you like you know period add like an emoji don't throw a smiley face she likes them she likes smiley faces

i'm she likes them that feels like a lot i'm kind of honestly i think no punctuation i think i think nothing on it my vote is nothing also also how do we feel about pulling the room? Call me crazy. One message. Follow-up message. But I think we should go on a date. Or do you guys like it as one? I think two could be cool. Oh, you like one?

I don't think there's much of a difference. I think we're really... Wait, what if you sent call me crazy, allowed her time to respond? No. That's why I think you just send... Wait, what if you sent, call me crazy, allowed her time to respond? No. That's why I think you just send it. Ambush her. Too much.

I feel like we need to talk. That's what you need to say. Period. I think you say, call me crazy, I think we should go on a date. And no punctuation, punctuation,

I don't know if it matters. No exclamation point. Yeah. I think no punctuation at the end potentially a comma after crazy are you ready do you want us to count you down yeah hey this is gonna be fun no no this is gonna be fine that's not out of pressure this is no matter what happens i just mean everything's gonna be fine once it's composed okay we can do like a three two one yes okay i have it written out okay let's see it written out let's see

call me crazy comma I think we should go on a date that's it ready? 3, 2, 1 send oh my god there it is oh how exciting my heart is racing I'm about to throw my phone against the wall

I would fucking love for her to write back I know I want her to see it immediately. This is going to be fine. She's probably still at work, so she's probably not going to be answering. Oh, that's good because she'll have... No matter what, you did the right thing. My heart is pounding in my chest, Hannah. Hannah, good for you.

Thank you. This is so huge. Power moves only. Yeah. No matter what happens, you're going to feel good about this. Yeah. Absolutely epic. And just let everyone be in awe of how you handle it if you don't get what you want.

Okay. There's a lot worse feeling in not knowing than knowing a fact in either direction. You know, like the what if thing is so tragic. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like that's what's been killing me lately is like seeing her out with like other people and like you know her not knowing that it's kind of like disappointing yeah and just remember like so like you know your friend group's a little gossipy

so like yeah again i'm not trying to set you up for disappointment but let's say it doesn't go your way and then your gossipy friends go oh, like, how are you being normal about this? Like, I would be, I would be dead if I wouldn't be able to hang out, you know, with her and blah, blah, blah. And if they say things like that, again, opportunity to be like, Oh, well, you know, like, listen, like she's an amazing person and it was worth treating my shop, but I'm going to be fine either way. Like I know I'm going to be fine. And she was someone I wanted to get to know, you know you know like and when people hear you say that they're just going to be in such awe of you like don't let other people convince you to be let to be more insecure about a situation than they then you should be because when they say that shit to you

it's because like they know they would in fact die and they hate that you're handling it so well yeah yeah okay that's good advice for sure yeah you have to update us no yeah okay let us know what happens i wanted to stand the line yeah i'll let you know for sure all right let us know all right thanks for calling proud of you thank you so much for your time all right take care okay bye holy smokes that's i'm not getting it's making my heart she better say yes the thrill

no she better I have a good feeling about that that was a nice text man yeah I just like I anytime I send a text like that I put my I want to just throw my phone against the wall

and break it because I'm like I can't even no I know terrible and you're like and then you're like waiting for the three dots to appear and it's just like torture. Oh my God.

Torture. She's much braver. No matter what, she did the right thing. Yeah, she did. She did. She'll know either way. Closure is so good. It's such a good feeling.

Connor, thanks for coming, buddy. Thanks for having me, Nick. Fibula. Thanks, Amanda. Where can the people find you? Fibula on everything. Where can they get some of this amazing merch? Got merch going live on the site tomorrow.

It'll be in my Instagram bio, but it's fibsco.com. And then we're going to have Nick over on myself and Lady Efron's podcast, Brick and Connor Makeup Podcast. I'd love to. Cheers. Let me know. Thanks for listening, guys. Don't forget to send in those questions at asknickatcastme.com.

Cast with a K. Next week, going deeper, it's going to be the Stallone sisters. Fascinating pair. Big fan of their dad. Rocky IV really changed my life. What? It did.

In what ways? Oh, like... New appreciation for outside stares. Fitness, yeah. Fitness, like. New appreciation for outside stairs. Fitness. Yeah. Fitness. Yeah. Just.

I love Rocky IV. So good. They're great. They are. They are awesome. I'm excited to have them on. And be sure to tune in to that next week. Along with Freestyle.

Ask Nick. More texting office hours. Anyway, we'll discuss. All right. Bye. Anyway, we'll discuss. All right, bye. Bye, guys. Hey, guys, thanks for watching. But before you go, make sure you like, subscribe, and ring that bell

so you don't miss any future videos like our Monday's Ask Nick for your favorite relationship stories and advice and our Tuesday Bachelor Recaps. See you next time.