The Viall Files - E434 Kaitlyn Bristowe: Amber Speaks & Britney Marries

Episode Date: June 14, 2022

Welcome back to The Viall Files: Bachelor Gossip Edition! Today on our freestyle episode, we are joined by Bachelor Nation’s own, Kaitlyn Bristowe! On this episode we dive into the latest on Bachelor Nation drama, if Kaitlyn feels massive FOMO from other people hosting, and who has gotten the best and worst edits. We also focus on some pop culture news, with Amber Heard’s first public interview and news of an upcoming book, how Britney Spears is so humble that she forgets she’s famous, how second-hand embarrassment is a myth, and the reason Geico has to pay one woman millions. We also talk about being a woman business owner in the wine industry, how we’ve had to learn to censor ourselves, and countering burnout as a comedian. We also welcome on our Texting Office Hours caller who has been seeing a guy that works for her company at a location on the opposite coast of her. But can this flowering romance grow when they both have been having an amazing time without explaining what exactly they are doing and what this situation is.  “If you need to solve a murder, ask Bachelor Nation!”  Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to [e-mail] to be a part of our Monday episodes.  Pre-Order Nick’s Book: https://www.abramsbooks.com/product/dont-text-your-ex-happy-birthday_9781419755491/ Check out our new "Introvert" merch at http://www.viallfiles.com today! THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: Manscaped: Get 20% off and free shipping when you use code VIALL at http://www.Manscaped.com  Hungryroot: Go to http://www.HungryRoot.com/VIALL to get 30% off your first delivery and a free gift with every delivery. Wondery: Listen to Even The Rich on Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. Or listen ad-free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app. Episode Socials:  @viallfiles @nickviall @kaitlynbristowe https://www.SpadeAndSparrows.com/ If you are experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or go to thehotline.org. All calls are toll-free and confidential. The hotline is available 24/7 in more than 170 languages. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Technically, I think you just got to run with exes. It's just simpler. I call everybody that was on my season an ex-boyfriend just because it's funny. Yeah. Yeah. Actually, I talked about this with your current fiance on his show. Oh, God, it's a weird world we live in. But Rachel Lindsay even said she was like, Nick, you're my favorite ex.

I know. You bonded over that. But I don't think of them as exes in a way like I would someone I dated for an extended period of time. It's more like manufactured ex. Yeah. It's someone I have a past with. Yeah. It's just different.

Anyways, Caitlin, how's it going? Welcome. Thanks for having me. Thanks for coming. Straight off the airplane, I look like I came in on my skateboard. Let's drink your wine. Let's cheers. Cheers, everybody.

Spade and Sparrow. Do you want to tell the people what we're drinking? What are these notes? What varietal? Oh, my gosh. Let's talk about it. That's what I try not to do. I'm like, I never want to make my wine snobby.

So it's like, it's just really good rosé. Okay. It is refreshing. And it's not too sweet, which I like because I don want to make my wine snobby. So it's just really good rosé. It is refreshing. And it's not too sweet, which I like because I don't like sweet wine, but it's not too dry. So people who like dry wine will love this. People who like sweet wine will love this. Where can the people listening get Spade and Sparrows? Oh, I know.

I know the answer. You do? So there's a website. It also is in select retailers like Walmart. I tried to call Walmart. That was pretty far away to see if they had it because I wanted to buy a bottle for my sister. No one answered the phone so I ended up having to ship it

home to Minnesota. Gave it to her for Christmas. She saved it because she wanted to savor the moment of drinking Spade and Sparrows. So we waited until the day that she found her wedding dress

and then we drank it. Wait, that's so special. There you go, Caitlin. Oh, that's really nice. Yeah. Thank you. My sister's going to die if she listens to this episode.

I will send you more wine just for that. Oh, that's really nice. Yeah. Thank you. My sister's going to die if she listens to this episode. I will send you more wine just for that. Yeah, it's at over 175 Walmarts in California. Good for you. And we're trying really hard to get it in Target, which we've had phone calls in the last week. It's looking good. But spadeandsparrows.com. Good for you.

Thanks. I really love it. Put your hair up in a little dew scrunchie and sip your wine. She gets it. That's And sip your wine She gets it That's good She gets it I did my recall You like it?

Yeah Oh that wasn't very You have it at home don't you I don't drink Oh I drink your wine That you sent me No I do like it Yeah you're right

Yeah it kind of sounded I was like that It wasn't convincing I went up Actually just watched her You went up like Eight octaves It's really good

Yeah That is very Larry David No when I drink wine Which which I drink a decent amount, I suppose. Yeah. I just don't see myself as someone who is an authority on wine. You don't have to. I don't either. I've never been like, oh, it's terrible.

Take it away. Oh. See, I have. I used to never be a snobby wine drinker i'm still not a snobby wine drinker i just now have like i can't handle cheap wine it makes me sick like i get headaches and i feel like crap the next day okay and you don't get headaches from spade and sparrows you do not love it don't don't like take my word on that if get hungover, don't blame me or sue me. Sueser. I drink six bottles and I feel like shit. Yeah, you liar.

False advertising. What's new? Nothing. Wait, I don't know. I'm going to Canada for two weeks. I'm doing a little Wine, Women, and Well-Being. I'm a keynote speaker at a Wine, Women, and Well-Being conference, which is so funny to me that I'm a keynote speaker.

I feel like that's… Have you ever been a keynote speaker? I did a TED Talk once, which was pretty cool. Can you get Nick in? Because I think he wants to give one. We were talking- Well, we were- What would you do it on?

Apparently, Dale also did a TED Talk. Okay. Really? At like a university. Yeah. And then I had to specify because Bachelor Nation is very sensitive. Yes. And I was like, I'm not saying, I don't know what Dale talked about.

I'm sure it was wonderful. But I said, it seems like at first TED Talks were like something you really aspired to. And then it seems like... Everyone and their dog can do it now? Yeah. And since then they've had people who've done TED Talks have since been arrested for fraud and other aspects.

So it's not the shine. But again, I'm sure it was. I still want to do one. This was six years ago. And mine was more like I didn't go up there with like. Yeah, what was it about? It was about television, actually. It was about like reality TV and how it's not that real and what it is.

But like it's more it's not scripted. It's more manufactured. It was just kind of about why I went on the show and I was just kind of honest about going on to like build a brand instead of going for love and then it turned into falling in love and I just kind of it was more of a Q&A conversation I didn't have to go out there and do like a whole presentation by myself so it was nice and when I look back and watch I'm like like, shit, I was well-spoken back in the day. What? I feel like I'm like stupider now or something. I'm getting dumber for sure.

No, I'm getting dumber. No, me in high school, great. I think ever since then. Same. And I'm also not as funny anymore. And I'm blaming it on COVID. I'm like, is COVID? The brain fog is just continuing.

The brain fog. I'm not as funny anymore. I don't have the wit that I used to have. Or I'm just tired. I don't know. You're definitely just as well spoken you did great on after the final rose as live that's not easy yeah that's true that's thank you and i was a little drunk too well not no one would have known i mean i had that adds up uh i had a couple tequila shots to ease the nerves um do you think you're less funnier?

And I can't have an opinion on that. But do you think that has more to do with the times that we're in? Probably. That everything we say, there's a level of, can I still say this? Yes. Are we? That's true. I hold back more.

Yeah. We edit ourselves. Yeah. No, I don't like that. Well, it's better to edit yourself than to get fully canceled and be jobless, I guess. Yeah. But it's, well, it's the time that we're living in and it's just like the world is so dark right now. And I also feel like maybe I just don't try as hard.

Maybe that's it. Maybe I just don't try as hard to be funny anymore. I used to try really hard. You think so? Yeah, I used to try because I loved making people laugh and I used to try really hard to do that. Has anyone told you you're not as funny? Like where is this coming from? No, it's just in my brain. Like I used to come up with the funniest ideas for Instagram stories or back when Snapchat was a thing. Like I was like, oh, my brain just went to funny places and now I'm more, I guess I'm maybe growing up. Also part of it too

is it's like you've been doing it for a while. Yeah, maybe I'm just. You're just like, I feel like I've already done that bit. Yeah, that's true. You got to give it up for comedians because they got to come up with new bits all the time.

Yeah. Yeah, okay. Thanks. I'm sure there'll be plenty of people who will be DMing you and be like, I still think you're the funniest person in the world. You're so funny. I'm just fishing right now.

Please tell me I'm funny. Anything else you want to update on us? Something that we can get like a sort of Us Weekly, like a media. Oh, she just talked to them about wedding. You want to talk shit about someone? Yeah. Oh, do I want, ooh.

I mean, there's two people in nashville who in bachelor nation are you inviting your wedding well i haven't gotten there yet okay we are the slowest people and you know of course people are all in my dms being like nick's gonna grill you on wedding details and you better not say you're busy because that excuse is getting old and i'm like did they say i was gonna grill you on wedding details i don't feel like it's something you would do Nick's like I couldn't care less I guess I'm supposed

to ask but well yeah I mean but that's the thing I'm like well wedding questions naturally come up I'm in the process

of planning a wedding this makes sense but we suck we suck at wedding planning and we both just haven't even really tried that hard we've done like

little things but that's it do you think Sean is over your breakup yet? That's a great question. I still to this day have not run into him in Nashville and we've lived in the same city. Like it's crazy. But through a friend of a friend,

I heard that he finally said something like, yeah, I think I'm like, if I ran into her, I'd be fine. So. You'd be nice. I guess so. Yeah. I'm curious. But unclear.

Unclear. Okay. Yeah. Well, what do we have going on in Bachelor Nation, Allie? What do we have going on? Caitlin Bristow was talking about her wedding. You know, I was going through. Oh, well, we saw Gabby and rachel will any exes be

at your wedding are you asking about yourself no but like ben higgins maybe you know i don't know maybe sure i think i think a lot of you guys will be invited because we want to do a big wedding i'm not expecting an invite well we haven't got there yet but clear your new year's eve in case it's totally fine if you don't invite me i know know that. But I feel like I would like a lot of familiar faces there that I've been through stuff with. And it would be fun. And you're a friend of ours. Yeah. But also, not every friend gets to go to weddings.

That's true. I just haven't. I feel like I'm going to be cutthroat with the guest list. But Jason wants a big wedding. And I'm like, I don't know. Anyways, what was the Bachelor Nation news? Oh, well. Gabby and Rachel.

We just saw them at CMA Fest. They did photos with fans and giveaways, and it was their first big public appearance since wrapping their season. Becca and Thomas were also there. And Serena and Joe were supposed to go, but only Serena went. But then Joe also tweeted something about being sick. Because, God forbid, they can't. No, no.

You can't do something. Just letting you know. An independent woman in a relationship in Bachelor Edition? Never. There must be problems in paradise. Yeah. Oh my gosh. They're breaking up.

We got a new teaser for their season and people, you know, detectives, have paused it at this moment where you can see Rachel kissing a guy and in her hand she has a rose. So people think that that guy was the first impression rose. They're putting all this stuff together. Don't you feel like if you ever want to solve a murder in your life,

you'll go to Bachelor Nation? If I go missing, I want women on a true crime podcast to look for me, not the police. I say this. There's pros and cons. Bachelor Nation is wildly dedicated and passionate. We love that. Their dedication sometimes can cause frustrations.

But it's like for better or worse, we probably both know that Bachelor Nation has done their due diligence on us. Yes. Yes. And I guess, you know. So I was at CMA Fest one night and I just want to applaud them for dealing with – CMA Fest is bananas. That's a nation central. Like, yes. And I went on Saturday night, and they were like, oh, we're in a suite.

And I was like, so am I. And then we tried to meet up, and it turned out they were on the other side. And then this morning, I'm in the Delta Lounge really early, and I look over and I see Amber Knittle and Gabby and I was like oh hey and she looked just this sounds awful and I don't mean this to be mean she just looked exhausted like she had just gone through CMA Fest for three days which she had and done like everything they were just meeting everybody and going everywhere and doing everything and I was just like I just want to like tuck you in yeah and like just tell her it's gonna be okay is there a little fomo no no no okay finish your sentence i mean you knew what i was gonna ask it fomo um

not hosting oh oh i did not think that's where you're going i thought you were gonna say fomo about like being the bachelorette or something oh i was like absolutely not what do you think i enjoyed my time as a bachelor yeah okay no no do you have any fomo especially like gabby i don't i've never met her but you you two have the same energy people have compared you to to kind of have that kind of snarky yeah uh playful energy is there a little bit of you know that would have been fun to host that season and maybe connect, especially with two bachelorettes and being, you know, more of a mentor. There's a lot of FOMO there.

There is a lot of FOMO there. Yeah. My ego was bruised when I realized I wasn't doing any more hosting because I felt like I deserved to like go on, especially if there's two bachelorettes. And I just felt like I was in a good position. I'd proved myself. And I thought in my head, like when they gave me the call and said, and people were like,

oh, Caitlin said she got blindsided. Maybe I did, but I did get a phone call. And they said, I'm sure you saw this coming. And I was like, no, I actually didn't, which makes it that much harder. They said that? Yeah. Do you think it's because the people who run things there,

and I mean really run it? I know exactly why, yeah. Do you think they ever had a hard time seeing alumni as even options? Like they don't really take us seriously when it comes to that type of stuff, and it was almost kind of reluctantly something they did rather than wanting to do yeah and i do like i when i can like take my ego out of it and look on look at the situation i'm like okay of course you want like a consistent host somebody that's like all across the board like professional a host like he can do the bachelor bachelorette bachelor in paradise like

you want somebody consistent i get that um you don't think you could be consistent i think i could i think i could i just don't you thought you were the right person for the job i think i still was able i think they kind of probably looked at me at first like oh caitlin she's so crazy and like she's just gonna get drunk and be an idiot and then i was like no i can i can be professional and like really bring empathy and um compassion to the show and i don't know i really enjoyed it i was just sad i've heard they were really impressed with your work ethic and your dedication to be good at the job. That's really nice. Yeah, I really enjoyed it and I took it seriously.

And it was so hard because... You stood out in that regard. Well, thank you. It was hard to do it with two people, which at first I really enjoyed having, not that I never not enjoyed Tayshia there, but at first it was like kind of the same thing as when there was two bachelorettes.

At first I was like, I hate this. But doing media rounds and just not coming from a world of tv like I was so nervous that it was nice to have somebody else there doing everything with me that I kind of I was like oh it's like a friend doing it with me and that's how I felt doing hosting at first and then at the end it was like one of us could have done it do you think having done AFR by yourself would you have loved a world where you could have felt like you really could have put your authentic stamp on it because you were maybe too self- didn't see the longevity of it and then by the end when I had to do it by myself I was like oh crap I really enjoy this and I could do this and this is something that like I feel good about and but I can't like I I get it they I don't think they trusted either one of us on our own.

It's too bad. Yeah. It is. It's just too bad. But, you know, the other opportunities hopefully will come out of it. I'm sure they will. Yeah. Like it's my dream to host Dancing with the Stars.

That would be my dream. Oh, my God. You'd be so good at that. Put it out there, yeah. Well, that's on Disney+. I know. Isn't that wild? What do you think about that that's the future streaming stuff i i how how network television shows translate to streaming

i think is the big question like is there a world in which also like bachelor's is going to be an hbo max yeah i think and like and and if so how how will that change how it's viewed? Will it become more or less popular? I mean, it's just such a different thing. Honestly, though, I feel like I've never, ever since I was in college and as an adult, I've never paid for cable. I just use all the apps anyways. So to watch The Bachelor, to watch Dancing with the Stars,

I have to go to the ABC app and log in with my Xfinity. So it's kind of a similar thing. But so many of the viewers, so many of the viewers that they like hang on to with Dancing with the Stars and Bachelor. Is Cable older? Yes. And I feel like once that is like kind of pushed out, then they'll go to the apps, I guess. And Dancing with the Stars is going to be a great test to see what happens there.

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It's like it's vegan and you can actually so you can eat it raw. I eat it by the tuftful. It is so delicious. They also have like a black bean brownie batter situation. They put some like fig bars in mine like for like it's like a granola bar, but it also kind of tastes like a fig Newton that's like good for you. And I have those in the afternoons if i need a little sneaky snack well if you are looking to eat a little healthier and you're a working professional like these two women are think of

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every delivery. Just go to HungryRoot.com slash V-I-A-L-L to get 30% off your first delivery and choose your free gift. That's HungryRoot.com slash V-I-A-L-L. Don't forget to use our link so they know we sent you. Elton John, what a legend, an absolute legend, and what an interesting life this man had. It's so fascinating. And if you want to learn more about the legendary rock star that is Elton John, well, listen to Even the Rich. That's right, that wonderful podcast that pulls back the curtain on the rich and famous celebrities that you are so fascinated with. Join hosts Brooke and Arisia when they tell the story of Elton John before he was a global superstar. Elton was an awkward English boy from a fractured home looking for an escape from Wondery. Even the Rich, Elton John's still standing, unveils how music transformed Elton to an icon that rocked the world through style and song.

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Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. Or listen ad-free by joining Wondery Plus and the Wondery app. What else we got, Ellen? Well, you know, Jesse Palmer, Wells, they're both in Mexico. Bachelor Nation, as you guys are saying, is really on it of who they're seeing at the airports, who's been spotted. Like, everyone's putting together who's there.

We don't. Do we care about that? I only do once it's airing. I care once it's airing. Yeah. Like, I'm like, oh, snap. Do we care? Yeah, Genevieve. What news do we have, Allie?

Do we care? I feel like we can all guess who's gonna be oh 100 yeah there's gonna be a couple random people but do you want to walk us through um anything the viewers might have missed slash gleaned from becca and thomas on off the vine yeah oh my gosh i was actually just so cuted out by them like they're just they seem so happy they're so happy and becca has always just been this more like that was her problem with garrett and she was just too progressive for him and they were like completely on different pages and her and thomas are just he adores that in her and he's like turned on by it you know i have a question for you yeah and this is all um this is based off of thomas who is your top give me maybe a top five, top three,

depending on what you have. Who are your top three to five people who were the most misrepresented? On the show. On the show. Based on their edit. Based on their edit. Thomas is definitely one of them.

Thomas, yeah. People, whether it's through social media or you met and you're like you're pretty fucking cool all of the people who got bad edits i've met and i'm like you're actually quite lovely but who like oh now i got it's hard to think about who's been misunderstood on the show in like had encounters with uh what am i trying to think hannah's from Hannah's season. Hannah Brown's season. Oh, that guy. Yeah. Oh.

I've never met him. You know who I'm thinking of? The podium moment? Yes. I've heard he's a kind of a dick. Okay. Yeah, I heard that too and I've never met him.

Luke. No, no, no. Luke. Luke, Pete, no. Yeah. It's just that he was, for me, you know,

the hiding behind God element of it all. Yeah. And I don't know if that wasn't all an edit. That was a lot of... Give me some names of people. Here's mine. Okay.

Thomas is in there. Yeah. This is in no specific order. Yeah. Thomas. Anna Redmond. Oh, yeah. Oh, she's great.

I think she's hilarious on TikTok. She's always on my TikTok, yeah. Yeah, she comes up on mine all the time. I've never met her in person. I know she's dating Chris Bukowski, another person I'd put on that list who's just like a nice, solid guy who's obviously had his own...

I mean, he's been on it plenty of times that it's a little different like when i say this i mean like you know like again anna had a a brief time and got you know and granted she might have fucked up she might have did some shit but obviously everything is made to be 10 times or 100 times worse in that world yeah but she sure seems like an awfully like fun self-deprecating humorous person charming personality and i i find her to be fascinating and interesting i feel like she got a real bad beat yeah i forget what she even did or what was her whole she was the one who was like she's had sexual relations for money or something oh yeah the demonic. Oh yeah, the whole thing. I was like, yeah, the best. But like,

she seems like an awful, I think. I want to hang out with her is what I'm getting at. Yeah. Like she's someone that I watch on TikTok and I'm like,

you seem like you're right up my alley. Yeah. We're like all Bachelor Nation things are like the worst person in the world. You're just like,

oh, that's pretty cool. They could have made me look like, I always talk about this. They could have made me look like the worst person in the world because of my sense of humor when, they're pretty cool. They could have made me look like, I always talk about this, they could have made me look like the worst person in the world because of my sense of humor when I was on the show. I could have been made out to be the biggest

villain. I remember talking to Elon and being like, you guys can't air this, right? He was like, I wish. Like, what is coming out of your mouth is gold, but it was nasty, but it was, I'm joking. Yeah, there was a lot of things I definitely did not make. Yeah. The cut. So then you've got to keep that in mind when these people are getting these edits i'm like well that could have been me and she could be lovely i still want to meet uh shanae shanae

shanae shanae oh yeah oh see she seems like like i wouldn't like her but i could respect her brand i respect your brand that's how i'm gonna brush people off in a text i actually i respect your producers on this and i was like you're thinking because like i i'll always ask producers like what do they really like do you like them yeah and they love her yeah they love her yeah um she's entertaining she gave him something to work with. Yeah. She's entertaining. Yeah. As a person, they like her. Who was the villain on your season?

Oh, Corinne. Yeah, but she's well-liked. Oh, she is? Oh. Overall. I mean, yeah, she was- But she wasn't. No, she was a star.

She was the star of my season. She was the first person- The napping? She was the first person to make being- She wasn't really of my season. She was the first person. The napping? She was the first person to make being, she wasn't really even the villain. She was the biggest star of my season. It wasn't until the whole Paradise debacle that caused the whole new drinking rule

and all those things. I mean, you know this, but I didn't watch your season. It's okay. But yeah, she was- I remember not knowing who you were. They announced you as The Bachelor and I was like, why are we pulling from the bowels of like-

I was like, who is this guy? That's funny. The bowels of- I just felt like I hadn't seen you in so long and I was like, why him? You didn't watch Paradise. What the fuck? I did.

I've never seen Paradise until this last season. Really? I'm going to be pissed for you. Yeah. Do you wish you got to do Paradise? No. Is it kidding? Oh, no.

No. Oh, I think. No. I get really sweaty and I just feel like I wouldn't be cute there. And I just. It's fun. Is it? Yeah.

I could see how it would be fun, actually. I just don't think I am sad i didn't do it like i don't feel like i missed out on bachelor in paradise uh okay is that all we have for yeah it's kind of a slow week um it's okay so we can uh did thomas really call himself a trophy boy on your podcast okay just wanted to clarify I'm not sure if he called himself one or asked if he was one. Okay. Here's what I've learned

about Thomas. And I say this in the nicest way. He's a dork. He's such a dork. I love dorks. Yeah. He just happens to be

6'5 and pretty good looking. Yes. And people are just like, it doesn't register like you're not supposed to be a dork. Yeah. But he's kind of a dork.

Which is so great because Becca's such a dork deep down in her soulork. Yeah. But he's kind of a dork. Which is so great because Becca's such a dork deep down in her soul too. And they're both just really good looking dorks who found each other. And they work so well together. Yeah. And he still wants to propose to her.

It's not like a, oh my gosh, Becca. I loved that they did that. I love it. I don't know. I thought it was. It's so cute. I'm sad I didn't think to do that. I was like, yeah, I like that. I thought it was so cute. I'm sad I didn't think to do that. I was like, yeah, that's I like that.

That's I think it says a lot. It's like such a nice. Flattering gesture for her to like. Did you also catch the similarities of he was saying that he thought it was like a promo shoot for her wine. And then and then. But you also when you got proposed to had like a wedding shoot later that day. Yes. So like both of you had like the photo element nailed.

Yeah. I feel like that is really easy to pull off in our world when you have to come up with like photo shoots all the time. Yeah. You can just set it up like that. Exactly. You're like, we'll be in full glam. Everything's fine. Except I was not.

I was in full glam from here up. And then I was in like a tied up shirt that says tequila for breakfast and like workout pants. I feel like that more speaks to who you really are though. That's true. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. What else we got? I was just, yeah, last question for you. Because you had said that you want to do a like Gatsby themed

over the top wedding with champagne fountains. Oh, black tie. Would you do it with spade and sparrows? Like would you just dump a bunch of spade and sparrows down from the top? Or does it have to be champagne? No, I do want it to be champagne. I want it to be champagne, but Spade and Sparrows will obviously be at the wedding. There we go.

Yeah, it will be served. Bottle upon bottle upon bottle. Yes. Do you want a theme? Have you even thought about what? Are you engaged? No. No, I'm just asking.

Do you guys talk about wedding stuff? Yeah. Oh, cute. That's cute. She's lovely. I was, not that I didn't think she was going to be, but I really enjoyed being around her. Yeah, people really like her. She has that effect on people.

Yeah. She's really easy to be around. Yeah. She's a winner. She just texted me earlier and she was like, are you guys recording right now? And I was like, yes. And I was like, Natalie Joy texted me. I was like, I nailed it.

She's a star. Do we want to talk about Miss Amber Heard's appearance? We've seen the teaser for her big Today Show interview. Oh, she did? Yeah. What are your thoughts? I mean, I did get deep in the trials. Like I was very much.

We very much did. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was just more like he, I was watching it for Johnny Depp's like commentary and his one liners and his way of speaking. Like every, he just fascinates me. And I hope that he is telling the,

like I, he just had so many points to prove that I just was like, Ooh, Amber just kept going down and down and looking worse and worse and he just kept looking better and better and it was one of those things that you couldn't couldn't stop watching also i loved your um your mega pint oh i see i got in trouble for that oh in trouble why because because we're mocking yeah because it was like mocking alcoholism or something i'm like but i have so when you when you like at what level are because when you say you got in trouble for that oh from one person i

should clarify it's just one human being well yeah i mean that's well that's i mean that's the thing who gets a lot of we we oh a public figure no she just gets a lot of bachelor people watching her stuff i don't even know who it is i could i couldn't even tell you who it was it's like i think it was a podcast i feel like we have to stop i feel like we have to stop platforming critics yes i agree i mean it's like every time people like call someone out and then people respond to it that's what makes it the story. Like, you know. I agree. If it's one person disagreeing with your take or having a critique, that's fine.

They can do that. But I think that we have to stop like acknowledging and like responding to every critique or criticism. Because I used to never respond to anything. And it's like the more time that's gone on, the more it like affects me for some reason. You would think it would be the other way around. But I feel like now, I don't know. And I got really sensitive to that because my dad, I want to say was an alcoholic, but I think once you're an alcoholic, you're always an alcoholic.

I believe that's how it's referred to, yeah. Because I go to his AA birthdays and he always has to say, I'm Mike and I'm an alcoholic. And I'm always like, no, you're not. You're not anymore. But he's been 30 years sober. And so I talked to him about my wine brand and like stuff I do on social media or how much I drink. And I always ask if I'm being insensitive. And he's like, no, it's your humor. And like, you don't have a problem. And like, it's, it really affects me when people are like kaylin's an alcoholic and she abuses alcohol and makes fun of alcoholism and i'm like my sweet dad disagrees yeah no i mean that's that's just everyone has a microphone as i'm drinking before noon

hey it's fine yeah but my idea our microphones are louder yeah so yeah god that was a weirdly synchronized laugh we both like did this maniacal laugh so she's a lot of been talking about social media and then she says how she doesn't blame the jury yeah it seems like a passive-aggressive way of saying i blame the jury it's like it's like if you were to say i don't like your favorite team loses the game yeah and then you say i don't blame the refs even though they don't know the favorite team loses the game. And then you say, I don't blame the refs, even though they don't know the rules. Yeah.

You're right. The jury was instructed to not look at social media. And we've heard from Amber's lawyer suggesting that that's impossible. Well, not necessarily like they're not supposed to. Right. And it's very convenient to suggest that they must have. And, and it also, And it's very convenient to suggest that they must have.

And also she is saying that social media played a role. Now, keep in mind, her team and her are talking about this trial as if, like, I understand that Johnny Depp has a lot of fans. Right. I get that. Yeah. But it's not as if every person who's watching this trial is some sort of like Pirates of the Caribbean fan. You know what I'm saying? Like I've been paying close attention to this trial. Yeah, I'm not a diehard Johnny Depp fan.

Yeah, I mean like fine. And I've watched every minute. And what I said like before is like, I think the vitriol and the reaction from a lot of people, especially women and women who identify as domestic violence survivors, especially the women I've talked to, the women I know personally, women who listen to the show, who have written in. It's that, again, we all believed Amber when it all first came out years ago. And it was because of this trial and the information that came forward from this trial that affected our point of view.

It's not like- It was a lot of information. It wasn't some sort of like, you know, God, thank God, Jack Sparrow. You know, like we needed, but that's how they're talking to us in such a kind of condescending,

passive aggressive way and in suggesting that us, the audience or the jury members have all been brainwashed by our fandom of Johnny Depp. And don't get me wrong. There are definitely some diehards, plenty of diehards, probably thousands and millions of Johnny De closely watched this trial are people who like objectively tried to listen to both sides many of which most of which were women watching this trial many of which were survivors of domestic violence who saw themselves in johnny more than they saw themselves and i was just thinking that yeah that's it was i think it was probably really hard for people to watch at

first because you wanted to root for amber because you want her to feel heard and seen and like gosh if this is the truth she's been through so much and you wanted to like her to get her justice and then just facts after facts and video and footage and information kept being thrown out there where you're like oh my gosh johnny is is a victim and it's so yeah it's i found it so hard to speak up on the whole trial though because i feel like i don't have the like knowledge and everything to like have well because it's the best opinion it's such a complicated issue yeah to begin with yeah like anything of like any sort of victim coming forward right and there being two sides to the story yeah but then you add in the complexity of like it being a defamation trial

so it really like when we had a lawyer on to talk through everything it really was never about the abuse it's about the defamation and so like you add all those technicalities on top so it's just it was I think there was a lot of elements that people who didn't dive into exactly like what a defamation trial is and the different things you had to meet and what they had to prove. Yeah. I think for a lot of people it was like, oh, well, yeah, she's lying, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, well, okay, well, it's not that simple. I know.

I know. And now I heard she's getting a like redemption book deal. Oh, no. We ever heard? Yeah. Well, that's another thing. Didn't she say at the end of the trial that she just wants to live her life and move on and go forward and i understand that the the the verdict didn't go the way she wanted but like she accused johnny of basically harassing her and bullying her and this whole thing and yet

he has essentially we haven't heard from him right and she do you think we will i mean i don't probably he did a tick he posted a tiktok kind of a thank you to his oh really yeah i didn't see that he went on tiktok but yeah she seems to be the one not going to just go move on and live her life yeah which i you know it's just like it's just she just keeps saying and doing things that just don't seem to add up and i and and johnny's lawyers you know one point they asked like why do you think it went your way yeah and they made a point that i think resonated with a lot of people is that you know say like say what you want about johnny depp and some of these kind of very ugly texts that we read that he sent and pretty kind of gross texts. But he owned up to those and acknowledged those.

And he acknowledged some things that were probably hard to acknowledge. And at no time did she ever acknowledge anything. There was no like, yeah, I did that. I know. Nothing. acknowledge anything there was no like yeah i did that i know nothing there was always some sort of like bizarre excuse and justification for everything and i think as humans zero accountability you know like you know it's it's you and i too like we've always we've had our differences at times but i think one thing that you and i have talked about too is that we have always been uh good at owning our shit and apologizing for things we've gone wrong we've acknowledged three years we've acknowledged well i cut you some slack there because it was right after that relationship ended but nevertheless like even before not just you and i even when

you were the bachelorette you've never tried to be perfect yeah you know you've always been willing to be messy and at times i think with people and i've experienced this too ashy eyes another person i say this too it's just like at first we get criticism for that because we don't come across as polished or whatever right but over time it works out because people then realize that I trust who this person is because they've consistently been this, X, Y, and Z. And I think people in general build trust by, for better or worse, being consistent with who they are.

And I think that's another reason why people are struggling with believing Amber is because there's a lack of consistency with the person she portrays herself to be and what you see. And then you just start. And she's not the only one you see in the public eye. People, we struggle with seeing that.

And I think it's a willingness to sometimes take your lumps and take some criticism. People can all relate to messy. Everyone can, whether they want to admit it or not. And it is just so like, I think it would have been so different. The ending, the outcome wouldn't have been different. But I think people would have had more empathy for her if she really just took any kind of accountability during that whole thing. There wasn't one moment, like you said, where she just admitted to being messy and saying verbally abusive things like i pooped on his mattress you know like

it was a tuesday it's what we did but everything's fine i was yeah it was it was just so bizarre to watch like and that's the word that kept coming to mind when i was watching i was like this is just so bizarre her her behavior seemed bizarre to me. Yeah. And again, it's one of those things we, I don't think we were planning on not talking about it anymore, but now she's out there,

she's doing press. She's giving us more to respond to. Is she getting paid for this press? Does she get paid for that? Or is this more like, I doubt it. It's a, to,

to, to today's show. So like, I mean, unless they made some sort of special arrangement, usually that stuff is not it would be a bad look I think

also if it was found out she got paid to do it don't you think well her lawyer said she couldn't pay it so she's gotta

start earning yeah that's what I'm like isn't she but she's still like flying PJs and renting $25,000 a month houses yeah so maybe that's why you can't afford it she used to be my like ultimate girl But she's still like flying PJs and renting $25,000 a month houses.

Yeah. So maybe that's why you can't afford it. Yeah. She used to be my like ultimate girl crush too. Like I'm trying to remember the movie she was in, but I'm blanking. But like 10 years ago. Yeah. And now I'm like, oh.

Got to find a new one. Yeah. What are you going to do? Yeah. What are we going to do? Did you guys see that Pete Davidson and Kim are on vacation? Yeah, and they dyed their hair the same color. I'm obsessed with them.

If you would have asked me, are they going to be in a real relationship, I would have said absolutely no. Am I an asshole that I don't think it's going to last? No. But they've been together for a long time. What's a long time? I don't know. In my standard. So you also don't think it's going to last? You think that's a long time? I don't know. In my standard. So you also don't think it's going to last.

You think that's a long time? Because they've been together for four months and they've been together forever. They've literally been together for just a few months. That's so cute. Not long to me. I am not surprised by any relationship ending. So you're not an asshole for saying that. You're just saying the probably obvious.

So you're not an asshole for saying that. You're just saying the probably obvious. What's something that you and Jason have to prioritize working on that's something like, hey, maybe it's something you've thought about or something you realize your personalities have found something that you don't always see eye to eye that you have to actively both kind of come to some sort of compromise? I think it's, well, there's a few things. Oversharing, I think, is one.

I think he's like... He would prefer you not to overshare. I also weirdly, I can be guilty of that too. Well, it's part of who we are and we have you know jason's podcast is obviously like it's based on like one certain thing it's like money and finances and how did you get here and blah blah where ours is kind of like talking about like life and things we've gone through or having an opinion and he just does it about his podcast is he knows what he's talking about or I'm like,

I don't know what the hell I'm going to talk about today or we'll just see what comes out of my mouth after a few glasses of wine. Hell yeah. And I think he's definitely gotten better at accepting that at first. It was like, Oh, I don't, I don't know if I'm,

this is going to work because he just wants everything a little more private. Now he's like classic Caitlin. That, that's probably one thing. Um, but we both, this is something we talked about on Sean and Andrew's, Sean Johnson and Andrew's podcast is that we both prioritize our work so much and we're both so independent and like to the point where we actually have to make, like sit down and be like, Oh,

we have not made time for each other. And like, that's been okay with us when that shouldn't be okay. And that's the both of us. Yeah. So it's not like that we disagree on that. That's just something that we have to like make a conscious choice. Also something I,

last time I went on Jason's podcast and him and I grabbed lunch, I, something I noticed because he kind of made a comment like that. And I noted it because I was impressed by it because to me it told me that I think sometimes we're afraid to even acknowledge that there are things about our partners that aren't our favorite or that, you know, or that are just human. You know, sometimes we like to like oversell things. And the way Jason talked about you, to me it said it's like he really accepted who you were, for better or worse, and mostly obviously for the better but i i it seemed like he you know like when you know someone really accepts the person you know that they're there that's a

healthy relationship yeah because we've both been in i think relationships where it's like you love someone you love each other but you're like i don't know if you really love everything about me or or not like everything but i don't know if you accept everything about you love each other but you're like i don't know if you really love everything about me or or not like everything but i don't know if you accept everything about you love me but you don't like me yeah yeah yeah and it seemed like jason really liked you i guess yeah i know it sounds weird you know what i'm saying but like but that's a thing that we you take for granted and then everyone really likes their partner over time. Because you can fall in love and you can be in love and you can genuinely love the person.

But after time, sometimes people are just like, I just don't like you anymore. But you've been through so much with them that you love them deep down, but you don't like them anymore. And you stay together because you've been together for so long. Yeah. Yeah. Speaking of for better or for worse, Britney Spears is now married. Oh, my God. What a wedding. What a wedding.

What a wedding. And they're so, they're like, what a guest list too. Like so many people there. So I wanted to ask, I was like, if you guys could have one person, like celebrity. Well, yeah. Cause like Britney Spears. Like who would you invite to your wedding? She invited Selena Gomez who she had never met. She'd never met her?

No. And I love that because Britney Spears is like, who she had never met. She'd never met her? No. And I love that because Britney Spears is like, I'm Britney Spears. I can kind of invite anyone in the world, and I have a pretty decent chance of them showing up. 100%. Right? Yeah. Even maybe the Pope might be like, I don't know. Francis is in the middle of the dance floor, ready to go.

Maybe he's like, it's toxic fan. I'm like toxic, you know, I don't know. Do you think Britney Spears knows like she's Britney Spears? Yes. Okay, because she had said on an Instagram post recently that she was like, oh, sometimes I just have to sit back. Or she goes, I sat back at my own wedding and realized who I was. And I was like. Well, i think that

just means she has humility yeah and she doesn't walk around every day like i'm fucking britney spears see i would but i think she also recognizes that i can invite people i'm fans of yeah who i've never met and they might show up you know 100 oh my gosh selena gomez getting that invite was probably like so honored. Oh my God. You know how Mila Kunitz and Ashton watch The Bachelor? I think they would go to your wedding. They were at this F1 party and they were like, it's so nice to meet you.

And I was like, me? And I was like, yeah, they're coming to my wedding. Mila's in my bridal party. I believe, yeah. Yeah. Hell yeah. They are huge Bachelor fans. Huge, yeah. That's awesome. I believe, yeah. Yeah. Hell yeah. They are huge bachelor fans. Huge. Yeah.

That's awesome. It was, it was a moment. I definitely soaked in for far too long. Why did Britney Spears' ex show up? God only knows.

Do we know why? Wait, what? God only knows. Yeah. Why do I not know this? Her ex-husband crashed the wedding and got like arrested.

Well, because they, they had a restraint. I thought they had a restraining order against him. Which ex? She never married Kev. Oh.

I don't think. But no, her first husband, who I forgot about. The Vegas wedding? I forgot his name, but I did recognize his face when they showed a picture. I'm like, oh yeah, she did marry that guy. Jared? No. Am I wrong?

Jason Alexander. They were married for about 55 hours in 2004. Yes. He crashed her wedding? Yeah. Yeah. He was arrested and charged with trespassing and battery after crashing her wedding. What a great way of reminding people you didn't win the breakup.

That's just embarrassing because what did you think was going to happen? Wait. Did you guys see the video about all of them singing Vogue? And people were like, this is so cringe. And I'm like, are you kidding me? I have that on repeat. It's like my alarm when I wake up. You didn't see that?

Britney Spears could do whatever she wanted. Like I don't care what her, she had like a little Cinderella shoe. Oh my gosh. And her little choker on her necklace. I'm still a big believer that secondhand embarrassment is not a real thing. Really? I get it all the time for people. I get it about myself sometimes.

I think back to things I've said. You're going to hate what I say next. Okay. I'm scared. Because I think secondhand embarrassment, when you feel it, is a reflection of you. And it's a reminder that,

well, it would embarrass you, not them. So it's an insecurity you have about a situation they're doing, but that person doing it is confident about what they're doing. They might not feel embarrassment and your embarrassment is a you problem,

not a them problem. So like your embarrassment you feel is embarrassment for yourself that you couldn't handle that situation. I'm going to disagree with you on this because I see where you're coming from. And I don't get secondhand embarrassment for someone if they feel confident

in what they're doing. It's more of if someone trips and falls on their face, I get secondhand embarrassment. Or if like, it's not, I like when people have confidence to do anything. I feel like it's more of like, if somebody did something that they're embarrassed about,

I get embarrassed for them. If they're like, I'm embarrassed and they say I'm embarrassed, then I think you can have secondhand embarrassment for them. But you can't say, I'm so embarrassed for this person. Okay, I guess I don't disagree with you.

You see that a lot on the internet. I'm so embarrassed for this person. Why? They're not? They're not. They're thriving. Okay, I see where you're coming from. I think that's an important distinction though. yeah but yes if someone's out there saying i'm embarrassed then yeah i was telling gabby at cma fest i was like i have like when she had to go out again i said i

have secondhand anxiety for you because i would be anxious in that position. So I get where you're coming from and it makes sense. Yeah. And that was you like having PTSD about knowing. That was a me problem. Yes. Geico must pay a Missouri woman $5.2 million after she caught HPV from unprotected sex with her then boyfriend and his insured automobile. I'm going to need you to read that one more time.

Geico must pay a Missouri woman $5.2 million. How is it that much? After she caught HPV from unprotected sex. I have a couple questions. I have so many questions. I was under the impression that women can test for HPV, but it's hard to know who you got it from since so many people have it. How were they able to prove that this person was in fact... Unless she didn't have it and then has the records and then after...

Short of her being like a virgin or knowing... But she could have done like a panel, like a blood test panel beforehand and she could have done one again after. But how do we know how many partners... And also like how does she know that he had it? And also... If he was the only person she slept with in between testing. Can you even test for... Can you Google this?

Can like you... Can men test for HPV? I was under the impression that... That's a good question. That they couldn't. Why 5.2 million? No, there is currently no approved test for HPV in men. See? So how can they

even prove that he gave it to her? I hate that. Fuck that. So we're just stuck with it? A cup of coffee? Yeah, the burn. Why does she need that much? Would you get HPV for $5.2 million? I mean, what are the symptoms?

I know. What is it? Well, it's my understanding. Well, I mean, technically, it's where general warts derives from. But there's also- I don't think you- Most people with HPV don't have any symptoms. Yeah, most people.

Then there's so many different strands does it affect your um you can get cervical cancer from it okay yes but there's also cures now they have you can it's highly treatable now my search history is screwed yeah that's my google history is there's no cure for HPV no matter what gender you are. However, with regular testing, your nurse or doctor can find abnormal cells in your cervix and treat them before they turn into cancer. And most HPV infections go away on their own and don't cause any serious health problems. I mean, $5.2 million. So would you take the risk for 5.2 mil?

That is such a great question. No. It just doesn't seem right i i actually wouldn't if i really put my now i'm logical brain on the spot here no because what if i did get cervical cancer or what if i couldn't have babies or something and then i'm like cool but i have five million dollars like that's not worth it yeah that's a difficult that's a most men can't get tested for it so they don't know if they have so they're just out here spreading it without any ramifications that's rude also i'm enraged i thought you were doing like a geico ad i was like wow okay we're doing that going right into a guy well i thought about we wanted you to be here

for an ad read sounds like Geico won't be sponsoring this podcast anytime soon, but State Farm might give us a call. Geico was an ad on mine for a while, but not anymore. I have Geico. Oh, who knew they would pay me so much money? Well, actually, I mean, I feel like they shouldn't have had to pay

for that. That has nothing to do with the car. It has nothing to do with the insurance. Wait, I didn't even think about that part. How is Geico responsible for that. This just seems like not... That has nothing to do with the car. Yeah, that is... It has nothing to do with the insurance. Wait, I didn't even think about that part. Geico... How is Geico responsible for that?

Why... I don't know. Does it say? It happened in the car that was... The car itself was insured and they had sex in the car. Well, it's like one of those

like home insurance. So if I get HPV in my home? Yeah. Well, yeah. Yeah. Well, if you come over to my house and let's say you trip

and fall at my house, regardless of whether it's my fault or not, you could get my home insurance to pay for your medical bills. My parents used to make kids sign waivers before they jumped on my trampoline. Yeah. No, yeah, sure. That's awesome. 100%.

My friend's parents got rid of the trampoline because they're like, we don't want to ask everyone to sign. Yeah. But it makes sense. Should we take all this wit and knowledge and help someone out? Time for texting office hours? Maybe it's the woman from the car. Let's do it. How's it going?

Good. How are you guys? Good. Good. I am Sarah. I'm 29. I reside in South Dakota. And I am just needing some help figuring out exactly where I stand with a guy that I've

had some history with. Okay. And then what's the goal of the text that you want to send? I mean, really the goal is ultimately just to know, I determined that I do like this person. I think that there's a liking back, but I think at this point to determine just where we're at. Really, that's just kind of what it's been. It's been a few months that we've been talking and I really just kind of am wanting to get there without trying to be too pushy or intrusive. I want to play it cool, but I also kind of want to put myself out there and make sure I'm not wasting my time. Okay. Give us a little background about this relationship.

Okay. I got a promotion at my job last November, which required some training. And so we did some Zoom training. He actually works for my same company. However, he resides on the other side of the country. And so as part of our region, we go out there. I went out individually for training for three nights and every night he took me out to dinner or to go by the ocean, to the beach, things like that. And it was a great time. Casual texting when I returned. Later, my whole team for work had to go back out there for a work event. And he was there again.

Again, very interested. Kind of hung around me the whole time. Really showed interest in getting to know me and just kind of spend that time together. And continuous texting. And he has asked me to come visit him. Really like him. He's very highly thought of within my company. He's a hard worker, down to earth person, super calm and understanding as far as what I'm getting. He's the same age, 29, just bought his own home. And so, you know, I'm in the same boat. I live

here. I own my own home. You know, we're both kind of set in our ways. However, I think we both are at the point we're looking for something a little more serious. Obviously, the distance thing takes a play. However, at this point, I've exhausted many options locally. And I just think that it's something I would be really frustrated with if I didn't pursue. with if I didn't pursue. So I'm trying to send that text where it's, you know, like I said, I figured out that I like you and I just kind of want to feel how maybe you're feeling again. At this point, it's more or less not that we need to date necessarily. It's the fact that like, should I be not seeking other people and kind of just remain true to you? Okay. Did you guys hook up right away? We did. Yeah. The first time I was there, we had spent two nights just together the third night. We did. And then when I went back again, he stayed at my hotel. And how do you feel about the state of relationship now in terms of like the consistency? Is it still pretty ongoing or consistent or? Definitely. Yeah. I mean, we text every day. It's very here and there. I mean,

hours go by, that type of thing. We're both busy with our line of work and things like that. And again, it's not something I need you texting me 24 seven. But I think as far as conversations go very light, they flow very easily. It's not like it's something we're having to pick at. And again, you know, he's inviting me out there just a couple of times actually. And the first time it didn't work. And now this time we're actually actively trying to plan something, but that's another concern is what do I do when I get out there? You know, is this a conversation I want to have prior to being in person? Um, or is it just something I'm, I'm ready to put myself out there by a plane ticket and say it to your face type of thing. But, um, why, you know, the other thing too, is why would I want to go out there if I

don't really even know how you're feeling or what you're feeling? Or if I don't go out there for a whole nother month, are you going to bars with girls and are you doing other things? Or maybe here, I'm just sitting and waiting. Are you exhausting your options locally? That was my favorite line that anyone's ever said. I've exhausted my options locally, but, but so D does he know where you stand and you don't know where he stands or is you both just haven't really gone that sounds like she she wants to let him know where she stands okay and then subsequently find out where he's doing more like my thought is yeah because again i i want obviously for you to match my energy and where i'm at too because if it's not that's okay

you know i can walk away and just remain friends or however it is and see you at work events. But the other aspect too is, um, you know, some of the things that are said, are you inviting me to come to your home? Like, those are just things that I just don't think as a friend are being done. And so I think the, the way he talks and wants to be involved with me shows that the feelings are there. Um, but again, even after that first hookup, which was months ago, um, none of it was ever really addressed. You know what I mean? We never talked about like, oh, like we hooked up. Like, does this mean something. You saw him one other time at another work trip. Since then, he has asked for you to come out. You haven't gone yet. You're thinking about going out.

But in the meantime, you know that you are interested in exploring this relationship and you want to make that clear to him. That's where we're at. Yes. And you're not sure whether you should send him a text now, a FaceTime, wait till you go, et cetera, et cetera. Yeah. I mean, that's where I'm at too is, you know, I, you know, a lot of things, I think girls are trying to put this stigma out there that they don't want to come off as crazy or too pushy, but I mean, I'm 29 years old and

I'm really to the point where I can have adult conversations and I would much rather do that rather than wasting my time. You know, I'm figuring out this scenario in my head, like, oh, I know he likes me the same way I do. And then that definitely just falls apart. You know, that's what I'm trying to avoid. Yeah. Let's, let's, before we give any, I mean, I have like a re-answer, an answer based off the information you gave me, but let's do a, maybe a dramatic read first and read your text message that you sent, if that's okay with you. Okay. He said, oh, congrats. It's been painful, but starting to be worth it. It's a, I said, oh, congrats.

It's been painful, but starting to be worth it. It's a cool 100 degrees right now. Thumbs up. Okay, like stop. It was just 52 degrees on my way home. That looks amazing. Is that the new house? Yep, it's the new place.

It's hot, but I enjoy the heat. This guy likes weather talk. As long as I have water and some AC, I'm good. Low maintenance man. What is he, a dog? You need to leave the radio on for him while you go to? That's why I'm saying you have to come out! Exclamation point. You already know I'll come.

I just need to know when you're available to keep me entertained. Pretty much any weekend. Ha ha. And you could even bring your laptop if you wanted to make it an extra day or two we will just have to plan it out oh interesting interesting that he's already open to you extending the trip yeah that is i noticed that too because usually it's more like we'll see how much you come for like 24 hours and then we'll like you know yeah just enough time to have some sex yeah yeah going can

buy okay i'll take a look at some flights tomorrow and give you a few options yeah sounds good okay about a week later a week later is that was there any other communication going on in between or yeah so there is like i said we i mean we do talk daily but i would say exchanges are like three to four texts probably a day like that's how much okay are you guys facetiming at all no really interesting all right so anyways stay on the west coast so you don't have to worry about being killed by weather nine's month of the year a lot of weather a lot of weather talk okay um haha that's valid point. I'm just used to it by now. Lol.

Did you decide to head back to Cali tonight? Yep. Just left 30 minutes ago. Should be there in a few hours. You all ready to go? Okay, thank you. Nice. Yeah, all packed and ready to just be there already.

LOL. At least I have a direct flight this time. Are you talking about flying out to him or flying out somewhere else? That was when I was flying out there for the work event. Gotcha. Okay. Let me know when you guys make it to the OC. Make it to OC. I'm officially in OC just on the way to the hotel. Nice. I have a feeling I'm

never going to be able to get out of here. LOL. Cut off. You say kind of. I found out last night that my grandpa's cancer spread to his bones and they don't know how much time he has left. So this morning I, kind of. I found out last night that my grandpa's cancer spread to his bones, and they don't know how much time he has left. So this morning, I was kind of a mess and went to the office to get my laptop to work from home, but I ended up staying there until this afternoon and then got home and worked more. I guess I kind of got a lot done, but it was a

hard day. Sorry. OMG, I'm so sorry. Front emoji face if i'm always here if you ever need to just talk or anything i'll keep him in my thoughts and prayers so that was yesterday yesterday um see i would have like called you immediately to see if you're okay and you yeah but i'm also you know not him i think it's okay that he didn't do that really yeah okay Yeah. Okay. I mean, I wasn't offended by any means. And the fact that he said like thoughts in Paris, like I'm a religious person. So that meant a lot to me. Yeah. And just his response in general, I was like, you know, some people would just be like,

oh, I'm sorry to hear that type thing. Like, I feel like he went in detail. But the little snippet. Him just letting you know that he's there to listen. Yeah. I thought it was. Yeah. How long has it been since you guys first hooked up um it was the end of march so almost three months here here's

what i think i i get your logic about like i don't want to waste my time and fly out there if it's not going to be a thing i think there's it's never a bad time just let someone you know you like them so if you really want to do that i don't think that's bad however i do think like you might be it's hard to do it in a way that might not make him feel a pressure to say the thing you he thinks he might you might want him to say knowing that he might he there's a good chance he might not feel like he knows enough about you about you to to say that he wants to make a long distance relationship thing work right well in all fairness i feel the same way i mean you know the times i've gone out there it's like this exciting thing i'm on vacation and it's so much fun and it's beautiful and that type of thing and i don't want this hype of like

us knowing each other to just be this like super high road. But I agree, like, I don't know him enough either. But again, I think it's to the point where I know enough about the person that you are to want to invest and get to know you, where is it? But him not feeling that way exactly as you doesn't mean he doesn't like you and doesn't mean he like this could be something great right you've also acknowledged that like being in south dakota like you've felt like you've exhausted your options he's living in a maybe more populated part of the country and he feels there are more options and people who feel like they have more options are a little bit like you you know more like less committal where like you might be feeling like fuck it like why

not give this guy a shot like it's it's the best thing i've enjoyed in the past six to twelve months i don't know so i guess what i'm saying is like what's the downside if the worst thing that happens is you fly out to see him and you guys don't end up dating maybe you have a fun week and some good sex whatever but like i think you might be running the risk of applying a little bit too much pressure on the situation with like just putting it out on the table in the meantime since you are only texting i think throwing out hey how about we have like a facetime date on friday yeah you know we'll pour out some wine maybe we'll put on our favorite movie we've both seen i don't know whatever the fuck you talk about whatever but like you know what i'm saying like you make it a date right you're

like i you know i like talking to you is it you know and you can say like i don't know if this sounds weird but like do you want to like a facetime date because like i like i like talking with you and until i get to see you and just focus on making it like a date like any other date like don't think about you wanting to let him know that you like him. In fact, what you should do on any early date is to like, say, you know what? I think I like him. I want to tell him I like him, but I'm just going to take this date at face value. And I want to learn more about him because you might find that you don't like him. He might say something weird or something. I don't know.

So it sounds like there's more things you can do in between them to get to know him and build that rapport so that if you do fly out there at the end of the weekend, you can decide for yourself if you still feel the way you do now. And if you do, then I highly suggest that you, before you go at the end of your trip, right before like he's about to take you to the airport, you just say exactly what you think. And that is just going to, I want to tell you something. I don't even need you to respond. You can think about it for a while, but I've really enjoyed my time with you. I like you. And I know long distance, and I'm not saying we should like be in the serious thing, but I've really enjoyed my time with you. I like you and I know long distance and I'm not saying we should like be in the serious thing, but I do know I like you

and I'd like to like see where this goes. And I'd like, and if you're interested, let me know because I think there's something here and I think it's cool and we can go from there. And you don't even ask, you don't ask what are we or what this, you just tell him that and then you get on your flight and then you let him know that no matter what he decides you're going to be totally fine yeah i yeah i love that i feel like you guys are on the same page like i from what i'm getting

or gathering is that you two are actually pretty much on the same page like you're like yeah i'm taking it for what it is and he's taking and you both like each other and you want to see each other but i think what guys like is and nick please tell me if i'm wrong um they like to know that you want to know what they're thinking not how they're feeling so like instead of being like how do you feel you you you um ask like what he's thinking about it guys just don't like to be asked how they feel they like to be appreciated for their thoughts like what do you think about this instead of how are you feeling about this women like feelings guys like their thoughts i never thought of it that way i don't think that makes a lot of sense but i also think it goes like also you just telling them what you're thinking like yeah it allows you to keep your power so to speak because, because I think it's a common misconception that putting yourself out there makes you feel like you're crazy or crazy.

Fragile and crazy. No, it's just like you're just saying, I want to tell you something because this is how I feel. I'm not all that interested. You don't even need to respond. In fact, I'd prefer you really just think about it for a second. And a good way to do that between now and then is remind yourself that you still have a lot to learn because people make the mistake of being in your shoes and going, I know I like him

and I haven't experienced this with before. And then from now until you see him or get a chance to tell him how you feel, a lot of people in your shoes are just going to be worried about how they feel about you. And I think if you go on these FaceTime dates or whatever, and you tell yourself, all right, we'll see what I learned about this. We'll see. We'll see how it goes. And be open to not liking him. Well, not only allow you to learn who he is, but it will maintain a little bit of that power.

And like dating is a game. If you don't do that and you spend the next, you know, couple of weeks hoping he likes you as much as you like him, he'll feel that energy. Even if you don't communicate it, you will like, you'll, you'll ask what's wrong or you'll always check in with him. You don't need to check in with him at all. I mean, you can if you feel compelled by it. But, you know, I would take this opportunity to just keep getting to know him. Okay. Yeah, I absolutely agree. And I think that that's the one thing, too, I found a little bit harder with having such sparse text messages is like it's not as easy to get to know somebody. But I think your suggestion of FaceTime and just kind of getting that more one-on-one connection is going to go a long way and it's going to probably

just open my eyes more whether it's a positive or negative thing but i guess that's where i'm at that's what i'm looking for is figure out so i think the text you send is random idea how about what what day is it what's today monday oh shit my sweater literally says what day is it like a when couldn't they do a wednesday night like yeah yeah even better like a random idea like how about a facetime date tonight or uh this week yeah i'd say this week and then he can get back to you with yeah that's like fair right so like an open yeah how about a facetime date this week see what he says if he let's say if he's like what's a facetime date everyone knows i don't know the guys are stupid yeah but they're not

not tech savvy i know like they probably know i'm just i'm just trying to think of all possibilities um yeah you probably will just say sounds great yeah um but like yeah just be like i thought we would uh maybe like maybe we just like crack do you guys have wine drink do you drink does caitlin need to send you some wine okay i'll send you guys wine i'll send you a bottle and him a bottle and you can open it at the same time and that could be yep i'm doing it nailed it matchmaker that would be so great okay so you do you do that. Yep. Bonus. Yep. What a win for you.

And yeah, and then you could keep it open-ended, like playing stupid things like this or that or like random conversations, get to know each other, be like, you know, it's literally the same thing you do on a date except you don't get to bang at the end. Well, there's face time sex you can do that too yeah like you know that's underrated don't i'm not i'm just yeah don't knock face time sex don't knock it till you try it but okay i agree with everything that you're saying and i you always give really good dating advice i mean that's why you have this podcast but yeah, yeah. But I always think I'm going to come in and be like, well, I think this.

But no, I agree with everything that Nick said. And I feel like you're approaching it with the right mindset too. I feel like you know that you have your own power and that you're like, if it works out, great. But how do you – okay, this is what I was going to ask. How do you feel about a long distance relationship? Are you fine with that? If that's what it turns into? So that's the other thing, obviously, I've been contemplating about even this whole situation.

And the first part of me was like, screw it. Like, just figure out if you like him, figure out like, you know, when he invites you out there, how it goes and like that type of thing. But in all reality, like it's, I'm investing my time, right. To try and have that type of end goal, you know, as far as keeping it fun and light and that type of thing. But in reality, like, okay, what, what the hell will this turn into type thing? Um, I'm open to it. I mean, for, I've never done it. Um, you know, that type of thing. I've always had people that have just lived where I live and just been together. The, one of my faults probably is that I get very caught up in people's lives.

You know what I mean? I don't make my own plans because I'm focused on like you are plans together, like that type of thing. I have a very driven career that I'm, you know, just got that promotion into. So I'm really like feeding into that. I'm going on like a new health journey. So I'm making time for myself to work out and do types of things that I never have in 29 years.

And so I do feel like this is one of those opportunities for me to deep dive in those other things, look forward to buying a plane ticket and seeing someone and just really just feeling it out as it goes. You know what I mean? I don't, I don't want to have this label or expectation on any of it at this point. I do want to obviously make sure that we are compatible and like each other and that type of thing. But that's the other thing I feel is like, I feel like it's almost like a, like a very like invigorating thing. Like this could be something that really works for me because I'm not so like sucked into someone else's life and like our plans and what we're doing.

It's a little more planned out, a little more structured, but I still get to be home focusing on myself and he gets to do the same as far as his career and things go too. I think long distance relationships, especially as they start off can be home focusing on myself and he gets to do the same as far as his career and things go too yeah i i i love that i think long distance relationships especially as they start off can be they're a blessing a real positive for those reasons that like it forces you to slow things down even though you're because early on you're like it's hard to like you know when you're excited about someone to to do that and then having your all these things in your life that you're prioritizing, like you said, you can maintain,

which only makes you more attractive to someone else. People like busy people. And listen, it's a good problem to have if you realize that you guys like each other. You know, then someone might have to move eventually. But that'll be, again, a good problem to have. And you're not wasting your time if you go out there and it doesn't work. Everyone always thinks that dating or like if the person isn't right, it's wasting your time.

But I always think of dating like house hunting. Like you're going to learn what you like, what you don't like. And that's okay. Like you're going to learn so much from even if it's only three months. All right. So you're going to send them a text telling them that you want to do a FaceTime date. And just do me a favor. As a fellow overthinker, and feel like i can i can see my

kind uh try not to uh try not to think about too much whether uh how he feels about you because okay you've said a couple things well i think he if i if he says it does this amazing fuck that it's not really it's not really a priority right now. Your priority is how you feel about him. He'll let you know, you know, through these dates. And, and then when at the end of this weekend trip, then wake up, think about how you feel. And if you still want to give it a shot, then just tell him. Okay. I said, Hey, random thought thought what if we did a facetime date sometime this week uh instead of what if we did why don't we just say how about a facetime date

this week how about a facetime date this week and i would take out the sometime so this week yeah what day is it monday monday how about a facetime date this week hey random thought how about facetime date this week how about a facetime date this week can't be dropping our dropping game yeah no no no good job yeah we're proud of you god i wanted to respond i wanted to respond so bad because especially if it's been three months and you haven't had a facetime i'm so curious what i i'm just such a facetimer like i would or even a call yeah something like i mean we've is had very, very brief phone calls, but it hasn't been random. It's been about when I was going out there, he called me. He's like, are you here yet? That type of little thing. It hasn't been while I've been at home.

Yeah, we got to start that. I feel like you're really good at conversation and you like to talk, which I'm the same. Is he like that or is he more shy? No, he's very talkative. And that's why when he took me out those first few nights and we went to dinner and things like that, like we didn't do a lot of like getting to know like personal questions type like 21 questions things. But it was like the conversation was flowing. Like both were talking. It was very open, very light. I mean, it wasn't like moments of silence or awkwardness by any means. Okay.

Well, that's a great sign. Damn, I hate that he's not writing back. Are you in your office i mean it was been a minute it has been a minute yeah he hasn't i don't know i could be on a call it's the middle of the day okay fair enough is he on his phone a lot for work everyone is yeah i mean he is but that's kind of where it comes in he's very um he's very dedicated to his work which is very attractive and that's a very great thing. But definitely when it comes to more casual talking and things, it kind of makes it harder.

Yeah. All right. Well, we didn't get an immediate response. But you'll email us, hopefully, with the update. Yeah. I'll give you – if he replies, when he replies, I'll give you guys something. And we want to know how the date itself went, too. Okay.

Still nothing, huh? No, not yet, huh? No, not yet. All right. Well, Godspeed. Yeah. Yes.

Thank you guys. All right. Keep us posted. All right. I'll give you an update. Yay. All right. Bye.

Caitlin. What a pleasure. Thanks for coming. Are we done? Unless you have something you want. Should we just keep going? Give us some i'm just this is i wish i had tea i mean i do but i don't want to talk about it

so that doesn't help it. Oh, me. That's not true. I'm just kidding. This is my problem. Anytime I think about people in Bachelor Nation, I blank. I'm like, I don't remember last season.

I don't even remember who was on last season, the season before, who was the last season and I start blanking on names. Is there anything you just really want to get off your chest

that if I ask the right question, you would, you know? Yeah, no. If I had two more of these, I'd be like. We know someone in the wine industry. We can make it happen. Because I have to go record my own. I don't need a Nick got Caitlin drunk.

I'll sue you for Geico from the studio. Yeah. Are you insured? I better be probably Jesus yeah alright well

well thank you gotta send you off thanks for having me always a pleasure it was a pleasure and thanks for drinking my wine with me before noon yeah hell yeah

it's great thanks for listening guys don't forget to send in those questions at asknick at castmedia.com Sharna and her lover, Brian Austin Green, are with us tomorrow to talk about their relationship, their love story, their co-parenting dynamics with Brian's ex.

You may know her as Megan Fox. They were great. Really fantastic. They were lovely. Lovely. Really great conversation with the both of them so you will definitely not want to miss that all right bye all right bye