The Viall Files - E437 Nick Lehmann - Beyonce & Ketchup Kids

Episode Date: June 21, 2022

Welcome back to The Viall Files: Bachelor Gossip Edition! Today on our freestyle episode, we are joined by writer, actor, and comedian Nick Lehmann to jump into the latest craziness in pop culture. On this episode we talk about Nayte and Michelle’s devastating breakup, how various voices from Bachelor Nation feel about there being two bachelorettes, and Zac’s online clapback to a troll spreading lies. We also talk about the dynamics of growing up as a “ketchup kid”, Cheryl Burke revealing that she’s never had an orgasm from sex, the importance of listening to the needs of your partner, how Airbnb has gotten creepy, Drake’s new album, Beyonce’s new song dropping at midnight, and Charlie Sheen’s daughter creating an OnlyFans. We then welcome on our Texting Office Hours caller who wonders how strong the promise of a marriage pact really is once tested against the strain of time. She wonders how the dynamics change when two people that are emotionally connected but not dating, start dating other people.  “A crush sounds temporary.” Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to [e-mail] to be a part of our Monday episodes.  Pre-Order Nick’s Book: https://www.abramsbooks.com/product/dont-text-your-ex-happy-birthday_9781419755491/ Check out our new "Introvert" merch at http://www.viallfiles.com today! THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: Peloton: The Peloton Bike+ is now $500 less, its best price yet! Including FREE delivery and setup. And there are more game changing prices available on the original Peloton Bike and Peloton Tread. Visit http://www.OnePeloton.com to learn more.  Fetch Rewards: Download Fetch now and use code VIALL and get 3000 points on your first receipt! → https://fetch.thld.co/viall_0622 Wondery: Listen to Even The Rich on Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. Or listen ad-free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app.  Episode Socials:  @viallfiles @nickviall @nicklehmann @nickstoptalking  If you are experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or go to thehotline.org. All calls are toll-free and confidential. The hotline is available 24/7 in more than 170 languages. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

what's going on everybody welcome back to a new and exciting episode of the vile files freestyle edition i'm your host nick joined by am in studio Allie is at her home because apparently she got the vid again one more time again again meanwhile Amanda and I can't get it like doesn't like us

knock on wood we're gonna give each other COVID does knock on wood work for COVID? That's the new vax. The CDC is now saying people who knock on wood are allowed to not wear masks. The gentleman you hear

is my dear friend Nick Lehman. Hello. Welcome, Nick. Thank you so much for having me. I found Nick. Discovered. Discovered Nick on Twitter, I think. Maybe. I don't know. I have a lot of annoying tweets. I found Nick discovered discovered Nick on Twitter I think

maybe I don't know I have a lot of annoying tweets I'm sure they're out there pandemic content content and then Nally and I ran into you at a

Paul Smith event Paul Smith event yeah and then we became fast friends yeah Nally and you became fast friends

and then and then I invited you on my podcast. We recorded an entire episode. It was probably the best episode that ever existed. It was amazing. And for the first time ever, it turns out someone wasn't recording. And we lost an entire episode.

It was a very complicated audio issue that had to do with a national company that should be reliable. The simple explanation is someone forgot to press record. That's not true. Maybe I was just speaking too fast and they were like, we can't do this.

It has to go. It accidentally ended up in the trash. AI came to life and was like, uh-uh, not today. We were like, I don't know. We think we need a warm-up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll have him back another time.

So Nick is with us. Hello, hello hello thank you thank you for having me where should we start where do we want to start we start with some bachelor tea let's get it over with let's do it let's do it let's get it over with we obviously have the premiere coming up for those of you who don't know july 11th mark your calendars mark your calendars for the premiere and a subsequent recap. If we're viewing this in like a Catholic lens, we're nearing the end of ordinary time. There you go.

We are nearing the end of ordinary time. See, God always gets a shout out. And Lent is... That guy. Lent is a connoisseur. She's always here. He's always being recorded. That's for sure.

We're in the dark days of bachelor's. Sad news. Yes. To start us off. Nate and Michelle have broken up. And on Friday, she posted to her Instagram story. She said that having a relationship in the public eye has not been easy. I'm struggling to say that Nate and I will be going our separate ways, but I stand with him in knowing the heaviness that is present in both of our hearts as this relationship has been very real for us.

To you, Nate, you quickly became my best friend. Whoa, friend. And the love I have for you is incredibly strong. I will never stop wanting to see you succeed. I'm deeply hurting and will need time and space to work through this heartbreak. Are we surprised? Did we think they would make it? What happens to the 200 grand for their house now?

I have many questions. I know Michelle and Nate have some deeply passionate fans. We suggested that it's like their independent relationship when it comes to the history of Bachelor Nation doesn't have a good track record, but maybe they're different. Maybe they're different. And the passionate Michelle and Nate fans did not appreciate that take.

Did you get a lot of DMs? I know, but... Some scaries coming out of the woodwork. I saw one comment. I was like, what's wrong with this guy like i'm probably a lot yeah there's a list but uh not not about that i don't know about this yeah listen it sucks i mean like it uh having gone through what they've gone through it's not fun i mean um there is a lot of pressure and and the reality is is that there's when you break up with

someone publicly there's a lot of fears that you have. There's the loss of the relationship that you're dealing with it, which I'm sure is real. And then there's the, there's the fear of like, how does this affect your time on the show? What people are going to think of you now? And people can be critical of like, is that superficial or is that important? But like, whatever, like it's a human thing. I think Michelle is going to be more than fine. I think she'll be thriving for, especially as it relates to her, you know, bachelor nation. Do you think if she would have chosen Brandon at the end, would they still be together?

I mean, I don't hate that question from you, Allie. You have to ask the question, but I think it's an unfair question. I don't. No. Most likely, like, the lead only really likes one person and i say that as a two-time runner-up i'm sure she liked brandon i think she probably respected brandon i think

there was some chemistry there but i think the overwhelming majority of the time the runner-up was never their person and i i don't suspect uh michelle reaching out to to brandon and i brandon's on paradise i think right now spoiler alert i think so i think he's gonna be fine them working out had nothing to do with her not picking brandon or anything like that but yeah i mean listen it's a they're always a big leap of faith they're Joe. Maybe Joe with the basketball scenario that you pointed out. I don't think Joe either. Years down the line. Yeah, well, there was that one time I wanted them to get together,

but I don't think that's going to happen. You disagree. I don't think that's going to happen. Well, they're actually single, so anything could happen. Have you ever had a really nasty breakup that instilled you with a sense of shame? Yes, definitely. That we couldn't work through it

or why aren't we working through it? And, you know, I think it's like usually a mismatch and down the line you realize that it was never going to work out. But in those moments, that shame and the I can't believe we weren't able to do this and what's wrong with me, what's wrong with them, that internal battle is pretty ugly.

But then it's always nice getting to that point where you're like oh my god absolutely not yeah i wonder if we'll ever hear the real story about like nate and michelle because they kept things pretty private we didn't really see much of them and i'm really i'm curious if we'll ever hear the like who ended it who broke up with who what was it really about did they ever really feel like it had a chance you know that's entirely possible that like it just by the time the show ended it just you never really could get into the a groove of the relationship or maybe I wouldn't just i wouldn't be surprised if we never find out though yeah they keep it tight like locked lips and i do think there's a mutual respect that they

have for each other and if they have that that's and i don't see michelle saying anything and usually the guys don't because it never goes over i feel like there's like also culture now especially on tiktok of public figures who feel the need to like go into the full details of the story and i feel like it's always better to just be surface level about it because when it is like specific you did this he did this this is what happened january 23rd this is what went down blah blah blah it's a little bit like never goes well i am not your therapist but there's also there's also like a part with like reality tv personalities where things slow down and you're no one you're not getting as many interviews and all of a sudden you're like anyone here anyone hear me talk shit

and all of a sudden you get a little of attention so there's a little bit of that i don't suspect that you're gonna see that from michelle but but our hearts go out to both of them. Some exes that have previously been very closed down about their breakup. We finally have some sort of statement slash comment from Zach. He's really been very, very quiet after his breakup with Tasha. Not a lot of details were shared, but recently Tshia shared

some beach photos, some bikini photos on her Instagram and some like random troll account basically commented and said, I think you need to get over yourself. Remember when you dated Zach Clark and didn't constantly post selfies and boobs and bikinis of yourself. Yeah. Get back to that honey, because nobody cares that how fancy you think you are. You're still a girl from a reality show with a guy who cheated on you. Who's cheated on her? Well, he's implying that Zach did. So Zach actually commented back on Tayshia's post and he he said, congrats, you got me. My first and hopefully last clap back. Enough is enough. One of the problems with social media is it gives people like you a voice and unwarranted power. The truth is we see this shit. I see this shit. It is hard to avoid

and is just not nice, especially when you have no idea what you were talking about. Slash, you just make shit up. I struggle to see why you would be mean for no reason. Being kind is so much easier. So Tasha, F the noise and keep doing your thing. Wear the clothes you want to wear. Take the videos you want to take and keep shining. I know you and I know you to be a really good person. That's great. Good for Zach. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So like, where is the line? Do you think of where you just kind of like do hands off? We're not together anymore. Or like what caused Zach to respond to this? Cause I doubt this is the first time someone's dragged either of them in the comments. I mean,

maybe it's cause they accused him of being a cheater. There's that. Maybe that. I mean, listen, if you have a cordial relationship with your ex and you have an opportunity to defend an ex, great look. Yeah, he seems like a Prince Charming who's moving in here. It's also like, oh my God, I'm good and we're good. Visually, it looks very...

And I've never met Zach, but I've heard good things about him and he seems to be a really mature, level-headed person that despite however he might even feel about it, because maybe it's his sadness. Maybe he just feels sadness over the breakup. Or maybe he's... I have no fucking clue. Maybe they're just happy to be independent and have mutual respect. Well, they're maybe they're like just like happy to be independent and and have mutual respect but well they're both single right so as long as you're both single like i think if the

other person's in a relationship you just kind of bow out you don't need to be like defending them because then it then it kind of almost becomes like a weird thing yeah if i was his like if i was in a relationship with him and I was his girlfriend, I'd be like, what's going on here? Hello. Why don't you leave comments like this on my posts?

You know? Yeah. Have either of you ever had situations where an ex has been present in a purely platonic way, but while you had a current partner? What do you mean? A situation where you've had a friendship with an ex and

your partner at the time didn't feel comfortable with it or felt weird about it sure oh yeah yeah yeah especially and then and i feel like it always spirals into because it's like a self consciousness thing where then ex walks away partner's like i didn't like the way that that went i'm like well he was standing there so i wasn't gonna ignore him but yeah it's tough at first because you're just like also is there a history you know like i've i've had a couple women friends that like we became friends after we hooked up and like truly became platonic friends then it's like hey this is my so-and-so and then that there's always that question of like listen all i need to know is did you fuck you know like i only have one question

did you fuck yes okay that's all i need to know like maybe you don't have lunch with them yeah you know right right um or vice versa right and that's it i think that's always there's some awkwardness or some people just get a bad read from people. Definitely, but when you are the person who has the new partner and then the ex comes up, that feels good. Like, hey, I'm so glad you're doing well, but I'm doing really well. Yeah, have you met so-and-so?

My sparkling wonderful. It's just a random man who actually has no idea who I am. I'm just like, this is the love of my life. He's like, I do not know you, sir. So your sister is using Peloton to get ready for her wedding. She is indeed. Amazing. What's her favorite class? Well, she likes to do the strength training videos because she runs outside, but she wanted to also supplement it with strength. And the nice part is there's a range of times because sometimes, I mean, she's a doctor, she's running around.

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points when you scan your first receipt. This is a limited time offer for my viewers only. when you scan your first receipt. This is a limited time offer for my viewers only. The last thing is that Andy Dorfman has made a statement or was asked about the upcoming season of The Bachelorette. And she's not a huge fan of the fact that there's two Bachelorettes. She said, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't bummed that it's two women. I'd like to see two men go at it. I don't know.

It gives me a little sexist vibe that I don't really love. I know all these Bachelorette leads and what it takes to be on screen and to hold your own on a show and production and castmates. I have a lot of respect for those people. So I think I will show my support in that way. She made her point while it's still being very eloquent. Two bachelorettes. I think it's really about the execution.

Like I thought the Caitlin and Brit thing was like appalling. Like I was like, are you fucking kidding me? You found a way to take away the power of the bachelorettes by like making them like. Vote. Yeah. Like have to like get the approval of the men. Like that's insane given the whole premise of the show is that everybody is vying for the Bachelorette's approval.

So I think it depends on the execution of it. Do you think, would you like to see two Bachelors? And if so, would you like to see the women vote? I mean, for drama? Yeah, I was going to say, I'd be down for that. Yeah, I think you're right about the execution, though. I think it'd be fun. I think that would be great

and I also like give the women the power I'm down for that situation absolutely but I think having men vote against two women I don't ever like the idea of pitting two women against each other it feels a little messy but maybe it'll work out I'm down for two bachelors

one of these seasons should we do it? I'll go on with a bunch of guys. You go on with a bunch of girls. It makes absolutely no sense. Could be fun. Switch it up. Could be really fun. Honestly, what a house dynamic. But I do think that I mean, again, the show is

I think they're aware of that hurdle. And like we said, I think they've told Rachel and Gabby that they have to be best friends. So they'll oversell that. Have to. You like we said, I think they've told Rachel and Gabby that they have to be best friends. So they'll oversell that. You have to. You like each other. I think it's also hard because whoever is picked as the lead, whether it's a bachelor or bachelorette, it's usually because America is so invested in them finding love. And in a way, maybe we felt like their journey was cut short or there's something that they're really missing. So to go from rooting so hard for someone to a Caitlin and a Brit

situation where suddenly one of them is voted off, it's like a weird, wait, we were just supporting you and wanted you to find love. And now we've kicked you off night one. Well, and I will say to Andy's point, like Rachelachel and gabby it's like they both had these compelling stories they were two great picks so they picked them both but as a result of having to share the role like their screen time is drastically reduced like i i really don't know i i i don't think there's any way we're going to be able to watch the show as compelling as it might be and as interesting as it might be and by the end feel like we don't think there's any way we're going to be able to watch the show as compelling as it might be and as interesting as it might be. And by the end, feel like we don't really know anything about either of the relationships that they end up with.

Because there's just too much. And it begs the question, how much will they prioritize drama? Because I think that's always a line of discussion. They're not showing enough of the love stories. They're just showing bullshit in the house. And so how will they strike that balance when they have even more content to display i hope they prioritize the drama if i'm being honest is it the same amount of guys i think they have like a few more guys like 35 instead of 30 yeah because if i'm going against someone i'm like i want a couple more options yeah Please. Yeah. Moving on from Bachelor. Amber Heard's still chatting.

She's still talking. So we're still talking about her. Did you watch the interview? Her most recent interview, I did not. I've seen clips and headlines. But the way that I kind of feel about it is it's over.

I just don't know why she keeps going. It's not going. It't know why she keeps going. I think she keeps going because she wants. It's not going well. No. That's also what I'm confused about because every time it goes out, then more and more people disagree, are horrible, leave awful comments. I feel like you just kind of wanted to go away. And then she just keeps saying things that like don't add up.

There was this clip where she was asked about the video recording of, you know, she's like, well, you, she, you know, she you know she was in the interview it's like well i only reacted that's when i hit him and then the the transcript was read to her she's like well you admitted to starting it and then she said how like well you know it seems like she's always taught she seems like she's talking and like like talking points like bullet points and then she like for a moment like changed it and she said like, well, people who are abused, they don't have like privilege like you or I. And immediately like it sounded like weird,

like she removed herself from talking about victims and that part was actually edited out of the actual interview. It was in the clip. So even her team caught it. And it's just like a bad look. And it's just like, the more,

it's like when your lawyer tells you to stop talking, they tell you to stop talking for a reason. And she just keeps incriminating herself more and more. I don't know why she keeps going.

It's also just upsetting because I feel like the conversation and the relationship with other victims of abuse, then it makes it even more murky and it takes away, you know, not that nothing happened to her, but it just, I feel like it just takes the highlight away from what's important in the discussion. And that is where I have an issue

because there are so many in the discussion of privilege, you have a national platform, so many women can't even, and men can't even come out and have this conversation or go to anyone that they can trust with it. It's very messy. And I feel like it should go, it should be done. Yes. Yeah, we all, I don't know why. She said she was going to stop doing it,

but you're right. She's like, it's, and that's the one she keeps, she keeps reinforcing this idea that because of this verdict that other women won't be believed. And I just don't feel like that's a positive message to keep reinforcing. No, she's basically coming out and saying, don't tell your story. In a flipped kind of way. Yeah, in a way to garner sympathy for her story.

She's basically scaring people to believe that people won't believe their story. Which is the opposite of why she said she did it in the first place. So that's where I just am confused and frustrated. It feels reminiscent of a gambler who keeps losing and is sort of like double or nothing, like double or nothing. And I get, I don't know, if people hated me to the degree that they have showed so much vitriol for her I guess I

understand the instinct of continually trying to be like no but I'll fix it I'll fix it but when's the last time yeah when are you done when it's like she's heard everything I don't know it's just beating a dead horse I think totally there was this quote for her

interview the interview with Savannah Guthrie and they were talking about when Camille Vasquez said that she, well, she described Heard's testimony as the performance of a lifetime. And then Amber told Savannah, quote, says the lawyer for the man who convinced the world he had scissors for fingers. I'm the performer. But that's the thing. Did people really world he had scissors for fingers? I'm the performer? But that's the thing. I don't... Did people really think he had scissors for fingers? No.

Wait, so she's saying because he was in Edward Scissorhands? Yeah, it doesn't make sense. It's like for the man who was a pirate? Yeah, for the man whose career is in acting. Yeah, he is an actor. That is true. As is she, though. Yeah, I know, but that's what I'm confused about.

Yeah. That you're both pointing scissor hands at each other, you know? But yeah, and then she keeps talking about, she was quoting the Greeks when talking about free speech. It's all over the map. It's so much. I said this the last couple of weeks, but I understand Johnny Depp was a popular person and i understand like he has money and influence but there was a

period of time where no one believed him it wasn't like they all believed amber and it was because of this trial that shifted not because of his power and influence, you know, she keeps saying, well, I spoke truth to power. And I'm like, but no, it was because you got caught on tape admitting to hitting him and mocking him and calling him a baby. I think the big takeaway is like, yeah, it's just like, I think everyone just says, I think no matter what, everyone's just being like, stop.

Right. Whatever side you're on, even if you're on her side, they're probably suggesting she stops talking i don't think it's doing any good for anyone at this point no no no what else we got i don't know if you listen to drake oh it's a new drake album i heard oh wait i like it okay so i'm not huge into drake but my roommate put it on for me the other day and I was like, this album is for the girls and the gays. It's very disco like, ga ga ga ga ga, and

I was like, am I a Drake fan now? You could throw that on the club and I'd shake my ass for sure. I've heard one song, I thought it was okay, but I feel like a lot of the reactions haven't been super positive. It's because it's for the girls and the girls in the

game people like that i i don't know i i have i've not listened to it all i've only listened to a couple songs but for those i was like okay drake i kind of like this i did see a tiktok comment someone was like the uh he made the soundtrack to we sports that's what they were calling oh my god like the do do do do do-do-do-do-do-do. Exactly. Da-da-da. Yeah, that one. Can I ask you guys, would you rather have to listen to the same album for the rest of your life

or never be able to listen to like the same song again? Like constantly you just have to listen to new music. You can't go back to ones you love. Oh, I would do the one album. But that's because I have an obsessive personality.

That's a good one, though. I'm more like Nick. What album would it be? But it would be tough. Because you want it to have range. You know, you got to have a cry song. You got to have a shake your ass song. I think Leon had a really good album.

That's so surprising to me. I would do Beyonce, self-titled. Which, by the the way her single comes out tonight at midnight if you're listening it drops when this podcast drops so we are competing with beyonce's podcast i'm so sorry i might have to listen to hers first that's fine but no i'm i'm very excited it's been six years it It has been a while. 2016 was Lemonade. And I do not count her album with Jay-Z. And Black is King is great.

But this is her solo album. She's back. Renaissance. Lemonade was really good. Lemonade was great. I also feel like Beyonce was such a, she was like the bacon of performers in the sense that everybody was obsessed with her. Like the degree.

The bacon of performers. You know how everybody used to be like bacon and then it was like avocado. Like there's like a food that people will like go to bat for. Like I feel like Beyonce was like lauded universally

as like she is like the top. She's untouchable. She's completely untouchable. And I think she's coming back and she's coming for all of our next and it's going to be amazing. The beehive.

I'm so excited. July 29th Renaissance. I'm just a Beyonce walking ad. Is she like performing somewhere on tour? I'm sure she July 29th Renaissance I'm just a Beyonce walking ad is she like performing somewhere tour I'm sure she'll go on tour it's been a long time

and she's done a lot in between but none of it has been a solo album and I've been like come on like let's go let's go

so I'm very very excited give me like your top five Beyonce songs oh god partition oh my god yes I care six inch Beyonce songs? Partition. Oh my god, yes.

I Care. Six Inch. This is hard. This is too difficult of a question. Those are three really, really good ones. I feel like Countdown. Countdown's good. You didn't like it.

No, I do. It's just like a lot of the singles, I'm like, these are great. But it's like the album four is really underrated. No one really listens to it, but it's a fantastic piece of work. I just, I really, I really, I really love Beyonce. I think that's the message here. You have not seen. You're glowing.

Yeah. So no, I'm very excited. But like speaking of girls and gays, like I have not witnessed more like joy from a crowd than when it's Love on Top is played. It's like, baby, it's you. People, everyone knows this song. It's a sing-along. Yeah.

She, she, it's also like I'm excited for some Gen Zers to get some new Beyonce in their life. I feel like they don't really have a relationship with her. When I think of kind of Gen Z music, I always think of Doja Cat first. And like Lizzo. Yeah, just people who are like present in the, you know, the public eye right now. And Beyonce is very good at going away for a very long time and then just really coming in strong. Oh my God.

It's like the Princess Diaries quote, a queen is never late, everyone else is just earlier. That's what I'm always saying. Elton John, legendary music performer, but it wasn't always legendary for dear Sir Elton John. How can I hear more about this tumultuous life? Well, I'm glad you asked, Allie. Even the rich is now focusing their attention on the wonderful, the legendary Sir Elton John.

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Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. Or listen ad-free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app. Speaking of Princess Diaries, Julie Andrews said that she wouldn't do like a third Princess Diaries movie. She said it's too far removed. We're really getting out of the way from my expertise here. Oh, no.

I was wondering, are there... This is your fault. You had me on. You're outnumbered. Is there a movie that maybe either has one or two that you think deserves a sequel or a third?

That's hard because I feel like nowadays... They're awful afterwards. Yeah. I mean, Top Gun crushed it with Top Gun 2. I would do a Charlie's Angels reboot with Cameron Diaz, Lucy Liu, and Drew Barrymore.

Amazing. Because it was just full throttle, and then they did another one recently. No, I would do that one. Mine is the girl with the dragon tattoo with... Rooney Mara. Yeah, that was an amazing movie, and there's other stories which they've been done.

There's like a European version. They just didn't make it with Daniel Craig and Rooney Mara. Yeah. And they were going to, but they just scrapped it. Like the girl in the spider's nest, the girl who played with fire. And I really love the girl with the dragon tattoo. And I love Daniel Craig. That's a good one.

I was always waiting for that one to come out and they just didn't. Rooney, if you're listening. Please. We want a sequel. That's a great movie. Yeah.

I feel like She's the Man holds a special place. Is that Amanda Bynes one? Yes. And she could have a redemption arc. And it's a 12th night. It's like a play on 12th night

and so I feel like you could pick a different Shakespeare play. Like Midsummer Night's Dream. Get funky with it. Channing Tatum at his absolute hottest. Oh, yeah. He peaked for me.

Magic Mike my ass. She's the man Channing Tatum. Yeah. He's pretty hot though. He was very hot. I paused a lot just to like play, rewind, pause, you know. All right. So let's talk about Airbnb because Airbnb has been sparked a lot of discourse on Twitter

after someone shared a post saying, in the interest of my own personal safety as well as public safety at Airbnb, at Airbnb help, can you please explain this to me and everyone else why the host who sent me this message is still actively on your platform? This person is clearly a threat and should not be allowed to host guests. And attach a screenshot of a message that said, I have your picture, your name, and your number. You have 48 hours to remove your review or I'm hiring a private investigator to obtain your address. And then the fun begins. And then a follow-up text, you're blocked from messaging me at this number.

and then a follow-up text you're blocked from messaging me at this number and then this has sparked a lot of people sharing negative a whole range of like obviously this is a terrifying real threat to safety experience other people are sharing that but also people are just kind of sharing like the weird bad things that have happened at Airbnb I'm curious do we have Airbnb users in the house yeah definitely and I've seen a lot of the responses and stuff and a lot of people putting up pictures of all the cameras that people hide in their homes to watch people while they're in them. Which, you know, I think

it's difficult for Airbnb because they probably have thousands and thousands and thousands, but they have to have a better customer support team. Yeah, it's tough. I feel like a lot of people who want to Airbnb their house, it probably started with people trying to make an extra buck. It's like, oh, we're going out of town, so we'll Airbnb our house.

But they do that with a sense of fear of letting strangers in the house. So what do they do? They buy all these cheap cameras, which is a weird invasion. I feel like if you're going to do that, don't have people in your home. Don't have Airbnb. And also, if you're terrified that your home is going to get ruined, don't host. I understand. I mean, it would suck.

That would be awful. But if you're going to cross those lines, maybe just kind of sit out on this one. But Airbnb, if Airbnb kind of put out a statement being like, hey, like us, if we were Airbnb and be like, hey, guys, listen, if you can't have a we were airbnb and be like hey guys like listen if you can't like have a couple strangers in your house like don't do it how much inventory would they lose probably a lot yeah because like yeah there's plenty of people who are like will buy houses just to airbnb it but i bet a great deal of their inventory are people who are incrementally or occasionally renting it out. And they can't have a vetting process for who is staying and who's not.

I know some people who have been permanently banned from Airbnb for even small issues, so I guess they're good on that. Banned from going or banned from hosting? Going. I'm sure there are people banned from hosting. I can imagine. But I think they also have to flip that on the hosts and what kind of look into if people are complaining. I mean, the camera thing.

If I knew that I was staying at an Airbnb and was being recorded, I'd raise hell. Yeah, terrifyingly creepy. I also feel like back when I stayed there in 2015 or something, I remember the host reviewing you and it felt like it was more of an attempt to have that mutual vetting. And now it seems like- Now it's just like you click it. Yeah.

And now it feels like an Uber situation where it's like four stars or five stars or bust because that's what some people are saying uh in defense of airbnb hosts who are kind of pressuring people to leave positive reviews is they're saying apparently you get kicked off the platform if it's below 4.5 stars so it's kind of like a two-sided see that that's stupid of airbnb to do that it's so arbitrary 4.5 or bust you know's got to be a more productive way of ensuring a good stay. Have you stayed at any really amazing Airbnbs ever?

Amazing? Nice. Mine have all been pleasant. On the regular, they work. It is interesting when you go to an Airbnb. It's a house that was just made to be an Airbnb. The shower is awful. You open the fridge, the handle falls off. But no, I've had some really pleasant experiences.

I once went to an Airbnb and I walked in and someone else was in it. They double booked. I was like, well. What happened? We're married. Now, luckily it was a company that had other places and they gave us another one and gave us some money back. But it was weird because I had the key. I they gave us another one and gave us some money back. But it was weird because I had the key.

I opened the door, and there was a couple standing there. Like, hi, here to kill you. They probably thought that. Oh, yeah, they were like, what are you doing here? I was like, no, what are you doing here? Yeah, it's fun. Then I had to leave. Yeah, I don't know.

I mean, I feel like review online review situation is like a a hot mess because it's like all these things they're well-intentioned you know like you hear this horror story that needs to be talked about you need that discourse and then eventually you're going to get the person who like you know does a tiktok about like i had an airbnb and let me tell you it was terrible like there was one roll of toilet paper and the entire house and i couldn't like it like they'll like it was 700 000 likes yeah and they'll like root like lose their mind over like a mild inconvenience you know two stars the same how it was on like any platform with reviews like yelp or anything people you'll just

see people post an essay i'm'm like, stop giving people this much room to write about the crudité. It's fascinating though. Sometimes I follow individual reviewers and see what else they've commented on. I construct a narrative. Oh no, there are people. If you find someone who leaves a really

long review of one star, very specific things, you can go to their profile and a lot of the time, it's 700 reviews they go to every restaurant on rip on it which is good for the platform to then be like okay i don't know this person but some people write novels like you're an incredible writer where do you find the time i know yeah this is an outlet for you this is well i'm like where you find the time? And then I'm reading them for like 10 hours. I guess. Will I be probably continuing to stay in Airbnbs?

Definitely. I plan on hosting. Oh, you're going to become an Airbnb? Yeah. He's going to become Airbnb. He is an Airbnb. He's all over the place. Yeah, if anything, he's learning exactly what he needs to do for his new property.

He's like sending screenshots of that. Yeah. And they'll make a new movie with no one who knows that they're in. Yeah. Oh, my God. Terrifying. Found footage. Yeah.

Wait, that would be a really good horror movie. Okay, guys. Don't give away this idea to the public. Write it down. Write it down. Put it in an envelope. Write it down. Yeah.

Okay. the public write it down write it down okay for another topic do we want to talk about daughters on only fans or never having an orgasm why can't why can't they be the same thing daughters on only fans for 400 please this actor who starred in two and a half men has a quote where so sammy daughter of charlie Sheen, Denise Richards' daughter, is on OnlyFans. Charlie Sheen. Is this on the cusp of her, like, she had just turned 18, right? Like, isn't that part of the story too? Yeah, she's like. Freshly 18.

Yeah, and definitely like his response to it was very much when he said, I do not condone this, but since I'm, I'm unable to prevent it, I are sure to keep it classy, creative and not sacrifice her integrity. Like kind of like a, I'm just relinquishing reigns as a parent who was able to like assert control. And so he, and Denise came out more in support kind of, um,

I don't get what the big deal is. I support my daughter. She also said, like basically I, I'm not allowed to control what she does and if that's what she does she wants to do yeah and then she referenced like obviously her time posing for playboy or doing in the movie

wild things where there's a like a nude sex scene I don't know like it's got from a parent standpoint what do you like it's like yeah you can't do anything and then you have these progressive parents i assume they're progressive and then you have specifically charlie sheen he has a complicated history of his problematic past yes how do you well it's a little

hypocritical i think we can say well that's that question like So if you're a parent, you certainly have made mistakes. Do you lose the right to become a parent because of your mistakes? I mean, you could argue that as a parent, you're like, all I ever want for my kid is to not do the things I've done. So it's like, sure, I guess hypocritical, but at the same time, I feel like Charlie, his quote was, I guess, as well as you could have said, which is like,

I wouldn't want this for my daughter, but I guess... Yeah, he's completely out of control. He doesn't, I mean, and also if he were to try to make it, I don't know, I don't know the Sheen family but i i think you know she's allowed to do what she wants it's it's her it's her life it's her wallet it's her body but um obviously we've all done things at 18 that

we regret oh absolutely and as a proud father of four um i yeah i could understand why that would be you know distressing and uncomfortable but at the end of the day i guess it's kind of like yeah you're it's your life so well it's also i heard the term digital natives which refers to people who when they were born the internet was a thing and grew up using social media and just have always kind of understood the landscape and i think it's especially hard as a parent when this wasn't even an option before and you have the way Denise Richards where she's like you know this is kind of like a modern iteration of all these other behavior that has existed versus I think Charlie Sheen I'm sure there's a

certain amount of like kind of fear of the partially known do we even know that she plans on doing any type of pornographic content? I don't know. Because not everyone on OnlyFans is. Maybe it's just her. It could be a variety of things. She's also, I mean, for her now, she's in the public eye. This is going viral. I imagine her subscriber count is skyrocketing because of it. She could easily post maybe the most seductive thing could be bikini right like and

that's it and she'd still probably make a ton of money people will pay for that if you were gonna have a non-sexual only fans account what would you do on it i'd review condiments i love condiments i'm a condiment queen yeah so maybe just like condiment it Ketchup. I know it's basic. Very basic, but I don't shy away from any type of condiment. I've had a theory that when growing up, there was always one ketchup kid in your group that had ketchup on everything. I was a ketchup boy. I think that says a lot about people.

Oh, absolutely. Did your mom cut your crust? My crust? Sometimes. She had to spoon feed me yogurt because I couldn't keep it down. Like I was that kid. And I also always had a ketchup stain in the middle of my shirt because I would take too much ketchup and it would always drop on there.

They're like a specific, like the ketchup kids are a specific type of kid. My brother was one. Still is. I, I, maybe even worse. You were not a ketchup kid. You were a mustard kid. I was a mustard kid. It says a lot about me. I love mustard now, but the idea of mustard

as a kid was so disgusting to me. But I also think maybe that means that you were mature. I tell myself it means I have a refined palate. Whereas ketchup, it was like near bottom of the barrel. Slop.

Red slop. Well, with mustard, are you a Dijon or just like kind of classic yellow? Yellow. I'm a Dijon. See, again, now because of my OnlyFans, I don't shy away from any type of mustard. I'll try any mustard. You got Dijon, you got honey mustard any of that but I do agree with you like I was the

ketchup kid with like pit stains and cargo shorts and you know everyone laughed at what I said not because of what I was saying but because of how I looked you know so and I wear that as a badge of honor I can't wait to have ketchup

later today. Ketchup kids are an army, though. There's a lot of ketchup kids. Rise up, ketchup kids. Yeah, if you are out there and you are a ketchup kid. Like, you could not leave home without ketchup. I had a bottle of ketchup in my locker in high school. You're a ketchup kid.

And we had ketchup in the cafeteria, but I still was like, you know, you just never know when you're going to need a bottle of ketchup. I feel like that's kind of like addict behavior, like hiding your bottle of vodka. 20% of my audience are probably like, I was the ketchup thing. Yeah. I had the shirt that said,

I put ketchup on my ketchup. How do we feel about relish? Love. Love. Love and only dill. I'm down. I'm down for it. And that's another thing.

As a kid, I was so picky. So the ketchup fixed everything. Usually the ketchup kits are picky eaters. Because it's like you got your chicken nuggets, you got your fries, your pizza, your pasta, and your peanut butter and jellies, and your ketchup. We are profiling ketchup kits. I feel good about this. I feel like I haven't been able to really talk about this.

My therapist just doesn't understand it, but you do. I do. Well, when you were mentioning – My brother Luke is a ketchup kid. I'm sure I'd love him. He's now a dentist. Oh. Oh.

A win for the ketchup kids. I was going to ask, when you mentioned kids laughing more at you than with you, was there a time where that definitively shifted in your social life or where you kind of just found a better fit in terms of your group yeah no I mean I feel like it was just because I was it was like class clown always like falling over for laughs that kind of thing and then I was like I'm gonna I'm gonna shift this personality a bit and um take care of myself a bit more. But no. It wasn't like a bullying

situation, but the ketchup kid, everyone was like, oh, there he goes. There's the funny guy. And then there's the mustard guy who was like head of the soccer team. Ran track in college. Yeah, exactly. The mustard, I have thisd moment where i was like in

first or second grade and i got mustard all over my sweatshirt and my dad was really mad at me and he really shamed me and he's like you're gonna wear that the whole the whole party and i just had a big yellow mustard stain i have a great father but like that might not have been his best parenting. Oh, yeah. That's hardcore. Oh, my parents, yeah, my parents always, because I would always get the ketchup stain,

and they'd be like, yeah, you're wearing that the rest of the day. Actions have consequences. They do. And some of them are visible. And they were delicious. I got to say, though, I think that was probably a fairly toxic parenting trait

that was pretty popular. Just sit in your shame. Just sit in your shame. Where it's just like a six-year-old dripped ketchup or mustard on their shirt. Maybe we just let them change. Yeah, you would never make a kid sit in there like if they had an accident. You would never. I guess that's different.

And that's really sad to even think about. So I'm sorry for saying it. But isn't it much different? No, but I do remember. I remember this moment. Yeah, and I do remember too with my dad. If he would then spill something on himself, I was like, gotcha.

And I was like, you're wearing that the rest of the day. You are not allowed to change. I'm sure he responded well. Yeah, it was great. Speaking of dads, it was great speaking of dads it was Father's Day happy Father's Day first of all

did people have any nice plans any specific way you tend to celebrate I like to text all my friends who are fathers happy Father's Day that's always a nice thing to do

aww yeah it's a thing I do and a lot of people think people who haven't heard from me in a while Father's Day is like the 20th most popular holiday yeah after Flag Day after Flag Day it's like Arbor Day yeah

yeah which is you know yeah I love to send the text I spent the whole day with my dad it was lovely I had to call my dad I texted a lot of I also texted a lot of people who aren't dads happy Father's Day daddy you know just to see to get a rise out of people I did give my dad an early retirement though

so I felt like that's good that's your father's day gift forever yeah also grandfathers calling the grandfathers I called my grandfather he's like 92

I called my grandpa my grandfather's are dead yeah i was gonna say the other one is dead so i just was like hey thinking of you thinking of you it's always dark though like now with social media it was this was mother's day too yeah it's like you get the tiktoks of all like the people who don't appreciate father's day or the it's like but yeah there's the conversation of like sending love to people who don't have Father's Day. Yeah, there's the conversation of sending love to people who don't have a relationship with their father or whatever. But then there's some, oh my God.

Yeah, you're just scrolling through TikTok. You're laughing your ass off. And then you see this horrible one. I'm in tears and just I could throw my phone away. It's like, okay. Yeah. Sorry. Sorry.

Sorry. I love my dad. I feel like I heard about some kind of meetup that was organized. I think it was on Mother's Day, whether it was because you don't have a relationship with your mom or because you lost your mom or didn't have a mom to start with. Like having some kind of like group chance because I think it's so isolating on like a family holiday, not having the place to go. Yeah, can be tough.

It's a doozy. I was going to ask, what quality of your dad do you think you have most prominently oh god so many emotional you're gonna be okay yeah when i get emotional i i my dad would always like touch the back of his neck and i i've i do that too that's cute i feel like as i've gotten older you know those like commercials like growing, like your parents commercials are really funny. I, as I get older, like there are just like moments where like, I'll do this, like, like I'll like turn my head or say it a certain way where I'll get this like, kind of like deja vu feeling of like I'm my dad you know I don't I feel like as I get older I'm becoming more and more I noticed certain like idiosyncrasies that my my dad has yeah my that's I'm becoming my father and I feel like the things that piss me

off about my dad are the things that I do too like I'd say that probably one of the main qualities my dad will talk to a wall. He can talk to anyone. He speaks to every single waiter or every single wants to know their whole situation blah blah blah. So we'll be at a meal.

He'll talk to the waiter for like 45 minutes not you know being nice but we're like let him get back to his job and I'm like dude stop and then you know

the next night my friends are like Nick stop talking to the waiter. Like I'm doing the same exact thing that he does. Yeah. It's really in our dna for sure totally he's a good man he's a good man shout out to dad um actually our office hours caller is here

we don't want to talk about female orgasms first nick is begging to talk well you did bring in me it was a good story man the expert in female orgasms. I think maybe a neutral third party to really weigh in. And all I want for women is for them to orgasm. Cheryl Burke is here to remind us that a lot of women do not climax during sex. And that's okay. It is okay. But I want that for her. I want that for all my friends.

And I think it depends on why, though. Because I think there's a why of like, she spoke about how her vulnerability and past trauma plays a really big role in that. And so I think there's one perspective where it's like, please don't put this pressure on me. Please trust that I'm having a good time. I don't need to legitimize it in this way.

I think conversely, it's like, I'm like, you better try. Yeah. Well, that's the thing. I feel like what would, well, what's the best way a woman could communicate to her male partner that it's a challenge for her while still expecting him to try. Right. Because to your point, there's a difference between like oh listen i can't like orgasm during penetration and it's not like a green light for a guy to be like okay well i guess i'll just do my thing and be done versus also while not you know like as cheryl burke mentioned not making it seem like like always checking in like what does that mean you don't enjoy it because i think

a lot of men could also like allow themselves to be emasculated by that be like oh well am i doing something wrong like what the fuck like i'll do it like i can make you come like yeah like i've met every girl forever yeah no girl has ever had a problem with me before you know it's like they were fake yeah exactly reenact that orgasm tell me how it sounded so i think it's similar to like ed like erectile dysfunction in that way of like how it can be very easy sometimes for whoever a partner is to personalize it or take that i mean i feel like you tell me if this would be helpful but like saying to your partner i'm just here to try whatever it is you want to try. I'm open to trying new things.

If that doesn't work for you, what do you like? You know, just keep opening that space of enough. That's lovely, but I don't feel like people say that. No? No. I've said that. Maybe in a relationship. Yeah, but you're a good guy.

There's a lot of bad guys out there. in a relationship. Yeah, but you're a good guy. There's a lot of bad guys out there. I feel like the nice thing to do here would be to be like, yeah, I'm not having an orgasm from this. I would love to try different things. Let's try a toy. Let's try before or like this time.

What do you like? This night's about you. It'd be nice for the man to listen to what they want to do and then try those things out because it shouldn't just be about the guy coming and being like, cool, good work. Yeah, and I think something that's interesting

is they've done a lot of data on the rates of women coming during sex with men versus sex with women or non-binary people. And it's drastically different. The orgasm gap only exists specifically in this hetero situation which i think is kind of fascinating and i'm sure it's because like it's more normalized to have like toys or accessories or just more open communication i think well yeah it's probably

well one like you said i think some of the uh some of it might be coming from trauma from men that why women might not female experience that there's that uh and then two yeah like i think there's a lot of guys out there who either feel emasculated or defensive and then like make a bad not even a bad situation like a situation where a woman can't orgasm through penetration even worse by making it about their feelings uh and their inability to like making it about their feelings and their inability to like making it about them and understanding it's a bigger picture and, and, and some education around that where I think women,

partners of women might be a little bit more empathetic to that. I feel like it's in general, if you're a man listening to this, listen to your lady, listen to her, listen to her. And it'll be more fun for you too. In the end,

if she's enjoying herself, toys are great. I mean, I've never been with a woman, but I imagine that that's the proper way to do it. Right. Yeah, there are so many options. There's toys. Thank you, Sheryl Burke. Yeah.

Thank you for starting this conversation. And also, women should not feel broken or weird or isolated, and they should watch Principles of Pleasure on Netflix. Or read Come As You Are. All right. Okay. And right. Okay. And Office Hours. Office Hours.

How's it going? Hi. I'm good. How are you? Good. What's your name? I'm Danielle, and I'm 31 years old. How can we help Danielle?

So I need help either drafting a text or maybe not drafting a text at all. Basically, I'll start from the beginning. What's your goal? If we draft a text, what would the goal of the text be? The goal of the text would be just to establish how to go forward basically in a friendship. Friendship. Okay. Yeah. Well, yeah. My best friend from school married another guy that we went to school with and he's from the Midwest and his best friend from the Midwest, his name is Matt moved out here about like five years ago.

And we've been good friends, you know, for the past five years or so. And then, um, about a year ago at there, they bought a house. And so we had a housewarming. Everyone had a lot to drink. And Matt and I made a marriage pact. And that was kind of like the first time I saw him as being like maybe something more than friends. We like discussed the fact that we both like didn't want kids. And it was like, oh, like I think we're on the same page with like what we want for our life. And, you know, the years before, one of us had always been in a relationship.

we want for our life. And the years before, one of us had always been in a relationship. Some months passed and we really are the only two people that we know, I feel like, in our area who are both single. So we would always started doing this weekly dinner thing where we would just talk about our awful dating stories and things like that. And it was his idea. He initiated this. But with time, it was basically like we He initiated this, but like with time, you know, it was basically like we were dating because every week we would just go out to drinks and talk about life and things like that and just got to know each other better and better. And I like developed feelings for him. And our friend who had our mutual friend who had introduced us, like always talked about the fact that like Matt had a crush on me

and things like that. So it was just kind of in my head as being a possibility. So two Sundays ago, so just over two weeks ago, I finally told him that I had feelings for him via text message and he reciprocated. And then we met up 36 hours later or so, two days later for drinks. And I showed up and he immediately was like, I don't think we should date. So feeling a little confused and I kind of don't know how to go forward. He's texted me a few times since then. But I've never initiated a conversation. So just trying to figure out if I should text him, if I, cause I miss him and just want to know how to go forward. So what was the interaction like when you got together?

Other than it was, he was like shaking. He was so nervous. And I felt like I was like consoling him the entire time. Cause he just, he was like, I was walking over here and I felt like I was gonna throw up I was so nervous blah blah blah he started it off by saying like you're fantastic and you're my favorite person but and then I just kind of like blacked out for a second because I thought I was showing up to our first date like based on the text that you know he had been sending me the night before or like a day and a day and a half this first text i'm working looking at is that the one you sent him when you shot your shot yeah speaking of direct i've had a little crush on you for months but was too chicken to say anything also didn't want to interfere with things with because you were excited about it but yeah i don't want to make

things weird but just wanted to put that out there with a little upside down smiley who's uh who's oh he had been going on a couple dates with this other girl and he seemed excited about it. Um, so I didn't want it to be like him choosing me over another girl. I waited until he decided he wasn't interested in her anymore. Then he replied back, you've proved to be way more

direct than me! You have to know I felt the same way, right? I often think about what it would be like with you, but was always too chicken to put that out there. I get so weird about screwing up a good thing. Interesting response. Yeah. And then eventually you guys screwing up a good friendship, that is.

Also, thanks for saying something. I was wondering if either of us were ever going to. And then you got together like a couple days later and he hit you with the just kidding yeah there's more text in there but it's basically the same thing where he's like oh like my head's spinning had you guys ever hooked up before or been together before no we've never even kissed and we've like gotten very tipsy around each other like how did things end the last time you guys got together? The last time we got together was when he told me he didn't want to try things.

So I drove him home afterwards. And we were parked in front of his house. And he said, we're still going to be best friends, right? And I started getting teary. And I was like, yeah, of course. And he was like, do you want to talk about it more? And I was just like, no. And kind of ushered him out of my car.

So what do you think of the situation now? How are you feeling about it? I miss him a lot. We talk most days. Him saying that he felt this way, and then him wondering if either of you were going to ask, that he felt this way. And then him wondering if either of you were going to ask is not a guy who is caught off guard.

You know, I've had like platonic women friends that I just, I wanted them to be platonic. I went out of my way to make sure they thought it was platonic. And I dreaded them ever like trying to to shoot their shot type of thing. And that's not what I'm seeing from this guy. Well, it's very flip-floppy from his – he's saying he's absolutely down and into you too

and then coming to you and saying – That's why I'm so confused. So I don't know if I should just go back to being to like being friends with him and like give it a couple months and bring it up again. Listen, I, I'm a, just a big believer that it's like,

you can try to be friends with each other, but like, you're never going to like, it's never going to, you're never going to go back. And I always kind of like say, you know, like if you guys don't start dating each other and he starts dating or someone else and you meet a guy and you guys are friends, it's going to come up like, what is this dynamic?

You know, well, did you guys ever date? No, I like shot my shot and like he didn't. And like the person you meet or he meets is going to ask more questions. the person you meet or he meets is going to ask more questions. And also, you know, like you said, like part of you missing him is that comfort he brought. And while you weren't kissing and hooking up, he was feeling very much the type of like comfort a boyfriend would, right? Yeah. The regular dinners, the intimate conversations, just the regularity and comfort.

And when you meet a guy, if you meet a guy and it's not him, and you will meet a guy eventually if you don't date him, like this friendship will already like fade away, you know? Yeah. That's what I was thinking. And that's why like he doesn't want to date to like preserve this friendship and in my mind it's like well someday it's not going to exist right like it has to evolve at some point did he get into specifics about why other than he doesn't think it's a good idea the i i don't want to ruin the friendship is definitely not a valid excuse

even if they believe it it's bullshit for the reasons i just explained because it's going to end it's already once someone shoots their shot it forever changes that relationship hard to go back i think scared like he cited being scared of ruining the friendship, but also, so my best friend is married to his best friend. So like if something didn't work out between us, you know, like we've done trips together, like we've gone on vacations together and things like that. I think he's just scared of messing up that element too. I kind of think some tough love is required. You just should just be honest with how you feel about the situation. I don't think you should try to

go back to this friendship and pretend you didn't shoot your shot. And in the nicest possible way without emasculating him, as you kind of tell him to man up and just,

if he doesn't want to date you, he doesn't want to date you. That's fine. If that's the response, I would move on on right if if you're too scared like that's bullshit like yeah we were never going to be able to preserve this dynamic forever so like just get that out of your head you know yeah we just weren't like we've built this relationship whatever this is this very unique relationship of us like comforting each other and going out to dinner and being this emotion we've built you've built an emotional connection with this man which is a big part of relationships that people often don't build early on dating they

build that physical connection and you guys have built that like there's a level of emotional intimacy that you guys have and trust and like you can like turn to each other and like open up to each other that's hard to find anyone to do that and you'd be able to do that like my ex-girlfriend and i like we were best friends with my my butt like they became best friends because we were dating and then we both stood up in their wedding as like people who were broken up with like you're adults you'll figure it out like you might not be going on trips together anymore but like that was going to eventually like if you got a boyfriend and he got a girlfriend there's a good chance his new girlfriend's going on this trip and not you so like that's it's

already affected so trying to preserve something that's already not going to last is just silly so i and that's why i think you should just i think you should stand your ground and to say as far as our friendship goes it will always mean something to me obviously i've really enjoyed our time i think you almost in a way like break up with him i think you yeah it requires the tough love yeah and you just say but like i feel how i feel i care about you it's worth the risk almost and it's worth to me it's worth the risk because it's already never going to be the same if you don't want to give this a shot i respect that but you're just going to have to deal and with the fact that like we're no longer gonna be like're no longer going to go back to where we're at. And I'm not trying to force you into something you don't want to be in.

Yeah. But you basically take away the thing he's afraid of ruining. Should I do this via text or should I just initiate another get-together? I don't think you should do it via text. No. Yeah. Depends on your comfort level but a face time at a minimum

and also by at least seeing him and hearing his voice you'll actually get to get his genuine reaction other than something that's crafted because I think what you need right now especially if you are going to continue anyway with him is honesty and a lot of that is

what he's saying to you in the moment and the way that he's kind of I mean you getting to like see what has he been trying to reach out to you to hang out not to hang out but like but yes he's texted me a few times about like shows he told me to watch and sent me stuff on Instagram okay I think you just stop replying to like that yeah that's what I would do first. At first, I would do nothing for a while. Don't tell him that you missed the friendship. Let him believe that you are adjusting just fine.

You're doing your thing. And then eventually he will ask you, what's up? And when he does, then you can just say, then you just call him or facetime him or get together and then just say like it's just like it's just i don't want to do that anymore like when you say you're confused tell him you're confused and tell him why you're confused and just say like like i just said you have nothing to lose at this point and you have to reinforce and remind him that he doesn't have anything to lose either and be like hey no matter what we'll always be cool and respectful

like we're like we may not hang out as much anymore and things might be different but it's just how it is and like of course you're going to be friends with our friends and i will be friends with them too but like we might not and if we get invited to like a party we'll go and be cool like if you guys both start dating other people you won't like not be able to hang out right but you won't be taking trips together and you won't be having like dinners together on a regular basis and just see if he actually really is scared and there it is possible i mean what i'm saying is it's it's possible he he needs to get out of his own way

and his own bullshit. And that only happens when he is afraid of losing something. And then when he actually sees that he might have lost it is usually when they start coming around. Any variable could. He could. It's possible with what he said. But I agree.

Take your time. Do you. Wait for him to come to you. That's what I would do with this guy. I was scared that was what you were going to say. Why? It's been almost two weeks now. Almost two weeks now since what? Since the conversation.

Okay. And he's reached out four or five times since then. But like, I kind of do want to see him again, but I'll be patient. Well, I mean, if you,

if you think enough time has passed where I just think it'd be good for him to bring it up. Yeah, I think so too. But there's nothing wrong if you just want to say that and see him. But what you can't do is try to do the thing he thinks you guys can and should do. Yeah. Which is to basically use each other, not commit to one another.

It's ridiculous. Yeah, the momentary highs and for that for you are not going to be worth uh the way that you feel when you kind of step away and you're upset about it and you're not together yeah yeah well that's a good reminder i think you should also do a little bit of like tell them exactly why you think you guys are a good couple okay yeah i think you should do more telling than than convincing yeah that's the thing i don't want to talk him into wanting to be with me yeah you just tell him how you feel about you two yeah and and and don't talk about his feelings just talk about your feelings okay

i feel this about you yeah this is why i think we should give this a shot this is why i don't think we're actually risking anything and this is why uh i won't be able to do what we did okay anymore i like that yeah all right okay well thank you both so much. All right. Best of luck. Thank you. Bye. I think there's a shot. Yeah. Oh, I think there's a shot too. Absolutely. Because I also think, I mean, from these text messages, it would be insane to basically say I feel the exact same way about you.

I was wondering if one of us would bring this up. Yeah. It's not, by the way, because I've seen the other side of this where the guy's like, oh, like, I don't really know this or that. But this is... Yeah, this wasn't the, listen, I think you're great and all, but let's just stay friends. I think you're really cool.

And I don't want to ruin a good thing. That was not what this is. That's not what this is. And then he kept bringing it back up. He kept being like, oh, I'm so glad you said this, blah, blah, blah. Maybe he freaked out. Nick, you have a new show coming out. I do.

I wrote for a TV show that comes out on Friday on Apple TV. It's called Loot, L-O-O-T. Oh, my God. I see billboards for that all the time and get so excited with Maya Rudolph. Maya Rudolph. It's going to be great. It's Maya Rudolph, MJ Rodriguez, Joel Kim Booster, Nat Faxon, Ron Funches. I'm very, very, very excited about it.

The first three episodes drop Friday, and it's weekly every Friday. And it's loosely based off of... No, we can't talk about that. There's coincidental similarities. Yeah, there are some similarities. There's some parallels to people in the world. But no, it's a great show. It's a workplace comedy.

It's an incredible, awesome group of people. Maya Rudolph obviously kills it. She's so talented. It's created by Matt Hubbard and Alan Yang, and they're just creme de la creme of the comedy world. I'm very, very excited about it. Well, congrats. Thank you.

Thank you. I saw a couple episodes. It's stunning. It sounds great. They're so funny. Maya kills it, obviously. And it comes out on Friday. Friday.

Apple TV. Yep. Check it out. Check it out on Friday Friday Apple TV yep check it out check it out yeah tell your parents tell your neighbors tell your kids what else can people find you

you can find me on Instagram at Nick Lehman and then on Twitter and TikTok Nick Stop Talking but I keep talking

I keep talking I just keep going well thanks for listening guys don't forget to send in your questions at asknick at castmedia.com. Cast with a K. We are back tomorrow with a very funny and very delightful Hannah Berner for our Going Deep episode. We talk about so much, I can't even possibly recap it.

You just don't want to miss it that much, I promise you. Oh, my God. It's dynamic. Dynamic. There's banter. It's exciting. It's god it's dynamic dynamic there's banter it's exciting it's wonderful electrifying love banter love it so the people

who listen to podcasts yes yes I hope banter hopefully is the number one reason that you're here nothing else thanks for listening bye Thanks for listening. Bye.