The Viall Files - E441 Going Deeper with Audrina Patridge - Plus Hot Chiropractor Update

Episode Date: June 29, 2022

Welcome back to The Viall Files, Going Deeper edition! Today we are joined by actress, author, model, and The Hill’s Star, Audrina Patridge! On this episode we dive into some deep talks and pop culture news, such as Denise Richards joining OnlyFans to show support for her daughter, Justin Timberlake getting roasted on TikTok for his subpar dance moves, the most awkward moment at the VMAs, and the next generation of reality television. After we dive deep with Audrina and talk about her not being invited back for the reboot of The Hills, a photographer friend leaking her topless photos, trying to coparent after a very public divorce, and producers blocking in her car until she did a scene when filming The Hills. We also talk about the worst doctor to get hit on by, how to avoid peer pressure in Los Angeles, and dating as a single mother. We then welcome on our Texting Office Hours caller who wonders how to rekindle a friendship that waned after she got uninvited from being a bride’s maid for her best friend. Now she wonders after digging deeper if her husband may be the reason her friend no longer wants to associate with her. We also got a spicy update from our caller yesterday that was crushing on her steamy chiropractor.  “I’ve been through enough drama, I’m ready for peace.” Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to [e-mail] to be a part of our Monday episodes.  If you would like to get some advice on Office Hours send an email to [e-mail] with “Office Hours” in the subject line!  Be sure to check out my sports radio show Fandemonium, Wednesdays @ 3PT / 6 ET  on Amazon's Amp app.  Click the link to download Amp using my code NICKVIALL https://apps.apple.com/us/app/amp-host-live-radio-shows/id1586403838 Pre-Order Nick’s Book: https://www.abramsbooks.com/product/dont-text-your-ex-happy-birthday_9781419755491/ Check out our new "Introvert" merch at http://www.viallfiles.com today! THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: Wondery: Follow QUEEN OF HEARTS wherever you get your podcasts. Or you can listen early on Amazon Music and ad-free by subscribing to Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts or the Wondery app. Episode Socials:  @viallfiles @nickviall @audrinapatridge See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What's going on everybody welcome back to a new and exciting episode of the Vile Files Going Deeper edition and boy do we have an episode for you the one and the only Adrena Patrick is with us today from the hills. You might have heard of her. Wonderful person.

Lovely. What a delight. Really grounded. Has a really calming like wise energy. Got some hills tea. Oh boy did we. Yeah we did.

Some producer antics. We dug in. The Bachelor. I mean for all the shit the Bachelor producers get, they have not done that. Right. That's true. Right. What are we talking about?

Well. Listen up. Listen up. What's new? What's going on? I had a really, just like a very cute date day with my boyfriend this weekend. We went to a museum. And then we went to a dog birthday party for his roommate's dog it was the most wholesome experience i could not even believe it there was

a cake made for the dog that was like dog friendly it had like this special like peanut butter icing and whatnot there were people and dogs there so it was was like dog friends. And it just made me think there was something really heartening about seeing everyone just interact with dogs so much. And I was curious, what is your guys' go-to doggy voice? I don't know if I'm prepared to share mine, but Natalie has a very distinctive one.

Why would you share? I just call him buddy a lot. I'm just like, hey, buddy. Bye, buddy. Hope you find your dad. Basically. Are'm just like, hey buddy. Bye buddy. Hope you find your dad. Basically. Are you super like, a little bit. Yeah.

I always want to be like, are you having a good life so far? Yeah. He could be doing a lot worse. Let me tell you. I'm just like, I kidnapped him

from his family. That's most dogs' tales. I just want to make sure his quality of life is pretty good. So I just always want to check in. Yeah. Yeah. I think dogs can tell. I'm a big believer in talking to dogs sometimes in the way you would talk to humans. Like sometimes I think you got to do the enthusiasm voice thing, but I think other times just be like, hey, it is great to start the morning just seeing your smiling face. How doing like i think they can really tell natalie was home visiting her her father this weekend and so i was home

alone and it's nice to just so what are we having for dinner i mean me but i like yeah someone to talk to someone to talk to especially like i live by myself and it's people are always like oh that's like so lonely and i'm like but it's not really by myself. But I'm always like, I do this. I always ask Kiki, like every time she does something, I'm like, that is so funny, my baby. Everyone's like, that is so funny, my baby. I'm like, you're so funny. Like, that's how I talk to her. Or I imitate what I think her voice would be, which is like, oh, hi, my name is Keks. And it's kind of like nasally.

She's like, hi, Bob. Hi, Keks. I imagine Kiki is like a it's kind of like nasally. She's like, hi, Bob. Hi, Keex. I imagine Keex is like a smoker, you know? It's like the things they've seen. Yeah. Like Joey from Friends, his agent. That's Keex's voice. She's like, I lived on the streets.

Yeah. Let me tell you something about the FBI. She's like, back in my days in Chicago. Natalie's got a very distinctive Jeff voice. Can you imitate it? No. I call dogs Bubba a lot. No. I call all pets Bubba. So I was thinking about doing a birthday party for Kiki

in the fall because again, it's approximate but I think she's about to turn 10 and so my friend and I were wondering if we should do one of those DNA kits and do it like almost like a gender reveal but like in the middle of the party, open the envelope and see what she is. that'd be fun wow yeah yeah like a 23 and me yeah hopefully they don't find out she's like 17 is that how those kids were she just drops dead at the birthday

party she got three days left that's the most traumatic thing I can ever imagine. I'm glad you have a sense of humor. Oh my God. We're shocked she's still here. We have a texting office update from yesterday. Yes. It was quick.

The hot chiropractor. If you don't know what we're talking about, well, I know you are excited about Adrena. But... yes it was quick the hot chiropractor uh if you don't know what we're talking about well i know you are excited about adrena but uh you do not play yourself by listening to this update before listening or before listening to like the full text composition episode go back go back please and listen listen to the office you'll be doing yourself a favor by listening to a dynamic episode. I think it was a firm ask. Anyway, now that everyone's up to speed, thanks for coming back.

I hope you enjoyed this episode or that episode rather. So she had messaged the chiropractor saying, hey, bad news and good news. Bad news is I think I might need to find another chiro. But the good news is I know this cool new place. I want to take you for drinks. Setting the stage our our caller had the hots for her new car they've already listened I know if my pleas didn't get them yeah all right yeah so she went with my advice not Ali's we went the bad news first and three hours later he said haha sad to hear you're getting a new chiropractor

where is this new place you want to go boom bada bing he knew it was a joke he played along with the joke he's ready to go the shot got shot and it was a bullseye nothing but net yeah three that was a three-pointer right there we we've only had one miss that's true but we knew that was gonna be a miss we didn't know we but we really wanted it to be off the backboard and in unfortunately it did not go her way but pretty good track record my new sports show phantomonium on amazon as a live uh platform called app every wednesday at 6 p.m eastern 3 p.m pacific my co-host lindsey mccormick and i talk sports packers local sports national sports a little mix of pop culture not mostly just sports so all you sports fans uh the

the link in the bio you have to have an iphone right now to use it eventually we'll be dropping them on a podcast feed so you can listen at your convenience but right now they're just live so come interact with us talk some sports it'll be a ton of fun live 6pm eastern don't forget that next week Tuesday Wednesday Thursday

instead of Monday Tuesday Wednesday Ask Nick next Wednesday part 2 of the Bachelorette bio breakdowns of the men from the season. And then a special full mediation episode on Thursday. All mediation couples. Adrena Patrick, everybody.

Wait, that is funny. I've actually had my old dentist did that. Well, he texted me and I was like, Is this my dentist asking me on a date? Yes. Nice teeth. Like as he's looking in my mouth, like you're going to, I don't know. I'm like, you've seen all the wrong angles of me.

It's like what a great place to start it. I guess. Welcome, Adrena. Hi. How are great place to start it. I guess, right? Welcome, Audrina. Hi. How are you? I'm good. How are you guys? We're doing great.

So you had a dentist ask you out once. I did. So he was very good looking, but I did not see him in that way. He's my dentist. And I remember leaving and I got a random text message and it was from him asking me. And I was like like did he go through the obviously he went through the computer system got my number and then I felt so awkward I had a boyfriend at the time and I felt so awkward going back I'm like do I switch dentists like do

I keep going did you keep going no I'm laying there with my mouth open and he's like you know I'm like this is kind of weird so you went went back. I did go back and I did feel uncomfortable a little bit. But then he ended up getting a girlfriend and we were just talking about our significant others. So it kind of like... You having a boyfriend at the time probably helped. Oh, yeah. Because you could just blame it on that. Yeah.

I wonder if he got in trouble because I feel like you're definitely not supposed to go through patient records, find their cell phone number and ask you out. I don't think so. I don't think you got in trouble, though. I didn't make it a big deal or like into something. Yeah. We can now. Well, no one will know who. What type of doctor would you most and least like to be hit on by?

A gynecologist. That's least, right? Oh, least. Yeah. What did you say? A gynecologist. That's least, right? Oh, least. Yeah, what did you say? Most. Most or least. Like, which one would you like and which one would you hate? Gyno hate.

Gyno hate. That's just weird if they're like down there like, oh, do you want to go out sometime? Well, not down there. I don't know. Or calling you. I don't know. Most, what would you guys think?

You seem like anything they say to you. It's like you seem like a really great person. All you could be thinking about is why, you know, what they. Yeah. Like, you've just seen my pelvic floor. You don't know that. How's the cervix? I don't know.

It's weird. Sorry, Nick. No, it's okay. Dentist would be up there for me. Dentists is weird. Yeah, because you're just like your mouth's open. An eye doctor is like nice and removed. That's not too intimate.

Yeah, I'd date an eye doctor. Yeah. But we would date all these people. Yeah. Just if they were our doctors. A dermatologist. Oh, yeah. I would love it if a dermatologist.

Because I would also be so honored if a dermatologist thought I was attractive they're like good skin more judgy of skin also derms are always my sister didn't even want to go into derm because she's like I can't look that pretty everyday they just look beautiful

they're radiant I'm with you girls dermatologists do dermatologists have to have good skin? they do skin, they do facials they have their makeup, they have their eyelash extensions Yeah. I'm with you girls, dermatologists. Do dermatologists have to have good skin? Because if they like walk in. They do skin. They do facials. They have their makeup. They have their eyelash extensions.

Like they're beautiful. I wouldn't go to them if they didn't have good skin. Because you don't want to go to a doctor where you're like, whoa, you're like a skin doctor. But like, what's going on? Can you help me? But then there's also like an element of not being intimidated or feeling bad about yourself if they're like more relatable. Yeah. You okay you also get acne like you're a human yeah they're like yeah no it's worse before let me see them show you the before and after

yeah i don't know what about you yeah my gyno no i wouldn't want to get my guy um yeah i mean anyone who's like had to poke and prong me yeah probably not uh-huh yeah anyway how do you want to start this adrena do you want us to go deep dive into your life and get all the juicy details or should we start we should we warm up with some pop culture discussions and just to keep it uh light at first i mean how deep are we gonna go right now the episode's called Going Deeper. We want all your secrets. Alright, let's warm up to that.

See, she's open. Great. She didn't say no. So, I don't know if you've been following the Sammy Sheen OnlyFans saga. Are you familiar with that? No. Okay, let's update you. But I do know what OnlyFans is. Sammy Sheen, daughter of Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen, turned 18, got an OnlyFans account.

There was a lot of judgment on the internet. Initially, Charlie Sheen was not really for the idea, kind of making a statement saying, I can't stop her because she's 18 and doesn't live under my roof, but I hope she does this with integrity. While her mom came out and supports and made a lot of parallels to how is OnlyFans that different from Playboy or other magazines kind of, you know, celebrating her own autonomy. Most recently, Denise Richards has now joined OnlyFans. Like solidarity. Like daughter like mother. Yes.

And then also Charlie Sheen has since said that Denise illuminated a variety of salient points that, in my haste, I overlooked and dismissed. What a statement. Did he bust out a thesaurus for that one? Oh, for sure. He illuminated. She illuminated. Wait, repeat that one more time. I know.

I was like, wait, what did you just say? Illuminated a variety of salient points that, in my haste, I overlooked and dismissed. And now more than ever. That's good co-parenting right there. Yeah. And he continued. Now more than ever, it's essential that Sammy have a united parental front to rely upon as she embarks on this new adventure.

From this moment forward, she'll have it abundantly. Wow. You know, that's Charlie being like, I'm just going to support the shit out of her and she'll be like not interested in doing it anymore. Probably. That's usually what happens. It's not rebellion. Yeah.

He's like, all right. Yeah. Charlie's going to go on OnlyFans too. Everyone. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not. Well, if you're looking to be entertained by other people's dating stories and often quinge-worthy moments, check out Queen of Hearts, a new dating show that gives you a front-row seat to hear all the incredible highs and cringe-worthy lows of modern dating.

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Yeah. So let's see if these people find love without six-pack abs, but sexy games. Sexy games. At the end of each episode, we'll find out who is one step closer and who is headed back to the apps. Follow Queen of Hearts wherever you get your podcast, or you can listen early on Amazon Music and add free by subscribing to one replay plus in apple podcast or the wondery app you have a daughter i do not at the age to do an only fan no she just turned six yeah absolutely not it's like a live stream of her that came out weird no but like in terms of supporting your child i I got to imagine even now, like things, all while having certain boundaries and rules,

especially in a climate that's all about kind of, we're very judgmental of being judgmental these days, especially when it comes to like parents and things like that. So how have you managed that? And how would you, for example, in this situation, like your daughter turns 18 and she wants to do an OnlyFans, like would you struggle with that? Or would you try to support her? Would you start one in solidarity? How would you go about

it? Well, hopefully by the time my daughter's 18, that doesn't exist. I don't know. There's going to be something else. Who knows? I don't even want to go there. But I think with my daughter now, it's just teaching her those morals and values. And there's so much more that you can do with yourself and who you are than making money off of photos or naked, whatever. I don't know what people do on OnlyFans to each his own. But I do with Denise Richards, you know, people do have bikini shots and lingerie on Instagram and now on OnlyFans they get paid for that, right? Yeah, it's unclear. There's no, it's not all nudity and it's definitely unclear whether she plans on doing that. It might just be exclusive content. I mean, I've done a lot of things. She can learn from my mistakes and I

wrote about a lot of this stuff in my book as well. So one day she'll read it and I'll guide her through it. But at the end of the day, it's the choices you make in your life that are going to determine your path in the future. So if you want to do that, do it. Just know what the consequences could be. And you have to kind of deal with that. Are there things that you've done in the past, whether it's on the hills or in the past that you thought, you know, I've learned to live with this because I've done it. There's nothing I can do about it. But what would be a story you would tell to your daughter about something you've

done that you later realized that you regretted? Gosh, when I was 16, 17, 8, I was coming up to LA all the time. Orange County is not that far. And a lot of my friends were models and actors. So I was up here and I was kind of guided and peer pressured in certain situations that I wish I had, I could say no and be strong with my no and not fall into peer pressure with, you know, topless photos or this and that, which, you know, in Europe, I mean, everybody's topless. It's not a big deal, but here, especially, I don't know, 20 years ago, it's not a big deal but here especially I don't know 20 years ago it's a huge deal if your boobs are out um but back then it was devastating for me when those pictures came out and I trusted the photographer and like all my friends were models and this and that so it was normal but then people spin it into a judgmental negative way and then it makes you feel shameful and bad about yourself in a way but then

yeah it's just I don't know it's navigating your early 20s and teens is hard and those choices you do sometimes have to live with you learn from them but then you can teach other people from what you've been through yeah how did you deal with that when those, when that stuff? Well, I was with Justin at the time and I remember we were laying out at the beach and they came out, the photographer that was a friend, a female friend sold them for money. And Justin was like, who cares? You look great. Like, who cares? They're boobs. Go to your, everybody has boobs. Like, stop freaking out about it. So so for me I had to put things in perspective where it was like all right who cares and now it's like even at the pool in Vegas sometimes there's a slip or like who cares yeah the betrayal though of a friend doing that yeah

sounds like like do you feel like as you've learned who is trustworthy and who's not like have you been able to maintain an openness and like a faith in people or have there been so many experiences of people abusing that trust that you're a little bit more closed off? I'm definitely more closed off. I don't trust a lot of people. So I have a small inner circle and I've learned over the years, I'm 37 now. So I've been through a lot to know the red flags of who I can trust and who not to, not just to like impulsively let someone in without knowing who they really are, their motives. Yeah, I think it's tougher. I don't know how it was for you, but I think people are the most vulnerable when they don't have like their core group of friends, especially if they're moving to a new city like

LA or they're, you know, they're kind of trying to expand their circle and their friends. And that's where you can be kind of susceptible and vulnerable to being taken advantage of. Cause you just go with the flow, which isn't always the right thing to do. Going with the flow. Yeah. I've never been a good go with the flow person and, and in a lot of ways I'm glad sometimes Sometimes I wish I could go with the flow but it has protected me. Yeah, that's

good. Often. There's pros and cons. Are there specific times coming to mind? I know. Let's hear one of your stories. A lot of stuff that like Adriana talked about were not like no one's asked me to take off my top but... He's like, you did that for free. I just do it. Which I did it again on the hills. There have been plenty of times where I'm

just like, nah, like I'm it feels like that's going to come back and you're going to regret that. So I'm good. See, but then you don't fall into peer pressure. I've never been a peer pressure person. That's awesome. Yeah. I was always very defiant with peer pressure. I was more like the, nah, you go first.

Totally. Well, speaking about things coming back and potential regrets, I don't know if you've been following the story about on Southern Charm, Naomi, who came back to the show, and Craig, a big plot point of the season is that they hooked up after having been broken up for a little while. Both of them had recently ended kind of newer relationships, so kind of a rebound moment. But they hooked up in Vegas. And I'm curious if you think there is ever a way where hooking up with an ex can go well. Because both of them described it as a very sort of one or two time thing.

And it gave them closure and comfort. They're not getting back together. This is just like a, they were in a relationship and now they're just fuck buddies? Well, it's not ongoing and it only happened, they said, a one or two off situation, which is like, obviously that means two or three. Sounds like a promotable moment for their new show. It's totally that. And it's gotten like blown up out of proportion,

but it does raise interesting questions because they were so- A couple of reality TV veterans here smell bullshit. I know. It's definitely great for ratings. Totally. And it's just, they both talk about it as an experience of closure.

And so I'm curious. One last time to see what it could be. How many times have you hooked up with an ex? Oh my gosh. Well, Justin, it was off and on again all the time, but we were so immature. And when you go back,

it never works out in my experience. It's just kind of a waste of time. And then you get attached again and have these emotions. You could get confused. So it's better just not to go there. Leave the door closed. If there was a big gap, like hooking up with an ex where like we hadn't seen each other for a while and then some time passed. It never, it was, I kind of remember wishing i left in the past yeah because it didn't

age as well as i and also people grow too and being in other relationships it's almost you grow as a person and then you go back to your past and then it's like this is not what i thought it was going to be what were what were we thinking um i do think though, like, tell me what you think, but catching up with an ex can be a positive thing. Now don't hook up with them. But if you want, if you're, if you've been investing in yourself and you're like, you want to get like a progress report.

True. I, yeah, I think I know where you're going. You've really been working on it yourself. And they're just like, man, you look great. And like, you know, like you just, you come and you and you're just like you're not you're not even there to date them you're there to just catch up with them they might they be there to date you and all they do is just tell you how great you look and then you're just like oh it's great to catch up and you never talk to them again that can be a nice little pep talk for you true or it's like i've also talked to like we're friends

with a couple of my exes who are now married and when we do see each other out you know they do they put things in perspective too or like wow

you've really grown as a person or it is nice to hear that. So you have some nice progress report. Thank you because you knew me

what 15 years ago and to hear that like that's good. It feels good yeah like you've been doing the work. You never want to hear the You haven't changed. It feels good, yeah. Like you've been doing the work. You never want to hear the... You haven't changed.

No, or things will get better. It'll pick up. Yeah, is everything okay with you? Yeah, she's going to rock. Do you have a favorite ex? A favorite ex? No. Do you have a favorite ex?

No. I feel like, I think I read somewhere on the internet that everyone has a favorite ex. Or an ex who they feel maybe less competitive or any kind of... internet that like everyone has a favorite ex or an ex who they feel maybe less competitive or any kind of i think about i mean like i had i got together with my ex in april and it was a lovely 24 hours where we acted like a couple and then i dropped him off the airport did you hook up yeah it was great i was like see you next time see you in two to four years. Exactly. But like exes, like people I've dated, I definitely don't have a favorite ex.

Like there are like people I've like casually dated where if I run into them, I'm like, you know, they're cool. They're great. You know, it didn't work out with them. Like I have a couple like women that like for whatever reason we didn't like it didn't like develop into anything and i have a soft spot i suppose where i'm just like you know you're great you know like some guys yeah i'd be really lucky it just it wasn't you know we're not gonna be a thing yeah i mean yeah and in my experience it's like i always gave them another chance or if it didn't work out because of our schedules and our filming and this and that, we'd break up and then get back together and see if it would work again.

And it was just the same thing. It's like, what are we doing? Did you ever have like a, you were, you've been in LA for a while. You were part of an insanely popular show for, especially for its time. Like, did you have any like celebrity crush moments where you had a chance to like meet or potentially date a celebrity crush that either did or didn't go anywhere? Like a celebrity crush. Like you ran into a party and you're like, oh my God, that's. I feel like I've met Leo. I've met.

Everyone's met Leo. I know. Especially being in LA, you see everyone all the time. So it's not like, but did you have a crush on any of them and shoot your shot? No, but I did not that I have a crush on Anthony Hopkins, but when I worked at,

he's one of the only people that I was ever starstruck over him and Michelle Pfeiffer are like, I love them. So those people, I just feel like they're so respected and they're so good at what they do. But everyone else you see in LA all the time, it's just kind of like someone you're in the industry with and you see them all the time. You're just like, hey, what's up? Just because you have mutual friends. So yeah, I can't think of anyone. I haven't met anyone that

I have like a crush on yet. Are you someone who shoots your shot if there is someone that you're interested in? Or would you much rather be pursued? I'd rather be pursued. I'm very traditional in that sense. But being on the hills, there were moments where I was pressured to go up to someone and like shoot the shoot. I was like, okay, hey, I'm Audrina, whatever. Like you want to play pool or you want to, I don't know. We just like walk up and talk to them. Hey, I'm Audrina, whatever. Like you want to play pool or

you want to, I don't know. We just like walk up and talk to them. Hey, I'm Audrina, whatever. Do you want to play pool? I love it. What a line. It's casual. It's effortless. Not like that. It was like, I had to go back in time. I'm thinking of a specific moment where we went out with the girls and there were these guys at the bar and they kept looking at us and we kept looking at them, but no one would make the move. So I had to go up to them and introduce myself and then ask them to come over and let's play pool. But there's a twist to it. Whoever loses has to buy a round of shots.

So we actually won. So they lost and had to buy us, which we were really impressed that we won, to be honest. Do you think they let you? Yeah. Well, I don't know. There was a couple that were really competitive. I don't want to diminish your pool skills.

I'm terrible at pool. Yeah, it's tough. Yeah, I'm so bad that I feel like it's bad for women, the way I play pool. Yeah, we thought we were bad too until we won. I feel like there's a stereotype of like, oh, girls at the bar. There's some incredible women pool players.

I don't, I know it, but I feel like i am terrible amanda's not one of them but yeah i'm not really one to go up to someone and i don't know also i've you know having a daughter now and being a single mom it's like it's a whole different ball game it's so different are you currently single and dating yes how is that is that? It's interesting. I'm trying to navigate this whole new experience with having a daughter and dating. And, you know, like when do you introduce them or how many dates? It's hard to getting babysitters and driving to L.A. or making plans. And like a lot of guys, too, don't have experience with women with kids or they don't understand that they're a priority.

And sometimes you might have to leave halfway through the date. You might have to bail last minute. Like it just happens. So it's been interesting. How are you going about, how are you going about meeting men? Are you on dating apps at all? No, I've never been on a dating app. Never? No. It's literally just through friends of friends and going out and just meeting people. Do you have any, because I think that's something a lot of people say both on the show and in life is just not really liking dating apps, but feeling like they have no other choices. So when you go out and meet someone and are able to turn that into a date or a potential date,

what's your approach? And do you have any like strategic tips to share for people who are also trying to do that? I mean, for me, it's like, I have to get it out. Like, I have a daughter. I'm divorced. Like, let's just put that out there because that scares a lot of guys away. It's too much for them to handle. So for me, it's kind of getting those facts out first because I don't want to waste my time either. And also, it's like, I only go on one or two dates to really know if I like the person. And if there's not a connection or red flag or anything, like I usually like, that's it. I just don't have time to waste anymore. Well, how has dating evolved for you? I mean,

obviously having a kid and being divorced, you mentioned that you bring that up. So that's something you kind of just put out there. But other than that, what are some of the things that you're looking for compared to the past? Like, have your priorities changed in terms of when you're sitting down on a date, first or second date, and you're trying to figure out, you know, who am I dating? What do I want to get to know? Like, what are things that you're prioritizing now that might be different than the past? I mean, in the past, past you know my 20s i was just i had no responsibilities i was wild i was carefree i was rebellious i was like yeah let's do it um now i'm very responsible it's like i need someone that is consistent um that has integrity

dignity loyalty respect and you know communicates it all comes down to communication a lot of the time too like no games no games no games but i do feel like communication gets brought up so much as being an essential component of relationships do you have like specific examples when someone has communicated well or it's like stood out to you as oh this is exactly what i mean when i say i value communication and openness yeah it's like just you know there there's been some guys that I've dated where it just seemed too good to be true in the beginning. And they started sending my daughter all these toys and stuff to my house all the time. And I'm like, you haven't met her, but what are you doing? Like, I barely know you. That's a lot. But that that's nice it was a lot all at once and then it

he just agreed with everything I said and like it's almost like he googled me and found you know I'm a tourist so everything was about my horoscope and like who I was and like he based everything on that and I was like okay like who are you like what do you like like you agree with everything like let's talk about something like the feelings of you know like what do you think on this subject like don't agree with me so what happened you know it ended he's like i got nothing which was fine it just was way too heavy way too fast and i felt so pressured and locked in a corner. I'm like, I can't do this. This is too much. Like I can't. And I also don't like to rush into things. I just, from being married already and getting married because, you know, I thought it was the right thing to do, having a daughter. I just, I'm not about rushing into things. What's the point?

What was your biggest takeaway? You mentioned you're being married, obviously, and your divorce was pretty public. You had to file a restraining order against him. How are things now? Do you have any communication? It must be a challenge to try to co-parent, but as someone who's had their own challenges with your ex, but you also share a daughter, how do you go about trying to make sure your child has a relation with their father versus protecting yourself and having just a healthy, good mental health with your relationships? What is that like? And do you have any advice for anyone listening who might be

experiencing, you know, or something that you've experienced in the past? Yeah, we've been through a lot and a lot I can't really talk about. But at this point, as long as my daughter is happy and, you know, she sees her dad every now and then. And I never, you don't ever bad talk the other, you know, like that's her father. I respect for him as her father. We don't get along at all. And I think as far as co-parenting, we use an app called Talking Parents. And so there's no texting or phone calls or anything. It's good for us. And for our daughter, I think for co-parenting, I'll, you know, give her, give him the photos. And it's, we keep it

all about our daughter. I try to keep it all about our daughter. Strictly, it's almost like a business. You know, like, I don't want to hear your thoughts or opinions about me. Keep that to yourself. You know, this is, I'm only speaking to you about our daughter and that's it. That's it. And what's the app called? Talking Parents. Is that something that's like available to anyone? It is. I imagine that must be pretty helpful.

It's so helpful. It really is. and with scheduling things and all of that so it's way easier than if you miss a text message or whatever this has the time and when it was read and on all of that so it keeps things like clean and like factual and it's all there that's great yeah so that really helps helps me so recently it was talked about how the hills is having some sort of new reboot show and unfortunately yeah you and the original cast won't be on it you're not thrilled with that we're not thrilled with it either yeah what what so like can do you know what's going on are they just like basically is this is this like like saved by the, the new class for a bunch of like, or the 90210 new class? Those never worked out.

I know. I feel like a lot of those shows, they don't really work out. We had no idea that they were doing that show. So it was a big surprise when we saw it all over Instagram. We're like, what? Is it coming? Is it like, has it already been filmed or something? I think they're filming it right now, but with The Hills and New Beginnings,

we had a cast of 14, and we changed it from 30-minute episodes to an hour long. And for us, with 14, that was even hard to film because there were so many storylines and so much that it was just too much going on. So I'm really interested in seeing how this new show, well, this new show, The New Hills,

is going to be with 20 people. I don't know. But also, they're all young. They're going out. It's probably going to be a whole different kind of TV show. Yeah. Or maybe closer to what it used to be with more people bouncing around in between relationships. Yeah, more to film.

And, you know, now it kind of ours ran its course and we got to the point where everybody's either having kids or married or divorced or, you know, there's no more storylines to really. And we're all we can't just do crazy wild stuff anymore, not care about our image or what it's going to do to our families or kids because we're older now it's different so do you talk to spencer pratt ever no you don't keep any like his i talked to heidi you talked to heidi yeah uh he's recently been like on tiktok doing a bunch of like recaps on the hills i've heard you haven't seen any of them i've had a few people and actually another podcast i did the guy started reading me stuff and he's like so how do you feel about this and he's i was like what i have no idea like i do not yeah it seems like he's done it recently spencer is one of a kind and i love heidi i'm close to Heidi but Spencer is Spencer

and I have nothing bad to say about him. I really don't care what he says. Who are you closest with from the hills? Probably Brody and Jason and Ashley and then Kristen. And you guys still talk a lot, keep in touch. Yeah.

Any stories from the past where you guys, I mean you probably have shared all your stories we have so many well our podcast we just like announced it today but it's it airs july 12th so brody frankie and i talk about everything and we're starting from the very beginning and watching every episode and giving the scoop we have our old producers come on and watching every episode and giving the scoop. We have our old producers come on,

calling us out and telling us kind of why they did this scene this way. And it's, you know, the fans call in and ask questions. Nothing's off the table, so. Recently, Christine Quinn went on the Call Her Daddy podcast and talked about, is he the head producer, Adam DeVillo? Oh, yeah. And she had some, like like not nice things to say about him so she kind of what did she say about him like there's been complaints filed against

him multiple complaints and then he basically he she accused him of of telling her to kill himself kill herself what yeah do you have what was your experience like with with adam because she kind of suggested that he was pretty aggressive and manipulative. And then it sounds like Spencer, at least. Well, they had a lot of issues with him. Yeah. He didn't say anything specifically, but he seemed to want to support Christine's comments about Adam. But what was your experience like with him?

My experience with Adam was never that negative. He was, I mean, come on, it's a reality show. You have to instigate and manipulate. Otherwise, it's going to be boring. But the pressure and some of the things that were done in the past were very manipulative where we did have to get our lawyers involved and like sit down and be like, we get this as a tv show we're willing to do and say whatever but at the same time you can't like it's not cool to push this or you can't do that what was uh one of the things that you guys had to push back on well there was one time in miami we were filming there for super bowl and krist Kristen was out like hanging out partying and she was with a guy and she didn't show up for a couple of the episodes.

And so they're trying to bribe us with a fancy designer bag. And we're like, no, we're not doing that. And Lo was like, I'll do it. So she went on camera and like started talking about Kristen and putting things out there that weren't true about her doing drugs and all that. And it was on the cover of Us Wee. It was all over. It was so bad. So they bribed her with clothes.

Like a handbag. A purse. Yeah. But they basically bribed her to make up stories about Kristen. Yeah. So that was a moment that we all were just like, okay, enough is enough. Like, so we all got together with our lawyers and, um, we just kind of had to put our foot down, but you know, it's like some people are willing to do anything, just be like,

oh, I don't care. I'll do it. I'll say whatever, you know? And then other people are like, well, no, because it's going to affect to affect who I really am in the real world. People believe everything on the reality TV show sometimes, even though some of it's manipulated and hyped up for the sake of ratings. And it just gets to the point where you start getting pissed off at the producers. Did you ever have something that you said or did that you look back and regret and thought that that didn't represent my friend the best way or myself that you wish you would that you would want to clear the air on? I think there was a few things. I mean, there's a lot of different things. And I clear the air a lot in my book choices. But a lot of it was like the blank stairs you know the hills was

known for blank stairs and our producer came on and talked about why they loved the blank stairs what and describe for our audience what what what do you mean by a blank so basically on the show you'll be doing a scene with someone and you're filming for like sometimes three hours straight doing a lunch you know a lunch and then they edit and chop it up and sometimes in editing instead of showing your full sentence they'll just show you giving a weird look when she says something else and it makes it just amplifies that scene and makes it better but there's all and then they'll show like the blank stares like we'll just be staring at each other at the end of the lunch staring at each other. So you would do like five minutes of B-roll staring that they would use to edit in?

I think it's that was just from like watching each other talk, you know, and then they take that and it's like boom, boom. Ooh, the drama, you know, but I don't know from an entertainment standpoint. I get it. it's funny and in the moment when you're young and going through it it's like oh i can't believe they did this or why did they do that you're making me look dumb but then you get through and you're like wow that was actually a great scene yeah it's it's tough to try to manage that in the moment but it sounds like you got through it for the most part unscathed we got through it there was a lot of ups and downs with the producers where we'd have to call our publicists or lawyers and be like they're not letting me leave you know because they really

would want me in particular there was this one scene kristin and i had to do we had a fight over justin and i was like i'm i have a boyfriend I don't want to keep fighting over Justin. I don't want to keep acting like I care. Him and Kristen have their thing for the show. Let them do their thing. But for that scene, we needed to get into it about him. So I kept refusing and I wanted to leave and they blocked my car in. And I was like, get me out of here here I don't want to do it um and so I talked to Kristen and we're like let's just do it because she wanted to leave too we're like okay let's just do it and get out of here so we did it and then we left how many how many moments are on the hills that are a result of two people like just being worn out and just saying let's just do it and get

it over with towards the end there is quite a few where there's a lot of pressure and it's just do it and get it over with. Towards the end, there is quite a few where there's a lot of pressure and it's just like, okay, I'll just do it. This is where maybe we needed you. It'd be like, no, I'm not doing it. We were always just like, come on, it'll make a good scene. Just do it. It's for the show.

You want good ratings. So you end up just doing it and then you deal with the aftermath. It kind of just, I mean, it depends. I'm sure being on The Bachelor, So you end up just doing it and then you deal with the aftermath. but it was ultimately just like, yeah, sure. Like whatever, like it's not affecting me, but it sounds like in these, some of these cases, like I can't imagine having a significant other in the real world. Like you had a boyfriend at the time.

It was the hardest. And then having to, how did you, how did your boyfriend deal with it at the time? He didn't watch the show. It's like, please don't watch it. That's a good start. Yeah. And I would tell him everything but he also is in the industry so he kind of understood the entertainment value and tv aspect

to it and i would literally show up to film do my scene and leave right after so there was no funny business or anything that was untrusty untrustworthy but it did it made it hard like when you're trying to have a relationship off camera but they won't come on camera but you don't really want them to because you don't want to get them in the mix of the TV drama. Because it does change your whole relationship with people being in front of a camera, I think. Yeah. And when you started on the show, you were kind of, you got scouted and some of them were already friends. So like you were kind of the outsider at first. Whitney and I were the first LA friends.

So Lauren and Heidi were already friends from FITM and they Laguna Beach. And then they went to FITM in San Fran. The fashion school. Yeah. FITM is the fashion. Yeah. So they were moving to LA and Lauren was getting her spinoff show for the Hills and Adam was scouting where I lived.

And that's how I got brought onto the show. I met him at the pool, and two weeks later, we started filming. And I was one of their first LA friends, because I already had a job at Coyote Smashbox Studios, and I had my go-tos like Thursday nights, Monday nights, where to go, and all my friends in LA. So I kind of, Monday nights, where to go, and all my friends in LA. So I kind of, we all just, and Whitney was from LA. So between us, we just like went out and brought them into the circle and all became friends. Wild stuff.

What do you think is one thing, I always, like when I get asked questions like this, whether it's critics that you have had over the years, like what do you think is something that you would like people to know about you that sometimes you feel like people misunderstand about you or it's like being in the, like being a reality TV public figure,

at least me and myself and my peers, it's always like, there's always a handful of things that you see written or talked about, whether it's critics and it just, you know, that's not anything like who I am. Is there stuff like that where you feel like, you know, you feel misrepresented or what's the one thing that people might get wrong about you that's completely not who you are? I think, and again, in my book, Choices, I talked a lot about this too, because I've always just been the one when I read things like back in the day before Instagram and all that, there was like Perez Hilton's blog. That's where you find news out. And then all the, the weeklies, you know, it's all the gossip stuff.

Um, and there was always things put out there that weren't true about me. And I was just like, whatever, I don't care. Like you have to have thick skin and you brush it off. And it's like the people for me that I did care about, like that's who I would clear things up with or they would come to me. But everybody else, I was like, whether I clear it up or say my opinion, people are gonna believe what they wanna believe.

So whatever. And I just bit my tongue, especially recently, I've had to bite my tongue about a lot of things with my divorce and what I was going through. And even with the show sometimes, because just like, why am I going to keep defending myself and trying to clear something up when it's already out there and people are going to believe what they want to believe. But I cleared everything up in my book. But how would you want like your best friend to describe you who's hooking you up with a date like how would you

so you're played the role of your friend they're setting you up on a date how would you want your friend to describe you like well actually i do have a couple friends that i've told they're like guy friends and they're like adrina there is so much more to you and so much more depth that people don't know that you hide from people. But again, I don't, I just don't let people in. I think they would describe me as, I don't like witty, quirky, fun, spontaneous, very caring, sometimes too much. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I just can't help it. And I'm committed. I'm a very loyal person and I just whoever's in my life is like family you're I will have your back I will help you with whatever

you need I'll wake up at four in the morning like if you're if I love you and you're in my circle like you're my family it's pretty good do you want to talk about dance jt dance moves have you seen that have you been following that you guys I live in a six-year-old world. I don't follow that. I have no idea. Justin Timberlake has been recently dragged for dancing, and I felt bad for him. And he even issued an apology.

He issued an apology right here. What do you mean dragged for dancing? Right now, everyone's mad at Justin Timberlake because of the Janet Jackson stuff. From Super Bowl forever ago? Yeah. It's society's fault what happened to Janet Jackson, not Justin Timberlake.

I mean, because basically everyone's just like, nothing bad happened to Justin Timberlake. His career essentially took off from that. And certainly Justin didn't do anything to protect Janet. So I guess you could criticize him for that. But a lot of people, you know, Janet Jackson's career took a dive after that. Didn't she just have a nip slip though? It was like a wardrobe malfunction.

How did it take a dive from that? Well, at different times back then, yeah. Society did not appreciate the nipple back then and uh so but now it seems like yeah justin's getting dragged i don't know if it's just because of that he he did what did he cheat on jessica i don't know that was a rumor i don't know if it was a rumor but anyways they right lately i've noticed that like justin has some like spotlights on him and people are enjoying trying to point out mistakes he's making. Even his. These dance moves.

I mean, they're not the strongest dance moves, but it's like. Oh, he was getting absolutely flamed. Like just people. There's all these videos of the people like mocking his dances. To the point where like he basically he basically got shamed doing an apology do it like you know he shamed us one time justin of us in the hills so we were at i think it was the vmas and we we were presenting an award and he won and i i like justin emery like but i never loved his music i was more of the rocker, like indie, whatever. So the pop stuff

was never my jam. But Lauren and Whitney like were obsessed. And so when he came up on stage to get the award, he didn't say thank you. He grabbed the trophy or whatever. And he like started saying on MTV or on the cameras to MTV, like bring back i don't you could probably google this but it's like bring back um music videos like mtv like no more reality shows and started going on a rant and we were standing there like oh my gosh we feel so stupid uh and we ran off stage he went the other way and we were just kind of like lauren was just dumbfounded like i can't believe that just happened oh my god he was on stage with you yes but we were standing there next to him as he was saying that because we presented him the award do you think he had any idea or was he just a loop he had to have i mean it was like we were

introduced as reality star the hills girls blah blah blah blah blah like we were presenting maybe justin deserves this that's kind of a mean thing to do i couldn't i couldn't imagine mocking the people i was who presented the award i mean i love that you're giving him the benefit of the doubt maybe he didn't know who we were but i don't know i was still like i don't i don't know yeah maybe he was yeah i don't know it was just very humiliating do we have the video there's a quote of one of the things he said was play more damn videos i want to challenge mtv to play more videos yeah i don't remember exactly it sounds like maybe he felt the music wasn't as present in mtv well

that's also when we were like you know that's the hills was huge like that we were on the cover of rolling stones and like it was everywhere like we were on the cover of Rolling Stones. And, like, it was everywhere. Like, we were famous overnight. Like, it happened so fast. But, you know, being fans of these amazing artists, as you get to know them and you have these encounters being in the industry, it's like you start looking at people differently. I think Justin Timberlake might have been kind of a jackass in his earlier days.

There's probably a little bit of arrogance, I'm sure. Yeah. I don't know. Do you think people get a pass for being a jackass in their early 20s? Sure. No, I don't think celebrities. I think everyone gets a little bit of a pass. Yeah.

Yeah. People change. You go through life and learn from a lot of- Right? Yeah. Yeah. People change. You go through life and like learn from a lot of. Right. Yeah. Like let's not, let's not cancel this. Even the ability to like say, I'm sorry. I, I, and growth.

But yeah, I think we all have been probably. Right. I'm sure you've had moments where you've looked back and go, I was probably feeling myself a little too much in that moment. And I might've been rude or inconsiderate, maybe not on purpose. Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

Like, it's not like, I have no idea what Justin Timberlake was thinking in that moment, but what he was probably not thinking about is anyone else but himself. Yeah, just himself. Right? And I think as a result,

that can cause collateral damage and just being inconsiderate, you know? And I think as you get older, you can be more mindful of that. you know you hear people's stories and but yeah i'm more than willing to give people a pass and how they like god like do any of us want to be like i don't want to be judged for me locked in for like everything we did in our 20s and like as we get older be like no that's who you are no way that's just like no no self-growth or personal development you know and that's how you have self-growth is going through these crazy moments where you're like wow i just learned a huge lesson from that right you know like that those humbling moments where you realize

it just it seems like justin's going through it now for what he did 10 or 15 years ago and because like the internet has realized this this man was never held accountable for some of these like petulant things he did and now they're just like finding things that like shit on because at first it's just like what's wrong with this but like people really do care about everything like even digging up the past like their opinions and it's crazy like they'll either have your back or they won't but everything is brought to the surface you're not getting away from anything so be prepared i'm curious if there is a cast member who you feel like was the most misportrayed on the show like someone whose image on the show really differed from the way you knew them really because we all were ourselves but then sometimes

we all amped it up or we had to like improvise you know improv act there is i don't know if you're aware there is an entire reddit thread about your style on the show uh in comparison to your other castmates. Oh, God. And everyone was very... I apologize. Is this good or bad? If someone says Reddit,

and I get anxiety, I'm sure it's great. No, but everyone was very pro your style. I pulled some quotes for you. Wait, that's awesome. Someone said, I agree. Audrina's clothes on the OG Hills

are super cute. Many outfits could still be worn today. I would describe her style as classic and practical with a rough punk edge. Someone else said Audrina's style has really aged well and seems timeless. Yeah, I still can't address similar. Like fashion advice, how do you have a timeless fashion taste? I just, you know, I buy a lot of solid colors because you could re-wear them and you could like even this long dress, I could put a hoodie over it and tie it and it's like a dress.

I just like to dress classic, like sleek and sexy, but with that edge. Like it has to have a little bit of an edge. People also were joking around about you potentially becoming a real housewife. No. And so I was, if you could join one other current show. That was a fast no. Yeah. If you could join one other show currently on air, what would it be?

I don't watch TV. I know this is terrible. I literally watch whatever my daughter watches. She's like, the Wiggles. The Wiggles, no. But no more reality TV for you? I did hosting. I was on a show on NBC for two years, a travel show, and I loved that.

I've done a few movies. That was fun. But I just feel like reality is not reality anymore. I just feel like if you're going to do reality, you really have to be prepared to like step it up and be extra because it has to be entertaining. And I've it's very stressful and I feel like I did that for so long, but it would depend what kind of reality show. If it's like a super dramatic show, probably not. I've been through enough drama in my life at this point that I'm ready for peace. So if it was like, I don't know, about love or educational

or kids or interior design, I don't know. There's so many other different kinds of reality shows that I would be up for instead of going into a show like The Hills was where it's Drama. based on drama. So maybe it was just a blessing

that they went with a new cast. Yeah, I think we were all kind of, we were surprised by it, but also like, I guess I can't speak for everyone, but I was okay with it. It's like not getting invited to the party

you probably didn't want to go to anyways. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. Yep. All right, Adrena, are you probably didn't want to go to anyways. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. Yep. All right. Adrena, are you going to down to help us with the office texting hours? Yes.

Texting office hours? Did I say that backwards? My dyslexia. Same thing. We get it. All right. Let's get to our caller. How's it going?

Good. How are you? Good. What's your name? I'm Jenna. I'm 30. Hi, Jenna. I need help drafting a text to a girlfriend of mine. We were super close and then we had an instance happen and kind of weird texting back and forth and I just like need help knowing do I carry on or do I kind of let this die out?

Okay, so we don't even know if we need to send a text because you guys have been basically fighting via text back and forth? Not fighting per se. Definitely having a hard time understanding each other, but there hasn't been fighting. It's been pretty cordial, like wishing each other happy birthday and stuff like that. Have you acknowledged what happened?

Yeah, what happened? So back, it's almost been a year since this happened. I was supposed to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. We've been friends for 10 years. Like it's been a good friendship where it's super honest with each other. She's one of those friends that like calls me out for my shit. And I've always respected her for that. And we had, I wouldn't even say a disagreement. We had to have an

uncomfortable conversation before I was able to be in the wedding party. And I didn't have an answer for her. And then what was the, what was the topic about? It was a hot button issue about a certain vaccine. Oh, gotcha. Yes. I feel like that's really common actually nowadays. So you guys disagreed about the vax. Okay. Not necessarily disagreed. I think I was caught off guard, right? That that was going to be a requirement because that hadn't something that was addressed when I was first asked to be a bridesmaid. So again, I wasn't against it, but I was just really caught off guard and it made me a bit emotional because it felt like she had already made up her mind before the conversation. Like it

kind of felt like she was ready to kind of cut me loose even before having that conversation. You hadn't at that point or had reservations about it and you felt like she had, so she did cut you out or how did she approach that conversation? So she told me that she wanted the entire bridal party to be vaccinated. She said she didn't really ask me to do it. She was just kind of like, so that's it. Would you have done it? Yeah.

Because to me, it wasn't like a big deal. How did she know that you hadn't at that point? Well, because I just had COVID a few weeks prior. And so she had asked me if I had been vaccinated. And at that point I hadn't, I was still like coming off of breastfeeding. You're probably thinking I just got it, you know, I've got some antibodies. Yeah. And I just had it. So, and I don't, I'm a stay at home mom. Like I'm not making excuses. That's just my own personal. Yeah. We're not here to get into like vax debates here. But either way, at the time you weren't and your friend called you up and fired you from the bridal party and claimed that it was because you're not vaxed.

Did you still go to the wedding? I did. So she still wanted me to come as a guest and I love her dearly. Was the bridal party in a glass box? No, it was outside. I just thought maybe they were like bubble wrapped because... It's weird that it wasn't... Because I've known weddings where it's everyone.

It is vaccine mandatory. It's weird that just that chunk of people had the... Well, that's why we're smelling a little bullshit around the... I think she was kind of expecting me not to go because it was... I'm on the East Coast. She's on West Coast. But I love her. She's my best friend. I'm like, I'm going to be there for your special day no matter what. And if you're going to extend the invite as a guest, like, one of my best friends. She calls me a bullshit. And then yes, the vax discussion is a hot topic that has brought families and close ones to some very heated discussions.

I get that. But it seems odd that this friend didn't even say, hey, listen, I want you there. Like it's not personal, but like I'm just deciding to have everyone vaxxed. So can you please get vaxxed so that you can be in my wedding party? That didn't happen. How have you guys been since?

Obviously, it's a different friendship. There's like an elephant in the room. It's the elephant in the room, and I reached out several times after that incident to talk because I just felt like we just needed to continue to talk and understand each other. And I told her, I'm like, I'm going to get vaccinated regardless if you want me in the wedding or not. To me, it wasn't like, I wasn't standing on that issue. And plus I was going to be traveling. So then it just made more sense for me.

And do you remember anything prior to this happening? Was there, was there another fight of some kind? No, I mean, we've never had a fight, even really a disagreement, but because we've always talked it out and had an understanding for one another. The only thing that I can think of is I did notice like over the last year, there was less frequent texting, like less engagement because we would FaceTime frequently. And I just assumed like she's a frontline worker. So I'm like, maybe, you know, the pandemic is really wearing her down and it's just harder for her to like engage. And, but I did

definitely kind of sense that there was not like she wanted to push me out of her life, but we are on opposite ends of the country. So it was kind of hard to stay friends, but I mean, we would go months and then FaceTime and it was like, no time had passed at all. So I mean, I have friends like that, though, where we'll go six months without talking, but then we'll talk like no time has passed just because we both get so busy. I mean, have you expressed that it seems like you're hurt by it, like you miss her and your friendship? Have you communicated that to her? Yes. And when she brought up this, oh, I'm like making this a requirement and it didn't really seem like a question did you just say okay and like knew what that meant you weren't in the

party or did you counter her and say no like I will get vaccinated if that's what you need like I still want to be a part of your day I told her at first I said that I needed to think about it but then at the end of our conversation I said you, you know, I don't really have a problem. I don't have a problem or an issue. But she was like, you're still out. It's too late. It's like she already had her mind made up. Yeah, that's how it felt.

And I checked in like after we had hung up the phone because things just felt like uneasy and uncertain. Usually if you have that feeling, you're right. Yeah. So since the wedding, you have reached out to her and said, I miss our friendship? Yes.

And what did she say? I mean, the first time, I think I included some of those texts. She sent the one that said, you know you can always come stay with me, you and both kids. Did she just randomly send you that one day? Yeah. And this was after the wedding.

But that was her message because that almost seemed like a response or something. You wrote, hi, it's nice to hear from you. I guess I'm a little confused because I haven't felt great about where you and I stand. Things have felt very uncertain between us. Do you feel the same way? I just wanted you to know that you have a safe place if you needed it. To me, you're still my best friend. It makes me sad that we haven't talked and I miss you a lot. And then three days later, she wrote, I miss you too. Three days later?

Three days later. She gave heart a date or something. And that's kind of how things were for a while. And then New Year's Day, you wrote thinking of you today, happy new year. And then the next day she wrote happy new year, exclamation point. Same on the birthdays.

She wished you happy birthday. You said, thank you. Is this someone you want to fight for, to keep in your life or someone that you cherish? Yeah. I mean, we have really, we've been through a lot together. She has been my number one supporter. She's pushed me out of my comfort zone. So I miss that. Like I miss her encouragement because it's nice to have, you know, my partner does that for me, but it's so nice to have like that feminine

energy yeah you know who just like gets you and knows your struggle to have her support so I miss her incredibly maybe just tell her that speak from your heart and just say how much you miss her and what do you think Nick do you think she should mention anything of like you know I felt like things have been a little off since the bridal party thing. Well, she has. I mean, I would have loved to be a part of it. She's really put herself out there already.

I mean, once again, she wrote, hi, on June 11th, she wrote, hi, memories on my phone are popping up from mine and someone else's visit a few years ago, thinking of you and missing you. She wrote back a day later that was such a fun trip i hope you guys are doing well and then you wrote again i miss our friendship would you be interested in talking and then a day later she wrote yeah let's find some time this week to talk if you're around and then you wrote i'm available you're clearly like

yeah yeah i think you have to just really lay it out there. I think you should get on the phone for sure. Even a FaceTime would be ideal. Oh, I've called her so many times. She doesn't answer? No. Oh, no. No, I've left voice messages.

You've called her several times and left voice messages? Mm-hmm. So now I'm just curious, like, why are you hanging on to this so much? I mean, I get that she's your friend from the past and I understand that, but it seems like she's actively not wanting to participate in this friendship. Yeah, she's not really being a friend to you.

You're right. And at the same time, I don't like the icky feeling I have about where we've left things things not that I'm really looking for closure you know because that's something that I can I can control is like getting past it on my own but you can I don't know I'm kind of contradicting myself I feel like closure from friendships is something that's harder to get on your own from than relationships because I feel like with relationships,

there's something like, well, if you don't want to be with me. I'm not going to force you. It can't be one-sided. But like a friendship, a relationship has the friendship element and the romantic side. And if the romantic side can get toxic,

then someone doesn't want to, you know, like those feelings can change. And despite the friendship still maybe being solid, you can't be friends with your ex type of thing. But our friendship, like you have this history and so much you've been through, like, I feel like it's harder to get closure on your own. So here's what I think you should do now that I have all the information and you tell me what you think. But I think you should try if you can to like get on the phone with her. She seems open to it. Has there been any follow-up since your last text?

No. So that's what I need your help. Do I draft another text and try and schedule a call? Well, yeah. She basically was like, let's find this time this week and you wrote, I like that. And I think you should text her and be like, how's this week looking for a catch-up? Okay. And just keep it short and simple.

Yeah. Just get something on the books so you know when you call, she's answering. Yeah, because sometimes texting too comes off differently than when you actually speak to someone on the phone.

So I feel like there's so much you guys probably need to talk about, but it needs to be on the phone. You said she's a frontline worker, so her probably schedule with work might be a little insane. Right? So like half the times you're calling or reaching out, You said she's a frontline worker, so her probably schedule with work might be a little insane, right? So like half the times you're calling or reaching out, it's not like she's looking at the phone and seeing the voicemail.

She might like not be on her phone, and it's just not a prayer to get back to you. She could be feeling awkward about it as well, and maybe she's given up on the friendship it certainly sounds like that like she live in a different part of the country she got married she's got these new beginnings it's easy i think and someone in her position to kind of let the past go and you you don't want to and that's okay if you get on the phone with her i would be just as open to getting closure as you are as saving the friendship. I think you want to go in with that mindset because if you go in just to save the friendship, you might not get the closure you need because if she ultimately doesn't want to invest in this friendship, you know, like I think because if you focus on getting closure too, you can find out

what might be the real reason because it doesn't sound like even the vax is the real reason. And even if it was, you have since been vaxed, you've tried out reaching multiple times, she seems not that interested. hey, listen, it's totally okay if maybe you had a different part in your life. But can I just ask, from your point of view, why isn't this friendship a priority anymore? Because you keep saying, I miss this friendship, I miss this friendship, and she says things like, I miss too. You're not really getting any answers.

Does she like your partner? Because she didn't invite them to stay with her. Good question. Yeah. That could be it. I mean, that could be it. That could be. I mean, he asked when we were at the wedding,

he's like, is it me? Because she didn't want to hug me or acknowledge me. Really? I'm like, well, I don't. Yeah. But it's like he hasn't done anything to my knowledge that would withstand. Because didn't she

specifically and let you and the kids come stay with her yeah that's true i didn't even realize that that was like so because it doesn't like what you're telling doesn't none of it doesn't all add up right because that's the thing if it was the covid vaccine like i've watched that kind of be a conflict with people they're not hugging each other at that point they're like come but let's hang out outside or keep a distance. Like, if that was really the reason, I don't think she would have been dancing and hugging with you all night.

Yeah, well, there's that, too. You're at the wedding. Even if people are arguing about the vax, eventually, like, it gets people in fights, but in most cases, it hasn't, like, stopped people from being friends. Like, you might have a heated discussion, and then later on, you know, whatever.

And also, you've been vaxxed. So that's like a non-starter. That sounds like an excuse. Yeah. And then she randomly texts you, hey. If you need a safe space to stay. Does she think something's going on

that's not? Yeah, what does she think that's going on? It's like, she has, it sounds like she has an impression of you or your relationship that may or may not be accurate? I think because her and I views like align with every everything going on like politically and otherwise. So I think when

I wasn't vaccinated, I think she thought it was my partner's influence. That's the only thing that I could think of. But I mean, it wasn't like I, I make my own decisions about my health choices. So, but that's the inkling that I get, like that she thinks that because he has different views on things that it was him being like, oh, so you know that she knows that your, your partner has different political ideologies than you and her do. That's got to be it. Yeah, that's what's going on here. Yeah.

Yeah. I think we cracked the case. That was kind of my underlying thought. But I mean, to me, it's like it has nothing to do with she and I. Like, you know, like what he thinks and what he does. At this age, people are drawing harder lines. And it's unfortunate unfortunate i don't necessarily

agree with it but there are people who are just who are who are doing that so that is a choice that she is making and that you have to in a way hold her accountable that is not being a friend like fine if she wants to set a boundary for herself it's just like i'm literally only going to associate with people who have the same beliefs as i have and and she feels like that, if she wants to set a boundary for herself, it's just like I'm literally only gonna associate with people who have the same beliefs as I have and she feels like that's what she needs to do to protect herself and her beliefs, I guess, like that's fine, like it's not the life for me, but that is a choice that she is making.

I mean, I just don't think you should keep begging. And at the same part, like if that is what that text is about, that's also kind of disrespectful to you and him and the relationship i mean now she is assuming that you might not be safe because he has different beliefs than you i think you might need to cut that friendship off as hard as it sounds but it just sounds like it's one-sided and you deserve better as a friend well and that's the thing too like i know you keep saying, like, you miss the friendship. I think you're missing what sounds like a really the good times. But it's been almost a year of you continuing to reach out and try and save this and you're not getting the effort from her. So at this point, you know, you've done all you can do, but you're not going to necessarily miss feeling the way you're feeling right now. You're not going to miss why you called in. You're thinking back to like the really good times. why you called in you're thinking back to like the really good times if we're right then she's pretty hardcore and if she's hard especially if she's going to call you out you said yeah she's

pretty hardcore yeah she has that personality we're really getting to the bottom of this yeah i think if you do talk to her i think you should be less work like, I think you kind of go about it with, like, nothing to lose. And I think if you do talk to her, you become a little bit more assertive and with expectations of getting out information. Because it seems like up to this point, she's kind of been the power player and you've been a little bit more like submissive and demure and hope and trying to avoid upsetting her for fear of pushing her further away. And I think if you get on the phone with her, I don't think you should like be rude or anything, but I think you'd just be more direct and about like the answers that you want to get rather than worrying about saving the

friendship. And if the friendship means anything to her, I think you being respectful and direct will get her to come around. But like this whole, like, I miss you, please like me and be my friend clearly hasn't worked. And she's, it's not like, so I think. And you've already mourned the friendship. So whether you're kind of like at this point, if you lose her

or not like you're gonna be okay and also like you can't be friends with someone who's not gonna at least respect you and your choices and they don't have to agree with everything you do but this friend we assume and this you know we might be wrong we assume that they are making like judgments about you without all the information you know like she's assuming that your partner while maybe different beliefs that you have is like somehow brainwash you and you were incapable of making your own choices you know which is that's like think more of me friend i wouldn't fight anymore if she check in one more time hey what's good for you this week to check in and if she doesn't then i think you mourn the loss like you said and and move on but

um friends can come and go and they can have like not not all friends are meant to be lifelong friends and you can still value the friendship that you had with her. And it could have outgrown itself. And she could definitely be someone who like, is not good to have in your life right now. I needed to hear all of that. Nick, you're good. I need to start listening to your podcast. I'm gonna call you with some you. So try that. Try that. Okay. Okay. Hey, just checking in.

When works best for you this week to chat? Should we give it a minute? Maybe she'll write back. Did you send it? I did. I sent it. Well, thank you guys. I really appreciate it.

My pleasure. Best of luck. Best of luck. Thank you. I'll let you know how it goes. All right. Thanks a lot. Bye-bye

all right adrena thanks for coming this was fun you guys yeah it's a ton of fun yeah uh please let my audience know where they can follow you uh where they can buy your book uh well you can win your podcast when it comes out yeah so my book choices to the hills and back again um that comes out July 26th. But you can go on my… Do you pre-order now? You can pre-order now. You can go to my Instagram, Audrina Patridge.

There's a link or it's Amazon, Target. It'll be at Barnes & Noble. Like wherever you can buy a book, it's going to be. And then as far as the podcast, Was It Real to the… I get these two confused. Was It Real, The Hills Rew rewatch so the hills and back again yes that's the other one the podcast airs July 12th and that's with Frankie and Brody give us a percentage the hills was 60 real it's so hard to say I can't because a lot of it was real in the

emotion but then it was very guided and improv acting and like manipulated and editing. Real-ish. Real-ish. That's my answer. Okay. Thank you guys so much. Thanks for coming. Thanks for listening, guys.

Don't forget to send in your questions at asknickatcastme.com. Cast with a K. Next week, slightly different week, holidays. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, not Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. You won't want to miss it. Bye. Wait, this is probably one of the best podcasts I've done so far. Yes, I'm sorry.