The Viall Files - E459 Going Deeper with Wells Adams - Wedding Delays, Kim & Pete Breakup plus Pete’s Next Girlfriend?

Episode Date: August 10, 2022

Welcome back to The Viall Files, Going Deeper edition! Today we are joined by Host, Podcaster, and Bachelor Nation’s own, Wells Adams! On this episode we dive deep with Wells and talk to him about being engaged for years because Covid caused wedding delays, the biggest joys and stresses in planning a wedding, the scoop on the upcoming season of Bachelor in Paradise, and Wells’ new cooking show on Hulu about pizza. We then spill the tea on some pop culture topics and break down the Pete and Kim breakup, Kanye’s controversial meme, and who we think Pete should date next. We also talk about Frank Ocean selling a c*ckring for $25,000, if body count matters, and Jennifer Coolidge getting a lot of action after her role in American Pie. We then welcome on our Texting Office Callers to help give them advice with formulating a message. Our first caller worries about a guy that seems to have ghosted her, wondering if a potentially awkward situation while hooking up may have led  him to lose interest. Now she wonders if him being judgmental may be a red flag. Our next caller wonders if she should try to repair the relationship with her boyfriend’s brother after the brother sends our caller an apology two years after a fight. Seemingly like he’s done work to improve himself, she wonders if it’s worth having the conversations to restore the relationship and how she can get more support from her boyfriend in this situation.  “He gives hope to a lot of skinny funny guys!”  Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to [e-mail] to be a part of our Monday episodes.  If you would like to get some advice on Office Hours send an email to [e-mail] with “Office Hours” in the subject line!  Be sure to check out my sports radio show Fandemonium, Wednesdays @ 3PT / 6 ET  on Amazon's Amp app.  Click the link to download Amp using my code NICKVIALL https://apps.apple.com/us/app/amp-host-live-radio-shows/id1586403838 Pre-Order Nick’s Book: https://www.abramsbooks.com/product/dont-text-your-ex-happy-birthday_9781419755491/ Check out our new "Introvert" merch at http://www.viallfiles.com today! THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: Betterhelp: Our listeners get 10% off their first month at http://www.BetterHelp.com/VIALLFILES. Care/Of: For 50% off your first Care/of order, go to http://www.TakeCareOf.com and enter code viall50. Wondery: Listen to EVEN THE RICH on Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free by joining Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts or the Wondery app. Episode Socials:  @viallfiles @nickviall @wellsadams See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

what's going on everybody welcome back to another exciting episode of the vilefiles going deeper edition i'm your host nick joined by Allie and Amanda. How is everyone doing? How are you ladies? What's going on? It's going well. Going well. Been going great. I've been watching a lot of the show Old Enough, which is this adorable show where toddlers run errands. I love that show.

It's awesome. Not familiar with it. I just started watching Blackbird. If you watch Old Enough, you will have kids. Right? Shanti does. The second you watch Old Enough, you will impregnate Natalie. What's it on?

What's it called? It's on Netflix. And it's- They task two or three-year-olds to walk to the supermarket and get four things and come back. To run errands for their parents. It's so cute. If you want to feel good, mindless TV. I don't know that it's mindless.

Maybe it's mindless, but it's certainly full of heart. Okay. I don't mean mindless like- It's easy watching. Yeah, easy watching. Easy watching, good for the soul, happy, positive. It rocks. Well, I've been watching Blackbird.

It's not positive or easy for the soul, but it's really good. And it says inspired by a true story, which I think is a step below of based on a true story. My favorite is inspired by actual events or something. Interesting. It's really good on Apple TV, Blackbird. If you like a good murder mystery kind of serial killer kind of stuff. Well, speaking of someone who is definitely not a serial killer, Wells Adams. Do we know?

I mean, how do we ever really know? I just feel like he's the most positive vibe person. He'd make a great serial killer. Wells Adams. Do we know? I mean, how do we ever really know? I just feel like he's the most positive vibe person. He'd make a great serial killer. I don't think he'd be a serial killer. Oh, you'd never suspect. You'd never suspect. He'd be amazing at it. He just talks about joy all the time. You could run into him, blood on his hands, leaving the scene of a murder and you'd have a very pleasant small talk

conversation and forget anything happened. Well, Wells Adams is with us to talk a little wedding stuff. A little bit of paradise tea. A little paradise. It's always fun to catch up with my dear friend, Wells. And we talk a lot, so maybe we should just get into it. Don't forget to send in those reviews if they're

five stars. Honestly, only if they're five stars. Send in those questions at asknickatcastme.com. Cast with a K. For all you sports fans out there, another episode of Fandemonium is out today live at 6 p.m. on AMP. Go ahead and download the AMP app. Link in bio. It'll be in our show description, all that fun stuff.

I post about it every Wednesday. And we'll once again be talking all things training camp, NFL, news, all that fun stuff. So join us. All right. Well, let's get to Wells Adams. Wells, welcome back.

Thanks, man. How are you? I'm doing great. I'm really pumped that you're in a different location because it's closer to my house. Yeah. So, you know,

as long as it's, conducive to you. For my happiness. That's all that really matters. we're like minds in that way. Yeah. Yeah. Oh,

you live right down the street from me. So, this is a little bit better for you too. It's all that really matters. We're like minds in that way. You live right down the street from me, so this is a little bit better for you too. Well, it's about the same, actually. Because although I live close to you, I was more in the direction of the older studio. Yeah, I hear that. But you can get stuck going up that hill

past Hollywood Bowl, I feel like. I'll be bad. I haven't seen you in a while i know it's been a really long time and i feel bad because we keep on being like we need to get together we need to get together and you plan the double date which we had to cancel yeah i know and then but we'll get that's on you that is on me so i'm a good friend yeah just so you know what's new uh i got a new show coming out on hulu on september 19th called best in dough that i'm hosting and it's a competition pizza competition so have you ever been to i tried to get you to

come to pizza we we order it often yeah so there's a restaurant in la called pizzano which is really great and so i did this show with the the head chef uh over. His name is Daniele Uditti. And basically, it's a show about pizza makers going against one another for cash prize and gifts and stuff. And it's like kind of similar to a lot of other cooking shows that you've seen where like there's wacky challenges and make them do things out of the box. But at the end of the day, it's like one big pizza party. And we filmed 10 episodes in 10 days and it was the most fun i've ever had in my entire life and i saw the first episode and i've gotten the trailer and it looks so fun and so i really hope that everyone goes and like

watches it before they go to bed and again september 19th on hulu yeah did you get the judge yeah so well i'm hosting it but i'm also one of the judges but uh we've got a fun little wrinkle in this because pizza is for the people uh we have a pizza jury that comes in so they don't really understand like they don't really know what everyone's doing we just give them pizzas and they get to like just say like this one's my favorite this one's my other this one's my second favorite or whatever and so if there's ever a tie the pizza jury's vote is the is the tiebreaker so but it's really it's not like you know some cooking shows the judges can be mean and like you feel bad for the cooks for screwing up or burning something it's not like that it's like very positive um and also like

there isn't a pizza show which which is, I can't believe. There's like, is this microphone cake show? But there isn't a show about pizza. Has it changed your perspective on pizza? Well, yes. We bring in people who are not pizza chefs. We bring in Michelin star, James Beard award- chefs that like don't do pizza and make them do it. And like their take on pizza is completely different from like, you know, known us from like the old country who make pizza like the authentic way.

Or like kids that are in college who like make pizza, you know, in their microwave and like do. So I think what I learned is like, one one there's like a million ways to skin a cat there's like so many different ways to to enjoy pizza and like everyone you can be from like anywhere in the world and still have like your slice of pie and that was really really cool i want to make you my pizza and see what you think i have a pizza oven now daniele gave me a pizza oven so i want to build one in my bag Yeah Well I like a

Like a Gosney one So anyways come over We can try stuff out Yeah Alright September 19th Hulu What's in the name of the show? Best in Dough

Best in Dough Yeah Check it out Let's see I've been engaged for three years You have For 84 years The wedding is coming up-ish.

It's coming up-ish, yes. You'll be in attendance. Yeah, I can't wait. I got a suit for it in Paris. Yeah? Oh. It's nothing super fancy. It was on sale.

That's good. It was the Koopals. Are you ever going to wear your suit from Ben Higgins' wedding again? That is my biggest regret. What happened? I was shocked you didn't just re-wear it to his. Because it was a stupid move.

Ben's wedding was the first going out event of the pandemic, right? I hadn't played dress-up in a long time and I was like, you know what? I'm going to treat myself to a really nice suit. So we went suit shopping and I splurged on this Dolce & Gabbana suit.

Great, but like like it's got a it's very it's pinstripe. You can't it's this it's a it's a statement piece. Yeah. And you can't really wear that. Unless you're in the mob. All the time. Well you just can't wear it to like Wells it's not like I bought a navy

suit that like you could wear a different shirt and a different tie and totally style it and I spent all this money. Yeah. A lot of money and it's on a suit that like you could wear a different shirt a different tie and totally style it and i spent all this money yeah a lot of money and it's on a suit that i after i was like why did i fucking lie i can't i can't do that it's funny so you bring that up sarah's got like seven wardrobe changes for this wedding like it's like it's a whole thing and i have one suit um and so we were going back and forth whether or not i do the tuxedo or like a regular suit and i'm spending the most i've ever spent on clothing on this suit like this is more like my first car was right and you know my friend who like is my stylist i'm doing air quotes because

she's usually my friend that like helps me out but she's like you need to have you should have a tuxedo like no i want, no, I want a good suit, black suit that I can just continue to wear. I'm spending this much money. I'm going to keep on using this. Like this isn't going to be a one deal thing. Every time I look at my closet and I see it, I'm just like,

I just, I want to wear it again. It's really beautiful, but it's just, it's very, it's a statement piece. But anyways, I'm looking forward,

the suit I got for your wedding, I can wear. Can you give us a tease about what we're going to be looking at? It's a blue. It's a light blue. It's a... Light blue? Not light.

No, I'm sorry. It's a... A midnight blue? Like lighter than navy, but still dark? Yes. I think that's midnight blue. Yeah, it's lighter than navy, but still not light blue. I got it from the Kooples, which is a Paris brand in Paris.

Don't know what I'm wearing it with. Haven't gone that far. Like shoes-wise? Shoes or like a tie or colored shirt and maybe even bow tie. I don't know. Speaking of Paris, I definitely thought you were going to come back engaged.

Didn't we all? It's not my style. Yeah, not the most romantic city in the world. Why would you do that? No, I knew he wouldn't though because he wants to be able to go back to it easily for anniversaries he said this before smart i want to be able to revisit the place park i got engaged yeah i hear that how was you meant you joked about the long engagement what and obviously covid played a huge role in that but nevertheless like people have had long engagements. Was it ever stressful at times?

Did it ever kind of get in your guys' head like being engaged so long? Or was it just like, hey, you know, shit happens, we roll with it? Or do you have advice for people who get engaged and have an unsuspected long engagement? Well, I mean, ours was completely controlled by the pandemic i mean we got we originally got engaged in july of 2019 we were going to get married on 8 8 2020 wow yeah and sarah posted a picture today because today actually is the anniversary of the day that we were supposed to get married the first time uh so she was like would have been married for three years or whatever whoever it is uh today but you know coming soon or whatnot and then we were supposed to get married july 31st of 2021 then again covid was like you're

not doing that and then now we're at this year and i will say that like for a lot of people i assume it could have gone one of two ways for you either you're engaged and you're it's quarantine and you're on top of one another and like you fucking can't handle it and it ends or you're like wow if we can get through this like the rest of life is going to be super breezy because you know it was tough we were like living on top of one another, you know, like she would be out in the pool house and I'd be in the theater room, you know,

like it was really tough there for a little bit. But anyways, no, like I think that we've, we, we discovered that like, I got your joke. But I think we realized that like,

if we can make it through this, we can make it through anything. And so, yeah, I'm so excited. I'm freaked out about monkey pox. Like if that takes us down for the third time, like, I don't know. I don't. I know it's another joke.

I don't think monkey pox is going to take down our wedding for the third time. People are getting very serious about it. Oh, I know. It looks scary. You've seen pictures? It's not fun. I don't want to get

Anything that involved the word lesions is a really scary disease. Well, the other thing is they've done a good job of branding this one. You know? Like, monkeypox

sounds terrifying. It sounds like something out of, like, biohazard level number five, like, outbreak, like, don't want it. You know? Yeah.

Like, they didn't do a good job with polio because that doesn't seem that scary, you know? Yeah, that sounds like a sport you play at a country club. Is this a water sport? Yeah. Oh, it't do a good job with polio because that doesn't seem that scary. You know, that's like- Yeah, that sounds like a sport you play at a country club. Is this a water sport? Yeah.

Oh, it's a deadly disease. Why don't I get to go? Yeah. Do you guys need therapy? I for sure do. I think we all know that. Well, we are advocates of taking care of your mental health on this show.

And it's always can be a challenge to find the right therapist. Certainly there's costs associated with that. Well, BetterHelp is trying to make it easier than ever before. And they're doing a great job of that. You can use BetterHelp from the comfort of your home and they try to make it as affordable as ever.

And the best part is, is that they make it super easy to connect with the therapist that is right for you. Because so much about like finding good therapy is just, you know, finding the right therapist to connect with. Personality types, you know, you just want to vibe with someone

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if you're listening to this show, you've ever, you know, maybe you've thought about therapy. Maybe it's like, I've always tried it. Why don't you just give BetterHelp a shot? You might be pleasantly surprised. And sometimes when it comes to therapy, it's just getting over that hurdle of just trying it out for the first time. And then you might find that you really find it beneficial.

Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash vile files. That's better, H-E-L-P.com slash V-I-A-L-L-F-I-L-E-S. Well, there's vitamins out there and we all take, you know, a lot of us take vitamins, but we're all made differently. And wouldn't it be nice to have vitamins that are made for us? Well, that's where Careof comes in. It's a subscription service that ships high quality personalized vitamins, supplements, and powders conveniently to your door every month. Care Of's convenient individual packets make traveling super easy.

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the best part is they've been helping me stay more consistent with the vitamins I take. Because before Care-of, I would just... You're like, try a little bit of that. I'd be on these vitamin kicks and I'd get off. You're like, here's a generic multivitamin. Some fish oil. Yeah. Should I be taking fish oil? Yeah.

Well, with Kero, I feel like I'm being responsible. Well, so right now you can get 50% off your first Kerov order. 50, half off. Just go to takecareof.com. That's T-A-K-e-c-a-r-e-o-f.com and enter code v-i-a-l-l-50 that's v-i-a-l-l-5-0 for 50% off your first care of order again go to take care of.com and enter code v-i-a-l-l-0. So anyways, no, I'm super pumped that this thing's gonna be going down.

I do wish we had done things differently. Like, it's been so long now that I do wish we had gone to Paris, taken like 10 friends, and just knocked it out. Because what's funny

about getting married is you're doing something for everybody else. It's much like a bachelor party or a bachelorette party. Like, you're planning something for all of your friends. know like they're going to get fucked up they're going to get lap dances or what you know they're going to do all those things on your bachelor party and

you're going to be the good boy or whatnot uh and it's the same thing again for this wedding is i feel like we're we're doing all this stuff so everyone can have a great time uh i mean obviously we'll have a good time as well but it seems a little bit for for everyone else have a great time. I mean, obviously we'll have a good time as well, but it seems a little bit for everyone else. Have you and Sarah had conversations about that and how you're going to try to still enjoy the day? Because I feel like you almost, I mean, I've never been married before,

but I feel like it almost has to be a conversation between the two parties getting married to say, how do we enjoy this day? I've gotten a lot of advice uh from people who are married who have like gone through it and the couple things that i heard was during the wedding never leave each other's side because you know you got like split up and people be like come with two shots or whatever all of a sudden it's 30 minutes later you haven't seen you know your brand new wife so it's like never uh never separate which i think that's a good one that's good uh the other one is like make sure you take time for yourself so

like so like we'll leave i think after the ceremony we'll leave and you know get away from everybody else spend time with one another probably you know knock some boots who knows what's going to happen you know yeah um and then like come back and and then also and in my nature i'm i'm very like outgoing and gregarious i think i'm at the fight the i need to talk to everybody here thing because like you can't do it there's gonna be way too many people you can't people please that a thing that's supposed to be about you you know like you're yeah you're a social butterfly yeah it's gonna be hard and for sarah too and it's also like a lot of people we haven't seen in a couple years because of the pandemic so we're gonna have to fight that urge and i think that that's what those brunches for exactly for the next day

you know and stuff like that and the welcome party all that kind of stuff so but yeah i'm pumped i'm i'm super excited for it uh and there is something that's like, really, I got to experience it a little on my bachelor party where it's a weird feeling. And it's very like heartwarming to have a lot of people like be there because they love you. Like they want to see like your love and they want to witness that. And that's, I've never felt that way or had that feeling. And then like on my bachelor party, like everyone got up and gave a speech and was like, I'm so happy for you. And like what's going to happen, you know, going forward and all that stuff. And I was like, oh, wow, this is like really sweet.

So it's going to be like that. But like on steroids with 200 people or however many people there, you know, all like so happy for us. So, you know, I'm excited. I can't wait. Yeah. It's going to be fun. Is there like an element of wedding planning that you think of the most that like is the most central of like, or that like is haunting or just like challenging or like, what is the thing of the wedding that you're like, I just need to deal with this one situation?

Yeah. Wedding planning has been interesting because we got like such a great wedding planner, but Sarah is also like very hands-on. So I'm like, why are we paying this person so much money if like you're like taking care of everything you know like sit back and like like we've got someone like doing interior design in our house and sarah's like on in every single email i'm like i thought we were paying this person to like make these decisions for us what's happening so i think a little bit of like you need to take a step back and let people do like their jobs but there's been a lot of really fun things

so like i didn't know that i would enjoy so much. Like the food tasting, banger. Cause like these people are like, they want your business, right? So they have like a little five course meal set up for you. And I mean, and they're trying hard. Are you excited about your food? Yeah. Yeah. I tend to have a rule of never show up to a wedding hungry. Yeah. Just in case. Cause you don't really know what's being served. Well, yeah.

I mean, I have a lot of faith in you, but in general, I just don't go starving. I don't go full. Yeah. But like, just in case. He's got like a power bar in his back pocket. Yeah. A little protein shake. Part of it's me, because I can be particular with certain foods.

But I do feel like yours is going to be really solid. I'm a little bit of a foodie. So if you are wanting like steak and potatoes, like actually we are having steak and potatoes, but they're going to be like elevated. But like that part was really fun.

And you know, like curating a menu, you know, I was like, these are the things that I love. I want to, I don't know, you don't watch golf,

but there's a tournament called the Masters. And if you win the Masters. And if you win the Masters. I'm familiar with the Masters as well. But like, so you're probably not familiar with this part. If you win the Masters the next year, you have to host the dinner for all the past champions and you get to set the menu. And so it's like a big thing of like, what is DJ going to serve? You know, like he's a simple guy.

Like what is, you know, whoever going to serve? I felt that way. I was like, this is my opportunity. I can serve whatever I want. What's been the most famous dish served at the Masters party? That must be talked about. Well, the last guy who won it, he is from Japan. And they did that nobu cod.

I don't know if you've had that, like the soy honey glazed cod or whatever. It's fire, dude. And so he had that. And then he had like sashimi and everything. And that was like a really different experience there but anyway so i got to feel that that was fun doing the cake tasting similar thing not a big sweets guy but still like i'd like the cake taste yeah that was i love that are you doing fondant or uh i don't you know what i mean i know you're talking about kind of sometimes, I get that visually it's important,

but structurally, it's like that icing that's kind of like, it's like doughy and Play-Doh. It's like how they sculpt things. Ours is going to be, not to give too much away, but it's like rustic looking. Oh, okay. Is there a fruit in your cake? That's a good question.

A compote? We're doing something, I can't say, because Sarah's so pumped about it, because it's like so off the wall. And when we gave it to the baker, she was like, this is so different. I've never had this. So it was Sarah's idea. Yeah, Sarah's because I'm not the desserts guy. She's the baker.

So that was really fun. The band thing's been hectic. Here's the thing. The thing that you spend the most money on besides like the actual venue is flowers. Now, when I think of all the weddings I've ever gone to could give two flying fucks about the flowers. I don't think about flowers. I didn't even know there were flowers. Yeah, exactly. Like there are flowers here. And the worst part is that you just leave and then they just rot the table afterwards. The things that I remember from every wedding is band. Were they awesome? Or DJ, whatever.

Booze. Was it good? Was it flowing? Was it flowing for a while? Food. Food. And then like, you know, back in my single days, like, did I take down a bridesmaid? Whatever.

You know? That wasn't like, man, the flowers coming down that. And the post, like the post-wedding snack. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, don't worry. We've got something good. Yeah. The after party's got a just kiss. Well, I'm excited.

Yeah. You're back from paradise. Yeah. I know you can't share a lot. I just have really one question. Okay. Will the viewers be able to see some redemption stories? And will we be able to see some redemption stories and we'll be able to see some fall from graces.

Once we're popular, the traditional, what really gets the people, viewers of Paradise excited, where you get to see some new sides of people. Yeah. Yeah. Story arc, if you will. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, on all accounts.

It's funny, this is so different from years past because usually we would start filming about halfway through the season of The Bachelorette while airing. So I would watch while we were filming so I could get like a grasp of these guys. This is different. I went and filmed an entire season with a bunch of guys that like I didn't. You never met or seen. And I didn't know like, so what was you like? What happened with you? Like, oh, you're you did what happened with you like oh you're you

did this on you know you were the bad guy like you know and they all sugar-coated if they were the bad guy or whatever or the villain if you will so it was interesting i really went in there with like eyes unclouded and just had like no no bias at all the season's really good it's it's kind of bonkers like abc ordered a lot 13 more hours than when we have done in the past so it's like six more episodes depending on how they cut it up so it's just a lot and so i think because of that because our our shoot schedule didn't get longer i just think that like all the things that in the past would have would have been left on the cutting room floor will now be in the show.

And that's usually like, that's where I live. Like when they're like, you need to go do this like weird reenactment or like puppets need to happen, you know, all that kind of stuff. So I'm excited for that. But we do all the things that you want to see. Like there's a lot of crying. There's a lot of sweating and yelling into the ocean. There's a lot of crabs. And then there's a lot of sweating and yelling into the ocean. There's a lot of crabs. And then there's a lot of love.

And, you know, there's some really beautiful stories at the end. And like what you want to see is the falling from grace. I predicted long ago a Sinead redemption story. Because I took a lot of heat for suggesting that she isn't Satan. I haven't met Sinead. I don't know anything about her i just know that sometimes as edits go they can be did they release if some of the people that are going to be there i don't think we can confirm anyone yeah i will say i was the same way about

janae i was a huge fan of janae i just know she got a lot of heat some of criticisms she deserved but there didn't seem to be any grace at all. And towards Tell-All last season, you saw all these other women kind of what I thought was they were kind of bullying her, but she was so hated by Bachelor Nation, they seemed to get away with it. And I'm curious how things will play out in Paradise for her and say people like, well, let's say if Genevieve goes, I'd be curious how that plays out as well. You need people like Sinead.

Like you need, like the show would not be interesting if everyone was nice, you know? Yeah. And so like, I remember when they were getting rid of Sinead, and that actually, it was that beautiful, like Genevieve, Sinead moment where she was like, I'm acting, like, what are you talking about? Like genevieve had that great like reaction and i was like do not get rid of cheney because if she leaves i got nothing left to live for here like i love this

chick she's always stirring up stuff and i know that that's probably not the right way to look at it but as someone who has to live with these people and and be entertained for an entire summer i want people that like cut it up and like, we'll, we'll do what you need them to do is which make a fun TV show. So I hope she shows up and I hope she has a redemption story. All right. All right.

Uh, shall we get into some pop culture? I think the, the thing on everyone's minds, the Kim Kardashian, Pete Davidson breakup. Wells, how did you feel about the relationship as a whole?

We need to know where you're coming from as we discuss this latest update. Does this doubt your relationship? Are you feeling shaken? Your core? If they can't make it, then who can? Sarah, call it off! I wonder if his contract with Keeping up with the Kardashians just expired.

And like, that's how breakups happen in that family. That's a joke. I don't think that's happened. The only thing is, is I felt bad because I feel like right afterwards, Chloe stole the thunder from the whole thing of like announcing the baby. No,

I'm pretty sure the baby announcement was first. And then, so people were like, the baby, baby announcement was first. I'm pretty sure like the baby baby announcement was first i'm pretty sure and then so kim and pete stole the maybe chloe didn't want it in the i mean i don't put anything past chris jenner oh yeah she's brilliant yeah yeah it was all nothing nothing's accidental no at least with press releases the big question is do we doubt its authenticity

no pete and kim not at all we don't doubt it no they are in love we're well not anymore we're The big question is, do we doubt its authenticity? No. The Pete and Kim. Not at all. We don't doubt it. No. They are in love. Were. Well, not anymore. Were.

Yeah. Well, I guess the whole thing was that they couldn't handle the long distance thing. What broke them up? He's in Australia. Oh, is he filming Suicide Squad or something like that? Yeah. Yeah, whatever. They both own jets.

Or she does, at least. Yeah. Give me a break. I just don't know where you go from here like for who for pete like is it beyonce no i thought tweet saying queen elizabeth queen elizabeth final fling is he like revive you know ruth bader ginsburg like who can he top you know i'm so glad you said this wells because i saw a tweet that was like, next Pete Davidson, Jennifer Coolidge. And it made me think, there's very few people who it would be surprising if Pete Davidson dated. So I wanted to float some potential couples, see how the room felt about it.

By the way, you bring up Jennifer Coolidge, and I was talking about her on my show. Is it just me, or does Gabby sound exactly like Jennifer Coolidge? Oh my God. You mentioned that. Now that you're saying that, it's like, wow. Wow. Your dog's got brain cancer. Dumbass. I'm eating Rambo. When she says, yeah,

a lot of yes. Yeah. And it got to the point I did Arden's podcast, Will You Accept This Rose? And Steve Heitner, who's on SNL, was talking about, was on Seinfeld, was talking about. He was like, I can't stand it. She says, yeah, too much.

And that's someone who just wants, like, waiting for their turn to talk, which I'm not really sure if that's what's happening. But once he brought it up and I watched the episode, I was like, man, she does say yeah. She says yeah, but I don't think it's her waiting for her turn to talk i think that's her actually listening yeah she's a pretty good listener and i think she's just like like last episode not to get in the bachelor guy but she was like acknowledging what rachel was saying but also being like yeah yeah yeah you don't know if she i don't i don't believe that she's agreeing yeah when she's saying yeah but i believe that it's like yeah yeah her acknowledging that she's listening well anyway she does sound just like jennifer don't forget if you're looking for more amazing podcast quality content check out even the rich

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Listen to Even the Rich on Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free by joining Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts or the Wondery app. Okay, for starters, Pete Davidson and Miley Cyrus. Well, I do a show with Miley's sister, so I would say that's probably not going to happen. Maybe, though. They do their new year's eve show every year i think and also more of like what do we think about them as a couple as opposed to like the grounded feasibility of them getting together if they were to end up together on paper

it looks like they would be a fit both kind of but i feel like they both in their relationship history have sought out people who are like a little more maybe reserved or grounded. Like I think they like being a little edgy. So I don't know if they, if they'd be too similar in that way. Yeah. Okay. Pete Davidson and Martha Stewart.

She hangs out with, she hangs out with that dog. Yeah. I mean, imagine, you know, maybe, yeah,

maybe Pete needs a, well, Kim's older too. Not as old as Martha. No, but like, I was just about to say, you know. Maybe, yeah. Maybe Pete needs a, well, Kim's older too. Not as old as Martha. No, but like I was just about to say, maybe he wants, he should like get a, date an older woman. But he just did. Yeah. I mean, just imagine like the post-sex breakfast in bed that Martha could bring.

It'd be fire. It shows up. It's like a joint. Well, there's a picture where. If a button fall off, no problem. Yeah, I got that. well there's a picture where button fall off no problem yeah i got that uh there's a picture where pete is like being being held by martha stewart like and it looks like well this is next i don't know true okay who else would be a good one you got any other ones what about pete davidson and

doja cat not big enough doja cat's not big enough? I think we got to go bigger. I mean, Kim Kardashian, she's like the biggest star on TV. Ariana Grande, Kim Kardashian. Yeah. His roster is too impressive.

Okay. Meghan Markle. Yeah. Please don't break them up. That one works. No. That one works. That one checks. No, absolutely not. Or just the queen. That's what I said. Queen Elizabeth. They works. That one checks. You think that's next? No, absolutely not.

Or just the queen. That's what I said. Queen Elizabeth. Yeah. Did I find a little fling now that Phillips? If they don't work out, guaranteed to date Pete. Meghan. Meghan Markle?

Yeah, if it doesn't work out between her and Harry. I feel like she's pot committed. They're happily committed in Santa Barbara. Oprah? What about Oprah? Oprah. All right. Is she not with Stan? She's still with her long-term partner.

Stetson? Stetson? What if you send Pete an invitation to the wedding and just say plus one and we see who he brings? I mean, I like that idea. I have met him, so. Throw him an invite. Yeah, why not? What were your impressions of him?

He's very tall. Maybe like Paul Rudd. What? If Pete dated Paul Rudd. Yeah, he needs like a nice, stable, grounded kind man

who makes him laugh though. Yeah, exactly. I mean, they'd be a cute couple. They really would be. Also him and John Mulaney. You know, John Mulaney's Joker,

he's like, they always, I look like Pete Davidson's lawyer whenever we hang out. But I think, I feel like he needs some balance. He needs some consistency.

Yeah. He needs someone who he can be the fun one with Howie Mandel but maybe Pete just needs I mean if he's hurt do we know who ended it? I know they probably said

it was amicable or they just blamed distance yeah I think it was sort of like a fizzle out situation I feel like it would've been Kim it's blaming distance I feel like it's Chris

you've been Chris she FaceTimes both of them and says, okay, I've done the math. I got some schematics. I looked at the numbers, and it's time to end this one. So wait, Ariana, she broke up with Pete. Yeah.

Kim broke up with Pete. We don't know. We're speculating. Who else did he date? He dated the... Kyla Gerber. Beckinsale. Kate Beckinsale.

That was a good one. I think she broke up with him too. Is that his storyline? Is he the guy? Is he Ben Higgins? Is he unlovable? Speaking of, aren't you on TV with Ben right now? I think it's...

Soon, right? I think it would have been yesterday. Yeah. Joe McHale's new show. Was that fun it was a lot of fun yeah yeah

go check it out Celebrity Beef on E I'm just over here doing promo for Phoebe from Bridgerton Olivia O'Brien really

yeah he did Olivia O'Brien well Olivia O'Brien claims that she and Davidson dated in October 2020 I might believe her

you think she's lying? Well, this is what the article said. How old is she? Billie Eilish. Oh. Oh. That, for some reason, that feels really compelling. Yeah?

There's something about that pairing that feels like really, really, like, it's like I can both picture them together, but also can't at all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there's something kind of like... She's young though. She's 20. I know. She's 28.

What about Olivia Rodrigo? How old is she? Like four. Yeah. I think she's like also about the same age. Yeah. Okay.

I'm just trying to think of like the biggest pop stars. Yeah, like a really earth shattering... She's 19. We can't set them up with teenagers. Yeah.

No teens for Pete. Well, okay. Additionally, in talking about the breakup, Kanye West very recently posted it on Instagram. Yeah, like this morning. Yes. It's a falsified New York Times cover that says Skeet Davidson dead at age 28.

I think the thing that we need to call attention to is the subtitle, which was Kid Cudi meant to play at funeral but fearful of bottle throwers oh that's funny it's kind of funny but it's just like what a response to like your ex breaking your ex's most recent breakup i just like that kanye owns his pettiness yeah it's a little on the nose though it's like it's It's like the new stepmother who's mean. Yeah. The ex-husband.

We get it. Yeah. He's supposed to act as if he doesn't care, but he's like, no, no. I'm going to use my massive platform and let everyone know I'm really excited about this. And I fucking hate this guy. And I kind of respect it. Fuck you, kid. Cut you all right. Yeah.

I kind of respect it. And also, fuck you, kid, cut you all right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you done anything super petty, either after a breakup of yours or after your ex had another breakup, any kind of misfortune? Have you said or thought anything petty? Thought?

Sure. Any zingers that are coming to mind? No. I got nothing. Okay. I'm a great guy. Very pure people. Mm-hmm.

What about Pete Davidson and Taylor Swift? Like America's sweetheart. America's Pete-heart. Taylor, isn't she like... Yeah, we're taking current relationships aside. We're just... Yeah. As it relates to Pete Davidson,

current relationships are no matter. Well, if anyone can break up anybody, it's Pete Davidson. It's Pete Davidson. You know? Like, yeah, Victoria Beckham. Yeah. What about one of the the

women of the u.s national soccer team oh uh like um alex morgan yes she's hot that's what i was thinking of yeah tobin heath stunning maybe likes women you know who's uh who's playing uh uh marilyn monroe oh anna de armas that's a good one. That's her piece. I could see that. I actually saw that in the car and then was like, for some reason, it was like hard no. I cannot see them together

as a couple. They both seem like, you know, Hollywood's like most eligible sexy people. Yeah. But they seem sexy in entirely different ways.

No, you don't want to be sexy the same way. Yeah. I would argue that they're sexy in contradicting ways. How so? You need to explain yourself. Yeah. What does that mean? You could just say it. I would argue that they're sexy in contradicting ways. How so? You need to explain yourself. Yeah.

What does that mean? You could just say it. I just mean that I think she is beautiful in a very airbrushed, polished kind of way. And I think he's beautiful in a more raw, authentic kind of way. I think you're selling her short. But also, you could call Kim Kardashian the most airbrush most air brush yeah yeah it's it's her eyes it's that you know it's that she's like pure and like that she has this like nymph like quality you know it's like if she's in a forest she's the fairy if in the forest he's doing drugs in there yeah yeah got it that's my only point. But I back down.

We are excited to find out what's next for Pete. I mean, if nothing else, just like slow clap for Pete that he has been able to do what he's done as just like a really good stand-up comedian. The fact that he's been able to take down this much top tier bootay is just amazing no he's not it is i mean it's it's impressive he's got something it gives hope to a lot of skinny funny guys well and it's like you're saying that you've had like relationships with ariana grande and kim kardashian all these other famous people by the time you're 28, like how? Yeah, I know. What a legacy. That's insane. He should be on the 30 under 30 list for that. He should be on the cover.

Do you think he settles down ever? Yeah, because he said he wants to be a dad. Yeah, he wants to have kids. That's awesome to think about him as like a girl dad. That makes me like really happy. He'll be like MGK girl dad. Good girl dad. do you think he regrets these tattoos though because he got like kim's like my girl's a lawyer tattooed on him and

i think he has so many that's it doesn't matter doesn't matter and it's easy to cover up with another tattoo if you got a tattoo for someone and then you broke up would you get it removed i mean probably i mean it's hard to... Why did you just look at your arm? I mean, I don't know. I just have tattoos, but I guess it just was a... Is there one in mind? No.

I just, I guess, I was just kind of picturing where I would put one. Yeah. I suspect, yeah, I would cover it up. Out of respect for, like, the new person in your life. Oh, totally. You know? Yeah. Just keep adding.

I feel like there's very few endings to the sentence, my girl's a, that isn't pretty funny. Like, my girl's a surgical technologist. Yeah. That's so funny to me. My girl's a lawyer. Okay, so do we want to talk cock rings? Yeah.

What? Well, as our producer sent along, Frank Ocean is selling a 25K cock ring, and that's because it's solid gold and is it sizable? size adjustable? I got a feeling that Frank Ocean and myself are two different sizes

it's called the XXXLH bone ring that's extra extra extra large you just assume he has a giant penis? I just assume that I don't. So, you know, that just sounds like a bracelet. You know?

An anklet. Like a gold, like, Cartier bracelet. I'm curious what the appeal of cock rings is. What does a cock ring do? That's the question. I think it makes you hard. I think the question. I think it makes you hard. Does it like... I think there's a constriction element.

I want to go home. Does it go under the balls or on top of the balls? No, it doesn't... Definitely. I feel like it's on the bottom of... It doesn't go... That feels crazy. The bottom of the shaft?

I don't know. How did you get the balls in? One by one, I suppose. What's its intended use? to like make it harder yes i'm i'm googling yeah it's like tension i think i think it's i think it's the constriction yeah um i i also thought it was maybe cosmetic like it was just like a little bit of bling got it for the thingling on your balls. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. So excuse me.

There's also a type of cock ring called a pinot grigio. A pinot scrotal? Pinot scrotal? Pinot scrotal. Pinot scrotal, yeah. Pinot scrotal ring, which can go around the penis and the testicles. Thank you. I knew it existed. You will not.

Your prayers did not go unheard, Roswell. Wells is like, I know it existed. You will not. Your prayers did not go unheard, Ravel. Wells is like, I know it exists. I have one. I'm wearing it right now. Okay, so why people use it. And according to medical news today, greater stamina. So I think it's maybe there's a longevity element. For people who have, for ED, erectile dysfunction,

a cock ring may help because it traps the blood inside the penis. for people who have, for ED, erectile dysfunction, a cock ring may help because it traps the blood inside the penis. And then there's also more stimulation for all hearties. So I don't know if there's like an element of like some people getting like ribbed. Vibrating cock ring? Yeah, I'm sure it's out there.

Yeah, that's a thing. French tickler, I think. Do you think, would you spend 25k on any like sex accessory at all uh i can't imagine that i would if if my sex life was uh at a place where you know maybe things weren't working you know maybe i was experiencing some ed i i suppose and would i invest 25 000 of money assuming i had 2525,000 to invest in? I mean, $25,000 and better sex with your partner is, I think, worth it. Yeah. I mean, is there like a base model, like a $15 one we can try? Because here's my thing. I

feel like the resale value on a $25,000 cock ring is pretty low. No one's going to want to buy that. Yeah. You might have to pay them to take it. Once you drive it off the lot, it probably appreciates it real fast. Well, it's solid gold and it's kind of upsetting to think about someone melting that down

and then it becoming someone else's necklace one day. Actually, you wouldn't want to be like, yeah, this used to be Frank Ocean's coffee. It's actually

Wells' wedding ring that he put on his finger. Back to Jennifer Coolridge talk if we want to. She spoke about after playing Stifler's mom in American Pie, she got a lot of action. Yeah. And I'm curious if there is anybody who like their role in a movie

cemented them as like, like sexualized them in a way that you might not have before. Yeah. Salma Hayek, Desperado. Oh, you had that in the chamber, just ready to fire she was my only

real celebrity crush oh really yeah man i mean that one's so specific because that's like the whole stepmom fantasy that's you know taking over porn right now did she specify uh if it was like younger men that she was hooking up with i think i think that's the implication when i read that article yeah it was definitely the implication um it's also i feel like like og milf role yeah i mean i think they literally coined the phrase yeah maybe it came from the movie yeah i could see stifler saying that there was the quote that she was like, there would be 200 people that I would never have slept with had I not gotten that role.

And so I know she doesn't actually mean 200 people, but if you say like 200, you're talking like- She fucked a lot. Yeah. Yeah, a lot. I mean, that's at least 100. Yeah. You know, cut that in half.

Even if it's 50. And to be honest with you, usually you undersell your number, so it might be 400. That's true. Good for her. But she's saying 200. I have a feeling it's at. And to be honest with you, usually you undersell your number. So it might be 400. That's true. Good for her. But she's saying 200. I have a feeling it's at least 100. Yeah.

I don't know. Yeah. But I think to Wells' point, if you're dating a girl and she says, I've slept with 15, you're like, okay, so you've slept with 25 people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fine. No judgment. You really always assume.

She would have been booked out for years. I think it's assumed. I think men assume that women undersell their number for fear of judgment. Is that considered lying? Yeah. Yes. I understand where the lie comes from. Again, society often will slut shame women for having sexual partners, at least historically.

It's not seen as the same as when guys do it. So I understand where it comes from. But I mean, it's not necessarily like, I wouldn't call it honesty. Sure. How do you keep track of the people, your number? I have a note in my phone. I do too. With like all the names?

No, Natalie's got the same. Girls have that. Women have an actual roster. I have no idea. Because you're a coxswain and you lost track years ago. 200 women. No, I really, my number's far less than anyone thinks.

Really? Truly. But I also like, I'm older and I just like, you know, I have like, have slept with people more than, like I've slept with people that are just my girlfriends. You know what I'm saying? So like, if I took the time, I guess I could sit down, but I haven't like kept a running total. Yeah.

I went through like my contacts lists one time because I feel like if I slept with them, then I definitely had their number and we're dating or whatnot. And so I went and did a rough estimate. And I was nowhere near Jennifer Coolidge post-American Pie. How do you all feel about,

not what number, but how do you feel about your number? Do you have any stories? Stories or like stories isn't like the psychology like therapy term of like, do you have any like meaning that you assign to your number? I just wish I had Frank Ocean's cock ring more often, you know? Absolutely. Really would have done some, people might have hung out with me longer, you know, if I had that. I'm not a, yeah, big numbers person.

I don't really care about my partner's number or vice versa. My number, yeah, it tells an accurate story of, I guess, who I, you know, I was single for a while. So there you go. As long as the number doesn't correlate to you having monkey pox right now, I think that's what's important. Certainly. You know? Certainly, certainly. My ex found the note with my, the list on our anniversary dinner. Really? Your ex? Yeah, my list on our anniversary dinner.

Really? Your ex? Yeah, it was like our anniversary dinner. I don't know. It was like something I gave him my phone. It wasn't like. You're like, what's all these guys' names? Are these names you want to name your firstborn son?

Tell me you had a title for it was like past dudes I found. Okay, actually, so the title is so embarrassing because it's meant to be a total misdirect. Yeah. It's meant to just be like, look like it's a list of songs. So it's called, so the title is Music to Watch Boys Do by Lana Del Rey. Like with the by Lana Del Rey is like literally the title. And somehow, lo and behold. You figured it out?

at the anniversary dinner. Do you have your list divided between the men and women that you've slept with? So no, all one list, but I do have like an honorable mentions section,

which is like we didn't... So you have them ranked? No, no, no. I have honorable mentions, which is like we didn't hook up, but we fooled around. You tickled the balls or something? Ew! Wait, but hold on. If you hooked up, you fooled around. Okay, okay. I mean, we did not have... No, which is like, we didn't hook up, but we fooled around. You tickled the balls or something. Ew.

Wait, but hold on. If you hooked up, you fooled around. Okay. Okay. I mean, we did not have sex. We did not have sex. Yeah. Got it.

Do you guys consider the term we hooked up meaning we had sex? Yes. Nowadays, yeah. I think if you didn't have sex, you need to specify you didn't have sex if you're going to say we hooked up in today's dating climate. Mm-hmm. But but see that's what's confusing to me because you could say we hooked up which to me doesn't mean necessarily that you had sex but if you say we had sex and you had sex i think it's big i think 20 years ago yeah or 15 years ago hooked up you didn't have you couldn't you didn't get to assume but nowadays everyone's fucking and i think you have to be like we

hooked up but we didn't have sex everything's crazy nowadays yeah i do think dr solomon has a line in her book where she's like it's an intentionally vague term yeah because it's sort of so that way you can keep it like depending on the context that you want to share with people you can kind of be a little more like withholding and mysterious about it breaking news tyler cameron and page are no longer dating yeah we got that news like 25 30 minutes ago what happened i don't know he did an interview at the end of july where he was saying all good things he kept it very vague where he was just like we care about each other but we went a separate way step back sounds like it was his call maybe chris jenner was like yeah i've

done the numbers tyler now Tyler now with Kim. Tyler Cameron and Pete Davidson. Well, I mean, didn't Tyler kiss Kim on SNL or something like that?

He was in that sketch. They didn't kiss. Okay, so maybe. Here it is. Here it is. Tyler. You heard it here first.

Is the next Kim Kardashian. I like Tyler, but I don't feel like he is at the level to date either of them. Sure, but, you know. Yeah. Maybe Tyler's just banking on it.

Yeah. Actually, he did date, was it Bella? Gigi. Gigi? I don't know. A Hadid. A Hadid. He went to grandma's funeral.

I know. Yeah. He really. That was lightning in a bottle. Yeah. It really was. All right. Texting office hours.

Here we go. How's it going? I'm good. Texting office hours. Here we go. How's it going? I'm good. Thanks for having me. I'm Carly. I'm 23 and I need help drafting a text for a guy that ghosted me. Okay. Well, I guess my first question is, why do we want to text a guy that ghosted you? Well, so some backstory is basically we've met each other. We went to high school together. some backstory is basically we've met each other. We went to high school together. We've known each other for about six or seven years, I think. And we were friends in high school, kind of had a crush on each other. We didn't really do anything about it because then we both got significant others. So like nothing really ever came of it. But then recently I was swiping on Bumble and came across his profile and like pretty casually,

I wasn't really thinking anything would happen. Um, but casually swiped right and messaged him. And so we started chatting and, um, we hung out, we had a great time. We kissed and like, kind of, I kind of felt a spark. So I was kind of hoping something would come of it after that. kind of felt a spark. So I was kind of hoping something would come of it after that. And he had even asked me, like, do you still have a crush on me? Because I still have a crush on you. So I was like, oh, okay, something maybe, maybe what happened here? I don't know. I was I was kind of hoping it would turn into more. But basically, we ended up hanging out two more times after that. The first time was pretty casual. We hung out for like five hours.

It was just very friendly. We went and got coffee and then chatted for a while. And then the second time we went and got drinks and went back to his apartment and ended up hooking up. And then after that, it was like ghost town. Nothing else happened. So before that, he had been like initiating cute text messages and we were just having fun and then after that it was like nothing and you sent all

these texts yeah it seems very outgoing yeah so he had texted me a couple of times like when we were hanging out um he had initiated texts being pretty flirtatious, I think. And then after that, after we hooked up and I didn't hear back from him, I had sent a couple of text messages and it was pretty dry. Do we have any of those text messages that you sent after you hooked up? When I asked, said, Hey, what are you up to? And he said he was going to work. Oh, so he did respond. He did respond he did respond yeah so this was after you hooked up hey what are you up to tonight and he wrote just got off work going to trivia with

some co-workers sorry i've disappeared was moving yesterday and i'm still setting in settling in okay okie doke you right no need to apologize all to apologize. All good. This was a couple of days ago. A couple of days ago. And this okie dokie, no need to apologize, all good, was the last thing you sent him and he's never followed up. Yes. So it's a soft ghost. It was a soft ghost, yeah.

Yeah, he was responding to you. Yeah. Yeah. And did he really move? He just moved apartments. didn't we live in really small towns he didn't move like out of state or anything um he just switched apartments okay i'm comfortable yeah because when when you started by i got ghosted by someone i just wanted to encourage you to move on but i feel like there's it's unclear when you guys hooked up was it like enjoyable or was it awkward

no it wasn't awkward but like it was kind of it was kind of painful and so I wanted to literally yeah like I had I was dating a guy for a really long time and then we broke up and I just didn't want to like do anything for a while after that so this was like my first hookup for a little while. Um, so it just hurt. Okay. And, um, I wanted it to be over pretty quickly and it was, and yeah, I didn't like, I don't think it was after that. It was awkward after that. Um, but like something in his demeanor definitely changed after that. I was like, you can, you can finish. And he was like, okay. And that was that.

But you said it, it was over pretty quickly. Is there a world in which like he's embarrassed for being a two pump chump? Yeah, that's a good question. I mean. I got to say as a guy guy you can finish is not necessarily your favorite thing to hear because it reads with get it over with yeah which i i totally get where you're coming from but i just to wells's point maybe he could be feeling a little emasculated or just not yeah i, like maybe a little rejected in that moment.

What were you going to say? I was just going to be like, I was pretty transparent with him. Like I felt like comfortable being open with him. And I had initially told him I wasn't looking for like a hookup. Like the first time we hung out, he asked me to come back to his apartment. And I said, no, like, I don't want to do that yet. And then so when we did hook up, I like told him after I was like, Hey, that was kind of painful for me. I just want you to know. And so he was like aware, I think, cause I just had told him straight up.

Here's how I felt. How did he handle that? Well, he said after it didn't seem like you were expecting to hook up tonight. And I said, no, I mean, I wasn't, but I felt comfortable with everything. And he wasn't, I don't think he perceived that negatively. I have a question. What do you want out of this? Do you like this guy enough to make the effort or are you just kind of confused at the kind of slight ghosting that's happened? That's a great question. Yeah. Like what specifically is your desire to want to text him? What do you hope to get out of it? Yeah. So I think a little bit of time has passed and I've just sort of been ruminating on this, but like ultimately I would like to

continue talking to him and just kind of see where things go. I mean, I'm not like, I'm not like thinking about the future too far ahead, but I'd like to continue talking to him. But I'm really also just super confused about why things happened, how they happened and why he stopped talking to me. Well, I think you have two options. You could try to send some sort of like pretty basic text to see if he wants to hang out and then if he does hang out have a conversation with him about like what you want or you could try to address this all via text for fear that it might not get that far you know what i'm saying right yeah so far you seem like a very like upfront honest woman and like pulling no punches no bullshit like you told him like hey this one just so you know like that was kind of painful for me or like that was

kind of awkward or whatever and um yeah of course like i wasn't like really sure that we were gonna hook up like you've been very very straightforward it seems to me you should continue that of like hey just so you know like i do want to see where this goes um because i'm interested in like and continue to be blunt because it sounds like that's who you are and i don't think that like having some like quippy fun like text message thing is authentic to you yeah i don't think there's like a i agree with wells i don't think there's a joke you want to like if you're going to text them it would say something like if you want to address it right away it would be something like this it's just like hey i just like uh how's the move going i've really i just wanted to say i've really enjoyed hanging out with you and then say

that and then address the sex or just be like you know i know like we hooked up i wasn't expected it that can sometimes be you know I'm sure both of us, you could just acknowledge the awkwardness, but then say, I'd still really like, I'd still like to hang out with you again because like, I've really enjoyed the time I've had with you. Like throw him a compliment or something. It would be something like that where it's just like, to Wells's point, just address the thing that you're feeling and see if he's mature enough to handle it. Because you don't want to waste your time with a guy who isn't mature enough to like handle this, which a lot

of guys aren't, or a lot of people aren't, you know, unfortunately. Like hooking up can be awkward and weird and like invulnerable. And so like, you should be able to hook up with a guy where you can say that to and him not get weird about, you know, he could be empathetic, be like, you should be able to hook up with a guy where you can say that to and him not get weird about, you know, he could be empathetic, be like, oh, I told like, you know, I don't, you know, not that he understands, but, you know, just try to make you not feel like it was weird for you to experience that. Yeah. So you think I should address the sex in the text message?

I think it's, if you want to. Again, I think you have two choices to either try to just reach out to him and express that you want to hang out with again with a, hey, I've really had fun with you. I'd like to see you again. It could be that simple and see if he addresses it. The only reason, the argument to not do that is that if he rejects you somehow or flakes on you, then will you be left thinking, well, had I addressed it, did that stop the thing from us moving forward? Now, I would just say, listen, you shouldn't worry about that, but that's easier said than done. Do you think that you would ruminate over that if you didn't get to address it right away probably yeah i don't know all the facts but what it sounds like to me is that there's a possibility that the thing that

has pushed him away a little bit is like the acknowledgement of like an awkward hookup maybe okay um and so i think you guys have already gone down that road of like addressing the hookup situation. I think maybe where his apprehension is, is he's not sure if you still want to be in this. And so I would say like what he just said without the hookup talk, like, hey, just want to let you know, like, I've really enjoyed my time with you. It was so much fun. I'd like to keep on hanging out with you, like, insinuating that, like, you want to continue going further. And then see how he responds. If he's like, you know what, I'm really not ready for a relationship, then, like, you've gotten your answer. But I wonder if one of the things that he's having a problem with is, like, the knowledge that, like, he finished quickly and that was a weird hookup i don't know i mean he's got a point you could just you just saying that you want to see him again could be enough for him to convince himself it was fine i mean to that end if it was like if if you hated hooking up with him you probably wouldn't reach out it was just it was

just like naturally awkward. I guess that was my goal, sending the text that said, Hey, like, what are you up to? Cause even though he said like, Hey, I'm busy. He didn't follow up with a like, Oh, but I'm free this time. Yeah. I mean, like, I think it's safe for you to assume that for whatever reason he is not, he has pulled back, you know, he's not excited or, or whatever he is not he has pulled back you know he's not excited or or whatever he is he has definitely pulled back from this situation because that's obvious it's like his his interactions has changed so like you you have to shoot your shot with that knowledge that like there's more uncertainty for you obviously you know right and so you just have to face that reality and reach out to him knowing that you don't know why, you just know that he has.

But to Wells' point, it's probably better to have any conversation around that topic face-to-face and maybe just you putting it out there that you want to hang out with him should be enough, right? What do you ladies think? I feel like it kind of has to be a balance because if you want to see him again, like obviously shoot your shots and the text. I don't think it's like amazing that he's not necessarily like providing other times.

So I just think like it's a proceed with caution situation of like what Nick told me something at one point. He's like, just like flag the fact that this guy has like disappointed you before and he can continue to disappoint you and you have a lot to get to know about him so it's just like i think there's nothing wrong in like trying to see him again and maybe like rewriting some of the bad hookup but or like trying again yeah yeah to that point because we're talking all about this like intersex interaction and maybe we're just making excuses for him yeah there is that you know maybe he's just maybe that's this is what he does we don't know i feel like i have an answer let me know what you guys think here's what i think you should do and we've kind of had a version of this i think

you think of something specific because instead of like hey we should hang out sometime i think you should be like there's this thing i I want you to take you as. We should go do this, whatever it is. Maybe there's a dinner place you want to go. Maybe there's some sort of bar you want to take him, but a specific thing so that he can say yes or no to that specific thing. If he says no, like, oh, I have plans. Don't even pick a date unless you have a specific event. And then if he rejects that like one request then you can throw out this like well i'd love to see you again let me know but like then you've done enough you know does that make sense yeah but i feel like a specific request almost

it doesn't sound like i would hate for you to send that like hey hey it's me. We should hang out again. I think you should almost act as if it's normal for you to text him. You know, like you being like, hey, I have this thing we should go to. And like what day works for you? Yeah, like this almost like, not that you're like shy about it, but like, hey, there's this thing we should go to.

Not would you like to go? I think you should say, we should do this thing together and maybe do that. And like, and then see what he says. If he says yes, then great. And if he says, Oh, I don't know if I can, I'm busy thing. You say, well, I've really enjoyed hanging out with you as a followup to that. Right. I've hung out with you.

I'd like to see you again and balls in your balls in your court. Yeah. I like that. I'll do that. There's a lot going around. Like there's a lot of things to do in our town so that'll be good but the important thing is that first message is not to ask me wants to if he wants to just say we should do this should i say we should go if you're interested or just like we should go not if you're interested we should go we should go do this thing because it's more casual that way it's more casual and you're assuming that he should want to go. Okay.

Yeah, we should go to this. What day next week are you free or something? Or even have it be very specific. Eric Church is playing at the Troubadour on Tuesday. I got two tickets. You want to go? That'd be a lot of fun. And if he's like no, then it's like, all right, well, I've had a lot of fun hanging out with you.

If you want to get together, then balled in your court row. I still think it's the we should go, not do you want to go together, then balls in your court row. I still think it's the we should go, not do you want to go. I just think you should assume, like when you text that, it's like you have the expectation rather than, it just shows to him that you are in control of what you want rather than like, she's hoping I say yes. Okay. And then the follow-up, if he doesn't want to go, could just be the, well, I've had fun with you, balls in your court, let me know if you want to get together. I think you can judge him a little bit for his response for sure. Yeah.

And remember that if he doesn't respond the way you want. Because if he doesn't respond the way you want, then he maybe is just in this very much a fuckboy era and this is nothing that you did. It's just like it was going to happen anyways. Yeah. And these are just excuses you're making for him. For sure. Okay. Because there's no reason why he shouldn't want to go on like

another date. Like you don't just hook up with someone and refuse to like do a follow-up unless you were just like had every intention of just being a fuck boy. Yeah. Which it didn't seem like that to begin with. So. Yeah yeah but so let's get that that's why we're giving him a shot but okay but don't be afraid to like cast him off if as except that except who he is if he shows you that thank you all right goodbye all right let us know thank you i will all right take care bye bye all right bye how's it going hi i'm kelly i'm 29 years old um so the goal of this text would be potentially to remedy my relationship with my boyfriend's brother okay but i'm still not not quite sure if i want to do that or not. So you're not getting along with your boyfriend's brother?

Yes. Why not? Yeah, why not? A little background. So my boyfriend and I have been dating for five years. And when the 2020 election happened, there was a lot of tension and things kind of exploded. And I was sent quite a nasty text message from my boyfriend's brother, which kind of gave me my first panic attack ever in my life. And so it was pretty traumatic for me. What was in the message? It was kind of attacking me personally and things he felt threatened by me and how I'm not right for his brother. And then he also mentioned a couple sensitive things that I'm slightly insecure about

a little, like how my boyfriend and I started dating. It wasn't necessarily the cleanest of beginnings. There was a little bit of cheating involved which i feel slightly guilty or i feel guilty about and so he mentioned those things so early on you you you you did some wrongs in the beginning of the relationship and he threw that in your face uh yes and this this text was around the election did Is he aware of what your boyfriend voted for? And he blames you for that kind of thing? I don't think he knows who my boyfriend voted for. But we definitely are different in our political beliefs.

He didn't really blame me. It was just like a difference in views, which with alcohol, it escalated. And so I tried to, I knew there was like a difference in views going in and I tried not to talk about it when we went to visit them. And I would physically try to run away and exit their place when the discussions came up. And one time I couldn't run away and it just got really heated. Did you show your boyfriend these text messages from his brother? Yes, I did. And what was his response?

He thought it wasn't right. Well, at first I was having my panic attack when he first walked in. And so he just like held me and calmed me down. He first walked in. And so he just like held me and calmed me down. And then afterwards, he was he didn't think it was he thought it was like beyond rude. And so they him and his brother started like a dialogue about how like that wasn't right. Like you should apologize to her. And the apology never came until about two days ago. So it's been like two years since this all happened. And he sent a long apology text recently, which is why I wrote in because I'm not sure

what to do about it. Because when I first saw the text, my anxiety went up and I was really scared. And then, um, but I sent in the apology message. Uh, do you mind if we read it? Yeah, you can read it. Hey, the way I expressed my feelings was out of line. In no way do I ever expect you to forgive what I said. Uh, I do ask that you allow me to have a relationship with my brother. It's no excuse, but I recognize I had a drinking problem then, and I have since addressed it. I have been sober for one year and one month. Again, this is an excuse, but I do realize it clouded my rational thinking and allowed me to express myself beyond my true feelings. I miss seeing you guys and believe we can be civil and move past the past.

We may not be friends or anything, but believe we can at least be on the same side for my family's sake. If you have feelings or thoughts you'd like to express, I would love to hear back from you. Otherwise, I apologize for the past

and just ask, be allowed to... Allowed to have a relationship with my brother again. Good night. Oh, okay. okay oh i see how it's and he's throwing in exclamation points it was a very good apology uh as far as apologies go and then like the timing of it while two years after the fact i think the the drinking and the

sober element seem to be playing a role do you have any idea of whether he's like in aa or anything like this business sir kind of sounds like like 13th step yeah like he's apology he's he's kind of reaching out to people he realizes he's wronged and making amends i am not sure it's not necessarily relevant but i was just curious the one thing that i i that sticks out in this is it implies that you aren't allowing him to have a relationship with his brother is that the case are you are you like hey listen i don't want you to talk to your brother anymore no actually i it's the opposite i like try to encourage my boyfriend to talk to his brother i've just laid a hard boundary for myself and like I don't want to be involved or I didn't want to be involved in his brother's life at all after that happened

but his brother has two kids so it's my boyfriend's nephews and I'm like you should talk to them you should hang out with them I can see my boyfriend's side where maybe he feels see um my boyfriend's side where maybe he feels like he has to choose a side which i've tried to not make that the case okay but um well listen it was uh i you know before this apology showed up i could see him maybe he i don't know man you could ask him too but maybe he kind of held this really hard boundary that like i you have you know, if you want a relation with me, you have to apologize for what you said and what you did. And until that came, he was kind of enforcing that boundary. What did, what does your boyfriend think of this, this apology?

He didn't really say. We've talked about scenarios where if his brother has apologized, um, that like personally, I don't want to physically go to their place. Like I would like a like middle meeting ground because we used to always have to go to their place to hang out. But he didn't really give me an opinion when I showed him the text message. Okay. Maybe he needs to process it and that's okay. Here's my thought. I don't know if that's a right or wrong answer, but this is what I would do, which is easier for me to say because I didn't experience the past two years. But it was obviously a very gracious text. There seems to be a lot of valid explanations as to maybe why. Again, like he said, doesn't mean you don't have

to forgive him. But I think acknowledging it, that you received it is good. And I think maybe you could write something where you say, first of all, I want to thank you for apology. It meant a lot just to hear that. I'm really happy that you have been able to work on this stuff or you've, you know, maybe acknowledge that he's been working on it sober. If you're not, like, let's say you're just not ready. Like maybe it's just like, which would be valid, right? You, up this wall, you set this barrier, and then he kind of, at his convenience, reached out and apologized. It would make sense that you or your boyfriend aren't just ready to dive back in. And I think that's okay to say. You can thank him for the note and then say, I just want to maybe sit with this for a while. And I think kind of acknowledge maybe

there's hope in reconciliation, but you just need some time to process, but you do appreciate the apology. And then maybe that's a good first step. You're not making any promises. If you want and are willing, you can just, it would be a nice olive branch to offer is like, hey, I'm not there yet. And I still want to process this, but that was, you know, thank you for apologizing. It doesn't mean a lot. Thank you. You know, I'm glad you're working on this. And maybe, you know, in the future, like, you know, after I, let me think about it, we can maybe talk about, and maybe just say like overall, like, unless you disagree, you could say, I hope that we can get to a place in the future where there's a, a, some kind of relationship, you know, you're kind of vague, but like,

assuming that's what you want. Right. Like, I think also he needs to prove to you that he's going to put in the work to, to fix this. Like, this is a great first start. He's cathartic and he's, he's apologizing, but like, this is the first step in over two years where you've had two years to basically like have this wound fester for you. And like, yes, it's a great first step, but like brother-in-law, like you need to, you need to do more to prove that like, I feel comfortable around you and, um, you know, wanting to like re-engage in that relationship. Do you think she should include that in the first text back, or do you think that's something that could be said

in a conversation down the road when they meet face-to-face? I think that's something that you say to your boyfriend, that he's like, hey, listen, she's still really hurt, and you've still got to prove to her. Because here's the thing. This guy's hurt because his relationship with his brother is now non-existent, right? So that's where the crux is. And I can totally relate to this.

My family is completely split politically, and it's been an absolute nightmare. So I really understand where you're coming from. He wants to fix this mainly because he wants his brother back, I think. But you guys are a package deal, right? And so for your brother, for your boyfriend to go back and be around the brother, he needs to do work with you. And that's going to take time. And I think that I agree with what Nick said, like, hey, listen, I appreciate that. I need some time to sit with this or whatnot. And then you need to have the conversation with your brother or with your boyfriend to be like,

Hey, listen, I don't want to be the thing that like stops your relationship with your brother. But I understand we, where we can't all be together until like I'm in the room and like going over there and playing with the kids. So you need to relay this

to your brother that he needs to work more with me. That's how I would go about it. I also think it's okay for you to, at some point, I don't know when, and not necessarily a text right away, but it sounds like you really haven't been able to express to him how he made you feel. It's one thing that he apologized and he recognized, but it sounds like he really said some things to hurt you and it stuck with you for a while. And I think you have a right to at least say that to him so that he can hear you and then say, I'm sorry, because he's assuming everything and obviously he sent the text, but I think you would have the right, if you wanted to, to express to him just in fact, how that made you feel when you heard it and the damage it did. And then that's all great.

I just think if this gets to a point where it seems like everyone hopes it can, but there's a lot of justifiable reasons why it might not. But I think there's probably gonna be a lot of conversations that might need to happen. Unless you are certain that you don't want a relationship with him at all i think it would be good to acknowledge that you received it via a message because like a probably you know again i'm not trying to give him any credit but it probably took a lot for him to send that and for you to not acknowledging it would probably hurt his feelings and do some damage again which and if you're not in any way entitled to do that but if unless you're certain you don't want a

relationship i would just send it could be even very brief. Thank you for apologizing. Congratulations on the sobriety. That's a huge accomplishment. I hope that we can find a relationship. I need some time with this. I need to think about this. I never want to come in between you guys. Maybe you could throw that in there because it's not really you. You're the one who's already told him, you know, hopefully this is a first step to healing, but you don't have to make any promises or anything like that. Does that make sense? You know, just.

Yeah. I just worry that even if I say that he's going to want to like hang out immediately, which makes me scared a little. Well, are you comfortable setting that boundary? I mean, like to to Loss's point, your boyfriend needs to kind of step up here and be involved and not leaving it up to you to be the enforcer or the bad guy here.

Like, I think also maybe he needs to hang out with his brother, the two of them, one-on-one. Yeah, like, you definitely deserved the apology from him, but, like, now that I'm surprised to hear that your, your boyfriend was kind of like, you don't really know what his reaction was. Yeah. I think he doesn't like talking about it with me that much because when it first happened, I'm very analytical and I kept bringing it up constantly, which made him not too happy about it. Well, I mean, I think you need to address that with your boyfriend. You guys need to be able to

work through this. It cannot be something you guys just decide not to talk about because it's clearly affecting both of you. I'm on your side with all of this, but families are tricky. And if this relationship with your boyfriend means a lot to you, you're going to probably have to bend a little bit because you don't want to be the sister-in-law that everyone hates in the family. You know, like that's just a tough thing, even though you're in the right, like if this relationship has legs, unfortunately you're going to have to compromise a little bit with this brother. I think, I think, yeah, like the phrasing of maybe like, thank you.

I can see that you put a lot of thought into this apology like thank you for writing this down um congratulations on the sobriety like that's an amazing accomplishment like right now I um still use some space but like I hope you and insert boyfriend's name but like I have made it very clear to like him that like I do I like your two relationships is for you too and like hope that you can re-enter each other's lives and that way it's like at least not like you know you can say i need space but like i'm being nice to you and i'm also saying i like if you fully have my blessing to carry on the relationship with your brother like get back in each other's lives yeah i think that would be solid and also like and i would understand if you can't get there but like and i don't have a lot of experience with but if this person was like

an alcoholic and and and and reacted very poorly to being drunk you know maybe there's a like and i would i guess what i'm saying is i'd understand that like right now when i say you know maybe do this maybe do that you're you're imagining how the person you used to know would react and it might be possible that you know that the person you knew would know would react. And it might be possible that the person you knew, would he write this message? I guess what I'm saying is maybe there has been some growth with this person and giving him a small amount of leash to see if he continues to show that might be a step in the right direction. Yeah. I haven't never really known him sober. direction. Yeah. I haven't never really known him sober. Every time we've hung out, it has been like drinking involved. So yeah, I think it'd be safe for you to, to express like, you know,

it's basically the sum to sum it up. You're gracious for the apology. You congratulate him for the sobriety, but you still have some hesitation and you need some time, but ultimately you don't want to come between him and his brother and his relationship. And, and you need some time, but ultimately you don't want to come between him and his brother and his relationship. And you need to have a conversation with your boyfriend to make sure that you're not the scapegoat for him not to have a relationship with his brother. If he doesn't want to have a relationship with his brother, then he needs to own that and communicate that with him and not let you be the bad guy. Okay i think i could do that i just worry because it's been almost so more than a week since i received the message if i need to like explain why it took

him two years to write you yeah i think you're fine on that yeah it's only been a week and you say listen thank you for the message i needed some time just to think about it and i still need more time yeah but yes i really think I really think, I really. Or if you say like this, I can like, thank you for this message. I can tell you put so much like time and thought into this. Like, I'm like, sorry for the delay or like, don't even need to apologize. But like wanted to put equal amount of like thought into my response. Like that's maybe one way of phrasing it.

I guess what I'm saying is this message came from someone to me. It sounds like has done some work. And either they had someone write it for them, or he really put some thought into improving. So that person should be understanding that you took a week to respond, and you might need a little bit more time before you're ready to pretend nothing happened anymore. And you doing that will be a barometer to see if he is, in fact, if his actions can match this apology. And if you have to then put that boundary right back up, then you can go ahead and do that. Yeah. I like that.

I think, yeah. I feel like I should acknowledge his apology because it was a nice apology. I'm just nervous. I understand. Something tells me you really need to have a bigger conversation with your boyfriend. Yeah. Cause you feel like you're on an Island with this and it doesn't seem, I don't feel like you should be feeling like you're dealing with this by yourself. Well, it's like a reoccurring theme with this particular brother and his family that he makes, like he says some very offensive things and everyone is

normally quick to forgive him because he's family. And I've been the only person that's kind of laid a hard boundary in their family of when this occurred. Totally. Yeah. But to Wells's point, if you want, like it is his family and you know, we all have family where it can be really challenging, but because they're family, we do what we can to at least make sure there's some kind of relationship. So all I'm saying is that you and your boyfriend need to get on some sort of the same page where at least you're aligned or at least understand where the other person is coming from. Because we're asking you a lot of questions you just don't have answers to. And it just seems like you're both handling this brother completely independently of one another. And that just doesn't seem to be like the best way to go about it. All right.

Okay. Well, keep us posted. Good luck. Let us know how it goes. Thanks for your help. All right. Really appreciate it. Our pleasure.

Well, thanks so much. Yeah. Always a pleasure, buddy. Also, let them know where they can follow you, Wells Adams. Yeah, at Wells Adams, like basically on everything. And then your podcast. I got a podcast called Your Favorite Thing Podcast with Brandy Cyrus, and

you can listen to that wherever you get podcasts, and it's just like a fun kind of suggestion podcast where we talk about whatever our favorite things are that week. So like whatever shows we're binging, whatever books we're reading, whatever music we're into. So yeah, there's a lot of negativity in the world. We thought we'd do a show that was just kind of like all things that we love.

I think that's it. Bachelor in Paradise airs a week later on the 27th. And I love you so much. I love you. Good to be here. Can we just spend more time with you? Yeah. Thanks for listening, guys.

Don't forget to send in those questions at asknick at castmedia.com. Cast with a K for all things Ask Nick, whether it's texting office hours, your Ask Nicks, or even your mediations. We're still welcoming those. Thanks for listening,

and we'll see you next week. You're crazy.