The Viall Files - E477 Bachelorette Recap w/ Scheana Shay

Episode Date: September 21, 2022

Welcome back to The Viall Files: Bachelorette Finale Edition! Today we are joined by Scheana Shay of Vanderpump Rules, to dive into the explosive drama of the ending of this first ever double Bachelor...ette season. We kick things off by diving into the situation with Tino and Rachel, breaking down the fight around Tino cheating. While we feel there is no redemption, we wonder if Rachel brought Tino on to try to find a solution or just to yell at him because rightfully so, she’s been hurt. We reflect on the mess of the situation and realize this may have been Rachel’s biggest fear, given a season designed to give constant rejection. We then rejoice in having a happy ending with Gabby and Erich! We break down the texting controversy with Erich and dive into why while his actions weren’t perfect, they serve to highlight how things can change so quickly on the show. We also break down the announcement of the next Bachelor, Zach Shallcross! And we recap all the crazy antics that happened tonight with Zach, with them putting him on the spot to remember names, initial thoughts, crazy facial reactions, and already having America vote on the First Impression Rose. This is an episode you won’t want to miss! So, let’s get into it!  “He lost her respect when he cheated on her” Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to asknick@kastmedia.com to be a part of our Monday episodes.  Pre-Order Nick’s Book: https://www.abramsbooks.com/product/dont-text-your-ex-happy-birthday_9781419755491/ Check out our new "Introvert" merch at http://www.viallfiles.com today! THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: ShipStation: Go to http://www.shipstation.com today and sign up with promo code VIALL for a FREE 60-day trial. Start today and get set up before the biggest shipping season of the year. That’s 2 months FREE. Figs: FIGS believes the awesome humans in healthcare deserve awesome scrubs to match. Head to http://www.wearFIGS.com and use code VIALL to get 15% off your first order. Hungryroot: Right now, Hungryroot is offering The Viall Files listeners 30% off your first delivery and free veggies for life. Just go to http://www.Hungryroot.com/VIALL, to get 30% off your first delivery and get your free veggies. Episode Socials:  @viallfiles @nickviall @scheana See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 What's going on everybody? Welcome back to another exciting and emotional and just tragic Emotional and just tragic episode of The Vile Files. Bachelorette finale recap edition. I'm your host, Nick, joined by Allie and Amanda. And our special guest, Sheena Marie from Vanderpump Rules. Hello. A little reality TV crossover. Yeah, I love it. I've been dying to have you on to recap The Bachelor just in general.
Starting point is 00:00:43 I know you've been a big Bachelor fan for some time. Yeah, I wanted to be The Bachelorette and Brock ruined my dreams of that. Well, I got my happy ending. There you go. There you go. Lots to get into. Before we do, just a couple housekeeping notes. I have good news.
Starting point is 00:00:58 I have bad news. I'm going to start with bad news first. Yeah, always bad news first. We will not be having anyone from Bachelor Nation for Going Deeper this week. Sorry. I feel like there needs to be a live studio and it's being like, aww.
Starting point is 00:01:13 Aww. I know we usually do. We usually have someone coming from the studio. That's not happening this week. However, the good news is, is that, well, the good news is we still have an amazing guest this week. Harry Jowsey is with us
Starting point is 00:01:35 to talk about his new breakup with, new breakup, his breakup. He just broke up with his girlfriend. It's fresh, it's raw. He probably is going to have another breakup. His latest breakup. His latest breakup. His latest breakup. The newest.
Starting point is 00:01:48 But we had a great conversation with him. Obviously, there's also a lot to talk about with the Adam Levine of it all. That drama that has been unfolding, that is still unfolding. We get into that as well as we even tackle the little bit of the love is blind reunion and that whole fiasco so certainly a lot to get into on going deeper this week and then next week on going deeper tino will be with us the exclusive podcast interview wow tino i've been told we will be getting tino for reasons that I'm sure we all understand.
Starting point is 00:02:26 We were told that it'd just be best that maybe we wait, that tonight might be a little bit too much to try to make happen, which after watching tonight, I fully understand. Morgan News, the following week, we will be getting the exclusive interview with Jason. Gabby's Jason. Oh. Yeah, what happened? What was the conversation they had in the fantasy suite why did jason leave what so many he wasn't even part of afr once jason left the show he was just gone yeah but he will be with us
Starting point is 00:02:56 for going deeper not next week not this week but the after. So a lot of all you reality TV fans out there, we are working hard to bring you what you deserve. And when it comes to Tino, so many unanswered questions. You sound like Rachel. What you deserve. Yeah. But yes, we have a lot of questions for Tino. What's one of them?
Starting point is 00:03:22 How dare you? Well, I'll tell you what's one of them. I want to know what this cryptic, you know, when Rachel and Tino were talking, this kind of cryptic, you know, like what they were referring to is when Rachel was like, There are reasons that we were going through it. And we don't want to tell the public
Starting point is 00:03:44 what these reasons are that we were going through it. I mean, we want to tell the public what these reasons are that we were going through it. I mean, we want to know. I don't know if Tina will share. I feel like it has to be intimacy issues. It could be something with family too, though. When she said personal things, his parents didn't really have a liking for her. Maybe that continued to go bad. And Tina did actually say tonight, I don't know if it was the live portion
Starting point is 00:04:05 or it was the recorded portion he's like i really don't want to bring family into this right he did say that okay he said that on the live portion because i was thinking oh because her family's sitting right here maybe that's why he's saying it yeah but he did say that so i guess let's just get into it i also feel like just something else that I plan on asking Tino, and Shino was talking about this earlier, of like, we never got the actual breakdown of the situation with this other girl that he had known before the show. What exactly went down? How did it spark back up?
Starting point is 00:04:36 Exactly. Who reached out to who? Who reached out to who? Did they run into each other at the bar? Did they plan on meeting at the bar? Was there coitus? Was it just making out? You know, we don't really know.
Starting point is 00:04:47 Was it even a makeout? Was it just a kiss and an immediate regret? Was there tongue? Like, you guys gotta get the details. Was it just like heavy breathing? You know, like... Right?
Starting point is 00:04:54 Yeah. Because it never sounds good when the cheater says, it wasn't a big deal. It was tiny. It was tiny, he said. But, I mean, there are degrees. Like, was tiny he said but i mean there are degrees like if if yes there it there are degrees it could be i mean cheating is you know exactly but i mean it
Starting point is 00:05:12 could have been worse but it's still bad it's still not okay it's like some infinities are bigger than others in either way it's wrong it's cheating but i i think if we were all in relationships and we found out that our significant other let's say romantically held hands with someone uh for 10 minutes dead or they had like an orgy two different reactions yeah i want to go through with him and like talk about all the things that were contested between him and rachel on the show and be like what is your take on this why do you think there is this discrepancy in the way that you remember this? Because there was quite, there was so much of it where it just felt like there was a lot of he said, she said, and what did you make of that? It also just felt like their conversation in that
Starting point is 00:05:58 house when they were having the happy couples weekend, it felt like they were just on two different pages. Like Rachel was over here saying, you've never even apologized. Are you even sorry? And he was like, do you even see a future between the two of us? Like it was just, it was all over the place.
Starting point is 00:06:15 But that could also be editing where they had the full conversation, but they're showing one side of one part of the conversation and one side of the other. That tape part was also edited. I'm sure that was an hour. Yeah. Because I know I've firsthand witnessed those type of conversations where I'm like, that's not what that person said then. So hopefully, yeah, like I said, we are told we will have the exclusive with Tino. Hopefully he will shed some light on some of these questions. I guess let's just get into what we think about, obviously, this situation. I mean, there's nothing to debate in terms of what Tino did was wrong.
Starting point is 00:06:59 Right. If you cheat, you cheat. I have very little sympathy for cheaters in the sense that to me, it's a black and white issue, right? Totally. As someone who's been cheated on, you either did or you don't. There's no excuses for it. That being said, I have friends who have cheated. I mean, do I think it's a low character moment for anyone to cheat? Sure. Do I think people can recover? Do I think they can still share their side of the story of why they were in the emotional space? Yes. Does that absolve them for what they did? No. But I think that's where I struggled with this episode. I wanted Tino to get a chance to speak. And that didn't seem like, it didn't seem to me like Rachel was all that interested in
Starting point is 00:07:47 actually hearing what he had to say. I felt like he spoke quite a bit, but he just wasn't really saying anything new. It was like he kind of kept saying the same thing. And I think that's why she was getting frustrated. What did you want him to say? Like I just wasn't getting that emotion really from him. So I feel like if I were the girl in that situation looking at him, I would maybe be a little pissed off too. I hear you. I guess, I mean, and you know,
Starting point is 00:08:32 you've been on reality TV. I'm, I'm just, I spent a lot of time watching that scene really trying to put myself in their shoes, having been in their shoes, not necessarily like having to deal with infidelity on a reality tv setting but just you know knowing that you're walking into a landmine
Starting point is 00:08:50 you know it's i think how can you not be super hyper aware of everything you're saying especially tino i mean so much like bachelor nation really seemed to criticize him for having the journal and i'm thinking what you know like isn't it good to journal isn't it good to write your thoughts i didn't get the impression he was trying to like blame her they weren't positive thoughts though it was everything he was saying that he wrote down or things that could be damaging to her character make her look bad and then he put it out there so now she's supposed to forgive you for cheating and for putting this out there and the fact that you're taking notes on things that i've said it just that was a little icky i mean i i guess but like aren't you supposed to be able to like explain yourself in terms of again i think there's a huge difference between
Starting point is 00:09:45 acknowledging that you were wrong but i do think you have the opportunity to like as tino tried to articulate he was just trying to explain his state of mind and why he made the very bad mistake that he acknowledged he made so it's just like i think people should be allowed to have a space to if if they want to know and rachel seemed to want to know like why did this happen why did she kept asking why why why and you know like if i'm and again this is not in any way tino's wrong that that's not up for debate that's black and white he cheated he's wrong. That's not up for debate. That's black and white. He cheated. He's wrong. But he wanted to explain why he made the mistake, not to justify it, but to explain it. And I think there's a difference. And I think you have the right to be able to say that. I mean, the whole night was icky. You know what I'm saying? The whole situation was icky.
Starting point is 00:10:42 Totally. man, like the whole situation was icky. Totally. You know, but if I'm just trying to put myself in their shoes, it would be damaging for me to say, to hear someone. And again, they seem to disagree about this point. Very much another he said, she said situation. Like, did she say she's giving the ring back?
Starting point is 00:10:59 Like, what was the actual words? Because they very much seem to disagree on what was said. But if what Tino claims he heard is accurate, that would hurt me. Again, not justifying the cheating. But I would understand why he was hurt by that. And does he not have a right to say that? Well, of course he has a right to say that. He has a right to be hurt.
Starting point is 00:11:22 But he lost her respect when he cheated on her and i feel like she just i don't know it's like i mean what could he say to make that better when he's admitting that he did it i mean i don't know if he could say anything to make it better right i guess i'm just curious what rachel actually wanted i didn't seem like, it didn't feel like Rachel actually was looking for answers to me. It seemed like Rachel just wanted, she was rightfully upset and rightfully hurt, but she seemed to want to take that out on Tino.
Starting point is 00:11:58 And I guess she has the right to do that, but I don't know if it's productive. You know what I'm saying? It's like if you just want to yell at them then yell at them don't you feel like they probably already had those conversations though over the phone like off camera i mean if they did then that would make what happened that live to me even ickier yeah because then she's just like yelling at him again shipping season is upon us summer is is ending. It will be Christmas
Starting point is 00:12:27 before you know it. So if you are a small business owner getting ready to ramp up for that busy holiday season, for all those online orders you're going to be getting, think of ShipStation, because if you don't have ShipStation, you're not running your business as efficiently as it can be. ShipStation is helping businesses of all sizes, especially ones that operate on the internet, doing more e-commerce sales, helping you get the best shipping prices that are often reserved for Fortune 500 companies. It easily compares carriers, rates, and delivery times
Starting point is 00:12:53 to get the most out of everything you send, get great insights to your orders so that you can provide the best possible customer service to your customers. It integrates with almost all e-commerce platforms like Shopify, super easy integration. Over 130,000 companies have grown their e-commerce businesses with ShipStation. I've been using ShipStation with natural habits since its inception. 98% of companies that use
Starting point is 00:13:17 ShipStation for one year become customers for life. I mean, there is really no reason not to get ShipStation if you are a small business owner that sells online. You can ship UPS, USPS, FedEx, whatever it is. If you sell on Amazon, Etsy, eBay, again, Spotify, it works with all of those. Make it easy to manage all your shipping from one single dashboard. Super easy. Go to ShipStation.com to try it today. Sign up with promo code VIALL for a free 60-day trial.
Starting point is 00:13:44 Free 60 days. Start today and get set up before the biggest shipping season of the year. That's two months free. Visit ShipStation.com, click on the microphone at the top of the page, and type in code VIALL. Biggs. These scrubs that every healthcare worker wants. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:14:02 And needs. And should have. It's like, they look amazing. They feel amazing. Their durability is amazing. It is truly just like, if you are a frontline worker, you are doing a lot of hard, hard work. You deserve to be as comfortable as possible.
Starting point is 00:14:17 Yeah. And if you know someone, they deserve to be as comfortable as possible. Get it as a gift, get yourself a gift or tell someone to buy you a gift. You deserve to be wearing figs. Like Amanda said, ridiculously soft. They have proprietary four-way stretch fabric. They have all different types of styles that wick away moisture and anti-wrinkle fabric, anti-odor, easy to customize with text and icon embroidery. And again, all
Starting point is 00:14:42 these different styles so you look good. I mean, also, if you're not a doctor that is really comfortable with pajamas, like I love wearing my figs. Head to wearfigs.com and use code V-I-A-L-L and get 15% off your first order. That's W-E-A-R-F-I-G-S.com, promo code V-I-A-L-L. Pick up a set in one of the new fall colors for a look that's 100% awesome for all season long. They're super popular. Core scr a set in one of the new fall colors. For a look that's 100% awesome for all season long. They're super popular. Core scrubs never go to style and are easy to mix and match. I think like in the very beginning when Rachel was like, so you start and he was like, you want me to start? Like, I think that was kind of indicative of it where like,
Starting point is 00:15:21 I think Tino was waiting to see where Rachelachel was at like i think it was clear that tino was waiting to be like do i have a chance or not because i don't want to like grovel if i don't have a shot both because it's embarrassing and also maybe because i don't want to be putting pressure on you if your decision is made but i think with rachel i think in that moment she needed him to be definitive i think if there was any chance for him to say more or be in any way redeemable he needed to come in like definitively like i am so sorry and kind of catering to more of like validating where she was at and like apologizing in a way that was like significant to her and i think the second he didn't do that it just like went off the fucking rails yeah i guess to me i feel like if either of them sincerely had the hope
Starting point is 00:16:06 of reconciliation that never had a chance because it was filmed yeah it wasn't gonna happen in that conversation i think her mind was already made up even if it wasn't what i'm saying is like the fact that it was filmed yeah like i don't blame either of them for not being their best self in that moment. You know what I'm saying? Imagine trying to deal with such an emotionally hurtful or taxing event, and whether it's Tino who knows he fucked up
Starting point is 00:16:36 and knows he's wrong, and then Rachel who's heartbroken over being betrayed. And he feels embarrassed after having this season of constant rejection and constantly feeling like she just took so many. She had so many moments this season that were so challenging for her. She was already in the position where she was inherently compared against another person. And then time after time and time again, it was clear she was interpreting all the events as like. Like a rejection and an affront to her ego and then to get cheated on. It's like, you just hear how that fulfills
Starting point is 00:17:07 the toxic narrative that she was scared about the whole time. So it's like, no wonder she was like. Yeah, I guess I just think the fact that it was filmed, neither of them had the, like I said, I don't think neither of them had a chance to be their best self. And I think they both needed to be their best self
Starting point is 00:17:22 to listen to one another, to let the other person speak, let them finish, acknowledge what the other person said. Like, again, like Tina was wrong. But like if Rachel didn't want reconciliation, she also could have just led with that, too. Like, otherwise, you're just like. You're just basically putting them on a fucking. You're just putting them on blast. You're crucifying him. Yeah. You're just like, hey on a fucking... Putting him on blast? You're crucifying him? Yeah, you're just like, hey, show up so I can yell at you.
Starting point is 00:17:49 It's just, all right. Like, again, he fucked up. But, like, at what point, you know, is it like... It just got to the point where I think it... Whether it was the show or Rachel or Tino, it just... It got... It was too much. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:18:04 I mean, again, this is not in any way what tino did was wrong but i do have a lot of empathy for both rachel everyone eric gabby rachel tino like has someone who's uh tried to make a relationship work after the you know that show and airing it's a nightmare it is like you are starting i think i've told this story before but i was having a conversation with a friend uh years back it was you know actually vanessa and i were out to dinner with these friends and she was talking to her friends and i was talking to him and he was really curious and we were just talking about it and and i was just talking about like this trying to make a relationship work and
Starting point is 00:18:44 he's like man it's like man, it's like you're, it's like you're starting a game in the seventh inning, you know, like, and I'm like, yeah, no, no, no. Like, it's like you're starting a game seventh inning down nine runs. Like you're just, you have such a disadvantage of, even think about it. Your relationship starts with all these heightened emotions.
Starting point is 00:18:59 You're engaged, but you barely know each other. And then you don't get to hang out with one another. You immediately have to start a relationship long distance. And then you have to watch each other do all this shit on TV. And then you have to deal with outside opinions and critics and point of views. It's like, it really never stands a chance. Right. And, and so I have a ton of empathy for both of all the people involved. And so, yeah, like, again, while it doesn't make what Tino did wrong, I am curious about some of the questions that we have in terms of what were their issues? What did they talk about? Like, there wasn't a break, but it sure sounded like he felt very insecure, as he acknowledged, about their relationship.
Starting point is 00:19:47 Well, and I think that another element of that was even in addition to their back and forth of giving the ring back, not wanting to wear the ring, when we saw Gabby come to the house and talk to Rachel before Tino even entered the space, she said something to Rachel along the lines of like, and you weren't on a break or he can't say that you were broken up which
Starting point is 00:20:09 Sheena pointed out as like why would she bring that up unless Rachel had said something at the beginning like when she first told her I mean obviously that conversation was very much staged you know what I'm saying like it was film they probably were talking before and they had Gabby walk in you know or not see their friends we weren't pitting them against each other
Starting point is 00:20:28 yeah but she obviously was operating with information before she had that conversation and it did seem a little bit because yeah rachel said gabby was the first person i called and so it was like she clearly like called gabby was like i mean we were sort of on a break but like that doesn't make this you know like i didn't think he was actually did she say something along those lines it kind of sounded like yeah it's also so interesting because it feels like was it a break or was it a test you know yeah i don't know but i guess breaks are inherently kind of tests of relationships i don't believe in breaks so if you're on a if we're on a break if you're on a break you're broken up but i mean tino said they weren't on
Starting point is 00:21:05 a break so that's not really up for discussion even tino said that they weren't but there clearly seemed to be like a disconnect a huge disconnect between what they were going through and clearly tino handed it in the worst possible way instead of resolving whatever disconnect he had with rachel he chose to do the weaker thing. And that is to give into whatever temptation and finding comfort with someone else that he shouldn't have. And again, he acknowledged that. I mean, it's just one of those things like how much should we pile on Tino, I guess is the question. Like how much should we... I guess we need more details. Yeah. Yeah. Because it feels like you
Starting point is 00:21:45 know in the relationship there's like the you the me the us and i feel like we know like so like the tino the rachel the them and like we know the tino thing like he kissed a girl it's unclear how much contact they had what that looked like leading up to it it's also clear that he did not tell her for four days which i think was a big part of her. And she even said like, it wasn't even the full truth. At that point, it was this little, we were texting, da, da, da. And it like kept building, which automatically leads to mistrust. Cause it's like, well, are you going to turn around next week and tell me that you actually slept with her? Right. Yeah. I want to get clarity on that because there were just a lot of broken, mean it did come across that way but i'd like to know if that actually was hold on to your kilts dearies peacock original the traitors is back with
Starting point is 00:22:32 a new season of strategy betrayal sabotage and murder this killer season features an all-new celebrity cast that vulture hailed as reality royalty living in a scottish castle for the ultimate murder mystery competition. We're talking fierce competitors, reality stars, and public figures battling it out for a whopping cash prize. This season's cutthroat missions are next level, just like whatever Alan Cumming pulls out of his brilliantly eccentric wardrobe. One thing is for sure, these 21 players will do anything to avoid a plot in Alan's graveyard.
Starting point is 00:23:03 Find out why critics and audiences alike are raving about the Emmy award-winning series The New York Times is calling it a murder mystery with clothes to die for, and Vox adding that it should be your new reality TV obsession. We are certainly obsessed. Stream every episode of Traitors Now only on Peacock. Ladies and gentlemen.
Starting point is 00:23:22 What are you doing? What do you mean? Just keep it simple. I'm making you mean? Just keep it simple. I'm making the promo. Just keep it simple. Just say, hey, we're the Brav Bros. Two guys that talk about Bravo. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, we're the Brav Bros.
Starting point is 00:23:35 No. Oh. Dude, stop with the voice. Just keep it simple. I've seen promos on TV, dude. This is how you get the fans engaged. This is how you get listeners. We're trying to get listeners here. If we just say,
Starting point is 00:23:46 oh, we're two dudes that talk about Bravo, people are going to get tired of it already. We need some oomph. All right, then fine. Let's try to do it with your voice. Bravo, bros. Good job. The case. Sheena's point, too, this whole thing could be so edited. Like, we don't know.
Starting point is 00:24:00 Not the live, but everything that's happened before, there's obviously a lot of stuff we didn't see from the conversations not the live but everything that's happened before there's obviously a lot of stuff we didn't see from the conversations that didn't happen in that one scene
Starting point is 00:24:09 sitting down but then that conversation it could have been two hours we saw what less than 15 minutes of it
Starting point is 00:24:16 because it felt like he stood up and left the house every two seconds but it could have been 30 minutes later oh it was 100% 30 minutes later
Starting point is 00:24:23 yeah there's no way he was getting up that quick then sitting back down and then getting back up and also who was his phone call with i was wondering that too and he was smart enough to take off his mic probably a parent yeah again like i it's just this is like a i feel like you know i'm trying we're trying to have nuance to this conversation because like i i truly have no sympathy for cheaters like i'm someone who's been cheated on but there was just something very icky about what i feel like what we watched and you know i feel like the punishment should meet the crime and rachel has every right
Starting point is 00:24:58 to be hurt and sad but like that whole filming and like you could just tell that tino was literally trying to survive that conversation i know like bachelor you could just tell that Tino was literally trying to survive that conversation. I know like a bachelor nation had a good laugh when he said, just let me out of here. But I felt a lot of empathy for him as someone who's been in that world. And you, you know,
Starting point is 00:25:15 we were so critical of saying like, all these people are here to be famous or whatever, but like, it's these people don't know what they signed up for, you know? And all, but some definitely do. Sure.
Starting point is 00:25:29 I think, I mean, in fairness, I think the men know far less. Yeah. I mean, I've talked to a lot of guys who sincerely are like, I really didn't,
Starting point is 00:25:38 I did not know what I was getting into. Sure. I literally do your research. It's so easy to find out what you signed up for. There's so much footage so much on Hulu to play devil's advocate then you end up being one of the guys who's villainized because he did his research and he took notes exactly and he is trying to be strategic it can go both and also when you I'm sorry and I've said this a hundred times before doing your research on The Bachelor
Starting point is 00:26:03 until you are living that you truly don't know how fucked up things can get. I pity anyone who finds themselves trapped in this world, having no control, and having the weight of the internet bashing and crucifying every little choice and mistake they make. I don't care who they are, man, woman, or whatever. I'm just saying I have a ton of empathy for all the people who do that. But if you want to debate who knows more about the show than others, like I truly,
Starting point is 00:26:39 regardless if it's a man or a woman, I think everyone truly doesn't know what they signed up for until they live that experience. Yeah, I don't think a woman, I think everyone truly doesn't know what they signed up for until they live that experience. Yeah, I don't think you can. I think, I mean, that's something that when you watch the show, like me as a fan of the show, I've watched it and be like, oh my God, I want to do that one day back when I was single. But until you are in that situation, I mean, I don't think you could even try to prepare yourself for what would come up because you never know what's going to come up with the group of people who are there. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:10 I mean, I think it's a nightmare for everyone. Do we feel like that can be said of almost all reality shows? Like, do you feel that way? If I was like a fan. Yeah. Like, I wouldn't know what your day to day life is and how strenuous it would be to actually be on the show. Yeah, totally. I mean, and that's, I think, the reason why so many of us reality TV people become friends is because we get it.
Starting point is 00:27:33 Like, I met Rachel and Gabby at their premiere party in Marina Del Rey a couple days before the premiere. And we ended up going out that night, the next night. And I hung out with them and got drinks and got to get to know them. And so then watching it, I personally was watching it with slightly different eyes because I got to know them more from just watching their season. But even when I was hanging out with them,
Starting point is 00:27:55 I'm like, oh my God, like, it's like, I get it when people say like, oh, I feel like I know you because with reality TV, you are yourself. And I mean, both wonderful women, so much fun. But yeah, until you are in that situation, I feel like you just, you can't possibly understand. You can think, you can get advice and think you know what you're signing up for. But once, even after you film it, oh my God, that went so great. Like there'll be a scene. I'm like, that was so much fun. And then you watch it back and you're like, wait a second second that's not fun now watching it back yeah so yeah you just
Starting point is 00:28:30 you never know and also like i think some of these legacy shows like the bachelor or vanderpump that have you know we've talked about we talk about this all the time just the passion from the fan base it's it's a blessing and a curse like the the blessing is people care. Yeah. And they're invested in your life. The curse is like, you know, if you step in it, there's just zero grace for like, you know, people aren't treated like humans, you know, in this world. And I don't have much sympathy for cheaters. Like I have remorse for everyone who makes mistakes. And people who are willing to acknowledge a mistake
Starting point is 00:29:10 and own up to it and apologize, I'm willing to forgive them and hope that they learn because we've all made mistakes. And in Bachelor Nation, it feels like if you fuck up, people will never let it go. And I'm sure Tino's dms are filled with you should kill yourself you know i bet it's just it's not just bachelor nation i mean i still get stuff like that i'm a homewrecking whore 16 years later and i'm like come on people no material
Starting point is 00:29:38 it reminds me of when we interviewed sarah and nippy from the vow when they were talking about with like cults how it's like the recruiters where it's like everybody. I think it's kind of shocking, like interviewing people from Bachelor Nation, like seeing how like intelligent and down to earth and like competent and cool so many people are where it's like I'm sure that's also part of where people have this severe lack of empathy is because they don't understand that. of empathy is because they don't understand that like in the moment the reason people are falling so hard is because the people involved in it are like genuinely like another human who's like yeah i know this is fucking crazy but like we're in it together yeah uh i like something um someone sent this to me this is from the instagram account mc counseling center and they wrote i suspect tonight's breakup conversation was probably more triggering and cringy for most viewers than it was entertaining and dramatic. I have often struggled with the exploitation of human emotions for the sake of entertainment, but we have worked
Starting point is 00:30:33 with the understanding that those folks sign up for this. But I struggle when it goes beyond traumatizing just the cast members and becoming traumatizing and glorifying for unhealthy relationships behaviors for all of the public. As humans, we are going to identify more with one person's side of a breakup than the other based on our own lived experiences. But from a completely objective and specifically trained perspective, neither Rachel nor Tina carry themselves in a skillful way. I worry that the inevitable media spin of polarizing who is more correct or justified when neither are will do no good for the way we conceptualize breakups, relationships, or conflict in general. And I honestly couldn't agree more with that because I think the truth is, yeah, I don't think either of them handled it brilliantly.
Starting point is 00:31:27 I have a ton of empathy and grace for both of them, especially having to have both those conversations, one being recorded on camera, the other being live on camera. And then, yeah, I mean, this whole show is based off, I mean, the show is edited to try to elicit reactions from people. That's what makes it entertaining. They want you to identify, you know,
Starting point is 00:31:46 with one of the characters on the show, you know? It's just like, generally your favorite is someone that you relate to or you identify with. And when that person is wronged, you tend to take their side. Or if you, you know, if you were wronged or cheated on, you will take their side and you will be biased towards them and maybe not want to see the
Starting point is 00:32:05 nuance and again like while cheating is wrong we want i was really hoping to have a more kind of productive conversation between the two and and try to find you know some answers i mean you know i guess hopefully we'll get some answers on a podcast. But it felt kind of icky where it seemed to be like a pile on as opposed to. And that's why I just didn't like, you know, him trying to apologize and apologize and him trying to just, you know, give an answer to why he made the mistake he did. And then Rachel just kept saying, I guess I didn't understand what Rachel was saying or why she wouldn't let him speak. There are a few products on Hungry Root that I feel anger every time I go to a grocery store
Starting point is 00:32:53 and can't find because they're exclusive to them. Obviously almonds, the chickpea almond, cookie dough, everybody knows and loves that. The green chili salsa is so good. I cannot describe why it is so amazing. I got it as a part of a package for a whole fajita dish because the nice thing about Hungry Root is that they send you groceries that you can craft into these lovely meals. They give you the recipe for it, but they're also groceries that you can use as standalone ingredients.
Starting point is 00:33:16 This green chili salsa is so good. It is so good. Do yourself a favor. Give it a try. If you want to feel like a domestic goddess, and I've never felt like that before in my life, Hungry Root's your ticket. Well, if you want to feel like a domestic goddess, or if you're just trying to eat a little healthier, feel a little better, and just don't have quite the time that you want, think of Hungry Root. Hungry Root is helping people who still want
Starting point is 00:33:37 to have high quality meals, who don't have time to maybe just grocery shop and things like that, or do all the prep, you know, 20, 30 minutes of prep for all their meals. Super simple, easy to follow. It's all like ready to go. Hungry Root is the easiest way to get fresh, high quality food delivered to your door. You've got healthy groceries and simple recipes all in one place. Take a fun short quiz and Hungry Root will get to know you, your goals and how you like to eat. Are you gluten free? Do you like sweets, et cetera, et cetera. They'll keep it top of mind as they start building your cart. Hungry Root will recommend groceries that they think you'll love. Take their suggestions or choose what you want from fresh produce, high quality meat, seafood, pantry staples,
Starting point is 00:34:11 healthy snacks, sweets, and much more. 30% off your first delivery and free veggies for life. Free veggies for life. What more can you ask for? That's your mom's dream. There you go. Just go to HungryRoot.com slash V-I-A-L-L. Get 30% off your first delivery and get free veggies for life. That's HungryRoot.com slash V-I-A-L-L. Don't forget to use our link so they know we sent you. I think she also kind of needed to say more, but then wasn't because when she kept being like, you know, there are other issues, personal issues. Do you want to go there? Do you want to bring that up? I don't think they other issues personal issues do you want to go there do you want to bring that up i don't think they were her personal issues because i don't think she would
Starting point is 00:34:50 have phrased it in that way so well even still that made me feel even worse for him because it was like you know maybe he didn't want to bring it up but it's just like if you get cheated on and you have a like a non-negotiable with cheating. It's like, all right, you cheated on me. Let's break up. If you want to consider reconciliation and then have a conversation to see if there can be that reconciliation, you have to allow a conversation to happen. You have to be willing to hear them out. say whether or not she was willing because i think it was i think it just started going so badly that it was like i think the whole theme of it was like this unsurmountable deficit like deficit i don't think she and how many times did he walk away yeah well according to my therapist that's actually the healthy thing to do walk away and like no but like leave the yeah when things when
Starting point is 00:35:43 when when you are in an argument with someone for over like 10 or 15 minutes to take some space best thing to do is because we're Darlene has told me that you are you go to your childlike mental state and so the best thing for your to do in a situation is you both leave the room calm down and come back because then you can be a bit more in your kind of um you know mature emotional state of mind because when you start getting into the you know when you start cutting each other off and you start reacting and you start raising your voice and you start and like they they weren't listening to one another they were both trying to get out what
Starting point is 00:36:21 they wanted to say yeah you know because you could tell it was like now uh like oh you're gonna say this i'm gonna say this like it was so clear it was two individuals being like america is gonna watch this and now i this is liability the way this conversation is going down and i need to like defend myself now i'm trying to when i think like i i had texted some friends who were also watching on the east coast of like this feels so acty to me it feels presentational or acting. And everyone agreed with me. And I was like, so does that mean that they're not being genuine or does it just literally mean, yeah, there are four cameras facing us during what would typically be a private moment between a couple. So, and we all know it's going to be
Starting point is 00:36:59 replayed and we're going to be sitting on a couch watching it replay. Like it's so many things going on in your brain at the same time. i feel like tina was trying to survive it knowing he fucked up and he was wrong and it felt like rachel wanted to punish him for hurting her i also think the conversation was probably really triggering to rachel like even talking about how like i think having walking away i think that's totally like really obviously very sage's vice coming from a professional i think rachel we've seen so many times back to Clayton. She has this narrative like I will fight for people and I can't stand it when people stop fighting for me. And I bet in that moment when he walked away, it felt like he was like not fighting for her. throughout the season she's set up to fail in that way and what did gabby tell her that eric did for her he's fought for me every second he's fought for this relationship she's coming off of watching her quote-unquote best friend having a guy fight for her and tino is off here ripping his shirt off pulling his mic off and make a phone call i know but like it's it was you know
Starting point is 00:38:00 what what do they say about comparison it's a thief of joy yeah so but it's just helping like contextualize why her reaction to him stepping away might be yeah i have i have empathy for both of them i just i don't well tino is 100 wrong in the cheating i didn't like how that all played out tonight for either of them and while i understand rachel has every right to be hurt and she has every right to be mad and angry i like the i mean rachel had nothing to do with the aven thing but i hated i fucking hated that that was odd that's you know it just to me it was like the and to have tino sit there but it was great tv but it was personally yes great tv i love aven and so i was hoping for something like this when he came out i was like yes aven team aven let's go but then i was like oh tino's just sitting there and yeah awkward it felt performative and it felt like a pile obviously production like set it up
Starting point is 00:38:59 with aven he didn't get there on his own and nowhere where to go. He had a call time. He said yes. He agreed to do it. Which surprised me. Maybe he still really has feelings for Rachel. He seemed like he was genuinely falling in love with her. He maybe wasn't all the way there yet. He wasn't ready for a proposal yet, as most people shouldn't be after knowing someone for so short of a time. It reeked of a Walmart version of Hannah Brownannah brown and tyler cameron trying to reunite
Starting point is 00:39:25 at at uh afr and i suspect we'll get some like you know they might try to like drag this out together a few times in public or like do some like cryptic instagram posts it won't go anywhere and then when we'll finally get to answer questions they'll just say you know they'll they won't say anything to let us continue to think there's something and eventually it'll be nothing. It's Kyle and Deepti. It's Kyle and 100%. It's Kyle and Deepti. That's exactly what it'll be. And I just think that's icky. I loved it for Rachel in that moment. Just going to say. The look in her face and her eyes, it looked like she had like happy tears. Like, oh my God, wait, this guy's still here for me.
Starting point is 00:40:04 No, I get that. It's just the eye for the eye of it all like you have the right to be hurt but like you know i don't know i just think it's like when you cheat on someone you put crazy town in the gps so it doesn't matter that she was driving the conversation the gps was telling her to go to crazy town because tino like programmed it that way i get. I understand why she's upset. And I, as someone who's been cheated on, I didn't handle myself the best way. And I wanted, you know, I had feelings of revenge and feelings of, you know, revenge. You know, you want to get back at the person who hurt you. I empathize with that feeling. But watching it play out on national television just was kind of gross.
Starting point is 00:40:44 Yeah, it was. It's not fun. I might, I don't know. but watching it play out on national television just was kind of gross yeah it was they also i might i don't know my heart went out to even because i don't feel like they gave him his proper moment on the show like if we're gonna call them it was awkward for him too yeah it was like even talking about the tyler and hannah brown example hannah was out there by herself the couch was open tyler came they sat down next to each other. We had cameras on him. Even standing on the corner of the stage, he has no actual close-up angle. It just kind of felt like he was hovering,
Starting point is 00:41:11 Tino's watching. The whole thing was just flimsy. It could have been planned very, very last minute. He could have flown in three hours ago, barely made it there in time for live television. And they're like, we don't even have a camera set up for this angle, but he needs to come out now because this conversation needs to wrap up. Like, when it's live TV,
Starting point is 00:41:28 I feel like they weren't prepared for this too far ahead. And so they worked with what they got. They're like, okay, we can get this camera on Avon. We can get this one still capturing Tino's awkward face. And then I don't know like where we're going to go with it. Because I mean, I don't think Rachel was planning on walking off the stage in that moment you know tino should have left gabby would have come back so i think that was like more of a spur of the moment okay this is gonna happen now aven's available now and let's just do it yeah i say there's a 50 50 chance aven had no idea that tino was gonna to be on stage. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:06 Tino did handle it well to his credit. He did. Because if he left, you know they would have gotten a camera and there's no way for him to leave
Starting point is 00:42:12 without it look like he's storming out and like he like took it like a goddamn champ. He really did. Yeah. I mean, I know,
Starting point is 00:42:20 dude, when you're, you got cameras in your face, you got a live audience, like, I mean, you know, hats off. He didn't handle he didn't talk about his entrance tino's silent entrance oh my god and then there's like two claps and then and then there was like someone sitting next to people like do not fucking clap going back to the beginning of the episode like right when tino and and rachel got
Starting point is 00:42:43 engaged and then they had a shot of Rachel's dad and Rachel's mom and there was a girl right behind them just like, she was like, whoo! Big Tony's like,
Starting point is 00:42:51 shut the fuck up. You don't even know. Like, that's the man on the phone. That's just a diehard fan who doesn't watch spoilers and she's just like
Starting point is 00:43:02 living through every moment. She has no idea that they've broken up. Do you think she tapped Big Tony on the shoulders like, yeah, sorry about that.
Starting point is 00:43:09 I had no idea. I was like, I'm sorry. Right? Oops. I don't know. Is there anything left to talk about
Starting point is 00:43:19 the Tino and Rachel? We will get our answers next week. I think that's the important part. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like I have to say this even though I shouldn't, but like you don't need to be like DMing Tino or Rachel
Starting point is 00:43:30 and sharing your thoughts in their DMs. I fucking hate bullies. Gabby and Eric. Gabby and Eric. Yay. Shout out. Happy for them. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:42 Thank God we got a love story. Thank God we got a love story. That's why they got all this stuff out in the beginning. I was worried about AFR. Honestly, I thought like maybe when we were discussing current events, they would be on the rocks or they were taking a break. And I was, oh, it was a breath of relief. Yes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:57 I mean, there's not even like the biggest, we're just like happy for them. I mean, we need to discuss, I guess, the text messages. I feel like the central point of that is that he told Gabby before the screenshots came out. Like, I think that was like the thesis of it was that like, yeah, he fucked up. Gabby's like, you're an asshole. But like, because it was the way he like navigated that situation that made it a non-issue. Yeah. I mean, I'm surprised they didn't like give any space or acknowledge the fact that we saw Eric's dad
Starting point is 00:44:25 at hometowns dying of cancer. Yeah. He has now since passed away. Oh. That hasn't been acknowledged. But again, I don't know what actually happened. Eric says he let her on, and if he did, that was wrong. But my understanding is the full context of that story is,
Starting point is 00:44:47 here's this guy who won, his dad's dying of cancer. He lost his job around this time. And he meets this girl, he starts dating her, he's been dating her for a month. And all of a sudden, ABC, the bachelor, calls up and says, hey, do you wanna come on? And I could imagine why someone in Eric's position is thinking this might be a literal sign from God that like maybe I need like a fresh start to my
Starting point is 00:45:12 life. I just like everything is going to shit. My dad is literally dying. I lost a job I don't even like. I don't know what to do with my life. He's like in his late 20s. That can be a very scary time in your life if you don't feel settled. And so like he went on the show and like here he is, he's dated this woman who sounds like he liked and it sounds like he addressed it with her right away. I mean, I saw the text messages.
Starting point is 00:45:39 It's like he tried to be upfront with her and it sounds like he could have done better. He tried to be up front with her, and it sounds like he could have done better. And then I hate the exes coming forward and posting texts in screenshots. I'm not saying Eric was perfect. He acknowledged he let her on, and maybe he was a jerk. But I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:46:02 I just, going to these Bachelor fan accounts and posting text messages that aren't verified or anything like that. And it sounds like this is a real person, but we've heard the stories of lives being ruined by other people with text messages coming forward in Bachelor Nation. And they treat it like this is like the Panama Papers. Like they're publishing like important life changing information information that's going to change the world. And it's like, no, you're upset. And that's human, but. Yeah, you're upset.
Starting point is 00:46:29 And like there is nothing worse than the person you dated breaking up with you and then eventually breaking up with you, go to on The Bachelor or breaking up with you and eventually being on The Bachelor.
Starting point is 00:46:40 Yeah, and doing well. And doing well. Oh, that's tough. That must suck. That must be literally the worst thing in the world i i get it but like also people i think the damning text was though he texted her once he was back from filming sure like he ended things in march is it right to be pissed about that well i yeah i think that was
Starting point is 00:46:58 like why i was like okay well at that point you've left you're obviously engaged which we just watched why are you texting her on july 11th saying i'm so sorry amanda what i did was terrible i don't expect you to ever forgive me i just want you to know i think about you all the time and you really deserve the best i won't ever forgive myself i hope you find happiness and everything you deserve i think about you all the time and you're an engaged man definitely should not have written i think but as a man who was maybe dumb in that moment not saying all men are dumb but like being dumb to say those words i don't think he meant it in that way i think he was trying to save face and maybe being like please don't publish what i said
Starting point is 00:47:37 before because he reread the messages and that was just kind of his way of being like i'm sure he does think about her all the time and that is is this chick going to throw me under the bus? Is she like he's got to be thinking about that all the time. Or maybe he's not even thinking about that. Maybe what if he's just maybe he's empathizing with the fact that she might have been heartbroken and he felt really bad and wanted to reach out and say he was sorry. Yeah. Isn't that possible? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:02 I don't think there was anything necessarily wrong in him reaching out to her and i think even gabby could respect that knowing what he said before and being like okay it's not like he said like i would love to see you can we meet up like something like that yeah like sometimes you say things you don't mean during breakups yeah like i'll miss you or you know i'm just doing this yeah like i don, you know. Or I'm just doing this for, like, I don't think it's real. I'm just doing this for a job opportunity. Or whatever.
Starting point is 00:48:28 Yeah. And so, and then the, I didn't think it was, I wasn't doing, like, when I first went on The Bachelor, people were like,
Starting point is 00:48:34 do you think you're going to find love? And I was like, absolutely not. And I ended up really liking, you don't know what you're, you don't fucking know.
Starting point is 00:48:40 No one goes on The Bachelor now, especially nowadays, and actually thinks they're going for love. And every season, a couple people are surprised by the fact that they develop real feelings. But, you know, like, to sit there and go back and, like, crucify Eric because he was dating some girl
Starting point is 00:49:01 and unexpectedly got, like, probably scouted or reached out to some friends, signed him up for the show. Yeah. And then while he's dealing with the death of a father and the loss of a job and decides to go on. I mean, like, are we we're going to crucify him? Like, I don't know. It just feels gross. And it feels more gross that whoever this person was like you know what did
Starting point is 00:49:27 she have to gain yeah from this you know you just look bitter hurt people hurt people kind of thing she was hurt and she wanted revenge and it was like the timing of it it's like the further he went and now it came out right when she knew like, well, oh shit, Eric's the only one left. Yeah. He wins. The motherfucker wins. He's engaged. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:49:52 Brutal for your ex to win. Yeah, I get that. But like the fact, I mean. No, but totally identifies what the motive was. Yeah. It's so transparent, you know? When she put in her statement, like it was because of the photos from the yearbook that came out and she put in the statement like well i saw that the photos from
Starting point is 00:50:11 the yearbook were posted and then eric posted an apology and it reminded me of another apology i got recently like that was what she used as kind of her leading like that didn't need to be public we don't know yeah i again when, when exes of Bachelor cast people, I hated it when Tayshia's ex did it to her. I hate it when someone did it to Peter Weber. I mean, the only person I kind of sided with Jed's ex, and I've since almost taken that back because I'm teeny-tiny brown now,
Starting point is 00:50:41 but they were literally dating. Yeah. There was that message of like wait for me at the dock or some shit like that you know like you know like but also people go on this show not expecting to actually develop feelings so they think you know i'm just gonna go on have this opportunity like don't worry like just be here for me when i get back and then it was like oh shit wait i kind of like this person now what do i got to do with this one so back home waiting for me on the dock
Starting point is 00:51:09 if you want to compare the air it's been a long time on the dock and go back to the back of blanket go back to jed right if you remember like the criticism like i was very critical of jed it wasn't so much that like it's that he kind of kept being dishonest about it like from what i gathered he just like he didn't really address it and he kind of kept being dishonest about it like from what i gathered he just like he didn't really address it and he kind of just hoped it went away go back to eric yeah should he should he have not have texted this girl after the fact but he at least tried to like he got his phone back holy shit i'm engaged you know he probably thought he would reach out to this girl after the show when he went on the show and just say hey like i'm sorry i did that it was a crazy experience but like if you want to like
Starting point is 00:51:49 grab a drink let's grab a drink and she probably would have said yes and then he got on the show he's in love with gabby and he reached out there and tried to like at least address it where jed didn't the girl was just like yeah like he ran into me and was like, hey, how you doing? And pretended they weren't dating. So if that's true, then I feel like Eric tried his best to do the right thing, even though he didn't do it perfectly. And I'm not saying he didn't have to apologize. And again, he acknowledged he let her on. So he should apologize for that. I have a question for the room is what qualities do you look for as indicators of whether or not this relationship will make it?
Starting point is 00:52:33 Because you spoke about how big a deficit you're coming at. And I think usually we think about individuals like we think about like someone like Michelle, who is just like the most like poised, emotionally intelligent person in the whole wide world. And still like that doesn't mean that she was there. Her relationship was able to grow in the soil it was planted. So I'm curious for you, when you're looking at Gabby and Eric, what kinds of things would you take as an indication that this relationship might have some longevity? I think the fact that he did fight for her so hard the whole time, because he was one of my favorites from the beginning. I liked him and I liked Nate. And I cried when Nate went home. I was like,
Starting point is 00:53:10 oh my God, I don't usually get like actually emotional watching this show. It's entertaining. But I was like, damn, like that they had something real. And the fact that it was the fact that, you know, he's a parent and it was like, it's not that we don't like each other. We're not falling in love. It's that she wasn't ready for, to me personally, the scariest job in the fucking world is being a mom. It's terrifying. And for her upbringing to, you know, have that. And so I feel like with Eric being there throughout the whole time and just really showing like, I'm here for you. And even I felt so bad that that conversation went so south when he told her, you know, like when he saw her after her other overnight or whenever who went home.
Starting point is 00:53:54 And then it just got kind of convoluted. And she was like, he didn't expect the conversation to go that way. And I liked that he wanted to see her. I always like when the person goes and knocks on the hotel room or like, you know, talks to a producer. He's like, hey, I want to say something to them like after their group date. Can I sneak over? Because not many people do that, whether it's not allowed or whatever. But the fact that he did that, I was like, yes, Eric, fight for your girl. Initiative is so hot. Totally.
Starting point is 00:54:24 It's the hottest quality in a partner when they like take initiative for everything. And like, remember at the like boxing group date when Rachel's men were all there watching the whole fight and not one of them even made eye contact with her. Like that's got to feel so shitty as a person where it's like, they're not even trying to look at me. They're not even trying to get my attention. So for Eric to constantly let Gabby know, I'm here for you. I'm fighting for you. I don't want you with anyone else. Like, I just want to reiterate that. Like, please pick me. I am here for you. I loved that. Yeah. I mean, just piggybacking off of what you said, I think what I really liked about Gabby and Eric's
Starting point is 00:55:01 relationship, especially towards the end and whether it was editing or dramatic effect, but they showed them having conflict and then resolving conflict. And there was a lot of that. And that's a good sign because no relationship is without conflict. And so if what we saw in the show is accurate to their life outside of the show,
Starting point is 00:55:22 I think they actually have a fighting chance. I mean, even these text messages that they had to deal with, that's conflict. And it sounds like maybe they resolved it. What we see on live isn't always what's actually going on, but I hope for them it is. And in general, I remember talking to Clayton on the phone. He called me for advice. I remember talking to Clayton on the phone he called me for advice and I didn't really know he was with Susie at the time but I got a sense he I knew he was with somebody and I could tell he was like reading reddit I can tell he was reading comments and I and I could tell he really cared about the person he liked you could tell I could tell that he was worried about certain things and he was asking me questions.
Starting point is 00:56:05 And I just said, the only way you're going to make this work is that if you forget everything else, you stop reading this bullshit and you truly... Like any relationship, whether it comes off the bachelor in life, you have to truly just prioritize each other. You have to see yourself as a team. You have to truly say, for us to make it through, we have to want to like, we have to want to make it through. We have to think of ourselves as a team. We have to set our individual goals and desires. We have to promise each other that we won't let things that don't matter get in the way. And that is so hard to do in this. It's so hard to do in general. And it's so hard to do for everyone. And it takes a lot of maturity and selflessness.
Starting point is 00:56:49 And that's why most of these relationships don't work. I mean, most of these relationships don't work because people end up picking someone they're ultimately not compatible with because they don't have enough time to actually find out who they're most compatible with. But on top of that, it's hard to do because there's so many other pressures that these couples have to face with. But it's a good sign that Eric and Gabby have showed us that they are willing to work through conflict. Yeah. And I think you can also see just from even Gabby on Clayton's season that she's very upfront and she is a good communicator. And I feel like Eric's been very upfront with his feelings. So I feel like they have that foundation of communication, which to me personally is one of the biggest, most important things in a relationship. And so I feel like for that, like they could totally make it.
Starting point is 00:57:30 Yeah. I mean, all the things that Gabby has been through, she seems like she is really grounded and I think she's, she's talked about therapy. Dude, she's awesome. And she was so herself on the show. Yeah. Like she, there was something about the lived experience that she had that allowed her to be so authentic on the show in a way that it feels
Starting point is 00:57:50 like not everyone can access in that position so i feel like that's also a really good sign yeah she's so likable like genuinely in person on the show like she's just she's really an awesome person yeah i really i really hope they make it. And I think Dancing with the Stars can be fun. I mean, I, Vanessa and I had a very fun experience. I know some people will criticize, you know, the, the leads going on the show, but I think it'd be a positive experience. I mean, truly Dancing with the Stars for Vanessa and I was the most positive experience that we had in our entire relationship. Cause it was like a, it was a fun distraction. We both, I had fun doing it. She had a fun being a part of it. You know, Max and Peta were like,
Starting point is 00:58:30 great. And we all hung out and like, I, you know, I, I, like I asked her to come to, like, I just like, Hey, come, come whenever you want. And she did. And it was fun. So it's whatever you wanted to make it, you know? So I hope Gabby includes Eric and, and makes him, it makes him feel welcome if he wants to be a part of it. Yeah. And includes him. Because it can be a fun experience. Is he from here? Yeah, he lives in Santa Monica.
Starting point is 00:58:50 Right? Okay, yeah. I thought so. Well, there's been speculations based on his Instagram stories, based on the way he's angling it and the background and the ceiling that he actually has been at rehearsals because it looks like the Dancing with the Stars rehearsal places. And there has been rumors that they're like kind of have been living secretly together in venice since the season wrapped so i believe they're both on the
Starting point is 00:59:11 west side yeah yeah yeah her her jason and eric oh oh awkward night at bungalow right truly wait speaking of awkward can we talk about the first impression rose wait the zach of it all that'll be a good zach is bachelor yeah um he's as good a choice as any it just feels like and this is not a criticism it's it's giving ben higgins it's giving you love ben higgins i love ben higgins but it's he does love you're obsessed a ben higgins that i don't have a weird personal investment in well they'll always be looking for their next ben and next sean but yeah like what do you think of this choice as bachelor are you excited for this season how do we feel about this i really liked zach he seems incredibly genuine he's i guess young but he seems very
Starting point is 01:00:06 emotionally mature and so even though he's on the younger side you see to me he came across as one of the more emotionally mature men on this season yeah i don't even think i ever noticed his age until it got brought up in one of the last couple episodes the fantasy suites yeah he's a very affable he's only 25 he's a very affable likable guy like, wait, he's only 25? Yeah, he's a very affable, likable guy. It's just always so shocking. I feel like maybe you relate to this. You reach certain phases of life where people either look five years younger than you or 10 years older than you and you're all the same age.
Starting point is 01:00:35 I'm like, I don't feel like we look the same age as Zach. Zach is like dad vibes. Zach could show up to pick up and it would be like they would give him a kiss. I show up to pick up, they're be like they would give him a kiss. I show up to pick up and they're like, oh, the nanny's here. He's got like a baritone voice too and he talks.
Starting point is 01:00:52 He's so pure. Such a pure man. I do wonder if Nate got asked to be the bachelor at all and if he got asked, if he was like, I don't want to leave my kid again. My understanding is that scandal if he was like i don't want to leave my kid again my understanding is that scandal that he was a part of ruined his chances the girlfriend another another girl
Starting point is 01:01:12 oh yes okay i believe they were talking to him about it i don't know how far and i can't i don't know for sure if that scandal actually stopped it from happening but I don't think it helped his, his chances. Yeah. For Zach. I hope for Zach, if I had a chance to give him advice, I, I hope that he spends a lot of time,
Starting point is 01:01:34 especially in the weeks prior to hometowns and specifically prior to the final four of checking in with the women, the opposite of what Clayton did and really asking how you're doing. I would love, I mean, this would go against great. And it's not just Clayton's fault because like they don't technically like it when you check in because that eliminates drama.
Starting point is 01:01:58 You know, the more you know, the more you can avoid, the less you know, the more you freak out. Yeah. You spiral. You spiral. You spiral. And so, but I would love it for Zach as much as he can
Starting point is 01:02:09 and they can edit out what they want or as much as, you know, to really check in with these women and to really ask them how they're doing and to really see, you know, and really,
Starting point is 01:02:18 if he just spent his whole time empathizing with them, I think that we need a bachelor that we are rooting for by the end of the season. Yeah. And that hasn't happened since me. And that's saying something, you know? I need to rewatch your season.
Starting point is 01:02:37 That was a blur. I know, right? It's like, who is this dude? Where did he come from? I'm rooting for Zach. Brianna, first impression rose. Oh rose oh hell yeah i voted for her she stole the room she walked out we were all like she stuck that polaroid into his jacket we were like she was also the most calm and and and the most charming obviously she's stunning
Starting point is 01:03:01 yeah and i i would i i would have been more like some of the other women who clearly were nervous uh but she she really she really uh uh she owned it so yeah funniest thing i was i'm still dying laughing about it i know what you're gonna say when we were waiting for like the results of it and they're like going and cat's just giving all these weird like eye little things and movements and sheena in the background goes look behind you and i're like going and Kat's just giving all these weird like eye little things and movements and Sheena in the background goes, look behind you. And I was like,
Starting point is 01:03:30 that's Kat's inner monologue. I love Kat's energy. There is so much of it. It is overflowing. Her facial reactions at every rose ceremony, like she's got to make it for at least a few of them
Starting point is 01:03:45 just for the facial reaction. She will be the female Justin. Don't get Botox. Oh, the female Justin. The female Justin, yeah. I also, when Christina walked out, I was like immediate hometowns. There's something about her vibe,
Starting point is 01:03:58 the cowboy boots, the whiskey. She has it kind of like confidence. Very likable. Yeah, I could see her going far definitely also can we talk about we were all reacting to this in the moment
Starting point is 01:04:09 how cruel it is to make him try to remember their names he couldn't even remember their names and we weren't on national television the four of us
Starting point is 01:04:17 none of us could remember their names they didn't tell him that his season like truly no he had no idea that was just sprung on him
Starting point is 01:04:23 they sprung on him that he was going to meet what four or five women off the bat and then they ask him if you can remember their names and he's like balin it took longer for jesse palmer to say your season starts now than it did for tino and rachel to break up yeah they were like we have 20 minutes producers in our ear just being like just just take 30 minutes stretch it out stretch it out um yeah they uh i think they needed like another segment or two yeah for their three hours but totally i was surprised they didn't cut back
Starting point is 01:05:03 to rachel and a Avon at some point. Like, did they leave? We wanted like a security camera footage of the two of them just like making out in the corner. Like, what are Rachel and Avon doing right now? Going to Dairy Queen. Literally not with each other is my guess. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:05:18 You're such a hopeless romantic. I hope they're at a dive bar. I know I am. I'm like, her phone's probably blowing up right now, so I'm going to wait. Find out. But I'm so curious. You need to text her now. I'm like her phone's probably blowing up right now so I'm gonna wait but I'm so curious you need to text her I'm so curious can you text her now should we just facetime her can you think of anyone Rachel wants to see less than you don't tell her you're with me
Starting point is 01:05:41 I don't think she's thrilled with me. Did you know Lyndon B. Johnson used to just whip out his wiener in urinals to intimidate, like, foreigners and other, like, diplomats? Well, aren't you supposed to when you pee? I don't know, but he was a president. Yeah, interesting point. At first, I was like, ew ew lyndon and then i'm thinking wait yeah in the urinal in the it was in the urinal i mean like in the oval office he just
Starting point is 01:06:13 whips it onto the desk you mean he like he goes up to the interval and stands like two feet away next one i wasn't there are you getting the bubbles not yet no bubbles yet. I'm sure she is. I said that. I literally said, I'm sure you're getting a million texts, but she's sending love.
Starting point is 01:06:33 She's checking in. See how my girl's doing. Can we keep LBJ into this episode? I'm fine with that. Sheena. Yes. Thank you for coming. Thank you for having me. Always always a pleasure you'll have to come
Starting point is 01:06:46 back excellent let me just say this is the first season i didn't ask rachel i didn't ask gabby i didn't look up any spoilers for you so i could come and do this show yeah because you and not have any like because when i had you on the show the first time i was like i know everything i know how it ends yeah you're like i, well, please come and recap. And then you were honest about the fact that you're spoiled. And I was like, well, I can't. We're spoiler free here. Next season.
Starting point is 01:07:11 Yeah. You were excellent, though. Thank you. So I hope you remain spoiler free. Okay. I will. And we would love to have you back. Yes, we'd love it.
Starting point is 01:07:18 Please let my audience know everything you're doing, all your podcasts, your show, anything. Yeah. Let the people know. know everything you're doing, all your podcasts, your show, anything. Yeah. So I have a podcast called Shenanigans with Sheena with Dear Media, new episodes every Friday. I'm wearing some of my merch right now that's going to be coming out this fall. So stay tuned for that. And then also I have a new lash line called Viva Verano. It's vivavaranolashes.com.
Starting point is 01:07:41 We've got three styles. We're going to be making some more. And yeah. We'll check it out. We're going to be making some more. And yeah. Well, check it out. Oh, yeah. Oh, and the wedding thing in Mexico. Oh, yeah. I got married.
Starting point is 01:07:51 Yes. And how's Brock? And my blog. Yeah. So every Wednesday, we do new YouTube vlogs and I'm posting my wedding this week. So you guys are going to see that.
Starting point is 01:07:59 Check it out. Yeah. Also, I have a book coming out on the 4th of October. It's called Don't Text Your Ex Happy Birthday. It's available for pre-order now. Just go to vilefiles.com. I think it's an excellent book.
Starting point is 01:08:13 I can't wait to read it. There's some good good in there. I actually wrote it. For all of you Bachelor fans who want to make fun of it, please pre-order the book. But also, I really think there's some helpful tidbits if if i mean any relationship you might be in i think there's something for everyone in there especially people going through it dating trying to get over someone either or maybe you're
Starting point is 01:08:36 not sure if you should stay in a relationship maybe you're not sure if you should move in with your partner maybe you're just having trouble with fuckboys and players or situationships whatever it is uh everything i wrote about i learned the hard way in the hopes that you guys wouldn't have to. So I hope you give it a chance. I also got to say, the cover's kind of giving Ryan Reynolds. Am I right? Well, he calls himself the Walmart version of Ryan Reynolds. I don't call myself that.
Starting point is 01:08:58 You don't? I was called that on my version. Allie calls you that? Apparently Allie calls me that. That is what their Twitter calls you that apparently Ali calls you that that is what I their Twitter calls me that wow I've never even seen that
Starting point is 01:09:10 but I looked right now I was like looks like Ryan Reynolds on the cover it's cute though right it is isn't it cute I'm taking it
Starting point is 01:09:17 and I'm gonna read it and I'll post about it and let you guys know what I think and if you know someone else who I can replace Ali with I'm just kidding this is gonna be my last episode of All Males it's been real post about it and let you guys know what I think. And if you know someone else who I can replace Allie with, I'm just kidding.
Starting point is 01:09:27 This is going to be my last episode of All About You. It's been real. But you talked about Lyndon Johnson and that's not nothing. Alright, well thanks for listening everybody. Don't forget tomorrow we have Harry Jowsey talking about his breakup. His newest breakup. His newest breakup. We'll be talking all about the Adam Levine scandal.
Starting point is 01:09:49 Love is blind. Lots to cover. Don't miss it. It's a great episode. Next week, Tina, the following Jason. Ask Nick every Monday. You don't want to miss it. We're trying to bring you the best show possible.
Starting point is 01:10:00 Rate, review, tell your friends. See you tomorrow. No, see you tomorrow. See you tomorrow. See you tomorrow. See you tomorrow no see you tomorrow see you tomorrow see you tomorrow bye

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.