The Viall Files - E545 Francesca Farago: Likable Villain Gone Bad

Episode Date: February 23, 2023

Welcome back to The Viall Files: Going Deeper Edition! Today we are joined by Perfect Match’s Francesca Farago to get the truth about her time on the show, if her portrayal was accurate, and the secrets other cast members were hiding. Which guy sent her a sweaty video saying “I’m coming for you” prior to filming? We dive into her matches on the show (does she feel like she led Dom on?), dating history (on screen and off), and her current relationship. We then have a Texting Office Hours caller who kissed her friend's coworker but isn’t sure if his follow up text is a red flag. We wrap up with Francesca and figure out what the future holds for her… engagement? Children? We get all the answers. “There was a full storyline that wasn’t shown.”  If you are interested in running a book club in your city, send an email to: [e-mail]  Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to [e-mail] to be a part of our Monday episodes. Join us for our new LIVE show on Thursdays at 9PM ET/6PM PT on Amp, available in the Apple app store. Android User? Listen here: https://www.onamp.com/ To Order Nick’s Book Go To: http://www.viallfiles.com If you would like to get some texting advice on Office Hours send an email to [e-mail] with “Texting Office Hours” in the subject line! To advertise on the show, contact [e-mail] or visit https://www.advertisecast.com/TheViallFiles Episode Socials: @viallfiles @nickviall @francescafarago @alison.vandam @liffordthebigreddog 

what's going on everybody welcome back to another episode of the vile files going deeper edition i'm your host nick joined by the fantastic trio of ali amanda and derrick how's everyone doing what's going on i feel like this is the closest i've gotten to like being an athlete that gets announced over the loudspeaker oh like starting yeah exactly forward position she's rough around the edge if you were a baseball player what would your walk-on music be is there signature songs for each of were a baseball player, what would your walk-on music be? Is there signature songs for each of them?

Yeah. Every baseball player has a walk-on song. They get to pick it. The closest thing I had to that was at a SoulCycle class for my birthday. The first song was

my personal anthem. Do you remember what it was, Amanda? It was High School Musical. It was High School Musical. Okay, that tracks. Thank you, Diego. Everyone good?

How's everyone's heart? How's everyone's heart? How's everyone's heart? Derek, how's your heart? My heart feels fuller now that we got called a trio instead of you guys just being a duo. That's a big step. Yeah. That's a big move.

I just did it. You want better than that? Derek's heart is full. Yeah. How's yours? As normal as ever So Excuse me

I have a I think I have a date tomorrow night You have a more of a pessimistic Heart I think I have a date tomorrow night A protected heart Unless I cancel it A more heavily protected heart

Wait who's your date with? I don't know Some random hinge person Okay I haven't even moved him out of the hinge DMs at this point Our date is tomorrow What's the potential scheduled date? We don't even know.

No plans? Well, we might go get drinks somewhere in our neighborhood. We live very close to each other. He is the type of person I've noticed in his profile. I think he looks very, you know, there's certain people who just look very different in every photo, just based on lighting, outfit. Oh, he has different. I just feel like he looks different in different photos.

But we did like a little video date. I told you I was going to use the hinge feature, the video chat in the hinge. I did that. How did it go? It was fun. You kind of had a date. Kind of. Yeah. It wasn't like... In the video, did he look...

Which picture did he look like? His best or his worst? I don't know if they're better or worse per se. I just think he looks a little different in all of his video i mean it was clearly him it wasn't like now you know what it looks like yeah are you feeling hopeful no apparently not she's not sure if she's gonna go i'm just very i just don't know how our day is gonna end up we have busy days this is right after better date Than Never? I guess. Yeah, speaking of, we have another episode of Better Date Than Never tonight.

And we don't know if Ally will be on a date tonight. We're recording this the day before. So be sure to check that out. Everyone's loving it. It's a lot of fun.

It's turning into kind of a sex and dating show. And like real sex talk. Not just like surface level stuff, but like the actual kinds of things that you like want.

We're good, isn't it? Sometimes don't feel comfortable sharing with people. Like put your headphones in if you're with your parents.

I smoked a little weed last week. Maybe I'll do it again. You know, getting loose on the show or drinking alcohol. Like have a good time with us.

9 p.m. Eastern, 6 p.m. Pacific. You know, it's wild stuff. Goddamn party. We have an amazing episode with Francesca Farago today.

Next week on The Bachelor Recap, Artem Mirim will be helping us recap The Bachelor. We also have Lala Kent from Vanderpump Rules. Next week I'm going deeper so you won't want to miss that. Update episode.

Oh yeah, the update episode is tomorrow. Thanks for reminding us, Derek. You can just let people know. Yeah, so we have a very exciting update episode is tomorrow. Thanks for reminding us, Derek. You can just let the people know. Yeah, so we have a very exciting update episode tomorrow. We know you guys love getting all the updates of the callers. And, like, you know, we've been really trying to follow the storylines of everyone. So, like, we want to give you guys the relevant updates. It's exciting stuff. Yeah, we're going to get more and more real-time updates.

And, like, follow-ups, ongoing things. Following the stories would be great. We know you guys love the updates so be sure to check that out tomorrow and much more to come so be looking out for all of that we also have a big announcement on the update episode regarding the show so don't miss that if nothing else we will open up within the first five minutes of a big announcement. Anyway, Amanda, what else we have to cover before we get to Francesca? Oh, well, there is also the Megan Fox.

Speaking of follow ups. Oh, Megan Fox has returned to Instagram. Welcome back. Well, we missed you dearly. We saved a seat for you, Megan. Please come on in. So she released right now. The only post that she has up is a notes statement.

And it says there has been no third party interference in this relationship of any kind. That includes but is not limited to actual humans, DMs, AI bots or succubus demons. Well, I do hate to rob you of running random baseless news stories that would have gotten much more accurately written by chat GBT. You need to let this story die and leave all of these innocent people alone now and then she's also um made statements because there's been a lot of speculation about like mgk cheating with one of his guitarists sophie something has the last name and she's like she's very talented and like basically like leave her out of this like don't fall into that trap of kind of like yeah discrediting this like female musician listen i love all of this and megan is more than entitled to her privacy and her personal life

despite being a public figure i just like why do what she did like she created the yeah she shined the light on the situation it's like standing up on a restaurant table and like stomping your feet in the middle of dinner and then being like why is everybody looking at me yeah there's a little bit of that energy you know and listen whatever she is going through maybe she was in a state of trauma or panic and hurt and pain and and that's how she responded only to to be like, oh, fuck. I made a bad situation even worse, and again, she's still,

regardless, entitled to that privacy, but maybe in the future, she won't delete everything. Go nuclear. Go nuclear. Quite so quickly. And when you're planning on asking for privacy.

Sure. Yeah. Hold on to your kilts, dearies. Peacock original, The Traitors, is back with a new season of strategy, betrayal, sabotage, and murder. This killer season features an all-new celebrity cast that Vulture hailed as reality royalty living in a Scottish castle for the ultimate murder mystery competition. stars in public figures battling it out for a whopping cash prize this season's cutthroat missions are next level just like whatever alan cumming pulls out of his brilliantly eccentric wardrobe one thing is for sure these 21 players will do anything to avoid a plot in alan's graveyard

find out why critics and audiences alike are raving about the emmy award-winning series the new york times is calling it a murder mystery with clothes to die for and Vox adding that it should be your new reality TV obsession. We are certainly obsessed. Stream every episode of Traders Now only on Peacock. Hey, we've got a secret. This podcast is supported by Apple's Never Fall, a chilling new mystery series from the author of Big Little Lies, starring Annette Bening, Sam Neill, Jake Lacey, and Alison Brie. It's sure to get people talking. What dark secrets lurk in this family? Tune in on March 21st to find out.

Apples never fall, exclusively on W Network and Stack TV. Well, another bad situation that's been unfolding has been, have you been following the Brooklyn Peltz? A little the Brooklyn Peltz? A little bit. Peltz? Whenever there's three consonants in a row. It's the Beckham wedding. Yeah.

The Beckham wedding. So there's two suits going on right now. They sued two wedding planners who were only there for nine days as planners because of the work conditions. And then the- The work conditions? So they referred to the father. Father of the work conditions and then the work conditions so they referred to the father father of the bride father they refer to the father of the bride as a billionaire bully and so there and they were saying there's like a ton of drama about the celebrity guest list

like basically that these were like obscene work conditions and they're releasing text messages because now with this being some sort of lawsuit, these are public public records. Yes. Nelson, who's the father of the bride, accused the wedding planners of not returning an one hundred and fifty nine thousand dollar deposit. OK. And then the two wedding planners filed a countersuit because of the work conditions, calling him a billionaire bully and seeking damages for breach of contract, which I'm assuming goes hand in hand with what they experienced. And they claim that his family put them through wedding planning hell, which if you're a wedding planner,

I think you're already used to a certain level of awful clients. Yeah, your tolerance is high. I mean, listen, I get you don't become a billionaire by giving away free money. And $160,000 is certainly a substantial amount of money to anyone but a billionaire, I suppose. But to a billionaire, it's about a nickel, so to speak. Yeah.

Give or take. You have to assume the ego around money, though, for billionaires is really high, where it's like, nobody fucks me over. So much that you're willing to make a public spectacle of your child's wedding of your kid's wedding uh which is clearly gonna get all this attention and you know because we're talking about royal invites and major celebrities yada yada yada and for what for for amount of money that is couldn't be more insignificant to you it's a huge bummer it's also like it's crazy because they he the dad also accused them he accused um grijalba of having a drinking problem and he cited a text that she sent uh and that's

one of the wedding planners yeah that's so yeah so he accused one of the wedding planners? Yeah. So, yeah. So he accused one of the wedding planners of having a drinking problem and cited a text that she sent to the bride that said, now I'm going for a tequila. My head is about to explode. And the bride responded, yes, queen! Several exclamation points. I don't think someone grabbing a tequila is a drinking problem. Speaking from personal experience. Also, I don't think he's in a position to...

Also, they got pulled in six weeks before the wedding. They got pulled in to one of the biggest weddings in pop culture six weeks beforehand because the original wedding planner fell through.

Already huge issue. And they quit after nine days. Or they stopped planning it after nine days. Clearly, nightmare. Everyone was probably needing a margarita if you're if you're brooklyn beckham does this worry you a little bit about like the

family you married into and the you know the type of fight you might be in if when you don't get along with uh your wife i don't know that's a good point they were working 17 hour days to meet the peltz's demands which included making the flower bouquets whiter how do you make a flower okay and creating a water dance floor like those are some of the demands i'm sorry but if you use if you lose your wedding planner six weeks before i think i'd just be grateful that anyone is like picking it up to your point i wonder if like brooklyn is kind of like well my family's pretty unique we have i'm i've grown up with the media circus with all the but i wonder if he sort of has this sense of i can take it whatever it is it's probably not crazier than the shit i have

going on but i don't know that he's right about that do you know why he probably needs 159 000 because they spent upwards on that for hair and makeup and apparently the mother of the bride asked the wedding planners not to tell the father of the bride that they'd paid more than 100k for hair and makeup oh my god that's the classic like hide one of the shopping bags in the car i don't know how to interpret this story any way other than father the bride sucks yeah totally totally totally totally well it's clear like just more money than God has lost touch with reality. Another kind of like controversial money topic is that Patrick Mahomes, Mazel Tov on the recent ring, and Brittany Matthews, his wife, had their two-year-old

daughter was celebrating a birthday and they gave her a 500K Chanel bag as a birthday gift. 500K? A half a million dollars no no no no no five thousand five k okay still ridiculous i mean i don't know you know he's super rich it's meaningless in the context of like you can spend your money on whatever you want i'm sure they've wasted far more doing far less yes you know but if this is a sign of how they plan on raising their child and and setting expectations of the type of gifts she can come to expect she might not handle disappointment very well in the future there is that right do we think because my first thought was like are you kidding me she's two years old she doesn't even understand it but that now i'm

like well maybe it's actually a little bit better to be doing this, like to give a 500K bag to a two, no, a 5K bag to a two-year-old versus like a 12-year-old. Well, the big question is, do they are, you know, the child's two now, so it doesn't really matter. But if this continues, do they relay the message to the child of the value of the purse and why it's special which i think would be a mistake yeah because as far as far as the kid knows it's just like this is a bag it's back like whatever what's the fucking difference yeah it's like you're just gonna put bubbles and the moment you start like saying this is really special this

is valuable and this is why this is more important than that and this is you know and then and that's when you have a spoiled monster on your hands yeah and i think there's far more risks my kids will know disappointment that's all i know i bet they will i bet you will be such a stickler i bet you will pick one thing and you'll be like that is the battle i will choose constantly and it will be like a real like we live in a world where people aren't learning how to be disappointed or learning about rejection and learning about like figuring you know uh fighting through adversity or earning the things you want rather than expecting the things you want yeah i do think there's a shit ton of that going around in our world this these days And if I'm lucky enough to become a father, I hope that I can do the opposite.

It's so true because I think I spend a lot of time thinking about hypothetical parenting scenarios. And I think so much about how hard it would be for me to not intervene if my child was having a rough time was having conflict was in whatever situation just like really struggling and for a while I would be so panicked about that but I was talking to my mom and I there was a point in time when like I was just like had mad undiagnosed learning disabilities and was like having a hard time in school which hadn't happened before and I was like were you worried about me like how did you like let me kind of like eat shit academically for so long? Like with like, it must've been so hard for you. And she was like, yeah, you were a phenomenal athlete.

Like I knew as long as your kid has certain areas where they're thriving that are like continuing to develop their self-esteem, it's really good for them to have some areas that are like a struggle and a challenge. Yeah. That blew my mind. Hold on to your kilts, dearies. Peacock original The Traitors is back with a new season of strategy, betrayal, sabotage, and murder. This killer season features an all-new celebrity cast that Vulture hailed as reality royalty,

living in a Scottish castle for the ultimate murder mystery competition. We're talking fierce competitors, reality stars, and public figures battling it out for a whopping cash prize. This season's cutthroat missions are next level, just like whatever Alan Cumming pulls out of his brilliantly eccentric wardrobe. One thing is for sure, these 21 players will do anything to avoid a plot in Alan's graveyard. Find out why critics and audiences alike are raving about the Emmy award-winning series. The New York Times is calling it a murder mystery with clothes to die for, and Vox adding that it should be your new reality TV obsession.

We are certainly obsessed. Stream every episode of Traders Now only on Peacock. Ladies and gentlemen. What are you doing? What do you mean? Just keep it simple. I'm making the promo. Just keep it simple.

Just say, hey, we're the Brav Bros. Two guys that talk about Bravo. Ladies and gentlemen, boys just say hey we're the brav bros two guys that talk about bravo ladies and gentlemen boys and girls we're the brav bros no oh dude

stop with the voice just keep it simple I've seen promos on TV dude this is how you get the fans engaged this is how you get listeners we're trying to get listeners here if we just say

oh we're two dudes that talk about bravo people are gonna get tired of it already we need some oomph alright then fine let's try to do it with your voice brav bros good job i don't have a segue you don't need well but i guess you know where this you know where people ride segways disneyland and you know where rebel wilson got engaged to her girlfriend ramona disneyland

really yes so shout out to the happy couple. What do we think? There are people who love Disney and there are people who hate Disney and there's no in between and clearly Rebel Wilson is someone who loves Disney and for all the people who get engaged at Disney it makes sense to those people that much I have learned and if you're not one of those

people you don't get it. Some people get married at Disney World. That's what I'm saying and she might. I doubt it. But if she does I wouldn't be shocked because it's truly like a magical place for the people who love it okay warm take not quite hot disneyland is the same thing as music festivals for more wholesome adults uh yeah maybe do you think they're doing molly last thing um that i wanted to just bring up and see where you guys fall just a fun little tidbit is have you seen the spoon thing on tiktok no so basically have you seen the teenage filter i'm obsessed what's this bunch of like you know people 40 and over who the teenage filter and it

shows you your teenage self and it's super accurate and super crazy and you have a bunch of like older people having this kind of like it takes them back in time it's like really beautiful the old face yeah and it's like this really sweet endearing moment they're like look at I miss you and like people talking to the young themselves and like, I wish I was kinder. It was, it's a really, Oh,

it's so, it's so sweet and wonderful. Like if you haven't, uh, if you're on Tik TOK and you haven't seen the, uh, teenage filter trend, it will make you,

it'll, it'll get you in your field. Your heart will swell. Your heart will swell. Check it out. All right. What's the spoon thing? So this is just, um, there's two spoons okay slightly different you can see the

curvature the angles etc and it's just which spoon would you pick and it is sparked so much easy the one on the right the one on the left i'm one on the right as well one on the left why because it's like more symmetrical. I have one spoon. I like the frame around it. No. Wow, it has almost, it has 886,000 likes. Millions of views. Millions.

Do you want to check? Is that exact? Like, are you the type of person, if you had a purely circle spoon, you'd still pick the one on the right? The left one's like closer to a circle. I'm looking at the handle. I like i'm looking at that i'm looking at the handle i'm not even looking at the the head so i'm looking at the head and what i gotta say about the or i like the tip it seems the tip of this head it seems too um it the angle is too

much like i have to open up my mouth too much yes yes and also like it would like the roof of your mouth would be more afflicted also you know as far as spoons you know as the worst spoons wendy's plastic spoons the the the cup of the head is too deep you can't have too deep of a cup bigger yeah bigger room for frosties yeah but when you pull it there's still there there's still, you get debris left behind. No, give me the circles all day, every day. Give me those deep trenches. Derek, which spoon did you gravitate towards?

I want my utensils to be surgical, you know? So on the right. Say more about that. So on the right. It looks more surgical. It's like I don't want something too big or like, you know what I mean? Fine, I'll quit now. I want to know exactly what I or like, you know what I mean? I'll quit now. I want to know

exactly what I'm doing, you know? No, it's deeply, nobody can be right about this. It's deeply intuitive. If you like a vegetable noodle soup than maybe the one on the left, you might get more like,

you know, carrots and celery with each bite. Yeah. Or even like a tomato soup where it's like thin so you need more of like a well to catch it.

The left might be better for soup, but everything else. Gotta be the right. Yeah, I love a good soup spoon because they're more symmetrical. Like the circle ones. That's when I'll know I've made it

is when I have specific soup spoons. Well, just like that's what they're like labeled. I don't have my own, but I do have one that I like, someone left at my apartment in college and I moved it to LA with me because it's a perfect circle. That's awesome.

That was in comments. Wild stuff. All right. at my apartment in college and I moved it to LA with me because it's a perfect circle. That's awesome. That was in comments. Wild stuff. Uh, all right. Well, uh, again, don't forget another episode of better date than never starts tonight at 9 PM Eastern. Check it out. Uh, go to our socials for the links to the show.

I hope to see you there. It's a ton of fun. Bring your friends, bring your drinks, get raunchy with us. Get raunchy with us. The chat was blowing up you'll find community we basically spent a whole hour like responding people's unhinged comments it's hilarious uh let's get to francesca francesca welcome how are you i'm good how are you'm great. How's your heart? Um, you know, like been better, I think. Been better?

Yeah. Okay. Like my love, my love life's amazing, but. Sure. Yeah. But like currently you're kind of going through, you know, it's that weird world for the people who have, who, who film reality TV and then there's that kind of holding period and then you, like, you know what happens.

Yeah. But you don't know what's going to be shown. how it's going to be shown yeah the music's that's it's going to be shown with yeah and and how it's going to be received yeah and now you're kind of going through that experience of finding that all out finding it all out yeah what's that been like after too hard to handle i learned to not stress myself out before the show comes out because you can be stressed so much about a scene that won't even be shown. So I was like, I'm not going to bother to worry about things because you never know how it's going to be edited together or what's going to be shown, what's not going to be shown. So I went into a very open minded and I was like, oh, I'm actually not too stressed.

I know what I did. I know what I said. I know what I did. I know what I said. And as long as both sides of me are shown, then I think what I was planning to do when I went there will be like perceived well by everyone. But after learning about the episodes and seeing things, I'm like, oh, that's, that's not what I was expecting. But I think it like, it is what it is, you know, I kind of just have to like ignore it so when you left the show you have a big personality a sharp tongue you're smart and witty and snarky and um edgy edgy so what were you hoping the how do you how were you hoping the audience would receive

uh you given what you knew to be true when you recorded i was assuming that it would be more of like an genuine honest tell it how it is kind of like very likable villain was what i was going for and why i went i knew that there was going to be some comments that some people wouldn't be happy with but i thought generally overall how I was when I was filming. I was like, as long as they show certain things, then people are going to perceive me well. But obviously I didn't get to pick what was shown and what wasn't shown. Likeable villain's tough. I would say that's the toughest role to accomplish because it requires a partnership.

to accomplish because it requires a partnership yeah i think i was going for likable villain and i think the likable was kind of taken out so now it's just villain which is not what i was going for but i mean there's nothing i can do about it now so well i'll be honest when i watched it there were a handful of moments where i was just like oh francesca like fuck you know like so maybe we could just kind of go through some of those moments okay and i'll kind of give you my read on it and then i would love to know what was your intention and what would you do differently given like how it seemed to affect other people because like that's the thing i think sometimes we go on these shows and i think it's like, it is a TV show, right? But it's this weird TV show that's real-ish, right?

Because like everyone knows, you know, with social media and the things that can come from being a character and a successful character and a star on the show, like comes opportunity. And yet these environments are structured to create real emotions and feelings and two things can be true at the same time where you can be like yeah i mean like i'm killing a tv show but holy shit i think i like this person you know you literally got engaged the first time and i'm

assuming there was some genuineness in that relationship and yet i'm sure at times on too hot to handle you're like ah fuck it it's a tv show let's say some shit i think i was more like that on perfect match like too hot to handle i was definitely more emotional sure and i regretted it after and i was like i wish i just had more less emotions in it because of like the two years after that it took me to get over everything so i think going into perfect match i was more guarded and i was more like all right fuck'm just gonna, you know, do what I have to do to like be funny and create relationships, but I'm gonna stay with my guard up because of what happened on Too Hot to Handle.

I was like scared for it to happen again. Yeah, I feel like, yeah, I think that's the problem sometimes when you return to these shows, you know too much. Ignorance is really bliss because you can truly just be your most authentic self yeah as much as you can in these kind of crazy worlds but when we have experience you kind of over edit yourself or you yeah try to be funny or you try to be the lovable villain and things like that and that's where they kind of get you yeah i think as well like being in that show with

everyone else who had been on a reality show there was like maybe two people that were kind of new to the universe that their shows hadn't come up come out yet but everyone else was like experienced so everyone knew what they were doing the first moment where i was like francesca what the fuck was when you got in a fight with savannah when she made a move on Dom. And in that moment, I'm thinking, you had the upper hand. You had the relationship with Dom and she was trying to swerve on you. So here you have the upper hand and I'm thinking, all you had to do was kill her with kindness. And then like, hey, I just want to be real with you. I've been hanging out with them and i like them and i hear you like you made a move and like you can do whatever you want but like you hurt my

feelings yep and instead you kind of mean girled her yeah um yeah that approach would have been a smarter approach sure of course i think there was a lot of build-up leading up to that a lot of build-up that didn't make the edit. And it was like days on end of like, I felt personally bullied by her the whole time and everyone else was agreeing with me. So there was like a full storyline that wasn't shown about why. What was that?

We'd love to hear what wasn't shown. That she had a boyfriend during filming. So everyone knew, everyone knew she had to go home and it was the build-up so I knew she was just going after Dom to just spite me so took like five tequila shots and I was like let's go let's do this and everyone was amping me up to have the conversation I was very pushed to do it and I was like okay I'm gonna do it and then I sat down and I just word vomited I think and I don't think I talk like I definitely don't talk like that in my real life and I just word vomited, I think. And I don't think I talk like, I definitely don't talk like that in my real life.

And I don't know why I said certain things. And I watched a little bit of it back and I was like, what am I even saying? Like, it didn't even really make any sense. Like, I didn't even have a formulated argument. Like, I should have just thought about it before. Yeah, you definitely were just trying to throw punches. Yeah, but I was like really upset

with who that person was. And I still definitely something like really irks me about this person. So. When you say this person Savannah. Yeah. I just don't like saying her name. Oh. Can I say her name?

Yeah. You can say her name. You don't have to say her name. She can be Voldemort. I mean. Yeah. You can call her Voldemort. Yeah.

I don't know. I just don't. There was like days of buildup. Yeah. I don't know. I just don't. There was like days of buildup to this and I knew she didn't have good intentions and I knew she had a boyfriend and I was like, what are you even doing? You're trying to start drama.

But good for her. Like she is attached to me and that's like her one claim to fame right now. So now she's off and we don't ever have to speak about her ever again. Okay. But so your friends pushing you to kind of confront her is that where that line where you said uh and like

it didn't help you out but it was also kind of funny you're like well if you stay like all my friends are gonna hate you kind of thing yeah i don't even know why i said that it was kind of great i thought it was i think it's because like i definitely didn't help you out because that that that came across as very kind of mean girl yeah very high school kind of great i thought it was i think it's because like i definitely didn't help you out because that that that came across as very kind of mean girl yeah very high school kind of approach i remember i had confrontations on other um like love is blind and too out to handle there's other confrontations where i was very chilled and i didn't say anything when people were confronting me or doing something and i was like okay, okay, if I ever have that again, I'm going to actually say something. And I just realized I'm just bad with confrontation.

Like I'm not confrontational at all, even though I really seem like it in that scene. So when it comes up, I'm just, I just don't handle it properly. I don't think. Going back, I would have just not even bothered because she's not even worth my time at all. Okay. I would have just like let her go home and that would have been it. And she did. Yeah.

Yeah. But she got that little bit of relevance on her way out. So shouldn't have just like let her go home and that would have been it she did yeah yeah but she got that little bit of relevance on her way out so shouldn't have given that to her if she's not relevant in general then i don't think you have anything to worry about yeah yeah of your castmates which ones did you feel like were maybe more coming from this landscape of like strategic and which ones did you think were much more in the kind of like i'm genuinely looking to see if i can find a romantic connection here um i think carousel was genuine with what she was finding with joey was joey genuine i would probably say no but what the fuck what joey yeah i mean i know stuff that explain i know what happened after i know everything so

because me and carol carousel are really really close so but joey kind of mentioned that you and joey had oh yeah no he like he made that seem way more what it was than it wasn't that like didn't even count and he the fact that he kept bringing it up to make it look like a thing i'm like notice how i didn't mention it once because Because I was like, I'm just going to pretend that never happened. And he made it such a thing. I'm like, you're gross. Like, stop. This was a quote while watching the show from someone in the room.

While watching Perfect Match about Joey. And the quote was, he is repulsive in every way that you can be repulsive. Yeah. It was a dark time. It was a dark time. It was one time. We all have stains on our resumes. Yeah. It was a dark time. It was a dark time. It was one time. We all have stains on our resumes.

Yeah. One time, four in the morning, I was depressed because of Harry and I was like, whatever. And I regretted it

and I instantly cut it off and never talked to him again. And then he did some shady shit so I didn't like him and then he's going around. What'd he do? He just went up to someone and was,

I don't know, I didn't want to get into it. It was just shady. Okay. Yeah. I mean, know I don't want to get into it it was just shady so okay yeah I mean I'm just teasing like I said

we all have stains in our resume yeah so that's a bad stain it's a yeah it's it's a stain

yeah live and learn live and learn what are you gonna do Dom on the other hand yep very sexy yeah

very attractive very sexy guy what's up attractive. Very sexy guy. What's up with that? What was up with that relationship? Because Dom, fan favorite. I really liked him. Also a sexy crier. Yeah.

I wish I could cry like him. Yeah, he does have a nice crying face. He has a nice cry. It's a good crying face. But he seemed genuinely into you. Yeah. And it very much came across as you used him to wait for Damien. That's how that came across.

Yeah. Is that what happened from your mind? Like how did you and Dom happen? And at what point, because in my experience in this type of world, especially like, so like perfect match is essentially bachelor in paradise with like without roses bachelor in paradise meets love island yeah right yeah and especially when it comes to people who know each other and alumni's everyone knows who's showing up they might not know when and shit like that so when i'm watching i'm thinking like

francesca knew that damien was going to show up the whole time she was just kind of waiting for him and you even said on the show it's just like as soon as i saw him i knew i was going to go on a date with him so like from your standpoint do you feel like you led dom on a little bit or or is reality not the same from what we saw versus what you happened um i think well from day one i, like, definitely the best guy in the house. So I was immediately attracted to him and, like, his style. Like, he just, like, he paints his nails. He dresses really nice. Like, he kind of is, like, more of a gender neutral.

Like, we went to a premiere and he wore a skirt, and I thought that was really sick. So overall, the vibes, I really liked his vibes. And then he started to, like like fall really quickly for me. I love when people are obsessed with me, but I think it was a lot early on and my energy just wasn't matching it. Like I wasn't as obsessed as he was with me and he would say certain things like about like our future and stuff like that. And I had only known him for a few days at that point. So I was like, oh, wait, maybe that's a little bit too heavy for me right now.

And I noticed myself like kind of taking a step back. And yeah, knowing I was trying to block out that I knew Damien on the board. I didn't think I was going to bring him in for myself. I thought that someone else might have would have brought him in. And I didn't know it was going to happen that early but knowing that that was looming over my head was also factoring into me not being able to go full force and I just knew that I had to like end it and move on so like he could find someone else because I just I don't think I could have ever got there like we have like a friendship now we're great friends now and i think he's amazing but we didn't have that like romantic gotcha so it wasn't like

it wasn't totally fake no you genuinely tried to date him yeah and yeah totally relatable like you know he went a little hard to the paint and kind of almost suffocated you yeah with his intensity yeah which tracks with the whole like i love you after you broke up with him yeah which you know we've all been there we've all kind of said some crazy shit in a very vulnerable state i don't think he meant that what do you mean like i think maybe he said that but i feel like he regrets saying that he loved me well i i would believe that but in the moment yeah in the moment i believe he believed it yeah and i think you know, we do that shit, especially in that environment. We had only known each other for a few days, though.

Yeah, that environment is made to make you confuse other feelings of intensity with love. Everything's going on, and you're so obsessed with the idea of, like, finding someone in that environment. Like, when I met my ex, I was so obsessed with the idea of being that love story and, like, having, like, a TV show where I could show my kids in the future where I met, you know, their dad. That's a real thing. Yeah. You think about, oh, if this works out, what a beautiful way to show our love to our kids. I had the same fucking feelings. And you like ignore some red flags because you're like, no, no, this love story is like one of a kind.

Like I need to like make it work. Totally. So I think he was like kind of in that mindset as well, as well with his relationship with Georgia. My least favorite thing you did. Oh, God. There's a lot. But this is my least favorite thing.

Oh, God. After you and Damien came back. Okay. And Georgia saved Dom. Mm-hmm. It seemed like you weaponized dom's vulnerability maybe against him and tried to make yourself the victim in a in a situation you were very much not the victim yeah because you kind of went on and on about how but he said he he told me he loved me and now he's here with georgia

and like and as you kind of pointed out now is like he probably was just showing his emotional immaturity yeah in that state but you kind of decided to use that vulnerability against him to try to better your position in the house i did skim through these scenes a little bit i didn't watch the whole thing because i was like that's horrible i can't even watch this but um there was like full conversations and so say the conversation would be like oh I'm I love the wood the wood's so amazing it's so happy with the table but it makes me a little bit uncomfortable because I the table loves me but like the wood and the table are great but like if I'm uncomfy a bit like it was certain things chopped out of the conversation

and certain things that were focused on instead so there was a lot of talk but literally every single thing that they focused on with me and the whole show everything that came out of my mouth was like negative anything positive that i said chopped out so even though i do agree i do agree with you like i was salty after and i don't even know why i i didn't realize like watching a little bit of it back I was like was that even how it happened like that's not how I remember it happening but I I did say certain things and I was like why did I say that like how did I say that like it must have been such a long thing that I said and they chopped it up but yeah I shouldn't have um been so salty I don't even know why i was i think

i was just trying to be funny but it didn't come across as funny it came across as rude so yeah that's all we could do is recognize our mistakes and yeah and own them damien yeah i i uh i definitely agreed with dom when he said to you that guy yeah i don't know much about damien i didn't watch his season of love is blind yeah i do i think you said uh do you stand by the quote when you said oh he was on love is blind so they must be really looking for love i mean i know that's an insane environment to participate in love is blind but do you give a do you give a genuine right reasons pass to all love no no no definitely not all okay i mean i've met some of them and i know some of them definitely were not Do you give a genuine right reasons pass to all Love is Blind contestants? No, no, no, no.

Definitely not all. I mean, I've met some of them and I know some of them definitely were not there for love. But I think Damien was in his season. I did watch his season because it came out before Too Hot to Handle. So I thought he was super genuine. And then when I met him, I was like, this is the nicest guy I've ever met. I think what happened in the reunion was horrible for him. And how they portrayed it was not actually how it went down.

He did some things that he maybe could have said properly or said in a different way. But there was a lot of stuff in that Love is Blind reunion that was fully taken out that really villainized him. And the Damien that I know was not that villain. So, stopped talking to him right after because I was waiting for an apology. And when I got that apology, I was like, I just gave him like a shot again. Sure. And why did you give him a shot? I was just surprised that you were even interested.

I think when you're in that type of environment and like, so when we went to the filming, we didn't know that we knew the concept of the show. Everyone that was on the show knew it was a dating show. Every single person that was there. We knew it was a dating show. We knew there was a competition element, but we didn't know what it was. So when the rules dropped, I was told that we would not be sharing rooms with men. I was told it would be girls and boys, separate houses. So I was like, perfect, I'll do it, but I'm not going to do it if I'm having to share a room because I had to do it with my ex on a show and I regretted it. So when the rules were dropped that we had to match up and go sleep in

the same bed, I bawled my eyes out for like a day. All of that wasn't shown. So I think- So you really had to spend the night. That was a weird- I was literally crying.

I was like, I can't do this. These guys are just going to try and sleep with me. I don't want to be here. So you had to hang out all night in these rooms? With these people

that we didn't know. Yeah. Yeah. When I first started watching all this, is this really happening? I was like, am I not paying attention? It's like, am I missing a whole scene where they're choosing to go to the bedroom?

Because it's like people would match. They would like swerve. They'd be like, hey, I'm going to go from here to here. And then immediately they're walking into a bedroom. Is that what would happen? Is that happening in real? That actually happened that way? You'd get ushered up right away.

Like right when you matched, you'd have to go to your room. What would happen in these rooms? Usually like a cameraman would follow you and then would just watch you like either talk or make out if people were making out. But usually people weren't making out. Did you have to stay there all night? Yeah, we shared rooms. Yeah. So it was really uncomfy and I didn't want to do it.

And that's another reason why I liked Dom because I knew he was like comforting and that makes sense but when i because i knew otherwise you're just spending a night with fucking stranger yeah yeah yeah so it was it was a lot and i don't think a lot of people were comfortable with it and a lot of people didn't know that that was the fact when they left for filming and i probably wouldn't have done the show if i knew that that was the way that it was going to be done because it's just not like i didn't want to be involved in something like that like but I ended up Dom was so respectful so I didn't have to worry and then I knew Damien for like years so I have a comfort level with him like where we have a friendship level basis so when he came in I just felt like myself it was like a breath of fresh air I was like okay like I know you we can do I was like, okay, like, I know you. We can do this

together. Like, I like you. I know we have a connection. So it was just like, it was a whole, I bawled my eyes out for days. I bawled my eyes out on the date with Dom, in the boardroom, the night before, because everyone knew that that was what was going to happen the next day. Like, it wasn't a surprise that I went on went on that date really but all the emotional scenes were cut to make me look like a savage which I was a savage it was savage of me to do that but I knew that I would just feel so much better being paired with Damien because I just had that sense of like hominess with him yeah would you have handled the uh conversation with Dom kind of letting him like the breakup conversation the same way i didn't

watch that you didn't so here's how it kind of came across is it was like you didn't give him the hard breakup you gave him like the soft breakup okay which was kind of like hey i'm gonna kind of go keep hanging out with damien oh yeah i remember it actually I don't think we ever like fully said like it wasn't a full like it kind of came across as like you were giving him enough bad news that you then wanted him to break up with you so you didn't have to break up with him that's not actually how it went down but from what I remember actually living it I I never actually told him that I wasn't picking him it It just, I went to speak to Damien and I don't even remember really what happened.

I think then he paired with Georgia or something. That's how it read. It kind of read like he just assumed. Yeah. He was like, you can't fire me, I quit. Yeah, maybe. But to be honest, it sounded like that was your intention. Like you didn't give him the i think it's a direct

answer i was really undecided um up until like the very last second i i have a general question this is like less about show and a critique or whatever but this is more a societal question i'm curious about when you were in dom we're in that room talking about damien and you kind of like dropped the bomb on him it's like i kind of i think the boardroom yeah the boardien and you kind of like dropped the bomb on him. I was like, I kind of, I think. The boardroom. Yeah, the boardroom. And you wanted to go out with Damien. Dom's approach was more of a, all right, well, you're your own person.

And obviously I can't stop you, which is obviously like factually true. You know, he wasn't going to actually stop you. And he just kind of had this more, guess pick me energy you know and you're seeing that i think more and more uh you see a lot of that in bachelor nation from the guys now like the guys in the past season started to pivot and they almost like whether it's strategic or not but they were just more going to be the well you know if you don't want like um they just play the sad boy role all the time and i'm and this is a question for all the ladies in the room in that moment would you have found it

to be more attractive for dom to more assert himself with what he really wanted and so instead of saying to you well you know i'm sad about it and i don't like this but like you know you're gonna go on this date and just let me know when you're done with that date if you still want to be with me as opposed to him saying listen we've spent like the past week together and in this world that's a lot and i've really loved this connection that we built and i feel strongly about you but if you're telling me that you don't feel the same and you want to date someone else like go do your thing i respect that you don't owe me anything but i i don't want any like we're good you know if you go on a date with here if you go on a date with damien there's no more us here

because you should know enough about me to know like like, do you want to prioritize me? Do you want to invest in me? Or do you want to shop around? Because he basically was like, go shop around and I'll be waiting here. And I'm just wondering what kind of energy from men do you find more attractive? Do you find it attractive for a guy to kind of give you that leash to shop around and treat himself like an option? Dom treated himself like an option and not a choice in that moment yeah or would you have found it more attractive for him to be like i know my worth and i know i'm a catch and we've

had a great week and go do your thing but i'm done if you go yeah well for me that's how i would have behaved if it rolls were reversed and he put himself on a date, I would have ended it because I have like a very small tolerance for that. And I want to be put first no matter what. But it's hard to say because you also you want a man who's like secure enough to like let you explore it. And it is a dating show. So you want someone who's going to be like, yeah, go do it.

But I'm going to be here. And I know I'm the I know I'm a catch. So do your thing but i'm the catch i don't know it's hard to say exactly yeah it's like a little bit of both it's like a thin line like you don't want to be with someone who's too aggressive but you also don't want to be with someone who's too like a puppy dog yeah i don't mean toxic or controlling or in any way implied into ownership it's just more like listen like you're make your choice yeah but i know my worth yeah and i want somebody who chooses me and i don't want someone who knows after spending an

entire week with me in an incredibly tense environment where all we're doing is connecting if you don't know that by now then you're just not going to know that and i'm not going to sit around and wait for you to go date someone and let me know if you still want to pick me after shopping around. I don't think Dom's like that. I don't think he will. I think now he's like that after everything he's been through and he's been through a lot, not even with just me. He's been through a lot since the show came out and since we finished filming that don't have to do with me at all. But I think now he's probably going to have more of that energy

because maybe before when I was younger, I was more like the Dom on the show, but now I don't tolerate anything. Like not even like a little slip up I won't tolerate. So I think he's more savage now, but you have to learn. It's like a learning curve. Like you don't know your self-worth

and you don't know what you should put up with until you've like been through it and like been stomped on a little bit. Yeah, I'm curious for for the even the people listening like what what do you find more attractive like in that moment what would turn you on more or what would make you reconsider what you would what you're risking i think self-awareness and honesty which i maybe your think is like a cop-out answer but like someone if someone has like the emotional intelligence and self-awareness to be like I know if you go on this date I will forever have a narrative in the back of my mind that like you're always going to be looking for

a better option I think it would really shake our connection like I think if someone could just be really transparent about how they felt versus like I'm not worried about it like go on the date I'll be waiting for you when you come back like Like if it's meant to be with us, this date won't matter. Like I just would want them to be able to communicate and identify like their own actual perspective on it. I think in the dating show realm, you have to be okay with someone going on another date because that's what

we're there to do. Cause it would be really boring show if no one did that. But in the real world, no unacceptable, but on a dating show. Yeah. because it would be a really boring show if no one did that. But in the real world, no, unacceptable. But on a dating show, yeah. Because that was a theme on Bachelor in Paradise last season where a lot of the women were like, no, I want you to not want me to go. Anything else I'm missing on the perfect match front

that we want to ask Francesca before we get into her now current life, her love life? She's in a thriving relationship. Well, I was curious about how the show had bi women on it and how it sort of like complicated the your classic hetero dating show. And so I'm curious, one, if there was anything that wasn't shown and two, like how you felt that was handled both like in terms of like your own experience and also how people in the house were making sense of it. I didn't really watch this episode too much. The little bits that I did see, I think,

seemed normal. Like, how did it come across? How would you say it came across? I don't know. I just feel like I so rarely see like bi people. I know. So I think just inherently seeing people, I was like, yay! Yeah, I feel like everyone in the house was was everyone in the house was very like excited and happy overall I loved like that relationship that I had with her and it was like the best time like it was such a breath of fresh air I was like get me out of this house with these stinky men and the fact that I was with a beautiful woman I was like this is just how it was meant to be like I just felt like it was just more me and I'm glad that it happened it definitely

was a little bit of a struggle to make it happen I was kind of dropping hints a little bit and production was very happy and willing to accommodate that so it definitely switched up the whole situation though because then it made 12 people in the house instead of 10 so we had to take all of our bags out of like the luggage room and move them downstairs into like Nick Lachey's little studio and like use that extra room for sleeping so it definitely and like for the challenges they had to add an extra spot for challenges so it was definitely a lot of work on their end to make it work but they made it work so I was I was happy about that because I know Damien was very like supportive of you going on a date with a woman maybe less supportive about you going on a date with someone else but like

the fact that it was a woman didn't seem to be an issue for him like i'm curious in your relationships ways that partners have made you feel really like supported or embraced with your identity and ways that partners have kind of like like little microaggressions or things that they've done inadvertently that make you feel less comfortable i did date so actually last time i did your podcast remember i talked about how i don't know if you remember you probably don't remember but i talked about how i dated like an athlete i was talking about how i just got out of a relationship it was like in december and he was like professional athlete and how he was like the worst person ever okay so this person was very insecure about like me even like having girlfriends at that point because he was like oh well you're

attracted to women so i and now i'm skeptical about the your women relationships as well so basically no friends yeah he was very was very, no guy friends. Yeah, it was honestly a horrible relationship. Very controlling with men and women. Like if I was speaking to a friend, he would have been like, well, did you sleep with them? And I'm like, no.

But if I like had made out with them, he wasn't comfortable with me talking to them. And I was like, it just doesn't work like that. So that was the only relationship that I was in that wasn't supportive, but everyone else has been amazing. Like usually people are very, like Damien was supportive. I think when I watched a little bit

of the episode he seemed a little bit more upset than I remember him being um he was very happy to match with Inez he was very happy to just be there in general so he didn't show me that he was upset at all but he seemed a little bit upset when I re-watched the episode back but I was just happy to do it I've seen some things people are asking you know like the hypocrisy between you being kind of not upset but like you didn't love the fact that dom and savannah were talking and then quickly after went on the date with damien yeah do you feel like that was hypocritical i mean i think i did things that were hypocritical but savannah was a snake and she was so rude to me and she had a boyfriend so that whole situation was more based on me not liking her like if he had talked to anyone else i wouldn't have cared got you and

everyone else would have asked me if they could talk to him and i would have been like go for it yeah but it's just the fact that it was her it was like trying to trap him down it was just yeah yeah he could go talk to anyone else i wouldn't have cared because i know my self-worth but it's because i didn't like her and she was shady to me the whole time and the fact that she had a boyfriend i was like what is she's just doing this to shade me she's doing this to be rude so i'm gonna call her out and obviously i called her out could have done it more appropriately but yeah it's just the fact that it was her it could have been anyone else i wouldn't have cared anyone else show up with a significant other um yeah chase he that he did head in fact yeah have one yeah the vacation

tiktok girl girl yeah I didn't have physical proof but a lot of other people were like I just talked to his girlfriend like last week or something

so couple people that we covered previously or had on the show Shane and Bartice both polarizing characters

you had them here Shane none of this particular studio Bartice was virtual you know controversial polarizing.

A lot of people had some strong opinions about them. I've gotten to know Shane. I quite like Shane. Certainly he has his issues and his flaws and he's pretty quick to own those. But I find him to be authentic. Bertice, I know very little about. I'm curious, you can comment on them or other people,

but who are the people who you really were drawn to who feel like maybe were misrepresented on their initial runs and who maybe were people who might not be as great in person as they maybe came across on TV? So who got a good edit and who got a bad edit? Sure. However you want to frame it. Okay. Well, I didn't, none of us knew shane or bartice really when we went to filming shane a little bit because we saw a little bit of love is blind but bartice went from filming to our show so we saw like him do like hey my name's

bartice like i like this this this like i would love to come in the house like that's also all we saw was a video i was like i'm sorry for interrupting but bertice was like i'm most famous for like saying no at the altar i'm like no that's not what you're most famous for i think it's because when when he said that when when we filmed his show wasn't out yet so he had no idea how it was how you know come across yeah you're most famous for like being kind of like not self-aware super insecure teresa because you perceived a woman to be below you yeah super insecure he did try to like come at me once and i like shut him down really quick like negatively but from what i could see of him hopping around i didn't know his character but i was so consumed with what i was with what i was

doing that i wasn't really focused on what bartiz was doing but from what he did in the last few episodes i don't think it's been shown yet um i was like oh this dude's savage but savage good or savage bad probably bad um i also think shane is crazy like he is nuts yeah he's nuts and i don't know shane in person shane i know reality tv shane because i know he was playing up certain things for the show you think he was playing for sure okay yeah in what way um because i gotta say in person i only know him in person he's outrageous yeah he would say like oh it's gonna be a good storyline you know like sure so i was like aware yeah self aware very self-aware but he's nuts he's like if you cross me oh i'm coming for you full force like

he's very like intense and he was intense during filming like it was every time i had a conversation with him i was like like this guy's a lot yeah like i remember after like the date i put him i put chloe on a date and he like i don't know if it was shown but he like came up to me and was like why'd you do that and i was like well she asked me to put her on the date so that's why i put her on the date he's a reactive guy yeah but yeah that's all i know i know he's like a lot to handle so anyone else that uh you feel like you want to set the record straight either good or bad in their favor or i think damien's a little cringy but he's a great guy okay overall good morals came across really poor on the reunion but overall i think he's a great guy other than he's like you know a little cringy sometimes the videos he posts are kind of cringy um he needs a social media

manager but everyone else let me think chase um no he's just as shady as he's shady right yeah yeah he like dm'd me before we left for filming too and was like i'm coming for you and i was like no i was like no you're not yeah right You think that that's not going to happen? You're delusional. Even if you thought that, like that line. I think it was like a selfie video

of him walking on a treadmill like sweating, like, yeah, Fred, I'm coming for you. And I was like, delete.

Yeah, like you could have been like, hey, I'm really excited to get to know you. Like, I'd love to take you on a date, but it was like sweaty treadmill coming for you.

I was like, that's not hot. Like, I don't want that. That's what you submit as evidence for a cry. Where did Francesca go? I think, yeah, I think certain people got certain bad edits on their show. And I don't know. I feel like everyone was kind of the same, mostly. I feel like you don't even have to answer this.

I'm just going to say it. Okay. You can respond however you want uh in the scene where uh you walked and you weren't you probably wouldn't even know the answer because it was the moment you walked in with damien okay carousel and joey were making out hard on the couch and as soon as you walked in she did like a jump scare immediately stopped making out with them and then joey's like do I have something on my lips? And I think that entire scene was staged. Like they knew you were about to walk in and they like, how about you guys make out

and do a hard make out? And then she's just gonna like- I don't know. Completely pivot. I think we- I feel like that was an insanely staged scene, but that's just my read. Certain things they would place us in certain areas

if someone was walking in. Sometimes they would just walk in and we had no idea that they were walking in. So things, they would place us in certain areas if someone was walking in. Sometimes they would just walk in and we had no idea that they were walking in. So because I was the one walking in, I don't know if they knew that we were coming or not. So it could have been. Okay. They were hot and cold the whole time.

Like they were either hated each other or loved each other. So if they were heavily making out, I don't know, maybe. Yeah. Let's talk about your love life now. Okay. Jessie. Yeah. You seem really in love

yeah yeah uh how'd you guys meet um i interviewed him for tiktok pride two years ago this summer okay yeah what was the interview about i was hired to host like a tiktok live pride event so i interviewed three trailblazers who were doing really well in the queer community on tiktok jesse was the third person that I interviewed. And then what happened? We met over Zoom and then we like just instantly like during the Zoom, we're like gravitating towards each other. Like the whole time we were just staring at each other. So I DM'd him after and I was like, hey, what's up? And then we like DM'd back and forth. He gave me his number. And then we basically like FaceTimed and talked on the phone like almost every single day before I got back to L.A.

So we just hit it off. And I remember right after the Zoom, like I got off the Zoom and I was running around the house and I was like, this is going to be my new boyfriend. Like I knew it right away. So when I got back to L.A., we started dating right away and then I got deported basically. So I got stuck in Canada for more for four months. And then we broke up and then during this time when we broke up is when i started dating that that loser athlete who we hate okay we just talked about and then i ended that with him and then i got back i did this when i

did your podcast and then me and jesse started talking again we remained friends but at that point i knew i was leaving to film perfect match so i left for filming and then right when i got back i hit him up and I was like, Harry, you still single? So we just reconnected right after the show. What is your favorite thing about the relationship? How easy it is. How loving we are and how just it's so easy.

It's like, I think we've argued maybe two or three times in the past, like, year and a half that we've known each other. We're very understanding. We're very sympathetic towards each other and empathetic. And it's just the easiest thing. Like, we understand each other. We very understanding we're very sympathetic towards each other and empathetic and it's just the easiest thing like we understand each other we agree on everything yeah it's just like there's not one negative thing that i could say about the relationship at all what's one thing that um because every relationship needs to continue to work on themselves and there's always areas of improvement what is something that you think you guys could do a better job of you know what

is something you guys are working towards do you guys ever check in with each other and saying hey you know like we should we got a little careless here let's let's focus on this or do you guys have those conversations maybe spending less money on uber eats okay or i think there's sometimes that i could be more empathetic towards him because i get really carried up in things that i'm doing and i forget to remember like he has a lot going on too and to like be empathetic towards him as well because i'll get like so like busy that i forget to like check on him sometimes but other than that like towards me nothing i can't think of one thing i would change about him but for me i would probably just be more empathetic it's not even changing about him or you. It's just like the relationship itself.

Relationships hurt. Areas and where you guys think you could always be more connected. How could you guys connect more or how could you work through conflict or things like that? Yeah, I want to say we don't have conflict ever. That might be a bad thing. It's just we don't.

Well, it's not a bad thing, but it's just more like how what eventually you will if there's things that come up that are issues we just talk about it and we get over it and we're very like understanding and we calm each other down we we hug each other and kiss each other and we get over it like so quick like if there's anything that we do that upset the other person we just bring it up like in a very calm sweet manner and it's resolved in like five seconds we have texting office hours coming up and i'm going to ask you a question and then you're going to answer it after

texting office hours is like a nice little tease but uh on my proposal video with natalie we oh i saw that by the way congrats i sent it to my boyfriend and i was like well you commented something like yeah you at mentioned him and said notes. And my question to you is an engagement on the horizon. So I want to discuss your future with Jesse, what it looks like. How soon can we expect a proposal? What does that look like? What's your perfect wedding? All those hard hitting questions right after texting office hours. How's it going? It's going great. How are you? Good. How's it going? It's going great.

How are you? Good. What's your name? My name is Debbie. Hi, Debbie. How old are you? I'm 27 years old, and I was recently at a basketball game. I met my friend's coworker, and I received the most unhinged text that I have no clue how to respond to.

Okay. I'm assuming this is the text message yes we have okay uh before we read this text message just set the stage you know you how did you meet what was the vibe were you excited you know what was the banter about bring us into the room you know like imagine there's some like sexy rom-com music playing so typically i'm like an online app dater okay um but i actually hate the app so i was so excited this was like an irl you know connection um my friend brought me to um a work event and she was introducing me to her co-worker we had box seats at the lakers game and we were hanging out in the box um lots of champagne lots of food lots

of booze and there was this really attractive guy sitting in the corner and i asked my friend who that is and she tells me it's her co-worker and tries to set us up um he was 14 years older than me. So he was 40. Is he dead? I'm 27. And that ultimately like led me to him. Like I felt like he was very mature, very attractive. I really liked that. Okay. He's,

but he's still 14 years older than you, right? Yeah. But I, I love that part of it. Okay. And then, so you left,

you exchanged numbers, obviously. Yeah. So at the game, we were talking a lot about the game um we even talked about our zodiac signs so i'm an aries he's a cancer or opposite completely fire and water the two opposite okay so we talked about how those didn't mesh okay and then you're like but we're still hot for each other let's say numbers kind of like how'd that go yeah so we actually made out in a boxy um at the at the game um and there was definitely chemistry there like putting the science to the test yeah at the work event we made out at the work event is it your work event or your friend's work event my friend's work event yeah so she didn't give a shit i mean it's maybe his

problem but like let evs yeah all right so yeah so i mean it was great like to be honest with you like had he not sent said text which will go into i'm sure um i would have probably been down to see him again okay so you make out you out, you exchange numbers, you leave, and then, was that a Friday night? It was a Friday night. Okay, because I have a Saturday at 4.01 p.m. This gentleman wrote you, Hi, Debbie.

Hope your night was good. It was great seeing you yesterday. Not boring at all. Despite our signs, there was some kind of connection. Maybe opposites do attract. The chemistry and sparks were definitely there. Honesty and transparency? I feel like he meant honestly.

But anyways. Honesty and transparency, dot, dot, dot. You are gorgeous and I'm attracted to you. You have a hot figure, pretty face, and the sexiest eyes. He did use an Oxford comma. Uh-huh. Yeah. Hot figure.

Hmm. Okay. Okay. Sounds like an accountant. Sounds like a 50-year-old. Yeah, it sounds like he's 75. Yeah. Yeah.

Dear Debbie, stop. The war is fine stop when you're interested in a passionate what trust trust trist trist trist what is a trist it's a fun little like a trist 75 Stop. Yeah. When you are interested in a passionate tryst or romance and to experience all the touch and affirmation, I'm here for that. Dot, dot, dot. I want you. In a separate text. The way you're reading this is so funny.

Hit me up anytime. I'd love to see you again, whether for a day or more regularly enjoy the weekend actually like i added in the uh he had no explanation yeah enjoy the weekend yeah you should like read books for a living debbie um doing podcast you should read books like audio books sleep story yeah you should hear you're doing that i did it five years ago that makes sense it's it's it's more weird than on hinge it's a little awkward yeah i don't know if it's fireable he's a goofy guy what was his what was his like uh yeah verbal rapport like like does this make sense that maybe if he tried to type something out it'd be a little bit more formal yeah that's the great question like his the person you

met and made out with like was he a little cork because this is like kind of quirky and more you know trying to be a little different and when i first read it i was like what the hell i was so cringed out but then reading it again again, I was like, okay, wait. Yeah, he's just kind of awkward, kind of nerdy. He's 40, but he does sound like he's more on the 60 with the way he texts.

But that's a good thing. That means he's not on his phone a lot. He probably isn't on TikTok, which is good. He seems mature, kind of weird. I want you to strong. He's letting you know

that he wants you. I think that's a plus. He knows what he wants. You like that? Yeah, I think he knows what he wants. He's letting you know. How did you. I think that's a plus. He knows what he wants. You like that? Yeah, I think he knows what he wants. He's letting you know. How did it make you feel when you read it? So I was super weirded out from the text,

but I felt like in person we had this vibe that I totally would have hung out with him again. That's kind of the part I'm hung up on. And I really hate ghosting people. Like I just hate the world of online dating and ghosting so this was like four days ago this was a week ago now so now I need to figure out if I need to respond

to this guy we're on ten days ish so to speak is it just gone not necessarily any ghost can always come back he said when you're interested and a passionate tryst. So would you be interested in just going on another date and seeing if either because I feel like we have two data points.

We have the game, which was super fun and you enjoyed your time. We then have the text that was like oddly formal and very long and probably made you feel overwhelmed. So are you willing to go on a date to see which of those two data points are actually the truth? Yeah, I feel like I'm down to go out again. But my friends are telling me I should not go out with him again because of how he'll maybe act. And he seemed very... The friend who set you up or other friends? Other friends. Okay. Friends who haven't met him, who don't know him at all. They're just basing it solely on this text. Yeah i think is like you said unhinged it's a little intense it's more weird than unhinged in my book yeah it's just a little awkward age is something to consider yeah the only thing i mean it's 40 it's not 90 i know but i mean it's

yeah i mean if if if the i want you wasn't in there i know francesca kind of likes it but like you were already uncomfortable reading it and then he's hit you with the i want you wasn't in there i know francesca kind of likes it but like you were already uncomfortable reading it and then he's hit you with the i want you like it maybe a different form yeah in a different context it's just it's just awkward it's just weird well it's like all these things we expect people to like imply through subtext he's just saying yeah which you know we all love a good communicator the funny thing is I'm typically an over communicator. I usually over text. So the fact I'm creeped out by this says a lot. Why don't you ask the people that know him that work with him?

Yeah. So my friend who introduced me to him, like, talks very highly of him and thinks I should give it a shot. But then she did agree that this behavior with this text was kind of. She doesn't know him in that in his romantic category. You know, she knows him like she's a co-worker. But I would trust that more than a friend who wasn't there at the game, who doesn't have experience with him. Because, yeah, this text by itself, very different data point. But we do have the game to rely on.

And this other friend's recommendation. It's also text. And it says text is a terrible form of communication. It just is. It is not how you get someone to know you or your sarcasm or your personality. And you are reading this text almost certainly in a very different way

than he intended it. His intention was to be up front and forward. Honesty and transparency. And let you know that he is interested in you and unlike most fuckboys who would have waited three fucking days and like kind of be like, yeah, we should go out sometime.

And then you'd be like, oh, cool, he wants to go out with me sometime. And then four more days go by. You're like, like sometime this year. So he just, he went hard to the paint and he just like he didn't nail it you know what i'm saying he kind of stumbled he drove hard to the paint and kind of tripped over his own feet as he went up for the layup he i feel like he wrote this like a carrie bradshaw monologue yeah sex in the city some things could have been left out could you facetime him out of the blue and i'm certain he'll answer and then you go can we address your text and just see like see if he has a sense of humor but like that was

forward let's talk about it are you the water are you the fire um i'm not the fire oh okay well i don't know much about did he did he text you again after this no so this was it and then i just have been ghosting since that's a green flag that's a good sign yeah yeah the fact that he didn't power text you again so yeah like yeah it i totally agree because he if he had said any follow-up to that it's like all right this guy's he doesn't know when to chill off or back off he went for it but like he got no response he let it go he hasn't been like

hitting you up or stalking you or like pressuring it's just he just kind of fucked up here I don't know all I'm saying is we have no idea who this guy is other than maybe he's just a little awkward and doesn't have good game that's all but he could be a wonderful lover, a high character guy.

Like we literally don't know. Like this tells me nothing about who he would be as a partner. Other than you might, like you can anticipate someone who has less game and a little nerdy and kind of forward. Who knows? But maybe he's a wonderful person and a compassionate person and kind and good to people and generous.

I don't know. Maybe he's an asshole. He doesn't seem like an asshole to me. So if you are in any way interested and you did have a good time in his presence, I think that holds more weight than a one-off kind of text opener

where maybe he was being a little excited and whatever. For all you know, he has since read this text after you have not responded, shared it with a buddy or two, and is feeling just horrible about it. You don't know. I don't know. Maybe he hasn't thought about it at all.

So this isn't enough of a red flag, you're saying? I don't think so. I think if we call it a red flag something to pay attention to you know now you know i think it'd be kind of funny if you facetime them and just kind of playfully be like can we address your text first of all what is a tryst you know just say that and like you want me my hot figure what are you 70 i need to be playful i don't know or are you gonna say can we address your text and see what he has to say but i also think make sure to vocalize like the bits that you appreciate be like i really appreciate that you were honest and open and like to make sure you know i feel like i'm not tearing down be playful and just

see if he plays back and be like yeah i don't know i was a little because if someone's like yeah if you're playful to him with a couple like notes and you're not making it seem like he's weird or stupid or creepy he should just be like yeah i probably didn't nail that one but i'm glad you called you know or you know it could be something like that i don't know but i think the safest way and the one that takes the least amount of investment where you can get the most amount of information is to FaceTime him. I don't think you should text him about this,

poor communication. And maybe you don't feel comfortable meeting him in person and going on a date and getting all dressed up. And I would totally understand that. So if you're trying to find a middle ground, just FaceTime him and get on the phone with him. Have like, I guess, a mini facetime date and then see how

you feel about him afterwards you don't have to commit to anything on a facetime date you don't have to you could just be like well it was good talking to you like uh i'm busy this weekend but like maybe we give him the old maybe we can hang out next week and then you can always just like change your mind and then you can send him a text being like hey i just thought about it like i'm just not in the right time or like some bullshit or whatever or you could you know or it could go really well you'd be like you know what what are you doing this weekend you know like you're you you're committing to nothing by facetiming him i also think something to keep in mind is like i think if i were in your shoes and i'd like showed this message to all my friends and like we were all like laughing about it like there would be a

part of me that would be like oh if I pursue this like this like there's almost like a level of like kind of like embarrassment or just like well what are they gonna think about it like we've already kind of like like my friends and I have already like gone off on how like ridiculous this was and so I also just would advise you to be like I feel like online dating prioritizes aloofness and rewards like being unattached and uninvolved and like like chill to a fault. And I think this message is the opposite of that. And there's other things about it that are genuine,

like, oh, hold on there. But I would like make sure you're not judging yourself too much because of like any kind of like internalized previous interactions you may have had surrounding this man. I am curious what he means by when you're interested in a passionate tryst or romance and to experience all the touch and affirmation, I'm here for that.

I would literally just be like, what do you mean? But he's listing two different things. That's the worst part of the text. Because a passionate tryst is like a private moment between lovers and then he throws in relationships. So I'm like, sir, I mean, he's clearly, he's down for anything. It's whatever you want. I really think you call him him out of the blue FaceTime him with high energy.

Like, hey, how's it going? What's going on? Like, sorry, I've been kind of busy the past couple of days. Like, by the way, like I had a really nice time with you at the game. That was a lot of fun. I haven't had a time like that in a while. Like, that was great. Like, that's how you open up.

And then you're just kind of like, I do want to discuss your text for a second and again playfully and just be like what was up with that was a lot you sent me a lot and then you just kind of playfully be like all right by the way my most curious like what did you mean by this i don't i didn't eat i don't even know what a tryst is and like just see where he goes with that. I think it could be fun. Just to cover all the bases here. Let's say he doesn't answer because he's like occupied, but like sends you a follow up message being like, hey, so you called what's up? What do we think the text response to that should be? Like, I just like, hey, FaceTime me whenever you get the chance.

Yeah. A little smiley face. Perfect. Or no. Just checking in. Wanted to discuss your text. No. Yeah.

I think some version of Amanda is like oh yeah just wanted to say hi call me back when you're free you immediately seem different than any other woman he's ever talked to in LA because everyone's just afraid of like face to face conversation everyone's just like texting like they

don't want to talk to people I'm one of those people so I get it but you will come across as different keep us posted yeah when are you gonna do it do it today honestly after this yeah is there any chance is that work is he working or you want set yourself up for success he works at consulting so probably probably like you know nine to five yeah so i would wait till tonight yeah call mike on like 5 36 o'clock drive time you know maybe i'll order some john and vinnie's and love that you know some wine oh yeah liquid courage yeah thanks so much for calling let us know uh what happens very exciting stuff and who knows could be your person probably not but good luck you know could be thank you

was he a good kisser yes i mean he would not be having this conversation right if he wasn't that matters so much more than just like some awkward texts you know agreed all right we're excited for your update good luck tonight good luck have fun remember high energy compliment then ask them perfect all right i'll report back all right sounds good all right take care thank you all right bye-bye bye so you and jesse when do we get engaged is he the one is he um he's definitely the one he's definitely the one 100 yeah 100 yeah 100 are we gonna get engaged soon i wanted to be engaged like yesterday yesterday um okay we were because it was the clock's ticking for jesse

it was originally going to be like a huge surprise like the ring was going to be a surprise the day was going to be a surprise but i was like you know i kind of want to like have a say in the design and a particular person yeah i kind of want to like know ish when it's going to be around so we were like okay like maybe i'll know like the month and then we had a kind of a day that he was thinking about doing it and then all the show drama happened so we're waiting until after that blows over blows over and then hopefully like maybe March March yeah end of March I'm hoping what's your engagement how would you like to be proposed to honestly at this point I'll take like anything anything anything I'll take it so I'll walk on the beach i'll just be i just want to be engaged yeah anything yeah i know he's gonna go all out though like i know him and i he's gonna do something super would you really be happy with

anything yeah i would i don't care how he could do it in the shower i wouldn't even care okay it's not even how he does it like i see really cute proposals and i'm like oh my god that's so cute but like when i really think about it like I don't need something extravagant. Like I just want to be engaged to him. And then that's all. So that's all that matters to me. What do you think your, uh,

marriage would look like? Are you guys, are you going to have, you'd be young, married couple traveling or, you know, start a family planning. What do your kids on the horizon for you?

So originally we just wanted to be engaged for a year and then be married and travel for two years and then start having kids okay that was our original plan but i have since changed my mind and he's changed his mind as well we decided that we want to start having kids right away okay and then we'll just what changed get a nanny and bring the nanny with us when we travel because yeah. Yeah. I think I've kind of traveled everywhere already. Like I've seen it and I've, I've done the whole traveling thing and I know what it's like. And he hasn't, he had a kid when he was 17.

So he spent his whole up into like his first time. He's 33. His first time leaving the country. Yeah. Yeah. They're 14. Wow. His first time leaving the country was to come see me in Canada.

He didn't even have a passport. So he's only been like some places in the U S and Canada. So he wants to see the world, but that's very accomplishable with children. And, um, it's going to be a process for us to have kids. So we want to start, I want to start soon so we can like, you know, get the eggs, get the, this put together, get it in the oven. It's going to be like a huge thing. So, yeah.

All right. We have to like plan it. So I just, yeah, I just want babies now. You know, I'm like super at that. Like, I don't know. I think it's like biology. I'm just like babies. Yeah.

You know, and I know. Almost like nesting, but emotionally. Yeah. Like I'm on marriage TikTok. I'm on baby TikTok. So all I see every day is like engagement rings and weddings and babies. And I'm like, I'm but emotionally. Yeah. Like I'm on marriage TikTok. I'm on baby TikTok. So all I see every day is like engagement rings and weddings and babies. And I'm like, I'm just ready for it. Like I've done.

Sure. I've lived, you know. So I'm ready to like. You're ready for that next chapter. Yeah, for sure. Francesca, this has been a ton of fun. I appreciate you sharing and talking and coming back on. It's always great to see you.

Do you want to leave our audience with any final thoughts? Don't believe everything you see on TV, kids. Okay. All right. And also, where can they all follow you? Francesca Farago, Farago the Label on Instagram and TikTok. And yeah, Instagram, TikTok.

Awesome. Well, thank you again, Francesca. It's always great to talk with you. Thanks for listening, guys. Don't forget to send in those questions at asknick at thevilefiles.com don't forget we have another episode of Better Date Than Never tonight at 9pm Eastern

6pm Pacific it's gonna be wild and fun we talked a lot about sex last week and we'll probably keep doing that seemed to be very popular when it comes to sex and dating and we'll have Francesca pick the custom cocktail. So to have that revealed. What's our custom cocktail?

We'll reveal it on the show. Oh, okay. Sure. Don't say it. Also, don't forget, we have another update special dropping tomorrow for all the people who love all the great Ask Nick updates and texting hours updates. That drops tomorrow. Check it out. Tell your friends.

Share with your friends. We'll see you tomorrow.