The Viall Files - E554 Bachelor/Vanderpump Recap with Rozzi

Episode Date: March 15, 2023

Welcome back to another episode of The Viall Files: Bachelor Recap Edition! Today we are joined by singer-songwriter Rozzi! We start out by covering the most recent Vanderpump Rules drama, including Schwartz’s TMZ interview and decoding some of Raquel’s old Instagram posts. We then dive into this week’s episode and discuss hometown dates - from Vermont to New York to Georgia to Texas! What do we think of our next Bachelorette, and what can we expect from Fantasy Suite dates next week? “If you’re going on the show for love, you’re insane.”  Start your 7 Day Free Trial of Viall Files + here: https://www.viallfiles.supportingcast.com  Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to [e-mail] to be a part of our Monday episodes. Join us for our new LIVE show on Thursdays at 9PM ET/6PM PT on Amp, available in the Apple app store. Android User? Listen here: https://www.onamp.com/ To Order Nick’s Book Go To: http://www.viallfiles.com  If you would like to get some texting advice on Office Hours send an email to [e-mail] with “Texting Office Hours” in the subject line! To advertise on the show, contact [e-mail] or visit https://www.advertisecast.com/TheViallFiles  THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: Shipstation - Get a 60-day free trial at https://www.shipstation.com/viall Thanks to ShipStation for sponsoring the show!  Canva - Collaborate with Canva for Teams! Right now, you can get a FREE 45-day extended trial when you go to Canva.me/viall. Helix Sleep - Helix is offering up to 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to https://www.Helixsleep.com/Viall. This is their best offer yet and it won’t last long! With Helix, better sleep starts now. Earth Breeze - Now’s the time to try Earth Breeze, because right now, my listeners can subscribe and save 40% Go to https://www.earthbreeze.com/VIALL. Episode Socials: @viallfiles @nickviall @thisisrozzi @alison.vandam @liffordthebigreddog @dereklanerussell 

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With a Planet Fitness Black Card, you don't just get a great workout. You get a great perk out because your membership is packed with perks. For zero down and $29.99 a month, you'll get perks like access to any of our 2,400 clean and spacious locations. Bring a friend anytime and both work out with tons of equipment in the judgment-free zone. Relax in the Black Card Spa and more. Work out and perk out with tons of equipment in the judgment-free zone relax in the black card spa and more workout and perk out with a planet fitness black card get started for zero down and $29.99 a month plus $49 annual fee offer ends March 15th what's going on everybody welcome back to another episode of the vile files bachelor recap and vanderpump we're it's full vanderpump and bachelor recap edition. We're full on Vanderpump fans here. How can you not be? The Vile Files household.

The household! Thank you! In this household, we drink La Cologne. We do. And we watch Vanderpump Rule. Our special guest, Rozzy, returns. How are you? I'm good. Breakup song of the week

artist. OG. Oh my god, you guys. That made my day. Founding member. How are you i'm good breakup song of the week artist oh gee oh my god you guys that made my day member made my week founding member how are you i'm good thank you i'm pretty good yeah pretty good yeah i uh oh well we were discussing that i'm freezing my eggs which is like a crazy futuristic science experience um it's it's crazy may i ask you some questions yeah yeah go for it uh what made you want to do it? Yeah, I'm probably on the younger side of it. I'm 31.

But the reason I decided to do it is because I'm like 95% sure I want to have kids. It's pretty high. 95? 95. And I'm like 100% sure I don't want to have them in the next five years. Like I know for sure I want them later.

Sure. My boyfriend's also a lot younger than me, so we're kind of both. Well, how old is your boyfriend? He's 25. Really? Six and a half years. Tell us more about that.

Um, he, yeah, uh, he's 25. We love a good age difference in this household. Yeah. I mean, he's, um. But we don't hear a lot of the other way around. You know what's funny? In six years. Six and a half, I will say.

When I turned 32, that's when it always gets, that's when it's always really hits me. and a half i will say when i turn 32 that's when it always gets that's when it's always really hits me no honestly i actually kind of forget about it all the time now that we have an age difference but when we met it was like 22 and 28 which felt crazy for me i like i remember i was i was like he's 22 there's no fucking way and he was like she's 28 that's fucking awesome you know like we just had different did you find out right away or was it sort of like you started okay so he we met on vacation and he is my mom's good friend's nephew he was your mom's good friend's nephew okay so like my mom's family but like if you break his heart like it's not gonna be that weird i mean i i mean i don't know but um the the pitch like my mom pitched it my mom was like Becky's nephew's gonna be there and I was like he's 22 are you crazy absolutely not um but it

didn't take me that he's he's quite mature he's he's an actor he's been working since he was a kid he's got like in a lot of ways more life experience than me that that makes a huge difference it makes a huge difference like he he truly has been in the entertainment industry longer than I have. You grew up, yeah. Like Natalie had a very different childhood than I had. Exactly. Like I was coddled and she lived in Harlem at 16 by herself. Right.

Exactly. Different. Exactly. Like Alex was like very famous when he was like five, six, seven. I mean, and he is still, but like he started his life as a little, you know, like it was different than me. So it didn't take him very long at all to convince me. And now I honestly don't think about it at all.

And frankly, this whole egg freezing thing. Did he have to convince you? Yeah. I mean, I was, I think, I think. That makes sense. Yeah. I mean, I had to be convinced. Yeah.

I think, yeah. I think it's like. Sell me on why you're mature enough for me. But it's also like, I don't know mature enough for me you know and but it's also like i don't know if you feel this way but i am also like i don't want to like ever rob anyone of any experience there was definitely a level of like i i did not want to be the one yeah to convince exactly it was more like yeah it was like if you want this i need like otherwise yeah you always hear like power dynamics and things like that.

So it's like, I don't know. Which by the way, it's like, is real. Like, it's totally real. So you have to be like, yeah, I was, I was self-conscious about making sure that, yeah, there was, yeah, equality. And I, and I was over cautious about that. Yeah. And I think that I, to be fair fair separate from the age difference like just as

a 28 year old woman who was dated was like kind of jaded not to run totally i'm sorry lyric but um but i was like no matter how old he was i think i was hesitant for that reason as well so but but it's hilarious because i say i was so hesitant and it was like by day two of this vacation we were like inseparable but it like it was a little longer after that before I think I took it really seriously but I have thought a lot in this process like how grateful I am for our age difference because I've been thinking like we're on the same time schedule like I'm like if I'm was dating somebody seven years older than me and they were like maybe ready to have a family i'd be we'd be screwed yeah yeah exactly like you have to find someone who's like in your life stage stage

yeah the same page with what you want yeah so that like is totally an accident but all of a sudden it's like i feel like in my 30s and i'm like thank god you know okay so then you started doing it what's a quick like what's the process been? What has been a high and a low? And what advice for anyone who's considering this process would you offer? Yeah. Yeah, totally. Okay, the low, and I'm not done. The procedure is on Wednesday.

So the low so far has been, like, the physical discomfort. Like, I just have to inject myself with shots every day multiple times a day if that's not pleasant I feel like really bloated like I look kind of pregnant I'm hiding it but it's like it's like kind of crazy like your like body is it's amazing what our bodies can do it's incredible but it's definitely like uncomfortable and I hear that the week after is potentially even more a little bit uncomfortable. I think also if you're on the younger side like me, you actually get more eggs. So it's more uncomfortable. It's really crazy. I tried to explain this to my 98 year old grandma the other

day. She was like, what the fuck are you talking about? She was like, that's crazy. Basically, I'm like giving myself shots of hormones every day. So the eggs that I have already that are like the current ones and you're whatever. They're not all the eggs that I have. They're like the ones that are like matured or whatever. Like you give yourself shots every day and we're waiting until they're a certain size. And then there's like a, you go under, but it's like a 10 minute procedure and they extract your eggs and they put them in a freezer somewhere in Redondo beach. And every person, no matter where you are, if you're freezing your eggs, they're going to Redondo Beach. Yeah, no. And that's it, which is pretty amazing. And then

the hope is that I don't really have to think about it. It's kind of an insurance policy. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Like think about insurance. It's like you both you and the insurance company always hopes that you don't need it. You don't need it. Exactly. Although here's what's funny. My doctor keeps saying that he keeps being like, this is for your second kid, your first kid, you probably won't need it, whatever. And that's probably true. But there is something really for a neurotic person like me, something very comforting about being like, oh, these have been tested to their like genetically tested. Everything's like you just know you're healthy. You'd never have to make any bad decision. Like it's not like you'd

get pregnant and then do testing and then have to make some choice or something like that. It's like you just know you're healthy you'd never have to make any bad decision like it's not like you'd get pregnant and then do testing and then have to make some choice or something like that it's like it's all done beforehand and secure you can like this is when i don't know that i would do this but you can like choose the gender it's like pretty wild it's like it's like really the future yeah you can like pick you like they'll tell you which are well i'm freezing eggs but if you freeze embryos which is what i ultimately would use these eggs for you can like determine the gender and they'll tell you which ones are healthy. And it's like, wow, it's pretty wild.

So I just feel very grateful that I can do it. But it's not like pleasant, definitely. But it's but it's not horrendous. I feel like we never hear kind of like the physical. I feel like I hear about freezing eggs all the time. But like knowing what that actually entails and like normalizing that it's like yeah you're going to be bloated is like totally helpful to actually talk about yeah and i i will say i wish i had there's more like resources like i have friends thank goodness that i could speak with but it would be nice to have more any advice

like hey yeah there's like if i knew this now i would do it differently so you have at least for the way I did. And I don't know if it's different for everybody, but I had to take birth control pills for weeks before the shots. And I started those when I was in London working and it was fine. But like, I didn't know that birth controls make me so nauseous. So I just was like nauseous for weeks. And I didn't know that.

I don't really know that I would have done anything differently. Maybe if I had been prepared for that, I would have been so caught off guard by that. And then the only other thing is, if you can have someone in your life, like, again, I'm freezing eggs. This is all for me. It's like a solo thing. And my boyfriend's been absolutely amazing the whole process, but he's was working. He was out of the country for a lot of this. Like it can be a little bit isolating, like especially trying so hard not to get COVID during this time because of that is just you can't go under anesthesia I guess COVID's dangerous with that um so that kind of stuff has been a little isolating so if you can have like a friend who's done it or somebody around or your boyfriend's not on set that would help was there a conversation between you two about you know in deciding to freeze eggs and not embryo like was there was I didn't even offer that because to be honest we did talk about everything um for me I was like this is for me uh you can't you can't undo embryos and I you know I think it's very very very possible that we'll we'll

have kids together but it's definitely not you never know what happens in life. And it's just like, I thought that was too much pressure for both of us, to be honest. Kind of seems like a prenup in the sense of you're like, hopefully. It's also, it's basically deciding to have kids together is what that would mean.

And like, we're obviously not there yet. So it just felt like not the move. Actually, my doctor was like, he was like, my sister was engaged and I still told her to freeze eggs.

He's like, just do eggs. You never know. Yeah. Well, thank you for sharing. Of course. Very enlightening. We have a new bachelorette.

Charity. Charity. Charity. Well, before we get into all that, don't forget that Vile Files Plus is now available. It's out. Check it out. You have a seven day free trial. Child. You have a seven-day free trial. Child? You have a seven-day free

trial. Kids on the mind. Yeah. You can get a kid for seven days. If you want to give it back. Give it back. Seven-day free trial for Vile Files Plus. Amazing things like we have a new update special available. An update that you won't want to miss. It was one of the updates is the caller from the Raven episode

whose friend was cheating on her boyfriend and she wasn't sure if she should tell her or not and so big update there don't want to miss that all the episodes of better date than never are available plus we have some amazing rom-com recaps and for all you bachelor fans out there who haven't listened to all the interviews i had from the ladies from my season including like vanessa and rachel and things like that uh those are all available behind vile Files Plus as well. And we'll continue to give you more updates and things like we're going to go back and recap. Pop culture stuff, Vanderpump.

We have a new event. We're going to do a pop culture roundup. That's available right now. We're thinking of Vanderpump Rewatch. Not thinking. From the very beginning. We're doing. Okay, we're locked in.

We're locked in we're locked in it's not an if but a when yeah soon starting back from episode one because I just started Rozzy Vanderpump

watching season 10 that's so exciting with the scandal it's an amazing show I think I need to watch I'm going to follow along with you guys starting at the beginning

please do please do Kristen Doughty is our Going Deeper guest this week to bring us up to speed on all the current tea. Kristen, friends with Ariana. She was with Ariana when the scandal went down. I think she's continuing to hang out.

So she's going to give us, hopefully, a fresh update. Katie will be with us April 3rd, Tuesday, April 3rd, which is the week after the Bachelor finale. Also, March Madness, not just for basketball.

We are doing a love song, March Madness. Go to the Vial Files Instagram story. There will always be a link for submissions. We are going to cut submissions off Friday,

12 noon. So get those songs in, favorite love songs, and then we will be doing polls on our Instagram they all have to be my songs though yeah and so the rules are we're gonna need 64 make life easier on yourself and especially

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Also, can I just say, the most good-natured interaction with TMZ I've ever seen in my life. They were just like chit-chatting like old buds. It irritated me. Wait, which Tom is this? Schwartz. Not the... I mean, they both suck. This is the less bad. The, which one? Which Tom is this? Schwartz. Not the, I mean, they both suck. This is the less bad.

The less bad one. The one who didn't have the affair. Non-mustache. Non-mustache. Got you. Yeah. He was very nice

to the guy though, to the TMZ reporter. Yes, that's his stick. That he's nice to everyone. That's his stick. He's just the affable, like, hey, everything's fine guy.

But I did find it interesting he was like so how are you feeling about the scandal like what are your thoughts and he gives some thoughts and then he goes but what do you think about it what do you think actually it was a smart move on his part yeah like if if you don't they're very black yeah pushy yeah those yeah have you ever been hounded at an airport god yeah yeah like how yeah. Like, how do you get out? Like, do you just go through security and then they can't follow you? I actually have a great story about that, but I can't share.

I'll tell you guys afterwards. Sorry, listeners. I'm so sorry. I would hate, I would be stewing in my car if I were listening to this and being like, I want to know the story! I ended up taking one of them on a date. No! One of the paparazzi? No, one of them on a date. No. One of the paparazzi?

No, one of the person who interviewed me. From the airport? That's amazing. You said, let's go to Hudson News. $4 smart waters. This is like seven years ago. How did it go? Sure, it's just like stunning.

Stunning interviewer? Wow. Great interview. Did you have to be like, this is off the record when you guys went on a date? stunning interviewer yeah great interview did you have to be like this is off the record when you guys went on a date I mean that was the hope and it was is the off the record thing is that like a legal thing or is that just like a like trust yeah it's more of a

like if you want me to keep talking to you you gotta respect when I say it if you want a second date you can't report on this he was just so fucking affable and so smiley and it's just like there was i don't know what i expected it was more like just a little bit of no shame he fucking do you think he knew of course well especially because he was like i'm not sure i want to talk about that if he didn't he would have just said of course i didn't know and i'm sorry remind me he was married to katie katie okay who but katie didn't have the affair that was all no it was also yeah so katie and him were married they got divorced yes tom sandoval

and ariana have been they're not married but they've been basically married yeah but they've been basically married they've been together for like nine years or something like very much like committed long-term relationship. And then Raquel, who's another cast member. Yes. Originally, we thought the whole plot of the season was going to be her kissing with Josh Schwartz. Who lives on Allie's floor.

No. Yes. They're neighbors. No. They're literal neighbors. Do you see her? Yeah. Have you seen her since?

It's all broke? No, I've seen producers there. I haven't seen her out. I feel like now with me not working from home, it's like a little bit less. Sure. So it's just like occasionally like if she is taking her dog out, we'll like see each other in the hallway. Wow.

That's amazing. And she's, the whole like, they think it was like a plant that like she was having an affair with the other Tom, but really it was. Or like she kisses him on the show. So it wasn't an affair, but it was like dating after the divorce. Schwartz denied that. He said that the kiss was not to distract from he was like that just happened.

I don't think it was like a distraction. I don't think he was that much involved. But I think he's known for a while. But she's been having an affair with Ariana's husband or whatever person for like months.

Oh my god. Yeah yeah and on this most recent episode just like seeing him her and Ariana together it's so fucked because you know now we all know what's happening yeah just like being her friend I'm curious about the psychology like the psychology behind something like that like why

like what is like validation yeah I think her apology put it really well where it's like you your intimate relationships make you feel safe like it's like it becomes an addictive cycle where it's like you do anything you can to get that fix of like what feels like validation or love or nurturing yeah and so because of that she like prioritizes that over her friendships and it was so funny in the most recent episode seeing when her and lala were both kind of like interested in oliver or like it started out as just Lala being interested in Oliver

and then Raquel got interested in Oliver and then she like checked with Lala right so she like potentially she goes full pageant yeah she's like yeah I'm tired of taking top 15 time for the crown

I can win on this yeah I think she's just one of those people when she's triggered you know Time for the crown. So time for, I can win on this. Yeah, I think she's just one of those people when she's triggered, however she might be triggered. Daddy issues is a real thing. And maybe it's not daddy issues. Mommy issues. Maybe it's mommy issues.

Maybe it's pageant issues of constantly competing with other women for attention and validation. Oh, she was a pageant girl. Yeah. Okay, got you. Pageant girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And she's no longer even allowed. She's aged out, apparently. At 27 or something. At 27. But she just can't quit. So yeah, I think she gets, and I mean, I don't know Raquel at all, but she comes across as incredibly insecure at times.

And Tom's clearly a loser the woe that just yeah the woe I think the Tom's truly seem like the definition of that classic Peter Pan syndrome in LA they seem like the definition of all the like the fuck boy like when you're complaining about a middle-aged guy dating, you're complaining about the Toms. Like I've said the past two weeks, they just want to have fun guys who are very affable and fun and goofy and nothing's a big deal.

They want to laugh it all off and for the majority of people that they're around because most people don't like awkward situations and most people don't like discomfort and they just want to like forget it and those and the toms are the classic guys who are just like yeah whatever man let's just like fucking fuck it like whatever life's too short let's do fucking shots yeah man it's no big deal how old are all these people uh they're pushing 40 i think i think middle yeah 30s does anybody have kids lala has lala does now sheena has a kid yeah tom sandoval's 39 the other thing about the toms that i think gave me atrocious vibes before this came out was like

they really i think are guilty of like locker room when you started watching vanderpump you were going before the scandal broke you were you hated the times I fucking hated the way there were a few things where one was like the way they were like Lola suck dick for a range like I just like that was some like sexist bullshit and like it's like also what the fuck is wrong with you like why are you trivializing something that was basically referred to as like a mini Harvey Weinstein situation where like this woman was like lied to like like it's just like and for you to kind of like in a moment of insecurity like paint it out as if like she was like complicit and like benefited from this system is like so problematic and then also I was because I went

back to watch previous episodes and I guess there was one time we were like Lala and Ariana kind of like hooked up and they were both like super drunk and it was like a night out and tom sandoval was talking about it to his friends like being like it was fucking crazy like she ate her pussy like the definition of like this was all like this queer interaction was for my enjoyment yeah and like he said it as such a like flexing with my bros like uh like my girls are freaking it was like right dude like what the hell is that's why i think the time that's why i think uh swartz knew yeah because i think he would have told their as like their bros like like guys love to to brag about that shit guys love to show their buddies the nudes and they're like the notches on the belt like a lot of them do not all there's a

lot of great guys out there but like the toms out there that those types of guys who again also need the validation you know like they need the they still got it energy you know they need to like know that they're still important and and they want their buddies to be like yeah fuck yeah yeah you're stuck you know like that whole and i just find it hard to believe that these types of guys weren't bragging to each other weren't bragging to each other and yeah and and you know bro talk and this isn't like baseless accusation but it's like i wonder why tom sandoval was recording the video like oh the facetime video what was the? It was. Well, that's how this all got leaked. Oh. So.

So allegedly. So over the weekend. Allegedly. The phone fell. Allegedly. The phone fell at the concert. And he's in a band? And he's. Yeah.

No, he started. He pays people to pay in the band. He pays people to play. Which at first sounds great because it's like pay your artists for their work. And then it's like, wait, no, you don't have friends. Like you need to pay people to do a creative project with you because they would not do it out of your merits alone. Again, I love people. Follow your dreams.

Swing big. I'm someone who decided to try something out regardless of what people thought or what I think I should do. But him having a band is just, it's for attention. Does he sing? Is he the singer? Is that his instrument? Yeah, it's for attention. Does he sing? Is he the singer? Is that his instrument? Yeah, he's the lead. And it's a cover band also.

I'm dying. What covers? Like what are his, like what's the vibe? I don't know. I'm going to watch this show. He does it so he can have like 20 or 30 like fans every week scream his name and say how hot he is and take pictures. He doesn't feel like an artist.

He feels like he's more interested in attention than creating art. One performance that's coming to mind right now is there's a photo of tom schwartz's mom as like when she's like young it's like she just looks fucking stunning yeah and he does a like a performance of stacy's mom but changes it to schwartz's mom no wait a minute or wait jesse's girl no it's i think it's like i wish that i had schwartz's mom so it's like to the tune of jesse's girl and he like has a photo on stage and schwartz is just there with his like head in his hands like oh my god like wow i mean that's just like fine it was pretty it was funny

but like right for attention again it's it's not it's not for music it's it's not even to make it it's because and i think i said this last week there every season there are guys who go on the bachelorette love the whole bar tour yeah i've had guys i won't say who but like there was a guy from the bachelor who i was thinking about maybe having on the podcast yeah and he deliberately asked if i did any live shows because he wanted to do a live show because he had done someone else's live show he just loved like he wanted to like do the meet and greet and he wanted to meet the girls

and there's guys so many guys from every season just love doing the whole like every weekend they're at a new like Chicago bar or Toronto bar or whatever and you do I mean you do I'm sure you get kind of some rock star attention the pictures i i fucking hate it yeah yeah yeah so i used to work in the event space in chicago

and one of our bars we did like a bachelor valentine's day night and i think we had dustin and clay come to the bar i went up to dustin i think at one point because i think my bosses were at another one of our venues, and I just wanted to make sure he got everything or if he wanted any drink or whatever. And I went up to him and there was this girl dancing. Like, she was so drunk. She was dancing so close to him. I don't know where her friends were because he was just kind of standing

there like, what's happening? And as I'm about to open my mouth to ask him if everything is going okay, she turns around and she goes, my asshole is this big to you to him and i was like i just kind of looked for the listeners and how big are you demonstrating small like i don't know i don't know what she held up i don't think my asshole's this big on the norm that's bigger than i held up all right now is this like just something she's dilated yeah that's what i'm saying

like if her asshole's this big like on the norm that's a pretty loose butthole do you want to have a bigger like if you're in small i think she's trying to advertise how small it was to dustin yeah and i just like stood there for a second and he kind of like he handled it well and he was just like Honestly, like no wonder these couples don't last. That's crazy. That's a crazy thing to say to someone. Yeah. And that was my bachelor bar experience. That's hilarious.

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liking attention. I don't judge someone for that but it is like a different thing than being an artist. So maybe Tom's not. He's interested in the screaming, adoring fan.

Do you think when Raquel said to Lala, like, well, thank God you don't have a man. Then when Lala was like, I wouldn't trust you with my man. If you were drinking, if you were drinking,

do you think that was like a cry for help? There's a lot of been discussions with this whole scandal of, of kind of going back in time and looking at interviews or interactions between Raquel and Ariana or Raquel and Tom I think a lot of us will look at it and think oh that's fucked up and this and that and it is it's so fucked up but I think sometimes when you learn from like a psychological standpoint I think when people are making these types of decisions like we now live in a time where again we we want to if someone does something insensitive or selfish or manipulative we're just like the internet's calling them a sociopath and a narcissist right it's like let's just over yeah

it's just like yeah like no you know like narcissist until proven like yeah i guess it's a narcissistic thing to do it's selfish and right but. But it's not a diagnosis. We've all been manipulative and selfish and self-centered. And at times we've all like, you know, been triggered and processing from different parts of our brains or whatever. But I kind of look back and wonder if that was Raquel. Like looking back, I almost see like the guilt on her face, you know, when she's saying that. like the guilt in her on her face you know when she's saying that so speaking of looking back at things i have some screenshots of some instagrams that raquel has uh made or made back in the day how do you have these screenshots they're on her instagram yeah she did her research okay so the

first one it's just her emoji use that i think we need to pay attention to. The caption is not sure what to caption this. So here are three emojis. And if you zoom in, it is a cloud. Yeah. With a bolt of lightning. And he wears a lightning necklace. A crystal ball. Crystal ball.

Thank you. I can never say the word crystal ball. And a woman. What's this supposed to mean? Potentially Tom Sandoval's future girl. Because we know the lightning necklaces. Interesting. Crystal balls looking into the future.

Wow. And then girl. And we got this one. These emojis. This caption says, it's giving Harley Quinn falls in love with the Joker, blah, blah, blah. So the Joker could be her loves lightning bolt. Okay. See the first one I was,

I do think going back and looking at old captions is a bit of a like, and then she literally responded to Ariana commenting. She responded to Ariana with a heart and a lightning bolt. It's the lightning bolt, like a thing the group does? It's just her and Tom. They have the necklaces. Who?

That middle one? Ariana and Tom. That middle one is on the nose. That middle one. Joker loves lightning. I'm so fascinated. Can you interview her? I want to know.

That's on the nose. We'd love to. She's like, Ariana, why so serious? 2020. Yeah, that's on the nose. You're're in court that makes me hate her more your lawyer's like i'm sorry i can't do anything for you like that's on the nose yeah so she if there were other ones without the emojis you could look back and go who knows what they were fucking talking about it could be anything you know yeah but but the emojis are the whole point do you think she wanted to get caught like for the sake of the

drama like for the show or does she know that she would be dragged like this you know it's like that's a good question because here she is fucking putting it out there yeah i don't think she knows any better i don't know i don't think she thought that much through or i wonder if like she kind of subconsciously wanted to get caught because of feeling like this crushing guilt and like wanting it to end on some subconscious level yeah maybe and like knowing that kind of the only way out is like for it to get out because even if you cut off the affair and nobody finds out like i feel like there's still a part of you that's like forever concerned yeah for sure i've learned uh in therapy and going to butcher this, but when we experience trauma, we store trauma in a certain part of our brain, not our frontal lobe where our decision making

comes from. And so later on in life, if we get triggered by that trauma, it's like a, you know, fight or flight. So from a survival standpoint, our brains start like making decisions based off of like a different part of our brain which is why people are able to kind of do what seems like crazy insensitive shit sometimes and so if all of these activities from raquel are coming from a place of trauma past trauma or whatever you know a therapist would suggest that again it's it's not an excuse and it doesn't let

that person off the hook but it's just explaining why what seemingly overall decent good people can do fucked up and sensitive and crazy shit. Totally. Because when they're in it, when she's kind of triggered by all this need for attention or whatever it is, that she's not thinking. It's not up here. It's not thinking what happens when i get caught or how are people going to receive this it's you're not thinking logically you're not thinking you're all thinking from this kind of fight or flight mode yeah so i don't know if that's what's going on here but it's all very fascinating is she likable otherwise again because i haven't watched it she

just comes across very much as a pick me and insecure you know when people talk about like oh my one of my favorite things about my partner is that they really like challenge me yeah i feel like she's kind of the opposite of that where it seems like she has like i think a pick me energy of like she's really good at not taking up too much space and just being like really sweet and nice and bubbly right and i like again like with all of this context it's like coming from a place of like probably feeling like she needs the validation yeah that honestly makes me sad i don't know her and again i'm on so many hormones that everything could make me cry but i feel bad for her that's sad that sucks not that i obviously that's not an excuse but but again her apology was a plus um whether she follows through with

all this i don't know but it's really know. It was a really well done apology. I hope that she is following through on all the things that she says that she is going to. I do wish her the best. She really took responsibility, basically. I mean, yeah. She's just kind of reflecting on choices and she's suggesting that she's in therapy

and trying to process and understand why she's making these destructive choices that she has. And again, in no way does this in any way let her off the hook, but like, I care about how people respond to adversity. To me, that tells me more about that person rather than someone who might, we all do things. We've all have regrets. We've all made mistakes. How we respond to those mistakes. Sure. or do we just like say we're sorry and not really you know people sure say they're sorry all the time and they're not sorry and they don't learn anything yeah it's like living in the discomfort of the mistake is so uncomfortable that instead of like living in that discomfort a little bit longer and being like

what's going on here how do i fix this it's like a sorry let's wipe my hands clean move on and then they're not actually like treating the disease they're just getting rid of a symptom yeah it was a question for questions with nick yesterday about like i don't know what the situation was but like people say they're going to change all the time and never do right oh i'm going to change i'm going to change but they don't what are they doing to change you know like no one says i want to get in shape and then you never go to the gym or change your diet right you know but people always talk about how i'm going to change i'm going to change but they don't what do they do about it they don't go to therapy they don't get like you know better friends or mentors or like start reading about or even really acknowledge or not they just say

they're going to change yeah you know like how is you can't just say you're going to get in shape but yet when it comes to like our mental health or how we treat other people or understanding our destructive choices like if you're not doing something to change, you're not going to change. Yeah. A book I was like either like atomic habits or like getting things done. But it talks about how like we talk so much about goals as a society. And it's like, don't get me wrong. Goals are important.

But like people who have goals who achieve them and people who have goals who don't like the difference is not having a goal. The difference is the systems you put in place yeah to like actually to do the work realize that yeah i'm like going back from the big picture and starting with the small steps like okay this is what i want how do i get there you start much you have to start really small and like specific and it's so unglamorous yeah it's so unglamorous changes are like so arduous and tedious and it's like yeah but the best people are good at that the best you know like the people who really um will face their mistakes and and make an like actually take significant steps are usually the people who succeed it seems yeah maybe it's just a giant wake-up call yeah we'll see well we will get to talk to kristen uh on thursday and i'm sure get a

lot more insight i'm very excited to talk with Kristen, so do not miss that. Alright, let's get to the Bachelor. Charity's our new Bachelorette. I could not have been more wrong. Yeah, I'm surprised. I was way off. I'm really surprised. Listen, Charity seems like an absolute delightful

person. Yeah, lovely. Stunningly beautiful. Flawless skin. Yeah, really flawless. Radiant oh my god glowing and she looked so beautiful on this episode i kept every time she cried i was like you're gorgeous like she's so pretty but she you know my my my lack of enthusiasm comes from what she seems to be you know really wonderfully normal yeah and she's gonna make too good of choices i'm worried about that which like i know that sounds hilarious but like i want some i want some bad choices you know she seems really brand safe totally you know like risk averse you know these are all wonderful qualities in a human

being yeah she's somebody i'd want to be friends with for sure i just i haven't i don't i can't think of anything she ever said on this season like Listen, I think she's going to have a lot of fans, and she'll be very well liked as the Bachelorette. Yeah. Just like very Michelle Young in a sense that we all loved Michelle as the Bachelorette, and when she was the Bachelorette, she would say things that make you go, wow, that was really insightful. Yeah, and so perfectly said.

Yeah, totally. But the criticism of the season overall was that it was a bit of a sno was really insightful. Yeah, and like so perfectly said. Yeah, totally. But the criticism of the season overall was that it was a bit of a snooze fest. Yeah. You know, and I hope that we get to see a different side of Charity because I don't feel like we really got to know Charity all that well.

Yeah. You know, for knowing that she's now their new bachelorette. What was the most memorable thing about her and Zach's love story was the fact that she had to wait an extra week for her one-on-one. But it feels very similar to the same reasons that they chose Zach. They wanted Zach because it was bringing them back to their origin. It was not about the drama. It was about finding love. That's only the same for the bachelor, though.

We didn't know a lot about Zach either. That's why we had that weird thing at the beginning of the season where Jesse was like, did you know he was in a band? Well, no one liked that. But also that was partly because they had two bachelorettes. And historically for the show, they generally pick a boring bachelor and a not boring bachelorette. Which, by the way, is exactly what I prefer. Like for me, the drama and the energy is, like, mostly driven by the women on the show.

Normally, for me, like, maybe that's just my personal taste. Like, I like to kind of, maybe it's like some identify more or something. But, like, that's what's more interesting to me, which is why I've actually really liked this season. Because I think, I don't really care if Zach's boring. Like, to me. Like, he's kind of neutral. I don't have an opinion. Facilitator. Yeah, he's the canvas opinion facilitator yeah he's the canvas and like the women i thought have been really great like i think they're really interesting some of them are funny some of them say crazy set like i just i've

enjoyed it but i i i like usually think my favorite bachelorette seasons are like hannah brown saying all sorts of stuff. Yeah, exactly. The spicier ladies. Not that Charity's in spite. Maybe she is. Again, I can't think of anything she's... There could be so much more to Charity that we haven't had a chance to see. Everyone gets siloed into a character on that show.

But now that she is the Bachelorette, it is her season. She will be in every scene yeah it is definitely you know we we still won't get to know the real charity yeah until you know until you meet him in person yeah for sure but she will have an opportunity to be more risky with her choices and and yeah but i i'm afraid that she's going to be keep things very close to the vest and i will say her family charmed me. Her family charmed me.

Wonderful family. Her family, again. Super hot brother. And the accents. It was so charming. Oh, the Southern. Yeah. And I will keep prefacing this by saying, probably not if I wasn't on hormones, but

I totally cried with the conversation with her brother. I was just like, oh. That was a tearjerker. He loves her. It was really sweet. He's good looking too. Yeah um yeah totally he's really cute but and i mean she's beautiful like like i'm sure the one thing i will say is i'm sure a lot of guys will really like her yeah which that to me is like what i was so hopeful i have and i will say i think

this changed a little bit with this last episode but until this episode i have loved how is zach i like really thought he was gonna be conflicted yeah and that's one of my favorite elements of a Bachelor season like the confliction is really entertaining

when the drama comes from the competing love stories yeah like when you really don't know who they're gonna choose like that I just live for that I think with his top three

we have that a little bit I feel like it's Katie like I'm just like so convinced yeah I really agree if it's Katie and again

Charity wonderful person I'll be so sad gabby gabby i i just think she would have been agree she because she seemed she just seems so and especially this episode just yeah just like really yeah authentic where i feel like she's also kind of funny you know with with charity being a you know a a family therapist or whatever, I just, you can see her think things through and then say it. Yeah, she thinks too much before she says it. Exactly.

And again, I relate to that and empathize with that where Gabby's just kind of like, I'm just going to say how I feel. Totally. And whatevs, you know, that kind of like, she's playful. But you're right, the fact that Gabby isn't the bachelorette is potentially a point for Gabby winning, but I still think it's Katie.

I feel pretty sure. Yeah, because, you know, Katie also seems wonderful, but more on the safe kind of like. Similar to Charity. Just like lovely. Lovely, nice. Yeah.

Especially after Gabby had that whole little cute moment with her sister and she said her sister just got engaged and they're best friends and they wanted to plan a wedding together. And I was like, I don't want to see her heartbroken. Yeah. Especially after Gabby had that whole little cute moment with her sister and she said her sister just got engaged and they're best friends and they wanted to plan a wedding together and I was like I don't want to see her heart broken. God I know. Well I do think we're going to interview the runner up so I'm kind of rooting for Gabby to get a broken heart.

Yeah so you can meet her. I mean no offense Gabs. As your biggest fan I know how you feel about Brooklyn and I don't disagree with you but I would have liked her about your ex. I think she would have been really interesting i think she would like i was definitely not team brooklyn yeah but i think she would have been very entertaining same i just think she'd like her family i'm dying to me oh yeah like her story's really unbelievable like i just and she's clearly unafraid to say although i do think because saw the, we're not really covering the tell-all all that much this episode,

but we did see her, like, repeat her line about if the shoe fits, lace that up. It's like, Yeah. She knew,

Don't repeat your fucking, like, jokes. Yeah. I do think, I know what you mean. I do think Brooklyn would have had, like,

three or four canned lines. Yeah, totally. It would have forced it a little bit. I just miss the Hannah, Hannah Brown was my favorite bachelorette. She was an excellent b excellent bachelorette so good i saw on tiktok like came up her moving the podium thing again and i was like what a that was such good tv it was a it was a perfect storm and all those like hot boys coming in on luke it was just so good it was an excellent cast they had an exceptional villain yep yeah yeah they did the lead liked the villain

yeah so good so like yeah that's that yeah i mean not to take anything away from hannah brown she was excellent but no that's the secret sauce is like to have the lead really like the villain genuinely like the villain yeah and then have other good moments of like her calling them out too of that one one cocktail party. And she was saying, like, none of you know who I am because I'm not tried to get to know me. You're not asking me any questions. She was just so. But that's what makes that was that's what makes her great.

But she was set up perfectly. And then she responded perfectly. And like the beautiful like themes of like this, like Southern religious love story that then intersects with like her feminism. Like I just was like, I love this. It was so good. And like, you know, we didn't know anything about Hannah Brown when she was announced as a bachelorette. To be fair, I thought, I was like, what?

When they picked Hannah, I remember thinking like, who is Hannah? Who is Hannah? Yeah, I didn't know. So maybe we'll be surprised. And we have the whole charity, you know, cheated on story. Like, so we know that about her. And clearly with meeting her family,

you could tell that really affected her. You saw her conversation with her brother. I really empathize with Charity then. In my 20s, I had some really terrible breakups that not only rocked me, but rocked my parents. Sure, same, same. They were legit worried about me yeah you know and i was sad for a very very long time where they were really worried

if i was gonna like get over it and move on and that does make for good like i like i do i totally relate to that and i think that kind of like is a springboard for really intense like joy with like love and romance when you finally let go and find it again. We need Charity to fall in love with someone who's cheated on their ex. Ooh. That's what we need. That's what I'm rooting for. One of Charity's absolute favorites is to be someone who's like,

yeah, I've cheated and it was really hard. And he tries to convince her why he's learned. So I think it'll be interesting seeing her in that role. It really comes down to do they cast the right guys? Do they cast the right guys who have history with dating and some baggage? And does she fall in love with the you know the baggage yeah so to speak yeah the big question is will charity want to peel back those layers yeah you know michelle fell in love with some fuck boys you know but she didn't really

peel back the layers yeah you know, I think Michelle being who she was and the teacher and well-spoken and thoughtful, like, you know, we kind of almost trusted Michelle. It's like, oh, you know, Michelle's gonna make the right decision for herself because like she's so put together. Because it's Michelle. Yeah, so, you know, but like you can be put together

and you can be well thought out. And, you know, I sit here and give relationship advice every week. But like and you know i sit here and give relationship advice every week but like you know when you're the one triggered and when you're when your emotions and your egos are activated you know sometimes we don't want to ask the tough questions sometimes we don't want to peel back that layer because we're afraid of what we might see or find out will charity be willing to peel back layers? Will she be willing to like, you know, really question and dig deep

on some of these guys she likes who might have some baggage? And when she does, and she gets an answer from them, does she go even deeper to really see and create potentially more conflict? I think we need those follow-up questions. That's been one of my biggest like criticisms

of Zach this season. And maybe it's being being edited out but it felt like no matter who he was on a date with like sorry yeah i'm like i want to know more ask follow-ups yeah we've been kind of tough on zach the past couple weeks but listen i i think he's a well-intentioned guy there's no again there's nothing more irritating me more. Like, I should know better. Like, I've tweeted some criticisms. And then there's the, you know, not shockingly, but annoyingly, the responses of, narcissist. It's just like, holy shit.

To you? No, to Zach. Oh, oh, oh, yeah, no, no. It's like, in one moment, he was a little selfish, and yes, or he got caught up in being The Bachelor. It's like, no shit. No, I don't think he's

a narcissist at all not even close i've heard he's a wonderfully nice guy i think he's just can i say what it really seems like to me yeah it really seems like like and this is an over generalization but i'm like for men in their 20s how much like intense emotion are they being exposed to especially somebody like zach who seems to have had like a lovely life like very lovely yeah like loveliest yeah like i'm like but even even a 25 year old girl her friends have cried to her a million times like it's just again not to make a generalization but i feel like generally speaking they've just been exposed to more like bouts of emotion whereas i'm like maybe zach hasn't really been around that many people who have cried before like honestly like yeah like he might not have had to comfort i know he's i think he's had an ex-girlfriend or something so

maybe i'm not even sure i don't even know either but let's just say he had one serious girlfriend and she wasn't like a particularly emotional person like he's maybe has very limited experience comforting a crying person 100 i think all of his mistakes come from a lack of experience. Yeah. And just naiveness and maybe some ignorance. Yeah. You know.

I kind of judge him for wanting to get married this young maybe but I don't hold it against him. You know what I mean? It's like, yeah. I certainly was the, I've been in my early to mid 20s

thinking I was far more ready for life than I really was. For sure. And also because he's seen, he clearly has like, feels very responsible and capable in so many ways. Maybe he is ready to, quote unquote, take care of someone. But the emotional aspect, he just seems totally unprepared for their tears. He's just not really good at empathy because he hasn't had to empathize, is my guess.

And I don't think I was as good now as I was. Totally. Same. I think I'm much better now than I was. Yeah. Same. Early in life. Well, it's also just like I think it's one of the ways we like really fail men as a society is like not like creating the infrastructure within like friendships.

Totally. To like cultivate that. Vulnerability. Because I feel like it's really hard to let it out. It's like even like I feel like I'm so lucky lucky i have so many friends i feel so comfortable being very raw with and even then it's like a process of like kind of coaxing it out of you and so i think when you don't have that like normalized and that's not like made available to you especially at a formative age when it becomes a part of your like coping mechanism it's really hard to like totally

put into place after the fact yeah so charity's hometown delightful family delightful family lovely good relationship with her brother that was really cute they're worried about her yeah uh gabby's hometown they're in vermont maple syrup also cute every family was like every this episode was like a little boring to me just because everyone was like nice like it was just kind of like definitely a snooze yeah it also just felt very staged to me yeah like i just felt like we were in like a showroom or like it just felt like it maybe more so with like ariel's day in new york like i thought i really enjoyed her i just felt like it was like the way all the women were talking it was like they'd opened up a hallmark card and we're just kind

of like reading the right language yeah and it just kind of felt like a girl puppets going through emotions It felt very like bachelor hometown week like it didn't have much of a do we buy Ariel's interest in Zack I have a hard time. No, I don't really I really like Ariel by the way I like her a lot, but I don't really buy it. Maybe she's like under the spell of the show You know some editors that had to go in and blur out every new yorker's face behind them oh my god and make them like track with the movement i was like notice that the hours of solidarity i was oh my god i was like no wonder they don't film more in new york this looks miserable pour one out for those but her family was great i really enjoyed

the brothers crushed it the brothers were the best part of the brothers yeah yeah there were three brother conversations oh when i cringed so hard when he was like what's my sister's birthday i was like oh my god oh my god it was so brutal yeah it's real i get it yeah they went balls to the wall with the music for ariel's family because it was like yes it was tense yes i totally see how you can give that kind of like the high stakes almost like villainous like protective yes but they were like the music was really really dark and like candlelit yeah i was like yeah i was like i get it but it felt a little too evil energy for me yes yeah yeah i do hate how the show does that they always make some of the like the skeptical family members who are protective yeah although an insane thing look mean yeah i hate that too because like how dare how dare a protective

family member question the the sanctity of this process yeah exactly nothing will ever be more humbling than watching a grown man try to like get a bar stool up to a barrel like every time zach had to sit back down i was like oh sweetheart get your legs together this is just zach also seemed the reason i really think it's katie is because he's to me seemed so asleep and like about every family except for katie's katie's he seems like alive in the eyes but i didn't really get that interesting note because i mean i just think about when I was like, my hometown with Vanessa was very different for me.

Yeah, because you're like, I want to be your family. Yeah. And I was just trying to survive all the rest. Exactly. Like the hometowns is such a brutal thing.

You do, you feel so terrible about going to these people's houses. I'm sure it's like exhausting to be on like that. And like, and have, it feels so insincere because you are.

Yeah. Lying. Lying. You're lying. You're lying. Yeah. I'm trying to do it in the most like tasteful possible way. Yeah.

And that was really why I mean, this was just my perception, but he seemed like really not having it with most of the family, with all the families except for Katie's. His eyes were a little more alive to me. I also really liked their date. Me too. That was was genius i want to do that with someone yes as cute as the maple syrup was i was like that's not teaching me anything about our actual yeah and also way to see each other like in a like a potentially very stressful i mean i could be really mad trying to set up a desk so katie just moved there is her family there now and does zach live in austin i was? I'm very confused about-

Where everyone lives. Because I heard, well, Zach's family is from Pasadena. And then I heard he was local, but maybe he's just staying with mom and dad while he has some media responsibilities. But he's- I think he lives, I think he's from Anaheim originally, and then he lives in Austin now. Anaheim, okay. Yeah.

And it sounds like Katie just moved there. But was her family moved there as well? Or did they fly in for Anaheim, okay. Yeah. And it sounds like Katie just moved there. But was her family moved there as well? Or did they like fly in for that? Because they were there and they could have definitely rented a house. Or maybe she just moved houses. Like she just got her own house in the same city as her family.

But she was like, I just moved to Austin. Oh, right. She didn't know Austin that well. Yeah. Oh, and also she's Canadian. She's from... Oh, so then they just came. Katie's Canadian? came yeah the family must

have just come was katie the one where they had the blue and white curtains in the living room set up i don't remember like like you really noticed the backgrounds well i was just thinking because the same fabric that was used for those curtains was used in like a throw thing behind her so if that was her date it was definitely like more on the stage side by your observations i'm that's really impressive it's just the same fabric her mind is amazing maybe they brought in some curtains for this airbnb but i could have completely made that up interesting it felt like it was kind of like a well it was like an a-frame house and it definitely looked almost like uh i don't know how to put it

but it's like yeah it's's almost like the newly built, like kind of converted houses type look. Yeah. Like it was really trendy. I don't know. But yeah, it definitely gave like... Set. No one has lived there before vibes.

Yeah. Yeah. Maybe they flew her family in and it was like a staged. I love how Ariel's... I'm assuming it was Ariel's boyfriend's girlfriend. Yeah. Yeah. It was giving like big... But she was just sitting there. boyfriend's girlfriend. Yeah. Yeah. It was giving like big.

But she was just sitting there. She didn't say a word. And they kept showing her face silently. And looked kind of, they could have been sisters. Totally. Oh, yeah. Is that Ariel's sister? Is that her brother's girlfriend?

Very pretty. Just there. Just sitting at the barrel. Also, can I just say like when they went to the Jewish deli and then they were eating gefilte fish and like beef tongue and I was like, no brisket? Yeah, I know. They ate only, um, get a latke. Yeah.

Like, get matzo ball soup. Geez. Because it's like, granted, I'm sure there are many Jewish people for whom that is their go-to order. I do not think it is the majority of people at all. No, and I definitely felt like like they were trying to like scare zach with the like jewish food it's like literally like matzo ball soup like we have some really great things it's not that exotic yeah and also gefilte fish in particular selfishly as a half jewish person as we were discussing for the episode i wanted this family to be like the

most charming family i've ever seen on television just because you don't see that many jewish families on television. You didn't think they were? No, I liked them. I liked them fine. They gave them the villain edit. Yeah, they did give them the villain edit. They gave the brother.

And the dad. But the music and like the location was so spooky. It was so spooky. Like I agree they gave them the villain edit. And I wanted it to be like this is the most fun family we've ever seen. Because maybe I had like I had ridiculous expectations I have so many friends for whom like Jewish friends were like it's a very loose family like where we talk about like not necessarily like full-on sex but like sexuality in a way that

is like and again I know that that is a that is not a religious thing at all but I just feel like I have such a specific view of like American Judaism and it's very like hands-on and like you know there's like the Jewish mom guilt and whatnot but there's also it's like you're loud and you're interrupting each other and you're having a great old time. Totally. That's generally been my experience too. One thing I did love about

both her brother and her dad multiple times said I really trust Ariel's like judgment or something. I really appreciated that. I thought that was really nice they both separately kept saying how much they trust her it wasn't like condescending yeah it wasn't like we need to make this decision for her you know

which I thought was great maybe I'm just like numb to the music and maybe I love the critical parents because I find it so bizarre when they're not critical when the parents are just like oh this is amazing yeah totally yeah people can fall in love in five minutes like that like gabby's dad i was like yeah gabby died crying i know oh my god that was a very sweet moment but like he was i was just they were just like we've had some great tender dad moments as the bachelor

franchise totally it's been awesome like i love a tender dad me too the Bachelor franchise recently. Totally. It's been awesome. Like, I love a tender dad. Me too. Have we ever had non-tender dads with the... Well, I think it's... Yes, but I can't remember. I'm sure we have. It's like more dads, like, in the sense of them showing emotion as opposed to being, like, really protective and a little bit more, like...

Wasn't JoJo's dad kind of scary? That's her brothers were maybe kind of scary. Her brothers were. Oh, yeah. I remember that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love a good... of scary that's her brothers were maybe kind of scary oh yeah i remember that yeah yeah yeah i don't think i don't and i don't think we have like a real like i'm saying tv mom could be a tv

dad could be tv anything but like usually i feel like on hometowns there's like one person you're like you fucking love this yeah and i didn't know that there wasn't a star in this yeah there was no tom sandoval to me no like No one was bringing that energy. No Peter's mom. No Barb. Can we talk about Gabby's sister, how she's a twin? Yeah, they look the same. That was like a cohesive family.

Yeah, that was. They're actually twins? No, but they looked, they could have been. They're two years apart. They also had the exact same hair, I guess. They were really doing a similar look. It wasn't giving twin for me it was also were her parents like childhood sweethearts is that what they were trying to imply when the dad was like i saw her in a cafeteria yeah i couldn't i this seems like a long yeah a long term yeah i'm sure in vermont you know

if you don't find someone by high school. There's no one else there? Golly. It's you and the maple trees. Burlington's pretty bumpy. Confusing scene. When Zach picked the like chemical maple syrup, I was like, of course he did. Zach, I don't trust your food taste. They teed it up perfectly though because she was like, if he picks this one, I don't know what this will mean.

Never have I felt more like a condescending New Englander. And I was like, you're trash. Yeah, totally. How could you? Syrup. never have i felt more like a condescending new englander and i was like you're trash syrup pancake syrup i don't like syrup that would be my nightmare date have you made a plane like syrup no i will even on what do you put on pancakes nothing butter you eat it dry yeah wait nothing what does that say about ally but like French toast sticks as a kid, just no syrup, just the stick. I definitely don't want to do mustard. Yeah. I would do that before I would do syrup, I think.

That's crazy. That was vulnerable. That was really, really vulnerable. The tell-all, we didn't get to watch before we recorded this. I think it's because- Because charity. Because of charity. Yeah.

But we know it's charity. Tell-alls usually, I feel like I probably like act it out for you right now yeah brooklyn goes after katie boots up what is it the boots and cats i feel like cat's gonna cry probably gonna cry brooklyn will go after cat cat will get rattled and she will not be able to fully articulate herself. She'll get a hot seat. It will probably go over well. Jess will get a hot seat maybe or not a hot seat. She'll just confront Zach from the stands. I did hear that Kat has a really nice moment. I think this whole experience reconnected her with her

mom. Kat? Yeah, she talks about that and I guess that was a real positive kind of lovely uh experience you know what the positive for me was bringing back the og cat i saw her in the clip and i said yeah wait the og what the cat the one there was a contestant very early on week two a cat i thought you were a cat i got it she was reactive as someone who has zero poker face i was like yes she's gonna be on Paradise Everyone noticed her too much For her not to be on Paradise

Maybe she'll have a Joe experience And she'll be like The biggest Yeah Star ever on Paradise I would love for her to But they've never been In the same room

Both as Kat Cause we didn't call Kat Kat until the first Kat left And literally the next episode She was Kat Yeah She was Kat the crown Before then

Yeah With a disrespect And Greer will maybe confront him i feel like she's gonna have been planning this one-liner for months to say to zach about the working is cool or something not that i disagree with her but i just feel like she's rehearsed it's my guess because isn't the tell all like kind of the the like audition for paradise to an extent yeah i know yeah very much so i mean well it's it's uh it's certainly a tool used by the show to encourage people to speak up it's like you know for all you non-stars

if you want a shot at the title yeah this is your chance this is your shot right i feel like it's like a fourth pre-season game in football where it's like okay this is a mcdonald's yeah some people are gonna like make it on the team other people they all come back with like a makeover after seeing themselves on television like with oh my god ready to go they all like veneers by now I did hear Zach very much thought Jess was in it for

the show really yeah which I still nevertheless think when Jess confronted him and he was like it's not about a one-on-one I still think you know i agree with you like either way but it kind of makes me understand why he why he reacted that way if he was like prepared for her to be like fake or whatever i heard she got a good edit interesting yeah interesting she just came across very uh on the younger side of however old she is. Yeah. 23. Like the glitter

really does represent where she's at. Where she's at. She did seem quite young to me. Yeah. Zach just didn't do himself any favors I guess because like it was so late in the game for him to say it's not about a one on one when it literally is. Yeah. It would have been more interesting if

he would have said I just don't think you're sincere. Yeah that I agree. You know why did he use the wrong language yeah it's like he yeah maybe that was him you know you could argue maybe that was zach trying to protect jess by not calling her out for being like honestly i just think you're here for the gram to be honest like is anyone not there for the gram? Exactly. Yeah. Especially because they now where they I feel like.

But it's just to what degree? Exactly. Did Bachelor in the past? Like, wasn't it the whole thing where they framed it like they chose the Bachelor and then people applied for that Bachelor? Right. And now. And maybe it wasn't that way ever. But I feel like for me, it was really framed that way a while back. And now it's just like when I found out it was you I was so excited but it's like

you were in it before that right like even Zach's in it for the gram you know like yeah to an extent for the well otherwise delete it yeah exactly if you're going on for love you're insane yeah like look at the numbers no I mean like practically

speaking if you're like literally earnestly telling your friends hey like i'm having a hard time finding love and there's a show called the bachelor yeah like and i want to this is my last shot and i don't care about fame or attention i really just want to find love and so i'm gonna go on the bachelor you haven't thought this through my last shot i'm like you're not you know like about to get disqualified from pageants you've gotten some really bad like advice from people. Yeah, totally.

Like you have a warped sense of reality and you're a bit delusional. Totally. So like, but you can like say this is a really cool experience and it seems a lot of fun. And if I go, like I'm definitely open to, I'm single. I want to find love. I want to change my life maybe. And be open to meeting someone. And when you show up, some people have a connection and some people don't.

Yeah. And like the Gabby's and the Katie's of the world are, are just like, I don't, I really like this guy. Fuck. And they're not thinking about like Michelle with, with Matt James.

I absolutely believe that she was head over heels for Matt. And when she showed up, she authentically liked Matt, you know, but like to say that she didn't care about social media i think the biggest thing especially for the leads is this i need to do something with this totally i need like i can't waste this opportunity and yet like there's not a lot of guidance this is just very quickly this is definitely like projecting but i also think

there's something about body image stuff that plays a really big role, probably of like becoming hyper aware, even though it seems like a lot of people who go on the show are already people who are curating like a lovely Instagram feed, like exercising a lot, like all the wellness, makeup, etc. And I think going on the show and then like seeing yourself and then probably receiving all these DMs, this flood of people like commenting on your body, having this intense pressure, probably when you're a bachelorette to lose weight before you go on the show so you're looking your best and like i just imagine that that consumes your brain in a really like insidious and kind of scary not to mention like like when people get in their own little bubbles whatever it is i think this happens all the time like in entertainment you get in your own little bubble you your reality is like very

warped like what you're seeing what you're thinking about what you're talking about all day becomes like the things that you might have last year been like oh that's a bummer but it wouldn't carry so much weight suddenly carry the weight of the world because of what you're

kind of like living your life in and I think that happens to lots of lovely people you know and again I do not know her and I think she I wish her absolutely the best but that's just my impression

should we get into the teaser that we saw about fantasy suite weeks and how it seems you know, and again, I do not know her and I think she, I wish her absolutely the best, but that's just my impression. Should we get into the teaser that we saw about Fantasy Suite Weeks and how it seems, so it seems like with the infamous quote of it, no sex, but,

no sex, yeah, maybe not no sex. Well, the big question is then, because, well, this wasn't a part of the show,

when I was the Bachelor, I've, I was like, I told everyone, well, I told the producers, I'm told the producers I'm not sleeping I'm only I'm only gonna only with Vanessa they didn't edit it like that no yeah at all do we need to

replay Raven's dancing montage the orgasm dance so the question is is like is Zach saying this knowing in his head that he's only going to be physical with his winner? Right. Who he's going to pick.

And he's just saying that because he wants everyone. You can't say, well, I'm only going to sleep with one. Right. Then of course. You can't say that. Right. So does he only sleep with one or does he actually sleep with none and follow through with that? This is maybe like a crazy question, but like if that's what he did, like what if it like

it just didn't go well with the one? Like, you know what I'm saying? Like if he was like an awkward bad night, like is that? It would have to be. Here's the thing. Like, I just don't think you need to like have sex. You know, you have physical chemistry. That's true.

I mean, sure. You could take off each other's clothes and be like, what is that you know like that yeah sure that's unlikely that's always possible but while these people aren't like hooking up during the season like you're kissing there's touching wet humping in a hot yeah there's a lot of physical chemistry and so i just and and does that mean like the first time you hook up there's going to be nerves and awkwardness because it's the bachelor and it's just like I'm having sex with a celebrity. Right. It's like a really weird feeling.

Yeah. Fucking terrifying if you're a contestant being like, I'm fucking for my life here. Yeah. And so will it be the best sex of all time? No. But like, I just don't think. Right. It's that's a good point.

It's just not changing your mind. It's just it would have to be so bad. Remember when that... Okay, I'm really showing how long of a fucking fan I am. But Jillian and Ed, they really did him dirty with that. Do you remember this? I don't remember. That was before my time.

Do you guys even remember this? No. No. I remember they had this whole big bit about how the lights went on. They have an image of the fantasy suite from outside and the lights went on like the fantasy suite doesn't go as planned. Like something like really aggressively alluding to like he could have performed something like that. Yeah, I was really mean and he ended up winning the whole thing. I mean, I don't really remember.

It's been a long time, but I always thought that was like really mean. Yeah. Is it awkward when you're in there? Because it's like, OK, let's say he sleeps with his winner or if he doesn't sleep with anyone but let's say like he just like doesn't want like if you in your mind think that you're gonna be the winner but like the lead does not feel that way about you and doesn't want to do anything physical like is it just like a standoff all night right uh yeah well especially because i feel like it's like dodging societally, though. I had some insanely uncomfortable nights.

Wow. Do you just like go to bed? You're like, I'm so sorry. The truth is it would be problematic if it was the other way around. Yeah. This could be completely wrong. But my theory, because we hear like a talking head of like Gabby being like, I feel gross and ugly.

And it seems like she's the one who he's having a conversation with and she walks away I think he had sex with Ariel and Katie and not Gabby I think he only had sex with one of them but maybe not he has sex with two of them after saying no I mean that keep in mind this season's not over yeah right season's not over until afr is done and so if if that is the case i rest assured we will find out at afr yeah yeah i don't see ariel outing zach no i feel like she wouldn't you're right actually i think she wouldn't but if she's like someone who could keep a secret yeah oh yeah ariel doesn't strike me as someone It's like she's doing The Bachelor because she can, not because she needs to. Totally.

I agree with that. She's so calm all the time. And where I feel like, and it's just a mindset where it's just like, this is my big opportunity and I got to make the most of it versus like. I also don't feel like she would be the kind of person to like, I mean, again, based on virtually nothing, would like crave like revenge. Like, I don't really get the feeling that she'd want to be like, you hurt me. I'm going to like put mean again based on virtually nothing would like crave like revenge like I don't really get the feeling that she'd want to be like you hurt me I'm gonna like put you on blast on live

TV unless she feels like Zach brought her the fantasy suite just to sleep with her that's true which she maybe did he's really attracted to her yes who is not she's so sexy yeah good for her good for that note i'm excited to see all right well we will we

will see what happens uh razi yes it's always a pleasure ah thank you guys so much for having me thank you for uh sharing your uh freezing egg story i know i can't believe that i it's i just learned all about it and now i'm the teacher. It's awesome. Freezing eggs and warming hearts. Rozzy, please let our audience know where they can enjoy all your wonderful music and all the other great projects that you're working on. Yes. So the deluxe version of my album came out in November. It's called Berry. And you'll learn even more about me than the egg freezing stories if you listen.

And that's all my secrets. And you can stream that anywhere. Instagram, TikTok, whatever. It rocks. Thank you. Can I just say, I genuinely, I listen to your's all my secrets and you can stream that anywhere instagram tiktok whatever it rocks thank you can i just say i genuinely i listen to your music all the time it fucking slaps it's so much i feel like if you i feel like you we can become numb to plugs of people's content but like i would genuinely recommend someone open spotify or whatever else look abroad that really is nice thank you so much that means a lot to me yeah i do think you know um as a massive fan of your podcast with like, you know, all the relational advice, all the like things people go through.

I feel like I have a song for literally every story you tell. And I'm not that's not even that's just because I've lived some shitty things. So I will say my friends that I got lost in Joshua Tree and we had no signal. We could not find a map. We couldn't use a map. We couldn't listen to any streaming music. One of us happened to have Joshuaoshua tree downloaded on our phone and we literally just played it on loop as we were trying to find our way out of the national

i hope you got i mean clearly we made it yeah amazing uh yeah so you can stream that music everywhere my socials are at this is razzy that's it. Well don't forget guys we have another episode of Better Date Than Never this Thursday at 9 p.m. Eastern Live. A ton of fun. It's mostly just a sex and dating podcast.

I want to come. I can't come while I'm freezing my eggs but when I'm done I'm going to come. Please dial in. You can join us live just like anyone else.

Just go and download the AMP app. Okay. And then we go on at 6 p.m okay you can call in you can join our show from wherever you are in the world as long as you have an iphone i do also kristin is with us from well former vanderpump cast member ariana bestie and very much uh read in on all i believe except tom sandoval yeah who isn't at

this point she used to date tom wow there's a lot there's a lot there so going deeper going deeper this week is going to be wild also vile files plus if you haven't checked it out you're missing out it's wild it's also you get a seven day free trial check it out and don't forget yeah next week we'll be back to the regular scheduled programming for the recaps which will be tuesday not wednesday and uh i think that's it bye bye