The Viall Files - E558 Going Deeper with Rachel Bilson - Orgasms, Bling Ring, and Trolling the Internet

Episode Date: March 23, 2023

Welcome back to The Viall Files: Going Deeper Edition! Today we are joined by actress Rachel Bilson to talk about her recent headlines about orgasming later in life, how she and Nick faked a relationship, and how she feels about dating, marriage, and open relationships. We then have a Texting Office Hours caller who has angered her friend after having sex with his roommate. Does she try to salvage the relationship, or are his actions red flags?  “Did you come up with these questions?” Start your 7 Day Free Trial of Viall Files + here: https://www.viallfiles.supportingcast.com  Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to [e-mail] to be a part of our Monday episodes. Join us for our new LIVE show on Thursdays at 9PM ET/6PM PT on Amp, available in the Apple app store. Android User? Listen here: https://www.onamp.com/ To Order Nick’s Book Go To: http://www.viallfiles.com  If you would like to get some texting advice on Office Hours send an email to [e-mail] with “Texting Office Hours” in the subject line! To advertise on the show, contact [e-mail] or visit https://www.advertisecast.com/TheViallFiles  THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: Aura - For a limited time, Aura is offering our listeners a 14 day trial plus a check of your data to see if your personal information has been leaked online, all for FREE when you visit https://www.AURA.com/viall Lume -  Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code VIALL at https://www.lumedeodorant.com/viall #lumepod RocketMoney - Stop throwing your money away. Cancel unwanted subscriptions – and manage your expenses the easy way – by going to https://www.RocketMoney.com/viall Episode Socials: @viallfiles @nickviall @rachelbilson @alison.vandam @liffordthebigreddog @dereklanerussell 

what's going on everybody welcome back to another episode of the vile files going deeper edition. I'm Nick and I'm wearing Uggs. Yeah. It's a good look. But like really short ones. I'm into it. Like the capris of Uggs. Wisconsin dad is up at the lake with his kids drinking coffee. Yeah, like he woke up for the 7 a.m. soccer game.

Yeah, I'm stylish. I look like either like a dad or a struggling artist. Or both. Don't limit yourself. Yeah. I'm into it. Yeah. I'm really, they're dad or a struggling artist. Or both. Don't limit yourself. Yeah. I'm into it. Yeah. I'm really, they're very comfortable.

Love it. Not a sponsor either. I just love it. I was going to say, can we get some? Yeah. Well, I guess that kind of makes sense. Well, then one of my agents, he's like, hey, I could have got you these for free. I was like, fuck.

Fuck. Well, I feel like because the 2000s is coming back. And like that, the Uggs were a big part of that for me. Oh, Uggs are hot. Yeah. I want to pair Uggs with a Juicy Couture sweatsuit and just walk around town.

Oh my God. That's the vision. Anyways, yeah. I'm on the Ugg train. Love it. It's my first day. All aboard. Love it.

My first day at school. I have a question. Yes. Yeah. I went on a date recently and he tried to sit on the same side of the booth as me and i pride myself on what date is this that was like five or six okay also shout out for all the

daters out there we're hanging out this guy this is yes and also for all the daters out there like dating i think we've like ali has been very generous like really no i'm excited for you because i feel like you've been very generous about like sharing how like dating can be like kind of a slog with online dating and like there is a light at the end of the tunnel like regardless of how this happens like regardless of how this transpires this is like you've been having

a really positive experience he's been treating you well you've had some fun dates I don't know it sounds like she hates him he sat on the same side of the booth well no see I was gonna say younger me would have been like, oh, sure. And sat there awkwardly. And I said, no, absolutely not. Why?

Why did he want to? And why didn't you? Because weirdly enough, like now that I went to our favorite breakfast spot, I just sat next to her on the same side. And I was like, because I don't it was like we both wanted like the booth the booth side he wants a chair and it's it was good people watching yeah i wanted to sit back and relax and you know we've been together obviously for so long there was certainly a level of of comfort but do you think it's just why did he want to did he want to cuddle or did he want

to people watch no i think it's much more he. He likes like a hand on a leg situation constantly. Hot. Yeah. He's more of a physical touch person than I am. But here we are. And you just said no. Yeah. Good for you.

He was like, can I join you? And I said, no, absolutely not. I was like, sit over there. I don't think it's that get like i don't think it's that weird no i refuse that's like no you don't like how it looks or yeah yeah aesthetically because sometimes when you try to talk to each other you're like our noses are almost touching well that's the thing and i was like if we were in a u-shaped booth i'll meet you in the middle but if it's a two-sider what do you use the other side also i think if you're going on a either a very promising first date a second date you're really

looking forward to go to a u-shaped booth because that was where like the first time my boyfriend and i were like hanging out one-on-one we did and it was nice because like we stayed up and we were talking for like three or four hours we just like slowly scooched closer but in a way that was like subtle and very mutual. U-shaped boots. You gotta seek out those U-shaped boots. I don't think it's that big of a deal. I mean,

a first or second date, you two clearly have rapport. Yeah. I was shocked that he was willing for me to just be like, no. But maybe weigh in in the comments, let us know how you feel about this. Obviously it's personal choice,

so no one's saying one is right or wrong. But, like, what do you prefer? And would you say no? Would you say no? I was proud of myself for saying no. Hold the line. You just got to look out if you have different dominant hands. Because my girlfriend and I, like, I'm right-handed, she's left-handed.

So we got to think about which side. Otherwise, we just, like, hit each other the whole time. I'm shocked you're not a lefty,y Derek I feel like you have big lefty energy you have big lefty energy for sure are you a lefty Nick? I am for sure yeah the sleeper the guy who's a dad and hugs yeah

alright what do we got before we get to Rachel oh boy okay so I feel like goes without saying Scandival before we get into it, quick temp check. Like scale of 1 to 10, how interested are you in this story still? 10 being like when the news broke, oh my god, this is juicy. 10. Okay, oh yeah, 10.

I haven't lost any interest. I agree, I feel like my stamina is strong in a way it's not usually for this kind of thing. Well, when you have stories like Raquel claiming to be autistic now. I push back on that. Let's get into it. You push back on her self-diagnosis or no let's get in let's let's lay the groundwork so what nick is referring to when he says this is that uh another another girly in the pageant community uh brianna made a post uh

featuring her in pageant wear and the caption is after a few months of privately processing my autism diagnosis i decided to come out about it because the little girl in the last slide deserved better. Obviously, the last slide is of her as a child. I finally reached the acceptance phase of my late diagnosis and I'm filled with more hope and peace than ever before. So if you see me acting different, it's because I am. And then there's a little unicorn emoji. And then Raquel commented i can relate three heart emojis with the little sparkles and then sending you love brianna so you have

opinions you wanna well i was nick is saying that she's saying that she's autistic yeah she could be relating to other parts of this sentiment i.e the pageant community like made me into someone i'm not or i had to adhere to certain things i guess it's all possible you know what i mean bad timing on rachel's part here's raquel going through this she's in the middle of this shit storm story she is at the center of this story she is you know finally the main character congratulations rachel uh of this story and here's this other person i don't know who they are it sounds like they were diagnosed with autism and they decided to have their own post and sent a nice message and then raquel of all people what i don't think she deliberately tried to a The point is, she probably didn't think. And then writes a cryptic comment,

certainly suggesting that she could be. We don't really know. But certainly, you know, on this other person's comment, decided to almost steal the spotlight, so to speak. She made someone else's post about her. It's a good point. Because it's like, you got to know that when you've been lying that low anything you do on social media is going to be news she is also to be fair we are talking about this girl's post so in a fucked up way she did kind of raise

awareness but there you go i think an interesting part is that so i read the caption because the post itself has like many different slides and has a lot more about this girl's story um and one of the things that brianna mentions is she's like i hope to lock arms with other people who meet the dsm-5 which is the diagnostic statistic manual which is like the kind of like the doctor book that like tells you um kind of gives like official medical criteria and i think in that she's kind of speaking to like i feel like there's a big narrative during the pandemic especially of like tiktok told me i have adhd or like tiktok told me x y like you know kind of people doing all of this self-learning and then as a result

selecting labels for themselves that they felt really fit and in one hand i think was empowering and exciting but i think for other people felt like it was kind of diluting this you know the fact that this is like you know there's specific meet. Yeah. Who did we have on long ago? Well, the doctor who was on the show Love on the Spectrum from Netflix, who talked to us a lot about autism. I'd be really curious about what she thinks, you know, being a part of that community and other communities who might feel like people have wrongly diagnosed themselves or labeled themselves and possibly taken away or diluted, you know, for the people who do have these disabilities.

I mean, who knows? But yes, we definitely live in a time where people are diagnosing themselves and attaching themselves to things via the internet. Well, Jax is also attaching himself to Sc ball as a whole because shocking in i know like he wants attention also what it was kind of because i've been i started at season one and it was kind of jarring seeing him in the interview with like a mustache and like just like 10 years older than in the show and you're like oh my god fuck boys grow up

they do i mean they grow facial hair like yeah physically grow up emotionally emotionally i don't know but jack's is married but he has a history of cheating and i do feel like that's kind of at the center of scandaval is like this question of at what point do you get to like knock other people's behavior that you've committed in the past because you've quote grown like at what point do you get to say like no that on the girls trip between lala and raquel so what jack said i thought the quote that was most interesting kind of that made the most headlines was he was talking about tom sandoval and said he never had control of ariana she's a very strong independent woman and i feel like he couldn't control her and he can control Raquel

very easily. She's very easily manipulated and you can control her like just by looking at her. And then he goes on to say she's very codependent. She's the definition of codependency. Well, I mean, Jax is certainly entitled to that opinion and it might be accurate. I guess what you're saying just because Jax has a history of being a piece of shit and cheating that he doesn't really get to speak on this topic at all? Well, there's two arguments because there's like there's that side and then there's that he can speak on it in a way that nobody else can because he's come out the other side. He can truly empathize with like where you're at in the moment where you're making those kinds of choices. But then say, like, I am allowed to speak on this because I've done the work.

And so I think that's kind of I don't know, this idea of like doing the work is a big. Allowed, not allowed. I mean, he's allowed to speak on this because he's a former castmate of Vanderpump Rules and he knows these people as well as anyone on some level. You know, I guess it all depends on how you come across, right? If he's just like, I've never cheated, you know, I've never come close to doing any of these things that the Toms of the world and jacks taylor have done so when i speak about them i'm pretty critical of their behavior if jack's like he's just a piece of shit and fuck him and i would never do that like yeah it sounds a bit critical if jacks is more of yeah uh i have this opinion about uh ariana and raquel because quite frankly like back in the day

when i was doing this type of shit like you know i realized now that i was more drawn to people that you know whether i was doing it on purpose or not that i it was more you know i could control or manipulate me i didn't challenge me and i felt you know yada yada yada and i think he's entitled to speak on that and and he might offer a very interesting perspective again like if if jack has really changed if he has grown up i don't who's to say who's to say i don't think we're in a position to know that right now but yeah he could talk about like how he has or what what what finally changed you know and what would you recommend for someone like tom who's going through what he's going through right now the other thing from the interview that i thought was interesting was he mentioned that,

and I don't know when he was checking in with Ariana. I don't know when this check-in was. But he said, I guess Ariana said, of all the guys, I'm the only one that's checked in with her. Me out of all people. She was like, Jax Taylor's the only guy who checked in. You know, who checked up on me? To be fair, we don't know when this check-in was and it would

make i feel like for schwartz especially i could see why he would maybe be like i'm not i might not be the first person she wants to hear from right now but also do we believe this i don't i don't believe what do you mean that that jacks is the only person to reach out. The only guy who checked in. Who's saying it? Well, Jax is saying that when he reached out to Ariana, she said you're the only guy who's reached out. I doubt he's going to lie about that. But also, what if he reached out like 30 minutes after it broke?

Yeah. And then at that point, we don't know the timeline. Yeah. I don't have a good timeline. Someone could have reached out the next day. Where's Brock and all of this well i that's what i'm saying i'm like zero percent chance sheena didn't like be like brock write a fucking message i don't think she means like brock i mean hell i i text ariana it's not

like you know what i'm saying like i think within this group of friends of they you know i'm not that close with ariana you know like you're not one of the boys not one of yeah i'm not in her circle so she's really adding james and schwartz in this my guess is yeah yeah people who probably should have reached out i'm so excited to re-watch older seasons of vanderpump because they're starting to pop up on my tiktok and like some of these scenes and i know a lot of it's just edited and changed, but there is a scene where Raquel asks James if he thinks that she's dumb and they edit it, whether or not it happened this way, for him to pause for like 30 seconds before he goes, no, of course not. I saw that too.

Oh my God. I don't know. But the mid-season trailer looks good. I haven't seen This week's episode yet We'll probably talk A little bit about it On Vile Files Plus Vile Files Plus for sure

Yeah It's the rage Like Also Sandoval going What do you want me to do And Ariana's like Do you want anything

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new customers get $5 off a Lume starter pack with code VIALL at LumeDeodorant.com. Well, I mean, there's a lot of anger in the trailer. Another person who is kind of in the hot seat for displays of anger, Nick Lachey, our beloved Perfect Match host. Yeah, Perfect Match

and Love is Blind host. Love is Blind with the way. You may know him from Perfect Match as everyone going, Nick Lachey. I feel like he's getting screwed. So for people who are not aware, he had an altercation

with a photographer. I think it was like March of 2022. And he was not charged with misdemeanor assault and battery because instead he's participating in L.A. D.A.'s prefiling diversion program, which has been established in 2017. And basically, it's a condition where you go to anger management classes attend aa meetings and successful completion of this pre-filing program will result in no criminal charges so it's basically being like if you really fucked up you can be like i'm so sorry i fucked up let me do the work and then they'll be like okay no slap on your permanent record is it really the work i mean i'm curious like how many times he has to show up for an AA meeting? Is he, and I hope I'm not speaking ignorantly or out of turn,

but if you're not an alcoholic or you're not an addict of any kind, what's the purpose of going to AA other than maybe to support a friend? And how many times does he have to go? Does he have to stay in it? Does he get a sponsor? Does he go up and speak, hi, I'm nick lachey and i'm an alcoholic like what does that look like maybe nick lachey is an alcoholic i don't know or like maybe he got drunk one night like this why is going to aa part of this process i think because in the video

like the the photographer who he was very physically aggressive towards said like even says in the video like I can smell alcohol in your breath have you been drinking I don't doubt that he was drinking but like what does AA have to do with that isn't alcoholic anonymous for like addicts yeah I guess the

implication would be that like you are not in control of your relationship with alcohol or you're because you got drunk one night i think well i think he's kind of benefiting from that not getting a criminal charge and just being told like and i get that like if i'm in nick lachey's shoes i'm like yeah i'm gonna take that right this whatever anger management like even what is that i i wouldn't be shocked if it's a total joke of a class who knows maybe it's amazing i i don't know but like it was established in 2017

it's like sounds like it was made like a jail get out of jail free card for people like nick lachey who like fucked up or whatever and got angry and some petty photographers now suing or going after nick lachey but i'm just wondering and again again, correct me out there, whoever knows more about AA, like just because he got drunk one night, what is going to AA going to do? You know? And does he have to stand it for a year? My understanding is like, once, you know, you're an alcoholic, you're always an alcoholic. And like, you stay in AA, you go to meetings, you get a sponsor and you go and you listen to people's story. And at some point you get encouraged to just, you know, go up. We've all seen the movies. Hi, nick lachey and alcoholic and you tell your stories and like

i don't think you know let's assume you know every once in a while nick gets drunk because we all you know many of us have like does hey i'm nick lachey and a paparazzi fucked me over it says on aa's website anyone with a desire to stop drinking is welcome regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religion. You don't have to pay anything. You can just sit and listen and learn more about recovery or you can share about your situation. It's completely up to you.

What if he doesn't want to stop drinking? Because I've seen the video. This is a debate that we can have that people have all the time. But there was a paparazzi photographers. It sounded like Nicholas Shea felt like his privacy is being not respected. Now, granted, he's out in public and like you can kind of do it, you know. Yeah, well, he's not technically he's not entitled to that privacy. But you want to hear his statement? Yeah. He said last night after enjoying a great dinner with my wife and our dear friend, the paparazzi harassed us as we were walking back to our hotel. I clearly overreacted. I've been in this game long enough to know that their antics are sadly part of the deal. Stupid of me. Done.

and some of them are not. And after a while, they might just follow you for an entire night. It can feel really shitty. Shavings make a pile kind of thing. We're seeing this reaction and we might not see a photographer. Yeah, and then they have him on tape and they have this one kind of out of context moment

where he looks like an ass. Maybe he was a total ass. I don't know. But I think it's far more likely that Nick Lachey is not going to stop drinking, that he's like an ass maybe he was a total ass i don't know but i think it's far more likely that nick lachey is not going to stop drinking that he's not an alcoholic and and i'm just wondering why is he being made to go to aa it just seems like stupid anger management okay i guess but even then it's like hey man next time you're getting harassed by a paparazzi like i imagine that this was like the best like his his lawyer was like, okay, here's the best thing.

Totally. We're going to lean on the alcoholic. I just think it's like, if I'm Nick Lachey, I take the deal. But I think it's just, it's stupid. Stupid. I mean, yeah, I would be very curious. Because I've been to Al-Anon meetings, which are like the meetings that AA has for like family members. very curious because I've been to Al-Anon meetings, which are like the meetings that AA has for like family members. And I, yeah, I feel like a big part of like AA as a whole and their philosophy

is this like zero barrier to entry. Like in no way are we going to question you? Like it takes, it takes so much emotional energy to like show up. They're welcoming everyone. I get it. Right. So I'm curious, like what an alcoholic's perspective is, or like somebody who's like a big part of the AA community who like, for whom this has been an essential resource in like changing their life how they feel about this kind of like oh so you're just going to show up at our meetings so you don't have to get a criminal record yeah it's just use it as a get out of jail free card or maybe they would have the perspective of like you know what even if he's not yet there yet of really believing that this is an issue if he's behaving that way on alcohol his drinking is a problem and him being here and listening to others is helpful i don't i think

it's hard because we don't know you could have been he could have been sober and had that reaction and just happened to have been drunk and the difference between yeah like alcohol might have been the difference between sober nicolash being like i shouldn't know better i shouldn't react and just like you know we've we've all gotten upset drunk or not and been like you know you know i i overreacted i'm sorry no one's walking through life ever never having to have i would apologize for losing their temper you know like we don't all have to go to anger management just because someone's like fuck you know what i lost my cool a little bit there i apologized you know yeah but this is also like assault and battery technically like losing your temper versus and the assault part was him

grabbing the camera so hitting the car window so the photographer said he flipped me off then i heard vanessa say go get him open the door and then he started walking towards my car all aggressive i immediately locked my door and rolled up my window as fast as i could he then started punching the window i thought he was going to break his hand that's how hard he was hitting the glass i'm surprised he didn't shatter the window so he beat up a window well she also claims he called her a pussy motherfucker shoved his arm through my car window and tried to grab my cell phone and added that she could smell alcohol in his breath for sure i mean listen he overreacted for sure anyway this sounds like a silly story yeah i mean you don't think so with

all the things going on in this world like i don't know yeah some some paparazzi who's like harassing someone else and then a celebrity who i think is overreacted and you know privileged and a little entitled you know like whatevs like I guess I just think it's kind of like I feel like I don't know that I have like a strong like my mind has kind of changed a little bit as we've been talking about it so I feel like it's interesting and like a discussion topic but kind of bullshit

as like a front line news story what else we got bad bunny's ex girlfriend suing him for 40 million dollars for using her voice in music without her permission how does she prove that well now he wasn't the bad bunny video i know so i obviously i feel like insider scoop like he he did definitely try to like ask her out multiple times how did that happen like how how did we get to her being in the music video her modeling agency they i guess

like they scouted her i don't know know. There was a specific ask for her, and they reached out to her modeling agency, reached out to Natalie. And then after, you could just tell people from his team just kept calling her and asking her to come back. So she got released, and then she forgot. She left her bag there, so we went back to the shoot together just because we were running some errands. After she left her bag there so we went back to the shoot together just because

we were running some errands and after she left and like you have to sign out when you get done with like a film job or whatever you know bad bunny is known for like bringing random people to like lakers games or whatever their production company specifically reached out be like benito wants to take you to the the laker game and shoot another scene. And they're going to get all this press. And I was like, no. And then the next day she had a scheduled shoot and then she got done. And then when she left after she signed out,

someone from her team called again. They're like, Oh, well, did you leave already? That she's like, yeah. She's like,

well, Benito was hoping to say goodbye to you. She's like, well, I already left. And then it's five minutes later, another person called and they're like, so yeah, we just like a total fuck up in scheduling.

Can you come back? We need to know how to shoot another scene with you. And you could tell it was totally bullshit. They just were trying to figure out how to get her to come back so Bad Bunny can make a move on Natalie. Wild. It was kind of hysterical. Wowee.

Yeah. Hot commodity. From Natalie Joy to Kendall Jenner. I know. Literally, I was like, could have been you. He's like, well, I couldn't get that brunette, so here we go. So anyways, 40 mil, huh? 40 mil.

Is her voice in it? Yeah, it's her saying bad bunny baby. And it's used in two songs, I believe. Sounds like she's got a case. Yeah. I don't think she's going to make 40 mil. But they'll settle. To my knowledge,

like with Grammys, if you're in a studio and you make any form of contribution, you have to be credited. So literally, if you sit in for one day and you're like, hey, maybe you should make that kick drum a little louder, you can be credited. Not necessarily monetarily that kick drum a little louder like you can be credited not necessarily monetarily but like for a grammy you would basically what happens if you're not though i'm sure there's a lot of instances where you're not but it's like people have been like i made one small contribution so i'm like

tacked on to this award yeah it'll be interesting how what it ends up being but he'll have to pay something yeah you can't just use someone's voice and not tell them, not credit them. Yeah. I don't know. That's the thing that's- Maybe he didn't,

like, my guess is, you know, he probably, I don't know how long Bad Bunny's been around. He's huge, like,

one of the biggest artists in the world right now, but maybe he just didn't, like, back when he was, like, first starting making music, maybe he didn't think much of it.

And that's such a thing where it's like, you think about when you're dating, when you feel like, you feel so on the same team as the person you're with like it's not on your in your headspace in the same way that like they could try to use anything against you like i feel like if you have those kind of paranoid thoughts you're like oh i'm having some paranoid thoughts in my relationship i gotta work on that maybe it's a little bit different when you're like an

artist and you're inserting like relationship stuff into livelihood but like still like i wouldn't you know what like my ex used a like photo of me for his like album thing then if he became the biggest artist in the world you might uh reconsider your position on that if you found out he became a multi-zillionaire or whatever i would honestly be so proud i think his music is so wonderful. And, but like, you were, he didn't give you any credit.

You made no money. And meanwhile, you just see the, just money pouring in. I think it would definitely depend on the breakup. Like if you were still like a little jaded because the breakup, absolutely.

I got your ass. You felt guilty because you broke his heart and be like, oh, get it, babe. Proud of you. They'll settle and be like, oh, get it, babe. Proud of you. They'll settle.

She'll probably make a mil out of it. Good for her. There we go. Get your back. Or half a mil. Something meaningful. She'll get a purse, at least. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Or a Lakers game. Yeah. It's a good situation. Yeah, or a Lakers game. We have tons more stories, but we don't have time for them now, so we'll hit them in our pop roundup. Vile Files Plus.

If you haven't checked out Vile Files Plus, be do so it's a seven day free trial super easy just go to vilefiles.com just hit a button to subscribe pay with apple pay 699 699 most easy cancel anytime uh you get more and more uh caller updates you get pop culture roundup you get all the episodes a better date than ever all the rom-com recaps you can handle we're going to be recapping vanderpump rules from the beginning from the get uh if you haven't uh listened to uh my interviews from the ladies from my season talking about my season if you like that sort of thing it was wild it was fun and those episodes are all available so be sure to check that out. Don't forget, next week we have Ariel. Ariel, we're going to find out next week.

Ariel will be coming to the studio directly after AFR to chit-chat with us. It'll be a lot of fun. And then we'll put that episode up as soon as it's ready sometime Tuesday, Monday, Tuesday night. It'll be out early on Tuesday for everyone. Hopefully ASAP, so be sure to check that out. And we'll be breaking down everything that happens that night, get to know Ariel a little bit better, find out her thoughts on Fantasy Suite Week,

what happened, what happened behind the scenes, how did she feel about it? And then obviously we'll get to know her a lot more, just Ariel the person, not Ariel on The Bachelor. and that's going to be our going deeper episode and our recap for the bachelor will be on thursday uh so ashley gavin ashley gavin very funny comedian yeah uh so that'll be a ton of fun anything else we're missing don't forget another episode of better date than never starts tonight we're talking sex Don't forget another episode of Better Date Than Never starts tonight. We're talking sex injuries. Yeah.

Should be fun. So if you have a fun sex injury story, be sure to join us live because the comments are popping off. The comments have been fun, super fun. It's a great community. People are making friends there. If you're feeling a little lonely, maybe you just want a sense of a community, I'm telling you, the Better Date Than Never live chats are a lot of fun. People truly are connecting there.

And that's something that if you're just, again, feeling maybe feeling a little lonely, come hang out with us tonight, 9 p.m. Eastern. You won't regret it. And then for anyone who can't make it again, all those episodes are available on Better Date Than Never. All right. Go to the Vile Files Instagram story. We're doing March Madness for love songs.

It's still, you know, we're in the round of 64. I get it. There's a lot of songs out there, but it's going to get heated. It's going to get heated. There's going to be

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Stay on your side of the goddamn booth. Yeah, comment on your booth etiquette. All right, Rachel Bilson, everybody. Listen, people, like most of us are just not great with our money. Do you even know what our interest rate is or how it works or, you know, if you're spending or saving properly? Well, the good news is you don't need to because Rocket Money is here for you.

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Yeah, we just did one. Ooh, fun. Yeah. Nick wants the next one to be at his house. You've got to do it. I offered. I don't want it. Hey.

He was begging. He really wanted it. Every day he's texting me. Please. He's trying to play it cool, but. Yeah, those are fun parties. Yeah. I hate organized fun.

You hate organized fun? But we'll do the organizing for you but you were on the bachelor for four seasons oh well that wasn't fun sometimes it had to have been fun sure i mean sometimes how many times you could count on one hand paradise was fun paradise looks like fun like if could go to Paradise, like I just want to do, I want the host's job because that would just be fun. Or Wells' job. Yeah. I don't know how to make drinks though. But I feel like just being there

would be a lot of fun. I don't know if Wells really knows how to make drinks. He's just there. I feel like he's a very integral part. I'm sure Wells has learned how to make drinks. I would hope so.

You can pour a shot or a margarita. That's very easy. It's like there's skilled bartenders and then there's personality bartenders. It's not a mixology bar down there in paradise is it pretty basic i think so it's like kirkland tequila oh my gosh probably by the way i feel like kirk someone told me kirkland vodka is gray goose yes yeah my brother and my sister-in-law are big into the vodka, and they told me this recently. That what?

Kirkland Vodka. Like the Costco brand is Grey Goose. Is Grey Goose. Like same distillery? The exact same. There's nothing different, or it's the same distillery? I don't know those details. I took a swig out of one the other weekend.

It was pretty smooth. Okay. You're like, I'm not mad at Kirkland Vodka. Rachel, how's it going? Welcome. Oh, hi, Nick. Well, how's your heart? How's my heart?

Yeah. We ask all our guests. How your heart is? Yeah. My heart's pretty full with Kiki here. Usually it's like a reality TV star who's like on the brink of- Like just ultimate- Trauma.

Heartbreak and fucking- But, you know- Can you pass on here? Sorry. Yeah, you can pass. But how is your heart? It's full because Kiki's here with me. Yeah, the office dog. Yeah, you can pass. But how is your heart? It's full because Kiki's here with me. Yeah, the office dog.

Yeah, I'm obsessed. You know, she's a chihuahua of sorts, right? Yes. Mix. Yeah. I was not into chihuahuas for a long time until I really knew one. He was a chihuahua mix. Anyway, now I have a very fond feeling towards them.

Okay. And towards dogs like yours, like Jeff. Jeff, yeah. Yeah, a doodle. I'm jeff yeah a doodle i'm a fan you'll have to meet him someday uh yeah for sure i have a shit poo so she's is that the actual name well she's a shih tzu poodle so no it's not it's she poo but i feel like she's a little shit so it works okay yes but you're doing well i'm doing well you're thriving how are you doing pretty great yeah yeah i like the new studio thank you you're welcome what's new uh what's new other than you i have here oh boy what do you have orgasms dot dot dot you made headlines saying uh-huh i sure did and i knew you hadn't had an orgasm that's not true you hadn't had an orgasm via sex let's let's clear this up in the v okay

and then and then amanda said care to elaborate i do care to elaborate i do care to elaborate guys and i knew you know i knew this was going to come up i figured it would be your opener and here we are um i had my job i had whitney cummings on my broad ideas podcast she was explaining to me that she got off birth control and at 40 she was able to have an orgasm through sex actual you know penetration like it's happening then p and the v sure and i just jumped on that and i was like when i was older i was able to do that too because now let me tell you guys it has nothing to do with any partners okay people like to just make stories it had to do with me knowing my body so we're like was your fan base this like just up in your exes like just comments being like you suck at sex apparently there were certain names brought up in both regards and i'm not okay with that because it had nothing to do with that.

We were not shaming any exes. No. It wasn't okay. Or giving a trophy to any other exes. Like nobody was involved other than myself. Okay. It was all about me. I can now do it.

I'm sure. I don't want to say with any partner, but I feel like because I know my body well enough, potentially I could. It's all about knowing my own body and myself. What was the secret sauce, so to speak? Well, maybe anatomy has a little bit to do with it sometimes, but it's really finding, you know. Look, I still get a little embarrassed talking about this stuff. My mom is very open sexually, so my whole life sex has been on the table.

OK, like just talking about it. I still get a little like, you know, I don't know if I want to talk about this, but it's positioning. It's comfortability. It's knowing your body. All those things come into play. OK. Do you feel like psychologically kind of like your head space plays a big role? For sure.

Well, you get in your head, right? And then there's pressure and all these things come into play uh but once you're comfortable and like i said once you like know how uh then you can kind of make it happen for yourself does that make sense are you guys able to nope are you like i'm turning it on you i genuinely i'm like i text my friends and i'm like do i need to see a doctor like that's the stage i'm at it's like i don't know the exact statistic but it's somewhere in the 80th percentile of women that can't or haven't had an orgasm via via yeah but because it actually is nothing.

My mom went into detail with this on how it works. And it's not really like the woman doesn't really have a G spot. And it's about the positioning and your clit and like all these things. And I don't. You can have my mom on if you'd like. And she can explain it. No, I'm not. No, she's at the eye doctor.

I tried to call her. I tried to call her on mine and i didn't tell her she's being recorded and she got so mad okay so we won't do that we won't do that right now but if you care to know more she would be happy to elaborate okay but that makes sense right did you um prior to this revelation uh guys are commonly known for phrases like did you come and stuff like that during sex is that what you say every time nick not me but um but you make sure your girl is taken care of but have you ever lied or faked the orgasm no never so i stand by I never have. I know a lot of women that do. But, and it's, like we said,

it's not easy for a lot of women. And, you know, I will give credit where credit's due. And like, you can still have really good sex without it. But I just, I don't like to lie. That's great. It's as simple as that. I just don't like to lie. On our recent episode of Better Date Than Never, which is our live show where we talk about like sex and dating and things like

that it was a big discussion point where it became evident that the ladies uh callers uh people who listening suggested it was a rare occasion for men they dated to check in ask them things that they like what do you enjoy, et cetera, et cetera. It's just a kind of a lack of communication. You know, it sounds like, you know, you were raised with a level of comfort around sex. Is that something, you know, that younger you was always open with?

And how did you communicate and make sure your expectations were met during sex? Or was that still something that, you know, you had to get over? And did you experience men you know not giving a shit and not checking in and not asking you what you enjoyed and and how did you kind of rectify that and what changed for you in dating uh if it did change those are like a hundred questions yeah i'm sorry yeah i'm gonna do my best here uh obviously different partners everything you, it's all different. And there's certain guys that check in and there's certain guys that like to put the woman first.

And I think it also goes back to like first dates. Like, is he asking you questions? Is he listening or is he just talking about himself? And, you know, those kind of go hand in hand in my experience with people's character like you can kind of tell well i don't know some people put on a front sure but i think that is telling but yeah every guy's different i do think it's it's nice when the dude like checks in with you too of course but i am a people pleaser. This is a problem of mine. I can get pretty old fashioned and like I have to take care of my dude and, you know,

I fall into that pattern. But as I've gotten older, I think I've become more vocal and more comfortable with being vocal about it. Great. Like I have no follow-up. You're like, okay. Where do we go from here? pay it forward like just he's the starbucks barista you're in the drive-thru and you're passing it back to the person yeah like things are you'll intervene for their frap yeah

like where you'll intervene be like this is like for the greater good of society more people need to behave like this oh gosh and you're just talking about like like have you ever given like an ex a breakup note on the way out be Be like, hey, by the way, in the future, stop doing this with future girls or do this. Have you ever done that? I'm kind of cutthroat to a fault. My friends say when I get cutthroat, like because I get over things a little too easily. Like I have a switch and then I'll be done. You're just over it.

And I'm out. Maybe that's not the best as far as like communication goes, because you could have a conversation like why things didn't work or whatever but yeah i communication is great it's it's difficult for me and i can speak personally to be super communicative in that area like in the bedroom unless i'm really comfortable with someone i think and as far as like paying it forward I mean I think I pay them a lot of forwards first if that makes any sense

oh god Rachel Bilson the generous lover get me out of this pit here we can debunk the fact that it seems like nowadays when you get written up about past relationships or even myself

they'll throw in they'll throw in us our super epic relationship yeah a dinner a confirmed dinner a confirmed dinner

with a group of people with a group of people that never happened like yeah no Nick and I never dated we did troll the internet we did

yeah so that's on us that is on us it was we were messing around yeah not together but I mean with the internet we did yeah so that's fun that is on us like it was we were we were messing around yeah not together but i mean we're both epically single and we wanted the attention this is a shit story question but do you feel like there's one of you obviously like neither you were very happy like keeping it where it was do you think there was one of you who was like more open to being like if it progressed i feel slightly more open to that possibility

i don't think so i don't think it ever got to a point where it was a thought. Yeah, because she was on my podcast. We became good friends. I quickly had this idea. We almost did a Bachelor podcast together. Because I'm obsessed with Bachelor. Well, not as of late, but I am a fan.

So we, instead of recapping on the Vile Files, which we started doing in Januaryuary rachel and i were going to do a like a spin-off podcast and you know she was going to be like the celebrity guest and i was going to be the insider and it was gonna be called making love with nick and rachel i had an instagram saved already for it yeah and then she got some gig and then she bailed on me. I did. I bailed. Yeah. But yeah, but that's why. And while we were like, you know, planning the show, we were like trolling each other, probably like in anticipation for.

It was literally to get attention for the podcast. You know, it was like, okay, that's a tease up to what we're doing. Even though it didn't come to fruition, it was, that was the intention. That was the intention. Do you still have the Instagram handle? got rid of it yeah yeah because a partner would be like who the fuck is rachel yeah right that wouldn't be what is this username making love it just said making love that was the instagram handle it was just at making love yeah yeah it was clever i would have followed that feels like a valuable handle to have i think it

would have done well i think it would have done well. I think it would have done well. I mean, our show's doing great, but I think it would have been excellent. Yeah, right. It could have been great. Well done. Well done.

I mean, you bailed. I did bail. Look, it's a fine line, you know, like acting and podcasting and, you know. It all worked out. You're thriving. We're thriving. Everyone's thriving.

Everyone's thriving. I don't believe in regrets in regrets okay what's something that you would have done differently in the past looking back in a relationship um i kind of like get into it a little quickly like pretty serious you fall hard yeah i guess i mean it's like mutual it's not like i'm just like on one end like tripping over my own feet but i tend to invite that in pretty prematurely and i reciprocate okay and i've learned that you know taking time is a good thing you know all about that right yeah i have also been guilty of falling fast and hard. Right. Yeah. You're on your third engagement?

Hi, Nick. Touche. Hi. Hi. I'm loving this. This is going really well, guys. I'm so glad we got Rachel on. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Can't help it. This is how I am with my friends. So, bling ring. Cut through. Yep. Bring it on. I got lots of stuff. That bling ring. Yep. Bring it on. I got lots of stuff. That sucked.

It did suck. Yeah. It did. You know, it's very violating to have anything happen to you. For example,

the other day, Natalie left her car unlocked one, you know, and realized that someone opened the door. Now, granted,

she left it unlocked, but you know, people, you know, when your car's in a parking lot, some people just go around and see if people just leave the car to open. and realized that someone opened the door. Now, granted, she left it unlocked, but, you know, people, you know, when your car's in a parking lot, some people will just go around, see if people just leave the car door open.

I didn't know that was a thing. And she, you know, when she has a secure, you know, it will let her know if her car door's open, so she got a notification. And that alone was just a very kind of, it just gives you the heebie-jeebies, you know? It's very violating. For sure.

And I can only imagine what that was like. Like, how did you find out that this was going on and and and what how did you deal with that how did you deal with realizing that people were in your house and doing god knows what i mean that must have been i know what they were doing but um yeah i i was out of town and they went into my house apparently like five times five separate times. And my biggest takeaway, and I've talked about this before, is one of the girls got so comfortable she shit in my bathroom. And I was like, if you're taking a poop in someone's bathroom, like you're a little comfortable, you know, like that's a little too comfortable for me. And I think that was the most violating more than like taking the things. But here's the thing, like i forget who discovered it maybe my

mom or something and she's like you know the house has been robbed but it's really weird because like all the tvs like all the things that you would think would be stolen you know if someone's burglarizing a home weren't she's like all your clothes are gone like all your purses are gone all your shoes are gone now i wear a size five like five and a half so i don't know what they were doing with those so it was just really weird so we knew it was something like something was up um so yeah it was super violating it felt awful uh and for a long time once we found out this bling ring existed and they were responsible i was like dude these fucking kids just they don't realize realize how this affects the people.

It's super violating. And then I got robbed again by not the bling ring, I believe it was paparazzi related, at a house I was renting, all my purses, all my shoes. I was like, dude. First of all, I gotta stop buying purses and shoes. And second of all, gotta stop buying purses and shoes and second of all what the fuck is your home security system just i got like i got top notch now yeah yes definitely um and it sucks because you can just google people and find out where they live yeah right i'm sure someone

could google your name and get your address oh no i literally was staying at nick's house one time and he was at ben higgins wedding yeah and so like everyone was posting that he's out of town with natalie they're at ben higgins wedding i'm there by myself and i was like i'm gonna get bling ringed and i was like and who's gonna protect me jeff like i was like not jeff he'd pee on them he would do a tiny squirt of pee he'd have a little tingle he does not. He'd pee on them. He would do a tiny squirt of pee. He'd have a little tingle. He does the excited pee? Here's the thing. I've had, yeah, he does the excited pee, but loud yippy dogs are actually great security dogs

because I had literally a Secret Service agent tell me this who also did some security for me. Just kind of gave me the tour around my house, told me some vulnerable spots, how to fortify my place so to speak because i had like a i had a catfish show up at my door you had a catfish yeah how did that what elaborate well i was like like a list of the swam to my no i um uh it was actually really it was really traumatic the woman was catfished so a woman was catfish into thinking it was nick

talking to her it was me oh got it okay and thank you and apparently there was someone else doing this i don't know or people or whatever yeah occasionally i'd get i get some random message saying so and so is trying to be you and you're you know if you can catch it then you report them on instagram or block them or whatever and then i got some random fucking weird like bouquet of flowers and this really weird note and then we kind of reported that it was this kind of weird

and then like two weeks later like seven in the morning some young woman not young I don't know probably 30 or 40 I don't know showed up at my door from Toronto what? and was like in this panic

and I immediately knew what it was and i kind of i as soon as i answered the door i like you opened the door yeah and then don't ever open the door i was like number one yeah well at first do you not have like a gate no i i didn't know it was a person at my door okay and then i opened the door and immediately realized what it what was going on and i kind of like closed it and i i quickly realized i was safe like i i was like okay this person's not gonna kill me they're just i felt i felt empathy for them it was person this person had been like duped for a long period of time and and wow and needed to like verify that it like yeah it wasn't what she thought it was and got on a plane and it was traumatic and crazy

and I had to talk her off the ledge, so to speak, and she kept saying, I'm not crazy, I'm not crazy, and I said to her, I hear you, but I need you to breathe and recognize that what you're doing right now is. And then she kind of heard me a little bit, but I digress. to breathe and recognize that what you're doing right now is. And then she kind of heard me a little bit, but I digress. Anyways, after that, I kind of had a security team come and just give me some information.

And they mentioned how when it comes to burglars and home invasions like that, most of them, they're looking for convenience, right? So loud dogs, they'll skip that house burglars and like home invasions like that most of them they're looking for convenience right so you know loud dogs like they don't like they'll skip that house because it's like that's just creating a noise like so anything that really makes it inconvenient for them because so many people are like leaving windows open or gates open and like they don't want to hop and jump fences you know like obviously if they have clothes maybe they can put on a backpack but like

loud dogs even if they're little, are actually great security dogs. It's like you don't have to outrun the bear. You just have to outrun the other people you're with kind of thing. I'm safe with cakes. So if a burglar walks up and they hear a dog just kind of, you know, Jeff, if someone comes up to the door and he senses them, he'll go off. And that's a big deterrent. For sure. Yeah.

My dog's a yipper. She's eight pounds. Have you ever been catfished or someone pretend to be you or ever had a weird situation like that? I mean, I think there are fake, you know, Instagrams and whatnot. I don't know that I've been catfished. And if I have, I haven't, you know, gone to the extent of finding out if they thought I was real or vice versa. Does that make sense?

Yeah. I don't know. What's your favorite smell and what do you think it says about you? My favorite smell in general? Yeah. What's yours? You gotta answer first.

What's my favorite smell and what do I think it says about me? Yeah, I wanna hear it. Burning wood, campfire smell. That's a good one up there. I don't know if it's my favorite, but it's the first thing that came to mind. Okay. What does that say about me?

Oh yeah. Uh, I'm nostalgic and I like fire. Those are, yeah. Okay. That works. What about you? Um, I like, uh, cooking. Like when you have have onion or garlic, cooking in a pan, it reminds me of my grandma.

Isn't that sweet? Yeah. But I also like a man smell, like if you're in love with someone, their smell, even if it's bad, you're just into it. I don't know what that says about me. Probably good, like your...

A good thing? Sure. I would say that's good. Yeah, pheromones are important, by the Sure. I would say that. Yeah, pheromones are important. I would say that's good. I would say that's like you're comfortable with yourself. Okay. That's what I would say it means. I like that. Because like there's a level of you're not like ew.

Right. You know, like, you know. But don't you feel like. Body odor is a personal thing. It's personal. Pheromones are really. Like I've hooked up with someone before and I'm like, ooh, you like kind of smell like my grandpa.

I don't. I can't go there. You know what I mean? That happened. Not with my grandpa, but. No, but with, with a guy who smelled like your grandpa. Yeah. I was like, this isn't going to work.

Did you tell him why? No. What's dating for you like nowadays? What's going on? Like what, are you out there? Are you on the app? No, I'm not. I've never been on an app.

Ever? Ever. That makes sense. You've been too famous for too long. Well, I don't know about that, but thanks, Nick. Well, you have. I don't know. There's been pressure from my friends to get on Raya, but I don't want to do it.

Raya is, I mean, I guess you might be able to meet someone, but- No, I'm not. Basically, I'm no, I'm not going to go on an app. I'll just say that. And how are you meeting people? Have you slid into any dms no i've never done that why not how do you feel about that well that's how you met your fiancee yeah she's sending to mine right yeah so like it's positively received it can be yeah i've never

done it have you guys done it oh all the time all the time she shoots her shot it's so impressive you do i'll like find like musicians on tiktok and then i'll go to their instagram and i'll be like let's grab a drink next time you're in la and i usually get pretty positive feedback they have never taken me up on my offer but i usually get so have you ever thought about it did you ever you were ever have you ever been on the old gram and like you know scrolling and you're just like like i don't i would like to get to know this person. You've never... I mean, sure. Like, you're like, oh, like, he's cute or whatever.

But I don't know if I have the balls to be like... I find that hard to believe. Really? You seem like you... Sure. In a lot of areas, sure. But, like, making the first move is like a whole different ballgame. So do you think most of your relationships, you have been the pursued one?

Yes. And look, I'm 41. I have no problem with... I feel comfortable enough with myself to be like, hey, if you get rejected, you get rejected. Whatever. I just don't... I just haven't...

I don't know. What about a passive slide? Like what? You could just respond to like something. Something they post? Like, oh, cute shirt. Like, I don't know. A soft slide.

Yeah, just like an opener. A soft slide? That makes you like, you're like kind of. I like that. Yeah, you're just kind of. A soft slide. Responding to something. If it's not a slide, is it like a scooch?

Or is it just. Like it's not all the way. It's just like a little like. It's like a little toe. Yeah. If it's not a slide, is it like a scooch? Or is it just... It's not all the way. It's just like a little like... It's like a little toe. Yeah. If I were single and a lady of the night... All of a sudden, we're ladies of the night. So a sex vibe.

You or... Responded... A sex vibe? Like I posted... Let's say I posted, you know, like one of those creepy selfies I tend to do from time to time or whatever. Your mirror ones? What? Whatever. I just like... A shirtless. Yeah. Oh. you know like one of those creepy selfies i tend to do from time to time or whatever your mirror ones whatever i just like shirtless yeah uh and not even shirtless let's say it was just okay just

you in the mirror yeah just me in the mirror you know put on the today's outfit look of the day my ootd and and someone like replied like oh like love the shoes great look fire look or whatever or like where'd you get those pants and if i thought they were cute i'd strike up a conversation you know what if it was just like a random emoji like a potato yes that would be a move if conversation starter if she potatoes at the wedding if a person i was interested in like basically acknowledged that i was alive that it would be enough but how would the person know if they were interested in them?

send a potato emoji that's gonna be my move so if anybody out there sees a potato it's me yeah but that is more my move like them being like hey like fire outfit you should just send a bunch of potato emojis out there yeah

it's like fishing with dynamite. Potato of love. I mean, I don't know. I, yeah. If I try it, it will just be to see what happens. And I will let you know. So you have friends who are like. A little bit.

Look, I have a kid. I'm busy. It's not like I, it's not like I'm just like available to date whenever I want, you know. But I've been fine. I've been content. it's not like I'm just like available to date whenever I want, you know? Um, but I've been fine. I've been content, but like, I don't know.

I get to the point where like, I'm like, do I even want a relationship? I hear you. You know, you have your kid. You're, you're thriving.

Yeah. Like I'm pretty comfortable. If it's not serving you, like what's the point? It would have to be to actually take it to that level. It would have to be super actually take it to that level it would have to be super worth it how did you and bill meet oh my god nick sorry i just i was dying to know i know how did we meet uh oh well we did a movie together that's how we met okay initially

and it was called the to-do list which by the way his ex-wife Maggie Carey who's brilliant wrote and directed it and Aubrey Plaza stars in it and I play her sister. It is such a good movie. It's really funny and I feel like

The To-Do List. Yeah. Well, Aubrey Plaza, Rachel Bilson, All-Star cast. It has so many people in it. Andy Samberg's in it.

There's so many people in it. Donald Glover's in it. Yeah, anyway. What a great cast. It's a great cast. It's a great movie. The To-Do List. And we can find this like on Yeah, anyway. What a great cast. It's a great cast. It's a great movie. The to-do list. And we can find this

like on Amazon Plus or something? I would imagine. Or Amazon? It's a great film. Amazon Plus. Amazon, I don't think. Five by plus. Five by plus.

Paramount Plus with subscription or available for purchase on YouTube, Apple, Vudu, Google Play. There you go. It's a really funny movie. So yes, that is how we initially met. Other than super personal questions on a podcast what gets under your skin those don't get under my skin i just don't want to keep talking about homeboy what are my pet peeves yeah what are your pet peeves when

you park and then you walk to the store and then there's a closer parking spot have you moved your car you get mad at yourself have you gone back and moved your car those 30 steps really get under your skin my sister has made me stand there in the spot no she went and got the car do you know the death glares i got as i stood in a parking spot and i was like my sister's coming with the car i'm so sorry oh yeah that i wouldn't go to that level and respect to your sister and to you for doing it i didn't have a choice yeah uh oh i have a question okay tonight on better date than never plug we're talking sex injuries oh yeah have you had any sure care to elaborate

sex injuries you know where you just are out of commission for a while that's just because it was a good shag it was a good shag so it wasn't more of it was less like are you less of like an impact injury more wear tear wear and tear so to speak it was both yeah like an acl i don't like the word tear happening with like my cooter yeah it, it's not. Because that happens with childbirth. I mean, with sex, that would be quite the accomplishment on the gentleman's behalf. I'm sure.

Sorry. What? You all right over there? Yeah, I'm fine. Okay. So, no. I mean, not anything other than like...

Nothing that just, like it was just a couple... Not like you have to go to the doctor and get, you know, fixed. Do you have a favorite Halloween costume? Did you come up with these questions? The reason, okay, I'm going to defend myself. I like that question because I think it's like, there's an expansive possibility, but it's like focused enough.

Let's see where it goes. It's not like you have to like come up with it on the spot. Like it's hard to come up with a time that you've given a harsh, honest feedback, but you can think through your Halloween costumes. Is there one you're most proud of? Probably a hot dog. I like going against the grain. Oh, I'm going to wear a sexy

fairy. A sexy hot dog. Oh, that would be good. Yeah, no, I like being like, I go for the funny over the sexy, I guess. Okay. What are you watching these days? I know you haven't been watching Bachelor.

I haven't. Should I download? I have to go on a plane ride. Should I watch it? Should I binge it? Listen, everyone likes to complain. I think, especially when they stop watching. Yeah.

It's like the show's been out for 20 some years and then people are you know it makes sense that after you know it's kind of the same show every season but you have to like i find because bachelor in paradise is my favorite you need to watch so you know yeah some of the people i think this season's been entertaining i mean you know it's not it's always entertaining it's not groundbreaking tv is it kind of like Most seasons Sure Is Zach a little boring Like most bachelors Sure

Like but like Most bachelors Are boring You don't think so The past couple I haven't watched Because of that I think it's been

A great group of women They've been entertaining Okay Yeah It's really about that Yeah So like I don't know I've enjoyed

We've enjoyed talking about it You guys Do you think I should binge it? On the most recent season. It's a good pause. Well, do you like the love stories or the drama? I mean, I do like the love stories. There's some love stories this season.

There's love stories. I think it's like a slow build as opposed to like when it's like a lot of fighting week two and three. This week was sex week, according to Zach. Right. Yeah, and Zach. According to Zach.

Well, yeah, Zach called it sex week. I don't think he coined the phrase He called it sex week He He doesn't strike me as someone That would even like say that word I don't know But he delivered it in a way

Where he's like This week He said it very earnestly This week for two as Sex week And he like He took advice from Sean Lowe Yeah

And Sean Wait Sean Lowe is Yeah The one married to Catherine Yes And they have really cute kids Yeah

And then Apparently Sean told him not to have sex. What? I guess. What? I don't know. In so many words, apparently. He said, I'm not going to have sex this week.

He sat down with Jesse. He's like, hey, it's sex week, but this guy's not having sex. Zach's not having sex. He's like, because I got advice from Sean Lowe. That's what he said. Jesse was like, I don't know. You sure you don't want to fuck? And Zach was like- That's what he said. Jesse was like, I don't know, you sure you don't want to fuck? And Zach was like,

no, I don't want to. And then he had his first date with a woman named Ariel. Ariel. I think it's going to be Ariel. Pronunciation pending. We don't know if it's Ariel or Ariel. Then they've said it

and it's changed us. She is our guest next week. We will find out. She what? She's our guest next week. Oh, so she's done. She just was eliminated yeah oh she was eliminated on the show she just this is past week after sex week after

sex week you have her yeah and and then and then her his second date he was like he told every time he sat down with all these women he's like we're not having sex on camera and then the second day he's like we're not having sex on camera i mean i hope not well he just said on camera we're not having sex and then she was like we'll see and then they then they had sex they taught they admitted it zach wants to do the right thing he's well-intentioned with like really bad decision making and so then he decided to then tell uh he's like, he walked into Gabby's room. He's like, hey, so like,

that was amazing. But also like, I'm feel guilty because I said I wasn't going to do it. I'm about to have another date with someone else. I want to tell her. And she,

you could see the look on her face was like, well, you realize you're telling everyone, but thanks. So it's been fun. Okay. Yeah.

Well, now I know what happened. Well, sure. Okay. But it's okay. I'm okay with it. Yeah. Well, now I know what happened. Well, sure. Okay. But it's okay. I'm okay with it. Spoiler alert. Because I don't know how many of these people are.

But again, he's 25, 26? Yeah, ish. Yeah. He doesn't know what he's doing. Yeah. He grew up very, it sounds like he's had a wonderful life growing up in Pasadena. I think that's where he grew up. You always say Pasadena and he's from Anaheim what's the fucking difference that's a big difference thank you Rachel

big old difference he grew up in Anaheim his his his uncle is putty from Seinfeld oh yeah of course I know he was on the show yeah anyway you're not watching bachelor what are you watching these days what's keeping Rachel Bilson entertained I I tried as far as reality goes that's your wheelhouse I tried perfect match but I didn't see the last like two episodes you didn't miss anything I was like okay because I was sick so I just binged it because I was sick in bed and I'm like alright whatever are you team Francesca or team Georgia

because there's a big seems to be a big feud oh didn't you have I had them both on you had them both on not together but right what were they fighting over? Fame, I think, attention. I don't know. I don't know.

Georgia seemed like sweeter. Is that accurate? Yeah. I think they portrayed very different kind of character tropes on the show. I think Francesca's point of view was she was cast to play a certain role. I think a lot of people are questioning. I think she cast it herself. Exactly.

Is she really being cast that way or is that just her? Right. There's a lot of, you know, like, what are we seeing on the show versus what's happening behind closed doors? Because. Yeah. It seemed like Francesca wanted to play a role and she was very strategic. Fine.

No problem. And it backfired. And. Right. And then. Who did she end up with? Nobody? No one.

Now she's in a relationship, which, according to Georgia, she had before the show. They got in a fight about... Well, Georgia and Francesca were fighting over the internet about who's more disingenuous. Oh, jeez.

But they did both date Harry. Do we think it's just... Are they fighting over Harry? Did Harry come in later? I can't picture Harry. No, Harry didn't come on Perfect Match. Harry is from Harry Jowsey. He was on Too Hot to Handle.

Too Hot to Handle. I didn't watch those shows. I watched the recap of Love is Blind, or whatever it's called. The reunion. After the altar. After the altar. Yes. Oh, then New Season's coming out you're gonna

watch that yeah that'll be out in like a few days really i think march 24th yeah oh okay well i have my show i love that show did you what team raven well yeah i mean after finding out that the dude cheated on her sk sk tried to get on this show and you said no yeah yeah that's probably the move it just you know i want to hear like i want to hear everyone's side but his side seemed to be SK tried to get on this show. And you said no? Yeah. Yeah, that's probably the move. It just... Well, you had her on. I want to hear everyone's side, but his side seemed to be semantics. He didn't seem...

He was like, I'm sorry, but also I didn't do anything wrong. What? That's the gist I got. 100%. It was, well, I apologize that Raven felt this way, but at that point, I don't believe we were really in a committed relationship.

Plot twist, they had just been staying with her mother on a birthday trip and he was like meeting the family. Like it was just like, I was like, SK,

how can you say that? Yeah, no. And he was like, I took another girl to Cabo because I didn't think we were that serious. That was like his reason. Sounds like communications

faltering here a little bit. Yeah, I would go for team her. What keeps you up at night, Rachel? What do you worry about? Everything. Worry? Yeah, what do you worry about? I mean, stupid stuff.

Everything. My kid, you know, it's hard. Let me tell you. Are you going to have kids? I hope so. You want, you both want kids? Very much so, yeah. Okay.

You guys don't have kids? Mm-mm. Do you want kids? Yes. Okay. Allie's not sure. That's correct, Nick. You read that correctly well you have

a for a kid yeah i do yes a lot it takes up a lot of your mental capacity just but from logistics to their schedules and their extracurriculars to uh how they're handling other kids at school and drama and how that all goes do you have any advice for the audience for people co-parenting out there do you have any co-parenting advice because you co-parent with i'm not gonna say it yeah his name's darth i do co-parent and we do a good job you know what's the hardest part and what's the secret to doing a good job and and making that everyone's mental health is fine. Let me just say this. It is different for every single situation.

You know, they'll say, you need a clear boundary, a clear line, you know, keeping it separate. This is mom's house. These are mom's rules and these are dad's or whatever. Yes, sure. But it's all situational. With us, we do a very good job of staying on the same page. She still will spend time with both of us in certain circumstances.

But communication is huge. And, you know, we're friends, I'd like to to say hopefully he would say the same make it about the kid it's only about the kid yeah the kid comes before everything else any personal feelings anything that comes up the kid is first are there any elements of parenting where you've surprised yourself where like you know before having kids you might have envisioned yourself doing like being handling things a certain way or like being a certain kind of mom and like now actually experiencing it you're like wow i actually feel differently about that yeah i thought i would play more like the whole imaginary play thing my mom's great at it i'm like i will sit i will do a board

game i will color i will build things but you won't act because you're not getting paid. Acting is not my jam. It's interesting, right? But it also goes with me. I don't like attention on me. I've always said if I had a wedding, I would not want a big wedding. I don't want to walk down that aisle with people looking at me. That is a nightmare to me.

And they're like, you know you're an actor, right? And I'm like, it's a different thing. It's a different thing. I don't like attention. But yeah, the imaginary play is tough. You like attention. I know. You're like, I'm going to walk down the aisle.

No, I... Well, to say I don't like it... Nick is going to throw the petals. Yeah, I can't say I don't like attention. Of course I like attention, but in certain ways I hate attention. In what ways? I don't like compliments.

You don't like compliments. Make me feel very uncomfortable. I feel like you hate uns I hate attention. In what ways? I don't like compliments. You don't like compliments. They make me feel very uncomfortable. I feel like you hate unsolicited attention. What do you mean by that? Like, I think- You might be right. In situations where you can kind of, like, opt in or out to have, like, focus on your attention on you,

like, there's certain ones that you'll really participate in, but when people kind of, like, ambush you, so to speak, with attention- Yeah, I like- Like, you speak with attention yeah i like like you loved going i feel like on your book tour and you're really proud of the book and i feel like you enjoyed that attention yeah i sure right and i i enjoy um i guess being recognized for things that are important to me like your book yeah or working hard sure recognition i like but attention, I don't know if I like all that much. It's just funny from someone who's been on many a reality show. You've been in the spotlight for 20 years.

But that's my work, not my life. But in my work now, I'm turning into a job. You have. You know what? You've done very well, and I commend you on your success. So good job. You worked hard. Thanks.

You did great, Nick. Keep it going. I think you should keep doing this. You asked me when I was on your podcast. It hasn't dropped yet, has it? No, I think we're going to do you next week. We're bumping you up. You asked me a question if we were doing some Q&As, advice.

And you asked me, can you forgive were doing some Q&As advice, and you asked me, can you forgive a cheater or something like that? And we got into that. Yeah. Recently, we've been talking, we had people, they're asking us a lot of cheating and infidelity questions. Where do you stand? Because we had this kind of very popular, infamous caller.

It was a big episode. The call itself. The call itself. It elicited a lot of reactions okay uh she found out her friend was cheating on her boyfriend this was a group of friends they were all going to go on like a group trip her boyfriend was friends with her friend's boyfriend where do you stand on letting someone know uh they're being cheated on have you ever let someone know or do you fall in the it's not my business category like where do you stand on that i mean it's definitely not your place right like to reveal someone's

information i think encouraging them to do the right thing is your place sure maybe what happens if they don't ever we had a situation in our group of friends where one of our best friends slept with one of our best friends ex-boyfriends who she was super into granted she was very wasted she then became sober but forever like all of us knew except the friend whose ex-boyfriend it was so it was always like you have to tell her because like we have all this information and we're super uncomfortable. Now I can't, I feel like it came to a point where one of our friends actually told the friend instead of the friend that did it, I think. Because she ultimately refused.

Yeah. I just don't think she was, it was, we were very young, like, you know, early twenties, you know, things are a little muddled and whatnot. They're more muddled in that age i think for sure yeah absolutely that's why i'm always like how are these 23 year olds going on these fucking shows to get married like dude life and age and experience there's a lot of worth in that there's a lot of you know lessons you just you really do become i people have said you're 40 how old are you 42 you're 42 40s are fucking

awesome i feel much better about myself now than i ever did have you ever been cheated on sure not everyone has or not everyone knows or whatever yeah like young like young super young like first relationships kind of thing you know which is kind of shitty because then it's like oh your first experience you had to deal with this and it happens now here's this thing we talk about a lot on broad ideas is emotional cheating versus physical cheating where do you stand on that did i ask you this already i don't think so but what do you mean where do i stand okay so some people feel that physical is worse or emotional is worse i don't think there's a worse i mean it's subjective you do yeah what's what do you think is worse physical could just be like i fucked someone like there's

no feelings there it was like just a physical thing i feel like that's easier to mend from an emotional which is like a real connection where people fall in love sure like i feel like that's more hurtful that's my stance on it yeah but how do you but how do you define then emotional cheating right i mean in that case that you gave it sounds like there was a romantic relationship and that turned into love the example like an emotional affair yeah an emotional affair i think also like length sometimes but a lot of people will like you know just like if you're you know let's say someone's in a relationship and they get bored or whatever whatever triggers them to cheat.

I don't know. Who knows? But they start texting someone. And it's just like maybe it's you look hot or, you know, or it's just like they're saying inappropriate things. Maybe they're pining for attention or a compliment. And maybe there's an interest there. But like there's not like love or rapport. Or like you would still call it emotional.

Yeah. Yeah, sure. Maybe there's a dick pic or a nude or whatever. Like you would still call it emotional. Yeah. Yeah, sure. Maybe there's a dick pic or a nude or whatever. Sure. I would call that emotional cheating, but. You would call that emotional cheating? Yeah. So where do you draw the line with emotional cheating?

There has to be like real feelings or. Yeah, I'm talking about an emotional affair. Okay. Right. I'm not talking about like, oh, the dude sends or the girl sends a few flirty DMs, which is not okay. What do you call that? You know, playing with fire, right? Like that's the beginning.

So that's not cheating. That's the beginning stages of, it could go to the next step. I'm not giving permission for like people to cheat. Not what I'm saying, but no, I don't think that's okay in a relationship. Of course not. But I'm specifically but no I don't think that's okay in a relationship of course not but I'm specifically

talking about physically cheating as opposed to an emotional affair okay yeah you brought up like a third category that I don't know where it falls I guess I I just like being shady as shit I just think it's all cheating it's like a shadester I don't have like It's all cheating Of course Yeah It's none of it's okay And I guess there's a spectrum Of like How intense The cheating is You know

The Vanderpump stuff Or all this Right Which I only now know about Because of you Yeah You gotta get into that Oh that's what I should watch

Oh my god Yes That's what you need For the plane You should watch it I've never seen a single episode Of that show It doesn't matter.

It's so good. I started it at season one because it's like the premise is that everybody fucks in the kitchen. I started at season one. Oh, well, you can start at season 10. But you can start in a new season. You can. It's 10?

It's a new season? Yeah. Yeah. Because that's what I did. I would watch the literal first episode or two and then season 10. Got it. Just so you get to know everybody. These are their roots.

They all were working at a restaurant wanting to be actresses and it was like very messy and now then you see them where they are now and it's like oh boy i've seen on instagram like there's stills for like the mid-season trailer or whatever yeah it's juicy it was like a surround sound moment i know it was like you pressed a button you know there's a lot of people are going back and be like she he did this and this happened. That's so fucked up. I read a tagline. It's like, we had sex four times a year

before I cheated. The guy, the main guy, who was the cheater. I'm like, dude, that's fucked up. Oh, he's, it's a laundry list of reasons why he's a piece of shit. All right, well, I'm going to watch and then I can have an opinion

because I have none other than what Instagram is telling me. Um, but yeah, so that's our, our debate that we have a lot is where, and where does your cohost stand? She thinks physical is worse than emotional,

which I don't agree. Well, look, like I said, none of it's okay, but I, I do feel like someone having that feelings like even i love you would be worse than just fucking somebody would you ever have an open relationship

you know as i've gotten older i'm not in one right now so i'm like oh i wonder what that would be like but i know when i'm in a relationship i don't want to share or be shared you know how about how do you feel about it i feel feel like I understand the premise. Sure. And I understand why people do it. But you and Natalie are not. We are not. Yeah.

No, I know you're not, but I mean like you guys aren't. I think if you have enough communication and trust and you have, you're really good at communicating boundaries. I could see how it can work and how people are able to do it. But I think most people don't do it correctly. And most people get into it and aren't honest with themselves with why they're doing it. And it shouldn't be a reason to just like, fuck other

people. It should be something that the relationship itself, you two are doing together. And you're, you you know everything about it whether you know you fuck another person or he fucks another person or whatever it is you you you both are doing this together and i think a lot of people do it for themselves yeah and try to convince their partner it's something that they also want right and and i've seen you know marriages who are like yeah we can do open and it and then they divorce yeah yeah it's tricky it's a slippery slope slippery slope as they say yeah yeah no i'm curious like with the conversation of emotional versus physical cheating i feel like something it's like with physical i

feel like there's a clarity to it where it's i think people have a pretty common definition sure there's a few things where it's like maybe like a lingering hand on the lower back like there's that was some people would be like hey that's not cool but in general like it's pretty like cut and dry versus like emotional it feels like so much of it falls on like disclosure of like one one person like having all the information about whether or not it's cheating in terms like they know how they feel when this person texts them and they respond to them and it kind of seems like with open relationships there's a similar level of like not really without that like kind of like strict like these are the rules we know we're all doing the same there's a lot of like kind of like nuance

and like space for two people to maybe reach different conclusions well and i feel like the emotional intimacy part is what separates a relationship from just being like fuck buddies right so it's like no that's what makes what we have special so it's like if it's just sex yeah i'm kind of with you of like it feels like it's easier to kind of brush off like a physical drunken hookup again never saying it's like okay and it would still be really hard to get over but i don't know it's like you're if you're having an emotional affair with someone and like you're saying i love you and you're saying all these things it's like no you're just in two relationships at the same time could you get over someone cheating on you it's all circumstantial you know

possibly no i don't want to say i i mean yeah i mean we're speaking hypothetically and you don't you're not being cheated on you're not with someone right now so it's hard to like specifically answer yeah yeah some people would be like no way non-negotiable it happens i'm done you know yada yada yada and some people be like well i probably would be done but like i don't know what's the circumstance what's going on how do i feel you know you get older and you're like you have a life together whatever it is it things change a little bit. And you're like, well, what is it? What caused this? What caused it? How can we work on it?

Is it something to work on? Do you want to still be in the relationship? Right. There's a lot of variables. And so, you know, as you get older, if you do have a life with someone and it gets tricky. I remember, you know, being in a long-term relationship being like, oh, well, for your 50th,

maybe, you know, you can go sleep with sleep with someone right like you have these ideas because monogamy was something obviously invented when people only live to be like 35 years old so it's like we're pushing 42 and it's just like i mean we beat the system um so you know when you think of it that way like and some people are more sexual than others you know like i can be very content in a relationship and be fine and there's other than others you know like i can be very content in a relationship and be fine and there's other people that you know maybe feel differently it's it's yeah it's hard to say without being in it but it's a very interesting topic i find where are we on texting office hours they're here we're ready to go so are you ready to solve someone

else's problem oh god let's go how's it going going pretty good how are you ready to solve someone else's problem? Oh God. Let's go. How's it going? Going pretty good. How are you? Good. What's your name? My name is Sam and I'm 24 years old. How can we help Sam? Basically, I have a male best friend that refuses to talk to me because I slept with his friend's roommate. And now I don't know how to further our relationship if it's repairable and if I should pursue with a roommate okay do you want to pursue the roommate I thought I did but now I don't know because it's way more complex than I thought it was going to be why is it complex well me and this friend are in a friend group and not speaking to me puts that whole, you know, our group friendship on the line.

And I kind of just feel pushed into a corner about if I should pursue something that possibly could fail or put more energy into repairing an eight year friendship. Does the person you slept with want to pursue you? I used to think yes, but now I think no. Why? There just hasn't been a lot of banter after the fact. And this is like, this situation happened maybe a week ago. And we did have a conversation about how potentially we could move forward and I just didn't get the energy that he wanted to pursue it at all. It kind of seemed like he just didn't want to be with the drama. And have you accepted the reality that this friend of yours likes you more than a friend? Yeah, I have. Okay, because that's what's going on here.

Let's forget about the guy you just had sex with because whatever, he may want to pursue, you may pursue him on a couple of dates and you realize you hate him. But the point is that you did something that you had a right to do. You're a single woman and this friend of yours has an issue with it and is making you feel like you did something

wrong when you didn't do something wrong because they don't have the guts to just come forward and admit that they have feelings for you and do something about it and he's pretending to be your friend and when he's not actually your friend he is a guy who wants you to be his girlfriend now that you say that he didn't have the guts he did but this was like three years ago yeah and i was just getting out of a relationship and he put in a text message which i thought was pretty lame considering that we were close friends and i i told him that i just wanted to keep our keep everything platonic and that I just wasn't looking for anything more with him and this was like years ago and I feel like as a

woman like I'm all the responsibility has been given to me to like absolve the group friendship to absolve the hurt feelings with my friend who Who's in this group of friends? So the main core is, is four of us. It's me. Um, a girl. I'll let is like my true,

true best friend. And then the two guys and we all went to high school together. Is, is, is your girlfriend dating any of these people? Okay. And where does she stand on this? She's definitely on my side.

She's kind of like what you said, you know, that it wasn't fair for him to put those expectations on me without my knowledge. Like the expectations that I had that loyalty to him, even though there was never a relationship that went farther than friendship.

So she's pretty upset about it too. And she's definitely kind of, you know, she's definitely siding with me. How are you with confrontation? I think I've gotten better with it, with age. Okay. Being forced to. My only thing is I've wanted to be confrontational.

And I did reach out initially when my friend left in the middle of the night because he could hear us, I guess. I sent him a message the next day and I was just like, hey, if you you know, if you want to talk about this, we can. And his response really pissed me off. It was just I really honestly just don't want to talk about this anymore. And maybe when I get back from my trip, we can talk. And I just didn't like how it was kind of like, well, maybe if I feel like you deserve it, I'll talk to you. You did nothing wrong.

I don't know. No. And like, I don't honestly, I don't love how the guy you slept with is putting it all on you either like young men love to be like well i don't want you know because to me i would have him rather just say you know what i'm just not interested in pursuing a relationship with you but obviously i'm not going to get that from him because he wants to keep it open-ended in case he does want to sleep with me again, which isn't going to happen because I didn't like the response. Good for you.

Good for you, yeah. I think you should prioritize the girlfriend who you're friends with. And I think you too should consider evolving past this friend group. This friend group, its origin story is from high school. And it's great to have high school best friends that stand the test of time. I'm lucky enough to have two is from high school. And it's great to have high school best friends that stand the test of time.

I'm lucky enough to have two friends from high school I still keep in touch with, but like, whatever. You know, like, who cares? And you have this one friend, this girlfriend, and who knows what's going to happen with these guys. But I don't think you should beat around the bush with this guy. And I would say something like, it shouldn't be't be like hey if you want to talk or whatever it should say i really don't appreciate

how you've been treating me if there's something that you need to tell me or communicate with me like i'm here to listen but like i don't appreciate you making me feel like i did something wrong when i didn't do anything wrong we are friends and I am allowed to sleep with whoever I want and not made to feel guilty about it. Like that's what you should say to your friend because as you say, he's your friend as far as you're concerned. And your friend made you feel bad

for doing something that you did nothing wrong. And I think you should stand up for yourself and defend the fact that like you don't deserve someone to make you feel bad just because it was an inconvenience to like their emotions. Be direct with how you feel. Like don't be passive aggressive. Don't test him. You know, like you have every right to feel how you feel. And I think that's why you should just be direct. Just nip it in the bud. I did try to like tell the guy, you know, the roommate, I told him, I was like, hey, like, I really like getting to know you.

And I want to like, maybe, maybe we can just hang out one-on-one. And I never heard back from him. Oh no, we're done. And this was like a couple of days ago. It wouldn't shock me if this guy has pulled away because he's friends with your friend who's being a baby about this and he doesn't really know you, right? Like you guys know each other a little bit, you hooked up and he's just like, all right, I already had sex with this person. I don't need the drama. He's probably quite literally thinking that. And since

he doesn't have a lot invested in you, he's just like, eh, it's not worth it. And that's really shitty that your quote unquote friend is doing this. Like that's the whole thing. Like they are creating the drama for something that shouldn't be created. Like you're kind of being slut shamed and treated like you cheated on him. You know, you're being treated like as if you- Like he has dibs on you. Yeah. That's how he talks and that's how he reacts him you know you're being treated like as if like he has dibs on you yeah that's how he talks and that's how he reacts you know and so that's i think you should be angry at the

friend and i think you should reach out to him and without playing games and and being passive or testing him i think you should if i were you i'd be very direct about how fucked up you think it is of how he's treating you. And you would appreciate him. Stop talking about your sex life with other people. As far as your sex life goes, it's none of his business. You know, it doesn't matter if he heard you, you know, he has a roommate. Part of having a roommate is hearing them fuck sometimes. And he doesn't get to go around and tell everyone about it you know just because he has a little crush on you i feel shamed and i feel also i feel used to which is such a grimy feeling and just makes me upset with myself too because

why are you upset no don't do that yeah why are you upset yourself because i've definitely i've definitely learned these lessons before. You know what I mean? Not to like interfere with a friend group, even though we weren't, I wasn't friends with him or he wasn't technically in our group initially. I feel just gross, especially because there was expressed interest initially,

even after the fact that we had slept together and then this whole thing blew up in my face and it just, now I just feel gross i i hear you i just i don't know i don't feel like you i can't tell you how you should feel but i you know like and i and if it makes you feel better this other guy i don't think his intention was to use you. I just think he is being a 23, 24 year old guy who's like bros before hoes kind of energy. He also doesn't really know you that well. So he's just like,

he probably literally wants to stay out of the drama, the drama that your friend is creating. Can I say something woman to woman real quick? Don't be so hard on yourself. You made that choice because you wanted to do it. Feel good about it. That's something you wanted to do it. Feel good about it. Like that's something you wanted to do. So you did it.

Other people are making you. Well, no one can make you feel a certain way, right? They can project how they feel, but you don't have to take that on. That was your decision in the moment you wanted to do it. So stand by that. And that's fine. You don't have to pursue anything with that guy. He's really young.

Sounds like a bit of a pussy to be honest. And then you do you and feel good about your choice because you did something you wanted to do. A guy can do that and be like, yeah, I wanted to like fuck this girl and I didn't feel good about it, whatever. That was your choice. You wanted to do it.

Don't be so hard on yourself. That's what my friend, my friend that's a girl told me too. She's just like, it's fine. You did what you wanted in the moment. I just think you guys need to, you two need to graduate from these guys. Like they're just, you.

We kind of have. And I, it was kind of like, we kind of started to like regain momentum again with them. And now it's making me regret being around them again. I mean, like this guy has a crush on you. He doesn't want to be your friend. He wants you to be to be his girlfriend so like just that's the lesson you need to learn is stop trying to be friends with someone who wants to be your boyfriend and someone who feels entitled to it because i think a big part of this is not just that he's interested it's that he feels because

he's interested like your actions should mold should all like fall into that like whatever works for him. And it seems like you're someone who's like values harmony and values everybody getting along and like kind of just like going with the flow and making sure everyone's having a good time. And you're having an experience where like you're having a terrible time and nobody's valuing harmony or trying to like make sure you're having a good one. And it's like such a shitty, isolating place to feel. And I'm so sorry you're there. And it's also maybe a sign that like you should surround yourself with people who do notice how you're feeling and who make it more of a priority to make sure you feel okay about how stuff went down

yeah and it sounds like you're probably beating yourself up because it got messy and because all of this happened and i'm like this didn't happen because you hooked up with him like rachel was saying you hooked up with him because it was fun you want to do it in the moment this is happening because your friend is being a drama king quote-unquote friend yeah a real friend wouldn't this has nothing to do with you having sex any other person as invested in you and demanding and thinks that you like owe him something would probably like I don't think you'd be feeling the regrets that you're feeling right now or the anxiety that you have had like everyone woken up the next morning and been like great guys mimosas i would be totally

fine with you just not talking to him anymore but if you do reach out to him to you know stand up for yourself i it would be just for that and i don't think you should stand up to him to like save the friendship because i just don't think this guy is your friend it's very loosely when we say friendship you know what i mean it's a friend is the person you know friend like i want to have fun with you be there for you help you during good and bad times talk to you like about like your dating life you know that's a friend give you advice when you're struggling and hey this guy this is not this guy he doesn't want to hear about your dating life you know that's not a friend might even call it a situation

ship yeah it's just someone you like hang out with and like you know you're comfortable with and the group's comfortable with each other and the you know the group you know like fuck the group you and the and your girlfriend need to graduate from these guys i'm i'm guessing a lot of guys will want to hang out with you too um you're going to be fine and just stop hanging around people that make you feel bad about yourself for no reason. I'd be down for you standing up for yourself if it makes you feel empowered and good. You're like, I wanted to get that out. I felt good to tell this guy, hey, you didn't have the right to make me feel this way. I didn't deserve that.

But I don't think you should tell him because you're hoping to rekindle something and hoping to save the friendship because his feelings just aren't going to change he can pretend not to like you he can pretend to be okay with it but the guy likes you and instead of just being honest with himself and you he's turning into this judgy kind of dickish friend who's like slut shaming you

do we want to leave him on red write a quick fuck you message? What are we going to do? I was going to be like, boy, bye. Fuck you forever. Honestly, I can see him wallowing it out on his own. I don't think he really needs any help from me.

And I have all the peace in walking away from something that's not really good for me anymore. I mean, why don't you just block them? No, don't do that. Why not? No, because that's too much of a statement. You need to just be neutral. I don't care about the statement. It's like gamey kind of.

I don't think you should block them. I only think you should block people if it's to protect your mental health or stop you from pining over something. I don't really give a shit about what he thinks about you blocking him. I agree with you on that. I don't think this is shit about what he thinks about you blocking him. I agree with you on that. I don't think this is that though.

I think she's going to have a hard time moving, a harder time than I want to believe it, you know, from the friendship. Yeah. I did delete the roommate's number because I was just like, I just didn't want to, I just didn't even want to have that option to communicate with him.

And I was just really upset. And I was just, after I gave him like 24 hours to respond to me and he didn't and I was just really upset and I was just after I gave him like 24 hours to respond to me and he didn't I was yeah he's not great but the real villain in this story is this other friend it would be hard for me to block him I can't lie it would be I have no problem not speaking with him or not responding but something about that message like coming back as green and then I don't know like but i do think it would make her life more challenging right after because i know even though it's bullshit

and it's stupid and it should because he's going to make a huge fucking deal out of this we're not going to hang out with him anymore right but she might need to communicate if they are good friends and look for that to dissolve might take time whatever like maybe it is a conversation but i think just going straight to the block is not communicating and then you're just like sending a message that i'm fine with yeah i'm fine with communicating but i've just i'm sensing some reluctance that you don't want to do that i think this is a fireable offense i guess is what i'm saying and so i'm just wondering what is your actual plan to move on with the girlfriend and away

from these two other guys who aren't really your friend? This is a drama situation, and like, we choose often to stay in the drama. And you are frustrated. You have a right to be frustrated, and I just want to know what you're going to, you have total control over the situation. You really

do. And so what are you going to do about it? I guess my plan going forward was just to choose to not see them. Okay. Because I do have that choice. There's plenty of distance. I'm still living in our hometown. They're living in the city.

It's completely avoidable. Every time I've seen them, it's because they've invited me or vice versa. You know, there's always been choice in that. So, and me and my girlfriend, we, we always go do our own thing most of the time on the weekends.

Anyways. So do you, she is avoidable. Does she have your back to just also stop hanging out with them? Yeah. Cause I just think it's a shitty thing what they did to you and that's not them being a friend to you and sometimes we have to fire friends and like i'm sorry you had to go through this but like i think this is can be a you know just a reminder of you know sometimes like people just don't treat you the way you expect and like it's okay you can just move on from friendships this wasn't really like and that's the thing just don't mourn the loss of

this friendship all that much because all this was was a guy who pretended to be your friend because he had a crush on you all right well i'm sorry you're going through this but like it seems like we have a clear answer i think so yeah i think so yeah it'll it'll be fine and in the future if you have a guy you know tells you he likes you it's not going to change you know don't be friends with guys who want to date you it just only gets messy yeah i can see that especially in adulthood so yeah even worse yeah and the only and the great way to test that is to tell them about guys you're dating and having sex with and and if if they act anything other than normal and open to it and ask you more follow questions then then you know their true intentions all right well good

luck let us know if there's any update with this story hopefully not but i definitely will send the email if there is i'm sure you'll hear from them okay i hope not but yeah all right take care bye bye you too bye great advice rachel okay thank you well you think so yeah sure no i could have i mean listen i've got some experience uh thanks for staying with us yes thanks for coming and you were the first podcast you're the first time i came on your show is the first podcast i had ever done really whoa here we are

full circle here we are crushing the podcast game can you let our audience know of your amazing podcast and where people can listen to it it's called broad ideas you can listen to wherever you

listen to your podcasts and new episode drops every monday my best friend olivia and i and we talk all the things a little too transparent if you ask me as olivia did she take it did she take my advice yet what was it the the nudes oh i'm gonna ask her she should she needs to is it yeah i'm with you on that all right that was good advice uh where else uh follow rachel bilson at rachel bilson on instagram yeah i just have that's all I have Instagram alright

that's right the gram great to see you thank you girl this was fun nice to meet you thanks for listening guys don't forget to send

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Never are available New updates are available What else we got Pop Culture Roundup. We got a vault of interviews with the women from your season. We got some rom-com recaps. It's a ton of fun. More and more coming. Vanderpump

recaps coming soon to Vile Files Plus starting from season one. Next week we have Ariel? Ariel? We'll find out the proper pronunciation of her name that and so much more and the fantastic comedian ashley gavin will be breaking down uh the finale that the break the recap will be on thursday uh ariel ariel will be on i'm so sorry uh we'll find out until then well she will be on.

She'll be on. Sometime Tuesday. On Tuesday morning. Yeah. There we go. Tuesday morning. And the name, we will find out. We'll find out.

Great. Bye.