The Viall Files - E581 Going Deeper with Chloe Veitch - Perfect Match Drama, Coronation, and Love is Blind Live

Episode Date: May 11, 2023

Welcome back to The Viall Files: Going Deeper Edition! At the beginning of the episode, we are joined by our Pop Culture Correspondent Natalie Joy to discuss Tom Sandoval’s recent lyric changes, Robert De Niro’s seventh child, and Taylor Swift dating rumors. Then, we are joined by Netflix superstar Chloe Veitch to talk about what actually went down between Georgia and Francesca on Perfect Match, the stresses of hosting the Love is Blind livestream, and her current relationship. Finally, we have a Sweating the Wedding caller who is debating calling off her wedding and breaking up with her fiancé. “Sometimes, silence speaks volumes. She just needs to shut up.”  Start your 7 Day Free Trial of Viall Files + here: https://viallfiles.supportingcast.fm/  Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to [e-mail] to be a part of our Monday episodes. Join us for our new LIVE show on Thursdays at 9PM ET/6PM PT on Amp, available in the Apple app store. Android User? Listen here: https://www.onamp.com/  To Order Nick’s Book Go To: http://www.viallfiles.com  If you would like to get some texting advice on Office Hours send an email to [e-mail] with “Texting Office Hours” in the subject line! To advertise on the show, contact [e-mail] or visit https://www.advertisecast.com/TheViallFiles  THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: Drizly - Drizly is the #1 app for alcohol delivery. Download the Drizly app or go to https://www.Drizly.com Sunday for Dogs - We worked out a special deal for our dog-loving listeners. Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to https://www.SundaysForDogs.com/VIALL or use code VIALL at checkout. Episode Socials: @viallfiles @nickviall @chloeveitchofficial @nnataliejjoy @alison.vandam @liffordthebigreddog @dereklanerussell

what's going on everybody welcome back to another exciting episode of the vile files going deeper edition i'm nick your host joined by the household of Allie, Amanda, and Derek. And as always, well, not always, but, you know, recently, our pop culture correspondent, Natalie Joy. We have an amazing episode for you, Chloe Veitch, today. As Allie would say, netflix reality tv royalty here to catch up with us talk about her time on the perfect match uh she clears the ear by some of with some of the drama between francesca and georgia a little bartiz tea when we get into a really really fun conversation with Chloe I liked her when she actually admitted to not

liking people you know not in a way that was like rude or dragging them but like when she actually was like oh this is someone who I don't really fuck with that made me like her so much more because I was like you're not just being diplomatic like you're being honest here all right lots to get into lots to cover we cover so much with Chloe but before we do there's more

there's more meat on the bone, so to speak. Always. Have you guys been following all of the Taylor Swift, Matt Healy speculation dating? I love every part of it. Why do you love it? Well, Matt Healy is the lead singer of the 1975. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

But he kind of looks like he is just going through it all the time. He looks like a TA at film school. Yeah. Like a grad student. He's like there to like grade. And he drinks like 12 cups of coffee a day and only smokes cigarettes. Yeah, yeah.

He doesn't eat food, just drinks coffee and cigarettes. Okay, literally drag Matt Healy under a school bus. No, I mean, also like he's amazed. He's an artist. I have seen some of his,

I ended up on 1975 Matt Heiktok for you page for a while you know it's like all that shows up um no it actually wasn't recently but it was just like everything of him showed up on my and he is very uh elvis presley like do you remember how elvis presley would kiss women yes that's what matt. Ew. Yeah, he makes out at shows. He just randomly kisses people in the crowd? He like, yes. I heard he stopped kissing people back in like January and there was kind of speculation.

It was out of respect for Taylor. January? I don't think it was because he was dating, she was dating Joe still. He was rumored to be dating an influencer. I don't want to put any like bad vibes out for Taylor but when she broke up with Joe

the speculation was that Joe fucked up because she's out to dinner with all her friends and then they unfollowed Joe afterwards but if she is already in a relationship with Matt isn't there some overlap? Maybe. What do you mean? They could just be like hanging out.

Maybe. They also have known each other for the past decade, so it makes sense, especially if Joe did fuck up, for her to be like, peace out, bye. I'm in my hot girl era. And a lot of people are saying

her and Joe broke up a while ago, and it just broke in end of April. So I heard somewhere that it was, like, January, which is crazy. And I've looked for it on the internet and, like, haven't found much else.

But it's definitely, like, I think also with a six-year relationship, like, you gotta figure when it's an amicable breakup, like, you fell out of love and both people are like,

I respect you. Did you see that they both, so, a thing that, like, Matt Healy does on stage a lot is, Other than making out? Other than making out, Other than making out.

Yes, other than making out. Is he like looks into the camera. He mouths, I love you. This song is for you. Or whatever. There's like another saying. He does it at a show. And Taylor Swift just did that at her Nashville show.

And he was there in the audience. He went to all three shows. Okay. That's not nothing. That's something. But I don't think she's saying I love you. I think she's just like what he, she's doing what he does. There's clearly something going on then. Yeah.

I feel like I'm a child of divorce. Why? They're touching each other's privates. I miss Joe. You miss Joe? What did you like about Joe? Because he's a Brit. He's British. He was quiet and calming. He used to go to our shows. Dad used to go to our shows. Now I have a new dad. Why do you miss him?

He's so much better than this dude. I don't know anything about him. I guess he was a figure of stability. He was pretty boring. I forgot he existed personally. I'm not a big Swifty though, so I'm sure the people who were plugged in knew him all along. He hung out in the background, for sure. He was what she needed. Well, you know

who else hangs out in the background? Extras. And Tom Sandoval has the most extras. He's actively on tour with his band. And we actually, in addition to the national news story about him replacing so cleverly and brilliantly a lyric to Stacey's mom with, can't you see Raquel is not for me. In addition to that whole news story. There's that whole story because I feel like he sucks for that yeah how do we well yeah how do we feel about it literally in a mental facility he was yelling at us and by us I mean like you know anyone who watches the show Bravo Nation Vanderpump Nation

whatever you want to call it the wi-fi fam you know TMZ whoever was reporting he's just like Raquel is in a mental health institute and you know and he it sounded like he was being protective of raquel rachel and i don't know i don't know what communication they have going on between the two of them but that's kind of a fuck you to raquel is it not to like go on stage and be like raquel's not the girl for me while she's currently working on her mental health. That sounds dismissive. She also can't have a phone, right? That's what he said in that TMZ interview.

He's like, she's there without a phone, no communication. And so she has like no idea that you did this and she's going to get out of this all like mentally healthy and be like, what the fuck? Yeah. Be like, you're not for me, Raquel.

It's like, also, how dare he accuse anyone of trying to like monetize or gain followers or attention off this situation? No, because he thinks it's his story to monetize. Literally. It's not about not monetizing. It's just about he wants to be the only one. He's like, I single-handedly fucked up

my life and several other people's and so I should be the one who gets all the attention. It was my dick doing the work and I deserve all the credit. He also replaces the words of Stacy's mom with schwartz's mom i get but it's like so yeah i get his stick schwartz can't you see that raquel is not for me yeah i don't know it's just so but either way it's just a bit i don't know if you're i don't know how raquel it feels about tyler i mean honestly at this point is it really shocking that don't say annabelle did that no but he's also complaining about he wants the story to die we've talked about this before

he doesn't want it to die no no this is a guy who when like some tmz reporter or whoever or pop paparazzi called him a celebrity he i've he smiled from ear to ear, oh, it just made his day. Dear Lord. We also have an inside scoop because a member of the ViFi fam emailed us and said, as a fellow Scandaval follower, I knew I needed to share a story with you guys. My friend and I bought tickets to see Tom in NYC

before the Scandaval story broke. After the story broke, we decided to go, scope out the scene, and maybe heckle a little. We showed up in Team Ariana and Don't trust a Bambi eyed bitch shirts. And when at the concert, the crowd gave him a ton of like mixed signals, mixed welcome. Shockingly, there were people there having a blast.

That's not shocking. Yeah. Yeah. But it's just like, who are these people? But also they don't put on a good show so i mean i i don't like i do listen as much as we're not team tom sandoval fans i don't think people should show up just to heckle someone no i mean that's a bit it's it's a controversial topic so you wanted to go to shorts and sandys just i do want to go no i want to go and observe i don't

want to go in i don't want to go in and. I don't want to go in. Observe. I don't want to go in and be like, ah, you suck, you know? Well, so this is what the heckling looked like. Throughout the duration of our time there, my friend began to throw up the middle finger here and there to let Tom know how we felt. And well, she was successful. After about five songs,

two Gramercy Theatre event workers came up to my friend and asked her to speak with them in the hallway outside. Like a school teacher. Yeah, literally. Like she's going to the principal's office. Once outside, the event worker told her, I've been asked to bring you out here because of your disruptive behavior that's distracting the performers and disrupting the show. Given Tom's current situation, they want you out.

When she asked who they were, the man told her it was tom and his tour manager who saw her in the audience my friend then asked what event policy she'd violated the man consistently repeated himself and could not provide her with the statement of the rules she broke and my other friend introduced it and said did tom sandoval himself single her out where are these orders coming from the man, Tom and his tour manager want her out. Well, thank you for the very entertaining note. Going forward, you don't need to heckle anyone. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You could support Ariana without, I don't know. Maybe picket outside the show. You know, if you really must. But yes, Tom did single you out for sure. It was 100% was 100 was tom pov you're in a cover band you're 40 you've just ruined a long meaningful relationship with someone who thought he was going to spend the rest of your life with you and you're at like a half empty

theater and people keep flipping you off with shirts that say your ex's name on them you're like i want them out like it's a comeback tour all right it's pretty cry baby he's peaking yeah he's speaking well you know who's been peaking for a while now robert de niro he's not unstoppable are honestly amazing i'm doing my best i have not slept i have only thought how do we bring up robert de niro well his dad he's a dad now of 79 years that is nuts i i don't he will be 90 years old when his child makes it 10 if okay fingers crossed jesus i don't know 90 is not guaranteed but this poor child child, isn't it a boy? I believe so. I think it's his seventh kid.

Everyone needs a father, but like especially- Hot take here. I just, listen, what are you going to ask the kid in 11 years, would you rather just not exist? I'm assuming he's going to get some sort of like hefty inheritance. Maybe he could be a pretty solid dad for the next 10 years. And maybe Robert De Niro has the foresight with the media presence that he has, not to be like morbid,

but let's say I was lucky enough to be a father. And let's say I came down with a terminal illness and I, sorry, you know, but like, and I had a young child, I would like make videotapes and like, here's what you're gonna learn when you're 15 or 16 and tell them stories and shit like that you know wouldn't what honey don't do that i'm just saying why don't don't

get emotional oh my god no some moms do that like they'll leave like you're crying but i think robert could do that he's like hey fuck i'm old i'm not gonna be here for so long and he could teach his kid life lessons plus he's just like he got zillions of dollars I don't know like I don't think it's that irresponsible is that not so fucked that we can't have kids at 79 yeah right oh you mean women yeah no Nick you will be I got big plans you'll be 110 so Nick I feel like you're not good at math you will live so long

out of spite for everyone like I feel like you will be like there will be like 12 years where every year they're like I'm gonna be taking

a shirt with selfies at 74 100% no I've said this like you're gonna end up at some beautiful like retirement place and it's gonna be Nick

and a bunch of other like 95 year old women and he's gonna be like gladys don't let him put his dick in you he doesn't respect you i'm gonna get kicked out because people like you don't belong here you're like just because you're 80 doesn't mean you won't get chlamydia okay actions have consequences i think some part of the thing that's so interesting about this family structure is that like he has it is that his wife a daughter who's 51 what he's a daughter who's 51 that's fucking bonkers i say pop off bobby how old is his is it his wife or girlfriend or is his wife younger than his daughter you have a one night stand with robert de niro how is his wife

well yeah does his daughter just become the mother to the new son if she's 51 okay the rumored mother oh my god he has a wife he is married okay tiffany chen how old is miss tiffany chen yes how old is this let's not be judgmental no no i'm just out of tiffany's uh chen's age has not been shared publicly at the time of this writing okay interesting because why could i choose that? What do you mean? Why can't I just not have my age out there? I don't know. I'm not Bobby De Niro. Bobby. That's what his friends call him.

His friend? I mean, you know, in my mind. There's a whole article. It's like, meet Robert De Niro's seven children and their mothers. Like, woof. Yeah, I'm really trying to find- I'm guessing his baby mama or wife is considerably younger than his oldest daughter it's an extreme situation but i don't know if you're the kid i just feel

like the kid's not gonna be like i'd rather not be born no i'm sure he's gonna be happy that he's his dad is robert didn't but like it's so sad and that there's a lot of a lot of kids who don't have parents who have you know well this tiffany chen is 64 how is this possible yeah it's that because that's the story damn tiffany i know i we're over here saying why can't we have kids when we're settled oh no but we can huh what tiffany chen is a professional martial arts and Tai Chi instructor. Is she the mom? That's rumored. They've been linked together since 2021.

They saw a baby bump when they were out to dinner. She's 64? I think that was maybe a different Tiffany Chen. I think there's a lot of wonderful people out there named Tiffany Chen. And Robert De Niro only dates Tiffany Chens? Well, there could be a different Tiffany Chen. You think you, on the internet. There might be multiple Tiffany Chens in Hollywood.

Robert De Niro only dates Tiffany Chens. He has a type. What? Tiffany. I have questions. Maybe to round it out, speaking of dating speculation, Kim Kardashian posted a photo of Tristan Thompson

father to her niece and nephew. I feel like this is not news so i guess what do you make of your sister trying to have like civil relations with like your baby daddy but the kardashians i know i know very little about the kardashians but one of the episodes i watched while natalie was watching in the background was basically tristan and chloe talking about how like no like once you're in the family you're just in the family as they've demonstrated with all these other guys it's just like they might be he's the father of her of her children and they keep it tight you know and it makes a lot of sense for being that family.

It's hard to trust people. You don't want to let a lot of people in. So regardless of what's going on relationship-wise, these people like have no problem supporting one another. So like any other rumors about them dating, I think are ridiculous and silly. Like they've demonstrated that this is a tight-knit group and I don't think it means Chloeloe and tristan are dating again it just means that like he is the father of her children and just like with scott like they're

still friends with scott even though courtney is you know moved on with travis so that's it right i don't know i mean i feel like they know what they're doing social media wise and it's like support my baby daddy if we're not together like could support him privately but like i guess she's sitting courtside at his game and then posts him at the end i don't know i guess you think about it either as you're the guy who cheated on your sister the father of your nieces and nephews yeah but chloe seems to be fine with it like they're she's hanging out with Tristan all the time. But isn't that the whole thing of people kind of speculating and getting in Chloe's business

and trying to be protective of her and like prevent her from making those choices. And I also- Her fans? Yeah. And then potentially also people in her life. Like I feel like, and granted, I don't think it's as appropriate or like helpful or productive when fans do it, but it would kind of make sense if there was kind of more of a middle ground of like yes we respect you yes we want you to have a successful co-parenting relationship but I'm

not going to go out of my way to post congratulations to you on my Instagram right I think that's just them though yeah I think they'll always like hype each other up yeah yeah everybody well we have an amazing episode with Chloe before we get into we get into a very hot passionate topic with chloe we talk a little bit about chivalry and uh you know because she's a brit and i just wasn't curious i was curious about how does chivalry apply in the cross the pond yeah and i said something that i did not think would be controversial or questioned about pumping gas for your significant other in a heterosexual relationship. Natalie, your thoughts?

I think it's absolutely nuts if you are driving your car or not driving, but it's your car and you're with your significant other and they do not get out of the car to pump your gas. They stay as a woman dating. Yes. As a woman. They stay in the car scrolling tick tock while you get out of the car. Winds blowing and your lip gloss. You got it's raining.

It's cold. You're like, no, that's insane to me. And then they're just sitting in the front seat, like not a care in the world. As soon as we pull up to the gas station. Same response yesterday. Chloe, you'll find out it's in the app. We'll get a care in the world as soon as we pull up to the gas station same response yesterday chloe and you'll find out it's in the up what you're we'll get to it in the episode so some redundancy here you guys look shocked yeah i've never heard of that before is it like is that southern like did you do that and like for your girlfriends i've always i've always done that i

mean i don't remember the first time nally and I pulled up in a car while she was driving, but it wasn't even a conversation. I just got out. I do think kind of the point you raise about the logistics of handing someone a card, just like that would be the thing in my brain where like, obviously it would be like a very nice thing to do. It would be weird, I guess. But like what I'm saying is the guy, I just knew.

And Nally, we were on the same page without having a conversation it seems like y'all I'm trying to get someone to buy me dinner like I'm not trying to push for gas you don't have a you're not in a relationship right now but I just even when I was couldn't get to buy dinner immediate

like if he's not getting out to pump your gas just just tell him to get out and leave him at the gas station. It's so rare that I get gas with another person in the car though. Oh, I now schedule my gas timings with Nick. I'm now like, baby, let's take my car.

I'll drive. And then I'm like, oh fuck, I need gas. Nick's like, ma'am. I don't think this has been a situation that's ever come up with my boyfriend. I don't think he's been a situation that's ever come up with my boyfriend I don't think he's ever been

in my car so I will research yeah because he's from Missouri like if it's like a midwestern thing I want you to get in your car and you just sit there at the gas station you just sit in your seat and you pull up and do nothing and just wait

it's going to be really awkward for like a moment. And then he's like, what are you doing? You'll be like, oh, you want me to do it? Well, I'm not pumping my gas. I'm going to record this. Please do. Can I go in the backseat? Found footage.

I just find it wild out there that when it comes to chivalry, you know. Like I get how opening the car door can be a little bit inconvenient. You're in a rush or you got your hands full or whatever. Nick does it sometimes. And when he does it, I'm like, oh. If he did it every time, I'd be like, fucking door. Go. But pumping gas is such a different thing for me.

I guess it's probably also because an ex of mine for like three years bottom of the he's literally what's on the bottom of my shoe but he would sit on his phone and would not get out and he'd be like no like would straight be like i'm not getting out and i'd be like all right and i'd do it myself and then i'd see all these like men like coming in and like they would look at me and look at him in the car and be like, just keep going. Like it's, I feel like it's a, it's a known thing.

Yeah. I'm going to start looking for this. I'm curious for the people listening to this episode. And again, we get into it later in the episode as well. Like, are you guys just as shocked as Allie and Amanda and Chloe? Yeah.

I do pump my grandma's gas cause she has arthritis. Well, yeah. And we're not saying, we are not saying women can't pump their own gas but when you are in the car with someone you're dating who is a man and and he sits in his car and listens to sports talk radio or on twitter on his phone while you get out of the car and pump your gas like i just strongly feel like this is not a guy who's willing to like

ever really step up or go out of his way for you like i just think any like this is not a guy who's willing to like ever really step up or go out of his way for you like i just think any guy who's not willing to pump your gas like i would not expect a overly romantic guy who you can consistently expect to prioritize you and do the little things yeah don't expect jack shit for valentine. Like, he's going to CVS on the way home to get some old wilted roses. It's such a litmus test for a guy's willingness to... Like, acts of service. Yeah, to, like... I remember when I was moving, my dad was in my car, and I was pissed, and we were in,

like, Hollywood traffic, and I was so low on gas, and I pulled up, and I literally was grabbing my wallet and, like, pushing the door open to go, and my dad was like, I'll do it. And I was fully shocked, but I was like, what is is this but he's the only person that's ever done that the parents when you're if you're if you're raising a young man and or daughter yeah this should be life lessons 101 like to your daughters i don't care my daughter will never pump her gas if she is dating a man. You're going to have a gay daughter. Her car is always going to be under gas. She's like, but dad, I'm gay. I'm like, oh, well, I guess you're pumping.

Find a man. Just for the gas. Just for the gas. Just find a man to get gas with you. That's it. That's all you have to do. Find one at the gas station. Just be like, my dad won't let me touch it.

When it comes to chivalry, that is, you know, in a heterosexual relationship, that's literally bare minimum. So let us know in the comments both with this, like where you fall in the gas situation and if there's like

an equivalent thing for you, like an act of chivalry that you're like, this is an absolute must. You know, you'll open your door, but I won't, as the great meatloaf once said,

but I won't do that. Another one for me is the sidewalk rule. Like if Nick doesn't push me to the inside and walk on the road, I'm always like, I could get hit by a car and you don't care. I will say that I appreciate, I've learned that from Natalie. I can't say that I've always,

I haven't always done that. Natalie has taught me a few things that I can't say that I've always, I haven't always done that. Natalie has taught me a few things that I will say now that I do it. I'm embarrassed that I haven't in the past. But the gas is something I've, I have no, since my very first girlfriend, it was just like,

I am not, and maybe it's because I grew up in Wisconsin. It was often cold and rainy and shitty weather, but it was just like, I'm not sitting in my car while you pump gas. Okay, well, Derek, do you pump gas for your lovely girlfriend? I happen to actually come into

a lot of situations where we've filled up gas. What I have done, though, is her tires were low on pressure, so I went in to tell the guy to turn on the tire pressure machine. But did you do the tires? Yeah, I helped her with it like we're like collaborators you know okay i don't i do agree i think it is a little awkward

just to sit in the car while they're doing something like you should get like if i'm not yeah if i'm not if i'm not doing it i'm i'm making sure that like you know you got to get outside you know at minimum that's like a bare minimum step outside step outside you heard it here first folks step out yeah i don't know it just seems like such a weird thing to just sit that sit out and let them do if you're out there and you're listening to this episode and you are surprised or disagree with my take and you are in a relationship with a man, I want to hear from the women out there who are in a relationship. They've been in a car with their significant other and they get out and pump the gas, but they can give me an example of many other stories of how selfless and thoughtful and acts of service see their man is in a relationship. I don't think

any of you exist, but maybe I'm wrong. Am I are i making sense yeah it's a bold claim i'm curious oh yeah my guy i put my own gas but he does x y and z i just don't think that exists i think it's a litmus test for the type of guy you might be dating if you if you were example yeah last night nick uh cooked us dinner like he typically does and he also so he gets out and pumps my gas he walks the sidewalk cooks us dinner and then Jeff puked and Nick immediately goes to clean it up

and I'm just like that stinks oh I love being a woman I love being a woman I was like oh my god it's so bad no I can't I can't I can't I can't even look at it And Nick's like Right

And he's just picking it up And I'm like What a man Wow I love taking care Of the people I love Anyway We have an incredible episode

With Chloe Before we get to Chloe I guess a couple Housekeeping notes Don't forget We have another episode Of Better Date Than Never Live tonight

At 9pm Easter We're talking blow jobs best practices tips and tricks how to give how to receive do you need me to come on that episode and kind of whatever you want baby um no that's okay we're just here to facilitate i think fuck club would lose it i think i'm like all right if you just grab it here no i think you would unleash like i think they're already a very rowdy bunch. I think you would push it over the edge. It's a lot of fun.

Yeah, people are making friends popping off the chat. If you haven't checked us out live, be sure to do. You're really missing out. For all those people who can't make it live, I know there's people in Canada

or have Androids or just across the world who listen to this show. It's a really fun show that we have, Better Day Than Never. And fear not, it is available to all the people who sign up this show if it's a really fun uh show that we have better date than never and fear not it is available to all the people who sign up for vile files plus in addition to that we have update specials two additional updates that we drop every month behind vile

files plus we also don't forget we have in this episode a really juicy, emotional, empowering Don't Sweat the Wedding, aka texting office hours. Our caller who calls in, whatever you want to call it, you're going to want to listen to that one. It is a doozy. And if you like those types of calls, assuming everyone who listens to Going Deeper

listens to Ask Nick, but if you like those calls, don't forget that every Monday, Ask Nick is available. And it's just a bunch of people calling in sharing their relationship stories problems and struggles and uh we all just collaborate with some advice people find it helpful inspirational and fun be sure to check that out also don't forget to give us a five-star review if you're listening on apple itunes or spotify all right let's get to Chloe.

Drizzly, the most convenient way to buy beer, wine, and spirits with delivery to your doorstep in under 60 minutes. That's right, people. Drizzly is making dreams come true from all the people out there who just want to relax, kick back, and enjoy their most favorite beverage, even if they forgot to pick it up on their way home from work. That's right. No longer will you get home from a long day of work, and your partner, wife, spouse, whoever you are, and they say, did you remember to get the wine?

And then you're like, ah. And then you have to go back and put your shoes back on and go to the grocery store. You don't have to do that anymore. No, you just go to your favorite Drizzly app. That's right, the number one app for alcohol delivery. You just go there, and you pick out your favorite bottle, your favorite beer, your favorite spirit. Doesn't matter what it is. And the best part is they have such a great variety. It feels limitless. So many wonderful brands that you've never heard of, things that you haven't tried in a long time. It's a lot of fun. It really is. I am a huge fan of hard kombucha, which is kind of like a specialty

product. And so I never am exactly sure like which shops are going to have some of the more like niche brands that are my favorite. And it is so convenient typing in exactly what I want in the app and having it go through every liquor store in my area to find the exact ones that have the product I'm looking for. And then I don't even have to get in the car like it just arrives for me. It is truly the best way to do it. And you can price match because why pay more than you have to? So stop making excuses and make sure you download Drizzly. It's the number one app for alcohol delivery. Download the Drizzly app or go to drizzly.com.

That is D-R-I-Z-L-Y.com. Drizzly.com. Hey, doggy lovers out there. Listen, what we put in our body matters. It also matters what you put in your dog's body. So all the people out there who love their dogs, and I know I love mine, you want to make sure they're eating like kings, like queens, like the champions that they are.

Make sure that you're putting quality ingredients in their bodies. And sundaes is some of the highest quality dog food that you can find. Sundaes contains 90% meat, 10% vegetables, and 0% synthetic nutrients. Besides USDA beef and all-natural chicken, you'll find digestive aids like pumpkin and ginger, plus disease-fighting antioxidants. Dog parents report noticeable health improvements in their pup, including softer fur, fresher breath, better you-know-what, better poo.

And more energy. More energy. That's right. And the best part is it's affordable. Sundae costs 40% less than other healthy dog food brands because Sundae doesn't waste money shipping frozen packages. Instead, they spend on what matters, sourcing the best all-natural ingredients for your pup.

I feel like with so much of dog food, it's like, you know, it will be great, fresh, all natural, but then it's in the fridge. And I know for you, Allie, like sometimes we have unexpected late nights at the office and it's so nice to know that we can keep high quality food right on hand that is super easy to store and also reduces the cost of shipping. So it's just a win-win all around. You know, Jeff's favorite thing in the world are Sundays. And I'm not talking about the day. I'm talking about a win-win all around. Jeff's favorite thing in the world are Sundays. And I'm not talking about the day. I'm talking about the food. That's right. Good news for you. We worked out a special deal for our dog-loving listeners. That's right. Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Just go to sundaysfordogs.com slash V-I-A-L-L and use code V I A L L at checkout.

That's S U N D A Y S F O R D O G S dot com forward slash V I A L L. Upgrade your pup to Sundays and feel good about the food you feed your dog. Chloe. Hi. Welcome. Thank you. How's your heart? How's my heart? Yeah, we start every interview off that way. We want to, you you. How's your heart? How's my heart? Yeah we start every interview off that way. We want it you know it's just like a it's like a heavy warm-up. It's never really explained ourselves. I don't know why I started that. It's like the opposite of small park. It's like direct but I feel like us Brits are very like straight to the point so I love that. Yeah. Do you have anything you want to open up about to just kick things off? Anything

what have you been what's been weighing you down what's been weighing me down recently mentally or just i would say my sobriety okay yeah i'm gonna go deep yeah tell us more about that been sober for a couple of years and i feel like recently it's just been a little bit more difficult than what it normally is okay uh and when you say sobriety is that no alcohol no No nothing, like complete abstinence. Okay. Because I know some people who are sober from alcohol, but they have discovered marijuana, and that works for them. Yeah.

But I don't know how that all works. I mean, I work a program, so it's the 12 steps. So it's like, yeah, complete abstinence from everything. But recently it's been a challenge. Yeah. What has triggered that challenge? I think being over here, being away from the people that I would normally talk to about recovery, my sponsor and my meetings I normally go to and plus going to Vegas.

So just kind of the temptation of it all. Yeah, I'm used to being like a homebody. And since being in America, I'm very around alcohol much more than what I normally would be. So, yeah. And as someone who is sober and part of the 12 steps, how do you deal with the sensation of feeling triggered? Do you reach out to a sponsor? Do you normally sit in the pain a little bit until i can't bear it all right and then i'm like i'm gonna call my sponsor now all right but other

than that you're doing okay other than that i'm fine yeah okay but you wasn't expecting that no yeah i mean we we keep it open-ended we i try to ask that question without expectation good i try and be as transparent as i can be that's great so you recently got off a perfect match that was fun was it not fucking wild you you i saw something recently that uh you did an interview and you said that uh your time on the netflix shows ally referred to you as netflix royalty oh thank you that's true yeah i feel like you're one of an elite group of people that has been on three different shows a triple crown yeah absolutely i don't know why you're fascinating to watch you're so bubbly to be honest when i first like saw you on my screen it was on

the circle and i hadn't seen you before that and i was like who is this ray of sunshine oh god i mean i watched myself back on the circle and i just cringed the whole time i didn't realize i say oh my god as much as how like i watched it back i say i say like a lot i got called out for that yeah on tv yeah you learn about some of your bad habits yeah i hate them yeah what are you gonna do uh but you were quoted as saying that going on these shows helped your depression or mental health. Is that accurate? And I thought that was interesting. Yeah.

Because usually they're the opposite. I think that was my motivation to get the help that I needed at the time. What do you mean by that? I went on to talk to Handel. I was 19 years old. And then I came off to it. You were what years old 19 19 okay i thought i thought that's what you said but i wanted to make sure yeah say it real fast 19 not nine not nine you kind of swallowed the nine 19 love that tuesday tuesday tuesday tuesday tuesday tuesday kind of chew it Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday.

Kind of chew it. So anyway, back to depression. Anyways, so we're sad. So yeah, went on to a handle, came off of that, obviously lockdown. And that was the peak of my drinking. So I was drinking, I was having like lockdown parties, whatever. And just spiraled into this like depression. And then I got asked- After your first stint on Too Hot to Handle?

Okay. That makes sense. Yeah. And then went into- And was that just the coming off the high of the filming? I don't know what it was. Okay. I don't know what it was.

I think it was just not being around people as much as what I normally would be. Having this Netflix show hit number one for like months all around the world what's a lot of it's a lot of overstimulation in a very short period of time and the come down can be a challenge well i mean i wasn't able to escape it because it was like on my phone in my house and i couldn't leave it wasn't like i was going to events and podcasts in person it was all in my home so yeah i don't know it just and then netflix put me on another show and that helped yeah it was the motivation to kind of get help with my drinking could you settle something for us because we had georgia and we had francesca on this show and i honestly wasn't

expecting it because i thought we'd just get a little tea here about their relationships but it this show became a platform for them to uh hash out what appeared to be some sort of rivalry between yeah i watched and i think i watched francesca's episode but i watched georgia's what did you think everything she said is legit georgia everything she said yeah i. Georgia? Everything she said, yeah. I was listening to it in the car. What specifically? Remind the audience if you could.

Me and Georgia were really close in the house. That's faded since coming off the show, but I think that's because we've both got relationships and whatever. Busy being stars. No, yeah. You just fall apart. But the specifics would be Francesca and Dom would go and film separate things. I feel like at the time it was because Francesca wanted to kind of open that door up again with Dom.

That's just my take. But I mean, no one actually knows what was going through her head. Like we can't read her mind but at the moment in time when i was in that villa with georgia that was what was apparent i didn't even understand why those two were even going at each other who georgia and francesca no yeah they were fine in the villa and then it just all of a sudden became like a thing yeah do you have any guesses as to why no i really don't they were fine in the villa like i remember a time or something i remember when dom used to get a little bit

annoyed because they were actual friends in the villa yeah like georgia would go up to francesca and be like you're right babe and dom's like why are they friends it's weird the thing settled down with with dom and ge Georgia? Because it seemed like that was also the drama between those two and then the timelines of their breakup. She got a lot of heat for that. Who, Georgia? I know. She didn't deserve all that heat.

I don't know. I was just asking the question. What do you mean? On the show or off the show? Well, off the show, they left as the perfect match. Francesca had a story, and then Georgia had her story. Dom kind of played coy a little bit. To me, listen, these relationships that start on these types of shows,

I mean, they're not exactly cemented in a rock-solid foundation. Yeah, I mean... And my experience on these types of shows, that most people, uh, you know, no one wants to look bad. There's that.

Uh, no one wants to feel or look embarrassed. There's that. But if they're smart enough to humble themselves, I suppose, and have themselves look, be heartbroken, despite any fears of embarrassment,

they can really shine. And I, it, to me, it seemed like I hadn't met dom i don't know anything about dom but it seemed at the time like dom was smart enough to lean into that relationship with georgia not working out and kind of quietly play the sad guy while georgia took heat from the fan base as to kind of her timeline and her actions with harry and things like that and it seemed like dom quietly sat back and let her take

the heat that that was just my read of the situation but you you know them way better than i do and you know the situation i'm just like wondering i do what your thoughts are on that i mean listen everyone's always going to have a different side of the story when it comes to relationships like i'm going to have a different story to one of my exes that my ex is going to have a different story to me of our breakup you know there's always going to be different sides and when there's social media involved and there's tiktok sounds and like certain podcasts or i don't know all it takes is one heat of the moment comment to then spiral it into a completely different narrative

so all i want to say is that i don't think any of them, Francesca, Dom and Georgia had any ill intent towards any of the other people that were involved in the relationship. But I don't know. I feel like there's something you're not telling us, Chloe. I just don't want to, it's fucking been and gone. Do you know what I mean? I don't want to sit here and be like,

oh, Dom milked it or george is lying or but francesca's the villain george is not lying about anything no like i listened to it and every single thing that she said on this podcast was 100 accurate from me seeing it or hearing it with my own eyes interesting but i can't be in every room at the same time you know it's true so i don't know well we appreciate what you are able to share we were wondering we were you know you've been on too hot to handle then so perfect match is a mash-up right it's like the netflix celebrity version of all their shows yeah who are the cool kids and what i mean by that is like, you got too hot to handle, which is like the premise is, well, everyone's just a bunch of horny hotties. Everyone's horny.

Conventionally handsome, as they might say. And then you have the love is blind cast, which is like, you know what? Don't look behind curtain number two. You might not love them after you see them. Yep. When people come in, was there a bit of a seniority?

Who were the cool kids? Okay. Who were the people who were like, yeah, but I'm on Too Hot to Handle? Or was it Love is Blind? Because Love is Blind is arguably the biggest show. I think it is the biggest show. Yeah. I would say, from my experience, when I see the Too Hot to Handle lot, I'm like, meh.

It's just like, because i was on it i haven't really got whatever but when i look at the love is blind lot i have this kind of sense of wariness how so like all if i have sex with one of them are they going to fall in love are they going to want my babies okay you might be literally too hot to handle for them well if they go on a show and they're ready to get married it's like oh they're clearly ready for commitment you know you're just afraid they're all just gonna fall in love yeah yeah it was me this time fuming well tell me more about the love is blind lot as you say fun fact actually i don't think anyone knows this but i

weren't i wasn't able to watch Love is Blind before going on Perfect Match. Okay. You'd never seen it? No. It was aired at the same time that I was filming in Panama. And how did that impact your decision making? You can watch someone on TV then meet them and they can be two completely different people. Or you can watch it and be like, oh, okay, I kind have a small sense of like who they are and their personality and stuff was bartice a daddy when he was down on perfect match or

he wasn't no wait did he have one in the oven i don't oh yeah shit because he's a dad now isn't he yeah and his kid was born in december was that before or after we filmed perfect match when did you film perfect match we oh fucking hell i'm really bad at maths march yeah oh my god i was there on my birthday the 5th of march and he entered 2022 yeah march is the third month of the year yeah and it said she likely fell pregnant march of 2022 hang on a second so how would she have felt pregnant if he was filming perfect matt how long was he there for i don't know he was there for a couple of weeks what do you think of bartiz i didn't know anything about him when i filmed with him in panama just your time you know because we talk we talk a lot of reality tv right yeah and we we recognize that

all these shows are edited. We don't know who they are. So when we review them or recap them or whatever you want to call it, we like to say that we are responding and critiquing and recapping people's behaviors, not so much the people, because we don't know who they are. We don't know context. We don't know editing. We don't know music. So when we have the opportunity to sit down with someone who has met them does know them has had real interactions with them we like to we like to learn a little bit about them i'm not too keen on bartis to be honest with you why is that i feel like there was certain smug comments he's very patronizing very belittling and personally i don't think he

respects women like men seems like a breaking news to no one well yeah exactly confirmed kill i see something on socials the other day and it was just because you respect women that you are attracted to doesn't mean you respect women that kind of fits the category as him so you feel like to sum up, that if Bartiz didn't find someone physically attractive or attractive, I guess, in other ways, his attitude towards them was more or less belittling, condescending, and just an overall disrespectful. Yeah. That's a shame.

Yeah, it is a shame. Yeah. Hopefully he grows. There's always room for growth. Always room for growth. Anything about Perfect Match or your time on the show that you just want to get off your chest before we move on to other subjects? You hosted the live event.

The watch party. What was that like? That was a fucking shambles. I really want to be a host or like a presenter. Okay. And at first when Netflix asked me to do it, I thought, my mistake, I thought they were asking me to host

the Love is Blind reunion. And I was like, me? I mean, honestly, they might have wished they had. Well, yeah, she was quite savage, weren't she? But I'd done the watch party. Yeah. And then they were like, oh, by the way, it's not working. I'm like, what do you mean it's not working?

They're like, yeah, it's completely crashed. crashed about to stand up and do some like crowd control everybody listen up that's good experience yeah was that your first time doing any type of hosting work so it was my second time the first time i done hosting for talk to handle after show okay um and then after that i got asked to do this and it was weird because it was in front of like 300 people, all of the Netflix executives, like everyone was watching me. And the first thing I said was, you can't get rid of me. I'm like a yeast infection. Memorable. I mean, what else am I going to say?

I mean, it'd do worse than Vanessa, you know. Unbiased, you know. I love Nick. I have no stake in the game. What did you think of Vanessa? She got a lot of heat. She got a lot of heat. Yeah, what did you...

Did you think it was fair, unfair? Would you have... Other questions you would have loved her to ask? So I'm sure that her job is to bring very confrontational subjects up to kind of sit back and then let the rest happen but i do feel like it was unfair like some of the points like i can't remember the names now because it was so long ago but she was speaking to certain people and she was just very passionate and she was being over opinionated she seemed to be yeah

that was the biggest i think critique that people had isated she seemed to be yeah that was the biggest i think critique that people had is that she seemed to have picked sides yeah she did pick sides yeah very obviously as well yeah in front of millions on netflix but she actually sent some flowers to paul yeah to say sorry to paul what do you what do you make of that i reckon it was for press i don't know yeah i mean i don't know it might have been genuine i don't know i've never met her i feel like she deserved marshall deserved more of an apology for how she her she handled an interview with jackie rather than paul because honestly i think paul did slap that girl's ass personally did you how else do you i don't know i think it was kind

of like he moved past and he was like all anxious because the cameras, I don't know. I agree with you, Chloe. I think it was just a tap. I don't know how else do you interpret it. I do think there was more. He walked past her, there was plenty of space and he just went like this. I think he reached out to be like, oh, sorry. Yeah.

Just like an instinctual. Again, maybe you could be right. I just find that shocking. We've talked about, have you been into a you've been to a nightclub I'm assuming it's kind of offensive either way if you're like you look like someone who's never been to a nightclub or like you clearly go to nightclubs we have talked on this show before about in as a woman do you have you ever uh been in a crowd and have a guy unnecessarily touch your waist yeah as he pretends to like need to like guide himself through the

crowd yeah how is that any different girls always guide themselves through crowds do we feel the need to grab guys way i've I've never been grabbed. Never? No one's fallen over? Like everyone's fine? Everyone finds their way? I just don't get it. Just shoulder barge. Yeah.

I won't get offended if someone... And even if you have to touch someone, tap them on the shoulder, what about their hips? Their waistline? Do you need to touch? Excuse me. Excuse me. Just touch the middle of your back.

But I'm just wondering how is what paul did any different i just didn't look i don't know didn't look sexual i mean i think it's because everyone's team paul over team micah and this is a classic case of we don't we don't agree with who is right or wrong we agree with who we like the most i feel like i like paul than i do i like paul more than micah sure yeah and i think we want to give paul the benefit of the doubt but maybe his cute curly hair doesn't take away from the fact that he definitely slapped her ass i feel like he could have had something going on with what's that other one's name uh shelby no arena arena i think way more happened than what they showed really because

there was like a whole segment what make you think that a week's worth of shit could happen on tv but they would only show 10 minutes of it so if only a five minute speculation of a couple happens they just wouldn't put it in if it didn't hold weight and substance so i feel like you don't wait you you think reality tv editors don't only put things in if there's meat behind it so to speak you don't think they ever take the liberty to like this looks like something even though there's nothing actually there yeah yeah but i just feel like i I don't know. I had a gut feeling when I watched it. This looks like there's more behind it. Listen, we love a speculation.

But it's just a gut feeling. Just a gut feeling. There's no facts behind it. Who cares about facts these days? Hold on to your kilts, dearies. Peacock original The Traitors is back with a new season of strategy, betrayal, sabotage, and murder. This killer season features an all-new celebrity cast that Vulture hailed as reality royalty, living in a Scottish castle for the ultimate murder mystery competition.

We're talking fierce competitors, reality stars, and public figures battling it out for a whopping cash prize. This season's cutthroat missions are next level, just like whatever Alan Cumming pulls out of his brilliantly eccentric wardrobe. One thing is for sure, these 21 players will do anything to avoid a plot in Alan's graveyard. Find out why critics and audiences alike are raving about the Emmy

award-winning series. The New York Times is calling it a murder mystery with clothes to die for, and Vox adding that it should be your new reality TV obsession. We are certainly obsessed. Stream every episode of Traders now, only on Peacock. Ladies and gentlemen. What are you doing?

What do you mean? Just keep it simple. I'm making the promo. Just keep it simple. Just say, hey, we're the Brav Bros, two guys that talk about Bravo. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, we're the Brav Bros. No. Wow.

Dude, stop with the voice. Just keep it simple. I've seen promos on TV, dude. This is how you get the fans engaged. This is how you get listeners. We're trying to get listeners here. If we just say, oh, we're two dudes that talk about Bravo, people are going to get tired of it already.

We need some oomph. All right, then fine. Let's try to do it with your voice. Brav Bros. Good job. All right, then fine. Let's try to do it with your voice. Bravo, bros. Good job. As a Brit? Yeah. You got a new king?

Yes. How do you feel? Excited? Pissed? Not one bit different. Are we pro-royal family? Are we anti-royal family? Do we just not give a fuck?

How do you feel? He looks sleepy. He looks old. Yeah. That's what I said. I said it is not giving me confidence in the future of this monarchy when he and camilla are stumbling around but barely able to move exactly but also i i mean as a brit yeah what does that mean he's gonna die and i they have like seven or eight backups we should

have just jumped yeah but what is he gonna do or not do i mean i don't even i don't even know what the king's job is to be honest with you i don't even know and i'm a brit is that like a generational thing because when i was in london for the first time last summer took one of your black cabs lovely experience good really great experience uh it's like a cab ride and a tourist kind of attraction all at the same time but that particular gentleman like talked about how at least for some people it's a big deal it's the equivalent of people in america and like you know their flags and fireworks yeah it's the patriotic there's some psychos in britain that

have like full-blown houses like their actual houses are filled with the mugs and the the flags and the fake crowns and the pictures and like people get really obsessed over this i just don't think i was educated or my parents just just didn't give a fuck did you have any strong reactions like when the harry and megan drama yeah it's like at its massive love and i love it i love it because there's so many people that are like oh oh, Chloe, you're from London. What do you think of the Meghan and Harry drama? At the beginning, I was like, I don't really care. Like, just let them do their thing, you know.

But now? Since watching the Netflix documentary between them two, I really don't like Meghan. I used to like her and I used to think, oh, I love her. What it was that you didn't like? What I loved was that she's kind of like a normal person. was an actor she had a career before now she's stepping into royal territory which I thought was a disaster waiting to happen anyway because they are born and bred to be stuck in this airtight family away from the world but the way she was slandering the queen and laughing about her on the documentary next to the grandson i just thought please have more respect i thought i was a little petty yeah

i just thought listen you fucking married into the royal family what do you expect what about harry do you feel like he went a couple steps too far i thought when i watched the documentary i i was endeared to har, especially like his military service. I'm like, here's a guy who's born into literal royalty. And he's like, you know what? I'm still going to serve my country. Literally put himself in harm's way. I mean, there's no more honorable thing to do than to volunteer for the military.

It was his book for me that was like, all right, bro. That's. What bit? The spare. Yeah. He wrote a whole- He had a book that came out like two weeks later. And he was just like, it sounded like a guy who was pretty pissed off that he wasn't born first.

Really? Yeah. Was that the one that went viral on TikTok? Yeah. Of the different stories between the two of them? There was a fake audio of him saying something about his dick putting cream on his dick putting cream

that reminded him of his mom on his dick so that wasn't real that wasn't real I thought well he did have a frostbitten dick

at Kate and Will's wedding didn't he fuck if I know should I just call him yeah I'm pretty sure he had frostbite on his pee pee

okay what from though I saw a story today that he had frostbite on his pee-pee. Okay. What from, though? I saw a story today that he got in a fight with his ghostwriter. Yeah, Harry experienced frostbite on his penis while on an expedition to Antarctica in 2011. What was the expedition for? Why his dick? What's an expedition?

So I guess his... Yeah, it's like, what, hiking? I guess his mom really liked the Elizabeth Arden lip cream. And that was what he used when he had a froth spitting penis. That's what he used to jerk off? No, to help the frostbite. I'm calling bullshit. And I think he jerked off using that lotion. He must have.

Like, who even gets frostbite on their dick? First of all, why would lip balm help with frostbite i could well maybe if it's like extra like nourishing no i'm sorry it wouldn't be my choice when you're buying a cream does the word extra nourishing come up oh yeah i need this can you use this for frostbite on penis i imagine it's one of those afflictions where you're kind of freaking out and being like what do i have and like just like reaching for something and being like oh this should work no guy has ever put any type of ointment on their dick for any other reason other than to masturbate he said but why would you put it in a book he got paid 40 bazillion dollars

or something i don't know my penis maybe for like every mention of his dick he got an extra meal between extremely sensitive and borderline traumatized. His penis. Go on, Harry. His penis was? His penis was oscillating between extremely sensitive and borderline traumatized. What is that? It sounds like a headline about Megan.

Yeah. The words oscillating and dick do not go together. Yeah, no. Bad combo. So not a Megan fan, no. Not a Megan fan. She's gorgeous obviously love her just don't love her what would be okay you run into megan you're in the same building you're heading to an appointment you guys are stuck in an elevator oh god and she was like you know what

you're british you seem nice you seem smart what advice do you have for me? She's asking you. She's asking me for advice. Yeah. Like, do you have any notes? Like, did you see the documentary? Did you read the book?

I'm having a hard time with this family. My in-laws are a pain in the ass. Do you have any advice for me on family dynamics and PR and like public kind of facing things? What advice would you give to megan going forward you just be like you know if you just try a little bit a little bit you know sometimes silence speaks a

thousand words you think she just she just needs to shut up like just stop fucking rinsing it all right you're with the royal family now you're not all your security's been stripped just live your happy life that you want to live she seems to be doing that now she seems to be doing that and you know i'm so glad that they're actually able to just live life now without the stress and the pressure of holding the royal family together and she had to throw a birthday party that's why she couldn't go what she didn't want to miss her son archie's birthday Do you believe that? On the same day as the coronation They didn't even go to the coronation

Harry did, Meghan didn't She's causing so many problems But would she have caused more problems if she went? Because then more eyes are going to be on her People are going to be talking about her Do we not even know if she wasn't even invited or if she uninvited herself

I think it's one of the two. And I think not going just makes it more obvious. And of course, the articles are going to lap it up. Oh, she didn't go to the coronation. But I also- Yeah, I mean, Harry was already a distraction when he peaced out immediately following the coronation. I don't know if I buy the excuse that she didn't want to be a distraction.

I think to Chloe's point, she's already there or not there. It's already talked about. I think it's talked about less when she's not there. Because honestly, it's what we saw in the documentary too of they started throwing things at Megan when all the headlines between her and Kate were just Megan, Megan, Megan, Megan, Megan. Could you imagine like a perfect match set up with like the royal family and just like a family counseling session

between like the king and Meghan and Harry and William and Kate. I'd love it. What a show. Chloe will host. Yeah, I'm the host. I'd love it. I'd love to just sit inside the royal family's walls just for like a few seconds.

I'm sure we have an imagination as to what it would be like but i bet you any money it's not even close to what we think it would be like and that's why sometimes i have a hard time judging megan because i don't fucking know what she went through in that royal family we're not here to judge any of them we're just here for the entertainment they are giving and we are receiving do you feel that way about yourself like how do you deal with the stresses of putting yourself out there? I mean, I feel like obviously being on multiple Netflix shows puts me out there anyway. I try not to do that much on social media. Social media, I just have like fun with.

I try not to draw certain attention to certain points in my life. Like I'm in a relationship right now, but I haven't shown him yet. Oh, okay. So it's almost like- How'd you meet? So we always lie to everyone else and say, oh, we met through mutual friends because it sounds better. And so he's letting your DMs?

But we actually met on Raya. There you go. Oh. Love that. We applaud the honesty. Yes. Yeah. There you go.

Oh, yeah. Love that. We applaud the honesty. Yes. Yeah. I don't understand. When did mutual friends in grocery stores and libraries or coffee shops become the romantic version? Is it just because of the meet cute kind of concept in movies?

Like, why do we care? I mean, if you're going to lie, do it properly. If you were going to lie about meeting like a girl, I don't know if you're single or not, but if you were gonna lie about me in like a girlfriend i don't know if you're single or not but if you were okay so you're in a relationship yeah and if someone said to you how did you meet and you were gonna lie if i was gonna lie i mean i just tell people she's listening to my dms oh but if you were gonna make up like a meet cute story like what would be your dream well that's the thing i don't i don't that's why like why is the protist department that much more charming than the dms you know it's like yeah we were at a whole foods and we

both grabbed for the same melon and then like you know we yeah or like air one have you heard of that is it air one i have you said it like air one air one air one i mean listen like we i think our story is kind of funny and embarrassing and and if you leave if you believe in the whole like you know serendipitous types of things i mean this is a true disorder version of the truth i i lived in venice at the time venice california and i used to get chair massages at the whole foods just because i love a good massage and i went so much that i built a rapport with my massage therapist, Diane. Shout out, Diane.

And this was a few years back and as a content creator, you know, we're always telling you, post more. Yeah. And I was like, I had to post in forever and I was like, hey, can you take a pic of me? I just like, I haven't posted in forever. And so my massage therapist walked out with me

to the parking lot of a Whole Foods, snapped a picture, I posted it and that's what showed up on Natalie's Explorer page, and that's why we are in a relationship today. Wow. So that could not be more kismet, more romantic.

Thank you, Explorer page. That is literally... Is Diane making a speech at the wedding? I haven't talked to her. You know, we lost touch after... You've literally lost touch. Literally. I miss her hands.

I just can't believe you used to get massages in whole food how does anyone do that i've never it's always fine but one time i had a lady walk up to me and whisper in my ears something like like she didn't like about my time on reality tv and it wasn't nice oh oh my and then i am because i never like talked to her about like who i was or anything like that i was like yeah people are fucking weird oh my god it seemed like it was a random yeah just like a random person uh it was wild what did what did she say uh it was just like i didn't like you on the show or or something like that or i can't believe you said that or

i don't know what i'd do in that situation. I didn't really do it, yeah. You just let people come and go. Yeah. I read somewhere that used to be in the pageant arena. I done one pageant. One. I fucking hated it.

You did. But it taught me a lot. I went to South Korea for like two months on my own. Okay. At like 17 years old. 17. 17. 17.

There we go. Yeah. Some of the modules. You guys just throw away letters. We don't need that. No teen. 17. We're just very lazy.

Trying to think of other words. I mean, I should be. I mumble all the time. Like the British language is right up my alley. Yeah. Because it's clearly working so well. You got me. Diver.

Diver. This is great. you're killing it yeah but it's more of an essex thing than like a if you're doing like a standard like so you you only did it once the reason why i asked is i don't know how familiar you are with vanderpump rules so i love vanderpump which is lisa yeah yeah from housewife yeah who is also british yeah didn't realize she had her own fucking show whole whole thing that's crazy and it's what 12 seasons in yeah and it's wild right now but the one of the main characters she just says whether you like it or not her name is

racool okay she talked about how she's now 28 right but she aged out of the pageant world she's too old and that was a big deal for her but i was just wondering if you had any kind of insight into what that experience was but you only did it for one time yeah i done it once really your thing i mean i came like third nice a good amount of people yeah i don't think she did she ever take third top 15 yeah she was top 15 well it must suck i don't know i wouldn't know just like any industry it has its ups and its downs british chivalry i'm curious about that i was actually talking uh with natalie my fiancee um and chivalry nowadays is kind of it's it's i think been up for debate i think in 2023 we we talk

more and more about gender roles and things like that and independence and but then the conversation of chivalry comes into play it's just like well can you still kind of be pro kind of independent person dater but still want uh chivalry in your relationship. Yeah. And so I was curious, is chivalry important to you? And what are some traditional moves of chivalry, like opening the door, walking on the outside of the sidewalk, picking up the bill, pumping gas? What are some chivalry things that you will let slide? And what are some ones that if they don't do,

it's an absolute- No go. No go. I have one that's in that list that if a guy doesn't do, I think any person who dates a man, I guess, but any heterosexual relationship, you should leave.

If your guy doesn't do this, 100% of the time, you should not date him. But I'm just curious if you have. If your guy doesn't do this, 100% of the time, you should not date him. But I'm just curious if you have. If I have one of those. It's in the list of ones I listed. Okay. So what would you list on that?

You just want me to say it? Yeah. Pumping gas. Oh, okay. Yeah, I feel like. If you are dating a guy and you're driving and he doesn't pump your gas,

if a guy sits in your car while you get out and pump the gas, break up. See, I didn't even realize that was a thing. I've done that multiple times. Do you give the card to them? Amanda has a look of... Do you give the card to them? Do you still pay for the gas?

You don't have to pay. So they're going to pay and pump? You should pay for your own gas, especially in an early dating situation. But they're supposed to go out and do it. Fuck yes. Okay. I just think that is...

No, you disagree? I just hadn't heard of that as the classic chivalry. I just couldn't imagine ever sitting in a car while my girlfriend, or just literally any woman I'm friends with... You're very passionate about this. Yes. Very passionate.

I am. I've never heard it before today. Have you pumped gas while some guy friend of yours sat in a car? Yeah. Many times. I think for me- So rude. Am I alone here?

Are people listening? That would be lovely, but it doesn't happen. It should. Say in the comments what you think. Yeah. I'm disgusted by all the men who would not get out of the car and pump their girlfriend's gas. I see it from the standpoint of gas stations, I feel like, are one of the prime spots for getting cat called or people kind of saying shit to you. So I guess from that angle, I could maybe see why it would be a nice courtesy.

And it's the part that I'm sitting in the car. And it's a whole process. And depending on where you are, the weather could be not as lovely outside. It could be cold. It could be rainy. It could be windy. There's just so many opportunities to step up. You know, like opening the door,

like I'll acknowledge it every, like, you know, once in a while, I'll be like, hey babe, I'll get the door for you. But there are plenty of times where like, you know, Natalie and I are getting in the car and we just get in the car, you know? And there might be times where I'm not running to the door to make sure I open it. Like I always try to remember remember but there are plenty of times where i just like drop the

ball so to speak right but like pumping the gas i just i just couldn't imagine sitting in the car well i just feel like i'm on my phone checking twitter well yeah she's out there yeah maybe getting cat called to stand maybe getting gas in hands, maybe just getting wind in her face or rain in her hair. Not the wind in the face. Oh, no. I'm not saying she can't. I was about to catch on fire. I'm not saying she can't do it.

Clearly, she can. I just like it's such an easy thing to do to say, hey, babe, I'm going to I got this. Yeah. I mean, I would love that. My current partner does that. He does. I can't drive over here he drives i haven't got an american license so he has no other option than to put the gas in the

car because it's his car and he's driving but even if you're riding shotgun because i hate driving now he often drives us but i'm usually i'm always pumping the gas i strongly feel for anyone listening including you if next time you're in the car with a guy and you're driving your car or he's driving your car and you need to get gas, you just sit there and look at him and be like, whenever you're ready, here's the credit card. Or just replay this part of the podcast to him or play this bit of the podcast in the car before going to fill your car up with gas. Map it out. Be like, you have to be 14 minutes in. I just think if a guy is not willing to do that,

I promise you there are going to be several other scenarios in which he is not willing to go out of his way to do something to make you feel special or prioritize you

because it is such a simple thing that I think is very much appreciated. And then when it's not done, it's like, oh, I missed that. Yeah. And then if you end up breaking, it's like, oh, I miss that. Yeah. And then if you end up

breaking up and she gets with someone else and that guy doesn't do that, then it's like she automatically misses you. So you're setting the bar high. Not even. It's the easiest thing

in the world. I can't believe this is a hot take. I mean, we're experiencing men over here that have us pay for dates. So it's like, what do you expect? Yeah. So okay i'm alone here but what are are there things when it comes

to chivalry do you have any ones you really appreciate versus ones you don't give a shit about i've started to notice that for me when i'm walking through a crowd with my fella, he has to walk in front of me. In front? Yeah. I want him to lead. Yeah. Yeah. I feel that.

It's like an alpha thing. So he can touch people's backs, of course. That's the only way he can get through a crowd. He can slyly slap people's bums. But for me, that makes me feel more protected. When I'm behind him, he's moving through the crowd enforcing his way through holding my hand interestingly so i i think that's really interesting i honestly it's a good note i'm gonna ask nally what she thinks but recently we went to stagecoach it's the crowd uh i find i

think nally's pretty beautiful and i i think men i I'm sure, find her attractive. I have found that sometimes I like walking right behind her, you know, with my, either holding her hand or like sometimes I'll just grab like a belt loop

or something which is kind of a cute little thing because I have found, well, as we know, men can be gross. Yeah.

Little, little, little eye with her little. And so I, it's a, eye, what's the word? Eyeball in her? Eyeball. Little, little, little eye with her little. And so I, it's a, I, what's the word?

Eyeball in her eyeball. Well, I, I, I, I, I, I,

I, I like calling out guys, especially when they're with their girlfriends, because if a guy is, you know, if you're like with his girlfriend, whether he's in front of her, behind her,

she can't really see his eyes. And it's very easy. I'll see a guy like in front of her behind her she can't really see his eyes and it's very easy i'll see a guy like in front of me right and i can just tell this is the type of guy who's gonna like he's gonna take a look i just you can just tell whether he's with a girlfriend or not and so when he's with his girlfriend and if i catch him i i it's fun to embarrass them what do you do like what do you say i'll be like no or like watch your guy or love something like that yeah like i've had a couple guys like pat me and they'll no matter what they no matter how big or how old or who they are when you catch a guy like that and you

call him out he melts what would you do if i melted he like turns real small like if my boyfriend was ogling someone else yeah and someone came up to him and was like, stop looking at my girl and just walked off. How would you confront that situation? I don't know how I would confront that situation. I don't know what I would do. No, because you see these guys and you just watch their eyes and it usually goes right down to the chest and they do it so kind of quickly.

So just so you know, ladies, when your guy's walking in front of you. Just be careful. Chances are he might be looking at someone's. Boobies. Yeah, but also if they're in front, like just be careful chances are he might be looking at someone's boobies yeah but also if they're in front like chloe was saying then you're kind of like shielded in a way yeah what do you mean shielded if i'm walking behind someone you can't see his eyes no i know i'm just saying no one can ogle you yeah but nick is talking about maybe this guy ogling others yeah but then you have to trust in your partner well they're ogling others. Other women, yeah. But then you have to have trust in your partner.

Well, they're ogling Natalie. I'm so confused. I can't see them ogling Natalie if I'm in front of her. Yeah, but your body is blocking her. I'm not like covering her. If we're holding hands, it's not like she's invisible. I'm sick. Who's ogling who?

Everyone stand up. No, we're not doing a demonstration. No, but if I'm holding Chloe's hand, right, and you, Alice, and Amanda are walking towards us. Who's in front, me or you? If I'm in front of you. You're in front, I'm behind. I'm holding your hand,

and there's a little bit of space, and a guy, this all happens real fast, but it's not like guys are ogling or ogling or whatever you want to call it from a distance but it's a guy walks past and men tend to be taller than women now he's manly is very tall but just kind of easy to kind of look down and when you see a guy do that it's just fun to call him out because and they're literally walking holding hands with their girlfriends and it's maybe i'm just not gonna let him go in front of me anymore i'm just gonna take the lead i'm just saying i see a lot of guys in front of the

ladies like checking out other women while they're holding hands with their girlfriends okay i got an ick once from a guy who we were walking home from a first date amanda will be me just have your arms like this and literally on the walk home, he put his arms like, like he was holding on to me. Oh, like a choke. Like literally, like literally,

like he was the like, quote unquote, girl of the situation. Like I literally was like, oh my God, why am I leading you down the street? Yeah.

Yeah. Two hands on one of your arms. I'm like, nope, it's a lot. That's a lot. Yeah, I'm with Chloe.

Like you should be leading me not the other way around no i like the lead part it's just yeah but you're also not like clutching onto her arm like you're an old man i hear you yeah i'm just saying yeah i like the lead part but it's it's hard to keep a watchful eye yeah stay vigilant and that's also just kind of fun catching these guys i don't know yeah do guys explore page catching these guys. I don't know. Yeah. Do guys explore page on IG matter? Oh. I don't think so.

All right. I was curious. Because I think the algorithm is... Would you whip out your explore page right now? Would I what? But I won't. Like if you went on your boy's Instagram to look up something and then you saw his explore page was like all girls in bikinis.

Oh, we've already had this conversation. Yeah. bother me yeah yeah but he's he's an athlete and most of his content is like his profession or cars because we were watching tiktok and his algorithm is cars to the tiktok algorithm i think is more damning or fine-? Or fine-tuned? Fine-tuned. I think it's more damning because I think it's a direct result of what you're watching. Exactly. And I think the Instagram algorithm, I honestly,

it's just how does some of this shit show up on my page? Yeah. It's like, okay. So I think TikTok is a little bit more, if you're scrolling through your Man's For You page and some

hotties come up then it's like then I think that's more problematic than the Instagram Explorer page because I don't feel like that one makes much sense at all. I used to do that on early dates just be like whip out your for you page right now. Oh no. Yeah. Really? Yeah like on like a third date or something.

Okay. First it's a little heavy. No. Yeah. And this is like not I'm not trying I'm not like desperate for a third date or something. Third, okay. It's better than the first. It's a little heavy. No, yeah. And this is like, not, I'm not trying, I'm not like desperate for the affection of this person. What if a guy you're on a date with has just like, you know, a bunch of attractive women? Yeah, what would you actually do?

He's a single guy. Is there anything wrong with that? I think it would just give us an indication of like the type of girls he likes. But then that also feeds into my insecurities because my boyfriend's ex-partners are all blonde they're all from california none of them have tattoos and i'm quite rough around the edges tattoos nick we've been over this drop the middle teeth yeah try not to go down those little rabbit holes but then i do and i love it up the middle teeth. It's fun. Suck it in. Tattoos. Tattoos.

Yeah, try not to go down those little rabbit holes. But then I do and I love it. I'm like, show me your for you page. How long have you been dating this gentleman?

About five months now. You love him? I would say I love him, yeah. Okay. Is he a bit of a celeb? No. Just a normie?

He's very like low profile. He's really good at what he does. What's he do? Yeah, what sport? He's a hockey player. Oh. He's really good at what he does What's he do? Yeah what sport? He's a hockey player Oh Hockey

I didn't even know Hockey existed Like what league? Until I met him So He was in the NHL Oh And then got dropped back

For some reason Still pretty good Can't remember the story But yeah He's on his way up again He was injured Oh sure Okay

Yeah so Double hip surgery Raya Oh. He's on his way up again. He was injured. Oh, sure. Okay. Yeah, so double hip surgery. Raya. Oh. Yeah. He's not one of these, you know, because in the UK we have this saying where it's like, my type on paper is a guy that's an athlete but was injured. We make fun of that in the UK, but in this case it's like...

Why do people in the UK like injured athletes? Because that's the fuckboy genre. They're like, oh, I could have been a pro athlete, but I injured my knee. But he actually was. He actually was, yeah. So it's like... Okay.

He's very determined. Have you ever had a fuckboy era? As a girl? Well, we on this show use fuckboy more as a verb. Is it a verb? What do we call it? It's a gender neutral term. Yeah, it's just more of a...

Like if you're saying a fuckboy era, that's an adjective. An adjective? Okay. It's more of a behavior. Like a ho phase. Yeah. I call it a ho phase. Not for anyone else.

We just call it all fuckboys. Yeah, I think because maybe it's like in addition to like having fun, having a bunch of different partners, there's also kind of the implication with fuck boy that like maybe you're leading people on a bit or not actively leading them on but not giving them all the info that they might need to make a different choice on your interest i have yeah i have my my era through that phase i would say say a couple years ago, I would physically tell people like, I love you, which was bad and toxic of me. Early on?

Yeah. In the dating? Yeah. Why? Did you know consciously you didn't love them? Oh, no, it wasn't. Or you were just more, I love this feeling.

I'm going to call it love because it feels and sounds good. That one. Only to realize that maybe I didn't feel it. It wasn't and now fuck, I'm trapped. just a little bit of emotional immaturity yeah you were only not nine nine nine nine you know so like yeah i'm much mature now much more mature now are teenagers going around like calling each other love bombers yeah i bet they are can't they just be like middle school boys are getting in fight you're a gaslighter i bet they are honestly i bet they are can't they just be like middle school boys are getting in fight you're a gaslighter i

bet they are honestly i bet they are they're just like fuck man i just like i got it wrong i was not in you've been a narcissist since the ninth grade probably yeah i didn't even know what uh gaslighting was until like six months ago now it's being used fucking everywhere everywhere yeah i've given up yeah it used to be a fight that nick was fighting. Now you're fighting the gas fight. You used to be a gaslight and now you're a pro pumping gas. Now it's just a word. What is an extreme love bombing situation though? Because I mean, I've been bought flight plane tickets,

Louis Vuitton handbags at like 5k plus. Looking back in hindsight, for me, love bombing because of the type of person you turn out to be because he invoiced me for all of the gifts he got me what yeah it was really bad how did he invoice you so he emailed me but when i blocked his email he then messaged my mom and was harassing my family i actually got him arrested oh my my God. Yeah, he was arrested. For what? Harassment. Oh, wow. Like extreme harassment.

I'm so sorry to deal with that. It was fine. It comes down to my emotional immaturity at the time. But I feel like I've heard from him. I don't think that's your fault that you got harassed. No. But that was the extremeness of the love bombing. And he loved bombing you how?

Expensive gifts. Expensive. Plane tickets. Yeah. Yeah. From very early on. extremeness of the love bombing and he was he loved you how expensive gifts explain tickets yeah yeah from very early on but love bombing just to be clear is doing those things with an ask behind it like you're doing it specifically to an illicit something it's yes rather than you know people mistaken love bombing when you're using the word we're just saying you know getting excited and saying i love you a little too quickly yeah mature and reckless and you know in times can be harmful because people can take it seriously isn't necessarily like maybe he was more of the manipulative type very yeah he wanted something back from It would be, why won't you do that if I've got you this?

Yeah. Or. That, there you go. So it's like using it against me. Yeah. When there's an ask behind. The you wouldn't be nothing if it wasn't for me kind of attitude. There you go.

That's the definition. We chalk that up as love bowing. Yeah. Yeah. Speaking of relationships, should we get to our. Sweating the wedding car. Sweating sweating the wedding it's a doozy how's it going it's all right what's your name i don't believe you zoe zoe how uh how old are you zoe 27 how can we help i'm thinking about calling off my wedding and leaving my fiance okay well uh how long have you been engaged for?

We've been engaged in 2021. So almost two years. How long were you dating before you got engaged? A year and a half. Okay. Just sum up in one sentence, why are you considering leaving your fiance and calling off the wedding? Just to sum it up, I guess there's a lot of trust issues there. There's things that have happened in the past that I'm not entirely sure I'm able to get over moving forward.

Did he cheat on you? Yes. Okay. How did you find out? He went on a guy's trip and the girl looked him up on social media and messaged me. How far into the relationship was this? Yeah. Was this like in the early stages? This was, no, we were engaged already. So it was actually a year ago. Okay. All right.

Well, I'm sorry that happened. That sucks. That's okay. How did you address it with him? Because obviously you stayed together. You're still engaged. When's the wedding, by the way? Yes.

It's to be, it was next next month but it's like postponed right now when did you postpone it after i found out that okay and yeah so after you found out that he cheated you postponed and you have yet to set a new date so to speak correct okay yeah uh who knows about the infidelity everybody everyone okay All right. And is that your doing or more his doing? My doing. Yeah. Okay. It's been a year removed. How do you feel about that? You know, imagine when you first found out you're going through a million different things, your head was spinning, probably wanted some justice. And listen, you were the victim in that scenario. And you probably told a lot of people after the dust settled and

you decided to stay with him. Did you ever regret telling as many people as you did? For sure. Especially my family. Yeah. It definitely took a toll on our relationship. Because did you find that it was easier for you to forgive him than it was for them? Oh, 100%. Yeah. Yeah. What did you, so you decided to stay with him for now. Like, how did things play out after you found out?

Did he cop to it right away? What was the reason you stayed in the relationship? So I had like suspicion that something had happened and asked several times and there was obviously all denial until I found out. And once I found out, I don't like to use the word gaslighting, but I just feel like I was a little gaslit. And I know you don't love when people That's okay. We were just joking about it. That's fine. But what, what, yeah. Give us an example of why you feel that way yes so once i found out he kind of like twisted it like well you're never going to be able to get over this

so i think you should just leave me which in turn like made me feel like yeah because it then made me feel like well why aren't you giving me the chance to see if i can get over it or like why aren't you you know fighting to help me get over his energy wasn't i fucked up i'm so sorry what can i do to fix this what can we do that wasn't that so he didn't admit the cheating scandal straight away it was like you confronted him he denied it to a point until you had like factual evidence that like you cannot deny this anymore exactly and there's no wrong answer because it's a very vulnerable situation you're in and but i'm curious what made you stay in that relationship i feel like once he like wasn't fighting for me it almost like made me

feel like i needed a sense of like validation that he like wanted me yeah it's like messed up as that sounds but i felt like it made me oddly like want him more because i wanted to feel like wanted and like validated from him so i honestly didn't really even like consider leaving at that point that's not crazy it's not yeah it's valid no did you any any therapy on you or him is there couples therapy did you guys do anything we've talked about couples therapy but never have but i then after that got therapy you did well good for you did you suggest it to him yeah it's just honestly it's like both of our faults like we just never went forward with it does he know you're considering leaving him? Um,

yeah. After recent events, which I guess we'll get to, I think he, Oh, well, yeah. Is there an update? What are some recent events?

Yeah. Oh yeah. Um, I think this is like more so what I'm focused on. Um, we did take a break in December. Um, for about a month.

Three, three. Yeah. Including an X, right? Well, yeah. um for about a month three three yeah including an x right well yeah and how did you find that out i then i had suspicion again and asked like several times and like said like it's okay i know we were broken up like i just like kind of want to clear the air so i don't hear it from other people and i'm blindsided and you know like absolute all denial so i you know went through his phone so he didn't even tell you he denied who instigated the breakup or the break he did okay what was the purpose what was his reasoning for the break it's so embarrassing but i went out and he didn't like what i wore

huh he didn't like what i wore huh he didn't like what i wore going out he thinks it was a little provocative oh he sucks he's a little provocative for sticking his dick in someone do you have you have you ever cheated on him has there been any suspicions about you and another guy for him to even consider feeling insecure about you going out in a sexy outfit no i mean early like literally like the first month of us dating i wasn't sure about him so i was like still seeing other people but he knew about that that's so normal yeah so there was never like me making him feel insecure at all he's just projecting his own shit onto you. Did you find out about the three women after the break ended?

Yeah, I just did not too long ago, a couple of weeks ago. A couple of weeks ago. And how long have you been back together? And why did you get back together? How did the break end? So the break ended after that, him being upset with what I wore. And then- What did you wear, him being upset with what I wore. And then... What did you wear, by the way?

I'm just curious. Like a corset top and a leather jacket and skirt and booties. That's why every day I wear. Yeah. I would wear that on with my parents. Exactly. Yeah, I thought it was cute, but I guess not. No, it definitely was cute that's probably

why he didn't want you to wear it because he's worried that you're gonna get snatched because you're a catch you definitely need to break up with him yeah yeah you said in your email zoe i can't find the courage to stand up for myself and i find myself blaming it on me and thinking i'm the problem so it seems like maybe your mind is made up in terms of like what you should do it's a matter of like actually how to follow through with that like you've done nothing wrong what do you feel like when you find yourself feeling like standing up for yourself kind of in your brain you're like this is fucked up I deserve better I know I give better to him like what are the things that kind of prevent you from acting on that and like sort of severing

yeah how can we make you feel more confident about your decision to break up with him i know i just think like exactly like you said i think i like have my mind made up and then i think more into it and i'm like okay well what if i i am the problem and then like months from now i regret like leaving him and realizing like i'm the one with the issues what could possibly be your issues i i don't know i really don't there isn't any yeah and have you thought of you know i mean that's what i'm saying this is like you put you can think long and hard you can't come up with anything i don't listen i'm sure you know we all can be irritating in relationships, but like you don't cheat.

You're not unfaithful. I guess I then like worry, am I overreacting because we were broken up? Well, first of all, he cheated on you. Yeah. There's that. Yeah. And then he asked for a break and he used an excuse about your outfit to make you feel bad about it because what he really wanted to do was have he really and i i'm just gonna say it

and i well i hope it's not hard to hear but like all he really wanted is an excuse to sleep with other women that that's why he took a break it wasn't because of your outfit he just decided to make you feel better about it and yeah it is a bit gaslighting and that is now a pattern of him not taking accountability for his actions right and and making you feel bad but all he really wanted to do was take a break so that he could have sex with other women and this time not be labeled a cheater. Yeah.

That's all he wanted. Right, yeah. And then when he was done with that and when he got a little bored or wanted more security, was ready to get back and work on this relationship, that's when he got back together with you. Yeah. I mean, that's how I see it too.

I just, for a second, get myself. And cheating is less about sex and more about the lying. And he's still lying to you. Yeah. A lot. An awful lot. I think it's like, cause I asked so many times if he had, and I feel like I would have had an easier time getting over it and accepting it.

But it's just the fact of like, I asked for months and he would call me crazy. When was the last time you were single? gosh um a while i mean like four four or five years yeah yeah that's just your biggest hurdle that's your fear i think yeah probably you know listen and it sucks right i get it like you got engaged i'm sure when you got engaged at the time, very exciting. You were planning a lot of things. You were literally planning a wedding. You set a date. Maybe you picked out a dress.

I don't know. And when shit like that goes south, it hurts extra hard because you, you feel foolish. And then you just have to like, in your brain, you're just like this. My world is not going the way I planned,

you know? And it almost feels like, you know, like a hard drives crashing not going the way i planned you know and it almost feels like you know like a hard drive's crashing it's just i i get it but you're only 27 years old you know you're super young you look great you clearly have a good job you know you're calling from from work right now you're crushing life like you're just carrying dead weight here and you're very aware you're very aware because everything that you're saying right now is like so valid. It's just upsetting that you don't have confidence in what you're saying to make the decision. But I think we know that you've made the decision already. Don't you feel like you're... Don't you just feel heavy right now emotionally?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. And I have to say, I mean, like the month we were broken up it was hard but I definitely felt less on edge there you go so they use that right use that kind of as motivation like if you decide to leave the relationship I don't know I can't I don't know exactly how you're going to feel right afterwards could be a million different things you you're just going to have to be patient with the discomfort you know of breaking up with someone because there's a lot more unknowns than knowns, and unknowns can be pretty scary. We find even toxic comfort, so to speak, comfortable than the unknown. It's like we would rather know that we're going to be uncomfortable rather than not know we might not be, you know? Right.

And so I think just getting your mind comfortable with the idea of not knowing what the future holds for you and embracing that and seeing the unknown as more of opportunity rather than, you know, failure or things like that. I think you're just kind of in your head and you're judging yourself right now what this breakup means to you and you have allowed yourself to judge yourself for his choices to cheat on you.

You've seen it as, you've almost labeled yourself less worthy because you even admitted, it's like you weirdly in a fucked up way almost wanted him more. You got your ego guy involved in things like this. I almost find myself not rewarding him, but I find myself actually treating him better afterwards because I want him to realize what he has. It's messed up, but yeah.

Maybe not to sound corny, but how are you loving yourself? What are you doing to treat yourself? Yeah, I don't think I think too much about myself. You should. Yeah. Yeah. There is no way the version of you that really love yourself would be okay with any of this. No.

This is not a hot take, but like if you were your own mother, like what would you say about this man and the way he's treated you? Like talk to you. Like now, like what would you say? Like say to me what he's treated you? Like, talk to you. Like, now, like, what would you say? Like, say to me what you would say to you if you were your mom. I'd say, like, get out and have a little respect for yourself. And then if you said back, but I don't know, I just find myself having trouble. Like, I feel kind of numb.

I keep doubting myself. What would you say to that? I don't know. I don't know. I think that's my problem. Yeah. Let's just skip to self-love for a second. What about just practicality? You're only 27 years old. The rest of your life, if you marry this guy, let's say there's a world without divorce and you would be stuck with this guy if you got married to him. Imagine that life, having kids with him, buying a house with him, dealing with adversity. For the rest of your life, you're going to have to deal with a person who, when they

feel cornered, all they know is to make you feel worse about yourself. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like I've been thinking about that a lot more lately and it definitely is like an uneasy feeling. What scares you the most about doing it? I guess just like possibility of regrets. thinking about that a lot more lately and it definitely is like an uneasy feeling what scares you the most about doing it i guess just like possibility of regret and probably being alone because i can't tell you the last time i was really like alone i think that's your biggest

hurdle yeah what's your therapist say yeah she thinks i am scared of regret because i've had like regret in the past like from leaving relationship. Oh, really? What was that regret? Why do you regret it? He was just like a really good person, but I was like so young. So I totally regret breaking up with him now because he was such a good person. How long ago was that?

That was a long time ago. How long? Like four or five years ago. Okay. And what's he doing right now? I have no idea. Maybe look him up. I don't know.

Yeah. I'm just saying, I think it sounds like you're someone, and I've been there too, you're really good at getting your head and creating these false narratives, and you stick to these narratives. It's one thing to have regret.

And we actually talked about this in the office the other day. I find it really obnoxious when people like on Vanderpump I don't know if you're watching it but Raquel is like I got no regret because I just make my decisions it's like you can be an adult and you can you can have regret and

still learn from experience you know a lot of people like I have no regrets because like everything that bad happens happens for a reason and I learn from my answer and it's like no I can I can regret it but you you're just like you just like oh i regret this and then you like wear like a fucking cross like and then you just like torture yourself you're just like oh like i i'm someone who has done that i i was really good at really make you know as a as a as a as a catholic you know you're really good at like making yourself suffer you know and shaming yourself and like whatever and like i don't know if you come from a religious background but if you

do like yeah so there's probably a little bit of that in there but like you can regret breaking up with him but you don't need to like wear it like a disease you know like you can just say hey maybe next time i'm in a relationship where i like x y and Z about a guy and he makes me feel loved and secure and confident in myself, I'm going to value those characteristics a little bit more than I'm going to value how he looks or feeling validated by him or just this tickling feeling of chemistry or that spark we're all searching for, which we often find out is just like a fuck boy not giving us validation. So in the future, you can value those things rather than just constantly beating yourself up emotionally so that you psych yourself up so that the next time you're in a toxic relationship like you are now, you are crippled by the fear of the regret that you had for a past relationship. You're comparing apples to oranges yeah and i will say i've known multiple people who either had red flags and debated ending engagements and then went through with it only to have awful relationships i've also known people who have ended it before they got married and they're so thankful they did like i know someone who's got married to this guy and

he was very similar he cheated he gaslit her they had kids together and now he's talking to their daughter the way he used to talk to her like you don't want to get 10 years down the line and be seeing all that happen and i think there's also that hope isn't there of like oh if i was to stay with him just a little bit longer or if i kind of understand my own moral values to how i want and i'm gonna have this guy treat me it's almost like oh it's gonna get better with time and maybe I will get more like confident in myself like and maybe if I stand up to him a little bit more than he will change and I've been in that situation many times and it's like so fucking tiring like it tiring. Like, you deserve to have everything and more

when it comes to a partner and a relationship. This isn't just, oh, it's a relationship or, oh, it's a marriage. Like, it's a lifetime partner. A lifetime partner. Someone that you're going to live with, have kids with, probably die with. Like, this is someone that is going to be in your life forever. And I think a couple years in

and all of these complications are happening already like if you're calling just to get validation from us that you are making the right making the right decision to leave this guy you have that in me like you are well within your rights to feel the way you do you're gorgeous and more than that you're empathetic and you're thoughtful and you're doing all this due diligence to make sure you're not jumping the gun to make sure you're learning from past mistakes and you're doing all of this self-work but it sounds like you're exhausted and probably really numb from like all the pain the only way you could possibly still be in this relationship with all of the shit that he throws at you is if you just learn how to numb out and that makes it really really hard to then take action or to do things differently when you've had to just like

enter this survival state but like i think this could be such a powerful turning point in your life like i think this is the day where you're like i'm gonna save my fucking self like yeah this is within my control and i'm gonna do it and then one day you're gonna meet someone else and then be able to tell your kids that you swapped out this guy. And now you have someone who's like cooking for you when you get home from a long day and your gas, like doing all of these little things that he's probably dropping the ball on because he can't even figure out how to be a part. Oh, can I ask you a question?

We are. You're going to. Does he ever pump your gas? He does. Oh, damn it. Yeah. I'm not saying everyone who pumps gas is like a hero but when you break up with them you have to stay off social media and don't you know as someone who

has this history of of fearing or regret what i would be worried for you to do is to think short term you know because let's say you break up with him he's gonna throw a fit he's gonna make you feel bad and then he's gonna immediately start sleeping with other people oh yeah i kind of came to the conclusion you know when and if i do i just plan on moving like out of state love that because i yeah because i just just know myself and I'll just keep going back out of convenience and it being right there. I just don't think I'm strong enough to be there. Well, I'm so sorry you feel that way, but I hope that you get to the point where you are. Because I think you're stronger than you realize. I think your ego is stronger than you realize as well.

Yeah. And I think this need to feel special or validated by him is consuming you and you gotta know your worth and protect your heart rather than your ego and things like that. But I guess what I was gonna say too, it's just like, if he portrays himself to be happy and moved on, or let's say, it wouldn't shock me at all for him to be in a

relationship in less than six months with someone else almost guaranteed you have no idea how they're feeling or if they're happy you have no idea and even if she's out there posting every day about how her man is so fucking great like she just hasn't learned yet you know what i'm saying you once thought this guy was amazing yeah yeah you once thought he was everything that you ever wanted. Right. And sometimes it just takes time for people to show their true colors. So while you're worried about regret, you just have to realize you just have to have the confidence that you have given this guy way, way, way more time and energy and chances than he deserves. And you have learned everything there is to learn and then some.

He has proven over and over and over who he really is. So like there's zero chance he's going to magically wake up and be the person you've hoped he would be for so long. Right. There's zero chance you're gonna regret it. There's not zero chance you might convince yourself you would regret it, but there's zero chance you will actually regret it yeah do you want me to break up with

them for you yeah we'll do it we will like we're down how oh my god just give us his number and we'll call him email dress he doesn't deserve anything we're fine with an email do you live with them oh i do yeah okay i guess i just need also the validation like especially from like a male perspective like the facts like you've been given like it obviously like looks like he doesn't like respect me and like love me as yeah but here's what you need to get out of your your language it's not you he just doesn't respect anyone he's just self-centered you know what he cares about himself. He is only concerned about his individual happiness.

And you have to get it out of your head that has anything to do with your self-worth. You have to get it out of your head that some other chick is gonna pop into his life and he's gonna magically become this like selfless, loving, considerate, empathetic person who's willing to prioritize someone over himself. It has nothing to do with you. And just because he is faithful for a period of time or charming

for a period of time and considerate for a period of time doesn't mean he's changed. It just means that right now that's making him feel good about himself. But the moment he gets bored or complacent or things get tough, then the person you have gotten to know will pop back up yeah i think i just need to keep reminding myself of that this is not a guy who gives a shit about anyone but himself well it's deep-rooted it goes way before you i bet you any money he treated his ex-girlfriends or ex-fiances like this too like you are not the be-all end-all of his shit behavior like this was definitely happening way before he met you how old is he do we know how old is he he's 25 oh wow and i did actually speak to his ex and it was a similar relationship yeah and you know even the fact that he's younger

than you i don't think whatever i mean he's still an adult he's an adult man so any thought of like maybe he'll grow up i think i use yeah i use the like he's too young card like too much so yeah i give him too much credit i think absolutely again selfish people don't they just think everyone else is selfish he he believes what he says when he's just like yeah i wasn't happy you know because again in his world he is incapable of of considering anyone else's feelings before he considers himself so until like he if his emotional needs aren't being met then he he's incapable of like considering yours and so in his mind he doesn't really think he's doing anything wrong you know he might you know it's the very thomas

sandoval it's like well i know i fucked up but like oh god you know he sounds a lot like thomas sandoval so how do we how do we get off this call with the confidence that you're going to end this relationship i mean i truly think i will it's just like i just don't know how or when yeah there's no right time really i really do feel like i will so are where do you where you live now do you have family and friends yeah do you have people you could stay with yeah like for a long period of time i think you need to get your stuff out i would go to the house like with someone just like grab your stuff have it somewhere else so you don't need to go back for anything or you can send someone for the rest of the stuff he does not deserve some sort of sit down an excuse that's what i was just about to say like i i don't want to feel guilty for like not giving

you don't need no he no you've you've given him the chances he doesn't need a conversation i would recommend you not doing it because of of where you're at emotionally and you acknowledging that you're just not sure if you have the strength. So we have to harness all the energy that you do have just to simply get you out. Yeah. And you would be justified to block him and just completely disappear. And he can call you a ghost or whatever.

It doesn't really matter what he says about you to your friends. You're moving anyways, which is going to be exciting. Is there like a sister or a best friend or like whoever in your life who you know would hold you accountable without making you feel judged because i feel like you must feel so exhausted and isolated and like ashamed because you know you should do something but you haven't done it yet and do you have someone who could

really help you follow through without making you feel guilty if you run into roadblocks along the way yeah i mean i seriously do have like the best support system can you ever can you text them like right after this call and say like i need to leave i've decided we're figuring it out like you need to help me accountable yeah it's like hey you get group text all your girls whoever and just be like i'm i'm finally gonna do it i'm leaving them yeah this is gonna be really hard i need you all as chloe said to hold me accountable accountable and gas me up and support me and make sure that I don't give in to self-pity or my loneliness or being bored or self-doubt or things like that.

And then once you have that, who are you going to stay with? When he's gone, you pack up your shit. You don't have to necessarily get it all. Yeah. And then you block him. you don't have to necessarily get it all and then you block them and then if you have a guy friend or a brother

and you send his ass over there to pick up anything that you've left behind also like whatever sweatshirts or t-shirts or pots or pans like they're all replaceable take you know think of like if there's a fire you grab the important things the things you

can't live without you know and try to get it all if you can. But I'm just saying, if you happen to leave a t-shirt or a shirt behind or whatever, those are all just things that you can replace. They're dead. Yeah. Dead items. Leave them. And in the grand scheme of things, if you have to, you know, spend $500 or $1,000 replacing stuff, like that's a small price to pay for the rest of your life

and being happy and getting out. It's an investment into yourself. Yeah. You should be really excited. Should be really excited after this because it's like, just imagine the life that you can have without this man.

Like he's in the way of you and you're Prince Charming right now. Like there is someone out there that is literally waiting to meet you as you are him. It just this little prick is in the way after you break up with him and then after this episode drops which will be in a couple days you send him the episode nick but also promote the episode let us break up with him Send him the episode and be like, hey, these people would be happy to talk to you if you want to explain yourself. Oh, God.

That's never happening. I'd love to chat with this fellow. Okay, so jump off this call, send that group text, like we said, and we will be following up. Or, or... Everyone will be jumping for joy. Or we could do it now. Oh, no, no, no. Like to my friends?

Yeah, just to your friends yeah yeah just let's get the ball rolling let's get the ball rolling yeah that would make me feel better leaving you on this call okay yeah i can do that all right let's start the breakup proceedings yes yes and also can i just say i'm so proud that you like wrote in like you knew what nick was gonna say you knew he was gonna give you the hard honest truth and the fact that you like wrote in and put yourself like you want to be held accountable you're doing everything in your power you're just really fucking exhausted and so like this is good momentum that you started on your own everyone all my friends said we can't get through to you so hopefully nick by all hey guys just talk to nick we're breaking up yeah

okay i'm ready what are we saying i think you literally just say hey guys so i've made the difficult decision that i'm ready to end things with todd yeah it's going to be extremely difficult and i'm gonna need your guys's help figuring it out yeah navigating this so this is the would love to be able to lean on you for not only the breakup but what comes after yeah i'd be like i'm sending this maybe somewhere like accountability being like i'm sending this text because i know in the past it's been really hard for me to follow through and i know i need to follow through and i would really appreciate if you could help hold me accountable. Okay. Send. Also, whose house will I be staying at? Also, does anyone have a couch for me?

Does anyone have a couch? Yeah. Everyone would be happy. Who can help? Also, who can help me move out while he's at work or gone? Yeah. Like one of the few situations where you can ask your friends to help you move. I have a little team in mind.

Okay. Because I feel like after sending this text message you're like notifying your friends and after this it's like right plan of action get all my stuff out the house you don't need to give him any excuses to why you're leaving i just leave oh yeah you don't you definitely don't need to until you're stronger if you see him in the meantime or if he knows your passcode on your phone i would change that. Email. Don't let him stumble upon any of this and give you a reaction before you're ready. All right. Did you send it?

I know. I know. I have chills. And once you've sent it, can you say? All right. All right. Let's just give it like a minute or two. Can we read through what you've sent just so we have it like fresh in our minds yes i said hey guys so i've made the difficult decision to end things with it's going to be extremely difficult but i'm going to need your help navigating this

and you guys to lean on i'm saying this text because i know it's been hard for me in the past so i need you guys to keep me accountable amazing and you need to believe that believe it feel it and like build trust with yourself like it's something that if that resonates with you like that's something that I feel like I realized out of the blue where it was like oh I feel like I question all my decisions because I I don't trust myself and like for me something that's like really helped with that is in the moment being like I don't have to like something to do it. Like I don't have to want to fold these clothes. Like sometimes, you know, you have that magical burst of motivation. You're like, yeah, I'm going to fold all the clothes on my bed. And like telling myself, like, I don't have to want to do that. I don't have to wait for that.

I can do something that I actively find kind of unpleasant and follow through with it. Like little things like that have been like really big for me in terms of like overall believing myself more and that I can like resist impulses all right well we're proud of you you did the right thing thank you thank you any any responses yet we got clapping hands yay amazing okay please update us we are very invested I will for sure okay I will absolutely congratulations we're proud of you you definitely want an update we want the details we want yeah yes all the stories we're excited to hear about it this is a new beginning for you very excited for you your self-worth is going to climb there are thousands of men out there who don't realize

how excited they are to meet you it's going to be great you're it's going to be super fun thank you guys all right take care all right wish you all the best bye bye what a doozy i have chills saving lives one call at a time yeah for real though there's probably so many women out there that are going through like not the exact same but the same because like there's a a point in one of my relationships where I felt that trapped, where I felt like nothing compared to this guy who was a piece of shit that I put on a pedestal.

So many women do that, but then so, yeah. I think it's pretty, yeah, I've been stuck before. Yeah. Yeah.

Happens both ways. Especially if it's, you know, well, this wasn't her first relationship because usually it's that first one. Yeah. That first love really gets you stuck because yeah you in some of those cases you you you don't know

what it's like to live without them and if they're your first love the idea of being able to love someone the same way you love them regardless of how toxic it might be in reality is a very scary concept with her i think it's a little different i different. I think this regret that she has for this past relationship, she is wearing it like a disease. And that shame of... Well, he's also made her feel like she's worthless with his actions, which has also made her feel like, oh, maybe I am worthless and I won't meet anyone else like him. And she'll probably be replaying those memories of him proposing

and then planning the wedding like what you said everything you and you need to be my counselor my therapist everything that you said to her i was like that that is that sticks i got a book for you it's great i fucking i need to read it because you are a pro you're really aware i love it you're saying uh it's been such a pleasure to talk with you thank you for having me on here thank you where can my audience follow you find you are there any other projects you want to promote put out there

so I have a show coming out on the 15th yeah what's it about so it's a celeb detox show so it's basically about like getting rid of all of your emotional baggage doing loads of extreme therapies where is this can be found so it's gonna be on channel four it is a uk show however i'm sure that it will be shown here somewhere i was at stagecoach i had a couple lovely uk ladies uh

walk up to me who listen to the podcast so i think we have a bit of an audience in the uk not necessarily massive okay you but we're worldwide. Good, yeah. Yeah. So my Instagram is ChloeVeechOfficial and my TikTok is It's Chloe Veech. And it's V-E-I-T-C-H. Love it.

That sounds like a fun show though. What's the difference in your experience between UK reality TV and American reality TV? I think British reality TV is more like straightforward. American reality TV is more like behind the back stab,

walk to the front, smile and wave. You know? With like the producers, like the castmates. I think she means more cast. I think cast, yeah. I mean,

from what I've seen, not on my shows, but like from what I've seen on like Housewives and stuff well i mean i i can't i don't know anything about uk reality tv but i find that a lot of uh reality tv personalities uh that i'm aware of there's a lot of misrepresentation of who they actually are there is did you have any prejudgments of me before i came on? I don't know if you've seen me on anything. I didn't know much about you. I did my homework, but I didn't hear anything bad.

Okay, good. Yeah. Woohoo! Yeah, I find that I don't really care if you're a quote-unquote hero or a villain. I find villains, quote-unquote, to be more interesting people. Yeah. I find that traditionally when it comes to American reality TV The people who are quote unquote villains

Not always They just tends to be more authentic Yeah More real And you know it's very easy to take a snarky quote Or a behavior and slap some music on it And make someone sound like a jerk Or reconsider a route or whatever

It is And I've said this before The more polished someone uh comes across and the more polished they go out of their way to be on social media the more you should doubt their authenticity definitely because what are they hiding you know yeah what you see is not what you specifically polish it's just like if they if it's if their whole brand is clean and polished nice yeah warm and fuzzy yeah yeah they're up to some shit and i've heard all the stories uh chloe it's really been a pleasure thank you so much thank you for coming and good luck the rest of the way we hope

to see more of you on all the any chance to you we could see you on love island no i mean love island i was meant to go on that before Talk to Handle But I chose Too Hot over that So yeah, I'm done with I'm done with dating shows now I'm hosting I'm a hosting queen now Maybe Love is Blind

Thank you guys for listening Don't forget to send in those questions At asknickatthevilefiles.com We have Better date than never Live show, we're talking blowjob at asknick at thevilefiles.com We have... Oh, don't forget. Better date than never, July. Live show.

We're talking blowjob best practices, tips and tricks to give and receive. Do you have any? I wish I was on that. You can. You're welcome to join. It's live. You can do it from your phone.

Do you have an iPhone? Yeah, I do. Yeah. I would use a passion fruit or an orange. Tell more. Get a passion fruit or an orange. Cut a big hole in it. Warm it up with your hands.

Put it over the pain. Oh, it's like the grapefruit technique. Suck the tip and just push it down. Yeah, it's like the grapefruit. And this does what? For who? For him. Well, it gives you less jaw rate because you're not actually doing anything.

Okay. It makes it more exotic. Does it taste more tart? It's very citric. Citric-y? Is that the word? My question is, if you then have sex, we've joked about yeast infections.

Can you just spit on it? Okay. Can't you just take a little time out and just, you know, put some water on it? Can you just spit on it? Get over it. Just put it in. That might sting a bit.

You deal with the consequences afterwards. He said that it didn't actually hurt have you ever done this yeah oh like last month beautiful and how do you pick out the fruit you just buy it the bigger the better it gives you more room depending on the size of the peen you know yeah yeah well well more of this tonight on better date Than Never. Be sure to check it out. Lots of fun to be had. Also, don't forget Vile Files Plus for all your update specials. You're not live. Better Date Than Never is for people who can't listen live.

We have our pop culture roundup every Friday on Vile Files Plus. It's free to sign up. You get a seven-day free trial. No excuses to not enjoy some of the amazing content we have behind Vile Files Plus. We love you all. We'll see you back on Monday. Bye. Bye. Bye.