The Viall Files - E591 Scandoval Insider Brad Kearns Plus VPR Reunion Part 2 Recap

Episode Date: June 1, 2023

Welcome back to The Viall Files: Going Deeper Edition! At the beginning of the episode, we are joined by our Pop Culture Correspondent Natalie Joy to talk about Part 2 of the Vanderpump Season 10 Reunion. Then, we are joined by Brad Kearns, friend of Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix, to get a behind the scenes look into Scandoval. What has it been like at the house once the news broke, what has Tom threatened to take away, and what is Ariana working on next? We also talk Part III of the reunion, to see what Brad thinks the major surprise will be.  “It was right in front of us and we didn’t even know.” Start your 7 Day Free Trial of Viall Files + here: https://viallfiles.supportingcast.fm/  Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to [e-mail] to be a part of our Monday episodes. Join us for our new LIVE show on Thursdays at 9PM ET/6PM PT on Amp, available in the Apple app store. Android User? Listen here: https://www.onamp.com/  To Order Nick’s Book Go To: http://www.viallfiles.com  If you would like to get some texting advice on Office Hours send an email to [e-mail] with “Texting Office Hours” in the subject line! To advertise on the show, contact [e-mail] or visit https://www.advertisecast.com/TheViallFiles  THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: EveryPlate - Get started with EveryPlate for just $1.49 per meal by going to https://www.EveryPlate.com/podcast and entering code viall49. IQ Bar - Now get twenty percent off all IQBAR products, plus get FREE shipping. Just text FILES to 64000.  Shopify - Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at https://www.shopify.com/viall Paramount - Escape into new seasons of the biggest competitions, with the boldest personalities, and the wildest drama. Plus hundreds of previous seasons, all streaming at your fingertips. Paramount Plus. Stream now. Episode Socials: @viallfiles @nickviall @bradxbrad @nnataliejjoy @alison.vandam @liffordthebigreddog @dereklanerussell   

what's going on everybody welcome back to another dramatic episode of the vile files going deeper edition aka vanderpump reunion episode number two recap also dramatic and juicy because we have the scandival insider with us today the one the only brad kerns is with us in studio coming up momentarily uh brad uh he'll get into his relationship with all things vanderpump but he's been a dear dear friend of both uh ariana and sandoval actually met sandoval sounds like he's on sandoval longer but anyways a rich history with the couple and someone who's been by ariana's side since her finding out so we have a wonderful and and very informative conversation with brad and we're excited for you to get to it but before we do we do have the household with us of ali and amanda we're a man down derrick is wrapping up jury duty as we speak

fighting justice fighting crime serving justice fighting justice fighting justice yeah maybe he's like i don't care not going um so uh yeah derrick is uh not with us but um my uh our lovely my lovely fiance and our lovely pop culture correspondent is with us today. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, well, we just watched The Reunion. I feel like you didn't care about that. Oh, no, it was amazing. Thank you. Please, please, by all means, would you like to? Yeah, I would.

Okay. I don't know who that is, but it's a really good impression of someone. I don't either, so if anyone knows please tell me a little halsey to it so yeah we just watched reunion part two i feel like what the consensus is like we didn't really need a part two and maybe that's because part one was so good and we're all anticipating part three with the whatever this big revelation is going to be i personally wanted to see more raquel i guess like is that i feel bad saying that almost as if like but like we just like i want to hear more of what she's got to say yeah yeah we got to see ally she had oh

and by the way sorry obviously for those all of you expecting James and Allie, they were not allowed at this juncture. I think when it comes to certain guests, as much as we want to preview them and have you guys excited, we are going to stop doing that. Especially if we're worried that certain networks might make them unavailable. Make them unavailable. You know, who knows? I'm not saying that's necessarily what happened. We don't know. But anyways, we hope to have James and Allie on at some point.

Sorry that we couldn't make that happen for you. We do feel as though Brad is a more than adequate. He gives. He gives a replacement to James and Allie. Quite honestly, I feel like, right, you know, with all things Scandival, it's in understandably so. We might have expected James and Allie to might not want it with all things Scandival, it's in understandably so we might have expected James and Ellie might not want it to might be Scandival

doubt. And so as much as we would have liked to have James and Ellie on again, we are very grateful for Brad in his time. Any big takeaways Allie, Amanda or Natalie with the reunion? Like what any? I mean, I think they were really

just trying to also give the other castmates a chance to like talk about their lives and like what they are going through. So we had Ali and James Lala talked about the Randall situation. And did you guys watch

when I say you guys, Ali and Amanda, did you guys watch the Randall Emmett documentary? I haven't seen it. Would you recommend it? I mean, if you're watching Scandival, if you're watching Vanderpump, Did you guys watch the Randall Emmett documentary on Hulu? I haven't seen it. Would you recommend it? I mean, if you're watching Scandival, if you're watching Vanderpump, yeah.

It's an easy watch. I believe it's just like one episode, unless there's a part two dropping sometime soon. I don't know. But it's a very unflattering depiction of Randall Emmett. I actually met him once a long time ago. Yeah. of, of Randall Emmett. I actually met him once a long time ago. Um, yeah, but he could not come across as more of a disgusting, unattractive person. And every way that you can imagine on the show,

it makes you kind of wonder why anyone would be open or entertain an advancement from, from him. Well, I'm interested to see, I believe there must be a part two that comes out because Lala did not talk at all in this. It was like her mom and her brother, Ariana's brother commented on the reel, the teaser. Brad's teaser?

Yeah. Oh, I didn't know. Yeah, he said, Jeremyeremy he said uh tom has been a douche way longer than a year or something like that oh okay anyways love that um but we should have him on yeah but i would find it interesting to hear lala talk and maybe she does in the second episode it makes the question like how does he make people feel special because clearly he made lala feel really special in a way that caused her to like overlook a lot of things. Well, I will say in that episode, her mom and brother did talk about how when Lala's father passed, Randall really stepped up and like took care of her family.

Yeah, but that was after they were in a relationship. Sure. But if he showed those types of qualities, maybe he showed that quality in other areas i don't know i just everything about that documentary it's just like i know people like randall he is a someone who truly reeks of insecurity and is this a small person in every sense of the world word i mean not that i like you know, he just seems like everything is small on him, just truly everything. And he's a walking projection of his insecurity is my read on him. I feel like that's a perfect segue to like Tom Sandoval in the reunion part two. Like, what did you guys make of the part where he was trying to get Raquel, talk to Raquel off camera to clearly like align their stories and, like, was getting

all mad at production. Like... I think, obviously, I think everyone watching is gonna think that and I'm sure it's true. At the same time, I don't think it's, like,

that big of a deal. I mean... I mean, I think he just honestly wanted to, like, be able to talk shit and, like, say stuff without, obviously, a fucking camera there.

Yeah, he just... He probably wanted to make out a little bit and, like, I know something nasty yeah it was just kind of i mean it was fascinating just to see him argue with the producer he's like no you're not understanding what i'm saying and like the it's like the producers they get like well no i am you're not understanding this is a tv show we're here if you talk to any of your cast mates we're gonna record it this is how it works if you want to and then tom's like i need a break i need a break and the guy's just like take a break you just can't take a break with someone you're on the show with

because we're gonna record that it's like tom swartz from last week you can be friends with katie if if you're willing to follow certain rules and if not don't be your friend and if you can take a break if you want you just can't take the break that you want to take a break. I was really glad they showed that because I think there I would have had all of these questions about like, how are they communicating with Tom at this point? Like, what is the power dynamic like of obviously like Tom's a colossal piece of shit. Everyone's united against him. That being said, you need the villain for the story, so to speak. So it's like, how was production like navigating that delicate balance of having to like stroke his ego enough to have him participate while also like he's not entirely stupid potentially so like that so i thought it

was very cool to like see like that side of things like how he talks to production you know like how that how what their relationship is like now that everything has happened. It's a lot of relationship massaging, you know, and they're there to work. I mean, you know, Tom is there to work. I don't think there was a world in which Tom wouldn't have shown up. He might've been contractually obligated. Like for him not to show up, I wonder if he would have been susceptible to some sort of

legal action. You know, for example,, almost every single person who goes on The Bachelor technically is in violation of the contract they signed. Literally everyone. The show has sued a couple of people. They also haven't sued their leads because that's a PR nightmare per se. And so just because a network has the right to sue someone, they often don't because of the optics and how that looks and things like that. But yeah, I guess interesting to see. Allie, what were your gut reaction, big takeaways from the reunion part two?

I was shocked that the first one was so good and had so much juice to it. But I guess that's smart. Maybe that's what it is. If you have a three-parter, you get people in the first one. They're automatically going to tune in for the second one. Now you've been teasing us with the secret. The whole conversation between like James and the Toms. About the alcohol?

Yeah. Like Tom Sandoval really has been like cover for everyone else because those were some fairly serious accusations thrown in James's direction. James and kind of everyone was just like yeah we don't fucking care tom sandoval is a lying cheater piece of shit tom sandoval is all those things but i hate to say that like you know the the drinking how you react to anything matters. And so, yeah, I don't know how that necessarily... James is really protected by Tom Sandoval, I guess, is what I'm saying. But yeah, those are some fairly... Serious claims.

Serious claims. We're very much glossed over and brushed past. And it was just like, that's not really a concern right now, which was a bit surprising. Nice to see that James is in therapy. I hope he sticks with it. Allie's a delight. Yeah, I like Allie a lot. She seems very grounded.

She really grew on me over this season. She's much older than I anticipated, and the more you hear from her, I think kind of like Charlie, too. I think having met Charlie, and we met Allie briefly at Van or Aunt Lisa's event, it made me want to see more of them. I hope we get to see more of Allie and Charlie on next season. I think they are. I think they're strong characters. I'm sure that had to be intimidating for Allie to to like walk into. And it's, you know, all of them. And this is something they've done for years. And tensions are high. And for her to just like walk in never doing any of this stuff before, I think she handled herself very well. And you could tell the other women really liked her, which I thought was a huge data point of like how I think throughout the season we could see like

Lala and Sheena being like, no, like I like her. Like I'm not just saying this as a pleasantry. Like I genuinely think she has a good head on her shoulders. And I felt like that like body language is also present. And so it was like nice to see this group be like warm and welcoming. I also like that Lala showed a little humility this episode i mean she she's obviously very entertaining to watch she has some amazing one-liners she can be sharp with her tongue so to speak and and someone who obviously has made mistakes in the past you know when ally when they asked ali that question if you thought like lala was overstepping and i think lala has a self-awareness to know that she can be intimidating and for her to very kind of graciously kind of say like you can say yes so to speak

yeah you could tell and then even though ali was also very nice about it you know she like empathized with lala about like understanding why it came across that way. Lala was still quick to recognize that it was a very sensitive time for her. She's going through a lot, which I think as far as Lala is concerned, she can be harsh. And I think at times, I think she's opened herself up for claims of hypocrisy. But at the same time, she clearly is someone who will admit fault. And even when she was on our show, talked about her mistakes and things like that. And she really seems like someone who has made the efforts to make changes in her life and take accountability and specifically around her sobriety obviously and it sounds like that played a huge role in in a lot of the stakes that she had so like i think she's just a great demonstration of someone who has worked on himself it's just really refreshing to see and i think i'm not like a student of the show but just watching this season, you know, whether it's Swartz or Sandoval, there just doesn't seem to be a lot of growth.

Even James mentioning he was 21 again. You know, I was 21. Yeah, of course. You can never not bring that up. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think part of it has to do with like this Peter Pan syndrome they all have going of like how they can constantly just be like dating younger people and how they're like they're all still kind of like drinking and partying and going out constantly like as like Ariana, you know, in discussing Sandoval and the state of their relationship. Like I think a big part of it was that Tom Sandoval was constantly like out partying, getting fucked up, whereas like the women, I think, have like kind of graduated from that era of life.

And it just feels like the men have never really been forced to in the same way. I mean, I think he even said that in their conversation about their relationship, you know, before all of this broke. And he just was like, the whole quality time thing. She's like, I don't want to go out and get drunk. But I do. On stimulation. I would do mushrooms and watch the sunrise while hang gliding.

It was interesting when Annie was talking to Raquel, because at first Raquel very much sounded like she was blaming Ariana. That was disgusting. But the more she talked, it was like in a weird way. She was being honest because she was talking about Sandoval and her plan before Ariana found out and acknowledging that it was really bizarre talking about how she was like, yeah,ana didn't want to know do we believe that rachel raquel actually thought that or is that an excuse that she is spinning now i mean i'm sure if she has tom sandoval being like listen like she she wouldn't want to know she doesn't

want to know like she's got all this stuff going on like this is the last thing she needs to hear right now like we should you know like she just doesn't care like i'm sure raquel was like oh yeah that makes sense okay i guess but do you think she actually i mean this is all supposedly again a best friend of hers that she hung out with she should know ariana and whether she would care or not i don't know but we were right in the instance of her when she finally got to talk to tom sandoval in between their on their lunch break or whatever and we were right about all of the stuff the their intimacy and how tom sandoval was definitely telling her that they weren't intimate and they weren't you know had a great relationship and she's like that was really difficult to hear

that like y'all's relationship was like doing pretty well. When Raquel was talking about it, she was like, I feel like Ariana wanted to keep the relationship going because you didn't break up with her. And it's like, yeah, there it is. When they think they're in a relationship, they generally want to keep it going. And if they don't, they actually will let you know.

There is something really haunting about watching Raquel watch all of them talking while Sheena was on stage. Just her reactions in general. Her reactions in general. And I don't know. I'm sure she was incredibly sleep deprived. Like, I'm sure this is the lowest point in her life. She's getting bombarded with, like, horrific DMs. Like, not saying she didn't do something very bad, but, like to kind of contextualize emotionally like where she's coming from.

Like I can imagine her being like just like the most like burned out shell of herself she's ever been. Nevertheless, it felt like the lights were on, but nobody was home. Like sometimes she would just nod and it just felt like there was kind of like an emptiness there that made me so concerned about like kind of this like cognitive state of this woman. It was just like a body and no one was home. Yeah. And then occasionally she would react like in little moments where it like seemed like she was going to get validated or like she would have little moments of like where she would like pout a little bit. But like

for when they were talking about like the real emotional havoc that she has wreaked it was a lot of like. She's watching her best friend sob cry about like the stuff that Raquel has done to her that has like caused her baby to hyperventilate because she's watching her mom have this breakdown and she has no reaction whatsoever. And that was your best friend. You know, maybe if you could argue that Rachel was just kind of disconnected and sucked into the love affair that Tom or believing Tom just in denial. Right. And then once she got found out, it's like, holy shit, I really fucked up.

You know, this is really kind of coming to a head. You would think that she would just be like, you know what? I was so wrong. You know, I'm just going to sit there and take my beating. I'm just going to let whatever people want to say, specifically Ariana, say what they have to say. And if you want to say anything at all, talk about how the work you want to do and the efforts you want to make to not do it again and never make any excuses by bringing up

other people or other people's actions. And yeah, there just seems to be that just lack of deep remorse i don't like feel it in their bones their remorse i just it's i just don't feel it raquel should play poker for real like i've she should like blankest face i've ever fucking seen and it's shocking giving like the circumstances of yeah just how much remorse should be on the table and i feel like we saw tom start to get there like i feel like the end of like the third part is gonna leave me feeling really sad because i think it's gonna be tom like genuinely crying and starting to like scratch the tip of the iceberg of like all of the pain he's caused i don't think he cares i really don't i think he is sorry this is happening to him. Because if he's truly sorry,

if he truly understands, he wouldn't be doing what he's doing. And we get into it this episode with Brad, but if you go back and watch the episode at season two reunion when Tom was cheating on Kristen, the parallels between the excuses and the justifications between his actions are so identical. Ten years earlier, he can come across as a great friend as long as his well-being or his fun or the things that he wants aren't in conflict. But the moment he has to make a sacrifice or he or things, you know, come in conflict with his immediate needs, you can't count on Tom. I feel like we got a teeny little glimpse of that, of like how protective Sandoval is over the people that he cares about and like himself first and foremost.

But when Schwartz whipped out his pill bottle and then everyone was like, what is it? Like, you know, everyone's guns a blazing. It's the reunion. Tensions are high. And everyone's like, what is that? And like sandoval was like you can just say it's your medication which is like i think good friend advice like that's what i would say to a friend i would be like you don't owe them like this like you can just say although it is odd when cameras are rolling and a reunion is being filmed and he's also like offering them up to

anyone else you know it's like anyone else of those. He's always trying to diffuse an awkward situation. Can we talk about the 10-hour pause that Sandoval gave when asked about if Sheena punched Raquel? I was convinced that there was a mic issue. He had to think about that for so long. Now, what do you think is the truth? I, of course, believe that she didn't. I don't trust anything that Sandoval has to say. And I do think he will do anything to protect Raquel.

And like if he says it didn't happen, then like Raquel's a liar and like she could be sued for defamation. You know, what the fuck ever. So I do think his priority is to protect Raquel. But just like there are a few like tiny little like glimmers of him like looking genuinely like I really fucked up. Like with Sheena in a way that he has like never been with Ariana and it kind of makes you wonder like do you think he treats his friends better than his partners well I think that's with both the times I think that's yeah evident that I think they just have a history of of taking their partners for granted whether it's Sandoval or sworge i think it seems like they take boundaries and expectations as light suggestions yeah but or just an offense like they're offended

by it and then they become the bad guy in their mind because like all these other friends or all these other people they have in their life don't like ever give them a hard time and never stop them for doing they never like dim their shine or whatever and like and then so ariana and katie become the bad guys in their mind and they can't seem to understand where ariana and katie are coming from because they just simply just don't want to have to be told no really Once Tom decides he needs something, he will justify it to the moon. I agree with you. Well, we have so much more Vanderpump to get into with Brad. I hope you have

your seatbelts on wherever you are. It's going to be a wild, wild ride. Don't forget that we have another episode of Better Date Than Never live tonight at 9pm Eastern, so be sure to check that out. It is a wild and wacky show where so many people are just making friends and talking about sex and dating and all those crazy things. We have...

It's like that stuff that you would kind of feel like a creep for bringing up around your friend, but you might have like a lingering question or like be like, oh, I kind of want someone's take on this. Like that's what we talk about on Better Date Than Never. Tonight, we're talking about period sex. Like it really is like an unabashed, like, go in, talk about the stuff that, like, it can be really uncomfortable or challenging to talk about with sex and dating. Oh, we have a licensed therapist tonight on Better Date Than Never.

So be sure to sign up and come on in. Also, for all you update fans out there, we have another update special dropping behind Vile Files Plus this Friday, tomorrow. So if you haven't signed up for Vile Files Plus this Friday tomorrow. So if you haven't signed up for Vile Files Plus yet, you are totally missing out. We have a ton of updates from all things Ask Nick, texting office hours, don't sweat the wedding, all those callers.

We have an amazing texting office hour this episode with Brad. Very on the nose with what we are talking about with Scandival. We are very interested in what you have to say about what's going on with this caller. Excited for you all to hear that. All right. Well, it's time for your Scandival Insider, Brad Kearns. Something I get so frustrated by is when I go to the grocery store and I buy all of these fresh ingredients. And then for some recipes, it's like you only need part of one. And then I end up

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Text FILEES to 64000. Brad. Hi. Welcome. Thank you. How's your heart, Brad? It heavy it's heavy it's heavy it's still heavy yeah i would imagine it's been uh it's been an interesting challenging disheartening couple of months yeah so let's i was just uh i was excited when we we you reached out to us

you dm the Vile Files Instagram and I just want to say first and foremost, Brad, thank you. Thank you for thinking of us. I know that you you've been in high demand these past few weeks. People have reached out to you, wanted to get you on their couch or on their

chair and you so graciously thought of us. We just want to say thank you. You're welcome. You have been living with Ariana and Tom? No, not living with. Staying with. I will stay and help the dogs.

Gotcha. I mean, when this all broke, a close group of Ariana's friends created a spreadsheet, and we did we we took you know turns staying different nights with her making sure that she wasn't alone in the house okay um but no i don't live with them gotcha but you've been spending a lot of time oh yeah absolutely gotcha yeah at the house yeah and you've been you're like what i i like to call you're the insider yeah yeah yeah you've had the firsthand accounts because when Ariana was talking about,

uh, at, well, an episode, one of the reunion about how Tom has been there. Yeah. And Ariana is, is having her friends there to support her.

Well, Tom's been yelling at people. Yeah. You're one of the people. Oh yeah. Tom has been yelling at. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've, i've survived it yes yeah uh so you have a very interesting perspective of this whole situation yeah yeah yeah i another reason why i'm excited to have you on is because i feel like

it's people like you that have like the real scoop oh yeah we had We had Charlie on here and Charlie was amazing. I was so glad we had Charlie on. It was as if Charlie has obviously been a part of this situation. She's been a part of the show and it was as if no one's ever said, Charlie, what do you think? Yeah. And she sat down here and just was so generous with,

she had so many thoughts. Sure. And I feel like it was like, well, we got to ask more people like Charlielie more people like brad who who are involved in this story who are everyday life with them yeah yeah so again thank you for making yourself available to us yeah absolutely i'm happy to be here um i guess i'll just turn it over to you where do you think is a good place to start with all the wealth of knowledge that you have when it comes to this story? Like where maybe-

Should we start with like how you know Ariana? Like how did that friendship begin? Thank you. Yeah. That's the great way to start. What is your history with Ariana and Tom? Well, my history with this group started probably 11 and a half years ago. I originally met Tom, Tom, Jack, Stassi, Katie, and Kristen. We met at Coachella. Just a random, like, we were walking by, talking to each other.

Kristen commented on a t-shirt that I was wearing. We ended up taking a picture. And then I didn't see him again. And a week later, I ran into Tom at a restaurant. We just got to chatting and became friends with them. He was obviously with Kristen at the time. Gotcha. Schwartz.

I mean, Sandoval. Sandoval, yeah. Tom Sandoval. Why do both their names have to start with s's yeah i know um yeah i just i began to become really good friends with tom and kristen while they were together um starting to become really good friends with sheena and you know the rest of the crew um went through a breakup with Tom and Kristen, which Kristen and I joked this time is like I'm one of the lone people that have seen this kind of same situation twice.

Wow, yeah. Which has been interesting. We, for preparation purposes, went back and watched the season two reunion. The narrative. Yeah, and we did that last night because the parallels are eerie. Crazy.

I mean, listen, the Kristen and Sandoval breakup was a mess. And it just can't be compared to what's going on with Ariana because everyone's just fucking everyone back then. I mean, it was just messy all the way around. But what was so eerie is hearing Tom speak about his logic. Yeah. And his logic when talking at the season two reunion, which was how many years ago, Brad? That was probably nine years ago. Nine years ago.

And Tom, he said, listen, I was over this relationship. We were done. We weren't having sex. And it was just like- It's the same. She was annoyed by relationship. We were done. We weren't having sex. And it was just like, it's the same. She was annoyed by me. Like the same playbook, right? The exact same playbook,

which is basically like Tom Sandoval flat out just saying, listen, it doesn't matter if we're in a relationship. Doesn't matter what parameters we have or whatever understanding. If I have decided that emotionally, I am no longer invest in this relationship i'm going to start fucking other people right yeah and that i mean that's the the narrative that's what happened back then um i helped kristen move out i maintained a friendship with both of them um and when ariana got brought into the group ariana clicked right away and we have been you know best friends ever since wow wow so obviously this was a

big surprise to ariana yeah as someone who's been friends with everyone um once you found out was there any kind of like holy shit kind of aha moments of like looking back and thinking about all the times you know sandoval and raquel or rachel or whatever the fuck we're calling her uh we're hanging out like we're did you have those experiences it's such a crazy time i remember processing it ariana spoke to me wednesday night right after she found out. And, you know, first and foremost, we wanted to be there and take care of her, especially me. You know, make sure her feelings are validated and she's feeling loved. But when I started to process it, it was such a weird thing because we didn't see it coming. Our friend group is so close that if one guy and another girl go off and they dance together in front of everyone it's not weird

you know like our friendships were all very deep and close so you know looking back on it now now that we know that there was a connection there it's interesting but i never thought it was further than it was so it was the opposite of lala because i feel like lala was like oh i see this i know this is happening there's something sketchy going on. And then you were like, well, the interesting thing about that is, you know, I love Lala. I love Katie. They're all friends of ours. But I think Ariana said it recently, too, in a podcast. They're not in our inner circle.

If Ariana has a day to day issue, if something's going on with her family, if she's upset, if she's excited, there's a close circle of our friends that she speaks to first. They're not in the group text. Ariana. Yes. Who is that group? That would be me. That's Logan.

It's Meredith. I would say it's like us three, first and foremost, that get the news. We talk to her. We live a day-to-day life with her. Gotcha. And it's not that Katie and Lala aren't in our circle and aren't in our friends, but I think it's just easier for people that aren't in your everyday circle around these people every day to maybe catch and observe those things that they think are weird because we're living in it and it's not weird to us.

That makes sense. Yeah. And yeah. And so I think you're just saying that that closest the group had maybe caused you and other people of this group to maybe kind of overlook certain behaviors. And it's interesting that you articulate it that way. Just watching it this season, there was a moment where even Brock and Ariana were dancing at a party. Yeah.

And I think Brock had his arms around her. And again, everyone's friendships are different, but I just remember watching that and being, that's a close friend. know like i mean there's a closeness there but not but with certain friends that's totally normal totally platonic like there's no weirdness whatever so i could see from your standpoint that if there was a level of intimacy from a platonic standpoint with this group where like as you said people could dance people could go off into a corner and have a chat i mean shit one of my best friends from high school him and

his you know his wife yeah we'd get lunch and coffee all the time and hang out she is a hairdresser and so much that like people outside of our group wondered if we were dating and they're they're married you know and so yeah i can see how and they're, they're married, you know? And so, yeah, I can see how that, I think that's just the differentiation, you know, they,

they're in our circle, but they're not with us every day. And, you know, they're not going to music festivals, taking trips, like all these things when cameras aren't on. Gotcha. So,

you know, anyone who might be suggesting it's like, how could Ariana not know and, and shit like that. Right. Would it be safe to say that Sandoval took advantage of that level of trust that the group had in terms of how Tom Sandoval took advantage of the closeness that was this group to kind of hide what he was doing?

You know, initially I kind of thought that I'm torn because i go back and i think of the times that we all did hang out and it felt like that now when you look back at it but i don't know sometimes it was just right in front of us and we didn't even know i i spent valentine's day dinner with raquel ariana and tom and tom opened up a bottle of wine that he got on their first Napa trip. So it's the four of you. Yeah. Set the stage, Brad. Yeah.

Set the stage. So I originally had different- Oh, Ariana. Yeah. I can't count. Brad. Raquel and Tom. Raquel and Tom.

And eventually, about an hour into dinner, Schwartz came too. Okay. All right, set the stage. Where are you? So I originally had different Valentine's Day plans. Last minute, they kind of changed. Ariana hit me up the morning of and said like, the stage where are you so i originally had different valentine's day plans um last minute they kind of changed ariana hit me up the morning of and said like hey tom and i are going to

shorts and sandys for a valentine's day dinner because they don't usually celebrate on valentine's day just because of the nature of everything they usually do something special on a different day okay um but they were going to go to dinner that night she's like why don't you come with us and at first i was like i don't want a third wheel on valentine's day and she's like no it's not like that come in have dinner so i said okay let's do that um about an hour later raquel hit me up and asked me what i was doing i said i'm going to dinner with tom and ariana and she's like i'm gonna come with you guys and so we all went um we go to dinner tom brought a bottle of wine that him and ariana got on his their first napa trip excuse me um brought it out talked about the bottle i mean i have a video of tom explaining it and i

cut to ariana and she just looks so happy and do you have that video i do i have a lot of videos from that night so are you able to put it up yeah i mean my mean, my phone's in there, but I can get it for you. This is Castillo Amorosa from Napa Valley. Ariana and I got this from our very first trip to Napa Valley. Oh, she's stunning. Yeah. Oh, my God. And then do we want to see the other video? Yeah.

If you want. It makes me cringe. Oh. It's just the three of us. Oh, okay. It's just cringe. I don't know if you can see it there. She is wearing the necklace?

She always wore it, yeah. Did anyone pick up on that? Was anyone like, oh, that's the same as Tom? Nobody picked up on that because it was a different brand. But the one that Tom has is I don't know if you know Kyle Chan. He's a jeweler to a lot of Bravo people.

OK, so sometimes like this, the necklace I'm wearing is his. He's getting free promo right here. But so many of us have this exact same necklace. So wasn't Kyleyle chan the event that they went to as a double date and that's why they were late to the something about her tasting because they went with joe and raquel to a kyle chan event yeah they were over there first yeah what was that who's they um tom raquel tom and joe went to kyle chan had an invite and in sorry an event the evening that we had a sandwich shop. Yeah, and Joe is Tom Swartz's

new roommate slash I don't know where they stand right now to be honest. They don't live together anymore. But he did say I love you on the show and it sounded intimate. To my knowledge, because we kind of all cut ties with her early on, she was only there

for a short while. From my understanding is that she was there for literally like a week or two waiting for her place to get ready okay wait when you say you cut ties with her early on like was there any kind of like context or history around that when i met her her energy just seemed off to me um she was she's a lot of energy and i just didn't vibe with her like at the time I was like You know she's a nice girl But she's just not my vibe Okay

Yeah So back to Valentine's Day Yeah Alright So Tom presents the bottle We drink We start to have dinner Um

Schwartz eventually shows up Uh Joe actually came in that night A little bit later after him too So now Valentine's Date Dinner Is now just

The group hanging out Yeah Okay Yeah It started with the four of us And then Schwartz And then Joe eventually showed up Okay So now Valentine's date dinner is now just the group hanging out. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. It started with the four of us and then Schwartz and then Joe eventually showed up as well. Schwartz and Sandy. And then on that particular dinner, like what was the vibe? I mean.

I mean, it was, it was fun. It was lighthearted. I mean, Tom and Ariana sat next to each other. Raquel and I sat next to each other. We just ate dinner and talked about like what we were doing for the week and making plans that was like a month before it was like two weeks before because they found out early march yeah we found out ariana found out march 1st called a couple of us um and then the world found out what was that phone call like when you got a call from ariana

well first it was a text um to kind of preface it tom was that phone call like when you got a call from Ariana? Well, at first it was a text to kind of preface it. Tom was doing a show that night and a release of one of his new singles with his cover band. And I had a movie premiere, so I wasn't able to make it on time, but I got home at about 9.15, 9.30 and I text Ariana quick and

just said like, hey, I'm going to change. Are we actually going to stay at Tom Tom's Schwartz and Sandy's? I live in the hills. It's five minutes from me. So I was like, am I going to come all the way to Schwartz and Sandy's just to get in the car and turn around back? And about 10 minutes later, she texted me and said, we're leaving, hit you up in a second. And I was like, oh, okay. Early night, whatever. And then she just initially texted me. I'm in a Uber with Tom. And then she just initially texted me. I'm in a Uber with Tom.

And I just found what she found on his phone. And she said, I just got off the phone with Raquel. She confirmed that they've been having an affair. So at first I thought she was joking. Well, at first when she said I found a video of her and Tom, I was like, why does Tom have that on his phone? Because I thought she was talking about shorts. And they were just basically like sexting FaceTime, yeah?

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I haven't seen the video. Nobody has it anymore. But yeah, it didn't sound good. But I initially, like I said, I thought she was talking about shorts. And I was like, why does Tom have that on his phone? That's disgusting.

Yeah. And she's like, it's my Tom. So she talked to raquel yeah she has she and they they said that too i mean um because raquel and sheena were in new york doing watch what happens live yeah yeah um and they'd already taped obviously with the time difference and so on um so ariana called raquel and basically said like if you've ever had any respect for me or women in general, you just need to come clean and tell me if something happened. And I think from what I remember,

she touched on some light things like they'd kissed and this. Yeah. So she tried to deny. Downplay it. I don't think she denied it because obviously I wasn't on the phone or there at the moment.

But what I was told is that she said it started with a kiss, but then ultimately in the conversation, she said it led led to they've been having like a seven eight month affair so wow yeah so and the moments that followed that like what was what was well i asked ariana i said what what's your plan right now and she said tom and i are in an uber we're going home i'm making him tell me everything i said okay and she said just stay by your phone and i said yeah if you need to come to my house if you need someone to come over there let me know and she checked in with me like every 20 minutes um but they were up discussing this

until probably 6 a.m so then how long after they had that initial conversation did cameras come in and record so we found out wednesday night she let obviously um the showrunner and producers know and then cameras are up on friday morning so i had gotten a call on thursday early morning that just said like hey cameras are up can you come film with ariana tomorrow so wow they announced that they were going to just pick back up quick for like two weeks what were some conversations that you had with Ariana? Are you in the gang, you know,

in terms of the moments that followed her realizing what happened, obviously, I mean, I'm sure at first just, there's this so many things that unbelievable, the hurt and the pain. At what point did, do you feel like what conversations y'all have

with ariana you know because she's thriving now right oh ariana's queen i think she you know she's gone through these stages of grief that she's talked about she's like literally america's sweetheart yeah she's getting all these amazing opportunities and we love that. At what point do you feel like Ariana kind of had a, you know what? Fuck this guy. Fuck this. This is going to be the best thing that's ever happened to me. When do you feel like she started realizing that Tom Sandoval wasn't worth an ounce of her sadness and started realizing, you know what? This is going to be groundbreaking for me and I'm going to thrive and rise like a phoenix

from the ashes, so to speak. Yeah. Well, you know, I mean, seeing your friend go through something like this, I think, you know, not speaking for her, there's always going to be moments, even when you are feeling great about it, you know, eventually that you still probably linger in the anger and the hurt. Um, I think for her, she processed it. She handled it amazingly well. You know, obviously she went through the motions that everyone would expect of hurt and anger, but then I think she just started to become feeling indifferent towards him, which really kind of helped her process it and move along. In the first month, like I said,

we were on rotation. We stayed with her. Obviously, anyone that goes through a breakup, but now publicly is going to feel drained. She doesn't know how to feel. We want to make sure she was eating, make sure she was sleeping, make sure she felt loved but i think for her you know it was a process of being around friends um and taking time for herself um i don't know if there was like a day where it just kind of flipped a switch but i think internally when she started to become more indifferent towards him and and realize like what this is going to do for her um emotionally in a better way like she's going to be so much off in a better place yeah i think it just started to kind of click for her and then everything started to happen in a really big way for her yeah so you've i mean you you were friends with sandoval before you met ariana and you've been friends

with them this whole time i mean what is your read on this situation? As a friend of Tom, I've never met Sandoval. I've met Ariana a few times, so I really have nothing good to say about Sandoval, but I've never met the guy. And so I'm kind of jumping on the fuck Sandoval bandwagon. There's so many reasons to not like the guy. Join in. Welcome. There's so many reasons to like, not, not like the guy.

Yeah. Welcome. It's fun here. I am. Yeah. But I am curious from like someone from your perspective who, who has been friends with this guy leading all the way up until this situation. Obviously these are,

you know, the internet loves to react and the internet always kind of takes the most aggressive stance. Right. But there's clearly been a lot of, of strong language, uh, being thrown at Tom Sandoval,

even Lala, you know, narcissist and things like that. But I'm curious from just like an objective friend who clearly has taken the side of Ariana and rightfully so that being said, you've been friends with Tom, you know, and I'm assuming you've seen qualities in him that made you want to be friends with this guy.

And so could you just help us understand how you're processing this as someone who's been friends with them? And, you know, what are qualities of Sandoval that made you surprised by this? Like, or what was it like to have this come out? How do you see Tom now versus how you saw him in the past? Can you just kind of shed the light? Yeah, absolutely. Because I think everyone now just has this like, he's the devil, he's the worst. How could anyone ever talk to him? It's so obvious. But life is, it's not that simple in reality. And could you shed some insight on that?

I mean, Tom was my intro to this friend group, you know, that he was one of the first ones I met, although they were in a group and he really, you know, kind of wrangled me in, put his arm around me and introduced me to all of these people that have become some of my greatest friends, you know, for me processing this, you know, I don't know how often in life you have a couple in your life that you are equally as close to both of them. I've been through breakups with friends breaking up before, and there was always someone that I leaned naturally towards to anyways. With Tom, processing this for me was making sure Ariana was good. And then I had to

process that I lost two friends, Tom and Raquel, because Raquel was a friend of mine as well. And I look back over the 11 and a half years, probably 10 and a half, 11 realistically of my friendship with him. And Tom was a good person. He was kind, he was caring, He treated people like family, wanted everyone to be included and to feel welcome. And I think looking at him in the last probably year, there was a change in him. And I think that's what I don't like anymore. I don't look back and think, for 11 years, this guy was phony and fake. We all had amazing, great times together. But I think something in his personal life and his turning 40, whatever you want to call it, just sent him on a different path.

And unfortunately, that's what the world gets to see now because he publicly did some horrible things. And that's what's defining him. We saw Tom and Sandoval and sheena have that kind of conversation since they were such great friends and she was like we'll never be friends again did you and tom have no um initially so i found out on wednesday the first um tom did reach out to me on friday the third in the evening, we had filmed all day. Not with Tom. I was with Ariana and Sheena and Katie. We took Ariana out to a concert just to get her mind away for a second.

Sure. We'd been in the house for three days and she wasn't doing so great. So we wanted to kind of liven her up. And Tom texted me that night and it kind of came more of a place of anger. He kind of came at me and was talking about you know i've known him forever why am i doing him like this you know so on and so forth we have those texts no my phone got stolen i it couldn't have been the worst time my phone got stolen like um two three weeks before we went to coachella and so my iCloud like didn't back up

everything and that's okay anyways but you remember the text yeah I mean he just kind of like initially he kind of came at me and said you know like Ariana got rough with him when she found out and I shouldn't be supporting that and you know what's going through my mind is like Ariana just found out that her partner of just over nine years had an eight-month affair. You're kind of lucky she didn't run you over with her car. So immediately, Sandoval started going into how he's the victim. Oh, Tom has played victim since the beginning.

I mean, the night that Ariana found out and her and Tom had a conversation, he yelled at her. He blamed her for everything. Everything was her fault, why this has happened. So have you seen him be remorseful in any aspect? Besides on the reunion when he started crying? Yeah, I don't know. That's the only time I've seen him cry about it. I've passed him in the house very infrequently. Luckily, I mean, I don't know if it's a lucky situation, but since they are still sharing the house, she's been gone a lot for work. He's been gone a lot with his band.

If there is any crossover, he still has an assistant and Meredith talks to both of them to kind of coordinate that they don't see each other. But it has happened. I mean, there was one evening where Ariana and i just went out for a drink we got back it was like 1 45 in the morning we came in and tom was in the kitchen and we kind of went into the living room and tom just kind of started in and said like you can't be having parties at the house there's a curfew i have things to do in the morning and it got a little heated and it was interesting for me to see because and so so it's just you, Ariana. Just Ariana and I at that time.

Okay. And Tom. And, you know, to call this a party, like there's no music on. There's no TV on. We're sitting on the couch. First of all. And it happened multiple times. It's like a little wine sip like you get at church.

Yeah. Yeah. It was just interesting. And, you know, Ariana even made that comment and said, if Brad comes over and stays with me, we're going to watch TV. And Tom made the comment that he bought the TV and he'll take it off the wall if he hears it in the guest room. So it's just really interesting behavior. Straight petty.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Very much so. And it's interesting. In the unseen footage, I think it aired last week, Tom showed Rachel a video of all the cars at his house blocking his driveway because there was a party. And it was just everyone coming to support Ariana.

Like our friend is hurting, you know, she's not sleeping. She wasn't eating. And we're all over there our friend janet made a big thing of food like french onion soup and we're all comforting her like we have a music video on to like cheer her up but this is not a party it's well if it is it's fucking tom sandoval's party yeah that he set up yeah it's it's a party surprise party he threw for ariana through a surprise your best friend yeah and he's the reason for the party yeah and i have to say like seeing that unseen footage though when he says like oh ariana never lets me have parties it's such a weird thing

to hear because they bought that house four and a half, five years ago. I was at many, many parties at that house. So I don't know where this narrative is coming from. It's just really interesting to me. It's disheartening that a friend of mine, obviously Ariana is the one in pain here, but to see my friend create a different narrative of their relationship, of things that were going on, it was kind of hard to swallow.

In that instance of pettiness and Tom clearly feeling like he has no power and desperately finding ways to get power, have there been other examples or ways that you've kind of felt like he's been trying

to claw his way back to some kind of standing? I think it's just capitalizing on the narrative that he believes to be true um there hasn't been a lot of i don't think petty instances like the tv situation but you know the one podcast that he did and hearing him talk on that and even just like seeing things play out um on the episodes you know, what he's speaking to. It's just not the narrative that as a close friend that I even saw, you know, and it's, I've been asked that a million times. They said, you know, Ariana said it was this way. Tom said it was this way. And as someone that was with

them sometimes five days a week and on trips, I did not see the narrative that he is speaking about. And just to, for anyone, I mean, i'm assuming most people listen to this are all well versed but the narrative that tom's speaking about this is ariana can you yeah i mean he has kind of presented that they were glorified roommates um that their relationship was not what it was granted i'm not in the bedroom with them so i can't speak to anything like that yeah but every relationship has issues yeah exactly there might be a couple weeks where you're just like hey we're just not yeah i saw them five years they have been basically roommates yeah but it's not what we've seen at all and it's like these are like i said they're people that i'm with every day

i have i could do a video montage of the the last four years that he claims that they were glorified roommates that looked like they were the happiest couple in the world. And it's not because cameras around, it was on trips that we took. It was on festivals that we went to, just nights out at their house. I mean, even in this timeframe, the last seven or eight months, I saw them be romantic. I saw them dance. I saw them kiss. They said, I love you. You just showed us a video of Tom bringing out a bottle from a trip that they took as a couple, and they glanced to Ariana, and she's glowing with happiness. Two weeks before we found out.

Beaming. Also, wasn't that, speaking of Tom's interview, he mentioned Valentine's Day as being one of the nights where he'd attempted to break up or end the relationship. So someone who spent valentine's day with them would it have been before the dinner where they're like glowing and in love would it have been after like where could that possibly be coming from yeah he i mean i know that uh in the evening when they went home they had an argument um but not along the lines of like yeah that's that's the other thing is like, yeah, I mean, I'm close to them to the point where they, they would argue in front of me,

but it was never me sitting back being like, oh my gosh, they're going to break up or this is horrible. This is a horrible fight. They've been together for nine years. It's normal couple. I've been with you for nine years. Things that it's just little things that they pick on each other on,

which everybody does. He also throws that out there. And what's really frustrating is when people are like you had a seven eight month affair he's like well i was gonna break up with her on valentine's day he said that so many times and it's like is that after the end of your it's like okay you had a six to seven month affair right that's that's literally the end of your affair two weeks before we found out the bottle to like as what ariana is drinking the bottle of wine to be like oh by the way i'm fucking ceremonially we have this bottle as long as we've been dating yeah it's it's just it was an odd thing to kind of you know hold his ground on um and i even said that to him once there was a time

at the house where he brought it up again probably probably a week or two after they broke up. And I chimed in and I was like, let's say you did break up with her on Valentine's Day. That doesn't derail what you did the last eight months. So it doesn't matter. So it was just an interesting stance for him to be on. I don't think anyone believes Tom, but since we have you, our insider here, who has been there, these accusations that Tom has been throwing out that he tried to break up with Ariana and Ariana made all these like idle threats of not letting Tom break up with her or ending her life and things like that. Yeah. What would you say to any of that i would say there's there's no truth to that what's interesting to me is the fact that he does say that and i think sheena said what we all

would have said to him um if tom would have looked at me and said she wanted to do that to herself she wanted to take her life i would have looked at him and said the same thing her brother lives here he had a close relationship with her mom he could have called me meredith logan any of her close friends because we would have been there for her so i just think it's um a little bit interesting that that's his stance because why didn't you pick up the phone and call the people in her life that are most important to her if that's the case you know well i don't think he actually believed it for a second. I think it's, you know, for me, it's just when you break someone's heart. He said it about Kristen too, though.

Yeah. But like, we've all had our heart. Listen, I've said some insane shit out loud at my lowest moments of being heartbroken, finding out I've been cheated on, et cetera, et cetera. And then to have that used against me yeah or for you know and specifically in this case for tom to use that against ariana right to take her words of pain in her lowest moment and then weaponize that and then broadcast it and then broadcast that to the world right as as to make it seem like somehow he was in a pickle that he couldn't get out of.

And I even look at it like, I know that's not Ariana's personality, whatever. Even if that was true, why are you weaponizing it? Why are you talking about someone else's mental health to make you look better? It didn't make sense to me. I think another thing too that really caught a lot of us off guard

is probably, I don't know, the last three, four episodes, maybe five, on how him and Schwartz all of a sudden just really talk about him and Ariana's relationship all the time. No, that's not the case at all. That, to me, in my opinion, was pre-planned. He said, I want to start planning these scenes i i personally think he had an elaborate plan to kind of have things go his way yeah yeah i think his narrative was let's start planting the seed that ariana and i aren't doing well whether he broke up with her before the reunion or off camera and then he could ease into you you know, Raquel in the next season. That's my opinion. Watching this, Tom Schwartz would never out of the blue, oh, how are you and Ariana?

I've known the guy for 10 years. He doesn't ask questions like that. He doesn't check up on his friends. He's not the relationship guy. He's like, do you want to have a beer and a shot with? And I mean mean come on in all fairness too like you know he and his relationship wasn't observant of the things that needed

to go so why is he all of a sudden observant with Tom and Ariana it didn't make sense to me personally and seeing that very astute observation yeah well I mean it's like you know we've been friends with these people for as long as I have you just you know people's character and even Tom, like being stressed and talking about how he makes her a morning latte every day and she doesn't reciprocate. I was just like, this is all, this is a part of your plan.

It's. Yeah. It was hard to watch. The fact that you say that now, it's so, it's your opinion and it makes a ton of sense that not that we're letting rachel off the hook right but that conversation that we saw at the what what what should have been the finale that very awkward scene of rachel and ariana talking about ariana and tom's relationship and rachel's asking her these very intimate questions about her sex life we think that came from tom it that almost like tom planted that seed of you should talk to ariana and

questioned you feel like do you think that rachel came up with that on her own or do you how much how much of tom was in that line or more so just like tom being like we're not sleeping together we're like we're roommates i sleep in the other room and her being like, we're not sleeping together. We're like, we're roommates. I sleep in the other room. And her being like, you know what? I'm going to figure this out and start talking to Ariana about this. Do you think it's more subtle or do you think it's Tom? Because Ariana has accused Tom of being kind of that puppet master. Remembering, you know, when Ariana was new to the scene, she's new to the Vanderpump world. There is a position of power that like when you you know whether it's the bachelor or

vanderpump bachelor is like a better example because you have you have 60 new people every season yeah and the new people are just like what the fuck's going on and for even the people who've only been there a year are like you know the they know it all yeah and so there's a position of power yeah that you have until these other people become familiar. And so it would make sense that Ariana felt coached by Sandoval and things like that way back when. And Rachel, she's been in it for a while, but still relatively new compared to Tom is this level of authority. With the transition of all these cast members,

of the Jacksons of the world leaving, I'm sure Tom even felt like, no pun intended like the number one guy you know shit like that i'm curious how much you think you know it's interesting that particular conversation um obviously i knew it was there but then watching it i kind of toyed with yeah did tom coach her on that? Or was Raquel starting to question what's going to happen? Because at a point, Raquel has to wonder, I'm in this seven, eighth month affair. If Tom is telling me I'm the end goal, it's me. When is he going to break up with his wife? Why is this not happening? So I feel like it could have been maybe a little bit of both. You know, maybe Tom saying like, hey, you should have a conversation with Ariana.

But then the specifics on it were kind of interesting about sex and so on and so forth. I think she was kind of looking into it. And you can kind of even see in the first reunion when they were talking about how Tom and Ariana were having sex in January. You know, Raquel was kind of like, what? I didn't know that. I don't know if it was kind of a mixture of both. It was definitely an interesting conversation. That whole night was interesting. I don't know. There's a couple of us that are there that you can just see it on our faces. was it was a crazy night so what is your read on rachel because i feel like a lot of people including myself are i guess fascinated is for lack of a better word with rachel because she she has these incredibly bizarre reactions especially after this has all been found out yeah you know um when tom came to her apartment and they're having a beer and a shot uh watching the reunion back she seems

unremorseful yeah and kind of giddy yeah regarding the drama that she is involved in and yet now we you know obviously these reports that she's in a mental health facility you know working on her mental health uh we'll get into the whole like tom on the phone with her yeah but like what is your read on raquel as someone who was friends with her like looking back how would you analyze raquel like Like what's your read now? I mean, we've talked about her because in all honesty, my mind was blown that I could be duped by her, that I could be tricked, lied to.

I wouldn't have thought she had it in her, not to say she doesn't possess the intelligence to do it, but I didn't think she possessed the intelligence to do it but i didn't think she possessed the intelligence to do it so um i mean that is an eighth month affair directly in front of your friends not just a stranger directly in front of your friends she went out of her way to include ariana and everything she would weeks before we found out i mean we spent so much time with her over that whole time but weeks before we found out she was hitting up ariana and i and asking us to come to an event and come hang out with her and we did and it was just interesting i think when i look at her

now i'm baffled like for some reason want to study her you know like i don't understand how she cannot be remorseful i was with ariana when texted her, which that text has since come out. And she just said, I don't really know what to say, but I'm so, so, so sorry. And that was it. And we both were just kind of like, that's where you're at? That's the text message that you sent? Has she said anything to you? No, I haven't talked to her.

So cameras came up that Friday she filmed Saturday and then she literally went off grid I didn't attempt to reach out to her um I don't have anything to say to her but um she went off the grid and didn't talk to anybody um even people that I know that were kind of like we should just tell her to be with family or friends, you know, just for her well-being, reached out and her phone was off and she has literally not been seen since. Well, now we know her phone is back on. Yeah. Since Tom has been seen on an airplane calling her.

Yeah. People are saying that since she is able to use her phone, that she could be out of the facility. You would think. All of us really don't know um i i think ariana mentioned it she had mailed a letter um she sent a postcard just very generic like hi thought of you type of situation she said wait a postcard yeah she's hi thought of you like while i'm working on like mental health. Like bathing in the sun. With my pina colada. Yeah, it's odd, right? What did the postcard say?

It just was a postcard. Do you have a picture of this? I don't have a picture of it, no. I know. But it was just a postcard that just said that they were on their first outing or something like this. It was probably delayed by the time it came in the mail a little bit. Sure. But first outing at something like this. It was probably delayed by the time it came in the mail a little bit.

But first outing at the retreat? Yeah. And she just said, like, thought of you. Thought of Tom. Yeah. Do we know if he's writing back? But knowing that Ariana lives there, she sent a postcard. I know. That's the oddest thing to me, too, that you sent a postcard.

Because they're like, right, they don't really come in envelopes. No. It's just front and back. Just a little card for everyone to see yeah i know like she did send a letter to which obviously ariana it's illegal to open she wouldn't open it but um yeah the postcard was kind of like why would you show her the message but i don't i don't even know if tom received them he's been on tour and when he has like a couple days off in between because surprisingly his tour was very booked in may it doesn't make any sense i don't get it either um

he hasn't been home really in may so i i don't know if he knows of them or if his assistant sent him to where he's at i'm not sure what is your read on tom and on rachel now like do you think tom gives a shit about rachel or do you think rachel's in love with tom like how would you assess this situation from your seat i would hope that they love each other because i can't imagine blowing your life up this much to not have it work out um when the news broke i think the day the first reunion episode came out that they were on a break i don't think any of us really bought it um i i just don't see them taking a break also you know with the show coming back um it was green lit for season 11 like it to me it wouldn't really make sense that what you just start and you guys

aren't together and we just pick up the pieces and move on like that's weird so what do you think of this new Tom's girlfriend this new girl from Austin yeah girl in Austin the most recent we've heard is a statement from his team

and himself that they aren't and that they're just a friend and she said that too I mean i can't imagine that would be his girlfriend i'm i'm sure they're definitely fucking that he is like i was gonna say i'm sure they're doing extracurricular like him going in public with anyone let alone like a strange woman yeah is he generally oh like that's you've been hanging out with them right you you've been hanging out with these people who have been on a very popular television show for 10 years yeah and i can't speak to everyone's self-awareness but right as someone who's been on reality tv especially when you're in the throes of a season yeah you become aware of your surroundings yeah you know you you be careful yeah with who you're taking the throes of a season. Yeah. You become aware of your surroundings. Yeah. You know, you be careful

with who you're taking a picture of. Yeah. That's why I turned down Jax 10 years ago or whenever it was. He still hasn't blocked, I found out. I'm blocked too, and I just saw him the other day, so I don't know.

I've never done anything to him. How do you block someone who you've never engaged with on social media? It's, yeah. Yeah, I found out that I was blocked. Anyway, but you become careful with who you associate yourself with who you take a picture with who you're seen out in public with

is sandoval just not a self-aware guy or do you think he is strategic in his own way but just lacks you know the capabilities of of of strategizing to his own best interests. I feel like he thinks he's strategizing, but I don't think it's just being played out like he thought it would be. I mean, I don't know if you saw when he went, um, he went to Arizona to this place where you can like zip line and bike and

trails and all this and he was posting all these stories and i just thought this is so weird this is very cringe i mean you are in amidst a cheating scandal and you're having somebody video you bike ride and then stop and burn out the tires and laughing and it's like what you doing? Like not phased by anything. And in all honesty. He needs stimulation. He needs stimulation. He is a human and I recognize that too, but I think there's ways to go about it, you know? And I think taking to social media and the light that he has,

he's probably trying to pick up the pieces and trying to create a life for himself that he feels better about himself, but it's just not being viewed that way. Do you agree with Charlie's assessment that Sandoval thought that they were going to be kind of like the Brad and Angelina Jolie of Vanderpump and, and that you and the rest of the gang would just accept them with open arms and just like, I guess as if Ariana would be old be old news so to speak i feel like

the perspective that i got from him was that initially when this happened that we were all angry with him and it would go away um and do you think that's because vanderpump in general has had so many kind of ancestral affairs in the past that like people reacted and then yeah just picked up the pieces and moved on i mean i think when you look back at the history of the 10 years of this friend group and what has happened with cheating and all the lies and certain things like that yeah it's probably easy to think like well it took a year but now you guys are at the same table again and i just think this is a different scenario because even though we thought those things were so bad when they happened and they still were, I don't want to take credit away from someone's

hurt or whatever, but this has never been done before in this group. This has never happened, and I think processing it, like I said, is interesting when you're on the outside of that relationship because not only is your friend hurting but then you lost two friends like i lost two friends you know it's i was numb for a while and then once i wanted to make sure she was okay i had to make sure that i was okay because i lost two friends that i loved you know so well it's interesting as someone who has just started watching vanderpump yeah that's why I went back and watched episode two. Cheating is cheating.

We all recognize that. Yeah. Or, you know, I don't, I don't have like a, it's, it's black or white to me. Same.

Um, that being said, the Christian situation with Tom, it's, it is night and day difference in terms of like the intensity and just the whole situation. Like that was just such a fucking mess of a relationship ariana was like new to the scene you know as opposed to raquel and ariana like it sounded like ariana and chris at the time were barely in friends right they weren't at all yeah

and so yeah just like for tom to not connect those dots and think that he could that it would just somehow be the same as it was nine years ago. Right. It's kind of astonishing. Well, and I think the difference and Kristen has even spoke to this, too, is their relationship, Tom and Kristen. It was on the way out. I think they just did stay together for convenience. You know, at the time they lived together, so on and so forth. But, yeah, it's it's a completely different situation.

I mean, you're taking a girl that was engaged to a guy that you were friends with and now you're a couple and she's friends with your girlfriend. It's very interesting. How do you think the next season, how are they going to ever be able to interact with each well i guess to to

that point what have you heard or what would you guess is this big secret that's out there because lisa has been out there on twitter you know recently i don't know if we started the rumor i hope we didn't um but we kind of suggested it. Is that like maybe Lisa knew? And Charlie kind of alluded to, you know, she implied that she kind of heard at least some rumors. And all she really said is she thinks people, whoever these people are, knew. They're, you know uh did this affair between rachel and tom start even when maybe james and raquel were still or rachel were in a relationship and back at rachella yeah and did how long did swartz actually know? Were Tom and Raquel hooking up at Swartz's house and things like that?

Was he covering for them? Do you have any insights or at least guesses as to what this is going to be? Because everything we keep hearing, even Lisa kind of confirmed over the weekend, that this, whatever it is, will be detrimental to the group. that this, whatever it is, will be detrimental to the group and will have some serious impact on how they film season 11, which is why you said before we started, like, everything keeps getting pushed and pushed and pushed. You guys are supposed to start recording when? Well, you know, it's funny because I think that's when, you know, Alex Baskin, who's an executive producer, he said he wanted cameras up right away, but then with this revelation, they wanted to push it back. So they are scheduled for the end of June.

But it's interesting. I want to start by saying the internet is absolutely wild. TikTok. Wild. First of all, I can't get anything on my For You page except for, well, Little Mermaid snuck in a little bit this weekend. But otherwise. Did you see it? Yeah, it was good. It was actually really good um all right yeah it was good pop off disney yeah go um but for the last three months it's just literally been vanderpump rules and everybody has

these theories and i think it's really easy to grasp a theory when you're not friends with this group um if you're watching it as an outsider but i think there's a lot of these things that in my mind don't make sense to be the right theory like lisa knowing earlier it just doesn't track with me because she's also a producer on the show yeah so why would you like navigated that yeah why would you cover that up no it's not in her bed just to cover it up so you know when people are like lisa knew she's known forever i'm like i get why you would want to say that but it just doesn't make sense because she's a producer on the show yeah that would have come out if and you know people say not to get off track here but

they're always like oh production new production new production new it's like if production knew you guys they would have filmed it when it happened because it cost money to pick up and find a crew off season like yeah if production would have known when raquel is having that conversation with ariana right you best be sure there would have been a producer like off to the side like poking the bear so much that like could like if you want tv gold if you're a producer you have that happen it would have come out that party exactly while it's while everyone is there because that's the finale too that would have been fucking insane and if you're a producer and you have like a lick of skill yeah and you're happy like you're decent at your job you make sure that gets out there you accidentally leave the photo or what whatever you just you make sure

yeah uh it happened it would have happened on camera yeah while camera was up so you know those things to me it just they just don't make sense what does make sense brad honestly i i think it's just gonna be around time frame um which you know to us in the friend group it's not that big of a deal you know it's like it happened if it was eight months if it was 12 months whatever i think it will be more shocking to fans and viewers but um i just i kind of think it's just going to be based around time frame. Schwartz found out in August. If it started before that... Do you think that's true?

Do we believe Schwartz? Because Tom and Tom seem to be off on... Well, yeah, they're a little off. Tom claimed January. Yeah, Tom claimed January. In all honesty, based off of the information that they had their first hookup in the beginning of August,

I would absolutely say, in my opinion, Schwartz has known since August because Tom... No, August of 22. 22. Yeah. So that was right around Sheena's wedding. And so when Sandoval's saying January, is he talking January of 23 or January

of 22? 23. Tom is saying that they had... So Sandoval's saying January, is he talking January of 23 or January of 22? 23. Tom is saying that they had- So Sandoval's saying- He just found out. That Swartz just found out. Well, and initially- See, that's even almost confusing when you're talking about months, because I think the internet assumed-

It was January of 22? That Sandoval was outing Swartz, when in reality, it was almost the other way around. It was the other way around. Well you can even see it in the episode when he goes to Katie's, the final episode. She says, when did you know? And he said, oh I didn't put it in my calendar but it's probably been a month. And she's like, no

I don't believe you. And eventually he's like, yeah I mean he told me about the one night stand in August. Yeah, because she makes the comment about bravo con where raquel was there in the tom tom shirt and says she's not here for me yeah and then also we cut back to the glamping trip for the birthday and we see a very fucked up tom schwartz being like raquel has a type married men and he knew he knew that yeah i mean he knew yeah we assume that he knew the whole time mean, he does say that he found out in August. So if that is the true start date, then he's known the whole time.

I mean, there's that clip at Sheena's wedding where he supposedly grabs Raquel's ass or slaps her ass right behind. Yeah. Sandoval. Yeah. Yeah. So that was in August. So that kind of matches up there. Yeah. That was interesting to see too. Yeah. So if that was in August, so like that kind of matches up there. Yeah. That was interesting to see too. Yeah.

So you're saying that the group has discussed the possibilities of what this revelation could be. I mean, some of us have, yeah. Like not everyone in like a group text message for sure. But yeah. But you,

it's your position that the group is kind of almost rolling their eyes at what this could be. Maybe it's like Alex and the producers, obviously, you know, we, we want everyone to watch. Sure.

You know, we, we want to squeeze every bit of juice out of this scandal. We can, we're all, you know, sadly, I guess we are enjoying it.

Yeah. Um, but the, the cast is less concerned about what this revelation could be. No one's like shaking in their boots being like. I mean, the obvious assumption is that it's coming from one of the two of them,

Tom or Raquel, because. Do you think Raquel's pregnant? No, I don't think she is. No, when that came out again, that's another like. I think that's even been debunked. Yeah, I i mean her team came out and said that she wasn't but i didn't believe it when it came out anyways yeah i mean the thing is is if they because a lot of people thought that was the reunion surprise but she was literally videoed drinking coors light and smoking a vape outside

of the reunion so like she's well well i wouldn't push that's right because because if that was the news that came out she wouldn't be drinking a beer yeah so yeah it's not as if well that would be that's the logic but i don't know over the weekend lisa was while kind of denying that she knew i think her she she said something i know now and kind of wish she didn't, as if she... Yeah. They're all selling it like it's something real serious. And I feel like it's going to come out. We're going to be like, okay.

Like, y'all hyped that up for nothing. I don't know what to expect. I mean, at this point now, I think the shock to the inside group is kind of over. Okay. You know what I mean? No, I totally know what you mean. We still could be surprised. But at this point,

it's like, well, we don't care about them anymore, so. The only wrinkle that I would, just to play devil's advocate, would be, it's one thing

for the producers to hype it up and talk a big game and try to be like, oh, you gotta watch, you know, but they are, at least they claim to be moving production.

And that is, I think, something to note. Because we're talking money. You know, we're talking logistics. We're talking some real decisions that, you know, cost money. And are creative decisions to not start filming. Why are they not filming right now? Like, the show is, is in a sense being made when we had Kate on, she made a joke about saying, I'm uncomfortable with all

these people from Vanderpump living their lives without cameras. Like this is content we are missing out on, you know, for this story to be playing out in real time. Right. Like it's why you're here. It's just like, what are we missing? What's going on right now while the show's not being filmed that's still very much part of the story? In fact, it's the biggest part of the story. The aftermath is what we all want to know.

And the producers at Vanderpump are saying that we want to push it out because in fairness to, you know, as much as we want this like logistically we just know that this particular group of people is going to react to this news and we know that this particular group of people are going to have a list of demands um based off the information that is revealed that is going to just flat out affect our production schedule so until we know that we can't in good conscience you know start filming and that to me is more than just a couple producers saying some shit

get to get people to watch their show right no i agree with you and i i think um i i don't know if we just can't figure it out or or what the case is but i mean i think there's a couple things that play into it from the outside perspective i mean emotions are are very high i think you saw in reunion part one james and tom you know almost got physical and i think this group is very emotional yeah they let their anger through they let their hurt through and i think it almost probably was too much initially to just keep it going right away so i think it probably helps give a more realistic show but the other thing is too and you know tom is on tour with his band so how do you really start filming when this guy's gone for another three weeks yeah i think regardless nobody

not to speak for them but really wants to film with them anyways like no matter what this revelation is it's like no we don't want to be around raquel and tom right so we don't do you think raquel will come back because we're hearing rumors that her family doesn't want her to come back and granted she is she did age out of pageantry but is she allowed to make her own choices when it comes to filming? You know, honestly, when it comes to filming with Raquel, I think there's probably viewers in the world that want her to come back. But in my personal opinion, if she is truly away working on herself, I can't imagine people that are helping her work on herself would advise her to go back. Well, if you're talking straight mental health. Yeah.

There's never an argument that going on reality is going to help you for your mental health it's just not yeah but i i don't know i mean we also don't know really what is going on anywhere like you you brought up that he was on the phone with her on the plane well all of a sudden she has her phone back so i don't know like where is she Yeah. So what is your read on Swartz? Because I, I've met the guy a couple of times. Even like he is a very affable guy. He's,

and it just seems like what I, as someone who doesn't know him, just an outsider, it's just like Tom Swartz reminds me of a lot of buddies I grew up with. People who have been my friends i'm from the midwest swartz is from the midwest where are you from uh fargo north dakota fargo north dakota hell yeah maybe the only one ever on this couch and it's just like why do you think swartz has this unwavering loyalty to Sandoval?

Of all the people he could have an unwavering loyalty to, why is it Tom Sandoval? And do you think that loyalty still exists, or do you think that there's finally some cracks in the armor? I have started to hear rumors that when it comes to Sworch and Sandoval, that loyalty might have finally dwindled and there are some dramatic discussions going on about the ownerships of Schwartz and Sandy's. In my opinion, Tom Schwartz is the guy that always wants everybody to get along. If he has to pick a side that will end a friendship or pick the side that is probably wrong and just will temporarily cause a rift he picks that side um i've kind of noticed

that with him throughout the years i mean you saw it play out with his relationship with katie too if someone was ganging up on katie for some reason he took the opposing side which was always interesting but his loyalty to Tom shocks me. And I just don't understand how he continues to be loyal. I haven't talked to Schwartz. He was another one that I just haven't talked to him. Most of us haven't since it happened. I don't know about their business. We've heard rumblings too, but I mean, none of us talk to Sandoval. So I'm not sure what to believe. And again,

if it's just a rumor going out there, but I would hope that when filming, you know, picks back up that he puts his feet on the ground and has a backbone a little bit more because, you know, Katie said it, I think when she was here,

if the roles were reversed, Tom would take care of himself. Tom Sandoval would take care of himself. Yeah. No, it could not be more obvious. It's so obvious. I don't know how he doesn't see it. Yeah. It's shocking to me.

I want to shake Schwartz and just be like, what the fuck, man? I love that loyalty matters to him but it seems such misguided i mean it's interesting like loyal i'm a scorpio so i'm like loyal to the core i was so loyal to tom sandoval showed up supported did everything for that guy but like there's got to be a line in the sand when someone does something wrong yeah what else is out there that you know that maybe the world doesn't know like what are some information that just maybe some behind the scenes interactions that have happened at the house just like little bits of information the crumbs if you will that uh my audience and just bravo nation in general is is starving for i mean

i think it's just kind of the ridiculousness of him not wanting to leave the house um i know people know that he's still there but his stance on it is that he pays half the rent he owns half the house why does he have to leave which is very interesting because i don't know if you saw when you know jack's had his issues tom was pilot you know you know promoting get out of the house do the right thing get out of promoting, get out of the house, do the right thing, get out of the house, get out of the house. And it's like, he just won't leave. It's just interesting. His take that him owning half the house is the reason why he should be able to stay there. Him owning the TV means you can't watch it.

Yeah, we can't watch it. Yeah. It's tough. Anything else I think would just be... Luckily, like I said, he's been gone. So most recently haven't had to deal with that. But when he stops touring and cameras pick back up and they're in the house together, I can't imagine that's going to be a good situation. Have you heard Tom Sandoval say anything about Ariana's new partner? That is a great question. And we're going to get to Brad's answer and Brad's opinion on Ariana's new man. But right after our texting office hour, for all the people who are tuning in to listen to Brad, we have these callers. Every episode of Going Deeper. And if you love them, we have full episodes every Monday that ask Dicks, which is similar to these calls. But Brad, are you ready to give someone a relationship advice? I'm ready. Yeah. Bring them on. Shopify. Hey, all you people out there who are maybe thinking about starting a small business or have a small business out there and you want to run your e-commerce business. If

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and he lied about it. Okay, wow. On the nose. Here we go. Any chance they're fucking? I'd like to believe not, but I guess, you know. Have you been watching Vanderpump?

I've been hearing about it on your show. Okay, yeah. Sounds familiar. Maybe, maybe watch it and see if it, uh, scratches and resonates, resonates an itch that, yeah. But in all seriousness, like what, how did this all happen? Give us the con like how long you've been with your boyfriend? Let's start there. I guess it's been about a year. Okay. Super serious. Uh, like where he's living together, not living together. Are you guys talking about marriage? Like how would you classify this relationship from your point of view?

So it's pretty serious. It was really long distance. Now it's, I guess, medium distance. We see each other or we were seeing each other on the weekends and now he's on a work trip for the next several months. So now it's... Who is this girl best friend? Girl best friend is somebody from his hometown. They kind of grew up together. And yeah, so she still lives in his hometown. He does not live in his hometown when he's normally here. He's about two hours away from me.

Have you met or like talked to her? Are you friends with her? No, I've never met her or talked to her, but she is best friends with his ex-girlfriend. And she added me on Instagram. And I was like, I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she's not creeping. Interesting. She is best friends with his ex-girlfriend.

Yes. Huh. I already hate it. Yeah, this is odd. How did you find out? Yeah. Thank you, Brett. How did you find out?

He went home a week before I was supposed to come out there and hang out with his his family and his friends so he kind of knows i have my guard up about this girl because of past interactions and he mentioned to me he's like oh she stopped by for about an hour and i was like she drove 45 minutes to stop by for an hour that doesn't make sense and so like later my gut was just telling me that that was not true so when he came back with me after the trip i checked his i went through his phone while i was sleeping and i found i told him i confronted him and i told him i went through but what did you find yeah what did you find yeah so i went through the messages and the day he got back to his hometown and that night he messaged her and was like come over come hang out we're all together it was his brother his other brother and their girlfriend and he invited them over or her over to hang out with them and she did um she

got off laid off work and stopped by her house grabbed clothes just like so it was planned that she was spending the night on her end the only thing that like still bothers me is like everybody else left so she slept in his bed he said she slept he slept on the couch and his brother and girlfriend went back up to like up to bed yeah so it wasn't like like i could maybe understand if they like oh they were drinking and like she didn't want to drive but she brought clothes oh yeah yeah wow yeah and did you did you did you discover any in the text messages any because even when you read text messages that are not meant for you to read, even if there's not shit going on, when you read it, it sounds fucked up.

Because like, yeah, you're already triggered. You're in your head. Yeah. So like anything that could be perceived as maybe flirting, you're like, what the fuck is this? So like, were you triggered by anything in the messages so here's the thing too he deletes all his texts okay this got your discussion no this there and there is a reason why he does it it is not whatever he says he is doing there is a shady reason behind

it though i just like my to clean out my fucking old text messages and blah blah blah and like whatever bullshit every now okay every now and then to like a long airplane ride, you don't have Wi-Fi, like what are you going to do? Delete pictures and old text messages. I get that. But if he's constantly like up to date deleting them, red flag. Or if there's only one person that there's a delete

thread from, he knows you know that he lied. Did you ask him why he lied? Yes. So his reason for lying was well i knew you would be upset yes yeah we yeah we could i could have predicted that for a million dollars yeah yeah he was care he was worried about your mental health and your well-being yeah no he was what a thoughtful king um yeah we talked about it and i was like trying to understand his point of view like it's your longtime best friend you want to see her you know i'm gonna be mad about it and I was like trying to understand his point of view. Like it's your longtime best friend.

You want to see her, you know, I'm going to be mad about it, but what do you mean by longtime best friend? Walk me. What do you mean by longtime best friend? Is she attractive? Yes.

She's gorgeous. Well, he's not, you know, he's not, how old is your boyfriend? And he's six years younger than me. He's 23.

No, he's 24. Just turned 24. I'm 20. Okay. I mean, that's kind of whatever. But is he, is your, is your boyfriend attractive? I mean, like what? I think he's pretty cute.

No, my boyfriend is so fucking ugly. He literally just got to be like, what? No, listen, objectively. yeah, I want to know. I hope she thinks he's attractive. Okay, fine. I would assume she would. Everyone thinks their boyfriend's handsome, but some people know if he's just like,

does he get a lot of attention from women? Yeah, people say he's cute. Okay. Okay. How much of a fuckboy is your boyfriend is what I'm trying to figure out. He's 23, so regardless of his, like, what could be immaculate character. And at this day and age, in 2023, every 23 year old male is a massive fuck boy.

Unless you have a mountain of evidence as to why they're the exception to the rule. And unfortunately, having a girlfriend nowadays doesn't really help their cause. Because they still have that fuckboy energy inside them, which is like this need to like get constant validation and attention from as many people slash women as possible for heterosexual males. And so what is a werewolf? Like this was his or like this, I feel like kind of feels like a full moon moment, so to speak, of like this friend from home who like there's drove 45 minutes to hang out and spend the night with the bag of clothes, with the bag of clothes, slept in his bed. Oh, like I guess he's being a gentleman and not like letting her sleep. But is there a guest bedroom? No. So he was staying in a guest bedroom because his parents reconverted.

He was staying in his guest bedroom, changed his reconverted he was staying in his guest bedroom changed his guest room who's at his parents house yeah with his his brothers and like they were all staying so this is his parents house he's sleeping he let her sleep in his basically childhood bedroom yeah it's converted into a guest room so it doesn't look like i guess there's not like dinosaurs on the wall he He slept where? His parents' house or on the couch? Couch. So why can't she sleep? Yeah, he slept on the couch. She slept upstairs in his bed.

I'm sorry. Do we know that for sure? I like to think of myself as, and I have my fiancee here. Please be as honest as possible. Okay. I like to think of myself as pretty solid in the chivalry department. I'm not saying I'm a fucking prince or a king, but I'm- Pumping gas. I'm pumping gas.'m pumping gas i'm

i like to go out of my way uh to make sure my friends and the people i love are comfortable there's no fucking way i'd let someone sleep in my bed i don't care who they are i don't care what friend is i want them to have a comfortable place to sleep i i certainly you know if they have a couch great but like my parent oh fuck it's my bed it's my bed I'm sleeping here there's no fucking way I'm letting anyone let along like not my girlfriend and my friend

like nah I don't believe for a second that he didn't sleep in the same bed did y'all talk at all the night that she was there like did you call him did he no I went to bed and that was that i had worked the next day so he and he's on like home like vacation at home with his friends so i was just like whatever went to sleep and then the next day he's like yeah she stopped by i was like oh she stopped by and then i was

thinking about it i was like she wasn't stopping by let me ask you a question and not to put i'm not putting you on trial here but why are you dating uh a 23 year old man four like 24 24 yeah what um yeah so i got out of a really bad relationship about two years ago okay and he um kind of the first serious boyfriend like i guess serious guy that i've met that i've been attracted to and gotten along with um since that breakup does he show signs of being mature for his age like yes yeah he has had a lot of life experience um he's lived in another country but he does go out a lot which what does he say about all this like what is his read is he? Like, has he and has he accused you of anything? How did he handle you going through his phone?

So he told me he didn't care that I went through his phone. He was like, you know, and he took a full accountability. He was but his only excuse, he didn't really have one. He just kept apologizing over and over again and said, you know, I knew you would be mad. So I didn't tell you. um and said you know i knew you would be mad so i didn't tell you so the only other thing that bothers me about his response and all of this was like he kind of wants me to just get over it now it's been a couple months and i did tell him you know like we can like try to move past this which now i don't know if i regret that or not and that's kind of why i wanted to hear your side of

it what is your is what my therapist always tells me or asks me. What does your body tell you? Like, when you feel in your body, when you think about this topic, you can tell yourself all, everything you want and you can logically

walk through, be like, yeah, that makes sense and he said this and then, okay. So neck down,

what does your body say? Yeah, like what in your body when this topic comes up, what do you feel is the truth? Gun to your head. It just makes me like sick to sick to my stomach yeah it makes me sick to my stomach makes me so mad if you gun to your head so to speak if someone said what's the closest version of the truth what would your

what's the truth in your mind about them yes and what happened that night i want to say they probably no no not what you want to say deep down in your gut like what feels the most honest even if the truth hurts you know how sometimes when we just kind of know something and we want to deny it we want to believe there's any other reason but even once we find out the truth at least our body is almost feels a sense of calm because it's like we're no longer in conflict with what our head is convincing ourselves of but what our body is feeling. And I'm asking you, like, what is your body feeling about the truth?

Not what you want, not what you want to believe, not what you've tried to convince yourself or what he's tried to convince yourself. What would feel the most truth that when you hear that answer, you go, you know what? That I know that that's fucking it. I believe that there is something there between them. For sure. Do you think they flirted something yeah do you think that they were flirting that night yeah i i think she flirts with him like there's a reason why you weren't there right because she has not like there was

not an instance where i because i came again like the end of the week um for the weekend and there was not an instance where it was like let's go hang out with my girl best friend. Not once have I been introduced to her. That matters. Yeah, that matters. Yeah. If he can't claim to even call her a pal or a casual friend, if you don't know anything about her. I have friends from, obviously, I lived in Savannah, Georgia. I have a lot of friends from there.

And I do have guy friends that I keep up with. And like if they were to ever call me, I'm like, oh, my gosh, like talk to Nick and Nick. And like they'll have a conversation while it's on speakerphone or something. So he has some sort of rapport with this person. Now, maybe they can't meet because you're across the country. But like they do. I do want them to get to know each other. And like, has he ever offered to like give you her

number like let's here she's calling me let me let's do you want to talk to her anything no nothing like that um he has said oh i would love for you to meet her after all of this he's like you need to stay the night at his house he's really hoping you'd be like i don't want to meet that bitch yeah yeah right yeah and i'm trying not to come off as like well before before all this i was trying not you know like to be open-minded not to have an issue but again like i came from a long-term relationship where all of our friends were the same friends so i've never had to navigate this i mean my guard was up from the get-go because she would like call him middle of the night you know drunk or

like the next day oh yeah that's different and um so i was like that's kind of odd yeah no it's fucked up it's inappropriate it's not even odd it's inappropriate because that means there's a level of comfort that they have that they shouldn't have and that you don't know while he's in a relationship yeah that you're unaware about like again to nally's point like you we you know you While he's in this group. But if it's not part of like normal, acceptable behavior, it's incumbent about the person to just be like, to let that person know, hey, we do this. This is part of who we are. Upfront expectations, this relationship. He's never mentioned that. So clearly it's either something that isn't part of their normal routine, or he doesn't want you to know it's part of their normal routine. Because again, he has shown you through his actions and his words

that if he thinks it might upset you, then he justifies it as something that you don't need to know. And he's convinced himself that he's doing the noble thing when all he's really doing is being a chicken shit and hoping it doesn't go away and then convincing himself it's not that big of a deal in his mind because I'm not fucking her. Let's assume he's not fucking her, but he is definitely playing with fire. Question.

Does he, when she calls drunk in the middle of the night, does he answer in front of you? No, no. And also, we're also long distance, and so he'll tell me about about it and i'm just like oh well did you talk to her and he's like no i didn't answer yeah unfortunately like him telling you about her a little bit is in my experience is just it could be him almost projecting

wanting to like get like it's like i think people who cheat sometimes they fly close to the sun right you know it's like tom and rachel hanging out you know i think after you realize these things happen and we don't know if your boyfriend's cheating on you but uh to be clear right but like when you find out when someone is cheating out and then you're just like but how could you say this about that person now you brought it up in lot you know and it's just, it seems Machiavellian and nature. When you look at it, hindsight, like how could you,

the fucking boldness that you fucking did that. And in reality, I don't know if it's like evilness or Machiavellian. I think it's honestly like when you are living this lie and you're hiding things from people, I think it's, I think it is stressful on those people. I don't think everyone who cheats isn't some sort of sociopathic narcissist. This is not how it works,

right? I think these are real people with maybe some real emotional problems and baggage and whatever. And for the people who do cheat, who maybe aren't sociopaths and narcissists, who are just like in a selfish state of mind and and doing this they they give themselves away if you pay attention you know if it comes out that you're let's say your boyfriend did some shit a lot of other things i think are going to come up and you're going to be like how the fuck did you what it and it's it's not they kind of give themselves away so him bringing it up and and all these little things that he's doing, but not really doing. I think it's a huge red flag that he talks about her a little bit with you, but doesn't fully make you familiar

with her. I think it's a red flag that he won't answer the call when she's around and shit like that. There is definitely something going on that's inappropriate between these two. I don't know what the line is, but I'm pretty confident in saying that there is definitely something inappropriate going on. I agree. I think what's interesting too, though, is did you say she lives 45 minutes away? Well, so in the hometown, when he's visiting her where they live, he moved out of the city, or his parents did, and that's 45 minutes from the city. She still lives in the city. Oh, gotchacha so not from

where you guys live yeah because i was gonna say for dating someone for a year and a best friend lives 45 minutes away how would you have not met them yet yeah right right he calls this person his best friend i'm sorry well she calls them best friends and he says she's a friend either way yeah it's there's a disconnect there and if he's a friend that and you've been dating this guy for a year you should have far more familiarity with her than you do and there's a reason why you don't and the reason is he has not made it a priority or gone out of his way to make sure it doesn't happen and now everything he says about her is a reaction to your questions or a reaction to him being caught,

caught. It's, it's reactive. It's very Tom Sandoval in a sense. He's coming up with things that make sense to him. And for all, you know, maybe he's convinced of it,

you know, let's say he hasn't actually physically cheated on her with cheating on you with her. You know, when it comes to emotional cheating, it's, I think it's very easy for people to lie to themselves and subsequently a lie to their with her you know when it comes to emotional cheating it's i think it's very easy for people to lie to themselves and subsequently a lot of their partners

you know because it's like well did i really i mean like yeah you know you kind of have to be when it comes to emotional cheating like you kind of almost have to be there to witness it to really be like no that's fucking emotional cheating right because the devil's in the details so to speak you know it's it's kind of like what was the emotional state of mind of the two people emotional cheating and And if it's very easy to talk yourself out of it, be like, well, that's not what it was. We're just like that. We're just friends like that. It's a definite gray area, but fucked up nonetheless. So here's my advice to you. Over and over, tell yourself that you are A, not wrong for feeling the way you feel. You're not crazy. I'm sure that right now you're going through this kind of dilemma internally, which is feeling like the crazy girlfriend who just can't get over a simple mistake

that her boyfriend, and he's kind of implying that you should just get over it. It's old news. But there's something in your body that's telling you that it's not old news and you don't have all information. I think it's very important that you listen to that voice, right? And not your boyfriend. And if your boyfriend ever wants to give you shit by not letting something go, you just simply say, listen, something feels off. I'm not the one who did this.

You did this. And I'm sorry for going through your phone, but these are responses to your actions, not mine. And I guess until I feel like it's not even my responsibility to make me okay with this, it's your responsibility. And quite frankly, I don't feel like you've fully gone out of your way to make me feel comfortable with this situation. But I think at no point should you feel bad about questioning him or questioning her or answering for more answers. bad about questioning him or questioning her or answering for more answers. Like right now, your body's telling you to ask more questions and your ego or him is saying, no girl, just listen and forget about it. Listen to your body, you know, and don't, don't listen to your fears.

You have every right to ask more questions. And if he gets defensive and just be like, listen, like I hate the way I feel this way, but this does not add up. Just doesn't add up. If you want me to be close with her, if you want me to be comfortable with this friendship, that's your responsibility, not mine. Yeah. And we talked about boundaries too, just maybe setting some better boundaries with her. But his way of doing that has been more just kind of ignore her. And I don't feel like that's even setting a boundary it's just avoiding the whole situation altogether and maybe all he is doing is knowingly ignoring the fact that he knows that she's into him and he's just pretending to like miss that because he likes the validation he likes the attention he likes the way she flirts with him

and maybe he's not doing anything more than that. But that's still something, right? What he is not doing is saying, I have a girlfriend who I love and I want to be with. I have this girl who's a friend that I guess I could, like, I have eyes. Like, I think Natalie is the most beautiful girl in the world. But I have eyes that, like, some of my maybe past women friends might have, like, might look a certain way where it's just like, you know, I know what type of guys Natalie's attracted to. Like, we know what our partners are into. And so it's upon, it's our job to make sure that our partners don't have the burden of

getting comfortable. We have to make them comfortable, especially as we incorporate them into our lives. It's his responsibility to make you comfortable with that environment. And it seems like he's not going out of his way he's just like well i don't know i'm like and under no circumstances should he talk to her on the phone or hang out with her again without you meeting her or talking to her first like under no circumstances should there be like oh i ran into her and we like went and had lunch together absolutely not like you need to meet her you need to talk talk to her. I mean, if you want. He's 23. Maybe he's not ready to have a 424. Maybe he's not ready to have a girlfriend, but you have the right. And this is what you need to tell yourself. If you are going to date someone

who's 24, 25, whatever age, I don't care what age they are. You have decided you want to be in a committed relationship. So you have the right to decide what boundaries and expectations are involved in a committed relationship. And it doesn't matter what age he is. You have the right to decide what boundaries and expectations are involved in a committed relationship. And it doesn't matter what age he is. You have the right to say, I'm not comfortable with this. I'm comfortable with that. Like you doesn't get to have excuses. He might say, hey, well, I don't know. I don't want to be burdened by that responsibility. And then you break up. But like, do not try to figure out a way to accommodate him being 23. Four. 24. Sorry. Why do I have 23 stuck in my head? I don't know. Don't try to accommodate him being 23 or 24.

Sorry. Why do I have 23? Don't try to accommodate him being 24. Yeah. And you don't need anything that like stands up in a court of law. Like this isn't about getting information that makes it objectively clear that he was in the wrong or that he was in the right or whatever it is. Like, it's really all about how you feel about this. And I think especially coming from a relationship in the past that was pretty unhealthy that like it seems like you were saying, you know, getting back into dating itself

is kind of an accomplishment. Like you're always allowed to say like too much exposure therapy, you know, like how we talk about a lot on the show, like Nick will say it's healthy to be triggered a little bit, but there gets to a point where it's too much. And so it's not about, oh, it's too much. And this means that he's definitely doing X, Y, Z shady thing that everybody would find wrong. It can just be this is just too much and it's too much. And this means that he's definitely doing X, Y, Z shady thing that everybody would find wrong. It can just be, this is just too much and it's triggering me. And I'm just spending so much time and energy, like scrutinizing myself and questioning myself and trying to run through like what reality is. So like, just know that no, you don't need to prove this to anybody but yourself, that this is like a healthy or good relationship.

And I think you also, something you could say to your boyfriend is like, regardless of how long it's been, it's still something that bothers me. And that's your fault. I'm stressed about this person and it's not because I'm insecure and it's not because I have some baggage I need to unpack. It's because you lied to me.

It's because you left things out. It's because you haven't gone out of your way to make me comfortable with this person. And that's why I feel the way I do. Yeah, he should be going out of his way to make sure that you feel comfortable with it. And it should be more than just like, I'm sorry. Like he needs to be saying more

than just apologizing to you. Any woman friend I've had that I wanted Natalie or any other girlfriend I've had in the past to be friends with, it was, I made it happen. I was like, I like, I love this person as a friend. I love my new girlfriend. I want them to be best friends because if they are truly your friend, you want your friends to be friends. It's that fucking simple. And if there's any, if there's any other motive, then there's a reason why. Yeah. And that, and if they want them separate, there's a reason why there just is. It's that fucking, it's not complicated. You don't have to overthinking.

And that's what your body is telling you. Your body is telling you what I'm telling you. You just have to start listening to it. All right. Well, go in guns a blazing. We need an update. Yeah. Follow us back.

Yeah. Please, please let us know. But in all seriousness, I would just sit them down and say, hey, listen, this is still bothering me. I know it happened a long time ago, but that's not really the point. I need to figure out why this, because things aren't adding up. And then you could be like, what's not adding up? Just walk through it all. Be slow and methodical with your questions. And when he gives you answers, don't gloss over them. I've made that mistake in the past because we do this thing when we're in a relationship,

we want to trust them. We want to trust the people we love. We are in these relationships so that we can say, I unconditionally trust you. It's not a stranger telling us a secret. We have to be like, cool, can I trust a stranger? That's the benefit of being in a relationship to be like, yeah, whatever you say, man, I'm just going to give you that trust. I trust you. But unfortunately, people take advantage of that trust. So in this situation, listen to his answers. Ask more questions. Ask more questions. Think about what he says. Don't just gloss over it and go, okay, yeah. Not like I could believe that. No. Do you actually believe that? Does it feel right? And if it doesn't, ask follow-up questions and keep digging.

Okay. I will. All right. I definitely will. Yeah. You're not crazy. You have the right to feel the way you do. And when you find out the full truth, whatever that is, your body will let you know your body would be like, I know that's it.

It will resonate. If nothing else, you won't be confused. And so until you stop feeling confusion, keep asking questions because your body is letting you know like what, what's really going on. Yeah, definitely.

All right. Yeah. Thank you. All right. Well, good luck. Keep us posted. I will.

All right. Take care. All right. Bye. Bye. All right, Brad, Ariana's new man.

Yeah. Have you heard Tom Sandwell say anything about him? Well, I did. I saw, I think paparazzi caught him in the airport and Tom mentioned he was his new man yeah have you heard tom sandoval say anything about him well i did i saw i think paparazzi caught him in the airport and tom mentioned he was happy for her um he did mention at one time we were at the house um not knowing about him it was relatively new they i mean you know ariana first of all it's so great to see her happy um tom at the time didn't know about it but they met at a um a wedding in

mexico i was actually supposed to go with her tom and her were supposed to go together obviously circumstances changed i had last minute problems right before the switch getting my passport renewed so ariana went solo with some other friends from new york because it was a new york friend wedding um they met out there, only talked, like started to become great friends. And she told me about it. It was really awesome to see the smile on her face and just hear it in her voice. And then she was like,

what do you think if he came to Coachella with us? Is that cool? And I was like, yeah, absolutely. So we got to meet him, spent the weekend with him. I have a rapport with him now. I mean, I just talked to him yesterday. Great guy. I told him I was going to tell everybody that he's 5'8", but he's not.

He's 6 feet. Yeah, he looks tall. Yeah, he's a tall guy. But super, super nice guy. And I think she's enjoying herself right now to put a heavy label or this or that on it. I don't think is what they're looking to do, but she's, she's happy. Did you think this has the, I know they're not looking for a label right now, but do you see potential with this relationship? Yeah. I mean, from the

time, I mean, we spent five days in a house together. We all didn't leave each other's side of, you know, of course, when we went to bed, but the guy is giving her attention and is very genuine and has really adapted to her friends. I absolutely could see this going somewhere. What do you think Ariana has learned from this experience? Because I got to say, as from an outsider, there were times watching this season where just as a viewer, I find myself just as a viewer i find myself frustrated with ariana like almost standing up for rachel watching rachel disrespect katie and her mom um there were moments with ariana being like hey listen she's not you know rachel's been nothing but kind and nice to me she hasn't done anything to me and things like that have you had conversations with ariana about you know like

her friendship picker and things like that like how how does conversations with Ariana about, you know, like her friendship picker and things like that? Like how, how does she see the world now, now that this has affected her and how do you feel like, even if you haven't talked to her, how do you think she's going to approach friendships, relationships going forward? Like what does she learn from this experience? Well, I think one thing about Ariana as her friend that I saw, and I think everybody saw is her loyalty to her partner. I think time and time again, when people came to her, whether it be about this or something else, she always stood by Tom because that was her partner. I think talking to her about the

circumstances, the blanket was pulled over all of our close friends' eyes. It does put things into perspective when you have a situation where Katie's a good friend of ours and Raquel is one way to Katie, but you get caught up in it. I mean, I'm sure everybody in this room has been caught up in it where you have a friend who doesn't get along with someone, but they get along with you, so you don't see it yet. But I don't think it makes someone a bad judge of character. I think you just have to be more careful on how you progress with once you receive that information you know what do you do with that information when you get it and she did process it and tom lied to her you know she she did ask him there was times

where you know she said it already as well like hey people are thinking this what are you guys doing and they completely denied it to the core and And I think now it's just taking the information and what you do with it instead of maybe always supporting the person that you think is being honest with you. How do you think Rachel justifies this situation in her head, if you had to guess? I think that's what I want to know.

I am flabbergasted by her. I don't know what she thought the end game would be. You know, and a lot of times when there's a cheating scandal, people pull away from someone if they know the other partner, right? But she dove in headfirst. She always included Ariana and us and just really made it that she was a better friend to Ariana than previously she was with Sheena.

So I don't understand. Do you think there was almost like a way of convincing her? Like almost like I'll make up for fucking her life partner by inviting her to parties? Almost like she was somehow, do you think she separated the two actions? I don't know what she thought, to be honest. I'm actually very much looking forward, because Andy asks her that. What did she know what she thought, to be honest. I'm actually very much looking forward because Andy asks her that. What did she think the outcome was going to be? I think going back to what I said earlier, I think Tom had a plan. And I think that their idea was

that they wouldn't show signs of a relationship until after Tom and Aria officially broke up, which is still going to cause some ill feelings because it's in the friend group, but it probably until after Tom and Aria unofficially broke up, which, you know, this is still going to cause some ill feelings because it's in the friend group, but it probably wouldn't have been the disaster that it is now. It was, yeah. Do you have any sympathy for Rachel with the presumption that Sandoval

has been kind of the quote-unquote mastermind behind this and maybe, you know, influencing Rachel. Or do you think there's no kind of room for grace and that regardless of what Tom said or did or manipulated or his position of power that she 100%, you know, should have been fully like accountable for her choices and actions. Yeah. You know, my, my take on this with both of them, if you asked me which one was more at fault, uh, I would absolutely say Tom. I mean, he was in the relationship, but when it comes to having grace for maybe her being coached or led to believe or influenced, I don't have sympathy for her. I mean, I just don't see how you could do this

to one of your closest friends. It's unfortunate that we haven't seen a remorseful side, but then if someone's going to carry on a relationship for eight months, are they really going to be remorseful? Is it genuine remorse? I don't believe it is. I don't know. I want to believe, as from a mankind standpoint

like i i don't like how our society has you know just kind of going to this kind of black and white kind of label like they're you know yeah narcissist this and it's just like that's just not how the world is and as as horrible as this story has been you know the sad reality is is like this happens every fucking day right you know it doesn't make an excuse not to downplay it but like this is not like like this has never happened right and and i want to believe that people can learn from mistakes that people can wake up and realize how selfish or self-centered they've been and how hurtful they've been so like do you think that rachel and or sandoval can come around or learn or do you think one of them has a chance to redeem themselves or like where how do you see that well i think the interesting thing is and you

just said it too you know people learn from mistakes for me personally this wasn't a mistake this was a full-on choice. I think a mistake would have been they made out the next day they told Ariana, we were drunk. This was a mistake. But this was a choice. This was something they continued to do. They continued to lie to her. They continued to lie to all of their friends, almost all of their friends. So it's much bigger than a mistake to me. I would hope that they can learn and grow from this. You know, they both have released statements that they are trying to learn and grow

from this personally right now. They're on a reality television show. You know, how do you really transform while you're still doing that? Right. I just don't see it. In the finale or whenever it was, whatever episode, when Sandoval goes to Raquel's house and the whole like, I love you.

They love you. That whole thing happened. But also the like, I can't kiss you because the cameras are on. Like, we can't kiss. That was such an odd scene to watch. We had heard a lot of rumblings about that. We have also heard that it was not refilmed though because of the fact tom didn't like the way that scene looked you know this is all hearsay per se we had heard that tom wanted to redo it and

they said no this is it this is real this is raw i also can't see them cutting out a kiss i mean in the reality of the reality world imagine if they would have kissed like people would have lost their minds right so i'm not in a position to want to protect either of them at this no and that's just it it's not it's not about protecting it's like okay let's unveil what happened and give people the the truth i mean that's that's what they wanted that's one thing about this show is you know they're they're real people these are real things that are going on in their lives and i just can't see them refilming it um in fact as long as i've been around that doesn't really happen ever you know what i mean like there's things for pickups like if they make sense to

the storyline everybody knows that kind of stuff but you don't get like a refilm so i i can't see that happening do you think sandoval really changed when he turned 40 or do you think that in reality he's never really changed especially if you go back and watch season two with christian and things like that again back to the premise that like people aren't like all good or all evil you know i feel like at the end of the day tom swartz's sandoval has never really changed in the sense that when, when everything's good, when everyone's happy, when he's even not involved, he'll be a good friend. You know, again, she didn't even mention that. He said, you're part of this. You know, he, he, he knows how to make people feel good. Right.

You know, he knows how to, you know, compliment people. But, but when you are in the crossfires between tom sandoval getting what he needs for him to feel validated or for him to feel special or important then he has loyalty to no one right and do you think that's all yes and do you think that's always been sandoval now that you look back i mean when, when you think about it, that's someone's DNA, right? That just doesn't probably start up in a year, especially your 40th year of life. Yeah. It's probably always been in there, but maybe he has never felt the need to

bring it out that much because he was getting what he wanted. Yeah. I mean, an interesting thing to think about, too, is as a close friend in this circle, Tom was on a high. He's been on the show for 10 seasons. His band was touring and he was making great money off of that. They just opened up a bar. So theoretically, he wasn't at a low point in his life. So it's really interesting that this happened

while all these big positive things are happening in this life. I think that's the thing. I think the 40-year-old midlife crisis, it's a bullshit excuse. Yeah. I think in reality, as we get older in life, our decisions matter more. Sure. We have more responsibility. Going back to looking at the Christian and Sandoval relationship, that was nine years ago. So you're talking about some late 20-somethings,

which in the LA Vanderpump, you know, waiting tables world, that's like, you're all a bunch of teenagers, right? Right. And so not that you're making cheating any less more acceptable, but like the stakes are just lower when we're younger and have less responsibility.

And so to me, Sandoval's always been Sandoval. The only thing different now is the stakes are higher. The relationships are more serious and more meaningful. But Tom has always had this idea when, you know, I'm going to be the greatest friend to everyone else when I don't have to give up anything to do it, when I don't have to make sacrifices. But when I need something, when I want something, when my needs aren't being met, when I'm feeling insecure and I need validated, nothing's going to stand in my way and I will run over and

through anyone to get what I need. I mean, it makes sense. Yeah. Yeah, it makes sense. Maybe as like a final note, you showed up for Ariana during like the most probably difficult time in her life. And I think it can be so hard when you have friends experiencing such pain. You can't change the circumstances creating it. But can you share a little bit of like from that experience and like being there for a friend, like any advice you have for others who are trying to support a friend through like a really difficult time?

Absolutely. for others who are trying to support a friend through like a really difficult time. Absolutely. I mean, I think first and foremost, if you're in a situation like I was, you have to remove my personal feelings about the other people in the scenario. And I said that the very first day that we started filming again, I said, I'm putting aside all of my feelings towards these other people because I'm going through something. I'm here to show up for you. And the rally around Ariana was amazing. I mean, we have an amazing inner circle and a widespread circle of people that showed up. But I think it's just being there for them, asking what they need and encouraging the friend that's going through something to say, yes, I need the help. Meredith, one of her good

friends said this to her and I said it too. When people say, are you okay? Do you need me to come over? Do you want me to pick you up some food? Most of the time we're just programmed to say, it's okay. I'm fine. I just am going to lay down, but we really need it. And I think that's what we kind of stressed with her. It's, this is your time. No, one's going to think you're selfish. Like if you need something, we're there for you. And so establishing that right away, I think really helped her get through it too, because she would be very vocal to say, can you come stay at the house tonight? Or can we get something to eat? You know, something as little as that, but it's so important.

Yeah. You hate feeling alone in those moments. And you're right. It's always easy to be like, no, I'm fine. But you also don't want to burden people. So it's like a catch 22. You're like, yes, I want you to be here with me, but I don't want to inconvenience you. And the last thing you want to do is be alone with your thoughts and have a fucking Sandoval. Yeah.

Living in your house. Right down the hall. Yeah. Well, anything else before we, I just just don't i don't want to send you home and have you be like oh shit i shouldn't know i'm trying to think i mean i you know you mentioned it earlier i think bigger and better is just on the way for her yeah and the way that people have embraced it you know sister is in every commercial we live for that i said do absolutely everything like this is your time just do it you know it's

you know she deserves it and you know a lot of people out there probably look at this like hey i got cheated on i get broken up with and i'm not getting these incredible deals but she's in the public eye and i think that's you know part of that comes with it but has she been getting heat for that yeah you know some people on reddit are like, oh, look, she does every Randale. I'm like, well, she doesn't. Come on, you guys. She should. She should.

I 100% agree with you. I tell her to do everything. It's exciting, you know? So, yeah, I just I'm so excited to see where everything goes for her. And it's so great to see her feeling happy again. It's so great to see her feeling happy again. Do you hope in the future that you can reconcile your friendship with Sandoval if he's willing to take the accountability he would need to? Or have you just given up all hope that that is possible? To be honest with you, I think ultimately long term, I wish him growth and that he can change from this.

But I really don't see a friendship with Tom ever again. What about Raquel? No, I think it's kind of same in for both of them. Tom, I've known, like I said, 11 and 11 and a half years. Raquel's probably been around for five, six years, six years. But still, the betrayal, not only to Ariana, but to our friend circle, I just, I don't think i can move past that i don't necessarily want to see horrible things for him in life you know i hope he does learn and grow from this but there's not going to be a friendship all right well brad we can't thank

you enough for taking the time and giving your insight to skandaval uh we can't get enough and you've been very generous with your time and the information. Well, thanks for having me. Appreciate it. Yeah, we'll have to have you back. Don't forget, guys, we have another episode of Better Date Than Never tonight live at 9 p.m. Eastern. Again, we can't thank Brad enough for being so generous with his time. Subscribe, rate, tell your friends, five-star reviews, all that fun stuff.

If you haven't checked out our Ask Nick episodes, do so. All these amazing stories of our callers calling in, that much and more. See you back on Monday for an Ask Nick. Bye. Bye.