The Viall Files - E612 Reality Recap with Manon Mathews Plus Vanderpump Contracts, Political Secrets, and The Golden Bachelor

Episode Date: July 18, 2023

Welcome back to The Viall Files: Reality Recap Edition! We are joined by Manon Matthews to talk about all things reality TV and pop culture - including Nick’s weekend with Kelsea Ballerini and Chase Stokes, Vanderpump Season 11 filming, The Golden Bachelor reveal, and a potential dark side to Sean McLaughlin’s family. Then we break down Episode 4 of Charity’s season - did Brayden deserve to go home, or was he actually speaking the truth? And who is more likely to win Charity’s heart - Dotun or Xavier?  “She’s a f*ckboy magnet.”  Start your 7 Day Free Trial of Viall Files + here: https://viallfiles.supportingcast.fm/  Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to [e-mail] to be a part of our Monday episodes. Join us for our new LIVE show on Thursdays at 9PM ET/6PM PT on Amp, available in the Apple app store. Android User? Listen here: https://www.onamp.com/   To Order Nick’s Book Go To: http://www.viallfiles.com  If you would like to get some texting advice on Office Hours send an email to [e-mail] with “Texting Office Hours” in the subject line! To advertise on the show, contact [e-mail] or visit https://www.advertisecast.com/TheViallFiles  THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: IQ Bar - This episode is brought to you by IQBAR. Now get twenty percent off every IQBar product, plus free shipping when you text FILES to sixty four thousand (64-000). Lume Deodorant - Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code VIALL at https://www.lumedeodorant.com/viall  #lumepod Paramount - Your Great Reality Escape is with Paramount Plus. Stream Now.  Sundays For Dogs - We worked out a special deal for our dog-loving listeners. Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to https://www.SundaysForDogs.com/VIALL or use code VIALL at checkout. Episode Socials: @viallfiles @nickviall @manonmathews @alison.vandam @dereklanerussell @liffordthebigreddog @genevievegoodman 

you're crazy what's going on everybody welcome back to another episode of the vile files reality recap edition we've changed we slightly augmented the name while you were gone okay see i saw rr in the calendar and i was like i'm not gonna be away and then the first thing i do is be like someone made a little typo but i'm now now i know no well that's another part of the reason i said it was i was like times are changing yeah well the household is in full force amanda is back from her sabbatical sabbatical no i called it a life i called it a life class a life journey a life her sabbatical. Sabbatical? No, he's literally been changing it every week. A life journey.

A life journey. Sabbatical. Like, I don't even know. I was soaking up quality time with my grandparents. It's Chrissy 2.0 when he said she was going to be a park ranger. Anyways, we're back in full force. We have Genevieve, Amanda, Allie, Derek, and our special, special guest for today's recap, Manon Matthews joins us.

Woo-woo! Wow. Hi. Manon Matthews joins us. Wow. Hi. Hi. Hi. Thank you. For the listeners, Manon is waving, but she's only bending her fingers. It's the influencer.

I think I'm really famous waved. We ran into each other at Golden Heart. Well, you know, you stalked me. Yeah, I stalked you. Yeah. Golden Heart. Where was that? What's that place? Harvest Moon.

Harvest Moon. I was in a deep, deep conversation. And then you walked in. I was like, ugh. And I tried to be present with my friends. Didn't we run into each other earlier or met some other time? I saw you one other time from afar. But we have talked about you coming on.

Yeah. Multiple times. And here we are. Finally. Finally full force. We did it. So much to get into. Reality recap.

I mean, you know, The Bachelor took some time off. And then in that time our show has evolved and crushed into it blossomed into so much more and so we're here to recap your bachelor episodes obviously obviously but there is just so much more to cover that we can't possibly just designate an entire episode solely just on bachelor related content so if you're here for the bachelor we got you it's covered covered. It's cool. But there's also so much more. So we don't want to pigeonhole ourselves into just Bachelorette recaps

or Bachelor recaps. So reality recap. Yeah. Freestyle. You could argue anything's a reality recap. Truly. Keeping it real. Yeah.

You know? Yeah. All reality. Thank you. It's all reality. It's all reality. Yeah. Yeah.

You want to... Cool. All right. Great momentum, guys. Great. Yeah. You want to? Cool. All right. Great momentum, guys. Great. Yeah. This is the part where you guys. First reality recap is going really well.

Crushing it. Okay. Well, speaking of, did you guys see that we have a new golden bachelor? He was officially announced. Yeah. We've been waiting on this show for a really long time. So far, first reactions, 10 out of 10. I want to go on the show.

To date a 71-year-old? Guys, if he looks like that. You all agree with me. I know you do. That would be such fun drama if all the women are in their 60s, 70s, and then there's just one bitch in her 20s who's like, hey, I'm really mature for my age. No, they should. Oh, my God.

I mean, they should. I don't know about 20, but like 39. I'm sure they'll get some 40-year-old. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They'll be like, who's the babysitter? This guy is a catch. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'd be like, who's the babysitter? This guy is a catch.

He is a 71 year old grandpa from Indiana who will star as ABC's first ever senior citizen leading man. Does he know Ben Higgins? Is that how they found him? Ben Higgins is from Indiana. Not everyone in Indiana knows each other. There's not a lot of people in Indiana. There's not a lot of people in Wisconsin.

Oh, you know, I know everyone in Wisconsin. Okay. A retired restaurateur and doting father and grandfather, Jerry, or Gary, sorry, it's pronounced Gary, lives in his dream house on a beautiful lake, just like your lake house. Oh my God. Ben's parents live on a lake, I believe. He's often busy hosting barbecues, playing pickleball, cheering on his favorite Chicago sports teams, four-wheeling.

Oh, so he's active and spending time with friends and family at restaurants and local haunts. It wouldn't shock me. I wouldn't shock me at all if Ben somehow knows this guy. He married his high school sweetheart at some point or something. So if he's a Chicago fan that tells me he's from upper Indiana. Yeah. What a head of hair.

Yeah. Do we think it's real? Who cares? Yeah, I think it looks like Jim Jeffrey specials. Wigs for everyone or wigs for no one. That is, I mean, it looks real, but either way, it looks fantastic. He looks 49. He probably dies it.

You think he probably dies it? Yeah. Yes. I think it's 71. That's just fine. You don't just have that. His facial hair looks good too. He looks, and keeping with Bachelor kind of casting standards, he looks very tall.

Oh yeah. Like look at him in his freaking outdoorsy very tall. Oh, yeah. Like, look at him in his freaking outdoorsy Harrison Ford. Oh, my God. He looks like the ad for, like, a senior living facility.

Like, because he, like, exudes confidence. And you're like, oh, that man has a vibrant social. He looks like an ad for, like, whiskey. Know what I can't wait for?

I cannot wait for? What? I low-key hope for it. Okay. But not really. I mean, I don't wish this on gary but like i just can't wait for they start filming the season and then like some woman or woman comes forward to be like 34 years ago like i fucked him and he didn't call me back you know

like he's just calling him out for his fuck boy ways in like 1960 totally yeah i thought you're gonna say you're waiting for him to you can't wait for him to say i've fallen in love with two women oh well that's that too no but i want the stakes to be even higher yeah i want i want someone to come out of the woodwork and release like old love letters yes you know oh my god i don't think no because he married his high school sweetheart well that's why it would be even more scandalous if someone yeah that'd be like those things to say you know people like cheated but didn't talk about it back in the day yeah you know you get like a voicemail from a landline you know gary uh gary i don't know nick's like gary fucks gary looks like he absolutely looks like he fucks that looks

like a guy who's like what was his profession restaurateur restaurateur yeah oh yeah the guy works in a restaurant and he wasn't like fucking slinging his dick around come on give me a break let's be real i put my mom up for the show i'm really disappointed that she's not gonna you did yes she's a catch she's 69 do we have do we have pictures of mom i don't think why did you say she's 69 like you're being like... Just to be an idiot. They would be so cute together and she's really funny too. I bet.

I don't know why they didn't take her next time. Hurtful. You could have been my stepdad. I'm really curious what the age range is going to be of the women. Yeah. They have to cast someone who's 20 years younger at least. And that's 51. Yeah, wow. I want someone in their early 40 younger at least. And that's 51. Yeah, wow. I want someone in their

early 40s at least. Yeah, but I want her to be difficult. Who's there for the role? It will be the drama. Yes. No, they cast one nice one and one drama one. Yeah.

What kind of dates are they going to go on? Like, hey, we're going to go pick out our tops? Can 71-year-olds bungee jump? I think so. Oh, no. Heart. Cardiac.

That's intense. Well, I mean. I'm sure there's some who absolutely could and would, but I feel like with the show's insurance, they'd be like, uh-uh. Nobody was like over the stage. Maybe they all have to do like an EKG. Yeah. You know?

I've done shows before where they make you take an EKG. That's the date. That's the date. You passed! So we're going to do some blood work real quick. We have the same blood type. I'm excited. I'm trying to find when it comes out. Probably this fall. But how are they going to do that with BIP?

We've got a full slate. Oh God, I'm exhausted already. But for Gary, I'll do it. When does BIP air? Bachelor in Paradise for anyone wondering oh wow man and just like what the fuck no i watched it all but i didn't know that abbreviation um likely air early mid-september okay so it might over even yeah they'll use bachelor in paradise to sell golden golden bachelor but then bachelor starts like first week of January. I could see that.

What's your point? Where is it going to fit? It doesn't matter. It's going to fit. Yeah. Or they would make it maybe like a Tuesday show. But Bachelor in Paradise is on Tuesdays. These are the problems that I have.

Yeah. Oh, well. We'll find out. They've got a lot going on. We'll find out. Are we happy with Gary? I'm happy. I'm very happy.

I'm excited. You couldn't get better than Gary. I wasn happy. I'm very happy. I'm excited. You couldn't get better than Gary. I wasn't really sure what to expect from this whole Golden Bachelor, but after seeing Gary, he's giving me hope. Fantasy Sweet Week? Are these people going to fuck? Are we going to watch them all make out? Oh my God.

Yes. Okay. I feel like- Do we like that, Manon? I don't know. I don't know. I'm trying not to- Like wet kisses?

This is a stereotype, but I feel like they both they put both hands on each other's faces when older people kiss do you know what I mean because they have to aim I think it's going to be really big guided and

can you imagine Gary going in and then missing it's like straight earlobe Gary next time let's try that again but really charming

and I think he has a hearing aid my dad has a hearing aid. My dad has a hearing aid. You know, like the very discreet hearing aids. Very charming. And there's beauty in getting old. I think Gary's making getting older looking graceful and nice. Yeah.

Totally. It's expanding our minds. It's interesting that they jumped straight to 70. What about like the 40-year-old? Like, what about that? Like, I wanted to see that for so long well they tried that with claire didn't go well well no but not everybody was but that could be interesting like a all divorced season of the bachelor every single person truly

yeah maybe maybe the senior bachelor will give us some more of a spin because i agree with you man and like yeah i'm like 24 you're not even you don't know 50 somethings like the divorcees like the second chance at love bachelor kind of you know stuff like that you know where everybody has kids but i think that's what people kind of wanted they when they were rooting for michael a to potentially be the bachelor that was kind of going to be the story that would have been great i would have loved that but maybe because i'm older now would have employed a lot of babysitters. That's amazing. Do you think there's going to be like a group of like the widower group and then like the

divorcee group and then the like singles group in the Golden Bachelor and it's going to be like cliques? Like, you know, like I could totally see like the widows being like, yeah, I've never had a failed marriage. You know, like throwing some real shade at like the divorcees. What kind of women are they going to get? Do you think you think they're going to be high drama? I just feel like at that age, there's like not you've worked through all your insecurities.

Yeah. Well, it depends on the age. I think you'd be surprised. But you also. Yeah. Have you seen. I know some 60 year olds that are talking some shit. So all the Facebook moms.

Yeah. I also feel like one thing I feel like after spending so much time with my grandparents, it's like when they will state their observations aloud whether it is one that you thought would be shared with the group or not like they're gonna say how they're how they feel that's true there's not gonna be a lot of shadiness they're just gonna be out with it well also the you know like that's a great point i think the bachelor has been around so long we've seen it even in this episode which we'll cover just like the i know how this works i know what i'm supposed to say you know i'm a best behavior say what what you want about brayden

whatever the fuck but like nothing is more annoying than a bunch of mids uh acting like they have a connection that they don't than taking out on someone who does and i think when you have this group of of people who i'm guessing aren't going to be as familiar with the show or just don't fucking care because they're old, they're going to say how they think and feel. And it might lead to a more interesting and authentic and more dramatic. I don't know. Like, I don't know if they're going to be yelling at each other, but I think you're going to get some like really funny and witty observations and maybe even kind of outlandish ones. Yeah. From from our cast. Right. And it's also I think it's going to be yeah from from our cast right and it's also

i think it's gonna be wholesome like i think it's gonna be a very uplifting season like i think there will be drama and some crazy moments but i think all in all like it's just gonna be people who have like lived and seen the other like side a little bit more and have really positive things to contribute they're gonna be like we're going to san diego and the women are gonna be like san diego they're just like say out yeah about like not being that excited do you think it's the same filming like running into the hotel room jumping on the bed like so thrilled to be there um side note nick yes were you hanging out with chase stokes and kelsey ballerini this weekend oh briefly okay because uh i found something on instagram and i said to myself, is that Nick?

Yeah, that's me. Okay, great. Just wanted to clear that up. Yeah. We were at the Acqua di Gio Giorgio Armani. That was perfect. No notes.

On Saturday night. Yeah. Natalie and Kelsey have like struck up. Well, they've ran into each other at a couple events. And so like they've gotten to know each other briefly. And so we we said hi had a really brief conversation uh met met chase uh i hope they're okay with me saying this but i gotta say what a lovely couple they're

great i love them i i mean we didn't hang out with them too long but in my brief interaction action of of of i talked to uh kelsey a little bit met chase but it's like you know how some couple you kind of observe them they very much like i would i'll say this it was very clear that the other person very much made the other person a priority they were very attentive and affectionate but like not over the top like a very they seem very happy which she deserves they seem they both seem incredibly happy and very attentive and not in a like performative way

but like in a like these people really care about each other. It was really it was very happy for them. They seemed very happy. Sometimes you see people like a couple at a party

and like you're like white knuckling his arm. Like you're holding onto something. Or like there's something going on underneath the surface. No it was just a very

like just very they really care about each other. It was very sweet to see. Or like there's something going on underneath the surface. No, it was just a very, like just very, they really care about each other. It was very sweet to see. They look like back to back. I know. They're about to like, you know in the movies, in the finale where it's like, I got your six. Yeah, like they would have separate conversations,

but they're always very like self-aware. They're always very aware of where their partner was. It's like, yeah. Which, you know know now and i like to do that but like very lovely couple yeah they seem very happy for anyone interested in their in their relationship setup status i hope they're okay with me saying that but yeah it was a fun time it's one part joe jonas good dj he was djing really enjoyed his set i don't know much about the craft like i don't know what makes a good dj but i i found being like, what a funky tune.

You sound like a senior bachelor. I sound like Gary, yeah. I wanted to be like, hey, Joe, do you have a playlist on Spotify I can follow? Was it songs that you knew? Yeah, I mean, they were just good remixes. I really enjoyed it. Shout out, love.

Lala and Katie were there. Oh, great. Say hi to them. They're up and filming. Raquel is now Rachel. It's Rachel now. I know. Raquel is now Rachel. She's officially left the mental health facility.

And she will now go by her original name, Rachel. A source told ET after months of therapy, Rachel decided she wanted to go by her government name moving forward. And a source also confirms that Levis has checked out of the meadows in Arizona after spending two months at the mental health facility. Rachel is now spending time with people close to her.

She is also negotiating her contract. Despite rumors that she'd officially signed on to another season of Vanderpump Rules, TMZ reports that Raquel, Rachel, is still in contract negotiations with Bravo over her return to the show.

According to page six, Rachel wants more money. Quote, she wants to get as much money as she possibly can so she is playing hardball, a source explained, adding that the Vanderpump Rules cast

are going on a trip to Lake Tahoe next week and the hope is that Rachel and Bravo will have reached a deal and she will appear. As the source put it, for the right price, she'll be there.

Wow. Well, I heard from, I can't really say whether it's a reliable source or not, but it is a source that would know. And they said as of yesterday that they weren't sure if Rachel was back on yet, which caught me by surprise, but that would confirm what I'm hearing there.

You know, the taking the name Rachel back, love that. She sounds like she's really put herself in, you know, immersed herself into therapy. So I hope that's going well. What do we think about her playing hardball? I mean, like, why shouldn't she? I mean, it comes across as a bit, well, you can make the argument

that if she was truly sorry and remorseful for what she did, that it would just feel dirty to profit off of said infidelity and demand to be maybe the highest paid cast member. Like you are insisting that you be rewarded for your bad behavior. You could argue that. Everybody else gets the brand deals.

Like she got the opposite of brand deals. Like she would use a product and everyone would be like, no. If I'm her, I would get every cent I could. I feel like a big part, there was obviously a lot going on with the decision to be involved with Tom the way she was. But I feel like a big part of it was like her not standing up for herself. So the fact that she is like, I'm here to advocate for myself and know my worth could be a step in the right direction.

Also, like if she does come on, she knows she's going to be crucified. Oh, yeah. It's like hazard pay. Yeah. It's like, truly it's like yeah it's like truly yes i mean i'm her lawyer you are an underwater welder i'm raquel on vanderpump rules like everyone she she knows that as soon as she steps in it's going to be hell also the way they're like she might appear like someone's gonna open their closet when they get to the airbnb and in this closet, it's kind of fucked up.

But like Tom, Tom and Raquel are the reason they got nominated for an Emmy. Like, I don't think they like deserve like applause and praise or credit, but just kind of technically the show's been around for nine other seasons. They didn't sniff an Emmy before this happened. Yeah. Well, I think the whole but I think you can also say like the reaction, though, of Ariana. the show's been around for 900 seasons they didn't sniff an emmy before this happened yeah well i think the whole but i think you can also say like the reaction though of ariana it was a perfect storm and yeah obviously like sheena in the last scene like brilliant performance i get that but it still doesn't happen unless well like we were talking about with harry and megan you know that's just that got as many views as this season did. But I feel like what they did with that documentary docu series wasn't as great.

I mean, it was a great last few episodes. You know, they were given a gift and they definitely, you know, put a bow on it. They did a great job. Everyone rose to the occasion. Yeah. So to speak. Do we think like the Lala's and the Katie's are going to call her Rachel? I don't.

I feel like they were using it as a dig for a while. But now that she's kind of reclaiming it, will they do the opposite? My two cents like you got to move on at some point. And I think they got close to that point at the finale where you just become the bully. First of all, Katie is the least problematic of the group. of all katie is the least problematic of the group you know even at the reunion she she had a couple like comments but she wasn't beating anyone down and i get why lala you know we've covered this already but at this point i think it's just going to come across as bullying if if if they keep going where cal has spent two months in a mental health facility. I think you got to give her a chance. You got to

give her a chance to see what kind of growth and what kind of like self-work she's done. And honestly, I think Lala will do that, right? Like Lala has preached about having made mistakes in the past and doing the work and being better for it on the other side. So I think she owes it to Rachel to give her a shot and see if the work she's put in has actually made an impact. Otherwise, if she comes in and they start just like,

oh, you know what? Raquel now, because you want to be called Rachel, they're going to look like fucking bullies. Yeah. The question is just like, how do you make Raquel's presence like justified?

Because I feel like in general, it's a lot of like, why are you here yeah how do you make Rachel's like what is her in with this group if she's going to show up because obviously no one wants anything to do with her and so I feel like with a lot of their points they'd just be like you shouldn't be here right now you have no right to be here so that's like kind of the question is how are they going to frame it as Rachel being like inserted into the drama I mean they're everyone knows it's a show. Did anyone really believe that

when Sheena was getting married in Mexico that Katie was there for any other reason other than they had to film a TV show? That's a good point. She was on a vacation, Nick. She was on a vacation. Yeah, so Rachel will be on her post-mental health therapy vacation

and coincidentally just find herself in the same hotel as nine other people who wish her just nothing but suffering and pain. So that'll be the storyline. Well, I hope she gets her bag. This episode is brought to you by IQ Bar. Now get 20% off every IQ Bar product, plus free shipping when you text FILES to 64000. I just I'm happy that I found IQ Bar. I think it's a really good product.

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F I L E S to 64,000. Get your discount. That's right. Text filesi-l-e-s to 64 000 that's files f-i-l-e-s to 64 000 message and data rates may apply see terms for detail i was in new york this past week and it really is true they say it's the humidity that gets you it's a dirty heat in new york city it's a nasty you feel it on your body stinky heat Like you walk down to the subway and you smell every odor known to man. Nothing came in more clutch than Lume because I was like, it's a wet, dark, icky place down here. It's not just my armpits. I could use some deodorant. You have a lot of sweaty places in your body. Yes. But more importantly, it is truly so clutch. It has no harmful ingredients. So even in your most sensitive areas, you can put it on without feeling any kind of concern about chemicals or any bad reactions from your bodies. And

it just keeps you feeling fresh and okay and non-stinky. Lume, keeping you fresh on the go. Is that their tagline? It should be. Aluminum-free. We love that. Baking soda-free. We love that. And parabound-free. We love that even more. pH balance for safe use below the belt. Lumi's starter pack is perfect for new customers. It comes with a solid stick deodorant, cream tube deodorant, two free products of your choice, like the mini body wash and deodorant wipes and free shipping. I only want to turn to the experts when it comes for any kind of health stuff. That is why I am so glad Lumi is founded by an OBGYN who really knows what

she's talking about. She made a pH balanced product that is 100% safe and suitable for all the bits. As a special offer for our listeners, new customers get $5 off a Lume starter pack with code V-I-A-L-L at lume deodorant.com. That equates to over 40% off your starter pack when you visit Lumi.com and you code V-I-A-L-L. That is L-U-M-E-D-E-O-D-O-R-A-N-T.com. Code V-I-A-L-L. Speaking of this weekend, are you guys kind of grossed out easily?

Manon, how about you? Depends on like about what? Blood or pot or are you guys pimple who's who's a pimple popper in this in this room like you're feeling like just you raised your hand are you gonna show us something really lift your shirt am i the only one that's like i'll do it if i have like if it's one on my face you mean on somebody else i find that there are two people in this world people who love a good pimple pop and people who don't and if like especially in a couple like someone likes to pop their partner's pimples aren't you

not supposed to do that though for scarring yeah also i don't know if natalie's thrilled by this because i went to the bathroom with her last week the point okay wait i went to the bathroom with her last week she was just like she was getting annoyed at her skin and she was like and it doesn't help that nick's always like i'll pop it i'll pop it you're like i have a needle in the night i'm a child yeah no totally anyways so i had a benign cyst on my head where okay it's in my oh i remember this yeah i had to go get it removed right it was a cyst and whatever i wasn't really worried about it you know like it just you know but they did some tests on it everything's fine and when they took it out they're like oh we didn't like we didn't get all of it you know but like it might or may

not grow back but a couple weeks later it like seemed to like re-emerge but also seemed like be filled with like fluid and stuff and then it like got real big when i was like doing a lot of physical activity for a period of time and then it shrunk back down and i went back to the doctor i said hey man like this fucking cyst is back like can we try to get all of it and he's like well let's give it a few months and like let's make sure that we can get all of it i don't know whatever i by the way if you're listening i don't need you guys i'll send me all your like medical advice i i'm i'm good i'm gonna we've been talking to my medical health professionals anyways we're on our way to the georgio amani aqua Gio party in which we had a lovely

chat with Kelsey and Chase. And Nally was driving. Per usual. Per usual. Also, she just gets motion sickness pretty easily. Not to justify it, but she was driving and I was a little loose. I was a little, you know, loose. And all of a sudden, I'm touching my cyst, and then I felt a little fluid.

I was like, did I have, like, moisture in my hair that I didn't, like, that caught, like, a pocket? And then I look, and it's nighttime, and it was like my cyst was leaking. Oh? time and it was like my my cyst was leaking oh and then i kind of looked at it and like applied some pressure and then what came out was well a lot and wow what color yeah i have a picture show us white put it up there white yellow it's yellow i'll see it i would i would like how was the smell no it doesn't smell like anything. Interesting. It came out pretty white, pretty non, like, it didn't look infected for anyone concerned. But it came out like, I thought it was the rest of the cyst. It looked like something that was hard. I really didn't know.

I was just like, holy shit. I don't, like, I have a spike coming out of the top of my head. We pulled over, immediately called Natalie's doctor. She works for a plastic surgeon. It's like nine o'clock at night. We're like, holy shit, this is what's going on. What do we do? We're on the way to this party.

My brain is bleeding, basically. I don't know. I have something coming out of it. He's just like, just get the fluid out, pull over. So we went to a CVS. I got sterile gloves, sterile cotton balls, and hydrogen peroxide and Neosporin. And basically, it was just hard pus. Okay.

And we cleaned it out. Did you love it a little bit? Yes. Yes. The moral of the story is I was kind of in heaven. I was kind of thriving. How was she? I mean, Natalie works in heaven. I was kind of like thriving. How was she? I mean, Natalie works in surgery,

so she's not disgusting and infatuated like I am. She's just more meh, whatever about it. Do you want to see it? Yeah. Ha! Pass it around. Oh. It's like a teacher show and tell. It was like a giant

I thought it was going to be like a video of it coming out. Oh no, it was just a photo. Just draining on your forehead. I thought it was going to be like a video of it coming out. Oh no, it was just a photo. Just draining on your forehead. I thought it was going to be huge for some reason. Did I oversell it? No. No.

You just said pimple popper and I just started picturing It just was real. It's been draining ever since. My. I don't see anything on your head now. Well, it's underneath,

but yeah, I've been keeping it real clean. I like to zoom out and see Nick's eyes looking into the camera. Don't do that. Ali! It looks like a grape.

It's really gross. So did you patch it up for the party, or is it in your hair? Well, I mean, I couldn't, like, stitch it up or put, like, a band-aid in it. So I cleaned it up, applied it. We were, like, 25 minutes out, so I applied pressure to it. And then I put some Neosporin on it and brought a couple of cotton balls with me. Cause yeah, I had a couple of times that I like tapped my head. It was my last, this part of my head was bleeding.

Yeah. Basically. I feel like, you know, obviously menstruation, there's a lot of other stuff going on, but you did have the experience of being like, I might leak. Did you pop it? Yes. I finally felt like a woman. I feel like

if you hit yourself then it pops is that what happened well it had basically the most of it had popped so at this point it was just like

a little leakage but great yum how charming well that was exhilarating thank you anyways

if there's any Pitbull poppers out there it was truly it was your Superbowl it kind of was It kind of was. It kind of was. One final note. One final note.

Before we get into this episode. Do you guys know that Sean McLaughlin's father has been kind of in scandal for years? Yes. Sean on this season. Sean who got a rose at the end of this episode. Sean. Allie's kindred child spirit five head. Ken winner. Ken. Yes. Allie grew into the forehead. five head. Ken winner.

Ken. Yes. Ali grew into the forehead. Double denim. Jean jacket. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I did see this. What? This man. This man right here. He smiles like this. Twinsies. Twinsies.

Yep. Yeah. So he's, it turns out like Sean's dad's kind of a bad dude. So his father is Steve McLaughlin, who was a county executive in New York. He assumed the office in 2018. He previously worked as a pilot and a banker. He was then elected to New York State Assembly in 2010 and represented the 107th district from 2011 to 2017. In 2017, at the height of the Me Too movement, the Wall Street Journal reported that Steve was censured by the New York State Assembly's

Ethics Committee for violating the sexual harassment policy. The outlet claimed that Steve asked a female staff member to send him nude photos, but he denied the allegations. In December of 2021, Steve was indicted for two felony counts, including grand larceny in the third degree. The politician was accused of withdrawing felony counts, including grand larceny in the third degree. The politician was accused of withdrawing five thousand dollars from his campaign fund in November of 2017 to pay off personal debts. But on January 25th, 2023, McLaughlin was acquitted of the felony counts by a jury after one hour of deliberations. First of all, can we just say the triple crown of douchebag jobs, politician, banker and pilot.

And any one of those, if you do one of those jobs, there's a totally solid chance you are a great person. But to do all three of those is the most incriminating resume I've ever heard in my life. Steve likes to fuck. He asked for nudes. He was embezzling campaign funds. Yeah. What else? Two felony accounts, including grand larceny of the third degree.

I don't know what the second one was. He's withdrawing $5,000. Yeah. So it? Two felony accounts, including grand larceny of the third degree. I don't know what the second one was. He's withdrawing $5,000. Yeah. So it begs the question, you know, like, listen, there's a lot of bad parents out there. Just the sins of the father, as they say, aren't necessarily the sins of the kid. This is a show where part of the process is to take your lead and insert them in four families. Uh-oh. For hometowns.

We're down to six. What? I know. This is a- What's going on? It's a truncated season. We're not getting the same amount of episodes, clearly. So I'm guessing this is the last week before hometown.

So Sean is one episode away from introducing Charity- To this man. To this man. That's why he seems sketched out. I don't know if you noticed that last episode. He seemed a little like worried about hometowns.

But acted like it was about, you know, vulnerability. The guy who asked for nudes. But he was very adamant. McLaughlin said, I didn't do that. I never revealed a thing. They have no proof that I did

because I did not. It appears to be a political hit. Who's been the most vocal person in the assembly the past seven years that's me who stood up for their constituents like no one else me so we prove my innocence and then they go back and take another bite at the apple and they say we couldn't nail them on sexual harassment so let's get them on something else the lady doth protest too much. That's a crazy response. That is a bananas response. Because the banana's down. I know someone who's pretty heavily involved in New York politics, and I asked them about him. They said, pretty shady dude.

Okay, so he's either going to be like his dad, or he's going to go the opposite way. Yeah. Right? That's what happens usually. Right? Yeah. Children. Children. I'm not seeing opposite. He lives in Florida. Not even with those eyebrows? dad or he's gonna go the opposite way yeah right that's what happens usually right yeah children i'm not seeing opposite he lives in florida with those eyebrows yeah he went he went from new he's in florida yeah he's doing a candle i don't know i could see opposite the cashmere when he said it's cash yeah i was like that part was funny a little bit harrowing though can i for before we

get into the bachelor can i complain about movies for a second yeah they don't make movies like they used to i know i saw this thing you know like now every movie now is like mission impossible 32 you know like and listen i love a good mission impossible it was really good i saw yesterday it was freaking amazing but the other ones i were like meh but this one was actually very i've enjoyed most of them yes and like i've also liked the marvel movies but i i found this page on on twitter that i as a kid one thing about me that i always really like to do i don't know why but i always like to like look up box office numbers as a kid i'd be like nine years old i'm like who's trending number one at the box office i don't i don't i just really liked it for some reason.

Anyways, there's this page on Twitter that talks about... They'll bring up random years and talk about the number one at the box office for a certain year. 1994. Titanic? No, Best Friend's Wedding. Sorry. Go ahead. It's okay. 1994. I just want a list of movies that crushed it. Number 10, 1994, Pulp Fiction. Number 10. Wow. Pulp Fiction.

One of my favorite movies of all time. Number nine was Interview with a Vampire with Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise. Good movie. Kristen Dunst. I think Pulp Fiction. Kristen Dunst is a little vampire. Absolutely. Kirsten.

Sorry. Kirsten Dunst. Yeah, well. Thank you. Thank you, Manon. I said it first. I said her name, Kristen. Number eight, Four Weddings and a Funeral with annie mcdowell so good that was number eight

number seven was dumb and dumber number seven a class one one of the best comedies of all time pulp fiction dumb and dumber same year six speed keanu reeves speed was a massive blockbuster just an absolute gem of a movie Derek is grinning ear to ear number five was The Mask also with Jim Carrey gosh the introduction that's when we were introduced to Cameron Diaz that was her big in that red dress oh my god is a

like a middle schooler I truly love like okay I'm in love with women and I wanted to be like right now I know these kids might be saying I'm gay. That's when I decided to become Jill Currie. Number four, The Flintstones. I guess family film, everyone can see it.

I don't know. Three True Lies with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Awesome movie. Have you seen True Lies? I haven't seen a single one of these. These are all phenomenal movies. True Lies. I have a character flaw where I haven't seen a single one of these. These are all phenomenal movies. True Lies. I have a character flaw where I haven't seen most movies.

Honestly, if none of these movies are ringing a bell for you, do yourself a favor and go and watch them. They're great. True Lies. Arnold Schwarzenegger plays some CIA spy and Jamie Lee Curtis is his wife who's bored with her life because she thinks he's like an accountant or something. And it's funny and it's fun.

It's just a great movie. Number two, Forrest Gump. Oh my gosh. Surely. Really? You haven't seen Forrest Gump? No. It's Natalie's favorite movie.

And number one, The Lion King. That's my all-time favorite Disney movie. No, no. And the honorable mention. Clear and Present Danger here has been four greats. Stargate was pretty good. Legends of the Fall with Tom Cruise. The Client.

Frankenstein. The Junior. Also, Shawshank Redemption. Oh my gosh. The Paper. Natural Born Killers. The Shadow. The Crow with Bruce Lee's son who died while filming.

Oh my gosh. I mean, there's just like so many good movies in that one year and I can't like name any movies that come out this year that it's just like, it's always some Marvel bullshit. Yeah, all these stand the test of time. You could watch them today and be like this is brilliant, whereas like the last 10 20 years, I'm like

what's out there? If it's not a blockbuster remake, it's all fucking remakes and like... And like some good foreign films, like Parasite rocked. Oh yeah, Parasite. But like, yeah, it's like been a drought. I saw, do you know, the new Dungeons and Dragons movie,

my boyfriend was like... Someone was watching it on the plane. Is that with Chris Pine? Yeah, he was really... And I was like, I don't want to watch it. Like, I don't know why I was being very resistant. And then he, the thing that sold me, he was like, it's like the Princess Bride. Like he was like, it is a movie movie.

It is so good, you guys. It is awesome. It is like a movie movie movie. It's like the Princess Bride. I'm also wondering, is it because we were younger and like we were so impressionable then that everything's amazing when you're that age and then it just sticks with you like music as well. And so it's like the people that are like five now watching Dungeons and Dragons or whatever are going to remember that for them.

Like later, I've always thought about that. Like, is it actually incredible or is it because it imprinted on us when we're so alive and like everything's amazing because we're five and seven. But you weren't a Dungeons and Dragons fan and you liked it. Well, I the game my brother and dad would play on family vacations. And I was so annoyed. I was like, are you kidding me? I want everyone to play Monopoly so that we can get way too competitive and storm away. And so I had like a low level resentment vaguely.

But a lot of my friends, like, I don't know. I'm nerdy. All my friends are nerdy. So like a lot of Dungeons and Dragons community members and my friend groups. Okay. Need a break from reality? Ever feel like you just want to escape? Well, cheer up, Buttercup,

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Every season like I said earlier In the episode than a bunch of fucking Mids a bunch of people who don't Have a shot who Have no connection with the lead Whine about the time they're Not getting and then blame people who get time thinking that it's not charity making these decisions like a bunch of guys

who probably claim to be progressive and like care for charity and they're kind of what are they playing what are they what's the what's the term the kind of savior the white knight like a savior complex yeah yeah they're just like i'm gonna fucking i i i i'm so fucking sick of erin shut the fuck up i am too you're not her fucking savior you're not her hero you're not there to protect her you weren't casted to make sure that charity is okay it's not your fucking job she's fine she's able to take care of herself shut the fuck up and let things play out amen and i hated that brayden made so much fucking sense when talking because nevertheless he is still like most

certainly a fuck boy who isn't ready to settle down who wouldn't give charity straight answers and like should have gone home he seems pretty self-aware though he's kind of just like yeah when he's describing himself he's like yeah i think i opened my mouth too much and i need to just be quiet and then it cuts to like next week they all have the same exact concerns that brayden has they're like i don't know if i'm ready for this i don't know if i you know it's like he just says what he think he's out loud because he's 24 to me he's harmless and i actually like really liked him when he first got on the show i mean i didn't he didn't need the earrings and the scarf, but I liked his... He seemed like he was genuinely joyful in the world, and that bothered the people that weren't.

Yes. Totally. He didn't take himself that seriously. And the show, that's what I find always annoying about the show. They like to punish people who, kind of like what we talked about earlier, it's just like, how dare you question this? And how dare you question the sincerity of the bachelor and because you even question the possibility that people we're going to crucify

you we're going to label you something that you're not and we're going to mob mentality because you're at the top and we're going to bring you down with these kind of loose accusations and and make it more meaningful and sound more evil than it actually is. And at the end of the day, you just aren't buying into the collective, what we all agree that we're going to say, which is, oh God, I'm already falling in love. And this process is working for me. And oh my God, my connection with Charity is stronger than I can imagine. Meanwhile, you've spent six fucking minutes with her. She clearly doesn't like you.

If she wanted to spend more time with you, she would. The reason you're not getting time is not because of Brayden. It's because Charity doesn't know your name. Well, it's also because Aaron keeps talking about it. And it's like he's bringing it to the surface. And I agree with Brayden where he's like, you got insecure and you're like trying to put me there when I don't belong here. Like just stay in your lane, dude.

Everyone needs to just stay in their lane. And it is easy to be like, how dare you? Like, yeah, what you said. How dare you question this process? Yeah, easy for you to commit when you're not even involved yet. Like Brayden, now that he actually had a connection, he's like, oh no, I don't want to actually hurt this person. So he's just thinking about it a lot more than the other people are. 100%.

And someone who's been in that world, like getting any amount of actual real time, it is magnified. It does feel like so much more. So it makes sense why Brayden feels like his connection with charity actually has some substance. And while he's comparing it to the Shons of the world, where it's like you haven't even talked to her.

You don't know anything about her. And you're talking to her like you're in a 10-year... You're talking about her. Like she's the mother of your children and you need to defend her. You're in a 10-year relationship. Yeah. And it's just like, what the... You guys are insane.

You all sound fucking brainwashed and fucking. Yeah. He's like, you guys all drink the Kool-Aid. I'm just drinking a pint of beer constantly. When Brayden said that Sean looked like Prince Charming from Shrek. Oh, my God. That's almost accurate. And the thing that's never been said.

It was one of those things where I was like, is this the most mature way of engaging with the world? No. Is seeing you do a fake butt chin talking shit about him like better than like you being like yeah i am a morally flawed person about brayden too he does on the girl scout date when they're like who's the most intelligent not brayden they said they'd eat him it's all okay because they all say it and i'm like you're bullying you're bullying him you're not any better like that to me as a person that would feel really hard to have every guy just like come down on you yeah i'd be like i would eat you really when you think about it he took it in stride

i mean he's pretty endearing honestly like he's pretty authentically him and i do appreciate that about him he's not trying to like be liked or like be like in the group he's just like doing his thing and i'm i don't want anyone to taint him i don't want anyone to try to rob his joy the only thing he has going against him is that he is too young for this process he's in no position i mean we don't know him but from what we're seeing it seems like he's in no position to settle down anytime soon he's a fun loving good looking fuckboy who's just gonna have some fun probably for the next four years dating. And hopefully he is compassionate with the feelings of the people he dates. But nevertheless, he's probably not ready to get engaged in eight or nine weeks. And credit to him to have that self-awareness. Yes, you can criticize him for like, why'd you show up?

He was given a fucking opportunity. But yes, he's willing to be more honest than all these other guys. He at least has the guts to say, I don't know. I mean, technically, all these other fucking guys are just love bombing. Yes. Motherfuckers. You don't even know her yet. You don't even know who are willing to say whatever they think Charity wants to say to get him to leave.

And Brayden left on his own. He was like, you know what? I don't think this process is for me he didn't wait for charity to send him home and i love how charity pretended to the guys as if it was her decision all while being so completely rattled like i just it's just i'm just so confident about this decision i'm like you are no you're not you are just spiraling charity charity loves the fuck she was still. You could tell that she had that little fire in her where she's like, okay, yeah, no, I know I didn't do anything wrong.

Yeah, no, it's fine. Yeah, no, yeah. She's like, no, it wasn't you. I just wanted you to know it wasn't you. She's like, I know. I know it wasn't. She's a fuckboy magnet. I mean, she seems aware of it too.

She's like, this is an old pattern. Yeah. But it's hard. The body just remembers, right? The body's like, well, this is familiar, so I want to go to it. And this is to me like this is love because this is what I know love to be. But I know her soul wants to go this way and try to get a I loved that voiceover, kind of hearing Charity's inner monologue of, he reminds me of my ex. He's complimenting me. He's saying all these things.

But I'm projecting this. I'm blaming him. He's not even doing anything. He's just trying to be nice. I loved hearing all that because hearing Char charity kind of have that inner monologue, that self-awareness of, you know, we talk about like the spark on this show all the time. Like, hey, the spark, it's not exactly what it's on.

It's not as all cracked up as it is. Not all it's cracked up to be. Yeah. Thank you. And here Xavier is giving her the spark. This, I feel it's like charity. You could tell wanted to like xavier like she was like to say something that makes me think that you're amazing and like yes just waiting and she wanted

to eat up whatever he was serving but she had this self-awareness to know that that was dangerous for her yes and the fact that she wanted to sit down and still question him and his past relationships does show like that growth of of her getting out of this just generally attracted to very good looking potential fuckboys. And then what he gave the story that actually kind of proved like, OK, there's something there. That's not just my old feelings of he's attractive and he's saying all the right things although that being said i like the other guy what uh yes don't i like their connection i feel bad for dotan because dotan he is pitching a perfect game he is doing he's great everything right he's so endearing and he doesn't stand a fucking chance to Xavier. You think so?

It's over. It's over. What? It's absolutely over. I think if she's smart, she's going to go for Doughton. Not smart, but I think if she's thinking about the long... Like, I think he'll be a better match in longevity. I will say this.

In fairness to Charity, this is how this shit works on this show. Because no matter whether it's 12 weeks, or in this case, it seems like Charity's getting less time than most leads. I think they've shortened her. They're giving her less episodes. I'm assuming it took less than nine weeks to film. And at the end of the day,

she's never going to get to know any of these guys. Doesn't matter how much time she gets with any of them. She will only get to know the very tip of the iceberg of any of these men. But she can trust her eyes. And her eyes tell her that she wants to fuck Xavier the most. And you do. You can't discount your physical attraction, the natural chemistry, the intangible.

And you hope for the best on the other stuff. You try your best to qualify them and be like, you know, is this person crazy? Do they have any like glaring red flags? But other than that, you're just like, I'm not going to know anyone. So I'm going to pick the person ultimately that I'm the most physically attracted to who seems the most normal. And at the end of the day, that's Xavier. and he also seems like i mean fuck fucking phd he is studying like trying to fight ms of which his mom suffers for he knits he knits he's an incredible dresser absolutely incredible dresser that sweater french kiss i want to go shopping

with xavier like did you say french kiss chef Chef's kiss. I don't know. Sorry. Sorry. I just processed that. I want to French kiss Xavier. I mean, kind of. She's got a lot of French chef's kiss. I feel like she has a lot of chemistry with Joey. Joey's just there to be the next bachelor.

And they're doing a good job. And they're doing a good job. What a dreamboat. It's so obvious who her top three are. I don't know. I was wrong about Joey Harrington, whatever his fucking name was. John. John.

I got over John after he just absolutely blamed Brayden for his lack of chemistry with Charity. He's like, how could you do that to another man? It's like, what the fuck? Again, I remind the audience every season. So the scene of which you had, what's his name? John. John, sure. He's like Joey Harrington. Whatever. he's making out with charity right and then you see fucking brayden just standing there

so just a little behind the scenes for you all this is what i'm 99.99999 sure what happened brayden goes home in the limo and then you saw in his exit he's like you know i just felt like oh just like something left unsaid he goes back to his hotel room they're sitting in this compound right no one leaves the next fucking like immediately they might leave the next day or the next two days they have to book a flight whatever the fuck in that time period a producer went up to him and said hey man i don't know it just felt like yeah it just felt like you had more to say man like if we got you another time with charity would would you want to do it he's probably like fuck him man like i don't want to leave on a bad note yeah exactly so i said sure and the only window they gave him was they're like all right well walk in he had he had no idea it

was going on he probably had no idea there's a cocktail party going on they said walk in take a right walk into that room and go talk to your girl and he walked into a room well she was already talking to john that happens every fucking interaction starts like he did not come up with that on his own idea and was like i'm gonna interrupt everyone interrupts everybody off yes everyone interrupts every conversation is interrupted by someone else the only they just choose to show certain ones but every single one is interrupted so like brayden didn't do anything he was just given an opportunity and he said yes to it meanwhile joe john whatever the fuck your name is like she doesn't like you if she wanted to keep making out with you oh by the way

her reaction to seeing brayden was phenomenal when she double take when she turned around and goes oh that was incredible she was not mad that was so good she was not mad but i honestly think that had she not gone i think xavier saved her from brayden because again like don'ton handsome nice he's he's great but he just she loves a pretty boy it's so obvious how. I feel like Doughton though, he has, I noticed he has his two ear piercings and one of them is like on the inner lobe. And I was like, that's stylish. I think Doughton's adorable.

Just as attractive as the next guy. He's wonderful. He seems like he holds the space pretty well. Whereas I felt like Xavier kind of was in her face on the bus. He was a little too. He was like so close to her. It came. Yeah.

It's all weird. He's, it's just too close. It came. Yeah. It's weird. He's, it's just all too easy for him. Yeah. He just, he's done this before. Oh yeah. He's just very charming.

It's like, he knows he's seven foot. He knows he's good looking. He knows he's a fucking PhD student. He's got charisma. Just like oozing out of his pores. It's like your cyst. Yeah,

exactly. Xavier is your cyst. Yeah. But he was, I agree with you, man. And's like your cyst. Yeah, exactly. Xavier is your cyst. Yeah. But he was, I agree with you, Madden. He was like almost a little invasive.

A little like And she was kind of like this. And I think that's what she was picking up on. It is, it is, it should be, I don't care who you are,

to be one of many courting the lead, your bachelorette, who is by all accounts a celebrity in the eyes of all the cast people, at least the first couple weeks.

There should be a power dynamic that the lead has over the others. And when it comes to the Bradens and the Xaviers of the world, they're like, I don't know, just like a cute girl. They think they're the prize too. Yes.

Yeah. And it seems so obvious. It doesn't flow're the prize too yes yeah and it seems so obvious flow with the show and it's so obvious that you know when when she's around these very again like don't handsome fella just as handsome as the average he's he is in the 90th percentile of like the human species of like just tall, good looking, quality, smart. Like he's a fucking catch. But compared to like the Xavier's, he just it's funny. I would choose Doton any day.

Yeah. Any day over Xavier. Yeah. I just I think he's more in his body. Oh, he's he's so which is attractive to me. Oh, yeah. I got you. I'm not even shaky.

Whereas Xavier's to there's something like, I got you. I'm not even shaky. Whereas Xavier is too, there's something, like when he was answering the questions at the dinner table, she was almost answering for him, like to make sure that he said the right thing so that we can stay in line with what I want you to be. I remember when I was watching it, I said, Charity, let him finish, which is saying something coming from me.

But yes, I picked up on that as well. Yeah. I was like, oh, she really wants to live in this fantasy, but also find out the truth. If you just let him keep going, there'll be more will be revealed, I think, with Xavier. What about the conversation that Brayden had outside on the field about she always being on? How did you feel about that? I think there's some truth to it. Yeah. There, you know, as the lead, you're, you're, it's like you have two jobs. One, film a TV show. That's actually number one. And two is to fall in love. And as far as it's like this kind of unspoken agreement between the lead and

the producers of, listen, we have two things we have to do in the next whatever eight weeks. We have to film a good TV show and we want you to fall in love and we really want both to happen and nine times out of ten they they can work in unison with each other but for a non-professional lead so to speak trying to do both it's very obvious to the cast members that and every bachelors do this bachelorettes do it i'm sure i was guilty of it everyone's guilty it's just like you can see them playing a role which is hard to fall in love with that i feel like love comes from this the vulnerability of me showing you both sides of the coin and where i'm scared and like are you gonna love this part of me so it to me feels like

that has to happen in order for that to break through like loving somebody yeah it's just so hard because it's like. You don't. If she was being like. Authentic. Not stepping into the role at all. Like when half the men were talking. She'd just be like. Zoning out.

You know. Like. It's like. She has to muster up this level of like. False enthusiasm. For the people who she knows. She's not going to pick. It's so tough.

It must be so hard. So hard. To like. Turn that off. Around the people you like. And I do think that's why. Like moments when like. The other week.

When she took Doughton up to her room. And like. They were just hanging out. Like I think think it's really clear that she is making an effort to do that with some of the men i just imagine it gets like it's really hard at the beginning when there's so many people you have to like be like uh-huh yeah and what's really crazy is that like in this environment you know so when she walked john who went home she was making out pretty hard with so logic would tell you oh my god she sent home the guy she was just making out with like that's weird but in reality in this environment it's just like all right i got nothing to say to you let's just fucking make out let's just kill time by sucking face and honestly here there is like it's almost

a negative if all you are doing is kissing that means that you both have nothing to talk about or the leads it's not interesting getting to know you so that it's like oh that's fucking make out because like and it's the conversations that actually drive like the relationship so so dotan in the room having a great conversation like really getting to know each other things like that but just making out she hates you i was gonna ask so it's not braden's fault you went home, John. It's the fact that you just made out. And John did say, like, I wanted to finish my conversation.

And in my mind, I was like, you're making out. And a question I had was, in my mind, it's like there's the talky portion. And then, like, once the makeout happens, that's how the conversation ends or like your time with the lead. Do you feel like that's pretty normal? Sure. How do you get back to conversation after you've been yeah but like each other but they're usually something like this like she'll have connections with a handful of people and then again there's

a natural chemistry so you feel like you're building a rapport with someone and some of the people are just like and again like when i was filming i was pretty sure i was gonna pick vanessa early on but like i had a real natural chemistry with rachel because like we just vibed we had great conversations there was a mutual respect, you know, like it was just great to get to know each other, you know, and that was the bond that we had. And so, but a lot of the other people, it's just like, yeah, we talked, but it was just like the dumbest conversations. Neither of us were all that interested in each other. It was just like, this is awkward. And so, yeah, i'm sure they had conversations but it probably

wasn't worthy of tv and if it was it would have a bunch of like awkward music over it because you could you could feel the awkwardness between the two of just like just not really being on the same page which you know happens all the fucking time in dating but it's much easier for all the guys especially the guys the guys are more guilty on the bachelorette i think than the bachelor of like lying to themselves like oh she's so into me it's just like oh we have such a connection all the guys, especially the guys. The guys are more guilty on The Bachelorette, I think, than The Bachelor of lying to themselves like, oh, she's so into me. It's just like, oh, we have such a connection. It's like, no. Yeah, that one guy with the long hair that was crying.

What was he crying about? Caleb. Her or the guys? And I just hope you end up with one of these guys. How about the show when they were talking about Neanderthals and they panned to Caleb? He's like, huh? He is a handsome, handsome man.

Neanderthal. But also kind of looks like the hottest caveman in the world. Every time I see the Chiron that says he's only 24, it's a jump scare. Oh my God, yeah. I'm like, what? What's going on? He looks like he could be fucking Gary's brother. Yeah.

Him and Brayden are the same age. Isn't that so strange? It is wild. They're like complete opposite energy types. That bone structure. The bone structure of Mount Rushmore. Oh my God. I mean, no disrespect to the wrestlers of Florida

because I don't know them, but I felt like he was such a tender man. I felt like the emotion flows so freely in a way where i was like oh absolutely you feel things deeply and i don't want that to be like used against you they all seem lovely when they're not being fucking petty whiny guys when they're not getting the attention they think they deserve yeah that's true kind of random but did we think the rainbow was cgi where was the rainbow again it was after they went bungee jumping i think so my theory is that there was a small rainbow in the sky again? It was after they went bungee jumping. I think, so my theory is that there

was a small rainbow in the sky and then they took other shots of the landscape because it was a perfect arc and they always like cut to the rainbow. Have you seen any rainbows that look a little janky? Yeah. Aren't they all just a... Oh, I've seen some busted rainbow. Really?

Maybe on the east coast, but Washington's a beautiful place. Oh yeah, coast but washington's a beautiful place selling it at the beginning it was like we are in stevenson washington like it was oh my god oh my wow the paris of the pacific northwest it did look nice oh totally but it was very hyped yeah extremely hyped what about the little girls? Oh. The Girl Scouts? That one that went deep. Protect that girl.

I was over it. I was over it. I loved them so much. Yeah, they were great. I feel like that was one of the moments where I really fell in love with Charity was when they were like, come back, stinky boys. And she was like, yes, stinky boys, get in here. She was having fun with it.

And I thought it was so cute. Do you think they were actual Girl Scouts or paid actors? Paid actors. Yeah, they were here. Like she was having fun with it. And I thought it was so cute. Do you think there were actual Girl Scouts or paid actors? Paid actors. Yeah, there were two. That one delivering the lines. I was like, how does she know what to say? The main one is on a very different pay scale

than the other two. The other two are just featured extras. I mean, they were all pretty good. There was a leader. She blew it out of the park. Yeah. She blew it out of the park. Guns a-blazing.

She was definitely, but that's like saying, you know, the lead of a movie, maybe their co-star, if given the lead, could have performed, but they just had more

of a meaty role. Yeah. I'm not saying anything. I'm saying they were not cast in the same way. Yeah. Yeah. The girl who did

the demon voice, I love her, like, not even saying hi to any of them. Yeah. Scaring them down. That was my favorite, for sure.

That was pretty great. She seemed real. Did anyone else get anxious about them eating the food? I was like, are they going to die? Yeah, I was like half, 50% of berries kill you. I'm making up the number. Did they go plant food, do you think? And do we think Brayden actually found some real beets? I don't know.

I don't think that this actually happened, but I kind of want to believe that the mushrooms Brayden ate were like ever so slightly Psychedelic Because he did look like a man on mushrooms He seems like he's on psychedelics a lot Which is nice You want someone to do mushrooms with you and watch the sun rise

Brayden They all got so mad that he wasn't wearing extra coats Also when he was like When he was saying to Aaron I'll fuck you up Brayden wasn't fucking around You could tell that Bray he was like when he was saying to aaron like you meet me like i'll fuck you up like brayden wasn't fucking around you could tell that brayden was like i'm tired of your shit and if you really want to do this like i'll kick the shit out of you yeah and you could probably would you probably no i mean like i'm i don't know what aaron's up to aaron well very tall he's very

threatened for sure but like i i'm pretty sure i i'd bet on the guy i'd bet on the ex-veteran rather than whatever it is that aaron especially still if he still has that staff that he found so early into the day the big walking you know the staff oh sure he just seems like he enjoys life and it just aaron i don't know i'd i again i don't mind brayden that much at all i'm glad he's there he what would the show be without him nothing oh my god i miss him already i don't mind Brayden that much at all. I'm glad he's there. What would the show be without him? Nothing. Oh my gosh. I miss him already.

I don't want him to leave. Was it Doughton or Xavier? That was like, I think it was Xavier. He's like, there's more to me and I just don't want to be pigeonholed. I know I'm tall and an athlete. And I'm just like, yeah. And I'm tall and I'm athletic and I'm smart. And I'm gorgeous. But there's more to me. There's more to me. She said the same thing about her too. tall and i'm athletic and i'm smart and i'm like just like gorgeous gorgeous but like i just more

to me and it's like she said the same thing about her too she's like yeah like i'm good like yeah like i'm goofy and pretty but like there's more i just love it when people say that and they list off like some really great characteristics about themselves could there be you listed every characteristic just so tired of being the super successful, smart, good looking and like emotionally like well-rounded person. This is way more to me. Like I'm also a little toxic. And remember I knit.

I knit too. Remember that. Fun fact. The knitting is. It's unique to see that. It was a, I was like, oh, that's a visual. You think, do you think she should or will pick Doughton? At the end?

Yeah. Cause I think. I think she should. And I think it's already over and I think she's already decided on Xavier. I think she should. This one-on-one was... I think what you said is so accurate. I mean, I've been with my guy for three and a half years and I still feel like, wow, there's so much I

didn't know and this is so exciting but you're not going to get to know that and so she's only going to have a limited time to really see. So I think if she's looking going to have a limited time to really see. So I think if she's looking for longevity and a guy that can really hold her, I think Doton. But I think she's more excited by Xavier, I guess. It's a really interesting dynamic when you hear...

Which will fade. I'm really enjoying Charity as a bachelorette. She's a delight. She's so stunning. She's more vulnerable than I imagined she would be. I thought her background in psychology would would uh cause her to be a little bit more like a little holier than thou no just more more guarded and reserved and just able to kind of it's fresh yeah it's refreshing

to see her humanness to like like put up a facade and like not even facade just like have the emotional maturity to like talk herself off the ledge and not be so generous with like exposing her weaknesses and she's been very giving in that regard and so the dynamic between uh isavier and and dotan and like brayden i think was kind of like a a preview of like like, again, her past. She likes pretty men, not like, not just attractive men. Cause you, you know, there's. She also likes men that are into themselves, that value themselves. Seems like they value themselves. And she's like, I really like that. And which is attractive when a guy knows their worth and thinks they're special and is not relying on the woman to like, be the thing that makes them whole. That is so i think she's not wrong and being attracted to these people i just

think she needs to protect herself and that's what she's doing and she's scared and it is nice to see her humanness because you think that oh yeah they're therapists it's like yeah we can see what's better for everybody else but then our own lives we're like oh my god i'm a mess yeah and then dotan you have her relationship you know again it's him you know we talk about dating all the time right you go on a first date and then there's that that natural energy to want to get someone to like you and so you get nervous and what do you do you talk a lot you're checking in on them and and dotan it's like that power dynamic is you have Doughton, like focusing on Charity, letting Charity know what he sees in her, making it very clear that he does see her to the point where Charity's like, I've literally never had someone like court me

this way to like really make me feel like they truly understand where I'm coming from. Like, just like the juxtaposition to Xavier where again, you could see Charity in her more natural like dating state where it's like, I want him to like me. I want, but I want to like him. And it's her asking a lot of questions. And, but like, it's almost like she's pursuing Xavier and Dalton's pursuing her.

And it's this kind of a very fascinating kind of dilemma. So does she feel deserving of being pursued is the question? Yeah. Because that's, those are two different things. If she's used to making people feel seen and making them feel validated in her job and like held, can she allow someone to hold her? Big question. Big question. History tells us it's just so much easier in that world to just default to what you're used to with the logic of, well, you know, they seem good.

You know, like I've I've I've vetted them. I've asked them the appropriate questions. But at the end of the day, I'm going to go with what's the most familiar. Will the hometowns make a huge difference? Does it? No, not really. I mean,

in terms of like, yeah, I, I don't think so. I think nine times out of 10, the lead knows the first two weeks. And if they don't know the first two weeks, like usually this is also why I think Xavier wins because I think night one, she said, Xavier's my favorite.

Night one, they were first couple weeks. They have pictures of all these of all your suitors. And they're like, just give us a general idea. Who's your favorite? Kind of just rank them for us. And part of that is just like, who do you want to spend the most time with? Who do you want to prioritize? And they kind of you kind of remember seven, eight faces from night one,

and the rest you're like, I don't fucking know. And that might change a little bit early on, but you usually have a top two or three that's pretty clear. And then if you really like some really hard, they will save that one-on-one date to further along. So they probably saved Xavier a little bit so that you don't fall in love too early. But usually what happens is once you get to that date, you're like, yeah, no, I've confirmed what I already thought, which is, you know, and that they're my favorite. And her date with Xavier, the whole date seemed like I liked you the most from afar out of the limo, you know, the tea leaves. I liked your resume the most. And it was like her trying

to confirm the resume that he brought which that seemed like the whole date where like her date with dotan was more like hey i don't know if you're noticing me but let me surprise you and i'm going to show you who i am and i think she truly has fallen for dotan based off of what he is showing her and she has fallen for xavier just based on what she's seen from afar and she's just trying to confirm what she's already naturally feeling through just natural chemistry and things like that because it felt like a lot of the xavier date or xavier date was have you cheated on a partner before was kind of like the question that was did he confirm that he hasn't not really i really think they should just straight up ask and get and just be okay with whatever the answer is yeah because charity

was saying that her ex was so skillful at what they did and then xavier says that with him you will only get honesty so it felt like it was like this little someone has said that to me before and it was the complete opposite and i just i wonder how her body received that do you guys remember watching and how you felt like when he said it did you believe it but did your body go yes I trust that or were you like yeah he seemed pretty sincere yeah I think he he seemed sincere but I do remember still feeling a bit uneasy on the date because again I know we're only seeing a fraction of it it's really edited it's a lot longer than what we see but she went into it being like i don't want to be together just because we're attractive she had all these fears like he reminded her of his

her ex and all this other stuff and then suddenly it was like a couple vague questions she's like all good signs are pointing to xavier and i was like wow that was extremely fast for all the fears that you went into with this the only red flags i got from was what you pointed out was on the day portion of the day on the train where it's just like you don't need to lean in yeah relax back trust your energy like you're too confident right now yeah you're leading it a little too much yeah but i thought on their 101 i thought he was incredibly sincere and i was touched by his story and and i was like this guy this is over so because she was interrupting him a little bit i I'm trying to like, OK, read the energy from her perspective of like, why wasn't she as relaxed to just like listen to him during that? That's interesting.

Is that about her? Is that about him? Because there's such a fine line of like, is this my past trauma or is it my actually picking up an authenticity in this person? It is tough and maybe a little bit of both. authenticity in this person it is tough and maybe a little bit of both yeah and the worst part is when it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy of like it's a past trauma that like i'm projecting onto somebody else but then i make it true and then it only reinforces the idea that like oh well i need to protect this on everyone well because it maybe it's if nothing else it's just you know you look at someone like xavier and the it's too good to be true it's just like it's the

thought of it's like knowing in the back of your mind, if this person wanted to be a fuck boy, if this person wanted to fuck around and be disingenuous and maybe be unfaithful at times, he could totally get away with it. You know, he's smooth. He can talk his way out of problems. Like he has the power to suck, you know, and, and get away with it. And I think you, that's scary. I think Charity has a self-awareness of nothing else to recognize that, even if he's done nothing wrong, you know, but he clearly has the ability if he wanted to, to be a douchebag.

Can I ask, why were the men walking on treadmills so slowly in suits? That was weird. With their shoes. I was so confused by what was being accomplished. My guess is they were, you know, there's like a two or three hour window where it's just like, oh, it's cocktail night,

whatever. We'll just exercise. Everyone's getting ready. In their dress wear. No, they probably, it was probably like the, honestly, it was probably like the room

where they all got like mic'd up or got their batteries changed or whatever the, I don't know, fuck or whatever. And then they all got like mic'd up or got their batteries changed or whatever. I don't know. Fuck or whatever. And then they decided to like think they were being funny and like walk on a treadmill. And someone shot that. And then they edited in.

They were moving so slowly. Like that treadmill was on their suit. We don't want to sweat on the treadmill. Yeah. You don't want to get your sweat on. By the time you see Charity, you're going to be a mess. It begs the question. Like, bold to treadmill in the first place.

But I just thought it was delightful imagery. A nice promenade. Yes. to be a mess it makes but it begs the question like bold to travel in the first place but i just thought it was delightful imagery a nice promenade yes i thought this was a silly episode yeah jesse when they said his chiron was notable bigfoot enthusiast i was like jesse palmer's not notable about everything with peace and love but like he's a lovely man in a suit who does not feel like he is super out there and then it was just like when has this been a notable yeah thing but did you you could see him in many other shots you would have missed it if you weren't paying attention but i was paying attention they gave us some easter eggs yes he he was i mean i assume it was him but you could see like a big foot in the way background of multiple shots of multiple of the interviews yeah well i was taking in the way background of multiple shots of multiple of the interviews. Yeah.

I was taking in the Washington scenery and I noticed it. The producers do love a good Easter egg. On my roller skating date, if you go back and watch it with Raven, you know those little claw things where you put a quarter in and you get a stuffed animal? Yeah. Yeah, they put a kid in one of those.

Oh my God. So if you go back and watch it, there's just a kid sitting in one of those claw machines. It's worrisome more than silly. Is there ventilation? Yeah. Yeah, they put a kid in one of those. Oh, my God. So if you go back and watch it, there's just a kid sitting in one of those claw machines. It's worrisome more than silly. Yeah. What's the kid? I don't think they sealed it up in the back, but they just let a kid play it. It was just like a kid playing with a bunch of stuffed animals.

And they scan it, and there's just a fucking kid sitting there. That's really funny. Yeah, so they'll fuck... Yeah, they probably had Jesse in the background almost posing as Bigfoot. Yeah, I was playing with the Girl Scouts. Like I was like, this is what the show does well. Cause it's like, you can't bring Girl Scouts into like Love Island or like all these other

reality shows where it gets really messy and crazy. Where are your clothes? I feel like Bachelor's playing to their strengths right now. I guess. Yeah. I just wish they would just the playbook that where they get the drama. It's like, can't they get it from something else other than just whole like, you don't want to get married in seven days?

You're an evil person. Just like they can't do better than that. Yeah. I want to see them fight over rooms when they start traveling. I want to see I want room selection to be a bloodbath as it is on. I feel like most group trips that you go on. That's a great point. Also, just another like when they were all going after Brayden, you know who you didn't

hear shit from? Dotanen and Xavier. Not a peep. Because they're confident. Yeah, because they don't give a fuck. They're like, I don't need to worry about this. Right? Where was Joey?

Yeah. Joey, not a peep. It's such information. I hope Charity can see the insecurities from these men and go nope red flag right like you don't want somebody that's like so threatened by i think show up later i think she already sees it which is why they're not getting attention which is why they're blaming it she likes aaron a lot i don't think she does okay good i think aaron's i i think she likes him more than i want her to because I find him to be. He's like, he's my protector. So shut up.

I hate that. He's not protecting you. I hate that for her. Like you're good. She doesn't need him. She doesn't need protecting. So like that's already like, and when a guy inserts that of like, I'm here to protect you, you're, I don't trust you.

I've had, again, I've had that before. And I'm like, this was not even needing to be said. You just put this here as if I'm in danger. I've never thought I was in danger. Yeah. And what danger is she in? Because she's talking to a guy who's like pragmatic and thinking, you know what?

I think she's weak, sir. Yeah. I fucking died when, when they were like, how, what, like when they're in front of the Girl Scouts and I saw,

I saw the word content written down. You could kind of see it. And they're all like on one knee. It's like, fuck you, Aaron. You literally don't know her. And they're all like on one knee. It's like, fuck you, Aaron. You literally don't know her. He won that because he said the right thing. Because I loved her reward, that bullshit.

I love it. That's when I really loved Brayden. I just want to feel content. And he's just standing there so confidently. I mean, it was such a dumb answer of Brayden, but like the defiance in him. He's actually thinking of what's true for him, which is actually amazing. But he didn't have a motive of like, I want to say the right thing so that I win the thing. He's like that John Lennon quote where there's like the teacher said, what do you want to be when I grow up?

And I said, happy. Like, you know, he's doing that. Yeah. I was laughing so hard when he just said that because you knew it was like the wrong answer, even though it was the oddest answer. But I don't like how charity is rewarding that behavior. I don't either. I don't think he should have won by saying on one knee.

I'm like, you don't know that. You just said that to win and you did. And this isn't working. Question. A bit controversial okay is charity a recovering pick me can you define pick me uh there's someone who is their default is to prioritize being picked and getting someone that they've decided in their mind that they really like usually by kind of superficial or like, you know, looks or chemistry or the spark and prioritize feeling validated and picked by

that person rather than building a strong mutual emotional connection based off of actual compatibility and, you know, things like that. I mean, based off of that answer of her picking Aaron, it's leaning towards that way. And giving too much credit for lines like, you know, getting down on one knee or just knowing she's insisting. And again, it's partly the show's fault because the show wants the leads to say this.

But I wish Charity being the family, what's her official title? Licensed family therapist. To validate behaviors like thoughtful, like, hey, I want to take it slow and get to know you and build this connection. Rather than validating someone who doesn't know her saying, I want to get down on one knee. I'm here for you. I'm only here to get engaged to you. In fact, I wish charity would reward the possibility of one of the guys saying, you're an amazing person, charity. There's so much about you that I admire, but I just don't

know if we're compatible. And as a result, I think maybe just I should leave. And I wish she would reward that rather than punish it and take it as rejection and get so rattled and then try to spin the truth to the other guys as if implying that she sent Brayden home when in fact he sent himself home and it was the fact that he sent himself home that bothered her the most. I think I mean if it were me and Brayden was like I'm I don't know I'm so hesitant this whole thing is scaring the shit out of me i wouldn't be like well then why are you here i would hope that i would have the bandwidth as a as a woman as a human to go i really appreciate that honesty sometimes i feel the

same way yeah i hear you do you want to stay i'd love for you to stay um but if it's too much and you're not like a hundred percent feeling like you could see this then yeah leave but like it's too much and you're not like 100% feeling like you could see this, then yeah, leave. But like, it's not personal to charity. He's made that very clear that he's struggling and that he's not sure and he's being honest about it. Like, that's what every woman says that they want. I mean, that's what I want.

It's just like, I just want your truth. That's what's most attractive to me. You admitting right where you're at right now, but you being like, no, you are the one and I'm going to be here until the end. I'm like, get away, get away, get away. But that's just me. I have often said that going back on The Bachelor, in my 20s, I was a serial monogamist. I had a lot of bad breakups and did a lot of self-work. And I felt like I really found myself in my late 20s, early 30s. And then I went on The Bachelor and I felt like I really kind of found myself in my late 20s early 30s and then I went on The Bachelor and then I've said this where I felt like I basically relapsed back into who I was as a 21

year old and so stakes are high I guess yeah this environment can do that and I think this environment while obviously a great opportunity for charity and I'm glad she's our bachelorette and i'm enjoying watching her it it doesn't it exposes everyone well why because we're around our peers in a college like setting in a high school like setting so our memory is going back to like oh i remember this being around you know drinking and and you know in the real world you're not like that you're like on your solitude and you're you're growing and you're living alone or whatever and you're meeting people in a very different thing and so they're probably unconsciously going backwards which makes sense yeah it's like how you go to your like childhood home and then you're like oh my god i should not like yes the tone i'm using with my mom like i'm not saying anything bad but i am like getting your high school reunion you're

like oh my god why am i am intimidated by the popular girl again? Why am I shrinking? I need to expand who I am now. I'm this person. And you have no support system. You know, you don't have anyone there who knows you well enough and has seen you evolved into this mature adult. No, your new support system is a bunch of like, again, like I've said, friends who would

tell you to buy the boat because they want to go on your boat. And they're like, yeah, no, totally. They're the best you're like I love that for you and it's just like it's not you're generally not getting so we're giving her a little bit of a pass good advice yeah totally I just don't think her and um what's his face with the hair

they are not a match Caleb is that his name was that the wrestler Caleb no sorry the dad the dad they're not a match to me at all Joey Sean no with a hair no Sean Sean they're not with the dad with the bad dad yeah with the bad dad they're just not a match to me at all no vibrationally it's all off why is he doing so well I don't know nothing about him tracks maybe they want about charity maybe they want

to meet the family I don't know maybe they're him tracks. Maybe they want to meet the family. I don't know. Maybe they're trying to keep him for maybe it's going to be an interesting hometown. Well, good question. Are we all in agreement that Doughton, Xavier, and Joey are locks? Yes. But who's the fourth? Tanner.

Tanner maybe. He'll pop out of nowhere. Aaron. You kind of have to give it to Aaron at this point. Yeah. They've given him a lot of time on the screen. Tanner did get more air time this episode. Yeah, Tanner could be a late bloomer. I was like, I've never seen you before. Who the fuck is this guy? Yeah. Could be a late bloomer. So you got Sean,

Tanner, Aaron. We have six left. Yeah, Sean, Tanner, Aaron. Those are the three that got the roses, yeah. Because Xavier, Doton, and Joey, we're locked. We're good on them. So those are your top three. And then we have three more. One spot available

for hometowns. It's got to be Aaron. Right. He fought too hard. He protected her too much. I'm going to say I'm going to say there's going to be

I'm going to say no. I'm going to say Tanner. That'd be fun. I'd rather it be Tanner. I like him so far. Yeah, they were hanging out in the woods. Like deep in the woods.

I feel like Aaron's going to go home on a one-on-one next episode. Nice. Nice. That's my prediction. And then Brayden's going to come back. During their one-on-one. We're going to see another pair of flip-flop shoes. Someone does come back in the previous-

Oh yeah, is it an ex? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the brother. It's the brother. It's Nehemiah. Honestly, it's probably the brother. It would be dirty if the producers would bring back her ex. They showed, like, a ring or something, right?

That'd be dirty. Is it Brayden? No, I think Brayden's... If he knows what's good for him, he'll just... I don't know if Brayden knows what's good for him. He doesn't. Alone. He retreated to where he felt safe.

The party bus. Yeah, I stand by that. It's funny that he, like, came in through the woods. Yeah. Did stand by that. It's funny that he didn't come in through the woods. Yeah. Do you see that? Yeah. As if he was a Sasquatch with like his Birkenstocks. Yeah.

He doesn't need a lot of Birks. If only they had been Birkenstocks. Yeah. If he lost the earrings and the scarf. He doesn't need that at all. Or just have like a hoop. Yeah. Or like a stud.

The dangly. We got like two dream catchers going on. I feel like I've dated too many musicians. I'm like a little brainwashed in that area. That's the part I hated about it because it seemed like he was trying too much. Clearly he's got a big personality. He just didn't need it.

He didn't need it. But I also, I could see myself supporting a friend on a rebrand on The Bachelor. Like if they were like, oh, I'm really getting into this kind of style. I could see myself being an enabler and be like, yeah, no, go off. That's so fun. Go for it.

You don't make fashion. You do not take fashion risks on The Bachelor. That's just words to live by. Just don't do it. Don't do it. Unless you're Terry. Even if it's cashmere. I believe he's had the earrings.

Because for someone who only like really recently got back into earrings, wearing even like small hoops at first was like, ow, this hurts. I can't even imagine the huge earrings that he wears. He'd be in pain and he's not. I mean, he was in the military. I think he's pretty tough. All is well. Ear pain is like completely different. It's not like the army guys are drinking on his ears.

You have to get used to this. This is what the world is like. I would want to fight a war with a sinus infection well i think that about does it for the bachelorette uh madden you have is this a new book nah well when did it come out 2020 great i started writing it january 2020 and then which was a great time to write it and then it came out july 2020 wait that's great yeah it was It was really quick. Yeah. That's so impressive. I went through the craziest. You wrote it in like a month or? No, no, no. Like a few months. Took me like two years. No, but that is true. I had a lot of help. I had this indie publisher

that was just like really keeping me accountable and I had nothing else to do. And I already knew what I was going to say. And I, yeah, I had just gone through a huge, huge life transformation. I went, I got married and a month after the wedding found out that I more or less, for lack of a better term, like married a con artist. And that led to the biggest healing and growth opportunity of my life. And I was like, okay, you know, I brought everybody on my journey, anyone who had followed me on social media of this, this love journey and, you know, fell for somebody that was like a familiar thing. Right. And definitely got blindsided and taught me that like, oh, I wasn't trusting my gut. I wasn't, I have no ability to trust my body. I was trusting his words over my own intuition.

And this needs to change. I need to learn to trust myself. And so the book is not about that. There is a chapter of like what happened because, you know, I brought everybody again on this love story, but I didn't post about it. I did not post any texts. I did share about like the lessons that I learned from that, which is one, keep your heart open just because one man's in pain doesn't mean you that which is one keep your heart open uh just because one

man's in pain um doesn't mean you need to now shut down your heart and i'm really glad i didn't because i'm now with somebody else three and a half years later and we're pregnant and he's wonderful and he's the opposite of what i would ever choose in fact it's been a very slow burn he's not a roller coaster it's it's very peaceful i opened it up to chapter five immediately caught my attention the guy who cried in a strip club yes oh yes good times yeah how did that come to pass um my i think i was 23 at the time and my roommate who was like i lived with her for two months she's like i'm gonna go dance at this at this club if you want to come and i so i was just going to support her i was heavily drinking at the time.

And I went and I met with this guy and we sat across from each other and we got to talking. And he was an actor, but he was struggling like a lot of actors are these days and were at the time. And he started crying and tearing up. And I thought it was so beautiful and authentic. And I was just like, I've never seen like this kind of truth before. So I was captivated by it and then dated him for eight months and it began to be a little too much. What did you learn from that relationship? I was very newly not drinking right after that moment. And so he kind of, because he didn't

drink, I was like, I realized what I love even more than drinking is like love and attention. That's like my number one drug is like love and having that kind of like connection with somebody or the illusion of love. I think I learned from that. Well, he was very possessive and jealous and I just don't vibe well with that. I'm the only child. I do not like to feel like I'm controlled. My number one priority is feeling free enough to be who I am, where I'm at. And so through that, I learned I'm not going to be with somebody that's like, thinks it's just going to be you and I in the world and we're never going to need to interact with anybody else. And so that was like a true test of, I got to get out of this and choose myself.

Well, it seems like a really interesting book and I'm guessing, correct me if I'm wrong, Madden, but if you're someone listening to this episode and you are going through a rough patch in life and feeling like things aren't just working out and you are going through a rough patch in life and feeling like things aren't just working out and you're thinking everything's just kind of sucky right now, this might bring you some inspiration. Some humor, inspiration, guidance, if you've ever struggled with addiction or heartache. Yes. Because it will work out. And if you have that kind of narrative of like, everything always works out for me. I mean, we are what we say we are and what we tell ourselves is the most important thing. And so we tell ourselves it's funny. But I do love saying things will generally work out if you let it play out.

You know, if you are open to learning from your mistakes and you're open to kind of learn some lessons, things do work out. Yeah. Not the way you expected or necessarily wanted, but if you let the hurt settle and then you say, hey, what can I learn from this? Even if things weren't my fault or I felt victimized, but what could I learn? Things. Yeah. Having extensive curiosity is always very helpful to be like, okay, what did I learn

from this? What do I need to know moving forward? It's all information. If I just don't make everything, you know, we like to make things wrong or right or place people above or below us. And it's like, stand back, get curious. I'm interested to know more. More will be revealed.

Then it kind of just is what it is. And I don't have to make such a story out of everything, right? Like in my book, when I talk about the marriage and what happened, it's very easy to be like, he's wrong, he's wrong. Or I can go, okay, what did I learn from this? Wow, I realized that I wasn't really, I really had a sense of urgency when meeting this person. Okay, where's that gotten me in trouble before? How do I step back and pause when I feel excited and urgent and let things play out a little bit more? There's just so many lessons. And I think our biggest hurdles and our biggest hurt, that's where the most growth is. And it's such an. Like I really am so grateful for all like the

hard things that I've been through because I mean, unless we learn the lessons, it'll just keep happening again in some way, shape or form. But I feel like even my current relationship now is living proof that like I outgrew that old man and that was scared and didn't trust herself. And that's great. And I want other people to have the opportunity too. Also because when they get cheated on, a lot of women will, or people will generalize and be like, oh, all men suck.

I'm just not going to date anymore. And I'm like, that's not the lesson here at all. Like don't generalize. One man was in pain. He was hurt. Her people hurt people. It's okay.

Like he didn't do that to me. He was in pain. Right. And you can have autonomy without blaming yourself for other people's actions. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely.

We're responsible for how we feel. Like, you know, especially if you're a heterosexual person, your only experience in dating is to date the opposite sex and relationships are painful and hard and dating is difficult. And so you're going to, if you're a heterosexual man only dating women, chances are you're going to get hurt at some point by a woman and vice versa. And it's like, yeah, we have to be careful not to, you might, you might be able to say, I have 10 horror stories of 10 terrible men or 10 terrible women, but you haven't dated everyone.

And even if a lot of people suck, as I've always, you're only looking for one. And so you gotta, you always gotta shift through dirt to find gold. I love that. You only need one. You only need one. Truly truly there's so many out there just keep looking it seems like an absolute great book i'm gonna thank you for gifting it to me i'm gonna check it out uh such a pleasure having you on man thank you so much again absolutely and congratulations on the pregnancy thank you how far along are you if i may ask? Let me just show them. Oh, yeah. Robbed up ballet. For all the people watching on YouTube.

13 and a half weeks. We got it on the first try. 13 and a half weeks. Thank you. It's my dream to be a mother. So very, very excited. Very excited. Obviously, I went through all the emotions of fear and what does this mean about my freedom? And oh, my God, I'm scared.

I'm scared. Have you experienced any, what's the first 13 weeks been like? Have you any, this is surprising. This is what I learned. This is what I experienced. Yeah. I mean, I was definitely shocked and surprised. I just had made an assumption that it would take six months to a year based off of other people's experience. What did come as a shock. I was crying a lot. I mean, yeah, I would cry a lot anyway, but I was crying a lot i mean yeah i would cry a lot anyway but i was crying a lot like eat way more and so that was really interesting to me and trying to be like okay because i've always been somebody that in the past would just struggle with my emotions not struggle to feel them but

had judgment when i would feel them as if it was too much um and luckily the partner i have is like more please more, please let it all out. Like we love the feminine. Like I think the masculine energy is craving the feminine to just be like raw. At least that's what I tell myself. And so that was interesting. And it's, it's also lots of nausea, the physical changes. You know, I had moments where I thought, forget it. I think I just wanted the idea of having a kid. This isn't actually worth it. And so reaching my pain tolerance and just kind of, again, finding amusement in those moments and knowing that it'll pass. Again,

I had a great partner that kind of stood over me when I would say things like that. And he'd go, yeah, that's all part of it. This is going to pass. And so it kind of gave this levity. He's been really helpful in holding the space for all the emotions that I've had. And now that I'm in the second trimester, it's so much easier. I'm like, so I'm like more of the in the excitement common because the body's changing so much in the first trimester that like they say that that's one of the hardest parts. I mean, I'm sure giving birth is not. It's up there. Harder. And then having the baby and having your life change forever. But I'm just taking it one day at a time. I'm not going to, you know, project into the future and take on everybody else's ideas of what it's like to have it, you know, because everyone has different opinions or like, oh, my God, it's going to be a change your life. It's going to be the worst. And then there's other people like it's literally the best thing that's ever happened. This is my favorite portion of life that I've lived.

And I'm like, I like that one. I'm going to choose that one because I generally like to go in with my own experience. Like I did ayahuasca and not recently, just yesterday. Yeah, the first trimester was really hard. And I remember having people be like, it's the worst thing ever. Your soul's going to die. And I remember a moment before doing it being like, oh, I get to create my own experience. And then it reminds, I was like, oh, that's reality. I get to create my reality with the way that I see life and the things that I say to myself. the power is within me now. I don't have to succumb and be reactive to the world. And I remember having a beautiful

ayahuasca experience. And I was like, had I not had that moment before, that changed the intention of the whole experience. And so I'm like, okay, I want to remember that for this pregnancy. I get to... When we feel like we choose it, whether it's pain, like, okay, I choose pain. That's something that me and my man say a lot is like, if we're like stressed out, okay, I'm choosing stress. So at least we're back in the driver's seat. And that's helped a lot. It makes a lot of sense. I know exactly what you're talking. Well, not about the pregnancy, but in terms of that, it's a mindset of like, when you say choosing pain or just being aware of it or just like yeah

or just you know embracing a feeling rather than resisting it yeah yeah that's that adds so much more pain resisting what is when i just go okay this is amusing that too shall pass kind of like things feelings that's the thing feelings are temporary everything's always changing all the time even the good man just really enjoyed it. Thank you, me too. That was so fun. Please come back anytime. Great, let me know. Amazing. Thank you guys for listening.

As always, don't forget on Thursday, we have an amazing episode coming up with the one and only Gina Kirshenheiner from Real Housewives of Orange County. A lot to get into with her. Their current season is up and running and full of drama, and we have a lot of questions for Gina, and

we promise you we'll get you the answers you are desiring. Also, don't forget we have a better date than never live this week, Thursday night at 9 p.m. Eastern. We also have Vile Files Plus, which is available as always, and we will be recording this

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up. Seven-day free trial. Let's go to Vilefiles.com Come. I said come. Once in a while I said come on accident. It was a... that was kind of an in-between i have to enunciate i'm sorry it's an accent is it i think you have an accent it's an accent yeah you're french yeah there you go oh man and where can they find you uh instagram tiktok man and matthews man and matthews uh one n1T I have a podcast Serious But Funny and then my book

Funny How It Works Out great find all her great stuff if you like spiritual stuff Man Infestation is my other account subscribe to that

baby coming January 19th all right yeah that baby's gonna be giving a lot of good advice so they want to come on an Ask Nick episode yeah you know what you should come on an Ask Nick episode right Right. Yeah. That baby's going to be giving a lot of good advice. So they want to come on a NASNIC episode?

Yeah. You know what? You should come on a NASNIC episode. Right. People call in. We give advice. Oh, I love that. Yeah. Yeah.

You were like, yeah, great. Sure. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. I just needed a second. I did know that. Bye.