The Viall Files - E619 Reality Recap with Susie Evans Plus Girl’s Girls, Earthquakes, and Willy Wonka

Episode Date: August 1, 2023

Welcome back to The Viall Files: Reality Recap Edition! We are joined by Susie Evans to break down this week’s episode of The Bachelorette. We go through our four hometown dates–Who’s family did we love the most, which Uncle totally outshined all other family members, and if “That’s a good question,” is actually a kiss of death. We debate who we think will be her final rose pick and who will be the next Bachelor. We also discuss other reality television headlines and pop culture topics, such as Ariana Grande not being a girl’s girl, Taylor Swift’s seismic activity in Seattle, and if Travis Scott’s new song is shading Timothée Chalamet.  “I don’t think in the history of the show anyone’s parents made any difference.”  Start your 7 Day Free Trial of Viall Files + here: https://viallfiles.supportingcast.fm/  Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to [e-mail] to be a part of our Monday episodes. Join us for our new LIVE show on Thursdays at 9PM ET/6PM PT on Amp, available in the Apple app store. Android User? Listen here: https://www.onamp.com/   To Order Nick’s Book Go To: http://www.viallfiles.com  If you would like to get some texting advice on Office Hours send an email to [e-mail] with “Texting Office Hours” in the subject line! To advertise on the show, contact [e-mail] or visit https://www.advertisecast.com/TheViallFiles  THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: IQ Bar - This episode is brought to you by IQBAR. Now get twenty percent off every IQBar product, plus free shipping when you text FILES to sixty four thousand (64-000). Aura.com - For a limited time, Aura is offering our listeners a 14 day trial plus a check of your data to see if your personal information has been leaked online, all for FREE when you visit https://Aura.com/VIALL  True Classic - Get 25% OFF @trueclassic with promo code VIALL at https://trueclassictees.com/VIALL! #trueclassicpod Episode Socials: @viallfiles @nickviall @susiecevans @alison.vandam @dereklanerussell @liffordthebigreddog @genevievegoodman 

what's going on everybody welcome back to another episode of the vile files reality recap edition it's hometowns for Charity. We have a full house, a full household today. Allie, Amanda, Genevieve, Derek are all here. Our special guest today, the one, the only,

returning to the Vile Files, Susie Evans is with us. A round of applause for Susie. Thanks for having me. Susie, how are you? How are, how's your hometown? Oh, things are good. I just booked a ticket home to Virginia for having me. Susie, how are you? How's your hometown? Oh, things are good. I just booked a ticket home to Virginia for next month. So yeah, it'll be my first visit home since being officially an LA resident.

Okay. How's life? What's new? Life's good. Yeah, I honestly thriving in LA. I've had a lot of ups, a lot of downs, but overall. What's been your highest high and your lowest low? Well, I think this is the first time I've really challenged myself, like seriously challenged myself in my career in a long time. I started my business in 2020 and it was a flop because it was COVID and it was horrible. And I, yeah, I really struggled at that point in my life, but then things were on the up and up and I found happiness and success. And then I did the show, but then moving to LA, it's like, I, I'm just like completely out of my Virginia network. So I don't have any connections in

the wedding industry out here. So I'm just like starting fresh and yeah, it feels good. What are you doing? What are you trying to do? I guess. Can we help help you out can we give tizzy a plug i appreciate that yeah i mean weddings are always probably going to be on my radar a little bit wedding videography videography and then i think i'm going to try to get into like beauty fashion and uh a little bit of wedding product photography okay yeah that's kind of the the dream in la right now and so if someone were to be interested in working with you. Yeah. You can reach out or.

Yeah. Reach out. SusieEvansMedia at gmail.com. My website is SusieWasLike.com. Hit me up. All right. Yeah. Thanks for letting me plug it.

Oh my God. Susie, anytime. So are you dating Andrew? No. Oh God. No. We're just checking week to week yeah what is your love life like i was just kind of seeing a guy all right and i it's crazy because now we hate him or no not at all he's he's lovely wonderful past tense though yeah past tense okay this is i didn't think

i would be the one but I I just felt like I need to focus on myself and I feel like I tell my friends all the time when they're kind of like struggling like I don't know if this is right or what I need to be doing and I'm always like be selfish like it's okay to be selfish if you need to be selfish in this season of life and although I emotionally feel ready for a relationship, I was really struggling to balance pursuing somebody and just like feeling secure and finding like my own coffee shop and finding my favorite things to do. I was like, I want to have my things in LA before I just like jump into a relationship and have their things become my things and um and just feel like secure with my career and secure with

the direction of my life and yeah he's great but i think that i just needed to like take a step back and be like i need to just like do me for a bit how did you guys broach that subject did he try to define it you're like listen or did you how long are you guys hanging out for probably like about two months two months yeah and then at what point did you realize that do you think it's more uh you want to find your own coffee shop or he's not your guy like once you find your coffee shop would you invite him for a coffee to my coffee shop your coffee shop i i don't know i think that that's what i'm trying to figure out because i actually had this conversation with him where i was like i'm really torn because I think he's a really great person. And we had a lot of fun getting to know each other. But it also was like a lot really fast where I felt like we were spending a lot of time together. And we had the conversation of like, is this more about boundaries? Like, do we need to be more clear about what I'm looking for right now? Or do I just need to take a step back and like assess?

And I think that's kind of what I'm doing right now is just being like, yeah, I used to always think if it was the right person, you would like make time. I used to always think that and I was adamant. I was like, if it's the right person, you'll figure it out. And now I'm like, oh, I don't know if that applies all the time or if it does. And I'm just taking the time to figure that out. Yeah. I mean, it could just not be the right time for you yeah i and i really believe that like i've never i've yeah i've never felt like people are like oh you their time or whatever like i always understand if somebody's like i just need to focus on me i'm like i totally get it well it's interesting just because obviously with all the discussions about dating and relationships we do on this show the i'm just not looking for a relationship right now some version of that which it sounds like you express

that to him yeah is often seen as and and rightfully so is as an excuse or a cop-out on some level however it does seem like in this case because what people will do is like they they'll say i'm not looking for a relationship right now and keep hanging out with them. Except for you kind of, because right now you kind of just decided once you realized you needed to explore LA, find your coffee shops. It sounds like you shut it down with him. Yeah. As opposed to, right? Because that's where people seem to get in trouble. I totally replied to his story yesterday though.

Uh-oh. I know. He's going to be like, he's going to write an ass thing like, well, what does it mean when they replied to does it mean that's not i've read your book too and i was like oh refiner story is fine no i like i did like a little clapping emoji because he has um he had a bunch of picture frames that weren't filled and i was like are you okay like what's i think that's okay i don't think that's a big signal it was scary at first and then i was like oh oh, you just are like just getting settled. And then he posted a story about his picture frames, like having pictures. I was like the clappy emoji.

And then we chatted and stuff. And it was it was really positive. Like, I really do like him. I think he's a very high quality person and he's done a lot of work on himself. So I'm like, I think he's a really nice, good guy. I think he's a really nice, good guy. What have you found to be the most challenging part from the point of view of a woman in L.A. is the hardest part when it comes to dating? And what do you also think is something that you that you hear is hard, but you think is a bit overblown? OK, well, I don't know if I if it's overblown, but everybody's like L.A. dating is horrible.

Nobody's looking to settle down. Everyone's career driven. And I'm like, hold on. Am I fitting into that category? Am I part of the problem? But I mean, it's weird because I definitely feel like a year ago I was just in my routine. I had my stuff and I was so ready for that part of my life. But now I feel like I'm the one that's like, oh, I got to hustle and grind and like set myself up for whatever the next chapter of my life looks like. And so I don't want to say I disagree with that, but I've I went on I've only been on

two first dates and he was the second first date and then we just kept seeing each other. But I do hear that it's just awful in L.A. because everyone's career driven. So maybe I'm a part of the problem. And well, it is a nature of the of the town I mean I had a very similar conversation with your alleged boyfriend Andrew alleged boyfriend you know I dated um when I first moved to LA pretty casually and I always thought of myself as like open to like meeting someone. Yeah. But then I remember like I was, I felt very unsettled at that, at that point in my life, you know, I was trying to figure out what the fuck I was going to do. Do I should I'm going to go back to work? You know, like I was very transitional.

I did not feel like I wasn't in a place that I would have imagined myself where I'd want to be. You know, I would, I would have struggled myself where I'd want to be. I would have struggled, I think, probably with certain aspects of confidence and sense of self. And so in the moment, I never really thought about it that way, but I think it certainly affected me. And yeah, that is LA, because LA is a town where people are taking pretty big swings in their life. And they're kind of uprooting their lives and moving to a town where they don't know, they don't really have a support system. And it's just very different. And they're not necessarily moving because they got a job and a career.

They're moving to kind of figure it out. Take a chance on yourself. It's tough. It's a tough place. But yeah, which makes the dating that much more difficult. Yeah. And I'm, and I'm not really interested in super casual either. I feel like this sounds bad, but it kind of feels like a waste of time to just be like, Oh, I just, I know I want that eventually, but I'm not quite there, but I just want to have fun. Like,

I don't know. I feel like I've had fun in my life and I'm like, I'm kind of good right now. If the right situationship thing kind of happened, maybe I would entertain it. But I know I catch feelings. So I'm like, I'm not trying to make this more painful for anybody, including myself. Okay. Okay.

Someone who's in a whole lot of pain, though, that I feel like we need to talk about is Ethan Slater's estranged wife. Oh my God. It keeps evolving. It keeps evolving. I just feel like we need to talk about this because I am so concerned about everything. It's like all of the details that are coming up recently have just been like so fucked up. Like the way that Ariana Grande was like friends with them, held their baby. Yeah. We talked about this in Pop Off last week, trying to disseminate

like, because we hate to even think it, let alone say it, but like, is Ariana Grande a homewrecker? You know, like, and maybe. There's this photo that got unearthed that people hadn't seen since, like, I think

a day or two ago. I think it was released yesterday on the 27th and she was pictured with her arm around Ethan while enjoying her 30th birthday which was three weeks before it was revealed that she was dating him and it was like a month so yeah the photo was taken on June 27th one day after her birthday and he had on Mother's Day posted about his wife and the mother of his now 11 month old son gushing about what a great mom she is and how thankful he is for her. And then literally the next month, he has his arm around Ariana on her 30th birthday. They're at this like British countryside retreat for $500 a night.

Someone from their camp put out a like, there was no foul play basically, right? They were both separated from their respective partners. And it's like, yeah, sure. But like clearly based on the statement that his ex-wife made that... She's not a girl's girl? Yeah, that's tough. That's a tough... Oh, is that what she

said? Wait, is that what she said? She said the real story is Ariana Grande. She's definitely not a girl's girl. I'm just focused on trying to be a good mom because i think the issue is my family's collateral damage people are saying that ariana separated from her husband in january but now it's like okay well ethan clearly met right and then the relationship wait so when did she hold the baby that's what i want to know was that's what i was trying to find out too. Because if it was like from the beginning, like early on, I don't know. I'm very confused by the timeline because that feels like an integral part of this story. So principal photography for Wicked began in December of 2022.

She apparently separated from her husband in January. So I'm assuming, like, I don't think they really knew each other until filming. That started in December. They separated when? Well, Ariana and her husband separated in January. So I'm assuming, like, I don't think they really knew each other until filming. That started in December. They separated when? Well, Ariana and her husband separated in January. I don't care about that. When did SpongeBob separate from his wife? We don't know because he posted about her on Mother's Day of

this year in May. And then in June, had his armor on Ariana. If I'm a betting man, his wife's perception is everything was fine and then her husband met Ariana Grande and then things changed

and when they broke up versus when they started dating irrelevant interesting right because at that point it's just like how long do you think I should wait till like we can date before like you know like they clearly had conversations about optics and if he has this like co-star in ariana grande who he has like so much chemistry with like he's

probably not showing up for their conversations like even if they're having a fight like he's probably like i don't care like he doesn't have any skin in the game anymore so to speak because he's over in london other flame that he's so excited about and it's like that's the thing with it's she is such a massive star. She's obviously attractive. She's the sixth most followed person on Instagram, you know, like in an industry in which he works. Oh, my God. This is painful. He sees her as a lottery ticket. whatever love they might feel and like the power that Ariana has over any guy that she like puts her eyes on

intoxicating, I'm assuming. Do we think Ariana's gonna start playing stepmom? I don't think she gives a shit. I think this is just a showmance. A showmance? It'll be done once they wrap filming? Yeah. Yeah, then what happens?

But doesn't that make it even worse though? Yeah. If she like, you know. And they're high school sweethearts. Oh my God god he and his wife have been together for over 10 years they are high school sweethearts and she put up with she must have right i bet if you ask her she probably has a list of all these like auditions that she drove him to and was always had his back and like in the in the hustle that was from high's like, we went from high school to the Tonys together and I was with him every step of the way.

She put in work. Yeah. She probably had to listen to him sing those SpongeBob songs every single day. And that little wiggle. Oh my God. That's the worst part.

Yes. That woman deserves an award. Truly. A Purple Heart. Her own Purple Heart. And like, I mean, listen, you know, it doesn't seem like pulling the room that he's necessarily anyone's type you know but it was really interesting as any of you and i have now

working on this but like maybe jojo siwa had a strong reaction he was like oh my god he's so sweet so it seems like he has like a very strong maybe intoxicating energy like it seems like maybe he's one of those people who could be that but oh like, oh my god. There's a lot of nice people. I'm just wondering if maybe the only thing that Ariana likes about him is the fact that he's married. That is a complex for some girls. Does she have a history of that?

Well, Genevieve had the She's towed the line on a couple occasions. I guess Naya Rivera said that she'd seen Ariana at the house before she'd broken up with Sean. Like she started dating Pete Davidson right after his relationship with Kazzy David ended.

And again, I don't know if that was right after or... I don't know if she has a history.'s just it's so hard because it's like i know ariana grande has been through a lot this is not to like in any way excuse her behavior but it's like she's been through so much trauma in her life and i just want her to be like happy and healed and in a relationship where she can like move through it like i want her to not be in a relationship right now she's going through through a divorce. You know? Yeah. She's going through a divorce. But yeah, maybe emotionally it was overdue.

Although we've heard from her ex that he was like all in. But who knows? He's dating someone else right now, too. He is? Okay. But I mean, eventually I want her to find this like happy, healthy relationship. And it feels like whenever there is the opportunity, she reverts back to this old like toxic pattern yeah i don't that's sweet ariana grande meeting the man's wife and holding their baby etc while

having an affair with him like looking back on that yeah if you thought someone was a friend and it was like oh this is my husband's co-worker how fun there's just no way that high school sweetheart and ethan were like broken up and like so totally amicable that you posted the mother's day thing yeah that's what i know that oh no that like all right i don't know all card maybe she was a fan of ariana i don't know maybe because i'm maybe she wouldn't cool with that If he's posting that close to this all happening, it was either a massive secret and they were really going behind people's backs or the high school sweetheart was like, okay, well, this is what's happening. I'm going to accept it.

And then he posted that and maybe behind close to her, she was like, you're an idiot. You know, I don't know. Yeah. It just seems way too close in timeline for it to be. Very close. Yeah. Very, very close. But did you see, Susiezy are you going to the taylor

swift concert yeah i am did you see that uh taylor swift fans uh caused an earthquake in seattle are you serious in seattle 0.3 magnitude and and let me tell you i grew up in seattle earthquakes are a really scary thing for seattle because we're right on the tectonic plate and so i grew up having all my teachers and all the adults tell me that Seattle's just going to get tucked into the ground. Oh my God. Lead with fear. But even I, I don't care.

So this wasn't an actual earthquake. It was just it had the equivalent. Seismic activity equivalent of a 2.3 magnitude earthquake. So if you were in the stadium it felt like you were in a 2.3 So it's been you were in the stadium, it felt like you were in a 2.3. So it's been just, it's been compared to the 2011 beast quake when Seattle Seahawks fans

erupted after an impressive touchdown. Yeah. I'm guessing as a playoff game versus the saints. Yeah. I'm familiar. I'm familiar. I said run. Yeah.

Wow. Well, you know, no surprise. Taylor Taylor's run. I saw uh i saw yeah i was a little confused blake lively was out there making sure that everyone knew that her trainer wasn't the father of her four kids yes yes because she posted a swimsuit photo and someone commented how do you have four kids because she looked amazing and blake responded and just tagged her trainer dawn

and then she that went through commented again and she said wait no that's not how he's not the father he's just the one who helps me fit into some of my clothes again after i love that she and ryan like do this online though they like they have a funny online relationship where they do things like this this doesn't feel like something that she was like fuck everyone's gonna believe this right yeah oh no i think i think she fucked up really thank god for her already comedic timing with her husband and also thank god her husband is ryan reddell so but yeah i think she was trying to give her trainer trainer some cred and just didn't like think it through you know we've all done that where you're just like you're how you think it's going to be interpreted isn't like the only way

it could be interpreted and i think it was more like that yeah that's just why she correct she didn't want to have to correct herself because like when blake and ryan troll each other they're not correcting themselves they're like it's obvious the. So I think it's funny the fuck up. And I don't think it's that big of a deal. And I don't think anyone's actually like, is there something shiny going on? Because I don't think if the question had been, how do you look so good after having four kids?

I don't think she would have corrected herself. But the question is, how do you have four kids? I was like, okay. What is he tightening up before they get pregnant that makes me feel like thinking about it you know oh yeah it's kegel only fitness but hey pelvic floor i gotta work listen i i read a lot of things wrong so i've i've made this mistake several times I empathize with Blake Oh my gosh

Wait also speaking of relationships And social media posts So Elon Musk's ex-wife Is engaged to Love Actually's Thomas Brody Sangster And in order to announce Their engagement He's been in a million things

He was in Nanny McPhee He's the kid that He looks like he's 10 years younger than he is yes he was also my first crush really like i'm familiar on this yeah i love him did you guys see the maze runner i think isn't that this guy you see queen's gambit this guy he's a little kid if he would have said the little boy and Love Actually. He's like 35 years old. In Love Actually, it looks like he's eight. He was like 13 years old.

Yeah, he and Keira Knightley were like five years apart when they filmed that movie. Yes. She was 18. He was 13. Got that Benjamin Button. That is nuts. I know. That is nuts.

That is mind blowing. So wait, and then this woman is- His- Elon Musk's ex-wife. Really? Yeah. Yes. this woman is his Elon Musk's ex-wife really yeah yes but I thought it was incredibly crazy that in order to announce their engagement she tweeted it which now Elon Musk owns Twitter and then Elon

commented back his congratulations on the post great I thought it was weird though is in the announcement she writes out like super thrilled to announce that i'm engaged to thomas brody sankster why are you putting his full name like literally the tweet was very happy to share that after two years of dating thomas brody sankster and i are engaged it's a bit informal yeah it's a bit i want people to know who i'm engaged to why wouldn't you just say thomas yeah i don't know oh i don't know i don't take it as more i take it more like for i don't know it's like but it's like she's making her own press release press release yeah like you do you you know you know yeah it's like it's on twitter's did he own it then who cares yeah they literally just posted it they just posted and elon wrote back alongside a heart emoji and that was the first platform in

which she yes not facebook no no facebook i guess she's older than me immediate maybe what's his name thomas brody thanks maybe thomas brody thanks uh it was like listen like this is like keep them let's keep the billionaire happy like maybe there's more pot at the end of the rainbow that's true do they have kids together uh and elon because elon's got like a a litter quite a yeah a litter uh he does no but they were married twice they were married twice he's got like how many he's got several kids yeah he's been married twice to her he okay yeah that's a red flag 2010 to 2012 the first lasting from 2010 to 2012. The second from 2013 to 2016. They never had children together.

But they were married twice. If you're Thomas whatever whatever. Brody Sankster. Are you a little like, you went back to him once. And then like, hey babe, let's just like tweet it. Yeah, are they trolling? Or are they dead serious? Are they like, this is the platform. Or maybe they thought it was a troll. Maybe they thought they were trolling. Yeah they are they dead serious are they like this is the platform maybe

they thought it was a troll maybe they thought they were trolling yeah i think i would i couldn't imagine the two of them having a sense of humor like that same that's why i'm like that press release did not sound like a someone who's a jokester like your post with natalie was like for the rest of my life it's you it wasn't i am pleased to announce which is pretty cheese yeah yeah but you didn't at least like name drop her as if no one knew who she was here ha here here are you here here ha here ha i am engaged it's just like so easy i feel like to be cynical about celebrity relationships nowadays which i think makes it even more like makes us appreciate the Blake Lively's and Ryan Reynolds and also the Doc Shepard and Kristen Bell's did you see that this is obviously close to my heart because it has Boston yeah but they got stranded at Logan Airport after having their flight delayed by like

nine hours repeatedly and like we're fully setting up like a bed with blankets on the floor $600 worth of blankets and pillows. Where'd they get the blankets and pillows? Probably like Hudson News. But why couldn't they go to a hotel? They said there was no hotels within 50 miles. No hotel rooms. So they went on like Hotels Tonight or Hotels.com

and they were like nothing. Zero vacancies in the greater Boston area. What was going on in Boston? Nonetheless, they were told to leave the airport before they could go to bed in their makeshift room. Has a city ever been fully sold out? Was Taylor Swift there? Maybe.

What was going on in Boston that every single room in Boston, a major city with a bevy of hotels. That's wild. And the greater Boston area. Yeah. Not even. You're telling me Newton.

Not even downtown Boston. I wonder if they curated this story to seem like there were no hotels because then maybe were they embarrassed that they were sleeping on a floor? They're just, there's some gaps. But they were posting about it. They were the ones being like, ha ha, look at our setup. Exactly. I think that's what Susie's saying.

Yeah. Like if they're like, oh, there there's no hotels but they just make that part up like i wonder if that that is inaccurate i don't know yeah i feel like they did one google search saw nothing they were like well guess we're sleeping they call their favorite hotel it wasn't available but the thing so they ended up staying in a friend of a friend's attic which is like lovely of them to take them in but i'm like why weren't they doing that before because especially like they're based in Los Angeles. All their friends are still awake. Even if it's like midnight in Boston, it's 9 p.m. They can totally make some calls for people.

Like it feels like they didn't really try. The other part of the story that I thought was funny was it was apparently right after Dax Shepard took his sleeping aid that they were asked to leave. He's like delirious trying to find this attic. Every major airport has like hotels for this very purpose. That's what I was thinking too. Yeah, it's weird. What about the airport hotel? We need an investigation. Yeah, I also like- And they're not great, but they are

better than the airport floor. But aren't as cool for the gram. Yeah, that's true. I did sleep in an airport once and I definitely documented it. And I was like, oh my god, it's so silly. She's quirky. Were you afraid? Yeah, I actually was afraid. I would be afraid like I'd get robbed. I was also like very poor at the, it's so silly. She's quirky. Were you afraid? Yeah, I actually was afraid. I would be afraid like I'd get robbed.

I was also like very poor at the time. So I didn't have an option. And I was waiting in line to get a hotel. And they're like, we ran out of vouchers. And I was like, well, find me over there. Oh, my God. What airport was it? I think it was Minneapolis.

Oh, you're fine. Yeah. I think a lot of people do it. The rapper who shot his barber? No. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Some rapper, I think, shot and killed. Yeah. I think a lot of people do it. The rapper who shot his barber? No. Oh, yeah. Yeah, some rapper I think shot and killed his barber. What?

Yeah. Pride was the, yeah. Superstar Pride reportedly denied bond. He's a superstar? I guess. In fatal shooting of his barber. He killed him. Intentionally?

Well, he's been charged with first degree murder after the fatal shooting of a man believed to be his barber. The Mississippi rapper surrendered to authorities after investigators identified him as a suspect in the death of marcus wheatley shooting inside a home inside a home maybe it was a house visit haircut okay so apparently pride entered the home and chased him outside with a gun yeah entered the barber's home yeah i guess because his grandmother's retelling this the barber's grandmother yeah man oh it's so sad tristan and his brother moved in with chloe yeah chloe continues to take the high road i love chloe is this is this the high road at this point or

yes okay yeah so um tristan's mother tragically passed away. And so Tristan has a younger brother who's 17. Chloe actually just posted it was his 17th birthday. I don't exactly know Amari's story, but I know he was in a wheelchair in the photos being seen, obviously Chloe because Tristan's home was later damaged by severe weather in California. So it made it unlivable. So he and Amari moved in with Chloe and Chloe said, I'm grateful that I'm strong enough and brave enough to be a support system for someone else that has no other support system right now. You don't have to treat me right for me to treat you right. It's not the way I was raised. I feel like that's a bold caption. I love the sentiment, but I'm like, damn she's really putting it out there but yeah so that was said on the show that wasn't the caption of a post yeah no no that was on the show

it's one of those things that sounds so nice but that that is essentially what so many people, I've been in issues, so many of our callers call in and it's just like they create this's it makes you sound very thoughtful and very empathetic. And but is it just an excuse to keep giving someone who doesn't deserve another chance another chance? See, I feel like it just makes it different now that Amari's in the picture and Amari's, you know, moved in with Tristan after their mom died. Because if it was just Tristan, I'm like, you're a grown man. Get a, get a hotel room, get another house, like whatever.

But Chloe's probably, you know, family at this point. He's, she's probably the closest that Amari has. And so to know that like, he's taken care of for, he's safe.

Even if Tristan's traveling. Just tough for her. I don't know what her dating life is or what her, if she has any interest in pursuing a romantic relationship, but can't be easy, you know, to do that while, you know, emotionally taking care of your ex. It's nice, but I don't, it's, I think it's a slippery slope and not necessarily an example to follow in a way. I think it's a dangerous person. Like I can imagine all the people who are in these situationships and shitty relationships with these guys who have just like fucked around or just done a bunch of shit that they didn't deserve. But like, you know, nice, nice guys, like charming, like pretty affable. They've done some nice shit. They bought some nice gifts like you know nice and chloe is like the queen of like see

you just if i just love him more he'll eventually come around but i don't think she's trying to get back with tristan i'm not even saying she is per se you know every situation is different but also she just is a vest it's you know it's a creative choice by her, but, you know, it's a, I don't know. It's not as altruistic as I think it comes to, as she wants it to come across or that some people take it. It's just my two cents. This episode is brought to you by IQ Bar. Get 20% off every IQ Bar product plus free shipping when you text files to 64,000.

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right? He's a rapper. He makes, like Taylor, she writes. You would think he's absolutely going to write, even if he doesn't even mind Timothy Chalamet. You know, it's like he's making a rap. Someone's dating his ex

girlfriend who is the mother of his two children like yeah talk some shit if I'm a rapper what's the line chocolate AP and chocolate the V's got the Willy Wonka factory I could drop it he plays Willy Wonka yeah burn an athlete like it's

calories find another flame as hot as me bitch I'm clearly really good at rapping wait so did he call Kylie a bitch or Timothy I guess who's to say as me bitch i'm clearly really good at rapping wait so did he call kylie a bit fine or timothy i guess who's to say i mean that definitely feels like shade yeah yeah i just feel like honestly if you're gonna date a musician or a rapper like that's kind of on you comes with the territory kind of comes with the territory you gotta know that if it doesn't work out like you're their muse true am i the only one who like whenever i hear travis scott i just think about astroworld

no you're not the only one like as much as it's like oh yeah i'm like i feel like it was right around when like kim kardashian and pete davidson started dating that like they released that as like a really big cover-up and i just think it was such a successful cover-up and i'm like are we not talking about the fact that this man like they even covered it up in the show. So they actually went back and refilmed a scene with Kendall and Haley and said, I forget what other event Kendall missed out on. And they said that she was in Miami with Haley and they filmed this whole scene of them in Miami. Meanwhile, they weren't in Miami at that point. They were at Astroworld. But I think everyone was talking about

that when that episode was released. Everyone was like, we know what actually happened. We have the calendar. We knew you weren't there. The household has not forgotten, though. We have not forgotten Astroworld. Let it be remembered. Is it time to get into some Bachelor tea and then

Hometowns? Well, is it? Have we covered everything? i think so before we get into basher tea i do want to uh speak on last week last week our dear correspondent ally was dm'd a message about uh a bit of a rumor and uh typically on this show uh if you've listened at all we we tend to try to fall this is a This is a boundary we've set for ourselves on this show that we didn't enforce last week. But typically, we don't like to speak on rumors or things that are on the internet. I know a lot of people like to speak on blind items and things like that. We are a show that typically does not like to do that, just because it can be dangerous to speak on that.

Nevertheless, we did not enforce that boundary last week. And we, you know, discussed a potential rumor about a newer member of Bachelor Nation. And despite disagreeing with the rumor, nevertheless, you know, it's my show. So I should have made sure that it didn't make the final cut. So for the person involved, we apologize. And for anyone listening, just know we will work on enforcing that boundary going forward. Just because, like you said, a lot of people, a lot of shows will like to talk about that kind of stuff. Generally speaking, I think it can be a little dangerous just because there's so many unverified rumors about people out there. And yes, it can be fun to discuss the possibilities,

but if these rumors aren't true, it can be hard on the people involved. And I certainly know what that feels like. So again, to the person involved, we certainly hope it's not true. And regardless, apologetic for platforming it at all. Great. All right. What do we got? Some Bachelor tea. Susie, do you mind if I play a little something for for you because i'd like some i would like some answers here ma'am oh god what are we doing here who's gonna get your final

rose andrew or justin also that videography that could be your wedding folks truly it could be a wedding for the three of you it's like going back and forth it's like how they both are in love with her but she doesn't this is how it started the dating rumors well no they're continuing it yeah we're feeding my ego too you know you look great chasing my heart is this the top you got at melrose yes i wore it because i knew we were going to film this and I was like I want to give my girl a shout out it's real cute to the kill is the brand she's so sweet she's like a vendor

they're clearly both in love with you Susie so what is this why are we playing this other than it's great content this is just you know bachelor tea I guess is this tea yes it's on the list it's on the list so it's official I don't want to like make it about me today, but you're a special guest. Kind of a big deal.

Oh, what a hair flip. I know. I know. You can take a moment to admire. It was pretty good. Actually, this was not the intention. We were filming something else. Also, Andrew and I have been kind of writing skits, and we were going to try to film it,

but with audio, we were in public, it just didn't line up. So we were like, well, what can we repurpose this funny stuff for? And we just kind of put this together for fun. It's fun. It's good. It's really well done. So anything you want to share? No, stay tuned. Oh, stay tuned.

The top of the point, Katie Thurston says it took a long time for ex-John Hershey. Yes, to pay her back. For the what? For the van? She bought him a van? She bought him a travel van.

Like the same Van Dien has? A van you could live in. She bought him a van? She said, we live together. I bought him a travel van. Well, no. She loaned him the money. She loaned him the money for a travel van?

Did she buy him a van? No, she bought the van. Then why does he have to pay her back? Wait, we lived together. I bought him a travel van. I was so all in during their six-month romance. Then she said after they broke up afterward, and then I think because she had purchased him this new vehicle,

because they were only together a few months before they went their separate ways, she said, don't worry, he paid me back, but it took a long time because travel vans aren't cheap, okay? And then she said she will never buy a man a present of that caliber ever again. And apparently when they broke up, he actually lived in the van because he couldn't pay her back for the van and also pay rent. I wonder if this was like a discussion they had where it was like i can't accept this we're breaking up like there's a lot of details that

we don't know other than engagement rings and even then i've heard some people operate on it like well you gave it to me interesting but like can you give a like hey this is a gift but if we who broke up with who katie or i don't know john do we not remember anyway it doesn't matter can you but if it's something what are the rules when it comes to gifts yeah i think it has to do with the amount of money that it costs and i would feel uncomfortable accepting that and then going through a breakup like if it were me and i wanted to keep the van i'd be like i really appreciate this i do want to keep it but i'll pay you back because it doesn't feel right also yeah why is john letting katie buy him a van because she said i let this man quit his job i was like whatever you need me to be i will be which in hindsight that's not healthy

that's not good why did he quit his job i think she was just supporting both of them and she was so into the relationship and so in love that she's like i'll provide i'll do whatever i mean and that's if that was their relationship choice but wonderful for them but but why usually it's because like he's pursuing something or yeah they moved or or they were living say that at that time uh john was a bartender and aspiring pilot. So maybe he was like could literally do that anywhere.

Being in school, aviation school. I feel like it was the kind of thing where like she had a bunch of money because like she had kind of like her big moment of media success,

like probably peak brand deals. She is like, gets him this gift. He's like, oh my God, you shouldn't have, like I'll pay you back, babe. But they're both so in love

and happy. Well, if he's a bartender, you know, or or she was like i'm the bachelorette i don't want to be dating someone who's working behind a bar so could it be that i don't think she'd be anti-bartender but if he just wanted to focus on like aviation school or if you want to focus on something else or he couldn't have a day job. I don't know. I don't know how aviation school works. All right. Well, I mean, whatever.

Legally, you can give gifts with a stipulation attached. I forget the term, but that's the thing with engagement rings is that you're giving this gift with the expectation to be married. So if you don't get married, you can claim it back. But the complicated thing is that

if you give it to someone on their birthday or a holiday such as Christmas, where it doesn't necessarily gets a little blurry because it could just be a gift it could be the same thing i will say i am intrigued as to what that conversation was like that it was like hey why did he need to quit his job why did she need to support him as a how old like mid-20s early 30s guy san diego and what is she like i mean yeah you know as a former retro probably she did appearances and she's and she's working on her comedy career like what why couldn't he work so it's in this article that i was reading about their breakup it was saying she was kind of saying that she took up skydiving like for him, like jumped out. She was like, I jumped out of a plane three times, two of them by myself.

And then I guess they kind of broke up because he wanted her to take up surfing. And she was like, had this revelation of like nothing I do is ever going to be good enough. Like she was trying so hard to fit into his world. So if he's this like free spirit, out adventure outdoorsy guy then maybe like this was kind of like one of the ways that she was trying to be like i understand you and like i can hang in this space and like i'm buying you a van and i'm supportive what does that have to do with the job maybe he only wanted to surf in skydive maybe but he did pay her back yeah yeah there we go slowly slowly yeah that's true they're expensive takes a long time also i was seeing that uh marissa who was on bachelor paradise she got engaged to riley um she just went on our first

uh solo trip she took a cruise by herself and kind of posted about how empowering it was and how it was the best vacation of her life which suzy reminded me of didn't you go to british virgin islands yeah was that a solo trip no that one wasn one wasn't. I went I mean, I did go by myself, but I was intentionally going to meet up with other people there. But I have done a lot of solo traveling, like starting 19. I went to Panama by myself. Yeah. So fun. Yeah. It is really empowering, especially as a woman. It's like it can be kind of scary. I so agree. And you stay in hostels. And I feel like in terms of like you figure out how to connect with people in a way, that's like you're really pushed out of your comfort zone. Yeah. You build confidence for sure. Totally.

Because you have to eat alone. You have to go to dinner. And if you don't make friends, then you got to figure out what you're going to do. Totally. But you usually make friends. Yeah. Also, Katie is a new elite on FBoy Island. Yeah.

Which is on CW. Yeah. Which we haven't really covered yet. But it's really, you know, when people ask us if we want to cover to cover something little secret it's kind of up to you guys you know it's like we kind of pay attention to what you guys are talking about what's out there so you know i maybe with katie being part of the the new season maybe we'll dive into it but really it is entirely up to you but i don't know when when i don't know when it airs, but she is- October. She's back on reality TV.

I'm excited. Do you know Katie much? I've chatted with her, but I don't know if she's filming now or if it's already done. I don't know. Okay. Yeah. All right. Yeah, it seems like she's really committed to comedy stuff, though, in a way where I'm

like, go off, queen. So cool. And FBoy Island, I think, fancies itself as a bit more of a comedy dating reality TV show rather than a drama. They do a lot of bits on the show. Hopefully we'll cover it and we'll watch. You'll see. I've seen it. It's like sketch comedy-esque.

I love that. Yeah, they definitely fancy themselves as more of a comedy than they do a drama, for sure. Speaking of drama, Hometowns? Is that your segue? I feel like Katie. Nothing will ever be good enough. First I skydived, now I'm surfing, Nick.

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All right, hometowns, let's do itax live. All right. Hometowns. Let's do it. A bachelorette. Aaron. Aaron. I don't know. Like no. Generally, no surprises.

How do we want to break this down? I think we have to do hometown by hometown. Favorite families. Dotton. Yes. I love Dotton's mom and his grandma. Oh, grandma. Oh, his grandma.

His parents literally came back from Nigeriaigeria for this fierce i'm gonna emotional bold statement i'm gonna say aaron's family was my favorite okay only because i knew don's family would be amazing you know don is just this everything he does and says is just you're like yeah yeah great you're amazing incredible so it's like no shock that don's family is spectacular but like aaron like we had our doubts about the person and yet his family lovely you know and i i do always like it's always kind of fun to see someone who again maybe aaron's wonderful in life he's just getting a bad edit i don't i don't fucking know but it's nice to especially if there's someone you're watching you're just like they annoy me and then you see your fit they're with them family you see their family and their family's lovely you know and you're just like well they can't be that bad their family is great you know so i always kind of enjoy seeing that so i quite like darren's family

yeah it's so humanizing i did think although like at the moment after meeting the family, when they went to the football field, it felt like Charity was trying to like really validate him as opposed to like actually being in the moment. You know, like I feel like even though like his family was like 10 out of 10, so lovely. I was like, I felt in my gut. I was like, he's going home from the way. When he started playing the music and she was like, no, you didn't. No, you didn't no you didn't like it was kind of like this and then she started crying i was like oh and she doesn't want to hurt him and she's trying to handle it with such grace but i think it was just clear like

she could understand that it was a really great moment and he was doing all the right things but i don't feel like it was like having the impact on her that she wanted it to at the rose ceremony he was just like if i don't get a rose i'm gonna be so fucking pissed you know and he was like he was like this the whole season where it's like if i don't get a one-on-one in new orleans it's like jesus man like you know i don't know it just kind of has that and i guess it's not comes across as a bit entitled yeah yeah like alpha energy i feel like aaron has absolutely reminded a day before of like something nice that he thinks he's done he's doing that sort of what he views as the good deed of like telling on brayden and then he's like

oh but aren't i such a good guy for pointing out a bad guy it's very much like that yeah he's he is like telling up his good deed in his head. Yeah. He's like, so how are those flowers holding up? And you're like, Oh yeah, they're great.

They're still in bloom. Thank you again. Six months. Remember when I got those flowers? Those were really, wow. Those took me a while to find. Yeah.

You're like at the farmer's market. He's like, those are just like the ones I got. That's so funny. What have you been thinking of this season so far, Susie? I've actually really enjoyed it. I thought it's, I thought it has been really of this season so far suzy um i've actually really enjoyed it i thought it's i thought it has been really entertaining charity's very likable

yeah i think yeah i've had fun with it i feel like i've been kind of bored of the franchise a little bit and i feel like i don't know i like this episode we were all so invested in kind of emotional like i did not know who was gonna make make it to the next round we were but yeah i thought maybe they they would surprise us with the joey send home yeah i think it could have gone either way that's why we had a reaction when it was aaron because we didn't know we didn't know i feel like she's really invested in these final four guys i do think she knew like that's i felt like that's why she was crying with aaron i was like oh i think she knows she's gonna send him home and this is gonna be super painful

but I think she cares about him totally I don't know well and I think she had a similar moment with Joey which is why she got so emotional at the end of Joey's date when she thought it was going really well she even said what was it to Joey's sister that she's falling in love with him and the dad

questions if Uncle Joe questions not the dad yeah no right and the dad questions if no no no uncle joe questions not the dad yeah no not not today which i was i'm family dynamic curious like how did uncle kind of take like it wasn't just like i'm uniquely close to my uncle and he's also a big part of my life it was like this is my uncle and like we're not gonna say it but like he's gonna play the role of dad today he reminded me i'm pretty close with my uncle and he like taught me how to play squash like the and i think it's like i always wish him a happy father's day i do feel like he was kind of bad cop like he was always

like give it to me straight. Like didn't fuck around. Like my dad is just like a tender sweetheart. Yeah, sure. But if you were on The Bachelor and you made it to hometowns, would Squash Uncle be the one who would not only play squash with you as you were like, you know what, I'm playing squash with whoever The Bachelor is. And then when you met the family, he would be the one to talk to you and the bachelor and essentially be positioned as the one who has like the final authority,

even over mom. He'd give them the soundbites in a way my parents simply wouldn't. Oh, I don't doubt the soundbites. I'm not talking about soundbites. He was the date. Uncle was... But that we saw.

I was just thinking, I'm like, I wonder if when the show got there, I have no idea, but maybe the dad was just like i'm cool if he's happy i'm happy like that's how my family was that doesn't make good tv yeah uncle joe makes good tv because we were like wait what's going on like who's the real joey like he really made us question a lot where i'm like maybe the dad did get the time but it didn't make

didn't make the show you know that's a great point suzy and you might be right but if i feel so bad for joe's dad i do too because it's like i wanted more of the dad my uncle joe can get it uncle joe's a baddie yeah uncle joe's like if mr clean like went to get his phd you know became a professor like he's got like the scruff and the glasses and he can play tennis like also yeah like do people have predictions about what the real Joey is? Because I had in my gut... Yeah, what is the real Joey? Uncle whatever his name is.

Uncle Joe. Uncle Joe. My guess... He was named after. Yeah, exactly. I said that. Because he grew up in... I said that.

In Philly, right? He grew up in Philly or New Jersey or somewhere on the East Coast. And my guess is that Joey has kind of... I feel like there's a very specific East Coast vibe that you grow up Coast. And my guess is that Joey has kind of like I feel like there's a very specific East Coast vibe that you grow up with. And my guess is that Joey has kind of like mellowed out since he moved to Hawaii is like fine. Like I feel like after three years in L.A., I'm finally like loosening up in a specific way. Yeah. So I think it was like that

change compounded with the fact that he was on TV is what contributed to him maybe being so like much more like smiling. He didn't like, cause like I come home and like, I'm swearing about the Patriots like within 20 minutes, but it's like, it takes longer and longer. We got a preview of Joey telling charity,

I can be difficult to date or some version of that. Yeah. That was shocking. Yeah. Freaky. I was like, what does this mean? Yeah.

It's probably nothing. Who is the real Joey? I can be difficult to date as we all can. Yeah, freaky. I was like, what does this mean? Yeah. It's probably nothing. Who is the real Joe? I can be difficult to date, as we all can. Like, you know, sometimes I'm forgetful. Like, I'm on my phone a little bit much, you know. He's like, I like tennis. I play a lot of tennis. I'm time blind.

Yeah, maybe he's got time blindness. Maybe he's hanging out with all the women at the country club, all the moms who need tennis lessons. Amanda, where do you stand on time blindness? I feel like I am very, very time. The only thing that trumps time blind for me is anxiety. So for situations like with work, I'm very anxious about being late. So I'm not late.

But with other stuff, I'm very time blind. So you actually recognize time blindness as a thing? I don't. Or just a way to describe someone who's like not particularly great at being on time? Yeah, I think I just go into hyper focus sometimes. Like I feel like it's like for me, it's like, I don't know. Like it feels connected to ADHD for me where I just like get very focused on stuff. And like truly time slips away.

I was more asking if you recognize it as a term. I think it's a great way to describe something. I don't think it's like a medical accommodation. You know, like I wouldn't be like, well, please don't make fun of me for being late to brunch. I am time blind. Like I wouldn't use it as like some kind of like diagnosis, but I do think it's a really good way of describing a certain thing

of being like, oh my God, I just like, there's this part of my brain that doesn't work and it's so stressful. Oh, I will definitely use it in the future anytime I'm late. Sorry, I just like I've got a case of time blindness. My time blindness was flaring up. Oh, sure will definitely use it in the future. Anytime I'm late. Sorry. I just like I've got a case of time blindness. My time blindness was flaring up. Oh, sure. Yeah.

I hadn't had an opportunity to ask you where you stood on that. I'm assuming you saw the time blindness girl. I've like heard tail. Okay. Legendary. Do pray. Yes, it's worked. It's been a tail.

It's come up. All right. Well, yeah, Aaron. So we're bouncing all over the place. Yeah. legendary do pray yes it's worked it's way i've heard tail it's come up all right well yeah aaron so we're bouncing all over the place uh yeah i joey um it's probably nothing but i would it would be kind of fun if it was something it would be fun what do you think joey's toxic trait is his part his hair part nick no i don't think it's that bad. Joey's a great looking guy. He's got a beautiful head of hair. It's a gorgeous head of hair. And I, this is coming someone from speaking who showed up

on Andy's season of The Bachelorette looking like my hair was electrocuted. So, nevertheless, I just think this is not Joey's best hairstyle. I think we gotta bring him in the studio and do like a bit, you know, like I would love to get my hands in there.

Yeah. Yeah. Really like give it a good sculpting. I think we could. It's not his best haircut, right? Do we agree? He's that guy from Love is Blind who had the curly hair and it was kind of short on the sides and then he had it hanging down.

Yes. I think that would look great on him. I think he'd grow out some bangs a little bit maybe and let the curls come forward. Maybe get a little bit of a fade on the sides. Yeah. Yeah. i think it's also probably just long because he's been on the season where like i think it's just longer than it usually is but i agree that the part is potentially i just had to look around the room quickly to make sure no one had a side part but you really shouldn't have a side part in 2023 i feel like i'm swinging back i think it's coming back okay miss 25 you can totally have a side part.

And listen, also, it really just depends on your head of hair, right? But that doesn't work for him. Yeah, sure. That's what I'm saying. Because regardless of the year, I don't care if it's back or not. I just, non-hairstylist here who doesn't know fuck. But like, yeah, I just feel like Joey, Susie mentioned this, There's often a glow up from first appearance to second appearance on the show. And I wonder if Joey's will include a different haircut.

I bet you it will. I mean, the potential there. Joey has major potential. What if he has a different haircut like for Men Tell All, you think? Which they're filming now. Entirely possible. Yeah. Does the glow up already happen?

Yeah. Well, because maybe they're preparing him I think if it has happened it might be a sign that they're preparing him to be the bachelor totally if not then it's like no one really cared people already like him you know what I mean well interestingly enough like

you would think they would be more proactive you know like I've always heard stories that like if they make you the best rat, there's like a whole team comes in and gives you like this fucking glow up. And like, like I came in in pretty good shape. So, and I, you know, I felt like I looked fine, but no, like they didn't really, I was like, can I whiten my teeth? They're like, sure. You know, like that was kind of, I had, A, I had to ask, you know, and B, yeah, other than like getting fitted, there was no like

Nick at the mani-pedi and getting his like skin glowing up and like there just wasn't that. And maybe that experience is different for other people or maybe they asked for it and negotiated, but I don't think it's standard operating procedure. And maybe someone, you know, someone might be like, hey, have you considered a a haircut but i don't think they bring in like a team and they're doing a hmm you know and like what do i need to do and work with and like the princess diary yeah photos and joey's is like you know a vessel for them to do whatever they deem appropriate because he's like they're a basher now that that doesn't happen but that might be intentional too because if if america falls in love with a certain way on the show, you don't want to show up as the lead and people are like, who is this? But could they fall in love with him even more if he didn't have that side part?

I can't even imagine. He's just going to have a buzz cut on mental. He's going to show up like Uncle Joe. Like, absolutely bald, glasses. It's a gorgeous head of hair. It's truly remarkable. Yeah, it is beautiful. I'm like, don't cut it.

Or maybe cut it, but style it. Style, yeah. I mean, he might need a haircut, but I would keep the length at least. Keep the length. Keep the curls. And some aspects of that. What do we know?

What do I know? What do I know? Don't include us in the what do we know. We know. Okay, I just, you know, I just say it. So because someone out there listening goes, what the what do we know. We know. I just say it because someone out there listening goes, what the fuck do you know, Nick? You pull out

some picture of me on The Bachelor. But apart from Joey's hair, do we have predictions about what he could be referring to as not always being easy to be in a relationship with? I bet it falls flat. I think you were probably right. You said, I'm busy.

I play a lot of tennis. Yeah. You know, I think that's probably right. Yeah. Like my job is really important to me right now. You know, something like. Something like I would say. I don't think something toxic.

He's just like, I just haven't found a coffee shop yet. And I really need to go find my own coffee shop. And I do not want to go to someone else's coffee shop i want it to be mine it feels really personal is it hot it is so hot in here it's crazy um what else could it be they said uh he's a people pleaser well that's what i'm wondering too yeah is being a people pleaser just a nice way of saying disingenuous? Or a hard time with boundaries. I've found that I've previously had a hard time setting boundaries because I'm like, oh, I want to make sure you're having fun and that you enjoy the relationship. But then my boundaries get overlooked and it's my own fault.

And I think that comes from like a people pleaser side of me where i'm like i just want everyone to be happy but then you're finally you're like i'm putting my foot down and i need to like i need to find my own coffee shop it's just interesting because it's a term that resonates with so many people like i would say probably 75 of people would say i'm a people pleaser just like 75 of people would say their ex was a narcissist so it's like to other people i wouldn't say i'm a people pleaser i think you're in the 25 for sure you think most people want to be called a people pleaser i think they would describe or maybe it's maybe i'm thinking of more like was it thought of as a common people

i feel like it's becoming like the new gaslighter in the terms of like it's really being thrown around and people are like i used to be a people pleaser and now i'm not being that but it's just like no you're being kind of fucking selfish yeah you know what I mean like I I that's what I think that's what I'm saying I think of one way or the other the people pleaser phrase not you not you I'm just kidding I'm dying I didn't even see you but no listen Suzy is being selfish right now. I am. It's okay to be selfish. Susie's on a journey to find a coach. No, it's okay. How dare you?

I'm selfish. It's okay to be selfish as long as you're up front about what you need. When you tell someone I need my own coffee shop, clearly that person is on their journey and they don't want to share it with fucking anyone else. It's the people who are selfish but pretend they're available to others and try to mask their selfishness as something else, like people pleasing or things like that. It's the lack of communication. It's not, you know, yeah, because no one, but yeah, right. We definitely live in a society where we're trying to find other ways to label activities rather than just naming it what it is.

Because I do think I would totally say like people pleaser. And I think for me, it's like I find more safety and feeling like welcomed in by others. I feel like it's almost like akin to anxious attachment of like I for me, it's like I just like I prioritize like harmony and feeling close with like the people I'm with and necessarily like stepping apart and like standing up on my own is the way that like i think of people pleasing another phrase we talked about earlier that's a good question is it is it a sincere compliment to the person's question a la dotten's mom asking charity i think it was something like what do you like wait wasn't it i think it was aaron's mom saying if he proposed today what would you say no no i think it was joey's sister joey's gorgeous gorgeous sister no it was with a mom for sure i thought it was she might have said it multiple times i think because it was at the end of the episode i think the one i'm thinking about was

i don't think it's the first time charity has complimented someone's question by saying that's a good question. But the one I'm referring to, I think, is with Dawn's mom. Okay. We all thought it was a different person. She might have said it three times. I mean, she is falling in love with four people, so we don't know. People love to hear about

how good their questions are, you know? Have you ever heard someone say that's a good question? You're like, yeah. Oh my God. I think about it in the car ride home. Oh God, I asked a good question. You do ask good questions. But is it,

is it a sincere compliment or is it just filling in air for an answer you haven't really quite figured out yet? And you're, you're saying it's a good question because you're like, you kind of stumped me

or you got me. And this is only to say like, that's a good question because you're like, you kind of stumped me or you got me. And this is only to say like, that's a good question is kind of not what you want to say to the type of question she's being asked because she is being asked these questions about these men, about how do you feel about them and the relationship and these parents are trying to catch in. And another reason why I think she ends up picking Xavier is because I think at this point she's pretty much locked in. When she was talking to Xavier in the coffee shop,

if you listen closely, I forgot. I wish I had a transcript. But she was talking about things they can work on and she was talking about the future. And he was like, yeah, we just have to take things slow. And she's like, yeah, there's these things we can do and because she's thinking yeah it doesn't matter how fast i go with xavier i'm gonna be with him after this show i have there's no catching up to do i'm not limited with time she's like planning already with with xavier and as great as her

relationship is with dotan and as wonderful as he is and as amazing as his family is, his mom asked a very honest question about their relationship. And again, I could be wrong, but like when I was in that world, when I was being asked questions by like Vanessa's family, I was ready to rock and roll, you know, you know, because it was like, let me brag on your daughter because I was super into your daughter at that point. It was like, I wanted them to ask me questions. I was waiting to gush, you know, and everyone else was like navigating, how do I figure out how to answer these questions while sounding nice, but not giving too much away because, you know, I want to respect everyone's family. And it was super difficult position to be in. And I just feel like that's a good question

is a bit of a kiss of death in the environment that she was in rather than a compliment to the question but i also think she's trying to even even if she has feelings because i do think she has deeper feelings for dot and i think she has feelings for all of them but like i think that's also that might just be her trying to take a moment to make sure that she's answering in a really articulate and honest way like that might be like her therapy training like coming in of like I don't want a word vomit I'm gonna take a moment and then actually make sure I'm responding with exactly how I feel and she is very affirming like I think she does a really good job of like making people like

kind of bask in her glow like I think she has this like positivity that's really authentic and so it's like I feel like it's kind of both where it's like it is both a time filler and a kiss of death and a reflection of the way that she is like an affirming validating person who wants to give credit to the people she's spending time with yeah no i know but it just doesn't your answer doesn't make my answer yeah it's both well yeah yeah but it's more about her just she i'm just saying she just she's not gonna end up with Dotton. Because to me, her mom asks this question that should have been such a layout for her. Instead, she got, let me think about that for a second.

I will be crushed if it's not Dotton. I hope it is, because he seems lovely. And they seem like a lovely couple. But I just, I said this while we were watching it together. I just think in general, most, most of the leads pick the person who makes them feel like they're one of the contestants, not the lead. You know, it's the person who like you're afraid might leave and you start worrying if they like you, you know, stuff like that. And that's usually who the leads end up picking. you know, stuff like that. And that's usually who the leads end up picking. And that's only Xavier. I think Xavier and Charity could have an absolute meltdown when they have off-camera time during fantasy suites. Like, I think some of the soundbites we've heard make me feel like,

depending, and maybe it goes smooth sailing and I really root for them because he seems like such a nice man. I think his hesitation is coming from the fact that he's very analytical. Like, I feel like with his dad, he was like trying to figure out the margin of error basically for like feelings like i think he is a very strategic person not in a bad way at all he's analytical he's a scientist he's low energy but i did think it was interesting and we pointed out like when xavier's talking to his dad it's not the dad being like so are you ready to get down on one knee i feel like usually we see the parents asking the questions and the kids are the ones bringing the bachelor or the bachelor at home having to kind of almost like defend the relationship.

Like, I know it's only been six to eight weeks, but I promise I'm ready. And instead it was Xavier saying, well, how do I know? Like he was like really like leaning on his dad, asking his dad questions, not the other way around. Well, what do you think about that? I think that could be a good thing. Actually, it's true. Because he trusts in his parents' relationship.

Yeah, I mean, yeah. He acknowledges it's a crazy situation. He's not going to defend it. He's going to try and talk to someone who he knows has been successful in love and relationships. I don't know. It's pragmatic of him, and it's thoughtful, and it's healthy.

But yeah, I think she's going to end up with Xavier. healthy but yeah i think she's gonna end it with xavier so i don't i don't think he's going to leave although we did this when i did art and marines uh podcast we were discussing something that we didn't discuss last week that xavier seems to really be like stumping for all the other men you know or she's like yeah i mean carl i i don't like on the group date before hometowns and someone was like i think it's gonna be you know uh aaron he's like yeah i don't know why it wouldn't be he's great like just like almost like hair here pick pick these guys like there's one thing about supporting your boys and there's coming across like you truly don't care and almost wanting these other guys to get a rose or the validation. And maybe I've always been on the assumption that like Xavier is just so

confident in himself that it's just, he's unbothered by it. Or maybe it's like, I don't honestly think that he's honestly trying to get these guys to get him to send himself home or, you know, getting these guys validation. But like,

maybe it is, there is an element of it would just be easier, especially if you feel like she might pick you. It might just be easier if she doesn't. Because even if Xavier ends up with Charity, and I'm sure if he does, he will have genuine feelings for her and there will be a level of authenticity of whatever that is in that world, obviously. But he's not insane. He's a thoughtful person yeah he is not going to be without like the understanding i'm sure of like all right i'm going to do this but like i i'm aware of what i'm doing i'm taking a leap of faith i'm taking a risk i don't think xavier is the type of guy

who's just like you know like and so if he's someone like that, there's going to be a part of him that could simultaneously have strong feelings for charity, want to end up with charity, and also think, yeah, but it would just be easier if she picked Dotton. You know? Yeah.

Because, like, I don't know. Is this nuts, you know? And the pressure that goes along. Like, there's a pressure that you feel of like, well, what if I don't like them? I think I do. I'm pretty sure I do. I know I do. But if I don't, am I allowed not to? Yeah. You know, and you don't get enough time to really know for certain, in my opinion. And I actually kind of remember feeling that in a sense when like I think they brought me back on and I was like you have two people that are down that are down to go forward but you want to pick me I

remember feeling that and being like I don't know and it doesn't mean that it's not true like we ended up dating for nine months after but you're you're if I'm like I'm unsure there's a very obvious two very obvious choices or multiple obvious choices and it feel it does it feels like a lot of pressure because then you feel this pressure to to figure it out and in reality i think i'm somebody that needs more time to than what you're given on the show to decide so i totally get where he's coming from and i think you're probably right he is probably just like it would be easier and not to say that it couldn't work out down the road or they rekindled or if they met in the real world.

But in this environment, I think his analytical brain is probably like. Yeah, I think that's what's causing him to be so like. Yeah. You know, like happy for all the other guys because he's really is. He really is torn. Yeah. It was charming to see him go to Cleveland. The knitting circle.

Well, not only that, but just him like Cleveland. to see him go to Cleveland. The knitting circle? Well, not only that, but just him like Cleveland. And I remember being so amped to go to Milwaukee just to be able to be home and like have your people.

Like it was nice. Like for a low energy guy that Xavier is, like you saw him really light up, you know, and I really, the knitting circle was great because I really respect people who clearly can make friends

with a variety of different personalities and backgrounds and interests and different beliefs and now granted this is the knitting circle but there was a it was an eclectic group and the fact that xavier is these are people he knows or has some familiar familiarity with that doesn't mean he's like besties with all of them but his ability to like immerse himself in that environment i respect the hell out of yeah and they have their own like lingo like when they were like it's most rewarding when you give a knitted object away yeah knitted object that's awesome i like the knitting community yeah i might want to get in on this absolutely susie what's like one of or i guess not even just one. What are some reasons that you are like if you had to pick team Dotton over team Xavier?

Anybody else? I mean, just from watching it, Dotton seems so genuinely down. He's like so into charity. I just feel like. I feel like Xavier is the guy that has like this mystery, the kind of romance, the butterflies. But I think psychology says I'm not just quoting psychology out here. I don't actually know. But sometimes those butterflies aren't actually a good thing.

They don't actually mean like security or longevity, but it's just exciting. And our brains think like, oh, this is that's the spark. And I'm like, yeah, but not always. Like sometimes it's better to choose a more reasonable person that you feel more secure with and less butterflies and so that's how i kind of am picturing it i don't know if that's entirely accurate but i'm like i think i will be disappointed if if it's not dotting because i just think he's so in he just seems so in on charity it's like you know i i always hated this when i was in Charity's position. People like telling you who you should have picked type of thing. Oh, I know.

But like, if Charity ends up with Dotton, we're assuming that means those are her strongest feelings. So I feel like if she ends up with Dotton, that relationship is a real shot. Exactly. And I feel like if she ends up with Xavier, zero shot. I kind of agree with that. It'll go for a while, but who knows? I could, you know, what the fuck do I know? Prove me wrong.

But yeah, it's hard to start a relationship with someone who's so unsure. I mean, Michelle Young was told by Nate's stepfather, he's not ready. You know? And at that point, it just didn't matter. And that's what I just feel like at this point, I think Charity knows,

and it's just not going to matter that like Xavier's mom was kind of like... Also, that was another point where Xavier's mom was, she was like, you know, do you think he's ready? And she's like, I'm going to be honest. Like, obviously, this is a short time, but he wants to be a father. And then immediately Charity's like, oh, he's ready.

I remember this part. And it was like, I mean, she said he wants to be a father. Yeah. Like, someday. Xavier's mom was listing, like, he knows he wants to get married someday. He wants to be a father someday. And Charity, at least it was edited to make it seem like she took that as he's ready now and i i didn't get that from xavier's mom but that's how it was made to look like charity received that message

which is kind of interesting it's what we've seen from her yeah you know where she has this idea of someone and she's pulling out and kind of looking at the details that make it make sense in her head you know yeah yeah just so i think it's so normal on the show because i remember after my first one on one just having this like idea of what blatant was and i think in general with dating i've had to really teach myself not to daydream about the people I'm starting to get to know because you're pretty much always going to be let down because you're just creating what you want them to be. Yeah, it's so easy to do on the show because you know just like healthier and more in their own like i don't know what the words i'm looking for but like yeah i just think that it's a very like high potential oriented job so it makes total sense to like see the best in people and be looking for that and

have that be in dating something that could be like a roadblock or challenging i don't know if it's their their charity therapist though i think that's charity the dater i love that you have the teeth of both charity therapist would be like i don't think you heard him right heard her right i like i just feel like she's multi-faceted so like it's like a venn diagram of like charity the therapist charity the dater but then also charity who's both of those they're all multifaceted yeah i'm just saying like if you were to like, I just don't think like not listening to what you're you're in this pivotal, very vulnerable state that she's in emotionally. Everyone at this stage is tired and she's has moments with these parents, people's parents to hopefully gain some real insight. But we've all been there. She doesn't want to hear that he's not ready.

You know, Michelle Young didn't want to hear that Nate was not ready. It didn't matter. And truly, like, I don't care what, you know, like, I don't think in the history of the show anyone's parents made a bit of difference. Because I just think you're so emotionally committed that, like, you're just like, if they like me, I'm going to pick them. And I like them the most. And I don't know if it's gonna

work out but i don't want to try to make it work with someone i know i don't want to be with a la the you know whoever else is there so i don't think it has anything to do with you know her therapy background i think it has to do with the fact that i think she's going to pick xavier and she wants to think she's making rational and thoughtful choices and she wants to think she's making rational and thoughtful choices. And she wants to think she's picking someone that is ready. So it's just easier for her to hear, he wants to be a dad someday to he's ready to be a father now. And I don't think that was her training in therapy or her empathy.

I think it was her wanting to convince herself. Agree to disagree. I think this proves how good this season is, though. Because I feel like, or at least how good Charity is at being the Bachelorette, because I feel like she's really giving these people all of it. Because I'm, in my brain,

I'm like, there's no way it's not done. But you seem to think that it's Xavier. And for all we know it could be Joey but like no but you're absolutely right a great season

is when you have two people who you're like really you have a hard time guessing who it could be yeah because you could make

strong arguments for both yeah and I'm not really confident in Xavier other than it's how charity is handling it it's not their connection

because and it's also just my familiarity with the edit until this episode and until this conversation today i thought i thought xavier was going home this week because i just felt like leading up to it he was like giving all these clues of like i don't know if i'm ready whatever and i thought that based on how things were handled previously in the season i'm like oh she's, she's going to be like, all right, you're out of here after this hometown episode. So I'm also very much unsure. Because I was in my brain, I'm like, oh, it's Dotton for sure.

But after this conversation, after this episode, I'm like, wait, maybe it is Xavier. And maybe the rational side of him will be good and they date in the real world and it actually ends up working out. Like if they're together, maybe it does work out and maybe it'll last. In my brain it

doesn't but like yeah i mean who knows i think all all those relationships it's an uphill battle it is so it's not it's not meant to be a criticism it's just more don clearly seems like a person who is more sure of himself he seems more kind of grounded and like kind of you know yeah just kind of comfortable where he's at in his life and again who knows like just maybe this is a fucking edit i don't know yeah that's so true you know but um it is being aired as if like xavier is wonderful as he is and he's charming and he's good looking is kind of like maybe not there yet to kind of get engaged in eight weeks as someone he doesn't know, because that's the thing too. So how do you make a relationship work where it starts in a six week, eight week bubble that's basically based off of all these weird things? You have to really put in

the work. As I'm sure you know, it's like there's a lot of conflict and drama and other forces you have to put in the work. You have to be committed. And to be committed in anything you do, you want to have the least amount of distractions. And Dotton comes across as someone who's like, I got my shit together. I know what I want in life. I want you. So now all I need to do is really put a lot of focus over the next year in this relationship that I know has a lot of chemistry and a lot of care where someone like Xavier or like Nate who, you know, I think if he ends up with, if Xavier and Charity end up together, I think Xavier like would, just because they really love each other.

There's strong feelings. But Xavier is also trying to like find a cure for MS and clearly is really involved in his work and so much that he likes to sew and he has his things he wants to do and like he's also like clearly been honest with other women you know about like hey I don't know if I'm quite there yet and I just think those other things going on in his life will take him away from the amount of energy it's going to take anyone in bachelor nation to make a relationship work which is why i think a relationship with dotten has a better chance of working out i also did you see the brilliant maybe everybody knows about this hack and i'm just late to the party but like

at the drive-in they had a straw on the butter dispenser that they inserted into the popcorn so that way they would butter the second half of the popcorn and it wouldn't just be all trapped on top. Yeah. I thought that was brilliant. You get a lot of stares when you do it, but it was worth it. Do you do it at the movie theater? Oh, yeah. Oh, so what do you do?

The butter will go through the straw? So you insert the straw into the popcorn. This is not something that the workers do. It's just something that the patrons do. Yes, when it's a self-serve. So it's a self-serve. You put the straw right on the nozzle. So that way, instead of the butter just going on top, it's being injected deeper down.

So that way, the butter isn't just sitting on the top pieces. It's like more integrated throughout the whole bag. Although I have seen workers at movie theaters say that it doesn't really work that well. So maybe I've just been fooling myself. Well, it's because it's going to sit there. Because if they do it for you, they will put a little popcorn and a little butter, shake it up, pull more popcorn, shake it up. And that seems to be just fine.

Yeah. But if it's self, like I just went to a movie recently and yeah, it was like, you do it yourself. You had to butter it yourself. And it was only on the top. And then halfway through, I was like, well, I'm done eating popcorn now. AMC had buckets. i think they still do they had buckets where if you bought the bucket then like the refills were like 4.99 or 5.99 or something and if you bought the bucket it was good for like

a year um so our whole friend group wanted to get buckets but none of the amcs in the area had the buckets so we drove two hours to apple Valley to get buckets and then we drove two hours back. That's wild. That's worth it. Did we not see a movie? What? No. No we did not. Just got the buckets. We did stop at Cracker Barrel. As you should. I have a friend that whenever there's a promotional bucket, he'll find one

that someone threw away in the trash and say he dropped it and asked for a new one. I did that in high school or shit like that. I've done that. Like in high school when shit like that i've done that like in high school when i had like no money yeah i definitely had picked up a popcorn out of the garbage can and asked for a refill in a new bucket technically that's stealing technically technically that's trash wild west like there's some tweet that's like why every time i eat popcorn in a movie theater do i turn into like a horse oh my god yeah i'm like like i'm like gobbling and

licking my own hand and i'm like no yeah disgusting i'm truly disgusting and it's dark so you're like so it's like nobody's seeing you there's no judgment judgment zone all right well final suzy so are you are you still gonna go dotting i think i am okay yeah i will say like i've been hardcore on xavier and most people i talk to are surprised and usually that's not the case usually everyone's like yeah you know me too i think that too it's pretty obvious so maybe i'm just way off but i just i i don't think i am i feel like it's the edit that most makes me think it would be xavier from the way they're framing it like they love a like comeback like not a clear front runner the whole time. So true.

That's why I'm second guessing. Now I'm, yeah, second guessing everything. You have to stick with that. And you're getting misty. I just don't think that's a good question. I was like, oh, shit. Yeah. Kiss of death.

I would like I just feel like she would have been looking forward to that. And then when she's talking to Xavier's mom, it's like, is he ready to love me? She was fact-checking her. Not the other way around. Dotton is tall, though. When he received his rose, you couldn't even see his head in the frame. Xavier's the same height. No, I think Dotton's taller.

Maybe by a little bit. When he got his rose, Xavier was in the shot. They had to pick which angle they were going with. Are they allowed to ride roller coasters? Who's they? Tall people. Tall people. They're gonna hit their heads.

When we're at like 6'6", like gotta be careful. I'm sure at some point there is a height Cut off. Yeah, for sure. Taller than 4'11". Shorter than 6' shorter than I feel like like yeah I feel like it's not six five or six six might

be seven foot seven foot anyway all right well Susie it's always a pleasure to have you truly it's been so fun please remind my audience where they can follow you your website you know especially for you know if you, any wedding

inquiries. Yeah. You can go to suzywaslike.com. My Instagram is suzycevans and I just started doing YouTube. I'm vlogging. I'm a vlogger now. Yes, she is. Suzy Was Like on YouTube. It's been fun. Check it out. Well, it's always great to have you.

Always, please, you're always welcome back. Great to see you. Glad to see you're doing well. Glad to see you're focusing on yourself. And we are excited to see your love journey continue. Same, one day. Thanks for listening, guys. Don't forget to send in your questions at asknick at thevilefiles.com. If you haven't checked out Ask Nick this week on Monday, it's a fantastic episode.

We also had an update classic last Friday that we dropped, so check that out. And as always, Vile Files Plus is available for you to check out our new recap of Vanderpump Rules Season 1. We also have a bunch of update specials available for you and our weekly

Pop Culture Roundup, so be sure to check that out. It's a 7-day free trial. I think I got everything. We'll see you back on thursday bye