The Viall Files - E69 Ask Nick with Nikki Glaser

Episode Date: December 16, 2019

Nikki Glaser comes back into the studio to help us answer some fan questions! But first, she shares a dating horror story. Then we talk to a listener who isn’t sure if she should break up with her boyfriend before Christmas, a woman who doesn’t want to sleep with the dog in the bed, and someone with a weird relationship with her boss. If it’s hysterical, it’s historical. Send your sex and dating questions to [e-mail].  THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS:  BUTCHERBOX: https://www.butcherbox.com/viall/ YOUSICIAN: https://yousician.com/viall BETTERHELP: https://betterhelp.com/viall ROOT INSURANCE: https://www.joinroot.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What's going on everybody welcome to an episode of Vile Files or Ask Nick I don't know I always like to mix it up special episode of Ask Nick mixed up I've been trying to have uh uh some returning guests back to help us with our Ask Nick questions one of my favorite episodes uh I've had of Vile Files, Nikki Glaser is back with us. And she's actually more famous now. So I feel like even more like even better for the Vile Files. Yeah.

You're like a really big deal now. You were like a pretty big deal when you came on. It was like a favor to our show. Yeah. It was like a new show. Vile Files was new. It was up and coming. That didn't feel like it to me. Now it feels like a favor. But show yeah it was like a new show vile files was new it was up and coming like it to me now it feels like a favor but before no no no it was it's always been exciting i am a

fan of yours and now i'm a friend of yours and so it's good to be here but yes i'm much more it's weird how that happens how you can just have a pop of fame i mean i was here less than a year ago and it's like it's a lot different now for me. Netflix special. Yeah. Things are good. But you know what? I want to say thank you so much. Cause every time you mentioned that I was your favorite episode on an

interview or something, people let me know. And it feels really good to hear that. So thank you. It was one of my, one of my favorites. I hope to beat that episode. Ooh,

I always want to be better. I don't compare myself to others. That's a lie, but I do compare myself to myself. I like that. I do that as well. And I, my, what it's one of my biggest strengths is I'm a tough critic, but it also just makes me generally

sad. Yeah. Yes. I'm never good enough for myself. Oh, for yourself? Or others. I mean, I don't think you've already peaked. And is that what you're saying? Like you can't outdo your... I just don't think I, I don't, I never feel happy about what I'm doing. Nick, Nick. Chloe's like, what's the next step?

I know. I see you struggle with like... Really? When we were out in the kitchen, you were so worried about getting in here and it's just like, man, it's going to happen. And if it doesn't happen, I'll be back in town another time.

And guess what? I'll be more famous when I come back in town because I'm only going up. And then you'll get me. Because I bet the next time this rolls around, I'll be way too famous. I don't doubt that you're on your way up. But everything works out, Phil. My fear is it'll be that point where you'll just be like, I'm busy.

You're a part of her act, though. I'm on my way down, and you're on your way up. You could end up going that way. I might get too busy for this, because I might just be too busy for this. And this doesn't pay and it's a chunk of my day. But until that happens, I'm glad to be here. And you need to just

you need to enjoy what you have. Okay. I'm working on this. But you seem so chill though Nick. You're always just like it is what I'm super chill like 95% of the time until I really care about something and then I get. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We've seen that side of you on the show. Really jacked up. Thank you for the note. Yeah. That was great advice because we're going to give great advice today. But Nikki, before we started the show, was talking about this hottie. He's sitting in your DMs. Set us up here. Here's what happened.

So this guy that I was on instagram one night and i went past a picture on a celebrity who i follow's feed and she was in a picture with a guy on set and i go jesus christ that guy is attractive who is that i've never seen him clicked on him go to his profile it says one of the options is follow back he's already following me i like doesn't that nice when you like when you stumble across like your internet stalking you're like oh who is this hottie do i consider sliding and he turns out like wait they've been watching me for there god knows how long i am i was stoked so i immediately follow back and then I'm like just waiting and I and I see that he is a fan of a show that I've been on did you know what Nick does where he goes you go to an old

photo and like it no no no I did I you know I thought about doing that but I I don't make any first moves with guys none following back is I don't I don't do that shit anymore it's like come to me I can't you followed back though that you did like, come to me. I can't. You followed back, though. You did enough. Yeah, I followed back. Yes. And he doesn't have that many followers, so I thought he'd notice. How many is not many? I think maybe under 5,000.

So I followed back. All right. And then I waited and I waited. And I'm'm just like when is this guy gonna write me i'm like he's not posting anything either so i can't like something new if he would have posted something new i would have liked it immediately but his last post was from like february and this was in like june or something so yeah i mean that's the thing he's clearly not active on it so like just a follow back isn't necessarily going to be like an alert exactly but anyways so i waited and i waited and then one night i was like and i it was clear that he followed me because he had heard me on this show that he's a fan of because it's a i just knew that's where he found out about me like

because sometimes the show is secret no but i just i don't want to give away who this person is gotcha so um then i one night i was like god he's i was like stalking him from afar he's so i'm like all my friends they all know about him even though it's nothing like it's literally nothing and i'm like i can't believe this guy's fault look at this guy he's like the hottest guy i've ever can imagine so then um i go to like see what it would be to write him a dm you know when you just like open it up to be like what would it be like like? Maybe I'll write him. I think one night I was like bold enough. What do you mean? What would it be like? You know what? I'll admit it. I opened it because I think I was going to write him. I was finally like, you know what? He's not active. I have to say something. Did you draft a couple drafts?

No. Usually I do that. I mean, my notebook in my phone. Have you ever slid? No. No. How would you slide? I wouldn't do it. That's how I How would you slide? I wouldn't do it. That's how I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't do it. I don't slide. Okay. I'm really about like. You thought about it.

So I was about to. I think I was going to just say, I don't know what I've decided on, but I just opened it up. He had already written me months and months and months, nine months before when I appeared on that show. You went from message to message and there was a previous message. months and months nine months before when i appeared on that show that i thought the message to message and there was a previous message there was a message request that i had never seen because when i did this show i got a lot of messages because it was a high profile show so and it was buried within tons of these messages i didn't see the blue check great setup now you can write

back without the pressure of sliding i wrote back and i said what did this message say it said was he was he sliding or was it like one of those well clearly he was sliding but was it was it obvious okay i'll read it to you okay okay um he wrote he wrote a lot um finally caught you finally caught up on the show you crushed the roast um i was walking my dog and laughing like a lunatic. And then he makes a joke, looking forward to your sex tape with blah blah blah. It was a reference to my appearance. Just make sure you get it in before another reference

to my appearance. You slay. You slay. And I go, is he gay? Slay with an exclamation mark. You slay. But I'm not going to judge that. Who cares? You're a little too critical. Of course I'm being too critical but it was a very sweet message

I don't judge that stuff anymore that used to like throw me off and I'd be like he said you slay I can't be with him oh come on I'm 35

I can't I can't write a guy off because he says you slay so then I wrote just saw this and it made my day nearly nine months later he goes

happy it finally found its way to you which I aww he sounds sweet I just left it. I didn't even like it. I didn't do anything.

I was like, you got to ask me a question. You just saw it? No, she wanted him to engage. I just let it sit. I just let it sit. He didn't engage. But he saw that you saw it and you just. I just let it sit.

Savage. Why? Go ahead. I just need more effort. I'm sorry, gentlemen. So then cut to my second appearance on this show, which after that conversation, happy it finally found its way to you

was July 23rd, September 27th, right after my last appearance on this show. Slay girl. Slay, back to the slay. Slay girl. That's a little aggressive. Again, finally getting through the week of the show, you're so fucking crack up, miss whole package because the person of the show you're so fucking crack up miss whole

package because the person on the show kept being like you're the total package you're the whole package you're the whole package and he said miss whole package winky face so a definite slide a definite uh you know i'm referencing you being he likes you yes so i i hearted that and then he said another then he followed up with a question about the show. And I said, yes. And then I answered him. And then we chatted some more. Finally, it switched to texting. And it just moved.

He wanted to FaceTime. I wasn't ready for that. It was moving too quickly. He referenced like us, like cuddling. It was just made me uncomfortable because I take it so slow. He specifically referenced you two cuddling. Yes, us two cuddling.

And it got a little bit too schmoopy for me. You know, Seinfeld, you're schmoopy. No, you're schmoopy. And I was like, I'll get that way with a guy when I'm in love with him. I'll do baby talk. Like I fall in love, but it's all, he didn't know me. You don't know me. And maybe he felt like he knew me because he heard me on these shows.

Can you tell us exactly what he said? I really, it's so much, like we have so many texts but it's like he just you know it was just like cheesy stuff about you know i don't know i just thinking about like when i messaged girl then i hear you you two talk about oh he said slay it's like just for that we're cutting them out no i'm not cutting him out and i'm just saying it i get it boners and then the slay queen here's the thing i'm thinking about that if i read to take our boners if i read that if i read the slay queen that seems to be aggressive but i will like sarcastically sometimes i think back i hear my friends like my female friends or even my gay friends will be like you go queen or whatever and so sometimes sarcastically i have like messaged that being

like clearly they know i'm joking but then i realize if you don't know me you might not know you might read it as like a very gay man or like a very like a very gay man like i would never say you go queen but like i would you're like sorry that's how drag queens talk i i will i've i've i send the um the uh girl emoji yeah that's cute but But like, even that. It could be misinterpreted. Should I not be using that if they don't know me? Listen, texting is very dangerous. I'm not here to say, he said slay twice,

and I still engaged with conversation with him. We switched over to texting. We texted all night one night where I was like, oh, I kind of like this guy. Then the next night he wanted to FaceTime. I wasn't ready because I was like, I had just put on night cream. I had like zit on my face.

I didn't want to do it. But there's nothing wrong with asking for the FaceTime. No, there wasn't. And I was like, I really love that you wanted to facetime i wasn't ready because i was like i just put it on night cream i had like my face i didn't but there's nothing wrong with asking for the face no there wasn't i was like i really love that you wanted to i'm just not in the mode to do it and i told him i was like it means so much to me that you like want to connect with me in that way and then it just i just wasn't the vibe wasn't there he wasn't making me laugh as much in text. Like, I just, I didn't feel it. He's so, so, so hot. He also, I heard, texted with a friend of mine. And then when he finally was able to meet up with his friend after texting with her for months, he, like, ghosted her when he came to town. So I didn't like that story. And so anyway, I.

So anyways, we, we, before we started recording, we were talking about. Wait, before we get recording, we were talking about- Wait a second. Wait. Before we get to that. Okay. Our last interaction before today was him saying, you're ghosting, pretty much calling me on ghosting. Yeah. And he asked me, how's the afterlife? Which I thought was funny.

That is funny. And what did I say to that? Hold on. I'm not good. He goes, I'm off at three o'clock. I'll be done around three. I'm off to the today, but I'll be done around three o'clock my time if you're free later. And then he wrote back two days later, she died that day.

Because we were figuring out a time to FaceTime. I said, oh yes, yes I did. And he goes, what's the afterlife like? And I never wrote back. That's funny. So then I liked, I see that he's watching my videos. I'm like, I'll just be like nice. This guy, I liked one of his

posts the other day or twice I think I liked his post because he's still hot I still like to see his face and his body and he goes then he writes me today but then before we got in the studio we were talking about dumb hot guys and Nikki goes I've recently

had an interaction with the most beautiful dumbest hot guy of all time. In your mind. We're not. This is. Yes. Whatever. Yeah.

And four minutes later, you got a text from sad, dumb, hot guy. It wasn't even four minutes, Nick. It was like right away. It was crazy. It was wild. And I have. So then he writes. The last time we talked, let's like, that was on October 22nd.

So this is like less than a month later. He goes, oof. Oh no, he goes, have we already defaulted to the Insta like, Insta like slash zero talking phase with a, with an emoji with like a. Ears were ringing. I know. And I go, and I just replied, yes. Right away. Not even, she just like, she sees it were ringing. I know. And I go, and I just replied, yes. Right away.

Not even, she just, like, she sees it. I'm not even, that's even harsher. Like, you didn't even have to think about it.

You were certain of your decision. Well, let me just say that Nick goes, yeah, I was going to say right, yes. And so I was like, okay,

Nick, Nick Vile gives relationship advice and he's always so good at it. I'm going to trust him blindly. Because it's honest. So I said yes. Which is fine. I think it's, you don't want to meet him. I don going to trust him blindly. Because it's honest. So I said yes. Which is fine. I think it's,

you don't want to meet him. I don't. So it was cold and it was harsh, but it was real. He goes, oof. Oof. This world we live in.

Yeah. No, you ruined his day, but it's fine. So I wrote, as we're walking into studio, I'm like, I got to send off something to this guy before we go live.

You know, I don't want to leave him hanging with oof with the world we live in. He's going to go jump off a fucking bridge. So go i'm sorry i'm emotionally unavailable and you seem great and it scares me exclamation mark oh no you did that it scares me move because it does scare me when men are really like nice to me and really no i wrote that i said i'm sorry i'm emotionally unavailable and you seem great and it scares me does. I am like when guys are actually like me and are pursuing me, I tend to go like, no, no,

no, no, no. Sure. And it's that's what I do. And he goes, I didn't ask for much. I get it. We're 3000 miles apart. Don't put so much on it. And I'm like, all right, well, then I'm out of the clear.

And he's a little his ego is a little bruised. Everything's fine. This is a this is a great breakup. Great. This is clean. everything's fine this is a this is a great breakup great this is clean it's fine yeah but is her is she saying that she's scared perpetuating that myth that people i am i mean listen yes i can't get into the like i as far as why we did this or why or why whatever but it sounds like for whatever reason she that she wasn't into it she wasn't into it for it maybe maybe she could go to like therapy and figure out why she didn't fuck the hot guy i don't know but

you weren't into it no you didn't meet up with them nope and finally you just said listen i'm not into it yeah and he wrote back something and you were probably fairly honest even that was kind of a joke about being emotionally unavailable it's not a joke it's 100 true i wasn't trying to joke in that and he's right by saying listen i wasn't expecting much but also he is now responding because his ego is definitely bruised and he was not so but it's fine he'll move on you're gonna hear from him again though yeah you think yeah because he'll be bored he'll be bored i know someday he'll be bored he doesn't. Someday he'll be bored. He doesn't really like me. He's just bored. It's a really nice reminder that it's true. When a guy all of a sudden starts hitting you up.

You hear from a guy out of nowhere. Yeah. He's bored. Well, same for girls. I know. Yeah. It's people. Yep.

It's true. You start going through that Rolodex. Yeah. Nick, what's going on with you? Who are you dating? No one, really. No one? You just,

you have like a stable of girls that will hook up. I call them a stable. I've been in a stable before. A roster? Yeah, a roster. Did you know you were in a stable? Um, no,

but you know what, like, I should have, well, you know that you're like a girl, yes, I have actually knew with one guy I used to sleep with and like hook up with

at that like late night. You just hook up after you've hung out with your real friends and then you go sleep with this guy who has never met your friends and you've never seen in the light of day. Yeah, that guy where you're like you in the morning you go, do you remember where I parked my car? Like you're lost wandering around his neighborhood. That was me in 2008 living in Los Angeles flirting with a DUI every night of my life. Glad I got out glad i stopped drinking but um yeah i've been in i i get the stable i wish i could do a staple so bad i really i i i'm not saying i haven't at times had what seems like a small rotation when was

last time you had sex uh two weeks ago two weeks okay yeah you're due yeah yeah so two weeks but i'm not i don't it that gets exhausting and i often i don't really do that much anymore yeah i i feel like i'm in a uh i'm russian no that but i'm gonna sure always uh but i'm not uh dating i feel like i need one of those like i don't believe in like saying i need to take a time out from dating i'm still open i Sure, always. But I'm not dating. I feel like I need one of those, like I don't believe in like saying I need to take a time out from dating. I'm still open. I still want to date.

But like I need to, you know, sometimes you go through these periods of trying a little bit more or trying less. And I feel like I need to go through a try less period. I am doing the same thing of like, yes, I'm going on a Raya date tonight, but I am not pursuing men anymore at all and i was i was for a while i just let one guy go that i had so much stake in you know

like all my eggs were in that basket which i always know not to do i mean this is i'm 35 i've been through this a million times if there's a guy that is so unavailable for all of these reasons and you're still like you know what he's gonna get it together and you know that they don't and i just but but it fell through and i was really like i was probably sad about it for five minutes this time good for you and because i didn't put all my eggs you know what's really interesting he was my best bet but he failed and and then hold on i just want to just say when when those crushes go away, I hate not having a crush. I hate it.

Crushes are fun. They're so fun. I get concerned for myself because over the past year, there's been two women and actually relatively at the same time that I was crushing on them. And it's hard for me to crush in my life now. I don't crush very easily or often. But these two women I did crush on. And you are a player. You don't crush very easily or often but these two women i did crush on and you are a player you don't crush a lot sure um and they were just you could tell they weren't emotionally available and ultimately i for just kind of for fun i kind of put it out there i'm

like i'm kind of interested to see where this goes only of it to be like not immediately not reciprocated the way i had hoped and i kind of knew it i think deep down only to fast forward like these two women are still like periodically in my life at a distance no were you sleeping together when you were like one of them i one of them i we were we were sleeping together the other one we never slept together they were both girls that at first you did not consider like girlfriend material no i'm saying there are women at first that unlike most women i mean i was like they were age appropriate it was just like i find you i find you really intriguing and i'm open to considering this kind of thing and so i decided

to kind of put myself out there a little bit only for it to kind of be rejected in a way. I kind of knew deep down and I was a little bummed, but I get concerned for myself because I think my picker's way off. My point of saying this is fast forward like five or six months. These women are still periodic in my life. They'll check in and nothing against them, but they're truly just messes.

And they've become friends and they've put it out there that they want to reconnect. And I'm kind of like, nah, I'm good. And it's not because you hurt me. I just kind of see it a little more. And I'm just like, why am I chasing people like you?

You're so- You're unavailable, so you don't have to commit to them. You're a fucking mess. And you're lovely and great, but man, it's just like, what is my problem? Nick nick i look back on the ones that i like i saw on this saturday and i was just like what the fuck man like you're cool

you're really interesting but like you're a fucking mess on saturday it was before it was before it was before like we grabbed dinner with it wasn't a date like we catched up but she was being super weird and i was just like I thought I would have there was a time when I might have thought fuck it let's date oh my god I mean yeah dude like you asked me about an ex on Saturday night that I was

like embarrassed to even admit that I had dated that person because they're such a mess and there's like but you don't know I mean like the ones I was like oh maybe i'll give it a shot you know what do you mean well those are the people like i i haven't again i haven't crushed i don't crush very it's hard for me i get scared because like when i meet someone i don't really feel anything i don't know if i'm supposed to like you or whatever but these two particular

women i was like i'm intrigued i don't know i know it felt like i was chasing like i was 22 again and that was fun yes it's it's exhilarating to have these crushes and I just even though I know these men are so bad I I liked a guy up until two weeks ago who is a guaranteed sex addict like sleeps with a different woman every night and I don't I actually don't care because I'm kind of turned on by that and so I I don't want them to like give me diseases, but like you can, you can still have your side pieces. And like, as I'm the main chick, I'm kind of okay with that.

But, and it's not because I don't think I'm enough or whatever. I'm actually turned on by it. It's a long story. Dr. Drew thinks I have emotional issues. But like sex addict has a kid, never really asked me on a million dates has flaked on all of them. And I'm like, I'm going to marry this guy. Like I was positive of it. And then last week I hung out with him and I just, there was one moment where he just didn't even see if I had a drink. You know, I arrived at this bar and he wasn't even worried about me. Get like, wasn't worried

about where I was sitting. I was, I sat next to him on this bench and, um, there wasn't even worried about me get like wasn't worried about where I was sitting I was I sat next to him on this bench and um there wasn't a lot of space for me and it wasn't like oh he wants me to scoot close to him so I have to like it was just not there was no awareness of me and I just looked at him and I go this guy does not give a fuck about me and it was so clear and so freeing and then I just relaxed and was like I'm gonna go and i took an uber home and i was maybe sad for a minute but then since then i haven't looked at his insert i don't care and i was all about that dude when someone just shows that they don't like you and they can't be there as like a partner you just go what was i thinking well that are just like i mean for me it was just like there's like a mess it's just like oh my god you're just yeah it's uh but it's just like i think back

i'm like i'm getting like it makes me worry about myself on that note since we are obviously two people who have it all figured out let's uh see if we can mess up someone's life Question time with Nick. Let's ask Nick your sexy questions. Hello. Hi. How's it going? Hi. Good. How are you?

Great. I'm Nikki Glaser. Hi. I just watched your Netflix special. Nice, girl. Thanks. I'm a big fan. Awesome.

This is not set up. What do you want to know? What's your name? How old are you? Oh, thanks. I'm a big fan. Awesome. This is not set up. What do you want to know? What's your name? How old are you? Oh, yeah. Well, I'm Sydney. I'm 24. Sydney, do you want to be anonymous?

No. No need. That's fine. Great. Yes. Put it all out there, girl. Yeah. Put it out there.

Sydney, 24. How can we help? So a little backstory. I have been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year now. About like eight months in, I realized like it's a good relationship, but he's not the one. And I was kind of in the mindset of like, well, I enjoy hanging out with him. I'm originally from Minnesota. I moved to Hawaii.

So I don't have family here. I don't have a lot of people here. You're in Hawaii now? We like doing the same things, just hanging out. And I'm like, I'm not ready to get married right now anyway. So I'm just going to stick around kind of thing. He is in the military and he gets out next October. And so I was also thinking like, well, that'll be like a natural end of our relationship, whatever. Um, but now recently

I've been thinking like, okay, this really isn't right. I feel like I'm making excuses. I'm wasting my time. Um, but Christmas is coming up. It's my first Christmas, not being able to go home back to Minnesota for Christmas. Um, and he also goes home every year for Christmas, just randomly decided this year he wasn't going to go home either. Um, and he hasn't said that it's because of me, but I'm sure it is. Um, and so I feel kind of guilty if I were to end the relationship before then, but I also feel like I'm just making more excuses to drag it on. So I guess I just need like an objective opinion of what I should do. Yeah, you should definitely break up with him.

She says home from Minnesota. Yeah, I can hear it. Yeah, listen, I think you seem pretty clear what you want to do. I don't think you have a lot of questions in terms of your trust your gut. Your gut's telling you he's not your guy. That can be scary. Did you move to Hawaii for him? No, I met him once I was here.

Okay. But you've probably spent the most time with him since you've been in hawaii so you have an attachment there um the holidays are tough i mean yeah like there's no good time like breakups in general suck right there's no good time in terms of like what's the best time to break up with someone does it suck that there's always gonna be a thing oh valentine's day is coming his birthday's coming his mom's um you know bar mitzvah well that's not a thing but you know what i'm saying and here's the thing it's like you you're like and you're trying to figure out what's better do i do i do i break it he's gonna come home for the holidays and i think he's gonna come home for me

so like oh is that mean so should I just stick it out? Personally, that's inconvenient and that sucks, but I think it's actually shitty to waste each other's time and spend a holiday with him and under false pretenses and kind of pretend to be into him, make new memories potentially only because you felt bad for the holidays. It's almost like you're using someone for a companion. I mean, you know yeah he might have a bad christmas but at least you're not he's not going to feel used okay right i don't yeah i mean marry him stat just kidding um this guy here's the deal girl you got to break it off as soon as possible he can still get tickets home it is his decision whether he goes home for the holidays. You do not affect that. And yes, he is going to stay there for you.

But he has friends in Hawaii, too. He's from there. He can have a good holiday without you. It is not you are not responsible for his decision to go to not go home for the holidays. He made that choice on his own. And it is not up to you to try to appease him and make his holiday happy you're just going to be putting off more pain later so just do the hard thing which is break up with this guy and um and he can still go on kayak and get a great rate home for the holidays and keep in mind it's still early enough my guess is that's a great point to get home it's not christmas yet at all and well i'm sure you feel bad there's probably a part of you that won't admit it,

but there's a part of you like, well, I don't want to be alone for Christmas. So like, maybe I like him. You know, like you're, you don't want to admit that, but there's definitely a human element of like,

you're kind of using him because you don't want to be alone. So just be real about that because- Do something nice for yourself yeah um definitely don't wait till like he's out of the military to break up you know like get it you guys are both young you don't have time to waste these are valuable years of your life to not spend with someone deep down in your gut you feel like is not your person and that's okay i'm sure he's fine

let him and if you break up with him now, he might like really fight for you and then you'll feel really good about staying with him. This might bring up some stuff like maybe trying to break up with him will make you have some real talk that will make you realize you do love him. And then if you're meant to be, you'll work it out. Probably not.

If you're meant to be. I don't think you should think like that. But I'm just saying, if he wants to fucking win you over, he'll find a way. Just out of curiosity, for argument's sake, why don't you feel like he's your guy? We're very opposite, which is fine, but it kind of brings up a lot of arguments. And then I also just feel like it's kind of a surface-level relationship,

and I thought that maybe if I gave it more time, it would change, and it just really hasn't. It just hasn't deepened. Yeah, so this isn't a matter of her not feeling valued or wanted in her relationship. No, I'm saying— She's just like, I don that maybe like if I gave it more time, it would change. And it just really hasn't deepened. Yeah. So this isn't a matter of her not feeling valued or wanted in her relationship. She's just like, I don't really like it. But the conversation might get deeper of like, what are we doing? Who are you? Who am I?

And then you might open, you might crack something open if it's very surfacy. Because under duress, sometimes you just go, okay, what do you want? Like, I don't know. I have a feeling it won't last longer if but it might be a good little holiday um resurgence to your romance and then you'll break up by valentine's day i definitely think you should break up with him asap give him a chance to alter his plans if he was ultimately just coming home for you because there's probably a part of him that senses you're being distant you probably yes and that's why he's like oh and

he's like oh you know what i'll just probably. Yes. And that's why he's like, oh, I will go home. And he's like, oh, you know what? I'll just go home and salvage this relationship. Yeah, he knows. He probably feels it. He's seeing. He hasn't seen as many tit pics. He's like convinced that he's just doing it. So give him an opportunity to leave and really trust your gut here because you seem really

certain that you don't want to be with him and that's okay. Don't. Well, I get what nikki's saying don't let them convince you to stick in a relationship because it's like because you're alone in hawaii being alone in hawaii sounds amazing yeah people do that worse to get away like that would be what i would do after a breakup let's go to be alone in hawaii so you're living already where most people flee to and there's there's no other guy in the picture or anything you just you just realize he's not no yeah he might resent you more after christmas too because you're like we just spent such like a special time together let's say the alternative you stuck with

him through the holidays and then you broke up with him and he somehow he's like well how long you've been feeling this way and you like through an argument it's like i don't know since november like well wait why'd you you just well i didn't i felt bad like no guy's gonna want to hear he stuck you stuck with me through christmas because they felt because you're pity no one wants your pity yeah um so and again i do think if you do it now you has enough he has enough a week to alter his plans and if there's a good chance he is doing this because he senses you pulling away and he's and he's and he's trying to fight for you in this way good luck all right good luck thank you happy holidays you're gonna be you're gonna be great trust trust your gut follow your gut yeah keep us updated sydney i once broke

up with a guy on black friday and his friends said to him later on we became friends and he goes when you broke up with me on black friday keith to me, you know, she wanted to break up with you before Thanksgiving. He was like, and he nailed it. I'm like, Oh God, you know, I did wait. Cause I didn't want to ruin his little turkey dinner. I wanted him to have an appetite. Whenever you get dumped, that wasn't the day they woke up and thought I need to end end it. No, not. They thought about this. They've pined over it. How do I do this? Should I do this?

You spent a lot of time with a person who hated you for several weeks as they built a case. Yeah. And the courage. It takes courage to break up with someone. It's not easy. So just know that. But thank you for calling. Thank you.

Yeah. Never. I do think, and that's what when when we say we want to break up when people think of reasons and we've talked about this before like i feel bad i feel bad i feel bad no you don't really feel bad you just don't want to feel guilty yeah you're trying to like save someone else from hurt and you can't really that's not your job just do do what you can control and yeah don't try to please other people that's been the worst is like i've been in relationships where i was just like pretending to be the version of this person i thought this guy would love and i still struggle

with that i still try to like i find that women do that more than men it's really gross and it like when you're just sitting there and you're being like i don't even like this movie or like whatever it was such a thing i did in my 20s and i can't do it anymore and it's almost to my detriment but um like it's just i have a raya date tonight are you excited no i'm dreading it so much so much i think i hate dates so much i dates so much. I think it has a shot to be good then. Really? I mean, you're dreading it. You're not looking forward to it. I would rather do anything else.

All it can do is meet your expectations. Oh, that's a good point. Or be better. Oh, that's so good. That's a great way to look at it. Oh, no, don't get me excited about this now. I don't think you should be excited. No, I'm dreading it.

It will probably be as expected. Yes. But if it is, then all iting it. It will probably be as expected. Yes. But if it is, then all it is is... It can only go up from there. How's it going, Liz? It's going well. It's going well, thanks. How old are you?

Well, do you want me to dive right in? Yeah, I just wanted to hold you our first. That's rude. That's how we start the show. Oh, okay. It's like, hi, I'm Liz. I'm 34. Some girls don't want to say what their age is she's anonymous i love when women do though it's and you're 34 so i think who cares all these questions age is totally important it's important you're right you're

right okay liz 34 all right hi i'm liz i'm 34. And my question revolves around my husband and a small dog whom he loves very much. Okay. And I know a lot of people are just obsessed with their pets. And so I think that someone else might be able to relate to this. might be able to relate to this. But long story short, when my husband and I got together about six years ago, we spent a lot of time at my place. I knew he had a dog that he loved to death, which I thought was adorable at the time. But we just didn't really spend a lot of time at his place. So when we moved in together, I started to realize that he, you know, he has the dog sleep with him in the bed. And for me personally, that's just not my jam. I'm not a big fan of having animals in the bed.

The hair, like the possible feces, like the fleas. I don't know. It's just, it grosses me out. So you're like, it's fair to say that you're like the opposite. Like you're fine with pets, but yeah. You don't mind your distance from a furry creature. Just not in the bed. Like I'm cool with snuggling on the couch. I volunteered at an animal shelter, you know, I've got it. I love animals, but, um, it's just, I don't know the hair and everything.

It just, I can't do it, but it is a dog that he's had for years since the dog was a puppy. So I brought it up to him at the time. And I said, you know, maybe we could have the dog sleep outside. And there were just all these reasons why it was not going to work. And the dog was, you know, barking and crying. And he's an old man. And there were just so many things that made me feel like a doggy step monster. I couldn't do it. I felt so bad. So I kind of just heavipped into that at the time. But as time has gone on, it's affected, you know, I'm starting to kind of emotionally build up a little bit of resentment, feeling like he chose the dog over me and had some discomfort, you know, when I,

multiple things like that. And I don't want it to continue to build, but I am feeling now that the dog's even older, it's just gross for me to even you know how and but you're married now yeah we are married how long you guys been together you have a two-year-old you have a two-year-old we do so how many years has this been going on for from the time in which you you've been sleeping with the dog for six years or no they've been together for six years you moved in together when um we moved in together about a year and a half into our relationship so five years how old is the dog now yeah let's just get to it let's let's just keep it real here how many more years what kind of dog

what kind of dog oh he's adorable yeah that thing's gonna last he's gonna live forever by the way that's like the small ones it's a small like chihuahua half chihuahua they'll live forever oh and that thing looks like it's a hundred already that means it's three it's a good looking dog yeah you got a long time with that dog it's small which is a good thing um right it's the best scenario recently you've brought broached the subject with your husband and he's just like nah no she hasn't reason no he he it frustrates him because i think he wants he likes to find solutions when we have issues and we bring them up like if there's no solution or if he doesn't feel like there's a solution if he just doesn't want to talk about it stop

bringing like get over it basically because i mean seriously what are we going to do this little dog is ancient and he's very attached and i i do feel bad i mean so it's kind of i'm torn really it's interesting it's interesting because like i i i see both sides i'm more like you where i like pets just fine, but I don't want one in my bed. You know, that would get frustrating. While it's not me, I know plenty of people who are into that. I feel like in a relationship, I don't know, you know, tie goes to the person who doesn't want the pet in the bed, but you kind of went along with it to appease them. And it's kind of like you kind of created the monster.

You literally made your bed and now you have to sleep in it. And there's a dog in it. And it's a harder argument for you to win now. But the only, I don't think it's, unless there's deeper issues that you aren't sharing, like feeling like he picked the dog over you is probably not you know you probably don't have to feel that way because like he's just a guy who loves his dog and that's not abnormal this is not like your husband's a freak dog lover like

this is a pretty common thing for people who love their dogs. Unless you feel like this is just a, you know, unless there's other things going on where he makes you feel this way. And this dog has become like the, the thing you kind of make excuses for, you know, like are there other situations where you feel like at the end of the day, you express that you want and your husband either try, you know, like does your husband, every time you have a problem, does your husband try to find a solution to appease you? And then if that solution doesn't

work, he just dismisses what you want. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, that's really interesting. There were other things, especially in the beginning of our relationship, along with the dog, maybe that kind of the dog has been the surviving catalyst of those issues in which he would kind of put other things before me to keep the peace with other family members or, you know, those, I feel he's grown, but I think you made a really good point that, yeah, if he doesn't see a solution to a problem and it keeps coming up again and again, he just gets frustrated and doesn't want to address it or talk. Can I ask you a question? Can you name...

And it becomes the dog in the room. Can you give me an example of a time that you guys disagreed on something? He tried to find a solution. He couldn't. And then he just said, you know what, babe, this is important to you. So that's what we'll do.

I was prepared for examples that went the opposite direction, but actually, um, so it took a matter of years, but in the beginning of our relationship, we did have one of my in-laws living with us and it was really, it was very difficult for me, but, but after about four years, we finally got to the point where we parted ways with, um, with that person. And it was a lot of it was because I just said, look, this isn't healthy for our relationship to live with this person. So, yeah. Okay. So, I mean, he clearly is willing to do after years for, I mean, listen, an in-law situation can be real sticky, right? So he still did it, but yes. I mean, listen, an in-law situation can be real sticky, right? So he still did it.

But yes, I mean, my guess is the dog alone is not reason to think that he doesn't put your needs before the dog. But there could be an overlying theme here that sometimes you just want to be with someone who you say, hey, listen, I'm calling in a favor. This is important to me. And they go, all right, fine. You know, and it's kind of a balance. But yeah, I good job on that. You're good at this. I was going to say, like, I don't know.

I just go go to couples counseling like you need a mediator because it seems like you're this... Are you guys talking about this issue on the regular? You're just building resentment for him. Well, it makes her not want to have sex because she doesn't want to, like, be... With the dogs there when you guys are hooking up? It... I have to push through every time. It just...

It's a huge turn off for me. Yeah. I just care. You can lead with that. I get that. I'm not turned on by you when there's a dog in the room. I don't enjoy sex as much. I don't want to touch you as much. I don't feel close to you. The dog is keeping me from feeling intimate with my own husband.

And I want to maybe bring a specialist into the home to figure out a way that the dog can be in the room with us and maybe not on the bed. Because I just feel like the bed should be about you and me sexy times. Yeah, I think that's fair. And I feel like maybe you should kind of think about this for a while, but it might be like something you want to express to your husband where it's just like, listen, I just want to once in a while be able to ask you a favor and tell you why I want and just have you simply say, okay, babe, like, I don't want everything to be a negotiation. Great.

Or you problem solving. I'm just telling you, this is important to me. I don't need you to agree with me. You don't even have to like, like it. I just want you to do it for me. Can you give me an examples of things that he likes that you just agreed to do because he likes? Blow jobs. of things that he likes that you just agreed to do because he likes? Blowjobs.

Yeah, I think so. I mean, a simple example would be just revolving around food, going to Chipotle every day. I'm getting an impression that you do a lot for him simply because he likes it and he and you don't feel like he's reciprocating yeah and not even and i think you feel like deep down like the only time you get away you have to fight and scratch and claw to finally be like literally him to give in yeah problem solve and problem. And you're just like, fine, I'll go to Chipotle. It's fine. I'll manage.

And I think you just want some reciprocity in that. And I think you need to express that to him. And maybe that might require some couples therapy. And why don't you just get a cat and you say, I want this cat in the bed with me. And then have them fight to the death. Nikki plays dirty. And then you win whatever. Not an option.

I don't know if that's going to solve your problem. This is great advice. Girl, I feel you. When you just take so much and you build so much resentment because you're like, we always go to Chipotle. He never even cares what I want.

But the thing is, you haven't said what you want in so long. And he thinks you like Chipotle. Men don't even think about our needs as much as we think about our needs. And they really shouldn't. You need to make your needs. You need to be a squeaky wheel to get the oil. They're not going to think about it.

That's really helpful, too, because in fairness to your husband, all guys have that problem solver thing. And human nature, you give someone an inch, they I'm a, all guys have that problem solver thing and human nature, you give someone an inch, they'll take a foot. You know, like, I don't think he realizes maybe just how selfish he's been. I don't think he even tries to be, but you've been like so willing to be accommodating. And all he is thinking is like, you're not on the same, you're not communicating on the same page. He's just thinking, what's the big deal? It's my dog. I love him. You know, I don't think he appreciates that you feel the way you do.

Right. And I think you need to try to express that to him. And it's just about like not having to fight for every little thing that you want. Like you want to, you just want to get your way once in a while without like having to be so understanding. You know, I think you should read that. Why men love bitches book. And I know you're already married and it's a book about like getting a man but i think it might just empower you to

just because that book's more about just being a woman who knows what she wants and having self respect and having a guy honor that and want to honor that because he sees you're a woman of virtue who knows what she wants and it might help you to like harness this energy to like kind of change the vibe with you and your husband and it might end up that he's super turned on by it and like wants you to stand up for yourself because so much so many of the times i think i like just wanted to make guys happy so that they wouldn't be mad at me and i think that over time they started kind of like testing me where i'd be like in ways where it's like are you gonna be a doormat right now oh you're gonna be a doormat again and then they just fucking don't even respect you.

And then they're just mean. And I'm not saying that that's, that's just been my extreme version. That's the extreme version when they get even in relation, even in healthy relationships, you see a little bit of that too. And it's just like, you know,

you want, if you keep getting your way, you get used to getting your way and then you'd be kind of become a bit like he's going to be a baby early on in this. When you to rectify this he's he's gonna throw a little bit of a temper tantrum and i honestly think this could require some sort of like this is a communication issue like you guys are not communicating and you think you are like he thinks he's doing something you you know what i'm saying but you guys are like taught you're you're here he's there and you feel like you're on the same page but you're not it's funny he keeps saying there's no solution where the solution is the dog's not in the bed anymore he's

not seeing that but again he's just so used to you know he is not used to in any way just saying you know what babe you want this like you got you should want to be in a relationship that once in a while you just say this is what they want and i don't need to justify i don't need to understand it yes yes so that's why when guys to justify i don't need to understand it yes yes so that's why when guys are like i don't eat pussy because it's just like not my thing i'm like yeah i don't want it i don't need it to be your thing do what i want right well i do you think i suck dick for the taste of it get down there this is a prefix menu why yeah yeah yeah it's pre-fee tonight yeah so like you yeah i don understand. What's on the menu?

Food, dick, pussy, whatever. I don't care if it, I don't like the taste of it. It's pussy. It's not, it's not, doesn't actually taste good. It's, you should want to bring me pleasure. I don't care if you don't like it. Do it. Yeah.

Hopefully this was helpful. Not about the dog, that much we know. Yeah. Good luck. Thanks, Liz. Thank you. Thank you so much. No problem. this was helpful not about the dog that much we know yeah um good luck thanks liz thank you thank you so much no problem i i have fine i found love good for you truly you hear that every girl that's listening do you suck dick more than you get eaten out? I would venture to guess that it's a yes. I have found. Dick sucking and pussy eating are not, they're not reciprocated in the same way. Girls, I have a new thing.

If you suck his dick, he's got to eat your pussy and vice versa. It has to be even. I'm tired of this. I agree. And I have found that I think it starts at an earlier age. I was talking about this with a friend.

We've talked about this on the podcast too. P i think more and more people porn's more accessible yes now and and i think it's always been the case but more than ever before younger people are learning how to have sex through porn yeah guys and women and they both feel and the important is based off of getting a guy off so and i think a lot of women are a lot of women are like they feel like they don't want to put a guy you know they don't want to like inconvenience them they don't know if they like them they don't they don't feel good about it so they're like it's fine that's fine and i think they don't even like i've had women say like i don't really like that and then i through conversation found out they don't know that they don't like it they just i don't know it's fine it's fine i don't want to make him do anything he doesn't want to do and i don't want to you know it's just like why don't know that they don't like it. They just, I don't know. It's fine. It's fine. I don't want to make him do anything he doesn't want to do.

And I don't want to, you know, it's just like, why don't you just sit back and just put on a movie you enjoy, just kick back and I'll take it from here. Oh my God. Did you hear that ladies? That's what we deserve. I love that. You really, we do feel like we're inconveniencing you by asking for you to go down on us when we suck dick all the time.

Like it's a prerequisite as a woman to suck dick. Whereas men, there's some men that just truly do not do it and it's not okay. And, um, and I love what you said about that. Um, also I think a lot of women don't want guys down there cause they're like

embarrassed about their vaginas. Girls are just like, I'd rather he just touch it. I don't want him like face to face with it. Then he's just going to see it for what it is. And it's disgusting. And it's, it's like, just have pretty he just touch it. I don't want him face-to-face with it. Then he's just going to see it for what it is, and it's disgusting. Just have pretty good hygiene. Yes, just clean it and let them down there, and they'll love it, girls.

And sometimes you don't even need to clean it. There are fucking sick guys out there. But ideally. Yeah, I always clean, but I know that there are some guys that wouldn't care. They're so gross. Well, I will say it's like after, oh, I've been working all day. It's fine. How's it going?

Hi, I'm Sarah. I'm 26 years old. Hi, Sarah, 26. How can we help? So, here is my situation. About a year ago, we got a new boss. I've always gotten along really well with my bosses, but this is my first boss that was an attractive male that was my age. So it was our first time being in that situation.

We hit it off. Me too. That's why I picked it. All right. Hot boss your age. Sorry. We got distracted. We're all kind of masturbating. We all just got really horny. She's married though. Oh, you're married. Yeah. We both are married, but we hit it off right away and we became really quick friends and I thought that that's kind of so we both were in that place where we understood that we were friends and suddenly he started sending me like long complimentary texts like on a daily basis like pages long complimenting my work ethic you know so it was um work related but suddenly it started shifting to more personal things um fast forward now a year later I'm in a new job and he continues to text me all the time

I kind of thought the communication would fizzle out and it hasn't um so I'm just curious if I am doing anything wrong by continuing the friendship when it seems kind of obvious that I think there might be something else there on his end. My husband knows and totally doesn't care because he trusts me, which is great. What does your husband know? All of this. What exactly does your husband know? Does he know this guy exists? I have sent my husband screen grabs of some of the very overly complimentary texts. And he just laughs. He thinks that it's funny.

Have you ever said anything appropriate to him? Because I get you like. Inappropriate. Yeah. Have you have you ever said anything to this guy that made me made you feel guilty? No, not. No, I told him that he's a great boss. And now that I'm in a new job i told him you know my

new boss is great but obviously i miss having you as a boss but nothing inappropriate or flirty yeah so other you know okay so other than like when you first started working there you thought he was hot which is a whole totally human reaction but you never you never felt like you were emotionally fantasizing about this guy it's like you never felt guilty that you just acknowledged that he was hot yeah oh yeah and my i told my husband that too because we have that understanding we are very realistic that we know that we're gonna think other people are super hot love it so i told them and i was like that we get along great um and i thought that we were great friends but i i just can't tell if I am leading him on by continuing to talk to him.

Interesting. Well, I don't think it's your job to figure out whether you're leading someone or not. I mean, you can only do what you do. And you know, right? People know. You know when you're being manipulative or not. You know when you're saying things to get a reaction because you're bored or not or lonely. You just want someone to give you the attention you're not getting elsewhere people

you know when you're doing that we all know you know we can pretend we don't know but i'm sensing like you know and this question is about like you seem like a good person who's you know doesn't want to be a dick and all things being equal like you like this guy that is a friend and it's fine but if you i guess what i'm saying is if you feel like it's inappropriate at all i think what what value is he bringing in your life as a friend like do you really need him as a friend because i wouldn't worry about him not a great perspective on things but i don't need him in my life as a friend i just think like the fact that you don't know what his intentions are and like you don't need him in my life as a friend. I just think like the fact that you don't know what his intentions are and like you don't need him as a friend.

You have your husband. You have other friends, I'm assuming. Like, yeah, if this guy was like more of a casual, if you never got an inappropriate vibe from him, that would be fine. But your gut's telling you that there's something off there and out of respect for his wife or the fact that like it could get messy. Like I don't think you should be in a marriage or any relationship and to the point where like you're

kind of trying to cover your tracks not that you're doing anything wrong but like you have a good relation with your husband you're like hey just so you know like here are some screen grabs i'm not doing anything wrong but this guy keeps reaching out you have the control not to respond like you don't need to respond you don't even work for him anymore and like while it might seem like oh it's a bitchy thing to do like in the big picture it seems to be the right thing to do and the cleanest thing to do because like there's no upside like what's the upside of continuing to talk to him like you're kind of you kind of have a friend that you don't really need the downside is you could be the other woman like what if he

what if his wife finds these texts right and and then she doesn't really know who you are and all of a sudden she gets all these ideas it becomes this very dramatic thing and even though you're not doing anything wrong you could be part of a story that you don't want to be a part of great point yeah yeah you gotta just i would ghost him honestly what if you're not gonna see this guy just stop and you're gonna get flooded with like i thought we were friends this is really disappointing you're gonna get all of that stuff from him i really felt connected to you i never said anything inappropriate like he'll take it a million places and you'll see him fucking spiral and you'll want to get the hell away from it which you already should i mean he's being inappropriate

i would just block not block but i would just just if you want to like there's no i think you knew whatever you want you could block them whatever the safest way just kind of let it fizzle just kind of don't respond one word yeah ghost them yeah i don't really respond i mean again you don't work for him if he like pressures you for a spot like oh i'm, oh, I'm sorry. I've just been busy. But don't like just send that and don't follow up. Don't make any more of an excuse. And then like don't respond again. You're still actually busy, you know, in a sense.

So like. Who is it that says I would like to excuse myself from this narrative where you just, you know, you're not part of the story anymore. Just like remove yourself. I mean, you really got to trust your gut here. There's just this is like a case of upside downside downside there is literally no upside here with a lot of potential downside um yeah so i his feelings about not wanting to hurt it like he'll be fine yeah and you still have like these but like he's still your kind of boss to you you can't get that he's not anymore you don't owe this man literally anything. Yeah.

Yeah, don't be rude. Like, you know, just let it fizzle. That's why I wouldn't block him because you never know. Yeah, yeah. Like, you don't want him to leave angry. He'll be angry in the short term. But like. Old cold-hearted snake over here.

No. I'm not good at this. Yeah, you're right. But in this situation, just in case, like, she could come back around and they work in the same industry and maybe like you guys could yes he could want to be a reference you don't want him to feel like you ended it you just want him to like you want him to realize you know what maybe i took it too far like that way hopefully he has an opportunity to be like you know i probably shouldn't have sent that don't make him feel like he did something wrong like it's not again that's not your problem just slowly go away yes yeah we have a lot of interest like we like to talk about

interesting things we both love to debate which i think is what kind of made us hit it off in the beginning so maybe if i just make myself less interesting be a little boring to talk to i think you should stop talking don't talk to him delete his number friend you can find other people to debate with join a debate don't slowly like you need to like that's the thing you need to stop being his friend you need to stop do doing all the things not slowly but at once stop doing anything he enjoys like he has a wife and he probably has other friends he you feel like there's something going wrong because in your gut something's telling you is off and you need to trust that.

And like, you need to cut that cold turkey. I was in this situation. I deleted him from my phone so that I didn't have any desire to text him. If he texted me, I'd respond professionally. You don't recognize the number, you know, like you can mute it. Do all these things to help you not feel bad,

but like, do not, don't kind of talk to him. I don't think you do, don can mute it do all these things to help you not feel bad but like do not don't kind of talk to him i don't think you don't feel bad at all but you know at this point again you've asked the question you've gotten the advice but just make sure like if you really want to do the right thing you need to really do it and and and yeah cut him out because i'm sure you enjoy his friendship he's a good guy but he's not actually adding value to your life. Yeah, he doesn't sound that good. He sounds like he's emotionally cheating on his wife. No. Yeah, I think that that's solid advice.

My husband, because he's the only other person I've gone to for advice, kind of went with it. Well, if he doesn't express that he has feelings for you, then why does it matter? Don't do anything. It's a waste of your time texting with this guy. Something feels off to you. Your like you got yeah something feels off and again like this is all up in this isn't like your lifelong friend you're talking about this is some guy you've been like best friends and you like finally you're like and you've he's just a guy you you've known for a

little bit of time and you had somewhat of a connection and maybe a different life you would have been friends or maybe even hooked up, but you are, you know what I'm saying? Like this is just a guy who's a small phase in your life. He's just some guy. And you can probably connect with, if you were single, you would connect with a bunch of some guys,

you know, it's just, it's, this is not no one you need to keep in your life. For sure. Yeah. That's kind of what I was leaning towards, but I wanted to see if you guys agreed more with my point of view or my husband's.

So I appreciate it. Yeah. I mean, again, your husband too, like your husband's saying this because he wants to make sure like, well, I have nothing to worry about. Yeah. You know? So he's kind of saying this because he wants to believe and say out loud that my wife would never cheat on me and you probably wouldn't, but that's not the point.

The point is you don't know what's going on on his other side and you need to remove yourself from potentially a toxic situation. Yeah. All right. Well, thank you so much for calling. All right. Take care. Bye.

Nikki, this has been a ton of fun. So fun. What have we learned? We learned, well, I will say, whenever you feel resentment over something that seems silly, there's a bigger issue. Oh, the dog thing. The dog thing, right? Like anytime you're like,

why do I resent him for something that he or she does that seems so dumb? If it's hysterical, it's historical. Ooh. Always remember that. If you are freaking out about something, it's historical. Always remember that. If you are freaking out about something, it's because something in your past is triggering it. It's pent up from something else.

That's a saying that I use a lot. If it's hysterical, it's historical. Yeah, it's something so, I feel so dumb. There's something else there, either from your past deeper in a relationship you need to handle, or even in that relationship where like, it's not so much the dog it's just like you don't this you don't this happens with everything it's not the dog yeah that's the one thing you can pinpoint

before we go i i heard you're talking a lot about nick in your comedy i would say i think i said to you guys it's four out of seven times I'm on stage I say Nick Viles name I got a text from a friend who was at one of your shows surprised you haven't gotten texted way more I thought you had way more friends than you do

or I thought people would tweet you at least and be like Nikki Glaser's talking about you because people always message me whenever you talk about me oh

your friends your fans rat you out mine are true to me they go they know that what stays here doesn't leave here no they maybe no they they always tell me nice things you say but i but i say nice things about you on stage but it's um it's very fun because um yeah i mean like do we do we even have time i want to know what you talk about. Oh, I just say that like hot guys. I like I talk about how I love hot guys. And like I was like the hottest guy slid into my DMs. I was like, I remember watching this.

I was like, it's one of the bachelors. I was like, I remember watching his seasons. He was on The Bachelor. He was in The Bachelorette. He was a bachelor in paradise. And I was like, and I go, we're hanging out. And I'm like, am I going to bang one of the guys? I go, when he DM me, I literally thought it was my make a wish being granted.

I was like, what is happening right now? And it turns out he just wanted to start a podcast. And, and then I have a joke where I go, he was just like, Nikki, I really just like respect you comedically. And I'm like, but I don't think I've ever said it'm in those words but i know you do but i do yeah but i wouldn't say it that way you're an amalgamation of a lot of hot guys that i think i'm like gonna hook up with and then they're like i just want to like work on this project with you right but which is like it's very nice i'm flattered i know i'm funny but i just want to know that they would

fuck me right that's i i don't need to be told I'm funny and like you don't need to be told you're handsome you want to hear you're funny I am more insecure about being handsome right I want to know I'm hot yeah okay good you are you're so hot and so I'll tell you it all day long for the rest of your lives together

so so hot so um so but the joke is I was like he says um you know i just like i i just respect you comedically and i'm like can't you also disrespect me sexually and that's the joke and then um and then i say and girls and i was telling you guys this but every time i say that it was one of the bachelors girls are always like how how girls are just screaming and i go you calm down you bitches they get so riled up no one ever heckles me except that point in my show and i go i'm gonna tell you who you think i'm gonna leave

you girls hanging if you watch the bachelor you're gonna care if you don't you're not gonna know who this is but you're gonna google them later and then at the very end i go oh because then i tell this whole story about how like you know becoming of famous, you get to like suddenly have have chances with guys that you used to watch on TV before you were famous. Same with Nick had that experience. Yeah. So access. Yeah, exactly. You get this access that you're like, I grew up watching that person.

Like I not that I grew up watching Nick, but like I watched his seasons and was like on my couch. I remember like with I watched your seasons with my boyfriend at the time and was just like kind of like horny for you next to my, like he probably got laid because of you. And so many men in the country got laid because of you because girls get horned up watching that show, watching you like touch someone's face and tell them you love them and like confess your love.

And you're just like, why can't my boyfriend do that? And so I was like, so I explain who you are, like that kind of thing. I just like why can't my boyfriend do that and so i was like so i explain who you are like that kind of thing i'm like and i explain this whole i i i kind of put you into the center of this fight that i had with my boyfriend that wasn't about you but it was about one one time we i saw a hot guy on tv and i accidentally gasped and he heard me and i didn't mean i just was like he's so like, like, and it could have been you. I mean, it was, I forget who it was, but I gassed.

For fun, we'll just say it. It was you. Well, I do say that on stage. I go, this guy took off his shirt on TV, and I gassed, and my boyfriend at the time got so mad. He like, I felt his energy like shift on the couch. Like he like turned and looked at me,

and I had to pretend a spider was on me. I was like, oh, a spider, which made sense because cobwebs and um and and so then I developed this whole thing about how you and I like uh that we were hanging out and I'm like am I gonna bet and I and then at the end I reveal you go am I gonna bang Nick Vile from The Bachelor and then the girls go and I'm like I know and people sometimes go no Nick and I go you don't even understand how hot he is. You think you wouldn't.

You'd be grateful for Nick Viall to even want to touch you. I was like, I get so mad at them. And it's just a really fun bit to do, but it's all based upon you. I want to go see that live. That sounds lovely. Yeah, and then they talked to me after the show about you and there were people like,

yeah, everyone's on your side. No one's really. No, there's definitely, I mean, it's fine. There was one time where they weren't. It's 82, 82, oh, they is like

a whole audience? Well, I told you about that last time. It was like this Bachelor podcast I was doing and I was talking about how hot you were and they were like,

of all the Bachelors you could sleep with, it was Arden Mirren's podcast. She did live one and and i was like nick vile this is long before i met you yeah it was before i met you and um and and and the girls were like no and i was like oh really oh you wouldn't like just shut up you a bunch of austins. You would be grateful for this Milwaukee 10 to even grace your presence. So yeah, I go to bat for you. Oh, well, I appreciate it.

And I go, and I say, you know what? Then I kind of go into this thing about hot guys are stupid hot guys. And I kind of lump you in with that. And then I go, actually, I just want to be honest. Nick is not stupid. He is funny.

He is charming. He is handsome. And I'm only saying that because I still think I have a chance. Oh my God. That's a great sign. I like saving it with that. Well, I love having you on.

Come back anytime. What are we calling our listeners? Have we decided? The Vi-Fis. The Vi-Fis. We voted on it vi nikki helped with that yeah royalties are i'm a vi-fi too uh the vi-fi is a very defensive of of me when people are critical yeah good they should be i will be too i did i sometimes i'm

like chill out it's fine i like them we're having fun no i i always because like for a while i was crushing on you so hard my friends are like he's a dumb guy from The Bachelor. I go, no, you don't know him. He's actually really smart and interesting. And shut up about my crush. So yeah, Wi-Fi's are defensive for you. Yeah. I'm a Wi-Fi. I'm a Wi-Fi.

All right, Nikki, I really appreciate it. You're welcome. Thanks for listening, guys. Always sending your questions to asknick at, asknick at, what is it? to AskNick at CastMedia.com. Cast with a K. Don't forget to send us in your five stars. Thanks for listening.

We will see you back on Wednesday.