The Viall Files - E710 Going Deeper - River Rose’s Birth Plus The Most Hated Man in America and Love is Blind Hot Takes

Episode Date: February 22, 2024

Welcome back to The Viall Files: Going Deeper Edition! To start things out, the household gets together to talk about recent headlines - such as Tom Sandoval’s New York Times Article and our Love is Blind hot takes about Chelsea, Jimmy, and Jessica. Then, we talk to Nick and Natalie about the birth of their daughter River Rose. We talk about Natalie’s pregnancy, the decision to induce, the night they headed to the hospital, and what the birthing process was like. We also hear how the first couple weeks of parenting are going. Then, we have a Sweating The Wedding caller who is grieving her own wedding based on her family’s behavior. Finally, we have rapid fire questions to Nick and Natalie about hospital bags, parenting, and their relationship!  Start your 7 Day Free Trial of Viall Files + here: https://viallfiles.supportingcast.fm/  Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to [e-mail] to be a part of our Monday episodes. Listen To Disrespectfully now! Listen on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/disrespectfully/id1516710301 Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0J6DW1KeDX6SpoVEuQpl7z?si=c35995a56b8d4038 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCh8MqSsiGkfJcWhkan0D0w To Order Nick’s Book Go To: http://www.viallfiles.com  If you would like to get some texting advice on Office Hours send an email to [e-mail] with “Texting Office Hours” in the subject line! To advertise on the show, contact [e-mail] or visit https://www.advertisecast.com/TheViallFiles  THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: LeatherHoney - This podcast is sponsored by Leather Honey, Amazon’s #1 best-selling leather care products. Visit https://LeatherHoney.com/VIALL20 to get 20% off your Leather Honey Complete Leather Care Kit!  Apostrophe Skincare - We have a special deal for our audience: Get your first visit for only five dollars at https://www.Apostrophe.com/VIALL when you use our code: VIALL. That’s a savings of fifteen dollars! This code is only available to our listeners. Thank you Apostrophe for sponsoring this episode. Goodr - If you want to support the show and pick up a pair, goodr is giving our listeners FREE SHIPPING on your first order! You can go to https://www.goodr.com/Viall and use code Viall to get FREE shipping. Episode Socials: @viallfiles @nickviall  @nnataliejjoy @alison.vandam @dereklanerussell @leahgsilberstein @justinkaphillips  Timestamps: 00:00 - Intro 01:43 - Tom Sandoval’s Article 14:40 - Love is Blind 26:52 - Being Pregnant 34:37 - Getting To The Hospital 54:24 - The Birth 01:11:06 - First Days Home 01:26:01 - Sweating The Wedding 01:41:41 - Rapid Fire Questions 01:48:14 - Outro

what's going on everybody welcome back to another episode of the vile files going deeper edition i'm your host nick joined by the household we got the uh sweet boy justin alley and leia with us today and it's a very special episode because returning to the vile files the one and only love of my life my fiance soon-to-be wife and mother of my child as a guest returning as a guest are you not even a guest i'm definitely not your pop culture correspondent today no she's mother no mother mother uh natalie joy is with us to tell our birth story thank you for having me thank you for coming yeah i'm so excited how's your heart my heart is full oh yeah wonderful welcome back babe by the way thank you much. It's been a while since I've been on this couch. It's been a bit.

We've missed you. Have you? The household's missed you. The household, really the household extends to you, the listener. You know, everyone really is a part of the household who listens to the show, whether you like it or not. You know, some of you are, you know, permanent household members. You've been with us for a long time.

Some of you guys kind of visit here and there. Treat it like an Airbnb. Like an Airbnb. Come in, come out. Some of you guys are squatters. Loitering. You're not even welcomed, but you don't leave. Who's that, Nick? But we appreciate you all for listening. And yeah, so it's a very special episode for us. Before we get into our birth story though uh let's uh run through any uh you know news that's going out there i know tom sandoval is on the cover of uh is it the new york times expose uh that dropped on tuesday uh this morning when we're recording this episode wow it's a wild he just he's the gift that keeps on giving the title is how tom sandoval

became the most hated man in america which i feel like title is rhetorical yeah it's like we know i feel like they could have had about it's an excellent article uh it is really good i felt like the title could have it's like we we know how yeah a couple of takeaways for me um starting off strong is he needs to fire his publicist. Riley. Oh, my God. That was wild. She was featured way too many times in this article.

And the fact that she's also interviewing him is bonkers. It started off strong with a background in crisis management. And then it kind of fell off the cliff from there. She does not live up to her title. What were some of the best quotes from that article regarding her? Like, she seemed as curious about his life as much as I was. We were also joined by Riley, who's on Sandoval's new publicity team, which has a background in crisis PR. I assume Riley would be impediment, but my fears were put to rest when she didn't flinch at the Danny Masterson comment, which that comment was very valid. Yeah. Tom Sandoval said, I feel like I got more hate than Danny Masterson.

He told me and he's a convicted rapist. That is a valid. I agree. I mean, to put some perspective on things, what Tom Sandoval did was wrong. It's nothing compared to what Danny Masterson has done. It was not necessarily the mainstream news that you would think it would, given the horrificness of what he has done. That is a valid point by Tom Sandoval.

The valid points ended there, though. I was going to say his comparisons weren't all there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no. This one was. Okay. This one was. But she did not flinch at that comment.

Riley is 23 and has watched Vanderpump since she was in middle school and seemed as interested in Sandoval's life as I was. When Sandoval described how, despite their gnarly national televised split, he and Maddox have continued living together, sequestered in separate parts of the five bedroom home and communicating via assistance. Riley was curious to hear more in quotes. So all of her stuff is still here, Riley says. Like, you don't want to wait till maybe after the reporter leaves to ask these follow-up questions. Wild. Wild. I mean, usually in these types of, like, exposés where, like, a writer will come to your house, like, they're not just interviewing.

They are observing you. It's an uneasy feeling, you know. Sometimes, you know, a New York Times or a Washington Post, you think this is, like, a big deal. I had a couple of these opportunities for my, when my book came out. And, you know, like you're not just being interviewed, you're being observed. So in addition to their questions that you're answering, you know that they may be commenting on your living room, your kitchen, you know, your how your body language, you know, anything else that was going on in the house, you know, Natalie wasn't there. She was visiting home in Savannah at the time where I conducted an interview. But had she been there, Natalie would have been a subject of the interview. Now, when you have a publicist there, sometimes they don't even allow publicists to be present for things like that. But if they are, the agreement is the publicist won't really interject and they'll be almost silent unless

like something were to come up you know they might say hey we're not answering that question they might say things like this is on background but i'm not you know and add context background being like off the record but for her his publicist to just interject questions. They bring up the infamous Kristen sleeping with Jax and Tom punching Jax at the bar in season two, season three. What was that? And Riley remembered watching that episode with her middle school friends. We were all like, this show is epic, she said. Sandoval, dude, it was. It was so cool, Riley said.

Like, they're just having this back and forth. My take is that they met this day. Yeah. It says that she's a new publicist. And I really feel like she just met him that day. And she was more curious about his life than she couldn't help doing her job. She forgot why she was there. I also think that they used her for suspense because there's a line where it says, I looked over at Riley, who's typing fiercely on her phone. Like, it's like, is that really what you're saying? Like, they're going to come on everything. But is that really necessary for the writer to say that?

Well, the writer is saying it about Riley. So that was after he said, I asked S said. But I witnessed the O.J. Simpson thing and George Floyd and all of these big things, which is really weird to compare that to. I think. But do you think in a weird way it is a little bit the same? Nope. He says. No. And that is when she looked over at Riley and Riley was doing her job and was immediately texting all of her upper heads and is like, we have a crisis. Do we know who she was texting? maybe she was texting her middle school friends being like omg can't believe because a publicist on site would just again that's where they might interject and say hey can we shift the conversation or try to you know a background in crisis PR. That statement from Tom, bit of a crisis.

She was acting after the fact. Like it didn't, she didn't do anything. Texting on your phone. What is that? I'm so also confused how she has a background in crisis PR at the age of 23. Well, it's entirely possible that she, you know. No, the company that she works for is crisis PR

and she just got hired. Oh, not her specifically. Not her specifically. Why would they give Sandoval the brand new, like, first day on the job, you're going to be working. Let's give the guy who needs the most help. Maybe that's what he can afford. Well, and it does say that Riley's boss is his publicist. Oh, so she's busy.

Oh, okay. She was probably pissed. His boss is busy. How'd it go? Yeah, so she's not. Oh, okay. She was probably pissed. His boss is busy. How'd it go? Yeah, so she's not necessarily the direct publicist. Well, you know, I have a publicist and then she has a publicist who work for her and they're part of my team. You know, the thing about publicists though, there are some really good ones.

There's your trees of the world, Taylor Swift publicist, very professional, very, you know. Megan Smith of the world. Megan Smith of the world. And then there's the Travis Kelsey's publicist of the world, where many of a publicist got into being a publicist because they started being just big fans of celebrities. This is how they got access to celebrities. So a publicist is very tapped in

to the inner workings of celebrity life. And it's very obvious interacting with a lot of publicists that you have to find ones that know how to be professional because ultimately they got into the biz because they liked being around celebrities. And it started as fans. And Riley sounds like a fan. A fan of Vanderpump. Oh, you're a fan of Vanderpump. Why don't you take this one? That was probably her boss's approach. And that backfired. It was a wild article. I think she was texting with somebody at Bravo because then the next day, Riley texted and said, he'd rather you not attend today.

And then the article goes on and says, what was it that he said about OJ Simpson and George Floyd exactly? Like, that's what Bravo was saying. So the executives and yeah, everyone, his publicists, everyone starts coming out being like, wait a second. It's a very tone-deaf comment, so. Yeah, I mean, despite the overwhelming sensation that Scandival was, there weren't worldwide protests. And, yeah, the scale of George Floyd,

not to mention a man died. Yeah. Not to mention the alleged. Nicole a man died. Yeah. Not to mention Nicole Brown's murder. Yeah. That was a racial topic as well with the OJ Assumption Trials, you know. And so that was so to compare yourself to a worldwide or national situation that involved death and discussions around race. It was a leap way too far for Tom. Maybe a bit of a stretch. But I think what this article does point out, which I have suggested, it's just like, it's not an excuse per se, but he doesn't seem to know better. You know, it's like it doesn't register with him. There's a lack of sophistication. You know what I'm saying? Because I mean, there's a specific quote where it says Sandoval is so well trained at narrating his innermost thoughts out loud that he sometimes

has to remind himself not to do it outside of filming yes so i mean he's just unfiltered no that's he is tom sandoval of vanderpump there is no character there is no like and it says that in the article too that there's just no differentiation between who he is on camera and one of the parts of the article that i love the most is when they were getting ready to sit down and record, Sandoval was like, do you want to record this? Yeah. And he thought it wasn't recording. Yeah.

Yeah, he was worried that they wouldn't catch his OJ comment, maybe. It's, I mean, it's, yeah. And then the article does talk about, which in a very fascinating way, again, what Vanderpump became, which is like a reality TV show of like, like when Melrose plays back in the day, 90210, even friends, like popular scripted shows in the past that were shows about group and friend dynamics and ancestral dating and things like that. that and Vanderpump just kind of became one of its kind a show like that and then you know almost the sacrifice that it you know took for these characters you know and what it was it was just kind of fascinating what were your thoughts on what the article had to say about Baskin talking about how he wishes Scandival never happened because of what season 11 has become and the

future of Vanderpump given the scandal. Well, it's interesting because there's been so many rumors about Vanderpump potentially being canceled after season 10. So that doesn't really quite make sense because Vanderpump, even if this is the last season of Vanderpump, they got one more season out of it. And they also got record ratings for season 10. I mean, it's interesting that he said that, but I don't know how genuine of a comment that is. But again, we're only speculating off of rumors about how long this show had left.

Did anyone else know that Sir stood for sexy, unique restaurant? I did not know that. No? No. Now I want to go. Yeah, I definitely didn't want to go before, but now that it's sexy, unique, I'm kind of interested. You guys haven't been? Nope. No. I've been too. I have not. It is nothing to write home about. That's what I'm kind of interested you guys haven't been nope no I've been too I have not it is it is not

nothing to write home about well that's what I've heard also interestingly this article says that Raquel made $19,000 per episode

for 18 episodes let's do the math $342,000 yeah we did the math holy shit $342,000 and that's why when she when she went on the record and she's like I was paid like an intern Lisa Vanderpump was like Three hundred and forty two thousand. Yeah, we did the math. Holy shit. Three hundred and forty two thousand dollars. And that's why when she when she went on the record and she's like, I was paid like an intern.

Lisa Vanderpump was like, babe, no, no. But she Baskin said, are we supposed to give her retroactive payment for having a clandestine affair for eight months? Because remember, she was like, I asked for a raise. I am shocked to hear that she is making nineteen thousand per episode. But it also makes me curious what is Tom Sandoval making? More than that. Well, didn't the article

said it was like for season one, all the cast members made $10,000 for the whole season and now cast members are getting up to $35,000 an episode.

So I'm assuming he is one of the longest running cast members would be one of those in the 30s. And at 919 episodes is every season 19 or that was just no just that season. Yeah. Season 10 had 18 episodes.

It does provide a lot of context to the griping of Bethany Frankel, who probably I think in her heyday was making close to seven figures filming a season of Housewives. And again, there is no shortage of crazy, desperate people willing to embarrass themselves on reality TV. And when that's what you're competing against in terms of a slot on a show, it's not quite the same as actors who really hone in on their craft. And Tom says that. He says at the end of the interview, he says, and now I don't have very much respect for actors. I'm like, y'all try to do this.

I'm like, okay. I mean, I don't know. I mean, what Tom is willing to do and sacrifice his character and credibility, his reputation for the sake of entertaining television, because it is. I mean, it is not for everyone and it is not easy to do and it is a sacrifice. I don't think anyone looks at Tom with respect. It's more, I think people are in awe of one's ability to go that far for the sake of the show. I have embarrassed myself on reality television.

So I'm not one to necessarily talk about someone's willingness to do this. But I think the limits into which Tom and some of the other Vanderpump people have gone is night and day to anyone who's ever been on The Bachelor or Love is Blind or anything like that. Speaking of Love is Blind, I feel like they really did Chelsea wrong.

They left out a lot of context in that Megan Fox comment. Tell me more. Maybe that Jimmy told her that he looks like Christian McCaffrey, which definitely does not at fucking all. Well, actually, I would argue that Jimmy looks more like Christian McCaffrey than Chelsea looks like Megan Fox. I think she looks like Megan Fox. I stand by that. it's the cheekbones up like I see it interesting she also said Katy Perry and Adele which as Ali pointed out earlier I just feel like they look not the Katy Perry and Adele look nothing alike that would be like me being like oh list of like celebrity lookalikes um Judi Dench uh Barney, Selena Gomez.

Like, you're just naming celebrities at this point, Chelsea. Have you ever been told these people look like you? If I'm Christian, I'm upset. Why? Why would any celebrity be upset that less attractive people are often compared to them? I mean, as a celebrity, that's... That's, I feel like, a very underrated insult. For someone to be like, oh my gosh, no, my cousin looks just like you. It's so crazy.

Look at my cousin. And they show you this ugly fucking person and you're like, I feel that. This person looks like me? I get it. You know? If I had a nickel for every DM I've gotten where someone's been like, my boyfriend looks just like you or my friend looks just like you. And it's just a white guy with curly hair and facial hair. And yeah, there have been moments where I've been deeply offended. comes with the territory of being a public figure because we've you know in chelsea and and jimmy's defense everyone has been compared to a celebrity you know someone it's like it's a thing people do when you're either on a date or even among friends and yes there are liberties taken where it's just

like you know it's a way to compliment people maybe there's a feature you know like i don't doubt that someone actually told chelsea this you know what i'm saying for sure she's had people say this to her yeah you know You know, like I said, on reality recap, like I've been compared to celebrities, but it's another thing on love is blind, but also, yeah.

On love is blind, but also to say to a man, the like hottest, what like transformers, like that was probably his like childhood crush. Like he had like naked photos of her in his room, you know? Sex icon.

Sex icon. Icon. Yes. Icon. I also, just the way she delivered it too. She's like, I get this one,

but I don't really see it, but it's just because I have dark hair. MGK's blue eyes. And it's what? MGK's girlfriend or wife? You know damn well. It's a game of Jeopardy. He's like,

who is Megan Fox? I would have liked to seen, you know, if that's, if why? You know damn well. It's a game of Jeopardy. He's like, who is Megan Fox? I would have liked to seen, you know, if the Christian McCaffrey thing is true, like how it came up matters. Now, did she bring it up? And then she could have been like, have you been told that you look like anyone? And he's like, well, I've been told I look like Christian McCaffrey. Or did Jimmy bring up Christian McCaffrey in an effort to like, because I do think more men on the show are far more guilty of fishing and trying to be clever to talk about looks

when they're not even supposed to. And I think Chelsea's pretty. You just can't say who you're compared, who you look like on a show where you're not supposed to say it at all. And be like, people think I look like Reynolds, who, again, by many women's standards is one of the hottest. He literally been voted sexiest man in the world

alive alive or whatever and so if I'm going to put myself up against Ryan Reynolds I've lost the big reveal

is not going to be a good one she doesn't deserve any hate I mean she deserves a little like she deserves to be teased a little bit

she deserves to get you know be given a hard time but like everyone just needs to calm down for sure. I think Megan Fox needs to come out. I know. Where's Megan Fox,

babe? We're twins. Like she needs to save her from this. She needs Megan. Do you think Megan Fox would do something like that? Do you think Megan Fox has heard about this? Yes, she definitely has.

She's definitely heard about this. I don't know if she would. I don't know if she would. I don't know if she would, but she should. If you're listening, Meg, we know you are. Take a little advice, babe. I mean, on the topics of look, a lot of people think that Jimmy has been baiting this conversation of looks because one of the things that happened was Jess was saying,

you're going to be choking when you see what I actually looked like. He chooses Chelsea. So when Chelsea and him sit down at the resort he's like so like just brought up this conversation of looks and he was kind of baiting chelsea to react yes trying to see like was she actually hot like what it just actually looked like so like he's been this whole like pusher of like the looks conversation i would agree yeah i would agree okay so if you're saying that with the context that chelsea provided him bringing up christian mccaffrey uh and then kind of fishing for information on jess like i guess if if he was like yeah you know jess said like you're gonna choke

like i'm like because of the way she looks and chelsea was like yeah you are like she's fucking hot he would like what would he've done what what did he what did she say she just she said well you're gonna well she was like well you're gonna see her yeah she didn't really entertain the conversation she kind of shut it down she was just like you're gonna see you're gonna see her for yourself i'm not saying anything yeah i don't think chelsea would ever say anything because she was in competition with this girl to the point where in our in my opinion she had to compare herself to megan fox and you know so i don't i don't know oh you think she compared

herself to megan fox to like get ahead well i was saying on reality recap that i think chelsea got caught up in the competition of jess where her ego was like, you have a chance to beat this chick. You know? And so in the pods, her judgment was clouded, knowing that for the first time in her life, she was going to be chosen over someone like Jess.

So she gave him the bait. Yeah. A lot of people are also saying that that's why she chose Jimmy over Trevor, because people are saying she had a much better connection with Trevor, but she went with Jimmy because she was competing with someone like Jess. Once you're part of a competition and you have a chance to be chosen yeah um over someone else that you you know all these people

are living in these pods and you get to know and it's just like I want to be picked over you. I mean it's obvious that like nothing happens between Jess and um and Jimmy that uh that that the preview of of last week suggested uh clearly that was Chelsea just kind of going completely nuts and the accusations of like he had sex with her completely out of left field and totally based off of Chelsea's own insecurities uh I was not shocked to find out that nothing actually happened between Jess and Jimmy once they met. Again, I do feel like Jess kind of owes Jimmy a thank you at least, maybe not an apology, because if the roles were reversed, had Jimmy picked Jess, she would have to figure out how to swerve out of that relationship because there is zero chance she would have said yes at the altar to Jimmy solely based off the fact that he doesn't look like Christian McCaffrey.

Because it does. It's obvious that these women thought he was some hot jock like they they had a Christian McCaffrey type of person. He thinks he's a hot jock. He was the one on the beach with Chelsea being like, I'm so muscular, blah, blah, blah. And she was like, yeah, everyone's going to want to steal my man.

Well, she was feeding into it. You have confidence in cells, you know? Yikes. Yikes. But I do think that was a very interesting moment.

And I am glad that she cleared it up. Chelsea, we're on your side. It's a little silly. It's just silly. It's not that serious, guys. No one has to defend Megan Fox.

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this episode. Anyways, the new batch obviously came out yesterday. I know we talked a little bit about Jess and Jimmy, nothing happened, but we'll get into the nitty gritty on Tuesday of Reality Recap. Maybe it's time for a birth story.

Yeah. Yeah. Let's do it. I'm excited. How do you want to start it off, babe? I don't know. We were talking about this with my mom and she was like, I think you should start with the choice to conceive.

And I was like, um. Okay. So you want to talk about us fucking? Nick last night looks at River and he goes, it's crazy that we made you because one night we decided to have sex. It is kind of wild when you think of it that way. Natalie's mom was visiting the night she was conceived. Yeah.

Like, I do remember the night. I do, too. Does she know this? I think so. I think I might have mentioned in passing quickly. Are you a little uncomfy, Allie? No, it's just bringing me back to the episode where we had

Natalie on and we were talking about the pregnancy and he literally, it was a similar, I have a clip of it on my desktop and we were like, oh, where should we start maybe with hopes and dreams for the baby? And Nick goes, are we not going to talk about conceiving?

Like he has been so eager to talk about y'all boating for months. Well, let's talk about it, baby. That was good. Yeah. So good. We made a baby. I do want to say before we start a little disclaimer, this is our birth story.

We're here to share our story. We're not here to yuck anyone's yum. We're not here to give medical advice. We're here to just share our story, our experiences. If you find any of it useful, we appreciate that. If you find none of it useful, totally fine. We're not looking for medical feedback. We took the advice of our doctors, but we are sharing our experience.

And like I said, we're not giving medical advice at all. But if our experience in any way helps anyone else out there who is a currently pregnant or expecting or maybe wants to have a baby someday. Or if you just want to listen, laugh and cry. That's also great, too. Period. Period. I think what we can say about conceiving our child is that she was not an accident. She was not an oops. She was once we got engaged, it was like, you know what? We're engaged like, I mean, I'm pretty sure I can. I haven't received any information to suggest that I haven't.

But at the flip side, I haven't received any information to suggest that I could. And you hear a lot of stories about people struggling. But we were one of the blessed couples that we didn't have any issues in that department. But knowing that, some people do. My entire pregnancy, obviously we've talked about it a lot on this show. I had a terrible first trimester, was extremely sick, nonstop puking, very nauseous, food tasted moldy, chemically. I would like go to restaurants and be like, there's bleach in this. I really struggled. That actually happened once. She actually

told the waiter. They're like, ma'am, please. There might be, there's chemicals or bleach in her food. And I was like, I'm sorry. I don't, I'm pretty sure you guys. So it's that strong, like you tasted it. Yeah. Yeah. She just was very sensitive to food, became not fun for Natalie. Not fun.

So my entire first trimester, I was like, Nick, I will never, ever do this again. Like this will be your one child unless we go surrogacy because I will never go through this. It was that bad. Second trimester, blissful, beautiful. I loved it. It was amazing. Third trimester, very just large and uncomfortable.

And I started getting a lot of fluid. So my fluid was pretty high. And that was kind of something that they kept watching as I got further along. And then she was breached. So she was head up at like 36, 37 weeks. And so they scheduled me to manually get turned. So for a breach version is what they call it. And I was like, OK, I'm going to see my doctor that morning.

I'll get an ultrasound and then at noon i'll go get this breach version in the hospital and for those of you don't know what what happens what do they do uh for a breach version they like man you they like push on your stomach and manually try to turn the baby and it's apparently very uncomfortable i did not have to do it because that morning we go in to see my doctor and Miss River is head down. So she had heard the torture that she would be put through. And she was like, you know what? I'll just do it on my own.

I'll just go head down. It's fine. Don't worry about it. But I had so much fluid and she turned so late that I think it was definitely scary for us to be like, let's just, you know, wait for 40 weeks because she could turn back and then it's harder to do this breech version when the baby's bigger. A big concern for you was you wanted to do everything you could to prevent you from having to have a C-section. If that was controllable, you wanted to try to control that, right? Correct. Yeah. So if she did turn back breech and they couldn't turn her i would have

to have a c-section and i did not want to do that but so with the help of nick and myself and my doctor we all decided that an induction was the best route and so i got induced at 38 weeks and five days and more so it was 38 and five because she was like well what what date do you want and i was like i want her birthday to be 2 4 24 24 24 how iconic is that and she's like well that's on a sunday so we actually can't schedule a sunday induction we went in thursday before on the first yeah and we were informed that an induction typically, give or take, takes around 24 hours from the time

that you arrive at the hospital to when the baby is born. You know, that was the estimate that they gave us. Kind of just setting

expectations of what we could expect. Yeah. So Thursday night we have us, Nick cooks an amazing meal. We have steak

and potatoes and vegetables and him and my mom like finish a bottle of wine. So it was a night I don't normally drink. And what happened was is like, you know, we have our wine rack, which is usually full and really just more of an aesthetic for the house. It's kind of it's like an art piece. Which is why when I normally buy wine, I buy it for the labels. And as often happens, we receive gifts or when people came to the house and bring a bottle of wine or whatever. I'm always like, thank you. Put it on the rack. Don't pay much attention to it.

Crack open the bottle of wine. Drink it. Whatever. Natalie's mom, not like myself, likes a thing that she likes to do is to Google the one that she's about to drink. You know, do a little research. Find out what the aromas are. The vintage, the year. Turns out the bottle that I grabbed that was sitting there that, quite frankly, I wasn't a fan of the label.

You know, so I didn't drink it all that much. Turns out it was like a $200 bottle of wine. And we're like, oh, shit, this is like a fancy bottle of wine. Do we remember what it was? Brilliant Mistakes. Brilliant Mistake. Yeah. Which like great bottle of wine to drink on the night we go.

And to get induced. So we're like, well, I normally, when I crack open a bottle of wine, we'll like have a half a glass and we waste more alcohol typically than we drink. But not a $200. But my mom was like, we got to finish this. We got to drink this. So quite honestly, I wasn't remotely drunk, but I had a little tipsy before we left, but we were celebrating, you know, expecting the birth of our child.

So we get to the hospital. My induction time was 10 p.m. on Thursday, the first. And we get to the hospital. We check in. We get put into our room. I'm told to put on the gown and they hook me up to everything. And then the question of like epidural, not epidural, like what are what are you thinking? And listen, I believe in modern medicine. I trust what my doctor says. So so i was like fuck yeah give me that epidural so i was like well how do i know when to ask for this epidural like i don't you know like do i do i need it now do i need i don't feel anything right now but how soon does it happen and the

girl was like well soon the nurse was like as soon as you start feeling something maybe ask for it because it'll take it was more the way she described it was like if you as you start feeling something, maybe ask for it because it'll take a minute to get to you. The way she described it was like, when you start experiencing pain that you no longer want to feel, ask for it right away. Because it takes some time to set in and minister and things like that. Which was still in itself kind of a vague description for when we should ask for it. And we didn't receive any other information in terms of how it was administered, how long it lasts, et cetera, et cetera. I had a friend of mine who had given birth a couple of weeks prior and I was like, any advice? And she was like, ask for the epidural ASAP. And so I'm like, fuck, okay.

So as soon as I was like, let me just feel, I'll trust what this nurse says. As soon as I start feeling pain, I don't want to feel anymore. So, of course, my contractions are zero to 100. So this is Thursday. On the Tuesday before we went to go to my doctor, she checked my cervix. And apparently I've never had this, but that's where they put an IUD is in your cervix. And her checking my cervix was the most painful thing I have ever felt in my life. And my friend Chambliss was like, that's where they put an IUD. Like, that's what I feel every time I get

my IUD changed. And I was like, you need to be put under anesthesia for that. Like, that was so painful. So honestly, having that done on Tuesday and feeling that amount of pain terrified me for Thursday because I was like, if this is just you checking my cervix and that's so painful, like what is Thursday going to be like? So my doctor explained to me that an induction, the way that she was going to do it was insert a Foley balloon catheter. So it's like a long, like rubbery straw that has a balloon on it. like rubbery straw that has a balloon on it. They stick it inside of your cervix and they blow up the balloon and it's supposed to dilate your cervix to like three, four centimeters.

Yeah. It's like a jumpstart, the dilating process. Yeah. So it like tells your body like we're ready to go. As she's putting in this Foley balloon, my water breaks. Whoa.

Yeah. Which we felt like it was a good sign, you know, like that was like nature way of saying, you know what? We're ready. We're ready. The midwife who was putting in the balloon was like, in my 10 years, this has never happened. Like I've never seen someone's water break as I'm putting in this. And we're like, never happened good or never happened bad. Yeah. Like, should we? She's like, no, this is great. Your body's like ready to go. So that was extremely painful to have this Foley balloon put inside me. But once it's inside, everything's good.

Now what I learned is that when your water breaks, it's no longer sterile. So like that is what's keeping everything in your body sterile. And once that water breaks and every time they check your cervix to see how dilated you are, you are at a risk for infection because they are like putting in bacteria like things. They're introducing new things into your cervix. We didn't really know at the time, you know, that's not like they didn't really explain that in that moment. But they did start checking her temperature like every hour on the hour and they were very reluctant they did not want to keep checking her cervix you know they they wanted to wait which they only check it every four to six hours yeah i was one centimeter on tuesday when my doctor checked in her office and my cervix was soft so she's like these are all

great signs then when we get to the the hospital, I'm still one centimeter. They put the Foley balloon in. They take it out four hours later, four or five hours later. And I'm at four centimeters. So it had done exactly what they said it would do. So while the balloon, it was in there. That's when you started experiencing some pretty uncomfortable feelings well contractions yeah which i kind part of me like wanted to feel the

contractions just to know what it was i had felt braxton hicks contractions like kind of the two weeks before um but these are very intense and for those of you for those people who don't know what Braxton Hicks contractions are? It's like fake contractions. Like you're not actually giving a baby. It's just your body's like practicing. It's like giving your body a heads up of what childbirth might be like. Yeah. So I'm like, I need the epidural immediately.

I stand up. Nick starts like swaying my hips. They put a heat back on my back. We're trying to like alleviate this. Of course, as soon as I asked for the epidural, the anesthesiologist has like. It's backed up. Yeah. Like three other moms.

Three other moms. Just asked. That's what always happens. Yeah. What time is it right now? One in the morning. You said four hours from 10 in the morning. Two in the morning.

So I want to talk about epidural for a second. And again, we're not here to yuck anyone's yum. We're not giving medical advice, but this experience for the epidural, like what we experienced versus like what we thought an epidural was like, I was surprised just how little information they talk to you about the epidural process. Even like, I kind of expected like, that would be something our doctor would have, I mean, other than our doctor being like, hey, do you plan on using an epidural or not?

Now they'd be like, fuck yeah. And then it was like, cool, you know? And our doctor also mentioned that just on her end, she feels like she has more control during childbirth with someone who is on an epidural. Well, I had a big fear of tearing. And my doctor was like, well, when who is on an epidural? Well, I had a big fear of tearing and my doctor was like, well, when you're on an epidural, it's a lot more controlled. And so it's not like this like kind of insane. She, she can control it, I guess, better. Yeah. That's, that's how she, but she, no one really talked to Natalie or us about like what it's like to get an epidural, the process. Like keep in mind, the only thing we've ever heard, you know, you always hear like these horror stories and it's always like the same thing. It's just like they pull out this giant fucking needle. Like they just like it's just like a sword that's going to go into your back. That's all I've ever heard about an epidural is a giant fucking needle and how painful it is, like something to

truly be afraid of. You know, if you have a fear of needles, obviously, which a lot of people do, it was just like something that Natalie, even in myself for Natalie's sake was like, okay, well, you know, get the epidural, but like, fuck man, this is going to be something. It was nothing like that. Not to mention part of the reason why Natalie was like, well, do I ask for it now? Do I ask for it later? We're thinking, well, they just told us this thing's gonna might be 24 hours and like while nally was a little uncomfortable in that moment like she's just like well i just want to make sure that this epidural is like popping when i'm giving childbirth but like no one talked to us about like anything about the process so once natalie asked for it, this very lovely anesthesiologist comes in

and, you know, talks us through it. He asked if I'm afraid of needles. He mentions that a lot of fathers have passed out. I'm like, no, I'm good. But I mean, describe it. I don't want to describe it for you. I mean, putting the IV into my arm was more painful than this needle going into my spine.

Yeah, so like nally sits up on the hospital bed the anesthesiologist is behind her so now he doesn't even see this needle and the needle honestly like i mean it was bigger than like a shot that say a diabetic might give themselves or you know a vaccine again in my in my mind i had this vision of this like fucking giant fucking needle. And maybe that's what it was like back in the day. I don't know. And so it's not that big of a needle.

They numbed her back, which, again, Natalie said was more painful than the actual application of the epidural itself. But it's almost like tapping into the matrix. They put in the needle and it just stays in there. And then it's hooked up to this machine that has like a remote control on it. And they're like, Hey, listen, they tell Natalie this,

you can hit it as much as you can. You can't OD like the machine is set up that, you know, it's, it's basically designed so that like the person who's receiving the epidural, whenever they're receiving pain, they can hit as much as they want so that it's giving the maximum, the maximum benefit that's safe.

Wow. But the machine won't let them OD. So you're administering your own epidural. Yeah, she's administering her own epidural as long as it's not going above any type of maximum, which is considering all the variables that one might need to consider. It's also not like the needle that's in your back that stays in your back is like malleable you don't have the hard needle like sticking in your back the whole time you don't even feel it no you don't feel it and then you're able to lay back down you're able to lay back down and then yeah as soon as you start feeling anything like i would maybe start to feel like a little bit more in my legs and maybe i did 10 minutes earlier and i'd press it again so i'd be like oh i don't want to i don't want to feel anything but i was so like maybe alarm is the wrong word

but like surprised just by how minimally innovative it again this was our experience it was nally's experience it was and had we known what we know now her friend who was like as soon as you can ask for it, that's the recommendation we would give to anyone listening. If you plan on getting an epidural, just be like, as soon as I'm allowed to get it, just tap me into the matrix. Because from there on, you can again administer. And then Natalie, Natalie was pretty conservative with it. At first, she really wasn't hitting it that much. She wasn't, that was just a choice that Natalie made, but like she had total control. She never got to the point where it was like, oh fuck, I'm it's worn off or

anything like that. It was like, she was like locked in, ready to go the rest of the way. And it was such a like pretty chill experience. And the fear that natalie even i felt like leading up to being induced over simply just because no one explained it to us i was just shocked that no one's like hey i don't know if you what you know about epidurals but it's a lot different these days i'm assuming it's different you know because again maybe that's how it was like in the 80s they pull out this big fucking sword and like well yeah someone's back you've also just heard horror stories of like oh like my right leg i felt stuff in like the right side of my body and like the epidural you know wore off or yeah like it and i honestly was so scared of the epidural i think because yeah it sounds so scary and i don't have a high pain tolerance i have a couple

tattoos but like it's definitely different, I think. And when I tell you them putting the IV into my wrist hurt more than this epidural, I mean that. Like it was nothing. And do you have like baby veins or do you have like the normal ones? I don't have good veins at all. They definitely had to search for a minute. And putting the IV on your wrist hurts a lot more than like in your elbow. Yeah.

So just think. So now she's tapped into the matrix. I'm tapped into the matrix. And that took about 20 minutes, I'd say, for you to like feel better. So we are in the middle of the night, Thursday night, and they come in to check me again, still at four centimeters.'re like it's okay it's normal like your body is just how many centimeters do you need to get to 10 10 okay so the balloon gets you to four pretty quick then you kind of get all excited and then she's stuck

at four and you're not considered in active labor until six centimeters okay okay yeah so we're really just like chilling I I'm kind of sleeping. Nick's trying to sleep. And then they come, I mean, there's no sleeping in the hospital. They come and bother you every, you know, 30 minutes, but they checked me probably three times throughout every six hours, four to six hours. And every time they checked me, I was at four centimeters. And it was this very like draining feeling because you're so exhausted. You feel like you've been there for so long and you feel like from four to ten, you've got a long fucking way to go. And so they'd come in and they'd be like, they'd check you and they'd be like, OK, well, we are still at four.

So we are just going to, you know, we won't check you for another six hours. And you're just like, oh, so they say as soon as you start to't check you for another six hours and you're just like oh my god so they say as soon as you start to feel unless you start to feel rectal pressure like you are going to shit yourself let us know but other than that we won't check you so we get to friday morning nick's like i'm gonna go pick up your mom pick you up some breakfast they did like assured me that she wasn't gonna be going into labor for the next two hours. Yeah. And they let you eat whatever you want while you're there?

No, the sweet nurse, who I will not say her name, they don't want you to eat because obviously of the like, oh, if we need to give you a C-section, you can't have anything in your stomach. But she was like, if you want to have a couple bites of something, I did not say anything and I am not here. So I and I honestly wasn't even like hungry at that point. I just wanted to have my baby. And it's more like a lawsuit thing, you know, because like on the very outside chance she had, you know, if she were had to have a C-section, again, not a medical professional, but something to do with higher risk of complication. But as she, this nurse described,

she's like, people get put under all the time that get flown in, you know, flight for life in a car accident. And they just like, you know, leaving a heavy steak dinner. Right. And so the chances are so low. But the hospital is saying, well, we're not going to give you food because if something were to happen, the patient could say, well, you fed me. They're liable. They're liable. You know, so she was like, I'm not here, but like, you're probably good. So us being snobby eaters, I went out and got food for every meal. Like we didn't eat hospital food.

So you weren't allowed to eat from like but when they induced you until technically once you get to the hospital yeah they say they're not a long time yeah yeah 24 hours and you're you can have like um i ate a lot of jello and um italian ice which they have really good italian ice that's the crunchy ice right yeah yeah it's like prepping for a colonoscopy uh yeah and so nick left he went and got my mom and you know i again i'm just like sleeping and then they both come back it's like eight in the morning on friday still at four centimeters i mean we go the whole day of them just checking me i'm at to the point where i'm like mom nick like please go for a walk. Please get out of this room.

We've just been sitting here staring at each other. You've got to get out of here. And then they're checking my temperature. And I have a 103.2 temperature. I have gotten an infection from them checking my cervix. So everything that they said they were worried about happened. But they did also say this is still kind of normal. Like it's not.

They kind of expected this with her water breaking. They were very good to like make sure we didn't panic even when things like a fever, you know, happened. So I don't know about you, but I still felt like we were in good hands. Yeah, I was never worried the whole time. Were you feeling sick? Like, did you feel like you had? I definitely had a headache. I felt like, yeah. But so they are pumping me now with I had the Pitocin for the induction and the contractions, antibiotics and the epidural. And then just like a normal saline drip. And they're worried, obviously, that River will get this infection.

They were monitoring River's vitals as well. So like they always knew like how her heartbeat was. I will say like as soon as we got to the hospital and like, I mean, tear it up now. But like when they when they got in there and and they like, I don't know, they did whatever they did to hook you up to all the vitals like the bands around your stomach and then they you could hear river's heartbeat like i just started sobbing you know because it just felt like she was that much closer to us you know so that was that was pretty intense at what point was it before we found out

um you had an infection i feel like it was before because they did an ultrasound and she wasn't breech. She was still head down, but she was flipped the wrong way. So she was head up instead of head down. And head down apparently is preferred. She was head down, but face up. That's what I mean. So she has to come out with her head down. Oh, she was twisted.

Yeah. So she was looking at the inside of my stomach instead of like down at the ground got it and that's how they want her to come out so we had to do what they call swinging baby positions this we like a gender on tiktok first of all we gave we gave birth at cedar sinai and like this i don't know if anyone's considering about giving birth and i was born but like cedars, they, the way that they do things was so amazing. I didn't even have to have a birth plan because they just like checked every box.

But yeah, so they were like, this is a trend on TikTok. I don't know if you've seen it. Shout out to this nurse. Her name was Emily and she was amazing. And she was with me the whole night. It's really, I will say it's really sad. Like I get they, they they gotta go home. Right. But like when you get a new nurse in the morning and you've just been with someone all night, it's like the saddest thing because. You build a rapport. Yeah. Me and, and me and this nurse,

Emily, we had built this rapport. She was with me all day. And then at 7 PM she went home and this new nurse came in and I was, she was like, well, like she told the new nurse that came in. She's like, text me and let me know what happens. And I was like, please keep her in the loop. Like she had just been with me for so long. And she's the one who put me in these swinging baby positions. And basically it was like I had this big peanut ball between my knees and I was laying in the bed and I'd like have one leg back here, one leg up here. They were doing everything they could to open up my pelvis and get her to turn face down.

I also my mom is in the room. And so I don't need to be like all exposed. You know, I'm also like I wanted a little bit of privacy. Yeah. So I brought my own blanket. I really just wanted them to always cover me when I was moving or whatever. I will say I'd been with Emily, the nurse, all day. And the new nurse comes in and she just takes off my sheet.

And I'm like, no! And Emily was like, she would like to stay covered. The new nurse was like, okay. So it was a little different personalities with different nurses but there was always a nurse and a midwife on staff

yeah that came to check on you so they put me in these swinging baby positions and I'm in those for what felt like all day

truly felt like all day I have this infection they're constantly checking me and then they're they put in this thing But felt like 830. And the midwife comes in and we've heard 900 times that I'm at four centimeters. So we were very, you know, over it at this point. And she checks me. You went from four to five and a half. So you went from four to five and a half. And there was like a high five moment because there was progress. Again, like for 12 hours four centimeters four centimeters four centimeters and again our doctor was like

hey give or take it could be 24 hours uh but sometimes it could be longer and you know we went from getting to the hospital and her water immediately breaking to be like oh shit maybe maybe it's gonna be like an eight hour thing hell yeah you know and then all of a sudden you know 12 hours later after four centimeters centimeters, we're like, it's, we're coming up on like hour 16, hour 17. And it's like, oh fuck, she's still at four centimeters. And, you know, fatigue started to set in. It was like, oh shit, how long is this going to happen?

It's just the marathon that it is. It's just, it gets to be a bit much. So she's five and a half now. We're pretty excited about that. But again, we're just like, we don't want to keep checking. So at that point, it's very much like a guessing game. So around 845.9, River's heartbeat started fluctuating a little bit. There were moments where it would slow down.

And then when it slows down, they get a little nervous about just River's positioning. There were a couple times where they were doing these swinging baby exercises. In different positions, River would respond to it. So I think when you were on your left side, her heart rate would slow down. So they would switch you to the right side. And then the midwife came back in. She had checked her not too long ago it's five and a half but like rivers heart rate was fluctuating and you could tell again they were

just she was like i don't know if i want to check you again i just checked you an hour earlier and then she's like you know what fuck it like i i want to check you because i'm just a little nervous and then sorry um and then yeah they go ahead oh it's funny uh not funny but like this hits you um yeah they they checked her and they look at natalie and they're like they're like you're ready to have a baby and like nanny and i just look at each other and start bawling because it just hits you you're like holy shit it's now it's happening you know it's like i'm at 10 centimeters and she's like you're at 10 centimeters and we all like me nick my mom we all just started sobbing it had been so like emotional it'd been such a long day and like to finally hear that she was ready was it was a lot it was a lot yeah um so like i'm pacing going back and forth and like

you know now he wants to film some of it but it's just like her mom was god bless her like did a great job you know her mom's not a social media influencer uh but she was there with her camera we had another camera set up i was like i don't want to block it and then they were like all right let's do certain what they were called practice pushes which I don't know, for me, it seemed like just regular pushes. It was with the midwife at first and my first nurse, the first. Maybe you do like rounds of three and each of them are 10 seconds long. Before I started pushing, I remember they told me, like, if you start to get rectal pressure, that means like obviously her head is just like pushing further and further down. That's a good sign.

She's your body's getting more and more ready. And they were I was like, is this going to be because I felt them with my contractions and they're like, no, you will feel it like nonstop. And sure enough, felt of nonstop. And I was like, holy shit, this is literally very, very painful. And the epidural was not covering it. So they called the anesthesiologist back in and they didn't have to repoke me or anything. They just insert more epidural, I guess, a higher dosage into my back. And then that was knocked out. But I did feel the rectal pressure that they were talking about. And that is no fucking joke. And by that, like, And that is no fucking joke. And by that like second round of pushing, the midwife was like, oh, I see hair. So I was like, how close are we to having a baby? Like, how how do you already see hair? Also, that explains all the heartburn. It all makes sense now. And so I did a couple with the midwife. The midwife left. I did some more practice pushes, which were obviously real pushes with the nurse. And that got me to river crowning.

So her head was there. Well, at this point, you know, I will say, like, I felt in good hands. Like, I felt like we were in good hands with the nurse and the midwife. Not yet. You know, and it's definitely touch and go. And in defense to Cedars and our doctor, again, she went from five and a half to 10 like this. And they were like, they didn't want to check her that quickly, again, because of risk of infection. So it's like, it's very much like a guessing game to, you know. When does a doctor usually come?

Like at how many centimeters? I think if they would have checked her, I'm guessing. I don't know for sure. Like eight or, you know. Well, six is active labor. So I hadn't even reached that yet. And so we had seen my doctor. She had, she was delivering other babies.

So she had popped in a couple of times. She was like, you're doing great. Like just, you know, this is kind of the part of it. I'll see you later. And I don't think she lives too far. But yes, Natalie was never in active labor until she started, to our knowledge, until she started pushing. Wow.

So at that point when, you know, they're like, oh, by the way, you're at 10. That's when they called the doc. Wow. So we're doing these practice pushes. The nurse has her crowning. So her head is there. And they're like, OK, we're just waiting on your doctor. And I'm like, where is she?

Before that, at some point, I was like, again, I felt like we were in good hands. You know, we had a midwife. We had a nurse. They clearly knew what they were doing. You know, we're at a hospital. I feel good. But just all like principle alone. I was like, is the doctor going to show up?

They're like, oh, yeah, she's like on her way, you know. And but yeah, there was a moment where they like waited is the doctor gonna show up they're like oh yeah she's like on her way you know and uh but yeah they there was a moment where they like waited for the doctor even though like rivers she sat crowning for like three five minutes and my doctor comes in obviously like running she's like oh my like she looks at her head and she's like, oh, my God, I drove so fast. Like, I tried to get here so fast. But like you, I pushed her to crowning in less than 30 minutes. Wow. Yeah. So then my doctor scrubs in.

And I push three times with her and. Out she came. Out she came. She came out with the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck several times, which I did not see until my mom showed us the footage that my mom took. And they pulled her out and you just see her kind of like unwrapping the cord. Very calmly, you know, like no big deal. Thank God Natalie, prior to us going in to the hospital, showed me this TikTok trend of how some babies come out looking. They're all in that sound good googly moogly

that thing is juicy. Because, you know, it's a wild ride from the womb to the world. To the world. And they're malleable too, right? They're malleable.

The heads are very soft. You know, that's why some babies come out with kind of a cone head a little bit, you know. But you can get like a hematoma or whatever, like bruises.

I mean, our therapist, our therapist darlene kind of afterwards referenced like yeah she she came out with a lot of like almost like scars or bruises again like it's as if like a you know shrapnel is kind of a normal thing that a baby it's a it's a very physical intense process for the baby, it seems like. But River came out. She had a bit of a bump on her head. But thank God Natalie prepped me for that because I knew what that was. Had I not, I would have been probably freaking out. I'd be like, what the fuck's going on? But that went away.

I mean, I honestly didn't even notice going away. It was gone in minutes, it seemed like. Even with all the TikTokiktoks and the friends that you have who've given birth was there anything that surprised you guys the epidural aspect was my biggest like man i wish we would have known i wish someone would have walked us through what it was like to get an epidural because natalie and i both spent a decent amount of time worrying about it uh stressing about it, specifically Natalie, not sharing what it was, how, when should she ask for it? You know, like, and then now he's like, do I ask for it now? Should I ask for it later? Should we wait? And knowing what we know now,

like it would have been nice being more informed about that process. I don't know about you. I mean, mine is probably just like, once I started the pushing process, like it was truly a breeze. Like I would deliver a baby a hundred times over. It's really like the pregnancy, the nine months that was harder on me. But the delivery itself, I mean, I obviously think like we really had an amazing doctor. I was terrified to tear. I don't know why that was like such a fear of mine, but I just had friends who had like third degree tears and they had to do physical therapy for like their just pelvic floor,

like all of this stuff. And I was really scared of that. And I told my doctor I was scared of that. And she prioritized like massaging my perineum as the baby's coming out. So she was like helping me. I think really just having a doctor that cares about your body as much as they would care about their own is really important. And our doctor made that clear that that was a priority for her,

which it's not always the case. The experience overall at Cedars was wonderful. To Natalie's point, every nurse is different. Every midwife is different. Some, you know, there's more of a personal touch. Some it's more like I'm a professional. And all of them felt like we were in good hands. But to some have that more personal touch than others. And so it's a different experience. had a 60 second delayed cord clamping. So I didn't even have to ask for that. They were kind of like, do you want this or do you want us to immediately cut it? And then they have an hour of skin to skin as soon as the baby's born. Oh, by the way, when the doc came, she was like, do you want to help deliver? And we had already talked about that. Like Natalie wanted me by her side. I don't think Natalie really wanted to have a front row seat anyways. And I was in agreement with that. And

so I was like, no, I'm just going to stay by Natalie. But I really appreciated her asking me, you know, like she really like our doctor asking me that question. Weirdly, just made me feel once again, like we were in good hands. It's like a pilot inviting you into the cockpit. It's like, all right, well, I guess we're safe because if you can let me in here, then everything's under control. Right. You're letting me see behind.

Yeah. I felt it gave me an added sense of security, but I declined. I wanted to see River the first time Natalie saw River. He did cut the umbilical cord. Oh, you did cut it?

He did cut the umbilical cord. Nick, what was it like seeing her for the first time? It was crazy. I honestly was like wow she's really good looking because i was like i didn't really know what to expect but she came out skin to skin right away with natalie i kind of stuck my hand my finger and she grabbed it and then after i cut the umbilical cord they wanted they had to clean her up and they had

to get some fluids out of her you know chest like that. So they took her from Natalie for just a few minutes. And I was by Natalie's side. And then River started crying. I can't talk about it with Alzheimer's. And then I went over by River. And then I started just kissing her. And she stopped crying. She recognized his voice.

I don't know, but she stopped crying. She did. My mom's videotaping this, and they're shaking her and sticking things down her nose, and she is screaming, crying. And Nick comes over, and he puts his head on her head, and he starts kissing her, and he's talking to her. And she just stops and turns her head towards him. And they say, obviously, we talked to her the entire pregnancy. We read to her and she just stops and like turns her head towards him and they say like obviously we talked to her the entire pregnancy and they say we read to her like most nights babies know that voice and she definitely recognized his voice um there was a moment

before that where they brought river up to natalie and for what felt like eternity but in reality was maybe like two seconds like river rivers quiet like i was like screamed cry make a noise because you're you i quickly instinctually like realize she hasn't like made a noise yet and that that kind of gasp of air or you know that babies make or fluids was like that was like it was a split second but it was a bit nerve-wracking and then she like you know screamed and i felt much safer i-wracking and then she like you know screamed and i felt much safer i got so nervous and then i was afraid that there would be like weird comments of why she wasn't screaming so i took her screams from another video oh when you edit that video

into that one because i was worried yeah yeah it was scary yeah it's uh it was literally like a split second but it's long enough to be like, hey, say something. A little nerve wracking. Natalie, did you feel like a feeling of relief after it was over and she was put into your arm? I think the, what is it they say? The oxytocin that you release,

it's so real. And my friend Paige, she's been on the show friend of show Paige Peck she was like this sounds so corny but like the second that you see her hold her hear her like that love that she was like it's just something that you cannot describe and like you will be so in love with this baby and it was so like the second she was laid on my chest, it was like, it's, it's hard to explain because I like, I obviously spent nine months growing her and then to have her in my arms was like, I don't, I can't even explain it. I don't even, but also you're on, like I was on so many drugs that I couldn't really, I didn't care about anything else.

I mean, my doctor is, you know, finishing up down there and I just have like no care in the world. And from my perspective, it was like, not that I ever doubted it, but like it was really something to see Natalie be a mom. You know, it's ridiculous. It's not, It's so sweet. But like just seeing her like with River and being a mom was just like, it was awesome. Like it was really cool to see just, you know, how much she gravitated towards instinctually being a mom to River. Yeah. They say is for anyone who's like scared or like, I don't know what I'm doing.

The second that baby is laid on your chest you instinctually just know you just know like what they need what like this means she was crying

I think and the nurse was like oh it's like I just knew why like I knew what she needed and it was like I feel like instinctually it was just

easy I don't know I gave our doctor a high five afterwards yeah we did it she uh she did have jaundice she still might have a little bit of jaundice but so she we had to stay in the hospital two nights obviously two nights after and she had to sleep in like an incubator with blue lights on her naked with like a eye mask on which was extremely hard for me

but I mean other than that she pretty much she passed all her tests she I think something that's really hard about all of it is I'm obviously healing from a wound in my uterus the size of a dinner plate and they are taking you know river gets her first bath and she they have to take her to do all these tests and i would love to join but obviously like i sent nick because you just you have to recover you have to like and i think the biggest thing that you need to recover is sleep and rest and that's like the one thing you don't get and so it was really hard for me to like miss that bath or miss like the hearing test or you know all the other i don't even know what other stuff she did because it was like i couldn't get up just the hearing test in the bath go down there but you know now i had to miss those moments

but other than that like you know i remember my you know i have a had to miss those moments. But other than that, like, you know, I remember my mom, you know, I have a lot of siblings, so I'm old enough. I was old enough to, you know, remember my mom having many of my siblings. And there was always like the nursery where they would take the baby away from, you know, my mom and my dad, you know, and then they'd bring into feed or might bring my siblings in to feed and things like that river never left our side you know she was in her own like little bassinet next to the hospital bed and then i pulled the rocking chair next to the bed for half the night we slept in the hospital bed together um i thought i would be fine not crying. I felt like, oh, if I do this right away, if I wait a couple of weeks, but no. Anyways, taking her home was really great. Did I change her first diaper at the hospital?

Maybe. I don't really remember. I feel like that's the sad part about all of this is that I'm just in such a haze after you give birth that i really don't remember a lot of like what happened i just remember it being very instinctual i had i had not changed a diaper since i was maybe nine years old i had changed a couple of my siblings diapers and then i had enough of siblings around where i was like i don't need to do this anymore and i literally had never changed a diaper since until i changed my daughters but it definitely

is like riding a bike. You know how people say like knowing like your own farts don't smell bad to you? Well, that's true. And then also your babies. Like there's just everything about her smells so good. Like smelling her is like a hit of like drugs. You know, it gives you a high. I keep saying this girl has never brushed her teeth she

spits up all the time and get her breath smells stunning oh good like changing her diaper is one of my favorite things it's like a little quality time with uh dad you know everything about taking care of her is like the greatest thing in the world and yeah natalie's been breastfeeding and pumping and i typically I'll take the first shift. We'll go to bed around nine or 10 and then she'll wake up around one-ish. And then I'll heat up the bottles and I'll take the first shift, feed her, burp her, do her leg exercises, get her to fart or poop, and then change her, swaddle her, bring her back to bed. And then Natalie will usually take the uh the second shift and then

it's been very nice having her mom her mom's been with her mom got a one-way ticket she's been with us since a couple days before we went in uh and had her induced and she's been staying with us she also recently uh got out of a a relationship that no longer served her and i've been trying to get her to date again and now he's mom and now. And Natalie's mom, for those of you who don't know, is a very stunning, beautiful lady. No surprise. She's the mother of Natalie. And, you know, I wanted her to get back out there, get on the dating apps. I DM'd the founder of the league.

Oh, wow. And I was like, because she, I, Natalie got her to sign up on the league. Now, I don't know if this is something that the league does. For those of you who don't know, the league is like like it's like Raya, except for like business professionals. The reason I felt more comfortable with it, because from to my knowledge, the league and Raya are the only dating apps that you have to verify who you are. You know, you can't just be somebody. You have to get accepted. You have to get accepted.

Yeah, it's a bit prestigious and stuffy, but it was more like you actually have to you have to verify who you are you can't just you you know other apps you can catfish you know things like that anyways i dm'd them they didn't actually respond to me but when she signed up uh she was like a hundred thousand a hundred thousand people were in front of her uh i dm'd her no response from the the founder but the next day she was approved and on the app so if that person did something thank you if not either way it might have been something that they just do you know how like at a club they make you wait in line and then you walk in the club's kind of empty they just want to show you how prestigious so that that could have been it as well uh but she's been back on that she's

been on the dating apps a little bit and And she's doing FaceTime dates now. Oh, good. Exciting. Yeah. So babysitter by day and dater by night. Is the baby in the FaceTimes with her? No. My mom takes her at 6 a.m.

And that's been really helpful. And we sleep till 8, 9, 10 sometimes on the weekends. sleep till eight nine ten sometimes on the weekends nick is very like i he looks so peaceful over there but the second i'm like hey nick he's like yes baby how can i help you oh yes my love he like jumps up and he's like what can i do um and he typically will go out and make the bottles and i'll stay with her and then we'll go into her nursery and take care of her. And sometimes I her her second shift is around like four or five. So if it's five, I'll stay in there for an hour and just like rocker and my mom will come in at six and I'll go back to bed and crash for a few hours.

But so we haven't we've been I think the survival mode of the first two weeks hasn't been as bad as what some people um experience with no help so i feel definitely very blessed it's been very nice to have nelly's mom the help is certainly appreciated a lot of um la moms very much encouraged us to get a night nurse which we thought about and then i talked to my sister um who i've talked about on this show she um struggled with ivf had one baby and has struggled since she tried to adopt they told her she was too old to adopt oh my god so she's just really struggled she has this one beautiful daughter and who actually river is named after and she was like natalie you will hear that baby cry your nipples will start tweaking this nurse will bring

the baby in to feed and then take her away and like what you just fall back asleep like there's just no way that you're gonna let a stranger hold your baby they're only this small for so long what she said is they're only that small for that day yeah yeah which is so true and i don't i can't speak for any other father out there but like i just can't like i don't care how tired i am at 1 30 in the morning but it's the best fucking time of my life to like feeder and you know i play like i've been playing like uh classical music on my phone you know feeder and just play like moz Bach or Beethoven because that, you know,

we're just trying to get those, those brain muscles going. She's going to be smart. Yeah. We'll see. Or not. It's either way. It's a delightful vibe.

Well, Nick, you mentioned this earlier in the hospital when you saw the shift in Natalie become a mom, what's been the best part about seeing each other become parents has your love for each other grown oh my god natalie looks like sexy in a different way you know even when she's like breastfeeding like i didn't to be totally honest like i didn't know what to expect or think or feel uh once i saw my daughter sucking on nally's boob you know what i'm saying like i just i was like

that before river was bored i'm thinking that's going to be different you know but there is something stimulating in a weird like like that's hot you know like just nally being a mom to my daughter is sexy i don't know how else to describe it you know um and it's just been like just seeing her be a mom has just been like a really huge turn on like i'm not i'm not mean i don't mean that like some sort of like creepy way you know um there's like an admiration to it right yeah it's just like hot you know it's a it's a very attractive thing have you tried the breast milk no i will not unnecessary i'm not like and then like a doctor was like so you want to eat the placenta i'm like no and she's like yeah well i just wanted to ask but people do that no i know

yeah not recommended by the cdc so you don't still have your placenta no no it is it was discarded okay afterwards yeah we did donate her cord blood yeah but my i her doctor did say there is uh no scientific benefit benefit to eating your placenta again we're not here to yuck anyone's yum if you if yeah put it in those capsules and take it away but yeah there was one point where i was asking a nurse i'm like so why would someone like not get an epidural and again i'm not here to give medical advice or yuck anyone's yum but the nurse goes i don't know truly i don't know either uh but i laughed yeah just to know yeah i mean my mom didn't with all of us, all four of us. I don't think my mom either. She said it was, I think, more so because she didn't know if they could afford it. But she was like watching you.

She was like, I wish I would have done it. It looked like such a breeze. Natalie, what's been the best part about seeing Nick become a dad? I didn't think I could love him anymore. You know, I thought like, this is peak love for sure. But yeah, watching him. I mean, the way he jumps up in the middle of the night, the way he I even my mom is like, I am so impressed by just how much Nick like is involved, wants to be involved. He has no problem doing anything, changing poop. He loves to change a poopy diaper.

He has his little routine. He's really good at the leg exercises of moving her gas along and getting her to fart and then go to the bath. He's very good at- I'm an excellent swaddler. He's a great swaddler. He's practiced.

He's perfected it. So I think just watching him really indulge himself in dad life and crush it. And like, I unfortunately do not have a relationship with my dad. He wasn't really there when I was a kid. I don't have a lot of memories. And I just constantly look at River and I'm like, you are so lucky. Like, you have such a great dad. And I just like, I can't wait for her to grow up. And for her, I've always seen like, my friends, you know, do any sort of thing with their dad, whether it's like, prom or sports or anything, and I never had that. And so I'm like, you're going to have like such a good cheerleader and a supporter. And he's, I just can't like,

I just want to give him more babies. Cause I'm like, you're just such a good dad. Everyone deserves to be your child. Truly. Thanks. So you guys are making me cry over here.'s been a lot it's been very i mean she's so much fun to watch and i you know we've been lucky she is pretty even-tempered you know

it's been pretty easy going i mean it got to the point where like you know river was crying and we we get a little like oh shit you know and i had And I had to like, be like, well, she's a baby. You know, she is going to cry because she's been so easygoing so far, which we know isn't always the case. My parents reminded me that that wasn't the case with me. But I did have to tell Natalie like, hey, like I was a sick kid. You know, I was a sick baby.

You know, even like as an adolescent, I was allergic to life. I remember my doctor saying. I got sinus infections what felt like every month. I was an asthma kid. I got pneumonia a couple times. But as an adult, I'm an incredibly healthy adult. And I just pointed it out to Natalie because it's like at some point, so far, River's coming out looking beautiful. Not every baby looks the same, and we've been very blessed. She just looks very symmetrical. She's been very healthy.

The biggest complication so far is she's been a little jaundiced. But we've been very, very lucky in that department where we just have not had a lot to worry about so far. But I just had to try to, like try to like hey someday babe we're gonna have like we're gonna be told that river has something as maybe like i had an empathigo like a skin problem i had like i felt like everything but i don't know what like river's gonna have to deal with but she's gonna have something where it's gonna be like hard for us to like oh my god but like you know kids get her out of that shit know, like we've just been very lucky that I was trying to like, just, just in case something does happen, it will still be fine. You know, we'll work through it. We'll get through it

because at some point she's going to get sick, you know, at some point we'll find out that she has some sort of condition or whatever it is and we'll just get through it uh but so far we've been very lucky yeah well well let's take a quick break uh i think uh the household has a couple of rapid fire questions that uh some list some listeners submitted let's do a texting office hours first and we'll come back we'll uh do some rapid fire questions and we'll wrap it up yeah we've got questions all right gooder all right hey listen do you like sunglasses or do you have some fashion questions and we'll wrap it up. Yeah, we've got questions. All right. Gooder. All right. Hey, listen, do you like sunglasses? Do you have some fashion friends? Or maybe you're just a glass wearer like Allie is. Maybe you have a forgetful mind or you lose things or you break things. Or maybe you just don't take the best care of your stuff. Like myself,

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tell the difference. Don't overspend on frames. It's like, if you like wasting money, do that. If you don't like wasting money, go to Goodr. Let Goodr meet your eyewear glass needs. They're 100% polarized for only $25. They're lightweight, and we love how comfortable they are. You can't even feel them on your face. If you want to support the show and pick up a pair, Goodr is giving the Vilefile listeners free shipping on your first order. So you can go to Goodr.com. That's G-O-O-D-R.com slash V-I-A-L-L and use code V-I-A-L-L to get free shipping. Goodr offers a 30-day money-back guarantee and 100% satisfaction. Find your pair at goodr.com slash V-I-A-L-L and use code V-I-A-L-L to get free shipping. As new parents, Natalie and I like to spend as much time as we can at home with our

daughter. We don't like leaving the house, but we also forget things. When we do go to the grocery store or we go to the hardware store or any store, it's easy to forget things. Well, that's where DoorDash comes in. It is saving our life and helping us be better parents because not only can DoorDash meet your obvious needs, like getting the late night food snack that you want or the butter that you forgot to get. But also DoorDash can get you some, you know, at home essentials. Maybe it's a pair of scissors that you forgot or some masking tape. We're about to send out our wedding invitations and we use DoorDash to get, what are those things you do instead of like licking envelopes? Oh, like one of those like wet stamp things? Yeah, we use DoorDash for that. No problem, because I forgot about it. And that's where

DoorDash came in. DoorDash is there to meet all your shopping needs. DoorDash makes shopping a breeze. Choose from a wide range of items from your favorite local stores, from fresh produce to pantry staples, to gifts, to pet essentials, all in one place. We also got our dog treats from DoorDash. We ran out of dog treats. They're expecting a treat every time I come home. I don't like disappointing them. 20 minutes later, DoorDash was there to save the day. DoorDash app allows you to customize,

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Did you actually get married? Yes. Okay. So when you say sabotage the wedding, you felt like your aunt ruined your wedding? Yes. And months later, I'm still feel like I'm going through the grieving process of it. Okay. Well, tell us more.

What's going on? What happened? I got engaged in process of it. Okay. Well, tell us more. What's going on? What happened? I got engaged in August of 2021. It was a really great time. I felt like I was very supported by friends and family. And then through the planning process, I learned who was really there for me and who wasn't. Things were pretty great leading up to the wedding with my aunt for the most part. Throughout the journey of wedding planning, I wedding with my aunt for the most part. Throughout the journey of wedding planning, I had lost my best friend over a conflict. There was some drama on my dad's side of the family.

And so my aunt and uncle were very supportive through all of it. And I kind of leaned on them throughout the process. And my uncle was a groomsman because he's really close with my husband. And my aunt, she was really excited to be included. And so we had asked her to help kind of be our day of coordinator. We had a really small wedding, less than 75 people. The only reason we needed someone was because our venue required it. And she was more than willing to take on that task. It wasn't much responsibility and she helped so like she helped so much throughout the process. The day before, she was there early in the morning setting up. The day of the wedding,

she was there helping. But after the ceremony is when things kind of took a turn for the worse. We had our first dance and I noticed that my mom came in really upset. I had went up to my mom asking what was wrong because clearly something was up. She was upset about something. And I noticed that my mom came in really upset. I had went up to my mom asking what was wrong because clearly something was she was upset about something. And my mom said, don't worry about it. I want you to go mingle, go see your friends you haven't seen in a while because we had a lot of people come from out of state. And it just kept bothering me. And then I wanted to dedicate my bouquet to my mom. So I was able to do that. And while I was dancing with my mom, she kind of broke down and told me that my aunt was really upset.

They had kind of yelled at her outside of the venue, saying that she didn't feel included and that we had left her out and that they had to scrimp and save to be part of our day and that we did not take their feelings into consideration. And I have had no contact with them since my wedding day, and it's been about four months. So including your uncle, who was a groomsman? Yes, and my uncle is my mom's brother. So she is engaged to my uncle, yes. Okay, so she's like your aunt by marriage. And technically, not your aunt yet?

Yeah, not my aunt yet. They actually got engaged after our wedding um around christmas time so okay we have not been able to celebrate that with them at all i kind of found out um through my brother and is your your mom's brother he's sounds like he's supporting his now fiance and and not speaking with you yes Yes, they won't communicate with us at all. They will talk to my brother. My brother is very close to them. They talk a lot about football, sports betting, anything like that. They're really close. So my brother kind of feels like he's in the middle of it. They will communicate with him, but they will not communicate with my mom or I.

My mom did apologize that night at the wedding saying she was sorry they felt that way. That was never our intentions that they didn't feel included. Does your uncle also feel that way? I mean, he was a groomsman and most uncles aren't. Yeah, I don't know. I think that from what I had heard, he was taking up for her because he was included in pictures. He had been a big part of the process and she had as well. She had helped plan my bridal shower and my bachelorette party. She was there to pick out the dress with me. So I kind of was just blindsided by her feelings and all of this. Again, my mom had reached out to them around Christmas and had asked if they wanted to talk and exchange gifts because my mom's just that kind of person. And they told my mom no.

And then my mom and brother were also in the hospital recently for separate reasons. And they just did not care. I found out from a friend last week, actually, that she had my friend ran into my aunt in the middle of the grocery store. And my aunt was not saying very nice things about me and just spreading these things. And it just bothers me. I don't know how to move on because the day wasn't about her. Yeah. Well, what are you struggling with the most, I guess, is my question. What part about this is most upsetting to you? Seeing how hurt my mom is because she feels like she lost her brother and how they're not willing to sit down and have a conversation. My end goal is I don't know if I really want to reconcile with them. I mean, I'm still pretty hurt of the drama that they caused,

but I want things to be normal with them and my mom because I feel like she's missing out a lot. Yeah. Okay. So I have thoughts. These are just my opinions. Totally get where you're coming from but like as much as you can like i don't know if this really has to affect your wedding you're still married you

and your husband you guys are good we are we are and minus the drama at the end was the wedding pretty fun you had a good time you know i know that's a lasting thought and you know but like other than that you know good stuff like you had fun you know your vows were beautiful yeah it was a good day um the rain the rain held off for the most part and that was a big stress there was definitely beautiful parts to look back on and remember i guess what i'm saying is just remember what the point of that day was and that day was for you and your husband to get married and that that happened. And a lot of people had a great time. And yeah, there was some drama there that was upsetting to you. And I totally get that. But be careful not to ruin the memory of your wedding because there's

this one situation that happened. And that's kind of entirely up to you in terms of how much energy you focus. Right now, I get it. It's upsetting. Your mom's not talking to her brother. Your aunt has proven to be someone you didn't think she was. I get why you're upset, but that doesn't take away from what happened at your wedding. But you're just focusing your energy on your aunt, and that's taking away from the memory of your wedding. And so I think that just comes down to your perspective. Your aunt, she's throwing a temper tantrum. She's's throwing a temper tantrum. You know, she's throwing an adult temper tantrum. And to me, this is a form of manipulation and bullying,

that silent treatment, you know, the ignoring, the talking behind your back. Without knowing your uncle, I would give him a little grace because everyone wants to stand up for their girl. You know, everyone wants to have their partners back. And I don't know what she's saying to him, but I would be willing to at least be open to the possibility that while he's wrong for his actions, that his intentions are to be a good partner,

even though they might be misguided. Because I think at the end of the day, it sounds like without knowing a lot of the details that he's probably just wanting to stand up for his partner. You know, he wants to be there for his girl. As misguided as his actions might be, this is more to do with her actions, you know, and him just thinking he is being a good partner to her. Even though, you know, from your end, it seems like kind of shitty, but he is just choosing to have her back, which, you know, you would probably want from your husband, you know? And so it sucks that this is the result, but like the blame I feel goes much more on her than him. And listen, she's just being a bully.

She's being an emotional bully with the whole, like, you know, not talking to you and the silent treatment and things like that. It's, it's how people try to control other people. And I think you just got to look at it that way. That's all she's doing is just trying to control the narrative. She's throwing a temper tantrum. Let's just be real. Like it's your wedding and she's making your wedding about her, which you know. So let her throw her fucking temper tantrum. I mean, honestly, I just, as much as you could, I wouldn't, you know, her ignoring you, she's

getting the result that she wants. You know what I'm saying? She knows you're asking about them. You and your mom are giving her the opportunity to ignore you two by reaching out. So stop reaching out. Stop trying. You know what? They don't want to be in your life.

So be it. I know it's sad. Her brother will come around eventually. I mean, if she is this self-centered, it's going to pop up. And eventually, I think your uncle will realize what he's, what he's dealing with is my guess. I hope so. Um, sorry, go ahead. I know this is all easier said than done, but I would just say eventually he's going to come around. But in the, in the, in the meantime, the more you try to reconcile with her and him, the more energy you're giving

her and more focus you're giving to what she did at your wedding rather than enjoying your wedding itself. And I would just look at it, just be like, hey, right now she's throwing a temper tantrum. I don't know how long she's going to throw it, but that's her problem. And eventually when you stop giving them the attention and you stop trying, I don't know when eventually when you stop caring and giving a shit and acknowledging her temper tantrum then they'll start like peeking their head up and wondering why you're not paying attention to them anymore she had posted lots of stuff on social media about us um i i blocked it from seeing it just for my mental health yeah um

just i don't really i don't really see it much anymore, but. I can't imagine anyone who is listening to your aunt talk shit about you. Like I guarantee you she's embarrassing herself more than she's embarrassing you. I know it always sucks to know that someone's out there talking shit about you, but no reasonable person is gonna hear her bullshit

and think to themselves, yeah, yeah. Her wedding was about you you're right you have the like what the fuck like it's she's she's she's not even your aunt you know what i'm saying like she was there to help and you included her and helped her and like it's like this i this self-centered person who truly is describing your wedding is is their day and that's how she's coming across to any reasonable person, you know, short of her friends that are just going to have her back because any casual acquaintance that you guys might both have isn't taking her side. So just go forward with confidence

that she isn't, she is only making herself look foolish. She is not making you or your mom look foolish. Okay. Now that's good to know. Um, when she's saying things like we, um, the only thing that they had to pay for was the tux, um, because he was a groomsman. But when she's saying that she had to like scrimp and save to be part of it, um, that they're going on like a $4,000 cruise this year, my mom's just like eager to pay them back. For what? For like them running a tux and just their contributions. They're just complaining for the sake of complaining. You know what I'm saying?

We let a people have to travel for our wedding. They are welcome to show up. They're welcome not to show up. We hope most of them can. But we understand there's a cost there. We're not fitting their travel bill. Spoiler. We have a,

we, our wedding is black tie. Everyone has to wear a tux. I'm not getting people tuxes. It's our wedding. This is the wedding we want. It's the aesthetic that how we want to look. We're inviting people.

We want to come. We understand there's a cost associated with it. We're not going to hold anyone. We're not going to take it against anyone. Who's like, Hey, we can't afford it. And if they want to come, I don't want to fucking hear how much it

costs to them and if they complain to me i don't give a fuck it's our wedding you know but like that's no everyone's not like that and so again they're just people who fucking bitch and that's how like she i think what you need to really remember is that she's embarrassing herself the more she talks the more she complains, she's just embarrassing herself. And so everything you are doing, block her on social media, ignore her, let her throw her temper tantrum. And the more attention you give her, the more she will keep complaining and talking shit. And the more you and your mom give the vibe that you're just like over it, whatever, I promise you eventually she'll come around.

She is reacting to your reaction of feeling bad. So that all sounds really good. It feels good to be justified with like blocking her and not giving into it. Yeah. Because it's so easy to see her post and be like, you're wrong, but you're the one that caused the drama and you're the one that caused this hurt and heartache. But she doesn't want your mom's money. She just wants to complain about it. And what she wants is your mom to say, well, I'll pay you back so that she could say, no, no, no, I don't want your money. It's not even about that. She's just

fucking bitching. So your mom needs to just stop offering her money she doesn't deserve anyways. And I'm sorry that their financial situation isn't great maybe they should figure their shit out maybe they should be better with their money i don't fucking know their their problem but that's a them problem it's not a you problem and she didn't have to come to your wedding you know at the end of the day you know i'm we're not throwing a wedding for other people and we didn't take everyone's yeah we didn't like before we invite you what can you afford what's your financial situation we didn't like, before we invite you, what can you afford? What's your financial situation?

I don't care. You know, we're going to throw the wedding we want. And I'm sorry if that, if people call us selfish for that. Nick is very passionate about this. Because I hear, you hear so many stories like this. And like you said, it's amazing how many people are willing to make your wedding about them. It's unbelievable, but every wedding has it. So all you can do is set that boundary with yourself. Like you said, people reveal who they are, but when they do,

don't react to it, just accept it. All right. I guess I doesn't expect this from you, but fuck it. I guess this is who you are. I've never made it someone else's wedding about me. That's absurd to me, but that's just me. Be thankful for what you do have. And which is you had a great wedding. You have a great marriage. Family will always disappoint you. You know, you have to love them because of your family. You don't have to always like them. I don't like all of my family. I love them all. I'll do anything for my family, but some, you know, I would, I would do anything for all my family members, but I wouldn't have dinner with all of them. Yeah, that makes sense.

It's just like, you have different personalities, but don't let them guilt you into not enjoying the most special day of your life. And it doesn't take away from the connection you have with your husband. And they just used your wedding. They were going to make something about them at some point. It just happened to be your wedding. It was convenient for them. It's not your fault. If it wasn't going to be your wedding, they would have picked another time, but that was their opportunity to do that. So again, it just revealed more about them, you know, and it doesn't help having to accept the difficulties of disappointing family members, but don't give them the power by obsessing over the disappointment you have. Rather, just be grateful and just say, hey, you know what? It is what it is. are happy in your marriage and not focus on the other people that were there. It's really up to you at this point because you can't go back and yell at them for what they did or have them take

back what they did. It's more so just how do you move forward? And that's by focusing on where you are now. Final thought is just nothing about this wedding, nothing about your family members actions was your fault. So don't let them make you feel like it was your wedding that caused any of this. That wasn't the case. So hopefully that was helpful. No, that's good feedback. Give us an update if anything changes. All right. Rapid fire questions before we wrap. All right. So before we wrap, we put out a Q&A on Instagram and we had a bunch of people write in with questions and we picked a few. This question was something that came up pretty often. And as you know, I am pregnant. So this is something that has been a big struggle for me. Yay, Leia's pregnant, everyone.

They've passed the torch. So yeah, this is something that has been a big struggle for me. And this question's for Natalie. What advice would you give to people who are pregnant or postpartum who are struggling with their body image? I struggled a lot. I had a really hard time. I think just because I've been this same size my whole adult life. And so to all of a sudden, like not be none of my clothes fit anymore. And so to all of a sudden, like not be none of my clothes fit anymore. I gained close to 50 pounds in my pregnancy. It's a it's a mindfuck. It's really hard to separate the two and be like, OK, no, but like I'm because it just it's it's for me, it was very mentally hard.

And I had obviously no idea how hard or easy it would be to lose it after I gave birth. But obviously, I wanted a healthy baby. I listened to my doctors and the 50 pounds, they weren't worried. A lot of it was that extra fluid that I had. And so postpartum, I have obviously been breastfeeding. They say that shrinks your uterus. And I've lost over 20 pounds in two weeks. It really just kind of like falls off you for me. So I haven't really struggled with it as much postpartum as I did during my pregnancy. But it's you really just got to focus on you're growing a human being and they need everything from you and you have to give everything to this baby and you just got to kind of let yourself unfortunately but you get it back well thank you that's really helpful to hear yeah and then we have a fun question how was your first

shit and did you shave okay first of all the shit is like. Take the Miralax in the hospital. Your first sneeze after birth is a lot scarier than your first shit. Okay. So Nick hates that I call it a shit. He's like, just say you have to go to the bathroom. She's like, River has to shit. I'm like, what? What would you rather her say?

Poop? Feces? He likes bathroom. She has to go to the bathroom i don't know we need like a description we don't need to color commentate our bowel movements um but yeah so take your miralax in the hospital and it is truly truly nothing shaving no the fuck i did not because you know first of all you can't see anything it's so hard to like try also you can't see anything you nick so hard to like try also you can't see anything you nick yourself then now you have like an open wound and you're like baby's coming

out i just didn't want to risk it they also don't fucking care like no one in that operating room is like oh my fucking god she's a bush gross no one's saying that like as especially someone who i have worked in surgery and i have seen a lot of pubic hair. No one cares. No one cares if you have shaved, if you have like a landing strip. No one's talking about it. A lot of people told me to wax before. But, you know, I was uncomfortable enough in my third trimester.

I didn't need to get waxed. So she was bushing. Period. And you know what? Bushing and proud, baby. Period. What was in your hospital bag? I packed so much shit in my hospital bag and did not use like pretty much any of it.

All I used was the fan that can like wrap around the hospital bed arms, which you can also use as like a stroller fan later on. So it was double whammy. I used that. I brought my own pillow and blanket, which Nick forgot my pillow and I sobbed about it for the first two nights that we got home. I don't know if I forgot about it, but sure. No one grabbed it. It was really hard for me to grasp. My own pillow and blanket, compression socks, because you're obviously laying in a bed for a really long time.

So you want to just keep all that. And that's really it. Your baby, I packed so many outfits for her and she's got these ankle wrap, you know, like all her bands around her ankles. You can't put her in your own club. Like they're checking her. It's just a lot easier to be in the hospital gown. You're also bleeding everywhere. I didn't want to get that on my clothes.

So I overpacked a lot, but you really only need the minimum. Cool. And then what was your first meal leaving the hospital? Well, right after I gave birth, it was late. And so we ordered Taco Bell and it was honestly disgusting. It was a letdown. And then the next day I had Jimmy John's sandwich, which is all I really wanted. A deli Italian sub Jimmy John's.

That's a good one. Perfect. Yeah. I had it a couple of days after. Yummy. And then our final question is how has it been with the dogs it's been fine they're they're yeah they are very curious they smell her a lot they we're not sleeping with them right now which is harder on me and well it's hard on them

too but hard on me but they've been sleeping with grandma and we you know we have a gate up to kind of we separated them a little bit you know from river at first you know we just don't you know we don't let them in the nursery that he do try to sneak in so we have a little bit, you know, from River at first. You know, we just don't, you know, we don't let them in the nursery that he do try to sneak in. So we have a little bit of separation from them. But I mean, I have a picture of like the first night being there and they, you know, slowly came up and Ice was feeding River

and they just lied next to me. You can tell they're very curious and very protective of her. Steve seems more protective of River than Jeff. You know, like Jeff is our first, right? Our first born. And Jeff, we call him Jealous Jeff. And we got Jealous Jeff Steve in preparation for River.

And when we got Steve, you know, at first, Jeff was annoyed, as you might expect. They're now good friends, but it took a couple weeks. You know, Steve always had Jeff. So when we brought River home like the the vibe we got for jeff was kind of like all right well i had to deal with steve i guess i'll deal with river it's kind of the energy jeff's giving you know like i i just get a sense from steve that he's very steve's been way more affectionate since we brought river home even with us than he was before we brought river home which is kind of really cute. But overall, they've both been wonderful.

Yeah. And our pediatrician did said, like studies show that families with dogs somehow decrease the risk of any type of respiratory illnesses with your babies. Interesting. Is it because they get used to that?

I don't know. Do not know. But he did say that. So it does feel good. Good to know. That was all the questions we have right now. Amazing. Well, I hope you guys enjoyed this episode next week on going deeper we have reality tv royalty candy burris is with us to do her bravo exit interview uh which was a ton of fun

um so i hope uh you guys tune in for that i love you by the way love you you're an amazing mom thanks you're an amazing dad well uh love you guys for listening thank you for supporting bye