The Viall Files - E735 RR - Tom Schwartz & GF - Coachella, Vanderpump, The Valley, and Summer House
Episode Date: April 16, 2024Welcome back to The Viall Files: Reality Recap Edition! Today, we are joined by Tom Schwartz coming at you live from the desert with PATRÓN El Alto to chat about all things Coachella and reality tele...vision. First, we talk about the #PATRÓNDESERT takeover. Then, we dive into Tom’s last appearance on The Viall Files with Tom Sandoval. Next, we talk about relationships - Jax and Brittany, Theresa and Gerry, Gypsy and Ryan, and Tom and his new girlfriend. Then, we talk about Vanderpump Rules and discuss Tom’s relationship with Jo and his thoughts on Season 11 so far. Finally, we are joined by Tom’s girlfriend Sophia to talk about her business, Coachella, and the status of their relationship. Coming up… on Thursday’s Going Deeper intro, we break down our interview with Monica and also touch on more of your favorite reality shows! “Cheers to an amazing weekend. May we only go to Coachella with Patrón for the rest of our lives.” Start your 7 Day Free Trial of Viall Files + here: https://viallfiles.supportingcast.fm/ Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to asknick@theviallfiles.com to be a part of our Monday episodes. To Order Nick’s Book Go To: http://www.viallfiles.com If you would like to get some texting advice send an email to asknick@theviallfiles.com with “Texting Office Hours” in the subject line! To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://www.advertisecast.com/TheViallFiles THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: PATRÓN El Alto Tequila - PATRÓN EL ALTO is passionately handcrafted from the finest 100% Weber Blue Agave grown in the highest parts of Jalisco, Mexico—which yields the sweetest agaves—for an incredibly smooth, luxurious taste. https://www.patrontequila.com/ Hinge - On Hinge, there are no rules, timers or games. If you’re feeling inspired, give Hinge a try. Download Hinge today and find someone worth deleting the app for. OUAI - Frizz-free up your schedule with OUAI. Go to https://www.theouai.com and enter promo code VIALL for 15% off any product. Chomps - Right now, Chomps is offering our listeners 20% off your first order and free shipping when you go to https://www.Chomps.com/VIALL OneSkin - Get 15% off OneSkin with the code VIALL at https://www.oneskin.co/ #oneskinpod Episode Socials: @viallfiles @nickviall @tschwa @patron @sophiaskoro @nnataliejjoy @ciaracrobinson @alison.vandam @justinkaphillips @leahgsilberstein @dereklanerussell Timestamps: 00:00 - Intro 01:29 - #PatrónDesert 05:25 - Schwartz/Sandoval Interview 29:48 - Jax and Brittany 31:47 - Theresa and Gerry 35:45 - Gypsy Rose 38:35 - Vanderpump Rules 01:17:52 - Sophia Joins 01:39:01 - Crossing Legs 01:42:06 - Outro
Transcript
Discussion (0)
What's going on everybody.
Welcome back to another exciting special episode of the Vile Files Reality Recap edition.
I am your host Nick joined by the household.
Ali, she's actually in house.
She's with us in the desert.
Yay!
She's real.
We got Sierra, we got sweet, sweet, sweet boy Justin.
We got Scoots Magoots over there.
He joins once every week.
My loving, wonderful baby mama, fiance, soon to be wife,
Nali Joy is with us.
Woo! Yay! my loving, wonderful baby mama, fiance, soon to be wife, Nally Joy is with us.
Yay.
And returning to the show after an iconic first time
on the Vile Falls, Mr. Tom Schwartz is with us.
Yeah, there he is.
I mean, we are taking the Vile Falls on the road.
This is our first on the road show that we've ever done,
thanks to our good friends at Patron Al Ota.
We are here recording at the Gallery Media Desert House
in the desert.
Like it's like live at Coachella.
Live at Coachella.
We are live at Coachella.
This is our first time.
We are Coachellaing.
Yeah, it's been amazing.
Look at all of Tom's bracelets.
He's really Coachellaing.
I had a lot of bracelets on this morning.
I took some off, but actually it looks, that's like the professional Coachella. I had a lot of bracelets on this morning. I took some off. But actually it looks,
that's like the professional Coachella.
Line up.
I know.
What was your favorite Patron event this weekend?
Let's see, honestly,
without a doubt,
seeing Austin Mills perform.
His DJ set was insane, sipping El Alto.
It was such a vibe.
Every song was a banger. And by the way, I was a fan sipping El Alto. It was such a vibe. Every song was a banger.
And by the way, I was a fan before I met him.
I discovered him on YouTube, a boiler room set.
Have you seen his boiler room set?
It's insane, but it's cool.
I'm kind of like, I'm fairly intimidated by him.
I haven't even asked for a picture yet, but I want to.
Anyways, that was my favorite part.
Yesterday?
At Neon.
Oh, that was before Neon, in the daytime.
Yesterday he was DJing here. Oh, great. At Neon. Yeah, that was before Neon, in the daytime. Yesterday he was DJing here.
Oh, great.
But being with Patrone, Nick,
how nice is it working with Patrone?
They made it the best Coachella experience of my life.
I'm telling you, 100%, unequivocally,
the best Coachella of my life.
It sounds like corporate speak, it's from the soul.
They taught me how to drink tequila,
so I appreciate that.
I've never really drank with you before, no. Yeah, everyone who works, just everyone in general I'm like, I'm a little bit of a I was gonna show up to the desert and go to the Patron House and then we'd show up to this little duplex with like.
Like a sweet little casita.
Yeah, and have flip cups and stuff like that
and beer pong and we show up and the Patron House,
turns out it's an absolute mansion, village.
Three acres.
It's incredible.
The coolest house you've ever seen.
There's a parking lot.
I'm like, oh, a house.
Oh, yes, of course.
Yeah, I don't know why I underestimated them,
but literally in my head,
I thought it was gonna be some sort of little baby house.
Have you guys been to Hacienda Patron?
No.
Oh, sorry.
That's exclusive.
Oh my gosh.
It's invite only, right?
What's going on?
You were invited.
I've been twice and I'm so honored to go
because it's really hard to get to go there.
And I got to see how they make the tequila from beginning to end.
Watch them harvest.
How late are you, Gave?
Keeping it up.
How late were you at the Zenyara party?
Uh...
Because we left at like 3 in the morning.
Uh, when did we leave?
It's not that...
I was about to say, I don't think the studio was there.
It was Friday.
I wasn't here.
Why did you come late?
Oh, you mean Tao Desert?
We both just weren't prepared.
I came with my friend Emily and we both just have work on Monday and Friday.
So it was like Saturday is like the only day that really worked for us.
We have work on Monday.
You're not leaving with her?
No, I'm going to stick around.
I want to hang with you guys. It's too much fun here. That's true. You never want leaving with her? No, I'm gonna stick around, I wanna hang with you guys.
It's too much fun here.
He's the Patron boy.
That's true, he never wanna leave Patrona a lot though.
Well, the problem with going to a party with Patron
for Coachella, it's like flying first class
for the first time.
Totally.
It's hard to go back.
I can never go to Coachella without Patron again.
That's what I'm saying.
Because we got front row bingo, we showed up,
we drove in, we were at Lana Del Rey, right, immediately.
That's gangster.
It was iconic.
And usually you have to walk four miles
to get to Coachella.
Source object for her.
You don't like?
I love Lana.
I love Lana.
And I missed it.
It was a great show.
I'm so sad that I missed her.
That's why we went to the festival to see Lana
and her entrance was iconic, it was great.
I went to Outside Lands for her though.
She actually.
So I went to San Fran just to see her.
Yeah, she actually took us backstage.
She blew us a kiss.
Are you serious?
No, I know you're joking now.
No, stop, that was about to kill me.
She actually came over.
That was about to kill me.
She asked if we knew anyone with a vintage jaw off,
and I said no.
I said yeah.
Stop.
She told me to go to the Beverly Center
and find a basic bitch, and I'm thinking about it. sorry. Stop. She told me to go to the Beverly Center and find a basic bitch and I'm thinking about it.
Literally.
I can't pull.
That's a Lana quote, you know as well.
Well.
This is nice guys.
And for you Vilephile fans,
make sure you listen to the episode for a special discount
to get your own bottle of Patron El Alto Tequila
at reservationbar.com with code SHIPELALTO
now through April 30th with code S-H-I-P-E-L-A-L-T-O.
Again, now through April 30th. Get yourself a bottle of Patronel Alto. Tom, are you nervous?
Are we still recovering from the first time? Should we get into that? Do you want to like
let anything off your chest? I feel kind of guilty,
because I feel like I should have had an intervention
in the moment and pulled him aside and be like,
you shouldn't do this today.
Although, that being said, it was iconic.
It was.
Like it wasn't boring.
No.
And when he strolled in there with the shades on
and the picture of him and the tiger,
I was like, oh, we are in for it.
No, no.
He propped that picture frame up and you're like, absolutely not. I think I, my favorite part, I was like, oh, we are in for it. No, no. He propped that picture frame up
and you're like, absolutely not.
I think I can, my favorite part over here,
like, no, you know what, this can be a teachable moment.
You did.
You tried so hard to bring him back online, you know?
Get the wheels going.
Well, and I texted you privately about this,
but I didn't realize, you never know
when grief is going to strike. And for whatever reason, but I didn't realize, you never know when grief is gonna strike.
And for whatever reason,
him losing his best friend just struck the night before
and he went on a bender, an absolute bender.
Not to excuse him being a half hour late.
But like, what?
To clarify, it wasn't that he was a half hour late.
We all had no idea if he was coming.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was the silence, I think.
He's a no call, no shower.
Which it was actually shocking that once he did wake up,
he showed up in like 20 minutes.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's what he does.
Yeah, I probably would have just never answered
the phone call.
I would have been like, oh my God, I was in the shower.
But he actually answered and he showed up.
Yeah, he had a lot of pain behind those eyes.
He did. We didn't see him.
He did.
Sunglasses stayed on.
He had sunglasses. Do you have pain behind your eyes? It's all there right now. Okay, you look a lot of pain behind those eyes. He did. We didn't see him. He had sunglasses.
He had sunglasses.
Do you have pain behind your eyes?
It's solid right now.
Okay, you look great.
I think I have light.
You actually do.
You do.
You look very refreshed.
You got some color.
Thank you, Natalie.
Should we cheers to that?
Yeah, I have levity.
I feel like an inner peace
that I haven't felt in two years.
You wanna talk about that?
Well, we can lean into it a little bit.
Yeah, let's lean in.
Why is your heart so full and blessed?
It's full of hope.
Well.
Like the new person in your life or?
Yeah, some of it's Sophia,
but I think a lot of it is just
not having people in the hospital.
Not having family members in the hospital.
That's really real.
It was like a nonstop for two years,
like my brother, both brothers, my dad, but like
flying back and forth across the country.
It's like, it has a profoundly stressful impact on your life.
Yeah.
Especially when they're giving like a 5% chance to live.
And so everyone's home.
Everyone's home.
Everyone's stable right now.
Amazing.
Yeah.
That is amazing.
I dealt with that too.
And it is exhausting.
Yeah.
Emotionally. Not really sure if you have to get on the flight
for all the wrong reasons.
Yeah, it can be heavy.
Dude, yeah.
Yeah.
But I'm happy to be here.
We're happy to have you.
You guys look lovely.
Do you have a fun weekend?
I mean, we're recording this on Sunday
at the tail end of the Coachella weekend,
but I gotta say, it's been really enjoyable
hanging out with you all weekend.
Nick, I love you.
I love you too.
Dude, you're my man.
Nick has been like, where's Tom?
Where's Tom?
Should we find Tom?
Where'd Tom go?
And then I said something to you.
It was at the Gallery Desert House yesterday
when I said something to you and you ran away.
Nick was like, what did you say to Tom
to make him run away?
I am a flight risker.
I was like, don't scare him.
I was so worried because obviously
I think the first episode was pretty heavy on you.
Yes, yes.
Although you came out looking quite well.
I don't know if you did you feel that on your end?
It seemed like from our end, you know, you got the normal Tom Schwartz, you know, flack.
But I think a lot of people appreciated how hard you were trying to ring in your friend.
Yeah, honestly, I got a lot of positive feedback from that.
I'm glad to hear.
The most positive feedback I've ever gotten
from an episode.
Really?
Constructive, healthy, and positive.
That warms my heart.
Yeah.
Have you talked to Tom since?
I text him a couple times, I haven't gotten a response.
Natalie, have you talked to Tom?
No, I have not.
I don't think he was the biggest fan of me.
He was kinda yelling at Natalie. Yeah, he was a little aggressive. I think he was the biggest fan of me and he was kind of yelling at Natalie.
Yeah, he was a little aggressive. Yeah. Um, I know,
I think he wants to come back on. Does he? Yeah. He is so low.
Really? We would love to have him. And yeah, he doesn't want you by his side.
Are you sure? Is he sure?
Full PR mode. Did you get paid for that?
Did you have like a pleasure in your pocket? You certainly did better than, who is this?
Riley.
Was it Riley?
Who's his publicist?
Yeah, from the article.
That was a tough beat.
Did you know that was coming?
The New York Times article?
My God, man.
Just when things started to simmer down,
and I see the headline,
how Tom Sandoval became the most hated man in America.
And I'm just like, Oh, was the cake shoot already planned or was that just a
recovery situation?
I like it warm and moist.
I'm like, Tom, what are you doing?
He told, I talked to him about it.
I was, you know, I love Tom.
I'm sorry.
I don't know.
We know Tom Sandoval, but he's like, I was just so happy to do something that was a fluff piece,
not regarding my personal life
in the affair and everything.
He was so, yeah, he jumped the gun.
He's like, yes, I'll do it.
He's an artist.
But dude, I told him this,
and I think I can say this on the record,
one of the worst photo shoots of all time.
And he knows that, although Interview Magazine is iconic.
Iconic, but it just was like, oh my God, man.
I'm framing all those pictures, by the way.
Along with a tiger photo.
When I did Tom's podcast episode,
I tried to convince him to get on OnlyFans,
and I've talked about it on the show.
I think it would be, it's the obvious move for him.
You think so?
You don't? He would crush.
He would crush, he'd make so much money.
I don't think it would do anything negative for his brand.
This is interesting.
Like kind of a WWE wrestler persona on there?
Literally, I don't care what persona he brings on,
but I think he would, it would do quite well for him.
I think-
Him just in like wrestling unitars, speedos.
You can play a new character every week.
It does not matter.
He has those sinister good looks, Dom.
Yeah.
I think that's one of the reasons why,
like amongst other things,
it's hard for some people to empathize with him.
He's just so sinisterly good looking.
No.
Is that his problem?
Don't you think he-
That's his big.
That's what it is. That's what it is. Yep. We figured it out.
I'm glad that you bring that up. It's not that. Yeah. But he's going to be so mad. It's not the,
I wouldn't cheat that way. Is that a trigger for him? The yeah. But yes. Don't ever bring that up.
Can you explain that for us? Why? Why is that a trigger? Cause he's a proponent of nuance and in context.
And he just, you know, he's like, you know,
I don't want to get you in trouble.
No, no, no. I love Tom. I love you, brother.
But yeah, man, if you think I joke around about that with him
and it is very triggering, it's the fastest way to get him upset.
But that's that's his that's his M. his. It's his MO, it's his MO.
That's how he gets out of all this shit.
It's just to listen for that one note
that you, and have it not be a trigger.
That's it.
It will change his life, literally.
How you guys feel about the second half of
VPR?
I'm really enjoying this season.
I feel like it got better.
I feel like there's a little more levity. It feels like vintage VPR to me.
I think it's really fun.
I love my dynamic with Katie right now.
Do you know that the reason I met Katie
is because of Patrona Alto?
Yes, I know that.
Yeah, it's a great story.
Very serendipitous.
We went to Vegas.
It was the first time they were launching Patrona Alto.
It's how I got, that's how I started liking tequila.
I mean, before I was just like,
when Party Nick would come out few and far between,
I would do some shots.
That's tequila.
What's party Nick like?
Natalie, what is, tell us about party Nick.
Do you want me to be honest with you?
Yes.
I've never ever seen it.
Is it tequila Katie-esque?
No, no.
I remember everything.
I just, I get the spins, I get the spins.
So I drink responsibly as we all should.
And thank God, because like I learned that tequila,
when you're drinking a good one, like patronato,
you can actually, you can sip it.
It's meant to be sipped.
Like an adult, like adults who drink alcohol properly,
sip it and enjoy it.
Put it on the rocks, maybe a little bit of lime.
This is the ultimate sipping tequila.
It is.
I'm serious, I'm in my honeymoon phase with this.
And in my opinion, my very humble opinion,
the sexiest bottle of all time.
I was gonna say, it looks good on a shelf.
Look at this bottle.
It's good.
Yeah, and that's why the new hit podcast
disrespectfully exists is because of Patronalto.
How's the podcast doing with the girls?
Wonderful, they're crushing life.
I saw Dana, by the way.
I saw Dana at the festival.
We did it.
Yeah, how's she doing? Yeah, she's solid and
Ariana was there too. I was like, I kind of wanted to go say hi, but I didn't want I wanted to...
I think you had like some lightning bolts on your sweatshirt. So you rolled them up. You're a little scared. I think.
I rolled up my sleeves. I was like of all the times to be wearing the lightning bolt tom-tom sweater.
You ran into Ariana?
Dude, I rolled my sleeves up. Do you wanna say Ariana or Ariana?
To your shoulders.
You had it like so high rolled up.
Natalie, did I confide in you or did you just see that?
No, I just saw that.
Did I confide?
No, I just saw that.
Now I'm embarrassed.
No.
I didn't think anyone saw that.
Cause I was like, if I run into her,
I don't wanna have the lightening bolts on my sweater.
It was like not a natural roll.
It was like definitely really.
No, I was panicking, Nick.
I was like, cause I really love Ariana,
but she doesn't really love me.
But I think we're.
Does she still hate you?
No, she doesn't hate me.
I could tell by the way she looked at me at the reunion.
I know there's love there,
but I give her a lot of space and grace.
And I'm here if she ever wants to chat.
Did you, where did you see her?
Did you see her at the?
Somehow I got an artist pass.
I don't even know how I got it.
But we were watching Peggy, oh no, Justice.
We were watching Justice and her and Dan were there
apparently, that's her new boyfriend.
You met him?
You met Dan?
No, I asked if you met Dan.
What if you'd ever do the podcast?
Have you ever asked Ariana to do the podcast?
She's been on.
She's been on. You guys are so good at podcasting. Thank you. Thank you ever asked Ariana to do the podcast? She's been on. She's been on.
You guys are so good at podcasting.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Sorry.
Where did you see Ariana?
Oh, I didn't see her.
You didn't?
No, but I-
You rolled your sleeves up.
You heard she was there and you panicked
and you rolled the sleeves up super high.
After Dana-
He pulled it away.
Dana told me that Dan and Ariana were like 10 feet away
and I looked down at both my arms and I was like,
my God, I cannot enter with this sweater on.
It wasn't the sweater, if you know what I'm talking about.
Not the bedazzled?
No, but it was adjacent.
It was.
Did you fly here?
Yeah, I did.
I'm jealous.
We drove actually.
Yeah.
We had to, well, first time parents, we had to like,
this is a big moment for us coming on the road.
Yeah.
It was our first, it was like, all right,
we've got to pack everything for this baby
and fill up the car and then we're like,
oh, we forgot this, oh, we forgot this,
we got to go back to the house, we forgot this.
It was like a 10 hour journey,
just because being a new parent introduces new obstacles.
But I was really proud of Natalie and I,
we're getting married and soon-ish,
don't want to give that away, but we've been nesting
for the past, I don't know how many months,
then we had our daughter, and then Patron came a call in
and we're like, should we?
Should we?
Should we?
Should we shut?
You guys deserve this.
I think we do.
We need a little break.
And we're so lucky, obviously, we said it before,
but we have Nellie's mom, we have grandma with us.
That makes it all the difference.
Nellie and I might be the most luckiest couple
in the world, given our in-laws because like we have two sets of parents
They just love us. They just want us to be happy and they don't they don't get in the way they like
Nellie's mom will never give a note that we don't want that's the key to like having great and my parents the same
They're they're they're they're just there to love. Yeah, that's such a luxury.
Right.
That most people aren't afforded.
No, parents are just like,
even us leaving River with her will be like,
okay, so let's feed her and this, let's do this,
let's do this.
And my mom was never like, well, I think, or we should.
She's like, okay, got it, okay.
You guys, well, being newfound parents,
do you guys get guilt pangs when you're not with her?
No, we're with her so much.
Well, I was asking, I don't.
Sorry.
You're stuffed the fuck up.
I was like, what the fuck up?
Exposed.
Oh my God.
He said, no, we actually don't.
We love being away from her.
I was just saying, we're with her all the time.
So the few times we go out,
we're lucky enough to have Nellie's mom.
I'm not worried.
Like I know she's in good hands.
Yeah, I think I would struggle if she was with a stranger
or someone like we hired off
the street but I think knowing she's with my mom I have a fear of her like falling in love with a
nanny and her not loving me as much so I'm like okay with grandma would love for you to love
grandma as much as possible but a nanny I just can't do it. Nanny's a great luxury too. Are you
guys I know when you like when you first have a child the romance can dwindle do you have you guys, I know when you first have a child, the romance can dwindle.
Have you guys implemented like a regimen,
like all right, we're gonna go on one date a week
to keep the spark going?
We had a date night out last Sunday.
Yep.
That was Nally's idea with an eye plan.
She goes, we're going on a date.
I said, okay.
I said, where are we going?
She goes, that is entirely up to you.
So then I sent her flowers
and then we went to that new steak place on Ventura.
Boulevard.
Yeah, which seems to be a hit in the valley.
How did you guys meet again?
I slid into his DMs.
Oh, that's right, I love this story.
How did you meet Sophia?
We actually met on a whim at TomTom.
And it's funny, ironically, around that moment,
I made a pledge, not only to myself,
but to the universe, that I will not hang out or date.
I'm just gonna be single and work
for the next two years, official.
And then I bumped into her and I was just like.
Irresistible.
Love comes at you in unexpected ways.
Is Elle too strong?
I don't wanna scare her.
She's in the room.
She's in the room.
She's watching.
I don't wanna scare her. Can I give a shout out. She's in the room. She's watching. I don't want to scare her.
Can I give a shout out to Sophia?
One of the coolest human beings on planet earth,
the baddest bitch alive.
I agree.
She is got this unconventional sense of humor.
She's sharp as hell, super successful.
I was gonna say, isn't she like a business woman?
Yeah, she is a vintage clothing curator.
She has a store called Shop Sosco.
Spell it.
He's already plugging her business.
S-H-O-P-S-O-S-K-O, Shop Sosco.
Was that right?
Can we talk about you branding yourself?
Why do you?
Yeah, there it is.
Tattoos, tattooed on his arm.
It's Pina tattoos.
She's so good at what she does.
Anyways.
What's your favorite thing about the way she makes you feel?
She overlooks all my baggage.
She accepts you for who you are.
Yeah.
She does.
You make me feel so young.
How do you?
That's the headline.
No.
Are you sensitive about the age gap questions?
I mean.
You know Nick and I have a large age gap.
You're among friends here.
Yeah.
What do you, honestly, if I was like,
if I was a lecherous old man trolling bars,
like seeking out young women,
I think that would feel gross,
but we just kind of bumped into each other.
She found you.
We hit it off.
We literally just bumped into each other and man, yeah.
Was it serendipitous?
It was, you know, I love that word and that movie.
Katie, Katie loves that movie.
Oh. It's a great film.
Can I have a refill?
Can I second that?
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There are no rules timers or games if you're feeling inspired give him to try download Hinge today and find someone worth deleting the app for
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Have you ever walked into a Publix barefoot?
Have I?
Yeah. No. You know Publix barefoot? Have I? Yeah.
No.
You know Publix is only a thing that's on the East coast.
Yeah.
I'm from California.
I'd never been to a Publix until I visited Fort Lauderdale.
You never had a...
Wait, what is it?
Publix is the best grocery store chain in Florida.
Why the fuck is it not in California?
We need it.
I will die on this hill.
We need it.
Have you had the chicken finger, the sub sandwich?
Are you serious, Natalie? That's literally my favorite thing. That's my favorite thing
there. The chicken tender sub is next level. My mouth is watering. Wait, this is giving
callbacks to Dillard's when I was like, what is Dillard's? And then everybody clowned me.
They're like, who's that boy and why does he not know what that is? Who's that uncultured
swine? Did you know that Justin used to work at Trader Joe's? You did? Is it true that you're
almost forced to be extra positive at the at the cashier? Not forced, but I will say they cast
flirtatious people. And like you kind of have a riz and whoever's the most like rizziest kind of
has. So it's like reality TV. He was an internet Bravo, had no idea. And then he said, I work at
Trader Joe's. I'm like, that's a work ethic. Yes. Respect though, that is a work ethic.
What did you do in your interview to get the job?
Did you do a dance?
Did you take your shirt off?
Smiled and looked pretty.
I will say, I told them I worked at Bravo
and they're like, we don't care.
They're like, what else?
Nick, what was your first job?
McDonald's.
Well, like for a corporate America job.
You and Jack.
My first job was like mowing lawns.
Jack's first job was at McDonald's.
No, Nick, that does not count.
You say that every time.
I made money.
It doesn't count.
Like on a payroll.
Like on a payroll.
Yeah.
Are you saying landscapers is a profession
that doesn't exist? No, no.
No, yeah, you at like 12, mowing the neighbor's lawn
is not your first job.
If you did it for under 20 bucks.
Yeah, you like working at McDonald's.
Well shut the fuck up about my life.
No, but you at McDonald's on working the fryer.
I never worked a fryer.
I did steal chicken nuggets though.
Every time I'd walk back to the bathroom, I was like, nugget.
I worked there for three months.
Why did you quit?
They scheduled me when I had a track meet.
Wait, and you're like, I'm not coming.
Did he quit or did they just look at the tapes
and they're like, these are where the chicken nuggets are going?
He's gone.
What was your first job?
TGI Fridays.
Obviously. Were you a waiter?
I was a busser, a host, and eventually.
So is that your only job?
At the time I was 16.
I say this as a dear friend of yours.
Okay.
With all due respect.
With all due respect.
No offense.
I said something over the weekend,
I go, that sounded so condescending.
And then Tom goes, you can only sound condescending,
which made me feel really bad about myself.
But anyway, you're like the real-life Kramer.
I love.
I think that's a compliment.
Your persona on Vanderpump is this guy who's
never really had a job.
Anytime you get put in a job type of setting,
you're like, I can't do this, this is too much for me.
The panic attack at pump.
That was an existential crisis.
Any type of working you're just like allergic to,
that's the perception.
And yet like you're 40 some, you're 40?
Yeah. Yeah.
It's like you have never had a job,
you like fall into money and opportunities your whole life.
And it seems like you've had like this first rate life of never having actually worked.
That honestly, that's a common misconception because I am a hustler.
Okay.
I worked my ass off when I moved to LA. I had 10 different jobs,
no less than 10 different jobs and I was grinding it out.
So this was just a character that-
I mean-
You're the mactor.
I'm a mactor, but like actually I've done legitimate work.
I've booked commercials, my Coles.
You didn't see my Coles commercial?
That's actually, I did see that.
Think pink, baby.
Yeah.
Did you have to actually go to Coles to do the photo shoot?
Did you go to Menominee Falls?
The Coles job actually was, while we're on the subject,
it actually gave me the confidence to stay in Los Angeles.
Cause at that point I was like, I just,
I can't do this anymore.
I cannot deal with any more rejection.
And I went to that casting for the Coles commercial
and it was like all the biggest models and actors,
like all the faces that you see.
And I was fairly intimidated, but I ended up booking it
and I was like, oh my God, maybe, maybe I can do this.
Maybe I got something special here.
They saw you.
Yeah.
So at what point, like, when did you meet Katie?
When did, like, the show start happening?
What were you doing then?
Oh, let's see, okay.
So I moved back here in 2009.
I met Tom on Craigslist.
You met Tom on Craigslist?
Yeah.
Was he already living with Jocks?
No, he wasn't.
He was living with Kristen.
And I met him online.
We hit it off.
We talked a few times.
And yeah, I packed up everything I had in my 2003 Honda Civic.
I drove across the country and the rest is history.
But you meaning Tom on Craigslist
is the ultimate me cute.
It's the ultimate me cute.
I know.
That's what I'm saying.
It's like, yeah, so Kristen and Tom were there in the beginning. Then three months later, Jax moved in. He's the ultimate me cute. I know. That's what I'm saying. It's like yeah, so Kristen and Tom
were there in the beginning,
then three months later, Jack's moved in.
He put the sheet up for the wall.
The revolving door.
Yes.
By the way, I don't know if,
I think I can say this now.
He's in a good place,
but like even with a sheet for a wall in the living room,
that guy was pulling beautiful women.
You're talking about Jack's too?
Yeah.
Oh my God.
How does he do it?
I think it's like they kind of had some sort of like
sympathy thing, I don't know.
They feel bad for him.
Well he's a master manipulator, I'm sorry.
I'm just not, I'm not a supporter of your friend Jax.
Maybe he used to be, I know you guys don't like each other.
Maybe he used to be.
Oh, he's mutual.
He's, he's.
He blocked me.
He's evolved, he's evolved a lot.
He's a hell of a father, but yeah.
What happened with you and Jax?
You've already told the story.
Oh yeah, we did.
You can tell it again.
I was the bachelor and we were out.
I was at a friend's club opening
and him and Brittany were there
and Brittany asked for a photo,
took the photo with Brittany and then Jax asked for one.
And all I knew about Jax was that he was
he was like Sandoval at that point you know it was scandal it was like I can't be the current
bachelor and this is the time where I was done filming I was secretly engaged no one could know
about it and I didn't want to be seen in a picture with Jax Taylor you know I was like
I was like yes all right no and he got really upset about it.
I've never declined a picture. Listen we know Nick is direct. Wow it's like I'm worried I've never said no to a picture because I'm sorry, no. And he got really upset about it. I've never declined a picture. Listen, we know Nick is direct.
Wow.
It's like, I'm worried I've never said no to a picture
because I'm worried that then from that moment on
that's gonna be their impression of me.
That was his impression of me.
It's long lasting.
How many years ago was that?
2016, 2017, yeah.
Would you have Jackson on your pod?
Absolutely, yeah.
Yeah, he's changed.
He's evolved.
I would love for him to come on and show us.
Yeah, by the way, are you guys digging the valley?
Love the valley.
Love the valley too.
It's weird, cause I'm friends with all of those people.
All of them.
Those are my friends.
I just never imagined them on a television show,
but it's working.
Yes.
They're all in entertainment.
How did you, you know, like Kristen was on BBR.
Well, no, Kristen and Jax, but I'm talking about-
Is it Jesse who was like, I was on Hannah Montana?
Yeah, like I'm talking Jesse-
But Jesse was on Hannah Montana?
Danny, Danny.
Danny was, Danny's a voiceover artist.
But yeah, I just, I don't, it's weird when your friends
are all of a sudden thrust into a TV show.
And it's actually, I think it's working.
Do you make any special appearances?
I have a few cameos.
You do.
And I think at the beginning,
I came into Jax's bar before it was open. I was like, just so you know, man,
it can have a very negative impact on your personal life.
You said this to Jesse.
To Jax, your romance.
Didn't Jax know this?
It's Jax's bar.
Oh, the bar part.
As he was opening it, I'm just like, yeah,
I was not to be too foreboding,
but I'm like, just so you know, man,
it's brutal on your relationship.
What did he say?
Well, he's like, oh no, man, it's all good.
We're doing this together 50-50.
Aren't you seen in a promo that you were like,
you're gonna end up moving in with me
or something like that.
Did I jinx him?
Maybe.
Bars are not conducive to a great marriage,
unless you're both in the business together.
It's just grueling hours, late nights.
You drink more than you probably wanna be drinking.
Have you seen the video of him at Jax's watching VPR
with a microphone saying it was staged?
Yeah, I reached out to him directly.
I was like, why would you ever say that?
You of all people know that nothing on our show
has ever been staged, but it felt like kind of vindictive
or I don't know.
He apologized to me, he's like, I'm sorry man,
I was just, he said he was triggered by something
Sheena said, even if it was true, which it's not,
I think that, yeah, it's one of the reasons
the show's been so successful as it is,
because it's authentic, it's organic,
and my pain is your pleasure.
Do you think we're gonna see Jesse and Michelle's
divorce on? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. What's his story? My pain is your pleasure. Do you think we're gonna see Jesse and Michelle's divorce?
Yes.
Yeah.
What's his story?
I thought, well, let's get into the valley now.
We have to talk about the Golden Bachelor
before we let you go.
I don't wanna cry though.
Are you sad that?
Can we talk about the Golden Bachelor
before we get into the valley?
I would love to actually.
Gary and Teresa are divorced.
The most unsuccessful marriage in Bachelor Nation history.
Yes, true.
It's crazy.
But you know, for all of the unsuccessful engagements,
Bachelor Nation marriages have a pretty decent track record.
You know, granted relatively early marriages,
but like there've been very little divorces.
But until like a couple of years ago, there were no divorces.
There were more children created from Bachelor Nation
than there were divorces. But were more children created from Bachelor Nation than there were divorces,
but now Gary ruined that.
I was so emotionally invested in that show. I mean, I cried every episode, I think. I
was dialed in like I haven't been in a long time. Right? Did you love it?
I definitely did love it. And I cried a lot. I mean, it was nice to see all the golden suitors and Gary be so earnest about finding love.
But the more we watch, I think Gary was too good to be true.
But I'm curious what changed.
I mean, what actually has to happen in a marriage
for you to, because what were the reasons
for getting divorced?
I will pull up there.
But they announced it on GMA,
and I thought it was interesting.
He filed that same day.
He filed.
There was very little time. It was like they announced it publicly, and and I thought it was interesting. He filed that same day. He filed. There was like very little time.
It was like they announced it publicly
and then he was like going to the court.
It was like, let's be separated.
And then he always looks at her like he gives an answer
and then he looks at her as if he's coaching her.
Well, and what I thought was weird
and probably icky for both of them,
if they were already feeling this way
and were maybe planning on getting divorced,
they were at AFR with the other couples
and they had like kiss and they had the toast and was that all an act,
I'm assuming, if they're on the brink of divorce?
But it's one thing to get engaged on this show.
It's another thing to get married.
Like what has to happen for,
I think they said something about like moving.
They were gonna live together and because they couldn't
find, it's like they went apartment shopping for a weekend,
couldn't find something.
Gary's like, sorry, we gotta get divorced.
But it was also fast.
Like it was literally the show ended
then we televised the wedding.
So it was kind of like, you don't really have a choice here.
And it's like, you guys don't know each other.
You know, you spend what, five, 10 hours tops
with like the person you probably are choosing.
Sure, but they decided to get married.
But televised, that's what I'm saying.
Where I'm like, maybe like cameras off
and being in each other's space, we're like, wait, you like this? I don't like that. Yeah, I know, but I'm excited to get married. But, televised, that's what I'm saying, where I'm like, maybe like cameras off and being in each other's space,
we're like, wait, you like this?
I don't like that.
Yeah, I know, but I'm just surprised
just because it's like, I think if two 20 year olds
like decide to make all these fast decisions
and then realize one day wake up and go,
oh fuck, what did we do?
You're like, they're young and they're just figuring it out.
It's a rite of passage.
Yeah, it's like, you know, with Gary and Teresa, you would think that if they're
going to rush into a marriage and actual, not an engagement in a marriage, I'm
just, you would think that there would be more, less chance that they would come
to regret that regret that decision.
And if so, like what I'm saying, what has to happen in three months for them to
A decide to actually sign a marriage license and B, immediately get divorced.
He listed the reason for their split
as an irretrievable breakdown of their marriage.
And then the quote said,
Teresa and I have had a number
of heart to heart conversations
and we've looked closely at our situation,
our living situation and so forth.
And we've kind of come to the conclusion mutually
that it's probably time for us to dissolve our marriage.
And then he looked at her, and we kinda nodded at her,
and she's like, I guess, I guess I have to agree with this.
Did they do a tell-all?
Did they divulge the intricacies of what went wrong?
Well, right now, I think it seems like Teresa
is getting the Gypsy Rose's mom treatment,
where it's kinda like someone's telling her what to say.
Teresa, if you're listening,
if Teresa's family members are listening to this episode,
if you're out there in a couple months
when this eventually gets messy
and the real truth gets out there, we're here to help.
We're here to get your truth out.
We've been suspecting for a long time
that maybe Gary's not so golden after all.
So join in.
So join in, yeah.
I think there's a messiness afoot with Gare.
What's up with Gypsy Rose?
She just got, she got divorced.
And she filed the restraining order.
And filed the, yeah.
Every week, every, every day gets messier and messier.
From the fire D comment to divorce in like two months.
Yeah.
What had to happen?
The fire D was the divorce.
Freedom?
Fire divorce. Maybe the D was so fire, she was like, you know.
All along, the D was never dick, it was divorce.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Decoded.
She's trying to tell everyone.
Oh, shit.
That is crazy.
Yeah, well anyway.
What else is going on guys?
It continues to get messy and we.
Did you see Taylor and Travis at Coachella?
They were there?
Yeah.
They were like in the pit.
They were like hanging out with the normies.
Like, which honestly I thought was really charming.
I was really like.
It's endearing.
I'm excited that Taylor gets to do that.
And I think we all credit goes to Travis
because he's six five and 250.
Yeah.
And a professional athlete and everyone's like,
I wouldn't fuck with that guy.
I mean, they must be the most followed
paparazzi couple on the planet right now, yes? Probably. Of all time. All a professional athlete. And everyone's like, I want to fuck with that guy. I mean, they must be the most followed paparazzi couple on the planet right now.
Yes. Probably.
About time. About time.
I remember like back in the day,
Michael Jackson would like rent out a grocery store and just go in there and
peruse just to feel normal.
I wonder if Taylor Swift does stuff like that. She can't just,
she can never just go out to like TGI Fridays, get a,
were you hoping to wait on her?
To get a mud slide or something. Her and Travis went and got sushi on a Friday.
They're such a great couple.
By the way, I was more or less indifferent
to Taylor Swift until I saw her perform.
I went to SoFi.
I got like 600 bracelets.
Everybody was so sweet, but she killed it.
I get it, I get it now.
You guys Swifties? Oh my God, yes. They're huge. What was your favorite song? I got
roasted for this I don't want to say it. Say it. Well my favorite album is 1989.
What's wrong with that? That makes sense to me. The girls told me that's basic. What girls?
At the concert because they were like oh my god Tom Schwartz what are you
doing here? I was like you let me know you're a Swiftie. I'm like what's your
favorite song? I'm like wow this dreams and just like oh Iie. I'm like, what's your favorite song? And I'm like, wow, this dreams and just like, oh, I roll.
It's a great song.
It is a great song.
It's a great song.
It's a ballad.
Are you a Swiftie Sophia?
Where's Sophia?
Where'd she go?
She took a break.
Your girlfriend left.
Are you guys officially boyfriend and girlfriend?
I mean, I think so.
I'm trying not to scare her away.
Why would you scare her?
She seems like, yeah, she seems like that.
She's incredible.
I just don't want to put any pressure on her. Let's be honest. I have baggage, man.
She doesn't. She does. No baggage. No baggage. Yeah. None.
I have a little baggage. Don't I? Tom Schwartz, I do reality TV.
It's got to have a divorce. I mean, to be fair, your baggage is televised.
So it's kind of like, that's, that's what I'm getting at. You know? Yeah. It's,
um, it's not for everybody.
Did she watch the show before meeting you?
She had dabbled.
But she told me after we started hanging out,
she went back and kind of retroactively caught up
at everything.
Oh, she did.
And that makes me shocked
that she still wants to hang out with me, honestly.
I could never.
Can we talk about me on the show?
Yes, please.
I watch it and there's a complete disconnect.
Oh, tell us.
Are you talking about the latest episode?
Yes, yes.
I'm just like, I'm slouchy and like kind of spazzy
and uncouth and I'm just like,
Tom, what are you doing, buddy?
What are you doing?
Get your, I'm very disappointed in what I see.
Not to be like Mr. Self-deprecating,
but when I watch it, I just like,
come on man, you're better than that.
What do you think the biggest misconception
about who you are as a person that's been portrayed
and like, how would you correct that?
That I'm a moron.
Aw, I don't think you're a moron.
No one thinks you're a moron.
Oh, I think I come off as like a lovable idiot.
Like in the sense of as Sandoval's like sidekick
or like complicit.
Well, a lot of people also put a lot of blame on you for the affair that happened and everything.
Do you feel like you take a lot of responsibility for things that like other people that you're close with do?
By the way, it was crazy, by the way. In real time over the course of six months, it was like my entire reputation was just dismantled.
I can laugh about it now. In hindsight, it was like my entire reputation was just dismantled. I can laugh about it now.
In hindsight, it's actually hilarious. But in the moment, it really sucked. Especially when your
names are slapped on the side of a bar. And we really were establishing ourselves as a reputable
spot. People were digging it, the drinks, the food, the vibe. And then all of a sudden we went from
like 4.6 stars to two stars and got ugly. Like I feel like I weathered it pretty well,
but I felt bad for the employees and everything.
You know what I mean?
Dude, it got crazy in there.
There was nights we had,
there was at least one night where we had to shut down
from like vague, I don't know if I wanna say it.
Was it graffiti?
No, no, just like people calling in
and threatening crazy shit.
It got, dude, it was like, dude,
it turned into a fucking fever dream.
And I miss Trillium fandom.
Yeah.
But this episode in particular bothered you?
No, yeah.
I just felt, ugh, I don't know.
I mean, I think the singles party,
the kiss with the woman, it was, it seemed a little.
It was an uncomfortable kiss, by the way.
No, it looked uncomfortable.
I was sober.
What did she say?
I'm a really good kisser or something?
Yeah, she was so, by the way, no disrespect to her.
She was incredibly charming, but I didn't go there
to hook up with someone or meet.
I just wanted to go have fun.
I felt like in that moment, you're like,
fuck it, I'm a real ITV star, here we go.
She said, are you single?
She said, are you single?
And you showed your little green band.
And she goes, then kiss me.
Yeah.
You've never kissed anyone like me.
That literally is what it's like to be the Bachelor.
If you ever want to know.
They all have wristbands.
They say two words to you,
and then they're like, all right, let's make out.
That is literally what it's like.
No, she was lovely and incredibly charming,
but it felt, I don't know if it looks that way,
but it was awkward.
No, it very much looked awkward.
Yeah, and I don't know, I look awkward. Yeah and I it's I
don't know I'm watching that I'm watching this season back and it's like
I don't know I I kind of feel bad because I didn't do a great job
communicating to Joe. Can I interrupt you? I have a hot take when it comes to Joe.
Okay yes please do. I am team Tom Schwartz when it comes to the you and Joe
dynamic. I mean listen I get you could have handled it better.
You could have said what I imagine,
not to put words in your mouth,
would be like the umpteenth time, 20th time, 30th time
that you were like, hey, listen,
this is what the situation is, here's what it's not.
We're friends, I'm not looking for a relationship.
And I just feel like, especially on this show,
we have a lot of people calling for relationship advice
and things like that.
And we're always reminding people,
like no one's gonna protect your emotions
and your feelings and your heart more than you.
And I think Joe is a classic case of someone
who ignores all the signs, knows what she's getting into,
conveniently will like ignore the red flags.
And I don't mean red flags
that you're necessarily demonstrating,
but like red flags about the relationship
or upfront expectations.
She had no prom going on TV.
We have to acknowledge this is a TV show.
She's willing to sign whatever.
She wants all the good stuff.
She doesn't want the bad stuff.
Even when she's on the episode,
she's like, and Tom, we said we love each other.
Like it's like, it was clear that she was trying to convince herself of something that maybe you said in passing. It's like, and Tom, we said we love each other. Like, it's like, it was clear that she was trying
to convince herself of something
that maybe you said in passing.
It's like, you know, and again,
I'm sure you could have said things or done things
to be a little bit more considerate of her.
I'm not saying you're completely off the hook,
but I just think in these types of situations,
we're so quick to just like chastise the person
in your position and think of all the reasons why you let her she let herself on I guess
Is what I'm saying
I think she needs to take some responsibility of that because I think a lot of people in her shoes will just
ignore all of the obvious red flags of why this isn't for them and and then will act as if like I
Can't believe they did this to me and it's just like it was so obvious all the time. That's my take
I don't know what you have to say. That's very just like, it was so obvious the whole time. That's my take.
I don't know what you have to say about that.
That's very valid.
But obviously there's nuance there.
And it's like, in hindsight,
what you're seeing in this season,
like in 2022 and like early 2023,
like we had some sort of magic brewing.
We had some lightning in a bottle.
We had undeniable chemistry.
See, when you say shit like that though,
that makes me feel like I shouldn't have said what I said.
Let's say we did.
And then some things happened,
which I'm not talking about publicly,
but they're very valid reasons
as to why I pulled away and had to distance myself.
But where I fucked up,
I should have just talked about it with her,
but it would have had to be a confrontation
if you knew what I was going to say.
And I just didn't have the energy to do it. I thought so I guess I sort of just passively,
respectfully pulled away. I still think, by the way, I don't want to tarnish. Joe's a great human.
I don't, I'm not going to tarnish her reputation. Also, by the way, the hair, the orange hair.
How was your scalp?
That's how I wanted it.
That alone was reason enough to dump her.
That's how I wanted it.
I wanted it to be orangish.
Why?
Why?
Why?
I thought it looked cool.
I think she is a great hairdresser.
I think I love the way she does her hair.
I like, I know, I think the bleach looked,
I think you pulled it off great.
I think definitely it could have been
a little bit more blonde.
So I don't think that's a her problem.
That's definitely your problem since you told her to stop.
And you definitely should not have,
I don't know why you said that.
But the orange was not a look.
But I do think the bleach looked good.
What did you guys think of the blonde era?
Love.
It was a good thing.
I did.
I thought it was a cool look.
Thank you.
Are we allowed to ask about this trip
that people keep referencing?
The four of you.
You, Joe. Do you, Joe, and Raquel.
Do you think Joe knew about Scandival?
Yes, but she,
honestly, she was oblivious.
She knew, but she was oblivious, if that makes sense.
I mean, she said that she, you know,
she thought Ariana and Tom were broken up.
She did, and well, according to Tom, they were breaking up.
We don't have to rehash that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We don't have time for that.
If we wanted to, we could, but yeah.
I think people are over-answered.
People are fatigued.
Truly.
Yeah, but no, I would like to leave on a high note with Jo.
She's a great human being,
and I really, really, really, really liked her.
But you know, it ran its course and. But that's kind of what I'm saying. And that's where, because I'm sure you would always say stuff like that to her. And it's like obvious to people like
us, you know, if we're friends sitting at the table, if I were friends with Joe, we are out
like at the bars, we're at, we're at Swartz and Sandy's and you're saying all, you know,
you're a great human being,
we have this undeniable like, chemistry.
I've been like, Joe, friend to friend, he doesn't like you.
You know, but like, and I think Joe's a smart enough person
to see all this.
Joe's watching this season back,
and self-aware Joe is just like, he doesn't like me.
There was moments in the haze of infatuation
where I think the lines got blurred,
and we're like, whoa, is this a relationship?
This is kind of awesome, but then every once in a while, I would snap out of it again and're like, well, is this a relationship? This is this is kind of awesome
But then every once in a while I would snap out of again be like, you know what?
I don't think I don't think I'm in any sort of position after coming out of a 13 relationship to be in a conventional
Relationship, you know, that might sound like a cop-out or like fuckboy speak, but it was true man
and and and then yeah also in the haze of
Infatuation there were some some things that I overlooked,
and I just realized that-
She's not your person.
The way you, yeah, the way you sometimes come
into a relationship is not conducive
to choosing the right life partner.
It's like, I don't know, man.
It was fun, though, and I'd like to leave it on a high note.
Yeah.
I see she's out there doing podcasts
and kind of leading into the role of a victim,
and I don't to invalidate her feelings
because they're very valid.
But it just, it sucks because I like people.
But she's also, that's my thing.
She's responsible for her feelings too.
Not just people she dates.
And I think she needs to look at her choices
of getting into this situation as well.
And again, not to say that you couldn't have done things
differently or better,
but like I think a lot of people in her shoes
will immediately ignore all the choices she made
or didn't make to get herself in the situation
and make it all your fault.
And I just don't think that's right.
Or the question she didn't wanna ask.
I feel like a lot of the times we do that
where we put it on the other person
because you didn't read our minds or be like,
this is what we want you to say,
but you didn't owe her anything.
She could have asked.
Y'all do have a really good banter with each other.
We had a great banter.
It's like, can these two feelings coexist?
Thinking someone's amazing,
but also knowing that they're not gonna be
a great life partner.
Absolutely, that's why you have best friends.
Not everyone's a lover.
Again, but she's just gonna pick and choose
what she wants to hear because of how she feels about you.
I mean, she likes you.
Yeah, and she's feeling the feels.
I know she's out there doing the podcast circuit,
but I don't like being perceived as the guy,
like the fuck boy who let her on, the gas lighter.
Did she tell you she was going on Raquel's?
No, she didn't tell me.
Did she call you a gas lighter?
Oh my God.
Oh no, the internet did. Oh, well, you know you didn't tell me. Did she call you a gasliner? Oh my God. Oh no, the internet did.
Oh, no, you didn't.
No, she didn't tell me.
We don't really talk anymore.
And I don't mean that.
You wish her well.
I wish her well.
I'm always rooting for Jo.
I think she's gonna find a lot of success
and she's gonna meet someone and fall madly in love.
But yeah, she's not for me.
But you know who is for you, Sophia.
Sophia.
Don't scare her away.
No, I really like her.
You really like her.
I really like her.
I wanna hang out with her.
I think she's so fun.
She's so out of my league.
She definitely is a little bit, but that's okay.
I'm gonna go with them.
Natalie, she's so out of my league.
Can we talk about Lala and her behavior?
Yeah, I actually would love to get in.
Recently.
Did she unfollow?
Yeah, she unfollow love to get a- Recently- Did she unfollow? Yeah.
She unfollowed Katie and Ariana.
Her reasoning is hysterical.
Have you heard about this?
We talked about this, Nick, it's so funny.
She said, I have 2.4 million followers.
And then it was like, following 227.
And it bothers me when that number isn't consistent.
So I went in to see who I could unfollow
and they were the two that I seemed not to be that interested
in following any longer.
But maybe when I go up to 2.5 or 2.6 million,
we can bring them back.
I mean, what is-
She's like, everyone follow me, follow me
if you want me to follow Katie and Ariana back.
You have to follow me first.
Yeah, do we test the theory?
Should Justin and I both just follow her and then see if she'll then follow Katie and Ariana back, you have to follow me first. Yeah, do we test the theory? Should Justin and I both just follow her
and then see if she'll then follow Katie and Ariana back?
Well, that won't get her to 2.5 or 2.6.
She has to have how many, we're not strong at math.
You haven't seen this household.
It won't be too singular, it'd be like,
be another 900,000, 999,000.
Lala like referenced her astrology sign.
She said she's a Virgo and I too,
Natalie is a Virgo and I can tell you
I've never once had a doubt about who I'm following.
Natalie can't even count.
Like let alone.
She can count.
I can.
On her fingers.
We have our own methods of counting.
Yeah.
You guys, how do you tell if someone's unfollowed you?
There's a note on their page
and it either says follow back or follow.
You would have to unfollow.
No, I have an app. I have an app.
I have an app.
Did Lala unfollow me?
You can also choose when you unfollow someone
to have them unfollow you, unbeknownst to them.
She follows me.
Okay.
Oh, thank God.
You're safe.
I think I'm closer than I've ever been with Lala.
I think here's, you know her.
I really don't that well.
I just think Lala finally woke up and was like,
you know what, Ariana's getting hers,
I'm not getting mine.
She hates the way that Vanderpump Nation didn't rally
around her during the Randall scandal or whatever at all.
And she sees what Ariana's getting,
Ariana's doing her thing.
And I think it's just, you know, as far as Lala goes,
I think at the end of the day,
it's just not show friends, it's show business.
And I think she is, I think this is all strategic.
I think this is about her making money
and feeding her family.
And I think she, I guess my question to you is,
is this one of those like self-fulfilling prophecies?
Like, is it all strategic with Lala?
You know, because I was talking to you over the weekend
and you made it seem like no, there seems to be real beef
between Katie and Lala and Ariana.
And because honestly from where I sit,
it seems like this is all just.
Performative.
Performative on Lala's part where she knows,
she knows how to make money, she knows how to hustle.
And like, because like that reasoning we just heard,
it's clearly ridiculous.
She's, you know, she's on this Amazon just heard, it's clearly ridiculous. She's,
you know, she's on this Amazon live collecting paychecks, making her announcements. Like
she's the messiest when she is getting paid. Yes. You know, yes. And when she's promoting
if it bleeds, it leads. Yeah. You know, you got to be a provocateur. I'm so sorry. What
is happening? I was getting comfortable with you guys.
We noticed.
That's how you know.
Guys, let him be himself.
That's how we get the real good stuff.
It was Natalie's reaction.
I'm so sorry.
You don't do the cricket when your feet are cold?
You and Safiya don't get your feet, your toes done?
Um, sometimes, yeah.
Yeah, that's true.
That's such a bitchy way of saying it.
You know she's been dating me.
He's from Florida. That's an interesting for her too.
How's your dynamic with Lala?
I mean, we had her on the show once.
She seemed to really enjoy it.
I haven't really talked to her since.
I love her.
You know, I'm a fan of her work and I'm still a fan.
I just think the way I read this objectively as a fan is that this seems from Lala's standpoint
that she is making up this drama with Ariana and Katy
because it serves her well.
And she is willing, she's got the chops in the backbone
to take up that fight and take on the haters
that want unconditional support to Ariana and she sees the dollar signs and she's willing to do it by the way
I think
Can I say this?
Being critical of Ariana is not the same thing as well
Anyone who's critical of Ariana lately is immediately
Labeled as being jealous or insecure.
I mean, I think it was her fault.
I don't think Tom tried to kill the dog.
I think she should throw away her food.
Yeah.
No, that.
You know, I don't think she gets to call dibs
on certain rooms that she doesn't want to sell the house.
That's getting messy,
but they have the lawyers handling it now.
So we'll have a resolution soon.
I think Lala is a ride or die friend.
I think she I do.
I think if she's cool with you and y'all are besties and good, I think she will ride
for you. I think she will die for you.
But the second you'll have like a little bit of haziness, a little bit of beef, you like
wanders. But doesn't that kind of negate the point of being a ride or die friend if she
leaves at the first sign of conflict?
I don't think she's ride or die at all.
I think she's in it for Lala.
And I, in prediction, because right now Lala, Sheena, they're kind of a pair.
They're kind of like thick as thieves.
They got their, they got their Palm Springs desert houses.
They're, they're, they're rearing their children together.
Yup.
They bought houses in the valley.
I predict.
I don't know when, I don't know how.
I suspect it's going to usually, I how, I suspect it's gonna usually gonna,
I suspect it's gonna be Lala,
but Sheena at some point is gonna fuck up.
She's gonna say something like,
that Sheena's just gonna be Sheena
and Lala's gonna turn on her at some point
when it's the right time.
Lala's gonna like suss it out.
I predict it in the future, she's just gonna turn on her.
Eventually Lala turns on everybody.
On this note, I'm shocked about how things unraveled
with Katie and Lala.
Right.
Say more.
I'm shocked.
Cause they were really tight.
It's not, nothing in the show is for show,
but like sometimes things are sensationalized,
but it's all very authentic.
But like Lala and Katie were really good friends.
What do you think happened?
I think Lala just got tired of her.
Shit. I'm on such good terms with Katie, so I want to be respectful. What do you think happened? I think Lola just got tired of her shit.
I'm on such good terms with Katie, so I want to be respectful.
But what's her shit?
Because from where I stand, and then again,
just as a fan, you know more than me.
Katie's just had Ari on his back.
She's actually been a ride or die.
She's like, you know, whether she's just been a friend
and she has been okay with the jobs and attention
and all the things that has come Ariana's way,
it seems like Katie has been like, hey, good for her.
I support her, I'm her friend.
And it seems like Lala had a certain amount of,
she was like, okay, I support, I support.
All right, that's just fucking enough.
All right, yeah.
That's perfectly, honestly, that's it, I support it. All right, that's just fucking enough. All right, yeah. That's perfectly, honestly,
that's perfectly summed up right there.
But I think Lala got a little dose of some of the stuff
I experienced with Katie, not to get too deep here,
because Katie's fucking awesome.
I'm not gonna bad mouth my beautiful ex-wife,
but she does demand unconditional loyalty.
When she's upset with someone,
she expects you to be upset with them too,
and to cut them out of your life. And I think, you know, that was something that always that's
that caused a lot of friction in our, our relationship. But she's mad at someone, let's
just say it's Stassi. And then maybe we're at the bar and I'm like, having a laugh with her,
like afterwards, come home, be like, why are you talking to her? You know, I'm mad at her. And then
it's like, turns into a week long argument anyways. I can hear you on that. And I get that, you know I'm mad at her, and then it turns into a week-long argument anyways. I can hear you on that, and I get that,
there's layers to those things,
but I guess when it comes to, for example,
looking at Lala and the Joe stuff,
it's like, why are you talking to Joe?
Yeah.
It's like, even Sandoval.
It's a classic case of-
There's one thing of having your friends back
and not getting in a fight with everyone
that your friends want you to fight you with,
I hear you on that, but the Joe stuff,
the stand of all things, to me,
this is Lala being like, you know what, let's get messy.
I'm gonna take a stand, I don't care what people say.
I think Lala's out there thinking
some people are sick of Ariana,
and those are the people I'm gonna get to support me.
Well, that's what's kinda hard to watch this past episode
where it was like you have her sitting with Ariana,
Ariana's like crying to her about wanting to get out of the house, all of that.
And then we smash cut to the interview
and she's like, fuck that bitch.
And you're just like, well, where did that come from?
Because I gotta say,
Ariana made a ton of sense in that scene
where even Ariana was like, listen, I get it,
you're right, your ladies are right, I do need to move on.
She was saying all the things we're thinking,
which is like, hey, listen, like I get it,
Tom fucked you over, it sucks,
I get it was your dream house, not you, standable.
But everyone has to move on at some point.
And here, Ariana was like, yeah, I get it.
But right now, it's just, I'm having a hard time processing.
And yeah, Lala's just like, I don't give a fuck.
I'm done with you, I'm over it, it's time to move on.
Lala decided when it was right for her.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, listen.
I don't wanna put parameters on when she should stop grieving.
She can grieve, feel all the feels, Ariana,
as long as she needs to.
However, given that she's thriving right now, she has an awesome boyfriend
and everything. I think some people are just like, okay, you're crushing life. Um, I think
some people are confused by some of the vindictiveness. Um, no, you talk about that.
They're seeing on the show right now. Yeah. Currently. Well, this is what we talked about
last reality recap. It's like, isn't this three, four months after it actually happened?
Like we're watching it still be so fresh.
Yeah.
We're expecting Ariana, to your point,
to be indifferent about Tom Sandoval five months
after all this.
That seems a little bit fast.
Yeah, yeah.
Nothing can prepare you for finding out
that your boyfriend of 10 years is having an affair
with one of your best
friends like under the same roof and everything. That being said, one thing that's not really
has been addressed is like Tom and Ariana were breaking up before that affair. It was just a
matter of time, but you know, it doesn't excuse what he did and he handled it literally the worst
flagrant possible way. But even now, guess, I think where Ariana is making sense
is that like her whole thing has been clear
that it's about her dream house,
and it was about like this is what she thought
her life would be, and we don't all have to understand it
or even agree with it.
I'm like I don't think I would be that like
married to her house.
I mean she is in 100% being petty
when she is suggesting that they have to give
the things they bought
together to an auction? Ridiculous. Like yeah there are areas in which she is
being petty, not getting over it, but I'm just saying like it makes sense why she's
upset whether I agree with her or I would handle it that way and it's only been a few
months and like I don't know I just why, why, I don't, it makes sense
that she's allowed to be upset.
It's completely warranted.
Yeah, I never question that.
Her feelings are fully valid.
I would be upset if I were her boyfriend
watching these episodes.
Yeah. Yeah, you care more
than I'd like you to care.
Yeah.
I think, honestly, the biggest thing
is just trying to keep that sub 3% mortgage rate right now.
Dude, nobody wants to go fucking sad.
You're so sad, yeah, you got rid of that.
Dude, going from like 2.98 to seven or 8% is a disaster.
You're doubling your mortgage essentially.
Truly.
So did you and Katie know y'all were hooking up
with the same, or making out?
I don't know what all you have,
what all you and Jory did now.
I'm telling you, I've been thrust into a parallel universe
and I'm okay with it now
But at first I was like a little startling was it yeah, like how did it come to this?
I don't I'm asking you. How did it come to this?
Tori's like a good friend of mine. It's more plutonium. We're just mostly it's platonic
We're buddies, but like her Katie kind of had a spark honestly
I was watching the make out and I was like no this this work
Did you guys talk about the Mac stuff which max max is my boy and we've, we've,
we shook hands. We always talk about it. No, I just call me off card. Um,
I just was like of all the, that was not on my, uh, 20, 23 bingo card.
I feel like Brock was a little bit more mad than you were. Yeah.
People were, uh, dude,
the reason I didn't really have much of a response is like after going through
truly life altering
traumatic experiences, like getting the divorce,
my dad almost dying for seven months in a row,
then my brother got cancer,
then Bert got a liver transplant,
and there's all kinds of other things
that I don't really talk about.
It was so insane that all the thing with Max,
it just seemed so-
Moniscule.
Inconsequential or trivial.
I was like, I laughed.
I mean, it was weird.
It was weird because we used to all hang out so much.
Like me, Max and Katie as a trio.
Can I say, if you were to be mad at anyone,
I think the only person you should be mad at is Max.
Yeah, well, he, dude, he mad up right away.
He hit me up.
We went to have lunch in the valley.
We went to, what's that place on the south side of Ventura.
Anyway, it doesn't matter,
but he's like, dude, I'm so sorry. Let me buy you lunch. He's like, I was drunk. Let me buy you lunch.
I love men. Like literally you guys are just like, hey, you fucked my ex-wife. We'll buy you lunch
and we're solid. He got me a few Moscow mules and we hugged it out and we laughed. He's like, dude.
But with that whole night when you were out, it seems like Sheena is the type of person who
likes locations and she likes secrets and she keeps
them in a pouch because those are her currency. Yeah. And then Brock is like, Mike, let me just tell you like put it all out there.
Yeah. Do you think that's kind of like a flaw in their relationship?
Are you saying do I think it's a red flag that she has? I just I think they're very different. Has X's.
Cause like Sheena was mad that Brock was so open with it and he's like, why wouldn't he know? Yeah. Um,
It's just like Sheena was mad that Brock was so open with it and he's like, why wouldn't he know?
Yeah.
By the way, I'm replaying that moment in my head
and I was fucking flabbergasted.
I don't know if it shows in the episode,
but I was like, Max?
No, I think you came off pretty shocked.
You were shocked.
Max, because they were like, they're like,
they're brother, sister.
It sounds like Max has really gotten around
in this friend group.
So Max is a playboy, but he does it with class.
What makes you angry?
Like when would Tom Schwartz just lose your shit
and be like, you know what, this is fucked up.
Fuck this, I'm not gonna find a way to like
justify it or explain it or downplay it.
Like, hey guys, it's all good.
Like what would be the situation where you would go,
motherfucker, fuck you, fuck you, I'm out.
You guys are pieces of fucking shit.
You're a whole fuck, fuck you, fuck, fuck, fucking motherfucker. You guys are pieces of fucking shit. You're a whole fuck, fuck you, fuck, fuck,
fucking motherfucker.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
What would it be?
What would you, because it's not your buddy
fucking your ex-wife.
It's not your best friend screwing you over.
Outing you.
And outing you and having you take the fall for his.
Destroying my reputation single-handedly.
Your professional career, your bar.
What is the thing that is to make you fucking snap?
I think hypothetically speaking, um,
I go into a bar and I'm at a bad day and I realized they don't have any
Patron and I'm just like, motherfucker, you don't have El Alto.
You don't have Cielo, no Bordeaux.
That's what it is.
You literally had Jack Jax throwing darts
at your relationship for multiple seasons.
And even when you sit down on the couch with him,
you were like, man, just stop screwing me over.
It wasn't like you actually angry.
Jax does not like Katie.
Have you guys talked about this?
I don't know if this is when, man, he hates Katie, man.
Because she calls him on on his bullshit.
Yeah.
They just, it's been like that since they, since I can.
If you were Katie, would you like Jax, given his.
Motorboat in a D?
That is a deep cut.
That is a deep cut.
I'm a day one.
Do you know the motorboat in the D reference?
Yeah, we watched it.
We're recapping.
We're all like, how do you even motorboat a D?
We're on season three episode.
Out at a club.
Season three episode 15.
Episode 15.
Oh shit.
We just watched Miami Girl.
Don Vowfiles Plus right now for anyone listening.
That was one of the best trips of my life.
Insane.
Me, Jax, and Tom had so much fun on that trip.
Do you guys have secrets?
I think there's a perception in your group
that you guys, you, Sandoval, Jax,
all trade on keeping each other's secrets.
And every once in a while there'd be an episode
where usually it's Jax who's just like,
well, I'm just gonna fucking tell you my truth.
And then you're like, well, I'm gonna fucking tell you this.
And then you guys decide to get together.
Which, don't fucking say that.
No, we don't conspire.
Well, what about what happened with Miami Girl?
Nobody, I still don't know the real truth of that. Doesn't that good. I bother you. Well, I don't I don't want to know
You're still friends with Jack. I don't want to know
Is that a man thing? Yeah, I don't like tell me everything. Yeah, I don't know if I don't know if Miami girl was ever a thing
But yeah that weekend was wild
Yeah, that's on I think that is such a man thing. Men like are fucking terrible at gossiping.
Truly.
Nick will be like, oh yeah, I talked to,
and I'm like, well, what happened?
Cause I don't care.
Oh, Sophia is teaching me to be such a better gossiper.
Okay.
Cause I used to be like, I don't know,
I wasn't really paying attention,
but now I'm dialed in, I'm listening.
I'm spilling the tea, I'm dishing the dirt.
That's what we need.
I'm getting better, dude.
Well, that's what you guys do.
You guys will tell us like one thing and we go,
so what did you ask next?
And then that was it. No, you guys do. You guys will tell us like one thing and we go, so what did you ask next? And that was it.
No, same with, same with like tech.
So I'd be like, well, what did they say?
And he's like, they just said it's cool.
And I'm like, they did not say that.
There was a paragraph.
He's like, well, basically it's like, it's cool.
Like, read me every single word.
Let's read between the lines.
Yeah.
Well, listen, we ran into Brock the other night.
We actually didn't run into him.
I fucked up.
Nick fucked up.
So we were at Tyler Cameron's premiere
for his going home with Tyler Cameron.
Love that guy.
And Brock was there, Sheena was not,
and we were waiting for our cars together,
and I was like, Nick, you should say something to Brock.
I don't think I should, but then I was like,
I don't know, I don't, see, it's cool with you, right?
You're a professional. I didn't even know that she know was upset with us until because Charlie came on said some shit and
Then all of a sudden I found out that Sheena and Brock were super mad at us
They sort of like dog, you know, it's fine and I I'm a fan of both of them
I mean, I think she knows a star the season. She's a she know Lala are
The stars of season 11. I concur.
They are.
I concur, I really do.
And we enjoy breaking it all down.
But I don't know, when I see them in public,
but Nellie was totally right.
Because when I see them in public,
I'm like, I don't know if they take this personally.
Obviously we've had some commentary on their performances.
So I just, I don't know if I should.
But Nellie was like, you fucking made it real
by not saying hi.
Like everything we say on this podcast,
we are not talking, again, we don't know any of your person.
We're covering a show.
We know you, we know Katie.
Money more in quarterback.
But we're talking about what we see on the show.
We're talking about Sheena on Vanderpump Rules.
We're not talking about Sheena.
Mother.
A mother of, yeah, yeah, yeah, like, yeah, exactly.
And so I feel like Nick not saying,
going up to Brock, I mean like, hey man, exactly. And so I feel like Nick not saying,
going up to Brock, being like, hey man,
like I know he has some like shit in the media,
but like we're cool, it's not that personal.
And he didn't because he felt so awkward and uncomfortable.
It was such an awkward setting.
I wasn't sure if Brock would be upset
because I didn't want to, I don't want to also come up to him
and be like, hey, I don't care if so you shouldn't care.
Cause maybe he does care.
So I don't really, I didn't really know how to play it.
But he is very forgiving. He's got a great perspective on life. I will say that. I don't care, so you shouldn't care, because maybe he does care. So I don't really, I didn't really know how to play it. But.
He is very forgiving.
He's got a great perspective on life, I will say that.
We should have, well, Brock and Sheena,
we'd love to have you on to discuss.
I would love to see Brock and Sheena on here.
Have they been on the show?
Sheena has. Sheena has before.
Have you thought about what makes you mad?
Oh yeah.
Okay, there was this one time, and I was so hungry,
and I was at Jimmy John's,
and I was like, dude, please just no mayonnaise.
And I get my sandwich, I get home, I open it up
and it was fucking slathered.
That is Nick.
No, in mayonnaise.
I would lose my fucking shit.
And I had the worst day of my life
and I just, all I wanted was my comfort sandwich
and that pissed me off.
You know what really pissed me off
and I feel real embarrassed because Nally's mom
saw me have a meltdown.
But I had to put one of River's new car seats in.
Here's the thing about being a new dad that I've learned.
Anytime you are dealing with a new toy or a new car seat
or a new stroller or something you haven't like
fucked with before, like it will ruin your fucking
mental health trying to figure it out.
Once you do, it kind of all makes sense,
but to figure out what you push in or pull out or,
and we were in a rush and we were already running late
and I'm trying to put this stroller or car seat
in the car and I'm just like shaking it
and I'm like, mother fuck shit, mother,
and Nellie's mom like, just let me do it.
And I'm like screaming at the stroller.
Did you snap?
Oh, absolutely snap.
She comes inside, she goes,
I don't think he can figure out the car seat.
Maybe you should help.
I was screaming at it.
She goes, just back away.
Does Nick have a dark side?
He has a very, like when he's-
Cranky.
I feel like you get cranky.
I don't picture you being mean,
but just cranky sometimes. He definitely gets grumpy, for sure. Grumpy, that's the word. Yes, he's like a cranky. I don't picture you being mean, but just cranky sometimes.
He definitely gets grumpy.
Grumpy, that's the word.
He's like a grumpy...
I don't picture you going on a fucking diatribe or yelling.
No, I'm a pretty even keel guy.
But when the Packers do something, when it's something like he is passionate about mayonnaise,
if that type of shit happens, he definitely does.
And I have to be like, you cannot do that.
That was an intense reaction to Manet.
Sometimes I lose my shit over the dumbest things
and the privacy of my home.
Yeah, he does.
But typically he's just a little grump.
I wanna watch the show about your guys' life.
You do? No.
No?
Should we join the Valley?
Join Vayner Pump Rules.
We live in the Valley.
Do you want this to work out?
Do you want it to work out? You guys are doomed.
That's true, that's true.
Together at the beginning, not so much by the season finale.
That's true.
On that note, it's like, I guess,
someone came to me the other day in the bar
or something like, you and Tom are the longest lasting couple
in Vanderpump Rules.
And I was like, I guess you're right.
Actually.
Yeah.
That is the only relationship that I think has survived
reality TV, television.
But I can't chalk it up to reality TV.
In the moment, it feels toxic.
But I think ultimately it is, it's cathartic
and it's therapeutic.
It's just that you sort of hash things out
on a condensed time scale.
You know what I mean?
But it feels like the dynamics of your relationship has changed.
As you grow up mature and also you guys
have made different decisions,
I feel like you're kind of now stepping out more so
out of the Tom Tom.
Yeah, yeah.
And now it's this is sports.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean.
Which we love to see by the way.
You seem like you're really trying to like
get them on the right path.
And like, that it was progress
when you left the pool party.
You're like, yeah, this isn't for me.
You know?
That was progress.
The optics of that were terrible.
Yeah, but I think Tom Schwartz of old
might have not said anything.
You would have reluctantly stayed there.
Yeah.
And you would have been in the vortex of,
you called his, I remember the first time at Tom's house,
you were pointing out the hot tub,
you were like, once I get in there, man,
I can never go out.
It's like, this is like a time vortex.
I'm like, it's just a hot tub, man.
Don't you like get too hot and get out?
Don't you get pruney?
You're like, no, man, I'm just like,
once I go in, I'm here all night, you know?
I'm proud to report that Mr. Tom Sandoval
is kind of thriving lately.
I'm so glad to hear that.
He's got a new girlfriend.
Do you like her?
Yes.
So it's not PR?
Yes, no it's not PR.
It's very real.
But yeah, she's lovely.
Her name's Victoria.
She's gorgeous and she's successful
and I think they have a pretty dang good dynamic.
But I imagine it's hard to date Tom Sandoval right now.
We joke around about this. Like when he was first,
when he first, after he broke up with Ariana, like as a shtick,
like the first thing he would say to people when he was meeting new women,
we didn't know who he was. He would be like, can you not Google me?
I, I believe that because that entire pool scene at that,
his house where he's like, yeah,
I live with my ex girlfriend of 10 years or whatever. And he's just going on and on and at his house where he's like, yeah, I live with my ex-girlfriend of 10 years
or whatever and he's just going on and on and on.
I was like, I think that is totally him playing into,
he's trolling them, he's like playing into this shtick.
I don't think if he was genuinely trying
to attract a girlfriend, he would do that shtick.
I think he would be normal.
I did that though after my divorce.
Like that was my opener.
Like not a trauma bond.
I don't, is that bad?
Why?
Did it work?
Did you ever get, did it work?
I just felt good to get it off my chest.
I felt like I was burying my soul
and wearing my heart on my sleeve.
How many women did you two have?
You wanted to judge yourself
before they had a chance to judge you first.
Exactly, Nick.
That's perfectly stated.
Yes, exactly.
Did you do that with Sophia?
A little bit. Do you think she's ready to have kids as much as you are?
Because you seem ready for fatherhood.
You're going to ruin this for me.
She literally ran out of here.
She didn't.
She was going to lay out.
Once you plugged her business, she's like, all right,
I'm good to go to the pool.
That's funny.
She said, make sure you spell it right.
She's like, you're not wrong, though.
She did dip out after that. Immediately. She's like, all're not wrong though. She did dip out after that.
So immediately she's like, all right, we're good.
Check, check, check.
No, what is the, listen, I'm in a good place right now.
It feels peaceful.
I'm at ease.
It's working.
It's working.
It is.
Minus you being in love,
but like you are ready for fatherhood.
You'll be even more ready when you meet River.
Can you cut that out of there?
That you're ready for fatherhood?
Yeah. You don't want to scare her. She's too, she's. The last time that out of there? That you're ready for fatherhood? Yeah.
You don't want to scare her.
She's, dude, she's...
The last time you were on our episode, all you were talking about is having kids.
I know.
Why do you...
I'm not gonna steal...
I don't want to steal her youth.
I don't think you should have to dim your light to impress a young lady, you know?
I'm 25.
I know.
And y'all are both...
How old is she?
She's about turn 24.
We met each other.
We just hit it off immediately.
Like instant chemistry. Now you're selling sandal met each other. We just hit it off immediately.
Like instant chemistry.
Now you're selling sandal ball.
Man, it was just the passion, man.
Dude, should we FaceTime Tom right now?
Can we?
Can we?
This is a bad idea.
No, it's not.
He'll be so happy.
He does love you, Nick, but he also hates you.
On a scale of one to two.
Then shoes comes out.
That was his fault.
Should it be you, actually? but he also hates you. On a scale of one to two.
That was his fault.
Should it be you actually?
You should say, where the fuck are you?
Where the fuck are you?
We got to get him.
So I sent him one of those video messages.
Yeah, we could send him a video.
Maybe he'll call back.
Let's see if he calls back.
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Listen, like, Patronulato has taken over the desert.
They have taken over the desert.
They are everywhere.
We were at Neon Carnival last night
and we got to meet Sophia and we have held her hostage
and forced her to join the wild house.
Welcome to the wild house.
We captured her at Neon Carnival.
We did.
And didn't let her out until now.
Yeah, she is held hostage, handcuffed.
Yeah.
We were like, hey, do you wanna go on one of these rides?
She's like, sure.
And then we put her in a bag and brought her into the studio.
Yeah. We went on the zipper though, bag and brought her into the studio. Yeah.
We went on the zipper though, it was really cool.
It was really cool.
Well, you'll actually, y'all rode rides?
Yeah.
Yeah, that's like my favorite part of Neon Carnival.
I love the zipper.
Well, let's say hi to Sophia.
Let's give her a round of applause.
Yay, Sophia.
State your full name.
No, just kidding.
State your social, your government name.
How many wisdom teeth have you had removed?
Both of them.
Oh.
All four.
All four.
All four.
All four.
Wait, that's a good question.
You count like Natalie.
We do compensate.
On a scale from one to 10,
how embarrassed are you to be hanging out with Tom Schwartz?
Well, obviously I'm not,
otherwise I wouldn't be here.
I know, why does he do that?
Can I give you some dating advice?
He's a little bit self-deprecating
because he's so humble, I feel like.
Self-deprecating's fine,
but you never wanna convince the person you're dating
that you're like, you know what, why am I?
Yeah, I feel like you ask to tell him that.
Eventually she is gonna be like, wait a second,
are you a total fucking loser?
You're great.
You gotta stop doing that.
You always wanna meet someone at first
and realize they have a sense of humor
that they can make fun of themselves,
but be careful.
Yeah.
Because come week, whenever.
He's like, I just have so much baggage.
So much.
Have you seen my baggage?
I have a lot of baggage.
She's like, no, yeah, you did.
Speaking of baggage, I have so much baggage.
Yeah, he just lays it out,
but in the most beautiful way, like transparent, you know?
So like, I feel like I know kind of
what I'm getting into with him.
Are you scared of the outside world?
Bravo Nation?
I feel like I'm just taking things very day by day,
but like, I don't know if I'm gonna do that.
She's like, I don't know if I'm gonna do it in a week.
No.
But no, I just like, I'm just taking things day by day
in that sense that like, also, I don't know,
I just don't really care that much about online hate,
but when it comes to people in person, that's when like-
Are people mean to you in person?
Not necessarily, but people are really crazy
with Tom in person, especially like when we've gone
on trips and stuff.
Just like very grabby with like reality stars.
I've never been around like that type of presence.
So it's very interesting.
Well, there was a time when I,
now that I first started hanging out and dating
and we were, and by we, I mean me,
I was more kind of keeping her a secret.
He was, he was not doing what you were doing, Dom.
And the fans would.
He was not putting me on a massive podcast.
Yeah, by the way, fans would come up
and ask to take a picture and hand Natalie their phone,
and Natalie was like, absolutely not.
Yeah.
Has that ever happened to you?
Yeah, and honestly I'm happy to take them
because as long as I don't have to be in them,
there's been a girl that pulled me into it and I'm just like girl. I just let just let me be please
I'm at the airport type stuff that I'd rather take it than be in it
So are you guys official? They're all official. Okay, like can we be like it's it's one of those things where we're almost
But I feel like you know, they're just like I just want to be in them make the most perfect place
You know, do you have some work to do, I just wanna be in the most perfect place, you know?
So you have some work to do.
I don't wanna put pressure on her.
You're taking it slow.
I like to be very, you know, at ease.
We enjoy our time together.
I can see it in your eyes that you're happy.
I am happy.
Yeah.
You can see it in his eyes through these glasses
that he won't take off, Tom Sandoval.
His soul seems lighter.
Thank you.
Talking to him over the weekend.
He died.
There was a, you know, when you get to our age in life,
you know, sometimes you worry
if you're ever gonna find the thing that you're looking for,
you know?
Oh my God.
And then you meet some lovely people and they're,
you know, you just feel a little lighter.
You feel like, you know what?
Look what we've done to these men.
No, look what, seriously, the age gap has done.
Look what we've done to them. You're, look what seriously the age gap has done.
You're welcome. We've made them.
And then Tom and I can be like, still got it.
Yeah.
I get defensive though.
I look online at the comments.
I don't look online anymore.
But that's like, they're like, I don't like when they strip away a woman's agency.
You know what I mean?
Like just like almost.
No, it is kind of amazing the amount of like the hypocrisy and the double standards all of a sudden it's just like,
you know, certain people don't know how to make decisions
for themselves or, you know, whole frontal lobe argument.
Sophia, what was that comment we laughed at the other day
on my Instagram?
It was like, I wish I was problematically young.
Yeah.
No, that was funny.
They called you problematically young?
Well, someone was just being like,
I wish I was the problematically young girlfriend.
Yeah.
Sorry.
Anyways.
Sorry.
No, you do kind of have like a pep in your step.
Thank you.
You kind of like skip around instead of like drag around.
That's how I feel.
Yeah.
I used to mope.
I was a big moper.
You did.
Yeah.
You're like, what's the point of going
to another wedding by myself?
You know, now it's like,
I might have a girl to go with me, you know?
Do you get fashion advice from her?
Because honestly, Nali's really upped my fashion game.
Have you, has she gotten you out of skinny jeans?
I'm really enjoying these green pants you have.
Thank you.
I'm still a fan of skinny jeans, but not too tight.
And open-toed shoes.
Yeah.
She has the sickest.
So she's a vintage clothing curator.
Her store is insane.
I'm telling you, if you can ever get the great pleasure
of going in and seeing it in person.
Where is it?
It's in West Hollywood.
I just like have a little showroom,
but yeah, I have a website, so shopsose.com.
Okay, yes.
Can you get us some vintage jeans?
Love, yeah.
And can we get them?
Wearing them to sleep highs.
Because he should be officially done
with skinny jeans, correct?
Yeah, I mean.
In the open-toed shoes, I feel like it's a bit alarming.
Well, that's just in general.
You should never show your toes in public.
It's in weather conditions,
but the sandals out in West Hollywood,
like that, that's when it's.
No, this is scaring me.
No, no, no, no, it's scaring me, actually.
But also, there's so many things that make him him,
you know, but I don't want to ever change him.
And that's open to choose.
Yeah, if that's what it takes.
Have you guys double dated with Tom and his girlfriend?
Not formally, but they're tight.
I'd say we hang out with them quite a bit.
You do.
What do you think of Victoria?
I think she's so sweet.
Is she sweet? Yeah.
Sophia, what are your top three favorite things about me?
Oh, yes, of course.
Actually, yeah, please tell us everything you love
about Tom Schwartz.
Only if you answer that back.
Yeah.
Then fair.
Okay.
Well, I feel like I always tell this to people
that I think he's probably the most generous
and kind person that I've ever met
in a way that he just makes me feel so thought of
in so many different ways,
just by not always with presence,
but he does show it with presence of it,
which is little cute, sentimental things
that just make me think that he's always thinking about me.
So incredibly sweet.
I didn't think you were gonna be earnest.
Wait, stop. Thank you.
So nice.
Wait, you thought she was gonna bullshit?
I thought she was gonna roast me. What? earnest. Thank you. Stop. So nice.
What you thought she was going to bullshit?
I thought she was going to roast me.
What?
No.
That was only one.
I was going to say one.
Okay.
So incredibly sweet.
So funny.
His humor is so hilarious to me.
Sometimes though.
Okay.
Stop it.
What is your problem?
Well, sometimes I take it too far.
We've talked about this.
Well, that's what initially attracted me to him because I thought he was obviously, besides
being so handsome, I thought he was really funny.
You're hyping me up right now.
You're blushing, you're turning red.
Technically that was three because she said so handsome.
So return the favor.
When I saw Sophia, first of all,
I had no interest in pursuing any sort of type of relationship.
When I saw her, it was like in those movies
and everything just sort of stood still.
Time slowed down and I was just like,
Okay, cheesy. That is so cheesy.
Okay, you're sweet.
Literally, I felt it.
Time slowed down and I was like, oh my God.
Who made the first move?
I did.
What did you say?
Well, it was one of my best friend's birthdays
and she wanted to go to Sir for her birthday
and then we found out that James Kennedy was playing
at Tom Tom later that
night. By the way, crush it at neon carnival last night. Big moment for him. Yeah. Yeah. So huge.
But we went there and then I just like randomly saw Tom and I was like, he's looking hot. So I
just told him. The best looking guy in Vanderpump. I don't think he doesn't get credit for this.
I simply just told him and that was it.
That's what I did to Nick too.
Yeah.
We didn't talk for a long time again.
He was kind of hard to catch to be honest.
Yeah, I was going through some shit.
I wanted to like go on a dinner date with him
and then he was just like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It never did?
No, it did.
Bitch.
No, no, okay.
We gave her the yeah, yeah, yeah.
Once we went on a dinner date,
like you couldn't get away from me.
It was game over.
It was like, here's the thing.
She's like, you're so good looking that it's almost,
you don't wanna be with the most beautiful human
on the planet.
I do.
It's like, it's a kind of intimidating.
It's a workload.
You think?
Yeah.
That's sweet.
That is sweet.
It's like, I'm fairly intimidated by her, to be honest.
Okay, so the first time you saw her, it was a movie Yeah, it was like a movie and a brief interaction
Interaction we exchanged numbers that we didn't talk about
But that night like I
First when I met him, I didn't ask for his number anything
I just wanted to say hi and then like he got me a drink and we talked a little bit
and I was like, okay, like he's really sweet.
And then, um.
You had an eight by 10 picture of me
that you wanted me to sign.
Oh, that's, that's a fun, that's actually.
Wait, y'all should actually clarify
because that would be a headline.
No, actually, your jokes.
Your jokes need to chill.
Like that one wasn't okay. That was a joke.
That is actually happened.
But did you frame it?
No, absolutely.
But yeah, so then after that he like got me a drink and then
some of my friends were leaving so I was like
okay, like I actually went to go say bye and I couldn't find him.
And then I was like let me take one more lap around.
Like actually I'm walking out the door leaving because I couldn't find him. And then he like, let me take one more lap around. Like actually I'm walking out the door leaving
because I couldn't find him and then he like
busts through the door, like walks in.
I went across the streets of the Bayou,
which is my favorite dive bar in West Hollywood
and I was with Kyle Chan and I told him
I just met the most beautiful human being
I've ever laid eyes on.
And you got nervous you had to leave.
And I was like, my God, but I had no intentions
of going back and Kyle was like,
he literally dragged me back to TomTom.
He dragged me.
You were afraid to go back to your own bar.
I know, I was.
Wow.
That's sweet.
And then, yeah, man.
But then when I saw him come back through, I was like, okay, well, this is a sign.
So I was like, can I get your number?
Or I was like, can I give you mine?
Because I didn't want to, you know, I was like, balls in your court.
And so I was literally, I gave him mine, walked out and then he called me as I was walking out and he was like, can balls in your court, right? And so I was literally, I gave him mine, walked out,
and then he called me as I was walking out
and he was like, can you please come back?
And so I came back.
That's cute.
The way I remembered it, I asked for your number,
but apparently that's not.
I mean, we can go with that, that's fine with me, but.
That's not what happened.
I had literally just made a declaration to the universe
that I was gonna be single for the next two or three.
And then the universe said.
Ha ha ha ha.
Just kidding.
Enter Sophia.
Have you met Ariana, Katy, Lala, or Sheena?
I've met Sheena, like twice.
I met Lala yesterday.
How was that?
It was good, she's really pretty.
Also at Neon?
Yeah.
Oh, awesome.
Really sweet.
And I've not really met Ariana or I actually ran into Katie once at a random bar
I told you about that you know yeah before the fact
Yeah, that's kind of random, but so I have met her but I like I yeah not in this time home wrecker
She was with her new man
Home wrecker. She was with her new man.
Oh.
Oh.
Yeah, you wrecked your own home.
Don't blame it on her.
Yeah.
Wait, I feel like you're kind of charming.
Really?
I mean, this is cute.
Am I right?
Yeah.
He's very charming.
Maybe a little.
Schwartz is not that bad, actually.
Maybe a little.
I have my moments.
That's sweet.
I gotta ease off on the self-deprecating stuff.
You do, you really do.
It's tired.
Yeah.
One day she's gonna wake up and she's like,
I think my boyfriend's a loser.
I don't know.
He keeps saying it over and over again.
He always does that with his bar.
Like he'll meet people and someone's like,
how's Schwartz and Sandy's or Tom Tom?
And he's like, you know.
And I'm like, that is like the worst way to like put out,
like it's such a good place.
And so many of my friends,
even the one I was talking about
that brought me to meet him basically,
she goes to Schwartz & Samy's all the time.
But yeah, no, I was just saying that
I know so many people that love it and he knows that.
So I don't know.
You know?
See, I wanna say something about the ladies we got today.
They bring still optimism in life.
You know, we're got older, got cynical
and they still give us a reason to believe,
you know what it is?
It was okay to still have hope in this world, you know?
We're curmudgeon. We do so much for them.
Yeah.
We're misanthropes.
We're fucking miserable.
I definitely got a little lighter and happier
after meeting Natalie for sure.
I was definitely a curmudgeoned kind of-
Dopey.
Dopey?
Oh!
Okay. Dopey? Fuckopey. Oh. Okay.
Dopey.
Fuck me now.
There we go.
No, but yeah, I feel like you put out that energy
when you're like, yeah, the bar is fucking high
because it's like terrible.
We had, it went through such a bad time.
But if you're like, yeah, it's amazing, we love it.
She actually was pivotal in helping me break free
of that mindset.
Sophia.
I was just like, I snapped out of it eventually.
And I just, yeah, now it's been so good lately.
We have new, we have new drinks coming, new food coming.
New ketchup coming.
New ketchup, obviously.
Not cherry ketchup.
New table lights maybe if people don't keep stealing them.
Yeah.
Oh no.
Are they cute?
Is that what people are stealing?
When I was at my honeymoon phase with the bar
and I was like, everything was so romantic
and before we had sunk a half million dollars each,
it's like, you know, in the early phases,
I was like, I'm gonna get these vintage shot glasses
that I curated all over the country, online.
I had 200 of them and everyone got stolen.
Oh no.
Literally everyone.
You said you like to take things slow
and you guys aren't official yet.
What's one thing you'd like to see Tom work on
for you guys to become a power couple?
Well, to be fair, I feel like there was a point
where I was kind of like, I don't know.
We've been seeing each other for a while now,
to be honest. What's a while?
We love a good timeline.
Yeah.
Well, we met last summer.
Oh, okay. Oh.
Okay, it's been a while.
Yeah, like almost a year now.
You're coming up on a year, yeah.
Yeah.
We didn't hang out for a few months, right? Yeah. He's like, he's been a while. Yeah, like almost a year now. A year coming up on a year, yeah. We didn't hang out for a few months, right?
Yeah.
He's like, he's getting his Joe timeline squared away.
Oh.
It's true.
No.
It's true.
No, we exchanged numbers that we never really
hung out for a while.
There was definitely, you know,
Nellie and I met and then I delayed things for a while.
10 months.
Who was counting?
10 months?
No.
Not her. 10 months. 10 months,? Ten months? No. Not her.
Ten months.
Ten months, three days, and 15 hours.
No, they're hard to catch, the older ones.
They are.
Like Pokemon, I always say.
They are.
Yeah.
She likes vintage.
Clearly.
She's got an old soul.
Do you know any of the cast from Summer House?
On that note, it's funny, by the way,
before I get to that, talking about the age gap,
I know it's like, if you're like,
well, she's very mature for her age,
you get the ultimate eye roll,
the collective eye roll from all women.
She's an old soul.
Yeah.
She's got an old soul.
What do you say?
I guess you just...
Nick and I were very much in the same parts of our lives.
We both wanted the same things,
even though I was 22 and he was 38, doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
But we were, no, we both wanted the same things in life.
So that's why it worked for us.
Yeah, we were aligned with our life goals.
Yeah.
And also like, it's your relationship.
So who gives a shit what everybody else is saying
from the outside perspective? Like they don't know. I think it's also becoming, so who gives a shit what everybody else is saying from the outside perspective?
They don't know.
I think it's also becoming more and more in vogue,
to be honest, because you have women mature faster than men.
It seems like a lot of the young guys out there
aren't dating quality.
Your options are, and now finally,
you got a guy with a little bit of money,
he's made all his mistakes, most of them at least.
It's like, I don't really know why people care.
I'm gonna be changing your diaper, no one else is. So it don't really know why people care. Like I'm going to be changing your diaper.
You know, no one else is.
So it's like, why do you care?
Shut the fuck up guys.
We're going to be like reminding them
of what pills they got to take.
Natalie Joy changes Beyonce's diapers.
Currently in which moment.
Change your daughter and Beyonce's diapers
at the same time.
She's my surrogate memory.
Cause like she has to,
I think I'm slowly turning C now by the way.
Oh no.
I think I'll, she's like, I'll bring something up.
She's like darling.
Is she on the do not resuscitate kind of like.
Darling, I've told you this five times.
Darling. Darling.
She's actually caretaker. Sweet, do you call her darling?
Yeah.
Wait, that's so sweet, I love that.
You, right now, I can tell,
I don't know if you guys have used the L word.
I don't know if you have,
but I feel like you have,
you, I can tell, I can't,
I have only, I just met you, Sophia,
but you have to try not to say it.
You have to try not to think it.
He's true, he's like,
All right, bye.
I'm fighting. Outside. I don't love you, he's stupid.. You do, he's like, all right, bye. I'm fine. Outside.
He's like, I don't love you, he's stupid.
I love you, he's just stupid.
No, outside he goes, baby.
And I was like, he just called her baby.
That's so sweet.
I don't want to scare her.
You keep saying that.
She's a terrible lady.
She's nodding, she's like, yeah, no.
No, we definitely love each other.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Say it, say it, say it.
Stay back, I love you.
Eek. Ha ha ha. This is safer. Tiffy is out. Yeah Say it say it say it back. I love you
Say with your chest say like you mean it. Okay, anyway
That was sweet. That was really sweet. I love this for y'all really and I feel like we could double date Yeah Yeah. You guys want to go to a double date? Yeah. Yeah.
Should we call Santa Blanca? Yeah. We need it for the bet.
No Victoria. We'd love the sneak attack for sure. He's in a Hamey.
He's actually being sarcastic. Yeah.
He's going to be pissed at me for doing this. Blame it on me. Okay.
Yeah. Give him another reason to hate him already.
Does he really want to come back and have a himself? I think so.
He'll never answer.
He might be traveling today.
Yeah, he's like so scared to answer face to face.
Does he know you're doing this right now?
No.
Okay.
He's a vampire.
I've been meaning to ask you guys though,
how do you feel like,
I don't know if anyone else has been inquiring,
which I'm sure everyone,
but how do you guys feel like
having a baby has changed you guys?
Oh my God, in the best way.
Oh my God, in the best way.
Yeah.
It has truly been like.
Why, you in the market?
I just, I mean, I think it's so amazing.
We know a guy.
I'm just so curious about you guys.
We know a guy who wants to be a dad real bad.
We asked him that earlier and he's like,
no, I don't want to answer, I don't want to scare her away.
Please, cut that out.
Yeah, I definitely need some time on that one.
We love it.
I mean, obviously for me,
it just gives you an incredible sense of purpose.
Everything I do is for my family.
I mean, you know, it really creates the feeling
of ride or dies, you know?
Yeah.
And we just like, snuggle with our baby.
I had the best this morning.
She-
She was in such a good mood.
We wake up.
She woke up and she's like,
ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
She was like smiling and talking so much.
I was so tired, but it's really hard.
It's impossible to be mad.
Yeah, I was telling, I don't remember who it was
that I was telling this to,
but you cannot be sad or depressed
because everything they do makes you smile.
And so you can't, I feel like it's impossible
to be in a bad mood because they just are like so pure.
They just have to react.
Because right now she's starting to laugh more
and have more personality.
It's really the best.
I feel that same way about my cat,
but like if it like physically came for me,
I can't even imagine, you know?
Oh my gosh, is he, is she?
My cat is like a little Siberian, like fluffy princess.
I love her so much.
And like I know like when I have a kid,
like it's gonna be times literally a million.
It will be.
Yeah, yeah, it will be.
Have you met this cat?
Oh, me and Mila are so tight.
Were you a cat person before?
She doesn't like everybody too,
so it's extra special when she accepts you.
Yeah.
What do you think of Gordo's and Butter?
They're really cute and sweet.
She doesn't like women.
She doesn't.
They're really cute.
No. Honestly, I love my cat so much. She's just so quiet and sweet. She doesn't like when they. She doesn't. They're really cute.
No.
Honestly, I love my cat so much.
She's just so quiet and fluffy.
My dogs fart.
My dogs fart on her and they hump her
and she doesn't love that.
But they're really sweet and I love dogs so much.
So I would never dislike a dog.
They do fart a lot.
You need to get that under control.
They walk over to me just to do it.
Like it's a sign of retaliation.
Casey didn't do it.
Is that Katie?
Katie whispers in her ear.
When she has, when it's their weekend.
She teaches them to fart on any woman that they've ever met.
I think Katie's actually at peace with Sophia.
She said something really nice about you.
What she said? She said that you're beautiful and she's like,
whoa, how'd you do that?
That's so sweet.
That is sweet.
Well, you know we're huge Katie fans here.
Yeah.
At the Vile Vile.
So am I.
I love Katie.
She's great.
Yeah.
You're great.
We're friends again.
I love that.
I thought you guys were able to work through everything
and become friends again.
Do you know anyone on the cast of Summer House?
Should we keep talking?
Who do you know from the Summer House cast?
Really tight with Kyle, really tight with Amanda.
They're probably my favorite couple on reality TV.
I know they're not perfect.
They seem to be struggling.
I think they're perfectly imperfect.
And I don't know what the future holds for them,
but I just really fucking love Kyle and Amanda.
I'm tight with Carl, tight with Paige, Craig.
Sarah.
Wait, so Paige and Craig,
or Amanda and Kyle over Paige and Craig?
I just, I like, I know it's messy and complicated,
but I just like their dynamic.
I'm a big fan of Kaymanda.
What do you love about their dynamic?
Do you think Kyle should stop going out
till four in the morning?
I think he does that sporadically,
and part of it is for his business.
You know, he's still building his brand, Loverboy.
And yeah, I think, dude, I know this about Kyle.
He is a well-balanced human being.
He comes off as like this fratty, over-the-top, like, you know, rager, but he's really well-balanced.
And when you hear him talk about his business, the guy's dialed and he knows exactly what he's talking about.
And yeah, man.
Where do you stand on the Carl Lindsay breakup?
Wow.
I think I would have to be more pro Carl.
But I'm friends with Lindsay too,
but I don't wanna be mean.
I just, after hearing both of their stories.
We had Lindsay on and we love Lindsay.
This is the shit I just I for some reason I sympathized more with Karl.
I don't know. But after yet, it's it's been harder to sympathize
with Lindsay after watching the season.
Yes, yes. I concur.
But I still she's my girl.
Like we hang out when I'm in New York.
I don't want to talk trash about her, but yeah, I don't know.
I'm a sucker for Karl.
OK, yeah.
Anything we want to get into? Yeah, I'm a sucker for Carl. Okay. Yeah.
Anything we wanna get into?
Yeah, I'm just getting warmed up.
All right, say something bombshell,
drop something juicy real quick.
How juicy?
Really juicy.
Do you think men crossing their legs is an ick?
Yeah, there we go.
We'll wrap with that.
People need to chill with the icks.
Not everything's an ick.
I couldn't agree more.
It was all fun and games.
You guys are making us men self-conscious.
Yeah.
Every little thing we do is the chance to turn you ladies off.
You know, so many things that men do.
Maybe that's always been the case and we just finally realized that.
We don't need to even...
You're already turned off.
It's a laundry list.
Yeah.
Is crossing your legs an ick for men?
I will say both of you had your legs crossed.
I crossed my legs.
During this episode.
All the time.
This is my-
It's not an egg.
Well, who said it's because you're secure with your sexuality?
Which one do we prefer?
Is it the ankle over the knee or is it the full?
I definitely prefer Tom's method, no offense.
None taken.
The hobbit or the model.
Like there's something about it that has got to be a little-
I do both.
Yeah.
Easy going man.
This is locked in.
Wait, I feel like in closing.
So am I confident in my sexuality or am I not?
You are.
It's still good.
I will say with boots,
you have to have your knees like down further.
So what Nick's doing right now, visually.
Visually.
I don't know.
You've got nothing juicy to spill.
We FaceTime Tom again.
Oh my God. He hates us. All right, Tom, Sally, I think it's've got nothing juicy to spill. We FaceTime Tom again? Oh my God, he hates us.
All right, Tom, Sally, I think it's time
to say goodbye to you, at least to our audience.
Yeah. Yeah.
This has been nice.
It has been nice.
Thank you for coming on and trusting us
with this relationship and congratulations to love.
Thank you guys so much for having me.
It was lovely meeting you guys.
It was lovely meeting to know you.
Yeah.
Should we do one last final cheers
with our friends at Patron?
Cheers.
Thank you Patron.
Cheers to an amazing weekend.
May we only go to Coachella with Patron
for the rest of our lives.
May we only drink Patron for the rest of our lives.
It is time for us to say goodbye.
We are back on Thursday for another episode of Going Deeper.
Don't forget to send your questions
at asknickatthevilefiles.com for all things Ask Nick,
texting office hours, you know the drill.
Tommy, you wanna say any final thoughts?
Ah, it's nice to be here.
Nice to have you.
Was this a less stressful experience in your first year?
This is one of the best trips of my entire life.
I'm on cloud nine right now.
I got a belly full of El Alto.
And a heart full of love.
Things are looking up.
Things are looking up. Things are looking up.
All right.
I'm not a basket case anymore.
Yay, good to hear.
It's nice what love will do to you, man.
Just embrace it.
Just say you're in love.
Just gonna say hi, I'm Tom Schwartz,
and I am in love.
All right, bye. you