The Viall Files - E739 Reality Roundup, Sperm Donor Profiles, VPR Drama + GD with Alex Warren

Episode Date: April 25, 2024

Welcome back to The Viall Files: Going Deeper Edition! To start things out, the household gets together to talk about recent headlines - such as Nick and Natalie’s first Valentine’s Day together, Lala Kent’s sperm donor party, Rachel Leviss commenting on Tom Sandoval, Scheana working a shift at Chili’s, and Ally and James performing together.  Then, we talk to Alex Warren about his life - from losing his parents, to living in a car, being shot, meeting his now fiancée, and creating music. We also get to ask him about the Hype House era, and where he sees the future of TikTok influencers going. We also have a Texting Office Hours caller whose boyfriend recently told her he was moving away from where they live - she isn’t sure if they should try long distance or if this is the end of their relationship.  “You have to find something else that’s your passion.”  Start your 7 Day Free Trial of Viall Files + here: https://viallfiles.supportingcast.fm/  Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to [e-mail] to be a part of our Monday episodes. Listen To Disrespectfully now! Listen on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/disrespectfully/id1516710301 Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0J6DW1KeDX6SpoVEuQpl7z?si=c35995a56b8d4038 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCh8MqSsiGkfJcWhkan0D0w To Order Nick’s Book Go To: http://www.viallfiles.com  If you would like to get some texting advice on Office Hours send an email to [e-mail] with “Texting Office Hours” in the subject line! To advertise on the show, contact [e-mail] or visit https://www.advertisecast.com/TheViallFiles  THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: Altoids - Find Altoids in the check out aisle. Grab your tin today!  Vessi Footwear - Elevate your summer activities with Vessi’s StormBurst and Weekend shoes. Discover more at https://www.vessi.com/VIALL and get an automatic 15% off your first purchase at checkout.  Papaya - Go to https://www.PapayaReusables.com and take 30% off sitewide with code VIALL Sundays For Dogs - Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to https://www.sundaysfordogs.com/VIALL or use code VIALL at checkout. Brooklinen - There’s no better time to shop Brooklinen’s home essentials than now, during their 10 Year Anniversary Sale. Shop 25% off sitewide and up to 45% off bundles, in-store and online at https://www.Brooklinen.com  Episode Socials: @viallfiles @nickviall @alexwaarren @nnataliejjoy @ciaracrobinson @alison.vandam @dereklanerussell @leahgsilberstein @justinkaphillips  Timestamps: 00:00 - Intro 11:01 - Nick and Natalie’s First Valentine’s Day 24:50 - Lala’s Sperm Donor 36:14 - Rachel Leviss 43:43 - Scheana at Chili’s 48:24 - James and Ally 57:44 - Alex Warren Interview Begins 01:04:01 - Family Life 01:07:11 - Love In A Car 01:10:26 - Hype House 01:23:28 - Music and JoJo Siwa Lore 01:54:32 - Texting Office Hours 02:25:09 - Outro 

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Joined by the household, we got Scooter, Sweetboy, Justin, Ali, and Sierra with us today. Yay! Hey! Hey! We had a fantastic episode lined up for you. We got the one and only Alex Warren in studio today. Very excited for you to hear that conversation with Alex. What a fantastic story that man has.

Like really just a man was shot, lived in a car, was making music. It's a very, really interesting. Super talented. He's a very talented guy. He's only 23. He's only 23. He's another sweet with shot, lived in a car, making music. It's a very, really interesting. He's super talented. He's a very talented guy. He's only 23. He's only 23. He's another sweet, sweet boy.

Yeah. Getting married. Getting married, yeah. He's really accomplished a lot in a little bit of time, but don't want to give too much away, obviously, because there's a whole episode of Busker to Know Alex. We are excited for you to get to know him as well. But before we do, we got slots to talk about,

as always is the case, when it comes to know him as well. But before we do, we got slots to talk about, as always is the case when it comes to our reality recap episodes. I mean, it's like, they're always so long, and yet you'd be surprised. I always feel like we get done talking, and we're always like, fuck, man, we didn't get, there's so much we didn't get to talk about, you know? We didn't get to talk about Lala's donor party.

Was it, what was it called? How'd she call it? What'd she call it? Sperm. Sperm donor party about Lala's donor party. Was it, what was it called? How'd she call it? What'd she call it? Sperm. Sperm donor party. Sperm donor party where they basically selected. Her sperm. Her sperm.

Her sperm donor. Yeah, you know, on the valley, they were talking about most embarrassing dates. So much to get into. Poop. Poop, they were talking, yeah. Allie's favorite, you know. So we love that.

So we're gonna call this our new segment on going deeper, our reality roundup. Love it. Yeah, so going forward, everything we don't get to talk about on Reality Recap, you'll get a little bit more on our Going Deepers episodes. Are Going Deepers episodes? Going Deeper episodes.

So if you tell your friends, so you can't listen to Reality Recap without listening to Going Deeper now. Now it's a No, sorry. Now it's a two-parter. That's a two-parter. Going forward, it will always be a two-parter. You're slowly becoming more of a cowboy. So we had the boots, then we had the finger guns, now we have like the roundup, the lasso.

Did I do that? No, I did it. But like roundup, you round them up, right? I have noticed I've done the guns, which people are telling me I'm channeling Lala. Yep, well I called you out for that. It does seem natural. I do kind of like... It's because we were channeling Lala. Yep. Well, I called you out for that. It does seem natural. I do kind of like, I-

It's because we were talking about Lala's, what was the word that she was always saying? Disengage. Disengage. Disengage. But does Lala not do that? She does. And then I noticed that you could- Yeah, someone called me out for it,

but I kind of like it. It's like, and I- It's because you're on that side of the gun. I was like, you're on the receiving end. Sarah's over here being like- Is it aggressive? Am I always like, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. Should I not do that? I like it. No, you're on the receiving end. Is it aggressive? Am I always like, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. Should I not do that?

I like it. No, you're fine. Am I, do I have to give, is it because of Lala? Showing your passion for what you're talking about. I don't feel like, I've never seen Lala do it, but I started doing it and I kinda like it. Disengage. Well, that I hate, I will never say disengage.

As long as it doesn't accompany the words disengage, I say finger gun all day long. Motherfucking soft disengage bitch. Right, so don't do that. Don't do that? What would be my, what would be my, what would be my Lala Kent name? Like if I'm Nick from Wisconsin and she's Lauren from Utah.

NeNe? What? Nick from Wisconsin. NeNe? Okay, Neini leaks. Nana? Nini from Wisconsin. That doesn't sound hard.

Not that Lala sounds hard, but Lala... Lala sounds hard. Yeah. What's the short end of Nick is Nicky, right? They make it longer. Lala. Nicky V. Nicky V.

From the streets. Nicky V. Is that Nick's new nickname? Nicky V. Nicky V from the streets. I've been Nicky V to France. That has been a nickname, Nicky V. Nicky V. Nicky V. Much cooler than the Nicky V show, Vile Files.

I think I'm gonna stick with NeNe. I like NeNe. I like it. Going forward, all right. Nicknames, they're things of fun. All right, I'll forever be NeNe. I do, but I don't. Wait, what's your nickname? Apparently Sheena. Oh, right. forever be Nini. I do, but I don't. Wait, what's your nickname?

Apparently Sheena. Oh, right. From whom? You. For you. Oh, yeah, that's just a Freudian slip. I don't have any. I can't love that you remind me of Sheena.

A Freudian slip that happens like three times in a row. Nick was offended for you. It's okay, I'm creating storylines, okay? I forgot about that until now, Sheena. So, have you ever had a nickname though? Cece, but that's. CC's cute. Yeah, my first name's Sierra,

my middle name's Simone, spelled with a C so it's pretty, pretty tilted. Did you know that Nali and I will have the same initials? How easy for monogramming. I love that for you. NJV.

Oh, well there you go. Answer my question. There you go. NJ, what's your middle name? Joseph. Joseph. Joseph. Joseph.

Yeah. They didn't know that. So I can get like NJV tattooed to my body and it'll be like, is it for my wife or is it for me? Right. Kind of like how Sheena has pictures of herself all over the house. Self-love.

Self-love. Self-love. Self-love that comes for two. Yeah. We're here for it. That's true. That's true. Do people share the initials with their sperm donors? Excuse me? What? I was trying to transition.

Well, that was rough. You guys are obsessed with the transition. You could just be like, you know what we should talk about now? You know what we should talk about now is embarrassing first, what is it? Know what we should talk about now? You know what we should talk about now is embarrassing first date, what is it? Know what we should talk about now? The most embarrassing thing you've ever done on a date.

So in the Valley, they had girls night and they were playing truth or dare. And I thought this was a really fun conversation and I think we should play it here. So what was the first, what was the most embarrassing thing you've ever done on a date? Well then you start? Anyone can start. I can start.

Note to anybody that's going on a first date, don't get vegetarian sushi. The reason I say that is because they take out the fish, they fill it with more vegetables, AKA it's harder to even eat. I choked on vegetarian sushi on a first date. Literally like almost needed the Heimlich remover. The whole time I was like maneuver and removed and maneuver

He said remove I needed it removed. I need it removed and the whole for five minutes. He was looking at me. I was like Like I could even talk I was like For five minutes. He just sat there and waited dang near like five minutes I thought I was dying and then I just gave up. I didn't eat the rest of the plate I was like, I can't eat this that's not that embarrassing. It. I thought I was dying. And then I just gave up. I didn't eat the rest of the plate. I was like, I can't eat this. That's not that embarrassing. It was...

I think I've said this before, but why is it that, like, choking and falling are embarrassing? It's either embarrassing or, like, the funniest thing ever. I think it depends if you laugh. It depends how you react, right? If you get hurt, it's not so funny. But, like, when people, like, fall and start laughing, I love it. I love it.

For me, the sushi was embarrassing because he was vegan or vegetarian and I wasn't, so I was trying to be cool. I was like, no, I can eat like you do. Oh, you ordered for him. Yeah, and then I almost died. So, that's when I learned not to do that. Did you make a sexual joke? Probably.

I couldn't even talk, so I was choking. Sorry, I'm used to eating meat, you know? Not sushi. So I choke a lot. This is gonna happen. Yeah, you could have done that. That's not that embarrassing though. Yeah.

I'm like trying to think, I was like embarrassing moments. I was like, not really. I haven't gotten a lot of dates though, like first dates, not- It doesn't need to be a first date. I mean, like there was one time when I tried to get out of a bad date and he clearly knew, we went out to eat and then we went back to his house

and we were smoking and we got in this hammock and there's just this moment of clarity that was like, I no longer want to be here anymore. And so I did the whole fake a phone call and being like, oh, my apartment's flooding, I have to leave. And he's like, is that really what you're gonna do right now? And it was like- You're called out

Yeah, cuz I've been there too, but I just opted out for that I'm gonna go what did you do? Did you like dig your hole deeper? I committed to the bit I was like, um, no, seriously, like I have to leave right now and he was just like, oh, no, okay That's cool. That's cool. We didn't talk or like, there wasn't a follow-up date or anything, but I was happy about that. So. Respect him for calling you out though. Kind of bold. Yeah, it is bold.

It is bold. Listen. But you said your house was flooding. I felt like my apartment was flooding or something. I'm like, who knows? Maybe I said like, my friend needed my help, whatever it was. It was like, I need to leave right now.

What was so bad about it that you had to leave? You know, like, I don't know, like when dates are kind of neutral to begin with, and then like as you start like unpacking the layers, like maybe the date should have ended at dinner, but instead he lived around the corner, wanted to smoke, so it was like, okay, we can like hang out. And like as he was talking, as the vibes were like,

it was setting in very much like, we are not, we're not compatible. Oh, he picked, did he pick the place and it was around the corner? And it was around the corner. So it was also like, yeah, thank you. How old were you? Up like 21. Was it a college town?

No, it was Los Angeles. Larchmont Village to be exact. I'm sorry if you listen to this podcast. It wasn't you, it was me. Nick, did you think of one? I have to operate under the BN rule. What's that? I'm just like, what, it's on fart during sex?

Like what? Before Natalie. Oh. Which is, I've been instructed that that doesn't exist. Oh, she's invoked her, your fifth amendment. Is there a funny date story of Natalie? She won't murder you for telling us. No.

Because I know that you don't bring your phone out on dates sometimes. Yeah, and you played hard to get in the beginning. So I'm like, I feel like there had to have been. Embarrassing? Did you try, I feel like she calls you out a lot too. So I'm like, did you try a move? That like, she was like, what is that?

I know, one time beforeali and I were official, this is when we rendezvoused, like either in LA or New York. And this one time she was supposed to come to LA and then GMA like called me up, they reached out to my people and it was Valentine's Day coming up. And so they wanted to do like some sort of bit with me and Valentine's Day.

And I gave relationship advice and as the former bachelor and blah, blah, blah. So like, I did like, it was like a, it was like win a date with me kind of thing on GMA. And like it's GMA. So like, yeah, okay, I'll come over and be on the show, whatever. And so now I was supposed to come out that weekend.

So I reached out to GMA and this is again, we're not boyfriend and girlfriend. I'm like, so I have a, well, this was kind of embarrassing. I was very cagey about like the relationship, you know, but I was like, I had bought Natalie's plane ticket out to LA and I was like, well, and I really wanted to see Natalie and I didn't want to cancel on Natalie's.

So I was like, well, I have a friend that's supposed to come out. Like, would you, can you fly them to New York? And they're like, sure, no problem. So then I had to give them Nally's information, which I was a little reluctant to do. But I was like, my friend's coming. And I was very selling it as a friend.

So they booked a room with two double beds. Oh my God. Uh-huh. Wait, for both of you guys? For both of us. But it was because of me, because I was like, yeah, my friend's coming and yada, yada, yada, and they didn't want to presume.

And then like, Nali came with me to GMA and she's sitting in the green room and I just felt like really kind of embarrassed and awkward because like, this is your friend. And then we had to like get a different hotel room with one bed. So that was all kind of weird. And then Nali had to sit and wait while I like,

the winner of the show, like literally won a date. And it was just like out for breakfast with the producers and me. And it was like a friendly like, band conversation and it wasn't really a date. If Nellie was here and told the stories, you would hear a much more colorful. She was set up.

I'm sure she'd be like, I walk into the room and there are two beds. And Nick brought me on a fucking date with someone else, like yeah, for Valentine's Day. And she's like, you know how my first Valentine's Day was fucking Nick? I was watching him go on another fucking date. I'm like, do you know what I mean?

Well, you guys did something else for Valentine's Day, right? Like you and Natalie? That day? Yeah. Well. Oh, oh no. Keep in mind, this is early in the relationship

and I'm just like not sure if I wanna like, I don't know if I can date and I'm very. Blew her out to New York, but like can't do a Valentine's day because she might get the wrong idea. I don't wanna like, you know, like give her the wrong impression, you know? Like I didn't wanna lead her on. I didn't wanna lead her on.

Two double beds, one for me and one for this woman that wins the... I'm just saying, when you're in that situation, and I understand, I have reasons to criticize me and yada yada, it's been well documented, my and Nellie's first 10 months of our relationship, and I'm dumb and stupid and she's the best and I'm the worst, I get it.

However, like yeah, you have to choose between like, yeah. It was Valentine's Day, we weren't in a relationship. I wasn't trying to give her false expectations. And yes, it's easy to make fun of me now because we're together and we have a kid and we're getting married. But at the time, no, I didn't want to like do the thing like what sets up like someone like Joe, when you're a Tom Schwartz,

and he's just like, I love you, man. I wasn't saying I love you in a way that could be misinterpreted. It's like that middle ground that we say because we don't want him giving a shit. We don't want him putting that awkward situation. So yeah, I'm the asshole. But on Valentine, we were hanging out that weekend.

I didn't even want to, you know, I wanted to see her. But like- Did you throw in an occasional bro just to like- No. Keep it. Probably. A fist bump. Probably, I've definitely-

Love you, man. I probably pat her on the head and call her buddy. For sure. But nah, what are you gonna do, you know? Because when you're in those kind of like hookup situations where it's unclear and feelings are involved and it's a little cloudy, like sometimes you know, because when you're in those kind of like hookup situations where it's unclear and feelings are involved and it's a little cloudy, like sometimes you're gonna, you know, be the bad guy. Otherwise you get sworched. I'm just saying. Otherwise you get called out for leading them on and you know, yada yada. Nally can never accuse me of leading her on in those nine or 10 months.

She can. She is able to say a lot of other things and she does, you know. Especially now that we're together and getting married. You gave her a storyline, it's cute. A Valentine storyline. That was her first Valentine's day, watching her and watching me go on a date with someone else. So, yay for me.

That was a good one. Do you wanna share one, Leah? I have a few, cause I do things stupid all the time. I'd say the first time Danny and I hung out, we were teenagers, obviously, so I was not allowed to drive him yet. And so I broke the rules and drove him anyway. And then we were making out in the car, and then I left the headlights on and the car off so my car died And then I had to call my parents and he had to call his and that's when everyone met each other for the first time

Wait, where were you on the side of a road somewhere? Your parents like what were you doing? You're like they were giving him head Happy that's the first and only time I ever got grounded. They, you rolled right there. That's the only time you ever got grounded. What was your parents' form of punishment? I really didn't get into trouble that much, but I would say like, just don't do it again.

That was my punishment. Don't do it again. Oh, that's nice. I mean, you turned out. You turned out. Yeah, but that's the one time I got grounded and me being grounded was they took my phone away for like 10 minutes and then they like would give it back

to me every time I left the house. How old were you when you got a phone, like a smartphone? When I got a smartphone, is a BlackBerry a smartphone? No, right? Yes. Yes. Is it? Yes. You very much typed on that.

That would be the first type of smartphone. Yeah. It didn't have internet, did it? It sure did. I think it did. Okay, so I got a Blackberry when I was in 11, uh, 17, 16 or 17? Yeah, it had limited apps, but not apps like you do now. But it was, that was a smartphone for sure.

You could definitely. I think I got, I got an iPhone when I was 18. That was your first phone? No, no, that was like my first iPhone. Got you. Yeah. What about you? I got my first phone in junior high. I was in sixth grade, but it just had like numbers on it.

No texting. I got the Nokia brick. The Nokia brick. Freshman year of college. And I was the first of my friends. $25 a month, 100 minutes a month on limited nights and weekends. Was it a flip phone?

No, it was the Nokia with snake. Yeah, you could have the mix, different covers you could put on, you know. Wait, hold your hand up as if you're answering a phone call. What? Oh, he's a Gen Z. He's an eye-potty. He's Gen Z.

What's this? Gen Z does that, because they don't, like they don't do this, they go like this. Yeah, there's like a trend where they ask people in different generations, like how do you answer a phone, and people who are like millennials and up would go like this. Which I do as a Gen Z.

I do. Yeah, but I took that literally. I thought about holding a phone. You thought too much? You're correct. The answer is correct. But if you were like, how do you make the, like what's the international like hand signal

for like being on the phone? I would definitely do this. Okay. You know, when you're like have the earbuds on and people are like think you're talking, you're like, is it nobody? And they're like trying to talk to you. And you go, you know, I would do this. You know when you're like have the earbuds on and people are like think you're talking and you're like, is it nobody? And they're like talking to you and you go, I would do this, I wouldn't go like this.

Does Gen Z do that? Gen Z goes like this. I don't know. My little sister does that. She'll go like, I'm on the phone. And she'll hold, she's like holding a ball? Well, yeah, I guess. Why?

Why does Gen Z do that? Because they grew up with a phone. An iPad. An iPhone. An iPad. When you say you're on the phone, aren't you holding a phone? Yeah, but when people go like this,

it's because there was never a phone. But this is a landline, right? So that's why it's like you pick it up and hold it versus now it's just the phone. People never picked it up. When are you ever motioning to someone that you're on the phone if you're not actually on the phone? What do you mean?

No, you are on the phone. So then wouldn't you be holding a phone? No, but you might have earbuds on. Oh, I see what you're not actually on the phone. What do you mean? No, you are on the phone. So then wouldn't you be holding a phone? No, but you might have earbuds on. Oh, I see what you're saying. I would just point to the AirPods. I was gonna say I'd just point. I would just be like, get off. Okay.

You know what this is giving? Like, where's the check? Can I get the check? I do that. Do you do that? Yeah. You just go like this? If I can get the-

Do you whip it? Yeah. Now I'm thinking too much about it. Do you whisper too? I'm gonna check. Oh, you do the writing? Yeah. Wait, is this wrong?

I just like check, I just say it. You just yell it? You just yell out in the middle of a restaurant? I'm not like, can we get the photo? I can check. But if I grab their eye attention, I don't whisper it. It's not like a puzzle at this point. If I am like, hey, can we get the check?

It's like I just speak like a normal person. I speak shorthand. I go, can we get the... Why? I don't want to out them if I am like hey can we get the check it's like I just speak like a normal person I speak shorthand I go can we get the why I don't want to out them I'm like are you like is it because they're not doing their job I don't want to pressure them like whenever you're ready I'm like can we just I mean I will say hey no rush whenever you're ready we get the check yeah if they're coming to your table let's say they bring you a refill do you shorthand that can we get? Like it's a guessing game?

To be fair, I drink water. So every time it's low, they just fill it up too much. What? I never have to ask for that one. But although I feel like it's like easier to ask for the check and then like have them walk away. And then the worst is when you're like, can we get the check?

And then they just whip out one of those like toast things. I'm like, fuck, you're already ready with it. Someone did that to me the other day. And the cheapest like option for tip was 20%. I believe in tips, but I was like, fuck, you're already ready with it. Someone did that to me the other day and the cheapest option for tip was 20%. I believe in tips, but I was like, it's a setup. Do you ever tip, like, 20%? Well, I feel like the gauge is 18 or more, right? But this person talked to us like once the whole time.

Well, I mean, there's a tipping epidemic in this country. That's true, that is very much true. Now you have to like, especially order anything, coffee. Stand in line to order, do you wanna tip 25%? order. Yeah, do you want to tip 25%? It's like you want to tip it's like what the fuck Yeah, we should tip out our own like discretion though, but I feel like he was like Like look you looking at it as he was like, what are you gonna put in and I was like, well well serving table for servers I'm a man. I'm a minimal 20%

But like when I go to For servers, I'm a minimal 20%. I do too, because I've worked at a restaurant, but when I go to, when I'm just picking up food, like if it's a pickup order and there's like tip option, I'm just like, but I'm, like when we do that at Mendo. Oh, I'm a no tip. Oh, I got that. I'm sorry. I got grilled for tipping a takeout once.

I'm a sucker. I'm always like, three dollars. Every once in a while. I'm a sucker. I'm always like, three dollars. Rather than... Every once in a while, I'm feeling generous. It just depends. Cause I never have cash on me either. So it's like Starbucks, all that stuff, when you put your card in, I'm like,

if I had the option and had a couple dollars, I'd put it in the jar. So it might as well just be like two dollars, three dollars. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. Was that just because their world got more automated and they were able to like ask for tips that they just started doing it? Yeah.

So it just automatically has a tip option. Nick, I should give you a thing. Every time you leave the studio, just like tip. Tip, tip, tip, tips. Tip, tip, tip. We can give you a little tip jar in the front of the studio. That's absolutely what the world's coming to. We're all of a sudden like employees

are at a corporate office. They're gonna have like, a tip jar in the front. They say, can I get the TPS report? They're like, yeah, sure. And I'm going to get a tip request when it's done. It's like, how's that new sizzle coming? And she's like, well, where's that fucking 20%?

You know, you want an answer, pay for it. I will say waiters, waiters need more tips. Like tips are kind of necessary in like the way that they're paid. I think for waiters because they're not paid enough. Exactly. So then we come and not paid enough. Exactly. That's the problem. So then we compensate for it, yeah. Yeah, we're the company, like a Starbucks

or like a Mendocino Farms, like it's not our fault that they're not paying their people enough. Yeah, they should pay more. I think if we want to tip because their service is so extraordinary and that coffee is so piping hot and made with love and I want to say thank you. Here's 20%, I'm all for tipping.

But the guilt trip, the well this is how we make our money, oh the real scam and this is like an ally scam, I think you've seen it in New York. It's the, some of my favorite restaurants have this. It's the, what is it, they call it the service. They're like this is the service fee, we all share it and I'm like so service. Yeah. They're like, this is the service fee. We all share it. And I'm like, so it's a tip.

Well, no, this is not a tip. They call it a service fee. Service fee. Service fee. Wait, I saw this for the first time. It's 18% across the board. And they're like, we share it for the staff. And then, and like before they would just like

not tell you about it and hope that you would double tip, which I did forever. And then finally I was like, wait, no, I've been tipping 40%. And then I stopped doing it and I would just be like, circle the service fee. And now when you go there, now they're like, no, on the receipt, they'll tell you this is not a tip. This is for X, Y and Z, and this is for this,

and this is for that, maybe it's benefits, whatever. And all I read is like, my employer doesn't want to pay us. So we've decided to do this, but it's, so you're asking for two tips. Like it is a, I don't care what, that you don't call it a tip, it's literally a tip. And it's ridiculous.

That's like, they expect, they're expecting you 40% on top of your meal. They're expecting you to pay 40% surcharge. They need to raise minimum wage. That's fucking crazy. Yeah, I think this is, it's on, it's the minimum wage needs to be higher. Restaurants need to pay 40% surcharge. They need to raise minimum wage. That's fucking crazy. Yeah, I think this is, it's on, it's the minimum wage needs to be higher. Restaurants need to pay more.

It's, cause I'm gonna keep tipping until that happens, but it's like, it should be on the restaurant. But I really hate it when they tell me it's not a tip. Oh, the service fee? Yeah. Cause that's giving me a little scammy, but. No, it's giving total scammy. Well, that it's not going to the server.

It's going to the restaurant. Well, I don't know. It's not my problem. How do you feel about Sugarfish when they do the tip already? So by the time you open the card, so you don't care. Well, they only do, well, they do 18%.

It's automatic. And I'm always like, can I add a tip? Because sometimes, again, if you don't ask, then I want to be generous. Like it's like, here's an extra 10 bucks or whatever. You know, you were great. Yeah, they don't even give you the option. They're just like, you're done.

There's a get out. Get the fuck out. You're done. We charged you get out. Yeah, they don't even give you the option. They're just like, you're done. Get the fuck out. You're done, we charged you, get out. Literally, which I kind of appreciate. I appreciate efficiency. Same, same. Should Lala have to tip her sperm donor? Nice segue. We are obsessed with the segue.

That's a good one. Wow, that was great. I was a little, I found that scene fascinating with Lala's like, donor party. It seemed like, quite honestly, it seemed like she had her donor picked out. And then did the whole like paddle thing and made it seem like she was getting input.

And then it's like, so we're really going with one? Great. I felt like she had, and rightfully so. I mean, of course she would, you know, not actually let Lisa Vanderpump in a paddle pick the father of her next child. It's like, well, Lisa Vanderpump was like, he loves dogs, so donor number three.

And it's like, no, honey, that can't be enough. That is your advice, Lisa? He's a murderer, he hates children, but he loves dogs. Yes, him. He is riddled with like diseases, and I don't like hereditary, you know, family history of cancer and heart disease. I am fascinated for the people like Lala who do get a donor and what a great way to have a family.

There's a lot of reasons why people can't conceive on their own. So, love that Lala brought awareness to this and showed like you know that it could be a really beautiful and heartwarming process you know but I am fascinated by like what information do you get like what you're dealing with like HIPAA laws and things like that I funny story a couple years back like I don't I don't even think I was the bachelor yet I had been on the bachelorette and I don't even know how I found out about this, but I was sent a bit of information.

It was from some sort of donor place and they had celebrity lookalikes. And I was a celebrity lookalike for one of their sperms. You were the celebrity lookalike for one of their sperms? Yeah, it was like, if you picked this kid, it could look like Nick Viall from the bachelorette. So they would publicize the sperm with a picture of you. Yeah, it was like, if you want your kid to look like this guy.

Did you get a percentage of that? No. Did you get anything from this? No. Well, I mean, it's a celebrity lookalike. I wasn't as well represented then as I am now. I didn't have the arsenal of the team that I have now. So maybe, I don't know, maybe there was some time foolery going on, but I didn't, I did

nothing with that information. Also, I feel like the internet thought I was short and a little like... Give me an adjective. Short, egotistical. A synonym. Dweeby. Dweeby? Dweeby? Scrawny? Dweeby? Quirky? I like Dweeby.

I like small. Dweeby, yeah. Okay, they thought you were a dweeb? Well, I just like, I know, but the internet has a lot of different opinions of me. So whoever was doing that particular, you know, celebrity lookalike, was that like a good thing or a bad? It's a kind of a weird, it's kind of dangerous territory to have like a celebrity lookalike

you've never met in person. Well, it's also not their sperm. So like for me, that's weird. It's not your sperm. That's a straight up not going to be Nick Miles kid. Yeah, it's like, it's not even me. It's just like, what, but what, I think it's because obviously I'm guessing

you don't get to see these people's photos, right? I feel like I've heard in the, from someone in the past that I talked about it with, I don't know like too in-deep what it is, but they were able to see the photos of the person. Maybe that's like, maybe it's like a checkbox option. Do you like, you want to show your photo or do you want to remain anonymous?

I imagine most of the donors want to be anonymous. Yeah, they definitely put descriptions though. Like, cause my friend used a donor and they were able to see the hair color, eye color, like the descriptors were there. I don't know if we were able to see a photo. What about like family health history? So as long as- I don't know if you're able to see it. What about like family health history?

So as long as- I mean, I think those are all really important things. For pictures, I'm looking at it and it depends on the different process or like source of the sperm, but like some places allow you to see the photos of the people. Yeah, it depends on the, it's like some have extended profiles

that even have pictures of the donors as adults. But a lot of people wanna know hair color, eye color, height, weight and race. What about like father's, mother's, father's hairline? Says personal and family medical history. Yeah. I don't think baldness counts as medical history though. Why not? Hairline, hairline.

Why not? Demographic and education information. Okay, like athletic background. How high can they jump? How many? But do you think it would matter, oh, this guy only finished college or this guy only finished high school

and this one has a master's? I care less about education and more about IQ. Yeah, like what about, I'd wanna know IQ, intelligence. I'd wanna know athletic background. I'd wanna know know more about IQ. Yeah, like what about, I'd want to know like IQ, intelligence, I'd want to know like athletic background, I'd want to know like hobbies and interests, I'd want to know introvert, extrovert, personality test, like an enneagram test or some kind of personality test. What's the, what are some of the personality tests?

Is there? Meyers-Briggs. Meyers-Briggs, you know? Like something about like what's there, because we inherit our personalities so much. Like as we get older, it's like, fuck man, I am my fucking dad. You know, like those commercials, like you're growing up to be your parents.

Like as I get older, like I'm sitting there watching TV or I'll like, I'll do some sort of like body, I don't know, I'll do something and I'll like feel like I'm channeling my parents. I just did that. Yeah, you're like, holy shit, I'm my mom, I'm my dad, I'm my god. I sat on the ground to eat my dinner, like at the coffee table and my grandma does just did that. Yeah. You're like, Holy shit, I'm my mom, I'm my dad, I'm my god. I sat on the ground to eat my dinner at the coffee table and my grandma does this all

the fucking time. And it bugs me so much because we have a dining table, we have a couch and she always sits on the ground. And then the other day I was sitting and eating dinner with Connor and I just sat on the ground and I was just like, what is happening? The one thing I would criticize her for is the thing that I'm all of a sudden doing and I'm comfortable doing it. Yes. How much of that do you think is learned like you watch?

Your parents do things and then you learn those actions as opposed to like like if I if you know You know if my dad had passed away way earlier in my childhood would I have picked up on a lot of the things that? He used to do. I don't know I think it's a bit. I think it's definitely a mix I think we obviously have learned behaviors and we learn from our parents and our surroundings and our communities and the things we watch and the things we watch for sure. But I think there is, your dad passed away.

I gotta imagine there are moments that you do or say something that your mom like says or acknowledges like it's reminding you of your dad. No, never. No, 100% but he passed away when I was 19. So there was a lot of years that I learned behaviors. No, but I do think that there are definitely like inherent things that like I do that I inherited.

Yeah. Yeah, and it might not be like ticks or behaviors or habits or things like that, but our personalities, like whether we are more introverted or extroverted, like, yeah, you can have two extroverted parents and have an introverted child, but somewhere along the line, there's personality traits I know I have from my parents.

There are personality traits all my siblings have. In so many ways, all 11 of us, we couldn't be more different in so many ways, but at the same time, you can also tell that we're siblings in a lot of other ways, right? And so, yeah, those are the things I want. I don't really care if they liked dogs or not. That's to me a product of your upbringing.

Yeah, 100%. Favorite animal was a weird question for Lala. I think too, for me, I would wanna know hobbies, talents, special skills. Can you sing? Can you like, can you play sports? Yeah, is there a music background? If they were a comedian, see that's more learned.

And also that's usually a sign of like childhood trauma. You always hear that, right? But yeah, I feel like they could, there's so much more information you would want. If you could know one information from your donor, what would it be? For me, just because of my trauma with health issues, I would say health, like healthy background. I don't know.

I was thinking like occupation, but not in the sense of like I want a high occupation, but more of who are they? What do they? All right, I got, okay, your health, because I know you're gonna say health, but the question is health or talent? You get to know one of the two. Talent.

Health. But if I was gonna answer that individually, then I would say, yeah, I would want to know what they look like. Let's assume. Right. Because I wanna know what my kid's gonna look like. Let's assume. Right. Because I want to know what my kid's going to look like. Blue eyes.

Eye color. Let's assume they do a baseline health test. What would that tell? You know, like, no, I don't know. Like, you know, sometimes you can pass. Physical. No, but certain diseases. What's the lung disease

that's very... Cystic fibrosis. Cystic fibrosis, thank you. Oh, that's a really bad one too. Yeah, and I think it's very genetic, is my understanding. But like, so something like that, where, and I'm not talking about like, my dad died of a heart attack,

because that is, you know, that obviously can be hereditary, there's hereditary elements, but a lot of that is diet and lifestyle and things like that. Cancer, you know, like not to downplay cancer, but like cancer is very prevalent. You know, everyone you- There are some that are genetic though, but yeah. Yes.

That could predispose you. Yes, but then there are some other more like more serious ones where it runs in your family and immediately there's tests being like you have to deal with. So let's assume they do that baseline where you don't know about cancer per se, you don't know about heart, but some of the more severe ones, you're, you know.

I guess when you say health, you can go pretty granular, right? Like my grandfather died with cancer, right? So like if I were a donor, like all of a sudden it's like, you know, this donor's grandfather had cancer, you know, and this donor's like, sure, of course, you know what I'm saying? That's like the one, you know, but there are, there could be. So let's say that you couldn't get really granular with health, but you've got the baseline, you know, this donor doesn't have any genetic,

we're gonna have to worry about. Genetic markers for anything super serious. Markers for any severe that your child might have, could be born with, and you're in the clear there. But let's say there was the option to get more granular with height, weight, like health, or I don't know, hairlines and things like that.

Those are more physical. It's part of health. Yeah. Okay. I stand by talent. So you're saying looks or talent? Yeah. Well, I'm part of the thing

because I want to say talent too, but it's not to say that like, I'm taking the risk that they're going to be generally healthy. It's like no different than like, I didn't, you know, Nali's dad, he's got health problems't you know Nally's dad he's got health problems right. Nally's grandma just passed away but she was 90. I didn't

like neither Nally and I like made the other person go to the doctor and get like some sort of like health history before we conceived River. Yeah well that's why you take vows for better or for worse because you didn't ask. Danny and I did genetic testing before yeah before we got married. Just because we're both Jewish, there are a lot of things that, you know, we didn't have anything that was the same, thankfully, but like we definitely did, because we were, you know.

What would you have done with that information had? Probably like IVF or something, yeah. Because your bloodlines would be, are closer together. Yeah, but I mean, we happen to be from like different sides of the world, but like, yeah. No, it happens. It happens. Yeah.

Should we talk about Rachel Levis and her claims that Tom Sandoval told her it was a bad idea to stay in trauma therapy despite her really dark thoughts? I hate saying. I think Tom has just become a convenient punching bag and excuse for everything now, you know, and Tom has done himself no favors in terms of gaining any credibility. And that's not to say he's done a lot of things wrong, you know, but I just think the devil's in the details and in terms of wording. And again, I was around Tom during this time where he very much was wanting to be in a relationship

with Rachel and she was in this mental health facility. And the time I talked to when he was talking about Rachel was nothing like like, said nothing but wonderful things about this girl and wanted to be with her. It was super supportive. Now, was he supportive in the way that she wanted or needed to be supported? I don't know. There's a world where Tom could have not thought

that was the best situation for her and it's not the same as him the way she's selling it. I don't know, Tom kind of doubled down last episode with saying that she was selfish when the podcast came out. And I will say that I think Rachel's take or whatever was that while she was going into it, that she didn't go into the institution when she wanted to originally because Tom talked her out

of it. So that's why she ended up doing the reunion, and then she disappeared and went into the meadows. But what she is saying is that he was continuously trying to say that these people are going to brainwash her, that she, like, is being selfish for staying in there, even though she said she felt that she needed to. I mean, obviously, we don't know it's speculation

at this point from, like, her point of view, I guess. But at the same time, I'm kind of like, I don't know, I'm just, I think Tom looks out for himself. So at the same time, I'm not shocked by the idea that maybe he's not giving the best advice because at the end of the day, they're about to walk into a season and he's about to take like step

on every landmine possible alone. It's not that I'm doubting he said that. I'm just questioning her version of his intent. I think Tom, I know Tom can say a lot of dumb things. I just don't think it's all malicious and manipulative. You know what I'm saying? And I think now she's very much having this revisionist history of this story.

Again, I wasn't really friends with Ariana. It's like, okay, that's definitely subjective now. And it's just like, I don't know. People love to throw out the word best friend all the time. How many best friends do you have? It's always so subjective. And very much Rachel is giving revisionist history. What did she say about, I know she responded to Sheena talking about the living situation

and her only paying a certain amount of rent. Like, what did she even say about that? She was legitimizing it by saying it was an equal trade and that she stayed at the house in LA while Sheena and Brock were out in San Diego, and that she was watching Sheena's cat that was pumped with mercury for three weeks while Sheena was breastfeeding so she couldn't be around the cat. And somehow that equivalates to staying with mercury for three weeks while Sheena was breastfeeding so she couldn't be around the cat. And somehow that equivalates to staying with them for multiple months for only $1,000 a month. And Sheena's made it very clear

that she was doing it as a favor, but then they got to a point in June where she was like, you gotta figure something else out. Well, again, that doesn't even really make sense of Rachel because on the episode, Sheena was literally just pointing out, as she said, she was doing a kindness to Rachel. And the reason, defending Shina here, by the way, Shina,

if you're listening, is that she was pointing out, hey, I did this kindness for this friend who ended up kind of stabbing me in the back and not being a friend to me. And that's frustrating because I, you know, tried to be a friend to this person. Here's an example of me trying to be a friend. I let them live here for a much reduced rent.

Why does Rachel need to respond to that? Rachel doesn't need to go, well, it wasn't a favor. It's the same bullshit about, I wasn't friends with Ariana. It's a semantics argument, be like, well, actually, no, it was a deal. It was a fair market value deal. It's just like, I only paid this, but I did this. And it's like, no, you stayed here for $1,000

by yourself in a $4,000 apartment because you watched a cat? Yeah, I think if Rachel's gonna nitpick every detail of the show, like she should have just gone on the show. Like, if you wanna move on as badly as you say that you do, then do it. She doesn't wanna move on.

Like, why are you still talking about it on every episode? It's like, oh, this episode is about Vanderpump. It's like, no, every episode that you put out is about Vanderpump. No, this season is about Skandival and the fallout of Skandival, of which she was clearly a part of, you know? She started it, and so yes.

What did you think was gonna happen? That's why she is always talked about every episode. Yeah. Which she did say, because Tom, this episode was saying that he was used by Rachel, and like direct quote, she said, what would I be using him for?

It's not like I need him to be more famous. If that were the case, I would have just stayed on the show. And I thought that that was kind of a telling thing too, where she was just like, I don't have any purpose for Tom, let alone being on the show besides being famous. And even then that's probably why you're continuing to speak on it. Yeah, if I'm hearing you right,

it sounds like that's an admission of, I dated Tom to be famous, but now that I am, I no longer need him. Or the show. Yeah, because she's like, how am I using him? And it's like, well, you did agree to be in a relationship with somebody who was clearly in a relationship while hanging out at their house with their partner.

Like, it's not like you weren't aware of the circumstances, but you were hoping that the end result would be he breaks up with Ariana, you move into the house, and you become the new Ariana of the group. Yeah, I just think we have to acknowledge he might be a shitty boyfriend, he might not be taking any accountability, he might be self-centered,

and yes, he can be manipulative. When I say, like, I just don't think he's that sophisticated and Machiavellian that he's like, I don't think he's ever playing chess, you know what I'm saying? He might be, it's checkers, it may be manipulative, but it's like, hey, look the other way and moves the pieces kind of thing versus like some sort of five-step

manipulation plan of how he's going to do X, Y or Z. I know this sounds corny to say, but despite all of this, Tom is a human being and he does have feelings. And I think we talk about Tom as if he doesn't. And he doesn't have the right to say, I'm sad about this or my feelings are hurt. And a lot of people have this discourse of if he's not a human being who doesn't have feelings. And just because Tom fucked up doesn't mean that we can do and say whatever we want to Tom

and just because he's a piece of shit, that that allows us to be pieces of shit to him. You know what I'm saying? And it's like, just because of's a piece of shit, that that allows us to be pieces of shit to him. You know what I'm saying? And it's like, just because of Tom's bad behavior, like Rachel is using Tom's bad behavior to just bizarrely explain all these reasons and banking on the fact that Tom is so hated and so disliked and everyone's just gonna assume

Tom's the worst version of this couple, that they're gonna buy her bullshit. And it's not landing. That's her trump card. Yeah. She's like, boom, no more. That was manipulated by Tommy. He made me, made me, made me, made me, made me, made me, I wasn't friends with Ariana.

It's just like, I, and I think she, yeah, it's so fucking annoying. Yeah, I agree. You're making Sheena look like a queen. Well, speaking of said queen, did you see that she worked a shift at Chili's? I love that actually. I thought it was so cute.

I hope she got a lot of tips. Yeah. Yeah, well, there you go. 25%. I thought, I love that. I love anytime someone who has a bit of celebrity. Lana Del Rey did that not too long ago. I think she did it at a Waffle House.

Waffle House. I love Waffle House. You know, like waiting tables is, it's real work, it's hard work. It's the hardest job I've ever had. You have to deal with a lot of people. You have to, it's physically taxing. Like it's very hard to do shit.

And being a celebrity that Sheena is, like, yeah, it was, it's not, she put herself in it. Like that's not, that's opposite of diva attitude, you know? It was a good callback for her because her fame came from being a waiter. Truly. Yeah. So I thought it was fun to seeback for her because her fame came from being a waiter. Truly. Yeah, so I thought it was fun to see. I thought the commercial of her and Katie was awesome.

I loved it. It was so funny. Both of them, from an acting standpoint, very well done. Incredible. It was really, really great, yeah. I might stand alone here, but I love chilis, so. I used to be a big chili. There's something there for everyone.

That was my first girlfriend and I, that was our spot. I mean. At an Olive Garden. Truly. Olive Garden. I used to think Olive Garden was a fine Italian dining. Those breadsticks? Those breadsticks are fine dining. No, they're not.

I should eat so many of those breadsticks. Little Alfredo sauce on the side. Oh my God, no, all the dipping sauces. I want all of them. Nick, don't run from your past. Olive Garden is good. And so is Domino's. Olive Garden is good.

Chili's is- Domino's is the best of the fast food chain rest pizza places. I don't know about that one. I agree. No, I agree with that. Well, I say I'm by Chuck E. Cheese. So I acknowledge that I'm not the mainstream.

Does Chuck E. Cheese count as fast food pizza? I've said this on episodes before. I like Chuck E. Cheese count as fast as he lives in pizza? I've said this on episodes before. I like Chuck E. Cheese pizza. Where are you getting Chuck E. Cheese pizza from? No, he would order during the pandemic. Yeah. Just to put pizza. Chuck E. Cheese was struggling to stay open.

So they sold their pizzas for like $5 on DoorDash. This was in Sacramento, right? Yeah. I'm sure they did it down here too. Do you make it sound like? He single-handed beats me. I don't know where there's- It's like that was a secondhand city. It's like, oh, well it was in Sacramento. So like they just do weird shit there. Can you make it sound like? He single-handed. Like that was a secondhand city. It's like, oh, I was in Sacramento.

So like, they just do weird shit there. Can you tell me where there's a Chuck E. Cheese in LA? I've looked it up. Is there one? They're in LA. I don't know where, but. There's one in the valley. It's probably good that you don't know because you're an adult who,

well, I know you're pregnant with a child, but like, if you know where, if you're an adult person without kids and you know where Chuck E. Cheese is, red flag. Or you prefer to pick up your pizza? Well, minus. No, I agree. I'm saying I would get it delivered. I respect the fact that you just love your kind of pizza.

Yeah. You know, but. Hysterical. We should do a taste test one time. I know a great Chuck E. Cheese. Holy shit. We should do a taste test one time. Chuck E. Cheese versus Pizza Hut versus Domino's.

Domino's will reign superior every time. I would say every time I've had Domino's, my stomach sings. That's never time, Chuck E. Cheese versus Pizza Hut versus Domino's. Domino's will reign superior every time. I would say every time I've had Domino's, my stomach sings. That's never happened with Chuck E. Cheese. I will say that. What's your least favorite fast food chain, Pizza Place? Oh, Pizza Place specifically. Papa John's, disgusting, gross.

Ooh. I don't think I've ever had Papa John's. Little Caesar's with that weird ass square crust. I used to love Little Caesar's as a kid. I grew up on Little Caesar's. Well, Little Caesar's used to be $5. Now it's like 20. 20?

Not 20, I exaggerated. Okay, it's like nine. No, he just did lay a math with the pizza slice at Coachella. The pizza at Coachella was $15 a slice. It was not 15. Yes, it was. I believe it. It was.

It was 13. Okay, it was 13. Okay, it was 13. I said it was 15 and they all made fun of me. I was like, I rounded up $2. She did 15 with a gasp. It was like, it was 13. Okay, it was 13. I said it was 15 and they all made fun of me. I was like, I rounded up, $2. She did 15 with a gasp. It was like, it was $15. Wait, but why?

I mean, I'm actually team Leia here. It was $13 and I said- But why did you need to exaggerate? I just, I rounded up because I have OCD and I need even, I know 15 isn't an even number, but I need like even numbers. Is 15 a prime number? It is, yeah, three, six, nine, 12.

No, it's not. Five goes into it, three goes into it. We all know, we all know I don't know how to do math. Ali. What is a prime number again? Three, six, nine, 12? Numbers can't go into it. Three, six, nine, 12?

Three. Oh, what is prime number? Three. Seven. Prime means it's not divisible, like so Nick keeps saying six and nine. You're talking to us like we know shit. A prime number is a whole number greater than one

that cannot be exactly divided by any whole number other than itself. We're really consistent with our math here. Three. Seven. Like, not nine. Eleven. Gangster.

Thirteen. Yeah, why was I like throwing down a beat? I was like, three, seven. You should write a song of all the prime numbers. I honestly don't tell her that. She'll have one ready to go by tomorrow. I'll need one. That's how I remember things.

But also Miss Rachel, huge, huge sensation that like maybe you should. Like I know it sounds like a silly idea, but Miss Rachel hits like crazy numbers. Kits YouTube. I'm telling you. Speaking of singers, Allie and James sang at the LA Times Festival of Books.

I really like Allie and James. I said this on Reality Recap. I do think she's been great for him. You've seen a more mature James since they've been together. So much so that like he's almost like moved ahead. You know, this episode Allie's like, I don't even know if I want to have kids or want to get married someday. since they've been together. So much so that he's almost moved ahead. This episode, Ali's like,

I don't even know if I wanna have kids or wanna get married someday. James is crying on the couch. Yeah, that was a, I felt something. Which I also feel like is really bad timing for her to be launching this music career. Again, love Ali and James. Optics scream, she's doing it for not the love.

It's just kind of bad timing to have the episode of James like crime because he's always wanted to be a dad, he's always wanted to be a husband, he's in what he thinks is the healthiest relationships he's ever had. He seems to be making the healthiest choices, his career's on the up and up. He seems unlike the rest of the men on Vanderpump. And again, I don't think James, you correct me if I'm wrong, but he doesn't have the squeaky cleanest pass. I don't think he's, he's had some, he has a bit of a bad reputation

with some toxic masculinity traits. Well, we see it. Yeah, but I'm just saying recently, say what you want, but he seems to be the only guy actually demonstrating some growth, right? And I think there's a credit to Ali there. I don't know. I love Ali, yeah.

I just hate for their relationship and her career that she's dropping her music video out now on the heels of her being like, I don't know if I wanna be with you forever. I agree with that. And I hate that for them. I'm not accusing her or them of anything. I just hate that there has been chatter on the old internet

about her intentions of the relationship. I mean, the music video and song was produced and directed by James. He is still a partnership. No, he is supporting her, man. She's out there, she's singing on stage and he's like her literal hype person. I'm curious to see where the next few episodes take us though,

because I don't, we don't, that conversation didn't end, in my opinion. I feel like that was not the end. It could have been one of those bachelor episodes where it's just like, oh, I think I'm gonna go home. And then like the next episode, it's like. It's giving Kelsey's note. I think I'm going home if you,

you know, there's a whole other side, yeah, maybe. I don't know. I feel like there's definitely gonna be more to that conversation that we're gonna see in the next few episodes. And then that will, I think, yeah, timing wise, that episode and then the video. I really like them together.

I would be very sad if she ends up breaking up with him for what comes across as like, I'm just like, I don't know, I outgrew him. You know, like short of James doing something that would be deserving of a breakup. And listen, everyone's allowed to like, you know, people are allowed to change feeling. I hate that nowadays we are very much in a like,

people break up, who caused it? Who's the winner, who's the loser, who's the asshole, who's good guy versus bad guy. Sometimes people have feelings who change. Nevertheless, given that like Ali has literally become famous through her relationship with James, it's always gonna beg the... you know now Ali's had to face the same criticism of like what were her intentions when we first started dating? You know? So, and again, now that we have a kid together and getting married, like it's become less of a thing

because it's like, well, hey, we'll see what happens with our relationship, we're gonna give it the old college try and we're gonna do our best and work our hardest to have the relationship last to the end of time, but we're in it. We're fully committed, our actions show that like, we're two people in a relationship and to the end of time, but we're in it, we're fully committed. Our actions show that we're two people in a relationship and it's just like, right now, Ali and James are leaving the door open

for people to pick apart why their relationship exists. And that makes me kind of sad because there's so much to like about their relationship. Yeah. It's timing and I think there's quotes too where I was like, Ali made it very clear that she was not the next Taylor Swift. So she was like, I'm going to start my astrology business.

And so then I think all of a sudden putting out music videos and whatnot, it's going to spark something and haters. And I love, I mean, I love, I mean, I know I love that what they're doing. I think it's, it's hard to be vulnerable. Like for, you know, whether it's, whether it's Sheena's good as gold, or Ali performing, or James being a DJ, or even Sandoval singing karaoke, I'm serious, it's hard to put yourself out there, it's hard to try, everyone's a fucking critic,

everyone's gonna bash you, people are always gonna rip on people who try things. And so yeah, it might come across as awkward, or not the cleanest of performances, but it takes fucking guts to go out there on stage with a small fucking crowd and sing your song. Every artist has to start that way. We always sound like it's like, oh, he came from the bottom,

but that's fucking hard to do. I'm never going to criticize anyone who's trying to put themselves out there and build a career, but from an optics standpoint, from Ali, it's just, you know. I agree with you. There was a time I wanted to be a musician and then I was too scared to pursue it. So I can't fault anyone for putting themselves out there like that.

It is. It's so scary. It is tough. It is tough. I did like one show with Danny and I like, my voice was like quivering. It's like, it's so scary. Yeah, cause sometimes you have to show up and there's like my voice was like quivering it's like it's it's so scary yeah because sometimes you have to show up and there's like a crowd of six

and you feel stupid and you feel like no one cares and you just have to you have to show up there and act like you are Taylor Swift and everyone's excited to see you you got to embrace it and that's so hard to do credit to them for for trying I just protect the relationship, you know? Anyways, that about does it. We have so much to get into next week on Reality Recap, because obviously we'll see, maybe they'll break up next week, I doubt it, but I think they're, I saw them at Coachella.

They seem to be doing really well. And they're at the Festival of Books. And they were at the Festival of Books singing songs. All right, well, it's time for Alex Warren, but before we do, don't forget to send in those questions at asknickatthevilefiles.com. For all things texting, office hours, ask Nick, mediation, you know the drill. Let's get to Alex.

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30% off site wide with code V I A L L. Alex, welcome. Hi, thanks. How are you? Good. Just finding I'm learning so much already, and I've been here for five minutes. What's going on with these headphones? Oh, I don't usually wear them.

You don't have to wear them. Do I not have to? You can wear them on your head like that if you want. Sure. OK. You look like a laser pad. Let's get the YouTube comments up. Really?

Why are you wearing his headphones? People are so offended sometimes by people's headphones in place. Some people get triggered by it. I've always seen the way that they're wearing their headphones bothers me. I'm just like, that's insane. You keep looking at me a lot.

Is how I'm bothering, does this bother you? No. Okay. I just like to look at people in the room. Call me a psycho. So you were shot. Oh yeah, I knew this was coming. Let's just get into it. I love that, yeah.

I love the segue. That's great. I just saw that on the notes. Yeah, fun thing too is the guy who shot me is officiating my wedding. Oh my. That's the awesome part. Do we start to get it? So this was an accident?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. It wasn't like, not now we're cool. No, it was really, it was actually fun. It was fun. Yeah. I was 18, fully fresh out of my home and I was literally sleeping in cars or whatever and I was filming a video with a group of my friends at my friend's house and he had

like a 177 grain if you're familiar with how big of a caliber that is, it's smaller than a 22. Okay. Do you know a 22 is small? Yeah. So it's a small, small, tiny thing and he didn't know it was loaded from his son's having it loaded. And he just pointed at me and said, run.

And so I did and I got shot. I went through my liver, went up, missed my heart by a few centimeters and it's stuck in my lung now. You're refraining get arrested? No, cause I lied and say it was ricochet. Okay. Yeah, but it's been longer than the statue of limitation,

so okay. Okay, all right. Yeah. Who is it, and we're still friends. Why are we friends? Why did he do this? Oh, he was like a, I don't know. He was very, very apologetic about it, but I don't know.

I think that, you know, he was- Did you almost die? Yeah, but he was like a father figure to me, funny enough. After my dad passed away, he did a lot for me, and also when I was homeless, he gave me he was- Did you almost die? Yeah, but he was like a father figure to me, funny enough. After my dad passed away, like he did a lot for me. And also when I was homeless, he like gave me a car to sleep in and stuff, probably because of the bullet. But-

Sorry about the little trade off. But no, it was something where like, you know, I'm one of the most forgiving people ever. So I also just hate holding grudges and things like that. And ever since then, he's been a huge part of my, like my life, which is cool. Interesting. Yeah. Was it a large recovery process? It's been a huge part of my life, which is cool. Interesting. Yeah.

Was it a large recovery process? It's not a large recovery process. It's more of like, it was just, it hurt like a bitch for the first week. Yeah. Because especially when it happened, it's hot. So it's just burning from the inside of you, which is like the weirdest feeling ever.

And I don't know how to describe it. It's almost like you have an itch that like, almost like something where you have to itch it, but it's underneath your skin. So like that was the part for me that was the hardest and I passed out a few times from it. It was just bleeding inside and the itch. It's still there?

Yeah. Yeah, I can't get an MRI or it rips out of me. What about a metal detector at a plant? No, cause it's lead. It's lead, it's not metal. Yeah. So you can't go to the airport like, sorry, I was shot. No, so that was the You gotta pull it in.

That was the exciting part about it. And then I found out lead, obviously. I had a nice little science lesson. Isn't lead not good to hem in your body? No, definitely not. What makes a... It's not recommended. What makes a doctor say, you know what, we're just going to leave it in there?

Because they'd have to break my ribs to get it. And there'd be a chance of death, a higher chance of death than just leaving it. So it's capsulized in my lung. And essentially if I fall from a certain height and land on my chest, there's a chance it could rupture and start bleeding out again too. Jesus. Yeah. So try and...

You're okay. Yeah, so no MRIs and no jumping off of things. I was going to say, and stay away from heights. Yeah. Okay. So are there substitutes for MRIs? I haven't had a cat scan Okay, what's the other one pet scan pet scan? Which is funny? What's up with pet?

Yeah, what is a pet scan versus a cat scan? Um, I don't know I just know that I get what is like why do why they specify one particular pet and the rest are just like you know What generalized generalized right? There's no dog scan. Yeah, where's the bird scan? Yeah Right, there's no dog scan. Yeah, where's the bird scan? Yeah. I don't know. Someone could go, I don't even know what a PET scan is. I just know I have to get those instead of an MRI.

It's a real, the first time in my life I've heard of it. You've never heard of a PET scan? Same. I've heard of a CAT scan. Wow, yeah. Mostly because of the movie Varsity Blues. Well, a PET scan has more to do with like, you would use that for like cancerous areas.

A PET scan is for cancerous areas? Mm-hmm. What's a CAT scan for? So a CAT scan is taking pictures of various angles to show images of the patient's body organs, tissues, and bones. Then the PET scan shows how patient cells react to radio tracer,

which may indicate cancerous areas. The combined PET and CAT scans join these two technologies together. And then an MRI is different. We're learning so much. I know, right? Sci-Cos. PET scans and MRI scans look at the form of the structures inside of your body.

And again, the PET scan looks at their functions. So that's why Alex can swap out the MRI for the CT. How long ago was this? I was 18. So I'm 23 now. Five years. Wow. Yeah. That's crazy. I'm not very good at math. Nobody in this office is. 18. I'm pretty good.

I feel like 18 was a big year for you too, because you also met your fiance, correct? Yeah. Who's your high school sweetheart? No, she's from Hawaii. Oh my God. How did you meet? Snapchat, funny enough.

The weirdest way. Yeah, our friend was my- Who's the first nude? Jesus Christ. I don't know. That's a good question, actually. I'm gonna play the fifth in case anyone hacks that. But no, I don't know, my friend moved to Hawaii

and she put on a show that she was looking for roommates, somehow got mixed up with my fiance. And I kept seeing her on Snapchat stories and I was like, holy shit, she's beautiful. And I kept hitting her up. And at the time I think she had a boyfriend and I was like, oh, I can't do that, sorry, and then something happened and she hit me back and we started talking She flew out then I flew out to surprise her and she flew out again

And then one time I just told her I had a place to stay and she should move in with me like after four months Of long distance she moved out and the place I had to stay in was a car And how did you moved in she moved into your car. She said fuck it and she did it. What kind of car was it? It was a 1994 Volvo, like one of those wagons. It's my favorite car ever, stick shift, it's awesome. Like a station wagon? Yeah.

Nice. And you were literally living in it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I had nowhere else to live. And this was in LA? No, this is in, I'm originally from San Diego, so car was bad if you've never heard of it. And how did you end up living in a car? All the way from the beginning, after my dad passed away, my mom became an alcoholic.

I think that was just the easiest thing for her to kind of figure out how to cope with everything happening. And also there's four of us. So I think after a while... You have three siblings. Yeah. So my mom went... My dad fought cancer a few times. And they told him that he was fine. And then he got it again and again until his terminal and it was kidney cancer So he removed a kidney and they're like, okay cool. You're good now and then he got it again and they're like well We can't remove this one So I think it was just like over the period of the seven years that he was fighting this

She I think went to alcohol for a long time It was a problem where she'd be driving a strunk and you know Something would happen or when she started getting physical and stuff I kind of noticed the alcohol in her breath and I would find them and I'd be like hey you're an alcoholic you need to get this figured out and I think because I'm the only one who called her out on it I was the person who got all the... Sure....shit. So... Are you where do you fall in line with the siblings oldest youngest middle? I'm like the middle there's four of us so I have an older sister older brother me and then a younger sister. So they didn't get kicked out you got, middle? I'm like the middle, there's four of us. So I have an older sister, older brother, me,

and then a younger sister. So they didn't get kicked out, you got kicked out. I got kicked out, my brother went to the Marines, came back, got kicked out, and then my little sister started getting it. I was the surrogate, I was the person who got it. Once I left, everyone else started getting it. And my older sister left before all of it.

How's everyone doing now? Good, my brother's still in Marine. I think everyone has, like, everyone chose to cope with everything we went through in different ways. I think it's really difficult. So, you know, for whatever they're doing, it's nice. They're all coming to my wedding. We're all very, very close, which is nice.

Is that the, why you are such a forgiving person, as you describe? Like, where do you think that comes from? And what do you mean by, like, have you ever not forgiven someone? I haven't, no. I've, like, there's so many people who have probably, I have had plenty of people who try

and ruin my career with a YouTube video and I see them the next day at Saddle Ranch and I'm like, hey, how are you? What do you mean that you've had plenty of people try to ruin your career? I just think a lot of times, when I first started getting popular on social media, people would come out with YouTube videos

being like the truth about Alex Warren. And I'm just like- What was the truth? I think the biggest thing was just like, when I was going through that period of my life, there was things I did that I wasn't happy with looking back now. I mean, I just, I did a lot of dumb shit.

So it's like. Just growing up stuff. Yeah, like, and no, like, it's just the thing is like, when you start getting popular in social media, people are gonna be like, well, one time in sixth grade, Alex did, and it's just like. That's where we're going right now? Right, but no, like I just genuinely

am a very forgiving person. I try, I think it's a lot more work to hold resentment and things like that. And I also think like. That is true. I don't know, life's short, people die, and I'd rather not have that on my conscience and be cool with everyone.

When did you discover you had a voice of an angel? I still don't think I have a voice of an angel, which is the funniest shit. No, I just like telling my stories. Thank you very much. I appreciate it. You are making good music. Thank you. I appreciate it. No, I've just been making music since I was like 13, 14. I thought that's what would get me a girlfriend in the beginning,

which was nice that it did not, and it was crazy. But I just wanted to write songs about getting my heart broken by a girl in sixth grade. Cute. I love it. Your first night with your girlfriend, like the first night you spent with your girlfriend, now fiance, you slept in the car? No, we got, I balled out for this one. I got 70 bucks. I took her to In-N-Out for the first time.

And then I got us some Motel 6. Okay. Yeah. What does that say? It's elevated. Every day we go down to like my home town and we drive past and I'm like memories. It's cool. What about the second night?

Car. Car. Yeah. That's love. I could only ball out for one night guys. What did she think about the car? Like what was her perspective and how did you break that to her? I think the biggest thing for her too is like it was so different. Like she's from an island.

What island was she from? Oahu. Okay. Yeah, so I think just- Is that the main one? Yeah. I mean, depending on who you ask. My dad's from Hawaii, so that's what I experienced.

Oh no, shit, really? Like a Honolulu. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The touristy one, yeah. I think that she was super down for it, but I also think it was just because obviously she's from an island. She's now in California. There's no parents to tell us anything.

She had just dropped out of college, left her home, and was kind of like, let's do it. So it was kind of like, it was a fun thing. There was no way that we could get any worse than where we were at. I think she had, she saved up $500 to move out there. I had nothing. We didn't want to dip into that.

So we were kind of just figuring out ways to make money and things like that. And it was really fun. Every morning we woke up and it's like, holy cow, we were four months long distance and now you're right in front of me. It doesn was really fun. Every morning we woke up and it's like, holy cow, we were four months long distance and now you're right in front of me. It doesn't really matter where we're sleeping. Yeah.

That was really bad. I invited silver man to it. Sierra's like, I wanna live in a car with my boyfriend too. So many people are like, God, that's such a red flag that you didn't tell her that you were sleeping in a car. And I'm like, you're fully right. Looking back, I agree.

I didn't know there wasn't a heads up, but at the same time, I don't know, I think there's something really cute about the fact that you guys did a long distance and then get in a car together and be like, well, at least we're together. Well, she's just so rad. She's so easy, going super down for whatever.

So it's like, oh cool. After that, I was like, wow, that's special. Because I feel like not many people would fucking do that. Then you were saying that you needed to find ways to make money. So what was the what was the game plan from there? It was mostly just finding jobs like she got a job. She loves kids, so she got a job at a daycare.

OK, and I started working at a oyster bar. And while we were both working, once we were off or before, I I've been doing social media since I was 11. Like I've been trying to make it as as a musician. And then that didn't work, so I started making content, trying to become like, I was really obsessed with Logan Paul and them. So I'd start making content like that,

with Kover and everything. And yeah, we started making videos, and one day one just blew up, and I was at work, and I went to the bathroom, and I was like, holy shit, so I texted Kover, and I was like, let's try this, and we kept doing it, and I was like, holy shit, so I started, I texted Kovar and I was like, let's try this and we kept doing it and started making money and it took about four months and all of a sudden we were doing pretty fine.

Sorry, did you start with like a series or something about like your day-to-day life or was it like just hopping on TikTok trends? No, I never told anyone I slept in a car. I waited till after. Okay. That wasn't popular back then. Back then, that was like the Jake Pauls and the Logan Pauls

and everyone running around being like, look how rich I am. So like me being like, hey, I live in a car. I feel like was not the status quo at the time. Right. Or not as cool as it is now. It could have been like Bizarro Logan Paul. Sure, it could have been for sure.

But I think the biggest thing is like so many people looked at social media, people were like, wow, their life's so different from ours. And it's like, for me, I was like, I pretended my life was different, but not in that way. Right. So back to the hype. Yeah. The hype house that Sierra was talking about. I've always remember hearing so much about it when it started, like, did it start in COVID? Yeah. Yeah. What was the origins of that? So I had a, if we fast forward from where we were just at, I had a apartment with a bunch of my friends and we would just film videos every week

and it was all the people who let me sleep in their cars before I got my car. So it was fun cause like, you know, they helped me out. So I paid the rent and we all lived together, just a bunch of us. And we would just film crazy shit. Like we would literally, it was ding-dong ditching all our neighbors

and then like running down, we had three staircases and we would like get mattresses and slide down, like just just random. Going to parties and filming the parties and everyone. It was super fun. Thomas Petru, the guy who helped create it, saw my videos and was like, yo, like we should do this on a larger scale. And I was like, oh, cool. So he's like, move out to LA and we moved out to LA. I came up with a name, I introduced him to everyone, got everyone to join the thing and then we said cool, and then we made an Instagram account and just posted the next day and it blew up just from that. Who was all part of that?

Like Charlie D'Amelio, do you know? Yeah, yeah. Addison Rae, I think like all the major, like, Loray. Social media stars, it was big. Yeah, it was big. Did you base that off of Team 10 or was that like a competitor? Wasn't a competitor, it was big. Yeah, it was big. Did you base that off of Team 10 or was that like a competitor? It wasn't a competitor, it was more of like,

there was no content houses at the time. We didn't even, like we just needed a name. That was the thing, like we were already filming content and it was just like an extension of what I was doing. But I think that was the biggest thing, it's like, oh, we need to make an Instagram, what do we name it? And I'm like, oh, let me come up with a name for it.

And I came up with Hype House because I thought of hype was like the new word. And I was like, oh, like this is cool, we'll name it Hype House. And you only know like four people in it, so they're gonna'm like, oh, let me come up with a name for it. And I came up with Hype House, because I thought of hype was like the new word. And I was like, oh, like this is cool. We'll name it Hype House. And you only know like four people in it. So they're going to be like, oh, how is this a Hype House? Who are these people? And they would make you learn who they were.

Nice. Do you think the kind of age of the TikToker influencer is dead? The reason I asked that is it's like, I see, like for you, for example, you're making music now. Like, you know, you came in here as a musician, you have music videos, you have your thing. Addison Rae, she's done some movies.

Charli D'Amelio, she has her TV show with her family. There's been a handful of obviously very big names who have used their TikTok presence as TikTokers and been able to kind of make that jump into something else. You know, like they've you've been able to find your lane. Yeah. And it seems like almost kind of like a reality TV star who like you know might find you know they'll get a bump on a TV show but then you know eventually they have to figure out something other than just being known for being on that TV show.

You know, they can't just live off that for a while and it almost seems like out something other than just being known for being on that TV show. They can't just live off that for a while. And it almost seems like TikTokers are kind of the same or you've seen a lot kind of come and go. It seems like just to be a TikTokker doesn't have a lot of staying power. You kind of almost have to find something else that is your passion that you want to do. Or is that an accurate read by me?

Cause it seems like during the pandemic, TikTokers was all the rage. It's like, oh, I want to be a TikToker. Now it's like, you don't really hear from a lot of these people that were big names. And also like on TikTok, you have people coming out of the, every week there's a new viral person who's all of a sudden blowing up their account

and you're kind of competing in, it's kind of short lived and unless they find their thing, you know, it's only makes- It's a loaded ass question. Yeah. So what do you think? Kind of the guy who started Hype House, what's your read on the state of TikTok as an influencer?

Do you recommend it for young aspiring people who wanna do, like what's, yeah, what's your read on it? I think the music thing came really natural, especially considering I started doing music. So it was like, oh, this is what I've wanted to do since the beginning. And I didn't do, a lot of times people will do it when things are going down and they're like,

oh shit, I need a career change. And I think that's the problem is instead of, like people will have that moment you were just talking about and then it's just that moment and they never, it's like someone who makes music and they put out one song, their first song's a hit and they can never back it up. It's the same thing with social media. It's so, nowadays it's very easy to,

it's all luck obviously, but it's so easy to manufacture your luck now by how often you can post. Yeah, it's more formulaic. Right, so if you just post all the time, they're more likely to have that one moment. You have that one moment, you're like, holy shit, I'm an influencer now.

And then you can't back it up because you have no idea why it happened in the first place. Sure. If you just post all the time, they're more likely to have that one moment. You have that one moment, you're like, holy shit, I'm an influencer now. And then you can't back it up because you have no idea why it happened in the first place. Sure. But to your extent as well, like people do want to be social media stars, but I think all for the wrong reasons as well. I think a lot of them, if you watch a lot of videos, a lot of them are out of touch with reality after they've been in it for a very long time.

They're like, wow, I can't believe, you know, I only made this much off of this video or whatever. Yeah. And I think the biggest thing is like, you know, I think in today's day and age especially in this economy Everyone's like oh I want to post a YouTube video and make all this money, which is cool But like also you'd be in it for the wrong reasons Which a lot of people are in it for the wrong reasons Like I think the whole thing is entertaining to be an entertainer and as you start making more money It's really hard to keep that entertainment going. I guess like one name that comes to mind

I know he I think he was part of the Hype House, like Vinny Hacker. He did the whole, there was a boxing match. He kind of blew up on the internet. People like me who didn't really follow TikTokers started hearing about these people. It seemed like he was all the rage. And the first time I saw Vinny Hacker's name and the longest time was now, you know, prepping for your interview. Now, maybe I'm not following his career, but like, is that, again, for a while, he was all over the place. He was like the hottest ticket in town,

and everyone, he was like, this is gonna be the next young guy, and honestly, I forgot he existed. Vinny is funny. So I actually ran into Vinny this weekend. Vinny never wanted to do this. Like, that's the thing. When I say luck, Vinny does not care about any of this. If it was up to Vinny never wanted to do this. That's the thing. When I say luck, Vinny does

not care about any of this. If it was up to Vinny, he would just play video games all day in his room. But somehow he keeps getting more and more famous. I would say famous in a retrospect of him. People just post when he's out. People just post him when he's out. To a demographic that isn't us, like 14-year- old girls, Vinny is all the fucking hype. Everyone's like, fuck, I wanna. He's a good looking cat, yeah. Dude, he's great looking. He's like the modern day Ashton Kutcher.

But he doesn't care about that. If he really wanted to, he'd go out and do all this stuff. I was in Europe like a month ago and I saw Vinny's face on the side of a building. So like. Oh, good for him. Yeah, so it's more of like, he just doesn't give a shit. If it was up to him, he'd just play video games all day. But it's also like what kind of what you said

where it's like he, it's almost working for him in the sense that it's like his thing is video games. Yeah. And so it's like that's all he cares about. Like he streams a lot and people tune into his stream, but it's like only if you're into video games that you'll actually watch him. Yeah, I don't doubt that.

I'm sure there's other people. It's just more. If Vinny wanted to. He became so mainstream that people like me who didn't follow were here, you know. That was people like Thomas would like be like, if you don't post you have to move out. Like it was like that. So like Vinny had to be able to live with his friends and play video games or whatever.

He had to be posting and had to be mainstream to do all those things. And now that he's not a part of that anymore, he just bought an apartment, bought a ton of cars. He just works on his cars and plays video games. OK, how much did you have to post during the hype house? It wasn't, dude it was so weaponized, it was a problem. Like it's all fun and games when you live with your friends, but at a certain point it became this thing, like we accidentally did it, right?

So when we made the account, we weren't expecting anything and especially the next day it blows up and everyone want, like we start having news channels come to the house, paparazzi start waiting outside the house. It was right during COVID. So no one had anything better to do than watch TikTok. You guys are really keeping the internet going for a while. Well, that was the thing. And so everyone like it was like, we

would make jokes. It's like if you don't post through TikToks, you can't eat because of how hard Thomas was on everyone about posting. Who is Thomas? He's the guy who will take credit for creating a hype house. In my head, he's the guy who like, it's like he's the equivalent of the guy, Lou Perlman, who started like NSYNC and Backstreet Boys,

you know, the guy, the big guy who did all those big boy bands back in the day, who was this kind of a, that was his thing. You know who I'm talking about. I think Thomas is a, I'm not speaking terms with him, but if... Well, fuck it. I hate Thomas. But that being said, he's just someone who wanted to be a part of something very badly

and found himself very luckily in the hands of Hype House. What's his last name? Petru. What does he look like? He's a good looking dude. Is he older? Yeah, he's 26. Can you pull him out? Older than me, sorry. That's not that old. No, it's not older as in that? Yeah, yeah, he's 26, 25. Can you pull him out?

Older than me, sorry. It's not that old. No, it's not older as in that. I'm just saying he's older than me. So how many people would live at the Hype House like at any given time, or what was the largest amount of people? I think we had 20 people at one point.

But we also lived in a 14,000 square foot house with- Like eight stories. 14 bedrooms and people would share a bedroom. Like would there have to be like team meetings or like how do you regulate that many people and like couples, friends falling out? Like how do you normalize that? It's hard because it is like high school drama.

And I think also, yeah, we had 14 people living there but imagine like everyone had like a few friends over. And like, I think that was the hardest part, and especially how it died so quickly, in my opinion, is people just started getting egos and wanting their living situation a certain way, when it's like, you live in a frat house. It was a frat house, but people were like, I want it to be perfect.

I want everything to be perfect in this household. And it's like, there's a party in someone else's bedroom because it's not, it's just crazy. One day, I wake up at 2 a.m. and there's someone throwing a party upstairs. I have Harry Jowsey pouring chick-fil-a sauce on someone's nipples It's crazy. Harry jowsey ran into him over at Coachella. Oh you were there for a minute. Oh cool. Yeah. Yeah, I love Harry I just have the image now of chick-fil-a sauce. That's how I met Harry Styles. Sorry not Harry Styles. You met Harry Styles. I wish That's how I met Harry jowsey

He was I heard screaming and I walk upstairs and drunk Harry Jowsey is pouring Chick-fil-A sauce on my friend's nipples. Which friend? Calling him a naughty possum, it was crazy. I wouldn't last a day. No, yeah, I was like, what the fuck is happening? Is Taylor Holder part of this hypos?

Oh God, yeah. He was. Whatever happened with that? I'm not gonna say anything about that. Do you know? No. Were you sent to see Synthesis? No.

Okay. No, no, no. I have no bad blood with Taylor Holder either. I'd rather not get involved in that. I just remember that he was part of all the rage and then it seemed like... Again, he moved to Nashville, he's doing country music. I saw him at Stagecoast last year. Oh, did you? He dressed as a country singer. I was like, oh, he moved to Nashville, he's doing country music. I saw him at Stagecoast last year.

Oh, did you? And dressed as a country singer. I was like, oh, he's making another shift. Yeah. I love how he's not afraid to say shit. Not so much. I don't care, I've never mentioned. I just figured maybe after a while,

we could get to the bottom of this, like for like three days, it was like, there was gonna be some shit coming out, everyone's talking on TikTok, and then it just all went away. I think the biggest thing is everyone talks and talks and talks, but no one really does anything. So I'll ask you one more question.

Yeah, and I'm gonna answer it in the best media training I can. All right, we'll both do our best. You mentioned earlier that for a while, everyone was trying to cancel you or, you know, kind of, oh, you know, Alex. Not everyone, but a few people. But sure. Yeah, you've had a couple people post videos that, attempting to ruin your career.

Do you think that the stuff about Taylor was more aligned with what you experienced or do you think it was more, you know, there was maybe something beneath the surface that we just, no one can seem to uncover? That is a fantastic question. I will say that it's not a situation where, in my situation, people were making those videos of me to, not to hurt me, but to gain something for themselves. Where I think in this situation, it's less about gaining something for themselves and more about their experiences going not the way that they want it. It's the best way I can answer that.

Experiences not going the way that they want it. I wish I could explain more. That could be something in the beginning. I wish I could explain more. That's the best way I could explain it without getting into it. I wasn't there, is the best answer. I didn't see anything. Do you think he is a good person?

Oh, from what I've experienced with him, I think that he is a good person, yes. That being said, for the things that I've heard about him, I do not think he's a good person. Okay. And do you think the things you've heard about him are true? I have no way to know that.

What's your gut tell you? Like what is your instinct? See, I didn't know him that well. Even though I lived with him, that's the craziest part. There's 20 of you. Well, there's 20 of us and you didn't see each other that often. That was the problem.

But I guess what I'm saying is you know what it's like to have rumors being spread about you. We all know, I know what it's I guess what I'm saying is you know what it's like to have rumors being spread about in you. We all know, I know what it's like. Not to that extent. I know what it's like, yeah. It's more of like, I think, it's not necessarily just rumors, it's also like no one wants to say anything.

And that's like the other thing. That is clear, yeah. So that's also indicative of other things, I think. Someday, I don't- Someday you'll probably find out. We'll get to the bottom of it. It's definitely not gonna be me. The reason I actually thought about him

is because he too was trying to make an attempt in music. And I think some people, I don't remember one day seeing him sing on TikTok. I wasn't sure if it was his real voice. Now you singing bathrooms. And it seems like, well, this is a motherfucker can sing. Thank you. And when it comes to music industry,

specifically with TikTokers and young people, do you have to face criticism and accusations about you using kind of what's the auto tune? Yeah. Rightfully so though. Here's the thing. And I will fully do this. I'll back this to the day I die.

There are so many more people way more talented than I am ever going to be. That's the thing about music though, is like nowadays it really doesn't take you to be necessarily too talented. That being said, I think a lot of people, when they're TikTokers get a huge ego, cause it's like, oh look,

I have X amount of millions of followers. I'm just gonna do this switch and they watch my TikToks, why won't they listen to my music? I've done vocal lessons three times a week for the last three years of my life. I've done guitar lessons. I've learned music theory. I've gone, I've taken classes for everything and anything I can do because I don't want to be just a random person who's like, oh, I can do this. Let me just dabble in it. Like for the last three years of my life, I've been doing everything I should have been to become a musician. And I think a lot of other people will

just go into a room with very talented writers and be like, hey, I wanna write a song about my boyfriend breaking up with me. And then the writers will go to town and they'll sit there on TikTok and just be like, oh, that's a good line. And then they'll just sit there and then they'll go on TikTok the next day

and be like, look at this song I wrote. And it's like, it's crazy. But that's also, that's the music industry. That happens all the time. Yeah, but it must be frustrating for someone like yourself who's putting in all the work. No, not at all. I think the problem, it's just whatever you do.

If you're able to market your song and you can make it look like you're singing it live, fuck yeah. It's good shit. It's all about the audience anyway. If they love it, they love it. Whose music career do you respect the most and what do you love most about Taylor Swift?

Ooh. It's so crazy. My fiance is obsessed with Taylor Swift. You're not? It's not that I'm not obsessed. It's not my, like, I think she's one of the most talented songwriters in the world. I've never just thrown on a Taylor Swift song though

in my car. That being said, it's our first dance song. Okay. It's like a lover. Lover. Yeah, so like that's the thing. Like I will listen to Taylor Swift all the time because Kover's listening to her, so I know the songs and everything. But I'm a Yeah, so like that's the thing, like I will listen to Taylor Swift all the time because Covr is listening to her,

so I know the songs and everything, but I'm a huge, I like to listen to songs that speak more to me, and I think a lot of times it's like a Lewis Capaldi, or I really like Stephen Sanchez right now. I'm just obsessed with like those really like gnarly vocals where talking about dead people or whatever, so it's fun. A regular Edgar Allan Poe.

Yeah, I also like listening to a lot of my friends music like Benson Boone and David Kushner and those guys. I guess what kind of musician do you hope to be like I you know what kind of career trajectory and like do you are there you know there's music we just you like to listen to but in terms of career trajectory and and how you're trying to model your career or what you want for your music career. Do you have any people that you pull inspiration from? I don't know. My whole goal is to be able to sell out whatever tour I'm planning and to be able to like make really good music, which is the most cliche fucking answer. But I don't know. I love Ed Sheeran's work ethic. Everyone

fucking hears about it. He's one of the most talented songwriters. Probably written everyone else's songs. And I think I just wanna work with a lot of the people I grew up watching or listening to. So I think that's the coolest thing. I really wanna have a song with the legends or whatever. Ed Sheeran. Didn't he write a couple of Justin Bieber songs?

Yeah. He's written a lot. He's written a lot of songs. A lot of songs. For a lot of artists. How rich do you think Ed Sheeran is? Oh like the top end of hundreds of millions. Yeah, he just like he sold his own sold out his own His whole tour his whole tour was 1.3 billion dollars that he made and it's just him and a guitar Yeah, it's like the costs are very minimal and as a song you make more writing songs, don't you?

No, you make more producing the song writers actually infam, infamously, do not make a lot of money. Because you can write a third and it's, write a word, get a third. Like this, the saying. Interesting. If you just change a word, you're a writer. Producing is like making the music, like pulling. They make the most money.

Yeah. Besides the artist. The artist makes the most money out of that. Okay. And do you also produce? I've been learning, it's hard. It's really difficult, especially because like, there's different,

they call them DAWs, but different systems that you can obviously edit vocals on and depending on who you ask, they'll say a different one is better. It's just a lot of work. And so being a good music producer is just kinda having the ear for it? You have to understand where the song's going.

So if I'm writing a song, I have a guitar and I'm playing a four chord progression, most likely, and I'm just coming up with a melody and lyrics over it. It's the producer's job to then be like okay what else does the song need, what tempo is this song, what key are we doing in it for the best of the singer. You just put random noises and help they work. Like I've seen videos of Phineas fucking or Charlie Puth switching a light bulb and he liked that and thought it'd be funny so he put it in as a kick I think or a snare. It's just it's it's quite literally just how creative can you be? They're the most creative one in the room, I would say.

Like Benny Blanco. Like nobody knew about him until he put out songs, but he like wrote like all the like Rihanna's hit, Britney's hits, like he's been producing these artists' music for so long, and then it's like, finally gets like that moment. Benny Blanco's set for life, dude. Genuinely.

Because of all the music he's produced? He made God knows how many billboard top it's all of them Justin Bieber Selena Brittany like like we're talking like I'd share in songs that he wrote Benny Blanco produced damn Yeah, but the producer can also change one word and become a writer Who are the top producers in the music industry Jack Antonov Jack Antonov right now? Yeah, because of Taylor Swift, but also he does... Lana, Laura... I'm a stan. Yeah, I can name them all.

Yeah. And there's like legends who've done just like the biggest songs. Can I ask you about your songwriting process? Sure. Like how does it work? Is it like something pops into your head and then you're like, I gotta write this down and build off of it? No, I have a book.

Like I literally, when I'm bored, I'll just go in a book and be like, all right, well, just think, like it's therapy for me. For an hour, I'll just think of all the bad things that have ever happened to me and I write them down. Or good things that are happening to me and I write them down. And then I just try to come up with like,

where I want the song to be. So like, I typically take references. So like, what songs I grew up listening to, what I liked about those songs, how can I make this my own? And then I'll find whatever song idea I've come up with and apply it to whatever song I think would work better. So a song like Counting Stars by Juan Republic is cool

because it's about trying to make it out and it's a very ambitious song. So then it's like, let me find a song idea about mine that would apply to that. And then how do I take what did well in that and what I didn't like in that? And make it your own. Yeah, that's awesome. It's so cool. I'm like the dumbest person when it comes to music. He's like, let's just talk more shit. He's like, so what do you think for White House?

Yes. Yes. I just I'm always fascinated about music because I don't know anything about it. I'm like, I always describe myself as the top 40 guy. Mmm. Okay, you know, don't be like a new song Well, not new I'll be like you ever heard this new song. They're like, it's been out for a couple years Nick I like a mixtape person like all of the hits in one maybe like a now now 34 Compilation type of guy like back in the day Big Jojo see how 50s. She's a big Joe Joe's big Joe Joe's neighbor. She's my friend. Yeah, she's your neighbor Yeah, yeah, I see your cars all the time. I'm like driving past her house. I really need her to take the decals off

It's such a good marketing dude Anywhere she drives people go Joe Joe see one they go damn. I forgot. I'm Van I'm her biggest defender. I'm her writer I'll always have her back. What were your thoughts on her new hit? She needs to she needs to get marketing Fuck whatever you say her marketing is hilarious and awesome regardless of whether it's planned or it's her I love to see when people are like spicing shit up like regardless of whether or not she wrote that song like when people are Like oh she said she wrote that song and it like, she said that this song is about whatever. Like most people when they get a,

oh, so many people take demos. Like if you actually go on Spotify and you check people's songs and you press show credits, she didn't write the song. Other people wrote it and pitched it to her. She said, yeah, I want it. And then she puts it out with her voice on it. And then the writers can also go to the girl

who originally was supposed to have it and she can put it it. And then the writers can also go to the girl who originally was supposed to have it and she can put it out too and give the writers the percent. If JoJo wrote it, then they'd have to get JoJo's approval. Yeah, cause I saw a girl make a video. The Brent Smith girl. Yeah, and some like the JoJo trolls were trying to like, almost like you were saying about you, they're trying to gotcha, you know?

But yeah, it's clear that they don't know. I think a lot of people who are like commenting on that don't understand the industry. How the music industry works. Or like Ed Sheeran writes Justin Bieber's music and things like that. But how does that work for the people who don't? Well, I don't think JoJo licensed the song.

I think JoJo just put her voice on the song, sang the song and then put it out. What does that mean? So like she doesn't own the rights to that song, she owns the rights to her voice on that song. So if someone wants to use her voice on that song, they'd have to ask her for permission, pay her, whatever. But the fact that she's not a writer or producer

means she had no stake in the making of that song. So the writers and producers, like let's say Britt Smith, the girl who put it out just now but recorded it in 2012, she has the rights to that song with her voice on it. So she can post that and not have to ask JoJo Siwa. But she wrote the song. No, she didn't write the song. It was pitched to her in 2012.

It was originally made for Miley Cyrus. Who wrote the song? Do we even know? It's random songwriters. The songwriter's responsible for a lot of the songs on High School Musical and things like that. So why did that girl make a video implying that somehow she was wronged? Wait, which one, Bre?

I don't know. I'm not off to date on that. I just saw that she came up- This is the one about the girlfriend or like the song about having an ex-girlfriend or something? No, no, you're thinking of the Emmeline one. Okay. So the song that she teased-

Despite me being JoJo's good friend, I don't know her entire account of life. No, I'm fully deep in the JoJo C. Watt lore. I love it so much. Okay, so she did a pop-up release thing, right? Where she decided to promote all the songs that she has upcoming. Like get fans excited for it. So we all do it, right?

So she started playing a bunch of these songs and fans recorded it and posted it. And since anything with JoJo Siwa's face goes viral right now, they all went viral. And there's a song that she promoted that had supposedly her voice on it. And the girl who originally wrote that song and made that song never put it out two years ago. So then she sent it out. What happens when I write probably 30 songs a year,

I only put out probably six to seven, depending if I put in an album. What do you do? What do you say put out? Those are ones that you record, you sing, you post. So what do I do with the songs that I haven't done anything, like they're just sitting in a vault somewhere. You can go and say hey to your publishing team and say hey I have all these songs, send

it to whoever you want, let's see who wants it and then I approve who wants to sing on it. Okay. So what happened was- You're like fishing, you're just casting a wide net. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like making money on work that you did that you won't be putting out. I think Emeline, the girl who made the original, I think that's her name and I apologize if I'm fucking it up.

She promoted that song, the one that you're talking about, and it went viral on TikTok like two years ago. Okay. And so when people saw that JoJo was promoting that song, they go, I've heard this before, I know this song. And then they pointed to her and it sounded like the same vocal. And that's why people were upset. It's like you said that this is about your ex when this is already a song and you said you're singing it But it sounds exactly like her vocal. That's why people are upset and but I don't understand why she goes I didn't approve of this you had to have probably known it was happening. Yeah, I feel like maybe I'm wrong

But that would insinuate that she didn't write it What about the same vocal I part I mean, is that a- I don't know. I also didn't, I only know the teaks I watched a video. I don't know that, I'm so chronically online, but I don't go that far. No, I know JoJo was here and she humbly, acted like she doesn't know how to, like for me, anyone who can sing Happy Birthday pretty well

is a good singer to me. I have- Not me. Truly can't sing. It's funny is I can't even sing happy birthday well. There's that pitch that goes up and you're just like, no. But JoJo was here being like, hey, I'm an entertainer. I don't consider myself like the greatest singer of all time. I have no idea if JoJo has, you know,

when she's making her music, if she uses the technology like auto-tune. Everyone uses auto-tune. Okay, so everyone uses auto-tune. Like Adele uses auto-tune, everyone uses auto-tune. Okay, so everyone uses auto-tune. Like Adele uses auto-tune, everyone uses it. Okay. That's the thing. So my question is, is like,

now with auto-tune being such a thing, and I'm guessing there's a spectrum of how much one might use auto-tune. Yeah. Like 1% or 100%. T-Pain to Adele. So is it possible for JoJo, let's say she like sang her song,

used some like auto-tune, but the auto-tune made it seem like so close to the original type of like why? And your answer to her opinion. That would also mean her vocal inflections and tone would have to exactly match her. I mean, you could- Do you think it sounded too similar? When I heard both of them, like, keep in mind,

it's so difficult when you hear a third party, someone filming something coming out of speakers and then posting it and then someone making a video about that. It's difficult to compare, but like, it is possible that they just used her voice as a backtrack, put JoJo's new voice and just put them at the same level so you hear both.

So the inflections are there. Like, that's what typically People do live if they're nervous about a live performance They'll put the tracks which is like literally the exact song like let's say you played my song through a speaker They just play it through the speaker at a show and then they turn your mic up just as loud as the lead vocal So you can't tell and so if like they want a lip sync if randomly at one point you wouldn't be able to tell if They're doing it or not. Unless you're like, no. When a musician or an artist lip syncs, is it lip syncs?

Are they actually singing or are they just like? I don't know, that's a great question. I've never seen it in person. What do you mean? What do you mean, what do I mean? Wait, but if they're lip syncing, are they singing? Let's say if they're lip syncing, which means it's not their actual voice,

but their mic is turned off. Are they actually singing and it's just fucking ass? Or are they pretending to lip sync? I have noticed for the good lip sync-ers that they actually speak, where me, since I don't know anything. So music video wise, we lip sync. We lip sync our music videos, obviously you do.

Yeah, you have to. I don't know. Yeah, you have to. You play the track in the back and you lip sync it, but it's awkward as fuck, because in the room, whatever, so I actually sing and it's like giving the, it's like giving the crew like an actual performance.

I'm actually singing the entire song and it's also great practice for when I have rehearsals. But some people will just pretend to sing. I think the whole thing is like, I think there's such a stigma on lip syncing, auto-tune or whatever on live shows, but at the end of the day, it does not matter if, like for me, I think there's such a stigma on lip-syncing, autotune, or whatever on live shows, but at the end of the day, it does not matter if, like for me, I'll sing without autotune or anything because I like the vocal imperfections and I also like people knowing that my microphone is on,

but there's so many times where I sound like ass, or at least in my opinion, I sound like ass. Sure. And people in the audience are like, that was fucking fantastic, I loved it so much. People who are running a ton of tune and tracks, the audience is still eating it up, being like, that's amazing, whatever. That's all that matters. It's when you start posting on social media, the iPhone compresses the audio,

and you can just tell all the imperfections, whether they're lip syncing or not. Also, when it comes to performers, the dancing. I don't think people... You will not see me dance on the stage. People don't give the dancer, you know, like, to perform. No one gives the dancers props. Well, sure, the backup dancers, but I mean like the Tim Crase when when Justin Bieber's up there

sliding around the dance floor and hopping around and Imagine Mike in that having his moves you try singing Yeah after doing a lap also a lot of times the lip sync like parts of it to get the breath back That's or if like a three-hour set like someone who's doing a three-hour Performance, I hate to break it to you their lip back. Or if like a three hour set, like someone who's doing a three hour performance, I hate to break it to you, they're lip syncing for at least 15%. So even Taylor? Even Taylor will have tracking in the back.

It's impossible to do a three hour show fully live. Because she is a human being. Like she's running, like yeah, she's running around. She's hit, all the high notes are real. All the fucking like, all those big moments and everything is real. It's just like the random in-between verses that you don't necessarily care about

while she's getting her breath back. Everyone does it. That's the thing. I don't understand why everyone gets so much shit for it. There are videos of her and it's like every like few phrases but I feel like typically you see it in like the Midnight's era, which is her last chunk of the show.

So it's like she's two and a half hours in and she's like, I'm dying. Yeah, but it's also like, no one cares. No one's going to care that she's doing that either way because it's like, you're putting on a three hour performance every night. That's insane. Like I got an argument with someone where they're like,

no, it's fully live. I'm like, it's impossible. It is impossible to do a three hour show every night and sing the entire thing and have everything be perfect. I wonder if we're triggering anyone listening. I don't think so. I don't know. Well, even still having a voice after the fact too.

Dude, it's insane. It's impressive as hell. But if it was one three hour show, she would do it live for sure. But if you do it every night and you're on the road and let's say you're sick, you need the extra help. Totally, no, I'm a notorious bathtub singer. So like I'll try to, I think in my head

because of the acoustics and everything that like I'm singing Adele like Adele, I get like a minute and a half in and I'm like, all right, time for me to lip sync. Fatigued. You sing Adele in the bathtub? Yeah, not, not. Where do you sing Adele?

I don't. Yeah. You should try. In the shower, in the bathtub with the door closed. If I could sing, like at all, I would sing all the time. What's so funny is it's a learned skill, that's it. You think so? For sure.

I actually said this to Natalie the other day. We just had a daughter. I want to give her singing lessons. Do it early. It's really nice. Because the only thing is it's all about vocal strength and muscle. So it's like if you are not working out the muscle correctly, you are doing more harm to it. And everyone likes to partake in singing whether they're doing it right or not. And the whole thing is like I never had vocal lessons growing up and I was singing very wrong growing up. And so like I went to vocal lessons and like, okay, we need to fix this. They fully like shredded my vocal cords to then learn what to do. Like

it was a lot of work to get to where I am today. But it's really interesting. It's just a muscle. You have to build the muscle. And if you build it at an early age, it becomes habit and it's also like muscle memory. Well, I'm glad I got that right then. Thanks to Alex letting me know. I feel like every parent, at least back in the day, I don't know what parents nowadays are doing. It's like everyone does a piano, like an instrument. Piano lessons, you learn the piano

and then you decide if you wanna do other instruments. For sure, that's how I grew up. But no one does a lot of vocal stuff and I feel like that's the one skill because I don't know if River was born with the voice of an angel I'm not sure it's unclear yet She seems to have name right she does seem to have good tone. She does match our tone. So we'll see

I heard a whistle note the other day. Yeah, we will see I do have I do have a laughing video where you know She is mimicking my voice. It's super cute That being said even if she is she doesn't have a good voice, to Alex's point, if we get her in voice lessons, she'll at least learn how to be, to 98% of the general population, she'll be able to sing. And so even if it is, now the only thing

I will have to teach her is to not be the annoying person who is pretty decent at singing. And then every time someone's like, can anyone see? They're like, oh my God, me. And they're like, and everyone's like, oh no, not River again, fuck, she's singing. She always suggests creative. You have the next five years planned out, shit.

You know, so, but I do wanna, I wanna, if it were up to me, and it's not necessarily, but before she's really, I will encourage her to do singing lessons to learn that muscle. Over piano or violin or flute. Or both. Do you play any instruments? I play guitar and piano.

I tried learning mandolin. It's pretty much a guitar upside down, so that's kind of fun. But yeah, it's hard, dude. Everything is fucking hard. What's your favorite instrument to play? I like guitar because it's mobile, but singing-wise, I like singing over piano because I'm more accurate. It's the one skill I wish I had.

It's... I'm telling you, you can... I'm not going to take music lessons at this point in my life. It is hard. I don't know. I don't need that midlife crisis trolls. Your birthday's coming up. We'll get you some vocal lessons for your birthday. I'm fine. I'm fine with just being the guy who wish he could sing, you know. I'm all for like reinventing yourself later in life, but I don't know. I don't need to take music voice lessons. That's fantastic. Yeah. So you were on The Bachelor, right? I was.

That's, I remember we, my fiance and I watched it and I was like, are you still with that girl? No. Sorry, I am behind. He's engaged. Congratulations. Thanks. To his beautiful co-host, Natalie, and something that you both have in common, planning weddings, upcoming, correct? You got engaged in 2022?

Yes. Yes. How's that wedding? When's the wedding? Are you announcing the wedding date? Two months. No, I'm not announcing the wedding date, but it's in June. I'll say that.

It's in June. It's in June. It's coming up. It's a big wedding. You have a one in 30 chance to get it right. Yeah. It's 350 people, I think. Whoa.

Yeah. Oh. Big wedding. Larger than ours. Yeah. We just invited like, Not me. We invited everybody. We invited like all our, like some of the Hype House people. like, oh. Not me. We invited everybody.

We invited like all our, like some of the Hype House people. Okay, some who's not invited. I have not said who's not invited. When we hear about it on the internet, cause sometimes those people are like, I wasn't invited to Alex Warren's wedding. I don't think it's any like, it's just. It makes sense that they wouldn't be invited.

I hope not either, because know what's going to happen. The trolls will be like, how could you and blah, blah, blah. And instead, all your wedding content, I think you're going to have trolls up in there and be like, how could you not invite? Thomas, I've been blessed ever since I started doing music. I really don't have many trolls. Like, that's the beautiful part about it.

I think mostly because I make music about real shit that's happened to me. And it's about like my parents passing away or a love interest that is no longer in my life and there's no bad blood. I think the coolest part where like not many people are like oh wow like go fuck yourself like I don't know. Right, right, right. Or maybe I'm just not popular enough to have trolls but I don't know I I'm very blessed about that I think anyone who isn't invited my wedding wouldn't if they have hard feelings about it, I'm sorry. But also I feel like it makes sense.

I think 15.7 million people on TikTok would disagree and 8 million followers on Spotify would disagree. Oh cool. You've got numbers, my friend. People do love your music. She pulled out receipts, damn. Absolutely. 8 million followers on Spotify.

I think that's monthly listeners. Monthly listeners. Sorry, 8,775. It says followers. Oh cool. Then that to me, it seems like an amazing number. What does Taylor Swift get? 100 million.

100 a month. Yeah. You're pretty close. A minimum. I think Taylor Swift's like the number one most listened to person. That's not far off. We're about 92 million away.

Sure. It's not 92 million away. Sure. It's not even close to a quarter. Well, it's all relative, but like. Again, math is not our strong suit here. No, I hear you. No. But it's true. I mean, those are very impressive numbers.

Thank you. I stopped looking at them because I get kind of obsessed with it. Yeah. Yeah, I know, yeah. So I just, I make the music and I fuck off. And you just made a song about your parents. Yeah. About your wedding coming up.

I went on like a little task of just writing two songs, one happy, one sad about my wedding. And so the sad one just came out, we're saving them a seat. I think it's a really cool concept that not many people talk about or post about, but we have a seat at the front. So like obviously my siblings and whatnot,

and then my empty seat for my parents, which is really cool. And also, I'm a big emotional person, so I think I'm just gonna cry like a bitch at my wedding. But yeah. As you should. I wanted to write a song about how I'm saving them a seat at my wedding,

or when I have a child inevitably in the next few years, I'm saving a seat for them to watch it happen, and I know if I look up, they're watching down on me type of thing. So I wrote a song about it. And then the other one is about cover, which is cool. It comes out next month.

Like about anticipating that day. It's called carry you home. So it's kind of like, no matter what, like when we're 55 or 75 or whatever, like I'll still be carrying you home. Like even when I can't carry you anymore. Yeah, it's cool. So a cute little love song and a sad little death song.

Nice combo. Yeah, balance. What. So a cute little love song and a sad little death song. Nice combo. Yeah, balance. What makes your relationship work? Honest to God, I think I got lucky. That's the biggest thing I think with finding relationships and dating, you're just trial. It's one of those like, not a free trial, I wanna say like it's a trial.

You're testing whether or not you guys are compatible. You're also testing whether or not you can compromise with each other. Like for me, if Kover wants something and I don't agree with it, there's a compromise there where I know that we'll find a compromise where in a lot of relationships that I was in before, we couldn't find a compromise that worked with either.

So I think in a relationship and what works so well with us is any disagreement we have, we stop and we figure it out. And we don't let anything like boil up and she says what's on her mind and I say what's on my mind. And also, we're constantly compromising for each other. Or even if we're not compromising, it's like we just understand.

Like she can tell when I'm mad before I'm even mad. It's really cool. Strong communication and understanding. What's your favorite thing to do together? Dude, we're old. I know we're both 23, but I just feel old. We just sit around on the couch watching Criminal Minds with our, we have four dogs,

four Australian Shepherds. So we literally just cuddle up with our dogs and watch TV. It's great. It's fantastic. Did you just get a new puppy recently? No, I got a puppy, our last one for a while was like probably like seven, eight months ago.

Eight months ago, I know I saw the TikTok where she was saying that she wanted another dog. And it was the three of your other dogs lined up together and you. Oh yeah, yeah. It was cute. Thank you, yeah. She loves dogs. But I think the next thing's probably a kid

within the next few years. You wanna be a dad? I really wanna be a dad. I think there's something about losing my dad at a young age, I was nine. And he was so obsessed with seeing us grow up. So he's packed as much as he could and for the time that he had.

And that's where I learned music. He got me a guitar and we all did the piano recitals like you were talking about. And I'm just obsessed with living out the dream he didn't get to. That's awesome. How many kids do you think you want? Two or three.

I think four is a little too much for me, especially. I have four dogs and I can barely handle them. Yeah. I can't speak from experience that a daughter- What kind experience that a daughter is, I just had my first kid. Congratulations. Or now I did, but we had our first child. That's sick. Thanks.

Yeah. And they've got two fur babies. We have two dogs. One of which just got. Steve just got neutered yesterday, lost his balls. Oh, mine's, mine's got to get that soon. Yeah. All right.

P balls. Well, he's been real. Did they give it to you in a cup? Excuse me? Do they do that? You can ask them to do that. Oh, mine's gotta get that soon. Yeah. All right, P balls. I know. Well, he's been real. Did they give it to you in a cup? Excuse me? Did they do that? You can ask them to do that. When I got home yesterday and he was back,

I actually thought like, should we have? So you can ask for that. And like, it's so funny, the vets are so funny. Like I asked for it just as a funny joke because I wanted to see what they'd look like. And she goes, oh my God, yes, of course. I usually like, I usually have a moment with them and their balls. I'm like, what the fuck?

These vets are crazy. They're fully into the whole, they give them their moments and everything. It's not just snip, snip, all right, we're out of here. They're like, it's very sensual. I'm just crazy. I felt kind of sadistic in the weeks leading up to cutting Steve's balls off

because he's been kind of a fuck lately. Dude, I swear it's the balls. It is the balls. It probably is, yeah. It's the balls. But like, and granted, you know, most people neutered their dogs. It's like something.

Responsibility. Yeah, but like it felt like I was like. Punishing him. Yeah, I was like, well, we're gonna cut his balls off for jumping up on the counter. Literally. This is the time you peed in the house. This is sport. That's crazy. the house, this is the sport.

That's crazy. So it's like, it seems kind of aggressive to have cut my dog's balls off for eating the butter, but it's also what we were gonna do anyways. Yeah. But it seems extra cruel. I need to know what did you do with the dog's balls? I didn't get them, she didn't do it.

Oh, okay, I thought you asked for it. She was so down for it, and then after, she just like, oh, sorry. I'm like, what do you do with them? She's like, I ate them. Probably. Harvested. Well, all right then.

Okay, well, are you down to give some relationship advice to a caller? What, yeah, sure. Great, let's do it. It's time for texting office hours. If you love your dog, you gotta make sure you're feeding them high quality ingredients and you can do that with Sundays for Dogs.

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I'm 27 years old and my long-term boyfriend called me last night to say he wants to move. I'm trying to figure out how we can stay together and do long distance. Okay. So when he said he wanted to move, that was out of nowhere, or did you see that coming? And did he invite you to move with him? So I did see it coming. We live in a really big city in the US,

and it's a very intense place to live. There's a lot going on and like, I've known for a while that he's not the type of person that like would do well here. And he basically made the sacrifice to move here for the past two years for my career. And I think now he's coming to the realization that like, he doesn't see himself happy in this environment. And so I think for him, it's more like he wants to be able to travel a bit more. And like, basically, we have to figure out if we're resigning our lease in two weeks. So that kind

of pushed this conversation forward, even though I kind of saw it coming. Gotcha. And where does he want to move? And did he invite you to move, I guess is the next question. So the complicated part of it is so he's fully remote. I'm in the office five days a week. I have a really demanding career and what would be basically a dream job for most people. But I've always told him I'm willing to take a step back from my career and like make that sacrifice

I guess I just didn't know that it was coming this soon And so I think the other part of it is if I'm going to move and like make a huge career sacrifice like I guess I just need like a certain level of commitment from him to be comfortable doing that and like Just uprooting my entire life. And I probably need at least a year to find a job and whatever. That's the other thing. He doesn't really know where he wants to be,

just that it's not here. How long you guys been together? It's a tough thing. We've been together for six years. Okay, six years. All right, yeah. Okay. Holy shit.

And how old are you again? 27. How old is he? So we started dating when we were in college. He's a year younger. Okay. So like the beginning of our relationship was not super serious. Like we were in college. It was more of like for fun. And then I think as we've gotten older, we've kind of evolved together.

I moved to the city that we live in like two years ahead of him while he was finishing school and he was in a longer programs. Like we did two years of long distance already and it was challenging. I mean, we got through it, but I don't know. I viewed, you know, him moving in here is like moving our relationship forwards. I'm just trying to figure out, you know, if I do want to be with him and make this work, like how do I make it work when it does feel like a little bit of a step back instead of forward? How much personal fulfillment does your job give you?

I mean, financially, it's, I mean, really, it's like the pay is fantastic and intellectually it's stimulating. I can feel really proud of what I've done and I've worked really, really hard in school like in my career so far to get here so Sacrificing that is difficult. However, like my job has never been my top priority Like I think having a relationship eventually like getting married and having a family like comes before so it's okay I don't know. I'm willing to sacrifice it. It's just, I guess it would help to know like how long he feels like he needs to

like be in this exploratory phase to like find a place in a routine and a lifestyle that gives him happiness and fulfillment. And like, I don't know. And he says that like, he still loves me. He doesn't want this to be like the end of our relationship. He doesn't want to lose me. And like, so it's just tough. Yeah.

But yet he seems like it comes across as that he made this decision without you. Yeah. Like he made this decision for himself, by himself. And then he kinda gets like, hey, by the way, moving. I know you kinda saw it coming because I don't really like this city.

But this wasn't a decision you guys made as a couple. And it sounds like, I imagine from your POV, it's frustrating because you seem like you would have been more than willing to at least have the conversation. You seem very open-minded. You have this quote unquote dream job. You're willing to give up everything you have. Literally, your quote unquote dream job.

So like, you're not getting that from him. Is that an accurate statement? I think that's fair. I just think that the way I view it is like, he's made the sacrifices in terms of like, you know, he's a super outdoorsy person and we've been living in like a huge city and like he's made massive sacrifices in that regard to be here for the past two years to support the fact that I needed to be here in my career. And so I'm like, maybe this is just like my turn to be like, you know, maybe he just needs like a year and maybe like, you can figure out the living situation, whether that's like

trying to extend our lease and he pays less of the rent, but is able to like travel more and like we can then as a couple, like, and as a team, I've said this to him, like figure out where we want to live and move together. Yeah. How did he, how did he say it to you yesterday? I mean, he texted me like in the morning and was like, I've gone over the lease. Like I just, you know, have a question about it and I think we should talk about it later. And I'm like, cool. And like we, you know, we text her off her all the day like normal and then made a call last night so this is really raw by the way um call last night and he's like I just you know I'm not happy living in this city and like

they've tried different things to like make it so I can be happy here but he's traveled a little bit over the past couple of months and he said like about it, it's like made me realize that like for my life long term, like I need to find like a routine and a lifestyle that makes me happy. And like in this city, I just, it's hard for me to feel relaxed. There's a lot going on. I feel uncomfortable.

And like, it's just, I know that he's not happy here and I see it. And like him being fully remote, we're in a big city in a small space and he is in the apartment all day long, like I get it. So there's nothing that he said. Does he have a plan for this upcoming year? It sounds like he wants to travel and whatnot,

but like you giving up your dream job for no plans put in place, I mean, that's terrifying. I feel like this would be so much easier if you knew what was happening. Or like where he wants to move. The way it's presented right now is that he, he's just like, I'm unhappy where I am, but I also don't know what I'm doing, where we're going,

or what's the next step. Take a leap of faith with me. Well, yeah, there's all that. Yeah, I mean. I also. He's not saying I should move, there's all that. Yeah, I mean, he's not saying I should move. He's saying like, you know, you shouldn't give up your career right away. Like, you know, maybe we like spend some time on par while I'm doing this, but I'm going

to visit a lot. Like I still want to make this work, but like I just need time to like find somewhere where I can truly be happy. And like he says he does picture me in that it's just, but yeah, you guys are right that like he basically made this decision alone. Yeah. And I'm trying to like figure out how to fit into it.

Work with it. There's a lot of like, when he was saying this to you, assuming what you're saying is verbatim, but there was a lot of I in me language in terms of what he was, how he was talking. I need to do this for me. I'm not happy. I want to travel.

I got to figure myself out. You've been in a relationship with the guys, this guy for six years. And there's a lot of people in that position who might say, babe, you know, you know, I don't like the city, but like, I really want us to figure our stuff out. And, and I know we want a sort of family someday and so for you know to do that you know I definitely want to are you open to maybe exploring other options because I'm hoping we can move our relationship together it doesn't sound there was any of that you know so

he does not sound like a guy who knows that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. It's hard, you know, like. Yeah, I mean, and I mean, he's been transparent about that. I think like I've been telling him, like, you know, I do want to head towards marriage. Like that's something that I see for myself and that like I want for us. But he has been transparent in the fact that he's like, I need to figure out happiness in my own life and we need to have a lot more serious conversations

before he's gonna get to that point where he's on that page where he's ready to get married. And at the time when he said that to me, it was hard to hear, but now when I think about it, I agree with him because clearly there's a lot of hard conversations that I think we are maybe avoiding, especially around this. And if he views his long-term future somewhere else, that's a really important conversation. And I wish we had had it three or four months ago instead of right before our lease is up and I'm looking at like trying to find an apartment by myself and like, it's

just very stressful. Yeah, no, it sucks. But I guess the thing is, it's like, he kind of chose to do it this way, you know, and that it does matter. You know, he wasn't, it's, I get the impression that in the nicest possible way, the truth, and I know this is raw, so, but it sounds like he wants to do this on his own. Yeah. I mean, I, any guy, any guy in a six year relationship who was truly afraid about, you know, if his own personal needs and choices were going to potentially cause a rift in a relationship that he truly valued and knew that without any doubt,

that, you know, it's like, hey, I'm not sure if I wanna figure myself out, but the one thing I do not wanna lose is this relationship. You know, so I wanna do whatever I can to maintain that. Like that, this is not the actions of a man who sounds like that. I think he does care about you, and I think he does see potential in this relationship, but that is, it sounds like down on the total, on the priority list rather, of what he's really concerned about.

And it seems like what he realizes is that he doesn't really know what he wants to do in the future with you. All things being equal, it's kinda like, yeah, sure. Eventually I see myself getting married someday and I care about you. But this sure sounds like a guy whose life could be drastically different

three years from now. You've been in a relationship with him in his early 20s. It's in your early 20s. Those are very kind of potentially formative years for a lot of people, especially people who don't, haven't figured themselves out. And especially for young men who like,

I think struggle with kind of a little bit of a identity and want to figure themselves out. And then he has a girlfriend who has figured out kind of what she wants to do. And I think in any relationship, as much as you are rooting for your partner's success, when you are struggling figuring out what you want to do and you see someone else that you're close to, even if it's a buddy or a girlfriend or whatever, it's not that you're not happy for them.

It makes you feel more behind. It makes you, it's like, it's hard not to compare. And the, you know, the, you know, comparisons, the thieves of joy. And so it's like, he's probably struggling with that. So I'm, I'm just, I'm concerned that you are going to be this. The only person really protecting this relationship is you. And I don't want you to give up all the good things you have going for yourself for someone who clearly, his biggest concern isn't preserving this relationship.

His biggest concern is to figuring himself out. And as scary as that, you know, and it sounds like he's very open to the possibility that you might not be in his future. It is very easy for him to say like, I mean, I do wanna make it work with you. Like, of course. But that's not clear.

His actions say that it's not the biggest priority right now. And he's not creating a plan for the two of you. This is what I want to do. And since I've sacrificed now, it's your turn, but it sounds like things are going well for you. You have a dream job and you like where you are. So it's like, these are a lot of things to sacrifice with no promise or no commitment or no,

you know what I mean, like a ring on your finger, whatever it is that's saying that we're taking the next steps if I do this. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I think like, me personally, like I also don't really love it here. And like, there's a lot of, you know, we have a lot of similarities with my boyfriend in terms of like, just things about our personality and our interests that

make it just difficult to live here. But I've chosen to just suck it up for my career. So that's why I'm like, maybe in the end, this like, could be a good thing if I like if I do move a year from now. But like I do, like, I don don't know it's like the question is like should we sign the lease on our current place together and like he's just here a lot less but we still maintain like our shared space or is that like putting me at risk and should I instead like can you afford it on your own place can you afford it on your own um I, I can. Um, I mean, I floated in the idea of like, what if I pay like, you know, a bigger portion of it and you're here like a third of the time and like, that gives you the freedom to like travel and then we can like as a team, like think through like a year from now where we want to live. And that'll give me the time to like also think through like, you know, the job situation, because like, I think like, my life as a whole, I probably would be happier somewhere else. But it's just like, would be really tough to like go from a really awesome job

where we're making a certain amount to like something way shittier, that's way less or like in a completely different field and like wasting all of the effort that I put in. Yeah. It just sounds like you're doing all the work. Yeah. What did he say to this, you know, this kind of flexibility that you were willing to do? Yeah. I mean, he said like, you know, he is like, think about it a little bit, but that like, he thinks that it could work. Cause like for him, the hardest part of being here is in the winter time when it's dark and like we're inside a lot and

he's inside a lot and like there's not a lot of sun and like there's not a lot of things to do outside and like he loves to do outdoorsy stuff and like a lot of snow sports and whatever and he's like you know being here in the summer is actually pretty fun it's like you know maybe it could work like I think for him like having the flexibility to like be here a bit less in the winter like could be a solution that could work for him. I think he just needs to tell me how he really feels about it. Yeah, that's the big thing.

I would love to have been in the room when you were like, hey, well, what if we do this? And what if I pay more about this? And what if I do that? Sometimes people are always like, oh, yeah, I know that sounds great, but is he looking for you to really come up with solutions? Because again, there's a world where he's just like,

I'm really scared about losing this relationship, it's his biggest priority, he knows he wants, but he knows he needs to leave, and all of a sudden he's worried that you're gonna get all mad. And there's a world where he would be so appreciative of just how compromising and how flexible you are with this.

And I'm getting the sense that he's more like, yeah, sure, I mean, that could work. Like it's almost like he doesn't want you to do it because he doesn't want you, he doesn't want to owe you anything in a way. Yeah, I mean, unfortunately, this was over text this morning because like we had a really long conversation last night and I didn't sleep at all.

And then I was like thinking all night about like solutions. Fully sounds like you're the fully sounds like you're fully invested in this and you're trying to find every possible outcome, a compromisable outcome. The issue is it sounds like you're the only one throwing out suggestions and he's giving you the burden of doing all that. Where he's like, this is my plan, this is what I figured out, I'm gonna do this.

I'd love for you to be a part of it, but I haven't made that part for you yet. Where you're like, well what if we do this and what if we do that and what if I do this and what if I do all this compromise? And he's like, yeah, it might work. It's the way it's coming off at least. And I just don't think it's fair to you.

I think you've spent the last two years of your life trying to make a dream job work in a not ideal location for your relationship. That being said, yes, he's put up with, his compromise was coming with you even though he's an outdoorsy man, even though he's all these different things. I just don't see how this is continuously supporting you

by doing this. And if you wanna make long distance work, make long distance work. I did long distance see how this is continuously supporting you by doing this. And if you want to make long distance work, make long distance work. I did long distance for a really long time. The problem is, is like, is he going to put in as much as you're putting in long distance? Is he going to do the compromise with you to make the relationship work? Or is he fully, I'm just focusing on me and I'm going to do me and I'm going to finally after the last two years of my life put myself first, which again is not an issue either. I just don't think he's being very upfront with you. I mean, he did say that verbatim, like, basically, like, I've realized that like this is something

where I do need to put myself first in this. Like he said that to me, but at the same time, he's like, I still want to make it it work I guess I'm just trying to figure out how we can make it work out together and I think the harder part of this is he said that last part or you said that last part which which part I want to still make this work yeah yeah together he he did he did okay and like he's out of town right now for like a legitimate reason that I fully support. But I didn't tell him like, look, I really need you to come back because we need to talk about this. And, you know, he was even apologetic that like this conversation happened over the phone and that it happened like two weeks

so far, at least is up and like, he had this conversation with you. A lot of talking to do. He had this. He brought this whole topic up while he's been out of town? Yeah. Did you guys talk about this before he left? No. Not really. So, I mean, he's been thinking about this

long before he told you about it. That's a concern. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I've been so busy with work that honestly the lease renewal coming up kinda slipped my mind, but I am usually the one that's more of the planner in the relationship. So I like, I did bring it up when it was, when he was in town and I'm like, Oh, the, you know, the

lease signing is coming up. Like, do you still want to like live together and date me basically? And he was like, he was like, yeah, of course. Like, I think we should just think through like, you know, other apartments that might be available and like decide whether like, yeah, of course. I think we should just think through other apartments that might be available and decide whether, I don't know, his response to that made me seem like he just wanted to make sure we were looking at all of the options where we currently live. I didn't know that he also meant options

that are not with me and not here. Well, I'm sorry going through this, this sucks. My recommendation would be, I mean, obviously you're going to have to talk to him and things might change, but based on what we know now, and I think it would be unwise for you to rush into a decision that could drastically alter your life and your career and your personal life. There's a lot of, you know, you're talking about a major life decision that you wanna get right.

So based off Eth alone, I think the fact that he dropped this bomb on you two weeks prior to your lease, I would hate for you to feel forced to quit your job and agree to move with him for someone who hasn't even made it clear he wants you to move. And the more you talk, the more you seem unclear. That's definitely not happening.

Great. OK, well, glad we're on that page. I think you just let him do his thing. You know, I guess what I'm saying is like, probably makes sense to if he's going to be traveling a lot, as much as it sucks to move, maybe look for a place that you can afford on your own. And if you if you guys maintain this relationship long distance, when he visits, you guys can snuggle up in a smaller apartment that's more affordable to you.

But it's kind of like one of those things where you kind of let it go, so to speak, and see if it comes back, because I wonder once he moves, like you can do all the planning you want in a long distance relationship, but until it's long distance, you don't really know how committed you both are

to making this work. Yeah, I'm just scared you're gonna make drastic decisions that you can't go back to. If in that whole retrospect, I think he needs to figure out what he wants to do. And if it was me in that position, I'd probably let them go do what they need to do, find the compromise,

but don't alter your life too much to, you know, keep yourself protected too. Right now, he's putting himself first, and it sounds like you're trying to put him first in your life as well. But if he's putting himself first and he's focusing on him, you're carrying the relationship in that aspect. I feel like you need to do what's right for yourself

as well, and if it's the relationship, then yeah. I think the biggest thing is if you prevail out of this long distance thing, it means your relationship's meant to be. Yeah, I mean, that's also what he said. Like, you know, like this is something he needs to do, but like, if it's something we get through, that we get through, like then truly it is meant to be.

And he also did say to me, like, I don't want you to, like, abandon your career right away. Like, I think it makes way more sense for you to, like, stay. And I know you can't really, like, leave. And so, like, he's not expecting me to, like, drop my whole life. And like, it just makes no sense. And like, so we're both on the same page with that. I would I

Would pay attention to how much compromises you are offering I Would kind of almost follow suit says like all right you need to do this. I support you I understand but because you are prioritizing your personal needs I guess I just kind of need to do that as well. And I'm really curious how he responds to that, right? If that doesn't scare him, then I think you need to realize that this guy really isn't, you know, all that, right? He's then his concerns really are him, you know?

And if you have been in a relationship with a guy for six years and he is not afraid to move at the risk of what that might do for your relationship, at least something you should know and acknowledge. Because I don't want him to move, be doing all this traveling, finding himself. Yeah, you didn't quit your job, you're bogged down and you're working hard, but you're putting all this effort into maintaining this long distance relationship. And at the end of the day, he's really just not.

And then you invest the next six months of trying to make this long distance relationship and you're gonna go through different stages of grief and breaking up when he's moving further and further away from you. I almost would rather see you start testing that now and you just kind of start making independent choices because that might be like, wait, you know, I almost would love to him to be like, well, are you sure? You sure you don't want almost like

see if he's almost worried that, you know, because of his decision, if your actions start changing, which it would be normal if they, he's not worried about you leaving them, I guess is what I'm trying to say. He's operating with a lot of confidence that he's gonna be able to do what he does and that you are going to essentially wait around. And he's holding all the cards and all the power. And I'm not saying he's taking advantage of it or he's being Machiavellian about it,

but it sounds like he's very much operating knowing that you wanna make it work with him, you wanna be with him. And he is kind of like, well, you don't have to, you know, you don't know you get what I'm saying? He's just, he is not afraid to lose you right now. And I think he needs like, and you are afraid to lose him. And I think that should be more equal. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he said, when we talked, like, he doesn't want to lose me. He said those words. But I mean, I feel like my actions have started to change it a little bit. I mean, I told him that I have like, we had this conversation last night.

I'm seeing apartments by myself tonight. Yeah. That's good. Please create some sort of like backup plan for myself. And I told him that I said, like, you know, I floated the idea of like, we continue our lease or like, I'm about like, whatever, but I'm just, you know, I need to find a place to live. Yeah. Well, again, I'm sorry, this sucks. I mean, it's how you're going through this because I feel it's one of those things where I don't think you're getting a hundred

percent honest answers from him. And I feel like your instincts recognize that and you're trying to maintain hope for the relationship while also making sure you're taking care of yourself and that's a lot of emotional strain on you. Do you think I should have hope that like after something like this we can come out the other side and like... Sure anything's possible. I haven't worked out but... Anything's possible. I don't want to tell you not to have hope but I do think you need to be realistic about how much hope. I think it's just as likely, maybe even more,

that once your boyfriend goes out and finds himself, his new life may not fit with you in it. And the reality is, is like, this is one of those things where you two might be really good for each other, but you might not be each other's person. Because like not being compatible in terms of career or where you guys wanna live is like a major thing. It's like a, it's a non-negotiable, so to speak.

And you guys might really care for each other. You guys, I don't know if you're each other's first, but you've been in each other's lives very early on in your relationship. It's a six year relationship. It's been like, what, a third of your life. It's been like what a third of your life almost close to it a quarter of your life. So like there's clearly a lot of care and consideration and that's hard to leave. But right now he his priority is he even said is him and figuring himself out and he has no idea what he wants to do.

And I think that's a very risky proposition has no idea what he wants to do. And I think that's a very risky proposition for you to go into this with a ton of hope that he finds himself and still wants to include you in it. So as hard as it is for me to say to you, I think you need to be very realistic about that and let him give you reasons to hope rather. And I don't think your hope should just be based off of your history. It should be based off of his actions. No, that makes sense. It just sucks all around. I did tell him, if we do do this, it's going to be

hard and I'll need a lot from you. But I guess I kind of just have to give him the chance to show me that and see how it goes. And if it's like too painful for me, then I'll have to just make the hard choice. Yeah. And I know this is the last thing you want to hear right now, but this might be something that you realize was the best for you too. You may find that you're able to find yourself in a little different way when you, you know, whether you guys maintain, you know, because even if you, he moves and you try to stay together,

you will, a lot of your life will feel like, you'll feel like a single person again. And I wonder, you know, you might hate it at first, but like, don't be afraid to take advantage of this opportunity, I guess is what I'm saying. Yeah, I mean, I think that's something that's important is like, I think one of the reasons why he's been unhappy here is because a lot of his friends have left,

he's been struggling to find hobbies and things that he likes to do and find his own happiness in life. And I get that. And I think also me, I also in some ways have become a little bit codependent on him for not being lonely. So maybe being by myself will help me learn how to be alone.

It sucks. I'm sorry. Well, listen, just keep talking with them. These things tend to work themselves out. But like right now, this is like you said, so raw, and you're just dealing with this. I think just be honest and communication so important. That's the biggest thing, and especially in-person communication. If you are able to even do that, I would definitely just say, I mean, we're obviously not in a relationship.

We can only give you advice on what we've heard, but just do what's best for you at the end of it, because he's doing what's best for him. And be clear with what you want. Don't try to appease him or say the things that you think he wants to hear. Like have an honest conversation about where this is going and like what it is that he wants out of this.

Yeah. But you're gonna be okay. Yeah, I mean, I've just, I guess, struggled to be like putting my needs first. Because I also recognize that sometimes I, you know, love your partner, sometimes you put their needs first. That was kind of my point about like, this might end up being something you will appreciate

more than you realize down the road, because it is, you're right, emotionally draining to be in a relationship with someone who constantly reminds you that they're unhappy or they have to find themselves, they don't know what to do. And then I don't think you fully realize how great it might be to be in a relationship

with someone who loves what they do and feels confident about what they do. And they're offering you emotional support when you need it. And right now, you're the one, sounds like you're always there for him and he's just too unhappy to be there for you. As much as you might care about it and love him,

it might not be, there might be something much better for you out there. You just have to be willing to try it out potentially. Yeah, I mean, I think I'm gonna at least try to find a way to make this work. Basically, I just have to see through his actions how it goes and if it's not working, then it's just not working.

Yeah, I honestly- I think it'll be obvious. There's no harm in trying long distance at first, but I just would be, I would check in with yourself pretty regularly to see if it's actually working. Yeah. All right. Oh, that makes sense.

Well, sorry, you're going through this. It's definitely a bummer. But keep us posted on what happens. And I think you're going to be OK. It's just right now you're just it's sad, you know? Yeah, sad and stressful, but I'll get through it. You'll come. You definitely will get through it. All right. Well, keep us posted.

Thank you for the call. Again, sorry you're going through this, but I'm very optimistic for you. Thanks, I appreciate it. All right, take care. Oh, sweet girl. I thought that was fake in the beginning. No. No.

When you guys started, I was like, oh, it's probably like an actor or something. That was real. No, yeah, people call in with some pretty earnest problems. Bro, I thought that was fully fake. That's insane. Nope, they're all real, yeah. Any tips for long distance? It's hard. I think that's fully fake. That's insane. Nope. They're all real. Yeah. Any tips for long distance?

It's hard. I think that's what makes and breaks relationships. Make it short distance. It's more of like, that's the really testament. That's a real testament to how your relationship will go. If you guys can make long distance compromise works. Cause it's easy to compromise with someone right in front of you.

So much more difficult if they're thousands of miles apart. It's also the other way around too. It's one thing to go start off long distance to come together versus be together for six years. And then, yeah, yeah, poor thing. I know Alex, we appreciate your time, man. Thank you very much for having me. This was fun.

Yeah, I enjoyed having you. Can you please let my audience know where they can find you? Enjoy your music, you know, all the great things you have coming down the pike. Sure. Go check out my music. I hate plugging myself. It's the worst thing ever. Instagram handle.

We're making you do it. Just Alex Warren. You can check me out anywhere. Okay. Alex Warren. All right. Well, thank you guys for listening. Don't forget to send in your questions at ask what?

Ask Nick, right? I forgot. At ask Nick at the file files.com for all things texting, office hours, mediation, asnick, you know the drill. We will be back on Monday. See you then. Bye.