The Viall Files - E743 Our Dream Wedding & Nightmare Honeymoon + Going Deeper w/ Ava Max

Episode Date: May 2, 2024

Welcome back to The Viall Files: Going Deeper Edition! To start things out, the household gets together to talk about Nick and Natalie’s wedding - from the venue, the flowers, the outfits, the first look, the ceremony, reception and more! We also dive into what happened en route to their honeymoon that derailed their plans. Then, we talk to Ava Max about her heart being fragile, the world ending, music inspirations, songwriting, and her love life. We also touch on other artists’ careers and why it’s so important to be consistent and keep working. We also have a Texting Office Hours caller who went through her boyfriend’s phone and found him DMing girls and talking to his ex. “Words are like weapons…the noise doesn’t matter.”  Start your 7 Day Free Trial of Viall Files + here: https://viallfiles.supportingcast.fm/  Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to [e-mail] to be a part of our Monday episodes. Listen To Disrespectfully now! Listen on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/disrespectfully/id1516710301 Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0J6DW1KeDX6SpoVEuQpl7z?si=c35995a56b8d4038 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCh8MqSsiGkfJcWhkan0D0w To Order Nick’s Book Go To: http://www.viallfiles.com  If you would like to get some texting advice on Office Hours send an email to [e-mail] with “Texting Office Hours” in the subject line! To advertise on the show, contact [e-mail] or visit https://www.advertisecast.com/TheViallFiles  THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: Sportingsmiles - SportingSmiles serves the entire United States and they've got a sale going on right now where you can save 10 percent on all orders with promo code: Viall10 Hinge.com - On Hinge, there are no rules, timers or games. If you’re feeling inspired, give Hinge a try. Download Hinge today and find someone worth deleting the app for. Ibotta - Right now, Ibotta is offering our listeners $5 just for trying Ibotta by using the code VIALL when you register. Just go to the App Store or Google Play store and download the FREE Ibotta app to start earning cash back and use code VIALL. Vessi Footwear - Elevate your spontaneous activities with Vessi’s StormBurst/Weekend shoes together with our Westerly Coach Jacket. Discover more at https://www.vessi.com/VIALL Get your pair today to get an automatic 15% off your first purchase at checkout and be ready to stay cool and dry. Episode Socials:  @viallfiles @nickviall @avamax @nnataliejjoy @ciaracrobinson @alison.vandam @dereklanerussell @leahgsilberstein @justinkaphillips  Timestamps: 00:00 - Intro 01:55 - Nick and Natalie Talk Wedding 05:44 - Welcome Party Theme29:00 - Planning 40:35 - First Look 44:00 - Wedding Dress 49:28 - Ceremony 59:44 - Reception 01:29:20 - Honeymoon 01:52:41 - Ava Max Interview Begins 02:43:33 - Texting Office Hours 03:21:38- Outro 

What's going on everybody? Welcome back to the most special episode of The Vilephiles going deeper edition slash weddings edition slash honeymoon edition slash we're in love we're married I'm a husband you're a wife I have a wedding ring on my finger yeah yeah how's it going we are recording from our studio in Los Angeles, which if you were watching this on YouTube, you might be like, are they, why aren't they on their honeymoon? Well, we'll get into that.

We will get into that later in the episode. We have so many stories to share with you, and we are so excited to share them with you. Oh, by the way, the household's here. We got Derek at the desk, who was at the wedding. We got Allie back in Minneapolis, St. Paul. Excuse me. Minnesota. Any of them.

You wanna give her street address too? Sweet boy. Justin Scooter's taking care of her baby right now. And Sierra, who also attended the wedding, is with us as well. Well, I know we're gonna get into our wedding and talk about all the beautiful wedding experience, but our guest today is Ava Max, which will follow us talking about our wedding story

and our honeymoon experience. And we filmed this episode right before we left for our wedding. So there's a little bit of a callback in terms of where our state of mind was leading up to our wedding. Ava was a wonderful guest. We really appreciate her coming on. It was such a joy to talk with her. And we are excited to have you here, that interview.

But before we do, we have to obviously get in to the wedding. Our wedding was fucking awesome. Yeah, humbly speaking. Humbly. It was the best wedding. Humbly speaking. And I just, may I start, dear?

Please, please. Humbly speaking, and I just, may I start dear? Please, please. I say this as the person who was less involved with the planning process. Emphasis on less. Certainly I was there for the invoices. Oh. Yes, yes.

But leading up to the wedding, there is some, you know, like, I hope this goes okay. You know, like we did this obviously on Nellie's family's farm. So we had a blank canvas, a beautiful, stunning, gorgeous blank canvas. But like we didn't do this at some sort of wedding venue that like does weekends. Yeah I think that was definitely like a challenging part of like it's not a wedding venue this is like a working farm that like my family lives on so it was like when we started the process of are we gonna get married here like I was walking through with our planner Angela who's amazing and Amy the

florist at Harvey Designs she was also amazing and we were just walking through and they were kind of like, okay, well, should we cover this with florals? It was like a pump house. And should we, you know, take this water trough and move it somewhere? And it's just like, you know what, let's not try to cover every inch of this venue with florals. Let's just like let it be what it is and it'll be fine. It was stunning.

Basically back to the blank canvas, it was like, man, I hope it all comes together because there's just a million moving pieces. And it was just like, I was over the moon just like the whole week in long when like, wow, it really came together, man. It really, it was stunning. I mean, I was not only while getting married,

in the moment, in love, and just had the best weekend ever, but I was just so impressed with the party that Nally threw. We had a lot of help, obviously, and we'll talk about that, but at the end of the day, this was Nally's vision from the beginning of this planning process. She had a clear vision of what she wanted. I had some ideas in my head of like how this could go. Which Nick definitely gave maybe three weeks before the wedding. He's like, oh, I have all of these amazing ideas. What if we did this and what if we did that?

I was like, well, that's a really good idea. But I still had ideas. Put it on the fridge. I more meant I had ideas of what your vision would look like, per se. Oh, what did you think? What it ended up being was the too good to be true version. It was like, well, I hope,

like I think it could go this way, but I don't wanna, I wanna keep my expectations chill. You know what I'm saying? Like at the end of the day, we're just getting married. All that really matters is, you know, I say I do, she says I do, we're in love. And like whatever chaos happens, it's fine.

It's gonna be fine. But I was just the whole weekend almost just for like, this is just so, I was like a guest at my own wedding being like, this is the best fucking party I've ever been to, you know? Like, and we had been to a lot of great weddings now and I had taken notes here and there. For example, one thing, we didn't have a sit down.

We didn't have tables, we didn't do a dinner. A seating chart. A seating chart. We had food constantly being served, ready for people to enjoy. We wanted our guests to have fun. We didn't want our guests to be waiting around and getting antsy.

We got that idea from Ben and Jess, their wedding. Okay. So this is the whole, like, that was the first time we had noticed that, you know? So we took that idea from them. And so we had been to a couple different weddings and we had a few no's. And we've been to some amazing weddings.

I was so proud of, she's an artist. She is an absolute artist. I think a lot of people are kind of doing this like Western theme for their weddings, which we weren't jumping on theme. We weren't like, oh, let's just be like everyone else. I obviously had always wanted to get married on the farm, which is owned by my sister. It's not like something that like, like, again, I did, up poor I saw some comments being like I thought she was poor now She has this 300 acre farm like no my sister married a surgeon and she works extremely hard And he works extremely hard and they like got this farm and they've been in my family for 20 years And I definitely grew up going there. She works extremely hard. She runs that entire farm by herself and she, it's-

Truly, she's a- My sister, Amanda, she's a legend. I don't know if any of y'all met her, talked to her at the wedding, but she's insane. So- Like in a good way. In a good way, yeah. So I always wanted to get married there

and then we're on a farm, so it just felt right to like really lean into the country of it all. We're in the middle of Georgia. It's stagecoach weekend. I'm sure some people were sad to be missing stagecoach. So you know what, let's have all of these people from LA, Wisconsin, New York, put on cowboy boots, put on bolo ties, wear wear fringe and suede and like

get on a mechanical bowl and eat fried okra and bold peanuts and like get them out of their element and like bring baby sheep and miniature horses and like the miniature horse. There were goats, there were ducks, there were turkeys, it's they were animals, there's a crocodile. There's a crocodile? Yes. The pond has a crocodile. It was, yeah. I'm glad you don't have. So I did just wanna-

You know that now, we didn't wanna spook our guests. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's why our welcome party was the theme Country Chic. Which I didn't know when we planned our wedding day, as you now know, it fell on Stagecoach. It also fell on the NFL Draft Weekend, which for many people listening, not important. It is my Christmas.

It is my favorite weekend of the year. Was your wedding good luck for the Packers? Absolutely, I felt like they did good. But we planned our weekend based around the Almanac. So when we knew we wanted, once we just finally decided to have it at Nellie's sister's farmhouse, it's like, well, when should we have it?

The only thing, like, I think a lot of, you always hear stories about women thinking about, like, so I've planned my wedding since I was whatever age, whatever. I haven't done much of that, except that I have always, the only one thing when I thought about my wedding was I wanted it to be black tie. That was it.

You know? Wherever my wedding was, I just, I wanted it to be black tie. I'm a suit guy, I've mentioned this, like me wearing a suit or a good tuxedo, like I'm not a car guy, I don't hunt, I don't fish. Like that's how I feel my most masculine. It's like in a really good tuxedo.

And I just think it's one of those things that most people don't get an opportunity to do. And I'm sure some of our guests, when they found out it was black tie and they had to go get a tux, were like, oh, my mother, fuck me. I mean, it's just like... But I tell you what, everyone looked phenomenal.

You know, everyone looks good in a tux. I don't care who you are. And to see like all of my friends and all our friends everyone looks good in a tux. I don't care who you are. And to see like all of my friends and all our friends like dressed up in a tux, like everyone just looks nice. You know? Not everyone was in a tux. There were some in gowns. Oh.

What? I'm just saying like the women were in gowns. Oh, yeah. Like Sierra and I weren't wearing tuxes. Yeah, and it was so great to see everyone at our wedding wearing a tux. Everyone who wore. We made every man, woman, child, animal had to be in a tuxedo. Yeah, we made everyone wear a tux. Yeah, it was so great to see everyone at our wedding wearing a tux. Everyone who wore. Man, woman, child, animal had to be in a tuxedo.

We had everyone wear a tux, even the ducks. No, but for all the people who wore tux, they looked truly fantastic. We knew there would be one asshole who did it. There always is. And it turned out, and it was one of my friends. Nick thought it was gonna be one of your down home, but I was like, no, I don't think so. And it was one of Nick's responsive friends. And it was the of my friends. Nick thought it was gonna be one of your down home, but I was like, no, I don't think so.

And it was one of Nick's Wisconsin friends. And it was the absolute person I knew. It made so much sense who it was, but God bless him, I love him. But yeah, I think everyone looks good in a tuxedo. And it's just like, it's such a vibe. When you take a step back and you kind of just look at the atmosphere,

you just see all the men and some of the women wearing tuxedos. It was like such a, it was awesome my that's the only thing I cared about. But back to planning the weekend of our wedding, it was going to be an outdoor wedding on a farm. So we looked at the almanac, you know, it's okay, it's going to be a black tie wedding. So most of the men are going to be in tuxedos, the most it's supposed to be black, it's going to be outside. It's Georgia. There's a lot of humidity. It could be it could be very warm. It could be rain. There's a lot of humidity. It could be very warm.

It could be rain. There's a lot of wedding elements. So we busted out the whole almanac and we try to figure out temperature wise, what would be the idea of temperature for our wedding? Like low seventies. I think you guys nailed it. Sixties, whatever. It was the wedding was the weather was people love to talk about the weather when they don't

have things to talk about. And then when, but when the weather's really good at a wedding, when people are looking for that opening line, that conversation started with a lot of people that don't know, boy, people talked about the weather like fucking crazy because it was so fucking perfect. And it even sprinkled, at 12 o'clock when I got to the farm, I got out of the car and I was like, oh my God's sprinkling I looked up it was so cloudy but then everyone's like when it

rains on your wedding day that's good luck so it was like we got the good luck but we also got the beautiful weather. But yeah so after we set the date then it was like wait what's that date and I'm like oh it's the NFL draft oh it's stageco stagecoach. It's like, oh, whatever. But yeah, we had not planned on that at all. So in case anyone is curious, Nick has already informed me that on our first wedding anniversary, the draft is in Green Bay. It's in Green Bay.

So that is where we will be spending our first wedding. This is historical for the Green Bay Packers. They're hosting the NFL draft. The lake house that we bought, it's less than an hour away from Green Bay. I was thinking Spain. Someone say that's destiny though. A lot of things falling in place.

But also it's not for sure that the NFL week, the draft will be on the same. Look up the date for the NFL draft 2025, Justin, for me or Ali. Let's realize. And they're like, and it is April 27th. And it is indeed April 27th. No, no, technically your wedding is, your anniversary is going to be on a Sunday this year and it ends Saturday the 26th. Well, we will.

We will be there for the weekend. Well, not necessarily. You can book a flight. We'll figure it out. Yeah, you can, you can get pretty far in a day. weekend. Well, not necessarily. You can book a flight. We'll figure it out. Yeah, you can get pretty far in a day. Yeah, we realized that.

You could get to Minneapolis. You could get some things in place. Hallie's like, we could all do a little something. Yeah, there's some nice hotels. So what did, I'm curious of like, obviously I knew what the welcome party was going to look like and be like I designed it from scratch and had all these ideas.

But for the three of y'all that were there walking in. Really the four of us, because when it came to our wedding, I knew a handful of the details, but when it came to the wedding party, I knew we had a mechanical bowl, but I didn't really know much. So I walked in and I was just like over the moon,

just being like, oh my God, this is such a cool welcome to our party. This is the greatest party of all time. I was just such an aw. First of all, we had the like old Savannah trolley tour buses bringing everyone from downtown Savannah to the farm, which I don't know if that went smoothly. Such a nice touch.

Oh. Such a nice touch. Oh. Such a nice touch. We were actually, we met up with Nick's family out front and like Katie and Dana, we're all staying at the same hotel. And it was so seamless, so easy. And it's just so cute. These like white little trolleys and we're sitting there on the little benches. Everybody has their drink and they're like,

where are we going? And then we finally pull into the farm and it was just so picturesque. You guys like, we got out and we're like, where are we going? And then we finally pull into the farm and it was just so picturesque. You guys like we got out and we're like, oh my god, like there's like the white picket fences. We're looking at horses and like I'm that type of person because I'm from Southern California so driving along the freeway I'm like horse cow and I'm like oh my god horses cow. Like I was crying like it was so beautiful and everybody like dressed up to a tee for this theme for the cowboy chic, or Western chic. Country chic. Country chic. Yeah.

It was like, everybody killed it. Like where I was just- They really did. Yeah, and then when y'all came in, first of all, Natalie's dress, everyone like. Amazing. Speechless, speechless. Like, I'm not even kidding you, like I was like, I could cry for you

because it was that beautiful I love the welcome party because I just really enjoyed just how Welcoming it was but I liked that it was a situation where you're going in and just felt like such good energy It felt like you can do things at your own pace You can talk to who you want to talk to it just just like, it wasn't like, here's a schedule, like go along with it. It was very like, everyone just got chances to mingle. It was honestly like really awesome.

No, it was really fun though. You know, when did welcome parties like become a thing for weddings? I think it's because so that on the wedding day, you're not having to like talk to every single person. So it's like welcome party is like, everyone comes, you get that out of the way. So on the wedding day, you're just like enjoying it.

You're not having to like, thank you so much for coming and like, oh, how was your trip? You know, you're not having to like have that small talk. It's a really nice touch because yeah, for those reasons, like you would have thought that we would have like, that we sent a message to all our guests saying like, well, you know, just make sure you mingle and you're very friendly.

You know, it's like, it's, it would, it's as if we instructed them to do so because like everyone really took advantage and you know, we were going around and everyone, like every time we would say hi to someone, it was like, oh, we just met so and so and everyone's so nice and oh my God, this place is beautiful.

Like, like everyone made us feel like they were coming to our wedding and they got a surprised bonus tour of a real life Yellowstone farm. They're like, oh my God, I did not expect this. It's like something like someone who watches Westerns their whole life, pays for a real life immersive experience at a farm and that's what they got out of our wedding.

And again, we have a million thanks to like Annaleigh's sister, Amanda and her husband, John, but it was a really cool feeling to see our guests enjoy themselves so much at the welcome party. Oh yeah, everybody was so nice and every single person that I met or I like met loosely, just so kind. And then I love how you guys had just like this gorgeous long table in the center.

And the food, not only was it delicious, but it was just like, you would just sit down and somebody would come up being like, Hey, is anybody sitting here? And the next thing you know, like we're best friends. Love. That was my dream. I got, I, so this, I really wanted this like really long, windy, they call it a serpentine, serpentine table. And I really wanted it just in the middle of the pasture, super long, super windy with a bunch of drapey linens on it and the candles and just have, yeah, the food. We had barbecue and pulled chicken or shredded chicken and fried okra, mac and cheese, fries, boiled peanuts. That mac and cheese.

When I saw a photo of it, was like yeah it was so good. It's delicious. So good. First time having boiled peanuts ever. I heard it was like I've heard so many funny stories it's so funny because my best friend slash maid of honor Chambliss her family owns a produce stand in Savannah called Davis Produce and very well known very popular popular. And so they sell bold peanuts. And I was like, I need y'all to like bring the bold peanuts. Her cousin, Randy, was like going to come out, have the like pot, like give people like instructions on how to eat them.

But it didn't like turn out that way. And he was so he was like, I really wish like that is how it would have happened, because I saw people with like knife and fork, like cutting it. I saw people like city slickers eating, eating the whole thing. Allie, is that what you did? You just swallowed the whole peanut. First of all, she took it off my plate. Didn't watch how it was being done.

No, I just, I don't know. I just reached over to Sierra's plate and I grabbed something. I threw it in my mouth and then I crunched down several times. I was like, something's wrong. Like, this isn't right.'t right like doing boil it more like It's chewy. Yeah, she goes. Are you supposed to eat the shell and I just go do you ever? Literally do you ever what a great Peanut it was just this like thing. I don't know. I thought is it popcorn chicken or something

It looks like peanuts, right? It looks like a planters peanut. I don't know. I thought it was like popcorn chicken or something. It looks like peanuts, right? It looks like a planter's peanut. I don't know. Anyway, so yeah, I feel like that was really fun to just hear everyone like, I tried these like, like these soft peanuts and I didn't really know what I was doing, but I think everyone enjoyed them. That was a really funny touch, I think. Which, did you crack it open? Yeah. So what you do is you put it Wait, so do you crack it open? Yeah.

So what you do is you put it in your mouth and you crack it with your teeth. You suck the juice out because it's like full of salty juice. You take it out and then you crack it open with your hands. It like turns into peanut butter. And you eat, peanut butter? Like it's soft, you know?

You know. It's just like peanut butter. I should have had that. It doesn't get creamy. It's like edamame. It's just like a cooked bean. And then you just eat the beans out of it and you throw the shells.

The country edamame, right? Country. And it turns into peanut butter. Noted. Thinking of which, Nick was very much engulfed in his country era. I overheard him introduce someone to his dad and he goes, that's my daddy.

And I went, daddy? Daddy. And he just went, I was like, okay. Okay, country boy. I was in my element. I was, you know, now I got up on a horse for the photos. It was, it was stunning. Your wedding photos too. Just gorgeous. Wow. Yes. So good. And then I will say after the first night, it put me at ease because I was worried that this was gonna be the most expensive hot mess of our lives.

Just because you just don't know how this shit's gonna come together. It's just a lot of moving pieces. It is hard, I feel like, when you have the vision and you have all these inspiration photos and you think you know what it's gonna be, but you don't Actually get to see what it looks like until like moments before everyone is there like there is no

Like calling the florist. I mean like could you show me like a mock-up of what like this could be It's like that's not a thing You just have to trust in all of these people that they also understand your vision and execute it in the way that you would But after the the welcome party, I was like, I think this weekend might turn out. It might be pretty great. I saw your dad on the bowl. Got my dad on the bowl.

So good. Everyone who, obviously it was like hard because a lot of the women wore dresses and so it's like not really ideal, but I do feel like a good amount of people got, like rode the bowl. Yeah, I think a handful of people got, the alcohol was flowing.

We had very much an open bar. Yeah, the bar tab, we had to get more alcohol all through the weekend, but it was like whatever. You know. Derek, oops. Derek's like, oh, I hope you wouldn't have noticed. Yeah, I asked him, we got more. Yeah, but people got loose, which is great.

And yeah, as the night went on, more people were like, I can ride that bull. Oh yeah. Yeah. We also had the bold idea to do an open mic for speeches on Welcome Party, which definitely is not, there was no organization. It was not like my mom being like,

all right, and now I'm gonna hand it over to Nick's father, and Nick's father being like, now I'm gonna give it, there was no organization. And honestly, no one really had any speeches prepared. I wondered if my sister Maria's was so good. No, I think she was very much taken, when I was like, could you give a speech, please? She was like, when?

Well, you asked my sister Maria to kick things off, like, on Friday, but like, can you just like, kind of welcome people, just keep it casual, what do you want to say? But it ended up being Tristan Watson, who got up there first, and was like, hello everyone, you all look gorgeous, and I am loving everyone that is here,

and thank you so much for coming. He's very funny, he's an entertainer. But my sister went and gave an amazing speech, it was almost as if she was like, I don't know if I'm gonna everyone that is here and thank you so much for coming. He's very funny, he's an entertainer. But my sister went and gave an amazing speech. It was almost as if she was like, I don't know if I'm gonna give a speech, but I'm just gonna prepare one just in case. It was open mic but not for her.

That's why she was like, we gotta come with it. Well, the thing is is that my sister, my sister Caroline and my brother Jackson, I had heard through the grapevine that they had prepared something in case I were to ask them to give a speech So I was like, oh, that's nice. Like sure. Yeah, like welcome party. We'll like give the floors open. Sure Well, then apparently turns out the only thing my sister Caroline had prepared was in quotes. It is rare

For an older sister to look up to a younger sister, but that is what I do with Natalie because she's taller. And it was like, that is the only sentence she had prepared and there was nothing else. And so whenever I was like, Caroline to the mic, I heard you prepared something. She was like, um. She's like, wait. She's like, no, I don't have anything prepared.

But that's kind of how it went. It just like someone would end and I would be like, Justin, Justin, time for you to speak. It was the Hunger Games. Literally it was the Hunger Games. Literally it was the Hunger Games. Now they started really enjoying it. And then a few of our guests took it upon themselves to go up.

The same friend who wore a navy blue suit to the wedding also gave a speech. I was laughing my ass off. Do you remember which one? He said. It was the friend who in this speech talked about, he goes, yeah, and this like one time, Nick and I went to Cancun.

And everyone was like, oh, what the fuck? I'm like, what? Where are we going? Like, where is this going? And then I was like, did he hook up with a bunch of ladies? Like, it was like, it was the classic, like friend speech that goes off the rail and they like decide to go up to the mic with

Definitely not any preparation and it's like they don't know where to go with the speech So they just stay this most random fucking shit And then one time he was just like didn't like and Nick and I went to Cancun together and just like holy fucking shit I was crying like the Oscar music I was crying laughing. Natalie needed a look of the Oscar music. Yeah. To start like playing them a lot. Literally.

Literally, I saw one of his friends who I know is, bless his heart, and I saw him kind of walking up and I was like, no, no, no, play music, play music. And then he just walked past the mic and I was like, oh my God. Crisis averted. Yeah. But honestly, even those were great. All the speeches were wonderful. My dad, oh, I lost it. My dad came home.

And the song playing in the background. And then he referenced the song and I was like, was this coincidence or was this supposed to happen? Because I'm done. Yeah, my dad's speech. I learned after the fact that he had like three pages prepared but he could not get through it because he was sobbing so much. Which was honestly, that's all Natalie needed. Yeah, yeah. It was very sweet.

I wasn't sure if he had it in him but he really delivered. It was a very much from the heart speed that, I mean honestly I felt like you've been waiting for your big part of your life. I was always I think nervous. Yeah, I definitely was always nervous of like how my wedding would go because I didn't have the typical like... He's trying. I cried so much this weekend. He's trying. Stop.

Are you laughing? Listen, I didn't know like, is my dad gonna walk me down the aisle, not only for like just relationship status, but like health status. Like for a long period of our wedding planning process, it was like, he's knocking on death doors. And it's like, that's why we really couldn't push our wedding back any further. Cause it's like, I don't know if my dad will be there.

And thank God he was, and he, you know, he was, he's in a wheelchair, he couldn't stand, but like we made it work. And he gave this speech that, yeah,, he, he was, he's in a wheelchair. He couldn't stand, but like we made it work. And he gave this speech that, yeah, I definitely have always like, I wondered my whole life if I would get it. And I did. And it, it, I mean, I think made everyone in the audience cry. And he, he definitely said like, my mom told me later, which I'm surprised I didn't know this, but I was the only one that he was in the delivery room for. So my other siblings, he was not. I don't know really what those reasons were, but he referenced being in the delivery room and like, you know, holding my hand and,

you know, it was just, it was very emotional. And then he goes and, you know, I loved her first and that song is playing in the background. And he goes, and that is a song by Heartland. He like gives the credit where credit is due. That is a song by Heartland. He's like but it is true. But no it was it was very special and then Derek got up and gave a speech. Derek got up and gave a speech. I was really proud of you. Oh thank you. Yeah the table said I should go up and not, and even if someone gets in front of me, I should just stay there. You did a great job. Wait, can I get a rendition?

What was? It was actually really good. Oh, was it? Do you feel like you like blacked out? Yeah, no. Do you feel like you blacked out? Like, do you feel like you remember what you said? I had like college graduation level blackout

like when I went up. I was just like, oh. No idea what I said. No, but I don't know. Like I just wanted to like say something that felt. It is true. Yeah, it's just like, I don't know, like your life's changed a lot and it's just,

you have to be open to it. So I don't know. I was really proud of you guys. I don't know. It was so sweet. I was feeling it. I was feeling it. There's some good speeches.

So I was like, that's my guy. It was so sweet. Q, his DS from Special Forces. Yeah, he made it. He gave a very nice speech. My two sisters and a brother gave a speech. She told the story about me being Helen Keller, which definitely everyone loves.

In a play. In a play. Yes, when I was her in the community theater play. My sister, Peter, my groomsman, gave a speech. It was all like, back to like us taking notes at other weddings. I wanted people to have fun. You guys have heard us talk, certainly heard me talk

about like when it's your wedding, it's your day and kind of fuck everybody else. And we certainly, you know, had that in terms of like, this is you and like, it's us this weekend, you know, we were very connected, but we were throwing a party. But we wanted our guests to, once the guests got there, we wanted them to enjoy themselves. So it was more like, all I cared about is the logistics.

I didn't want people waiting around, I didn't want people to be hungry, I didn't want people to be thirsty, I wanted the vibes to be good, all those things. And so we've all been to weddings where the speeches just go on and on and on, and then there's this 20 minute speech where it's just like, we didn't need the entire story of your relationship.

And so those speeches were all great. They were just a nice little, everyone just said their piece, it was always from the heart. A few jokes here and there, but like no one, you know, the people who try to be so funny, and it's just like, you know, it becomes like a roast where it's just like, well, this is awkward.

You know, there's none of that. You know, it was all really good and from the heart, and everyone, I think everyone really enjoyed them. So I was really happy with that. I also feel like, and like correct me if y'all didn't feel this way, but I think both the welcome party and the wedding, it wasn't by the book.

Like we didn't take it so seriously like at the welcome party, like me calling people out to give speeches. Like I felt like it was just fun and relaxed and during the wedding, like when I walked out and we'll get to that. But I feel like I definitely like spoke during the ceremony when I think most people probably would just be like, just keep going,

I don't know if I should say something. And my photographer, Sarah Partain, she was like, who's a great friend of ours, she has captured many, many moments of our lives. If you can get her to photograph your wedding. Yeah, or anything. She is great, but she said, you broke that fourth wall, and I think that was like extremely charming

for everyone to witness. It really was that way where it's just like, the party turned out so well, but like we kept it kind of loose. We didn't even, we didn't do a rehearsal for the ceremony. No, God no. Like we didn't have time, you know, we had a baby, you know, and I guess the mentality was like, how complicated can it be? To walk. To walk and get time, you know, we had a baby, you know, and I guess the mentality was like,

how complicated can it be? To walk? To walk and get married. You know, Charlene and Andy, our dear friends who Natalie met the first week and we had ever met and are two people who are confidence of mine and like people I really go to for, you know, I guess advice at times and like. And so we asked them to marry us. I knew they would do an excellent job. Which they did.

Which they did. They absolutely crushed. And that's the thing, we picked the people we knew would do well. It was like a note for anyone getting married. Now I had two maids of honor. I didn't have any best men. So all my groomsmen, you know,

me being a little bit older, all my groomsmen were men who had been like my closest friend at various points of my life. So all of my groomsmen, had I, you know, for example, had I gotten married in my early 20s, my friend Joe, who was a groomsman, would probably have been my best man. If I had got married in my late 20s,

my long time high school friend, Marcos, would have been my best man. When I moved to LA, my groomsman Kyle, who I lived with, who is a big reason why I'm sitting here today, would have been my best man. And so I had them all be my groomsmen, but I didn't have a best man.

I just, I was like, they're just, they're all my best men. But Jared, another person, another groomsman, know lived with me and was a big part of my life and a close friend There was a part where he could have been my best man. Jared gave my best man speech Why because Jared's an excellent public speaker, you know And so just and our Andy and Charlene when they got married Andy who gave his best man speech wasn't his best man It was his friend who's also comedian because his best man speech wasn't his best man. It was his friend who's also a comedian because his best man is someone who was like, yeah, you're my best man,

but like, I'm not letting you give the speech. You know, it's your wedding, you know, and so pick the people who can perform and deliver and are comfortable in that setting. It doesn't, you know, it's your wedding. You can do whatever you want. So we really took advantage of that. It's just like, we don't have to go by the rules. I don't care what people do or what people say. This is what's going to happen and play out that way. And so we did not stress about those little details of like, well, it's not her.

Oh my God, you can't. It's just like, I don't know. And that's why we didn't do, one, we didn't do a rehearsal for the wedding because we just didn't have time. But we were also like, well, whatever happens, it'll be fine. Yeah. You know, like if there's a quote unquote a mistake,

no one's gonna care. It doesn't really matter. It's all part of the story, you know? And that makes it that much more enjoyable. Yeah, so today, I definitely do want to, before we go any further, give the biggest, loudest shout out to Macy Weissner. She is the designer of SYNC, C-I-N-Q.

Absolutely love her. She designed all three of my wedding looks. Hope Levine, she is the bridal stylist. She curated all of my, I mean, we all, Macy's sister, Madeline, we all four worked together to create all three of my looks. And I feel like they, I mean, we became family throughout the process.

They all came to the wedding as guests. I like- And they were just, I wanna say, lovely. They were professional, they were good people. They were just lovely. And I say this because planning a wedding, for those of you who have done it before, not to like kill a really great vibe,

but the wedding industry, it's organized crime. Oh yeah, as soon as you say something is like, oh, it's for a wedding, it's like, yeah, here's negotiating for your wedding. It's just like, hi, I'm looking for a haircut, I just need a haircut on April 26. Like, oh, why so far out? Oh, I'm getting married.

Oh, that'd be $5,000. It's like, fuck. I thought you charged like 75 bucks for a haircut. Well, you know, it's just like, you know. So here's the thing about the wedding industry. Across the board, then this is the sentiment. I'll keep it fairly light. But the vibe that I, the most, and that's why I love those ladies who did your wedding dress,

because they didn't do this or give us that vibe. But the vibe that every vendor gives you is, well, you're never going to hire us again. It's a one-off. They all know that this is the only time they're ever going to work with you. They have no incentive to earn your business back. And even if, you know, if things don't work out and you get married down the line, you're not going to hire the same vendors. They know that, you know? And so it just really

sucks to be treated knowing that these people don't have to earn your business back. And if I have to hear one more fucking time, well, this is how it is, you know? It's like, no, it's not this. It's, you know, they're just all car salesmen just jacking up their fucking price and you got to figure out how low they can go You know, but it's like it's it's just it's it really kills the vibe of Of the planning process. I will say that despite all that all the vendors except for one and we'll get into that story Later despite my frustrations leading up to the wedding, and again, special shout out to those ladies at Sync, because they were just an absolute gem. Here's a lesson, everyone.

If you're going to be a pain in the ass, better be fucking good at your job. Because leading up, I had my frustrations with the planning process. I had my frustrations with the planning process. I had my frustrations with the negotiating process, but the vendors we got to work with, I will say, they were fucking professionals. They delivered. They crushed it, except for one. Be fucking good. If you're going to be a pain in the ass, if you're going to only work a certain way and

not be flexible, and you're going to charge a premium because it's their wedding you better show Up and you better fucking deliver and I will say the vast majority of our vendors Absolutely did that and they you know It was it feels good to know that despite those frustrations leading up that you know They know how to be a part of a wedding They know how to put out you know They know how to do their job right and we felt like we were in very good hands with the vendors that we had worked with. So that, that part, that was the positive of it.

So be fucking good at your job. If you're going to be a pain in the ass, clip it. Day of day. I would say also as a guest, like we don't know if anything went wrong or wasn't supposed to happen. You know what I mean? So I'm like, unless there's just like something like hanging off, like that's just clearly not supposed to be there.

Like you just look around and you're like, this came together so beautifully, like we wouldn't know. So I'm like, if there was any stress or any issues leading into it, could have fooled me. But it was more like, yeah, from our end, what could have gone wrong for you guys is you guys could have been inconvenienced. Like the trolley could have been laid.

We didn't want to host Fire Festival. Yeah. Like that was honestly my fear. It's a good analogy. It's like, oh my God, we're gonna have people come here and there's gonna be like, they're gonna be like. Stranded, hungry. Like a trolley is gonna go the wrong direction

and end up on Tybee Island. Yeah. And they're gonna, it's gonna be like. Like miss the ceremony. Yeah, you know, it's just like. They had a cheese sandwich for dinner. Right, you know, we didn't want people to show up for the ceremony and sit there for 50 minutes.

How long did y'all sit there before we walked down? Was it a long time? Honestly, couldn't tell you. It wasn't. That's all we. Yeah, we were just talking. Everybody was meeting everyone. I had J-Wow in front of me. Like I was like, I'm not mad.

Take your time. Sit in front of me, like I was like, I'm not mad. Take your time. I'm not mad. Appropriate amount of time. Like it was like, just like, no one thought anything of it, honestly. We're looking at a gorgeous lake. That made me so happy. Oh my God. Yeah, the surrounding.

I'm fast forwarding, but when the wedding got done at the end of the night, I was just like, babe, you just threw the best wedding. I was just like over the moon. I was just like a kid in a candy store, just like glowing about like, I did not expect to feel like this was the wedding of my dreams.

So. Oh my God. I really, I really didn't, you know, like I obviously I wanted to give Nally the wedding of her dreams, but like it just was all worth it You know, it really was I just at the end of the week and I was like this is the best fucking week in a month Like I was so proud of us, you know more proud of Natalie But just like we did this like it was like the first thing we did as husband as wife

And his wife is like throw our own wedding and threw it in a way that like I think made us so proud Anyway, so morning of, you can start. Nick and I got an Airbnb downtown. We like stayed together Friday night. We have a daughter. Like we're not, you know, can't do the whole like sleep separate. Yeah, literally. Not to mention we live together.

It's like, oh my God. Also not to mention we did sin and we did have a child before our wedding. So like I wasn't, I guess I technically could have worn, what are you supposed to wear? Like down the aisle? Like white is because you're like, yeah. The scarlet letter? Yeah. Definitely like could have gone that route.

But no, so we stayed together, we woke up, and you know, I started hair and makeup, my bridesmaids who were my four sisters, and then my two best friends were maids of honor. So Victoria Fuller, I chose her because I felt like she really knew our relationship the best. She had spent the most time with us. She knew Nick very well. She knew me very well. I just felt like she could speak to our relationship the best. And then my best friend Chambliss Williams from Savannah who I've been friends with for years. I felt like she knew me personally the best. So that's why I had the both of them as maids of honor. Anyway, so we all came to the Airbnb, got ready together, ordered Chick-fil-A for breakfast, of course, wouldn't be a party for me without Chick-fil-A. And my mom, Nick's mom, we all just got ready together. Nick left, went to a hotel,

met all of his groomsmen there and got ready. And then I didn't want to like get ready at that Airbnb, like put on my dress or like do any sort of like photos at an Airbnb. So we took everything out to the farm and did it inside of my sister's house, which I told her probably a little bit late in advance, but I was like, it's okay. We'll just use this one room. So she like perfected that room and it honestly,

I'm so glad that we did it. It feels so special now to like have photos in, like that house means so much to me, that property means so much to me. And so to like be able to have the photos getting dressed and like my mom putting on my veil and, you know, Victoria spraying me with the perfume that she bought me. And it just all felt really, really special to do it there. So, and then we went and did our first look. Yeah.

The guys got dressed, we should have got dressed at the hotel, but that was the first like, oh shit, like we were running out of time, I also, we got the guys got dressed. We should have got dressed at the hotel, but we get that was the first like, oh shit, like, we were running out of time, you know, I got a little, I got a little nervous. But because we got ready to get a trailer outside on the farm, our our wedding planner Angela who absolutely crushed it the week of and really like she all the all the things I cared about, in terms of everything going smoothly, Angela and our other planner, Victor, a family friend, they absolutely crushed it. And so we got, we kind of showed up a bit late,

had to rush to get ready and do our first look. Which we weren't even gonna do, Nick did not wanna do a first look. Yeah, I wanted the first moment of me seeing Natalie to her coming down the aisle, but our photographer Sarah convinced us that you're going to be glad you did, which we got so many good photos. But also, I think it's not, she really

made a point of being like, if y'all don't do this first look, like the first time you'll get to spend time with each other is at 5.30 at night. Like your whole day, you won't with each other is at 530 at night like your whole day You won't see each other at all the whole day So and I and I think that I'm I am really glad we did the first look we did it down in a pasture with this really big oak tree that had all this like Spanish moss hanging from it. It's really stunning the tree. It's an absolute. It looks it's a tree

You would write about in a fairy tale truly. It's stunning tree. It's an absolute, it looks, it's a tree you would write about in a fairy tale. Truly, it's massive, it's probably hundreds of years old, and it's got, again, the Spanish moss hanging down. And in this particular moment of the day where we did our first look, the wind was blowing. And I say that only because like, it just like, if, you know, there's videos out there, we'll certainly post more,

but like it's blowing in a way that's so like dramatic you know and like on even on the photos and the videos it just it looks so perfect like all the tree all the Spanish moss is like it was it was just it's like you could not have you know asked for anything better um yeah you you like hear the wind blowing through the trees. It's like a sound that you don't hear in LA much, you know? So it's like, yeah, ever. So yeah, I'm just facing there like Nick, turn around, don't look, I'm literally like crunching my toes

and biting my cheek, I'm trying not to cry, you know? And like I turn around and I do this really, I'm an ugly crier. And I like, I don't even start crying, I start like blubbering. Like it all just comes out and my body convulses, like I'm laughing, you know, it's just like, I don't know it and I look like I'm laughing and so like, it's a really, I'd prefer like a more single tier situation,

but unfortunately my emotions take the best of me. But yeah, the first look for anyone out there who's planning a wedding and wants to save it for that moment as someone who wanted to save it for the moment of walking down the aisle, honestly, I'm glad we did what we did. It was just her and I having that moment. It was special.

We were alone and we got to spend more time together. It was just me, her and River, you know, just doing our thing while people got ready. And it didn't take away from anything. Yeah, I just wore the dress, I didn't do any of like the veil or anything like that. So I feel like there was still something to save for the ceremony.

But what did you, I'm curious, I feel like I asked you this several times throughout the process of like, what do you think my dress is gonna look like? Did it like? Well, Natalie would do this thing where, you know, she would show me pictures of other brides. She'd be like, well, what do you think of this?

And I'm like, I'm not answering that question. You didn't know like if it looked like my dress or didn't. Yeah, like, oh, I hate that. Oh, no, I really liked that because I had no idea what she went with. So I was like, iter didn't. So I didn't want to be like, that's so ugly. Yeah, like, oh, I hate that. Oh, no, I really liked that because I had no idea what she went with. So I was like- It was a trap. It was an absolute trap.

It was an absolute trap that I did not fall into. Her wedding dress was absolutely perfect. It was one thing I know about Natalie. She has impeccable taste, flawless taste. It's insane how good her taste is. When she was wedding dress shopping, I gave her some, she asked about some preferences. I'm like, to me, Nally is gorgeous,

the most gorgeous person in the world, no offense to anyone else listening. I'm biased. I don't see her like what? I'm most. Someone's like how fucking dare you? I'm most, like Jesus, I'm most? I wanted the dress to compliment her, not the other way around.

And so you don't have to overdo it in a way. It's a wedding dress, obviously, but she shined. Wait, I feel like you wanted me to compliment the dress, not the dress to compliment. No, you want the dress to compliment you. You're the star. You're the star. It's like you made the dress to compliment you. Yeah, you're the star. Yeah. You're the star. Oh, right, okay. You know? It's like you made the dress look as good as it does.

As great as those ladies are. Yeah, it's like, it looked stunning. You know, I didn't have, I had no expectations, but it was better than I could have imagined. She looked phenomenal 12 weeks after having a baby. I think it's- It was, it's so funny because I feel like 12 weeks after having a baby. It's so funny because I feel like during the wedding dress shopping process,

I went, I was, I don't know how many weeks pregnant, but I went like end of July. It was like right before you started showing. Yeah, so I went to, in the first place I went to, I put on a dress and- Calls me up. I found it. I found the one. I found the dress.

We did the whole like, are you saying yes to the dress? Like, yes to the dress. Like, pop champagne. It was like this whole thing. She called me up. And then he's like, we've got to put half of it down today. I'm like, right now? He's like, yep. So I called Nick and I'm like, so they want half of the dress down right now. And he's like, are you sure this is the one?

Cause I had like three other appointments at different places. And I was like, yeah. He's like, why don't you like put it on hold, go to these other places. And then, so thank God that's what I did. We can enjoy the weekend. You had a whole weekend plan.

And it was her first, you know, it's like, of course she's going to fall in love with the dress. You know, so like this is, go enjoy the weekend. Every place she went to, she was like, I found the dress! I did. The second place we went to, Gali Alavah, I found a dress there. My mom like cried. It was this whole moment.

And then Sink was the third place we went to. And honestly, I think it was just like, Madeline and Macy are from Alabama, Hope is from Florida. They had this very just like down-home welcoming vibe. I felt like I was amongst friends. And I think it's one thing to like try on dresses in a dress shop with like a sales associate,

someone who can talk to you about the dresses. But I think it's something completely different to do it with the designer. And she really just like knew, you know, how to accessorize it. And she knew how to show these dresses to me in a way that I feel like I wouldn't have been able to experience anywhere else. And so once I put on it's called the Gale named after her grandmother. Once I put that dress on, it's called the Gale, named after her grandmother, once I put that dress on, we definitely all in the room, 100% knew it. It had this, you know, this corseted top, it had these sleeves that, you know, had one that went around the neck

as like a scarf. It had this silk tool that kind of had this like wrinkled effect to it, which I really, really loved. It just didn't feel super like pristine and clean and sterile. It just had all this like, I don't know, this movement and it was just really erythral and romantic. And I definitely fell in love with that one. And it's so funny to say because her new collection came out and I was seeing them post this new dress

and I was like, oh my God, I think I want to change. Like, I think I love this dress that you're posting more. And so we went in, I tried on that dress and we like did the whole thing and we're like, I think this is it. And like, I, like my mind was changed and it was on this different dress. And Macy was like, well, let's just put the Gale on

one more time to just like solidify it. And as soon as I put the Gale on, I was like, what the? What was I thinking? Like, no, a million percent it's this one. That was insane. So moral of the story is, Natalie likes to wear a wedding dress. Yeah, so much fun.

Yeah, yeah. So I am really glad that I went with that one. I do feel like it was perfect. You looked like a Renaissance princess. Oh, thank you, Justin. Straight out of fairy tale. That was the words I needed. Cause you had the gloves too.

Had the gloves. That's what I'm saying. The gloves were such a nice touch. They knew how to accessorize it. They knew, like I would have never, I'm not a real glove girl. I would have never thought to like put gloves with it. Very hot.

Were the gloves the garter? Like, was that the replacement? Oh my God. Yeah, we did not do the garter. We did not do. We did not do any of that. But yeah, we did the first look and then everyone kind of got seated. We had golf carts bringing some people down to the ceremony site.

Some people walked. It was a beautiful walk. You like walk past pastures of horses and people could take pictures and whatnot. We had this like drapery over this big magnolia tree with our welcome sign. And then it's, again, not a wedding venue. It is my family, my sister's house. So there wasn't anything for like me to hide behind.

It was just an open field. So I'm like, we need to like build doors. So Victor spent, I don't know how long, but he built these doors. What's the name of Victor's company? Laced vinyl shop. There you go. Oh, there you go.

Yeah. And he built these doors that, you know, I don't know if people, could y'all see me when I got out of the car? I tried. No, absolutely not. I did. Whoever was driving that car,

like should work for like the royal family because I was like, this is like a black ops? I tried. I did. Whoever was driving that car should work for the royal family because I was like, this is like a black ops, I don't even know. Where did she go? Oh, great. Okay, that's awesome. But yeah, because I was like, I wanna go down in a car and my sister's like, what car?

I'm like, her husband drives this lime green Tacoma. She's like, no, absolutely not. So she's like getting the Land Rover and I think some people were like, do they have a Land Rover brand deal? Cause I like pull up in this Land Rover. No, it's just So she's like getting the Land Rover and I think some people were like, do they have a Land Rover brand deal? Cause I like pull up in this Land Rover. No, it's just my sister's car. But, and I got out with River,

which I wanted to be a surprise to Nick. It was obviously a surprise to, I think anyone in the audience. And she's the best baby ever. She's perfect and she never cries, but she was so angry in that car. And as soon as I got out, she was like, she wasn't like screaming, crying,

but she was doing that like, oh, oh, like. I immediately felt so proud. Oh God. But like she announced herself, you know? Like. Just let it happen. I was glad she, I was glad she cried, you know?

Like it felt like my daughter was like saying I'm here too, you know? And like, I was glad that she like spoke up. Like she said hi to the audience. Like to me it was perfect. It was perfect timing that she made that noise. And like she is, she's like the most quiet baby even like at you know Our dear friend shook who's also a babysitter like she would stay with like we've you know She came as a guest, but so she helped out

And she would like you know pick her spots of bringing River out But even like through like and we kept her away from like the real loud noise But like even with people like she just slept, she was just chilling. But that one moment, when Nellie got out of the car, she said hi. And to me, that was perfect because we'll always go back and when River gets older, we'll have the videos of River speaking up and being like, that's me.

And had she just slept through the whole thing, it just wouldn't have been quite the same. So I thought it was amazing that she cried. I definitely was like, please stop crying. You're ruining the moment. This isn't what I wanted. I loved it. And then when I watched, I saw someone post a video.

I don't know exactly who it was. Was it you? I'm not a venue. I'm not a venue. I watched it and I, you could hear her and it was like the most perfect sound. And cause it wasn't this like screeching crying where you're like, oh my God, someone help that baby.

It was just this like, she was just like talking. I don't know. And so I walked out with her. My mom came up from the front. I gave her to my mom, had a little moment with my mom, grabbed my bouquet and then continued down the aisle and met my dad who was sitting in the front and Nick came up to meet my dad, kind of shook his hand.

And we went up, but I walked out and I think I said, River hates me. Cause she just was like, it was not. I have it on video. I'm just like said River hates me. Because she just was like, it was not. I have it on video. I'm just like River hates me. And then that's where Nellie broke the fourth wall. Again, didn't do the rehearsal. So we didn't, as you, Nellie had two maids of honor.

You shouldn't, you know, like her veil was a bit bunched. And so- And he had started his speech. He was like, welcome to the, and then I looked back and I was like, no, no, no. I didn't go, can someone fix my dress? And so then my sister, Emily jumps up and she does it. I had two things.

I had what Macy calls a Watto attached to like my, like my back maybe. And it was like this really long thing and then a veil that was in my hair. And my sister just fixed one of them. And so then Trambliss and Victoria jump up and they fixed the two dresses. And I turned back around and Andy was like,

I said, okay, you can continue. And he said, from the top. And I said, from the top. And so we just completely started over. And it was great, everyone laughed. It was, again, a very relaxed ceremony, right? Would you agree? Truly.

Yeah. No, it was like, it was also like seamless. You know what I mean? Like, even from like the river moment to like everybody walking out and like, I like that you guys didn't have your wedding parties up there, it was just about like the two of you up there. But yeah, no, it was seamless.

Andy Sherling gave a beautiful speech, I guess, ceremony. I guess, what would you call it? I mean, they did great. I mean, they were excellent co-officians of the ceremony. And they went back and forth. And then my sister, who was like the biggest reality TV fan,

they come walking down the aisle, stunning couple, by the way. And Marissa elbows me and she's like, you didn't tell me Charlene was doing this. And I was like, they're friends from New York. And she's like, you don't know who she is? And I was like, no. So they were amazing.

They're very special people to us and they did a great job. And then it came to our vows, which we wrote, Natalie crushed. I felt like mine were, I went for the heart, you know, I went from the heart to the heart. It's authentic. You know, obviously there's like, you know, everyone's like yours has got to be better than Natalie's, you know, but I thought mine were, I felt like the overall sentiment was, Nick, your vows were really great. They were very sweet, you made us cry, they were

very nice. Nally's were awesome. But they were. They were so good, they made everyone laugh and cry. And it was, I mean, I thought of, I had so many friends come up to me and tell me how like, they're like, yeah, your vows were really good. N Now these were great. Because they were, they were fantastic. And how could I argue with all the nice things she said about me? There it is. I was not in any way surprised, but equally still impressed with how great they were. And I think everyone just really enjoyed them. Because again, not everyone's files are are you know they felt like so personal but in a way that just felt like every it's it's hard to strike that balance of something being so personal but also being so welcoming for everyone here

you know what I mean so that's like how it kind of fell as an alley even swore yeah cuz anytime we watch the Packers and they don't catch the ball. He always, in his little Wisconsinite, Wisconsinite? That's a fucking ball. Ball, ball. So I had to include that. She said how she'd support me even through that. It was great. And then as we walked down the aisle after we got married,

well, you tell this story, this is your story. So like three weeks before the wedding, my sister Amanda calls me and she's like, I just was talking to the sheriff, you know, of Effingham County. And he was telling me how he went to a wedding of his sister's cousin's brother, and they had homing pigeons fly out at the ceremony.

And she said it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. It gave him chills. She said he was raving and raving and raving. And so I was like, oh, interesting. So like maybe Natalie would want this. I don't know. So she calls me up and she tells me this. And it's hard because you're like,

is this gonna be like corny or is this gonna be like, oh, you know, this like exciting thing that happens. What do you think about this? Is it corny? I'm like, no, this just sounds fucking dope. Yeah, so if you don't know what homing pigeons are they are white pigeons They look like doves, but they are this woman They literally she Releases them at whatever part you want her to do it

So we did it as you know when you walk halfway down the aisle and kiss again, then they were released. She literally releases them, she gets in her car, she drives home, and they're at her house when she gets there. They like know their way around. So all they're doing, they're not at a wedding, they're just like flying home. Yeah, like here we are, okay, figure it out.

Okay, like oh, there's these people here, all right, I'll go home. But yeah, it's just like a nice little touch You know, the ceremony is wrapping up and stuff you guys are heading out and they come out and me I was just like oh doves like, you know, but I heard people were murmuring and they're like Oh, they know how to go home and I heard that I start crying Like I'm first oh my god, I had so many of like my cousins and friends when Nally walked out with River just started sobbing. It was such a, you know, Nally, we had River in this little white veil, gown-ish, and it

was- It was a really beautiful moment. It was so good. Not gonna lie. And they opened up those doors and it was just like, yeah. Before, because I get out of the car and I heard them say, we could hear River crying, I guess people in the car and I heard them say like, we could hear river, like crying, I guess people in like the back row, like maybe closest. And they're like, we just, like they, you know,

it was very emotional I think for a lot of people. But yeah, so then the homing pigeons flew out and we, you know, walk, there was nowhere for us to go again. We're just an open field. So I was like, okay, y'all can go. That was hysterical. Cause everyone was just still sitting or standing like staring at us and we're just gonna go to take pictures. So I'm like, everyone can leave now.

Thank you so much. You said go eat food. Go eat food. Yeah, so we sent them to the cocktail hour, which was by the barn and music played and we took a bunch more pictures. Yeah. Then we went and hung out with our guests for a minute. I and I think I mentioned this, but I had decided to also do an outfit change.

And I had never worn a Tom Ford anything before. And that was always a bit of a dream of mine. So I invested in like a white cocktail, like a dinner jacket, like a Tom Ford, which is a bit of an investment. I will be wearing that as much as possible. He's coming to work next week. Unlike unlike that fucking Dolce and Gabbana suit that I bought for Ben's wedding that I can never wear again, because it's like such a loud pinstripe suit that it's like, oh, that again.

Like me, I'm just wearing a white dinner jacket. Like, you know, there's plenty of events. I'll be it go too. But are you allowed to wear that to someone else's wedding? Is it like a woman wearing white? I don't know if I'd wear it. No, I wouldn't wear it to a wedding, but I'd wear it to like a red carpet.

You know, there's a lot of bullshit. But did you feel your most dapper? Oh my God, yeah. Wait, what was the word he used? Dashing? Dashing? Dashing, dashing. Oh dashing, dang it.

I absolutely felt dashing and dapper. But like the plan was like Nellie had all these, you know, out scheduled, all these, she had an outfit change. Yeah. But she wanted obviously to wear her wedding dress for our first dance, but I'm like, she's like, well then you'll do that, your outfit change.

Then when I do mine, I'm like, baby, Then when I do mine, I'm like, baby, I need a moment in my Tom Ford. Her second look, it was more about the, it's time to have fun, it's time to party, it's time to dance vibe. I requested, can I do my outfit change before we walk in as a couple to the reception? When they're like, now announcing.

So I was a bit of a diva, but we went back to the trailer and I put my, I changed into my white coat and then Natalie and I were in the trailer by ourselves and we had a little snack and a nice little moment and we practice our, and now he's like, we haven't practiced our first dance. Like, what's the practice? We're going to like move side to side and hope the wedding dress stylist was like, you need a dipper and you need a twirler. But I'm like, I can do both. None. So we're in the trailer. I changed and we're like, we played our first song and we were,

we technically had our first dance in the trailer together by ourselves. Cute. And then my mom and my sister walked in on us. Mom's like, I need to change my shoe. I'm like, okay. And so then we came in and got greeted and we did our first dance. Which was to One and Only by Adele. One and Only by Adele.

And then- And Nick dipped me. I dipped her. And he did it perfectly and I come up and I just go, we crushed that. Because I knew when the song was the drop or whatever the drop of the song and it was coming up and when it... What is that part where... It's like... I dare you to let me be your one. Yeah. And it was coming up and I knew the drop was about to come.

So I just whisper, I'm going to dip you now. I just got, I get up and you can see when we're dancing, I whisper in her ear and it's me being like, I'm going to dip you. And I just, and I, uh, I did. And then we basically had almost, we had, well, we had a second dance because, uh, now he's sister Amanda, in addition to knowing the pigeon lady, she has this very, very talented and wonderful friend named Kim.

Her name is Kim Palote and she is a singer in Savannah. I met her, she used to sing at my grandparents, Betty Sue, at their like old folks home. She, and I met her there and she would just come and she would sing for them and just like, you know, brighten their day, I don't know. But I met her and she's absolutely an incredible singer. And so it was like, do we have her come

and sing at her wedding? Well, her mother, you know, was struggling with some health issues. So she never really gave us this like confirmation. Yes, I'll be there. We'll do this song at this time. We never had any of that scheduled day of as I'm driving from the Airbnb to my sister's house, my sister calls me and she's like, I just got a call from Kim and she said she's able to come and sing. So what songs do you want her to sing? And I was like, I have no idea, like this is day up, I don't know.

And she's like, well, you know, she knows weddings, so she's just gonna come and she's gonna do her thing. And I'm like, all right, well, I trust her, so whatever she wants to do. But before we finished our dance, you danced with your mom. Dance with my mom, sobbed. Yeah.

Sobbed, I did not expect it, but like, it was such a moment. You know, I know my mom has rooted for my love life for like such a long time. And I've always just had a bond with my mom. And you know, I wouldn't say like as a young man, I've dreamt about my first, like the father daughter dance, but like mother, son dance or whatever. But I have a very vivid memory of my mom in the second grade at the school sock hop. Remember those? Sock hop.

My mom and I in the second grade won a dancing contest together. And we won a frozen pizza. I still remember this. I remember, I can picture it right now of us dancing together. I remember following my mom's lead. I remember dancing and being like, we're going to win this shit. I knew we crushed it. It reminded me of that moment. I was very emotional. It felt like a very full circle moment.

So I definitely cried, you know, dancing with my mom. So that was nice. I danced with my mom. And I felt like we did it to Mama song by Carrie Underwood, which is like the most perfect song if anyone wants to dance with their mother to a song. It's just like about getting married

and like the man that is so good. And I remember it was in the song that she starts saying like, and he is good, so good. And I went to like point at Nick. And I was pointing at like my friend from high school, Allison's husband, Eric, because Nick had like gone somewhere else. I, someone had called for my attention and I was figured, oh, this is a moment I can mingle. So I kind of fucked up. I was apparently supposed to stand at the end of the dance floor and watch your mom so anyways but me and my mom dance again sobbed it was very very emotional very special for us and then your dad gave like a welcome

speech which this man he like starts the speech and he starts like his voice starts cracking and your mom comes up and just like hugs him from behind. And it was the sweetest moment because you just saw like how much of a team they are. And he gave a bombshell speech. And I mean, like, I don't even do you remember? So, Nick, your mom came and sat by us because Victor had put my sister and I

on like one of those couches right by the dance floor. And then Chris went up to give a speech. Nick's mom sits down next to us. She's already getting like a little misty. So Marissa and I are like holding her hands and then your dad's voice wobbled. And like immediately she was like, he needs me and just like went straight to the dance floor.

And I was like, oh my God. I love that. Your mom gave a very beautiful speech. Me and I both were looking at her mom giving the speech and we're like, gosh, she looks so hot. You know, at least she was radiating. Stunning. Stunning and your mom is an excellent speaker.

Like my dad, his charm, both of our fathers, their charm was like them not necessarily being like, it was just from the heart and emotional. well her mom also from the heart but her mom was like you do this for like a living. Yeah, she was like confident. Confident and radiant and just and then... I went and did outfit change. My mom announced dinner was served and so then I was like okay this is my chance we got to go change my outfit. so me, Macy, Madeline, Hope, Nick we all went back to the house and they're getting me out of that dress they're getting me into the new dress we're like we got to call hair and makeup to come like because we had different

looks for each thing and so I was doing a hair and makeup change. And so- And this is where the hairstylist from hell. Is this the one vendor? Yes. Yeah. We've been waiting. This is the, which I want to be clear when we tell this story, once again,

we had the most magical weekend and the most wonderful wedding for us. I felt like it was the best wedding of all time. I'm biased for sure. And now that the wedding weekend is over, this is just an outrageous story to tell. And it's all it's just part of our story. When it was happening, I want to say when we tell the story did not take away from what is our wonderful weekend. Well, as this was going down, it was fucking insane. Yeah.

So we get back to the house, we're changing into my new dress, and Hope is calling my hairstylist. So we have been up there for quite a minute. I had nursed River and we're calling to come and do my hair and makeup because we're ready for the change. Wasn't answering his phone. And so Sarah Partain calls Angela, my wedding planner,

and she's like, okay, okay. So, oh, she finds him. She goes up, she tells him that, you know, he's needed because I'm doing my dress change, and she texts back Sarah and says, he said, no, I'm eating. Oh, oh, oh, okay. So then Sarah reads that text out loud to me

as I'm waiting on him, and I'm like, absolutely the fuck not, no, he needs to come and change my hair, what the fuck? And so 15 minutes go by and he needs to come and change my hair like I, what the fuck? And so 15 minutes go by and he shows up and he walks into the room with me, Madeline, Macy, Hope, Sarah, it's a room full of women. And Nick. He walks into the room, his pants unzipped, unbuttoned,

open, his shirt untucked, very disheveled, and I go, what the fuck are you doing? And he was like, Ibuttoned, open, his shirt untucked, very disheveled, and I go, what the fuck are you doing? And he was like, I was pissing, obviously, very hammered. You smashed. No. Very, very hammered. He comes in with his pants down, looking disheveled and fucked up,

and then in some sort of like crass way, demanded that Natalie find him drugs. Yeah, and so then I'm like, are you drunk? And he's like, I'm fucked up, I'm fucked up. And I was like, okay, well, we've got to do my hair. Like we've been gone for forever. I would like to get back to my reception. So he's like, what are we doing?

And I'm like a half, a slick back at the top, half up, like half down look. And I showed him the reference photo that he had, you know, weeks in advance. And he starts doing my hair. Lindsay's doing my makeup and everything's fine. And he's like, I was late because my phone died. My phone died. That's why I was late. And he kept saying that.

And I was like, my wedding planner said that you said, no, I'm eating. And he was very like offended by that and was like, my wedding planner said that, you said no, I'm eating. And he was very offended by that and was like, what the fuck, I'm gonna fucking kill your wedding planner. Like, what the fuck, fuck that bitch. Let me go fuck that bitch. Like, what the fuck, she didn't fucking say, I didn't fucking say that, are you fucking serious? And he kept saying that and kept saying that.

So I knew, whatever, I definitely don't think my wedding planner made that up. So I think it's important to note at this point, the reason why his attitude was the way it was is that, you know, we talked about the vendors. Natalie was friends with this guy, friendly. She did, he has done her hair in the past. So there was a relationship. And so when Natalie's like, who should do my hair? And there was like, you know, a little bit of back and forth deciding. I called him up and I said, first of all, I would love for you to come to my wedding.

As a friend, as a guest, I would also love for you to do my hair. I understand if you don't want to mix the two, if you just want to come as a guest, totally fine. I can find someone else, but would love for you to do my hair. And he was like, oh my gosh, no, babe. Like, of course, would love to do your hair.

Also like, you won't have to pay me. I'll just get a brand deal. And he was like, oh my gosh, no babe, like of course, would love to do your hair. Also like, you won't have to pay me, I'll just get a brand deal. And I was like, oh, yeah, amazing, perfect. I'm like, great. Not really knowing what that is, doesn't ask a lot of questions, we don't get a lot of details. That was probably like five months

before the wedding itself. So now it's Wednesday, the day we fly to Savannah for our wedding. First time we're flying with our daughter, that's her wedding, we're in full on wedding mode at this point. And on the way there, Nellie's getting a bunch of calls from her manager talking about how this brand deal

that turns out had all these things that Nellie was obligated to do. It was like- It was unclear, it was not clear of like what, it was a lot of, there were interviews involved, there was, it was a lot of, there were interviews involved, it was a lot of stuff that I was like, wait, what are we, this is. Working on my wedding.

Yeah, and also maybe if you would have told me this five months ago when we first, we could have worked something out, but this is two days before my wedding. So they terminated that brand deal that he had and then my manager calls me and she says, I've been going back and forth with his agency and his rate is $3,500.

But because y'all are friends, he will do it for $2,500. Keep in mind, in addition to, What does he normally charge? $500. Keep in mind, in addition to... What does he normally charge? $500. Yeah, $500. Weird bulls. He's done my hair for a red carpet and it was $500. Now he sends a very friendly text to him. It's always like, we're gonna figure this out, we're friends. He would just say how we're friends, we're friends, we're friends. They get on the phone. River is upset. Our perfect child is for the first time ever, just having a tough moment, calls Natalie. It's a very amicable conversation at this point.

A lot of like, well, figure it out, blah, blah, blah. Just like, you know, but I hear him talking, he's on speakerphone, and I'm just starting to lose my mind because he's lying. I can just see it's this lie after lie after lie. I just know he's just like, your team said this and it's as much as shit I just know they didn't say. Because I'm trying to be like,

listen, it's two days before our wedding. Like we're the friends here. I know our teams are going back and forth, but like two days before my wedding, what are we doing? Like he's like, well, my brand, and I'm like, okay, the brand deal is done. I get it. So like what, he's like, well, I, you know,

I typically do weddings for $3,500. And I was like, I understand that brand deal's done, I get it. So like, what, he's like, well, I, you know, I typically do weddings for $3,500. And I was like, I understand that. If you would have told me that in the beginning, I would have never booked you because I can't afford $3,500 for hair. I would have found someone else. And he was like, oh my God, well, no, we would have negotiated it.

We would have like found a price that works, you know? And I was like, it's two days before my wedding. I don't have $2,500. We're already over budget. I don't have $2,500. We're already over budget. I don't have this to give you right now. So he was like, well, what do you have? Because your team told me that you have $1,500. Immediately I know he's lying.

I'm like, my team would never negotiate my money. Yeah. So he's lying through his teeth. I'm losing my fucking mind. Meanwhile, like River's crying, now he's getting emotional. She starts crying. Fucking says to Natalie, so I just he's lying through his teeth. I'm I'm losing my fucking mind. Meanwhile, like rivers crying now He's getting emotional. She starts crying fucking says to Natalie and I quote babe. I don't want you to feel bad for me Because like of the of the drama that was going on About them going back and forth again. Meanwhile, Natalie has invited this motherfucker as a guest and so you know what he did

He brought up a plus one. And not a plus one of like a partner. It was like a friend of his who I've never met, who he's just like, it's like his girlfriend. Like unbeknownst to you? I mean, they told us last minute, but we were like, sure, whatever. Well, I said, you know, like, listen,

I'd love for you to come as a guest. To my knowledge, he was like, in a relationship for a while. I didn't know like what had happened between that. So I'm like, yeah, of course, bring your plus one, come. He brings a friend of his, which maybe that's just a me thing. I don't know if I would go to a wedding and bring,

even if I was offered a plus one, if I didn't have a partner, I don't think I would just bring a friend. I don't know. Whatever the fact that you did, I don't even care. But my point is, is you clearly are embracing the fact that you are coming also as a guest. I don't know. Whatever the fact that you did, I don't even care. But my point is, is like, you clearly are embracing the fact that you are coming also as a guest. Right.

You know, you're not coming just to work. You're not like, no, babe, I have a job to do. Like, and I was getting pissed off cause it's like, well, which one is it? You know, like she's already paying for your flight. She's already paying for your hotel. Yeah. On top of like.

On top of the $3,500 that he was,500 that I didn't pay for his flight. Well, no. I was supposed to. But she had agreed... It was on the invoice. But she had agreed to pay for his hotel, agreed to pay for his flight. This was already settled. Yeah. This is wild. So she's already like, she's already like agreed to like cover a few thousand dollars worth of expenses for him to come as a guest with a plus one. I said, would you be okay with a thousand dollars? His rate is $500. I am asking him to do my hair Friday night. I'm asking him to do my hair Saturday night.

Right. $1000. Okay. Plus your flight that I will reimburse you and the hotel room that I have already paid for, which was like $1,300. Yep, so for him and his friend. So he says, let me think about it. It's Wednesday night.

So I call him up. I'm like, and you're not talking to him anymore. I'm like, you go relax, I'll deal with this. I get on the phone, very amicable at first. I'm like, hey man, like this is just, this just sounds kind of messed up the way you guys are talking. To be honest, it feels like you're trying to hustle, Natalie. It's just a lot of back and forth. I don't really care what your rate is. I know what you charge, but now he's paying for you to come out.

It was a very amicable conversation, but we'll pay you $1,000. He's like, well, let me think about it. I'm like, okay. He tries, and then he gets off the phone. Clearly he's like rattled. And he texts me and tells me he's gonna have his agent reach out to me. And I'm like, I'm not talking to your agent. I sent him a message being like, if you want your team to talk to me, then they should talk to my team.

But that's silly because this conversation started with you and Natalie. So let's just figure it out and be fine. So finally he called me back and he's just, and I'm just like, this is what we're gonna pay you. Which I think is more than generous. You keep talking about being her friend. And again, as her friend, you're the only friend

she's paying for their accommodations. Right. And so like you're being taken care of. He's like, fine, I'll just do it. And so I only bring up that story because again, despite all the vendors, and there was always a little back and forth, you know, like they, everyone has a business to run we totally

get it get your money you know but again the day of like whatever conversations we had with any vendor they were all incredibly professional wonderful energy they crushed it it was up front their expectations the money all of it was up front you can have a problem with whatever their expectations are but they are good communicators and clear communicators. This was the opposite of all of that. And you can just tell leading up to this, the welcome party, his vibe is just, he's giving attitude.

And so the whole time, Natalie had to like, try to like ignore, ignore, ignore. So even prior to him walking in with his pants down, asking for drugs. And so when this is all going on, now he's like, just, I'm in the room, and now he's just like, just don't, like, you know. I'm sitting on the toilet, she's doing my makeup,

he's doing my hair, and he's getting upset about what the wedding planner said, and then he's like, okay, your hair is done, you're done. And I look in the mirror and it did not look good. It is not like the photo. It just fought out wasn't good. It looks like a drunk person. Did her hair.

Did her hair. So he didn't try, yeah. And I look at him and I stand up and I look in the mirror and I look at him and I said, you're not seriously gonna let me go out there looking like this, are you? And he leaned up against the wall and like rolled his eyes and I took it out. And he said, you know what?

I don't need this bullshit. And I said, what bullshit? He said, the shit that you and Nick are doing to me, discounting my rate, fuck you and fuck him. And he walks out and I went, Nick, because Nick was sitting on the bed and I said, he's leaving. And I said, then I was like, get the Nick was sitting on the bed and I said, he's leaving. And I said, then I was like, get the fuck off my property, like never come back here.

And he goes out of the room and I lost it. I immediately like started sobbing. I'm like, what the fuck just happened? Like, this is my wedding day, you just walked out on me. Like, who's gonna do my hair? Like. So I go and follow him. Cause at this point, I'm like, she needs her hair done.

So minus all this bullshit, I need this guy back in here. And so I'm just like, dude, are you really leaving? Like you're unprofessional, yada yada. I kept it fairly calm. He finally, he come back, he's like wobbling. He's all fucked up. I'm like, dude, you are so fucked up. He goes, I'm a guest.

No way. To the bride and the groom. To me. But it's just like, which one is it? Like, are you a guest of our wedding, like a friend, or are you working this event? Anyways, we go back and forth. He's a hot mess.

And I, you know, I was just like, you hate me all you want, call me a piece of shit. But like, this is her day and you need to go apologize and do her hair. He wouldn't do it. He walked off into the middle of the woods. Stop it. And then we had security, a couple people helping and they went and followed him and found out that he was like passed out, like leaning up against a tree.

He was like waiting for his Uber, leaned up against a tree. But kind of fucked up leaning up against a tree. Just like, just an absolute hot mess. Wow. But Natalie's makeup artist. Lindsay Zavitz, she was like, look at me, it is okay. You just married the love of your life.

It is fine. We are gonna do this. And her and Hope tackled my hair. They did a great job. And they did a great job. We went back and we had an absolute amazing time. Amazing, amazing reception. We get back and as soon as we get back,

that is when Miss Kim P Palote, she starts singing and she starts singing At Last. Yeah, by Etta James. And I thought Etta James was singing to us. Truly. I mean, it was iconic. And so we had another dance. It was such a nice touch.

It was so, I mean, just to have that quality of a singer, we'll have the videos, we'll post it obviously later. We then had the confetti poppers popped all over as everyone is kind of like slow dancing to at last in the middle of the dance floor. Yeah, and we're just having a party. And then there's a small break where then all of a sudden people are partying and Kim comes back up, kind of calms us down, gets our attention. Turns out my mom wanted to say something because like she hadn't said anything at the welcome speech. My dad gave the speech. I asked him to give a speech. I know my mom wanted to say

something. She was very nervous. So she was talking to Kim and my mom being the Catholic woman that she is, is a big fan of the song Ave Maria. And so Kim kind of introduces my mom to give a speech and does this beautiful serenade of Ave Maria where all my uncles were like crying like a meaningful song to them and it was just I mean truly the voice of an angel but like from our standpoint I'm like I'm in the background like what a nice fucking touch man this is so fucking good you know like just the cherry on top of like the party you're throwing like we have a fucking

like, like an artist fucking singing and like, it was so good. And it was like, you know, again, the type of voice where you're just like so impressed, you know, cause there's a lot of good singers that even, you know, it's like, ah, we didn't really, you know, you're good. What did y'all think when she started singing? I think what you're saying about singers is just like,

there's singers that can sing well and there's singers that just have presence and warmth. And I think it just felt very, I don't know. It's like everyone just took it in. Yeah, it was like the world paused for a second. Everyone felt grateful to have heard her sing. Yes. That's what it felt like.

And so it was just a really nice touch. And then your mom gave a speech. And my mom gave a very beautiful speech. It was very touching. And then the rest of a speech. Then my mom gave a very beautiful speech. It was very touching. And then the rest of the night we had- We had Jared speak. Yeah. And then my and Victoria and Chambliss both gave speeches.

They were all excellent. They crushed. And then everyone just partied. We partied till like 1.30 in the morning. So hard. Which was so great, you know? I was limping in the airport. You could tell people didn't wanna leave.

And we were so tired at the end. It was supposed to be over at 11.30. Yeah. And so like... But when you throw a party at your family farm, you can party as long as you want. I went out to the trolley and I got the trolley drivers because they had just been sitting, waiting

for everyone to come out at 11.30. And so I went and got them and I was like, please come out and join the party, dance with us, get some drinks. And from my point of view, obviously, we had this send-off and all these things, and it's just like, obviously, Nellie, we wanted to have our alone time

and have a romantic night after a wedding, but like... have like a romantic night after a wedding, but like, I saw, you know, now he's been like working so hard, you know, being a mom and being pregnant. And now I got pregnant like right after we got engaged. And that's a sacrifice to be pregnant and to have a baby. You literally sacrifice your body, your time. You don't get, you know, your free time is limited based off of like your biggest prior being pregnant.

And so Nellie didn't get the traditional bride experience that I think a lot of people do. You know, I think we had a great engagement, but she didn't have that experience. And then I just saw Nellie just having so much fun, you know, just to let loose. And so like, I just wanted to keep the party going because I just felt like she really deserved it.

It was so pathetic crying. But it was, it was, it was just the best to see her like have so much fun and dance. And I just felt like she really needed it. And you know, we had, we were so lucky to have Shug and Allie watched River and our moms were there and our daughter was well taken care of for just to allow Nellie and I just like to let loose and have a good time because we had been working so hard, you know, just at work and taking care of River that it was just really nice to see. It like you guys felt like and I know that you weren't before,

but you guys felt like you were at the such level of peace and calmness. Watching you guys do the champagne tower and whatnot and trying to get the champagne open. It was a bit of a struggle. But it was just like the cutest fun, as I said, it was so carefree and just watching you two just loving and living in that moment. Like it was just, I don't know, it was just really the cutest, like fun, like just as I said, it was like so carefree and just like watching you two just like

loving and living in that moment. Like it was just, I don't know, it was just really nice to watch you guys in the center of the dance floor and just like everybody was just so happy for you guys. And I don't know, it was just really sweet. It was really fun. It was really, really fun.

I obviously, I said something about this like on my Instagram and I think it was really hard. I tried all these wedding dresses on, I had all these fittings, and they tailored everything perfectly and it was everything I could have wanted and more. But of course, I am breastfeeding. And so as the night prolonged, my boobs just got bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger. And you know, it was, we were definitely in a space of, it was a safe space.

It was a space where no one was like, oh my God, like, you gotta do something about that. Everyone was like, you look amazing, like you, and I felt absolutely beautiful and so sexy and just like my best self and then I posted these photos and so many people had so many opinions um of my boobs and how they looked in my reception dress and it really sucked it really was like this feeling of like y'all are making something weird that like no one had made weird up until this moment.

And like, you know, I'm feeding my child. I'm like, so I can't help it. There's nothing I can do. Like it's just nature. They're just gonna get bigger. And Macy designed an amazing dress, but she didn't design one that could like move with my body and expand as my boobs expanded.

So, but I do feel like I was my best version and we had the most fun we could have ever had and... You looked absolutely stunning in every look, Natalie. And that one second was I like... Like, you're a mother, you are young, you are beautiful, sexy, and it's supposed to be your day. And I think that you nailed every look from the welcome party to the very end of the reception.

Truly. Yeah, well then we called it a night. It was great. We took a nap. Well deserved, I'm sure. At 3 a.m. in the morning. Yeah, we got back. We got a hotel room.

My mom stayed with River and we got a hotel room and we were like, let's take a little nap, which is very, very tired. And then we made some sweet, sweet love after a nap. We don't have the energy currently in this moment to give it our best. You know what I am saying? So let's take a quick nap. Power nap. We go to bed at nine.

So it's 3 AM, but it was amazing. The whole next day was about getting ready for our honeymoon. You know, we woke up at like 10 or something, and we just had a bunch of errands and a bunch of things to do to prep for our honeymoon, which was in Turks and Caicos. That was the plan.

And so our flight left at 5 45 a.m. Okay. The next day. So we had not slept Friday night, Saturday night. So we had so much to do in preparation following the wedding that we didn't get to bed until 12 30. And we had to wake up at 3 a.m. So we're on no sleep, kind of back to back nights.

Again, we brought Natalie's mom with us to babysit for our honeymoon. The goal being like, again, logistically, as much as we spend all our time with our daughter and we love every minute of it, but it's our honeymoon and we were hoping to like connect and have some quality time. And so we're so lucky to have Nally's mom. She's so easy to be around. We brought her with us, got her own room, obviously, so that Nellie and I can, as much as possible, have some time alone and things like that. So it was really nice to have her. So the night started at 3 a.m.

It's a bit chaos. The first kind of bummer was I'm putting River in the car seat and I brought the cowboy hat that I got. Now I got this cowboy hat a couple weeks at Coachella at the Patron Al Aoto party that we went to and Kimo Sabe gave us hats and I was like this is perfect for a welcome party and it looked good or whatever and I put the

hat on top of the car. No. And I put in I had like River Rose engraved in the hat and got to the airport. No. Where's the fucking hat? No. And I had like River Rose engraved in the hat and got to the airport. And I'm like, where's the fucking hat? And I realized I left it on top of the car. Along with his wallet that he left behind in my sister's car. But that was fine, cause I had my passport and credit cards are replaceable.

And Natalie has another copy of my credit card, which Ayo! Came in handy. And so I'm like, you know what? It's just, it's just an item. Even though it was the item from our wedding, it's replaceable. We have a very nice flight. You know, river's great. Uh, we get to Turks and Caicos. We're honeymoon is about to start. It's so good. We're honeymoon is about to start. It's so good. We're go as a family to the customs, check in, whatever, the agent, we hand them all

our passports. Now, prior to this, we had to get River's passport. And then like a week and a half ago, Natalie's mom has been a big part of obviously our family since River's been born. And so she helped us, you know, she knew that we were rushing to get River's passport. Like we wanted to go to Turks and Caicos, but was like, we don't know if we can get her passport in time, but we did, you know, but there was a bit of a process. Nellie's mom calls us up like a week and a half earlier being like, I had booked, it was right

after I had booked everything, the hotel, her flight, she gets, yeah, the non-refundable hotel, she gets a notification from Delta. So she texts me and she's like, I just got a text from Delta, you've been busy, you booked honeymoon, I'm so excited. And then she responds with, oh my God, my passport's expired. Oh no. So. She has to drive to New Orleans for same day passport, she gets it done.

But I only bring this up because clearly we've been doing a lot of work in making sure all of our passports are up to date. Everything's good. Everything's good. We walk into customs, we are with the agent, we hand them all the passports. My mom goes first, she's stamped, she goes up where she's like, okay, I'm going to go and get luggage. We had requested a car from the hotel to pick us up. She starts getting the luggage into the car. And then the agent stamps the passport. We don't know who's passport at this point. Okay.

Stamps the passport, is about to hand it back and then looks at it and goes, there's a page torn here. And we're like, What? Huh? Like how did this happen? And we're like,

We have no idea. I don't know. She goes, hold on one second, walks by herself to the office. We're kind of looking at each other. We don't know what's going on. She comes back. She says, come with me. I'm thinking this is definitely mine. This is a me issue.

I had lost my driver's license and so I don't currently have my driver's license with me. And so I've been waiting for him to get in the mail. For the past couple of weeks, I've been using my passport to, you know, for any time I needed, you know, I've been carrying it license with me. And so I've been waiting for him to get in the mail. So for the past couple of weeks, I've been using my passport to, you know, for any time I needed to, you know, I've been carrying it around with me. Now he's just been sitting in the same spot as it always has been. So I'm thinking, of course, you know,

again, I do a lot of things right, but when I, you know, my brain works a certain way that it takes so much energy to do all the things I'm good at right, that like, when it comes to other things that I just, you know. Falls through the cracks. Falls through the cracks. This is something that I'm thinking,

this is, fuck, what's going on? And it turns out it's Natalie's passport. And they're just like, you got a page torn here. We went to Toronto, didn't have an issue. Like I've used this passport, I have never had an issue. I have no idea what's wrong. And this was really, I feel like a moment where Nick and I got to not only, I mean, we had River in our arms, we had to hold it together for our daughter, but also it

really like challenged us as husband and wife. And it was like the first thing we had to conquer as husband and wife. And at this point, you know, because I'm still optimistic because they're like, we're not supposed to let you in. I'm hearing supposed to, not can't. Right, or technically. And I'm like, now at this point, now he's- Sobbing.

Sobbing. And- Sobbing. Like it's gonna be okay, they're gonna figure it out. We're gonna get a lecture of some kind. Like clearly we're gonna be fine. They come out and they're like, sorry, we're sending you back.

And I'm like, this can't. You cannot enter this country. I'm like, we're on our honeymoon. There's gotta be something we can do. Yeah. And the good people of Turks and Caicos, I will, you know, and we found out, coming into Turks and Caicos,

there's this national story about this guy, right? Who they found like a hunting bullet in his luggage. Yes, yeah, we were. Talking about that, the one again. Yeah, and he's facing up to 12 years in prison. Yeah. And we had heard that story going to Turks and Caicos.

I don't hunt, so I wasn't worried. But then my sister says that there is some kind of US travel advisory for Turks and Caicos, and they're putting a lot of Americans in jail. So it was. So I don't know but what I've noticed about the good people of Turks and Caicos very nice, very pleasant. They like the rules. They were very nice while telling you no. They were. They were. They were very nice. She was like, baby stop crying, stop crying, it's gonna be okay. You just have to get on the next

flight out and go back and get a new passport and then come back I was like, I'm so sorry. I don't know if you understand. This is something this process is not it's not like a quick little And she's like well who all is gonna go back. She's like, yeah, she looks at me. She goes, are you gonna? Are you gonna still go to your hotel? I'm like, I'm not leaving my wife and like Natalie just said at this moment Natalie's crying I appear calm, but I'm radiating with anxiety. But I'm telling myself, you're two days on the fucking job. Time to be a husband. You know, like it's your time to step up.

You stay calm. Like everything's gonna be fine. And in that moment, like we're fine. We're grateful. We're here with you guys. We get to tell the story. But in this moment, it felt like a nightmare. I'm like, this is not happening.

We booked these non-refundable, when it came to our honeymoon, we went for it. Like again, we had been working hard, we didn't do any type of trade, we decided to make an investment in our honeymoon and spend on what we thought was, should we be spending this kind of money? Yeah. But we're like, you we be spending this kind of money? Yeah.

But we're like, you know what? We've been working hard, we really wanna connect on our honeymoon, so we went for it. And we were staying at the YMARA in Turks and Caicos. Thankfully, despite their non-refundable policy, the good people at the YMARA hotel graciously refunded our money.

Oh, that's great. So shout out to them. We thank them. But yeah, it really was, it was so chaotic, but like I've, you know, I got so many opportunities to call Nally my wife and that was great. Cause I was like, I'm not leaving my wife. You know, I got my wife here, you know, like I just, I just got so many opportunities to refer to her as my wife. And like, is I'm losing my mind.

This, we're about to get sent back. We're about to not have a honeymoon. And it was so hard because it was like, we had just had this high, you know? That would be it. We had the best two days ever. And then it was like, we were so excited. And then we got there and it was like,

we had put all this work into River's passport and my mom's passport. And it was like, I didn't check mine I didn't check net, you know, we just like assumed everything was okay We had been to Toronto a few months ago. No issues. Yeah, and it was just like I You know, it was just it was a motion from another Yeah, and and so they said you were booking you on the next flight out. That leaves at two o'clock and it's noon. And it's just chaos.

And if you ever been to the Turks and Ca- If you haven't been to the Turks and Caicos airport, it's not very big. It has no AC. It has like 10 seats. It's packed. There's not a lot of like food options, you know, with- It's packed.

It's a sardine can. So they're like, we're gonna go put you on the next flight. So we go to the Delta counter, the people of Delta were truly amazing. Oh great. They were really, really great people. And there was- But then the flights delayed. Well, there was an issue with getting River

onto our ticket. Don't know what it was, but we stayed- Well, it had to do with the fact that we had just gone off a flight. Yeah, so they were like, it was like we had just landed. And then obviously, hours later, we're getting on the next flight. And so it took, we stood in that airport for six hours.

And you know, River is losing her shit. You know, she's just been on an airplane for all these hours. We're now in this like hot, it's loud. She's very overstimulated. I'm trying to nurse her, she won't latch. So after six hours our flight is canceled. Because there was a maintenance issue and then after there had a tire issue and then once they got it fixed, of course the pilot timed out. So the flights canceled. The people on the flight, everyone loses their mind.

So in this moment, more chaos is going on, which was kind of interesting. And back to like River being overstimulated, it was like this weird moment because first it's a little scary. It's a little scary to be in this foreign country, but at the same time, it just puts everything into perspective because you're just like, at the end of the day, fuck it. We have to take care of our

daughter. We have to take care of each other. And as much as it sucked, it was our first moment of being a family and facing adversity together. But then they canceled the flight. And at first I'm like, Oh my God, this is, this can't get any worse. And it was so funny. So a couple of things. We got approached by a handful of people who recognized us and we're, we're looking miserable. Like, we're so like, we saw the wedding photos. We love you guys. And we're trying to be like, thank you. We're so nice. One of the ladies who was on the returning flight recognized me and she pointed out the Air Canada story that we told on the show. She's like, thank you, you're so nice. One of the ladies who was on the returning flight recognized me and she pointed out the Air Canada story

that we told on the show. She's like, you guys fucking hate Air Canada, which was kind of a fun little callback to the situation we are dealing with. We will never complain about an airline making sure that our plane is safe to fly on. So even though it sucked that the flight was delayed and that it was

canceled, especially what's going on with planes these days, we will never complain about an airline making sure it's safe for our family to fly on or it's safe for the pilot to fly our plane. It sucked. Don't get me wrong. So I'm sitting, me and my mom, Nick is pacing with River. I'm sitting there with my mom and I hear over the intercom that the flight has been canceled and it will be tomorrow at 10 a.m. And I lose it because I'm like, they won't let me into this country. We're gonna fucking sleep in this airport.

And we're on no sleep. We don't have a lot of supplies. We got our daughter. It's kind of scary in this moment. Right. But this wonderful woman named Lisa Simons, I hope I'm pronouncing, she worked for Delta. She would seem to be in charge of

the Delta crew at the airport. This woman is an angel. She was aware of her situation. She came up to me and she's like, they're gonna make an exception. They're gonna let you in for a night. We're gonna, Delta put us up in a hotel. It's a different hotel. The Palms, I gotta say, really enjoyed our one night at the Palms. It has a nice little like antiquey vibe, you know, it's not like a big luxury resort. We were there for a night. We saw the ocean from the plane in and we saw the ocean from the plane out. So we didn't see the ocean because by the time we got to the hotel, it was dark out. But Lisa, thank you. You were a saint. They got us out early, you know, because they wanted to deal with us first

So they put us in a van got us a hotel got us two rooms We found out the next morning. So but and so we had we had dinner We had one night and we had it put on one of my honeymoon outfits We all go to dinner and I'm just like babe. All this is is a bad day. Yeah, it's just that's it Like nothing's really changed. We're gonna go have a nice meal. We're gonna enjoy ourselves. The four of us had dinner, you know?

And honestly, I sat there and I was just like, it's weird going on honeymoon with your mother-in-law. But like honestly, Nellie's mom's been so great. And it was like, you know, we had dinner as a family and it was like, it was a nice dinner. And I was like, babe, we should at least go walk down to the beach. like Nellie like we were so tired Nellie passed out and I'm like you know what let's just go to bed and we woke up the

next day we had to get to our flight but we found out that after we left the airport that there was a bomb threat and they had to evacuate the airport and so the majority. But everyone in a parking lot for four hours, sitting in a parking lot. So we could have, that could, we could have. It could have been so much worse. It could have been so much worse.

Yeah, we were told it was a bomb threat. There was a threat of some kind. We verified with multiple people on the airline. There's probably a few people on the airline, on our flight who were a part of this whole experience and they can verify that, but there was a threat of some kind. And so immediately we're just like, the next day we're like,

you know what, it could have been so much worse. We had one night and again, Lisa was back there, was so nice to us and she was so great. Delta, if you're listening to this, give that woman a raise if you lot. But it wasn't just us, you could tell that she was helping so many people out prior to that when we found out the flight was cancelled Some gentleman from the flight started screaming at Lisa. He was very frustrated. I don't know what's going on and then another woman on the flight Called out this gentleman

It was like and then you know everyone clapped for this woman who called out the gentleman. And it was just kind of, it was interesting, just like we're going through all this craziness. And I could see on so many people's eyes, like everyone had their story. You know, like everyone had their story of why this was the worst moment for them. You know, I have to work the next day or, you know. I heard some girls say it was her birthday, she had plans.

Another woman who on our flight on back, she, an older woman had hurt her foot. She had just flown in on Sunday. So she was flying back trying to get medical care at her foot and her flight got canceled. So it's like, it really helped put things into perspective. And again, for all the complaints we've done for Air Canada, Delta stepped the fuck up

and they did a great job of making a terrible situation as good as possible. So we are very appreciative of them. But yeah, so we didn't get to have a honeymoon. Are we rescheduling? I think so. That's the hope. You know, I don't really, it's Thursday when you guys are hearing this. I don't know what we're going to do this weekend.

Maybe we're going to try to do something nice. We're not going to, it's Thursday when you guys are hearing this. I don't know what we're gonna do this weekend. Maybe we're gonna try to do something nice. We're not gonna know what's going around around here. We have to go to New York for work next week. We're thinking Puerto Rico because I don't know if we'll have enough time to fix Nellie's passport. And I just, and get back to why we did the honeymoon the way we did, we want it to be a honeymoon.

We didn't want it to be another trip. Yeah. So we're hoping to try to do that. We're still figuring things out. We literally just got back last night and we're sitting here with you all right now. So we'd definitely like to have a honeymoon. We don't really have anything planned and we don't know where to go yet. I don't think we're going to go back to Turks right now. But again, I wanted to say, despite all that, even the people at the resort, it's a lovely country and the people,

the people work, the people we interacted with, everyone's there, everyone's so nice and accommodating, you know, and it's a bummer that we didn't get to stay there and it's our, technically our fault. But my mom did say at the airport, she, you know, I've, I was extremely emotional, you know, it's like I've ruined our honeymoon. I, you know, if I would have just looked at my passport before, I would have noticed something was wrong and would have tried to get a new one or called and asked questions, but I had no idea. And I just felt we had spent so much money on this honeymoon.

We were so sleep deprived. And all these things, and I was extremely emotional. And my mom came up to me and she said, I really saw Nick be a husband. And he really, him taking the blame and saying, and I was extremely emotional and my mom came up to me and she said, you know, I really saw Nick be a husband and he really, you know, him taking the blame and saying, you know, I feel like a lot of men probably would have been mad at you or would have been like,

well, fuck, you know what, look what you've done and just angry and Nick was so calm and he was so just, it's gonna be okay and he just kept, you know, assuring me everything would be okay and kept hugging me or rubbing my back. And then for him to be like, you know what, maybe it was me, maybe, you know, it wasn't,

like it could have been anything, we don't know, but like we're together, we have each other, it's gonna be okay, we're gonna get back home, we're gonna sleep in our bed, we're gonna try this again another time, but like it's gonna be okay. And so my mom like pointing that out of just like, I saw him be this like really stand up good husband.

She was like, it made me really, really proud and really happy. Thanks. Yeah, so we'll circle back and let you know. It sounds like the universe has like a better honeymoon plan. And like this was its reminder that you guys have each other despite external factors.

You know, you just gotta deal. You just deal with shit. You know, this won't be the most difficult challenge of our lives or relationship. You know, and it was a nice little, to me, like, you know, being a dad or being a husband, it's the opportunity to take care of your family. And like, this gave me the opportunity to do that.

So I'm looking at it as a gift and just a reminder for that because like otherwise what's the point? And like I felt like River was there for us. She kept us calm. And she's like, at times she was laughing and how can you be mad? So yeah, that was our wedding story in all its glory.

Anyways, best wedding ever. There truly was. I'm so grateful to have you in the river and the wedding and all of you guys who can make it. And it was the best party and you should party plan for a living near an artist. And I, you know, it's, I know Amanda would never do it because like

that place was meant to host weddings. We were so grateful to have it in Nellie's family to be able to do that. It was a dream come weddings. We were so grateful to have it in Nellie's family to be able to do that. It was a dream come true. It's so good. The night of our wedding, I was like, that was the coolest fucking wedding. All right. Well, it's time to finally get to our Going Deeper guest, Ava Max, a very delightful

guest, very talented artist. She was born in Milwaukee, which I was too, so that was a nice bond. But she's got some really great music. We're big fans of her. We got a chance to finally talk to her about, you know, that challenge in the public life of trying to be open about your personal life all at the same time of trying to maintain some privacy.

But obviously, we'll let you listen to it. I hope you enjoy. Thanks for tuning into another lengthy episode, but we know you, we know you wanted to listen to it, I'm just. Uh. Uh. Uh.

Uh. Uh. So anyways, uh, this is another great episode. We have a great guest. I hope you enjoy Ava. It's time for Ava. So there's this really cool company in my hometown of Walk Show, Wisconsin.

It's called Sporting Smiles. Well, you've probably heard me talk on the show before that I do. I'm a bit of a teeth grinder. Yeah, it's not a great habit, but there's something you can do if you relate to that because Sporting Smiles crafts custom night guards. And I've been using them for the past month and it feels great. They got great custom whitening trays. Again, they have custom mouth guards and retainers. So if you're looking for any of those check out Sporting Smiles today. There's no going to the dentist it's all done 100% online and it's super easy. I'm not a big like dentist fan but there are some things I need to get done when it comes to my teeth and grinding them was definitely one of them. Yeah and I mean for me

Sporting Smiles, their retainers were a lifesaver. I'm from NorCal that's where my orthodontist is but but I live in SoCal. So getting those impressions is not convenient. I threw my retainer away in the trash. I needed a new one. It was really fast. They sent me the trays in the mail, did the molds, sent in the pictures, got it approved, sent it back, had my retainer just like that.

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Eva, welcome. Thank you, hi. How's it going? I'm good. We usually start this episode sometimes. I haven't done it in a while, but I'll ask people how's their heart. How's my heart? My heart is fragile. It is fragile. It's been through a lot, you know. Oh my gosh. What has it been through? It's been through, it's been like mauled over by a truck. Oh my. By a bear. Oh my. Do you wanna talk about it?

Are you okay? No, I mean like I'm on the other side. Yes, of course. Sorry, this was years ago. We're on the other side now. It's been through a lot. What have you learned the most about your heart being mulled by a bear?

Is there anything to learn from that? Stay away from bears. You know, take it one step at a time afterwards and don't overthink it. Good advice. Well, when you say your heart is fragile, is that a strength to you or how do you define fragile? It's strength.

Okay. It's strength. Yeah, definitely. I think it's important to look back and try not to make the same mistakes, but we are human. That's true. We have to give ourselves grace. I know, and how would we get stronger

if we don't make mistakes? What's the toughest lesson you've ever learned from? Toughest lesson. And then maybe a follow-up. What's one lesson you're still trying, you're still learning about? I have learned to take things one day at a time. Like kind of like focus on the present,

like today, not tomorrow, not yesterday. I think I've worked really hard things one day at a time. Like kind of like focus on the present. Like today, not tomorrow, not yesterday. I think I've worked really hard to be like that. I'm not like that much of an anxious person anymore. I'm really good at living in the present moment. That's awesome. That's really important. Right? Have you been an anxious person?

I mean I can be a very anxious person. You know, I don't know. When I started off in the music industry, I was very anxious. I just wanted everything to come out on my music right away. I'm like, why am I holding on to this? And now I've learned to like hold on to the music and like really take my time and wait and you know, take a second, take a breather. Everything was urgent in the beginning, especially right once We Put Psycho came out and I wanted

everything to happen right away. So now I'm at this place where I'm just like chill. You're trusting the process. And I'm okay with it. It's not even like a struggle anymore. I'm just, it's like whatever is my motto right now. You've had a pretty like crazy, you know, kind of come up or backstory.

I mean, also did you know you were born in Milwaukee? You were not born in Milwaukee. I was. You're from Milwaukee. I was born in Milwaukee. I was born in Milwaukee. Oh, nice. Oh, cheese heads. Let's go.

I love me some cheese. Are, nice. Oh, cheese heads. Couple of cheese heads. I love me some cheese. Are you still identified with cheese heads? Cause didn't you like move when you were pretty young from Milwaukee? Two years old with my little backpack. I like started walking to Virginia. No, my family, we moved to Virginia.

They didn't like the snow. My parents were Albanian immigrants. Does Virginia not snow? Not like Wisconsin. No. But my parents were Albanian immigrants. That's valid. Does Virginia not snow? Not like Wisconsin. No. Okay. But my parents were Albanian immigrants from Albania, so they were used to like sunshine and the beach. So when they, it was a shock when they had to shovel snow

most of the year. And I remember when I was about eight, I was just talking to my mom, I'm like, why'd you move from Wisconsin? She's like, I could not shovel snow every morning. I'm like, she's like, you know, we just love the beach. So we moved to Virginia Beach. There you go.

Do you ever go back to Wisconsin or not really? I did for a show like a few years ago and it's so crazy. I mean, cause I was born there, but I don't know it that well, but I want to explore it more now. You should. Obviously that's where Nick's from. So his whole family is still there.

So we always go for Christmas and this and that. And every time I go, I am like shell shocked that people live there and they put up with the snow. The snow is tough. I love snow, don't get me wrong. I love snow, but all year round. It's fun for like a day. But some people love it.

I mean, like to each their own, right? Like I, some people really love it. Maybe one day I'll just live in a cabin in the woods where it snows all the time. Yeah, I was pretty excited when I found out you're from Milwaukee. And then I was like, oh, she moved right away. I might have to go back to my roots,

like 20 years from now, maybe. You never know, I might be in a cabin. Yes. But having said your parents being immigrants from Albania, that's, I mean, that's a, that's a crazy backstory. You know, they left, they like, fled. It was really tough at the time because it was a communist country, Albania.

So they could barely listen to the radio. Everything was so regulated. And so I remember just growing up here, my dad always talked about how fortunate we are to be able to listen to even the radio. He wasn't allowed to. Because even if neighbors heard you, they would tattletale on you

and they would essentiallyattletale on you, and they would essentially hurt you and kill you and take things from you and your family and food. It was almost like a nightmare. My parents are very strong people, and I've learned so much from them. I think they're the reason why I made it in my career, because they always, ever since I was young,

they're like, if we can make it through that and then flee there and then live in France in a church for a year and then figure out how to get to America and all that, they're like, you'll figure out how to be a singer. I'm like, oh, okay. How crazy is it that they couldn't listen to the radio and then full circle their daughter is on the radio? Oh, for sure.

That's, I mean, they're just, they always tell me how proud they are. And my dad always gets teary eyed at the shows. My dad comes a lot to the shows and he came on tour with me last year. Really? Yeah, he's so cute. He's a softy.

Like he's a good guy. What are you been up to lately? What have you been doing for fun? What's new? I know you've been working hard on the new music. So like what is Ava doing for fun? Well, while you're not crushing it at the studio. Well drinking a ton of coffee all the time I'm like I've had so much coffee I made a joke earlier remember that like not to have the coffee here cuz I'll just chug it during the interview

No, that's how I start my day. Look column. Yeah, I do I do love some La Colombe. The draft, I gotta stop, I'm addicted. I might stop. I might have to stop. But yeah, so I start my day with a lot of coffee. It's really funny when I have a day off, I just don't wanna be, I don't wanna think about Ava Max, I don't wanna do anything Ava Max related,

I just wanna go to like, maybe like walk around a furniture store. Like, I don't know, I love interior design I know it's really weird Me too. Yeah a couple interior design fans. Yeah, we'll go together. Let's do it. Do you want to talk about your favorite aesthetics? I mean, I love I love Marvel. I love have you been to mid-century LA? No, oh my god. Wait. It's over. It's kind of in more- It's in North Hollywood. North Hollywood area, yeah. Oh nice. You will be obsessed.

Okay, I probably will. I'm like an HD Buttercup girl. Yeah, love, don't die. It all looks new, but it's like this really- Yeah, but it's mid-century. Yeah, from all over the world, I don't know, it's all these really cool pieces. I gotta go.

It's very unique. I'm like, have you been to mid-century LA? I'm like gonna go this week. Is that from like this, it's all like new furniture, right? It's like this time period. I was gonna say, how do you define mid-century though? Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, you're like, it's mid-century.

I'm like, I'm sorry. Facebook Marketplace, everything is mid-century. And don't ask me what dates those are, because I do not know. When they, like the 1950s, is that what they mean? Well then there's mid-century modern. What would you say your... My site?

Yeah. I like modern, I like modern. It would you say your... My side? Yeah. I like modern. I like modern. It's so funny. My manager came over to my place and she's like, it's so sterile. But I'm very utilitarian. You know, I'm very like, I'm a minimalist

and I like things minimal, but which is funny that I just go into a, you know, a furniture shop and I want to buy everything. So maybe my next place will be heavily hoarded. Yeah, like how are you sterile? I feel like I have accumulated so much shit. Oh no, I can get rid of so much. The only thing right now is the clothes. I have to figure out the clothes

because they accumulate every month a lot. So I got to figure out a system in place because I do have a bedroom where it's just, whew, a lot of piles of clothes. So I have to figure that out. Yeah. But you throw, we need, huh? I'm good at giving away things and getting rid of things.

That's a talent. I feel like not a lot of people have that where they're like, they don't have this emotional connection to this dumbest thing. Yeah, I have a little carry on with, if the end of the world happens, like my favorite boots and like, I know it's really weird. What is your like, for someone who's really good

at getting away? My favorite boots. But like, what can't you live without? Like, it's the... Like my combat boots and like I know it's really weird. What is your like for someone who's really good at getting your boots? My favorite boots. But like what can you live without? Like it's the. Like my combat boots. Like if the end of the world happened, like I'm gonna just take this carry on. Did you, are these just like Steve Madden combat boots?

No. Or did you find these in like, or is there a story behind it? Are these your dad's boots anymore? Yeah, they're your dad's boots from O'Vanio. No, they're the most comfortable shoes. They're gani, they're just gani. And like they're just like super comfortable shoes

that I just always have in my little carry on just in case I need to run. You know, I'm on the 37th floor right now. So I gotta be prepared. Just in case you need to run, you're gonna run in combat boots. Maybe I get a parachute. No.

What else is in this bag other than the boots? Do you have a go-to movie? La Colombo draft. La Colombo coffee. Literally simple. Just simple. Just like a simple outfit, end of the world coffee. We simple just simple just like a simple Alpha end of the world outfit. I'm prepared. I'm a prevention girl. Like I wouldn't prevent things

Do you want to talk about this? I know my biggest Literally, but I feel like if the end of the world happened, I would not know what outfits were You have your boots picked out All the boots like, oh no. What would be my what? Your end of the world outfit. Like if they're like, it might be the end of the world, what we don't know, but pack a bag and you get one outfit.

Listen, I don't think I would go comfortable. I think I would go like something fucking crazy because it's my last outfit ever. No, but what if you had to go hunt and like, Oh God, that's what I'm doing? If you ever wanted to wear like assless chaps, now is the time. You know, they show. Listen, yeah.

No, listen, I will tell you what's the number one, the only thing that I'll have in my bag, it's the only thing that I'll ever need in life if I'm ever stranded anywhere, it's garlic salt. That's true. Wait, what? Put garlic salt on literally some sticks and it's delicious. Lowry's garlic salt.

Oh, that's really good. Well, you're so real for that. Yeah. Right. That's all I need. I'll be stranded anywhere and like garlic salt and I'm good. See, I don't eat a lot of garlic. I need to eat more garlic.

I don't eat garlic. Do you cook? I need to give you this. Garlic makes me tired. It's like, it puts me to sleep. If I have a little garlic at dinner, I'm like... You have all that coffee. I start snoring and...

Yeah. You have so much coffee. How is it not... Garlic, for some reason, does something. Interesting. It's like a sleeping pill. Are you a vampire? We never could cook for Ava.

I'm like, don't give me garlic. No, it's gonna be a little, but like, not like a... She's wearing all black and has sunglasses on. Maybe she's a vampire. No, I was... You know what's crazy? I do feel like a vampire. No, but I love nighttime. But I'm not really a morning person.

It's giving vampire. Oh my God. No, but I was in Italy last summer and they made this bruschetta. And it had blood in it and it was so good. They had blood. They had so much blood on it. It was giving to my life. Yum. No, it was just so raw, the garlic, that within five minutes I was like, I'm not okay. I'm going to sleep. And then I pass out. Oh my God. No, it was just so raw, the garlic, that within five minutes I was like,

I'm not okay, I'm going to sleep, and then I pass out. Oh my God. Honestly, that's cheaper than maltose. Quick, go get some garlic at Whole Foods, I wanna test this out. I was exhausted within five minutes. Well, Natalie, don't you have in your purse? I'm like, I'm gonna give this another try,

and every time, every time. That's crazy. Pass out. That is really crazy, I've never heard that before. I really like that. It's really, she's like, I want to stay awake and eat it, but I'm just tired. Did you go to Coachella this year?

I went first weekend. You went first weekend. Yeah. Oh yeah, it was fun. I tore my leg though. I had that much fun. You tore your leg. I tore my muscle. It's my groin.

That's so painful. The word groin is so gross to me, groin. But I tore it. And so- What were you doing? I was running like a fairy, you know? Not a vampire this time. In the combat boots, obviously.

Maybe a vampire fairy. She didn't stretch before she went in an all out sprint. Oh no, I was like wearing these big platforms and I was just running in and out of just like, you know, uneven terrain and it was just great. And then the next day I'm like, oh, I can't walk. Sick. Oh my God.

What was your favorite set? Ooh, that's tough. I loved Lana Del Rey's entrance. Right? Yes. Oh God, didn't she make us all feel like a badass? Like I'm like, yes. It made me want to get on the back of a motorcycle.

Yeah, it's so bad. Where are you watching it from? Just like really close actually, really, really close. But I like No Doubt too, obviously. The part of the guitar part is a don't speak. Da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na- Who are your music inspirations growing up? Obviously is- Definitely Gwen. Gwen. Definitely Gwen, no doubt. You were a big Britney Spears fan? Yeah, I had the pink, light pink and light blue CD. Did you have that?

Obviously, yes. Of course. Of course. Of course. And then definitely Mariah Carey was number one. Mariah Carey was number one. I would sing all of her songs in my basement, drive my neighbors crazy.

Could you hit all the notes? You know, that's why my mom moved cross country because I did hit all the notes at like 14 and she's like, all right, we're leaving Virginia. We're going to pursue the music dream with you. I'm like, really? Just because I can sing a Mariah Carey song? Okay, cool, sick.

Can we get a whistle note right now? Okay, let's see. Oh my God, I'm scared. I haven't done a whistle note in months. I don't even know what a whistle note is. Whistle, whistle note. Better than me? I can't do it right now.

You have to have a song on. You can do a whistle note. Just try. You just squeak? It's really strange. It sounds funny. I'm not committing. I think you're too nervous. I think you're like, yeah, I don't like it. So you're like not giving it your all.

I can't even do that. No, you probably can't. How does one do that? You just gotta try. I can't whistle, can you whistle? I can't whistle. See, I can't whistle. What do you mean you can't whistle?

I can't whistle either, yeah. A lot of people can't. I can't whistle. I learned how to whistle by sucking in. Oh, whoa. And then I blew out. Why is that so funny, Ellie? Is it the word suck? Because I have the personality of like a middle school boy

and hearing your boss say, first I sucked in, then I blew out is kind of funny. It's so funny. I'm just talking whistling. I'm jealous of people who do that. Do you remember that song? Can you blow my whistle, baby? Whistle, baby, let me know.

Like, I had no reason singing that. Wait, is that about Sucking Dicks? Yes. Is it? Yes. So wrong. I notice something new every day. So wrong.

If you listen to it, if you read the lyrics, it's like, actually, it's not. It's bad. Terrifying. And the fact that I knew every single word and would be like, mom, let me show you the dance I made up to whistle. Yeah, but our parents didn't really know, I feel like.

My parents definitely didn't, at the time probably, didn't think whistle blowing was. My parents knew. He literally says, you just put your lips together and you come real close. Can you blow my whistle, baby, whistle, baby? Nevermind. That seems clear.

My sister got, this will date me, but my sister for Christmas got a Vanilla Ice cassette. When Ice Ice Baby was popular, are you familiar? Of course, but why? He has another song called Stop That Train, I Wanna Get Off, and then my dad read the lyrics and took the tape away from my sister. He's like, yeah, you can't dad read the lyrics and took the tape away from my sister.

He's like, yeah, you can't. Read the lyrics to stop that train. Stop that train. Vanilla ice. Is the train like? He wants to get off. Of like a train with someone? Like doing like, is a metaphor for what?

I think getting off. Like, oh, not literally getting off, but like getting off. You said your dad got you that for your sister. Okay. It was a Christmas present. I don't know if my dad got it. I think, or they did.

And then he read the lyrics and didn't know. I remember that. Here's two of the verses. What have I gotten into? Sooner or later, I thought she'd got the clue because my body was tired and full of sweat and perspire. The situation I was in could have started a campfire. No more skeezin' and teasing for the ice right now.

I find my corner, play it cool for a while, just mackin' and skeemin' on a woman I thought was cool, but now I realize that the ice was the fool. Have you ever written a song where you're like, I can't, this is just, I can't, this is crazy. God, I wanna tell you. Tell me. Well, now's not the time can't, wow, this is crazy. God, I wanna tell you. Tell me. Well now's not the time to keep secrets.

You have? But I can't, cause like it's coming out. He was like, oh, like a tease. It's about an orgasm though. Yes. It's about an orgasm. And the lack that happens for us. Sorry, mom and dad, you're watching change.

No, definitely, it's about an orgasm. And it's just kind No, definitely, it's about an orgasm. And it's just kind of, you know it's about an orgasm, but we're not saying it. Right. You're hitting like, it's, I can't say the words. Everyone knows. Because it's not out yet, but you'll know it'll come out. You wanna tease it a little bit?

It's just like about. What was the inspiration? Popping the cherry and all that. Oh my God. Like a lot of those lyrics are in there, but the inspiration was just like being on a high with someone and just like, excuse my friends, having a lot of sex.

Yeah, yeah. Oh my God. Do your parents listen to all your interviews? Yeah, that's why I'm trying so hard. She's like, well, they're gonna hear the song. Yeah. I know, but it's something different when you hear it with the beat.

Like it feels different. Me actually talking about it. Is it gonna be weird when your dad's in the living room just cranking up the new orgasm song and he's just like, I know, I know. He'll say it for the first time and then he'll be like, nevermind, next song. And that's not my favorite song.

What about the music video? I know, I don't know yet what it's gonna be. A lot of cherries. How does it feel doing music videos now? I feel like it was such a big thing years ago. Does it still feel the same? I still love it. I don't care honestly what anyone says.

A lot of people are like, oh, it's not cool anymore and do a whole big one. I'm like, I'll always make a music video any day of the week. I think it's so beautiful to share the song in a visual way. Like, you know, I think even when I'm creating this record, I see it visually in my head.

And so I kind of feel awkward when I don't make a music video. Yeah, I feel like that's the best way to see what the artists like meant for the song. Yeah. You know, it's like, we interpret it however we want to as fans, but like to see your thought behind a music video, it makes it, I don't know. I love it.

It's more, I feel like I connect to the fans more that way. Yeah. Yeah. What's the love life like these days? Oh, the love life. I love these questions. Single and mingling? I'm dating.

As much as you're willing to share. I'm dating, no I'm dating. Yeah. Just dating. You're mingling? I'm dating. As much as you're willing to share. I'm dating, no I'm dating. Yeah. Just dating. You're dating. Yeah, I'm dating. What are your top five things that you find attractive in a partner? Funny, a good heart.

Good heart's number one, sorry. I can tell if someone has a good heart. How so? And that's attractive. I think we have a lot of women who listen to the show who are out there, they're single, they're mingling, they're looking for love and they're looking to Ava. My friends would call me psychic actually,

because I feel like they always show me the guy's face before they go on a date. And I'm like either like, oh no, he sucks, oh no, he's a loser, oh no, he's just horrible, oh no, he's gonna break your heart. Like, and I'm always right. And they're like, Ava, just look at this face, what do you think?

I'm like, okay, that one feels good. I don't know, something with the eyes. I can feel it in the eyes. But if I were to say, if you're on a first date, right, and you're trying to size them up, again, I can go base a lot on energy. But I think it's the way he treats, let's say, the waitress or the waiter

saying thank you so much, like let's say the waitress or the waiter saying thank you so much. Taking time to just be nice to everyone around us. I think that's super important. I don't like it when people are rude. I'm not a rude person, so I can't be with a rude person. All right. I want to throw up. I'm like, I'm like, I need to leave. Like I've been on a date before where I just feel just this guy's just so egotistical.

I can't handle it. So a good heart is number one, but I think it's tough to say, it's energy. You gotta really feel it. Gut instinct, that first gut instinct too. So Nally's your friend. She's like, hey, I'm gonna go on a date with this Nick guy.

What's the energy? Yeah, look into Nick's eyes and tell me if he's a shit person or not. We're getting married this weekend, so this is like our last chance to let her know. Yeah, if I need to back away. I'm like, wait a second. No, no, no. But seriously, we are getting married this weekend.

Which I'm, congrats. I'm so happy for y'all. Crazy, so crazy. This is huge. Any advice for us? Any advice, because I've been married multiple times. It doesn't matter. I think sometimes, I think those of us who have, you, because I've been married multiple times. No, I think sometimes- It doesn't matter. I think sometimes-

Just being nice to each other. I think those of us who have, I'm not married yet, but those of us who have tried- I've been in a long relationship, a seven year relationship. Been in love and failed. I think people who have had their ups and downs have a lot of sage advice to offer.

You know, I will say this, I've learned a lot. I've been in a few relationships and one really, really long one. So I think just know that like, if you have a good time with that person, don't take it for granted. I think that is number one. It's like life is long, but it's also short. That's what I've come to realize.

So like, we just got to love the people that are around us. And I don't know. I'm at a place where I wanna live each day very positive. Be with someone who motivates you, obviously. And I mean, you guys just had to get together. That's just like the most, that's the closest thing you could possibly do together. That's beautiful.

And just be happy and treat each other with kindness. That's what I think. I know it sounds so cliche, but it's- I know, yeah, I was gonna say, I feel like the cliche things is like... Communication is number one too. I think communication sometimes, if you don't have communication, that breaks up a relationship quickly, right?

I've noticed, like when it's just too closed off people. Oh, yeah. Do your friends come to you for advice or the other way around? They do. Do you often... Both, but yeah. Are you good at taking your own advice for your own love life? It's funny when I start talking to them,

I'm like, oh yeah, I should probably take that myself. I should probably done that. We are, yeah, but that's team in nature. When you give your friends advice, you're not like, I mean, you want well for them, you wish them well, you want them to be happy, but you're not personally impacted by that. No, of course, there's good and bad in everyone too.

You know what I mean? Like there's good and bad in everyone. No one is 100% perfect. That's another thing I've really realized. Like, and not to say I never thought like, oh, everybody's perfect. I don't think that. Like, I don't think I'm perfect.

I just think going into relationships in the past, I'm like, oh, I can't handle this. It's like, no, it's like, but why? Why? What's going on? Is that something in me? Like, do I need to fix that? It's like looking inward, I think is very important in a relationship, right? Yeah.

Putting yourself in the other person's shoes, I've learned to do, and it works. Empathy, there you go. Empathy, I'm an empath though. I really feel for people. I'm like a mother in a way in a relationship. Like, I'm always just like, I wanna take care. Yeah, that's fine too.

Another huge star like yourself who's recently like been kind of very proud of her relationship, Taylor Swift, are you a Swiftie also? Oh yes, definitely a Swiftie, I love her. I love what she's done and it's funny, a lot of people ask me, oh, why you? Why'd you make it? Why did you make it all of a sudden?

And I look at them, I'm like, it's just consistency. And that's what she's doing, just consistency. Anyone who's doing, who's consistent in their craft will continue to go up. And I think that's one thing new artists forget. They like, right? I think just keep going. Oh, you wanna take two year break?

It's gonna have an effect on your career. You gotta keep going, even if it's a little step, keep going, cause you're still going up, right? Yeah. I think that is the number one advice I'd give to young artists. And that's what Taylor does. And I think that's what we can learn from her. She doesn't stop. She keeps going. Even if there's a problem in her career or whatever, she keeps going. Yeah. Even if you don't think she's working today, she's doing something. That is the secret sauce. She's always, no one cares about her business

more than Taylor. No, yeah, that's the secret to success. If you stop, it's over. You just gotta keep going and it's gonna happen. It's right there. Is that something you picked up from her or have you always had that mentality as well and you just also see that in what she's doing?

It's almost like I can't give up if I tried. Like my whole body doesn't allow it. Like I'm happiest when I'm working too. So that's like, maybe that's a flaw in me. I just love to work. I'm working constantly, even on vacation sometimes on the second day. I'm like, okay, I'm ready to do something today.

You know, it's strange. But I also feel like, you know, I'm human. I get sad and angry and upset and it's okay to take a day or two, but then just get back on it. It's like, I get sad, angry, and upset. It's okay to take a day or two, but then just get back on it. I think it's important. When she writes, she's very well known

for her little Easter eggs and clues in her songs. Is that something you do when you write music or not as much? I do it sometimes. I did it for the last album. But I don't know, it depends. I'm not as like, I feel like she really goes in and I think that's her thing.

Everyone has a thing. I don't know, I just think she's great. I think she's great. Again, she keeps doing things. Whatever it is, she keeps doing it and we all love to watch. Doesn't it get exhausting? It is exhausting.

It is exhausting. I'm not gonna lie. I mean, the traveling is hard. My first world tour last year was so fun, so incredible. It gave me so much love inside performing every night, but traveling to a different country almost every time was exhausting. But I try and sleep wherever I can.

Sleep for me is number one. I've been seeing a lot of, I remember this was a thing, I think when Harry Styles was on tour, but people throwing things on stage. I know last year you were attacked. I was. By a very big man. First of all, are you okay?

No, I was good. He scratched the inside of my eyeball. What? And he smacked me and I fell back.. I mean there's a video of it. Yeah I remember seeing that. Was he actually attacking you or was he doing, was he being an idiot? He came on stage and attacked me. Yeah and thank God one of my crew members in Bodyguard, like they were, they just grabbed him right before he could like really fall on me because he was a

big guy, like 6'4 maybe? Massive guy. And I was like, and I thought for a second there, I thought one of the dancers shoes hit me in the face. And I was like, what? That's not the routine. I'm like, wait a second. Practice this a lot. And then I look over and I'm like, oh, I just got hit. I just got hit. And like, cause I was saying goodbye to the crowd. It was the last song. I mean, it was the last, you know, I was saying goodbye. It was in LA at here. And so I was like, goodbye, everybody. Love you. And boom was saying goodbye. It was in LA here. And so I was like, goodbye everybody, love you. And boom, go ahead. It's interesting.

Was he a fan? Do we know? He, on Twitter, he had this, he has like this obsession. Like he got his mom involved saying I'm his, like, she's like saying I'm her daughter-in-law. Oh no. So a little bit of a creepy obsession. Yeah, oh my God.

It's a little scary, follows all my friends. Like, I don't know. It is terrifying sometimes because that creepy obsession. Yeah, oh my god. It's a little scary, follows all my friends. Like, I don't know, it is terrifying sometimes because that creepy obsession could turn into, I mean, hopefully not something bad, but something bad. And it scares me a little. But I feel like that, like, yeah, the fans, like, wanna, with, like, throwing things on stage, I know they want to, like, give you,

I don't know if they've ever done that to you. Obviously, this was like... They throw things like teddy bears and roses. And I think that's, yeah, it's cute. But when a six four man comes in a taxi, it's a little frightening obviously. Yeah. But I'm just happy everybody else was safe

and we were all good. It could have gotten really bad, yeah. Yeah, I mean, it comes with it, I guess. Yeah, it did hurt. I gotta say, it's something I've always wondered and I've never asked a musician, but the dancing and the singing on stage seems very difficult.

It is when I have a glass of wine the night before, for sure. That's it, that's the only time it's hard? I swear, when I drink the night before, it's a lot harder. But then when I get some rest, it's okay. It's kind of like just a good workout. But how much practice goes into that?

But it is hard. Because the choreography, the singing, doing it like kinda like just a good workout. But how much practice goes into that? Because the choreography, the singing, doing it while you're, the breathing, like I can't sing period, but I imagine you need your breath, you know? I work out before every show. Okay. And that gets me going beforehand.

If I don't work out before an hour show, it is very difficult to take a deep breath and like keep going. And in the middle of the show, you're just like, ow, my chest kinda hurts cause you're just like, ow, my chest kinda hurts because you're just like, you're not stopping. So I try to get some workout in beforehand and it really helps.

And I meditate, yeah. You meditate. I meditate. Nick just told me yesterday he needs to start meditating. Yeah, I did. Sometimes it's 10 minutes, sometimes it's 15 minutes, sometimes it's 30 minutes even. I just really try to meditate every day,

especially before a show. I'm not as good. Actually, it's funny, I'm more in shape and on my game when I'm touring than at home. At home, I'm like, you know, I don't sleep as much, I drink a little more. I'm just like, the routine is off when I'm home. But that's all I do on tour, so.

Do you find it difficult to like manage relationships or date while you're on tour with your hectic schedule? That's a great question, because that is, that's, yep, I do find it difficult. Well, I'm married to a musician, so I know they're like, yeah. So that's why I ask you like, what your thoughts are on that.

It's hard because I obviously, I'm a quality time person. So I like to- Is that your love language? Mm-hmm. So it's hard for me being far away for such a long period of time. Two weeks usually is max for me. And then I have to see that person.

Or vice versa, they have to come to me. Because I think two weeks is a good rule to have, wherever I am in the world, I'm in a relationship, I wanna see that person within that. I can handle two weeks, but then more than two weeks, it doesn't feel like a relationship to me. So like long distance would be off the table for you. Yeah, I mean, it's funny,

because I kind of do that sometimes when I'm traveling, but not, yeah, longer than two weeks. It's not for me, I'm a quality time person. Well, we kind of met long distance, but it was like every two or three weeks we would see each other. Yeah, see that? Yeah, I feel like that is definitely a good.

But also distance makes the heart grow fonder, right? It does. But yeah, it's like two weeks is like, is a good, like I miss you. Like you feel like you're just like, ooh. Yeah, it's been long enough, but also not too long. Yeah, you don't lose momentum. Yeah, it's tough.

It's tough for it because I just have this two week thing. It's like a two week rule, I think. And it's healthy, I think, because then you're like, am I in a relationship? Despite you being kind of psychic and good advice for friends, is there something that's like, like what's your dating crypt tonight?

Like what are you, what puts the blinders on for you? What is it about a guy that you might ignore a red flag or two? Like a pet peeve? No. No, almost like the opposite. The thing that you're drawn to, that like you have a tendency of overlooking things that maybe you should like not,

but you know, it's like, maybe because they're always so funny or they're- Emotionally unavailable men. You have a thing for emotionally unavailable men. No. Ooh. Yeah, it's, yeah. No.

Yeah, I think I have a thing for that. And it's not even that I have a thing for that. It's more so like, I like the timid and shy person and sweet person, right? Quiet. Quiet, maybe it's not timid and shy. It's not timid and shy. Because quiet can be confident.

Yes, I love confidence. I think confidence is number one. So confident and quiet. I'm not a big fan of like a massive talker. The loudest guy in the room. Yeah, I'm more so, yeah, that's not for me. But those quiet ones sometimes, once you get to know them, they can be a little closed off.

Yeah, you never know. And I think it's going well in the beginning, and then I feel like almost like we're not on the same path sometimes. But again, I can't speak for everyone, obviously, like all quiet guys, right? But it's hard for me sometimes to tell the difference whether or not they want a committed relationship or not.

That's a lot of people these days. I'm all or nothing. So what is your like, what is the Ava Max dating timeline? We had a guest, no I only asked because we had a guest recently. Whoever I'm dating now is gonna see this. Well, it's important to know

because I think nowadays, nowadays when it comes to dating culture, there's a lot of unknowns. We recently had our guest, our friend Tom Schwartz, who came on with his new girlfriend, and they talked about how they're not official yet, but they are in love. Which a lot of people-

See, I don't like that. There you go. So a lot of people found that to be- I'm like adios. My love language, more so now, is like, if I don't feel that, oof, that I need that, I need that passion. And if I don't have it on the other end, adios.

So how many dates before you define a relationship? How many dates before you define a relationship? Because a lot of people now are just trying not to, everyone's trying not to define a relationship. If I don't think by the third date you can be my boyfriend, or even, I know pretty quickly. Yeah, you can read in the eyes.

I'm a love at first sight kind of girl. Like I can't, every time it's happened, it's been like, you're mine. Okay, so but like after, you know, if you know in three dates, but what happens? But after three dates, if I don't feel like it's going anywhere, I feel like I have to have. And how would a guy make you feel like

it's going somewhere after three dates? Well, like, all right, so you go on two dates. Now you're on your third and you're like, I can see it. I like this guy. What does he have to do? Like, are you guys defining? Are you having the talk then? I mean, we could or we could just if I feel like it's mutual, I won't have the talk.

Okay. But if I'm a little confused, I'm like, why would I lock down to someone if I'm confused? Because again, I'm loyal from the bat. Like if I like someone, I'm loyal. Like I don't wanna talk to anyone else, everyone else is blocked, goodbye. I'm gonna focus on one person.

Like if I really like someone. Do you make the first move or are you a, they can? I like to make the first move. I'm a little feisty, you know? Now I made the first move. Yes, you did, I did. See, I love Yes Girl. I did, I made the first move and now we're getting married.

Yes. Well, you could argue she made the first, like second, third move. Because I know a lot of girls, I know a lot of girls don't like to make the first move, you could argue she made the first, like second, third move. Cause I know a lot of girls, I know a lot of girls don't like to make the first move, but I've always made the first move. And again, to each their own, for me personally,

it works out best that way. It truly does. It's what I try to tell people all the time. And they're like, no, but I don't chase, I attract. No, of course. And I'm like, it's not chasing. You're just simply saying like, We should go out.

You're on. Hey, do you want to grab a drink? How are you? Really attracted to you. Yeah. No, but I agree. I think it's like the most confident thing you can do is just to be like, hey.

Yeah, I'm like you then. I'm like you in that way. Yeah. Obviously it's cool when someone comes onto me, but honestly I'm less attracted to that. Same. Oh my God, it's the worst. I'm like, why are you even talking to me right now?

And I'm like, I didn't come up to you. Wait, you like me? Disgusting. I'm like, ugh. No, it's like cringy to see a guy like try to flirt and like shoot their shot with you. It's kind of how I felt. And it's not that I like to chase, right? It's not even that because my friends are like, girl, you like to chase what? Like you like to chase.

And I'm just like, no, it's not that. I think in the beginning. It's more just kind of marking your territory.'m just like, no, it's not that. I think in the beginning. It's more just kind of marking your territory. It's like, hey, I'm shooting my shot. I'm calling, I'm just pointing out that I'm interested. Yeah. It's not like, I didn't feel like Nally, she made the first move, but she wasn't like begging for it.

She was just like, hey, what's up? And then she like made me kind of show her that I wasn't, I was interested. You know what I'm saying? I like that. And I also like, cause like for instance, if a guy comes onto me too strong,

I'm like, how many girls are you going on? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Every day. Yeah, if they're too good, if they're like too suave. Not hot to me. It's gross. Not hot to me at all.

What's the worst pickup line you've ever heard? Do people still do pickup lines? Is that what you mean? I've gotten a few. I mean, like if there's a move, there's a move, you know, you can tell if someone people still do pickup lines? I've gotten a few. There's a move, you know, you can tell if someone's serving up a move. You've had a few? I've had a few weird ones. Especially when they know who I am if I'm at a bar and they're like,

are you the girl who's doing Sweet But Psycho? They're like, I'm obsessed with that record. Are you actually Sweet But Psycho though? And I'm just like, totally. I'm like, but my friends are waiting for me so I'm gonna be right back. And I don't. I have to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back.

And I just feel uncomfortable. No, cause I get it. You're thinking no guy that I would ever date would ever say that to me. No, it's weird. I had a guy just send me paragraphs on paragraphs about sending me my own footage. Look at how cool this is.

And that is nonstop for days, sending me all of my performances. Yeah, I've seen them. I know, I've seen them. But talking, it's cute, it's sweet. But I'm just like, I don't wanna talk about that. I'm just like, I wanna get to know you and vice versa. Not about my singing constantly.

Does it make you uncomfortable and people know who you are? It does. Oh yeah, would you date a fan? I don't think so. I don't think so. They would have to not act like a fan. If you hate my music, I love you. No, no, I mean, I love my music, obviously.

I love what I make, but it's when someone doesn't talk about my music and feels like they really wanna get to know Amanda, you know? I'm like, okay, I can feels like they really want to get to know Amanda. I'm like, okay, I can feel that and I can get down with that. What is your favorite first date conversation? What do you want to talk about? You're on a first date. Definitely not me.

What could he want to talk about that makes you go, I'm into this conversation? How would you want to spend an hour meeting in the NOAA guy? Getting to know where they came from, like who they are, what they like. I know simple stuff like favorite food, like what they want out of life. I like talking about the future a lot.

Like I like, I'm a dreamer. So I- Like what about the future? I could sit and have wine and talk about the future for hours. Just like life and what we wanna achieve. I mean, I definitely am looking for a partner. Like I love a partnership.

I think it's beautiful. It's a beautiful thing when two people can come together and make something beautiful. Do you find it difficult to date other musicians? I don't. I don't. You don't date them or you don't find it difficult to date other musicians? I don't. I don't. You don't date them or you don't find it difficult? I don't date them.

Oh. Obviously if one came along and there was crazy chemistry. She's just like no, no. No, no, I feel so bad. Because if one came along and I was like, oh my God, we have great chemistry, it's over. But I'd love it.

Again, I'm all about chemistry. But I haven't found that I'm like, I have crazy chemistry with. Would you rather date a musician or a math teacher? A math teacher. A math teacher. Yeah, I'm nerdy like that. I like nerds. A cop or a firefighter.

I actually like nerds. I like dorks. You like nerds, okay. Like a confident dork. A confident, sexy dork. Yeah, glasses, for sure. A little tie. Chanel glasses. Muscles, no muscles. Yeah, I love it. God, glasses, for sure. A little tie. Chanel glasses. Muscles, no muscles. Yeah, I love it.

God, I'm blushing. What do you feel like in your career was the pivotal moment where you were like, I've made it, I'm a pop star. Oh my God, it's so funny. Pop star is such a funny word. It's iconic. Even me saying, no, that's what I am, it's weird.

I hear what you're saying. But you're a pop star. I am. We're saying it. You're a pop star. It's, thanks guys, but it's just so weird to hear. But I definitely- It's like what do you do for work?

I'm a pop star. Yeah. I'm an accountant. Oh, cool. It's tough, because obviously I love to sing and make music, but the fame aspect of it I don't love. Hence why I wear glasses because I'm just like, lights. Like, I'm not, I like the dark, you know?

She's a vampire. I'm a vampire and if I can be in the dark all the time, oof, I love it. Yeah, that's my dream. But I think it's great, but I definitely think I felt it when I was traveling a lot after Sweet But Psycho. I had never been to Europe. So when Sweet But Psycho got big, mind you, it got big within like two, three weeks.

It went number one everywhere and I lost my mind. I was like, wait, wait, wait, what? What is going on right now? It was like the only pop song on New Music Friday at the time. And I was like, I don't even know if people are gonna like it. And they did. And I started hearing it I don't even know if people are gonna like it. And they did. And I started hearing it everywhere.

That must be surreal. It was surreal. I was living in almost like I wasn't in my normal reality. It was almost, it felt like a fake reality. I'm like, okay, this is real. And I need to learn to get used to it. But for a couple of years, I was, oof, I was like in shock. Imposter syndrome, that's what it is, right?

Yeah, yeah. Do you remember where you were the first time you heard yourself on the radio? Yeah, I think Finland. Finland? Yeah, in a bus. And I started screaming and I like literally did this and I fell.

Oh. Like I over-drunk-tized it. Like a tour bus though. No, it was like a sprinter just going to radio stations singing my song acoustic. You know, like going, I was doing so much promo. You had the radio on? Yeah, and I heard Super Psycho,

and I legit fell on my knees and then back. I'm like, this is crazy. It was so, so surreal. You have a song, Weapons, and the lyrics about you using your words against me, and I really enjoyed those lyrics. What was your inspiration for that? Just because we think nowadays people love to use various words, you know, in a relationship and they're like, people will turn gaslighting such

a common phrase. And I feel like gaslighting is tough because that I have such a funny feeling about that word now because you know, it's so used so much. Co-opted and misused, yeah. And misused, it's misused. And I definitely do not like it when someone gaslights me. I mean, that is a pet peeve of mine as well. I'm just like, whoa, I can see it. But when it's used a lot, that's when I'm just in a relationship.

That's when I'm just like, okay, I was wondering. I'm not being gaslighted. I'm not gaslighting. And I think that's when I'm just like, okay, I was wondering. Like I'm not being gaslight, I'm not gaslighting. And I think that's when it becomes kind of a problem in a relationship. When it's just like, when you're trying to discuss. Was that song about a particular relationship? It was about everything, but mainly that song was not about a relationship.

It was about just how people were talking bad about me when I first made it on the scene. And they were just like calling me a copycat and they were calling me all these things. And it was kind of hurting me and because words are like weapons, they go straight to your heart and your mind and it kind of diminishes your light. And that is what that song is about. It's just how I'm just like kind of shutting it out now. And even now when I read just how I'm just like kind of shutting it out now. And even now when I read it, I'm just like, I know my truth. Are you good at not reading the comments

and the bullshit and all that stuff? I'm not good at not reading it because I'm online and I read it. But I do, I should take a break from social media. Yeah, no, it can be exhausting. But I'm human too, you know, I get hurt from some comments. But people all have different opinions. That's what I've learned and it's just what it is, you know. You can't please everyone.

Yeah, everyone thinks differently. Everyone grew up differently. Everyone looks at you differently. It's never gonna be one way. How do you feel like as an artist and as a person, you're the most misunderstood? I think because I don't share a lot of my personal life. They think I'm this like industry plant sometimes, right?

Some people. An industry plant? I've read that. It's comedy to me because I'm like, that's so not what it is. I worked so hard like growing up to make it over 15 years. It took me over 15 years to break through. And I'm like, if people only knew all of it,

and even the haircut, they always thought like, the label made me cut my hair like that, the max cut, I guess. And it wasn't that, I was just wanting something weird and different, and I wanted to look completely different than everyone else. So I just did that myself, and I am online, they're like, she's forced to put that wig on,

and I'm just like, no, I actually love playing with wigs. I love different hairstyles and then, you know, it just kept getting bigger and bigger and louder in my head so it kind of hurt me in the beginning. But I now know, I'm like, it doesn't matter. The noise doesn't matter anymore. Why do you feel like you were so closed off personally to your fans?

Is that just kind of a barrier you wanna keep? I'm just, I think, for my own sanity. Yeah. I think since we're all energy, I believe that we're all energy and we're made up of stars, stardust. I think if I released all of my personal information out there, it would crumble

because not only is there positive energy, there is negative energy and it can tear it down. So I tried to keep my personal information out there, it would crumble. Because not only is there positive energy, there is negative energy and it can tear it down. So I try to keep my personal life private. I think there's also something to be said about like, people can hate on what they see and you know, you can be like, well, that's not true. You don't know me, you don't know me. But then when you do show them real parts of you

and you show them your real personality and you show them, And then they relate, yeah. And then they hate on that, then it feels a little, Or hate on it. It feels so much more, well, it just feels so much more you don't know me, but then when you do show them real parts of you and you show them your real personality and you show them. And then they relate, yeah. And then they hate on that, then it feels a little. Or hate on it. It feels so much more, well it just feels so much a little more personal. Because it's like, that's actually who I am,

and like, so it just feels, I think, harder to show people that personal side. I'm learning more and more to show my personal side. I mean, this is probably one of the first interviews I'm talking about, really anything personal, because I am trying to open that side up to my fans and I know they wanna know, so I'm trying. I'm just a very private person, which is hard for me,

and that's the part of fame. I guess I don't like. We get it. I mean, I feel like every week there's always something that I'll go to Natalie or vice versa and I'll be like, you know, should we share this or should I share this? And she'll come to me. And our first thought is like, yeah, why not? What you know, we're proud of it or, you know, or that's a vulnerability that I think could

help people or whatever it is. But it's always a reminder, you know, I'll remind Natalie or vice versa. It's just like, well, we don't have to share this because once you do, it's out there. And then, and I always kind of remind Natalie, it's like, just know that like, if they use it against you, how would that affect you? Because that is always a reality of being vulnerable

and putting yourself out there and sharing more of your personal side. And that can be difficult because no matter how well-intentioned you are, there will always be someone who tries to tear it to shreds or rip it apart or make some weird accusations and it affects you. Again, everybody's different.

For me, I came into this industry wanting to share my music, wanting to perform, singing, writing songs. I didn't really think about the fame aspect. so I'm almost like a late bloomer with sharing my personal side because I didn't want to, so stubborn about it. I just couldn't fathom it. So now it's more of like, no, I want the fans to know a little bit. You know, I do, I do. I don't want to, I don't want to hide behind a curtain.

So I think this year is definitely like the year I come out of the curtain almost. But it's a learning process, cause it's hard for me. It's hard for me. What about it is the hardest part though? Have you been burned for it? Like did you try in the past and regret it?

It's not even that. I think I'm just a private person. That's all it comes down to. I try and keep things separate and that's all it is. It's not that the words, like I've always gotten hate from things. It's not, oh, what are they gonna say about it? That doesn't really bother me.

It's more so just a decision now I'm making to open up a little more. So it's just a new decision. I think making to open up a little more. So it's just a new decision. I think we're all excited to learn more. I thought even that. Are you ready to give some relationship advice? Yeah. Let's do it.

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and found some DMs to girls and also texted his ex-girlfriend. Okay, when did you, first of all, I'm sorry. Yeah, it's okay. I'm sorry. What made, how long you been dating him? A year. A year, okay.

What made you wanna go through his phone? Is this the first time you've gone through his phone? Or is this the first time you found something? No, this is the first time I've honestly ever done that. And this did happen a few days ago, so like this past weekend, so still pretty fresh. And I did happen a few days ago, so like this past weekend. So still pretty fresh and I'm just gonna, I'm praying I'm not gonna cry.

Okay. But yeah, this was this past weekend. So it's the first time I've ever had that urge. And I guess that urge was right. What gave you the urge? To be honest, so we've been dating for a little over a year now, and we just kind of got to this place.

Honestly, this relationship has been really good, and we had just gone on this amazing trip together, started talking about the future and marriage, kids, just kind of taking it to the next step. And then this past Friday night, we had gone out a little bit and then came back. And this is gonna sound a little psycho. He fell asleep and I was like making myself food

in his apartment and I was like going to get in bed. He had fallen asleep on the couch. I was going to get to bed. And as I was walking back, I saw he had like fell asleep on his phone so that it was like staying open. And I remember I just like looked at it and I was like, I should look at that.

So I picked it up, then I started, I just went like right to Instagram and started going through and just found, I mean like months and months of DMs to girls, random girls. Like- Multiple women, it wasn't like just one. No, it was like a lot. And the weird thing about it was that,

he would either respond to a story, DM them something random and then they would respond and then he wouldn't respond. But then maybe like a month later, there was like another one where he would say something, they would respond, he wouldn't respond. And these aren't like women that you know of, or like his friend, these are like strangers or just like random Instagram girlies.

I mean, nobody that I know. The only person you know, I knew was obviously not even personally knew, but you know, his ex girlfriend, the other girls, like some were girls that you know, he had been following and obviously like going back, I could see that there were, you know, his ex girlfriend, the other girls, like some were girls that, you know, he had been following and obviously like going back, I could see that there were, you know, previous conversations. Yeah, like, some of them is kind of embarrassing. I keep kind of laughing some like I like get the ick by guys that do this, like I'm dating one of those guys, like this is embarrassing. But yeah, he was like, like girls he followed some girls that he didn't like it was like, you know, these messages would be sitting in their request box like on their Instagram.

Like what kind of messages or is he like, do you? I'm in shock. Do you have screenshots? I have screenshots. I have notes. Oh my god. Have you come from? God, she came prepared. Love you.

Oh, I came prepared. Like the messages were definitely like flirty and like and not necessarily explicit, but definitely flirty. We could have been so cute. Let's go out, let's get drinks. What? Come visit, I have a bedroom for you. I would have invited you. I can't, are you still with him right now? Yeah.

Have you confronted him? Yeah. Oh, I have, yeah. You have. I can't, I'm pretty fracked. And that night I was reading them. And I feel like, you know, me, maybe two, three years ago, if I found this, I would have defaced his apartment,

left in the middle of the night, and burnt the entire city down. But I moved beyond her. I just like, took it in and, you know, kind of just sat with it. And I ended up going to sleep and you know, waiting until the morning and then when he got up he like came and got in bed tried to touch me and I was like don't fucking touch me and then It kind of went from there and he was like why and I just was like I feel like I don't have to tell you

Why like I don't think I need to explain this and then we sat in silence for a bit Did he know? I think he must have known, like, you know, deep down. But then as we went on, I was like, you fell asleep on your phone last night and left it open. And he was like, what did you see? And I was like, again, I don't have to tell you that.

What did you see? That's a terrible question. You're being way nicer than how I would have been. What did you see? It makes it sound like which app did you open? Yeah. Because there's more. Did you, does he have Snapchat? Yeah, I did look at that and that didn't really unearth much.

Okay. Text, I went through all that. What was with the ex-girlfriend? That was like, it was kind of bizarre. And this one, they weren't, it wasn't flirty like these other ones, but I just was like, why? It was, I guess they had run into each other

and then they went back and forth a little bit and the girlfriend was like, we have to catch up sometime and kind of just stuff like that. But I just think that's weird. I'm just like no. Just unnecessary, yeah. So where are you two now

and what can we actually help you out with? So we had this conversation Saturday morning and the conversation on Saturday morning, I felt like it went really well and he like really like took accountability and took it on the nose and just was like, I'm so sorry, like I hate seeing you hurt, like I hate seeing you like this.

And then that day I actually had like a friend in town. So I kinda had to like, like I felt good by the end of it. And then I had to like go see my friend and we're running around. And I also feel like I can't, I don't want to tell like any of my friends about this because I think they would deface his apartment

and burn the city down for me. So I just kind of like went on with my day and I think I was just in shock then. And then like Sunday, I started to get really just sad and I just was like crying all day. And then yesterday I had work and so I'm busy, you know? And then actually Sunday night, he ended up like calling me and like he wanted me to come over.

He wanted to talk about it. However, this is kind of where I am now like very conflicted is I went over and he claimed that he had talked to his therapist, which he's been a therapy for like, I guess, a little over a year, like prior to me. And his therapist put this thing, you guys are going to die. He put this thing in his head that was like, well, what, what made her go through? Why do, why would she go through your phone? Oh, and try to like turn it on you. Yeah, so now, that sat Sunday, it became a thing of him being like,

well, I didn't know we were in a relationship like that, that you're gonna go through my phone. I've never had anybody do that to me. Do I have to hide my phone from you? And I was like, please get a grip, really. Do I have to hide my phone from you? Oh, this is an immediate runaway. Okay.

So this is where we're at. Ghost the bitch. Like right now, he's still trying to turn it on you? Last night when we talked, he called me because I was sobbing and crying. Wait, did he literally call you up and be like, so I just talked to my therapist. Turns out it's your fault. I can't. No, it was definitely like, and he literally call you up and be like, so I just talked to my therapist. Turns out it's your fault. I can't. Like.

Yeah, no, it was, I mean, it was definitely like, and you know, he has the buzzwords of like, I'm not trying, I don't want to minimize your feelings. I know this is so bad, but you know, I'm just like really alarmed at how, you know, you went through my phone. And to be honest, like my first thing, like I feel like I'm a very open person in general,

but I don't really have anything to hide on my phone. So I don't think, I I feel like I'm a very open person in general, but I don't really have anything to hide on my phone. So I don't think, I don't think I would care. Like I let anybody like look on my camera. It doesn't affect, like I wouldn't be freaked out by someone going on my phone. Well, that's the thing. You could have gone through his phone and you could have found nothing. And then you could have either a kind of had that moment with yourself and been like, you know what, that was silly of me. I shouldn't have done that.

And you could have even have said to him the next day, listen, can I be honest with you, you left your phone open and I had a moment of weakness and it went through your phone and I just got to say, thank you for proving all my insecurities wrong and yada, yada, yada. And then that would have been such a minor little, I shouldn't have done that, but at the end of the day,

thanks for being who you are, blah, blah, blah, blah. Turns out, again, I shouldn't have done that, but at the end of the day, thanks for being who you are, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, turns out, like again, this wasn't like one message because yeah, going through someone's phone is not necessarily a great habit in a relationship. You want trust. And I am a big believer too, if you're looking to find something,

chances are you're going to. You know, like you could have been calling up and be like, I found something in his phone and you could have told us, and we could have been like, yeah, but I guess, you know, like the the ex-girlfriend if all you found was a message to the ex-girlfriend and then we were Like well, what's that message about? It's like well they ran into each other and they exchanged kind of like friendly banter But there was never really any crossing the line and even though it like annoyed you that he talked to his ex and didn't tell

You about it, which would have been wrong and you would have the right to be upset about it But like we could have talked it off through and at the end of the day I've been like, and you would have the right to be upset about it, but we could have talked it all through, and at the end of the day, I've been like, you know what, maybe there's nothing really there, you shouldn't have gone through his phone, and maybe just some better communication, but this is a laundry list, and an historical pattern of him talking to multiple people and saying wildly inappropriate stuff

for a guy who has a girlfriend. And he's very much giving fuck boy in a single era and not like deeply in love and in a committed relationship talking about his future. And that's the big problem. And like, is he still fighting the whole phone thing? Like, I mean, I guess where, where do you, do you want to fight for this relationship or like,

or do you want permission to break up with them? Cause we can give it to you. So that, yeah, that was kind of like my, I don't know, like my first reaction, like when I was reading these, I like felt bad for him in like a pity kind of way where I was like, ugh, like, why do you feel the need to do this? Well, that's the big question.

Why does he? You're far too kind. You're far too kind. Tell him to stay in therapy and run away. Tell him to stay in therapy. That away. Tell him to stay in therapy. That's kind of like my fatal flaw sometimes where I am very into therapy and psychology and that kind of stuff.

So I'm always looking for like the, like, okay, well, why did this happen? Or why did you do this? And kind of what he also said to like in our initial conversation was that this has been a thing for him. Like in his, he had a girlfriend for five years up until three years ago.

He's also 31. And I guess this was kind of an acceptable thing in his past relationship. The girlfriend apparently was like, as long as there's no action, it's fine. I don't believe that. Yeah. That's him being like, I have this ex, she let me do this and so I just like

thought every girl would let me do this. Is that basically what he said? That's a lie. There's no way. There's no. Is this the same ex-girlfriend he's been DMing with or someone else? Yeah, the same one. Oh, well great. Well you can reach out to her and ask if it's true. There's no way. I've never heard that before. Yeah, and I just, he also did bring something up about how he's talked about this in therapy and it's like some attention or validation thing. Sure, that makes sense.

And 100%. And also truth be told, in my previous relationship, it was a very toxic, like very messy relationship. I was cheated on relentlessly. I did some retaliatory cheating and I like felt, I remember I felt like horrible about it. Like I literally wanted to like die. I just felt like the worst person ever.

And then like going on in my life and into my relationships, like I feel like I can see, like I look at how I was feeling when I did that. And sometimes I'm like, how can you be going along for, you know, almost a year, like doing this, but then also hang out with me and seeing me and telling you love me and, but you're saying all this shit to these girls, you know? Well, yeah, I mean, you'd be surprised how people can do things, but. I know, that's what I don't understand.

And the simple explanation is, he was getting something from them that he wasn't getting from you, you know? And that's, I did ask, I said I was like, you're not getting enough attention from me? Sometimes it's the type of attention people desire. I don't know. Yeah, sometimes it's just like,

sometimes it's just a matter of wanting new attention. Sometimes it can't be enough. Some people are suckers for that constant fix of making sure it's always, like building that roster of attention. Sometimes it is a numbers game, especially for men. It's just like, it's not about any more meaningful connections. It's about just making sure they can.

I think a lot of guys like- And that's why I felt like those DMs were. Yeah. Because it was like the DMs were. Yeah, just. Because it was like the message, the response, no response. Yeah, it's, yeah, very much as a guy, like a lot of, I think, I don't know, maybe women feel that way too,

but just knowing you can and just putting it out there. And he's doing the thing where it's just like, well, it's not real, you know, he is obviously just inviting to himself, you know, why just message someone? I didn't really do anything. I didn't even respond to their message, you know? it's like he has a pattern of that, you know, and he's trying to justify it. So that's, you know, one, if you were trying to make it work with him,

you have to first figure out why he's so willing to justify the stuff and then to figure out why he's needs to do this. But your big problem is he's trying to defend it now. And I wouldn't even blame his therapist. I mean, people are notorious for like listening to the therapist and then taking what they wanted to hear selective hearing from their therapist and then regurgitating it to like, say people like you. I bet if you would talk to this therapist, they'd probably be like, I didn't say it like that. You know? Yeah. You know, they maybe they mentioned like one moment it's like, well, she did go through your phone and that's not necessarily healthy. And he's like, you know what, fuck that.

Yeah, it's not. And like completely, you know, who knows? You know what I'm saying? So like, I wouldn't blame his therapist. He's clearly not wanting to take a, I think the big takeaway is he's not interested in taking actual accountability. You know, he's not falling on the sword

and being like, you know what, this is fucked up. I do have a habit of this. This is gross. Like, you know,, this is fucked up. I do have a habit of this, this is gross. Like, I'm embarrassed for myself. And even then, it wouldn't be a sure thing to actually choose to forget him, but he's not saying any of that. And that's one of the anything, the bigger red flags.

And the thing that concerns me is that like the initial conversation, and I feel like we've had a very good relationship up until now. And I think this is also why it's like so like shocking to me. Um, and I don't know, like he's normally very good with if there's like a conflict or if I'm like upset about something, he's very good at handling it. And, you know, Saturday he handled it the way that I would have expected him

to and taken the accountability. But then the next day I was like taken aback because I just was like, I've never seen this. He's never given me that kind of reaction to things where it's like, well, he's never like, well, you're dramatic or you're like nothing ever like that. He called you dramatic? No, no, no, I'm saying he's never said that.

Like I never had that reaction to me when we've had an argument or if I'm upset about something. So then all of a sudden this like, this idea is coming up of like the kind of gas lady like turning it on me or making an excuse, which I've just, it's never been a thing between us before. I feel like he definitely got defensive. I feel like you like pointed out something that he's been doing because he is missing some sort of attention or validation and he needs that, do I still have it? Can I still get these girls? I might not want them, but will they still respond to me?

And I think you calling that out and him, you being like, you've been messaging these girls, I think he got embarrassed. And I think that's why he was turned offensive, turned it on you. I don I think that's why he was like, turned offensive, turned it on you. I don't think that's like who he is as a person. I don't think that this is like, some side of him that you've never seen. I think you caught him in the act. He got very embarrassed and he handled it extremely wrong. I think I, I agree. And I, I felt that was kind of also the feeling that I was getting, like when we were talking about it, it was almost like he wanted to like

fall out of his skin and hide. Like very like humiliated, embarrassed. Like, and I'm also like, I was very calm, but I do, I can have a way with words. And honestly, the first thing I said to him was like, I don't understand the reasoning and like what urge you have to be doing this, but you should get it checked out

by a professional. And he was like, you know. Was that before and then he did and then he came back and said, it's your fault. Yeah. So I should have, should have taken back the professional part, because they're not professional. Well, yeah, I mean like, you know,

it sounds like you can acknowledge that that last part you kind of said to hurt his feelings. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm back flired, not shocking. But like, what do you want to do, I guess? I don't disagree with Natalie. I mean, like, this is not for necessarily artists. People have gotten over worse, you know?

Like, you could choose for this not to be a fireable offense. You know, like, it's not fun, it's not easy to get over, and there might be some healing involved, but offense, you know? Like, it's not fun, it's not easy to get over, and there might be some healing involved, but like, you could. But things tend to come up a lot once it happens once. So are you willing to deal with this for the rest of your life if it keeps coming up? Are you willing to deal with that?

That's the real question. But also I think you can have, you can go from this and say like, okay, we're gonna work through this and it's gonna be okay But we have now from this point forward We have an open phone policy and it's not like I get to go through your phone. That's good and look through whatever It's I know your password You know my password like if you know, I want to look at if I want to google something cuz my phone's charging in the room

I'm gonna grab yours and google it. It's not like, there's no gray area. It's not weird. It's natural. It's your second phone. It's natural. It doesn't feel weird to grab his. He shouldn't be scared that you grab his. Yeah, it shouldn't give him anxiety

when you're going through his, and again, not going through his phone, but like Nellie said, I know Nellie's password. She knows mine. There are times where we have a kid, right, so she's like, hey, can you look this up? I don't know where my phone is, it's like hidden in the couch, and I grab her phone,

I go in her password, and I Google something, and I'm in her phone. And I'm not looking at her DMs, I'm not looking at her text messages, but I have full access to her phone and vice versa. And I don't, you know, it's like, I'm not worried like, oh fuck it, just don't look at this, don't fucking look at that fucking thing,

don't fucking do it, don't fucking, well thank God. You know what I'm saying? So like, to Nellie's point, suggesting that shouldn't be, he shouldn't be like, well why do you need to? Are you gonna go through my phone? It's just like, well, the idea is that the idea shouldn't be like, well, why do you need to? Are you gonna go through my phone? It's just like, well, the idea is that

the idea shouldn't bother you. And I need that type of security given your past. And I think you're smart enough to see, you can tell when they start acting weird, when it starts being like, here, no, no, I'll just look it up for you, or like, why don't we just find your phone? When they start getting weird, you can be like, no, why? Like, and I think you can read that

and you can go off of that. But I do think having an open phone policy really will ease that like future anxiety and heal this wound. And maybe you can grow from it. And I think that's kind of what I'm looking for is, like, the the things to do to move on and heal and like work through it. And I, you know, I think I've kind of just been going through all these emotions. And my big thing at first was like, okay, let me like take a minute and like feel all these things. And then once I'm kind of like leveled and calm, like all, you know, I'll look at it. And my other idea was, you know, let was, we're taking note of this,

this is down on the books, I'm gonna proceed. And now that this is a thing and that this has been acknowledged, this is noted. I mean, I'm not necessarily gonna be holding it over his head or anything like that, but I think being aware, I don't wanna move on acting like, I can think being aware like I don't want to move on acting Like like I can't ignore this, you know, I can't act like this never happened So I have a question for you part of this was so hard because it felt like the relationship was going really well

So it came out of left field. Yeah Do you? Right now today despite what's happened forget even though this happened the question still stands Do you have you leading up into this and still now feel like he loves you? Do you feel his love? Do you feel like he desperately wants to be with you? Do you know that without having to ask them or has he communicated that? Or is it just one of those things where like, well yeah, we had a good relationship because we get along and nothing was a problem and I guess our

sex was okay. But like in this moment, are you like, I know he I know he's obsessed with me. I know he loves me. I feel that love constantly. How would you answer that question? I would say yes. And I think like, that's what scares me though. Why is it like, how can I like, feel that and like, how can he say all these things, but then be doing all these things? Like that's, I think that's what freaks me out a lot is it's a, and I said to him too, I was like, where do I cut when you're doing this? Like, where do I come into it? Like, do I not even occur to you? Does it not even, you don't even think that, oh, this would upset her. Cause everything I do, like, you know,

whether I'm making a dinner plan or whatever it is like he's the first person on my mind. Sure. I don't think he did. Yeah. I don't think he does think of you and honestly I think it would be worse if he did think of you. Yeah. Yeah.

And have you ever had a moment? I know it's really hard to sometimes hear that or even think that but in reality if we really put ourselves in other people's shoes, I think it's possible to realize that we've had moments of selfishness. You've probably done things, do you have siblings? Yeah. Parents, are you ever in a relationship with your parents?

You know, I'm sure you love them a lot. Have you ever done something where you clearly did not consider their feelings that hurt them? Yeah. Right, so like when you ask yourself, how could you do this, like, you know. Yeah, I guess it was really just all about him. Yeah, but I, so I think that's,

it's good that you feel that, because I think a lot of times when we talk to people and it's just like, well, how does he make you feel? Or how do they make you feel? And people have a hard time answering that question. So the fact that you can answer it is good, you know, and I know it can be scary, but yeah. So now you have to figure out, yeah, why he is doing this

and how can you build that trust back in a way that you don't have that instinct to ghost through his phone. Yeah, it's good to have that policy, but like you don't want to have that policy that you actually, it'd be weird it's good to have that policy, but like you don't wanna have to have that policy that you actually, it'd be weird if Nellie and I had this policy and every day I was like, well, thank God, you know, another- Pull up the DMs.

Yeah, another day in the clear, I'd say, you know, like in those warehouses where they're like 100 days without an accident, you know? Yeah. That would be weird. Exactly. You know, but like you have to heal again. And so I also say this as it sounds like two individuals in therapy, you know, as

he is and you are very pro therapy, you know, I think that's great that you are. But you do get, for the very reason that you guys, you demonstrated it, you have to be careful that you guys aren't using the, you know, it's like, well, I talk to my therapist and it's well, I talk to my therapist and it's, well, I talk to mine. And you know what I'm saying? That's a great sign of two people getting in a couple's therapy.

That might be something that you guys could benefit from because you guys going to individual therapy, great, continue that. That's how you guys continue to work on yourselves. I hope he looks into this on his end. But him coming to you and talking to you about what he learned in therapy is really, I find it to be sometimes offering more harm than good. Because again, I don't think even

without trying, we sometimes can weaponize that against, you know, it's like we have the best intentions, but we want to talk about what we learn. It's like, well, that really sounds like you're blaming me for something. You know, and sometimes I think we, again, won't hear, well, we'll selectively hear what a therapist is trying to say. We're in couples therapy, you guys could be talking about something that triggers you or vice versa. You have this couple therapy is like, well, wait, you're not hearing what they're saying.

Go back and repeat it. They can pay attention to, again, what a good couples therapy is literally there to do is to mediate, right? And make sure that each other is hearing the other person. And when they don't, they pause, point it out, kind of recenter, reconnect. And like, it sounds like maybe you guys could benefit

from that because like individual therapy, you're working on yourself. You're not necessarily working on the relationship. Now it might benefit the relationship, but like, I don't know if you can get to a place with him from a healing standpoint without you guys getting on the same page. benefit the relationship, but like, I don't know if you can get to a place with him from a healing standpoint without you guys getting on the same page and right now, clearly you're not.

Right. And that's how I feel like in his mind, he is, you know, quote unquote, very offended and upset that I went through his phone. And then in my mind, I feel like he's not really grasping like how hurt and upsetting this is to me. Have you asked him what about it offends you so much? Typical invasion of privacy, you know, crossing a boundary, that kind of thing. Tom, it's going to get worse.

But yeah, but like, what is the boundary that he, what is that boundary? I think so the way he like was describing it and how I like made myself a meal and like got in bed and took his phone and like put the TV on. And it was like I was in a movie like getting to work and I was like, yeah. And really like and to be honest, I said like I said to him like, you know, I'm sorry that offends you completely. I was completely purposefully saying like, you you know I'm sorry you feel that way because I don't really think that I am like I mean look what I found it'd be different if I

didn't find anything I'd be like yeah that was like screwed up I mean like I'm sorry but you know I I'm I don't know how to like have a conversation where he can like completely grasp how like hurtful this is to me without considering this whole phone thing. And I also don't know if there's a productive way to say, forget about your damn phone. Look what you've done. I mean, you almost kind of have to say that. You just be like, I'm not gonna argue semantics with you

over a phone policy. At the end of the day, I would have loved to have gone through your phone and not found something and apologized for questioning you, but that didn't happen, unfortunately. Right. And I feel like it should be null and void, the phone thing, because of what I found.

And you can say, go through my phone. I take great pride in being in a relationship knowing that my phone like I I take great pride in being in a relationship knowing that like my phone like I Trust you guys say I love you to each other. I'm assuming like we we say I love you to each other you guys live together Okay, but you spent a lot of nights together. I'm sure yeah, I love you. We say I love you together We're spending all these nights together like we I tell people you're the person I trust the most and vice versa So like going through each other's phone for two people who say they trust each other

clearly shouldn't be an issue. And yes, I guess I'm sorry. It's not that you went through his phone. It's that you doubted him. But unfortunately. But I was right. Exactly. Because he wouldn't, anyone,

if I walked home and I caught Natalie in like this like deep dive in my phone and let's say I left my phone, I'd been like, why, why are you going through my phone? You know, I would have been like, it would have been a little weird. I mean like that seems off, but I wouldn't have been triggered. I'm like, did you have fun?

Was that enjoyable? Like, is there something I can help you out with? Is there a reason why you had, you know, but I'd be totally calm. I wouldn't have been like, how dare you? Like, it's just like, cause there's just nothing there that I'm, you know, but I would have taught.

I would have been like. Yeah. I was like, I feel like the people that get so upset and offended about this are the people that have things to hide. Correct. Because I don't think that you could look at my phone right now, tomorrow, next week, any day.

And yes, you can acknowledge, yes, I wish I didn't feel that. And that's something if we choose to stay together, we need to also acknowledge and work through as a couple. I'm happy to talk about that. But for you to try to completely turn this around on me and act as if my actions somehow let you off the hook. You know, he's trying to sell it as like, well, if you had never done it, you would have never found it. And therefore

I wouldn't be in trouble now. Right. You know, and I, I said to him too, I was like, so what was the plan? Like, were we just going to keep going along and you were going to keep doing this? Like, what was the idea here? And really, I don't know how else I would have really found out. He's a bit older than me, kind of has a different group of friends, unless I had some hey girly text in my DMs. I don't know how I would have found out. And so I'm not necessarily mad at myself. Does he post you on his Instagram? I'm mad at myself. Does he post you on his Instagram? On stories?

I haven't posted him. I'm just like, I'm not a big poster. I just didn't know if the girls he's dealing with. Yeah. We're like. Yeah, well, yeah. And he hasn't posted a picture in months, and he did make a comment about,

cause I said, when was this gonna stop? Was there a plan or are we gonna keep going? what was the deal? And he was like, well, I feel like after, you know, once I like posted you on my thing, like it would stop. And I was like, well, that doesn't make sense because it's not like girls are DMing you. Excuse us. You're DMing girls. Yeah. You deserve better girl. I know all your girlfriends probably tell you this, but you deserve better.

Thank you. And that's kind of what I've been like thinking about. you this, but you deserve better. Thank you. And that's kind of what I've been thinking about. You know, it's like, I don't deserve. I'm the last person, I feel like I'm the last person to deserve. Yeah, girl, you have the whole package. But also it's like, I think people make mistakes. People are flawed and none of us are perfect.

And I do think this is, I don't think this is a fireball offense, right? He did, he messaged some girls and he said some flirty things and it's fucked up. And if he takes accountability for it and he continues to work on himself and he is like, here's my phone. Like if you ever wanna go through it,

I swear there's never anything in it. Like I will, I promise to you right now that this will never happen again. Then I think- I wanna do the work and let's build our trust back and really going for it. It doesn't seem like he's doing that. Not yet. Not yet.

No, and that's kind of the other thing. When we talked on the phone last night and I was like, he has a big job. I have a big intense job. But I was like, I feel like this is like overtime hour. You should be putting in overtime and you're not. That's the thing. I think that's weird. And back to my question of do you feel like his love, but like he should be the one who

gives you the answer if this is worth fighting for through his actions. And you shouldn't have to convince him of how to proceed. He should be making it so clear how desperate he is, and not even having all the answers as to how he can get back to a place where he wants to be with you. But he should make that very clear. If you are the one trying to come up with ideas of how to fix the relationship,

if you're the one who's waiting on him to figure out where he's at, if you're still confused by all of this, then I think that to Ava's point, that's a huge red flag. So it does seem unclear, as we sit right here, of really what you should do next. And it sounds like this is raw and new, but right now, he's not handling it the way we would like for you to try to make this work.

Yeah, it's like unfortunately the ball is in his court. And it's like, your future with him depends on how he continues to act. And last night on the phone, he said, he's like, well, I just don't, because I said the overtime thing. I was like, I feel like, you know, you should be doing a lot to try to keep to fix this or

keep this going. And he's like, well, I don't know what to do. Like, and I'm also normally like when I get upset about things, I like to be alone. And like, I just kind of like to have my moment until I'm like ready to talk. But like, this is not that's not how I'm feeling right now. And I said to him, like, you know, he asked, he was like, well, do you want your space? Like, do you want your space? And I was like, no, like I don't really want space right now. Like I want, this isn't the time that like, for you to check out and be like, all right, I hope she gets over this.

Yeah. I'm sorry. I just don't think most people, and especially guys, when they truly feel like they're, they fucked up and they are about to lose something they desperately and deeply do not wanna lose, they're not going like, well, aren't you sure you want your space? I just wanna give you your space. Yeah, that means he wants his space.

They're not doing that. It usually means he's fine with the space that you're giving him or wanting from them. The fact that you had to ask that question, the fact that you had to point out to him, shouldn't you be doing more? The fact you had to come up with that whole analogy about over time and relationships,

that's a huge red flag and I hate that for you. I really think you need to do nothing right now and see what he does. I agree. And he doesn't have to have all the answers, that's the thing, he doesn't have to have any answers. All he has to say is, what can I do? What I wanna do more, you're right. Like back to your original point,

like I've realized I'm sorry about the whole like putting it on you. Like yeah, I don't love that you went through my phone, but you're right, I see the bigger picture. I am, I'm embarrassed by this, I'm grossed out by it. Like yeah, that's not that hard. Like you know, we've all had moments where like, I've had times where Natalie's like,

what the fuck was that? I'm like, you know what? I'm sorry, I have nothing to say. You know, like I'm. Yeah. I'm you know. And yeah, I could give her like some small explanation. But at the end of the day, it was like, fuck. Yeah, I'm just like, I do. I'm embarrassed. Fuck off. Like, what do you know?

And I'm really sorry, you know. And, you know, this is obviously a much bigger thing, but it should it should be that at the end of the day. You know, yeah, this deserves a long apology. I mean, I'm a fan of a long apology, like over and over again, let me make it up to him, so sorry, I'm never doing this again. And that was kind of my thought process.

Like he needs to own up. I feel like you should be begging, completing, and prodding, but. But you shouldn't have to tell him that. And that you're gonna have to try to hold, that's your challenge for the next few days is to not give him the notes on how to fix this. You can't give him the playbook

of how to make you feel better. He has to come up with that on his own. And if he can't, then that is your answer. And if he does, then that's at least a green light for you to say, maybe this is worth fixing. Maybe we can get to a place. But like, your big, your answer is in how you address the next few days.

And you have to literally do nothing and then see what he does without giving him any notes or any feedback and you can't even like tell a friend to tell him, because we do that sometimes. You're like, well he just does this, and by the way he's not doing it, so can you just like tell him to fucking send me a file? And that's gonna be very difficult for you to do nothing

and see what he does because you might have to grieve again. In four days, all of a sudden you see his actions and being like, well, you know what? Honestly, I know what Nick would say. And then you're gonna be really sad about it and you might be forced to end a relationship you don't wanna end. But to Ava's point, if he's not willing to address it the way that't want to end. But you know to Ava's point you know if he's not

willing to address it the way that needs to be addressed then all this is is this a preview of your future with him. Yeah so if he like reaches out once I know tonight he's going home to his family but like he can still call you know I'm just saying okay you'll know you'll know tell have a conversation yourself. What do I need from him? And it's not answers, what you need is effort. You need to know, you need the reassurance, you need the, you know, what can I do?

You need him to fall on his sword and you need him to humble himself into whatever, whatever, what can I do? And that's just the start. Again, that's not you being like, you know what, I can I do? And that's just the start. Again, that's not you being like, you know what, I know I can forgive you because you're willing to do anything. People say all the time they're willing to do anything

and then they show you that they're not. He knows you're stressed. He knows you're stressed. And so for him to not reach out as much as you're saying he's not, He needs to if he loves you. Yeah, I think you definitely answer his calls. And then I think if he tries to continue on with like the, but you went through my phone, you can just be like,

listen, this isn't the conversation I'm having. So like call me back when you wanna have a different one. Yeah. You can hang up. That was my next question. I'm like, if the phone is brought up again, how to respond to that. Again, that's your answer. It's him not doing, he needs to show you that he's willing to take accountability, humble himself, and start the healing process. And right now he's trying to win. He's trying to win the argument so that he doesn't have to do the work and doesn't have to

apologize. So like, yeah, you can say whatever you want if he asks those questions, but he doesn't have to do the work and doesn't have to apologize. So like, yeah, you can say whatever you want if he asks those questions, but it doesn't even matter how you respond. It's just listening to his answers through his words and his actions. You can just be like, you know what? That's all I needed to hear, okay? Because that will be his answer.

And the more he does that, the more you're gonna get an unfortunate answer you don't wanna have, but it will be the clarity that you are looking for. Because the last thing you want is to work on this relationship by yourself and do all the work because you're too afraid of giving up what you thought was great but realized it wasn't and then have to break up with him 12 months from now because you finally realize he's actually not doing anything. Yeah.

So he'll give you the answer, I guess is the, you know. Yeah, I hope so. I hope so too. You'll have to give us an update. Oh, I will. I will. You have to. Good luck.

All right, so do not let him reach out. Don't follow with him. Ball is very much in his court. And you don't have to be difficult, but like think about what you wanna hear from him, what you need to hear from him, and see if he does it. All right, noted. I've been taking notes, so.

Okay. I'll remember that. Well, let us know. All right, I will. Thank you guys so much. All right, take care. All right, sorry about this. Bye, bye. Bye-bye. Thank you.

Bye. Relationships are hard, Ava. Have you ever gone through an ex's phone? No. No. Did you almost? Cause you look like you an access phone? No. Did you almost? Cause you look like you had to think about that. No, I had to think about that cause there's been a couple of access,

but I definitely know. Never. No, I don't need to, I feel like. Yeah. That's good. That is good. At least I have up till now. Yeah, we'll see going forward.

How do you, what do you, before we really go, there's one more question. How do you feel about, I know you, are you with Universal or you were with Universal? I'm with Atlantic. You were with Atlantic. How do you feel about the music industry and TikTok and what's going on?

Like a lot of music being pulled off at TikTok and a lot of artists being discovered on TikTok. Do you have any thoughts about that or advice for young artists who are relying on that app? And it's just kind of like, what's the inside or baseball with that topic? It's a tough topic for sure, because I know people are kind of split in the middle right now.

I mean, I like that new artists can get discovered from it and have no label and have no management, and it's a beautiful platform to release unreleased music and then have the fans really decide, I think that is beautiful. It's almost like just see what happens and people who never maybe would have had a chance have a chance.

And I think that's beautiful, right? But I guess the controlling aspect of it in ways where like controlling the music is not the best part for artists. But again, I always like a platform where artists who don't have any help can have the fans decide if their music, if they like their music or not.

I think that's a beautiful thing. Like SoundCloud is kind of where you, did you get a kind of SoundCloud moment and got discovered there? I love SoundCloud, yeah. It was the reason why I got discovered and signed. And I put one song on it Yeah, and and after a month I had just like a bunch of record labels wanting to sign me and and it was all because of that

One's own it's crazy how it works for some people and some people it doesn't my ex was a SoundCloud rapper Oh, I mean look whatever is written in the stars, right? But you better believe I was rapping every word before, but now I'm like, it was so bad. Do you still know his songs? I'm sure if it was played, I would be able to sing along, but.

He's going for his passion, that's the most important thing. He's doing it. Well, Ava, it was so great to talk with you. Thank you, you guys too. Congratulations on all your success. Where can my audience find you if they want to listen

to your music, follow you, consume everything that Ava Max is doing? Oh my goodness, right now I just released My Oh My, the first single off the third album. Yeah, it looks great song, love. Thank you, I'm so, so excited about it. Literally anywhere, Spotify, Apple, whatever, but I'm more excited about you guys.

Y'all just had a baby and getting married, congrats. Thank you. Thank you so much. Yeah, we're excited. Thanks for having me. Yeah, thanks for coming. Well, don't forget to send in those questions at asknicathevalfiles.com for all things texting,

office hours, make sure you follow Ava, listen to her new music, all of the above. We'll see you back on Monday. Bye. Monday bye!