The Viall Files - E746 Going Deeper with Joel McHale + Met Gala, VPR Reunion Trailer, & Lawsuit Updates

Episode Date: May 9, 2024

Welcome back to The Viall Files: Going Deeper Edition! To start things out, the household gets together to talk about recent headlines, such as the 2024 Met Gala, our thoughts on the Vanderpump Rules Season 11 Reunion Trailer, and updates on Rachel Leviss’ lawsuit against Tom and Ariana. Then, we talk to Joel McHale about working in Hollywood, comedy, parenting, cooking, dyslexia, and working on House of Villains. We also have a Texting Office Hours caller who has been dating a guy on and off for three years, and he isn’t sure if he even wants a relationship. She isn’t sure if she keeps holding on, or if she should let him go.  “I don’t want the Real Job Police to come find me.”  Start your 7 Day Free Trial of Viall Files + here: https://viallfiles.supportingcast.fm/  Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to [e-mail] to be a part of our Monday episodes. Listen To Disrespectfully now! Listen on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/disrespectfully/id1516710301 Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0J6DW1KeDX6SpoVEuQpl7z?si=c35995a56b8d4038 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCh8MqSsiGkfJcWhkan0D0w To Order Nick’s Book Go To: http://www.viallfiles.com  If you would like to get some texting advice on Office Hours send an email to [e-mail] with “Texting Office Hours” in the subject line! To advertise on the show, contact [e-mail] or visit https://www.advertisecast.com/TheViallFiles  THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: Quince - Upgrade your wardrobe. Go to https://www.Quince.com/viall for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Grammarly - Make a bigger impact at work with Grammarly. Sign up and download for FREE at https://www.grammarly.com/PODCAST  Rocket Money - Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to https://www.RocketMoney.com/VIALL  Vessi Footwear - Elevate your spontaneous activities with Vessi’s StormBurst/Weekend shoes together with our Westerly Coach Jacket. Discover more at https://www.vessi.com/VIALL Get your pair today to get an automatic 15% off your first purchase at checkout and be ready to stay cool and dry. Episode Socials: @viallfiles @nickviall @joelmchale @nnataliejjoy @ciaracrobinson @alison.vandam @dereklanerussell @leahgsilberstein @justinkaphillips  Timestamps: 00:00 - Intro 00:52 - Met Gala 10:20 - VPR Reunion Trailer 29:31 - Lawsuit Updates 41:26 - Joel McHale Interview Begins 01:01:01 - Animal Control 01:07:12 - The Roast 01:12:42 - Parenting 01:19:22 - The Wedding Industry 01:29:00 - House of Villains 01:38:59 - Life Updates 01:51:38 - Texting Office Hours 02:03:32 - Post Call Chat 02:06:25 - Outro

This episode is brought to you by DoorDash. DoorDash, your door to more. You know who came in handy over our wedding weekend? DoorDash. We were in Savannah getting married, beautiful weekend, but obviously with a baby and a lot going on with planning a wedding, there was a lot of little things we forgot, like batteries.

Also, we had a little late night party with some friends. DoorDash, some alcohol. It was amazing, you know, when you're, especially when you're in a city that you're not from, well, now I'm from a different Savannah, but you don't have all the convenience of travel and things like that. There is nothing better than having DoorDash by your side

to send out and have whatever you need basically delivered right to your door, whether it's food, whether it's snacks, whether it's batteries, whether it's alcohol, DoorDash has you covered. One of my favorite things about DoorDash is when you are leaving somewhere and you're so hungry and you're like, okay, I'm gonna order DoorDash has you covered. One of my favorite things about DoorDash is when you are leaving somewhere and you're so hungry and you're like, okay, I'm going to order DoorDash. And by time I get home, it's at the door.

Hot and ready. Hot and ready. So good. So whether you're sick at home, you need to restock alcohol for that party, or you just need some essentials that you just don't feel like going out late at night, DoorDash has you covered. DoorDash, your door to more. Download the DoorDash app now to get almost anything delivered. Must be 21 years or older to order alcohol. Drink responsibly. Alcohol available only in select markets.

You love podcasts. The stories, the laughs, the unexpected turns. But when this episode ends, the silence starts. Not anymore. Audiobooks.com turns that silence into your next great adventure. With over 450,000 titles, from bestsellers to hidden gems, your love for listening just found its new best friend. And because you already know the joy of audio, we're giving you three free audiobooks to start your journey. Imagine your favorite podcast, now with unlimited episodes. That's audiobooks.com. Keep the story going. Sign up for your free trial at audiobooks.com slash podcast free today. Because for podcast lovers like you, the end of an episode is just the beginning.

That's audiobooks.com slash podcast F R E E. What's going on everybody? Welcome back to another exciting episode of The Vilephiles Going Deeper Edition. I am your host, Nick, joined by the household. We got Scooter, Sweet Sweet Boy Justin, Sierra, Allie, and my sweet wife, and first time on the show, our daughter River, because our babysitter is sick. And she does not want to be put down. She does not want to be put down. So here we are.

If you hear a little light tap, it is me petting her booty. Welcome, River. Welcome to the show. Do you have anything you want to say, honey? Mm. Mm. Mm. Yeah.

Love that. How's everyone doing? Doing good. Did anybody watch the Met Gala last night? I saw a lot of clips and anybody watch the Met Gala last night? I saw a lot of clips and footage of the Met Gala. Did you watch? Is it?

You can watch it live. Live stream, yeah. Live stream, yeah. Is that just the red carpet or the gala itself? The gala itself is secretive. Secret, yeah. Because the only thing I know about the gala is the red carpet. You can only watch the red carpet, yeah.

Yeah, so you'll only see something from the actual gala if someone leaks a video or if there's like a blind item from someone working. Gotcha, and what is the Met, what is, what happened, what allegedly happens at the Met gala? I know that there's a dinner that happens and then performances, everybody goes into the bathroom, takes the pictures, like the group selfies in the bathroom and then this year we had Ariana Grande performing,

so that was the first time we saw clips inside the Met Gala. Yeah, for a while. The bathroom pics came about because you can't have your phone during the dinner. Yep. So that's the only time celebrities would like pull it out and be able to snap a photo. I feel like there wasn't any like viral moment that happened on like the red carpet. Like there has been in the past.

Yeah, I mean, the themes have kind of been. Like the Jack Harlow, Emma Chamberlain, from, what was it, two years ago? Like that went very viral. Last year, I feel like an interview awkward, I don't know. I feel like this year it was Kim Kardashian and the cardigan. I pulled 40 of the looks for us to like look at. So I went through like the 300 plus people.

What was the theme this year, right? There's always a theme. Sleeping Beauty's. So the Met Gala happens when they do a new exhibit and then they release the gala with the dress code at the same time. So this exhibit was Sleeping Beauty's reawakening fashion and then the dress code for the red carpet

was the Garden of Time. So that's where some celebrities will choose to dress to either one of the themes. But we can speed date some of the top ones that I pulled from it. First one is Zendaya. She had two looks. And she was one of the hosts, right? Yeah, she was one of the hosts of the gala.

Like, so she MC'd part of the gala. Oh. Yeah. I feel like she's crushed it in previous years. I don't... I love the second way more than the first. Agreed. But I don't think it's her best. Yeah. Yeah, as I sit here in Zara jeans and I'm here to critique the fashion of the Met Gala, but. Here's the Kim Kardashian one. Loved. I just wanna know where her waist is. It's snatched.

That's where it is. It's gone. It's not there. The ribs are pushed up. I mean, a lot of people were saying that they believe she like ripped the corset or like something happened so they had to cover the top or she couldn't fit into it I that was kind of like her Marilyn Monroe in the Marilyn Monroe one

They ripped so people are thinking like now they learned their lesson to just cover it up instead of force it But sir, you know what she said where she was like, it's her boyfriend's jacket That was the explanation that I supposed to be giving that like oh, I'm cold And so I put on my boyfriend's sweater and it's like the tiniest cardigan. I don't, I'm not a fan of it. I'm gonna be honest. I just, I feel like it's a beautiful dress and then you're gonna cover it up with a cardigan.

It just makes no sense to me on a night of fashion. You didn't like it? No. Okay. I just can't get over the waist. I'm just like, where is like an optical? Lana Del Rey. Lana Del Rey is like my dream guest for this show.

Which by the way, to add to our honeymoon of horrors, on the way back, we were looking at pictures from Stagecoach, and it turns out that Lana Del Rey showed up at the Patron Al Oto party that we were at at Coachella and took a picture with a bunch of bachelor people. Also, I was on Lana Del Rey's Instagram. You know who she follows?

Who? Peter Weber. Oh, did you ask Peter about it? I did not know. You gotta ask him. I do, yeah. Can we ask him? Sure.

She does follow a lot of random people too. She follows one of my friends. That's incredible. Who is just a college student. He doesn't know why? Well, I think she met her somewhere, but Lana just does what she wants to do. That's iconic. Yeah.

I have a fun fact. Olivia Rodrigo used to follow my dog on Instagram. Did she unfollow your dog? She unfollowed everyone. She doesn't follow anybody anymore. But yeah, she followed my dog for a while. And then I would get... Why did your dog have a following? I just, cause she's a really cute little bulldog. And I made her an Instagram during COVID, cause I was bored and Danny worked with her once

and then she followed my dog on Instagram. And then I would get the craziest DMs on that account. Like, how do you know Olivia? What, how can you like introduce me? I'm like, this is a dog's Instagram account. I'm like, you're not gonna get anywhere. Well, Lana looks good. She was giving antlers. Yeah. That's cute. And how does this work? She's giving anywhere. Well, Lana looks good. She was giving antlers.

That's cute. And how does this work with the food? She's giving garden. Garden. She's a critter in the garden. Ethereal. Oh my god. Yeah.

Okay. She's a critter in the garden. Handsome? Can't do no wrong. He's in a Tom Ford suit. Is that a Tom Ford? It is. It's a basic Tom Ford, but it's a Tom Ford.

What is a basic Tom Ford? Like he went to the Met Gala looking like this. Yeah, it's not giving. Yeah, it's very, he played it very safe. Are the men supposed to be giving? Absolutely. They should. They're lazy usually. I saw Seth Meyers give his interview with La La and she was like, what is your interpretation? And he was like, listen every Met I wear a tuxedo, a boring tuxedo. Yeah. And I was like, well, okay. You know how it's been. Boring. Cardi B. Yeah, this is incredible. Love that.

I saw a video of this. I saw a video of them. The 20 people. Like, yeah, like spreading out her dress. This is an iconic. It's a moment. That's great. Did she say that this dress weighed more than she does?

Oh, I'm sure. I'm sure. It's gotta be heavy. The amount of tulle. How much fabric? So much. Tyler. I loved Tyler.

I thought it was so, I've never seen anything like it. And I like when people do original things and she's what sand? She's sand. Which is smart because it's like garden of time. She has an hourglass. I do want to just show you all the video though of Tyler trying to walk up the stairs. She didn't have to walk. Love.

And why did they have to do this? Because she can't walk. It was fitted to her so she couldn't move her legs. Yeah, so it's a video of two men carrying her up the stairs. Does she have an outfit change or was this a little- Most people change when they enter into the dinner party. So for her they cut the bottom off. So it made it into like a short dress.

Cute. Gotcha. Yeah, it looks stunning. Andy Cohen. I love that he went with SJP. I feel like he does often. Yeah. Yeah, I think they're besties, right?

Yeah. Yeah. Matthew Broderick just hanging home. Do you have Nicole Kidman's on this list? You remember Nicole Kidman's? Yeah, what? It's an original Balenciaga remake. Hers is like, it's a... Two dresses?

You'll see. Katy Perry. Oh my God, Katy Perry. I love that. It's giving AI. Well, also here's the thing. Yeah. Is it AI? So Katy Perry posted these. God, Katy Perry. I love that. It's giving AI. Well, so here's the thing. Yeah.

So Katy Perry posted these. She usually goes to the Met Gala. She looks better than a lot of the people there. I would agree. She posted them. Even her mom commented being like, oh my God, I didn't know you went to the Met Gala. Fake.

It is AI. It is AI. It is AI. But people like were reposting it thinking like she was there. This is her outfits. It's confirmed AI, right, Justin? Yeah, it's AI.

Confirmed. She confirmed herself, yeah. Wow. Okay, scary. This is her outfits. It's confirmed AI, right, Justin? Yeah, it's AI. Confirmed. She confirmed it herself. Wow. Okay. Scary. She looks good. She looks good. AI Katy Perry.

Stunning. Here you go. Nicole Kidman. It's giving full frontal bush. Oh my God. I saw the AI one. Oh my God. Not what I thought he was gonna say.

Me either. Wait, so this is what you were thinking the whole time? Well, I saw it on the internet. The internet called out the full frontal bush and then it was all I could see. I mean now- This isn't even in the best angle of what the internet saw. Well thanks Nick, now it's all I can see.

I liked it because it was Nicole Kidman, but it's basic. I liked it because it was a remake of the original. I mean Nicole Kidman, the ageless one, I mean she is stunning. Yeah. She looks like a real life AI. Barry Cogan and Sabrina Carpenter. I feel like some people just straight up ignore the theme. Well, to them they were like Alice in Wonderland.

That was their take. Yeah, well again, it's very interpretive. I also feel like it's hard for men to kind of go along with the theme without doing the most, and then when they do the most, people are like, it's too much. So I'm kind of like, because I like that's hard for men to kind of go along with the theme without doing the most and then when they do the most people are like it's too much. So I'm kind of like, because I like that Barry like went for it. I'm like I don't know what we were going for but... It's not a basic tuxedo. Not at all. It's giving fairy tale.

I think they're on there. Which like the Sleeping Beauty, yeah like I'm here for it. Here's your Doja. I didn't understand. I think it makes sense. It's fine. So like, she's dressing like a sculpture from a garden. And a lot of sculptural like art pieces have like the wet cloth look. Okay, love.

Therefore she's doing like the whole wet cloth thing. Okay, love. What was up with the towel? Her reasoning was a white t-shirt is timeless. But when was she wearing a towel? So you just made this like actual... I did. And then I saw her explanation. I was like, okay, that's just me. Your explanation makes sense.

Nick, this was her pre-office So she wore a towel towel walking out of like her hotel and before that she went to buy jewelry from like a drawer Wearing a bed sheet and she was wearing a bed sheet and there's a video of the bed sheet like falling and She's yet. There's nothing under there. She's wearing a thong. She doesn't care I love this reminds me of Kanye when he covered his face and he's like, or Kim and Kanye did it. And they were like, were Kim and Kanye they know without my face? It wasn't Kanye. Who was it?

It wasn't. It was the designer she went with. And then Demi Moore's the last one I had on here, but I think she dressed on theme. That's pretty good. She's an icon. Yeah. All right. Next year, Nick will be there with Natalie.

Someday. Yes, of course. Yeah, what would you guys wear? Oh my god. That's the wrote depends on the name is no No, you would know no you would step out. I probably not I would make you okay You would step up if we were going together if you were going alone, then I guess you do whatever you definitely like just wear whatever you Suggested I wear but I wouldn't want to outshine you, babe. Thank you. You know. Thank you. What's River wearing?

Oh, is she coming? Are kids allowed? Probably not, yeah. Okay. We have the Vanderpump reunion. The sneak peek came out. And it looks crazy. I haven't seen it yet.

Let's watch it. Wow. Three parter again. Looks very good. I'm in. I love it. I'm excited. What do we feel like they watched

that made them get so emotional? Well, we know they watched the season finale together. Yeah. I love it. I'm excited. What do we feel like they watched that made them get so emotional? Well, we know they watched the season finale together. Yeah. That's confirmed. But there seems to be like a moment that they- They watched the whole thing or part of it? It's triggering. Well, it sounds like they watched all seven, some final episodes in their hotel rooms

before they got to set. And then I'm guessing they didn't watch the entire episode, you know? Sitting down, I'm guessing they didn't watch the entire episode, you know? Sitting down, I'm guessing it was the end. It sounded like, and even Andy said, I want this last moment. Yeah, and we know that Ariana hadn't watched all of the episodes because she was busy with,

you know, Chicago and. I'm excited to watch, yeah. I love a three-parter. Do you though? I do. Three parts usually means that there's good stuff happening I know you're thinking of like Salt Lake City their last three-parter was not This is always seems like the good stuff You have to wait to the very end and like the first episode will be not with a good reunion though

And I was like not Vander pump. I feel like Vander pump three-part reunion So there's always like something that happens in each thing where I'm like the second one's always gonna be like not the greatest but then they're like here's the cliffhanger for next week and then it's like boom boom boom boom boom all through the third episode so that's what I'm excited about. Well it was an Andy Cohen who said that it wasn't very yelly it was a very calm reunion. Well probably compared to last reunion where they're just all screaming at each other. When it looks pretty calm but like teary like they last reunion where they're just all screaming at each other. When it looks pretty calm, but like teary.

Like they're not screaming, they're all just crying. Just sad. Yeah, sad. Well, what's interesting that they showed like Ariana crying, saying, I just want you gone, very understandable feeling for Ariana. But at the same time, what's fascinating about that is like, this is an ensemble cast of a TV show. And what Ariana is wishing

deeply with tears running down her cheek is to not be on the show or the show to pick one or the other, you know Sandoval versus Ariana, which is kind of a this kind of a fascinating thing and it's also kind of giving not over it There is that you know, like at some point and which would would be understandable. It would be understandable that seeing someone like Tom, it's just what makes me sad for Ariana is that she is in fact in a relationship and she's been in one for a while now, you know? And you know, when we first started covering this season, a lot of defense to Ariana was,

well, you know, they just started filming, we're talking a couple months post-show, you know, so it's still raw. They filmed the reunion, what, month and a half ago-ish, give or take? It was like St. Patrick's Day. Okay, yeah. So that's a lot different than last summer, you know,

where we're saying, well, you know, Ariana, it's still been, it's only a couple months post-Scandival, it's still raw, yada, yada, yada. She's giving just as triggered as earlier in the season. I mean, at this point, you know, don't you, to just say, I just want you out of my life, I just want you gone. It's-

Well, maybe he said something that triggered it. But like the sight of Tom Sandoval seems to be, again, that's just the impression they're giving. We haven't watched it, we don't know. But it's very much giving the sight and the presence of Tom Sandoval despite their living situation is just too much for her. She could be talking about Rachel maybe.

And like, cause I, did the lawsuit come out before this reunion was shot? Like maybe she's just talking about, I don't think Rachel's at the reunion. No, but like she was specifically saying there, I just want you gone. I just want you out of my life. Well, I agree with Natalie too.

I'm like, I think if she hasn't watched the last seven episodes of the show before filming the reunion, they're obviously gonna be playing back clips and asking like, how do you feel about that? Where I'm like, there's a lot of hurtful things that were said in confessionals that she has no idea about either.

And then you have Tom Sandoval running around saying that Ariana doesn't do this, doesn't pick up after herself, all this stuff that I'm like, I don't know. I feel like maybe if there's like a reel of comments said by Sandoval or whatnot, that that could just like reopen the wound maybe so but We'll see. Yeah, I wonder if Lisa Vanderpump saying sometimes It's okay to walk away is her talking to ariana because I was a line that was in the trailer Yeah, about the show the show. Yeah, so it's like maybe she's saying like well

Like if you need to make a boundary sometimes that boundary is walking yourself out Well, I mean that's kind of my point. That's kind of what they're getting to, where it's just like either Ariana is gonna have to get to the point where she's like, you know what, I was really sad. It was heartbreaking. I thought Tom was my future, but I accepted that he's not.

And despite all my hopes and dreams with Tom Sandoval that I realized that like as hard as this situation was, it brought in so many wonderful things. Ariana doesn't have to get over this. But at some point, I think we all hope for Ariana, is that she gets over it. That she not only isn't triggered by it anymore, that she sees that she actually is happy that this happened in a way,

that her, she just got renewed on Chicago, she is hosting Love Island, and that doesn't mean, just because she's gotten these things doesn't say, oh well, you need to be grateful and not upset, but you hope that everyone who leaves a relationship eventually finds peace and moves on. It's a sad reality to think that like,

no one ever got over a breakup. That's sad. Yeah. I just, I would, I feel sad for Ariana. So it's just like, is she gonna eventually let go of the hate that she has? She doesn't have to, it's her choice. Yeah.

I mean, I have like exes that I know where they hang out, they're five minutes away, like living wise, and I'm like, I just don't go to those bars. It's not cause I wish them ill. It's just like, I have no desire to run into you or like be around you. So I couldn't imagine my job being like,

I'm forced to be around my ex that I would choose not to be around. No, I get it. But eventually, you know, but if you ran into them now, I'm guessing you. Hi, so good to be around. No, I get it, but eventually, you know, but if you ran into them now, I'm guessing you... Ah, it's so good to see you. Couldn't get out of this conversation faster. Yeah, but that's different than being triggered.

No, I know. I'm just saying to where I'm like, if somebody hasn't had the closure or the move on time, because it's like your ex is constantly being pushed in your face, where I'm like, I've had years since I've seen my exes that I'm like, I'm sure if I saw you I'd be fine, but I'm also not gonna be going on a camping trip

with you next week, like I'm not gonna be forced to be around you longer than I need to. Well no one's forcing Ariana to do anything. No one's forcing her to live with, it's a choice. She has the right to have that choice. She has the right to stay there, she has the right to, it's her house, she has the right to be on the show, she has the right to do any of these,

but no one's making her, and there's a difference between her having the option and her being literally forced. She is forced with- She's forced to film with them. No, she is forced to make tough decisions, and life is full of tough decisions, life's not fair. You know, and so- You don't think that she-

If she wants to be on the show, she doesn't have to be on the show, I mean, I'm just saying. I think there's a contract, I don't think that she... If she wants to be on the show, she doesn't have to be on the show. I mean, I'm just saying. I think there's a contract. I don't think she's just like a handshake of do you wanna be on the show? You can quit tomorrow if you want. Every season is a new contract. She is not obligated to be on season 11.

And I'm glad she was. I'm grateful that she was. And I'm not saying it's even fair, but she wasn't forced. Right, but Tom made the decisions to mess up everything, so it's like, why does she have to be the one that leaves the show, leave the house, to do all of this stuff to make him comfortable,

or to be okay on her own when I'm like, he's the one that did everything, and he's not willing to leave the house, he's not willing to leave the show. I'll tell you why, because it would be her choosing to prioritize her happiness and mental health over Vanderpump. Again, I'm not saying it's fair,

but I'm just saying she has the choice. Which fair, but talking. And she has other options. I don't think producers gave her the, okay, we're gonna do a beach scene with Tom, you're gonna go on a trip to San Francisco with Tom, I don't think all of this stuff was laid out, I think if it was laid out,

she probably wouldn't have signed on. I almost feel like this is the least Tom could have done after what he did to her. The least he could have done is even ask her, like, would you be comfortable if I was on the show? Because if you're not, I won't do it. Sure, but that Tom Sandoval was... That would have been the nice thing to do.

Of course, but Tom Sandoval was never going to do that. It's a hazard of working with your partner. It just sucks, yeah. Because also that would be her asking him to forfeit his job. No, but that's just what sucks about, but should she have to forfeit hers? Exactly, I agree, nobody should,

but it's like a hazard of working. I'm not saying what should happen, or you know, I'm simply just pointing out that no one made Ariana do anything, and she has options and she has choices And she chose to be on and I'm not saying it's fair her living situation wasn't fair But she's you know Like life does happen and sometimes you do have to respond and and and life has responded in kind to Ariana

I'm just saying she wasn't forced. I mean, you're kind of saying what I'm assuming is what Lisa was addressing her, like sometimes it's okay to walk away. Quote two is that maybe that's addressed to Ariana, that sometimes if you needed to create that boundary, you have to walk away. I just think it's easier said than done, because if you put yourself-

I'm not saying it's easy. No, no, I'm just saying like- I'm literally saying it's hard. If you take yourself out of this situation, and let's say you're in just a regular finance office job, and you work at the same company as your husband, there's this cheating scandal that goes on, why is it the person who gets cheated on

and the person who's wronged in the situation then have to leave and go find another job, another stream of income. Again, they don't have to. They don't have to, but like they work in the cubicle next to their ex who wronged them. But let's say if we're using the same analogy, I don't know what the actual analogy would be,

but like Ariana has financially benefited from this, so it's not like, oh, well, it's either have a job or don't have a job. She has multiple jobs now. Just pointing it out. And again, I don't think she should have to quit. I am just saying Ariana does have the option to prioritize her happiness and mental health.

It might have, it comes with a cost, for sure. Everything comes with a cost. I'm just saying, sometimes being an adult is facing tough choices. And Ariana's tough choice still has its pennies, you know, and has its benefits. And that is a reality of the situation. And I hope for Ariana that at some point she,

if in fact she can't get over this, if she can't work with Sandoval without being triggered, then I wish for her to have happiness. Is it fair? No. Like yeah, the fair thing would be to kick Tom Sandoval off and let Ariana stay, but this is a TV show that we love drama. Ariana is not that dramatic.

She's always kind of under the radar. She's one of the least problematic people on the show. And even as viewers, we want the drama. And Ariana doesn't want to be part of that drama, which I totally understand. And I'm just saying, you know, so, like the idea that I'm saying Ariana was always wronged. Like in any situation, she was the one who was wronged. You know what I'm saying Ariana was always wronged, like in any situation she was the one who was wronged.

You know what I'm saying? So, but that can't be the answer and argument to, you know, everything regarding, you know, let's like, well, who is wrong? Ariana, you know, so let's give her all the benefits. There's other variables at play, you know? And do you really expect the producers to give a shit? You know, do you expect the producers to be like,

oh well, make sure Ariana gets what she... Yeah, I guess that's true, because then like, they never did that in the past, you know, when Jax cheated on Britney, when Kristen cheated, you know, like they never removed the person, they still made them all continue to work together and we all loved it and ate it up. Yeah.

Well, that's also what's interesting too, is that this season they really tried to like emphasize like Tom Sandoval's mental health, but like he was the one that did make the decisions, but Ariana didn't get the same treatment at all. I'm like, it's very much like that focused on Sandoval being back integrated into this group and rehabilitating after the decisions that he made.

But then it's like, everyone's going on Ariana being like, you need to be over this or like move on. But I'm like, she's the one that it all happened to. And yet we don't care about her mental health. We're not like stopping the show being like, hey, did anybody check on Ariana recently? But it's because she's got shows or got opportunities or whatnot. But that doesn't mean that it doesn't still affect your day to day, your mental health, and being around somebody that screwed you over. I don't know. I just like... She has a choice to leave. Yeah. Yeah. Again, I think it's just interesting that it's like her hand is the one that's being forced. That either you give up your job that you've been doing for a while. If she wanted to leave, she would have.

But we have to recognize that the job we're talking about is a job that has, to Natalie's point, rewarded terrible behavior, promotes terrible behavior, incentivizes terrible behavior. The show is based off of this. So for us to act like that's not the case and then to suggest that Vanderpump, the show itself, and the franchise, a show that was saved by the very scandal that we're talking about, that we're supposed to what? Like, fire everyone who wronged Ariana because she was wrong for the sake of it being,

it's just, that's kind of silly and unrealistic. What do you think? I'm not saying that anybody should be fired or that it should be this or that. I'm just saying that I'm like, in the time period that everything happened, to expect one person to either want to film with this person or expecting that the other person would quit

based off of Ariana's needs. I mean, it's both unrealistic, but I'm just saying that's kind of like where we're at right now. Yeah, and I guess what I'm saying in the show is this more like, I don't think the show is expecting anyone to quit. They don't want people to quit.

They're just like, we're working. Show up if you wanna show up. This is the job. And they want more beach fights. They want more of that interaction. And I guess my point is at the end of the day, Ariana showed up and she had options not to. And she could have, I don't know her finances,

but it appears as though for the first time in a while, because she mentioned that she was struggling with money, that she now can afford to not need Vanderpump. And yet she still showed up. And eventually the audience, I mean, I'm actually shocked, I think the producers are shocked by the amount of vitriol still towards Tom Sandoval. I think they absolutely planned and hoped

that Tom would have some sort of redemption. I think Ariana even felt like maybe people are gonna turn on me. And it's amazing, like every week, Sandoval on Twitter is trending because the vitriol is still so strong against him. But eventually that shit does wear out and it might have lasted much longer than we anticipated,

but eventually people are just gonna kinda be like, either get over it or don't get over it, but like we're done feeling sorry for you. Whether that's right or fair or not, that is the reality. And I do think that that's a good reason as to why they paused this season, because it's just like we can't go through another season still referencing Scandival.

Like hopefully in that time period, there's enough stuff that's gone on in your lives that we can start over or talk about something else or recast to the valley, whatever they're planning on doing. But like, yeah, the show can't continue on the same path that it's on right now because we're tired. Yeah.

Speaking of fire, do we think Kyle Richards is going to return to Beverly Hills? I know there's rumors that, if she doesn't open up about Morgan Wade. Hey, wasn't there another rumor about Dorit, about acknowledging that her and PK? Yeah. Yep. I mean, these are all- They can't fire everyone.

There's also a rumor that LVP might be actually coming back. What? Yeah. A lot of rumors. There's a lot of rumors flying around right now, but I think Kyle will absolutely come back to the show. Andy said on Watch What Happens Lives, well I think Kyle is always invited back to Beverly Hills and I think that the supposition is that she opens up about her life. That being said, Kyle said on Amazon Live that I don't even know what I'm doing yet guys so that can't be true. The rumor. So I mean, she's probably going to come back to some capacity.

When she says she doesn't, she doesn't know if she's coming back. Yeah. Cause on Amazon live, someone asks, like, have you heard the rumors? The rumors being what again? That you can't come back unless you talk about the truth with your relationship. Yeah. I guess what Kyle's saying doesn't make sense. It doesn't discount the rumor.

You know, she could say, Oh, well, I haven't decided if I'm coming back. That has nothing to do with what the producers said or didn't say to her. It smells like a lot of like, they can't fire me because I might quit. It's like, well, no, they could still fire if you decide not to quit. And you can quit and they could be like,

well, we weren't gonna have you back anyways because you knew you weren't gonna talk about it. It's semantics. I mean, to like the LVP rumor, I think they have to either keep her or hire a new OG or like bring back a new OG. Cause like Kyle has sustained so long because she's been on the show since the beginning.

Yeah, cause who, I mean, Anne Marie's gone. Crystal's gone. Crystal's gone. So who, and if Dorit doesn't come back, who's their lineup? Who is it? Who do they have signed up so far. And it's just Garcell, Garcell, Sutton.

So it's just Garcell and Sutton. I would watch it. I think Kyle will absolutely come back. I heard the rumors flying around with LVP is that. Kathy and Tam are rumored to come back. But it's that LVP won't film with Kyle or the other way around. So we'll see what happens there, but they're trying to say that that might be a lead into the new version of a new LVP show.

So I don't know. Ooh, Justin, who would you rather they take, LVP or Kyle? Like if they won't film with each other? I have a hot take that I, the LVP that I know is the season that Denise joined and LVP refused to come to the reunion and like fake a lie detector test because of a dog. And I suspect that she did-

That was the worst season. I suspect that she did leak news to Radar Online. Like I prescribed to that like theory and that's why she left. So like in my eyes, I don't like LVP. Like I would choose anybody but LVP, which is a hot take, but- I don't know if it's so hot.

Yeah. She also has so much going on. She has her new Vanderpump Villa show. She has Vanderpump. The Valley. She is. Well, she is. She's a producer on the Valley. Lisa is a producer on the Valley.

Yeah, I looked it up. Interesting bit of information. As she should be though, cause I'm like Ryan Seacrest is still a producer of the Kardashians. I don't know like how involved he is. Oh yeah. Yeah, she's like, I brought you these people.

Yeah. Like I feel like Ryan's like, I birth the Kardashians. I have like a check coming for the rest of my life. She's an executive producer. Right, okay, executive producers, yeah. Interesting, wow. Yeah. What's the latest on the Rachel lawsuit,

speaking of Tom and Ariana? Are they coming together to fight fire with fire? I don't know about coming together, but they individually filed their own approaches. Response. Response, response. Yeah. So Ariana filed a declaration citing California's anti-SLAPP law, which protects against frivolous lawsuits versus Sandoval is requesting that the court grant his motion against Levis to entirely strike it.

But in the lawsuit Ariana finally addresses whether she sent it to someone or how she recorded it or what. She says, To be clear, I only saw the video of Plaintiff masturbating in places secluded from others. I hurriedly took out my own phone and made two recordings of the FaceTime video. Then Sandoval forcibly grabbed my phone from my hands and deleted the videos from her phone. However, before he deleted the videos, Maddox shared them with Levis with the text, reading, your debt to me. So we at least have like that confirmed that she. So she acknowledged as he sent it back to Rachel.

Yes. And then said Tom deleted them. She pulled her phone out, recorded it from Tom's phone, sent it to Raquel and then Rachel, and now it's deleted is what Ariana's claimed. So Tom went to her camera roll and deleted it, and then also went to recently deleted camera roll and deleted it. And then text messages.

But in the screenshots of the text messages, you just see Ariana, the screenshot shows Ariana texted Rachel, you're dead to me, but there's no video attached. So she's claiming that Tom deleted it from her phone as well. Oh, he deleted it from the text. So she didn't even send it back to Rachel.

No, she did, and then Tom deleted the recently deleted the photo and then also the text. And the screenshot doesn't have the videos in it because they gave that to Bravo. They showed the, you're dead to me on the finale of season 10. So that's why the videos were probably deleted from the text message.

Well, and this is one of the things, like, they can prove all this. I'm assuming Ariana has lawyers that says, hey listen, what'd you do, don't lie, because like, this is something they could easily prove. Well yeah, Rachel's lawyers have said like, we have irrefutable evidence. Is his side saying he didn't record it

without her knowledge? So they're insinuating that the videos were consensually sent, taken and sent to Sandoval. I also saw that they're refuting the eavesdropping claim because in the state of California, it's illegal to record audio against somebody's will, but there's nothing about, I guess, the visual. And when you screen record a FaceTime,

it doesn't pull audio. So I'm like- Sure, but that seems more of a loophole-y than- That's what I'm saying. It is a loophole, but they are using that as an argument. But in the- But that also goes back to like it being a FaceTime. I'm just like, this isn't like they put up a camera

in their room and they're there together and they're like, we're going to have a little play. Like you're going to be this person. To be clear, if Rachel did in fact, if they were FaceTiming and Rachel performed a sexual act and Tom recorded it without her knowledge, that would be wrong. I don't know if it's actionable in court,

I don't know the legality of it, but morally that would be fucked up. And I think we're all trying to figure out when talking about this case, did Tommen do the fucked up thing or is Rachel lying about it? Because Rachel has proven to be a liar. As far as the Ariana thing goes,

there doesn't seem like Rachel even has any proof. She just has suspicions and conjecture and assumptions about where this video went, and she is going after Ariana based off of these assumptions. Yeah, so it looks like that Ariana's lawyers acknowledge that, like with the anti-SLAPP law that they're saying it's exploiting the intentions of this law, like revenge porn.

So that's where it's like, they know that she sent, she recorded the video for herself, but to that point, like Raquel doesn't know that it's been sent to anybody else. That's what's- Do we know what Rachel slash Raquel is what she's trying to get? Cause this is a, this is money. There's no like, no one's going to jail or anything.

It's not a criminal thing. This is not a criminal thing, this is a civil thing. Do we know how much she's trying to get from these two? When I was researching the case though, there was something along the lines of missed opportunities, which I think she being a public figure could bring to court of I missed out on brand deals, which could have been this, I could have done.

So there's a lot more of what she could have had had this not happened. I mean, Sandoval's team is saying it's for media attention as part of it, so. I believe that. I mean, I don't believe Rachel. She hasn't proven to be a person of her word, even her actions following the show,

seeing someone who at best just takes bad advice from the wrong people. And at worst, seems to be someone who says one thing and does another. And still, Rachel seems more focused on how she can victimize herself Rather than take accountability for how she's victimized others The big question for me is did Tom record it without her knowledge from a moral standpoint? Because is he denying that that's kind of what's confusing too

It's like they're kind of making it sound like she recorded something and sent it to him then it's the FaceTime recording So I'm like, what is it didn't Ariana say she didn't send it to anyone, then it's the FaceTime recording, so I'm like, what is it? Didn't Ariana say she didn't send it to anyone, but now she's saying, she said I only saw the video. Well, anyone and back to Rachel are two very different things. If I got accused of revenge porn, and if I got accused of sending a video of someone to all my friends, I would've been like, I didn't send it to anyone.

Like, I wouldn't be like, oh, well, I sent it back to that person after finding out they were cheating on me, you know what I'm saying? So I completely get where Ariana's coming from here. And I think it's really gross that Rachel's going after Ariana at all. Because you sent it to me. That's what I'm saying.

I'm like, if this was like a malicious act or something like that, then we would have seen the video. Yeah. But I guess I can see where Rachel does feel uneasy in the fact that Ariana did send it to her so she knows Ariana had possession of it and she was extremely mad at her. So I can see where she would be like, I'm uneasy about this. No, I could see why she's uneasy about it, but there's an answer from being

uneasy and like going to court and making a public spectacle. Yeah, but I can see where she would be like, I don't believe that you didn't send it to anyone else because you sent it to me, you had possession of it, you hated me, why wouldn't you fucking send it to your friends, why wouldn't you? But we haven't seen it anywhere. But the time period, exactly, that I was like,

if she wanted to ruin her life or put that out there or have a friend drop it or whatever, it would have been out there by now. But I also thought it was interesting too, when I was researching the case and all the different claims that they're like, bringing them to court over, there's one that's like, you can either be like malicious intent or a blatant disregard for how this person is going to be affected by it. So truly Ariana doesn't even have to have like malicious intent in sending it her not even thinking twice about how it could affect Rachel also qualified for that claim.

So I'm like, there's all these little loopholes that even if Ariana just shot it off and didn't think, her not thinking about it could condemn her. Sure. But I don't care about the loopholes or the legal aspect of it. I don't care what a lawyer's ability to win or lose a know that might come down to a good lawyer or a bad lawyer. I'm more you know when we cover it and we talk about it in this show it's more like who is in the right and who's in the wrong you know from a well I guess just our opinion or the audience's opinion and yeah maybe I don't know I'm not a lawyer when it

comes to this stuff maybe Rachel Rachel could win I don't know I just think it would be extra gross you know and I I'm not seeing lawyer when it comes to this stuff. Maybe Rachel, Rachel could win, I don't know. I just think it would be extra gross, you know? And I'm not seeing the validity towards, or her justification. And even to your point, like, yeah, I could see her being worried that maybe she doesn't believe Ariana. I believe that.

I believe that Rachel doesn't believe Ariana. But does that justify suing her? Yeah, you know? I don't think so. So I will say, Sandoval's motion counter alleges that these videos were created by Levis and published by Levis to Sandoval via a consensual exchange on FaceTime, i.e. their video calls. It continues saying based on Levis's own allegations, Sandoval merely saved

private copies of the videos that Levis had filmed and shared with him. Anyways, I think Rachel sucks. Can I pay someone a decent amount of money for Nick to be like a key witness in this case, just to go up to the stand and go, I think Rachel sucks. Can I pay someone a decent amount of money for Nick to be like a key witness in this case, just to go up to the stand and go, I think she sucks. How do we get Nick on the jury? Is this a jury, or is this like a judge decides on this? A judge, it's probably like just them and their lawyers.

I don't know, but I just got a jury summons and I think I'm gonna actually go this time because what if? There you go. But you should go, that's your civic duty. I think you have to. Yeah, I mean, that's true. I'm gonna get a warrant soon.

Oh, boy. All right. Does that cover it? Yeah. All right, well, we have a great episode. The legendary Joel McHale is with us. We are excited to have Joel on this show and more excited for you guys to listen to our conversation.

But before we do, don't forget to send in those questions at Ask Nick at thevalveholls.com for all things Ask Nick, texting office, hour mediation. You know the drill. The weather is getting warmer. We're packing away our jackets and our sweaters for shorts and tees. I used to waste so much money on clothes that would only last one season on fast fashion.

I didn't invest in any of my pieces, but now I am with quints. I've got high quality pieces that never go out of style and that I'll be wearing year after year. I got Nick the 100% European linen shirt for our honeymoon that we did not go on but he will be wearing it over and over and over again because it's such good quality it's so cute it goes with anything it's great for summer it's also $30. They also have performance polos and versatile flow knit activewear which is

great for getting ready for summer. It's really incredible what you can find at Quinn's. The variety is unmatched, and what's great about it is you don't have to break the bank. I mean, it's like shopping at a million department stores, all at a one-stop shop. You don't even have to get out of your pajamas to get a bunch of different items from Quinn's. All Quinn's' items are priced 50 to 80% less

than similar brands, and they partner with top factories. So Quince cuts out the cost of the middleman and passes the saving on to us. To upgrade your wardrobe, go to quince.com slash V-I-A-L-L for free shipping on your order in 365 day returns. That's quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash V-I-A-L-L to get free shipping in 365 day returns. Quince dotcom slash viall

There's this common misconception out there that if you have a lot of typos in your email that you are not an intelligent person and as someone who is not good at proofreading has a bit of dyslexia that I struggle with and it's almost impossible for me to not have some sort of typo I'm a bad speller but I don't think I'm a bit of a dumb dumb, but listen, you don't want to send the wrong message to people, well, fear not, just get Grammarly for you and your team to make sure that you are saving time and coming across more professional with better tone.

96% of Grammarly users report that Grammarly helps them craft more impactful writing. Grammarly works across 500,000 apps and websites by understanding your writing and context. Grammarly provides relevant, personalized suggestions. Their tone suggestions help you navigate even the most difficult work conversations. We always say, like, listen,

people read messages in their tone, not yours. So making sure that when you have an important message to get across, let Grammarly help you make sure that your tone is what it should be. Grammarly is the gold standard of responsible AI with 14 years of experience in just about every IT certification under the sun. Grammarly is a secure AI writing partner

that helps your team make their point and move faster. We are Grammarly shop here at the Vilephiles to make sure that our emails and communication are at the top of their game. And you should do the same for you and your team as well. Make a bigger impact at work with Grammarly. Sign up and download for free at Grammarly.com slash podcast.

That's G-R-A-M-M-A-R-L-Y.com slash podcast. Easier said, done. Joel, welcome. Thank you for having me on your show. Yeah, very excited. This is very professionally run. Thank you. Already, and we haven't even done it.

When I started my podcast, you were one of my like dream guests. Wow. Yeah. Already, and we haven't even done it. When I started my podcast, you were one of my dream guests. Wow, yeah. Dreams, that's a low. We have since gotten bigger, and you stopped being, but when I started the show, you were definitely there. Did you ask me back then?

I DM'd you probably. Did I respond? No. Oh my God. I'm not great at that. I didn't expect you to be. Yeah, my getting back on emails is rough. That's okay.

Yeah. My own wife was like, maybe she checked the calendar. And I'm like, well, maybe. I can't guarantee it. I don't know what's going to happen when I walk out of this room. It sounds a lot like me. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Do y'all have like one of those calendars in the kitchen that where she like writes everything on it? Like doctor's appointment, soccer game, theater practice? No. I it, like doctor's appointment, soccer game. No. Theater practice, no. No, I do have a doctor's appointment soccer game coming up though. Oh my God.

It's simultaneous. I hope you make it. No, it's all on that iCal and it's all there. And just yesterday, my wife was at the old, we have the same, I don't know, general practitioner. And she was like, yeah, your husband texted me three times to remind himself of his doctor's appointment. And he's like, you might have some ADHD, we'll see.

And I know. What'd you text like, hey, I'm coming? Yeah, but I was like, is it next Tuesday? But I don't even recall. I was like, I don't think I did that. And then my doctor texted to mock me and we like, you did. And you saw the text above. I was like, oh, there they are.

Yeah, that's right. I need a general practitioner. Do you not have one? Nick has not been to a doctor in 10 years. I mean, I've had blood work done. For what? For like a whole just body scan. Who did the blood work a doctor practitioner yeah wait you haven't seen a doctor but you've had a body scan

well it wasn't like a body but a blood work you know a blood work but did you they came to our house and drew his blood and then they left our house and they said it's fine it's working is red. It's keeping you alive. No one stuck their finger up my butt, but like, you know. Does that happen at the threshold? You probably need a rectal exam at some point. No, that's 40, right? Well, I'm there.

Well, now you got time. I thought you were older. You need your colonoscopy. Just kidding. Yeah, I avoided having a full-on physical till about 45. Okay, so I have two more years. Yep. You're fine. I can give you the name of our doctor. She's great. Amazing. She's in Pasadena if that's alright. That's fine. Great it's not like

you have a child now where you know your health is pretty integral to yeah upbringing of your child. There's definitely been a lot of conversations between Natalie and I that now that we're married and have a kid we have to be more adult. Yeah, yeah. No more cocaine nights. No more no methamphetamine. No more crashing cars. Racing none of that. Yeah, when did you stop doing all that? Well, I started doing it again once they became teenagers To show they join with you or is it just strictly parents? Yeah, they fucking better Do they join with you or is it just strictly parents? Yeah, they fucking better. It's expected.

Respect it. Yeah, it's great. Now they're everything I've ever wanted. Covered in tattoos, piercings. Like a marble red. Yep, yeah, I got them smoking. Got them riding motorcycles without helmets, it's great. Oh my God, they wanna date our daughter?

Oh my God. I know we love an age gap, but like not yet. Jesus Christ. They just sound cool. They're really cool. I let them rename themselves. Do you have boys or girls? Two boys, a 19 and a 16.

19 and 16. Well I guess you could be their parents. I could. I'm not sure about you kids. No, I don't know if I could. I don't know, you guys could be parents in the South. Yes, in the South, yeah. Yeah, you guys lived in Northern Florida? Yeah, I'd be a great grandfather at this point.

That's great. People in Florida right now, what the, why would he say that? Why would he just throw some of the bus like that? When we filled out our marriage certificate, our marriage license, we got married in Georgia and it said on the certificate, what is the relationship between the two of you?

And then it just said cousin and you're like circle. Cousin, sibling. I feel like Georgia is the most normal, except, no, I guess they're all fine. It's great. Yeah Yeah, I'm just buying it off your target demo Joel. Yeah. Yeah, although I did stay at a hotel where they They there was a target and right behind the target was the largest gun store in Georgia So I was like that's his poetic right there. There you go. It was beautiful. There you go.

Anyway, gun stores. And then, so what did you put down as relationship for the wedding certificate? Father daughter. Good. And they were like, good, very good. You don't want a bunch of strangers getting married. You gotta know.

Know each other. You want you to know each, yeah, what the hell? Yeah. You do a pretty good, do you do a lot of voices? I don't. I mean, I do voiceovers, but not usually with an accent. What made you get into Hollywood? I don't know if you, I know you don't know this.

Okay. Well. Try and stump me. Yeah. Why did I come here? I know why I came here. No, but when I first moved to LA, people are always like, what do you want your career come here? I know why I came here. When I first moved to LA, people are always like,

what do you want your career to be? You know, what's your, like, and you were, I always mentioned you is like, I hope I have a career like Joel McKay. You were like, I want to get here when I'm an older man, go bald, and then somehow have hair again. I was gonna say, you have a great head of hair. Yes, it's all been transplanted right nearby here.

From where? From the back of my head. That's Yes, it's all been transplanted right nearby here. From where? From the back of my head. Perfect. That's how they do it. You have nothing to worry about. It looks great. You're maybe a little. You're 43 though.

That's a great head of hair. Nowadays. Was it rough? Yeah, I would have been bald. Yeah, look at. Oh no. Yeah, I would have been a character actor. Oh no.

You really would have had to character actor. Oh no. You really would have had to have done voices for sure. But when I go to, I had a couple of those meetings early on where people were like, well how do you see your career being shaped? I'm like, when I feel, yeah. Well no, it was like, well I'm gonna start out as an acrobat and then by then, you know,

I will have shot myself out of the number of cannons that will give me the notoriety I was looking for and then I'm gonna switch to copywriting and I don't, I'm always like, how about, because it's usually you're meeting somebody who represents actors and I was like, give me every audition you can possibly find and I'll handle the rest. Yeah. And then you'll drop me and then later on I'll see you at a party and it'll be great You've had an amazing career. It's not over. What?

You're having you an amazing career now that it's the sunset is Almost different now that you're on this podcast you've had and continue to have I didn't realize how insecure you know, I'm scared By the end of this 45 minutes, you'll be, fuck, you won't believe it. Like what's wrong with Joel McHale? Barely. He's tall? Yeah, he's scared of his own shadow. I, how did I, my career was, you know,

like when everyone says, how did you get your start, all that crap and there's no, you know, there's no set path. There's not like a- You just figured it out. I am friends with Connor Duffy, who is, whose dad is Patrick Duffy and he spoke to my acting class way back in the 90s or spoke to the acting class above us. We weren't even good enough to get him, but he was, he, he said it one more, he goes,

if I had the code, I would give it to you to become a successful actor in Hollywood. I don't know what that code is Yeah, and he was he was like I went there I and he had really funny stories, but He was he was very down-to-earth and I was like right. There's just no way to do it You just have to hustle and be scrappy. The only thing I've figured out a hustle and be scrappy is just outlast people Yes, it's really that's kind of it, you know, because. It's a triple ultra marathon. Second time I've referenced an ultra marathon. You just don't go away. Cause there's a lot of talented people

who just kinda quit or move back home. And they're like really good. Move to Minnesota. Yeah, move back to Minnesota. With a dog, a painting of Italy behind them. And then eventually there's like, well, Joel McHale, Nick, Nick still lives here. Yeah.

I guess we can hire him. Right? Kind of been my plan. Just outlast people. That is literally what Harrison Ford said as he received his lifetime Golden Globe Award when that, you know, there was a time when that became problematic and now it seems fine again. But he basically, he was like,

yeah, everyone else left. And so I was the only one left. And that's why I started getting some of these roles. And not, I don't, you know, he's also very good, very good. And the most handsome man on the planet. But he was just like, everybody left. And I was like, yeah, that's kind of, we didn't, I'm not, we're not messing around. I was like, yeah, that's kind of, we didn't, we're not messing around. I was like, I'm here for the long haul. Yeah, it's kind of like you're a professional, you're easy to work with, you're still here and like you just.

Yeah, I'm not going away. I want to drop dead on stage. I'm planning it. But do you have a dream goal? I'm going to poison myself and then get on stage. There you go, and then drop dead. At the Pantages. Actually pretty epic.

During that Mrs. Doubtfire musical that's running right now. So that's my plan, guys. So just get ready. No, I also always reference this scene in all the movies, Braveheart, where they're about to have a battle, but they're not really sure. They might just go like,

all right, you take some tracks of land and go. And then one of the soldiers goes, well, we didn't get all dressed up here for nothing. So I was just like, that's right. Just showing up. Put it on the war paint and doing it is is more than half the battle. Yeah, because I, as you said, there was so many more talented people than me that left. And I was like, fine, I'll take it.

It's great. That's great. And I don't want the real job police to ever come and actually find me take me away now it better not happen do you enjoy hosting or acting more I love them both people was like gun to your head what would you do I'm like where are we at where this person's holding a gun to my head like what is this word what is this world or like that door there is hosting, that door there is acting. And you didn't even mention standup.

So thanks a lot. My specials on Amazon right now. Okay. I'd lumped the acting and the standup together. Okay, I get that. I get that, yeah. I really like them both. And they both exercise different muscles.

And the reason why I ended up doing it was because I really like them both and they both exercise different muscles. And I, the reason why I ended up doing it was because when the soup started, Greg Kinnear had hosted the soup. This is going way back kids before your parents were born in 1991. Uh, he was hosted. Yeah. He was a brand new network. It had no commercials because no one would advertise on E because it didn't. It was just a thing. And so all the commercials were promos for other E shows and Greg Kinnear started it and that show talks open, you know, wound up with an Oscar nomination. So I was

like, well, I'll do if I can do that route. And it wasn't like I was going after the show because the show didn't exist at that point but I was like, uh, hosting and acting seem fine and seem like something I can do but a lot of actor friends were like, oh you can't do both and that was back in the 2000s. Damn. You guys were the age of River, your child. Yeah. Uh. Well, I wasn't but my wife was.

All right. How old were you in 2004? Six. Okay. That's when the show started. Wow, that's amazing. That makes me feel old. I was graduating college, if that makes you feel better. Wow, oh my gosh. So it really was a Southern wedding.

It really was a father-daughter situation. We really embraced the age gap. What is you and your wife's age gap? She is a year older. Oh, okay. So a different route. Yeah. You took a different route, for sure.

Yeah, see? Yeah, we're, yeah. Do you remember your wedding? No, no, no, it was too long ago. Okay. We were married in 96. Okay. How old is your mom and dad?

My mother is 62, my father is 72. She's the youngest of seven. I'm 52. So you're the youngest of seven. How old is the oldest? 50. Oh, so there you go. Right there. So yes, I do 96, 350 people showed up. 350. Yeah. We weren't fucking around. We got four Cuisinart's. You have 350 friends.

Yeah. And well, actually we invited 300 and 350 showed up. Wow. It was a party. Well, we invited 150 and 170 showed up. We fired 150 and 170 showed up. See? Who paid for it? I did. Did your wife's father pay for it? Well, my wife's mother.

Oh. Her father was not alive. Rest his soul. God rest his soul. I never met him. But, yeah, she paid for the whole thing, which my parents were thrilled. Yeah, Nick, unfortunately, chose someone with four family members, so that was not an option. Were your parents like, now we can pay for it. No, my dad.

We have a... Technically, Envy Media paid for it. My dad bought the most expensive gift on my registry, the $1,000 Breville machine. I think that was his way of paid for it. My dad bought the the most expensive gift on my registry. The thousand dollar Breville machine. I think that was his way of doing it. Wait, did they pay for the rehearsal? No, no. Was there an offer? No, no.

They're like, no, we got a cat, the machine. Natalie's family had the farm, though. So that's the most expensive part. You got married on the family farm on the family. Now his sister married a doctor. So and they have they have money. Three hundred on the family farm. On the family farm. Nanny's sister married a doctor. So they have money. 300 and something acre farm. Oh, it wasn't your parents' farm?

No, no. It was a very Yellowstone wedding. I would say my first mistake was not being born into a family with money. Yeah. You know? Yeah. It is. No, it really is the mistake of so many kids. Yeah.

Not our daughter. No, you guys. Not your kids. Now you're gonna have the opposite. Yeah. You're gonna be figuring out which private school you're gonna pay for. Oh, I would love to ask you that.

Oh, it's the last form of organized crime. Oh, no, but yeah. That legal organized crime. Well, I talk about organized crime. Did you guys go to private schools, you kids? I did. I was public. I went to private school. Here in LA? Yeah. Yeah, which one? It's. I was public. I went to private school.

Here in LA? Yeah. Yeah, which one? It's a Jewish high school called Shalhavit. So it was like exclusive and expensive and all that stuff. Do they only take Jewish kids? I don't actually know. My whole class was Jewish, but yeah, that's probably the only reason I went to private

school was because it was like a religious thing. Right? And then you went to public school, not here? No, nor Cal. Yeah. Right. And then you went to public school, not here. No, NorCal, yeah. Okay. That was public. Yeah. That was public. Okay, yeah. So, but so none of you were in California.

No. Yeah. How did you raise your kid? I'm really worried about my daughter being entitled and spoiled. Well, too late. I already met her. I fucking saw. She was a real dick.

And I was like, look at her. She asked me what time the Nobu reservations were. And she doesn't even speak. That's what brand that shirt was. She was like, did you get that? Oh my gosh. You wore that shirt ironically? What's going on?

Look, I was told early on and learned this. I think it's true. Your first job as a parent is to love the shit out of your kids. Love them and love them and love them. So, there's that. We got that. If you do that, that is really good and that takes care of a lot of problems. And I'm sure you guys, kids can be raised, kids can be fucked up whether they're from a very affluent community or from a very poor community and if you don't raise your kid, the world's gonna raise them.

So you're not gonna be able to control everything, but you'll see that you've met the kids that they're like, oh, that kid seemed to have everything. And now they're insane and crazy people and they're crashing cars and getting in trouble. But so whenever people are like, oh, raising kids in Southern California, because I grew up in Seattle and people are like, I can't imagine raising kids down there. It was like, well, in Seattle, there was just lots of heroin and serial killers everywhere. So now we avoided that. And anyway, so that's, I don't, I, it's a good,

it's a good worry to have. But when I hear parents go like, we make our kids fly coach. Wow, you, how did you do it? You really roughed it. You really showed them. I just don't know how you- Like Comfort Plus or?

Yeah. Like how far coach? Like we made a riding coach. But not a middle, but definitely coach. We don't fly jet suites at all anymore. What is your phone- I set my private airline out for a bit. What is your phone policy with your kids?

Do you have one? Like when, well how- From 19 and 16. I know. I feel like now. Yeah, it's too late now. I'm sure they have one now, but like. Yeah, when, I get, yeah, that is, when did you? When did they start?

They were just done breastfeeding. Okay. Perfect. And then I was just holding the phone up. Yeah. It is scary though, when we hold our phone up to River, she instantly locks in. Yeah.

I mean, it's, you're like, ugh, I can't, just constantly texting people going like, when do I start this phone thing with my kid? Let me know soon. And I don't know, I can't remember. Just a couple years ago, I mean, it wasn't too long ago. But it wasn't like, I don't know, it's like, whenever I hear like, we didn't give them their phones,

they were 16, I was like, I don't know, it's a good way to keep track of your kids if they're running around. Sure. And then kind of to your point, it's just like, even when we were kids before phones, we found ways to, I had a lot of buddies who dads had Playboy collections,

and my parents never did, but. Right. Yeah, no, neither did mine, I think. It was all hustler. That's it. What were you gonna say? I was talking to my friend, Chambliss, yesterday and she was saying,

cause so my niece grew up on the iPads and all that stuff and she was like, are you gonna do that? And I was like, I feel like if we just have a really awesome playroom, like I never had a playroom as a kid. I just had like my own bedroom with four toys in it, but like a whole room with with super awesome playroom. Why would they want an iPad?

No, no, no. I bet you that they'll want the iPad. They'll be like, I love the super awesome playroom because it's quiet and I can look at my iPad. No one bothers me when I want my iPad. It's the only, yeah. It's, I think there are times when we're like, all right, put it away and just go have,

run around outside, go dig a hole. I don't know. It's so many of my parents, their friends, all they do is look at their phone. Yeah. So it's not like it's going, yeah, it's here to stay. I don't know. Just get in their Instagram accounts

and start building a following so they can make money, guys. Before TikTok disappears, just get them on. I did make an Instagram for my daughter. No one's using it, but I took the name because I just knew some weirdo would do it. Yeah. Yeah. It's like if I didn't. No, I think that's smart.

I put it on pause, but it's just sitting there. Yeah. And she's Jones into post. Yeah, she asks me every day if we can start turning her Instagram on. She's like colicky again, am I right? She's asking if she's Jones into post. Yeah, she asked me every day if we can start turning her Instagram on. Yeah, she's like, Colicky again, am I right? She's asking if she's verified. Yeah. You can just buy that now.

Who is harder to wrestle, a snake or Chevy Chase? Ooh, it depends on the size of the snake. I would say like- Pass control. Didn't she have to wrestle? Animal control. You mean animal control? Animal control.

Animal control. Animal control. That was a, what is it? That was a Burmese python, which are very amenable and agreeable animals. Really? And if they have eaten, which that one had. They won't eat you. They had eaten a rabbit two days before.

It was a frozen rabbit, guys, so that lessens the blow, I'm sure, just a little bit. But no, we were, we were... Did you watch the python eat the frozen rabbit? No, they brought the python post rabbit popsicle and they, and we were like, because a lot of animals they are, they can like, well, you know, like they're like a lot, especially like dog, they're like, okay, he's a little tired now, so let's give him a break and then they're fine. But with the snakes, they're like, I was like's a little tired now, so let's give him a break and then they're fine. But with the snakes, they're like, I was like, how long can we shoot with the snake?

And I'm like, for as long as he, in two weeks, he'll get hungry again. So we wrapped him around. Yeah, if it was a, like, so Burmese pythons are pretty agreeable animals. Again, you have to feed them. But the African rock python, you'd be dead and pretty fast. If it fell on you, it can, it's real quick and can, you know, squeeze you to death and bite you. But if it's an anaconda, they're like an anaconda, I held an anaconda and they're, they're so

much bigger and yeah, watch out. I have, same thing, we were holding this agreeable one and it was like 200 pounds. But here's a fun fact about the anaconda guys, the guy was like, the snake's happy, but he goes, if you take your hand and rub it like past his mouth, they have one tooth that sticks up and they're like, that is as sharp as a razor blade. And he's like, it has nothing to do with you, but that tooth just sticks out on either side. So, you know, avoid the head. And I was like, avoid the sharp part of the head. So, yeah. But this scariest animal, I think,

was the sloth. Why? Because of the claws? The sloth is very peculiar, terrifying, wonderful animal. It's as big, the one we worked with was this big, was as big as a golden retriever. Whoa. And the guy was like, a lot of people think that sloths are slow and friendly, and he's like, this one is neither.

And we're like, good, you brought the fast, mean sloth. But he was like, but this sloth is pretty typical. And he was like, as long as you hang him where he hangs, you give him a couple of bananas, he's going to be really happy. But he's like, don't get too near his face or he's going to bite you. And they have these black eyes that kind of have a sheen to them so you feel like you're staring into an abyss. And then its teeth look like someone has taken a regular set of fangs, pulled them all out,

smashed them with a hammer and then put them inside, back inside the thing's mouth. So, it would kind of smile at you and I'd be like, this, this is insane. And then its nails make the, they sound like a velociraptor tapping on, you know, like on a cement floor in Jurassic Park. So, I ultimately like really liked it. We put that thing, hung that thing and it just sat there doing its thing and it was perfectly happy. So, most days on set you're dealing with some kind of new animal and have you always been good with pets and animals?

I like the animals a lot. I like, like I'm fine, like they were all worried if I could ride a horse or not. I know you guys can from the South, but, but like, I love all that stuff. Yes. It was a good, like when I would send, I sent photos to my wife and she was like, yeah, this is a really good job for you. I don't really have a lot of fear of them until, you know, I haven't been bit or anything like that. So if you're calm around a relative, you know, an animal that's been trained, you're going

to be fine. Holding the baby cougar was pretty wonderful. Okay, yeah, that would be fun. But like snakes, is there spiders? There's been spiders. I did a whole promo with a tarantula on my face. So what about that makes you excited to go into work? I like that, I'm in, yeah.

You're into tarantula on your face. I like a tarantula. The tarantula we work with is named Gretchen and she's seven or she's eight now, I guess. And she goes to all sorts of schools and kids. You have to be very careful because they can just fall apart because they have huge exoskeletons, which are very, you love them. You love them. What I.

And they have, yeah, they have, they, if you like take a tarantula and turn, what we do is like turn her over on her back. She would just fall asleep. We're trying to get her to walk across my face, but she just kept kind of falling asleep. And I was like, can we get this thing to perform? Come on.

Did you ever see that music video of Billie Eilish where she had the tarantula in her mouth? No. Would you do that? I'd do that. Okay. But I might eat it. Oh.

Little snack. Have you ever eaten a bug? Yeah. Like, yeah, I mean, I've had crickets and stuff. I've done that too. You've eaten a cricket? A chocolate covered cricket, yeah. Okay.

Like one of like the bizarre candy stores, I'll just like give it to you. Yeah, that's good. Oh my God. It's crunchy. I was in a pet store here years ago with my eldest son Eddie and he was like six and the owner of the pet store we had a What did we have at that point that was eating crickets? but you buy the crickets to feed to the lizard of some sort and

The owner of the pet store was just being like he was being cool and he picked up a cricket and ate it. Oh, see that's murder. I can't do that. That's murder. That's murder. Mine was covered in chocolate and it was already dead. He had been pre-murdered. Yeah.

Well, he's like, it's a dead anyway situation for you. Yeah, well, it's already dead. So my son was like, okay, ate it. He did it. Kind of badass. Then I was like, well. So did you do that it. He did it. Kind of badass. Then I was like, well. So did you do that? I sure did.

A lot of cricket. And the guy was like, huh, my trick didn't work. And then he's like, that'll be three. Absolutely. Yeah. You break it, you buy it. It was a tasting menu. It was very expensive.

Yeah. But yes, it was murder. Yeah. He saw you on the roast. Yes. The old Tom Brady roast. How was that? I mean, we're upset we weren't invited, obviously. But it looked really fun. There were little name tags and your names were there.

Really? He was sitting in our seat. In Kardashian. No, no. River was there. Having a great time. That's where she was. You cannot smoke in the Forum. Okay. She was there with Dave Chappelle.

She was with Dave Chappelle? Yeah, they had a great time. She's so cool. Yeah, I thought that roast got a lot of coverage. It really did. I didn't know how big of a deal it was. And then I was like, oh, it's a Forum, I didn't know how big of a deal it was. And then I was like, oh, it's a farm.

I guess I didn't realize we'd be sitting at tables in that. They showed you a lot. Well, you know, I was like, they gotta keep their finger on the pulse. How much did you pay them? I paid them 600 grand an hour. That made sense. Per person.

Yeah, I brought my 16 year old. So I'm like, you enjoying these dirty jokes, son? They didn't show him much. They, they know they showed him once because his friends were like, they were like, yeah, they saw me and he's a huge football fan. So he knew. Yeah. And, but it was really funny. I mean, it was fucking good and I really enjoyed it.

And the joke telling was pretty great. Kevin Hart, man. Very talented. Woo, Nikki Glaser was really funny. Nikki crushed it. Yeah. I mean, but, and then, you know, like the pro, the pros, right, they're pros

and they should be crushing it, right? And then the fucking, all the, you know, the football players got up there, Drew Bledsoe nailed it. It was really good. Yeah. And I was, yeah, I was overall like hard. It's a hard thing to do.

And it was live because usually those are never live and they can cut around stuff and they can cut people's down if they're bombing or whatever. Did it go as seamlessly as it looked? Yes, like so seamlessly. And I was very truly. Yeah. What did you make of Tom Brady getting up and like whispering to Jeff Ross,

like don't ever fucking say that again. Was that a bit or was that real? That was a bit. Okay. Yeah, I mean, that, yeah, I can't, I mean, I don't think it was real, but in the place it was real. I mean, excuse me, it was, you know,

or it was a joke. Okay. So that- Because like the internet at the time, I remember what was happening. Everyone's like, oh, this is almost like a Will Smith Oscar situation. And then I watched it was, you know, it was a joke. Okay. So that- Because like the internet at the time, I remember what was happening. Everyone's like, oh, this is almost like a Will Smith Oscar situation. And then I watched it and I was like, eh.

No, it wasn't any. They want there to be something so bad. And they want it so bad. They want to point out, that person said that thing. And that's, yeah, they want it so bad. But he even killed it. I mean, he was very smooth and it really pisses me off. Is money tight?

Yep. Yep. Sure is now, especially after the wedding. We all know that we waste a ton of money on things that we don't use. Well, stop wasting money on apps that you've downloaded, forgot about, and are not using. Those add up. But the average person is wasting $720 a year

on apps that they are not using. I myself found out that I was wasting over $1,000 a year, but that's where Rocket Money came in. Rocket Money is a personalized finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so that you can grow your savings. I can see all of the subscriptions in one place,

and if I see something I don't want, something that maybe I thought I wanted for a moment, and maybe I signed up for the free trial and forgot about it, and then now I'm paying for it every single month, Rocket Money can help me cancel it within a few taps. Rocket Money has over five million users and has saved a total of 500 million

in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all the app's features. In addition, Rocket Money will even negotiate and lower your bills for you by up to 20%. All you have to do is submit a picture of your bill and Rocket Money takes care of the rest. They'll even deal with customer service for you.

So stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash viall. That's rocketmoney.com slash viall. Rocketmoney.com slash viall, that's rocketmoney.com slash viall, rocketmoney.com slash viall. Well, you've heard us talk about Vessi and the amazing sneakers that they are making. Well, now they're making coats.

I got this incredibly stylish raincoat from Vessi that I'm wearing everywhere now. It kind of fits with everything. It's super fashionable. I'm loving it. I'm loving that Vessi is I'm wearing everywhere now. It kind of fits with everything. It's super fashionable. I'm loving it. I'm loving that Vessi is diving into other things in just shoes because they're doing sneakers so well. As a reminder, Vessi is a waterproof,

not water resistant, waterproof tennis shoe that is great for really any types of commuting. Whether you're walking to work in the city to avoid potholes and puddles, or you're a hiker and you're traveling, Vessi is the most comfortable and versatile shoe that you can find out there. Vessi is perfect for when the weather

just can't make up its mind. They're easy going, they're versatile, they're waterproof, they have you covered, rain or shine. Whether it's the weekend sneaker, your go-to for every activity, or their Stormburst low top, Vessi has you covered.

Plus, again, their Westerly coat jacket is an amazing waterproof jacket that also looks incredibly stylish. It pairs with so many different outfit choices. You have to get one in your closet today. Elevate your spontaneous activities with Vessi's Stormburst weakened shoes together with their Westerly coat jacket.

Discover more at vessi.com slash viall. Get your pair today to get an automatic 15% off your first purchase at checkout and be ready to stay cool and dry. All right, so Nick, being a father you love it? I do. Greatest thing that's ever happened to you? Yeah, absolutely. I really enjoy it. Yeah, it's absolutely my favorite thing. Pretty good. It's pretty great. Yeah. All right. What's your favorite thing about it? The money that I've lost. Okay.

You pay a lot of these kids. They do cost a lot. Yeah, it makes me feel like it's like the greatest charity of all time. But I'm just, I'm gonna try to make her work pretty quickly. Okay. So she can pay. Like child labor? Yeah. Okay.

Whatever it's allowed. Like a factory? Yeah, it's called Instagram. Oh. Huh? Okay. I'm kidding. No. You think TikTok's going away? I kinda, I think so. I kinda hope so. I try to stay off of it. I don't know. I'm like free speech and all. I think someone else is going to buy it. We'll see. Do you want it to go away? Well, I like how they're like, they're going to know everything

about you. I'm like, yeah, like Facebook already does. Yeah. I was like, so, cause I know that Facebook has been, they've been heavily lobbying to get it shut down. And then everyone says, yeah, it's just bad. Yeah, I mean, they all have all the information, but if they move the servers over here, then that should work. Yeah. Yeah, if they become, I mean, yeah,

there's no doubt that the software can see into our phones, but so can so many of the social media. Yeah, no, every time I go on it, like the first thing I'm served is the last thing I was talking about to Natalie. It's kind of bizarre. Do you like this hat you looked at a year ago? We have other hats like it. I'd love to.

And now that you're in this neighborhood, you should try this espresso bar in this fall place. Great. Yeah. It's a little scary. How many followers do you have on Instagram? 1.3 million. Yeah, I didn't think it was 1.3 thousand.

Well, I don't know. How many do you have? Oh, I'm I think still in the 500,000 range. Yeah, that's not very good. That's half of yours. Most of it is like bachelor related. I don't know how active all my followers are. You mean like they might've died?

Honestly, yeah. They might've passed away. I do think about that sometimes, like what happens with their accounts. Maybe a lot of people come and go, you know. Oh, when people actually die. Yeah, like when you die, what happens to your social media? I think they still exist.

I think it sticks around. If the social media's been good, they go to heaven. No, but the most haunting thing is when someone gets rid of their phone number, and then years later I get a notification on my phone and it's like, grandpa's joined Snapchat. And I'm like, no he hasn't, no he hasn't. I still get text messages from people who think

I'm the person who used to own the number, which is bizarre, I've had it for a while now. But every once in a while, I'll get like a message being like, so I'm invited to like some sort of spam. I think that's spam. Maybe, I don't know, I don't reply. It looks legit though. That you own it.

I didn't realize I have to hear Minnesota. I have to have this on. Have you just been reading her lips this whole time? Has she been talking this whole time? Yeah. So she's had one. Yeah. That guy's a real dick. He's the heart and soul of the time. Has she been talking this whole time? Yeah. So she said one. Yeah, a little bit.

Guy's a real dick. He's the heart and soul of the show. Wait, what do you mean number? When you said you got a spam. Like, I get a text message from someone like inviting me to like a soup, like a family reunion. A soup.

Oh. Like I was gonna say like a- Like an episode of the soup? A soup. No, like a family reunion or something. And be like, hey, we're all bringing up potluck or whatever to this thing. I've been invited to random weddings and things.

Yeah, no, but I think this is just someone who thinks I'm Dave. Oh, okay. Have you ever gone to any of those random weddings that you've been invited to, just for fun? No, though I have been paid to show up to birthday, a couple birthday parties back way back when. I was like, yeah, great.

I'll do that. Wow. And turned it into like a, I don't know, I went to a guy's birthday party in Las Vegas. And I was like, you just want me to show up? Okay, yeah. And so when people have said to me like, you probably shouldn't share that.

I'm like, why not? It seems so strange and wonderful. And there he was a really nice guy. How much did they pay you? $10,000. Way back when in 1991. No, it was right as the super start is starting. I think no, was it more? It was not 10,000. It was more than 10,000. Yeah, it was like 50,000. Whoa. I remember the 10,000 because the guy was a billionaire and he was like, let's go play craps. And I was like, great. And then he gave me $10,000 worth of chips. And I was like, I'm just going to go cash this in. And then he proceeds like, no, no, no, no, let's go make some money. And then he proceeded to lose it all very quickly and I was like well when some you lose some you can do like if you're like like you

just I know Robin Thicke and but like when he you know had one of the biggest songs on the planet people offer you know like hey we'll fly at a United Arab Emirates and you can perform the song for an unreal you know that I think Rihanna recently made like $9 million to like do a concert at some billionaire. At a wedding. It was a wedding. It was their wedding, yeah.

Something like that. Yeah, I mean that shit happens a lot. Or like a lot of corporate events too. Like when I was in corporate America, like every time they would have like our President's Club like sales wards, they would fly in. A comedian.

A comedian. I do that all the time. Beyonce did that for I think wards, they would fly in. A comedian. A comedian. I do that all the time. Beyonce did that for, I think Atlantis, a resort in Dubai. Oh yeah. And she was paid like 400 million or something. Oh my.

I might be butchering that number. 400 million? That's a lot of money. I think it was around that, hold on, Beyonce. 400 million, is that when she became the comedian? I was actually invited to that event. You were? Yeah, I didn't go.

Why didn't you go? How many millions were they gonna pay you? I totally butchered it. It's 24 million. That's a lot of money. In my head, it's the same amount. Now it just seems like a tiny amount of money. Oh man, that's it. Why didn't I go?

We had something else going on, and it was like, they were paying... I think they just offered the free trip, and it was like 48 hours. And I was like, I'm not... And you're like, I'm not going You're like, I'm not gonna. It just seemed like a lot. Yeah. And. Yeah.

No. It seemed fun, but like, I wasn't trying to fly across the world for 48 hours. No. I'd saw Beyonce at Coachella a couple of years before that. And I was like, it was a good show. Yeah. What if they had paid you 12 million?

Would you have been like, oh, so I'm half as good as Beyonce? If they would have probably made me any decent, I would have gone, but I wasn't gonna go for free. No, I am the yes. Just to do it. Yeah, no, this when people, yeah, I love that stuff. If it's quick, great, I'll take it.

Yeah. But I do a lot of corporate gigs where I actually entertain or host the thing. So I'm actually doing work and I enjoy the hell out of it. It's very strange and wonderful. You mentioned Private schools being organized crime. Yes. Yeah, I felt that way about the wedding industry recently when just getting married Yeah, so they're like, oh so you would like you're getting married. That'll be ten thousand dollars for a haircut Yeah, whatever it is every tiny little part. How many cakes did you taste? Just one. Oh, with the cake thing,

we just decided to get a little cake for us and then we serve cookies to our guests and like cut up that cake. We didn't do the whole big cake. Oh, that's a great idea. Like no one does that shit. Like, you know, and we also didn't do a sit down. If you ever get married again.

Okay. I have some notes for you. I'll tell them. I'll let, I'll let. Oh, so you did, did you not do a sit down just because you didn't want to or because? We had went to a wedding. Our friend Ben Higgins did a very similar thing where they just served hors d'oeuvres

the whole time and like, and that was great. And everyone just kept the energy going and everyone had fun and we were like, we want to do this. So I'll highly recommend that. But working with the vendors has been like, I want to bitch about some of them, but I don't know if I should. Do you complain about like experiences at like airlines or, you know, being the public figure that you are? Do you feel like you have a right to complain or not have a right to complain?

Because sometimes like when it comes to our wedding, there's a couple of vendors- Well, I'm an American, so I have a right to complain. Sure. Yeah. But like, I don't know. I want to bitch about some of these vendors, but I don't know if I should That's a good question. I think if it was truly egregious Then yes, but if it just works for

Anecdotal stuff that and you don't say their names then great. Yeah, I'm trying to think of Like air like I'm still like the magic of airplanes people complaining all the time look I Spirit Airways like the the humans of Spirit, which is a great Instagram account, it's not news that Spirit Airlines is not well regarded as far as- You get what you pay for. Yeah. And so, it's still, I'm still like, I get into a magical tube and five hours later, I'm across the country. I still, if you told our great grandparents that, they'd be like, this is some sort of

magic. Magic has become a part of the world. Anyway, but that said, it can't be miserable. Yeah, I gotta go ahead and complain. I don't know. Or you could do what Joy Behar did way back when, this is we've always made fun of her in the soup, she was on The View and she got her wedding paid for by each like every other day, like for a year leading up to her wedding, she would start mentioning the vendors and she would

be like, Samuelson Silverware. Now this and it'd be like out of the blue and all the other hosts would be looking around at her and she was like, they are amazing. And they have really done a yeoman service to be at our wedding and they have the chilled fork, the salad fork, the main event fork. And it'd be like, then she would do it the next week for flowers and next week for the cake she got paid for. I had to hand it to her.

Yeah, we paid for everything at our wedding. We didn't do any, we didn't get any discounts. Were you offered them? No, it was one of those things where like, we didn't know, like we were more than willing and could pay for it. And then sometimes with certain vendors, it just, it becomes more complicated

that do that whole song and dance of. Right, he's trying to decide whether she complained about some of the vendors at your wedding. Yeah. I wanted his opinion. Well, I've heard it enough from him, so maybe. I don't know if we can do that. We're talking about public shaming now. Yeah. I want it as a- Well, I've heard it enough from them, so maybe- We're talking about public shaming now. We're talking about ruining someone's business.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, does it deserve to be ruined? Maybe in the slightest bit, but like not fully, you know? I don't want to ruin their business. I would love them to adjust. How can we- Bring awareness.

Okay. Yeah. I'm trying to think of how we can breach it without naming names And but as soon as you say what the service was you can't and this is a and I can't I can only say so much Because people will figure it out. I saw your tuxedo was awful It was bad. Yeah, so maybe you were let us stray in that way. No Okay That was a a personal choice. Swing and a miss. Yeah. Shoot. He just keeps going.

You get three more guesses. I did have a friend who, years ago, she had an ice cream cake and that. Oh. I've never seen a wedding cake this mistake. It was the greatest. It came out, you know it out, and you could see the frost coming up, is obviously, but they cut it up so fast, and I've never seen people going back for seconds on a wedding cake. Yeah, no, my biggest frustration with the wedding vendors

is you're getting married, usually for the first time. A lot of people are getting married for the first time. You don't know what to expect, you don't know what you don't know, you don't know what to ask for. These wedding vendors, they do this every weekend, they know exactly how to protect themselves. Which I totally get, they're running a business, but every step of the way when you're like, oh, what? Oh, I just realized

what about this? So like, oh, well, yes, that's in the contract. Fuck you. Pay us more. And you're like, well, I know I'm out of, I'm not, I'm out of money. Yes. This is not part of the budget, but now you've got me here. Now you got me. And this particular vendor that really pissed me off, we had a need and that need we realized. I don't know what the need is. A hand job. A hand job.

Oh. Well, I didn't realize there was like a formal vendor. And they're like, well, if you want a hand job. We'll call it a hand job. You're gonna have to pay us more. And it's just like, well, I can't do that. And then, well, at that point, we had already paid this vendor half, half upfront because they all to pay us more." And it's just like, well, I can't do that. And then, well, at that point, we had already paid this vendor half,

half upfront because they all are like, pay us now, we can cost a lot at any time, but pay us now. And then we've realized this need a day before. And they weren't coming, they weren't gonna be, they're not gonna be forthcoming. So at 60 days, at 61 days before our wedding, I realized this need.

At 60 days, they were entitled to demand full payment. So we said, can we have 24 hours to find, you can't meet our needs, to find someone else and eat half of the cost. And they were like, no. So we were kind of forced to hire them because. So that was comfortable on the day of the wedding and they're all there.

They were actually quite nice on the day of the wedding. After the wedding, it got back to the, fuck you, pay us more. Did you end up paying them more? No, not yet. Good. Are they suing you? Well, we've paid them what we owe them. Right. Yeah. But they wanted what percentage more? Well, if we... How do I say this without giving it away? How many more hand jobs did you... There's still... I want more hand jobs. Right? Is this related to what we're talking about? I'm like, I know, honey, I'm so sorry.

I'll do better. They're holding our hand jobs hostage. They're holding our hand jobs hostage. Trying to think of what this is. Cause they have something of yours? They do. They have all of it. They have all of it.

What a bunch of assholes. So they have them all. They have them all. I'm trying to think of what it is that you were like, we need this and you did get the thing. Some of it. Or they were like, some of it.

Yeah. But not all. But you have to pay more to have the. Climax. Possibly discarded hand jobs. Exactly. Because you would like to see them all. Well, also you don't know what you value.

Like one of the hand jobs might be like a speech from a parent. You would think that that would be included. Part of it. In the first load. Part of it. But what if you want the whole mess afterwards? What if you want the memory of, you know, your dad.

When they offer. Your dad. Gives them a hand job. Giving a hand job. I can see why you moved to Minnesota now. Yeah. I wanna know what the, I'm trying to figure out without saying the thing, I think now it's already out,

but I wanna know what the thing is that 61 days out, you were like, you cannot do this thing. You are not capable of this thing that we now see that we need. We can tell him and then we can cut it out, yeah? Yeah. Just so we're on the same page. All right, so now, action.

All right, now we know, guys, we cut it out. It seems, is that typical? I don't know. We had no idea. We never got married before. So I think it might be typical. Also the same person was demanding credit on everything that they did and we were like, well no, if you want public credit, we can give you that.

But like, I think it's a policy in the wedding industry, we've realized that's how they operate. You know, it's a, they have all these levers of how to squeeze more money out of you. So really the only, the only real solution is you're going to pay probably and you'll get it and you'll be like, yeah, we had to go through that threshold. We had to pay, just pay, organize crime. You paid for your protection and then you got, you're going to get it.

But then the question is, is like, do we inform our audience, hey, next time, if you ever are getting married, be sure to ask these questions because I wish someone would have told us to. You know what, you should have a person who is in that industry, you should interview them and go, is this the norm?

Is that you, would you get all that? And publicly see if it's normal? Maybe or just ask somebody that doesn't have to be on the podcast. Quick conversation, but yeah, I don't know. Did you like the thing that the way loved? They did a great job. No, their talents are undeniable. Their professionalism lacking. This is not cheap.

We know it's not cheap. No, but is it enough money that it hurts you or is it just more in the principle of the thing? A little bit of both. I mean, could we, I mean, we're at what, we were way over budget. And at what point do you just say, how much more can we spend on this thing, you know?

Like, so there's a principled element for sure. But, yeah. But yeah. But if you give them a certain amount, you will have it. Yeah. Can we talk about your time hosting House of Villains? Did you get to know many of the cast that you hosted? Well, I know, like I've known Tiffany Pollard for years. And Tanisha from Bad Girls Club.

Tiffany Pollard being New York from I Love New York and every Flavor Flav show. But I got to know Johnny Bananas and he's an extremely smart person and totally kind and cool. And so for the most, so that those are some of the people that I've gotten to know. Yeah, they, you know, the point of the show is that you are a villain so that those are some of the people that I've gotten to know Yeah, they they you know The point of the show is that you are a villain and that you are good at these games So they are all for the most part seasoned television game Participators and it I you know

that's why I took it because I was like I kind of made fun of all these people way back when when you were six and And I was watching bad girls club when I was six. Were you really? Yes, loved it. Big fans really good. And Tanisha is that I'm gonna sleep cuz of me cuz of y'all. And she's banging the pots and pans. She is television gold.

And she she's she I like her a lot. And she's she should have 12 shows. She's, I like her a lot and she should have 12 shows. She's really funny and she, she knows, there is, it's really, it works out great for this show in particular because they all know what it's like and you're like, all right guys, here we go. And then it's kind of like showtime. I'm like, here we go.

And there's only been a couple that wouldn't come out of their rooms or something. Was it Jax Taylor? Yeah. What'd you think of Jack Taylor? He was always, he was eliminated very quickly in the first show because he was on, you know, Vanderpump, which is not a competition reality show. I thought you were going to say Mather or something. Oh, no, he's just very handsome man. But is he problematic?

Yes. Yeah, very much. Yeah. Oh, great. A villain. He is a villain. There you go. It's like a real life,? Yes. Yeah, very much, yeah. Oh, great. A villain. He is a villain. There you go. It's like a real life, I think. Yeah.

Have you ever watched Vanderpump? No. Yeah. That's okay. What? No, he just like does actual things. We're like, you know, a bachelor villain's kind of like, hey, you interrupted a date.

Right, well, a producer pushed you into that date going like, oh, hey guys, what is going on? Everyone interrupts the date. they just showed the time. Right, but he was being like an actual dick. He was like cheating on his partners with strippers and then lying to his friends. He was actually doing horrible shit. Oh yeah, that's bad.

Now he's got a bar. Now he has a bar. On Ventura. He was always, well, I'm the host, so he's always nice to me. But he got eliminated quickly. And it was funny, Johnny Bananas was like, because he won the first challenge and Johnny Bananas was like, you know, you don't want to do that. You don't want to win. Put a target on your back.

Yeah. Oh, Jax won the first challenge? Yeah. And then they're like, oh, they're going to be coming for you. And have you had interaction with him? Only one. How'd it go? Not great. Oh. Is he an insane person? No, I don't know. He's a high character person. I was the bachelor at the time. He saw me at a club with his wife and it was the only time I ever turned down someone for a

picture because he just had such a bad reputation and I was secretly engaged and I just didn't want to be seen at a nightclub. How did he take that? Not well. He blocked him on Instagram. He blocked me on Instagram and did like a whole tour telling people. Do you think it would have been better if you just took a photo? No. Stands by it.

Yeah, it was like, are you from ever Tom Sandoval? The whole scandal. Have you heard? I have heard. Yes. This was a big, this. It would be like, as if I took a picture of with him while I was the you know, you just when you're the bachelor, you have to deal with a lot of crap and assumptions and like they want to be the

oh, this guy's supposed to be engaged and he's hanging out with the Jacks tailors of the world. And yeah, I did not regret it. No. OK. All right. Are you OK with that? Would you have been did you know each other at that point no no no so it wouldn't have been advised he was someone else are you engaged with someone else at the time from the show yeah okay are you married to them to yes secret family yeah okay yeah Wow see I didn't do my research enough.

Did you guys meet on a show? No. I slid into his DMs. Oh. Yeah. All right. How do you slide into the DMs? Like via slide.

She responded, I responded to her like you didn't respond to me. You were not following her at the time. No. All right. He was on my explore page. Explorer? Like Med page. Explorer? Like Medscape Explorer?

He's going back, you had a... Do you get on Instagram? You had a browser from 1995? You had a little button that's next to the homepage. There's a little button. It's a little magnifier? No. You can search people?

Okay, I've never done this. All right, all right. Talk to you. It really shows you how old I am. Geez. I know that you can go to search. Yeah, this is a little- And then it'll show me, it'll show me Norm McDonald clips.

Below source. Below search is a bunch of random photos and videos. Yes. Yes, he was on mine, a random. Instagram suggested. And I was like, how come you? Wait, but you knew who he was. I didn't.

But you saw- No one believes her. When you click on the thing, it's like, he's got a million followers and he says, Bachelor. It didn't say Bachelor. It didn't say bachelor. He's never, yeah, he's never had a... I don't promote that. How many seconds later did you find out he was on The Bachelor? Once I went to New York and everyone was stopping him.

Wait, so the... He never mentioned it. Wait, but you flew to New York? I did. To meet him. To meet him? Correct. Yeah, that's, what did you think as person, did you think a person was coming to kill you? I've already heard about it. You were like, she was like, great, love to go on a date.

I'm already here. See you in a bit. I think we both. Dun, dun, dun. What the fuck? We both. How did you do that? We both definitely had like, please don't murder me,

concerns, but it worked out. Yeah. Were you mad? Mad? You were like, oh, by the way, I got engaged on television and I, yeah, I didn't bother to you. Didn't you message a billion times? How long ago was it when we messaged that you were the bachelor? Four years?

Four years later. Yeah. So it wasn't a big part of my life. Oh, so it was a post. Yeah. Four years post? Yeah. So, wasn't a big part of my life. Oh, so it was, oh, post. Yeah, four years post being a bachelor. So it was like nowhere on his Instagram feed, and you know. All right, and you didn't do like a Google search

to see if he was a killer or something? I did not. I probably should have. It probably would have saved a lot of questions and confusion. Yeah, I mean, cause, wow. I did not. You know, there's-

You didn't think like, ah, this could be an army hammer situation. Well, now that army, I mean, cause, wow. I did not. You didn't think like, this could be an Army Hammer situation. Well, now that Army, that story is public, I probably would have if I had watched the documentary beforehand. But you know how many just like hot Instagram guys there are with a lot of followers? Like it's honestly kind of- Fuck yeah, dude.

It's kind of what I thought it was. You were like, oh, that guy's super cute. He didn't, was there a lot of, I don't know, you see a lot of shots of him on a beach. A lot of selfies and shirtless. Yeah. Showing it off. Yeah, with like fake glasses.

She was absolutely planning on hitting and quitting it. She just thought she was gonna like bang this douchebag. That was the only plan that I had. But you were gonna spend all that money on the plane ticket and taxis and where were you staying? Well, I stayed with him. Shit, you guys did not mess around. It worked out though.

It really did. Yeah. Whenever it was like, oh, I was too, I was like, I don't know, we'll see. I got friends that did the same thing and it's worked out great. And then other friends who took forever and yeah now they're divorced. So Jack's Taylor. Jack's Taylor. There you go. So you're secretly friends. That makes sense. Yeah, I don't know if

I'm yeah, well he was always game to play the games. Omarosa at one point wouldn't come out of a room. So I was like, come on, this is why we're here. Why don't they come out of their room? What's going on? What are they doing in there? I don't know, they got some, I was like. On their iPad? Yeah. Well, they're not allowed to have their phones or their iPads. So they get them part of the day

because you can easily win a lot of the games if you know, you know, look up shit. Anyway, well, that's, that's a. How was Corinne? She wanted to win that money. She's smart. And she was really nice and she fucking went for it. So there was a challenge where there was a key in a block of ice and you had to get that

key and unlock a lock obviously. But and we're like, good luck on melting that ice block. And then it was them, you know, people rubbing their skin on it to start melting the ice and she totally dropped her pants and rubbed her butt on that thing until that key fucking appeared. And I was like, that was good television. And I think Johnny was rubbing his chest on it.

So it worked out great because he had no ingrown hairs from the waxing. And so, yeah, she was absolutely totally lovely. She was on The Bachelor. She was on my season. Oh, did you get married to her? Nope. All right, no, I just wanted to meet her nanny.

Her nanny? Yeah. What her nanny? Was she a nanny? She had a nanny, that was her big storyline. Oh, right, yes. Yeah, for someone who had a nanny, I was like, oh no, she knows what she's doing. Yeah, no, it was a bit of a bit, but.

Yeah, it's a good bit. Yeah. It's good. Yeah, it was entertaining. It really shows you how to do the research on the people that are on the shows that I host. But then again, they don't know who I am. They thought I was, you know, Carson Daly for like two weeks.

How did that make you feel? Or Tosh. Yeah, I thought I was Tosh, Daniel Tosh. Flattered, yeah, yeah, I would just start talking about my TRL, Dave. That's before you were born. That's crazy. That's like talking about the Jack Parr show. Like that was on before I was born.

Okay. Yeah. Anyway, good times. We should go to Jack's bar and see what happens. Can we hang out? Yeah, we should hang. Great. My wife loves a baby Great. I have one. This is great. Me or my daughter. Oh Well, you know It works

My teenagers you'll never see them. They wouldn't be interested in you guys at all. But yeah, all right. And then I'll see what they say. Great. And you like to, I know you like to cook. You like to grill. I do, do you? I love, love. So you do all the cooking?

He does, and the cleaning. I don't do that either. I do the laundry. You don't have a cleaning person? We have, we do. Well, she comes about. But like daily dishes. Oh yeah, no, that's me.

I do the dishes. If I'm home. She does the laundry. Yeah. What's your favorite thing to cook? Meat, no, that's me. I do the dishes. If I'm home. She does the laundry. Yeah. What's your favorite thing to cook? Meat. Meat, yeah. Love me.

How do you cook your steak? Well, I can do it however you like. He can sear it. He can. I like to reverse sear it. You do? I do because it saves a little time if you haven't got a bunch of people over

and you're making all sorts of other stuff. That's true. I do like taking a bone in ribeye and packing it with salt and pepper and then burning a bunch of brown butter, brown the butter and then make that nice crust. And yeah, that's good times. Okay.

It's terrible for you, but it's really tasty. Oh, it's terrible for you? Well, you're taking the butter and you're, shut, yeah, you're cooking something in butter. So yeah, but if I get to the end of my life and they're like, shouldn't have had all that butter, you would have lived two more years and be like worth it. That's kind of how I feel about International Delight Coffee Creamer.

Hmm. Okay. You're just like, it's just too good. It is. For all the chemicals and stuff and process or whatever it is. Or maybe it's. Like a doctor would have to look me in my eyes

and say one more drop and you'll die. Okay. For me to stop drinking it. Wow. Yeah. What if this was, I don't know, what if it was grain alcohol? They were like, well, you drink enough

to your liver detached one more drop and that's it. Then I would probably say. Okay. But is it too late then, you know? Did you like International Delight when you met Nick? Oh yeah, I've been drinking it since I was probably four. Like just? Out of the fridge.

Straight? Yeah, hazelnut. Were you raised? Alephine. Oh, well there you go. Yeah, that's, do you feel more worldly when you drink it? Oh, absolutely. You're like, I felt more grown.

I felt more grown. And more delightful. Yeah, there's diplomats that right now are drinking international delight. Yeah, I felt more grown for sure. Were you, that wasn't a deal breaker for you? No, no. I didn't discover it until after we were living together.

I do now get lectured if he sees it in the fridge. Oh. It's just more of just likeured if he sees it in the fridge. Oh. It's just more of just like, you know, it's not great. To get the shame of it. Look, if that's your one vibe. She doesn't drink. She doesn't really do any drugs. Doesn't really do any drugs.

She barely drinks. She weighs more alcohol. Just a little fentanyl each morning. Well, that's normal. What's it in the breast though? In my international light coffee creamer. Right before she breastfeeds. Yeah.

There you go. River slipped all day again. How much you bench-pinching these days? Thanks for asking. How much am I bench pressing? Not what I used to. When I played football, that was okay. But how much?

I mean, you're fifty three. Fifty two. I fucking dare you. I could do if I have a good spotter, I could do a good spotter as opposed to the spotters. They're like, oops. You dropped it on your throat. No, it's on your throat.

Yeah, grab it. I could probably do 315 right now. Jesus. What are you at? Not that. Well, tell me what you're at. You know, you could take it just if you're halfway good at it, it just takes practice. No, I know.

So I rep with 225 usually. I don't. What are you at? I will rep with like at 155 maybe. You got the you got the you got the. You got the 45 plates on either side? Yeah, yeah. And you do the 10s. Plus the bars, 45 pounds. The 40, you know, with just the 45 plates in the bar,

that's 135 pounds. Yeah, so then you put the 10s on either side and you're good. Yeah. That's it. I do that a lot. I'll just do a lot of reps. I went sometimes if I worried about my shoulder or something. I could do 225.

Could you? Twice maybe. Let's bring it in. Producers, produce. Prove it. Let's get it out here. But like, yeah, I got a torn meniscus on my right knee. So my squats are so sad now. See, my squats are good. What are you squatting?

I mean, I could probably squat 300. That's a lot of weight. Probably. I haven't maxed out in a while, but yeah, that'd be my guess. Yeah. Back when I competed in college, I was four something, I was squatting four.

It's a lot of weight. Yeah, that's a lot. That's really good. Thanks. That's, yeah. But not anymore. No. No.

I have a question for you. As someone who- Yes. Admires your career. You're dyslexic? Very. No. No. I have a question for you. Someone who- Yes....admires your career. Uh-huh. You're dyslexic? Very. Yeah, same. Yeah.

I have a hard time with teleprompters. I thought this was the live files. Yeah. Hahaha. How did you get good or how do you get by? You- I really struggle with teleprompters. Me too.

And I feel like when it comes to the hosting bit, that's- It's kind of, you need it. It's a struggle. So, uh, you don't ever get, it's never like, all right, and now you're cured. That never stops. It also depends, or that never happens and it depends on how dyslexic you are. Uh, but I, like when I started shooting the soup, when you were a newborn, it would take me four hours to get through 22 minutes of copy. It was a brutal, they were so patient at E. There was, I'll always look back on them fondly

because they were, they must have thought they had hired a blind person or- That's how I feel. An idiot. Like what is wrong with this person? Did they never learn how to read? Cause it's what it kind of sounds like. The anxiety of that and the pressure of that as I did it over and over and over again,

slowly drifted away, which was great. So the anxiety of like, oh fuck,, am I going to fuck this up? Kind of is gone. And then we started doing the soup live. And I would promote it by going, I'm dyslexic. I am going to screw this up. Tune in Fridays at 10. And so that also like kind of being honest with it, letting it out also really helped but it never stops so I have to be extremely familiar with the copy and Almost memorized to the almost memorized especially if it's jokes. Yeah, if it's man, I think I smell If it is that's my wife

If it is... That's my wife probably. Oh. Not that. Thank you. Oh, I thought it smelled like alfalfa. Hey, sorry, Alabama. I'll see myself out. Huntsville, Alabama though, largest...

Auburn, Alabama. Well, Huntsville has the largest percentage wise of Mensa members because of all the rocket scientists. They have that amazing rocket museum there. Yeah, they do, I have a friend who works there. For my whole family. Yeah, they did not like it when I made fun of them. They were like amazing rocket museum there. Yeah, they do. I have a friend who works there. For my whole family. Yeah, they did not like it when I made fun of them. They were like, that's not us, you son of a bitch.

And what am I saying? So now it's a lot better, but your brain never, you never like, cause our brains are sending the message over here and then it sends it back over here as opposed to typical brain folks that it's instantaneous. Like Jimmy Kimmel, when I watch him read, it is just effortless. It's incredible.

And then he's so good at it. And like John Oliver and Seth Meyers and Conan, they all fucking just nail it. And I'm like, how are they good for them? But then I talked to, just name dropping, but Bill Hader, like Bill Hader is super dyslexic and he's the same way. He's like, if you're changing something on the card, I need to know, cause it's gonna fuck me up.

And I was like, good, good. Somebody is not a total superhero while he's, or he is a superhero. But he was like, he also also had when he told me I just like saying what it doesn't seem like at all and so anyway yeah I just need to be very familiar with it like I do this telethon where it's an it's 90 minutes of script when and so there's no way I'm going to be memorized off that unless I'm doing, you know, Hamlet, which I will be doing Hamlet.

So, there's really nothing. All I can do is kind of go through the script and go. I like to separate word, like if I see like a group of words that just doesn't look like anything, I'll separate those out or rewrite it. So, I have them do that, but there's really no cure for that. And so, I've just, you've just fucked it up multiple times. So I was like, ah, what are you gonna do? That makes me feel better.

Not give money to the homeless. So yeah, so that's, yeah, it's been a whole, yeah, you should have seen me cold reading at like auditions, which I stopped doing because it's impossible. Because if someone's like, here's all the scripts, I'm like, I don't know, no way. So I need time with it. That's why I went early on when I couldn't get an agent and I made it into an advantage because I would go into these commercial auditions and

I would always make sure that they were like, I don't know, sunny delight. And I'd be like, I'm getting this script, I memorized the script and I'll then add my own jokes and that I ended up booking a ton of commercials because I was more prepared than most people. They're like, okay, here we go. And that that obviously led to my the empire that I have now, the Jay Z empire that I have created with Beyonce. Did you pass that down to your children? Oh yeah. You did. Yeah, you're welcome kids. Yeah, my dad has it and won't really want to admit it.

And so when I told him, I was like, dad, you're dyslexic. And he was like, ah, no, I'm not. I'm like, it takes you forever to get through a book, maybe. And you can't spell for shit. All right, that's why I have your mom. Well, okay, but you are. Yeah, no, it's, I mean, thank God for, you know, auto correct and thank God for audible without audible.

I would, I've never read books. Yeah. I like when I get a script, I literally won't be like, never going to get through this in a timely fashion. So I'll say to my agent, I'm like, you read it and you give, because sometimes we disagree on the taste of something or like, and he will, I would just go like, you just tell me and they'd be like, this is good, you should try and read some of it.

And I'm like, great, wonderful. So that's what ends up happening. Nick did the audible for his book. Oh yeah, that took me for fucking. And I think even that, reading my own words. I had to read sentences, I mean, sometimes it would take me 10 minutes to get through a sentence.

Yes. Yeah. It took me two and a half days to read my own book. Oh, much longer from, I had to go back several times. My book was 30 pages. Oh my God. It was more of a, it was a pamphlet. I apologize a lot. I'm like, I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. I do, I do wish there was a, the version of the book where I fucked it up for like an extra 10 hours. Just like, here's what, yeah, that, that would have been nice. I'd just be like, fuck, start over. I did that too. Yeah. Yeah, that would have been nice. I'd just be like, fuck, start over. I did that too, yeah. No, I ultimately think, you know, even though it's not fun and written languages

are not fun for people like us, I mean, I don't think I would have, I don't know, probably not gone into entertainment. So if everything had been, if I could spell, because I ran into the arts, I was like, oh, I'm gonna do this. Because all my friends went to law school and I was like, I can't even imagine reading that much. Sounds ridiculous, I hate it.

So yeah, here I am. I showed all you guys. Really? Yeah, I'm really graceful about my success. You are so humble. Thank you. Well, since you have so much success. You are so humble. Thank you. All right. Well, since you have so much success. Can you read?

I can, yeah. Yeah, that's great. Yeah, that was the one thing I did learn. My wife can read, yeah. She really will. Fast as shit. Yeah, on our first date, I was like, read this. Read it.

Read it out loud. I am a hostage. Yeah. All right, do you wanna give some relationship advice to someone? Yes. Great. How's it going?

I'm good. I'm Jess. I'm 27 and I've been dating someone for about three years. Pass. Get rid of them or her or them, whatever. I've been dating someone for on and off for about three years and he doesn't know what he wants and I don't know if I should move on or wait.

Okay. What do you mean on and off for three years? Are you together now? Well, we weren't living in the same city for the past couple of years, but now we do. So now that we've been in the same city, it got more serious. Do you think he is just trying, like you get serious and then you, now you don't been in the same city, it got more serious. Do you think he is just trying like you get serious and then you now you don't live in the

same city but you still talk and then we live in the same city. Oh, now you do. Now you do. So you did it before and then he used that as an excuse not to be. How long have you wanted to be in a committed relationship with him? Like seriously, the past like eight or nine months since we've like reconnected. Okay. I guess. But we like went to a wedding, his like best friend's wedding together, like back over the winter, I'd like met like half his family.

Okay. He invited you to a wedding. Yeah. In another country for 10 days. Were you boyfriend and girlfriend then? No, we like never have been boyfriend and girlfriend. What did he introduce you as to his family? Is he my friend?

He just said like, this is Jess, my name, like, yeah, no, like label. Like everyone around us like would refer to me like as his girlfriend or like, like go get your boyfriend and I'd be like, he not my boyfriend like we're not dating like I'd be very clear because like he was very clear about like us not dating so I'm like so when was the last time you talked to him about your relationship status um like a week ago and what he's what'd you say and then how did he respond well I was just kind of like, like, what are what's, what are we doing here? Like, we're not really moving forward. We're not really moving anywhere. And he was basically like, I don't know, if I want a relationship like ever. Ever. Yeah.

And I asked him, I was like, what's so unappealing about a relationship? And he said, just having to like prioritize and like think about someone else. Oh my God. I mean, that's an honest answer. You should believe him. Yeah, no, I definitely do. And I just his actions like prove that to be true as well. So you guys have just been friends for three years, nothing. It's been fully platonic the whole time?

No, no. No, they're hooking up. They're playing the roles of boyfriend and girlfriend. And when he wants her to have around or needs a date for a wedding, he's like, hey, what's up? You wanna come to a different country with me? And you usually say, yeah, sure.

And then you pretend to be okay with not being his girlfriend. Yeah, I mean, for a while I was like, okay with the situation, but now it's kinda like, like he's a little bit older than me. How much older? 40 years. Like six or seven years. Okay. How old are you again?

So I'm almost 27. You're 27. Okay, so he's mid-30s. Okay. Yeah. So I'm just kind of like, what are we doing? Either we're going to date or we're not. We're kind of just at that point. He's never gonna, he's never going to come around. Jess, fuck this guy. Fucking dumb, sounds like you're in love with him, which I completely understand. You've been together for three years essentially,

but fuck this guy for not, for introducing you that way to his family. And I was like, here in an intimate relationship with this guy who was like, no, I don't wanna commit. He is committed, but he doesn't want to be. And so that's, yeah, move on from that guy. I don't feel strongly about this at all. You deserve somebody, you're a queen,

and you deserve for somebody to treat you that way. Yes. And not, you don't need a king. No, you need a, to be a peasant. Will, you need to be served as a queen. And you deserve somebody who absolutely loves every part of you and every second you're around. And should, yeah.

It's probably not gonna be fun to break up with him and he'll keep wanting to hook up and stuff, but don't do that. There's somebody out there that's gonna be, that will treat you like the queen that you are. Thank you. Thank you very much. That was beautiful.

See your way out. That was beautiful. I mean, he's right. I would immediately, starting today, stop responding to him. Okay. Are y'all sleeping with other people? No. Is he sleeping with other people?

No. I like know that. Oh, okay. Okay. For sure. You got a ring camera on him, right? Yeah. But listen, the only way he's ever gonna come around is you disappearing on him and stop being so accommodating. Yep.

You're very accommodating. Yeah. And you're accommodating because you're afraid of saying no to him and you're afraid that you'll lose him. No, you'll lose him. But the only way to get him is to actually have him think that he lost you.

And when he comes crawling back, don't make it happen immediately. Make sure you're, yeah, like, look, we're not, we're either doing this or not. Yeah, there's no, let's try this again. It's I wanna be your boyfriend and I'm so sorry. Let's move in together. Yeah.

This guy should be throwing a bag of rings at you next time you see him. Yeah, that's what I was expecting to hear, kind of. Yeah, I would honestly stop, I wouldn't respond to him anymore. Play, you know, just, you don't have to block him. But when he's like, hey, what's up? I wouldn't respond, I would just be busy.

Okay. And if he at some point is like, what the fuck's happening? Why can't we not respond? And be like, look, I've done, I guess be honest, be like, look, this being, I don't wanna continue this way yeah and if you want to do this great I'm in but I have to move on I don't need I can't swim in the brackish waters of whatever

this relationship is called Jess this is the same thing that Nick and I went through and I was like all right I'm done I'm out of here and he was like, all right, I'm done. I'm outta here. And he was like, no, no, wait, please. She started dating other guys. I was dating Nick at the time. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, I won't leave Joel. And now he's like, all right, fine, I'm gonna date other guys. Yeah, and as soon as you were dating other guys,

you, he'd that- Then I left Joel. Nick did his Wile E. Coyote act and the road runner could not have run fast or back to you. Right? Exactly. Truly. Yeah. Exactly. And it, it worked.

It's not going to be fun at first probably, and it's going to be hard and there's going to be tears and no fun, but you know, that's why they invented White Claw. And now you can have alcohol-free White Claw, which is a real thing. Is that just sparkling water? Are they sponsoring you? It's just flavored sparkling water. Yes, it's a, I wish. I'm available White Claw.

Anyway. Okay. You're gonna do great. And there's somebody out there that is going to, you know. Which might be him, but I think you do need to step away and show him that you're not always available, you're not always there when he wants you,

but also when he doesn't want you. He's gotta hear or see you go on a date with other guys and you tell him no. And he's gotta think that you're truly sick of his shit. But the point is, you need to start, you're a single person, that's the reality. You don't have a point is, you need to start, you are, you're a single person. That's the reality. You don't have a boyfriend. And you need to start acting like the single person

that you are. And he needs to see that. And he needs to believe it. When he reaches out to you, right now he absolutely expects you to just jump whenever he reaches out. And he's so used to you being accommodating. And you have to stop that.

Yep. Okay. So. Yeah. And you have to stop that. Yeah. OK. So, yeah. Well, it was his birthday on Saturday and I didn't say anything. And he was like, what the fuck? Yeah. Well, yeah. He, yeah. So what we would like is like progress reports. Yeah. So we'll talk to you next week.

Yeah. And just see talk to you next week. Yeah. And just see how it's going. A week from now. I don't know how we do that, but. No, we'll follow up. Yeah. Yeah. All right, I'd love to know.

Yeah. Okay. Do you think you can do this? Yeah. You don't sound very convincing. Just take that first step. It sounds like you've already almost taken that first step, but once you, you know, it's like, all right,

this river water's real cold. And then once you get in, you're like, ah, it's not so bad. Now it's actually really fun. Yeah. I mean, we're not like really talking at the moment. So it's not gonna be like that much of a step for me, I guess, but.

But you're in love with him and that has to probably just, yeah. it's gonna be a while before you feel You know better Probably yeah, but make those first steps Yes, okay. You just you can't hope yourself into a relationship with this guy. You actually have to yes change something change. Yes They yeah, someone's gonna, someone is gonna come after you. Someone, you'll fall in love with someone who will, yeah, will be pursuing you like, you know, like it's a,

like you are the golden ticket. And like I have met the person I want to spend my life with. You probably can't remember the last time you enjoyed hanging out with him because he did something to make you feel good. Yeah, I have, I have like thought about those kinds of things. Like, do I actually like being around someone who doesn't know if they want to be with me? Yeah, definitely feel great. Yeah. And most of you being with him right now is what you've already invested in or what you hope to change and things like that. So you just gotta shut her down.

You also don't wanna be with someone that you had to convince to be with you. Yes, I've thought about that as well. The only way this guy should be your boyfriend is he begs, literally. I kinda had to beg for Natalie after telling her no. It wasn't pretty, but it worked. Yeah, you're a catch there, Jess. All right.

Thank you. All right, we're gonna follow up with you in a couple weeks and see how you're doing. Okay. All right. Do not respond to him. No, I won't. I've never blocked anyone, but I'm considering it.

Well, only block him because you truly are done. And I actually don't think if you, and I mean like he should be able to reach out to you and you not respond, not because you're mad, just because you have other things going on. You just, you changed course, you know? So like, you don't want him to think that you're doing this to get a reaction.

You want him to think you're doing this because you're just kind of like over it. Because if he thinks you're doing it to get a reaction, he'll just, he'll, he'll wait you out. He'll let you like, he'll tell himself, ah, she's just doing her thing again. Cause you've done this, right? You've, you've asked, who would are what you've done the whole thing. He disappears for a while.

And then you said right now, we're not talking right now, right now. He's just like, oh, she's just, he's letting you get it out of your system. So to speak. Yeah. Yeah. And he'll definitely want to hook up. And so yes, don't don't let him do that. Yeah. Yes. Okay. All right. Understood. You're a catch Jess. Pinky promise you won't respond to him. No I don't think I will. I really don't. Okay. We'll check in with you.

Make sure. Okay. All right. Thanks, Jess. See ya. Thank you. Go on The Bachelorette. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Uh, Joel, this has been really fun, man. This was fun.

I felt bad for that nice woman. She'll be all right. But she'll be okay. She knows what to do. She just needed to hear it from you. Do you have a book you'd like to promote at all? I promote it every episode. It's fun.

I call it Don't Text Your Ex Happy Birthday. Oh, all right. Yeah. That's very good. Thanks. What about your book? Thanks for the money. It came out eight years ago. So, you know, copies are still available.

Never made it to paperback. I think if you go to the street corner, someone's sleeping on it. They rip the pages out and use it for warmth. But more importantly, you got Animal Control out. And Crime Scene Kitchen. Not Pest Control. Pest Control. Pest Control and Trailer of Villains. Control out and crime scene kitchen not pest control pest control Control a trailer of villains. Yeah

Watch traders Shit you're not on that You're on a next-level chef no crime scene kitchen. Yeah, there you go Good person to get to whoever got the person there. He was also in the audience of the roast. Check out the roast. I nailed the sitting in the audience drinking white wine. My son was there with me. I'm like, man, it's fun jokes. OK. Yeah. How was he comfortable?

Or was he like so uncomfortable sitting there with you as they're talking about? She's way cooler than I am. He's like, hmm, good. Was this her 19 year old or 16 year old 16 year old? My 19 year old doesn't like sports. My 16 year old loves football. So is he also a Seahawks fan?

Fuck yeah. Yeah. Who's your team Packers? Where do they play? Green Bay. Okay. Well, I guess I'll take your word for it. Your GM used to work for them. Oh, yeah. Well, John Schneider. Yeah. Okay. He's from Green Bay.

Again, I don't know where you're talking about. I like Wisconsin because it's one of the only states, I mean, it's a crazy place, but the gun laws are crazy weed is legal and there's no helmet law Oh and you can buy fireworks year-round you can you're just like this is crazy place now for you guys. We like it All right. Thanks for having me. Thanks for coming man, and I'll see ya At the next celebrity beef great We're gonna do like a bar a family barbecue your oh, yeah Yeah, your wife is gonna know celebrity beef was the show that I met you on right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah

Yeah, with Ben I won with Ben. Yeah. Yeah, you won. That was good Ben stole my pasta I really wanted to make him a nice. Can I can I cook you dinner? Oh, you can cook the pasta. I'll cook the steaks Okay, but you can do it in my will do it in my house. Okay. And you bring River over, throw her in the pool. Perfect. We'll do that. Isn't that how you teach babies this from anyways? Yep. Just throw them in. That's right. You did a little wake. Alright guys, grasshoppers for everybody. Alright, thanks for listening guys. Don't forget to send in those questions at asknick at the vowel files dot com for all things texting office hours and ask Nick. We'll be back next week with the iconic country singer, Lily Rose, breaking down

all things reality recap. We'll be in New York, at least Nellie and I will be, and you guys will be here. It'll be a lot of fun. And then next week, I'm going deeper. The iconic Laverne Cox is with us, excited to talk with her. Oh, that's going to be a wild episode. We'll see you back on Monday. Bye. Go fuck yourselves.

Ever tried reading while jogging, cooking, or even juggling flaming torches? Yeah, doesn't end well. But with audiobooks.com, you can conquer books without the circus act. Dive into over 450,000 titles, including more than 10,000 free ones. Get hooked on a bestseller. Find your next obsession. Or finally read that classic you've been avoiding since high school. And here's the inside scoop. Sign up today for a free 30-day trial and snag your first

three audiobooks on the house. Sign up for your free trial at audiobooks.com slash podcast free today. That's audiobooks.com slash podcast F R E E.