The Viall Files - E77 Ignoring the Haters with Gabbie Hanna

Episode Date: January 8, 2020

Award-winning YouTube star Gabbie Hanna joins Nick to talk about the dangers of living your life online. But first, Nick talks about going to The Golden Globes. Then, Gabbie opens up about going to therapy, she talks about how she handles being attacked on the internet, and she shares what she’s learned from battling an eating disorder. She’s a “ratvocate!” Be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode! THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS: SHIPSTATION: https://www.shipstation.com CODE: VIALL OPENFIT: Text VIALL to 505050 LUMINESS: http://trysilk.com/viall HIDRATESPARK: https://hidratespark.com CODE: VIALL See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

you're crazy happy wednesday everybody welcome to another episode of vile files three times this week already you think they're sick of us yet i don't think so i hope hope not. January Jones? Are you kidding me? We're pot committed. How are you? I'm good. How are you? I'm great. That's been a great week.

Had a fun weekend. I saw you were at the Golden Globes. Golden Globes was fun. That's crazy. Is that your first time? This is my second time. I went last year. I took Demi as my date.

Wait, how do you get invited to the Golden Globes? Asking for a friend. I've done some work with Dick Clark Productions. And they put on the event. They run the red carpet. And I also did a little hosting bit with E! News this year. Oh, you did? So it was a little bit of both.

But as far as the golden globes itself and the ceremony yeah uh i went as a guest as as dick clark production oh that's a lot of fun and basically hung out in the back room and i mean like yeah it's it's wild like you walk the carpet it didn't you know i don't get starstruck very easily but you see a lot of who was the coolest harvey cattell from reservoir dogs that's such a guy he's a legend right i mean it's i don't even know who that is it's the men it's the men who like you know i don't know how you are uh like if if women you get more star struck with women than men captain america um yeah there i was trying to get demi to hit on him he was like he was with his brother really and um you know just he looks

he looks just as nice in person just like he has a he has a calming energy to him he was like five feet away talking to his brother hanging out looking super friendly yeah i mean he's like that's chris evans i'm like i'll say hi he's with his brother if a guy brings his brother he's couldn't be more single you think what do you mean i think he might be hanging out with women he might be talking to someone but he's definitely not committed to anyone and you don't think maybe his brother just really wanted to go he's been captain america for a while now you know what i'm saying this is not like hey i just i just made it big my first big break and i'm gonna bring my brother as a yeah he you know i so anyways she she chickened out she did yeah she didn't say do

you think she had a good time though she had a great time and then uh kate mckinnon from snl her and her sister came up turns out big bachelor fans wait really she was very sweet uh like the nicest person in the world so that was just kind of fun to hang out and i had a really good time that's awesome yeah and uh when i was done i used my hydrate spark oh did you uh i needed a hydrate after a long day of a little bit of hosting and a lot of entertaining myself. We have our Hydrate Spark 3 bottles here. It's amazing because I never really know how much water to drink or when I should drink. And I personally find drinking enough water to be one of the most mentally and physical

taxing experiences of my life. I don't know why, but yes, you've said that before. So I believe. It truly is. I guarantee you people who are listening can relate. Nick and I, we both downloaded the Hydrate Spark app to our phone. Really easy. You sync it up.

Yeah, we're going to make our bottles glow. This is the best part. They glow when you need to drink more water. Look! It's so cool. Oh, there it is. Yours glows green. Mine you can see i have the sun it's the sun's kind of blocking it yeah anyways um if you are someone uh who does forget to drink enough water and drink enough water is one of the simplest i know it's not simple for me uh in

terms of just being healthier yeah it's better for your skin it's not simple for me, in terms of just being healthier. Yeah. It's better for your skin. It's better for your internal organs. It's something that should be so easy and it's so healthy to do, but yet we never do enough of. But Hydrate Spark, can't talk today, makes it easier. Yeah. And it's like kind of a fun and fashionable way to do it also. You're not carrying around like a gallon jug all day.

I know. Trust me, you are going to love the Hydrate Spark 3 Smart Water Bottle 2. And right now you can get 20% off your first order, but only if you use our discount code V-I-A-L-L at checkout. It's spelled with an I. So that's H-I-D-R-A-T-E spark.com and use the discount code V-I-A-L-L at checkout for our special offer. I also use my OpenFit over the holidays.

You used it over the holidays? When you were home? When I was home, you know? In Wisconsin? In Wisconsin. I went to the gym a couple times, but a couple times like during Christmas, everything kind of shuts down.

Totally. Busted out the OpenFit. Nice. Did some yoga with mom. Aw. You know? And we checked it out. Does we we checked it out my mom does yoga every morning i believe it she looks good oh every morning she does yoga every morning oh my god uh so i did a little yoga with mom and we checked out open fit took some uh took some classes over the holidays i mean it couldn't have been more convenient and that's what i love about it it kind of travels with you because it's on your phone. Yeah. And you can lose up to 15 pounds in just 30 days.

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Great episode today. Gabby Hanna joins us today. What a talented individual. Yeah, she's a huge YouTube star. Huge YouTube star, but she's also a singer, an actor, a writer. She's doing it all. She's been around for a while. She has some great stories and great life lessons.

Anyways, I just enjoyed the conversation with her, and I think you will too. So stick around. And as always, thanks for listening. Don't forget to send in your questions to asknickatcastmedia.com. That's cast with a K. Give us five stars if you want. Thanks for listening to us three times this week.

We'll see how it goes. Up next, Gabby Hanna. Gabby Hanna, how are you? I'm good. How are you? I'm great. Thanks for coming on. I'm good how are you I'm great thanks for coming on I'm very happy um the first time I knew you existed was at the streamies last year cool

and you won congratulations by the way and you won for storytelling and then I started you know looking you up and I like a good storyteller and uh you were kind of always on my radar, so to speak, from that point on. So I appreciate you finally having an opportunity to come and get to know you a little bit more. Yeah, so for those of you who don't know you, share with people a little bit about all the things you are doing because it is quite a lot.

I mean, it's- It's messy. Is it messy? Yes, it's too many things sometimes i think but um i started off doing internet stuff like vine and youtube now my focus is um i write poetry books i do music and i just started a podcast so i just kind of congratulations by the way thank you congratulations to you on this podcast thank you um everyone says congratulations um when you won for storytelling last year that was like on your youtube channel

um what what about that did you i i only asked because storytelling is so it's a lost art these days i love it i you don't no i do i really do um and really good storytelling is interesting a podcast is a version of storytelling you mean it's a lost art you don't think so i feel like there's more than ever more with all the digital services there's more tv shows that's why i think it's a lost art in a sense of like good storytelling a real storytelling not just like talking okay you know hey guys you know yeah uh what made you good at you know storytelling and how did you kind of, why did you win that award? I guess I'm curious. Dramatic by nature, I think.

No, I just, the way I came up on the internet was just sharing a lot of my personal life and telling stories. And I always say that my, everyone's like, how do you live this life? Like, how can so many crazy things happen to you? Because I think I'm making it up. And I'm like, well, I'm not making it up.

It all happens. It's just, I see life through a lens of stories and other people don't. So like, I did a whole story about this experience I had trying to cancel a gym membership. And the woman gave me a hard time, which is something a million people have experienced. That's a very relatable the gym membership cancel project is so that's something that's not unique to me. But the way I tell it is a story oh a gym membership can you imagine a whole movie about a horror film right or just like the whole like there's i'm sure a bunch of other like b storylines going on but the general premise is how they can you know like they fall in love along the way i don't know there's some drama yeah and like she

has all this stuff that's going on behind the scenes that makes her not want to cancel the gym membership yeah but they could probably make a whole movie out of that so that was a big episode for you that's an example so you see that you know people as you say everyone goes through everyone a lot of people have been through the gym membership cancellation yeah you romanticize it i romanticize it and i get very worked up over it and i want to talk about it so like this cut type of story where you'd go home and tell like your girlfriend or your best friend, like, dude, I tried to cancel this membership today and it was so fucking annoying. I just did that to a camera. So you, when you say you get worked up, you, you would describe yourself as an emotional person. Clearly. I don't know you that

well. You've only known me for 10 minutes and but I feel like you can tell me. So you are a very emotional person. Yes. And do you like that you're an emotional person? I do now that I know how to hone it and put it where it belongs. I used to be a very emotionally reactive person. So like in relationships with like either friends, family, men, whatever it would be,

I felt like I needed to react right away. But now I'm 28 years old and know how to like reel it in and communicate effectively. What do you mean by you feel like you needed to react? Like, right? Like, would you just you you felt when you say you feel like you need to like, did you feel like you had the ability to control it and you needed to or it just, that's just what happened. And then you would kind of take a step back and go, okay, kind of reacted. I just am somebody who likes to resolve things right away,

or at least I used to be. So like if I was having an issue with say a boyfriend, I would be like, okay, well, that really hurt my feelings. I wanna talk about this right now. Like, why can't we fix this right now? And then the guy would be like, because I just like need a minute to think.

And I'm like, well, what do you mean? Like, can't we think about it right now? So it caused a lot of chaos. Well, I'm not. Nick's like that. I like to fix things right now for sure. But I'm not, I'm not emotional. I'm sensitive, but I'm not emotional, especially in relationships with fights.

I'm more the, all right, let's talk about it. That's very rare in a man it's a lot you think so i think i find i find my my significant others have found it annoying because i have really i've dated uh highly emotional women can i say that no you can't i don't think emotional is a negative trait i i yeah i don't think so either but sometimes i just don't really know yeah i think it's when you learn how to like hone your emotions so now instead of reacting right away i take a step back i like kind of put a pin in it and i say let's talk about this in a minute but then i can also put it into like music or writing or art so it's better to have an outlet i find when you were more emotionally triggered at first were you ever mean um i don't know if mean is the

word like i'd never try to hurt people to hurt people but probably in the process people get hurt you know what i mean yeah but it's not like i'm somebody who if you hurt my feelings i'm going to try to say something vile to you to hurt you. Yeah, not manipulatively, but more, yeah, like, because sometimes we accidentally hurt our partners, because we are feeling, we feel hurt. And then like that reaction is to, it's not the intention to hurt them, but it's a defense mechanism.

I would say when I was younger, for sure, but you just gotta go to a lot of say when I was younger, for sure. But you just gotta go to a lot of therapy. How did you, like, so through your art and through the things that you're doing, was it like an awareness that you had? No, I think it was more so therapy. You went to therapy, okay. Oh, yeah.

You're big into mental health. For sure. I think that therapy is so important for everybody, regardless of if you, I think honestly, everybody should have to go to therapy, even if you feel like you're mentally sound, because there's just things that you can figure out about yourself that you can't figure out in a day to day. It's never been. Well, that's not true. I mean, on the bachelor, you have to. It doesn't count i will say she did say to me that some people aren't good

with therapy and i think you'll get a kick out of this rochelle uh and she didn't say i wouldn't be good with it but she suggested i might not be because i'm an over thinker and sometimes i would almost like i mean i enjoy talking to her, right? In a sense of like, I could just keep talking and like rethinking it. But what's wrong with that? Because you never get to a place where you like, You need a better therapist.

You never get to a conclusion. You just like overanalyze and overanalyze and overanalyze and go back for more and more. But I think that's kind of the point of therapy is especially if you're an overthinker, it means that you have so many thoughts going in your head at once and you're looking at so many different situations and how they could play out. But if you're talking to the right therapist who can kind of pull you back and say, well, why do you feel

that way? What brought you to that? What situation blah, blah, blah, blah. And then you can pull back all of the layers and the directions that your brain are going and then go to the one that actually matters is what I found. I'm a big supporter and advocate. Yeah. I think. I feel like you should do meditation

to distance yourself from that. Have you tried? Overthinkers cannot meditate. Oh, really? I don't think so. I've tried. I've struggled. You tried meditation?

Yeah. I don't know if I've ever made a real attempt. I've done yoga a few times, like the end of class, you know, things like that. A couple of times I've been in group settings where they brought in like a hypnotist and I've tried. No. I've been in group settings where they brought in like a hypnotist and I've tried no like I just can't get to a place where I my mind's never not just clicking are you very anxious person yeah yeah and you never wanted to try therapy I'm not that I haven't wanted to try it I just

don't think it's for you when I know well uh Vanessa and I my last relationship we did couples therapy at the end of our relationship and I no I enjoyed that like I'm I've never like felt like I was like in a dark place or I felt like I needed to like

on my own well that's not true I probably felt like I needed to I just haven't done it I was just saying wait I just I just haven't I haven't

I haven't actually done it but i did enjoy the couples therapy i did you have to be ready to go or it's not going to help you like you can't have somebody force you to go to therapy and then it really do much for you because if you're not in the mental place to be open to the experience then the whole time you're going to be sitting there saying this isn't for me how old were you when you first went? 23 or 24, maybe, I think. What made you, what was the event or the experience that made you go, you know, I'm just going to go talk to somebody? Well, my anxiety was so bad to the point where I was like afraid to sleep at night because

I was imagining people like breaking in. Well, my apartment was also very not safe. But there was just so much anxiety and anxious thoughts at all times. And then I felt like I was getting so angry all the time. And I don't like being an angry person. And I didn't want to feel that anger. And then I was in a scandal. That was five years ago, every year, November. And I was being accused of like stealing jokes. And then like all of Reddit was attacking me, calling me a joke thief and then with that comes your fat, your ugly,

like just terrible things coming at me all the time. So I was just like, okay, I'm angry, I'm depressed. My world is collapsing around me. I'm very anxious. I should go to therapy. Okay. Yeah. Steal it.

You know, Rashaan and I were talking about something similar last night and I don't know the, I don't, I'm not familiar with the story of you being accused of being a joke thief. But we were, Rochelle and I were talking about people, you know, a lot of, on the internet, you see a lot of quotes. You know, a lot of. Yes. And I do this kind of questions with Nick. And I have these sayings.

And I just kind of come up with them. And sometimes I get credit for, like, oh, that was really original. That was really neat but i and and you hear about people being accused of like stealing quotes or stealing jokes and i was just like the truth is the things i'm saying can't be that original and i'm pretty sure out there someone's probably said it in a different way slightly different you might have like put like a different word in there but like we're kind of at that point where everything's been said any real thought that original yeah and you know jokes even jokes like it's probably been said or documented in a slightly different way so if if you tell a joke and you were determined which i'm sure maybe some people on internet might be to prove you wrong or prove that you did

something yeah well in that situation it was and i actually did learn a lot from it because the main joke that i was accused of stealing i immediately was like oh my god i've heard that before but it was one of those instances of i heard it because i have i had a stand-up on pandora playing on shuffle at all times yes so then when i was doing a youtube video i just like said something that had been said and And then when I saw it, I was like, oh, my God, like, yeah, for sure. Totally have heard that, like whatever, admitted it. But then they went through my years of tweets and years of YouTube videos and hundreds of hours of footage to put like six examples that were so far fetched. Like Bo Burnham tweeted something in 2012. And then in 2015, I tweeted something similar.

Or like Mitch Hedberg made a joke 20 years ago. And then like a couple of years ago, I said something similar. So when you put them back to back to back to back to back, yeah, I look like a joke thief. But years later, I found out the kid who did the video was a guy who I went to junior high with who like, yeah. And like after that had been like tweeting at me being like hey when are you coming home like uh yeah there's so there was some type of weird vendetta behind it yeah i'm

like who has time to go through every one of your tweets they really dug but at the end of the day i honestly did learn so much from that i became a better writer because of it i was way more careful with my content and i like check and double check and triple check to make sure that it's an original thought. So it made me better. Even if you're just talking to the camera, like that's technically stealing. Yeah, I was curious about that. If you are, if you tweet something or go on camera and just like you said, you've heard a joke, you know, you watch some comedy show and then you're telling a story and you kind of loosely repeat the joke do you have to like credit them even if in that moment you're not even thinking about that like we've all we've

all done that we've all like referenced indirectly yeah i can't think of anything on the top of my head but like the type of joke that you know we hear i don't know it kind of depends what lens people are looking at you through. So when I was coming up on Vine and YouTube, people were labeling me as like a wannabe comedian, which is something I've never labeled myself as comedian because I don't. Well, I just am not and was not. not um so when they're looking at these like young kids who are gaining all these followers and you know making money off of doing this there's a type of uh microscope they're looking at you because a lot of people think that people who come up on the internet are undeserving so it's basically like oh look at this girl making this money stealing jokes from the greats

but also if i was stealing jokes you think i'm gonna steal a joke from louis c fucking k you know what i mean like as if i'm not but as if i i'm gonna get caught i'm not gonna get caught like it obviously wasn't a conscious effort because if i was gonna steal a joke it'd be from a very unpopular source that would be hard to track i'm not gonna steal one of the most famous jokes of all time yeah yeah i've definitely referenced his miracle flight before oh Oh, I've, that's so funny, dude. So have I for sure. What's that?

He, he had a great bit about, you know, how we complain about things. I think about that every time I'm on a plane where the guy is like, you know, we're on a plane, always bitching.

He's like, do you, do you not realize what you're doing in this moment? You're on a chair in the sky. I mean, it's a great joke. It's really chair in the sky i mean it's still a good joke it's a great joke it's really funny in the way he delivers it but i've definitely like joked about that right and i'm sure i might i probably referenced it but i haven't always been like oh well don't don't i guess i wouldn't go on the internet yeah and i wouldn't either i just like i was doing something

about thanksgiving or something and like talked about Columbus and then did his Columbus bit where I was like, Hey, like they're not Indians because this was never India, but why do we still call them Indians was the gist of it. It's a pretty common thought. It's a common thought, but the way I delivered it was pretty much how he delivered it.

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with shipstation.com just use my code v-i-a-l-l to get a 60-day free trial that's two months free of no hassle stress-free shipping just visit shipstation.com Click on the microphone on the top of the page and type in V-I-A-L-L. That's ShipStation.com. Enter code V-I-A-L-L. ShipStation. Make ship happen. So you got your start on Vine. You're heavily involved in YouTube. You're heavily involved in the internet, as you've kind of loosely talked about. You kind of put yourself out there, potentially open for criticism. And we kind of live in this world, whether you are an influencer or you have a following or you're just, you know, Joe from Nebraska or Pam from Arkansas. We have this kind of overshare culture where like even the average person feels the need to kind of put their life on display. Yeah.

Do you, how do you feel about, I mean, you've really put your life out there. And I think that's what a lot of influencers have done. Sometimes they do get criticized for it fairly or unfairly. What have you learned from that? Or what's your thought process on that? And do you get, do you think there's benefits from it? And do you think you have things you have to like deal with or negatives that come from being a part of that world?

If I could redo everything the way I did it, I think that I would share less. Because when you put yourself so far out there, like you almost lose touch with how many people are actually watching, if that makes sense. Because like I see a number on a screen and it's like this lose touch with how many people are actually watching if that makes sense because like i see a number on a screen and it's like this many million or whatever it is and that's a number and i know it's good because statistically people say if you have this many views blah blah but then you have the realization of oh that many million people are criticizing my life and deciding on my life and then you also just put yourself up for like when you think about a

traditional celebrity like um who angelina jolie like nobody's really criticizing her personal life that much like they criticize maybe her are you kidding i don't know was that the worst the jennifer aniston saga okay that is true that is true i think it was just i think it was different um before social media really took off i mean but i mean like emma stone i'm thinking about her she's not on instagram no one really she's getting married no one even knows that's a better example yeah it's like somebody like emma stone who just like you love her work you love her acting you love her because she is like talented yeah people find me because they know my personal story and they're invested

in my personal story so then're invested in my personal story so then that leaves your personal story up for criticism people judge you for your character not for your work and then it's a just it leaves you open to a lot of what's the word i'm looking for leaves you just like speculation i guess like people speculate on your life and they feel that they know you personally because of what you've put out but they don't know a portion there is that yeah i mean i guess an angelina jolie or an emma stone or a brad pitt back like the celebrity back in the day was there was a level of mystery you know it was it was more in vogue to not do as many interviews or kind of have keep a distance that like that was the old like in old hollywood like the playbook of really kind of keeping

yourself at a distance in this kind of mystery of the celebrity and now it's different even now like your a-listers are they have social accounts that you're it. It's a different playbook, so to speak. But to that point, there is that stress level of people feeling like they know you and living up to those expectations. How much of that do you think changed how you lived your personal life on a day-to-day basis of like, there was ever a point where you felt like I'm doing what Gabby wants to do or I'm doing what I think my followers or my listeners or my fans want me to do. It's changed a lot within the last year, I would say, where I used to really base my life around the Internet because the Internet is not only my bread and butter, but it's also my life because I've made my life into my career. So it was this thing where I was always, even when I was off, I was working because I'm always

keeping an eye out for, you know, content or I should be posting or if an exciting thing was happening, I'm like, oh, I should film this so I can talk about it later. And it was this really kind of sick, twisted world of like the Truman Show where I never was actually living. kind of sick, twisted world of like the Truman Show where I never was actually living. Yeah. I mean, I truly can't understand because, you know, I have a following and to a little point, to a little bit, I do that, but I can't keep up. I get anxiety. It's just like, I don't want to do this. And when I do that, I feel like I'm not being present in the moment. And I have a hard enough time being present in general yeah um i couldn't imagine uh feeling the pressure of constantly putting out the content that kind

of necessitates a very popular youtube page and well i did pull back the anxiety with that i had to stop i think that the biggest thing the catalyst that made me stop was i don't know if you guys saw but i was a meme i fulfilled my lifelong dream really being a meme no don't you can't talk about it we're totally gonna look it up you can look it up later just don't basically um i did a genius interview that was for my song monster and i have a scream note in it where it's just like a very high like belty note. Yeah. And everybody, when I put out the song was like, this is cool, but this song,

that clearly isn't her singing that note. She can't sing that note, like whatever. So when I did the genius interview, I was like, if I do this falsetto or don't sing it full, people are going to say that I can't do it. So when I did it, I asked the guys, I was like, let me know if I'm peaking the audio. Let me know if it's too loud, whatever.

Never said it was too loud. Didn't say I was peaking. But then when they cut the interview together, they cut the mics between the camera mic and the boom mic. So like I'm singing in the boom mic. And then when I do the high note, they cut it to the camera mic because I peaked the boom. So they did this like weird cut in the middle of the audio that made it sound very silly.

Yes. But then that was just a meme. And it started as like, I was mocking you. They were making fun of me, but they would like replace the high note with like a goat screaming or like a phone alarm. So it was funny. Exactly. But then from that, because I was like, I became viral and clickable.

Now that's when people are coming in saying I'm a scam artist. I'm bullying my fans just because my face was now garnering clicks. So that time was like really painful. And people were judging my character and saying that things that just like simply weren't true about me. And you can't really defend yourself. Because once people decide that you're manipulative or a scam artist, like no matter what you say, it's just a part of manipulation and a part of scamming. So I just had to like kind of back off, couldn't look at the YouTube, couldn't open the internet, couldn't look at Twitter, couldn't look at Instagram. And through that found myself again, because I was forced

to detach from the internet. And then I started focusing more on like my music and my art. And now I live my life pretty much offline except I post my weekly videos which is just work but I'm not like filming my every move showing my every moment you know what I mean yeah that's that's impressive it must be hard to manage that whatever you know what I mean I don't know it used to be but like you know it happens so often that it's just like, who cares at this point? But you just don't respond. You said you tried to respond and then everyone. I've responded in the past.

But like, no matter how sincere or genuine you are, once people decide, like I said, you're manipulative or you're calculated, like, OK, you can't you can't cry because you're playing the victim. If you're sad, you can't show that you're sad because you're trying to garner sympathy points. If you're defensive and try to defend yourself, you're defending yourself because you did something wrong. And if you didn't do anything wrong, why are you so defensive? On the internet, you mean?

Yeah. If you're like stoic and you're just trying to be flat and matter of fact, you're sociopath. Yeah. So there's no way to respond where people aren't going to pick you apart. Like there's videos where people are saying, look at her posture. Like she's hunching. And that means that she's, you know, enclosed and like, look at her eyes. Did you know, she looked to the left.

That means she's lying. Look at her hand. She's trying to get you to believe her. Did you notice when she said this, that she leaned forward? That means she's trying to say like, come here and listen. It's like insane the way people pick apart everything. I mean, i've always said i mean like to not have the like the youtube level of kind of documenting your life but

a lot of my peers you know the you know the internet will say something and it's hard not to want to reply or respond yeah and i'm i'm certainly have done it i try not to because i generally will say like the the only right response to the internet is no response exactly well you know justin timberlake released that thing on instagram yes because yeah there was a video where he was holding hands yeah i saw that but i would never have seen the video if he hadn't posted that thing because that's what i saw i think i saw things about it oh you saw i saw about it but you're right he brought more awareness to it by putting it out there. But it was a good, I mean, for those of you who don't know,

like a couple of weeks ago, Justin Timberlake was seen holding hands with his co-star of a movie he's filming. Certainly led to a lot of speculation. And then he put out this very thoughtful press release, kind of acknowledging that it's not what it seemed, but certainly wasn't okay. Yeah. But then all the comments on that were like,

really, I was looking on it and it's so mean. Oh, you did, yeah. Yeah. So it's like, was it good he said something? That situation's hard because- The no win situation. I think that personal situations should be left personal and private

and I don't think anything should be made public that was between two people. However, that moment was captured publicly. So that's kind of a gray area where I'm like, well, this was public in the first place. So is it something that you can't address publicly? But as far as like, if she had found out that he was cheating one on one, do I think she should have brought that public? I don't really know. I just think that there's this boundary that's crossed when you're in the public eye where people do feel like they're entitled to every explanation in every chunk of your life when

that's not how normal people work. If you were to cheat on your partner, are you supposed to go into his place of work and apologize to everybody for cheating? Do you know what I mean? Like, there's just like this barrier that's been crossed where I don't understand why you're entitled to so much of our personal. But I do think, I think it is relative. And we've talked about this before. I don't think it matters if you have 4 million followers, if you have 500. When I go home to Wisconsin, my friends got married a couple years ago and there was wedding drama, right?

And on Facebook, there was this whole back and forth and people talking and writing paragraphs and it was all over their friend group on Facebook. And that's, I feel like where people people whether you're an influence or not are starting to go and kind of put it out there and like live this almost i don't want to say influence your life but they are you know and it's always like sometimes these cryptic ones hey guys you know i just want to say for all the real friends out there you know it's always like sub tweets yeah like these cryptic things and like and again this is a group of 12 friends everyone fucking knows what we're talking about but they'll put it all over their instagram and all over their

facebook and we all but years ago we would look at that and i remember we would see people doing like family drama and friend drama on facebook and we would all be like hey that's like kind of trashy yeah like don't like keep it to. Why are you posting about like your baby's father? Right. On Instagram, on Facebook? Why are you talking about your best friend from high school so negatively on Facebook? Keep it to yourself. But now we're like you said, approaching this realm of everybody does it and I still don't like it. I think that you should respect people's space. So do you have you learned on your if it sounds like you have, but your own content you put out there,

do you feel like you've made mistakes with oversharing where you look back and be, you know, like a responsibility out there to be kind of a role model for your fans and people go out there of saying, you know, and I need to, I have to put the pause button on here because maybe that's an overshare. Yes. I, my line with oversharing, because I've kind of crossed the line with my own personal life where the only thing I won't really overshare about anymore is my mental health, because I've learned that that is the one thing that I am not willing to have up for speculation anymore, where I would like open up about like my depression or like PTSD. And then are just like you're faking and I just I can't handle that but my hard line

with oversharing is if it involves somebody else so I would rather know even if somebody's attacking me and coming for me like I'm not going to respond to that and like drag somebody else because they did it to me because then you're no better than that person so if it involves someone else it will drag their family into it whatever it is keep it to yourself i'd rather like take a few punches and you know take hits then hit back you posted something nick i thought was interesting on your instagram some girl had said it was like her one year anniversary meeting you and then you reposted it. You covered her face. Yeah, I covered her identity.

Her one year anniversary of wedding you? It was a fan who took a photo with me like a year ago. And you know, like Instagram or Facebook does this like one year anniversary moments of your life and it must have come up on her phone and it was a picture with me.

And she says happy anniversary up on her phone. It was a picture of, of with me. And she says, happy anniversary. She tagged me. And it was like something like great to meet you. You big douchebag or something like that. Yeah. Okay. And I,

you know, you can know, you can like share to your story if you get tagged. Wait, she tagged you in that? How else would I have found it? That's so mean. Wait, she was being mean?

Yeah, she was being mean. And then he reposted it. Oh, so she meant it when she said you're a douchebag. Yeah. I don't know. Well, why did she take a picture with you if you're a douchebag? Who knows? Were you a douchebag to her in person?

I don't think so. But I mean, I have at times, you know, I can be aloof or whatever. You know how sometimes people come up to you and like, oh my God, can I take a picture? And you're sometimes caught off guard and you're not like in that moment. Oh, I don't want to annoy you. And then you're like, okay. And you never really know. I don't think so.

But, you know, I'm sure, you know, I don't bet a thousand. To your defense, I think people don't often recognize the nature of a parasocial relationship where they feel like they know you. defense um i think people don't often recognize the nature of a parasocial relationship where they feel like they know you and when they come up to you they're excited because they know you and they're a fan of you but to you they are a stranger so you can't a hundred percent of your time be like you know you're say you're out at a bar and you're like just like kind of drunk with your friends and some girl walks up to you like are you now entitled or like obligated to be like oh my god i'm so excited to see you as well i'm actually reading this new book by malcolm gladwell called talking strangers it's fascinating about how

we interpret other people's reactions but anyways so i re-shared it not and i covered her identity you know i wasn't trying to get her but you still gave an energy i did give an energy and you're you know and you could debate whether that was uh and I actually thought about that in the moment I mean I had a caption which was and it was my thought was to kind of give people perspective which was and I and it was a snarky little comment said you know sometimes people will get you know it'll affect you and it like I'll admit I saw it I was like you think to yourself was I a dick oh man i hope like fuck you know like or that sucks i took a picture of someone at the meantime you know and you kind of feel like maybe they hate you from the beginning and they took a picture just to like use it to troll you who knows right but i i'll admit

it like it got in my head for a moment and then i said something like just remember no matter what you do some people can't get enough hugs like in the sense of like you don't really okay that's a lot but like who like this person decided to put on her internet and hard not to respond and it's in it you know but i mean that like who knows if she got it like sometimes you don't really know what other people are going through, why they react, why she felt the need to put it out there. I didn't meet her expectations, whatever that was, right? Like whether I actually was a douchebag or a dick or I simply just didn't meet her expectations. And she decided to put it out there.

And then I decided to react. And it was more, yeah, it was kind of petty and snarky. But at the same time, maybe I don't know what she's going through. And younger me might have spent, maybe not from an internet situation, but if I felt like I did something that I didn't understand how I did that, it would have felt like I'll spend a whole day thinking about it and ruminating about it. And then I've gotten to the point in my life where I've realized I don't know what's going on in their life. I don't know what's happened to them, if they had a good day or a bad day or a good year or a bad year.

So maybe they just need a hug and I'm gonna stop worrying about it. What was the fallout of that post? Did anything happen? I don't know. I mean, I blocked her identity. It's not like no one knew. I blocked her face and I blocked her Instagram.

If you hadn't, that would have been bad. some people do don't block yeah that was my mistake where i honestly did something pretty similar this is where my whole i bully fan sings comes but this is just one of the situations of there's like a very small portion of the story that was given and i never responded to it because i was just like what's the point because people already decided your certain way but this was when i was like really struggling with my eating disorder because I was like shooting a music video and I'd like starved myself for two weeks and this girl was commenting all this stuff about how um I put out a negative body like I also talk about like body positivity and health and like I do a lot of like training and fitness stuff so I'm really um into promoting

a healthy body image so at this certain time i was struggling by myself as well but not talking about it and she was commenting on these pictures saying how i am promoting anorexia and how i pretend to promote body image but like it's clear from how flat my ass is that i was like starving myself and just like terrible comments so then my fans are in the comments, responding to her being like, yo, like back off. So then she's messaging commenting over and over and over saying like, she's so fake, like, she pretends to care, but like, I'm trying to DM her and she won't even answer. She doesn't care about her fans, whatever. So I'm like, okay, let me DM this girl because she's clearly like, hurting, whatever. So then I DM her. And I was basically saying like, you know, why do you

feel the need to do this and she said well it's just my opinion like I'm not hating it's just my opinion so then I tried to explain to her I was like you're entitled to your opinion and nobody's going to try to take your freedom of speech away from you but you can't hide behind the fact that it's your opinion and pretend like it's not hate you can walk up to somebody and say you're the ugliest person I've ever seen in my life and that's your opinion you're entitled to it are you going to pretend like it's not hateful are you going to hide behind the fact that it's your opinion some yeah but sometimes people also just want to be acknowledged too i mean yeah we asked for a fallout there wasn't

much fallout she did because i shared it and actually i didn't make the mistake in the first minute because what i you know for the lesson learned that i learned there when you put it to your profile is there's a link to their profile even if so i after a minute someone let me know say hey just so you know you can because like it was obvious that i was trying to not show her identity because i covered the the face and so i deleted it screenshot that so then there was no link and then put it back up all covered yeah so just so you know but anyways at that point now she could she saw that i saw that and she actually wrote back something like oh my god i love you just kidding which is kind of like it's

always it's always that we're just like yeah yeah probably not but now that you're you feel bad and whatever but again you just kind of want to be acknowledged yeah um eating disorders segways i mean i don't uh have a lot of experience with that i know my sister i don't know if she's had maria who's now a holistic nutritionist when she was younger i don't know if she actually was had an eating disorder but she to her own admission had unhealthy eating habits um and i'm sure there's various degrees. Is that something you still struggle with in terms of eating disorders? I wouldn't say so.

I think it's one of those things that if you're feeling bad about yourself, it might creep up and then there might be some disordered eating. But I was at a place where I was like, I was having trouble forcing myself to swallow food. Like I would try to eat and like spit it back out. And I would do that like- Yeah. So it it was pretty bad but like i was also not losing weight

at all because like i don't know the fucking science of it but like if you put something in your mouth and your insulin spikes and then you're have all this extra insulin i don't fucking know but basically i was like eating things and spitting it out but then my body wasn't getting the nutrition it needed so i'm like holding more weight to my body. You were chewing, you were putting in your mouth. There was a guy on a bachelor season, and I won't say who, but he would eat bread. He would chew bread and spit it out.

It's a form of bulimia because bulimia is just binging and purging. So I would like binge but purge it. But he wouldn't swallow, he would like chew it and then spit it out. It's a form of bulimia. Yeah, because you're purging doesn't have to be throwing up purging can be like you eat a bunch and then you're like purging by running on the treadmill for five hours straight every day or it could be

you're binging by putting in your mouth and chewing it up and then spitting it back out so that was kind of my form of it where it like literally like fucked up my teeth fucked up my body fucked up my metabolism how long did you struggle with that? Probably like right after college, during college, so like 2013 until like last year. Oh my gosh. Well, I mean, good for you for finally being able to. Yeah, I know. What are some takeaways for the people who are listening

who could be struggling with that right now to like help them identify for themselves that maybe they need some help? First of all, just know that whatever you're doing, whatever eating disorder that you have is not helping you be healthy or lose weight. Like I struggled with it for so long because I was really holding weight because my body was in starvation mode and because I wasn't getting the proper nutrition I needed. And when I started eating more, I like doubled my calories a day. I started shredding weight. Interesting. Well, yes, that's, that's your body. You're if, when you eat,

it reminds your metabolism, metabolism, it needs to work. And when you starve yourself, it tells your metabolism, well, I guess we can take a vacation and fix your body. When you had the eating disorder, were you aware that you had a problem and didn't care thinking it was going, it was going to help. And then a problem and didn't care thinking it was going, it was going to help. And then you're realizing it didn't, you know, does that make sense? No, you could not tell me that I had a problem. You didn't think, okay. So you weren't aware. My therapist tried to tell me where he, he recommended an eating disorder specialist. I was like, I don't have an eating disorder. And then he was trying to like, cause therapists, their job

isn't really to be like, this is your problem, how to fix it. They try to steer you in the direction. So he was trying to steer me in that way. And I was just like, no, you're wrong. Like what I'm doing is working. And he was like, well, is it because you're here? Well, so I guess to that point, were there things looking back now, kind of being in denial that you could say, you know what? That was a red flag to myself.

That was another red flag. What made you kind of admit it to yourself? I think the thing to look out for is, is your weight and eating something that is consuming a very large portion of your headspace. You're putting a lot of energy into what you were eating and how you were looking. Yeah. I had a very unhealthy relationship with diet food um and body image in general and my goal was to be skinny and look good and then once i shifted my brain and my mindset to okay i need to be healthy first and then once you're healthy everything will come as a byproduct that was the thing that i i just needed that mental switch of i am so unhealthy

right now i am so unhappy. My skin is breaking out. I have no energy. I hate the way I feel and I hate the way I look. So let's start from the inside and work out. And then when you got to that realization, what was the kind of the first steps in terms of getting the help that you needed? I am fortunate enough that I was in a position where I challenged myself to put out a project like an

eight week video project where I said, I'm going to do a full body transformation. I'm going to see what I can do in eight weeks. And I found a trainer to help. But I know a lot of people aren't in the position where they can do that. But what I learned from it is I had these expectations for myself where if I didn't see results in like eight weeks, that there was an issue. So it started with like, I want to do a month transformation. And he said, let's try eight weeks. And then we did eight weeks. And he was like, I really think you should give us at least 12. And then after 12 weeks, I was like, let's keep going. And it ended up being a year long project in a video where I showed a year's transformation of ups and downs and weight gains and weight loss and like breakdowns and feeling like it's time to give up and injuries. And then finally, a year later, my body was in a place where it was, it was, it was its own entity. And I didn't

have to keep working at it. Does that make sense? And now it's like three years and my body's at a place where like, I had a knee injury, and I couldn't work out for a month. And I was kind of struggling with the fact that I couldn't work out and I could see the weight gain. And I'm still trying to like get my body back where it was, but I'm not having panic attacks about it. I'm not like in my head. I know that it'll be okay. And I don't put so much self-worth on the way my ass looks anymore. But like give me another month and it'll look great.

Like it won't ruin my life? I mean, I don't get it. And you, I mean, I've,'ve i've i think i might follow you on instagram but i've certainly looked at your instagram but you you you talk a lot about body positivity and you kind of put your body out there on your instagram but not in a necessarily seductive way but in a empowering sort of way is that something you know that's something i notice is that deliberate that you do in terms of helping? Do you do it for yourself? Do you do it for your fans? Do you do it for both? Both. I would say that it's just,

I like to do it because I'm so proud of what I've done with my body. And I've kind of known it within the like six years that I've been on the internet. Like I've been called like fat for the first three, you know what I mean? And people judging my body and saying I'm disgusting and sloppy. And like, so I'm proud of what I've done, but I know that there's a lot of people out there who have watched me since then, who've watched me transform. And like, those are the stories that excite me the most when somebody comes up to my meet and greet and they say like, I've just lost 70 pounds and I did it because I started following what you were doing. So that stuff is for them as much as it's for me. Yeah. We all have our insecurities and obviously putting your life out there on the internet gives people an opportunity to poke at some

of our insecurities or create new ones. What are some things that you've been insecure about that you feel like it's developed into a strength? or what are some things that like you didn't even realize you're insecure about and all of a sudden you're like fuck you know wait thanks for letting me know yeah there's a lot of that um i had this mole on my forehead okay that uh one time somebody commented and they said something they called it like a piece of meat on my face and those words stuck with me and I got it removed very descriptive very descriptive like the word a piece of meat which is like so I got it cut off but uh I think a lot of the insecurity comes from like my work and like my music and singing because I'm proud of my work so when people say that like I'm bad and I need to quit that affects me a lot especially like when I was

a meme and everybody was poking saying I'm a joke and like my music is a joke but that pushed me a lot, especially like when I was a meme and everybody was saying I'm a joke and like my music is a joke, but that pushed me to write one of my best songs to date from that situation. Do you feel like you're constantly trying to get more respect? I only ask that because I sometimes feel that way. You mentioned earlier about coming from the YouTube space of the

preconceived notions that come with it and you're doing other things. Do you struggle with that? I would say, yeah. Because people will label you as like, oh, there's like Viner. Everybody thinks they can sing. Everybody thinks blah, blah, blah. And I found, I put out my poetry book before anything else. And a lot of people were reading it. And as I was reading the criticisms of it, it was because everybody was reading it very surface level. And if you would dissect it and give it the critical thought that you would give any other poet, you would find that like these aren't these surface level poems that you're making them out to be like, there's this one about taking naps and sleep. And everybody's like, this is so dumb. It's like a limerick about sleep. And it's about suicide. But they didn't give it the benefit of the doubt that i'm capable of that type of critical thinking so people didn't read it i think the way that they should have does that make sense yeah yeah no i get it and do you i mean and i'm i ask these questions speaking for my own kind of uh inner thoughts but have you been able to draw the line of like letting your fans who do understand that defend you or going down that rabbit hole and be

like no it's about this and trying to convince every individual on their own of understanding where you're coming from and i've also noticed that um hate hate is louder but love is stronger and the people i've noticed that are tweeting and commenting those aren't people that were really there to support me in the first place and like my fans are generally a little bit older too and they're not the type to like go on twitter and be like well this is bullshit and you're wrong so i call it this is gonna sound awful no i'm not gonna say it because people will take it no i think it's kind of like the trump effect. And I'm not saying I support Trump, but it's like,

we're not political show. We're not saying, no, it's just the idea of everybody was so dumbfounded when Trump won, because they were like, everybody hates Trump. Nobody supports Trump. He's not going to win.

That's well, that's what I'm saying. So when he won the election and he was like, the popular vote was not that far off. People were like, Oh, shocked. But it was because the people who were not that far off people were like oh shocked but it was because the people who were supporting hillary were just very loud and vocal on the

internet the people who supported trump didn't want to speak online because they were afraid of the scrutiny that they would face there was definitely that phenomenon yeah so i think that there's a lot of silent supporters of my music and book and the numbers show that they're just not on the internet being like well yeah but you're you're suggesting that people are afraid to support you and i don't think that no no they are no they are you're oh you think they're afraid you have a lot of outspoken i mean i don't know much about you other than the fact that you have a very dedicated strong fan i do but during some of these like scandals um i saw a lot of my own fans tweeting a lot of them are tweeting like hey guys like i don't know if i should stand gabby anymore and like saying basically that they were getting hate for

supporting me so just for the sole fact that these people were fans of mine and had my face set as their profile picture and tried to defend me and still supported me they were getting loads of hate and then they deleted their accounts because they were getting so much hate just by proxy so like sure they so they weren't as outspoken during whatever scandal they i don't blame them that's cancel culture yeah like they were too scared to support so now like yeah they're still going to download my music but are they going to be on twitter talking about it no because they're scared well i mean hate is always going to be louder than the positivity yeah i mean people don't have much time to say i love you but they'll let you know if they No, because they're scared. Well, I mean, hate is always gonna be louder than the positivity. I mean, people don't have much time to say, I love you,

but they'll let you know if they have a problem. Exactly. It's just kind of how. You're quicker to leave a negative Yelp review than a positive one. Yeah. Nobody goes up to the manager and talks about what great service they had.

Right. That is true. They're far more motivated to let them know Complain. Of their bad time yeah uh you are recently in a new relationship is that true yes i've never been public before congratulations i noticed i read something when i was um doing my research that you went through a period of time of not putting it out there and being very discreet which i thought was interesting

not knowing much about you for someone who shares so much about her life. What made you choose to slow play that kind of reveal of the person you were in a relationship with? Well, this person, I haven't even really been with that long. It's only been a few months. I've been people,

been with people for like a year who nobody's ever seen. Okay. Um, because I, this is kind of what I was saying earlier about like, you don't know my whole life. I share for entertainment purposes, what I think is important or like what I want to share,

but like something like my relationships, my friendships, I keep on the low because I like to know that people are in my life for a real reason and that they're not here just for like numbers or like, because it's interesting. That's one reason I like to keep it private. But also I've never been really confident that somebody that i was with was the real deal or like somebody i wanted to share and i never wanted to be in a situation where i would have to go through

like this big public breakup and wanted my relationship and breakup up for public debate so are you public with this person though yeah i've never posted publicly about somebody and i was just like fuck it how long you've been dating um a few months excited yeah uh what's the thing you love most about this relationship why you feel so safe with it it's just one of those cliches that you don't think is real until you find it where it's just like oh this is what it's supposed to be this is what love is what do you mean what's different about this one than the past ones other than a gut besides a gut feeling he's just somebody who it's it's easy it's he's dependable he clearly wants

to make me happy and i want to make him happy so it's this very symbiotic relationship of doing whatever we can to make each other happy. And in making each other happy, we make ourselves happy. What do you think you're, what's most different about you and your, I mean, what I'm saying is in your actions towards him than you were in other relationships. I'm a person who is a direct reciprocator of what I'm receiving. So with him, I receive a lot of thought and attention and love. So I'm receive a lot of thought and attention and love. So I'm giving a lot of thought and attention and love, where from the jump right out of the gate in relationships, I'm somebody who throws in my all and I want to give you my time, I want to give

you my effort and my attention. And I've I haven't always gotten that back. And this is somebody who from the jump wanted to give that back. And I was in a place where I didn't want a relationship at all. I wasn't looking I just got out of of like a very toxic relationship that I needed a lot of space to heal from. So I got on a dating app and I was just, I basically needed validation and attention and kind of stumbled upon this person. And he was very persistent and dedicated and showed me that he was in it for the right reasons and he didn't want any i didn't even kiss him for 11 dates and he 11 dates 11 no kiss and that's why i was like damn this guy is in it because he didn't care about anything except getting to know and you appreciated persistence

i appreciated it because i could tell that like he was just so interested in getting to know me like on when he asked me on our third date, he asked me to go see a movie and I tried to end it because I was like, ah, it's a third date. That's kind of like the first kiss date and he wants to go to a movie. That's like a very intimate setting.

So I said to him- Wait, a movie's an intimate setting? It's like in the dark and you're sitting close together and like he's going to try to put his arm around me and he might try to kiss me and it just wasn't what I wanted.

I don't know. I disagree. Really? I think in eighth grade, it was the intimate intimate setting but to me a movie is a very an adult date i think a movie is kind of a throwaway date and i don't mean that in a negative way i mean like all right i enjoy hanging out with this person i don't feel the pressure to have to like have more conversation get to know them i just

kind of want to be around them but i don't need to like try to make a move so let's just go to a public physical proximity of it though like what's the most you can do and be comfortable hold hand i didn't even want him to put his arm around me at this point okay like that's how like this the relationship that i just got out of like fucked me up like i didn't want to be touched i didn't want to be like close i didn't want to be intimate with anybody so like even the thought of him trying to hold my hand because we're sitting next to each other okay i just wasn't okay i mean in a place yes i mean you have to be open to a handhold and a move that's what i'm saying so i straight up told him like hey like i'm not really in a place to like be there whatever and he said that's okay we can go for a hike and i was like you like the hike yeah so we went for a hike

but it's less you know what i'm saying yeah i've been on a hike not touched a guy yeah like you like the hike yeah so we went for a hike but it's less you know what i'm saying yeah i've been on a hike not touched a guy yeah like you're like chugging up the hill yeah you know i i yeah i get it but i i i find this interesting more because of the the slow play of it yeah i mean there must have been a lot of communication going on throughout these 11 days that made him not feel discouraged i mean from, from his, did you, do you guys talk about this now that you're in a relationship of like what his mindset was going on during these 11 days? Because it can, from a guy's point of view, get kind of confusing of like, I don't think she's that into me, but she keeps hanging out, but we're going on 11 dates.

So like, am I friend zoned? Like what's going on? We're hiking now? He kind of was for a second in my mind he was a little bit friend zoned but i i was always very open with him where i was and he was always very open with me about how he felt about it so i would tell him like i straight up apologized after i think six dates i was like i'm really sorry like it's not like i'm i'm trying i'm just not there yet and he told me later he's like as long as you were showing me that there was some type of interest i was willing to put in as much time as well acknowledging that you're like you understand where he might be coming from and that that's very to me that would tell me i'm not

necessarily their friends and i'm in this kind of gray area i'm in this early relationship that's it sounds like a mature one where there's a lot of communication going on and not this kind of pressure of living up to these expectations of like, well, it's our third date. We need to have sex or we need at least make out or something like that. And I think that's also why our relationship is so different and strong is I've never felt so openly free to communicate how I was feeling with somebody before. And I've never had somebody communicate with me so openly about how he was feeling before. And I think he's told me like he's like the person you know isn't who i've ever been in a relationship like this is completely new for me you said he said this to me he's like this isn't

who i normally am like you get a new side of me that i didn't know existed like well what did that mean did that make you go well what do you what were you like just like the like we're very affectionate um he's very communicative. Like we spend a lot of time together and he's in past said, like, I'm not, I've never been the person to be this affectionate. I've never wanted to spend this much time. He's like, I would literally put a pillow in between me and the person I was sleeping with because I didn't want to be affectionate with them.

But with us, it's just like constant, like touching each other at all times, you know? That's interesting. And I find the persistent part interesting because I think sometimes persistence nowadays gets a bad rap. Yeah. It's a subtlety though, right? Like, you know, you can be a persistent guy

and you need to be like, you need to stop calling her dude because she's asking you to. Well, he gave me space too though. And I think that was what was so special is like after our first date, he waited almost a week before trying again because he knew i wasn't in a place and it sounds like while you slow played it you never closed all the doors and windows so to speak it was just very slow but you always were receptive to him reaching back out

like i've never i never didn't answer his texts. He just didn't give up. He didn't give up. Or he didn't make you a bad person for, because sometimes I've had guys get angry. Yeah, for sure. And you're like, I'm busy. I'm sorry. I think that's a huge criticism of guys

is that they are confused about a woman's intentions, their interest in them. And instead of asking questions and empathizing where they're coming from, they try to fill in their own gaps, get defensive, get accusatory. Is that a word? Yeah.

Get aggressive. And then there's a lack of communication. So it sounds like, how old is he? 30. He's just a good guy. And it was like, it was at the right time. Like we found each other right time, right place.

It was kind of kismet and I'm cool with it. Congratulations. I wish you guys the best of luck. It's nice to have someone to, you know, around. It's great. Before I let you go,

we like to play a little game with our guest called. Do you know me? It's real simple. Okay. Rochelle and I are going to guess who knows Know Me? It's real simple. Okay. Rochelle and I are going to guess who knows Gabby better. Okay. They're real simple questions. Out of you two?

Yeah. I mean, the people listening can certainly, I wonder if people listening play along. Of course they do. They must. Tell them to leave a five-star review and leave their answers with it. Oh.

Oh my God, please. Don't answer the question aloud. We'll guess and then let us know if we guessed correct. You'll catch on real quick. This will be fun because I probably, I don't know Gabby much more than our conversation now. Yeah. I kind of pick some random questions.

Rochelle picks these questions out. Okay. Question number one. Did Gabby fail their driving test the first time? What a funny random question. I know. They're all going to be like this. Yes.

I know. I kind of think yes too. Does that mean? No, I did. You failed it? Yeah. Really? I failed it because it was at a

four-way stop yeah and uh well that's not true uh i thought i was at a four-way stop and the other direction had a yield no and so they were like coming and I started going. Oh, yeah. But my second time I stuck at zero points off. Did you have your own car? No, my parents' car. I failed twice. Twice? Yeah, I was very determined to not fail the third time because the third time you have to retake your permit

and I just wasn't confident that I could pass. Right, right. Why'd you fail? Yeah, the first time I failed immediately trying to parallel park because they make you do that first. And then the second time I failed because I did the whole test. But then on the way back, I was going down the wrong side of the road. So I was going against traffic.

That'll do it. Yeah. That'll do it. That'll do it. I'm an excellent parallel parker. Are you? I am now. I'm really good. Do you have a backup camera? Yeah, a backup camera is key. I don't excellent parallel parker. Are you? I am now. I'm really good.

Do you have a backup camera? Yeah, a backup camera is key. I don't need one, but yes, I do. How do people do it without it? I don't know. It doesn't make sense. Real simple. I don't know if I could describe this over a podcast,

but most cars have their light in the middle. It's all about finding that middle section of your rear view window. What? Yeah, there's a light, right? Right in the the middle of your when you turn on the back right in that middle you line that up with the far right corner of the car the corner of the front car that's closest to the curb and when you turn that middle car you line up and at the last minute you flip it i didn't follow me neither but that's just what you

do i know it's hard to describe i'd have to draw it out i have no spatial reasoning like i can't figure out how long the front of my car is and if i'm gonna hit something yeah i'm just remembering i had the creepiest i had like my dad bought like um train drivers training with the, like I drove with this guy around and he was so creepy, creepy, creepy, creepy. I never did. I only,

Hey, in my defense also, I only had two weeks of practice driving before I took my test. Cause I got my permit when I was 18 years old, drove for two weeks. Cause when you're 18, you only have to do it for two weeks, not six months,

drove for two weeks and took my test. So I didn't do that bad. It's fine. A lot of people do fail. I think the first time i think so too because nerves yeah yeah question number two does gabby have more unread text messages than the person to their left okay you're to my left well I have well currently don't say

okay don't say Nick don't say because I'm gonna guess first I'm gonna say I'm gonna say Nick has more because he doesn't I currently have a lot

how many right now yeah that have been text well you gotta guess if Gabby has more or less than you she has less than me

I said less okay how many do you have it should just say the number yeah look at that look at the number for multiple people no but what's the number on your home screen oh look look at your oh let's see i I have exactly 19. Oh my God. Twins. I have 53. Oh my God. I don't know. You have 53 under a text? That was like for real, like came out of nowhere with that one.

I guess I'm afraid to look at texts. They give me anxiety. You definitely do. I get afraid of things. She really does. Wild. We all need therapy. I've been working with Rochelle for a whole

year now and I'm just getting to the tip of the iceberg of understanding her. It's been a wild ride. Question number three. Does Abby sleep with stuffed animals? Yes.

Yes. Do I? Wait, I'm changing to no. I'm changing to no. Can I do that? No, I have none. Yes. Yeah.

You cheated there. Why did you think? I seem like an affectionate person. Yeah. I don't know. Like the comfort of a soft. I'm either as cold as stone Or the most affectionate person you've ever met

And I'm nothing in between What do you sleep with? Just one bare sheet Damn you How quickly we forget that we were single But what would you sleep with? Listen, I've been chronically single for 28 years this is the first time i'm like i have a boyfriend uh all right next question does abby own are you calling

me abby oh abby cut it's okay abby we're gonna edit that out because i don't know your fans you did it on the last one too oh no did i i didn't notice yeah i let it slip because i was like maybe did i in the last one yeah oh it's okay I'm gonna read that I'm gonna read that question again and then we'll edit

does Gabby sleep with stuffed animals all right damn what a dick I'm a dick no you're okay why did I say Abby because it's a more common name

it's okay no but sometimes I do it where like there's a reason I can know why you know where like it's you know it's a more common name. No, but sometimes I do it where like there's a reason I can know why, you know, where like it's, you know, too quick. It's just a name. Forgive yourself.

I thought your last name was Vial until somebody told me it was Vial yesterday. It's Vial. Vial. Okay. See? I'm a dick. No. I've never seen The Bachelor.

I'm a dick. It's not the same. We're definitely, it's not the same. Thank you. Does Gabby own a fanny pack? I picked that one. I don't remember picking that one. Oh, you just, oh.

No, that's right. A fanny pack. Yes. Yes. Fanny packs are even. I think you're fashion forward. I would even go as far as saying she had a fanny pack right before it got really trendy. Yeah.

I had a fanny pack before it was cool. However, I've never worn one for fashion purposes. I wear them to hike, which is worse. Hiking fannies. Yeah. Because I don't want to hold my phone while I'm hiking. How is that worse? Because I wear it in the loser way.

I wear it in the way your aunt would wear it in 1998. Yeah. wear it in the loser way i wear it in the way your aunt would wear it in 1998 yeah i went to a a football game a few weeks ago and i bought a fanny pack because hell yeah because i could you know i was going to be all day and i have like a moffy portable charger they don't let you bring fanny packs in i mean i guess they let you well that's not. I mean, they had to open it up, but I had a portable charger. Yeah, because you have purses. In a football game? Yeah.

Oh, I brought a fanny. They were like, never do this again. Really? Really? I don't know. That's weird. It's very weird. I look suspicious.

Yeah, you look really suspicious. You are very intimidating. Has Gabby ever missed a flight? Yes. Yeah. I've only ever missed a flight when my first flight didn't land in time. Oh, that doesn't count.

And it was in fucking Turkey. It happened there and back. I was going to Greece. And both there and back, there's only one flight to Athens. And if you don't catch it, in fucking Turkey. It happened there and back. I was going to Greece. And both there and back, there's only one flight to Athens. And if you don't catch it, you're fucked. And I had to stay overnight in like a very scary location two times. Oh, no. Yeah.

But I don't think I've ever missed a flight on my own accord. I'm very paranoid about missing flights. Good for you. I wait till the last minute. Oh, I missed one once. Not too recently. Maybe like a year two years ago but it was like a it's an early flight like a 7 a.m flight 6 30 flight so i'd wake up really early my alarm didn't go off and i woke up maybe like an hour before the flight and there's no way you're making it i was like no but i i gave it the old college try

you gave it your best because sometimes i call an uber and you know it's early so there's no way you're making it i was like no but i i gave it the old college try you gave it your best because sometimes i call it uber and you know it's early so there's no traffic yeah right there and i made it like what's here's what's annoying and usually i don't check a bag but for whatever reason i checked i had a big suitcase so i checked a bag and i got there too late for them to check the bag so they refused to check it they fucking could have and then i got like through security with like five like before like five minutes before the gate even closed so i got like i made it in time but like i couldn't go on that flight why because i had the bag they wouldn't they wouldn't check the bag you took the bag with you through security no i had a i had a big suitcase yeah i had to check it it wasn't like i had an option to check it or yeah check it but you still went through security yeah how'd you get through security no i had a i had a big suitcase yeah i had to check it it wasn't like i had an

option to check it or check it but you still went through security yeah how'd you get through security oh because i they put me in the next the next flight so i had to sit there and wait three hours and so i went through security only to like walk up to the flight that i was supposed to be on while people were boarding the flight it was so i was so fucking annoyed that actually happened to me one time, but they did check my bag because the year's was, I think it's 20 minutes before boarding.

You have to check your bag. And I was just like in tears. I was like, please. Yeah, no, I should have gave a better performance because it was definitely one of those moments. They're like, this asshole, no. It's a pet peeve of mine where like anyone in kind of a customer service job

and they'll say, well, sorry, we can't, there's nothing we can do. And I, I know you've said this before. Cause this is not the way to get your way, by the way. Yeah.

I can already tell what you're about to say. And I'm like, not a good call. It's not that you can't, it's just that you won't. Did you say it? Yeah. At that point I knew they weren't going to do it,

but like the only thing worse he could have said is, have you seen the bachelor? I've never done that. But yes, you just got to beg for people's help. Please help me. What is it? Is it Meet the Fockers where he's getting on the plane with the woman in the chopsticks?

People love to feel like they're helping. Yeah. You just got to make people feel like they can literally save your life. Yeah. And honestly, it would have helped you a lot i tried that move and then i knew she wasn't gonna help me he was like fuck you i was just like please stop telling me you can't help me yeah because you can you just don't want to yeah i was really pissed anyways last question has gabby ever had a pet guinea pig very specific that is very specific i'm gonna say yes i can imagine her with one a nice little guinea pig i'm gonna say my brothers

we had one as kids engaged to a girl who has guinea i thought you were gonna say a guinea pig yeah she had a woman with guinea pigs he has thought you were going to say engaged to a guinea pig. She had a woman with guinea pigs. He has to wait to come to Christmas late because he has to take care of the guinea pigs. Who is this? My brother's fiance. He got engaged. You jelly? No. Do they listen to this? No.

No one I know listens to this podcast. An adult with multiple guinea pigs. Yeah. My sister-in-law. I've never had one. I do think guinea pigs are more of a child's pet because they're so easy to care for, but I think that there's adults with them. There are. I mean, there are.

Your brother's fiance has guinea pigs. What pets do you have? I don't have any pets, but I really want to get rats. Oh. Listen, no, stop. Listen, rats get a bad rap, and I'm tired of it. They might. That's fair, but also you. They're very small, very cute. They're a bad rap and I'm tired of it. They might. That's fair. They're very cute. They're very cute.

And they're just like dogs. They come when you call them. They do tricks. They sit. They stay. They just love to be cuddled. They're generally pretty clean. Like they're actually very cute and cuddly.

If they're hungry enough, they'll eat you. No, they won't. Okay, for sure they would. But also, so would your dog. Like if you left a canine and like it's hungry enough it's gonna fucking start biting yeah and also just feed your fucking rats okay they don't eat that much you're probably right i'm just not have you ever seen a video of like a rat being cute as hell no google it i find them to be really not attractive but you're probably thinking of like a lab rat

or like a street rat. No, their tail doesn't do it for me. Lab rat. Okay, their tails, you got to get past the tail. I don't really have to. But I do support you supporting the rat community. I probably could use some friends. No, that's fine.

The rat community. An advocate for rats. A rat-cab a rat commit to the title of this episode uh well gabby i really appreciate you coming on it's been a lot of fun uh where can people find you um if you search gabby hannah um on itunes or youtube or anywhere really you can find me there and your new podcast give it a little plug. Tell us a little bit about what it's about. Box of Thoughts. It's where I just unpack my thoughts for the week.

It's basically just conversation with my best friend every week. If someone's a giant YouTube fan of yours and also interested in podcasts, what's different about your YouTube versus your podcast? Podcast is completely uncut, unfiltered. It's talking about real stuff. It's not focused around an activity that I'm doing.

That's pretty much it. It's just a more uncut, unfiltered, uncensored version. Awesome. Yeah. Cool. Well, check it out, everyone. Thanks for listening, Gabby. Again, thanks for coming.

Thank you for having me. Yeah, guys. Five stars, as Gabby mentioned. We love five stars. We would appreciate if you uh give us one no give me five five star yeah one five star or can you give more than one probably not unless they're real dedicated and they make multiple accounts but i heard you're a douchebag in person according to the one girl on instagram so oh that one yeah yeah he's not by the way he's actually a very nice person i talked to you off camera you're nice thank you uh thanks for listening guys have a great day