The Viall Files - Going Deeper with Kaylor Martin
Episode Date: July 24, 2024Welcome back to The Viall Files: Going Deeper, with Love Island USA’s Kaylor Martin Today we have a bonus episode, and boy is it filled with JUICY tea. And hot mics?! How was Kaylor’s experience o...n Love Island? How has her experience been in the public eye? And, where is she now with Aaron? “I have my doubts about Aaron.” Start your 7 Day Free Trial of Viall Files + here: https://viallfiles.supportingcast.fm/ Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to asknick@theviallfiles.com to be a part of our Monday episodes. Listen To Disrespectfully now! Listen on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/disrespectfully/id1516710301 Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0J6DW1KeDX6SpoVEuQpl7z?si=c35995a56b8d4038 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCh8MqSsiGkfJcWhkan0D0w To Order Nick’s Book Go To: http://www.viallfiles.com If you would like to get some texting advice on Office Hours send an email to asknick@theviallfiles.com with “Texting Office Hours” in the subject line! To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://www.advertisecast.com/TheViallFiles Thank You to Our Sponsors: Huggies - Learn More At https://www.Huggies.com Helix Sleep - Helix is offering up to 30% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to https://www.HelixSleep.com/Viall Goodr - If you want to support the show and try a pair, goodr is giving The Viall Files listeners Free Shipping! You can go to https://www.goodr.com/VIALLFILES and use code VIALLFILES for free shipping. Episode Socials: @viallfiles @nickviall @nnataliejjoy @kaylor.martin @ciararobinson @justinkaphillips @leahgsilberstein @dereklanerussell Timestamps: 00:00 - Intro 03:41 - Applying 6:47 - On The Show 12:06 - Being Yourself 16:49 - Casa 19:17 - Your Fans 22:59 - Move That Way 24:30 - Definitions Of Love 29:23 - Doubts 31:57 - Mom 35:53 - Least Favorite Part 40:48 - Rob 51:13 - Dangerously In Love 57:51 - Hot Mic 01:12:14 - Texting Office Hours 01:27:13 - Next Steps 01:34:50 - Last Advice 01:36:50 - Outro
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome to the Vilephiles.
Thank you.
How are you?
I'm good.
I'm really good.
I feel like I'm just now realizing like, oh shit, this summer was like actually broadcasted
to the entire United States and more.
And when you're in there,
you feel like you're just living life,
like in a college frat house
with a million of your best friends.
So now being outside,
it's crazy watching everything back,
and it's been insane.
Yeah, I think that's one of the more fascinating things
for us.
Sierra's been watching Love Island for ever.
Love him.
We're relatively new to the franchise,
huge fans, huge fans of the whole cast,
huge fans of you.
Watching it like in real time,
just knowing how different it is in other shows,
like you mentioned The Bachelor,
you film it, you come off,
there's usually like a two or three month break
where you just kind of go back to your normal life.
You kind of have this weird experience and then it's aired.
And then all that kind of drama happens.
And you guys have to come out of this bubble
having no idea like what's been talked about,
what's been said.
That's a very crazy experience.
Yeah, I know it's really crazy but it's kind of scary too.
Like I'm like watching everything back and like oh
My goodness, this doesn't feel like a real life right now
Like like I said prior like being in the villa you really like don't feel like there's hidden cameras
Like you it does not feel like you are
Being recorded and like everything like you forget about the cameras. Oh completely. Yes. Yes completely
everything. Like you forget about the cameras. Oh completely, yes, yes, completely. Sometimes when I first started I was like looking at the cameras like right
like right at the camera while I'm having a chat they're like, Kayla, quit
looking at the cameras. Or like I'd pick a wedgie and I'd be like, did you catch that?
But yeah, no, it's definitely a crazy experience. It's just like I'm from a
really small town as well so like all of this is just not like I'm from a really small town as well. So like all of this is just not like,
I'm not used to this at all.
Outside of Pittsburgh?
Yeah, so I like live an hour away from Pittsburgh.
It's like the country of PA.
And that's where you were living
before you left to film the show.
Yeah, yeah, so I like just graduated with my undergrad
and then moved back home with my family.
Where'd you go to school?
And I went to a small school in PA, like 35 minutes away from where I family. Where'd you go to school? And I went to a small school in PA,
like 35 minutes away from where I live.
Where'd you study?
Psychology, which may be surprising for some people.
Why is that?
Why is that?
Because I'm a big crier.
No, I love that about you.
We were watching it and I was like,
I love how emotional she is.
It's like so heartwarming to see
because you're just like, I don't give a fuck.
It's making me sad. I'm crying. Or like, it's making me happy. Oh my gosh, I am the emotional she is. It's like so heartwarming to see because you're just like, I don't give a fuck, it's making me sad, I'm crying.
Or like, it's making me happy.
Oh my gosh, I am the biggest crybaby.
Like going in, like I am a crier whenever I am happy,
sad, mad, angry, I'm crying all the time.
But being in the villa,
talking about your feelings every single day
is like, it's a lot.
And I feel like even like, you know,
whenever like my friends are asking me questions, like such an over analyzer so I'm like
overthinking it thinking the words making myself cry but I feel like I cried
for very good reasons this summer I would agree yeah we were totally on board
yeah thank you yeah no my mom she was like baby girl when you were crying I
was crying with you because my heart hurt.
And she was like, I'm not surprised
you cried that much whatsoever.
I think my little brother even said,
whenever we got to speak with our family,
like, Kayla, you're crying so much, stop.
But it's nothing they're not used to, so.
I loved that about you.
How did you end up on the show in the first place?
Let's start at the very beginning.
Oh, gosh.
So I actually just found the Love Island application online.
I wasn't reached out to.
I know a lot of the Islanders had someone in their DMs
being like, you should apply, and had a little bit of an insider.
But I was just in my room at my house after Christmas, and I applied.
I was actually sitting around
with all of my best friends and I was like,
should I apply to this?
They're like, do it, just do it.
So I applied and the application's like 100 questions.
They're very in-depth.
I want to apply to a Submit It
and my ex-boyfriend calls me and I answer it.
And I'm like, what do you want now?
Like he's just calling you to like bitch about something.
And I hang up in my entire application deletes. And it's a whole like it's in depth open-ended question. Oh my
Fucking new
So I am like I'm not doing it like I already did sat here for hours applying and my
Girlfriends, and I you guys like know what Applebee's is right?
Mm-hmm. So we get Applebee's for you know, the cheap cocktail. So we're like we're going to Applebee's for a fish
Yeah, it's like we except we're going to Applebee's for a fish bowl. So I'm sitting there and they're looking at really like Kayla
What are you doing right now? I know you're applying to be on fucking love Island
Aren't you and yeah, of course, so I submitted my application and then I had multiple interviews a bunch
There's a lot of like behind the scenes like whenever it comes to like applying for the show
You have to go through like, you know
A lot of interviews and it's kind of like callbacks like if you if you make that if you do well on that one
You get a callback. Yeah, so every single time, you know, I was telling my best friends about it and they were like Kayla
We really think that you may get this I was like there's no way in hell
Lo and behold use I got the call that I was coming to Fiji. It was right after I graduated and
Started bawling my eyes out because I like
I just didn't expect to actually get the show.
And it's craziness, especially because I am from
such a small town that things like that
and opportunities like that don't come by a lot.
So yeah.
Have you been a fan of Love Island for a while?
I know you mentioned you and your mom back in the day
watched The Bachelor, you've seen my season.
Why Love Island and maybe not some of the other
more popular shows out there?
Yeah, so I honestly wasn't like a huge Love Island fan.
I would like see seasons and snippets.
My 12-year-old sister was a way bigger fan
of the show than I was, but I just,
what I like about Love Island is they allow you
to be yourself.
Like, I can be absolutely fucking feral on television. And that's why I was
like, yes, this one is, this one's good one. But honestly, I don't know. I feel like also
I just, I never considered like this realm for me is like at all. I never thought that
I would actually go on like something like a reality TV show. So yeah, I feel like Love
Island was the perfect and I'm so glad that that's what my reality show
experiences with.
Yeah, no, I think it's crazy, like you said,
just to get casted, obviously the show's gotten
more and more popular, you probably were picked
amongst probably millions of applications.
But then once you get picked, not only do you find out
you're gonna be on the show, but you're gonna be
like original cast, you're gonna be one of the first
people there, when did you find that out?
Because as you know, that can make all the difference
between being on an episode or two
or like being a main character, which you were.
Yeah, so while I was in Fiji, I feel like they don't,
I'm not really sure I can't speak for like
the producer's part, but,
cause they don't really tell you much.
But whenever I got to Fiji, I was, you know,
I had a lot of shoots and like interviews and stuff like that and I had an interview with you know
The producers and I was like, you know
I have a feeling that this is like going to like determine our placement in the show and I was worried sick
But I kept calling my mom like I don't feel like I did well
Like I feel like I wasn't myself like just like I'm not gonna be an OG because obviously I can speak for myself at least like I
Think that being an OG would be like the best case scenario
So I was so hopeful that I would you know, maybe be an OG
but if I was like even if I'm in costal like I'm I'm so like
Happy about this experience and I will go in on the very last day if they want me to so
yeah, finding out that I was an OG was even
more crazy because like I said, like I just, this is just like a whole shock, like it's just a huge
shock to me and my mom was like, I knew you would get it. Like I knew you would get it. I actually
had messages and my mom and I texting, like I don't think I'm going to be an OG. I don't even
know if I'm going to be on the show because there is like a high chance that you can go out to Fiji and
Not be on the show at all. So they'll just fly you home
So I was hearing back so much and I was had so many interviews in Fiji prior to the show coming out
And then it was like a week of silence
So I had like a week of silence to like sit and be like, oh shit
Like I had don't have anything going on. I don't have shoots like so. Yeah, whenever I found out
I was an OG,
which was when you guys found out.
Wow.
I think-
Like when you walk in, you don't even know
what you're walking into.
No, no.
So prior to walking in, I didn't know if I was going into
a villa full of people or if there was going to be
a couple people there.
So whenever Serena and I saw each other for the first time,
it's when we were like, oh shit, we're the first ones.
Have you given much thought as to,
now that you knew you were OG,
your original cast of why they picked you?
I guess no, not really.
I didn't really think of it until you just,
when you just asked me that, but I feel like maybe,
I don't know, maybe just because my personality
is a little crazy, I have no idea.
Well, from where I sit,
and Sierra and Allie can give their opinions too,
but yeah, you're just wonderfully authentically yourself.
I feel like even when you try,
when you said, oh, I didn't feel like I was myself,
I think even in that moment,
you don't even realize you're being yourself.
Because it's like, if you're nervous,
you'll be nervous and you'll talk about being nervous.
If you're sad, you'll talk about being sad.
There's kind of no hiding what Kahler feels.
And I feel like that's the best possible thing
for reality TV and also just like in life.
I think, would it be fair to say that
the people you know the best, your best friends,
your family, they always kind of know where you stand
and they never feel like you're being disingenuous with them.
Yeah, no, 100%.
I think even talking to my family after the show,
I was like, one of my first questions to my friends
and family was like, do you think that I was true to myself?
Is this the Kaylor you know?
And they were like, absolutely.
I knew you were gonna cry every episode.
I knew you were going to go through these emotions.
And I think even prior to coming on the show,
my mom was like, kind of like, are you gonna practice?
And like, no, I'm not gonna practice.
What the fuck, what do you want me to practice on?
And like, no, I'm just gonna be me.
And- You're like, I gotta tech.
No, no, no.
I gotta tech.
No, I don't like that one.
I gotta tech.
Yay.
Yeah, no. But yeah, I just feel like that one. I got a chance. I got a chance. Yay. Yeah, no.
But yeah, I just feel like also it
helps that when you are in the villa,
you're literally just like it's not setting in your brain
that you're actually being filmed.
So I think that what I love so much about Love Island
is they allow you to be yourself.
They don't really influence you to do many things
or do anything at all.
And they actually really encourage you to do many things or do anything at all, and they actually really encourage you
to just stay true to you,
and that's what I really enjoy about everything.
Yeah.
You certainly were, and I think that's...
Yeah, I think most reality TV fans just wanna feel like
they can believe what they're seeing.
Yeah, right.
And I think with you, it's always been obvious,
and I think that's what people love about you the most.
Thank you.
I feel like I just really wear my emotions on my sleeve
and I grew up in a household where like,
it's okay to talk about how you feel.
And like my mom was always asking me that
and I always would be open with her.
And so I feel like that really, you know,
helped me come into this and like be me.
And I think that I just kept it in the back of my mind
because I would even like pull people aside and be like,
oh, I don't want to be to myself, I'm scared.
Because obviously while you're in there, you're thinking,
oh, how are you going to be portrayed to the outside world?
So, but yeah, I'm really happy with how I went about everything
and I feel like just like in the villa, I definitely was myself.
So, yeah, I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but.
I think it's a great thing.
Obviously we know that sometimes being yourself
on reality TV is great as like we appreciate it,
that other people can be, people online are dicks,
fans, short for fanatic, and even though they might
be huge fans of you, it doesn't always feel that way
because it's easy to comment something just because most don't you know most people don't think you're
ever gonna read anything. But what has it been like for you coming out of
the villa and immersing yourself into the real world? Have you stayed offline?
Are you reading stuff? I think I think the biggest question most people
want to know is have you watched it all back?
I have not.
You have not.
No, so I think just like going from
the first thing that you said in your question,
I feel like as like an Islander,
and I'm not sure if anyone else can agree with me,
but you are drawn to the negative comments, you know?
Like I had someone comment, I think on my Twitter,
and was like, Kayla, don't look at your Twitter thread. What did I do? Ran a Twitter and looked at my Twitter thread.
So, um, I feel like, you know, I have been having a lot of love as well and like,
support is absolutely insane, but I feel like I've just also, you know, that comes with hate
and since it was such a big deal and like this did become such a big show, it's like such a great
thing, but also like kind of bad in a way because you also have a lot of negative attention. Okay. Yeah. So
I haven't watched it back at all.
How did you come to that decision?
I mean, maybe she didn't have time. She just got back yesterday.
Sure. Yeah. Is that it? Is it just a lack of time?
Yeah. So I had a few days in Fiji before I returned, but actually like Peacock, you can't
really download Peacock in Fiji. So all, but actually like Peacock, you can't really download download Peacock in Fiji.
Yeah.
So all you see is like the edits that people are making and like
what's circling on TikTok.
But one of my biggest comments and my comment section are Kailer.
If anyone needs to watch the show, it's you.
Go and watch the freaking show.
So I feel like I'm very nervous to watch the show and I'd like to do it with
someone like Liv or like one of my girlfriends'd like to do it with someone like Liv
or like one of my girlfriends.
We'll watch it with you.
Yeah, okay.
That's our watch party.
We got your back.
Watch party.
But yeah, I feel like I'm very nervous to watch it back.
What are you most nervous about?
Oh, what do you think, Nick?
Yeah.
I'm definitely the most nervous about Casa.
I feel like, you know, I still have
some unanswered questions and I feel like I just need to see it firsthand and
everyone who has been so supportive of me have not so been so supportive of
Aaron. We're probably in that camp. As a person, I think I would be
I get the appeal of Erin.
I feel like I have friends that remind me of Erin, and they are great friends.
And I get the allure and I get the charm.
I don't think it's, I think when people look at you
and they're fans of you and they watched you come in
and they love your laugh and they love your authenticity,
and then I think everyone just really loved you and Erin.
It's not like people hate Erin.
I think they're just very protective of you.
Even your fans.
And I think the people who see this person
who's incredibly authentic, really emotional and vulnerable.
To me, I saw you and I thought like this,
I really value loyalty in my life. Even though like I think, and I always say this, I really value loyalty in my life,
even though like I think,
and I always say this on the show,
I think loyalty is one of those things
that everyone claims that they are.
You know, if you were to ask someone, are you loyal?
No one's gonna be like, no.
You know, but when it comes to actually being loyal
and showing loyalty, I think most,
a lot of people aren't, you know?
And I feel like I saw you as someone who,
it's very clear who you care about and who you love and your willingness
To like go out of your way and and and selflessly care about the people that you love
And I think as a result
They're just very protective of you and I think they want for you the same type of energy and love that you're so willing to give
Yes, no, I agree and I think that also like I was very emotional. I feel like a lot of girls are hurting with me.
You know, they're hurting for me.
And I feel like a lot of other women
have been through this experience,
like a similar one to my own.
So they're just kind of trying to give me advice.
And it's really hard for me because I
am a very committed person.
So when I find someone that I really like or enjoy,
even whenever it comes to work or school or any of that,
I commit myself and I feel like,
definitely during KOSTA, I feel like I was very loyal
and I think I still have been very loyal to Aaron.
And unfortunately, I feel like, you know,
that unfortunately it hasn't been the same on his end
and that does hurt.
And I really appreciate everyone supporting me
and being there for me.
But yeah, yeah, it's definitely a tough situation.
Has he told you anything else that happened in CASA?
Now that cameras are down, now that it's just you and him, the world isn't watching, has he been like, alright?
Yeah, so honestly, no.
I believe that. Yeah, yeah, so he's like,
we just have to watch it back together,
we just have to watch it back together,
and I'm like, honestly, I don't know
if I wanna watch this back with you.
And why do you think he wants to watch it back together
with you?
Probably to explain himself.
Yeah.
That's a nice way of putting it, yeah.
Yeah.
I think just to explain himself
and maybe like try to
distract me from being very angry at him.
He seems to be really good at that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I just feel like I know that I'm missing some things.
And like, even in the villa,
I feel like I've gave him the chance to spill all to me.
Said, Erin, please.
Like, he's like, well, I don't remember.
I'm like, well, I need you
to remember.
Do you believe that he doesn't remember?
No, that's such a lousy excuse. You can't say you don't remember just because it's not
important to you because it's not your feelings getting hurt.
Yes.
Yeah. When you said, you didn't tell me about the shower comment, and he's like, I don't
remember everything I said to her. Well, sure, well, sure, you don't remember like the,
you know, what did you do?
What did you know?
Like, what did you do before you came here?
What was your summer like last summer?
Like those conversations about asking her
to take a shower with you, like you had to remember that.
Yeah, and I think I even said like,
this is something that I need you to remember.
So if you forget, like, I think that you're just
allowing yourself to forget because you
don't want to acknowledge that you fucked up.
Deal with the repercussions.
Right.
So to me, what I forget is like the most piss poor excuse I've ever heard.
And like that...
Like it happened two days ago.
Should we check you for early Alzheimer's?
Yeah, no.
And he's like, I'm just a forgetful person, Kayla.
I'm like, you can't forget things like that.
Like you cannot forget things like that.
I remember whenever I was, you know, even in the villa
and prior to Casa, when Aaron returned,
I was talking with Jaylen during like the,
my villa experience.
And I remember Jaylen like put his hand on my thigh
and I think I kissed him on the cheek.
I told Aaron to every little finger he laid on my body.
And I didn't forget that because I knew
that that would be valuable for him to know.
Right.
And like, can-
Because you're considerate.
Yes, I was just gonna get there.
Like I feel like him just forgetting
is just him being ignorant in a way.
So yeah.
You know, even listening to you talk right now,
it's like, I think your biggest fans, even right now,
and I hope you never go online or read,
and not because I'm trying to scare you,
like I just think to protect your mental health,
Nellie and I every day are just always challenging
each other to just enjoy what we have in front of us,
not go online, not look at comments, you know.
It never ends, so I hope you show that strength.
I'm not trying to freak you out.
You have a lot of love out there, a lot of people love you.
But for the people who are criticizing you, I don't even think they don't like you. You know what I'm not trying to freak you out. You have a lot of love out there. A lot of people love you. But for the people who are criticizing you,
I don't even think they don't like you.
You know what I'm saying?
I don't think it's just like, oh, we don't like Kayla.
I think honestly, it's,
I think some of your biggest fans right now,
they're not upset with you.
They're just, like you said, they feel with you.
And I think a lot of people relate to you
in your vulnerability.
I think a lot of people watched you fall for Erin
and then like, I've been in her shoes before,
I'm in her shoes right now.
And you have such great instincts.
I don't know if you're, from what I'm saying,
like your instincts seem great, you know?
Like my favorite part of you this season,
can you guess what it was?
No, honestly I can't.
It was right when you got the text about Kasa.
And when you were like, if he fucking moves like that,
I don't want anything to do with him.
And I've like, I've never heard someone say that.
First time that I thought it sounded cool.
I was like, that's fucking dope.
I'm like, I wanna use that shit.
If like, he fucking moves like that,
but like, you were so sure of yourself.
You know, like you knew exactly what needed to happen.
You know, and I think a lot of people saw this,
what you come across as demure and gentle and emotional.
And we love all that, right?
And I think a lot of people are used to seeing gentle
and demure and confusing with someone who doesn't know
how to stand up for themself.
And you did in that moment.
And you looked like a boss.
Thank you.
That means so much to me because a lot of the comments
I am getting is like, have a backbone, stand up for yourself. Like I think just like even like after call
someone, Aaron return, love Serena to death. She's such a bad bitch and she stood up there
and she gave it to him. And I feel like I could have been stronger with my words with
Aaron, but I'm just not the type to be like, fuck you. You fucked up. Like I'm just like
really not that type, especially when my emotions are involved.
Like, it's hard for me to do that.
And I think that this experience has helped me with that.
And it's gonna continue to help me acknowledge,
like, whenever you love someone,
it can be hard to like actually like be very pissed
and mad at them.
And you, like I found myself almost making excuses
sometimes for Erin as well.
But yeah, I just feel like
that is a big thing that I need to work on
because I do wear my heart on my sleeve
and sometimes I just find the best in everyone
and it definitely bites me in the ass.
Sure, I mean, we live and we learn.
It's like I'm talking to you now
and I'm having a lot of people listening.
I think we all have what we want for you
and we don't know your life.
I've never met Aaron.
We don't know your guys' connection.
And I feel like honestly, if I were in your shoes right now,
if I were you in your life,
I would do exactly what you're doing.
I would.
Even I can sit here and have a lot of opinions
about your and Aaron's relationship
or Aaron as a boyfriend potentially,
but I don't wanna sound like it's coming from a place
of judgment or you're doing it wrong
or how could you be so stupid or things like that.
I've been you, I know what I would,
I would absolutely do exactly what you're doing.
And it wouldn't matter, and I'm very convincing of myself.
I can convince myself it's not a big deal.
So it's not like that. It's just more I think we see, you know, again, your instincts and
and then we see like myself. I feel like I have good instincts but I'm also very good at convincing
myself my instincts can be wrong because I'm good at convincing myself what I want, you know, and
what I want isn't often what I need, you know. Yeah, I feel like even like during Koss, like you
keep saying instincts, like I knew deep down
like that he was going to like move that way in Kasa.
What made you think that?
Just like, oh fuck, I don't want to like shit on Aaron right now, but I just feel like I
had a feeling since I know like how lovey-dovey he is and how like flirty he is, like I had
that feeling that he was going to be
like that in CASA and we had multiple conversations which I'm sure you guys didn't see prior to
CASA and I would be in the bed at night and I'd be like, I think CASA's tomorrow. Like
I have this feeling that CASA's gonna be tomorrow. You have nothing to worry about. Like we're
open but you have nothing to worry about like all of this stuff. Then again like part of
me was like Aaron would be the last person to do that. Like he's my best friend. He would never want to hurt me like in that way. But two, like I just
never, I thought that what we had was way better than I think what I anticipated because whenever
he came back I feel like oh then he had just realized like he actually had love for me and
unfortunately it had to be in a way of kissing another girl and all of that stuff
which um yeah so I just feel like we were on two different pages before Costa and I feel like that
wasn't discussed and communicated like in the best way between the two of us and like I'm sure you
guys seen like before Costa he was like I'm feeling love for you so I think that yeah I mean I'm sure
we'll get into it but it's just, I feel like my definition of love
and his definition of love are two different things.
Let me fair.
What do you think his definition of love is?
I see, I don't know.
And I feel like I don't know because like,
I keep thinking about, I keep going back to Koss
and I'm sorry, but it was just such a huge experience
for me on the show. Yeah, don't apologize.
But I just feel like, you know, if you love someone,
you don't wanna kiss another girl
and you don't want to flirt with another girl
and you don't wanna make another girl breakfast
and you don't wanna make up a handshake
that we've had together with another girl
and you don't wanna ask another girl to shower with you
after you begged me for weeks to shower with you.
So I just feel like that's not love.
And whenever I love someone very loyal
and very committed to them.
Since I love Aaron,
I wasn't gonna go in the villa
and go make out with Jalen.
Even though,
because this is after I found out about the video,
I saw that he was like kissing other girls and stuff.
And a part of me wanted to be petty
and just make out with Jalen.
But I also just had to like,
you know, be true to myself.
And I couldn't like do, tit for tat situation.
Like, but yeah, I just feel like whenever you love someone,
you don't disrespect them.
And you respect their feelings.
And unfortunately, he did not during CASA, so.
Do you think you deserve someone who loves you
the same way you love them?
Yes. Yes, I feel like a lot of people are even saying,
like, Kayler, you need to realize your worth, like you need to value yourself.
And I do think like I really deserve like the best.
But honestly, I just had like one other relationship prior to this one.
So what was that like? It was very bad.
So I don't really have a good example of like what a good like love story is like
and also what a good relationship is like.
So yeah, but I'm going gonna challenge you there a little bit
because you do have good instincts.
You're a major in psychology.
That doesn't mean necessarily that you're,
but like even talking to you now,
like again, you know what you deserve.
Like you know how to talk about very articulately
about love and feelings and things like that.
So I've had a lot of bad relationships before.
I give relationship advice all the time,
but it's not based off of my track record
in terms of decisions I've made.
Every time I've been in a relationship
that didn't go my way, I was just willing to learn.
And I've had some really tough situations.
So even though you had a relationship that didn't work out,
I guess my question to you is like,
what did you learn from that relationship?
Because I'm assuming a lot of things happened, right?
And I'm assuming there were a handful of tears and moments where you were down bad and crying to your mom
and your friends and it didn't go your way
and you broke up, but you probably learned
a handful of situations about what you didn't want
in your next relationship.
I'm really curious about what those were.
Yeah, so with my ex, one thing he was was loyal, surprisingly.
So we were in a very toxic relationship, but it was more so like, you can't wear that. And he was was loyal, surprisingly. So we were in a very toxic relationship,
but it was more so like, you can't wear that.
And he was a very insecure man and like,
didn't want me to go out with my girlfriends
and wasn't like, oh, wow, your ass looks amazing.
Like, he would be like, put that away.
You can't wear that bathing suit.
If you post a picture on Instagram,
you better tag me in your posts.
Like, just very, very toxic.
And at this time time I was like 20
years old like so you know it it was harsh but one thing he was was loyal so
I feel like I've never had yeah this is my first time ever experiencing
something like this because with my ex yes he was very toxic but if I would
have gave him the opportunity he would have proposed tomorrow to me so he was
like ready to settle down and all of that but he wanted me to be housewife and that's not what I like. I hated that. And that's what
you know, I think I value the most about Aaron is he embraces who I am. And he's like, get
up on the bar and dance, sing karaoke with me, embarrass yourself and I'll embarrass
myself with you. Yeah. And he will be like, damn, you look amazing. That's my girl. Like,
you know, so I think that's what I really do value about Aaron and like what
stood out to me the most, um, comparison to my, you know, last relationship.
And that makes a lot of sense.
Yeah.
Especially at being kind of your next serious relationship.
I remember my first girlfriend.
Yeah.
I'm not that religious these days, but I grew up very religious, you know, in a
religious household and then I was, then I was 18, 19 years old
and she wasn't that religious.
We fought about a bunch of different things.
We did it for many years, but my next girlfriend,
and she was like, I'll go to church with you.
And I'm like, oh my God, this is amazing.
And so just for her to bring a lot of the things
I didn't get in my last relationship,
I remember really focusing on that and it meant a lot.
Unfortunately, it also meant that I kind of dismissed
a lot of other things in that relationship
that were going on that I ignored
because I was just so happy to finally be with someone
who wanted to do certain things with me
that my last partner didn't.
Right.
And do you feel like there's a chance
in your relationship with Aaron that him,
and honestly, that's a great quality that he has.
Like for you to allow you to be yourself and not,
I mean, God, we've all been in relationships
where you feel like, what am I doing wrong this time?
You know, what the fuck, you know?
And Aaron, despite maybe some of his faults,
like allows you to really truly feel like you're not,
you can do whatever and he won't judge you.
Now I'm seeing him like that.
That's why even like after class, I'm like, listen you wanted to kiss a girl you be yourself you do that because I feel like he
Is very much so like just do you like be genuine like be yourself?
And that's what I really value about Aaron, but I definitely have my doubts
Yeah about Aaron. Yeah, I think we're very relieved to hear you say that. You know, because at least you're going,
like if, I don't know, I just met you,
but like if you were, if we were best friends,
or if you were my sister, you know?
I'm not gonna tell you who you should date
or who you shouldn't date, you know?
I would just want for my, the people I care about
to just go into a situation, like,
at least with eyes wide open.
Yeah.
You know, because like, I think it's great to take risks. I take risks all the time. I take risks there
It's just like this is definitely maybe like not like it's I don't know what's gonna work out
But like you have sometimes we just have to say fuck it and give it a shot and sometimes learn on our own
Yeah, and at least if we're willing to know that we are taking risks
I think the concern sometimes is to convince ourselves that it isn't.
Like, oh, it's gonna be great, everything's fine,
but you seem to be going into this,
at least with eyes wide open.
Yeah, so I'm 22, so I know that I have a,
I have a lot of time to fall in love, break up,
fall in love with another person, hook up with them,
kiss a bunch of men, experience, and I think that's what's so valuable, especially before love with another person, hook up with them, hook up with, like, kiss a bunch of men,
experience, and I think that's like what's so valuable,
especially before you do settle down,
is to have like those experiences.
So I think that's also why I'm just like,
yeah, this is a huge risk I'm taking with Erin,
and, but that's okay, because I'm 22 years old,
I'm allowed to take these risks,
and these risks are gonna help help me down the line.
You know, it's going to show me what I do and do not want in a relationship. And yeah, it could
work out, but I'm 22 years old. The chances of that happening are very slim. But yeah, I'm like,
I was telling someone the other day, I was like, you know, like I'm young, I'm supposed to experience
heartbreak. I'm supposed to experience these challenges. Because if I don't, then I'm young, I'm supposed to experience heartbreak, I'm supposed to experience these challenges,
because if I don't, then I'm not going to like,
whenever I do find my husband someday and I do settle down,
I'm not gonna be able to like have those experiences
to go off of.
So I feel like, you know, with Erin,
it's definitely a huge, huge risk that I'm taking
and I'm really freaking scared, but we'll see.
We'll see what happens.
I think everything happens for a reason,
so even if this doesn't turn to work out,
then I feel like it's in my life to show me something
and it has perfect.
So.
That makes a lot of sense.
Yeah.
I know you haven't watched yet.
Have any of your friends or your mom
pointed out certain things that they either saw or heard.
We've had some of your castmates on. Um,
we've asked a lot of questions about like what happened.
We read your mom's Facebook posts. Oh gosh.
She seemed pretty committed to you guys not staying together.
And then obviously you met Erin, uh, you know, online,
but like have you heard anything and how, like, do you wanna know? Like if, like if.
Yeah, you guys wanna spill the tea so we can
get some of that away from this.
I might cry.
I didn't wanna say, I don't know if this is the place.
Yeah, so I, immediately whenever I got my phone back,
I called my mom and I was seeing storms,
like your mom's been getting crazy on Facebook.
I'm like, damn mom, when have you been a Facebook mom?
Because she was never a Facebook mom
whenever I was growing up.
And I feel like her watching everything unfold,
the reason why she was making so many Facebook posts is like,
that was kind of like her ranting to me.
But instead she's ranting to the whole world.
And I was like, mom, like seriously,
now you're just making the situation worse.
Because now people are like, yeah,
and Kayla's mom said this and she said this. I'm like, you're feeding into it, mother.
Like, chill, please chill. And she was like, I'm sorry, baby. I just had to. Like, and then my
friends, you know, I called one of my first girlfriends and she was like, yeah, I don't
really like Aaron. But I can't straight up. She's like, is he there? Because I'll tell him.
But I can't straight up. She's like, is he there? Because I'll tell him.
Chill. But yeah, they've been just the one thing that I have been hearing now, like after obviously there's things that I found out in the villa that he didn't tell me. But like, I guess maybe he tried
to like hook up with Daniela and Casa or something along those lines, I think was said. I'm not sure
if it was said on the show, but I know that it was said afterwards.
So people have been coming to me and being like,
you know Erin, like try to get in her pants.
And yeah, that's like, I guess.
You called her Kaylor while doing it.
Oh my gosh.
Sorry, I thought you were Kaylor.
Was that on the thing?
That's what Sydney said.
That's what Sydney said.
Daniella said to her.
Yeah, which is even worse, like honestly.
Well, it's just worse in the fact
that you were on his mind.
So he was thinking about you in those moments
and still decided to do it.
He said, sorry, I thought you were a Kailer.
Yeah, no, I think that's so, so, so inappropriate.
And I feel like that is just something that's,
sexually, it's a whole different level as well and I think I
even said on the show like Aaron like you had an erection from this girl like
you know like and I don't want to like judge him for like being him and I don't
want to like harp on that experience for him it's all about his experience. Yeah, we know. He's made that very clear.
He is allowed to have his own.
Yes, but I just feel like the way he was moving in Casa was so disrespectful.
Sexually, it's on a whole different level as well.
And for you to do that whenever we didn't even really do that in the villa
and for you to try that with another girl girl it's like really like it really fucking suck like it really does
it's also i think adds a completely new layer to it the fact that he didn't tell you and
you and still hasn't because like he definitely remembers like trying to reach into her pants
and like right he definitely remembers that so the fact that he's like no like maybe he
doesn't think it aired maybe he doesn't think it aired,
maybe he doesn't think anyone knows about it.
But that's how it comes off.
Because why wouldn't you just let you know
so that you can process that together?
He was hoping, it's like he didn't know
what was gonna be shown or talked about.
And he was just gonna wait to figure out
what he had to deal with.
And then once he figured out what he had to deal with,
then he was gonna deal with it,
and kind of talk you out of it.
He's clearly a very charming, very good looking.
I get, like, you know what my least favorite part of you was?
And I'm not saying this with judgment.
Because I get it.
He seems like a person who is, in fact,
hard to be mad at.
In general.
But when you said to him, I can't be mad at you,
it was like, oh fuck no.
It was the opposite of the strength we saw.
It was like, you don't even realize,
you're telling him in the future that when he is,
has a choice between considering your feelings
or considering his, he knows you're gonna forgive him.
And it's like letting him off the hook.
And when we know we can get away with things
as human beings, we just do it again.
And he seems like a guy as great and as wonderful
of a friend he might be, who is just kinda used
to having people not stay mad at him.
And it's almost like his storming.
And I think that's where, have you wondered,
because like, Cordell made a lot of similar moves in CASA
and yet they are Love Island's favorite couple.
They won.
And it obviously must have hurt your feelings,
because we all have egos and we know that at the end of the day,
it's not all about winning.
But like you knew that America wasn't voting for the both of you.
Yeah.
And have you wondered why or has it upset you why people have seen Cordell and Serena
differently than they've seen you and Erin?
Yeah, so I feel like it doesn't really upset me.
I feel like I honestly see where they're coming from,
if I'm being honest.
And what do you see?
I feel like a huge aspect was because Cordell
took ownership and he owned it,
and he took accountability and he didn't dismiss her.
I think that's exactly what America saw
in Serena and Cordell.
And also Serena gave him a little bit like a run for his money
And you know I gave in really quickly and I think that
America watching was like damn Kaylor like you folded really quick and they probably didn't they definitely were probably like a
little pissed at me because you know whenever
You see like your partner doing something like that like I wanted to in the place in the moment
I was telling live I was like there's probably so many girls watching this at home
who are going through, you know, a similar thing.
And I don't wanna be someone who like just gives into it.
I want them to like look back and be like,
damn, she did her thing.
But in the villa, it's really hard to do that
because you guys see only 10% of, you know,
every single day.
So I feel like with Aaron,
a lot of it is giggly and goofy and fun.
And it was hard to stay mad at him also
because he was one of my best friends in there.
And he's like who I would go to about everything.
So that was definitely difficult.
And I feel like I am definitely in regret
that I didn't give him a harder time
and I held him more accountable for his things and actions.
But just to offer you grace,
I think he makes it very hard to do that.
Yeah, he does.
And I think he's good at that.
The storming off, he's good at making himself the victim
of a situation.
He was the victim.
I was like, let me play my violin for you.
Like... like when you
care about someone like you cared about or you care about it it's very easy for
us to watch this back and judge you and say oh why didn't you do this there and
but I've again I've been you and I've been in relations people similar to
Aaron right and when they're your support system and they're your best
friend and you see them upset your instincts tell you to take care of them.
And so that's the difficult part.
And that's the situation I feel like
where Aaron isn't getting enough criticism
where he put you in that situation
to not allow you to follow your instincts.
And I feel like even when he got up and left,
I was like, I wanted to to be like sit your ass down and
Fucking take it like a man. Yeah, sit here. And yes, we're all gonna go have like have a go at you But sit here and fucking take it don't get up and take the easy route
So like that really pissed me off. But also I just feel like sorry. I lost my train of thought. I'm like getting angry
Yeah, I just feel like he definitely didn't get a,
have a good job at like doing that.
And he knows how to make me laugh and giggly.
And even after Kasa and the first recoupling night,
whenever I was like, I chose to be single,
he was up in Seoul Thai sleeping.
And it's like the very first night from him being back.
And when you don't see someone for four days, you know,
even though he had me so pissed,
it was so weird because I was excited to like see him and I was excited to see that he came
back single after all of that.
So it was like part of me was I had excitement to like see him after like not seeing him
and after crying every day because I missed him and I missed my best friend.
So whenever he came back, I also even though I was mad at him, I think that I missed him
so much, which kind of outweighed how angry I was.
And also, it really excited that he didn't bring back a girl.
But he did convince Rob to bring back the girl he was with, which I felt like is another
example of just him not thinking about you and being considered of your feelings because he's like no
Let me push the girl that she just watched me make out with and make her live in a house with her
Yeah, I think that that definitely it was not like that didn't process through his brain
I think there's a lot of you know instances where Aaron just did not consider me and like it did not consider my feelings.
Yeah, so whenever Rob did bring Daniela back, I looked at Liv and I'm not sure if this was
aired or if it made the edit, but I was like, oh my gosh.
No, you were like, yay!
You were so happy to see Rob brought back someone.
Liv was like, I think that's the girl that Erin was with.
Yeah, so I immediately thought I was like, once I found out that it was Daniela,
I was like, oh my gosh, did Rob bring her back
for maybe Erin as well so he could pick his options?
Like, I was just going through everything
and I didn't even notice it was her.
I didn't even notice it was Daniela.
And I'm sitting there like clapping
because I'm so excited for my friend
to finally find a girl.
And then they're like, that is Daniela.
And I was like, oh, this is going to be great, you know?
It was a very awkward situation for me and it still is.
And I think even whenever like, you know,
Erin and I after KOSA were having conversations
with like Rob and Daniela, it felt really awkward to me.
And like all that was going through my mind
was the things that I saw.
And I absolutely love Daniela.
She was such a great person.
And I know she like feels for me in the whole situation
and she feels bad for everything.
Yeah, it's not her fault.
Yeah, no.
And like the last thing I'm going to do is be angry
at the girls involved because she is there for her experience
and she has every right to, you know, make use of that
and like find her connections and explore those.
And I really feel I felt bad for her
when she was feeling bad for me,
because I was like, do not feel bad,
because you weren't in the wrong.
Erin was completely, you know,
in the wrong in that situation.
I do wish she would have also apologized to you
on her exit.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that was, the only thing that was kind of weird.
She was like, I'm so sorry, Erin.
And it's like, Erin, I'm sorry, Erin.
Yeah.
We were like, and, Haler?
No, okay, okay, got it.
Yeah.
Honestly, I didn't even see that she apologized to Erin.
So it's like the first time I'm seeing that I'm hearing this.
But yeah, I feel like she apologized to me a lot.
So I feel like maybe she already felt like she did that
and she didn't need to, you know, in her defense. I feel like she had said she was sorry to me a million times.
Have you ever felt like, or even said to Erin that I wish you considered my thoughts and
feelings the same way you consider Rob's? Or like, could you love me like you love Rob?
Yeah, no, now like after leaving the villa, I'm seeing like all the edits and stuff and I'm like,
oh shit, like wow. There are times where like he's crying over Rob potentially leaving and there's
like times where like I may not be with you and you're sitting there like looking off like into
the distance. Yeah, no it was.
And like that definitely, you know, does hurt because it's like how can you be so worked up
about your friend? But then whenever it comes to me, you just you're not as emotional.
That was like movie night where him seeing the things and him shutting down with you being like,
dude, it was my experience. Like, don't be upset with me.
But he was so vocal whenever he had a chance to talk about Rob.
And I'm like, you're so passionate about this. Like, where is that? Where is that?
Like, where where is that missing? Why? Why aren't you like, why aren't you the same way with me?
And I don't know, I just feel like he is such a hard person
to understand and I still don't understand the kid.
Do you think he's that complicated or maybe you're,
is it possible?
Maybe I have my love goggles on.
Yeah, like maybe it's possible you,
listen, you care about the guy.
Yeah.
And I know, I don't wanna fault,
like again, I don't wanna seem like
we're coming at you for that.
Like, and again, I have no doubt that Erin has
a long list of amazing qualities.
I hope I get a chance to meet him.
I bet I'm gonna meet him like,
you fucking charming motherfucker.
Like, I have no doubt, you know what I'm saying?
But like, yeah, it's just more like,
Erin came for love and he found love.
It was just with Rob, it feels like, you know it's just more like Aaron came for love and he found love. It was just with Rob.
Yep, feels like you know, and it's like and he cares about you. He likes you right and he thinks you're great
You know, he's down to like keep this going outside of the villa
But at the end of the day if he had to pick it feels like to everyone. Yeah, it would be Rob
Yeah, no, I I like partially agree
Like I agree with you like I feel like that was the most valuable to him
like he liked that the most about I feel like that was the most valuable to him.
Like he liked that the most about this experience
and that does suck because, you know,
even though I love live to bits and pieces
and she was also a huge part of my experience this summer,
but also like ultimately I'm so glad that like I met Erin,
even after everything that I've seen
and everything that has unfolded,
I still will say to this day that the one thing I'm most happy about is being introduced to Aaron.
And yeah, it definitely sucks watching the moments of him being so upset with Rob.
And there was even one point where he was like, when Rob was saying he was going to leave,
and he was like, I'm going to leave.
And if Rob leaves, I'm going to leave with him.
And I took him and I said,
Aaron, are you here to find friendship?
What do you mean by that?
And I'm pretty sure, I'm not sure if this made it in,
but I was like, why are you saying
you're gonna leave with your bro
whenever you would just leave me here back in the villa?
What does this mean to you?
And then he was just like, like oh I was just saying that
because I want to try to get Rob to stay so um yeah I think that's the first point where I was
like oh shit like that was very early on as well and I was like oh shit like he would actually
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That's V-I-A-L-L-F-I-L-E-S.
We've talked to The Live,
we've talked to Cordell and Serena,
we've talked to some other of your cast mates.
Yesterday we talked to Cordell and Serena
and you could tell again, they love you, they love Erin.
Obviously there's a bond between the whole group.
So no one wants to talk shit.
I think the phrase Serena used was,
you're dangerously in love with that man.
Liv also, you could tell they all care about you,
they all care about Erin as a person.
And I think all your friends have just a real concern
for how this is gonna play out for you.
And I guess my question to you is,
as someone who, I think it's really refreshing
to have you sit here, you're so self-aware,
you seem really, again, you're not lying to yourself.
Right here, you're just like,
I don't know what to think of him,
I don't know what's gonna happen.
You're not sitting here being like,
I'm gonna marry this man.
Eyes wide open.
You're not defending his actions. happen, you're not sitting here being like, I'm gonna marry this man, like you, eyes wide open. You're not defending his actions.
Yeah, you're not defending him.
Is there a world in which you listen to your friends
and you don't put yourself through,
because like despite being with eyes wide open
and despite like being self-aware,
at the end of the day, if you go forward and you say,
I'm gonna see this relationship through, I'm gonna try,
it won't matter what you're saying to us now or what you're saying to yourself or what you're saying and you say, I'm gonna see this relationship through, I'm gonna try, it won't matter what you're saying to us now
or what you're saying to yourself
or what you're saying to your friends,
you're just gonna fall more in love
and you're just gonna care more about him
and you're gonna become more invested.
And it's just gonna make the moving on
if you're ever forced to move on so much harder.
And I know your friends and certainly we won't be like,
we fucking told you, no.
Like, again, I've been you,
I would do exactly what you're doing.
You know what I'm saying?
And I don't know if I could convince myself not to do
what I would do if I were you,
but have you thought about that?
Have you thought about what if I just don't put myself
through this and let Aaron show me without committing to him
as a partner that
like maybe we'll be friends or whatever, but like maybe he has some growing up to do as
a man before he's really able to give me the type of love and affection I know I'm willing
to give him and I know I'm going to give him.
And if you can doubt his ability to do that today, why would you put yourself through
that? Wow, Nick.
You're getting deep today.
Now, I feel like it's a very hard question to answer
because I don't know why,
because it would be very easy for me to just be like,
okay, Erin, we're done.
Don't wanna talk to you.
My friends don't like you.
My mom has her thoughts.
But I just know that there is something there and I think that, yes, maybe so.
We don't have to be like boyfriend and girlfriend to like see if things may work.
I am really scared of getting hurt, but I am young and I need to experience this.
And if it blows up in my face, it does and I'll learn from it.
And I'll take it. I'll take it for my next relationship or
whatever is going to happen. But yeah, hearing what everyone else has to think and say, you know,
it does mean a lot and I do cherish what my friends and my mom's thinking and all that.
And I think it's just because they're really worried and concerned and they know how emotional
I am and they know that I have a huge heart. So I'm scared. I think they're just scared to see me
hurt. And they know that the more time I spend with Aaron,
and like you said, the more experiences I have with him,
the deeper I'm going to fall,
and the harder it's gonna be to let go
when it does happen.
Do you think, and we within reason,
but do you think you can, and don't be humble here,
but do you think you can get anyone you want?
Not, you're a celebrity, you're an attractive person,
you know, like objectively,
if it was like Erin versus anyone else.
I feel like you-
Kaila.
I don't think you realize you're,
like what are, like a athlete or something,
or like a movie star.
Let her experience Erin and learn,
and she will, maybe they'll get married and he'll change,
and he'll be the best partner ever.
I just, I want you to leave here knowing
that you can have anything you want
and you deserve anything you want.
And I think there are a lot of shitty guys out there,
but there's a lot of great guys.
And if you're willing, whether it's Erin or someone else,
you can have your dreams come true.
And I want you to believe that.
Thank you.
Yeah, no, I am so excited to be in love
and be married someday and have a huge family and all of that.
But yeah, I feel like I'm not realizing.
My friends always say to me, you're not
realizing your worth, Kayla.
You don't know your worth.
You don't know how valuable you are.
You're such a loyal partner.
And it's hard to find that.
And I think even now, more so, like you said,
you think it would be easy for me to now go out and be like, oh more so like you would like you said you think
it would be easy for me to now go out and be like oh I can get this I can get that and
honestly it doesn't feel like that at all like I don't know I just feel like I've had
a very hard time with men in the past even after my ex you know I've had situationships
and they always blew up in my face and I'm a very closed off person which may be very
surprising to hear but when I do like you know talk to men usually I'm a very closed off person, which may be very surprising to hear, but
when I do like, you know, talk to men usually I'm like, I don't really give them the time
of day because I don't want to be hurt. So I feel like this experience, I don't know.
And then with Aaron, I just feel like, yeah, I'm just, I don't know, I'm scared, but I'm
just going to risk it, I guess.
Okay.
Yeah.
Can I ask, how are you and Aaron navigating
your relationship?
Did he fly back to the UK?
Is he here?
Are you guys doing,
cause you guys have time difference.
Are you boyfriend and girlfriend?
Yeah, we are.
We still are.
I just feel like even after the villa,
we're not really having those serious, serious chats
about boyfriend and girlfriend and stuff. We're kind of having those serious, serious chats about boyfriend and girlfriend and
stuff. We're kind of just going to the grocery store and experiencing things. But yes, Aaron
flew back with me. He is in LA. We were staying in the same hotel. I just left him this morning
to come here. And yeah, so he'll be in LA this week. And he's his first time in America. So
instead of having those chats
we've had for the last two months of our lives,
I'm like, I don't wanna talk about my feelings right now.
Let's go to the Hollywood side.
That's kind of where we are right now,
but I feel like the more this brings up
and the more I look at my phone,
if I'll see an edit, I'll be like,
Erin, what the fuck?
I'm gonna crash it.
I didn't mean to say that. I really didn't mean to say see an edit I'll be like Erin what the fuck like I really didn't mean to say that but actually can you say it Erin what the
fuck what the actual fuck Erin you fuck me over
oh my gosh I'm saying like a clip of me being like, you know what, fuck you, Erin, and fuck you, Casa.
You do, you do, you do.
Oh my gosh.
Can we talk about the hot mic situation?
Speaking of Erin being inconsiderate, the phone call.
Leah, you know.
Oh, the Leah thing?
Yeah.
Yes, I was like, wait, what are you talking about?
Yes, I actually really wanna talk about this.
I feel like I've been having a lot of questions and I knew I was coming on this podcast today
So I kind of like been holding off to like make any comments about it today. So yeah, thank you for giving us
Another consideration
Taylor what a thoughtful queen
So yeah, so what happened obviously we know that Erin was doing a Q&A, it seems like you're in the
background on the phone with a friend on speakerphone
clearly talking about your experience.
Which I was, yeah.
Which is human, but it sounded as if someone said the words,
no one's gonna care about Leah in six months or fuck her.
I don't know what, what?
Was that something?
Nobody's gonna give a fuck about Leah in six months.
Okay, yeah.
Yes.
The floor is yours.
Yeah, so I was actually on the phone
with one of my friends back home
and it was a FaceTime call.
Okay.
And the way the conversation started out
was I was talking about to one of my good friends at home
that you know all the hate and the things I've been experiencing online and they are coming from
specific comments made in the villa and stuff like that and she was basically just saying you know
no one's gonna give a fuck about Leah in six months because of like you know things that
are being said and like more so the drama aspect of it.
I don't think that she necessarily met Leah,
but I think that she just met the whole situation.
And as a friend, she was just trying to be there for me.
The basis of the conversation wasn't like,
oh, I don't like Leah or this and that.
It was just a comment that she made in the villa
towards me kind of blew up online.
So.
What comment was that?
It was just the white girl scared,
or white woman scared.
So people were just coming to my comments being like,
you're a white woman that's privileged and stuff like that.
And to my best friend, I was opening up to her about that.
I was like, they're coming for me about this comment.
And she was saying, no one's gonna give a fuck about Leah
in six months because that comment was made from Leah in the villa.
And I've had so many like comments in my Instagram about that comment.
And I've been getting a lot of hate like saying, I'm white and privileged and I'm a young female.
So I was saying to her, like, do you think like, do you think this?
And I was upset.
And I think in a way she was saying that to kind of cheer me up.
And I don't think that's the best way to go about things and I think that she could have gave me her opinion in a way
More positive light. I don't think you know being there for someone is necessarily putting someone else down
And I don't agree with that and I absolutely love Leah
I think everyone's gonna care about her for a long time and I know I will myself
I think everyone's gonna care about her for a long time. And I know I will myself,
but I feel like that clip that you guys saw as well
is like just the worst clip of the entire conversation.
For sure.
Have you had a chance to talk to her?
I have.
So we, Leah and I actually left Fiji together.
We went to the airport together.
And the first thing I told her was like the entire situation
and you know, why my friend was like, you know,
saying that and where
that came from and why that conversation even came about. And she was so understanding and
that's what I love so much about Leah is that she sat there and instead of being like, fuck
you, like, I don't understand, like you were probably egging it on. She took it and she
was like, Taylor, like, please don't worry about it. Like, I understand. And that to
me means the world because it would be easy for her to be like,
why are you saying this?
Like all of this stuff, which I would completely understand
but she heard me out and she listened to me
and she didn't give a shit about it, honestly.
Well, that sounds like the Leo we got to know and love.
It blows my mind, I think the most
because people are saying that you were talking shit
and you're like
this mean girl and whatever without knowing any context of this conversation, right?
And I think we saw you as a person, we saw you on Love Island when you had zero right.
You could have been so fucking petty and we would have been like, hell yeah, she's got
every right to do that.
But when you went up to Daniela and you were like, let's introduce ourselves, she's got every right to do that. But when you went up to Daniella and you were like, let's introduce ourselves, let's make them feel welcome, let's you just watch your man be all
over this girl, but you're like, you know what, no, I want to go to her and I want to make her
feel welcome. That's who you are as a person. I really appreciate that. And like, don't want
to get emotional here, but that like feels so refreshing to say, because like from that comment
that was made, and like now it's surfacing online like it's been really tough for me because like I'm like questioning you know
everything and I'm like I don't want people to think that like I don't like Leah or if
that was me on the phone because people were saying it was me that said it or and it wasn't
Sydney I just want to put that out there but yeah like I've been like really hard on myself
about that which I feel like I should because you know that conversation
Wasn't the best and I like am beating myself up over it and my mom's just like don't do that
Like you weren't the one that said it and like since we are broadcasting like you were talking to your like best friend
And also I said this yesterday in reality recap every single fucking person
Has been showed a photo
of their best friend's ex-boyfriend's new girl.
They're like, oh my god, babe,
look, that's his new girlfriend.
And every single one of us has been like,
she is like, oh my god, you've nothing to worry about,
she's not that cute, she's not this, she's not that.
All of us have done that,
so the fact that people are wanting to throw stones at you.
Or your friend.
Who is just there clearly trying to have your back.
I know we love Leah and we don't want anyone
to talk shit about her, but just putting,
to Nellie's point, putting ourselves
and your and your friend's shit.
Thank you.
It makes sense.
Yeah, so like I said, she was comforting me in a way
and I wanna put a huge emphasis on,
to comfort someone doesn't mean you have to put someone down to do
So so like I don't agree with that and I think that she could have expressed her opinion way more of a positive light
Of course
but like the the thing that's not being like it's like the thing that no one's saying and the quiet thing out loud is that
Like we have these conversations with our friend, especially we were not being recorded
You know and sometimes we joke around or we talk some shit
and we just have some fun,
because it's a private conversation.
And I think you've addressed it
and articulated yourself very well.
I hate that you even have to,
because you shouldn't have been recorded
without your knowledge.
And I don't think Aaron did this deliberately,
but I guess my question to you is,
how much has Aaron acknowledged his role in this?
Listen, whenever I was like, Aaron, what did you post? He's like, I didn't post anything.
I didn't do anything wrong. You were talking right in the background. I was like,
right now, I don't think we realize how big the show is and how people are really listening to
every little detail and everything like that. So I'm kind of trying to explain to him, like even if we're out in public eating at a restaurant,
like don't talk about this shit, like just don't,
because like people are going to like love that,
eat it up and use it as ammo.
Yeah.
And-
Why are you explaining this to him?
He won Traders, like he has experience as a reality TV star.
Yeah.
He has experience as a,
so he hasn't apologized to you for that?
No, he hasn't said like, I'm sorry for doing it.
And I think maybe it's because like I've been like.
Fuck, Erin.
I've just been like really hard on myself.
And I also like, I want Leah to like, yes, she's saying like,
yeah, it's okay.
But I want her to know like in her heart
that like I sincerely like do love her.
And like, I think what's so important is like,
we all, all the Islanders, like we share such a full
experience with each other.
So yeah, I just don't want her to think that I don't like
her because I absolutely love Leah and everyone in the cast.
But it just, yeah, no, he's never apologized about it.
He should.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because like, you know, you were on the phone
and he's doing a Q&A
and like even if you weren't talking about Love Island, maybe you were talking to your banker or
your therapist or your mom or whatever. Imagine if I was saying like my social security number over the phone.
And you're like on speaker and like he can hear you and why is he recording? Oblivious. Just not being considerate.
Yep, yep.
He definitely owes you an apology.
Yeah, yeah.
Do you believe that?
I think so.
I think that yes, I know that he didn't have
any negative intentions with that,
so I feel like that's what I'm seeing more so
than be like, say I'm sorry, but I also,
what I don't like to do, and I hope,
like even on the show, I didn't wanna make him feel like
he had to say sorry to me, because then it's not genuine.
Should he have said he's sorry? Yes.
But I don't wanna be like, Erin, you should have said sorry.
And then, oh, it's, oh, I'm so sorry, Kayla.
Like, it's not coming from a genuine place,
and you're only saying sorry because I made a note of it.
Yeah, but there's a difference between, again,
if we thought that Aaron was a malicious guy,
if we thought that he went into CASA having a plan,
or if we thought that he posted this on purpose,
we would be like, this guy's, ugh.
But clearly we don't think,
there's a difference between not doing it on purpose or I didn't
mean to and just simply like not caring enough to wonder how the things you do in saying
your actions affect the people you claim to care about.
And I think that's where Erin seems to struggle the most.
I agree.
Yeah, and we just worry for you.
Yeah.
That's all.
Yeah.
I worry for you. Yeah. That's all. I worry for myself.
I'm really scared and I don't know
if this is the best thing for me.
I have no idea.
I'm just kinda going with the flow
and taking it day by day and seeing what happens.
But I don't wanna overthink everything.
I just wanna take everything, step at a time
and see what happens.
Well, I think
no matter what happens I'm confident that you're gonna be okay. Thank you.
I may cry a little bit. And we'll be here if you need to cry and if things
don't work out we have a spot right for you to talk about. Oh yeah.
I'll be texting you. Yes, meet me back ASAP. It might be in a couple of days, it might be tomorrow.
It might be right after I leave here
because now I'm like, I haven't, yes, I haven't talked,
like in the villa you talk about your feelings
every single day and since I've been outside of the villa,
I'd be like, no one asked me how I'm doing.
I don't wanna talk about my feelings.
And I think now like this is just bringing things up again
to my like, yeah.
Just trust your instincts.
So now I'm gonna go back to the hotel and be like,
dude, like, come on, man.
Like, seriously.
It's also crazy to me,
and I know this is exactly how the internet fucking works,
but it's like, they're criticizing you for being mean
with your friend, but everyone's being fucking mean to you.
Yeah.
So it's like-
That's the internet.
No, I know, and that 100% is the internet
and it will never get easier seeing stuff about you,
reading, hearing, watching things about you,
but it does get easier to not read it and to ignore it
and to not go looking for it.
And I think it's easier for, you know,
if you're hating, you get more like,
like, you know what I mean?
Like the hating comments, like,
get more attention than the positive ones.
Absolutely.
And I, at this point in time,
definitely have way more negative comments than positive,
which is fine, but I just have to like,
you know, remember who I am,
and I can't like sit down and read all of those,
like, because it can become addicting.
Like, and then I'm like not happy and I need to be happy.
This is such a great experience that like I got to have like the opportunity to be a
part of and I need to like not sit and like be regretful of anything.
And even like, you know, even without the Leah situation, I was, I was getting a lot
of hate prior, like prior to like, you know to not having a backbone, not standing up for yourself.
Kaylor, you're delusional. All of these things, your privilege. A lot of things like that.
Yeah, it's hard. I'm not used to being in this light at all.
I feel like this opportunity has shown me so much about...
I've learned so much about myself
and I know I'm just gonna keep growing and learning
because of this and I think it's only gonna make me stronger.
I'm so sorry that like you've had,
it's fucked up and it never gets easier to read
hateful things about yourself and it's not right
and it's so fucked up that people think it's okay
to say that knowing you're gonna see it
and you're gonna read it or people you love are gonna see that and gonna read it. But I just want you to focus on
the people who do know you and care about you and love you and all of that is such outside noise
that none of it actually matters because these people flip so fucking easily. Leah or anyone can
say like, oh my god well I don't even like peanut butter. And we'll be like, fuck you, are you fucking kidding?
You don't like fucking peanut butter?
Like, we're done.
Like this is how these people work.
And so it's just like, don't take any of this shit to heart.
And your biggest fans will be the quickest to turn on you.
Not because they're not fans anymore,
because they're like, they're disappointed.
You know what I'm saying?
They're easily triggered.
And I've had like a lot.
You'll win them back.
And I've had yeah no I've had a lot of like my it was feels so weird even saying like fans like the
people who like enjoyed watching me they're like I loved you until this moment now I can't fucking
stand you I'm like beautiful you know it's but I just feel like like what my mom says and she's
like just remember like the people who love you
know who you are as a person
and we're not disappointed in you.
Stop beating yourself up about it.
And I think that's what I was most concerned about
is leaving here,
because I am so emotional
and since I wear my heart on my sleeve,
I was really worried that I would take
all the aftermath stuff really badly and harshly.
And I'm glad that I am,
I'm not beating myself as much as I thought I would.
Up about everything.
That's awesome.
Well, I love talking to you.
Again, I think you're gonna be all right.
You're a star.
Thank you.
We love to do this with our guests like you.
We have this thing called texting office hours.
Someone's about to call in,
they're struggling with a relationship.
We offer advice as friends.
You can put your psychology degree on.
We learn through our mistakes.
So like this is, I think you're gonna do great.
And I think you're gonna offer great advice.
Are you ready to do it?
All right.
Yes.
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How's it going?
Hi, my name is Poppy and I'm 27 years old.
How can we help Poppy?
Uh, I am calling in just because my mom is not
excited about my wedding and I don't know what to do.
Why isn't your mom excited about your wedding?
I don't know.
And it's a bit of a long story, but I can try and
explain it as best as possible.
Okay. So, um, my try and explain it as best as possible. Okay.
So my fiance and I got engaged in April
and we've been planning our wedding.
We went on a trip together in May
and just kind of been trying to figure out
what we want to do for our venue and things like that.
But prior to that, two months before,
my sister got engaged and she's six years younger than me.
And it seems like my mom is all wrapped up in her wedding and her planning and everything like that.
And I don't seem to be having the same feedback. And yeah, so I'm just trying to figure out
the best way to try and navigate that. And I've been trying lots of different ways to try and get her involved.
And I just can't seem to get her involved in any way.
So I think back it up a little bit. I think my mom is probably more happy with my sister's
engagement than mine, just because it seems like they're doing it, quote unquote, the right way,
just because I did grow up
in a fairly strict religious household
and my fiance and I are doing it a little bit differently.
So-
What's your mom's relationship with your fiance?
It's super robotic, for lack of a better term.
It seems like she's very welcoming to him.
But then when he's not there, she often says things like she barely knows him.
She doesn't feel close with him at all, even though she's met his parents multiple times.
He has been over a million times to their house.
They always have these like big lunches or dinners
and they always want them to come over
and we've been together for almost five years at this point.
So that I don't understand why she seems like
she doesn't know him.
Does she not make an effort to like ask him questions
about his life or anything?
She does a little bit,
but it's all feels very surface level and nothing more deeper than that.
It's more like, how's your day going? How's your job? Things like that.
So when's your sister's wedding? When's yours?
So my sister's wedding is coming up at the end of August. My wedding is on June of next year.
Okay. So there's a... Do you think maybe part of that is just because your sister's
wedding is just around the corner and then maybe mentally your mom's like, I
can't, I don't have the bandwidth for, for two.
And then do you think maybe she'll immerse herself into yours?
I do kind of agree with that.
However, I wanted to, I wanted to buy my wedding dress, wanted to get my venue
booked kind of like the big chunky stuff, wanted to get my venue booked,
kind of like the big chunky stuff,
just to give some time and then we can have,
be excited about my sister's wedding
and then I can carry on after that.
However, she wouldn't want to come
to look at the venue with me.
She didn't want to come to, I had a florist appointment.
She didn't want to come to that.
She did come to my wedding dress shopping.
However, right before we went in the store,
she kind of asked what my budget was.
And I told her that I talked with the bridal store before
they were super accommodating.
They said there would be no issues.
And she just kind of laughed at me and said,
there would be no way I would find a dress for that
in my budget.
And then I started crying right before the bridal appointment, but
managed to muster through, um, and I had a second appointment that she did come
with, uh, and I did find the dress that I loved, um, however, I guess I
naively had hoped that she would buy the dress and she didn't, uh, she didn't She didn't want to help me with it at all.
However, she did for my sister's whole bridal appointment and everything,
bought it, no questions asked even like during the appointment had said,
what if we up the budget a little bit and like requested the big veil,
things like that. So while yes,
I agree that maybe she's a little overwhelmed
with my sister's wedding,
I just feel like I'm not getting the same experience.
When you said you're not doing it the traditional way,
but your sister is, what does that mean?
My fiance and I are living together.
My parents are fairly religious.
They're not happy about that.
My sister, her and her fiance are living apart
until they get married.
They're getting married in a church.
I wanted to get married outside
and like we found this beautiful outdoor location.
I don't go to the church my parents go to anymore.
That's just a personal preference, my choice.
So it's not that I've completely left
like the Christian faith that they feel that I have.
I just want to do it my own way.
And I feel like it's more of a personal thing for me.
And they always wanna make it this big public spectacle.
And your sister is doing all the things
that you're not doing.
Yes.
Yeah.
That seems to be the reason why.
Yeah.
I think parents have a way of, you know,
showing their disappointment in more passive ways,
especially when we get to be adults.
Then yeah, like obviously it's important to them,
but like I think your mom is giving you the cold shoulder
because of her disapproval for all the things
that you're doing with your fiance.
I guess the big question you gotta ask yourself is,
how much do you actually care?
I would try to put on a brave face
and say that I don't care,
but like in my heart, I really do care.
And it's really hurting me to the point
that it's just like, wow, I really thought
I could live in this exciting time
with my mom being excited for me.
We could go to these appointments together
and have her really involved.
And just by not having that, it has been difficult.
So I guess maybe my better question would be,
how can I cope with this feeling
if there's no way that I can try and get my mom involved?
Have you had conversations with her?
Have you brought any of this up to her?
I have, and I've even like, I've done it by myself first.
And she just kind of turns into like a bit of like
a brick wall and just doesn't wanna have
the conversation with me.
I've expressed my concern with my sister
and we've tried to like come at her with love together
and just really empathized with her, but also tried to tell her that
I do want her involved. I want her to be excited. And she just replies with, I am excited. And
then we'll just carry on with a completely different conversation. Like she doesn't want
to engage in like this wedding conversation with me.
Yeah, which I feel like is hard. I think like every like woman's like wedding day, like you want your
family to be a part of it.
And I think like, even like for like, I know whenever I was a little girl, I
was just dreaming about my big day and like sharing that with, you know, your
mom and like your family.
So I feel like that I feel for you girl.
And I feel like I really hope that it gets better.
Yeah.
Have you asked your mom point blank
if she's disappointed in your choices?
No, I haven't asked her that.
You should.
I mean, I think that's what's going on here.
Your mom is being very passive aggressive.
She has very strong feelings about her faith in religion
as many people do.
Obviously, when we get older
and our parents see us make our own choices,
they want us to do things a certain way
and when we don't do it their way,
they don't necessarily always handle it the best.
And when it comes to things like religion,
I think they are sometimes, they act as if like,
well, if my kid isn't gonna make the same choices
I'm making, they're gonna burn hell or some crazy shit, like they almost like,
they justify how they treat you out of their own fear
of you not doing it wrong.
Or maybe it's how you look to their friends,
but they don't really wanna say that,
so it's easier just to blame it on you
not following their religious beliefs.
But like, I think it might have to be that direct
with your mom, almost like, hey, why aren't you,
you know, like you almost make her answer the question
as to why she is going about your wedding
very differently than your sister's.
I also think it's important to say,
I need my mom right now.
I need you to be my mom,
and this is one of the most important experiences
of my life, and I need you to be a part of it.
I want you to be a part of it.
I want you to be a part of it.
And you can say, I know I don't always make choices
that you agree with, but I still, to Nellie's point,
like I wanna feel like you're proud of me as a person
and I do, you know, and I always, you know,
lead with love, tell your mom and dad,
listen, I know I'm doing things that maybe you don't agree
with, but like who I am as a person,
I owe to all, you know, whatever you do love about me, whatever I am doing that makes you proud,
I owe it to you guys, you know? And so you almost kind of soften her up by how could she be mad at
you for what you're not doing when you're giving her all the credit for all the things that she
does appreciate about you, which I'm sure is still a lot, even though she's not showing it.
So I wonder if you just kinda say that
will almost make her, will soften her up a little bit.
At the end of the day though,
if your mom doesn't come around,
I think you just have to like, knowing your heart that like,
this is about you and your husband and your fiance.
And like, if your mom's gonna be disappointed
that you live with him before you get married, that's her problem.
And at the end of the day,
you can't let your mom's disappointment and shame
affect your wedding.
Because you guys will get through this eventually.
When? I don't know.
Hopefully before your wedding, but you'll get through it.
She's your mom, she loves you, you love her.
But what you don't want is to make this even worse
by acting as if your mom is going
to make or break how much you enjoy your wedding. Yeah, no, that makes total sense. And I know I've
been trying to work through it already. Like even with my therapist, I've, we've hammered this
conversation hundreds of times at this point. And I'm just like, I, I'm having a hard time coping
with it. And I guess part of me was already a little fearful that she was doing this. And now that I guess like my fears are coming true, like when my fiance moved in,
my parents had offered to help with the move. But then instead, in the same sentence, they offered
to help with the move, but then they booked a trip that they would be gone exactly the week he was
moving in. So it was kind of like a little bit of a backhanded thing.
And I'm just like worried that something similar like that
might happen leading up to the wedding.
Not that they will still probably show up, I would think.
But I just, I don't know how to make myself
not care about that on my wedding.
I want to be able to like be free from that fear
and just be excited about it with me and my fiance.
I don't think you need to cope with it right now.
I think you cope with it after your mom confirms
your feelings and says like, yeah, you know what?
I don't support you living with him
and I don't wanna help you with your,
if she were to say those things.
That's when I think you decide to cope with it.
I think right now you just need to go to her and have this conversation of like, I need you to be here for me.
I need you to be here like here for me like you are for my sister. Like I want that. I need that.
You're my mom. And I just don't see a world in which she like denies you. Yes, I hope so. I'm
going to definitely try that. I'm going gonna try just trying to be a little more direct
and make her answer the question
and maybe get some more clarity that way
and maybe that'll clear the air a little bit.
Yeah.
I mean, yeah.
Yeah, and I think there's a difference
between your parents like skipping out
on helping you move in and not coming to your wedding.
No one likes to help anyone move.
Me neither.
Yeah.
So right.
Even if it is the boyfriend,
they don't necessarily agree with your decision.
But I do think maybe just saying, and I don't want to help anyone move. I mean, even if it is the boyfriend, they don't necessarily agree with your decision.
But I do think maybe just saying,
Mom, are you and dad thinking about missing my wedding?
Because it almost sounds crazy.
I'm assuming your mom would be like, what do you mean?
But I'm just like, you didn't do this, you didn't do that.
And you just really make me feel like you might not.
Like you really make me feel like you might not, you know, like you really make me feel
like you're disappointed in me and that hurts
and I want to make you proud and blah, blah, blah,
you know, guilt her.
Like she's got to guilt you, you know,
like I think give her a little bit of her own medicine
with love, of course, but.
Yes, no, for sure that makes total sense.
All right, was this helpful at all?
Yes, no, it was.
I guess I've been trying to come at it
from too soft of a perspective, maybe,
just because I'm not wanting to have that fight
or not wanting to be confrontational,
but I guess I can be slightly confrontational,
but still come from a loving place,
just to try and get a more direct answer.
Think of it as less confrontational and more just you being direct.
Okay.
You know, because you don't want to have a fight with your mom. You don't want to fight,
but you want to articulate how your mom's actions are making you feel. And you have the right to
articulate that and express that. And you don't, you're not coming from a place of, all right,
mom, let's get into it. You know, let's. Let's fight. You're hoping that it doesn't escalate into that.
But you still have the right to be direct with your mom
about how her actions are making you feel.
And the great thing is too that your wedding's not
until June of next year.
So it's like you have plenty of time to work through this.
So it's better to be direct now and have the hard conversation
so that by the time it is time for your wedding,
this is an afterthought.
Yes.
No, that totally makesthought. Right. Yes.
No, that totally makes sense.
Yeah.
And I can't help but wonder if you are a little bit in your head about some of the other things
your mom has said and done.
And maybe it's not as bad as you fear, but it makes sense why you feel that way.
I would get through your sister's weddings first, let the dust settle, see how your mom
then responds.
And if she's still doing the same stuff
Like a month or two after your sister's wedding, maybe start having those tougher conversations
Okay. No, I 100% will do that. And yeah, I would say probably yeah, I would agree with you
I am maybe a little bit sensitive to it because I already had these fears and I feel like just like her side comments just
Magnify that almost.
Yeah, I mean you want your parents to approve and be proud and be happy.
Yeah, I want them to approve. I want them to be excited.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's normal.
We're excited for you.
Congrats.
All right, well take care. Please keep us posted what you end up doing.
And just listen, congratulations. You're in congratulations you you're you're in
love you're happy it seems like you don't have relationship problems when
it comes to him so that's good we did a little but we worked through them so
alright well thank you for the call yeah awesome thank you guys so much I love
this show and thank you for your time thank you for this have you ever had
had some tough conversations with mom before?
Yeah, definitely.
I mean, especially now.
Yeah, I feel like my mom,
I feel like with all parents,
they never wanna tell you like, I don't like that person.
They kinda just like, at least my mom is the type to mom
to like kinda let me figure it out for myself and you know, learn from it.
So, yeah, my mom definitely has gave me her input, but she's won't be the type to like don't go for that person or you know, any of that.
So especially now, I feel like I'm like, Mom, like, tell me how you really feel. What did she say? I mean, is what she wrote on Facebook about like,
this isn't my daughter, I can promise you,
she's, as soon as she finds everything out,
she's not gonna date him.
Is she still that strong in her opinion,
or is she at least willing to let you
kind of figure it out yourself
and support you in this relationship?
Yeah, so she definitely wants me to just like
figure it out on my own and she knows
that I still haven't watched the episode
so she doesn't want me, she doesn't want to kind of tell me,
she kind of wants to like have me figure it out,
watch it and then come back to her.
But she's seen it so she obviously has her opinions
and frustrations and even like whenever she did come
on the show and you know, my mom's getting a lot of hate because she's like, you were so vocal on Facebook
and then you saw him on person, in person on the show
and you could have gave Erin a harder time
and like she's getting all these things
but she didn't want to burst my love bubble.
Yeah, what she's supposed to do in that moment.
It's the first time she's talked to you
and how like she wants to just enjoy her daughter.
And I think that she just, in a way,
sees that there could be something better for me.
And she knows my worth.
I'm her daughter.
So she wants the best for me.
And I don't think she thinks that's necessarily Aaron.
Which is definitely hard.
And what I want the most is I think that my mom, even with my ex, she would say, I love your ex boyfriend,
but do I love him as your boyfriend?
Absolutely not.
So I think, you know, that could definitely be like
play into this relationship as well.
But I do want my mom to meet Aaron
and make her own judgments outside of here,
even though that's gonna to be very hard.
But yeah, I can't have any expectations for her relationship with him
because we just have to see how it goes.
But he has, after the villa,
talked to my mom on FaceTime and explained himself.
She was like, Aaron,
whenever I was watching the show,
I was feeling for my daughter and I was going to Facebook and I was ranting,
and whenever she was crying about you,
I was crying with her.
And I think everyone before CASA, including my mom,
and maybe even the viewers as well, I'm not really sure,
but I think people were rooting for us,
and they were his, they were our-
You were the number one couple for a minute.
Yeah, thank you.
But I think that they were our biggest cheerleaders.
Like, you know, the viewers, everyone was cheering us on.
So I think that Aaron did only let America down,
but my mom down and me down as well.
So yeah, it's definitely hard.
Can you just promise us you won't watch it back with him?
Yeah, I can promise you that.
I don't think it's gonna matter.
I honestly, I think you're gonna watch it back.
I think you'll be upset, but honestly,
I think you've kind of already accepted
whatever it is you're gonna find out.
I think you know.
I'm like expecting, like, I don't even know.
Like, how can it get worse than you're expecting him
to like, have a child?
Yeah.
I think you've honestly, I think you've convinced yourself
it's gonna be so bad that when you do watch it,
you'll almost be numb to it.
That's kind of where I am at now.
I feel like I'm kind of numb to it,
and I wish you guys would have saw,
but at movie night there was like six videos,
instead of, I'm not sure how many videos
you've guys seen at movie night of Erin and I,
but there was actually like 10 to 13 topics.
So there was way more movies
than what you guys actually saw that made the edit,
and six or seven movies were completely about Aaron and I.
Oh.
Because he would-
You saw all those?
And I saw all of them and they were back to back.
And all my other islanders knows what I'm talking about right now.
But it almost felt like movie night was for us.
Yeah.
Like I was like, this should have said Aaron and Kailer's movie night.
Well, what did you see that we didn't get to see?
So I'm not sure what movies you saw, but like whenever I got the text, he had to
sit there and he had to watch me cry and go through my emotions.
Um, I saw him say to Danielle, like, I can't even stand up right now.
And then I saw, you know, him bringing her breakfast in the morning kissing
that was on that movie night.
Um, I'm trying to remember all of it cause there was a lot, but the I saw him bringing her breakfast in the morning, kissing, that was on that movie night.
I'm trying to remember all of it, because there was a lot,
but the handshake was on it movie night.
The shower with you was on it movie night.
So there was a lot of movies about us.
And yeah, it was definitely hard to watch,
but I'm glad that, I guess I'm glad that I saw it there.
I don't know.
Yeah, it's just, movie night was tough.
I feel like you honestly have probably seen
the worst of it, you know?
Oh, don't tell me that,
because I'm gonna watch and be like, oh shit.
And like in fairness to Aaron, even Cordell,
it's like, it is, I can,
if I were like Aaron's brother trying to like have his back,
it is Love Island.
It is Casa Amor.
Right. It is, you. It is Casa Amor.
It is, you guys keep talking about being open
and things like that.
It is kind of meant to,
it's not even honestly what went down at Casa Amor.
It's how he handled it.
It's the biggest, I think it's the biggest concern
for people who care about you
and just see the potential in the both of you.
Yeah, it's him not apologizing for the Leah stuff.
It's the shit like that where it's just like,
I think everyone's biggest fear is
for you to have a relationship with Aaron,
it's gonna be very much on his terms.
And I think people hate that for you.
Yeah, and I feel like just going back to what you said,
like I feel like he keeps saying,
like I'm sorry that I did that.
I'm like, don't be sorry for acting
the way you wanted to act.
You wanted to do that,
you felt like you wanted to do that in that moment.
I'm not mad at him for not going into a situation
and being open, but him being open
does not necessarily mean that you allow
another girl to give you an erection.
Sorry, that's not being open in my book.
That is just completely taking a huge shit
right on my head.
Yeah, no, we're under the impression that being open
is like you're open to having conversations
with people you're open to getting to know them.
Do you need to get to know them?
You need to get to know the way they kiss?
Oh, is that getting to know someone?
Like, okay, shit.
I must've missed out on that, Erin.
Damn. Being flirtatious is not a personality trait.
Yeah.
It's not.
Like, I've been a flirt my whole life,
especially when I was single.
And then when I met Nellie, you know what I stopped doing?
Stop being a flirt.
You know, like you can choose to not be a flirt.
Like it's not one of those things where it's just like,
oh, well like physical touch is my love language
and I can't help but not flirt.
And so because I've always been a flirt,
now that I'm in a relationship with someone,
me being flirtatious with her
doesn't mean I'm being flirtatious.
It's like, what?
No. I was saying that, I was like, wait, wait.
So you're such a flirt, you're love language,
because he does say that,
his love language is physical touch.
I'm like, so if we're at a bar someday
and a girl comes up to you,
are you gonna physically wanna kiss her?
Right?
Well, it's also called love language. Or touch her in any way. It's called to you, are you gonna physically wanna kiss her? Right?
Or touch her in any way.
Or touch her in any way.
Thank you.
It's like, it's not called friend language.
It's not called like-
For everyone language.
Stranger language.
Yeah, it's not stranger language.
Yeah.
Oh gosh.
Wish me luck.
Wish me luck.
Hi, Kayla.
Thank you for being so fun to talk with and so honest.
And I know this has been an up and down experience for you
and not always easy, but you've always been real.
You've always been authentic.
And even coming here,
knowing that you are in a relationship with Erin,
I know it's not easy for you to talk about,
especially knowing that even us,
like we have our critiques of the relationship
and of Erin, but we think the world of you.
And we know you're gonna be okay,
and you're an absolute star, and just keep being you.
And I don't know what's gonna happen with you two,
but I am confident that you are gonna be just fine.
Thank you, yeah.
Really scared, but thank you.
I appreciate all of your advice,
because I need it, I do.
I need all the advice I can get.
But yeah, thank you so much for having me.
But not from anyone on social media. Yeah, no. I look at the negative comments, but yes.
Well, even the positive ones are actually dangerous because if you believe those,
you have to believe the negative ones. Yeah. Yeah, so true.
I mean, who knows? And who knows what's going to happen with you two? There's a reunion.
I know. I'm like, watch him and I not be together
and then at the reunion, like, after I watch things back,
I'm like, are we not gonna work?
And then at the reunion, I'm gonna have to see him.
Jeez, yeah.
You're going back to a hotel room with him, you're fine.
Kayla, you're much stronger than you realize.
Thank you, yeah.
And I think we just all wanna see you realize it,
that's all.
Maybe next time I talk with you guys, I'll actually watch the show and I'll have
more insight on how I feel about everything. But I would definitely watch it before the
reunion. Oh, I have to. Yeah, I have to. Now that I have peacock, I can go on and watch
it. But the last thing, like I'm just trying to live in the moment and live my life a little
bit right now. And instead Instead of sitting in a hotel room
or sitting at home and watching what I just lived in
for the last two months.
So, yeah.
Totally understandable.
Just don't let anyone, including your boyfriend,
make you question your instincts
because you got some good ones.
Thank you guys, thank you so much.
Well, we thank Kayla for coming on
and thank you guys for listening.
If you just tuned in for Kayla,
we're here multiple times a week. We got our Ask Nick episodes every Monday. If you like to
text in office hours, it's a lot of people calling in with relationship problems, whether it's family
problems, boyfriend, girlfriend problems, everything under the sun, and we offer advice. It's a lot of
fun. Plus, we got Reality Recap every Tuesday and Thursday. And this going deeper on Wednesdays
when we have stars like
Kayla. Thanks for listening. Tell your friends, subscribe, all that fun stuff. We'll see you tomorrow. Bye.