The Way I Heard It with Mike Rowe - 26: Rose Garden Rubbish

Episode Date: July 19, 2016

Even the President can't help this guy catch a break.

The ocean delights us as playful otters restore coastal kelp forests. The ocean teaches us how our choices impact even the deepest places. The ocean connects us. Visit Monterey Bay Aquarium.org slash connects. This is the way I heard it. When you look like a movie star and your coworkers call you a golden boy, it might be tempting to head west and try your luck in Hollywood. But when your dad's a successful writer and your grandfather's,

even more successful, you might feel a certain obligation to find out if you too inherited the literary gene, which is precisely why Peter was sitting in the White House, staring at a blank piece of paper, trying to decide what the President of the United States should say next. Peter wasn't suffering from writer's block. As the newest speechwriter for Lyndon Johnson, he knew exactly what the President should say and already churned out a dozen excellent drafts. Problem was, the president hated everything he wrote. Peter's boss, an old friend named Robert Kintner, was getting worried. Hey, Golden Boy, you'd better write something brilliant, fast. But Kintner knew that Peter wasn't really the problem. The problem was Kennedy.

JFK's speeches had been so damn good that everything Johnson uttered sounded second rate by comparison. Peter could hear the ice cracking beneath him when Kintner walked into his office and told him his latest policy speech was simply not Kennedy-esque enough. LB.J isn't happy, said Kintner. Write up something for that tree lighting ceremony in the Rose Garden instead. Peter loathed these assignments. He called them Rose Garden rubbish because no one paid any attention to them. But a job's a job. So Peter got busy. writing presidential prose that nobody would ever remember. After the tree lighting comments, he assembled some thoughtful remarks around Miss Teenage America's annual visit. Then a gathering of the American Dental Association, followed by some parting words for a special emissary,

delivering two musk oxen to the People's Republic of China. On the positive side, writing Rose Garden Rubbish came with no pressure and left Peter time to pursue other interests, like sipping scotch, learning to play the guitar, and outlining an idea for a new novel, all of which he pursued from his office in the White House. One day, Kintner interrupted Peters Rose Garden rubbish with a last-minute assignment. That night, a very important state dinner was to be held, and dignitaries from all over the world would be in attendance. The president wanted phonetic spellings of all the guests, so that they were a very important state dinner was to be held, and dignitaries from all the guests so as not to butcher their names during his introductory remarks. Peter complied,

but neglected to phoneticize the countries as well as the people. Consequently, when Johnson got to the ruler of Nepal, he pronounced Mahandra perfectly, but raised a few eyebrows when he confidently identified him as the king of nipple. That was the last straw. Peter's career as a speechwriter was finished, but interestingly, not his tenure at the White House. When Kintner told Peter that LBJ wanted him out, Peter refused to leave. If Johnson wants to fire me, he can tell me himself, I'll be here in my office. Well, apparently, President Johnson was distracted by the war on poverty, the war in Vietnam, and the whole civil rights thing. So, while Peter received no more assignments and no more paychecks, he held on to his security clearance and lingered in his office for many

months, sipping his scotch, studying his guitar, tinkering with his novel. Eventually, the Secret Service got wise and escorted Peter off the premises, but by then Peter had a plan for the future, and when those movie star Good Looks finally paid off, It was Hollywood who came to the Golden Boy and offered him a part in one of the biggest movies of all time. The role had only a few lines, but Peter made the most of them. Amnity Island has long been known for its clean air, clean water, and beautiful white sand beaches. But in recent days, a cloud has appeared on the horizon of this beautiful resort community, a cloud in the shape of a killer shark.

Peter had no problem memorizing those lines, partly because he wrote them, quite possibly when he was squatting at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Jaws put Peter on the map, even as it scared America out of the water, and to thank one of the few people who believed in his writing, right from the beginning, and gave him an office in which to do it, Peter Benchley named one of the shark's first victims, after his old friend, Robert Kintner. Remarkably, LBJ was never mentioned. Anyway, that's the way I heard it. If you work in University Maintenance, Granger considers you an MVP, because your playbook ensures your arena is always ready for tip-off,

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