The Way I Heard It with Mike Rowe - 264: Coffee with Mom—Does Your Mom Really Vacuum in the Nude?

Episode Date: August 16, 2022

Two-time NYT bestselling author Peggy Rowe drops by to discuss her upcoming hour-long FOX primetime TV special—America's Grandmother, her third book—Vacuuming in the Nude: and Other Ways to Get Attention, and the existence of aliens in the universe.  Or, to put it another way, a normal Mike's mom episode.

From lashes for days with the viral liquid lash extensions mascara to lift in color from their brilliant eye brightener. Thrive Cosmetics is the go-to for amplifying everyday looks. Plus, every product is 100% vegan, cruelty-free, and made with clean skin-loving ingredients that work with your skin. Amplify your everyday. Go to ThriveCosmetics.com slash Shine-26 for an exclusive offer of 20% off your first order. That's Thrive Cosmetics, C-A-U-M-T-I-C-S-C-C-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-E-E-S. Hello again. Mike Roe here with episode number 264 of the way I heard it. This one is called, Does Your Mom Really Vacuum in the Nude? That's the title of the episode because that's the question I get now,

two, three, four, sometimes five times a day, Chuck. People see the title of my mom's new book and they want to know if there's any truth to it. How do you not ask that question? Because she's saying it right there on the front of the book, which is now available, where fine books are are sold. And there's an illustration of her naked, vacuuming in the nude, with my father leering at her as he attempts to read a newspaper. So, yeah, it's a fair question. And we will answer that question in today's conversation with, I guess it's official, America's grandmother, the title of a special coming up featuring my mother. It's just unbelievable. She's out there at 84 years old, Chuck. She's killing it.

This is going to be number three, man. I'm pretty sure she's going to get a third New York Times bestseller under her belt. I mean, if the pre-sales are any indication. Well, I sure hope so. And obviously, my agenda is showing. Peggy Row is my mom. She's my favorite writer. First time, New York Times bestselling author at the age of 80.

She did it again two years ago at the height of the lockdown with another book. This is the best book she's ever written. It made me cry three or four times. it made me laugh out loud in those moments when I wasn't crying. It's actually a very clever memoir about a determined writer who wrote every day for 60 years before ever getting a deal, a legit book deal. And I'm very proud of my mom. I think a lot of people with dreams have a lot that they can learn from this book.

And if you like to laugh, I mean, it's a funny book, but we just have. had a fairly earnest conversation, I thought. It was way more earnest than I thought it was going to be. I thought it was going to be all, you know, jokes and fun. And it got very serious, and she teared up again. Well, look, I mean, she's had a big life, and she's right on the heels of summing it up in a series of lighthearted short stories

that actually deal, in some cases, with some pretty heavy stuff. You know, my mom is a cancer survivor, and I didn't realize it at the time, But that moment in her life over 20 years ago now, it was pivotal. And it changed the way she thought about a lot of things. It changed the way she wrote. It didn't change the person she was, but it got her out there, you know? Right.

And this book, we'll explain the title, vacuuming in the dude. My mom will anyway. But it's the subtitle, I think, that's maybe even more important. And other ways to get attention. Right. We're living in a world, right? I mean, everything is clicks and shares and likes and podcasts and look over here and look over there. And long before any of that was happening, my mom was trying to get the attention of publishers.

And the people who mattered to her, most of all. And this book is full of examples of how that happened. And I don't know, man, the more I think about it, Chuck, and the more I talk about it, the more I think there's something in this thing for everybody. Agreed. It's part memoir. It's part encouragement. She feels like she's standing along the side of a marathon handing cups to people running by going,

go ahead, here you go, cold water. It's really sweet what she's written. Well, I can tell you, that's exactly how she's made me feel for the last 60 years. She's been a huge source of encouragement to her kids, to her friends, to everybody who's known her. My agenda, again, is obvious. My bias is unapologetic. This is a shameless plug, but I won't make any apologies for it, because if the research is to be believed, my mom is the most popular guest on this podcast. And every time she's on, thousands of people say, please have her back. Well, she's back. Her book is on the shelf right now.

I'm doing everything I can to see to it that it winds up on the bestseller list again. And without overreaching, we could use your help. Vacuuming in the nude. It's over on Amazon and everywhere else people buy it. I promise you're going to love it. If you love my mom and how do you not love my mom, you're going to love her book. Episode 264. Does your mom really vacuum in the nude?

I'll let her answer that right after this. Well, people are still raving, raving, I tell you, about my mother's performance in the latest Pure Talk commercial. And if you haven't seen it, I encourage you to give it a look on my Facebook page and read the comments. They're hysterical. In this commercial, you'll not only see Peggy Roe gently criticizing her oldest son for his longstanding and well-established commitment issues, you'll learn about the latest offer from Pure Talk, which includes unlimited talk, text, and data for just $3499 a month with no contracts and no commitments of any kind. You can see why I love these guys. If, on the other hand, you have better things to do with your time than watch my mom and me be impossibly charming together,

than allow me to remind you here, without all the cleverness and charm, that unlimited talk, text, and data on a blazing fast network for just 3499 a month really is an unmitigated bargain from an American wireless company that keeps all their customer service in this country, supports our veterans in a meaningful way, as well as the MicroWorks Foundation, and allows me to exploit my own mother in a national advertising campaign. my mom did, get yourself unlimited high-speed data for just 3499 a month at puretalk.com slash row. You can switch in as little as 10 minutes at puretalk.com slash row. Pure Talk. Well, here's another. Well, I'm very tempted right now to introduce you to

another New York Times bestselling author for the third time. But the truth is, I'm not sure if you are yet or you're not, Mom, but this is a pretty big week for you. Your third book has just hit the stands, and I wonder how excited are you on a scale of one to ten? Hi, Mike. Oh, I'm pretty excited. I am very excited, actually. In fact, I got my suitcase out this morning, and I'm ready to pack for my book tour. It's going to be a good one. It's going to be great. I mean, do you remember what happened a year and a half ago? We had the big book tour planned. Remember how that one went? Oh, my golly. Yeah, it was all Zoom. It was a Zoom book tour. We still had a book tour, and I did a lot of Zoom events, enough to know that I missed live people.

Yeah. I mean, there are advantages to the Zoom events. I didn't have to get on a plane or go to a train station or get in a big black car. I didn't have to get all dressed up from the waist down. So there were advantages, but I do miss people. I love a live audience. Yeah, I love the fact that you miss the living. I think that's a... But this is true. I did miss the living.

And I wouldn't say it's boring because it's not, because there are people there on the other end, but it's not like, you know, being there in person. By the time people listen to this, you will have appeared on the Today Show. You will have been all over Fox News, but people will not have seen the special that's coming up on Sunday the 21st called America's Grandmother. Chuck, have you seen this yet? Yeah, I saw the cut of it. It's pretty good.

It's pretty good, Peggy. What did you think of it? Was I supposed to have seen it? Well, I sent it to you. Well, I did see it, but I don't know if you were supposed to send it to me. No, I wasn't, actually. He probably wasn't supposed to send it to me either, but... I wasn't supposed to send it to anybody.

In fact, now that you mention it, this is probably a terrible thing for me to confess, but I couldn't help it. I looked at an advanced cut of America's grandmother. And I swear, Mom, I'm obviously I'm biased. It's a lot of you. and a lot of me. But I've never seen a TV show quite like this. And I think people are really going to like it. I hope so.

I'll tell you, I've never really watched myself to this extent before. It was kind of embarrassing. I mean, they were saying nice things about me. And there was a makeup lady there and she did hair. And she really made me look kind of good, kind of better than I. usually look. And I was dressed up and yeah, it was kind of embarrassing, but it was kind of exciting too. She pulled me to the side, Chuck, before we started shooting. And she said, do I look okay? And I said, yeah, you look great. She said, I don't look all horde up. I'm like, no.

I think I said all tarted up. You might have said tarted. I like to remember this word. Yeah. Yeah. So here's what I. happened. Last time I was promoting how America works, I was on Fox and Friends. And I mentioned during a break to Steve Ducey that you were working on your third book. And he said, oh, please tell Peggy, hello. We all love her over here. She's such a terrific writer. You should talk to a producer over at Fox Nation about doing a segment on your mom. It might be a fun way to promote the book. And I said, that's a good idea. So we talked to the producer, and then the producer talked to to my mom, and then the producer called me and said, you know, this might be more than a segment.

This might be a half hour special on Fox Nation. And I said, oh, that'd be great. And then they talked a little bit more, and then he called me back, and he said, hey, your mother, this woman, she's really a pistol. This thing could be a whole hour. And I said, really? A whole hour on America's grandmother? And he said, oh, that's a good title. So suddenly there's this hour-long show called America's grandmother over on Fox Nation. But then he calls back again. and says, look, the more we talk to your mother, the more we're like, this story is unbelievable. We think it's a one-hour primetime special on Fox News. Now, as you know, Chuck, my mother is the most aggressively apolitical, nonpartisan person on

the planet. She doesn't like to watch any of the news channels. But here she is, the subject of her own special. Tell me if I'm wrong, but that does not look like any TV show I've ever seen. No, I don't think I've ever seen a show like that. It's more like a lighthearted documentary. It does document in a way my life, my writing journey. And, you know, they even interviewed my grandchildren, your nieces.

And that was kind of exciting. I mean, it's like they wanted to show the whole. whole Peggy. They interviewed your father. That could be kind of scary. Did he use his theater voice? No, no. He was very earnest, which kind of surprised me because I was watching from the back of the studio and I was afraid he was going to cry. He felt so, I don't know, just earnest is the best word I can think of. Yeah, you rarely see him that way. But, I don't know the question that was asked to him directly, but there's a part where he's like, she's a wonderful writer, she's a terrific mother, she's a devoted wife, and she's my girl.

And I almost choked up. I know. He was very sentimental when he did it. I guess that's a good thing. Well, look, it's a really sweet special, and it does drawl on the book a lot. So, look, as long as we're going to turn this episode into a good thing, you know, shameless plug for your book. And I really think we should. It's called vacuuming in the nude and other ways to get attention. The title has already got people asking a gazillion question.

So why don't you talk about why you called it that and tell people what they really want to know, which is do you actually vacuum without any clothes on? No, what they really want to know is this book, pornography. And the short answer is no, is not pornography. I have a friend who, well, years ago, we used to get together a lot. The women I went to college with, girls I went to college with, and we taught. Some of us taught together in the same schools, but we stayed together through the years. We kept in touch. And then when the time came, we retired, and we would meet for lunch, maybe once a month. Well, we were at the restaurant one day, and one of the girls, I'll call her Dora, was late.

We didn't know where she was. Well, 15 minutes later, she came rushing in, all flustered and embarrassed. And she said, I am so sorry. I was vacuuming, and I looked at the clock and realized how late it was. So I jumped in the shower, and here I am. And then she giggled, and she said, Fortunately, I vacuumed the nude. And I said, well, wait a minute.

You mean nothing, nothing at all on? She said, well, it was warm, and I always take a shower afterwards. One of the other girls said, well, but you're home alone, right? And she said, no, no, Dan was there. And then she said, and sometimes Dan joins me in the shower. Well, that image has stayed with me through the years. That was maybe 15 years ago. Adora was always a nice-looking woman,

but, you know, through the years we put on a little weight and she was getting her husband's attention. And as I was writing my book, I thought of all the different ways that I tried to get attention when I was starting out as a writer. And it's so difficult to be noticed. I mean, rejection. Rejection is around every corner.

And I just compared myself to Dora. I did a lot of things to get noticed early on. I did not vacuum in the nude. Okay. That's really what people want to know. I know. But you should see her wash a car, Chuck. Oh.

Wow. Did she do the Carl's Jr. ads? Oh, yeah. It's like Daisy Dukes. Nice. The book. is about rejection and it's about persistence and it's about doing a thing you love even when no one else loves it with you. You know, we've talked about it before, Chuck, you just had a chance to read

a chunk of it anyway. You had me write the forward again. Thank you very much. It was an honor. Oh, it's a lovely forward. Well, it's my third forward for you. I think it's my worst and this is your third book and it's clearly your best. It's a pretty clever memoir. in a pretty ingenious way, I think, to talk about yourself. I'm curious, as you were writing it, did you know what you were doing? Did you know what you were trying to do? Because in the end, it's really an inspirational book, and I didn't think you were in the business of inspiration. It's funny, Mike, when I began writing the book, I didn't see it going in the direction that it ultimately would go in.

I was just writing about my writing journey from the very beginning, from the very first thing that I wrote to the present. Well, of course there's humor, but I'm known for humor. I love humor. I mean, my day is complete when I can make people laugh, when I can tell them a lighthearted story that brings a smile or laughter. And so I got to thinking, you know, at every step, along the way of my writing journey. I kept writing. I didn't give up when there was rejection.

I kept writing because writers cannot not write. It's what we do. We write. I mean, I wrote letters. I wrote eulogies. I wrote poetry for friends' birthdays and anniversaries. And I wrote stories of what was happening around me. I didn't know what to do with the stories. I didn't know any public.

I didn't know any publishers, I didn't know newspaper editors, I didn't know the process. And so I just kept writing these stories. And as I'm working on this book, this vacuuming in the nude, it occurred to me that those stories that I wrote along the way were a very important part of my writing process, of my writing journey. The humor and the stories, almost all of them, are humorous stories. Because, I mean, my publisher calls me a humorist. A humorist is somebody who looks around her and sees the humor in life. Whereas you might see something more serious, I'll see the funny side of it. So I included these stories along the way. Yeah. No, you did. But the thing about the special,

and the thing in the book that both really come out. It's so weird, Mom, you know, your cancer diagnosis, I don't think about it much. And I'm continually surprised when I hear you talk about it because it reminds me of a time that I really don't want to remember. But now for the first time, reading about that in the book, in the context of everything else that was going on, and seeing it in this special and seeing you talk about it,

I know why dad got choked up and I realized, or maybe I just remembered what an incredible pivot you had to make. You know, that kind of thing breaks a lot of people. I think it actually made you stronger. I think you're right. You know, Mike, you said you didn't remember that time as clearly as I do. Well, when something so monumental happens in your life, you do remember it. It's not something that you forget.

you were not living at home at the time. I remember so clearly the day that you came home. And I was in bed. I had had surgery and I was waiting to hear from the doctor about the prognosis and the treatment. And you came for a visit and you encouraged me to write about my cancer story. And I remember yelling at you. I said, Michael, look at me. Do I look like somebody who's going to sit down and write a story,

a funny story that makes people laugh? That's very insensitive of you. You could see why I blocked all this out. I can see why. And you said, but mom, do it. And you know what? And I still fill up when I think about this time. It was an emotional time.

and I'll never forget it. And I can remember so clearly saying to you that I just couldn't do this. And you said, well, Mom, think about the thousands of women out there who have recently received a similar diagnosis. You should write about your story for them. Write about it for your sons. Write about it for your granddaughters because this was 1997. And I said, you don't get it, Mike. You don't get it.

I can write the story and I can make it a good story. But I can't sell it. I can't get it out there. I can't publish it. I don't have any means of getting it out there. And I can't stand the rejection. And I said to you, I actually said to you, but you wouldn't understand that. rejection just saps all of your dignity, your self-worth.

And you laughed. You had the nerve to look at your mother who had cancer and laugh out loud. You said, do you realize I'm an entertainer? I'm in show business. Rejection is my middle name. I just don't talk about it. And when I thought about it, that was so true. You never told us about your rejection, and I know you had a ton of it.

And that's how you convinced me to sit down and write about my story. It was worth telling. And you know what? In the end, I did write it. I joined a support group, and I stayed in it for two years, and I journaled every step of the way. I wrote about every visit, you know. I remember.

this thing kind of went full circle because a couple years afterwards, you were in remission, and for all intents and purposes, you would beat this thing. And I started thinking, you know, why are you still in this group? Why are you still going to this place where, you know, week after week you're confronted with people who you might never see again? How do you know when it's time to go? And you said to me, basically the same thing I'm, said to you, right? I was like, write the stories for the thousands of people who are going through the same nightmare that you're going through. And you did that, but then you couldn't leave the group that had come to, in some ways, depend upon you, even though you were no longer in treatment,

which I thought was kind of amazing. I tried to leave. My group met every Tuesday afternoon from two to four. And I heard that there was a waiting list for my particular slot, my particular time slot. I was in a group with people who, you know, some of them passed away and then we would get new people. But we had about a dozen people, maybe in the group. And so we had an experienced psychotherapist who led the group. I mean, this was a very professional operation. And I said to her, I hear there's a waiting list for Tuesday afternoon. I've been here for two years. I'm fine.

I'm no longer depressed. This group was wonderful for me. And I think I'll step aside and make room for other people. And I'll never forget what she said. She said, oh, Peggy, don't leave. Please don't leave. Because every person brings something special. Every person brings their own dynamic to the group.

And with you, it's your humor. And we would miss it. Please don't go. So I didn't. I love stories like this. Seven years ago, a guy named Ben Still was a musician. He had zero interest in running a food company. But he was annoyed that so much imported meat,

was being deceptively marketed and labeled as domestic and decided to fix the problem. The result was a company called Good Ranchers. It's a completely honest, totally transparent meat company that deals directly with American farms and ranches and promises to deliver high-quality American-grown meat for a fair price. Today, that promise. And Ben's absolute determination to keep it has not only propelled Good Ranchers into the top tier of meat delivery companies, It's fueled enormous awareness among meteors like me, that we have all been affirmatively deceived by policies that allow imported me to be marketed as domestic. That's the reason I switch to good ranchers.

If I'm being honest, though, I doubt that I would have stayed this long had the quality not been so exceptional. Every single cut I've devoured from good ranchers has been straight up delicious, and every morsel was raised on a small American farm or ranch. Give them a try. Subscriptions are affordable and flexible. In fact, if you start your plan today, you'll get free meat for life and $40 off your first order. Just use code mic at good ranchers.com. Free meat for life, $40 off your first order. Good ranchers.com. American meat delivered.

If you could eat a steer, if you could eat a cow, don't take a chance on a foreign ranch. Get good ranchers. Now. Hey-ha. So much of this book, you wrote every day for 60 years. I think we say this in the special. You know, it paid off like a slot machine pays off. Every now and then, a horse magazine publishes one of your stories or the local paper.

You know, we'll run with the story of the Silver Star Purple Heart recipient who lived down the hall who fought at Iwo Jima. And you would see your words out there from time to time. but no real success in terms of a publisher. And along this whole journey of yours, it's like you're looking for an audience. And that's the thing that strikes me, and I know it strikes Chuck too, because we're in the business of looking for an audience.

Every single thing. Every single thing is based on our ability or inability to find somebody to pay attention. But on the one hand, there you are in your quest to look for an audience. And on the other hand, you had it all along. You had it with your family. You had it with your friends.

You had it with this cancer support group. Admittedly, it was a small audience. But I think the reason you've got hundreds of thousands of Facebook friends right now and specials named after you, honestly, is because you're not doing anything different now than you were then. You're writing the same types of stories. It just got blown up. And now suddenly you're talking about it on the Today Show.

and on Fox and Friends and all over the place. And I think, you know, for a lot of people who are just mystified by the way, success isn't even the right word, but mystified by the way notoriety happens and celebrity happens, those are the people, I think you have something to say to. And I think your books speak to all of those people in really different ways. And we're having a surprisingly earnest conversation. right now about all of this, and people are probably confused by it. They want to hear the super funny stories, and I'm sure we'll get to a few.

But what's it feel like to be 84 years old and affirmatively changing the way lots and lots of people you've never met feel about life? It's great. It really is. It's exhilarating. I have women walk up to me at events, and they'll say, you know, I've always wanted to do such and such. I've always wanted to try making one of those beautiful lap quilts.

And then I got to the point where I got busy and didn't have time. And then I felt like, well, I'm too old to do it now. And they'll say, well, maybe I'm not. You know, if you can write a book at the age of 80, maybe I can go ahead and make that quilt at 65 or 70 or whatever. Now, if somebody came up to me and said, oh, Mrs. Roe, you have inspired me so much, I have always wanted to be in the NFL. I've always wanted to be a football player. And if this guy lives here at the home and he's 75, I might not give him the encouragement that I gave that woman.

Or if an 80-year-old woman comes up to me and says, you know, I've always wanted to be a ballet dancer, and maybe it's not too late. Well, Han, I'm sorry to tell you, you ain't going to be a ballet dancer if you're 80 years old. Sometimes, you know, we have to think about our dreams, and sometimes we have to defer them. Sometimes we just have to alter them.

Yeah. So I can't say to everybody just go ahead and follow your dream because it might not work. But if you have a passion, you know, it's funny, I've always had passions through my life. And when I was a kid, even into adulthood, oh, I had a passion for horses. I've always loved horses. As a kid, I mean, they were my life. Well, don't you know, as an adult, when I began writing, my first successful story that was in print was a horse story. I wrote for horse magazines because I spoke the language.

And one of the things I learned at writing conferences was write about the things you know. I mean, what writer hasn't heard that? And I knew about horses. I knew everything about horses. So I wrote for horse magazines. So my current passion and dream built upon a former passion and dream. I just had to alter it. And maybe, you know, maybe other people can do that too.

Yeah. So you're saying you had a passion for horses and then that sort of evolved into a passion for writing. And to a large extent, that's what this book. is. It's about a passion that eventually bore fruit in the market. Not that that matters, but that's kind of how it tracks on the face of it. But what I think you really wrote, whether you meant to or not, was a book about rejection. And interestingly, you are qualified now to write about that in ways you weren't 40 or 50 years ago. You hadn't experienced enough rejection to really have an opinion on it other than it kind of sucks, you know, but having spent 60 years, 60 years getting the slow

no. That's what I hope people take from this. Chuck, how many times have we been in airports and told your flight? Your flight is not canceled, but we're going to push it 20 minutes and another 20 minutes and another hour. And before you know, you've been there two days, right? Yeah. Everybody knows what that feeling's like. Multiply it by 60 years. And that's what my mom went through. Right. But I think it's more than just a book about rejection. I think more than anything above that, it's persistence because everyone knows what it feels like to be rejected at some point in your life. If you're an actor, if you're in the arts, it's over and over and over again. But not everybody gets up. Some people that takes just one rejection and they're like, that's it, I'm done. I do not want to feel that

ever again. But you know, you get knocked down a hundred times, you get up 101. And that's what writing was for you. And that's what comes through in this book. I like the way you described it as being a cheerleader on the side, encouraging other writers to write. I bought your book and sent it to my sister. She'll get it next week. But I really want her to write. Because I know she reads vociferously, and I know she's really proud of every letter that she's ever written. She likes to write, but she doesn't do it. And I really want to encourage her to do it. What would you say to her? I would say to her, keep writing, write every day. And in the meantime, take some writing courses. Because, I mean, writing is one thing, but you can benefit so much from the experience of other

writers and from instructors. They have advice that's good. Join a support. Not a support. group. A writer's group. Yeah, but what's it called? A support group. No, it's not a support group. A lab. A writer's lab. No. This is the bad thing about aging. Your retrieval of words isn't what it used to be. Workshop. These are people. No. Oh, come on. If it's not a lab or a workshop, what the hell is it? Come on, guys. Come on. How many syllables? Sounds like. It'll come to me. clock in the morning. It's a little Christmas. All right.

This is a group of people. They're all writers. They write at home. They bring their writing to this group and they share it. I was in one for screenplays and we called it a lab. That's not it. It'll come to me. And you listen to them read their work.

Oh, it's a critique group. You critique their writing. You tell them what you like. about it and you tell them how it might be better. Yes. Really, a critique group is necessary for writers because for one thing, it helps you to accept criticism and not everybody's going to like your work. I mean, maybe three people in your critique group might love it and two people don't like

it at all. And it helps you to say to yourself, well, there must be something. here, three people liked it. I'll just ignore those other two people. It is worth pursuing. As one of the nicest, kindest women, at least that's your reputation out there in the world, one of the universally sweetest and most encouraging bipeds walking around, what do you say, whether it's a lab or a workshop or a critique group or a support group, call it whatever you want. What do you say when somebody has churned out just a real piece of garbage and you want to be their cheerleader anyway? How do you?

I get the whole don't encourage an 80-year-old woman to become a ballerina. But what do you say to a writer who can't write? I say there is something good in everything. Listen to what she's written. read what she's written. There's something in there that is good, something that you can compliment. Maybe it's a character, and you say to her, I really love this character, this character, and then tell why you love that character. And then you might say, your plot needs work. Your plot really, you really need to work on that. But you can find something positive to say.

And I'll tell you what somebody said to me early on. They said, well, you know, if you can't sell it or get it out there, get it published, your family will like it. Don't say that. Don't say that. That's the kiss of death. Of course your family loves you. They're going to like it. That's not a compliment.

But if somebody is writing a family history, then family could benefit from that, even if you're not a terrific writer. Because someday you're not going to be around and what you've written will be meaningful to people. You know, maybe it's history and it's authentic and it's what you remember and nobody else is around to remember it. So go ahead and write that memoir, even if you're writing, writing sucks. I would never say that. You know what? Chuck, you'll appreciate this. I don't remember the name of the play, but years ago, my dad was in a production and there

was an actor in this particular production who was not quite on par with the level of the other actors in this production. Gotcha. And after the play, you know, how many times you've been in this world? You're downstairs, you're backstage. People come and you want to know what they think. And, you know, people tell you what they think. And it's always...

Wow, I've never seen anything like that before. Right. Or you've done it again. That's where I was going. My mother looked at this guy square in the face and said, well, you've done it again. And he said, oh, thank you. That means the world coming from you.

And then she just kind of walked away going, dodge that one. Yeah, that was the longest two hours in my life. Oh, I remember what I was doing a lot of theater. We had like 30 different versions of that that you could say to, because you were always seeing a play that really sucked. And so we were always trying to come up with new and clever ways to say something without saying anything.

Like, wow. I mean, you were up there. You were really up there. You laid it all out. Yeah. You know, another thing that I've used is, how in the world did you learn all those lines? That's kind of like a compliment, isn't it? It is, yes.

Like when somebody picks up your book and said, I had no idea you knew so many words. How did you write all those words? Yeah, boy, the way you grouped them up, that was something. You know, it's funny. I have learned so much from the people who have come to my book events, my appearances. I'll have to share this one with you. A woman came up to me and she said, Peggy,

you are my dead grandmother all over. And I said, oh, well, thank you. And then she proceeded to tell me how her grandmother was the best person in the world and she loved her unconditionally. And so then, of course, I did feel better. Oh, and then there was another woman who came up to me and said, Peggy, your writing puts me to sleep. Well, I mean, on the face of it, that might not be a very complimentary statement.

But then she proceeded to tell me, I keep your books on my bedside table. And when I've had a terrible day and I can't go to sleep, I read a chapter from one of your books, and everything's better, and I can go to sleep. That was okay. I haven't told you this, but in so many ways we're living such a weird, parallel life, I talked to an executive a couple of months ago over at Discovery about the future of a show that I narrate on the Science Channel, how the universe works.

Maybe you've seen it. Oh, yes. Okay. Some sort of reaction. would be fine. This is your son telling you about his work. All right. That is, you know what? So many people mention that show to me. People who are your followers. That's their favorite show. All right. Well, good. This is my story. So standby. So we're looking at season 10, right? And the show's on the bubble. Like right now at Discovery, everything's on the bubble because they just bought Warner Brothers.

And so everybody's waiting to see what happens. And it's hard to get clarity on anything. So the producers over there are just waiting to know if we're going to do season 10. And of course, we should do season 10 because the titular promise has never been really answered. We still don't know how the universe works. We don't have any idea. So each season is a new attempt to learn more. Anyhow, so we're having this big conversation about science and the cosmos and all the reasons we should do the thing. And this guy at Discovery says, you know, we get hundreds of notes over here from viewers saying they love that show because Mike Roe puts them to sleep.

And I'm like, Oh, wasn't that noise? What's the same exact observation? But apparently, you know, they run blocks of these shows late at night and kids are screaming. Some combination of the sound of my voice and the vastness of the cosmos puts children and adults to sleep.

So I think it's entirely possible this show is going to get picked up again for that reason. I'm just saying. Apart from the fact that we still don't know how the universe works. No, and we never will. It's very big, Chuck. Big universe, yeah. And constantly expanding, so I'm told.

Yeah, there's some debate on that now, too, actually. Come on. I mean, is the universe truly infinite, as we were told, as it must be if it's continually expanding? You know, really, really smart experts disagree. on that. And you know, I heard an interesting thing the other day too, Mom. Do you think there's life somewhere in the universe on some other exoplanet or planet or asteroid or anywhere? I have no idea, Mike. I have no idea. But it's so vast. It just goes on and on. I mean,

it's like there is no end. So perhaps there is some form of life out there on some other planet. I don't know. I guess if you're an extremely religious person and you take the Bible literally, then you would probably say no because, you know, heaven and earth, and this is earth, doesn't mention any other heaven and earth and Jupiter. Shameless plug! Long before she was Peggy Rowe, my mom was Peggy Noble, daughter of her. Carl and Thelma Noble. It was her father, Carl, who inspired me to pitch a show called Dirty Jobs to the Discovery Channel and later start a foundation that honored the kind of work

Carl Noble did for a living, trade work, skilled labor. That foundation is called MicroWorks, and today I'm proud to tell you that we've helped thousands of people get the training they need to begin a career in the skilled trades. In fact, we'd love to help you. You can apply for a work ethic scholarship right now at microwworks.org. We've set aside $10 million for this year's applicants, thanks to a number of very effective fundraisers, including the one with my grandfather's name on the label. I refer, of course, to Noble Tennessee Whiskey, K-N-O-B-E-L, which is now available in a variety of delicious mash bills, all of which you can peruse at noblespirates.com.

In fact, if you spend $100 and use code Carl, C-A-R-L, you'll get one tube of orange bitter-infused sugar cubes for free. That's Code Carl with a C to get nine sugar cubes, ingeniously engineered to make nine perfect old-fashions every time. It's my favorite way to support Microworks and my favorite whiskey to sip responsibly after a long day of interviewing people on this podcast. Pick up a bottle at noblespirates.com. K-N-O-B-E-L-Spirates.com. to bring a bottle for everyone. One day when the waitin is done, we'll take a drink and go.

Well, you know, how the universe works employs a lot of cosmologists and experts who sort of weigh in. I think if we do go to season 10, we could get you back into that show to share some of those kinds of insights. I think the audience would perk right up when you hit him with the old.

No, I don't think so. No, probably not. Probably not. Well, here's why I ask, Mom. And here's the fault with your reasoning. I'm not saying you're right or wrong, but here's why I brought this up. If the universe is truly infinite,

if it is truly expanding at something slightly faster than the speed of light, right? Which means just going so fast, so incomprehensibly fast. If there's any truth to the Hubble deep field and the deep field too, which are images of what the cosmos looked like a few hundred thousand years after the Big Bang,

and you see the sky just completely, completely filled with more stars than you can imagine. And then you learn that those dots of light aren't stars, but rather galaxies, right? Hundreds, billions of galaxies. Then that's what leads people to say what you just said, which is surely in the vastness of this ever-expanding place, there must be life somewhere. But if that's true, then there can't be life somewhere. there has to be life everywhere. In fact, there has to be infinite life.

To talk about a truly infinite universe, there's either life in one spot or there is infinite life in countless other spots. And that's the kind of thing that makes my head explode when I'm narrating that series and putting people to sleep. Yeah. I thought this was about me today. It was briefly.

but then things got a little earnest and dark and I thought I had to inject a little I thought we had to follow the science for a minute Well, let's not forget it turned to you Before it turned to the cosmos But you were sort of related to the cosmos Yes, but I'm the center of my own solar system Well, Peggy's the star of her movie

Yeah Well, speaking of being like the sun in your own solar system When she asked me to write the forward for the third book, Chuck, as you know. I couldn't believe it because as I say in the forward, I wrote the forward for her best book, for her first book when she was 80 because I didn't know if it was going to be her last book and I said everything I was to say. And then she comes back for the second book. And it's like, what do you? Come on. I mean, I didn't leave anything on the table, but I wrote another one and it was pretty good. So the third one was a real challenge. And mom, you're very sweet to

compliment me on it. But remember, I said to you, tell me something. I don't know. Tell me something about your obsession with writing that I didn't live to see or that I couldn't possibly remember. So I have something new to share. And what did you tell me? I don't remember that conversation at all. Oh, God. Did you read the forward? It's in there. Oh, yes. I've read the forward several times. Gosh, Mike. I don't know. What happened when I was about one year old and you were busy writing? Oh, right. Oh, I don't want to talk about that.

It's in the forward, mom. Millions of people are going to read it. And it's in the special. You were one year old. You're not talking about when I was nursing you. Yeah, I am. Exactly what he's talking about it. I don't want to talk about that.

That's a little embarrassing. I want to talk about it. Oh, my God. It's in the book. What do you mean you don't want to talk about it? The cat's out of the bag. Spoiler alert. You forgot you were nursing me.

I nearly choked to death. because you forgot I was hanging there. I put that all behind me. That's not one of the things I choose to remember. Believe me, the more I thought about it, the more of an eye-opener. That explains a lot of things that have been strange in my life

over the last 60 years. But the fact that you were such a dedicated writer, you forgot you were nursing, your firstborn and nearly drowned the poor kid and breast milk, that's, you know, that's something on pack, I think. I think there's a tiny bit of hyperbole in there. Well, you know, you remember better than I do.

What part did I get wrong? All right. The story in your foreword about the Christmas tree. Let's talk about that. All right, fine. It's really funny. When Dad read your forward, you know, Dad is devoted to facts, to the truth.

The whole truth. And nothing but the truth. And he doesn't understand exaggeration hyperbole. He just he doesn't get it. He wants everything to be factual. And you wrote a story in your forward about when we went out into the woods and we brought home a Christmas tree. And you mentioned that when dad was putting up the Christmas tree, a sparrow flew out

of the branches and hit dad in the forehead. Uh-huh. Yeah, that's why I remember. And when dad was, dad was reading that, he said, that didn't happen. That never, we never had a sparrow fly out of them. He was, it was a raven. It was a crow, bald eagle. Yeah.

But it could have happened. That's how I explained it. I said, but John, it could have happened. Well, here's what I know happened. Animals came out of that tree at some point. And this is a very common thing that happens to a lot of people. Squirrels have come out of Christmas trees. Also true, that tree that we brought in looked more like a pointed hedge than a tree.

It was not a traditional tree. It was a giant thing and it took up half the living room. True? I think it was the top of a tree probably had fallen over. We cut the tip of it off and brought it back. Yes, just the tip. There's the new title for the episode. Oh, geez.

So, yeah, we got this giant Christmas tree back there in the house. I'll never forget that. I'll never forget the smell of cookies or ginger snaps or whatever it was you were cooking. I remember the sound of Christmas carols coming out of our radio. I remember it all like it was a scene from the Christmas story. Seems like yesterday. Now, I don't remember nearly drowning in breast milk as a one-year-old because you were preoccupied. But you do.

I mean, you told me that. Why would you make that up? I'm sure I don't know. I'm sure I don't. Could we move on to something else? We can move on to whatever you want, Mom. This is your big week, your book vacuuming in the nude and other ways to get attention. Is for sale now wherever people buy books.

We're in the midst of a book tour. You're very excited about all of this. So, yeah, what do you want to talk about? Your next book? No. Do you know there's something about this book? that I'm not sure I've emphasized enough. As you said, I always wanted to be published.

I wanted to have a published book. And for years, I was published in newspapers and magazines, but I didn't have a book. I meet people whenever I go to writers' conferences who long to be published, as I did. And the truth is, they never will. will. Many of them never will. And I want them to know that, and you alluded to this before, Mike, but I wanted them to know that you can be a successful writer without being published, without having

a book out there that's a bestseller. As I said, you alluded to this before that I realized that I had been successful. I had changed lives. When I think about my parents' pride, now they didn't live to see a book, but they were so proud of my writing. And I write about this story in my book when my dad turned 91. I went to the apartment where they were living. Actually, it was here at the home many years ago. My mother went out for the day, and I had brought some books along with me, and I had brought some of my writing along with me,

and they knew that I dabbled in writing, but I proceeded to read some of my poetry to my father. And my dad was blind, and he was lying in a twin bed alongside of the twin bed that I was lying in. and I was propped up and I was reading. You know, I had brought books with me

and I had brought my poetry. And as I read to him, he was so surprised. And I still remember his words. He said, did you actually write that, hon? Did you actually write that poem? And I said, yes. And he said, maybe someday you'll write a book.

You know, you'll have a book out there. He was proud of me. And when I think back at that, that brought me more. He made me proud that I had read that. And so glad that I could give him pleasure and make him proud. And my mother, oh my goodness, when my little stories came out, my mother, she was driving a rascal scooter at the time, she would put them in the basket of a rascal scooter,

and she would drive the halls of the home. and God help anybody she came across because they were about to look at my magazine article or my newspaper article. She was so proud. And really, I can't say that having a bestseller has given me any more pride than those experiences have. Well, think of your biggest fans, really.

Your dad, obviously. But, you know, I hadn't thought about Nana. on her eternal quest to celebrate her family, but of course, nobody ever took that job more seriously. My grandmother, to hear her talk about my career, Chuck, back in the day, when I was singing in the chorus of the Baltimore Opera, she would introduce me as, you know, one of Pavarotti's contemporaries. Oh, yes, Michael's touring the world right now.

He's a professional opera singer. That kind of thing does embarrass you, but it also, on some level, It makes you feel great that somebody sees you that way. I don't think she was bragging in the traditional sense. I think she actually saw me that way. And mom, she saw you as a successful writer years before you were one. And your husband, who is throughout this book and certainly in the forward too, he's the town crier.

He spent 60 years. He reads everything out loud. My mom writes everything. My dad reads everything, including her stories. And so, you know, those are three big boosters, and I count myself among them because I heard your stories my whole life and to be able to push them out there and to be able to tap the country on the shoulder and say, hey, get a load of my mom. Well, my dad's been doing that for 60 years. And your parents were doing that before then even. And so, yeah, that's your audience.

We're your biggest fans. And God, you know, to bring it back to me if I could ever so briefly, what in the world was dirty jobs. My whole misspent career prior to dirty jobs, I had long given up on any kind of realistic hope of having a hit show. I didn't swing for the fences anymore. I wasn't even auditioning anymore for shows that could be hits. I was really happy working the way I was working. six, seven months a year, take the rest of the time off, impersonating a host here and there. I mean, it just occurred to me that in some way, I think that's how you were writing.

I mean, you stopped agonizing over not being published and just started doing what you like to do. And then things happen, and you're on the TV. Funny old world. It is a funny old world. You know, I had something interesting happened about a year ago. one of your dad's cousins sent me a letter that I had written to her mother. This was years ago when I was just starting, you know, writing. And that letter meant so much to her that she had saved it.

I mean, this was like 50 years later, and they still had that letter. It just made me feel so good that I had brought pleasure to somebody in that way. And there's a story in the book about writing a eulogy for my best friend's funeral service. And on her deathbed, she made a request of me. She said, Peggy, would you speak at my service? And would you make my family laugh or smile? I've put them through hell for the last three years. I would really like it if you could bring them some pleasure.

at my surface, you know, make them laugh. Yeah, that was tough, but I did. Would you do? I did. I wrote the best eulogy I could come up with. And, you know, humor had been the thread that had run through our relationship. I think I call her Anne in the book. And so we had so many humorous experiences together,

and we had worked at the same job. And so whenever she was downed, I would tell her one of those funny stories of what had happened to me, you know. But anyway, it was just another example of how you can be successful if you want to be a writer. You can be a success without actually being published. You don't need a bestseller to accomplish your goal, you know, of entertaining. But what did you say to make them laugh at? arguably the saddest day of everyone's life.

How did you break through that? You know, Mike, we talked about this very same thing at the previous podcast that I was on. And you and Chuck just thought it was so funny. We cut that out, so let's do it again. Oh, wait a minute. Here's a strange man walking into the room. Uh-oh.

Who could that be? Come here, strange man, and say hello to some people. He'll come when he's ready. Yeah, that's what he does. He's on his own schedule. Dinner time, probably. So it was a daycare center, and my friend was telling me about somebody who had brought her child in to register her child for the daycare center. And she said to this mother, well, I can't remember the name I use now, but does little Billy have any unusual words for?

for using the bathroom that we should know about. And that would make his entry, you know, into our daycare center smoother. And she said, no, no, no. No, but sometimes when he goes stinky, he forgets to hold Mr. Beeper and he winkles on the wall. Forgets to hold Mr. Beeper down. Oh, gets to hold Mr. Beeper down and winkles on the wall. And really the place broke up when I told that story. And there were other stories that I shared in my knowledge.

I just wanted to see if you'd tell it again because nothing makes me smile more than hearing that sentence. And in fact, that was the title of the last podcast. Of the episode. Yeah. Yeah. So that's a good story. And your book is full of dozens of others like it. And now you're freaked out because you have no idea when your husband's going to come swooping into the shot, right?

I could see you looking over your shoulder. He just walked in back at the computer. He's over there in his domain, sitting in his blood. blue leather recliner eating something. What's he eating? John, would you care to come and say hello? No. He's not interested.

No, not today. Not today. He's reading his book. He's been on camera enough, you know, what with the special and all. America's Grandma Sunday, August 21st at 10 p.m. Eastern and Pacific. Nicely done, Chuck. Nicely done. Actually, does he have his hearing aids in right now?

I think so. Okay. So you think he can hear what you're saying? Possibly. Because I'm just wondering, honestly, I'm curious just as your son, how's he dealing with all this? I put myself in Dad's Place, and for 60 years, he's your biggest fan telling the world, hey, you should get a load of what my wife is doing. She's writing wonderful poems.

She's writing really fun stories. She's doing all these things. and then all of a sudden at 80, bang, and then at 82, boom, again. And now you're 84 again. How's he doing with all this? You know, it's funny, he enjoys bragging, and it's embarrassing for me, but he does brag about me to people that he meets here at the home, friends, strangers. It's okay that he does that.

I mean, I'm glad that he's proud of me. He's always there for me, your father. I mean, if I need anything, he is always there. Just this morning, I can't tell you, that stack of signatures, those long papers, they weighed 36 pounds, that stack. So dad put them into a box, went down and got one of those flatbed things, put the box on it, put these things in the box, and then he took them down for the FedEx person to pick up.

You know, he's always there to do anything. Sure. That makes my life easier. So I try to be here to make his life easier. So if he doesn't want to get out of his recliner right now. He doesn't get out. That's okay. He doesn't have to.

He's reading a book. What's he reading? What are you reading, John? Vacuuming in the nude and other ways to get attention. No, honey, what are you reading? The President and the Freedom Fighter. That's a great book. That's Brian Kilmey's book. Brian Kilme, yes. His book club is talking about this book this Friday morning at 10 o'clock,

and he's finished reading it, but he loved it so much. He's reading it, parts of it again. I love that. But he thought I said, what are you eating? And he said a granola bar. That's good, too. He could have put a twist on it. He could be reading a granola bar and eating Brian Kilmead's latest book. Wow. That would be remarkable.

Well, how are you feeling? We've been talking for an hour. I know you've got a big full day. What are you going to do with the rest of it? Oh, there's always a lot to do. You know, I've been so busy doing my stuff. I've neglected Dad. So I think maybe we'll go down and shoot a couple of games of pool.

He loves that. And let me tell you what he brought up here this week. Oh. I brought it over here. This is a vase. He turned it on a lathe and made this for me. Is that wood? It's wood.

It's wood. Wow. He wants everybody to know that he had help. He has an instructor who teaches him. His name is Ron Brown. He's wonderful. And he has taught John how to do this. But I think he has.

he did this pretty much on his own. The dark marks that you see are called spalting. Spalting. S-P-A-L-T-I-N-G. And really, it's a process of the tree kind of dying. These little streaks are parts of the tree that are no longer vibrant, I believe. Anyway, it's so beautiful. Isn't it interesting that a thing that's so

beautiful can have spalting running through it. I mean, that seems kind of beautiful in a way. It is. And I love it so much. I'd like to put it next to my pillow. Oh, well, that's silly. I know. That's goofy. But no, I mean, if you put some roses in it or something and empty vase by a pillow, I don't know what that signifies. I wouldn't rest your head upon it. No. No, I won't do it. It just means a lot to me. Is it a vase or a vase? I think I'll call this a vase because it's pretty fancy. If it's over 20 bucks, it's a vase. Oh, this is priceless.

So this is definitely a vase. I said that once on QVC and got really angry letters from vase makers who had deals with the network. They were selling vases for $9.99 and they wanted me to call it a vase. I'm like, well, it's under $20 at some point, right? Nobody had a sense of humor in those days, really. No, no, they really don't when they're selling product. Yeah, it's all about selling. People don't like their product made fun of.

They get up tight. They really do. I don't know if you tracked what she was saying before, but I've never heard anybody describe their signature in terms of gross weight, but she signed enough book plates. She signed 37 pounds of book plates. 37 pounds of signatures. Yeah. I did catch that. And I know this because Dad brought the bathroom scale in here and lifted up half at a time and put them on the scale.

And sure enough. And then did the math. Yeah. Did the math. You know what? You got to write a chapter. I mean, you've written so much about Dad, but the whole business of weighing and measuring, you've been weighed and measured. That would be a terrific.

That would be a book about that, right? He counts his steps. He tracks every mile traveled. He knows the weight of everything he's lifting. It's pretty fascinating. And how many gallons of gas he gets? Mm-hmm. Especially now with the price through the roof, right?

Yeah. Yeah. You've been weighed and measured. Is it time to say goodbye? It can be. I thought we were signing off before. Oh, well, these things have a way of kind of whineering. down on their own. It is probably time to go. It's been an hour and six minutes.

Okay. Do you feel like I've flogged your book? Oh, I think people, yeah, I think people have a sense of what this book is all about. Did you just pull that book out from underneath of the computer? And it's very cold. It's very cold. It has that ice pack to keep my computer. Oh, God. If people only know. the crap we do to get this thing done. We had our typical share of technical snafus, and the fans were so loud that mom had to go

and get some ice packs and put them under hers. Then my fan kicked on here. Look what I did. I took some of Freddy's food out of the freezer. Now it's soft. So I had frozen food numb-num stacked up under here. But it worked. My fan didn't come on, but my dog is starving.

But you're Keep it under the computer long enough It'll heat it up for him It'll be great I used the facts that we used on dad When he had his new pacemaker Installed And he had a lot of swelling up here

So we had to put this on his chest I thought you were going to say This is the ice we used after the hydroceal Oh no no I returned That's stories in my book by the way and it will be one of the more popular ones, I'm sure. That story is seared into my retina.

Spoiler alert. But yeah. In fact, the title of the podcast that was up right before this one was called, you probably don't listen to these things anymore. No, no, I did. On septum and scrotums. Yeah. Yeah.

I saw that word. So even though you went out of your way to make sure people know it's not erotica or pornography, it is true that vacuuming in the nude features. you on the cover with nothing but a barrel and your husband in one of the chapters with a giant engorged scrotum. People should just know that as they consider. Well, there is no picture of that, though. No. There's no picture. Not even an illustration. Thank God. And yet it's seared into my mind's eye. As Bill Dumas said in the lyrics of the song, I'll never be able to eat eggplant again. That's true. I mean, there are lyrics to that. That's right. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. If you

listen to the end, you'll hear the song. Whenever we're faced with a real eggplant, we remember that story, too. All right, folks, so if you're listening to this on the 16th of August, then my mom's book is officially available and you were officially invited to get a copy. There might be some autograph copies out there. I'm not sure they probably have already sold out, but vacuuming in the nude and other ways to get attention. I'm not just saying this because I wrote the forward and because She's my mom, but it's the best thing you've ever written, Peggy Roe. And I'm terribly proud of you. And I really am.

And I'm equally horrified by the prospect of having to write another forward for book number four. So you better get started now. Yeah, start now. Chuck could probably do a decent forward for you. He knows enough. It's in my head. Nice. Nice.

All right, mom. It's in your head. You're in my heart. I love you and I'll call you later. All right, honey. Thank you. Goodbye, Chuck. Bye, Maggie.

Put the frozen medical things back in those. I will. All right, good. This episode is over now. I hope it was worthwhile. Sorry it went on so long, but if it made you smile, then share your satisfaction

in the way that people do take some time to go on and leave us a I hate to ask, I hate to beg, I hate to be a nudge But in this world the advertisers really like to judge You don't need to write a bunch, just a line or two All you've got to do is leave a quick five-star review Not more

All you've got to do is leave a quick five-star review And not three. All you've got to do is leave a quick five-star review. Definitely not too. All you've got to do is leave a quick five-star review. We need five. All you got to do is leave a quick five-star five-star especially if you're in.

Thank you. What if your soda actually did something for you? Introducing Skypop protein soda. Skypot protein soda has 10 grams of complete protein, zero sugar, and real delicious soda taste. Skypot protein soda, reach for the sky. Get your skypot protein soda. Minnesota now at Target, Ralph's, or GoPuff. If you work in university maintenance, Granger considers you an MVP, because your

playbook ensures your arena is always ready for tip off, and Granger is your trusted partner. Offering the products you need all in one place, from HVAC and plumbing supplies to lighting and more, and all delivered with plenty of time left on the clock, so your team always gets the win. Call 1-800-Grangeer, visit granger.com or just stop by, Granger. for the ones who get it done.