The Way I Heard It with Mike Rowe - 341: Coffee with Mom—I Don't Know How to Arrange My Nickels with Peggy Rowe

Episode Date: August 24, 2023

America's grandmother shares more of her signature wit and charm while discussing her husband's cataract surgery recovery including a grueling eye drop schedule, the difference between an astigmatism and a stigmatism, forgetting your keys, the pros and cons of high stakes poker and Mahjongg, the meaning of PIE, and Lou Carter's song If I Had a Nose Full of Nickels.  Strap in for another coffee with mom.  

Shameless plug. Long before she was Peggy Roe, my mom was Peggy Noble, daughter of Carl and Thelma Noble. It was her father, Carl, who inspired me to pitch a show called Dirty Jobs to the Discovery Channel and later start a foundation that honored the kind of work Carl Noble did for a living, trade work, skilled labor. That foundation is called MicroWorks, and today I'm proud to tell you that We've helped thousands of people get the training they need to begin a career in the skilled trades. In fact, we'd love to help you. You can apply for a work ethic scholarship right now at microwerworks.org.

We've set aside $10 million for this year's applicants, thanks to a number of very effective fundraisers, including the one with my grandfather's name on the label. I refer, of course, to Noble Tennessee Whiskey, K-N-O-B-E-L, which is now available in a variety of delicious mash bills, all of which you can peruse at noblespirates.com. In fact, if you spend 100 bucks and use code Carl, C-A-R-L, you'll get one tube of orange bitter-infused sugar cubes for free. That's code Carl with a C to get nine sugar cubes, ingeniously engineered to make nine perfect old-fashions every time. It's my favorite way to support Microworks and my favorite whiskey to sip responsibly after a long day of interviewing people on this podcast.

Pick up a bottle at noblespirates.com. K-N-O-B-E-L-Spirits.com. Soon may the noble men come to bring a bottle for everyone. One day when the waitin is done, we'll take a drink and go. A cup of coffee with my mom. But people can listen to us getting it right. It's so boring. Dude, my whole career is based on a behind-the-scenes camera that never stops rolling.

I know, and I'm here to fix your career, Mike. Yeah, that's right. That's right. Because out of everybody on this call right now, my career isn't the most desperate need of fixing. I didn't want to say that out loud. Michael, that drink, you're still drinking that horrible-looking drink, aren't you? It does look like thoroughbreds urine. No.

Doesn't it? It looks like orange juice to me. Doesn't it? With a head. That is true. It does have a head. Lemon, apple cider vinegar, turmeric, ginger, cinnamon, cayenne pepper, collagen, honey, and water.

Well, there's nothing bad in there. What are the benefits that you believe or that you were told? Erections lasting four hours that are longer? Not good. Not good, dude. It's my fingernail. are growing faster and they're thicker, which I like. That's the collagen, yeah.

Right. Can you see this one? It doesn't explain all the other stuff. Put it up a little closer. I'm not sure what that is. Hi, Mom. How's it going? Hi, Mike.

It's going well, thank you. This has been a hectic week, but we're surviving. Good. I'm glad. Hectic howl. Oh, I know how. Well, Dad had surgery on Tuesday, had his cataract surgery on Tuesday. Tuesday. Yeah. And apparently it went well. The surgeon was pleased. We went to his post-op on Wednesday, and she said that everything looked fine. There was one little adjustment she had to make, and otherwise everything is fine. But, you know, there are a lot of restrictions after cataract surgery.

A lot of drops. Now, is this the same surgery that you had, and if so, is it the same surgeon who performed it? It is the same surgeon and the same surgery. But his eyes are normal where I have a stigmatism in my left eye. So that was a little more difficult and a little more expensive. I bet. You know, it's embarrassing for me to admit, as a guy who fancies, you know, knowing a fair amount of words and grouping them up in ways that oftentimes yield in some sort of, some sort of remuneration.

I was horrified to learn as an adult that an astigmatism or a stigmatism is not a stigmatism, but a stigmatism. And a stigmatism. And a stigmatism. Right. Correct. Right. So, I mean, what are the other derivations of that word?

Are there any? Are you astigmatic? Or is this where we get stigmatismat? Mata from by any chance? I'd rather doubt it. I only know that it means that your eyeball is an irregular shape. It's kind of elongated, I believe, which means a special lens, which means $1,500 more. Wow.

But dads were normal. Dad's for normal. Good. But, you know, he's not a lot. allowed to bend over. He's not allowed to put his eye lower than his heart. So he's adjusting. He played pool last night with Bob. We all went out to dinner and I looked across, the ladies were playing a game in the game room and I looked across and I could see the pool room and I saw dad. He was trying to shoot the ball without lowering his head. And he said he did okay. He

He won some games. Yes, and putting his shoes on, the first day I did it, put his shoes and his socks and his brace on. He didn't really like having me do that. So the next day he did it. So he's been doing it. He has a stool right in front of his chair and he just puts his foot way up on the stool. A stool being the thing you sit on with four legs, not the stool that we were talking about last week or last month. Yes, a little stool or a little bench.

Something that you can rest your foot on. Mike, coming in hot with a double entendre. Chuck, you're shaking your head like, oh, how dare I go there? But we've, I mean, honestly, if you look back on the topics that have been broached thus far during coffee with mom, I think you'll find stool and stool samples. If you were to search both of those, assuming you don't have stigmatism, you would see right there on the page, we've gone there before. Which really has nothing at all to do with cataract surgery.

So he's having his second eye done in three weeks. Okay. Cataracts does not affect your stool. Is that what you're saying? Well, I haven't gone there, but... I'll tell you, you get the stool in your eye, and you're going to have problems. You're going to have pink eye. Cataracts will be the least of your worst, you know what I'm saying?

Yeah. Yeah. Well, the most annoying aspect of this is that, the first week following surgery, you have to have drops in your eyes. Drops in the affected eye four times a day. Then the next week, it's three times a day. The next week it's two and then one. Oh, my God.

So for a month, you're having these drops. So in the meantime, you have your second eye done. So it takes a little organization. Will you be putting drops in his second eye? Like, is that a crossover where you're still dealing with his first eye? So two drops here at four? and then four drops over here at two. Three times.

Yes. Oh, my God. What does you have a chart or something? You must have like a giant matrix. There is a chart right on the refrigerator and whenever I. Yeah, but I can do it. How is John as a patient on a scale from one to ten? He's good.

He's really a good patient. I know you expected to hear something more exciting, but he's very good and he's very appreciative. and he hates for me to have to do things. So every night for a week, he has to sleep with a hard patch over that eye so that during the night he doesn't inadvertently scratch it or rub it or I don't sling my arm over and hit him in the eye. I try not to do that.

Does that happen a lot when you guys are slumbering? Over the years, it's happened once or twice from both of us. No, Your Honor, I didn't slap him. I was sleeping. Yes, that's what happened. My arm just reached out and cracked him over the nose. Sleep. Yes.

I got to tell you that I have, since I've been playing disc golf, I oftentimes will wake up in the middle of the night because I've thrown my arm like I'm throwing a disc golf. And I literally, my arm goes swimming. Like in a dream. Like in a dream. Like a dog chasing a rabbit. And my arm actually goes through the motion. Yeah. Yes.

It's disconcerning. It is. Yes. Yeah, it is. Hmm. I can see that as your defense in the courtroom. Well, Your Honor, I really didn't mean to kill her. I just, I was playing disc golf. I was just playing through, Your Honor. I was just playing through. Well, hey, I'm delighted that we're not talking about death. There was a lot of feedback. I think it was last month of the month before. People don't know quite what to make of. our conversation sometimes because, I mean, I don't think they're morbid necessarily, but, you know, it sure does seem like, I mean, offline we've been discussing mortality a lot. And, you know, you're welcome to talk about anything you want here. But, you know, I'm just, I just never know anymore what you're going to come out with. Well, I'll tell you, you know, I'm on social media. because my publisher thinks that's an advantage to writers to be on social media.

And I believe it is because I have lots of followers. But, you know, they really like stories that are upbeat, stories that are happy, stories that make them smile. Although this week I did one that wasn't really all that humorous, but it really has gotten a lot of traction. What'd you write about? Chuck can bring it up. I wrote about marriage.

Yeah, keeping it fresh, I believe. Keeping it fresh, yeah, uh-huh. And how dad does his part to keep it fresh. Like some days it's four drops in one eye, some days it's three drops in the other. That kind of... Well, we had gone to post-op. And when we left, we stopped at Costco

so that they could pop the lens out of his glass. his old glasses on the affected eye because he no longer needed that adjustment post-surgery. So now he's walking around with a lens in his left eye and nothing over here. So after that, we stopped at Bob Evans for breakfast. And he was looking at the menu, and I said to him, I'm glad you can read the menu, what looks good? And he looked up and he said, you do. Well, that's called keeping it fresh, you know.

Amen. Dad does that very well. What happened next? We ordered a big breakfast and we ate every bite. It was delicious. Thank God. Really. I don't know if you ever go to Bob Evans, but they have these enormous plates of food.

Who can eat three big pancakes, two eggs, three pieces of sausage, three pieces of sausage, three pieces of bacon and a big helping of home fries. So we just got one order and ordered a second plate. And it was plenty. This is where Chuck just gets up and excuses himself because you've triggered all manner of salivary glands. Very hungry now. Yeah. You're like, who can eat this? I'm like, I can. Yeah. Send it my way. It's still, it's still early out there. So you probably haven't had breakfast. No, I'm actually on your time zone, Peggy. I'm on the East Coast.

I'm in North Carolina. Mike hasn't had breakfast. Oh, I knew you were. Oh, I thought you had gone back. No, I'm staying here forever. Much to Mike's chagrin. No, I'm getting used to it. You enjoy yourself out there.

We all miss you here. Let me introduce you to the new producer. Peggy, Roe. Right. Oh, yes, right. I'm really. qualified to be a producer. I can't even get my Bluetooth hooked up.

Oh, come on now. It only took us 20 minutes. We got it. Well, the discouraging part is I was able to do it last month right away. Right away. But something was different. Something was different this month. Probably because you're in North Carolina.

That's got to be it. It could be. It could be. We've been at this for years now. It really is. Very, very rare. Very rare for it to start. just the way I want it to or for everything to fall in place.

You know, it's just endless, just endless things. Mikes, earbuds, connections, slow internet, inexplicably Bluetooth, a guy with a leaf blower, a guy with a weed whacker, the light is wrong. Power outages? Power, sure. And we're fortunate because we have never had a problem with an ambulance out front. Those sirens are a little bit noisy.

And they come, you know, frequently. How many people there at the home would have called that thing an ambulance? Did I call it an ambulance? No, no, you got it right. Yeah, an ambulance. Ambulance. But that's like a classic Baltimore thing. Dad calls it a meat wagon, but that's kind of rude.

It is a bit insensitive. They come from time to time, but certainly not every day. I want to tell you, Dad's out there working on his taxes, trying to figure mileage to doctor appointments and so forth. Well, a couple of days ago, he was working on his checkbook. He got out his register, and he said, do you think if you could iron this, it would straighten it out? The pages were all wrinkled and sticking up all over the place.

so I put it under the sofa cushion where dad sits and watches TV at night. And I said, you sit on this three hours a night for a couple of nights and it'll flatten out. So today he's working on his checkbook and says, I can't find my check register. If you see my check register and we both thought about it and thought about it and thought about it. Finally, I remembered putting it under the sofa cushion. So he took it out. And sure enough, it was flatter than it was. It's not perfect.

But that's what old people do. You put things, places, and you're sure that you'll remember where you put them, but you don't. That's age. Well, I suppose, I mean, maybe if it becomes more frequent, but that's a universal feeling of knowing. Like, you know that that register, it just didn't get up and walk out. you know it has to be somewhere, and it's not in the place, it's not in a logical place. And when that happens, something sort of delicious occurs, at least for me anyway. Like when I misplaced my keys, right, I know I'm going to find them, but there's a period where I can't for the life of me imagine where they went.

Or, to be more accurate, where I left them. And so it becomes... And do you find yourself looking in place? that you know they couldn't possibly be like the refrigerator or the pantry. I mean, I ran down one day. I think I might have told you this. I was running late for a VO. And I ran downstairs to leave.

And I realized I didn't. I forgot my coffee. And I went back up to get my coffee. And then I went back down to get into my car. And suddenly I didn't have my keys. And I'm like, well, wait a minute, I just opened the car. So I know I have my keys. So I searched the car and I searched my pockets.

I'm like, I must have taken them upstairs. This is inexplicable. And I go upstairs and I check the counter. I mean, all the places, like there are five or six places where I conceivably could have left them. And to your point, once everything conceivable has been checked, then you have no choice but to enter into the realm of the inconceivable. And that's when things get delicious, right? Because it's like that episode, I think it was the Twilight Zone or like little blue men following us around all of the time. And sometimes they move things.

Like that was the explanation in the Twilight Zone for this feeling. But I have not yet subscribed to that feeling. I just know that when I was about to give up, I literally felt something like I could have lost my mind, but I was hanging on because I knew there had to be a rational explanation. and when I opened up the microwave and saw them sitting inside the microwave. Michael, you did not. I swear to God, they were in the microwave because somehow, in my mind, I'm thinking about the VO I've got. I'm thinking about the route I want to take.

I know there's construction up here on the one road. And the coffee, I had left it in the microwave. I had heated it up and I was just going to grab it and go. And somehow in that grab and go, I took my coffee, but for whatever reason, I put the keys where the coffee had been. Like I was doing some sort of cosmic swap. Like Indiana Jones replacing the gold thing in the tunnel with a bag of rocks or whatever to keep the weight there. Right. I can't, for the life of me, know why I would have done it.

But that memory just vanished. and I knew it. I knew I was going to figure it out, but the pressure of being late and then just being teased and titillated by the undeniable prospect that those keys were somewhere. They had to be.

I love that feeling. Oh, that's terrible. I think I'm going to worry about you, Mike. Go ahead. Yeah, I think I'm worried about you. Well, one night, you know, I don't cook very often, but one night I did have a casserole. I preheated the oven

and then I put my casserole in the microwave and I even put the timer on for the well guess what 30 minutes later there was nothing in the oven it was in the microwave I hope I don't do that again

that was scary well yeah but what a fun moment when you open up the oven and it's not there nothing's there and your brain has to sort it out you're going to have to sort this out. Well, people are still raving, raving,

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Do what my mom did. Get yourself unlimited high-speed data for just $3499 a month at puretalk.com slash row. You can switch in as little as 10 minutes at puretalk.com slash row. Pure Talk I got a good one for you These air pods that I'm wearing These are the second pair that I have Because one day I got up

I had my pajamas on And I put my AirPods in my pocket I was doing whatever I was doing I was on the phone I took them off I knew I put them in my pocket And I went about my day I got dressed I went and we had a podcast later that day

And I was like okay, where my AirPods? And I reached in my pocket. I'm like, they're not there. Oh, it's my pajamas. I pick up my pajamas. I knew exactly where they were in the pajamas. I pick up the pajamas. I reach in the pocket and they're not there. And then it's like, ooh, because I distinctly had a memory of putting them in my pocket. And I went all over the place. I mean, I first just did everything. I looked everywhere. I looked at the stupid places like in the refrigerator. And I thought, what? But it's like, no, I had this memory. And then I took, and I remember the find my, you know, my iPhone thing. And I'm like, okay, let me type this in.

And it's like, oh, they're here in the building. Okay, I know they're here in my house. And so then it's like, you put it on and it didn't beep. I didn't think to hit the beeping thing. But I hit the, you know, the directional. And it took me to a place. And I'm standing in this place and it's in my bathroom downstairs. And it's nowhere in the bathroom.

And I think, well, maybe it's right above me upstairs. So I go upstairs in the back. bathroom and it says, no, I'm right here. I'm right on top of it. And I'm like, well, I have no idea. And then I said, well, maybe it's in the garage. So it went down two stories to like where I think this is in the garage. I'm like, how could they be in the garage? They would not be in the garage. And finally, I was so frustrated. I mean, this is like maybe the better part of an hour that this happened. I drove to Costco and bought a new pair. And then like two or three days later, I get up in the morning. It was a little chilly. And I put my bath robe on. And I put my bathrobe on.

and I stick my hands in the pockets, and it was in the pocket of my bathrobe. That's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good one. But like standing in the space, you're right on the space, and I'm looking at it, it says it's right here.

And I could not find it. No, that's great. That's great. It was hanging on the door of my bathroom door behind me. I couldn't see it. I can't beat that, but I'll tell you about two weeks ago, I misplaced mine, and I was searching for them.

I was maybe 20 minutes into it. And it was the same kind of day, running around, just plates spinning, dealing with things. And I eventually just sat down in the living room and I just like, be rational, go through the last hour again. And then my phone got a text. And my phone was in the kitchen. And suddenly, as if God was talking to me, I heard, in. Inside my body, a voice say, someone with a 310 area code has sent you, and I realize, God, bless America, the earbuds are in my ears. They're in my ears.

I think that wins. Well, it only went on for maybe 20 minutes. You went for days and went to buy some new ones and everything else. That's it. But, yeah, when you hear it. voice come in your head. It's like, okay, that's a hint. Yeah, I found them. Found them.

That's a glasses on your head kind of story. You've done that, Peggy, right? I've done it, yeah. Everybody's done that. So do you wear your AirPods out? I mean, I see people shopping in the grocery store and they're talking and they've got their AirPods. Aren't you afraid you'll lose one? Because sometimes they fall

out. I lost one on a plane not too long ago because I had it in the whole flight and I had forgotten about it. You get used to them, you know. I'm just waiting for the unintended consequence of these things. There's going to be some sort of hearing. The brain cancer? Or the tinnitus, you know, yeah, could be the brain cancer. Probably an astigmatism will form in your ear. An astigmatism, yes. I don't think so. I don't think that's going to happen. What's new in the wide world of hobbies, mom? What are you into now? Has anything changed?

Any new adventures? There's always something new. Golly, I've been so busy, But the other night, I was down at the fitness center because I do, if I sit a long time at the computer, I do go down to the fitness center and I get on, well, sometimes I get on the elliptical, but that's pretty demanding. I really prefer, it's something called the new step. You sit and your feet go back and forth pedaling while your arms go back and forth. So you're moving your limbs. I don't know how, you know, I don't know how much of a workout it is. I never break a sweat. But I do that.

But anyway, I was on my way back up to the apartment, and I passed, you know, I passed the dining rooms, and I passed the puzzle table and the pool table, and I passed the card room. And there were two big tables filled with people playing poker, seven at each table. Do you play poker, Chuck? I play poker quite a bit. You're kidding, right? Oh, no, Chuck has a problem. Chuck has a poker problem.

I'm not going to lie to you. I play two games of poker online today earlier this morning. Oh, you do? Well, I want to learn because it was fun. I mean, I just stood at each table. People know who I am, you know, and they'll say things like, You're going to write about me? And I'll say, well, I might do a story about poker,

I won't write about you specifically. And then I took some pictures of the table because I don't like to take pictures of people. And they said, oh, no, take my picture. Take my picture. So anyway, somebody had to get up and go. So the men invited me to their table. One table had five women and two men. The other one had seven men.

And then one had to go. So they invited me to sit down. I said, I don't have any money. And I don't know how to play poker. And they said, well, that's all right. You're good company. Just sit with us. and I was just going to stay a couple of minutes, but it was so fascinating.

I don't know what kind of poker you play, but there are so many variations. There are. I mean, the only one I had heard of was seven cards stud and then five card stud. Then they had something where pears are wild and the card after the pair is wild. It gets so convoluted. Well, I mean, these are elderly people. and two or three of them were really sharp and kept everybody else on their toes,

but there were a couple who they never knew when it was their turn, you know, well, how much do I have to put up? No, you put up two nickels. They play for nickels. But I think it would be fun because there are so many varieties and it's kind of convoluted and complicated.

I don't understand all the terminology. I don't know why when you say check, you don't have to put money in, but then when it comes back around, I don't know how to play, but I would be happy to teach you it and everything about it. Oh, God. I love poker. I have played since I was probably nine years old because they used to play in my house all the time. My grandparents, my mom, everybody had their own coffee jar filled with nickels and pennies and dimes and quarters.

And they had their name on it and they would just come over and just pick up their jar, go to the table, and they would play with those. And, yeah, that went on forever. Well, these people really love it. They played two or three nights a week. In fact, there are games. I think he said four nights a week somewhere, but not in this particular room. Because Oakrest has three communities and a lot of game rooms. But when I sat there, I kept feeling like I was in a Western because my only connection to poker is whenever you watch a Western, the guys in the saloon, you know, or playing poker.

And I felt like they should all have a cigar or, you know, or cigarette. Right before somebody gets shot. shot, usually. And I said, is anybody packing heat before I sit down? Because I don't want to get in the way of shots under the table. And they assured me nobody was packing heat. But it was fun. I've played a lot of other games here. Well, you know what? You are a gamer. We come from a long line of gamers, but you're going to cross a line with poker or you're going to cross into another level of complexity. Not that Pinochle can't be complicated, or hearts or all the other games you play. But poker is endlessly. Like the possibilities are truly endless. And Chuck is, Chuck's a good player. I mean, you're up,

right? As they say. I did stop counting a few years ago, but I kept track for a while and every year I was ahead. I shouldn't say that out loud. He goes on cruises. He's been on poker cruises. Oh, so you play for money. Yes. I mean, when you play for money. Yes. I mean, when you play online you don't play for money, do you? I'm afraid I do. We play not for money online. I play with my friends, but we exchange money based upon the game that occurs online. We just use the online thing. Are there ever bad feelings? Very, very rarely, very rarely. Not that are expressed. Sometimes it can happen in a game where somebody does something sloppily or wants to take back. Like, oh, no, I didn't mean to do that. I meant to do this. That can trigger people.

but when you're in person. But no, we're pretty good. We all get it. We understand that there is a bit of luck in the game. It's not a total skill game. It's way more skill than, you know, like monopoly or something. But, you know, it's if there weren't luck involved, then the pros would win all the time. But professional card players can run all the numbers.

It's really just playing the odds, you know. But I mean, but there's also, I mean, unlike Dominoes or Big Two, or rummy, you know, you're also playing the person. That is correct. I mean, so there's a lot. Play the player, yeah. That's what's so interesting, like in a home, like O'Krest, I'd be fascinated to see how that generation is, you know, playing the person.

Yeah, because it's, I mean, it's such a big part, especially once you introduce wagering into the whole process, you know. Yeah, I think they only play for, Well, they had some dimes, but I only saw nickels. And the highest raise or amount that I saw put out was 15 cents. That seemed kind of big. But some people like to play for quarters, they tell me. But they don't like to do that there.

What's the most you've ever won, Chuck? Over $1,000 for sure. Chuck. Do you have a problem, Hunt? Not that while I'm winning, no. one time I played I went to Vegas for the World Series of Poker for the very first time one time because I played in a home game we ranked points and every game we put aside like five bucks out of the buy-in toward the big jackpot and then we played a game at the end of the year and whoever won that game took the money that was in the jackpot and had to play in a World Series of Poker game and everybody else in the game got a piece of them. In other words they got you know like 10% was done. divided up. I get to keep 90% and then 10% is divided up amongst all the other players. And I went, I played in a $1,000 game at the World Series of Poker, and I played there for probably 14 hours,

I think, the first day and made it through the bubble, which is the bubble is, if you bubble, you don't win any money. If you make it past the bubble, then you're in the money. And I made it a little bit past the bubble. I would have done, I would have made it a lot further, but I, I wound up getting my kings cracked. A guy basically hit a three-outer on me. He had Ace King. I had a pair of kings and he hit an ace. And I lost that and then I went downhill. But I... No, Mom, he doesn't have a problem at all. This is all perfectly more. You know, I cashed out for, I think, about 2,200, something like that. So, so it was... Well, when you go, do you take a certain amount of money with you and say, when I lose that, I'm finished?

of my money. Yeah. And then when I lose that, I'm finished. I take a certain amount of money. All of it, certainly. I do do that. I say, I'm only going to take this amount. And, uh, you know, and that's it. You know, when you play for money, it's a different ballgame altogether.

My God. That's what Mike tells me. Look, that's why I can't do it. I mean, I can't, I hate gambling. I hate gambling in casinos and I hate gambling cards and I hate playing for money. and I really have thought a lot about why I hate it. And I'm not sure any of this is to my credit, but I'm a better winner than I am a loser.

I don't like to lose, whether there's money involved or not. I think you speak for everybody. Yeah, most people are like that. Not you, Mom. I've seen you lose and you're just, I've seen you cheat in order not to win. I've seen my mother cheat in order not to win. because my mother in a card game, no matter how heated it gets,

if she starts to feel bad for somebody who hasn't won in a while or who is so far behind in points, she will cheat to favor them. And she will try to convince the other people in the game, that it really wouldn't be in their interest to keep winning when somebody here is just getting battered. You're like the Robin Hood of Cards, Peggy. She is. She's socialist with cards.

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A-ha! Except that I don't play for money. But, well, I did that not too long ago. four of us ladies play at one o'clock on Mondays in the library, unless I'm really busy and I can't go. And one of those ladies had never played a game in her life. Never played a card game. Grew up in a house where it was believed that gambling was sinful.

Like a jumble-the-witness kind of thing? Games were sinful. And she didn't even know how to play rummy. Well, now she's been thoroughly corrupted, but along that process, I tried to let her win from time to time, you know, so she could get a taste of why it can be fun. I don't know how I feel. I don't, I mean, as a kid, you're super competitive, Ben. I'm actually not. I'd rather not play than get into this whole money thing.

Look, here's what I learned, playing cards for money. I learned that it didn't bring me a lot of joy to take my friends' money. And it brought me an incredible amount of annoyance to give my friends money. So there was no upside for me playing for money. But just generally, you're competitive when it comes to playing games. I mean, I think a ping pong at Essex Community College. Yeah. You were very competitive.

Yes. Well, you know what? It's no fun playing with somebody who's not competitive. at least a little bit. Yeah, like Scott. Oh, Scott will let you win in a heartbeat. Well, Scott just doesn't care. His feeling, you know, winning and losing, like if you hooked up something to his brain,

there would be no signal to indicate victory or defeat. He just doesn't care when it comes to games like that. It's a middle child thing. Probably so. You know, I did gamble one time. We spent winters and four. Florida with Scott and Margie many years, and it stopped when COVID came. We couldn't go, and we haven't been back since, but we might resume. So two days a week, I would play Mahjong

with groups. Once a week, I would go to the community center and play, and it was fun. It was feel good. It was a big room filled with tables of four, and everybody was welcome, and It was a fun experience. And then I went to another community center, and I called them ahead of time. It was actually a Jewish temple that I went to. And I called them ahead of time because I saw that they had mahjong every Wednesday. And I said, I've never been, and I'm not Jewish. And would I be welcome to come and play mahjong?

And she said, of course, our doors are open. everybody's welcome. And I said, oh, fun. I'm going to come and play with you on Wednesday. And she said, well, you're more than welcome. She said, pie is $3. I said, well, I'm going to come, but I won't be eating any pie. And she left, and she said, no, honey, pie is the amount of money that you can lose. So bring $3 with you and you won't lose any more than $3. And who knows, you might go home with, you know, with some money. So I thought about it, and I thought, you know what, this is good material. This would be funny to write about.

I've never played for money. Well, I talked to your cousin Nancy, and I told her I was going to go that afternoon. She said, Peggy, don't go. She said, those women will eat you alive. And I said, Nancy, I want to go. I'm going to go. And she said, okay, well, get. dressed up because these ladies are going to be all dressed up. No house dresses, you know,

they're going to be all dressed up and wear any jewelry that you have if you want to fit in. So I did have a ring and I put my ear rings on and I got dressed up and I went. Well, it was fun. I lost all my money in no time. And I'm a pretty good mahjong player. But I lost all my money. So after I lost my money, after you lose your money, you can continue playing. And one of the ladies at the table said, so I put out a tile that someone picked up and won with. I didn't have much choice because of what was in my hand.

And she said, well, you should have known she was going to win. You knew she needed that tile. I said, no, I didn't really know for sure. She said, well, that's okay for you to say, you've lost all your money, but the rest of us are still, we've still got money. But they were extremely nice to me, and they invited me back the next week, of course. And so I went. I went the next week, and I didn't lose all my money.

In fact, I won a couple of games. And these ladies were just super nice to me, and they didn't know I was a writer, and they didn't know I was going to write about it. So I went. I went on Wednesdays. and sometimes I won and sometimes I lost. But I always felt welcome. And that was my only experience gambling with money.

And tell you the truth, I'd rather not. I think it changes the dynamic. Well, the thing I don't understand, and Chuck, you can speak to this. If you're playing for nickels, dimes, and quarters, if you're playing for anything you can afford to lose. Yeah. Then where are the stakes really? like, where's the action?

And as you think about that, you know, I want to clarify something I said, too. I said I don't gamble. That's not true. I don't gamble in casinos and I don't gamble with cards. But, I mean, I gamble every day a lot. I mean, I make big bets on all sorts of things in business and in the foundation. You know, but there are bets that I feel like I can support. I'm betting on myself or my team in some way.

And it's risky and I've lost plenty, but like Chuck, I think of one more. You know, I'm up overall in the game of life. That's fair to say. But I mean, what's the point in gambling with nickels and quarters or even big bills if losing them doesn't change anything? Well, it's a way of keeping score, you know, so you know. So you know, it's like, okay, I'm going to go and play poker and you take $20 or whatever. And if you come back with zero dollars, it was, I didn't do very well.

If you come back with 45, you go, well, that wasn't bad. You know, it's a way of keeping score, I would say. Yeah, but is that different than writing down the score? You know, you can buy a cup of coffee with it, you know, if you'll win. Well, I'll tell you what I do. When I play mahjong online and, you know, you know, you know, you can. You know, when I've been writing for an hour or two, and my eyes are getting blurry and I need a change, I'll hop on to a mahjong game online and you play with live people.

And every time I win, I keep my card right here. Every time I win, I give myself a little dot on the hand, on my winning hand. And it does make me feel a little bit proud to look at my car. Look at all those red dots. Look at all the times I've won. I don't feel quite as good about winning if I don't put that dot there. Interesting. It's a thing.

I mean, so yes, of course, gambling, wagering is a way of keeping score. It's certainly not the only way. But Chuck, I mean, you know a lot of people who gamble. How do you know when they have a problem? How do they know when they have a problem? You know, when they start coming to you and asking for money. But I don't think anybody in my game has a problem. I mean, I know there is one guy who went through a bad streak where he lost a lot,

multiple weeks in a row or whatever. And I know that he would stop on the way home at the ATM and withdraw money just so that his wife wouldn't give him a bunch of crap. Yeah. Yeah, there you go. There's a warning sign. That might be a warning sign. Yeah, right. Well, I still would like to learn how to play because it looks like...

Well, it's going to cost you, Peggy. But I'm happy to do it. Oh, I think I let these guys teach me. They're very friendly. They always are. They're always friendly, Mom. Yeah, at first. Yeah, like those Mahjong ladies.

Yeah, right. They hustled you. First day is free. Please come back next week. You're more than welcome. Oh, yeah. the light to be around. Yeah, and you know what? The pie is $5. The pie is now $10. Oh, I don't really understand the game. Don't worry. We'll let you know when you win.

Yeah. Yeah. No. Is the pie a thing, Chuck, in poker? Is that a common term? Never heard that expression. The pie. The pie is three. I don't know how you spell it, whether it's P.I or P. I'm not sure, but it's an interesting concept. Well, P.I. Pie, Interestingly, is also three or close to it. 3.14, I believe, is pie, right? Yeah. You know what I'm talking about, Mom? It's a match.

I do. I do. I thought it was 3.17, but 3.14 is probably right. How would I do that with a calculator? Say, what is pie? It'd be PI. Into my calculator? Just say.

What is pie? Oh, the value of pie. Hey, Siri, what's the value of pie? Yeah, I'm just going to give you a... Here are the first 10 digits. of pie, 3.14, et cetera. So yeah, there you go. Three point one. Right. All right. Well, that's fascinating. Mom, anything else? It's 46 minutes. I got a big day. I got a big day in front of me today. I got a lot to do. So if you got anything else interesting, this is the time. Are you going to write?

Yeah, I wrote this morning. Oh, Mike, I've, yeah, I'm accomplishing quite a bit. A few months ago, I was really worried that I was, had kind of hit a snag. that I was just so busy doing this and that. And there's always something I'm supposed to be doing. I just wasn't getting a lot of writing time. But, yeah, this last couple of months, I'm really, yeah. So this is book four. How many words we got?

Do we know? Well, I've got about $30,000 already. And I've got a lot of stories that need a lot of, you know. More words. You wouldn't believe how many notes I have. I keep taking all. all these notes and I've got pages and pages, pages and pages of notes that are good notes, and they will enrich my stories.

And so, yeah, it's fun. All right. I do enjoy it. Well, get on it because I know that, you know, I read, we've talked about this before, but is there a greater, what's the biggest impediment to writers? The single biggest impediment writer's face? Well, it certainly isn't, in my case, it is not that I don't have the material because I have material falling from the heavens 24-7. You know, it's assimilating it, it's organizing it, and so forth.

But it's finding it's distractions. That's it. That's the answer. And I remember Stephen King said the most important thing a writer needs is a door with a lock on it. I would never do that. But I know writers who are younger and have children and have children outside of their door waiting for their time and attention. I don't have that distraction. I have dad.

But, you know, since we moved here, he's really busy and he's very respectful of my writing time. I never worry that he's bored. It doesn't have anything to do. There are so many activities here at the home. So if I'm not accomplishing anything now, it's just my own fault. All right. Well, just don't forget about the matrix on the refrigerator with the drops that need to be administered every hour or so. You're probably timed like right now, right?

Two o'clock, yeah. Two o'clock. So it's two o'clock now. All right. He had him at nine. He gets him at two, and he gets him at seven and eleven. Wow All right, mom

Anything else you want to say? No, except that I look forward to these visits with you guys Next time I come, maybe I'll tell you I've played a game of poker Or not Or maybe I'll just go and watch again No, go play. It'd be fun. Yeah. There's something new.

I don't know how to arrange my nickels. Some people had these little troughs that they put their nickels in, and they're all so neat. Some of the men are so neat and the women. And some of them are really sloppy. They just throw them all in together, and they've got their dimes in there. Peggy, you play Big Two, right? Oh, I play Big Two, yeah.

Well, you know, the hands that you play in Big Two are poker hands. Yes, I do know poker hands. Okay. It's all the variations that are. Oh. And they have funny names, and those guys all know what they're. mean, you know. Next time I'll take notes.

I don't know how to arrange my nickels. They bring rolls of nickels. Yeah, they arrange rolls. Those are just to hold in their hands if they get in a fight to like, you know. Oh, is that what they do? Yeah, that's what the roll of Nichols is for. I didn't see any fighting. That's good.

That's probably a good sign. I tried to watch the women and the men and see the differences in their approach and their attitude. The women laugh a lot more. interesting. And the men cuss a little. That I can see. But maybe they were holding back because I was there.

I don't know. And I don't know how many to take. I think I better just watch for a while. If I have any questions, Chuck, I have your number. Please. Yeah. Call me anytime. Do you know the song?

If I had a nose full of Nichols? No. It's a great song. I think it's Louis, Louis, the singing cab driver. Lou Carter, Lou Carter, a guy in Chicago. came out with an album years ago.

It's sort of almost in the style of Al Jolson, but he's got such great songs on it. They're like whimsical and funny and just surprised more people have never heard of him. What is his name? His name's Lou Carter, and he's the singing cabby. If I had a nose full of nickels, I know just what I would do. I would give them to folks who was having tough times, for I know that would bring me a heart full of dimes.

I'd spend the dimes on streetcars to take poor kids to the zoo. That would leave me with one streetcar token. Yes, my heart would be broke, but not broken. Like I said to Mitch, if you're poor and not rich, I'd sneeze all my nickels at you. Clever. Oh, I'm going to look him up. He also wrote, down where the streetcar bends.

I met my love in the summertime, down where the streetcar bends. I kissed my love in the wintertime, down where the street car bends. We used to spoon by the fork in the road, where lovers would dilly and dally. But they dug up the park where we kissed in the dark and built a bowling alley. It's just so random. Yeah, I love it. Yeah, yeah, really great. You'll like him.

Lou Carter, the singing cabby. I'm sure he's out there somewhere on Spotify. Oh, I'm sure. I'll find it. All right, and now it's time to do the drop. I got to make the drop now. Oh, the drops. Got to make the drop.

Sounds like a spy novel. Okay. Yeah. Time to make the drop. Thanks, everyone, for joining me for coffee with my mom. Whatever you do, arrange your nickels in an efficacious fashion, and don't forget the drops. Love you. This episode is over now. I hope it was worthwhile.

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