The Way I Heard It with Mike Rowe - 352: Mailbag!

Episode Date: October 17, 2023

While answering listener questions, Mike and Chuck sip Knobel and discuss the future of TWIHI, Mike's trip to Italy, the Rowe family reunion, an inappropriate rendezvous high above the opera house, piano-playing kitties, embarrassing teenage moments, and the day Chuck almost died on a photoshoot.  

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Well, here it is then. It's episode number 352 of the way I heard it. It doesn't really have a title. Because we don't know what it is yet. We don't know what it is. What we do know for sure is that we're trying something new. And if you're watching on YouTube, you've already figured it out. We're in person.

in my office down in Santa Monica, where with an extraordinary amount of good luck, we'll be able to do many, many more of these because as much as I've loved it, Chuck, as much as I've really truly enjoyed the chance to sit with you virtually and interview many, many dozens of excellent subjects over the last couple of years,

it's just simply not as satisfying as being face-to-face. Mono and mono. Yes, I realize that you have found the experience of the, virtual experience lacking in... I wouldn't say lacking so much as I hate it. Right, that's it.

I just hate it. I always confuse those two. What you're hearing now is ICE falling into a couple of tumblers because I thought we'd celebrate this, our inaugural launch of an in-person podcast with a little snort of my grandfather's whiskey. Can I tell you, I've had about two drinks in the last month and like last five weeks, maybe? Really? Yeah, two total drinks.

All right. One was with Deegan. Met him for a cocktail. And I thought, I invited him to drinks. And I thought, well, crap, I guess I better have a drink. Michael Deegan, our old friend? Yeah. What a terrific drunk he is.

Oh, he's great. Oh, no. You never know when he's drunk because he can put it away, man. This guy is one of the great commercial producers of all time. Yeah. In no way is he overwhelming. But he's so constantly and consistently there. Yes.

Everything you want a producer to do. He anticipates every problem there is. is. He always has a solution. He always has a smile. He's the consummate entertainer. He knows how to take care of the client as well as the talent. And he just manages egos and he solves problems. And honestly, there's so much you could learn from him, Chuck. Let me just say that the greatest lesson I learned from him, the greatest thing he ever did was to keep me from dying when we did the dog thing, when we did the Novartis thing. That is right. Because you were on the verge of full-on heat stroke.

Correct. We were in San Francisco. We scheduled a photo shoot. We were walking around San Francisco, and it wasn't L.A. hot, but it was hot. It was warm. And, of course, I'm in this suit that is just, it's like 10 inches thick around. If I had a nickel for every time, I've heard that. Oh, dear. But for people who don't know what the world he's talking about, years ago, a company called

Novartis approached me and said, hey, we'd like to hire you to do some commercial commercials for a flea and tick product. Yes. And I'm like, I don't have fleas or ticks, you know. Would you like some? And they laughed. And they were like, no, but you have a dog. And so we started talking about creative.

And what came out of that conversation was, well, rather than using my real dog, what if we use my best friend, Chuck, and dress him up like a dog? And he will sort of assume the identity of, say, like Felix from the odd couple, persnickety, right? very fastidious. And I'd be the dirty job sloppy guy. Right. And together, we learned that you're infested with fleas.

Yes. Well, it was very, very funny. And no need to go down the whole rabbit hole. But your point was you were a Baranese Mountain Dog in a full-on fur suit. Yeah, my face was the only part of my body that was not covered with thick fur. The people who designed this costume put no, like zero R&D into the idea of of like there is a living human that must inhabit this thing. And we walked around San Francisco and took pictures of me like squatting in front of a fire hydrant

and reading the paper, stuff like that. You're holding a bag, crap. And then we came back and we were under the hot lights in the studio. And all of a sudden I was like, I think I need to sit down. And everybody was so like, oh my God, you're right. There's nothing breathable about this thing. It's basically like a rubber suit held together with canvas with a thick. with a thick, thick layer of fur on the outside.

With a bare skin wrapped around it. Yeah. So Deegan says, hey, you know, I read about these NASCAR drivers who are in incredibly hot situations, and they have these body cooling suits. Yeah. This is really what a great producer does. It's like in a twinkling.

Calls are made, and a piece of technology arrives, and you put that thing on. I still remember you stand in there like your old man boxer shorts and a wife beater, putting this thing over top of it, going, this is the most jacked up thing ever, and then putting that thing on. And then hours later, you were like, I feel like $100, man.

Are you kidding me? It was amazing. I could do this all day. So basically what it is, it's like a very tight-fitting shirt that has little tubes going through it. And then out of the back of the suit was this little tube

that you plug into a giant cooler that is filled with ice. water and it basically circulates ice water all through the tubes and I'll tell you it is like taking a cold bath yeah man it was awesome it's right up there in terms of innovation I think with the uh wildly underrated and uh unfortunately not fully utilized stadium pal what's that oh the stadium pal is a game changer picture a small water bottle not a water bottle uh what do you call what do you call call it, a heating pad. Something about the size of a, like a hot water bottle. Hot water bottle. That's right. About half that size. And narrower. And what you do is you strap it to your

ankle. Oh, no, I know where this is going. Okay. Yeah. And there's a tube attached to it. Of course there is. And the tube runs into what can only be described as a... Your penis? No, it's not that direct. Oh. It's not surgery. It's a condom. It's a condom. So, well, I mean, what would you rather do? Put the tube in the condom or in Start the tube into your penis. No, you know what? I'll take the condom. Right, of course.

Condum for 10. All right. So you put the tube screws into the end of this prophylactic. And that goes on to your manhood. Yes, right. And then you put your pants on. And then you go to the stadium and you can watch the whole game. Wow.

You never have to get up. You know who needs that? Is everybody who goes to Times Square for New Year's. Would you ever? I lived in New York City for three years. I never even wanted to. I did it once. You did?

Yep. Were you working? No, actually. I was living there and we got a restaurant right in Times Square that was doing one of those specials. So you got there early for dinner and then you go upstairs and you sit on sort of a half balcony. It's an elevated thing and you look down onto the Great Unwashed. That's civilized. Yeah. You had access to a bathroom, though, I presume.

Well, yeah, but that's not to say I didn't have two stadium pals on because you have two legs. Two, yeah. Only the one penis. But, you know, well, you know, for now. Yeah. I mean, okay, so look, what's going to happen is, I mean, obviously we don't have a guest. We don't have a show. It's a miracle you're still listening or watching.

Chuck is multitasking in ways I haven't seen. He's manipulating his cell phone now trying to time this thing over to his right out of the camera. you, we have a computer that's set up, we have a mixing board that no one's operating, we have three cameras, we're sitting here, as I said, in my old office, and so we've asked people to ask questions, and you've aggregated a few. Yes. And really, it's just an excuse to drink some of this whiskey and catch up with you in person. So before you jump in, please lift the glass and have your third drink of the month to

our friend Michael Deegan. Yes. cooling suits and all of the excellent listeners who have driven this podcast into the top 2000, where would we be without them? And where would I be without you? I mean, I'll probably fire you this week. Of course you will. It hasn't happened.

Which one is this? The Rick House? It's the Rick House, yeah. Why, that is different. It is different. Now, it's been a while, obviously, since I've had some, but... The Rick House came out after the original juice. Yeah.

It's a slightly higher proof. and it's a little younger. But we finished it in these French oak staves. That's what I'm tasting. It's got just a hint of sweetness to it and a little bit of oak that the first one didn't have. Anyway, it's delicious and proceeds, shameless plug of online sales benefit

the MicroWorks Foundation, so there you go. I wanted to ask you one other thing. You've come back from Italy. Do you want to talk about Italy? Not really, no. Great. You know something? No, I had a buddy who got married.

No, he didn't. What do you have? A birthday. He turned 60. He turned 60 years old. It's the same guy who got married a couple years ago in Australia. And so every time this guy does something in his life, I wind up going halfway across the world. How do you get sucked into it?

I don't get it. That's another story. And it's long and it's unpleasant. But speaking of long and unpleasant. No, Italy was good. We were down in the southern part down by the heel in the boot. Areas called Poolia. Pulia.

Yeah. And it's very, very country. There was a castle in the countryside that my friend rented, and like maybe 20 or 30 people were there. And it was great. There's a nearby town called Leche. Okay. You got to back up because he rented a castle?

Well, yeah. Like, how big is a castle? As you do. It was good size. It was kind of, I think it was probably condemned 20 years ago, but some Brit bought and decided, this would be a fantastic hotel. People should come here. People will come from the world over.

Pay me money to sit here and gaze off the ramparts. Well, there are ramparts, and they're castled walls, and there's a bar up on the roof, and the sun goes down at night, and it's all very pretty. But during the day, I got to be, there's really not a great deal to do, except, you know, hop on a bus or get some transport and go to some truly ancient town, one of which is lechion. which I recommend.

Super old. I mean, like, they found a coliseum in the town. They were in excavation. And I'm like, oh, my God, that's where they did the plays. And then this is where they fought the animals, like gladiator stuff, full on. Really? Yeah, it's great. And then there's another town not far from there, maybe 45 minutes, called Estoni.

And you've seen pictures of this one. It's like the white city. And it's built onto a cliff. everything. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Everything's white, yes, yes. Yes, and they did it during the plague, for some reason. I don't know why they thought it would be a good idea to paint everything white or something to do with warding off the plague, which of course was not really rooted in science. It was called the black plague, so maybe that was why they went white. Maybe at that point, you know, but whatever, you know, it's an interesting town. And, dude, the streets are like alleys and all the cars. are these tiny, about the size of smart cars, but they all have different names, right? And people drive. What do you mean they all have different names?

Well, they're names you don't associate with cars over in this country. Like what? Oh, like the Magoo and the Flagonzo. Come on. And the Esterante and the Elipiento. These are brand names or model? You just made the whole thing up.

I just made all of that up. But it's like a Yugo, only not that. But short, snappy little names. little tiny names, little tiny cars, with little tiny people driving. 32 Italians come out. And they're all wearing these cooling suits and stadium pals. It's the most extraordinary thing.

It's an ancient city. They're all dressed as dogs driving tiny little cars to speed of sound. Viva Italia. It was only five days. But combined with the four days I spent in Baltimore prior to that, getting reacquainted with my dad's side of the family. Can I just say this brings us to our first question? Hit me. Because it is about that very thing from Lisa Ballantyne.

Love to hear more about the dynamics of your family reunion. And yes, your mom is a rock star. Oh, Lisa, that's very kind. I mean, you need to mind your own business to a certain degree regarding dynamics. It's awfully personal. I do think my mom is a rock star. And Valentine is a terrific last name. Yeah, you know, my family is complicated.

My mom's side is really very simple. She had a dad called Carl Noble, whose whiskey we're drinking now. He was married to a woman named Thelma, and I lived next to the two of them my entire life from zero up to about 28. And so I talk a lot about my grandparents because they had a huge impact. impact on my life. And my pop had two daughters, Janet and Peggy, and no sons. And the noble name really kind of died with him, as far as I can tell, which is why we have... Keep going. I'm still interested. Good. You're going to go touch knobs or something? Yeah. All right, good. While you do

that, I'm going to adjust this microphone, just a little bit here. There we go. That's a mother's side of my family. It's pretty simple, right? All of her brothers were fishermen. It all kind of lines up in tracks and they all lived more or less in the same place down on the Virginia part of the Chesapeake Bay. And, you know, I understood that as a kid growing up. Like, I could look at the family tree and understand everything that was going on on my mom's side. My dad's side? Yep.

The family tree is like a wall of ivy. Right? I mean, it just goes in every direction. You know, all at once, he had half brothers. He had one full brother and he had a few stepbrothers. They were all very different and they all lived all over the place. Like this family reunion I went to, I mean, we should have had name tags to my shame

because I haven't seen a lot of these second and third and fourth cousins half a dozen times removed in decades. And it's weird, dude, because they've seen me, right? It's like when you walk into a room where you don't know, anybody, but everybody knows you. That's not unusual in this business. Right. But it is weird with family.

Right. And it's super awkward. And I just found myself scrambling for like, oh, gosh, I think, is that Steve or Tommy? No, it's Bill. Oh, wow. And there was a wall filled with pictures that my uncle Dave put together. It was just amazing, man. It was just the pictures of that side of the family, hundreds of them.

And, I mean, no one really cares. But at a glance, when you. You see a rocket scientist and a truck driver side by side with a decorated Marine veteran next to, oh, people in my family have just been to the ends of every extreme, right? I mean, good guys and bad guys and heroes and villains, and it's just rich. And did they all show up for this? A lot of them showed up. How many? 50.

50's a lot. Yeah. 50's a lot. A lot, yeah. And, you know, a lot are gone, but they breed, man. Yeah, they do. They breed like rabbits, these people. And it was great. I mean, I caught up with all of them. You know, reunions are tricky. It's like high school reunions are fascinating. All reunions are interesting, but family reunions are just. Yeah. I mean, it's why David Sedaris is David Sedaris. He has such a crazy family tree. And it's why I think John Irving is able to write somebody great novels. And if I ever really sit down and try and write, God knows, there's no shortage

of material, as my mother will tell you, and has on constant occasions. Thank you, Lisa. I hope that answered at least part of your... I believe it did. Mike, while we all know how busy you are, would you ever think of doing a road tour where you just talk to people in an auditorium or other setting? People could then ask you questions in person, and you could obviously choose to ignore them at will, but with more humor. Either way, can't wait for this new version. I'm sure it will be stellar.

Blah, blah, blah, blah. Oh, what else does she say? And I've also wondered if you're going to do any more six degrees history episodes. I love that show. History is one of my favorite subjects. That's Mary Baker-Meyer.

Oh, I prefer it if you lead with the name in the future. So I like to visualize the name and then see the person in my mind's eye and imagine them asking them. Okay, so I have a question from Mary Baker-Meyer.

Okay. Mike. I got it. I got it. You got it? I got it. I got it. I got it.

I got it. Actually, no, I don't. What was the question? Well, would you ever consider doing a road tour where you just talk to people in an auditorium? No.

Great? Yes. Well, I mean, in a way, this is kind of that. I would love for this podcast to take on an even more of a mobile quality. Yeah. And the truth is, that was my hope.

You know, a couple of years ago when Dirty Jobs went back in a production, you and I talked about, wouldn't it be great if while I'm in crazy, of course, filming an episode or down in the Everglades, just to find somebody interesting, locally, local color. Yeah.

And then, you know, find like a watering hole somewhere and sit down and have a conversation. That's why we wanted to do it. But, of course, everything kind of went crazy with the lockdowns, and I don't know if we're going to do more dirty jobs, and we're trying to figure out right now what the next show is. But the reason I like Mary's question is that the thing I'm gravitating toward right now, and we just locked up the trademark, I'm happy to say. It's called Road Trip, R-O-W-E-D. Because it's terribly clever,

and it's what we did when we did those look-back episodes of Dirty Jobs right after the lockdowns. But I love the idea of basically just going on the road and finding people I think you should know. And just a combination of all the shows you've seen me do, Dirty Jobs, something's got to do it, returning the favor. So it's bloody do-gooters and entrepreneurs and people you should know.

and mad scientists and inventors with a little bit of immersion in it. So it's more of a show than a podcast. I don't really know, Mary. I mean, I get it. People do it. They travel around. They sit in auditoriums and people come

and they ask questions. I mean, look, honestly, I would love to do that. Who am I kidding? I think that would be a lot of fun. It just seems too easy. It feels like I'm cheating a little bit. But there's a lot involved in that. I mean, I know you would just show up, but...

Yeah, I would just show up. I'm not going to... I can't be bothered. Things have to be. We have to put up lights and the microphones. Like this. See, what you have to understand, Mary, is that I was both punished and spoiled in equal parts by the success of dirty jobs. Because even though it really hurt to do it and even though there was really a lot of physical pain and not a lot of sleep and even some emotional trauma, it was the only show I've ever worked on or had a,

worked on up to that point that didn't require anything from me in advance, like nothing. And this is unheard of in the world of hosting. I've done game shows, and you need to prep for those, and I've done all kinds of other things for other networks that, you know, require you to at least do some studying, some level of prep. Dirty Jobs didn't demand that of me. In fact, when I tried to do it early on, because I'm... I thought it would help me.

It only hurt. Then you're like, hey, wait a minute. No, I read this. You're telling, right. That's right. Or in my... Suddenly you're correcting them. That's right.

Or in my mind, it was like, no, I thought what I do is put my left arm into the rectum of the cow while collecting from the bull with my right at the same time. But of course, that's not going to work for a whole lot of reasons. And now all of a sudden, you know, I'm doing something that doesn't comport with my plan. And then that feels weird and that feels wrong. And so it was really a humbling process to realize that the secret sauce in that show was my own discovery of what was going to happen next. Like the things I wasn't allowed to know or really shouldn't know were as important. In other words, people needed to see me learning on the show. And so what Mary's suggesting sounds interesting as long as I don't have to do a whole bunch of prep.

And I swear to God, I'm not saying that because I'm lazy. I'm not lazy. We offer work ethic scholarships here at MicroWorks. I just so much prefer to whether we're filming a show or having a conversation, whatever it is. And I think it's more interesting to listen to as well when people are figuring it out as they go. Excellent. Don Nickens. What do you mean excellent? Excellent. You're glad I'm done, or you really enjoyed what I said?

You know what? I mean, I really enjoyed it a lot. I enjoyed what you said. I felt like I hung on to every word and then saw a place when you looked like you were finished and decided to jump right in there. Well, people are still raving, raving, I tell you, about my mother's performance in the late. pure talk commercial and if you haven't seen it I encourage you to give it a look on my Facebook page and read the comments they're hysterical in this commercial you'll not only see Peggy Rowe gently criticizing her oldest son for his longstanding and well-established commitment issues you'll learn about the latest offer from Pure Talk which includes unlimited talk text and data for just 3499 a month with no contracts and no

commitments of any kind you can see why I love these guys If, on the other hand, you have better things to do with your time, then watch my mom and me be impossibly charming together, then allow me to remind you, here, without all the cleverness and charm, that unlimited talk, text, and data on a blazing fast network for just $3499 a month really is an unmitigated bargain from an American wireless company that keeps all their customer service in this country, supports our veterans in a meaningful way,

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at puretalk.com slash row. See, the other thing about dirty jobs is, even though you don't know what you're doing prior, you constantly know how you're doing when you're doing it, and seconds after you've done it, the feedback is both immediate and occasionally brutal, but always, always reliable. You know, it's always there. You always know how you were doing on that show.

This podcast thing, I don't really know. I mean, I think we're having a good time now, and obviously dozens of people are hanging on to our every word, but, you know, it's not until you find some, you know, wherever you go as a producer, you know, how many people are listening and are the advertisers happy and all of these other things we don't. It's just funny the way you look around to figure out whether or not you're doing it right and waiting for somebody to give you a sign. Mary's right.

If you're in an auditorium full of a bunch of people, you'll probably know. You'll know immediately. That's why it seems really cool. And the cool thing is we can have this whole setup right there in front of a live audience, do this live. How much more fun would that be? To sit there with our stadium pals and our cooling suits both fully. engaged watching our audience walk out in the middle of a sentence like this one. I'm going to demand

air conditioning in the venue that we appear in. Okay. All right. Well, fine. You know, I'll get my green M&Ms and you'll get your air conditioner. Right. Perfect. Now, which brings me back to Don Nickens. Okay. Don Nickens says, hi, Mike Roe and Chuck. Simple question. What is the coolest thing you, together or separately, have seen? Good Lord. The coolest thing you have seen. I individually or that we saw together. I can think of one thing that we saw together. Go ahead, because my minds, I'm racking my brain now. Sure.

So we performed in our barbershop quartet, semi-formal, at the lyric opera house, which later you would go on to work in the opera at. But when you were, what, 18, I was 17. In the opera at? House. Didn't I say house? No. In the opera at?

Which later you would go on to perform in the opera at. Yes. Okay. At which you would later perform with the opera. That you would perform in this venue. Yes. At this venue. Yes. In the opera later on. But this time, we were maybe still in high school. We were boys. We were 17. 15 years old. And we got a spot. We got to sing two songs at the Lyric Opera House, which was crazy. And I told one very inappropriate joke. Horrible joke. Which I got crucified with Fred King just about beat me after.

words. But that's not the thing that I remember the most. There was a quartet that we loved called B&O Connection. Yep. Bob Disney was the lead and he... He's still around, man. I just saw a picture of him the other day. He's great. And by the way, the B&O Connection is a reference to the Baltimore and Ohio Railroad, not the way they smelled. Yes. But you remember when they did their set, you and I went up into the rafters. Yep. and stood right above them, I don't know, maybe 50 feet above them, however high that is. Easy, 50, 60 feet. And we're looking down on this quartet.

We have their albums. We know all their songs. And it was so cool. Like, I've never been in a situation and seen a performance from that angle since or before. All right. Well, let me put just a little twist on that. Okay. Because I know I'm sure some of the dozens of people who are listening right now are saying,

wait a second. The question was something cool, and you use words like barbershop and opera in the same sense. Right. So, okay. I mean, I guess that's the fun of the question, right? We get to define the terms as we want. I don't know how cool barbershop is for most people, but I'll tell you this. I'll tell you what was cool. Five years after that, I was in the opera, and I had crashed my way through an audition, and we've told that story and how I wound up back on that stage. dressed as a Viking or occasionally a pirate. Why not? Holding a spear or sometimes a scimitar. Sure.

Making loud noises as low as I could, right? That's why they paid me. That's what you do. Well, I'll tell you, man, during the intermissions of those operas, you have a lot of time to kill. I remembered the time you and I went up there into the catwalks, into the rafters. And you have to imagine it, folks. It's an environment, unless you've been up into a... a place like this. The closest I can tell you of a thing that it reminded me of anyway was the rigging

on an old galleon. Right. Right. All the ropes. A ton of ropes and yeah. And they're coiled at your feet. Ooh, scary. And they're stretched up into the darkness. Yes. And the ropes, some are bundled together and some are separate and they're all attached to something really important. Screens and scrimms that are dropped at various times during the production. I mean, it's very, very involved, and it's not a place where you're supposed to go. In fact, the only way to get up there is to step over a couple of chains that say, don't come up here, you know, the signs that hang from them. Well, I'm not going to name names, but there was a lovely girl in the course, an alto, as I recall. Okay. And she and I had a thing, you know? A thing. Yeah, I'm dressed as a pirate,

and there she was, dressed up like a French whore or whatever. it was, you know, I mean, it was nothing but plunging necklines and ridiculous costumes, right? Anyhow, you know, we were looking for a quiet place and I thought, you know, during the intermission. During the intermission. But the intermission would go into the next act and by and large, the chorus is only needed on stage intermittently. So if you combine the length of an intermission with maybe the 20 or 30 minutes, you don't have to be on stage. Before your next cue. Exactly. Gotcha.

Well, then you've got maybe 45 minutes or an hour on your hands. And if you're dressed as a pirate and 24 years old and you have yourself a young lady who seems to be interested in you, you might ask directly if, in fact, the perception of interest was in fact real or something I've imagined. And once the young lady confirms that the interest is both real and reciprocated, well, then you look for a quiet place. And so... To meditate? Just to be together. And so anyhow, we wound up there in the catwalks pretty much right where you and I were, watching the B&O connection, you know, sing various songs in four-part harmony.

Yes. Except here, there's a full-on orchestra getting us into the third act. Yes. And an amazing love duet unfolding down there on the stage. And about 60 feet up, I don't want to overstate. it, old friend. But let's just say another amazing love duet was unfolding in the shadowy corners of a forbidden place high above the stage of the lyric. Not to put too fine a point on it, but let me just say that up there, something very cool did happen. You're saying it was cooler

than you and I watching the B&O connection. Is that what you're saying? Hard to believe I can trump those days where you and I were wearing tuxedos and tennis shoes. calling ourselves semi-formal, but I like to think I might have redeemed a part of myself and my soul on that particular day. Well, Dawn, I hope you're happy with that answer. What was their last name? Nickens. That's great.

Nickens. That's great. Not Dickens, but Nickens. That's it. It's a great name. You little Dickens. You little Nickens. Love it.

Thank you, Don. Charlotte Nelson, Mike slash Chuck. If a song played every time you walked into a room, what song is? would that be? I think you already intimated it 10 minutes ago. Which was? Yeah, yeah, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-ta-dha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Yackety-Sacks, the Benny Hill intro music. I mean, that's... Who were we talking to about that? The Benny Hill music. It was, was it Joey Jones. Yes, Joey Jones, yeah, whose pronouns are he and Hall. Yes. Yes. I love that.

You know, for me, it's always going to be a piece of music that can embody just the ridiculousness of the absurdity, the farcical elements of the life we have. Because I just think that that's kind of delightful. And, yeah, there's nothing more. There's no greater homage to farce. The Yakutti Sad or whatever. Yeah. Yeah, than the Benny Hill opening music. Yeah.

I think I would like to go with. Queens, don't stop me now. Just come right in. Don't stop me now. Really? Every time you enter a room. Don't stop me now. Gonna have a good time.

It's optimistic. It's a great tune. It's a great tune, yeah. But between that reference, the barbershop reference, and the stadium pal and the cooling suit, I don't know. Although, look, I mean, the reason Charlotte that your question is problematic is that like any other good thing taken beyond the scope of its rational employ becomes less good. And then you'll eventually grow to hate it.

So as much as you love that song right now. Yeah. If you really had to hear it every single time I walked in. You'd hate it. It probably wouldn't take long at all. That's the heck of it. You know, it's more like it's not up to me to pose the questions. But if there were like five songs and you could alternate it for different moods,

Like in a romantic mood, you know, a silly mood, a serious mood. Then you could really dive in. But Charlotte asked what she asked, and that's the answer she gets now. Yakety Saxon, don't stop me now. Hey, by the way, Charlotte, Google this. If you want great traveling music and a really, forever this thing made the rounds. It was a viral video of a cat playing the piano. Yes.

Have you seen it? I think it's called Keyboard Kitty. Yes. And it's absurd. It's just the cat. And somebody's manipulating its paws, actually. But he does like this Ray Charles look when his head goes back and he's so happy and his head shaking from side to side. And he's playing this ridiculous riff.

If we had internet and my stupid office here, I'd make you be a producer and Google it now. We do not. This place is like Hubble. And by the way, I think it's going okay. I mean, you were very down on this place. You're worried about the fact that. We're probably going to hear the elevator at some point. There's going to be elevator.

There's kids. I've already heard a helicopter. There's a lot going on. The fan is running. It's just, it's tragic. I can't. You're off mic. I don't know what to tell you.

Am I off mic? I don't know. Sounds all right. I think you could be more on Mike. Folks, if you're bothered by any of these things. Tell me. I want to know. And if you're not bothered, if you feel like it's good enough, then we need to know that too.

Because Chuck, I think you'd benefit by lowering your standards in some areas. and raising them in others? I didn't want to say it. No, you didn't have to. Your eyes said it. Ask me a question and drink your drink. Felisa. F-E-L-I-S-A.

That would be Felisa, right? Got to be. Felisa Talbot. This is for both Chuck and Mike. What is the most embarrassing moment you can recollect from your teen years? I like how it was for me first because she assumes that I have more embarrassing moments

is what I think. That's what I interpret. Oh, wow. All right. I mean, sure. There were so many. I remember being at a Christmas party. I was probably 19 or two.

No, I was older than that. I was probably 21 years old. And I had just gotten into the opera. So it might have been 22. Uh-huh. And this was downtown Baltimore. It was pretty fancy. Now everybody was dressed up and it was super festive.

I was just with people who were, I think, probably a bit beyond me, beyond my station, if you will. I felt like a bit, you know how you feel when you're like, no, I'm not, I don't know, I'm sure I fit in here. Hmm. Well, somebody there had heard that I had been in the opera. And as you know, I mean, I'm a total hack at this. I faked my way into it. I'm not really an opera singer. Right.

But they told the host, and the host stood up. and started with the, you know, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, we have a special treat this evening. We have one of our guests, a trained opera singer, and I wonder if we could ask you to treat us to a holiday tune. And I was like, are you, this is so awful. Were you in your cups at all at this moment?

No, not bad. I'd had one or two, but not enough to feel comfortable with this horrible situation. Yeah. I mean, I was really embarrassed. And I just didn't want to do anything. And my mind was racing and like everybody turned to look at me. What are you doing? I'm fixing this.

Oh, yeah. The mic keeps dropping. Yeah. And I hope to God people are watching this. I'll edit this out. All right. No, you want. You'll edit it into the open.

That's good. So there's a piano player there and there's this grand piano. And the guy behind the piano looks at me and says, can I be of assistance? And I'm like, Figaro, please. Well, I mean, what am I? I'm not, what am I going to, I'm going to sing,

deck the halls or jingle bells. It was just all wrong. So I just thought, you know, the only like holiday tune I could think of that was kind of classical, but at least I knew the melody, was, I wonder as I wander. Do you know that song?

What? I wonder as I wander out under the sky. How Jesus, Savior did come for to die. No, I don't know that one. It's a beautiful old English melody. Okay. And so I say to the guy, I wonder as I wander, and he says, sure.

And he starts playing it in a key that's no bueno. Too high, too low. Take a guess. Too high. Yeah. It was all too high, you know. So I start, I wonder as I wander out under the sky. how Jesus. And then it gets to a part.

For poor lonely creatures like you and like I, I wonder as I wonder. Except it's even higher than that. It's right. I wonder as I wonder. I'm like killing it. And in the back of the room, okay, is a girl about my age. Pretty girl. Yeah.

And as I start singing this song, Right? She starts laughing. Okay? Not like that, but like, huh. And she's turning red and she's trying not to laugh because she's just never in her life seen some dude, like her contemporary, just stand up and start singing.

She's somebody's daughter who's there. Probably didn't want to be there. And then she's looking at me and just going, this is jacked up. This is terrible. So as I'm singing, 20 feet away from me. Try not to laugh.

And I'm so like, oh, God, this is, I'm not doing a very good job with this song. It's very high. And I could just, like, feel the blood rushing to my face. And when I get to the part that goes, I wonder as I wonder, she goes, she goes, runs out of the room. It's the funniest thing she's ever seen. She can't stand it anymore. She just, like, throws her hands down and runs out of the room.

Oh, God. awesome. And I was just like, oh, damn it. You know what that reminds me of? One voice. Oh, geez. So there's this guy, Mike Price. God, I hope Mike's listening. We sang with Mike. Beautiful voice. He was one of the guys in our quartet. He sang tenor, but his real voices, I mean, he's a lead. He's a good lead. Yeah. Amazing. Fred King was directing this. No, Fred wasn't there. It was the madrigals. We went on tour. We went to like Pennsylvania by ourselves. Fred couldn't be there. It was Cindy Schultz. Cindy Schultz was directing, yes. Right. And so say the, say the tune starts in G. What you do is you go over and you hit a G. Hit a G. Right. Right. But Cindy hit a B

because she was really. I think you have it the opposite. It's the opposite. It's in B. The first, it started Acapella with Mike Price singing and the first interval was one voice. Right. So she hit the voice because that's the key it's in. And Mike took that as this starting note rather than the key. So he goes, one voice. Yes. So the magical group, you know, we got to come in at some point.

He sings his thing and then we come in and oh my God, it was literally 30 people screaming at the top of their lungs for about three and a half minutes. Were we like in an old folks home? No, I don't think it. I think it was like a corporate gig where it was bankers or something like that. But they were nonplussed by it. But what was so funny is that you and I and Jeff Wilson, like we knew what was coming. It was like I kind of went, I think he started in the wrong key there, you know.

This is not going to end well. This is not good. Okay, what are we going to do? What are we going to do? Well, we'll just have to sing it. Okay. So, you know, in like the Sopranos, their parts were really high anyway. They were opening their mouths and nothing was coming out because they couldn't see.

It was insane. But Mike Price, God bless him, man. That guy had range. He sang the shite out of it. He sang it all the way through. And I had sort of a profile view of him as he was singing. And I thought, I've never noticed the veins in his forehead like that before. Or his neck.

But they were bulging out. It looked like his face was going to slide off his head. But he sang it beautifully. got to give him credit. There's a heck of a thing. Amazing. Anyway, there you go. Felisa.

Shaline Stevenson. Chuck, have you considered quitting before Mike can fire you? No. No, I've never considered that. No, I always think that the day when Mike actually fires me, I'm just going to weep with joy and give him a hug. No hard feelings. Thank you.

No, it's all good, buddy. It's all good. Sorry, it lasted so long. I'm moving on. Amanda Soplesi. Soplizio. Soplizio. How do you balance family life with older parents and your career, Michael Rowe?

Oh, I mean, really, it's not hard when you think about it. I mean, my existence is pretty simple. Business-wise, is complicated. There are a lot of plates, and they're always spinning, and you've had a front row seat to that. But my personal life, you know, I keep on the down low for the most part. It's not like I have kids. It's not like they're dealing with, you know, all that drama. It's not like that family reunion I described as a daily part of my life.

It's a, you know, it was so unusual because it doesn't happen all the time. My mom and dad are a big part of it and my brothers and I, obviously, but I guess it's a weird sort of balance because, I mean, for me, and we haven't talked about this a bunch, and I don't even know if she's asking this, but my work life balance before dirty jobs was amazing. It was the Travis McGee model. I took my retirement came. in early installments. I worked when I wanted. I freelanced. Nobody knew who I was. And then that was fine. And I had enough money to be comfortable with. I just had it figured out. I mean, I felt like I had it. Right. Right. And then, you know, all of a sudden, one day it was like, it all worked because I didn't care about what I was doing for money. Right. I really didn't care. I mean, after three years

on QVC and hundreds of commercials and hundreds of hosting gigs, I didn't care. I had a good time doing all of it and I always tried to do my best work, but I just fundamentally didn't care about anything professionally. And then dirty jobs happened, which was very personal, personal to my mom and personal to my pop. Sure. And for that thing to have turned into a hit, I mean, it came with just a weird level of responsibility, I guess.

I wanted to do a good job, not because I'm not because I'm just. I wanted to make a bunch of money, although I thought that would be pretty great. I wanted to do a good job because I was doing a show to honor my family. So that threw things really, really out of whack, like 250 days a year on the road. Yeah. And that happened later in life. I was 42 when I started shooting that show. And so, to be honest, there hasn't been any real balance since.

But there was so much balance before that. And I'm not complaining at all. I love the business that I have, and I love the busyness of it. But it's not in balance, and I don't even really try to balance it anymore, honestly. That was a very good answer, Mike. Oh, you seem positively nonplussed, as the French would say. Would they say it that way? Yeah, they would.

I said nonplussed once. Someone corrected you? My date corrected me. How'd that work out? Over. Never even made it to. One and done. To dessert.

Barely got through the amuse, Bouch, is the French would say. You pulled the old, what is that from, the Pope of Greenwich Village. You get your coat and you don't say goodnight to nobody. Was that Eric, Julia Roberts, Eric Roberts. Eric Roberts. And Mickey Roark.

I saw that movie five times in New York City. I saw it once with you. Did you? Me, you, and Liz Boyer went and saw the Pope of Greenwich Village and you were so annoying because you were literally saying the lot. They took my son, Paulie. I was that guy. You were that guy.

Really? You were like, oh, this is so good. And you both were awful. You were just like gushing over the performance. And I'm sitting there next to you. I felt like, God knows how many people who sat next to my grandmother in the opera as she's singing along with the artists, you know, it's like, oh, don't do that, Nana. Don't do that.

But yeah, that was a great movie. I love that movie. Yeah. He's eating a big hoagie. He said, you should get a permit. Yeah, why's that? To shit in a street because you eat like a horse. Oh, that's funny.

I love that one. Okay, here's another question from Charlotte Nelson. Oh, my God. Charlotte, what are you doing with your life, huh? Mike, you say that you run into a lot of people that ask you about Chuck. I would like to know, what do people ask you about Chuck? I'm curious to the answer of this question. That's funny how you put it in.

That's really funny. I started getting questions about you. Well, I mean, people have been asking me about you for as long as I've known you, just because they know us. But like professionally as a result of all this stuff. Right. I wrote something about you. Right.

The freelancer thing. That's right. It was about being a freelancer. Yes. Yep. Which is so ironic because, I mean. Because I'm anything but right now. Because now you're really, really sucking on the teat.

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If you could eat a steer, if you could eat a cow, don't take a chance on a foreign ranch. Get good ranchers now. So the pro act, yes, right, is this really bad piece of legislation that is going to dramatically impact guys like you, at least former guys like you that used to freelance. all of the time. Right. So we were sitting here making this video about this guy, Akash Chugli, who works for Americans for Prosperity, who is going to try and get this thing overturned. I was just thinking about that question. You were, to me, 10, 11 years ago, like the ultimate freelancer.

Right. And I wrote this story about all the different gigs you had had. Right. And it went crazy on Facebook. And that's when people started asking these questions about you. because in those days you were still, you were like the elf in that Ford commercial. Right. There was no Vardis and Kimberly Clark, right.

Kimberly Clark. Right. So yeah, man, you just sort of Forrest Gumped your way into the business and people were curious about you. And then you kept saying, I thought you were joking for the longest time, but you're like, oh, I might like to get in the micro business. I didn't say it like that. You did. I didn't say it like that.

I did not want you. You used a stupid voice because you didn't want me to take... I kind of would like to be in the microbe. Mike, I wouldn't be in the micro business. Was it like that? Sort of like that. It was like a cartoon baby voice, you know. It's just...

It's what people do when they, you know, they mean it, but in case they get shot down, right? Oh, you're not painting this in a good light for me at all. Well, I'm just telling the truth. I'm just telling the truth. I'm just moving. I don't see it. I just see it.

Playing the cards again. But anyway, yeah, man. The way people work changes and evolves so much nowadays, especially. You know, and, you know, I think you're a great example of that. And although nobody has asked me to really weigh in on the continuing evolution of the Chuck Klausmeyer business model, I'm looking forward to many such queries because I think it's a lot. ultimately going to happen. Mostly people want to know. And look, this is not going to go well for you either. Oh, come on. Really? They want to know? I posted a picture of you when you did that movie,

the unnameable. Oh, yeah. They want to know how I got so fat. Yeah. Well, they don't ask like that, but they're like, tell us stories of skinny chuck. What happened to him? Because he was so skinny. Like there's a picture of us in the old quartet. And it's like, from the side. And there's an Adam's apple with a dude attached to it. Yeah. And that dude is me. Right? You were nothing but elbows and Adams apple. I couldn't find it with like a surgeon's knife now. Hey, and Charlotte Nelson, this is something you're going to want to know. If you ever meet Chuck in person, you know what he loves? He loves to be lightly touched on his larynx. What kind of BS is that? He loves it. He just loves it. He'll just roll over like a kitty cat and his feet go up. in the air, you just can't get enough of it.

No, Charlotte, this is not true. No one may touch my larynx. It's a bit of a problem. Weirdo. All right, listen, there's a couple of comments that I think are fun, and I just want to, you know, shout out to people who listen. Thank you for listening on Instagram. Robin Hoffmeyer said, Mike and Chuck turn into 12-year-olds when Mike's mom is on and it kills me every time. Which is so true, I think.

We do giggle a lot with your mom. mom. She's the best. Well, you know, she has a way. I mean, we're both, I think, predisposed to channel something childish. It's because we've known each other since we were children. And then me being a child of my mother and she having many stories about you as well. Yeah, there's a certain regression. And I'm delighted that anybody finds it charming. Oh, yeah. People love your mom. D. Fallon, 59, says, your mom is the best. I wish I had a mom like her. Big WPG said, can she be Canada's grandmother too, pretty please. Not just America's grandmother, but Canada's. I thought that was cute. That's nice. And then somebody said, please don't allow Chuck to teach Peggy how to play strip poker.

Roe family admirer. Yeah, okay. That's fair. That's good, solid advice. Yep. Now, here's another interesting thing, you know, and I would like people to keep telling us about this, is that we sing. We bring back the old barbers shop stuff, which is really, really fun for us to do, for the commercials and the music stingers and stuff like that. And people either love it or they It's my husband and I number two Bilbul besties

fan, C, J.R, whatever I don't understand what that means my husband and I listen to this podcast when doing road trips but can we quit

singing the advertisements please all caps you know and then someone named the berate says the addition of original Acapella Barbershop

Ad Stingers is fantastic and keeps me from hitting fast forward on the ads like I do with every other podcast. So what do you do as a producer? As a guy who's desperate for feedback, deeply insecure, fundamentally

uncertain about his future, when you look at feedback like that, that's so disparate, do they cancel each other out, or do you glom onto the one that most agrees with your own take at any given point? No, I take them both seriously. I mean, I've told you this before. If somebody takes the time to write something, to say something, whether it's a criticism or a comment, compliment. I use the tenfold rule that there are probably nine other people who thought the same thing, but didn't take the time to actually write it. So I believe there are nine other people who think we better stop doing these damn singing. And there are nine other people who say, yes, keep them there because I love it. But that would be a wash if you look at the totality of the

feedback. And you tell me because you're more desperate for daily affirmations and constant. Again, it's just the way you frame my situation, I find disheartening to a degree. Well, you know what? I wonder if you have to do that. No, I don't. And I apologize. It's just that when you were skinny, this kind of thing didn't bother you. That was well played.

I must admit. You tell me, by and large, do people like it or do they hate it? Why is it got to be large? But give me the skinny on the buy and large. I would say that it is more people like it than not. Demonstribly more? Significantly more? No, no, not demonstrably. But I would say, you know, like it's probably 65-35.

Then why are we doing it, man? Why are we affirmatively annoying 35% of the audience? Just because 65 are delighted. Because it's really fun, right? It's so much fun to do. See, now you get in the baby voice because you're afraid somebody's going to say. But you suck, so don't do that.

You know what? I don't think anybody said, God, you know, I don't think nobody started laughing and ran out of the room like that woman in the back when you sang the opera in the wrong key. I wonder as I want to work. Yeah, now that's true. But look, I mean, this is why, and you and I have argued about this constantly, you know I love viewer and listener feedback. Yes. You know that Dirty Jobs and every other show. programmed it.

Yeah. Programmed by the listener and the viewer. It really, really matters. But at some point, you'll go out of your mind trying to read the tea leaves and like really trying to discern. That's why one of the themes that I always come back to is, look, you take it all into account. You have to listen to the advertisers.

You have to listen to our friends at Audio Boom. You know, I got to listen to my partner, Mary, who's sitting over there right now pretending not to listen, but taking notes. There'll be a critique later for sure. I'm going to get a strongly worded email. Dude, you're going to get, I mean, I saw it earlier. There's a page. She's already written it?

There's a page called Chuck Problems and the page called Mike Problems. Your page, front and back filled. And your page only has one thing on it, and that's Chuck. Fire Chuck. Right. Now, what was I saying? Surely we must be out of time. We're nearly out of whiskey.

I think we are, yes. No, what are we talking about? I'm going to land the plane. Come on, the last question. Who was it? Oh, it wasn't a question. We were talking about what criticism you listened to. There's some, you know, you take it all in, but you don't change unless it's overwhelmingly. Unless it's really, really overwhelming. But in the end, the thing you have to do is to amuse yourself.

Yes. You have to. Because if you're not doing that, then you're not in on the joke. And if you're not in on the joke, then you're either, well, then what are you doing? You're trying to please people whose name. you can't even pronounce here. Or advertisers, who might come, they might go. You know, we don't know. We don't know. In the end, man, I think it's outrageous and funny.

And whatever else it is, I've listened to a bunch of podcasts, and you have to. And I haven't found anybody who's writing unsolicited jingles and recording them in their spare time. No, no, nobody's doing that. I'm not saying it's good. I'm not saying it's bad. I'm just saying we're them. We're the guys doing that. I just want to end on this, if I might.

This is from Liz 2222. Keep singing, but quit threatening to fire Chuck. He is a delight. In fact, I'd love to hear more from him. This is quite literally the only podcast I listen to in lightning conversations on worthwhile subjects with a perfectly curated guest book. If I could give it six stars, I would.

Thank you, Liz. With the possible exception of this episode. Well, once I lose a little weight, we can do it again. So then to review, we're here in my office. I don't know how often I'm going to be able to come back here and enjoy three cameras all pointed at us and we'll put it up on the YouTube's. And honestly, in spite of what I just said, I really do want to get your feedback on all of this. I'd like to do more of it.

I can imagine real actual guests sitting where you're sitting. Right. You further down on the couch operating. Face in the other way. Got it. Doing all the things. Sure. But, you know, baby steps, right?

There's no playbook for any of this. No. You know, between the air conditioner and the lights and all the other stuff, I guess we'll just have to wait and see. Sounds good to me. Anything else? Normally we thank people at the end of this and tell people where to go to learn more, but there's nothing really to learn. And there's nobody to thank but the people, the dozen or so people who are still listening, so thanks. Yeah.

You know what people ask all the time is like we solicit five-star reviews and they don't know how to do it. I made a video that you were supposed to post. Remember that? Yeah, I never did. I didn't think it was very good. Yeah. I sensed that. It was okay.

I'm not seeing it on Facebook. Yeah. Well, tell, if somebody wanted to leave us a five-star review. Oh, it's too complicated. I couldn't describe it. Which makes the fact that those of you who have. Oh, we so appreciate it. So extraordinary.

I mean, honestly. Because you know what? It's funny. All right, this is how we land the plane. Okay. In the same way, we're not really sure all of the time, what to do with the feedback we get. Can you imagine advertising in this world?

I mean, if you're an advertiser and you want to reach people and you have a decent product or a service, you're just like licking your finger and sticking it up in the breeze to see which way it's blowing. You don't know. One of the things they really, really do is they look at those reviews. And if they're there and if they're decent, they give us a try. And if they give us a try, then we get to keep doing the show. So that's another way I think of what Mike is saying is figure out how to leave a five-star review on Apple. Figure it out.

Look, and write something. Let me say it like this. So if it's not too much to ask, set aside six, seven hours on the weekend. Take a deep dive in the Internet. There's a lot of fine print, and it's going to be a lot of trial and error. But when you have a moment, and by a moment, I mean a day. Yes, half a day, six hours, yeah. It would be great.

Seems fair. Or if that seems stupid, and you'd rather support the Microworks Foundation by drinking some of the amazing whiskey we've been enjoying, you can do that at noblespirates.com. Unbelievable, dude. Unbelievable how you slipped that in there. Anyway, I just want to say, it's great to see you in person and to do this in person.

It's great to have you back in the United States of America. Thank you. And yeah, here's to the next time. All right. Cheers. So then, my friend, as for the rest of you, we'll see you next week.

If you leave some stars, could you make it five? And before you go, could you please subscribe? If you leave some stars, could you make it five? And before you go, could you please subscribe? If you leave some stars, could you make it five?

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