The Way I Heard It with Mike Rowe - 412: Coffee with Mom—Pimping Out Your Brothers for Halloween with Peggy Rowe

Episode Date: October 31, 2024

Three-time NYT Bestselling author a.k.a. Mike's mom checks in to share tales from Rowe Halloween's gone by.

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I don't think you're ever too old to learn. But let's say you're late. Like I was late. I'm 15 minutes late for this today. And I'm learning that that's a, I think that's a character flaw. Nobody to blame but me. I overestimated my strength, and I underestimated the impact of 65 pounds walking around in high humidity. And you two have suffered the consequences. Thought you were going to say in high heels. Oh, my God. Now, that is something to worry about. I'm trying to develop my calf muscles. Yeah, right. Do you actually own high heels anymore?

I used to, but I don't now. No, my idea of a fancy shoe now is just a little black suede comfortable shoe. Sensible shoes. With like a heel, maybe three quarters of an inch or an inch. Do they even call that a heel, or is it like a wedge? Well, it's a heel like, it's not a soul, but it's the heel. It's the back part of your shoe. I just wonder, like, when does the heel begin and the soul start?

stop if it's just one continuous sloping thing, you know? The heel is the part beneath your heel, I would think. Yeah, but if it's attached to the soul, I just wonder if it's just, you know, an elevated soul as opposed to a standalone. I'm only interested in this because, you know, I travel a lot and Mary, my business partner is with me a lot. And we're the same age, really, and she wears these heels that I just, I just, don't see most women wearing.

They're very tall. They're like four inches. I know. I don't understand. They're real skinny. And her toes are out. I don't know how she does it. And she can walk for blocks.

Yeah. It's really amazing. I mean, I think she's just on her toes. I guess that's what women do. You just learn to do this thing. Some do anyway, but you never really seem to care too much about it. Well, because I married a man who was my exact height. And so I didn't want to be looking down on him.

Lorded over him. So we were the same height for many years, but I think he might be losing a little bit in height. You think he's shrinking? A little bit. So according to Chat GBT, GBT, the sole of your foot typically refers to the entire bottom part of your foot, especially the area that makes contact with the ground. It includes the arch and the ball of the foot. The heel of your foot on other hand, specifically refers to the back part of the foot where it connects to the ankle. Do you think that translates to shoes, though? The heel of a shoe would be the back of it? I don't know.

I just, because I see these shoes, women's shoes all of the time, and the soul immediately under the toe might be a quarter of an inch. But then the soul that continues under the heel might be two and a half inches. And I think they call those wedges. but I don't know. I don't think there's a part of your foot that's a wedge, but I do think there's a type of shoe that's a wedge, and I think it might be in reference to the shape of the soul

and the incorporation of the heel or the heel stack into the soul itself, if that makes sense. I hope we're recording, Chuck, because this is so interesting. Well, actually, yes, we are recording, and I believe that the wedge is called the wedge, because it has the shape of a wedge. It's not necessarily where the heel is up and then the arch goes down and the toes are there,

but it's rather just an incline, like a little sliding board. I learned a new term, Mom. I know you're hanging on every word of this, but it's called a heel stack. And the heel stack is, I believe, a reference to the different types of layered material that can be incorporated into a heel.

Like on my Wolverine boots, for instance, there's a heel stack. And the bottom part of the heel stack is a kind of a like a vibrum soul that's designed to grip the ground. But then up from that is a chunk of wood. And then on the other side of that is something that I think is a bit more cushion. Now, interestingly, the chunk of wood was pulled from a cask that held a type of bourbon called Pappy Van Winkle, which they sell for $3,000. a bottle. So these Pappy Van Winkle guys partnered with the Wolverine guys, and we did this fundraiser for Microworks around a pair of boots that was differentiated by the fact that a little bit of wood

in the heel stack came from this very rare bourbon thereby now, allowing us to sell the boots for a lot of money. I think we raised $160,000, Chuck, on that one fundraiser, if I'm not mistaken. That was a good one. If you get in a pinch and you're really thirsty, you can always drink your heel. I was thinking you're walking through the woods and you're dehydrated, just take off your boot and lick your heel. And suck on the wooden part of the heel to get all those good electrolytes from the bourbon that might still be in there.

Yeah. Now, interestingly, this fundraiser happened on Halloween four years ago. See how I brought it back to the subject at hand? Oh. Nice segue, Mike. Thanks, Mom. And this podcast, if I understand correctly from Chuck, is dropping on All Saints Eve, or is it actually on Halloween?

Halloween. On Halloween, Thursday, October 31st. This is a lot. Happy Halloween, Mom. You know, since my children have grown, Halloween really doesn't have too much impact on my life. When I was teaching, of course, we observed Halloween. And when you children were at home, we celebrated Halloween.

But since then, until we moved into the home, and I'm telling you, these people really celebrate Halloween. Last week, there was a Halloween karaoke party and everybody dressed up. And oh, my golly, they were doing the Congo line all around the place. And just having the best time. What were they dressed as? Were they all in costume? Oh, yeah, they were in costume. And then on Friday evening, we have jukebox.

Friday nights sometimes and that's down in Erickson Hall a very large venue and I think hundreds of people come they were dressed up there was a contest and there was dancing and there was music and people just love it and to walk down the hall well pumpkins and spiders and witches and chocolate on people's shelves just everywhere yeah people here really no well I haven't met everybody here. No, people dressed up as much. Are you pronouncing that correctly? It's a very celebratory home, you know.

I mean, they celebrate every possible occasion. And Chuck, have you walked through O'Crest before? No, I have not. I mean, there are thousands, right? I mean, there are thousands of people live there and many hundreds, apartments, condos, whatever you call them. But outside of every one, is a kind of makeshift shrine.

Like there's a little bit of space in the common area that people decorate. They put family photos and they put carvings and little pieces of art. And it's actually, I get lost over there, partly because it's an intensely confusing place, but also because you just forget where you're going because you're constantly looking at how people have decorated their little slice of hallways. way. Don't they also put out, I think this came up in previous episodes where they'll put out things that they would like to give away or donate or, you know, effort, you know. They do. And

tragically, Mom, I think sometimes there's some confusion vis-a-vis that which is free, and that which people feel compelled to help themselves of. I know. People, if they had extra candy or extra tasty cakes or any treats. They'll just put them out on their shelves. But sometimes a friend might say oh well, Betty Jane

loves these Reese's peanut butter cups. I'm going to stick a few on her shelf so she can have them. Well, somebody walking down the hall might think that they are for anybody and take her Reese's. That was the single greatest score on Halloween

for me when I got the Reese's Peanut not buttercups. Oh, my goodness. That was my favorite thing. You know what? I think they are still my favorite candy. I love those. And Kit Katz.

And really anything with chocolate. Nuts. I don't remember getting a Kit Kat when I was a kid. Ries were around. I don't think Kit Katz were. And you said earlier that we, you said we celebrated a Halloween. I don't remember it as a celebration so much as a negotiation in your house. You know, it's funny.

When our children became of an age where they were interested in trick-or-treating, your father thought that was the worst. Oh, my goodness. That was the worst tradition. How dare we send our children out to beg for food at other people's doors? And he didn't. Did not want you to go. Well, you had a friend who lived in a neighborhood nearby.

I only had four houses in our neighborhood. They were all elderly. And the children would come back home with an apple, a pencil, an eraser. So I would put them in our car, our station wagon, and drive them up to Mike's friend John's house. And he and his mother and our children and I would go, we would follow them as they went trick-or-treating around the neighborhood because they live in a community of what are those houses? Townhouses. It was dense.

It was Ro-Homes. Yeah, two houses. Duplexes. Duplexes, yeah. So really, it was easy, you know, and they were close together. So you could fill a shopping bag at no time. And we did. Well, I lived in Holland Hills with my grandmother, you know, and those were all row homes together.

You could fill a pillowcase and just doing both. sides of one street. And I remember as a kid, I would wear a costume, just collect it full, and then I would go and change and put something else on and go back again for seconds and hit all the same places. Greedy little kid, you. That was me, yeah. I learned, but by the way, this is John Willard. We're talking about Chuck. I just mentioned it because you know him, and it's off Kenwood Avenue down there around Linwood. It was called Lenover. The neighborhood was called him over. Well, I remember with John trick-or-treating, I don't know how old, but I was probably too old

at this point. About 28, I guess I was. No, I was probably 13, you know, which is kind of getting on the cusp of it, I think. You know, it's like, you know, you know the score regarding Santa Claus. You know the score. I mean, this is for kids, and I just wanted the candy. Well, you had two little brothers and you pretended you were doing a charitable deed taking your brothers around. Right.

You were like pimping them on Halloween. Jeez. Pimping out my little brothers on Halloween for a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. Scott and Phil were with me. John was with me. This neighborhood was so busy, Chuck, that there was a sidewalk, obviously. And then there were these other. little sidewalks off the main sidewalk that led right to the steps and right up to people's homes.

And so there were so many kids out. There were lines queuing up. And so there was some kind of protocol that you have to wait on the sidewalk before you walk up the little driveway. And the poor people in the houses, they're just standing there at the door. Like you're not even ringing the door. You don't need to, right? Because they're there the whole time. Their doors open and they're just there with their, you know, and some people are really into it and really sweet, but one of my earliest memories is of a guy standing there with like a mixing bowl full of like little individually wrapped mini Snickers, I think. It was a pretty good score. And everybody knew he had them. And the people in front of us were like 16 and I know, 15 or 16 years

old and didn't appear to be, they made no effort. You know, there was no costume. And they were just like holding out the bag. And I remember clear as day. this guy standing there on Alberta Avenue in a wife beater, hadn't shaved in a couple of days. He's got this mixing bowl under one arm. He's just hairy like a monkey. And I just hear him saying, looking at these kids in front of me, going, ah, bullshit.

Bullshit. Nothing for you. It was like the soup Nazi. It was a different time. Well, at least you had your hand on your brother's shoulders. Like you were offering. I actually did. I was like, come on.

guys, it's going to be fine. You're dressed. Phil was dressed like a hobo. I don't know what Scott was dressed like. He was Dracula. Every year, he was Dracula. Had a high black hat and a black cape. And he slung it across the front of him.

But we got to this old hairy guy and the wife beat her. And he like looks and goes, yeah, okay, okay. He throws the candy in the bag, beat it next. That was great. Very transactional Halloween over there. Well, and Jackie and I would follow you all just to make sure you didn't come to any bad end. We tried to stay like a half a block away so nobody would know we were with you, the big guys. I don't remember anyone ever coming to our house for Halloween.

I'm sure they must have. No, we never did. Never, never had anybody. Well, Michael, we were at the end of Trump's Hill Road. and they had to go over a bridge, over a rushing Stemmers run stream, up a stone driveway with no streetlights. What kid in their right mind is going to come up there and trick or treat? It would have been great because we would have scared the bejesis out of them. We would have hidden the bushes out by the porch.

It would have been great. But yeah, you're right. We never had any trick-or-treaters. I never had to buy candy. On the other hand, people told me. people who lived in neighborhoods like Lenover and, oh, I have a friend now who lives up in love to northern Baltimore County. She said she spent $150 last year on Halloween candy. That's crazy. It's like a shakedown.

Yeah, that's going to get you like a bag and a half these days. Well, the funny thing is, when we came home with the loot, guess who was first in line for his share? John, the guy who thought, your dad who thought, that was a terrible thing to do. Oh, he was right there picking out his favorite. The favorites, of course, were the chocolate bars. The federal government is not going to close America's skills gap. They have an important role to play for sure,

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I'm talking skills, U.S. Skills, U.S. Skills, USA. It was one of the first arguments I remember winning with Dad. He said to me, he was, I just don't know how you can do it. You just go out there, you're not going to strangers door, and you literally beg them for food, you know. Like, don't you have any self, don't you have any pride? Don't you have any, have you no shame? I mean, he was really, like, my younger brothers didn't care, but I, like, I felt like he was coming at me.

And I remember saying, well, dad, technically, you know, we're not begging people. people for food. We're telling them, you will give us candy or we will vandalize your home. We are threatening them. That's what I said. It's like, this is a negotiation. It's not, oh, please give us food. I'm like, Dad, we're not desperate. This is real simple. You're going to give us some candy or we're going to damage your property, right? And so it's, it's just, it's really simple. And he, and he actually kind of wavered. He was like, ah, you know, you make a point. But still, I don't feel good about encouraging that either. I'm like, well, you know, whatever.

And by the way, pass that candy bar over here. Yeah, you're going to eat all that? Oh, dear. Chuck, did you have any hopes and dreams for this episode regarding Halloween? I know you said we were trying to hear some scary stories or something, but I don't know if we have any. I mean, you know, you invoke John Willard. I know there's a story that's very scary from Antietam. It wasn't scary.

It was weird. Have we talked about it before? On this? It's tough to say. We've done 400. You don't know this, Peggy? It might come back to me if I hear it. Was it a Boy Scout story?

Yes. We were there for the weekend. We were camping out. It was very cold. One evening, I guess it was a Saturday night. Big campfire. Everybody's around it. songs, telling stories.

Sorry, just to interrupt for a second, it's on the anniversary of the Battle of Antietam, which is notoriously one of the bloodiest battles of the Civil War. Truly the bloodiest day. And we had a park ranger there telling us the whole story of it. And there's tales of hauntings. You know, there's battlefields in general all seem to have these stories around them. But the stories around Antietam were pretty well known. Anyway, not much happened.

We all just kind of turned in and went to bed. And then a few hours later, John Willard was in my tent. And we both lay there. And John said, did you hear that? And I didn't know he was awake. I was. And I did hear it. It was like cannon fire and screaming.

And I was surprised to hear John say, did you hear that, mom? Because, you know, John's deaf in one ear. He doesn't hear much. And I was like, yeah, yeah, wow, I definitely hear that. And it went on for the longest time to the point where it sounded like somebody was playing the soundtrack of a battle in the distance. You could hear not quite distinct, but you could hear voices. You could hear screaming. You could hear what sounded like lots of people and cannon fire and what sounded like rifle fire and musket fire.

And it went on. And the next morning, everybody talked about it. Everybody heard it. And I don't know what to make of it, Chuck. And I don't know how far I leaned into it the first time I told you about it. John and I were sufficiently freaked out. We were quite sure that what we were hearing was real and not some kind of recording. But of course, it could have been, I suppose.

I mean, it was 19. When was that, mom? 77. I guess. Michael, what did your leaders say or the people, the hosts, who were the guides? Did you talk to them about it? No, they weren't there the next morning. They just came by to talk to us around the campfire the night before.

Scoutmaster heard it. Assistant Scoutmaster heard it. Most everybody who was there heard it. Some people were badly freaked out. I was intensely curious because I could absolutely hear it. But you could stand outside the tent and as far as you could see. It was just nothing, just rolling fog and hills and chilly out. But it was in the air.

It was both, it felt close and far away at the same time. Very strange. So I remember you telling me this story. And of course, I knew John Willard as well. So I went to John Willard and I said, you know, can you confirm this? And he was like, yeah. And he was a little freaked out by it. He didn't really want to talk about it.

But he said, yeah, yeah, that did happen. And I actually went back to that campsite, not with you, but with somebody else on the anniversary just to see if I could, if it would be replicated. And it was not. But it wasn't until years later that I was listening to, you know, talk radio. Somebody was talking. They had on a specialist in this field. And I just looked it up. And they call it battlefield phenomena or ghostly echoes. And you are not alone in hearing these things. things, that lots of people report this echoes of gunfire, spectral voices. Many claim to hear faint voices or cries that seem to belong to soldiers often described as calling for help or commands being shouted, creating an eerie atmosphere, historical reenactments. Some sounds may be amplified during reenactments, but they are reports of hearing them even in the absence of events. So it sounds like, you know, like an actual reenactment or an actual battle, but you're not alone. Yeah. I think the thing that my first thought was somebody somewhere is really, really having a go.

You know, they've got some like little tape recorder and they're holding up maybe a megaphone or something. And so they're just playing it in and out. You know, that's the most logical explanation. But it didn't feel like it. and it didn't sound like it in the moment. Mom, you have anything to add, sorry, I don't mean to Bogart, your whole guest appearance here with these stories.

Oh, yes, I am here. You are, all of my skepticism in virtually every area has been inherited from you. Yes, I'm sorry, but I am a little skeptical. I think somebody was playing the soundtrack. And you all had just probably heard stories that day from your guide about, you know, the horrible atrocities, the death. The terror of the battle.

Yeah, yeah. And I think maybe that was on your mind. You know, I mean, you were there for the experience, and this is part of the experience. And if they were fooling you with a recording, that's fine. But I don't think sounds from, you know, a couple hundred years ago are really coming back to haunt you at night. I'm sorry, but yeah.

Well, I mean, technically it only would have been about 110 years ago if it was 1970s. So just saying, closer than you think. Whatever. I mean, people tell me stories, you know, and you don't like to tell them that you believe that they believe it. You don't want to call them a liar because it's not that. We have a couple of relatives who were present for the death of the woman's mother. No, her sister. Okay. So a woman and her daughter were there at the bedside when her sister died, when the mother's sister died. And she said, Peggy, and she said her daughter's name, We'll call her Betty again.

Betty and I both saw Susan's soul rise up out of her body and just disappear up in the air. If it was just me, I'd have thought it was my imagination, but Betty saw it too. We both saw it. And it was like a physical thing. Her soul just moved up from her body. Well, when they told me, I said, really well okay I'm glad you were there to experience that or something like that but I think maybe they saw they thought they saw that but maybe they saw it I don't know I'm not

going to tell them they were they were lying of course I would have to see it myself I think in order to actually believe it well I like to think that along with your skepticism, I inherited, to a point anyway, your manners. And when somebody tells you a story that requires a suspension of disbelief or a measure of faith, then it's always interesting when skepticism and manners collide. And really, there's not much to do except nod and say, well, that's a great story. Or I'm glad, exactly as you've done. But the thing is, man, there is a huge hunger.

And I never appreciated how hungry people were for ghost stories. I know how much I like it. And I know growing up with my friends, we always shared them. And obviously, I'm aware that Halloween is a time when that happens. And yes, I'm aware that many scary movies have been made for as long as movies have been made. No, Sfaritoo. and some of the great works early on are rooted in the supernatural and stuff. Dracula, Frankenstein's, wonderful stories and such.

But it really wasn't until 20 years ago that we saw the paranormal craze explode on television. And that has been something to see. And that I've been involved in. I narrated ghost hunters for 15 years. I narrated Ghost Hunters International. I narrated something called Ghost Lab. And, you know, if you're somewhat skeptical now, I can tell you some stories that would make you utterly skeptical of everything

that goes bump in the night that you've ever thought you heard. And that's a relatively new thing for me. But, you know, times change. And so to ghost stories. You hear all kinds of stories. I heard a story here a man told me, and he's a really nice fellow. But he really believes that the moon, our moon, was put in place by aliens. And he said, it's the truth, and it's documented.

I sold on the History Channel. Gosh, maybe you were the narrator. I don't know. But, I mean, I couldn't help smiling a little bit. And he said, I know you probably don't believe it. But it's true. It's documented. And you know what?

They were the same aliens that visited the White House because he had read that too. And he believes it in his soul. And so I was not going to say, you know, sorry, but I don't believe it. I know some people who have been to the moon. Yeah, I have it on first-hand authority. It wasn't put there by aliens. It was actually a part of the earth. And, you know, it was hit many, many millions of years ago and spun off.

And anyway, there's a fair amount of science to suggest that your friend might be mistaken. But again, manners prohibit me from just piling on. Oh, sure. Plus he's, what is he, like 120? This man who told us, he's a little younger than I am, I believe. You know, I'll tell you the story that got me growing up, and it was really interesting the way it unfolded. I'm going to write about this one day, but it's the place that was on the cover of the Baltimore Sun magazine, where I lived for the early part of my life, as you'll recall. Gosh. Yeah. Yeah. I was, I should.

right about this, Lilburn, right? It's the house that dad and I moved into when we were married. We had the second floor. It was a big stone mansion built during the Civil War, and they were slave quarters in the back, and it had about six acres. Most of it was wooded. Big tower in the back. Castled walls.

With four stories and turrets at the top. It's on the, what do you call it, historic registry or something like that. Yeah, it's in the historical record. Yeah. Yeah. And so we lived there for three years. You were born there the following year after we moved in and spent the first two years of your life there. And after we left, the house was sold.

And they did a whole story about the fact that this place is haunted. and it was in the Baltimore Sun. It was an interesting story, but people had reasons to believe that the place was haunted. And I could poo-poo those reasons so the cows come home. Yeah, but boy, put yourself in my place. I find this, I think it was the Baltimore Sun magazine, the magazine that used to come in the newspaper. And Chuck, this house is on the cover of it.

It looks like a castle. And the caption is something like America's Most Haunted House, question mark, something like that. And inside is an account of the current residents who live there and then the people who live there before that. They're both interviewed. And they talk about all of these strange occurrences and noises and manifestations and on and on and on. And at one point, one of the people who live there said it seemed to originate from this top story over here in this area. So I'm reading this magazine, which I found in my mom's house. I take it over to my mom.

And she's like, oh, yeah, I held on to that. And I said, how come? And she said, because we used to live there. And that was your bedroom. That was the nursery. The room where you slept. And somebody many years ago apparently died in that room. And they think that his spirit is still there because their dog won't go into that room.

Our dog slept by your crib every night. I mean, unless spirits come and go. I mean, maybe they just came back. I don't know. I love stories like this. Seven years ago, a guy named Ben Still was a musician. He had zero interest in running a food company, but he was annoyed that so much imported meat was being deceptively marketed

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because they say that everything that's ever happened to you, even pre-birth, is in your brain. And what you're able to recall is in many cases a reflection of where you are in life right now. A shrink told me this once years ago, not that I was seeing him, but just socially we were talking about. You didn't pay for that information, did you? I didn't pay for it. But he did say that, like, if I ask you right, now what your earliest memory is, you can probably tell me. And I said, well, if I think about it, yeah. And I went on to describe a memory of, you remember the little grape barber we had in the

backyard between the pasture and the house for a while there? I remember one night, the sun had gone down and I was outside and I was kicking a ball, either a basketball or a soccer ball, just around that thing, just running and chasing this ball, running and kicking and chasing. And I remember the sun had gone down and I could smell dinner. You were cooking dinner and the kitchen window was open. And there was a warm light coming out of that kitchen window and you were calling me for dinner. And I was still running and kicking this ball. For some reason, I was determined to do this a fixed number of times.

And the shrink says, well, there you go. That's your earliest memory. Tell me about your life right now. And I went on to describe this constant search for the next job. You know, I was freelancing at the time and 30 blank squares every single month in this feeling that I just couldn't catch up. But this knowledge that, you know, I had a safety net. I had some money saved. So I felt pretty good about that.

And he's like, well, see, that's what I mean. Your mom and the open window, you know, that's your safety net. But you're still chasing. you're still chasing this thing, round and round and go. You're looking for work. You're chasing a thing and you're anxious because the sun has gone down and you think maybe you're running out of time and there's not a lot of certainty in your future. A bunch of shrink stuff, blah, blah, blah.

The reason I mention it is because I was probably six years old. Why don't I remember anything before I was six years old? That's crazy. I have no recollection of living in the Lillburn House on College Avenue. in Ellicott City. I couldn't, for the life of me, remember anything prior to that. Now, the shrink says, relax. Later in life, you'll have memories of all sorts of things.

And you'll ask yourself, gosh, am I making that up? Is that, am I imagining that? They said, probably not, because there are memories within your reach that are simply not at your disposal yet. But that'll change as you get older. What do you think about that? I do have a memory. of being in a crib.

I slept in a crib, and I know exactly where that crib was in our middle bedroom. And I had nightmares. And this one particular night, I could see a green, maybe a person, I don't know, a green being coming down toward my body from way up high. And I was, what, maybe a couple, maybe two, maybe less. and I screamed. And my mother ran in to me and tripped and fell down the steps and broke her toe, just her toe. Oh, geez. Wow.

Well, apparently I did this a lot, screamed at night and my mother always ran in and, you know, hugged me or whatever. But on this one particular night, she did that. And my aunt either was visiting us. at the time. There were always relatives in our house or came to visit afterwards and she said, you've got to stop that, waking up at night, screaming for your mother. Do you see what you did? Now your mother has a broken toe and she's, she can't run. And I remember, oh my God, the guilt. Maybe I was almost three in a crib too long, probably. But that's my earliest memory. I don't remember. But seeing that pale green thing come down toward me at night just made me scream.

I don't think it was Halloween. So if this shrink were here, he'd probably say, well, then, what's going on in your life right now that rhymes or somehow elevates feelings of fear and guilt? What you got going on? Well, there's this man, this man sleeping next to me who gets up like four and five times the night and goes to the bathroom. Oh, I feel sorry for him, but I'm not scared of him. Well, since it's Halloween, God, I hate to ask you to do this, but I need to understand what happened, because this is a scary story for real Chuck. This one is going to have you right on the edge of your seat.

Okay. What? I don't have any scary stories. Church a week or so ago. Oh. You didn't go. You stayed home and you zoomed. Do tell.

Our church offers a Zoom service on Sundays. And then that service is recorded and put on to the Facebook site. So your father had had a bad night. He had maybe three hours sleep. And I was determined to let him sleep in the morning and we just skipped church. and he did he slept for a couple of hours longer and so I put zoom on brought the laptop into the bedroom put it on the bed and just put zoom on but I disabled the camera so they couldn't see me in my nightgown smart it is a church after all yes well I can't say all this but I probably

shouldn't say all this. It's kind of personal. Well, anyway, Dad has been struggling with a certain medication. It's a thyroid medication because as you get older, your thyroid doesn't work as well as it once did, so you need a supplement. But that supplement can have side effects. And so let's just say that dad was way too regular every day several times. And, and, and so let's just say that dad was way too regular every day, several times. And so the doctor put him on metamusil. So getting used to this medication is a matter of balancing the metamusil and the medication. Well, we finally got it fixed. We thought, okay, so here's Zoom Church on the bed. Dad coming out of the bathroom. And he said, a stew again

and I'm afraid I said something very unlady like it was an expletive or an expletive it wasn't a nice word I said one syllable one syllable and began with and I said oh and dad said exactly a minute later my phone rang. And it was a friend from church who also had not gone to church because she had COVID.

She said, Peggy, you forgot to mute your computer. You your computer. Oh, my God, I thought it was going to have a heart at him. So I quick muted my computer. I didn't tell dad. I didn't want to upset him. You remembered the camera, but forgot the microphone. I remember the camera, but not the microphone.

And we had been talking, but I guess this friend decided, well, maybe they couldn't understand everything. It was just kind of a background noise. So they're in the middle of a sermon, a homily or whatever, and dad comes out and says, Stu again, and you say, oh, shit. And he says, exactly. Exactly. And then they take the offatory. And then ring a ling, ling, ling, ling, really ruined my day.

I'll have you know. So were you able to get it out before they posted it on Facebook? Oh, yeah. I called this friend back. And she called the church secretary and said, you have to kill that recording. of the service this Sunday. You've got to kill it right now. She killed it.

But I'm afraid some people might have been listening before it, you know. I was so embarrassed. And so we went back to church today. We've been once since then, but we went back today. And as I look around, I keep thinking, I wonder which of these people were at home on Zoom that day also. So. Stu again.

But if they were, they haven't told me. That was nice. That's a Halloween story. Oh, yeah. I'll never do that again. Never. More trick, less treat. Yeah.

Oh, my gosh. That was just awful. Hey, by the way, not to change the subject too abruptly, but I just went to your, I just went to the Amazon page. Do you know you have like literally nothing but five star reviews on all of your books? Like they're 4500 five star reviews. Yes. Yes. Oh, that's good.

Like nothing but five star reviews for your first one and your second one. Your third one has like four and a half stars because a couple of people just couldn't get their head around the idea of you vacuuming naked. They just, it just broke them. I don't even think they read the book. but they just didn't approve. Or they did read a book and they realized that it was not pornography. They were disappointed. They were disappointed.

Right, right. Too much vacuuming, not enough nakedness. They erased that last star. And your latest currently has 69 reviews. They're all five-star. Oh, that's nice to hear. It's getting some five-star reviews here at the home also. It's funny.

There are a lot of stories in the book. about people who live here at the home, our neighbors, other residents. Gosh, they had the best stories. I just couldn't not write them. Some are humorous. Some are not. But then there are a lot of vignettes throughout the book where I've changed the people's names. And people are coming up to me and saying, Peggy, am I on page 65 of your book?

Because I have to tell you, that sounds a lot like me. Oh, that's hysterical. How many pseudonyms did you use versus real people? You know what? My editor said that I should make a chart so that I know just who is who from the names I've changed. So I didn't make the chart. I don't have it with me. But, oh, my goodness, maybe eight.

But then maybe five stories, five chapters about real people. Yeah, I'll tell you. There are stories everywhere. I came across a woman the other day. And I noticed her because her name was Peggy. And there aren't that many Peggy's here. I think there might just be three of us. And I said, oh, look at this.

And I held up my lanyard. I said, my name is Peggy too. And she said, but my last name, did you see my last name is Lucky, L-U-C-Y. And I said, wow, that's quite a name. I said, well, tell me something. Do you feel like you were lucky growing up? You were a lucky person? Because Lucky was her maiden name.

Peggy Lucky. I won't tell you her last name now. She said, well, let me tell you this story. I did sit down and take notes. She was either eight or ten. She said, my family went to the carnival. Well, it was during the Depression, and we didn't have any money, and this was such a treat for us. We didn't have a car. We couldn't even afford a car.

Well, at this carnival, they were raffling off a car. And so her father had enough money to buy a raffle ticket. So it was time for the raffle, and the guy's up front holding this big bowl or basket or whatever, and he said, well, look, there's a little girl in the audience. Honey, would you like to come up here and pick the number? So Peggy said, well, I walked up on that stage, and I put my hand in. Guess whose number I picked? She said, I picked my father's number. People found out everybody booed.

She said, they booed us and booed. They thought it was fixed, but it wasn't fixed. Well, she said that they enjoyed that car. They took a vacation. They had never been on a vacation. They were poor. They took a trip up to Pennsylvania. Did you just laugh when you said they were poor?

That's so wrong. Oh, well, they were poor. That's better. Oh, better, much better. They were very poor. Well, she said it just changed our lives. And yes, I wasn't. lucky she said. I thought that was a good story. That's a great story. Do do do do do do do

dumb. Well, are you sick of it yet? Are you sick of AI hogging up all the headlines and sucking up all the bandwidth? You find yourself wishing we lived in a simpler time. Do you miss the rotary phone? Well, get over it. The genie is out of the bottle. The poop is out of the goose, I'm afraid. AI is here to stay in every business in the country is asking themselves the same question. How do we make it work for us? Well, the answer to that question varies, but you'll find it in a free guide that you can get right now at netsuite.com slash Mike. It's called demystifying AI. It's totally free. It's essential reading for anybody trying to make sense of a future that appears to have arrived yesterday. NetSuite, of course, is the number one AI enterprise resource planning software out there, trusted by over 43,000 businesses.

With NetSuite, you can use the AI of your choice, GROC or Claude or Chat, GPT, whatever else is out there to connect to your actual business data, all of it, and automate all of those tiresome, time-sucking, soul-deadening manual processes. This is AI built into the system. that's currently running your business. Learn more at netsuite.com slash mic. And while you're there, pick up their free business guy, demystifying AI. It's filled with super useful information.

And again, it's free at netsuite.com slash mike. That's netsuite.com. NetSweet. Did anyone at the home, was anyone upset with how they were portrayed in the book? If they were, they haven't told me. yet but Chuck you know me I'm a positive person and my stories were pretty positive there's some sad things in the book but those people gave me you know I interviewed them they told me their story they and without exception I went to each of these people in my book who have a whole

chapter in there. And I read them my story, word for word. And when I finished, I said, is there anything you would like for me to change? Anything you're uncomfortable with? Anything that's inaccurate. Only one person's, I had come to her apartment. And only one person said, well, you talk about my place as being disheveled. Could we cut that out? And I said, well, that's fair enough, sure. I don't have to say that. Is that the chapter called The Horder? No, I didn't leave the word cluttered in.

I worked in cluttered, but no, she's not a hoarder. But there's a story about a man who lives here. He is amazing. When he was a child, oh, I just dropped my ear thing. Should I pick it up? Is it an ear ring? Can you hear us? Do you still have one in your ear?

Uh-huh. Well, is that enough? for. Well, I don't see. She'll be back in a second. If you're just joining us, we're a mid-podcast, and my mom's air buds have fallen out of her here. Only one of them. Only one.

This would be a good time to talk about this book. There it is right there. Oh, no. Not the home. People are absolutely loving it. It's available at Amazon and pretty much everywhere you buy books right now. My mom's having a great time. She just did a signing over there in the home.

People came from all over the place. you know, again, right now, she's not writing her book or talking about her book. She's looking for an airbud that just fell out of her ear and possibly down her shirt. Mom, is it down your shirt? I heard it hit the floor. Did you? It still could have gone all the way through. I mean, really?

Peg, if you can still hear us, maybe we just, yeah, then why don't we just let it go and you can find it afterwards? I'm sorry. That's okay. Kind of soldier on with just one. Yeah. Well, anyway, this man, when he was a child. Without missing a beat. Love it.

Lived in Lithuania with his parents and three siblings. Well, they were, his family was banished to Siberia. And he spent part of his childhood in Siberia. He has such wonderful stories about his life in Siberia. Siberia. It was, I should look sad when I say this, it was horrible. It really was a nightmare and was responsible for his parents' early death. And he, of course, has never forgotten these stories. And he told them to me. And it's just wonderful. People are loving it. That's one of the stories where it was kind of hard to find the humor. There wasn't much humor. There wasn't much humor.

There was some irony, but there wasn't much humor. Oh, God, there's so many stories. People are stopping to tell me that they love the book. I'd love to walk through the lobby and see people reading my book or walk past the dining room and people sitting at the bar, having a drink and reading my... It's a high. I'm going to say two things in response to what I've just heard.

First of all, you mentioned the carnival. Peggy Lucky goes to the carnival, pulls the winning number, and it happens to be her dad. Who's the guy holding the bowl, essentially? So the whole thing looks rigged. Oh, wait a minute. No, no, her father was in the audience. He wasn't in charge of the, no, there was the people in charge. That's not as bad then.

It's still pretty bad. It's still pretty bad. It's still pretty sus. Yeah. Yeah. But that's not in my book, maybe in my book. maybe in my next book. Yeah.

But I just heard that story. Peggy gets lucky. Well, we got lucky to his kids because my mom's dad, Carl Noble, was really the state inspector. You know, he was an electrician, an electrical contractor, and he wound up working for the state. And among his duties was inspecting the rides on carnival midways. So, yeah, we'd have these carnivals that would come to the neighborhood. Some really, like the Lions Club, would sponsor one, you know, over at Fullerton Park. But he was also responsible for inspecting the midway at the state fair.

You know, the Timonium State Fair. That was a big deal. You know, there's a big midway. And the amusement guy at the time was called a dagle. I never really thought much about it. But if they're not happy, the midway gets closed. Like my grandfather had a lot of power. And of course, he was utterly scrupulous and beyond beyond.

I mean, he's truly an uncorruptible man, you know. But a situation like that wouldn't be uncommon for somebody to slip an inspector, a little something under the table to look the other way around, you know, some rides that maybe weren't up to code and so forth. Nothing like that ever happened, but all of the guys in charge of the Midway knew that he was in a position of power. And they gave him bags, not filled with money, but free passes. And so when we went to the state fair, we would get like these books for free rides. And, you know, looking back, I realized we didn't grow with money or anything like that. But boy, I felt rich on the carnival midway, thanks to your dad.

And just that was the first time I ever felt like, wow, you know what, I'm going to get a good table. I'm going to get, you know, somebody somewhere is going to do something. I just couldn't believe I had this inside track. Well, I'll tell you about the irony of it. The irony is that they had these fabulous rides. And, yeah, we had a book with ride tickets. They didn't like the rides. They didn't like the Ferris wheel.

They didn't like the merry-go-round. They didn't like the will twirl or tilt-a-twirl. Tilt-a-wirl. The only thing you liked, do you remember? I know I like the bumper cars. Oh, my gosh. The bumper cars. Well, it got to the point where the guy in charge of the bumper cars would say,

you just got off. You give somebody else to have a turn. Do you remember things? thing called, they called it the Roundup, but before that it was called the hellhole. Oh, you just stand up and you're locked in and then you go. Yes. That was one of the first things I got on with that free ride. And you're up against the wall and you're spinning and you spin faster and faster and

you're in a cage. And then the cage falls away and you're just pinned to the wall. And then the whole thing, rather than spinning around like a merry-go-round, it tilts up on its side, like 90 degrees. So now you're inside of, like, imagine being in a tire that's just rolling down a hill pinned to the inside of the tire. That's what this thing is. It's a torture device. And the first time I got on, somebody threw up. Don't know who. Didn't matter. But when you throw out in centripical force, it just, it hovers in mid-air and everybody else just gets dragged through it, you know, very, very quickly.

Everybody's crawling off the ride covered in somebody else's puke, and half of them are thrown up because they're so disgusted with it. And it just turned into a vomatorium. So, yeah, bumper cars. Much safer way to go. Yeah, it was. It was fun. I also got one last thing.

I wanted to tell you, do you remember my old girlfriend, Katie? Yeah. Talk about Lucky. When we broke up, boy, she dodged a bullet, huh? She was. Yeah, she did. Talk about luck. Yeah, she did.

Talk about luck. She wanted to move to L.A. to become a model and an actress. And I just remember saying, Katie, you know, I mean, you're beautiful, but the odds of you even getting an agent, it's so tough. And there's so many beautiful women. And you're so smart. You do all these other things. Why do you even want to bother? And she was like, this is what I want to do.

And I think I'm going to do it. So anyway, go sell your stupid houses on your dumb real estate show down there in Baltimore. I'm going to go to L.A. and get famous. And I just thought, well, that's, you know, whatever. She's out there for 24 hours. And her favorite game show in the world is the price is right. So the first thing she does is she goes to CBS Studios to get tickets to sit in the audience of the price is right. And she gets in.

There are 1,000 people. They got room for maybe 100, 150. She gets in. And she's sitting there. And I think in the second round, Katie, come on down. And she goes down. And she plays the game.

I forget what it was. But she wins. And she wins to the point where she's got enough to get called back for the showcase showdown. She's been in L.A. 24 hours. and she's on her favorite game show, winning, and then she gets in the showcase showdown. And she not only wins, she wins both of them.

Her guess is within $100. She wins like two cars, hot tubs, skis. I mean, like, all of this stuff. And I remember just talking to her later that week she called. I just want to let you know, I got out here, okay? I'm like, well, how's it going? She was pretty great. Got on the prices, right.

Won both showcases. And then she signed with an agent a week or two later and started showing up in catalogs. Anyway. And that's what she's doing. Is she still working? I guess not a lot of work for models in their 60s. Well, she's not that old. She was a bit younger than me.

But interestingly, she got hooked up with a guy named Daigler, and she works now on a carnival midway on the hellhole. And basically, yeah, she just brushes the vomit off of strangers now every day. But she says it's rewarding and good fun. She was a beautiful woman. She still is. Well, here we are. Look at that. Been talking for an hour.

Oh, have we really? Yeah. I think we have. I hope we said something fairly interesting. Oh, I know I did. What do you think, Chuck? Oh, no, I think there's a lot to get rid of. Stu again.

I don't think anybody's going to talk. We're not getting rid of that. Stu again, especially on Halloween. Oh, is that a racist peanut butter cup? No, we made you some stew. Take it home, enjoy it. No. Too far.

Too bogus. Mom, I love you. Congratulations on your book. Everybody loves it. People can pick up copies at, uh, Mike row.com slash mom's book. Her previous books are available there as well. Easy to get at Amazon too or wherever you get your books. You'll laugh. You'll cry. And you might even go ahead and sign up to live in a retirement community 10, 20 years before you're planning on it. It's that much

fun. All right, honey. All right. This has been fun. All right. See you guys. Take care. I'm going to go get a bowl of beef stew. And I'll talk to you guys next week. There's no podcast without a sponsor. Thank them for paying the freight. Please don't fast forward through their cover shows. Even the ones you hate. Hey, everybody, thanks again so much for listening to this podcast. And especially for patronizing,

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