The Way I Heard It with Mike Rowe - 76: A Hot Babe Who Liked It Rough

Episode Date: September 26, 2017

The family business was brutal - but this Babe wanted in.

This is the way I heard it. Babe looked into the mirror and considered the handsome face that stared back. A strong jaw, a straight nose, an intelligent gaze, and a head full of naturally curly hair, luxurious hair, the kind of hair through which women yearned to run their fingers. Along with his trademark mustache, waxed to perfection, Babe knew he was a bit of a dandy, and that was a problem. Obviously, being handsome was not all bad. Every weekend down at the Triangle Ballroom, the girls stood in line for a chance to dance with Babe.

The waltz, the Foxtrot, the Charleston. Babe could do it all. So graceful was Babe on the dance floor, everyone assumed he would go pro. But deep down, Babe wasn't a dandy or a dancer. He was a fighter, just like his older brothers, a fighter who was anxious. to follow in his brother's footsteps, but apparently too handsome to do so. Moses and Samuel, on the other hand, looked like the brawlers they were. Babe's older brothers were tough, no-nonsense men, with flat, leathery faces who gave as well as they got

and had the scars to prove it. But when Babe's brothers partnered up with Lewis, another neighborhood kid who wasn't afraid to mix it up, Babe grew jealous. And when the Irish kingpin himself, Ted Healy, hired all three men to do his heavy lifting, Babe was beside himself. He pleaded to join their gang, but they all laughed at the prospect.

Forget it, said Moses. You're too pretty for this kind of work. Trust me, said Samuel. You don't want any part of Healy's action. Listen to your brothers, said Lewis. Stick with your dancing and enjoy the ladies. The boys weren't wrong. Like most bosses back in the 30s,

Ted Healy's racket was held together by violence. But the profit distribution was all wrong. Healy paid his men a few hundred bucks for a night's work, while he pulled in thousands. Babe saw this injustice clearly. Why couldn't his brothers? Moses and Samuel had killed for Healy. More than once, so would Lewis.

Why would they accept so much risk? for so little reward. Babe, by to his time, watching from the shadows as Healy got rich, waiting for someone to snap. It could have been Lewis, or it could have been Moses. But it turned out to be Samuel.

Early on a Saturday evening, right before a major job, Healy showed up drunk and spoke to Samuel in a completely unprofessional way. While Samuel was in no mood, He pushed back verbally. Healy pushed back physically. And Sam lunged at Healy with murder in his eyes. But Moses held him back. Go ahead and try it, Healy slurred. You'll be finished in this town for good. Samuel considered his options. The hell with it. Life was too short to waste on men like Healy.

Samuel walked away as Healy turned to Moses. Well, he said, what now? We're down a man. I'm not going out there with just a two of you. Moses looked over Healy's shoulder. What about Babe? Right on cue, the handsome little brother walked out of the shadows and straight up to Healy, cracking his knuckles, trying to look the part. Healy roared with laughter. This one, he cackled, with his fancy hair and his fruity little mustache.

It's not a chance. He won't last five minutes out there. Now it was Babe, who considered his options. To hell with it, life was too short to waste on men like Healy. Babe pulled a razor from his back pocket and proceeded to show Ted Healy exactly what he was made of. He grabbed his victim by the hair and sliced again and again.

He was relentless, remorseless, and when he was done, Moses and Lou could do nothing but stare and wonder at the carnage. In the most important audition of his life, Babe had killed. Good Lord, said Moses. You look like a dirty tennis ball. The men regarded the pile of naturally curly hair,

strewn about the backstage floor, and burst out laughing. Even Healy couldn't help but giggle. The transformation was unbelievable. Babes, once handsome head, really did look like a dirty, tennis ball. A few minutes later, the mustache was also gone, and the makeover was complete. That night, Ted Healy told his usual jokes and sang his usual songs, but no one paid him

much attention, because upstage, to the raucous delight of the vaudevillian crowd, Moses was beating the snod out of his little brother in the most hysterical ways imaginable, and when the violence reached a fever pitch, the ballroom day. answer that could have gone pro, did the funniest little jig anyone had ever seen. Not a waltz or a fox trot, not the Charleston or the Lindy, but a weird little two-step, followed by an elaborate flop to the ground, where he proceeded to spin himself in circles like a draught and spew out a litany of gibberish, not unlike that of a deranged eight-year-old. The crowd went wild, and for the second time that evening, Babe killed.

It must have been strange for Lou, the one they called Larry, as he played his violin in the midst of so much cartoonish brutality. Strange too for Samuel, the one they called Shemp, as he watched his little brother not only replace him on stage, but go on to appear in over 150 films. Stranger still for Moses, the one they called Mo. He would spend the next 20 years beating the hell out of his own flesh and blood, the one he said was. too pretty to get involved with the family business. But strangest of all, perhaps, for the handsome lad whose movie star good looks nearly kept him from becoming the great comedian he was destined to be. When Babe Horwitz finally realized the cost of fame was nothing less than the price of his own vanity, he chopped off all that luxurious hair, along with his cherished mustache. Only then

did he become the most famous punching bag of all time, the one they called Curly. As for the man who brought them all together, well, his name might be a bit more familiar if he hadn't gotten so greedy, which is why very few people today recall the first half of that once famous vaudeville act, originally known as Ted Healy and his three stooges.

Anyway, that's the way I heard it. If you work in university maintenance, Granger considers you an MVP because your playbook ensures your arena is always ready for tip off. And Granger is your trusted partner. Offering the products you need all in one place from HVAC and plumbing supplies to lighting and more

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