The Weekly Planet - 191 Transformers The Last Knight is...

Episode Date: June 26, 2017

Last week saw the release of Transformers The Last Knight and it’s no good.We get into that as well as a MCU exclusive (maybe?), Venom in the MCU, Fantastic Four getting a reboot, Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom, Watchmen the TV series and moooooooore. Thanks for listening winking face.Just Make The Thing: https://goo.gl/nnXuu6What Happened To The Han Solo Movie:Caravan Of Garbage: https://goo.gl/Vt7XjTRAWCollings Animation: https://goo.gl/bnCoMg2:46 Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom5:14 Daniel Day Lewis retires from acting7:55 Carnage in the Venom movie9:16 Venom in the MCU11:12 Watchmen TV Series18:46 Fantastic Four reboot...4?21:41 Han Solo troubles34:53 Marvel scoop, big deal!43:30 Transformers Spoiler Review. All spoilers1:26:32 What We Reading/What We Gonna Read1:29:17 Letters It’s Time For LettersAmazon affiliate link: https://amzn.to/35hSCXBThe Weekly Planet YouTube Channel: https://goo.gl/1ZQFGHFind out T-Shirts here: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/mr-sunday-movies Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

FX's The Veil explores the surprising and fraught relationship between two women who play a deadly game of truth and lies on the road from Istanbul to Paris and London. One woman has a secret, the other a mission to reveal it before thousands of lives are lost. FX's The Veil, starring Elizabeth Moss, is now streaming on Disney+. Welcome back everybody to another episode of the Weekly Planet, official podcast of comicbookmovie.com where we talk movies, comics, TV shows. My name is James, also known as Mr. Sunday. With me as always is my co-host, Nick Mason. I'm right here.

You are right here. You said that as a question, like you forgot my name briefly. Did you forget my name briefly? Well, I... So one day I plan to look up and it's going to be that moment in Good Will Hunting and you're not there. And I just smile to myself and go, he's made it. He's escaped.

He's broken the curse. Yeah. Yeah. Just before we get into the news yes uh you know my wife claire yes you see her you never shut up about it that's true that's love man anyway she's a funny voice like you from you you you refer to her use a funny voice like some sort of eastern european voice yes that's right i understand what you're doing there but all right whatever you whatever makes you feel comfortable she's um she's got a podcast called

Just Make The Thing where her and her friend Chanel talk about like getting creative things off the ground and like the stumbling blocks that you might find along the way

and in the latest episode which is up now and it's down below it's me and her talking about this podcast my YouTube channel mate

because you've got nothing else going on and it's I don't know if you're interested in kind of how any of this started, then yeah, I'd say give it a listen. It's about 40 or so minutes.

How long did you give it the, it's difficult, from personal experience, it's difficult to avoid being on somebody's podcast if you live with them. That is very true, yeah. Which just happened to me in the past. And you're like, I have to keep putting it off. Did you chase around for a few weeks? And you're like, oh, pretty busy schedule, mate, I can't. I'd rather not, you know.

Run off me feet, really. No, I was happy to do it. Yeah, great. No, I think it's interesting. We talked about you for a little bit as well. Oh, no. There you go. None of it good.

But let's get into this show. Is it in a segment called, like, anchors that weigh you down? That's right, yeah. Here's how to eliminate the things that just stop you from being creative. This is about the human barnacle in both of our lives. No, not at all. That's linked below, though, if you want to check it out. Also, Jurassic World 2, first bit of news.

Here we go. It's officially titled Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom. Hello. So I guess that refers to... Whatever happened at the end of the last one. They took all the dinosaur embryos and they jumped ship. Oh, yeah, B.D. Wong was evil. He was.

He went mad. Okay, right. Do you think that's going to be the plot of the new one, or do you think Fallen Kingdom is going to refer to the destruction of Jurassic World and what's left of it? But do you think destruction of jurassic world and what's left of it but do you think yeah potentially or what's left of the company maybe but pretend but like do you want to go back to another theme park that's that's where the money is that's what they're going to do like wasn't weren't two and three more or less that's yeah let's go back to

what was left and this is kind of a soft reboot yeah so i reckon two is going to be jurassic park two i think it's going to be a bit different. I think they're going to try something else. Hit me with your something else. I don't know what that is. Terrific. We've talked about before, do Planet of the Apes, but with dinosaurs. Yeah, right.

So like they're just in the world. Yeah, sure. I don't know if that's going to be it, but they've given nothing away. We know that Jeff Goldblum's back. So that's pretty good, isn't it? Oh, he's done with his Foodora adverts. Is that what he's doing? Yeah, you've not seen those.

They're all over the place in Melbourne. They're in bus shelters and stuff. Good on him. Americans, is Jeff Goldblum doing Foodora ads in America? Or is he doing that thing where celebrities... Yeah, Sam Jackson does Sportsbet in Australia. Yeah, right. Things like that, yeah.

Who else? Alec Baldwin does an an ad for like a lending company. Oh, I thought you were going to say suits for a big wide man. Don't you think he'd be good for that? I have a big wide neck, he says. Get a big suit. Not a fat man, but a broad man in the neck. I can't remember the name of the company.

It doesn't matter. Anyway, if any of those celebrities are shilling weird stuff in your country, let us know. That's what people do, though. They just be like, you know, it's like George Clooney sells like coffee in Japan or whatever. Yeah, whatever the hell he's doing. Something caffeinated in Japan. Yes. Yeah.

Probably chewing, probably caffeinated chewing gum. Yeah, no doubt. You know what they're like over there. I know what they're like. I don't approve. But do you approve of Jurassic World 2, Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom? I bet it's going to be fine. Yeah.

It's the director of A Monster Cause, which I haven't seen, but apparently it's a really good movie about a monster. Oh, yeah. But it might be in the mind. It might be about growing up or bullying as well. Sounds boring. Make it an actual monster. As we know from Garth Marenghi's Dark Place, metaphors are for cowards.

No metaphors. It's got to be a real monster. Well, here, metaphors are for cowards. No metaphors. It's got to be a real monster. Well, here's a coward for you, Mason. Here we go. People wanted us to talk about this, or maybe they didn't. Daniel Day-Lewis. Well, we're only going to do it if they definitely don't want us to talk about it because we're not cowards.

Daniel Day-Lewis is taking the coward's way out of acting by retiring at age 60. Did you hear about that? Yes. He's retired before. I remember he cobbled shoes for 15 years or whatever it was. For that role as a cobbler? I don't know if he did. I think he just likes art.

For him, for that 10 years, it was cobbling shoes. I like Daniel Day-Lewis. Do you think maybe he was learning to be a cobbler so he could cobble himself a giant shoe and live in it? Become a shoe? Become a shoe. The world's greatest shoe. I don't know. I don't believe this oh my god he's so good as a shoe i wouldn't even need the other shoe he's all i need uh yeah i don't think he'll be gone forever i think

he'll yeah he'll come back at some point yeah probably in a transformers movie absolutely although they seem to get very high caliber actors. They do, yeah. He wouldn't do Transformers. Maybe he would though. Like 10 years ago, I wouldn't have said, maybe we'll get to this later. Sure. I wouldn't have said Sir Anthony Hopkins

would have done a Transformers movie. I would say that's way more likely than, Daniel Day-Lewis is the epitome of like an actor's actor. Yeah, I know. But also I think there's ways to get into an actor's head like that. You know what the ultimate challenge would be? Is to be in a movie that's total garbage. Not that I'm saying anything about a movie

we're going to review later, but be in a movie that's total, absolute garbage, the worst one in the franchise so far, and see if you can somehow turn it around and have people praise your amazing performance in a garbage movie. I reckon if you pitched it to him like that have people praise your amazing performance in a garbage movie. I reckon if you pitched it to him like that, he would come out of retirement for something crap.

He'd climb out of that shoe. Yeah, exactly. That's right. He'd clomp his way onto sets. I don't think he would ever do that. Yeah, I think he'd only come back for like to do There Will Be Blood, but more acting. He spends 10 years on the top of a shoe repair building

as the giant shoe oh he's the world's greatest actor anyway it's a shame but he only does like a movie every two or three years anyway so i don't feel like he'll be gone forever also and maybe it's just me being under pressure because i've got this microphone in front of me but if you said name a daniel day lewis movie right now, I wouldn't be able to tell you. I'll give you a clue. My Left Foot?

I haven't seen it. Was he in My Left Foot? I think he was. Perfect! I was going to give you a clue. That's a kill. That's a kill. Oh, yeah.

That one. The Gangs of New York. Yeah. Ironically, he was the right shoe. In my right shoe. Very good. I don't like Gangs of New new york no it's not good it's not good anyway uh here's something that might not be good carnage will be the villain

of the venom movie it seems great yeah sure i mean because if you if you're doing a venom solo movie you need someone worse than murder a venom yes exactly right mass murder a carnage correct it's the perfect crime or movie. Mass murder. Does that excite you any more or less for what they're doing or not doing? Depending if it gets a reboot before it comes out. I reckon less because... Why's that?

I guess because it's the... Like, we've seen enough superhero movies at this point. We don't need the trope to be here's a character and the the villain of that hero is the same has the same powers more or less right that's boring yeah and it's going to end in a cgi fest of just tendrils whipping at each other isn't it unless they make venom less tenderly yeah in which case he's just a bigger spider-man yeah i think that's what it will be i think carnage will be more tenderly yeah you Yeah. Have you seen Life, the movie Life? No. No, don't worry about it.

Okay. Did they get a release here? I don't know. But you've seen it. I have seen it. How'd you do that? I saw it on a plane. Oh yeah, you saw it on a plane.

Which plane? Where was the plane going? To a movie studio. Oh, a movie studio. Wow. Huh. Does that story check out? That story absolutely checks out, yeah.

Did you see Kevin Feige get thrown under a bus? Yes, I did, yeah. That's quite a bit of you. So she's from Sony. She's the head of Sony or one of them. And she said something to the effect of, yeah, so all Venom and Carnage and Black Cat and Silver said they're all going to exist in the Marvel Universe, aren't they?

Correct, yeah, yeah. And Kevin Feige's like, Do you think, because he's also said before that it's separate. Yeah. But I think it could work in the sense of, look, Sony would be mad to be like, this is completely separate. I mean, they would have seen the backlash of being like, you're just going to ruin everything again.

Yeah, right. So I think what it will be, you're just going to ruin everything again. Yeah, right. So I think what it will be, it'll just have very loose links to Spider-Man. So maybe it's in the MCU. Maybe it's not. Yeah, sure. You know what I mean? Like, because they were going to put Oscorp Tower

from the amazing Spider-Man into the Avengers. Like, they didn't end up doing it. So that would have loosely linked to them. So I think that's kind of the way they're going to do this. Because after, I think it's Homecoming 2, or maybe even Avengers 4. Well, now apparently it's going to go Avengers 4, then Homecoming 2.

Okay, right. That's the order now. Gotcha. Okay. And so that means that then their contract is up. So they can do whatever they want anyway. So they could be like, well, this is linked to Spider-Man. Spider-Man is technically linked to the other stuff.

This feels a little bit like a cry for help from Sony as well sort of like they don't want to they don't want to be like we don't know what we're doing so they're just like it's going to be set in the same universe

and then Kevin Feige's like and he gets off stage and he has to make some calls of like hey we're going to hey guys can you guys all come in and work some overtime you're going to fix some films

next couple of years you're going to have to fix a whole bunch of films though the word is it's coming about some Spider-Man Homecoming which actually Marvel did make to be fair

Sony are just distributing it apparently it's very good great the best since Spider-Man 2 which is the Spider-Man film that's great but you still hate it

or dislike it yeah probably yeah you looking forward to it yes yeah me too absolutely but are you looking forward

to this even more get ready brace yourself Watchmen TV series coming to Me too. Absolutely. But are you looking forward to this even more? Get ready. Brace yourself. Watchmen TV series coming to HBO. That's the Watchmen that everybody wanted for many, many years. Yeah. Making an HBO series.

And people were saying that before Game of Thrones, before... Before Watchmen the movie. Before Entourage. Before Entourage. The movie and the TV series. Before 2003 or whenever Entourage started. I think so. Okay. Before Sex and the City.

What, from like 97? I don't know. That's actually possible. Well, I meant more that people have been asking for this before HBO just started doing Game of Thrones and all weird sci-fi fantasy genre stuff. Yes, it was always said that, like, I know a few people tried to adapt it and I think Terry Gilliam tried to do it at one point. Sorry, that was rude to Terry Gilliam. What I meant was most of Terry Gilliam's films, that's what I meant.

But I think he said something to the effect of it shouldn't be a movie. I like The Adventures of Baron Munchausen. I haven't seen it. The only movie of his I've seen is Brazil and I hated it. But the thing that people are kind of being a bit cautious about is that it's damon lindelof who did lost right and people don't like lost and you remember at

the end of well that's not true a lot of people very dissatisfied with how it wrapped up even when when breaking bad finished and everyone enjoyed that so much they then took to twitter to insult damon to be like this is how you end a series yeah but uh i i i think that's i think it's good and i think it's also an opportunity to delve into the extra source material as well sure i've read any of that but if you're making a series i thought you meant the pirate stuff yeah yeah why not just do it all absolutely yeah what okay here's the thing though so the pirate stuff which you can get on the Curse of the Black Freighter, you can get on the David N stuff,

and it's sort of animated motion comic style stuff. It's Jerry Butler. Do you think that if they do that for the TV series, they'll make it live action, or do you think they'll make it animated? Oh, that's a good question. I think they should make it full animated. Because it's a comic book that people are reading in the context of the show. I guess that's true. But also because they already did it fully animated but i think because it's a comic book that people are reading i guess that's true but also because they already did it fully animated yeah right like is

that do you not do that then i don't know yeah maybe you do a hyper stylized stylized sin city style oh yes whatever no i can see why you would want to do it animated but i don't know whether they will because they already did it like that yeah then again they already did watchmen and they're doing it again so they might not do the comic book stuff at all. Yeah. But then if they don't do the comic book stuff at all, the whole thing's a metaphor for Ozymandias' journey to save the world and then he's destroyed the world.

Spoiler alert. What? Yeah, I know, right? So do you think they're going to put the squid back in? Yes. They'll have to, won't they? They'll have to because they can't do a new twist that is different from the original change.

So it's going to have to be a faithful adaptation. The twist can't be that you do the new twist from the movie. Right, exactly. Have you read any of the supplementary material? Like before watching some of it? And? It's a bit hit and miss, I've heard. Yeah, I think we talked about this briefly before.

It's a bit hit and miss, I've heard. Yeah, I think we talked about this briefly before. It's a bit hit and miss, and they've changed some of the continuity of some of it, which I thought was odd. Comedian stuff, yeah? Yeah, so in the comedian series, so in the original Watchmen, it's heavily implied he killed JFK. In the movie, you literally see him

disassembling a sniper rifle on the grassy knoll after JFK's been killed. So it's like, yeah, he definitely did do it. you literally see him disassembling a sniper rifle on the grassy knoll after jfk has been being killed yeah so it's it's like yeah he definitely did do it but in the comic in the first issue of before watchman he is somewhere else when j he's friends with jfk yeah and he's somewhere else when jfk is killed and doesn't he then go to find the killer like yeah or something yeah so they try to paint him as a more sympathetic character but that's not the point of that isn't he a rapist

or an attempted rapist yes and he's shot like that with a woman in Vietnam who had his baby yeah or whatever

yeah you don't have not everything not every character in a in a piece of fiction has to be a good person no

you can hate a character that's like he's a you know he's a bad bloke he's a bad person and he exists in that world so let's hear the story of him i guess yeah absolutely i'm trying to think also he does get

beaten up and hurled out a window to his death so he does kind of get some comeuppance in the end or possibly at right at the start yeah absolutely yeah i wonder how i do wonder how they're going to frame it like how they're going to tell this. Like how they're going to tell this story. Yeah. Whether they will take it way back to the very start. You could even tell the golden age of superheroes in this. That's true, yeah. There's so much you could do. Do you think they're going to call them... Because in the movie, it's the Minutemen.

Yeah. And then... Sorry, in the comic books, it's the Minutemen and the... I can't remember. It's Minutemen and then a different thing. It's a different thing. But in this, they're called the Watchmen. Right.

Because they were like, why would we call it Watchmen if it isn't... Yeah. If the team in the movie isn't called the Watchmen. But it's called the Watchmen because of the characters are the Watchmen. Is that why it's called Watchmen? No, it's called Watchmen because they are metaphorically... Because you know the phrase, who watches the Watchmen? Yeah, yeah.

Which is spray painted on a wall. Right. That's the whole thing. Yes. They're supposed to be the guardians of the world, but who's paying attention to them? Turns out, nobody. Nobody. Yeah.

No, I think this is good. Yeah. I think I'd be way more excited for it if we hadn't had the movie already. Sure, right. But hey, why not? Yeah. TV. And again, the movie is quite divisive.

Yeah. I like it. Yep. I like it too. Our friend Levens hates it. Yeah, he does. Yeah. He's wrong. No, he's it too. Our friend Levens hates it. Yeah, he does. Yeah, he's wrong. No, he's probably right.

Maybe he's right. Yeah, he's probably right. This is for everybody. What do you think they're going to do costume-wise? Oh. Because, you know, in the comic book, it's kind of, they're very classic superhero-y costumes. They're kind of soft and 60s Batman-esque.

Yeah. And in the movie, they're kind of... Some of them are kind of... It's goggled in Batman outfits. Yeah, it's Batman and Robin style. Yeah. You know, goggles and bat nipples and what have you. No, I think they'll do the comic version of it.

Because that's a very... Especially seeing his films since, but that's a very Snyder interpretation. Yeah, right. Especially when you look at Night Owl and then you look at Batman from

the upcoming Justice League movie yeah right it's like the same goggles it is isn't it yeah head thing so no I think they'll do

they'll adhere more closely to the comic I think maybe the flashback scenes are going to be like that but I think maybe the modern day version it's going to be more like

say Sin City yes like uh like just band-aids just band-aids on the face the glow yeah band-aids maybe like daredevil like the modern day right like something that's kind of like you know or like but a lot of those guys are pulling their old gear out from yeah i guess that's true yeah i don't know whether they'd have an updated suit you're right yeah that's true. So I don't know whether they'd have an updated suit. Maybe, you're right. Yeah.

That's true. You know what? I did give a go the other day because we'll do it for Caravan of Garbage. I gave the Watchmen video game. The beat-em-up? The side-scrolling beat-em-up. No, no. It's like an Arkham-esque beat-em-up.

Oh, is it? I've heard it was terrible. It's not great, but I'm like, yeah, it's all right. I mean, it cost me like five, ten bucks or whatever it was, and it's fine. Wow. So we'll do a bit of that. Did you buy a physical copy? No, I just downloaded it. me like five, ten bucks or whatever it was, and it's fine. Wow. So we'll do a bit of that. Did you buy a physical copy? No, I just downloaded it.

All right. Yeah. But, you know, I've been hoarding games. I don't know if you've noticed, but every time you come here, there's like a couple of new games there. You've been hoarding games, old newspapers. Yep, correct. Tissue boxes that are on your feet.

Nail clippings. Yeah, all the stuff. Just all of it. Yeah, absolutely. Some people say that being alone in this house has driven you mad, but I think they're right. I think it's made me more powerful in a way. That's true.

Yeah. Yeah. All right. What's next? We're kind of cruising through this, mate. This might be a short episode. No. I've got many things to say later.

So many things. Good. Fantastic Four is allegedly, apparently, potentially getting a reboot at Fox. So it's still there, apparently. I thought it might have secretly gone back to Marvel, but nope. Nope. That was the hope when we saw the watches in the latest Guardians of the Galaxy. And they have Galactus, apparently, and Marvel have Galactus.

Do they? Apparently, yeah. So this is going to be a Fantastic Four movie from Fox, who have historically never made a great Fantastic Four movie, except all the good Fantastic Four villains have been given over to Marvel. Correct. So they can't use any of them. That's right.

So it's going to be the Fantastic Four arguing with Willy Lumpkin, their mailman, for two hours. Terrific. So this reboot's going to focus on not the Fantastic Four. Great. Great. Twist. Good start, actually. Well, it might be because they've kind of done a lot of versions of it,

haven't they? But it's going to focus on Franklin and Valeria, who are the children of Reed Richards and Sue Storm. And Human Torch and the Thing will appear, but it's going to be a kid-friendly entry in the vein of The Incredibles because, as we all know, The Incredibles is the only good Fantastic Four movie.

Absolutely. So it would make sense that they would borrow from something which did a better version of what they were doing. Yeah. What do you think of that? Okay. Why not, eh? Why not?

Yeah. If they're not going to give it up. It seems to me they've gone, okay, look, we have to make a Fantastic Four movie in order to keep our ownership of the Fantastic Four. What's the least amount of Fantastic Four we can put in this movie and retain the ownership? And they've gone, two of them? Two of them.

Two Human Torch and Thing, that'll do. And then the kids? Yeah. That adds up to four, I guess. That's right. And the lawyer's there and the lawyer is looking, typing stuff and then looks up and just gives them a thumbs up. They're like, all right, good.

We've met the quota. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I think this is kind of smart because we've seen The Origin multiple times now. They've burnt kind of every version they've given a go. And so now just jump ahead and just kind of be like, they have kids

and the heroes exist in this universe, but it's a kid-friendly film that's going to focus on that. I mean, I still don't think it'll probably be any good. But then again, Fox have learned some lessons, mate. But also,

sometimes they haven't learned lessons. It's confusing. So I don't know. I think I remember us saying this when we saw the last one that for me, I just wanted to see them keep failing at this forever. Oh, yeah. Like not giving it back to Marvel,

but just every four years keep doing it and just getting progressively worse. Because they're all bad, but they're so differently bad. Yeah, that's right. It's amazing. Isn't it, though? Yeah. It's got to be. Is it a tax write-off maybe?

Well, if they don't do it, they have to give it back. Yeah, right. So that's the – yeah. And it's probably a tax write-off. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. All right. Here we go.

Mason, we accidentally were at the forefront of breaking news the other week. That's right. Weekly Planet exclusives. I don't care for it, quite frankly. No, well, when I say that, I mean somebody sent us an anonymous tip and then we went, maybe this is true. Maybe this is true. And it turns out that...

We'll believe what you say. Yeah, it turns out it was. So it's basically that Phil Lord and Chris Miller have been fired from the Han Solo solo film. Right. Is it nearly finished? Three weeks left of principal photography and then five weeks left of reshoots.

But it's on hiatus until mid july for now uh i actually i've done a whole video on it breaking down how it started and where it's at now i'll link it below so it'll be more comprehensive than whatever we kind of spew now i feel because i'm kind of burnt on it but do you have any opinions on uh what's going on well i've read a variety article yeah. Yeah. A variety of articles, you say. You went above and beyond. You read multiple articles. No. Go on.

I read one article. Oh, I was going to say, that's way more. And Variety's site is really slow, and the scrolling locks up when you scroll it. So I read maybe three quarters of it, and then I stopped. But the point is that it was an article about how auteur filmmaking is dead now in the year of, because in the year of like brands and franchises and stuff, you know, I'm always saying what's a director do really? You do say that a lot.

I do say that. And I think that's been proven true here. Yeah. Like, because back in the day, like you had an auteur director and they were like, oh, I want my movie to look like this. And I want my characters to be like this. And I think that's not always true. I every era of hollywood there is this kind of thing going on yeah but i see what you mean sorry go on yeah but and so now we've got this thing of like the producers come in and they say okay we've got a you've got to build this movie

it's going to have these set pieces it's going to have these characters and this look and it's got to fit in with the rest of the the genre and the the the universe and it's got to you know fit in with the next movie we've got to do a tease for the next movie and etc yeah and then you bring in the direct you go okay well this this director did a nice indie film and there were some fun characters in it and you got good performances performances out of them. So your job is to just come in and go, Hey, act, act good guys.

Yeah. Do this, do what's on the thing. And that very much seems like a case of that, but it also feels like there was a real lack of communication between them and, and the producers and Lucasfilm. In terms of the directors wanted to, was it,

was it, is it's, it feels like they wanted to overstep their bounds. Yes. Not as you would imagine a director would, but more like to step on the toes of the producers and say, I would like a scene like this. And they're like, we've got no room for a scene like that. They did.

And as they do, if you see any of their other movies, they apparently did a lot of improv and a lot of kind of jokes on the fly. And if you've got Donald Glover, he's great at that. So I'd imagine that, um, yeah, that that's kind of how that started.

But also, as I say this in my video, you can't do that with the $150, $150 million. You can do it with $150. Absolutely. But a production of this size, yeah,

there's not a lot of wiggle room for that kind of stuff. There's a lot of, there's a lot of wheels in motion. Are you on the side of a big movie? No, I'm on the side. I think there's... We don't have all the information. Yeah, but I think there's room for jokes that don't impact the plot, really.

Yeah, totally. It's not like Donald Glover's improv-ing a scene in which Anakin Skywalker isn't actually Darth Vader or whatever. And then they're just like, oh my God, what did he... Because then also, if he did that, edit it out. That's true. It's not like there are people in the producer's trailer going, oh my God, he said that,

and now we have to rewrite all the next three movies. But let's say... Apparently also the script is great, allegedly. Who knows? And also a good script doesn't necessarily translate to a good movie. But it's more likely obviously yes but if they're doing if they do the back the bare minimum of the scripts be like okay say these lines right now we're just gonna go do some crazy stuff right maybe they should be spending a bit more time trying to get what's on the page like translate

that to to the screen as opposed to you know doing if i don't know whether this happened but do a bit of that and then just trying to improv for an hour what you're suggesting is that the lord and miller came on like they came on set and they had a big ceremonial waste paper basket and they had and they showed every they were holding the script and they just dump it in the bin and all the cast and crew were like, yeah. I'm not even saying, I'm not saying that Disney are right. That's not what I'm saying. But I just think there was some miscommunication here. And you need, if you're going into a movie like this,

as the directors, you must know that there's going to be a lack of flexibility that you would get on certain projects. Sure, right. And also, one of the rumors was that the Han Solo portrayal was too humorous and it was almost like an Ace Ventura kind of wacky oh I say right so if it's getting to that point he's in the back of a banter yeah so I understand where they're coming I understand where everybody's coming from on this. It's an unfortunate situation. But I get it.

I understand why. If it got to that point, I can see why they were let go. Yeah, right. I understand it. I'm not saying whether or not the movie we're going to get, is it going to be better? But Ron Howard, to me, hasn't made a good movie in a while. Who stepped in?

Actually, I saw Rush recently. It's a great movie, but I didn't see the real Moby Dick story or whatever else. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. So I think he's just there to kind of like facilitate, you know, well, the rumor is,

well, there's theory that because Lawrence Kasdan wrote the script with his son, he wrote the main draft of Empire Strikes Back, that he couldn't direct it because there's like rules in the director's guild. Oh, I see, right. So they're like, they get Ron Howard in, but it's not really Ron Howard. He's just kind of doing a favor

and Lawrence Kasdan's kind of doing more of the direction. But yeah. But that being said, I'd rather see a wacky, fun, you know, crazy Han Solo, Ace Ventura movie than just a boring, bland origin movie. Yeah. But I don't know who's it. I don't movie. Yeah. But I don't know who's it. I don't know.

Yeah. I reckon, yeah, I reckon the movie's in bloody fine shape. Is that what you think? Ron Howard voice. It wasn't. This is one of my favourite things to come out of it. This is from the Pixelated Boat Twitter account.

I think everyone should follow it. It's very funny. But he made this fake Hollywood Reporter headline that says, Disney fires Han Solo directors for insisting the Chewbacca costume has to have a real bear inside it and not a tame bear. It has to be the world's most dangerous bear.

That's pretty good. Speaking of, not dangerous bears, but Star Wars Episode IX is going to be directed by Colin Trevorrow of Jurassic World. Yes. Now, did you hear... He's got an indie movie out now called The Book of Hymn.

Yeah, it's getting really kicked. And apparently it's real weird and bad. Well, that's... And I think that doesn't bode well for him going into Star Wars because they're not going to put the same trust in him as they did Rian Johnson. That's the other thing. Rian Johnson came out and said,

I've had as much freedom on Episode V 8 than I have any of my movies. But I think a lot of that also comes down to his vision adheres with what they're doing. And also, I don't know if you know this, but all of Rian Johnson's movies were intended to be Star Wars movies. But he's just such a bad director that he could never, he's never had the money. So they've ended up being like, you know, a movie about a teen in high school has to solve a murder it's about about some con artists bloody time travel

he doesn't know what he's doing oh wow so every time he's he's aimed for a star wars movie but he's accidentally made something else that's right well that's that's not good it's rough right yeah does this decrease or increase your interest in this movie decrease yeah because it'll just be like i i've always thought that the you know we get the epic sweeping scope of the the new trilogy that's you know that's going to be in the mold of the star wars movies and there's destiny and there's fate and there's action and everything's hugely dramatic and there's some laughs but it's this big straight ahead action epic yeah and the ones in between can be anything right like that was always the impression that i got it was gonna

be but now i guess they all have to be exactly the same format right yeah i don't know yeah but also if the script is as good as they say then maybe that's why they want to yeah maybe keep it that way but of course you're not going to be like yeah the script is shit i read it and we shouldn't do it anyway we'll have to see. It'll be, we'll probably never really know what the original version was because there's, there are hours of footage from Rogue One, which we will never see. You know, there is a whole other movie that they shot. Yeah.

And I wonder how much, because they've got eight weeks left. They could reshoot most of it if they wanted to. Ron Howard voice. They won't. you don't think so yeah i know also apparently this is interesting one of the stories cited um olden iron reich was the one who brought disney's attention to it oh i see he ratted him the man himself you know why he's probably a bad improv he's probably a bad improv guy so like they'd be donald lover and say a funny line And then you know Somebody else would say

A funny line And then it'd cut to him And he's just like And then one day later He's like He's calling up He's ratting him out He's like

They're making me make stuff up This isn't my job It's very possible Because there's a good chance That Donald Glover Will steal this movie from him Yeah right Yeah

Which is fine I mean not for him He'd hate that Yeah But I don't know I had something else for him. He'd hate that. Yeah. Yeah. But I don't know. I had something else to say about it. Man, make a Lando movie.

Yeah, well, I'd love to see one. That's what this was going to be. Well, the Lando comic was really good. Yeah. And I feel like, no, I want to see what kind of shenanigans he's going to get up to. He's gambling away.

Yeah. And, you know, he's like a... Because he doesn't have, like, he has a much smaller arc in the movies. Yeah. So his backstory can be anything. Swindler, heist man. Exactly.

Con man. How did he get a Cloud City? Where did he get it? Yeah, that's right. Did he make it? Maybe. Yeah, real tricky. He has to parachute out of a ship and build a piece at a time.

So many trips. But also, one more thing. Apparently the reason they didn't realise this wasn't going well all the piece at a time. So many trips. But also, one more thing. Apparently, the reason they didn't realise this wasn't going well was because day-to-day the footage that was coming in looked great.

But then when they put together an assembly cut, they were like, oh, this doesn't gel at all. Oh, I see, right. This is like a weird series of skits. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kind of loosely connected. Oh. So, yeah. They should have used a real bear, though. Yeah, right. That would make it much worse

so good alright have you heard what was that movie back in the day like in the 60s or the 80s or the 70s

it's one of those a time that isn't now where it was a movie about a family who lived with actual lions do you remember that like I was going to say

Daryl Hannah was in it but I don't think she was I think you're thinking that Tarzan movie or Clan of the Cave it was a movie and it was I'm going to look it up was it was in it, but I don't think she was. I think you're thinking that Tarzan movie. No. Or Clan of the Cave. It was a movie and I'm going to look it up. Was it like a Disney, one of those Disney kind of... Potentially, but it has like...

Is it a real family who live with real lions or is it like a documentary? It's like a fictional story about this family who live with all these wild animals. And they just put wild animals on the set, like lions and stuff, and people were attacked by lions. It's got a famous person. I'm going to look it up. A famous dead person, probably. Yeah, probably.

No, she's still alive. Anyway, continue with whatever you're talking about. I have nothing else to say. We're just going to wait until you figure it out. Okay, I'm going to Google movie. This movie from the 60s, 70s, or 80s. Movie with actual lions. Here we go. Ready. All right. I found it. Oh, 70s or 80s. Movie with actual lines. Here we go.

Ready. All right. I found it. Oh, really? Okay. Okay. Roar is a 1981 American adventure exploitation film written and directed by Noel Marshall,

produced by and starring Marshall and his then-wife, Tippi Hedren, and co-starring Hedren's real-life daughter, Melanie Griffith. That's who I'm talking about. And Marshall's real-life sons, John and Jerry. The film follows a family who are attacked by a range of ravening jungle animals at the secluded home of their keeper.

The secluded home of their keeper. Okay, so they're not living with them. They're just kind of there and they get attacked. Raw became notorious for its troubled 11-year production. 11 years. Which resulted in 70 members of its cast and crew being injured by the many predatory animals used in the film, including its main stars sustaining life-threatening injuries

ranging from bone fractures to scalpings and gangrene. What? Much of the footage capturing the injuries was included in the final cut of the film, resulting in real blood on screen. It has been considered the most dangerous film shoot in history. You just put a sheet of glass between them. Not, not, no, no, no.

We should do, we should do an episode on like episode on really bad movie sets and things like that. The film was released theatrically in Europe in 1981, but it was a financial failure. It was released theatrically in the United States for the first time in 2015. Right. Yeah. Anyway. 2015. That's weird, right?

It took 11 years to make this film. Yeah. And it's the most dangerous film ever. And then 34 years to... We've never heard... Nah. Yeah, it took 34 years to come out and now nobody knows what it is, right?

That's weird. Well, you're the only one who knows, but you don't really know. No, that's right. I mean, it sounds scary. You couldn't remember the name or the era or who was in it. Correct, or who was in it, yeah.

Mandela effect, man. That's what it is. That's what it is. That's what it is. Well, Mason, Scoops, things are on a hot streak with Scoops. Yes. We won. We did one. I'm going to roll the dice here.

Poor man's hat trick. That's right. Extremely poor man's hat trick, one correct thing. We got another anonymous email. This is relating to a future Marvel project. Oh, yes. This could very well be fake. Yeah.

But hey, when you're on a hot streak. When you're on the hot streak. And even if this is wrong, 50% is pretty good. That's right. Then we're on tepid streak. Tepid streak. Which is just as good. Yeah.

So this is... I'll read the email. Hey there, love the podcast. Just wanted to give you guys a scoop. Here we go. This is sent from a burner email, so nobody can get into trouble, specifically this person. So here we go.

I thought you'd be interested to know that Marvel is currently in the early... Big tip off 69 at hotmail.com. That's right. Currently in the early stages of developing a Howard the Duck movie. I know, insane, right? Concept art and a script treatment

is currently being developed as we speak. A director has been selected and is about to sign on the dotted line and James Gunn is currently acting as a producer Marvel are not sure they'll bring back Seth Green as the feeling is he's not a big enough name since his previous appearances were so short they could recast him and no one would notice but Gunn is pushing for them them to stick with it the original intention was to have a director and lead in place for an announcement at this year's D23 which doesn't seem likely if they haven't signed on either for sure. But it's possible my information is a touch behind.

Anyways, even if you dub this to be utter nonsense, it might be worth discussing. But if not, I understand. Keep up the good work, a friend. What do you think of that? Do you think there's a chance that that could be true? I feel like James Gunn would be, if he's leading up the cosmic side of the universe, I feel like he's kind of mad enough to push for that. Yeah, I mean, I think at the time he did say,

this doesn't mean anything. When he first appears at the end of Guardians of the Galaxy 1, I think they said, yeah, this doesn't mean anything. This is just a fun little gag we thought we'd put in. But then he reappeared in 2, right? Yeah, he was in the robot brothel. Yeah, that's right. So, I don't know.

What, you've never seen a duck have sex with a robot before, Mason? What. Yeah, that's right. So I don't know. Like what? You've never seen a duck have sex with a robot before Mason. What are you all prude? I'm very sheltered, very sheltered life. Uh, yeah, maybe.

I mean, if, I mean, people lost their minds and maybe, and, and, and, and,

and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,

and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,

and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,

and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,

and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,

and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,

and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,

and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and something out there and seeing whether people bite on it and then going, all right, fine. Infinity Gauntlet, then I guess we're doing that.

Yeah, right. Yeah, that's kind of how that kind of started. Yeah. No, look, this could be an elaborate trick, but I don't know. I feel like there could be some validity to it. And at the end of the day, if it doesn't happen, we could just say, well, they must have decided not to do it.

And then we... Yeah, nice. Because we were so influent. We sprung the story and James Gunn himself was like, can't do it now. Can't do it now. Can't do it now. They've forced our hands.

That's it. Anyway, if anyone else. First Pacino was Ego the Living Planet. That's right. And now this. Now this. Shakes his fist at the sky. Absolutely.

So yeah, there we go. That's another segment of hot scoops. Hot scoops. Too too hot get them out there yeah i feel like we're gonna get a lot of these now this is gonna be people lying forever yeah yeah we should call it hot scoop or lie okay good fx is the veil explores the surprising and fraught relationship between two women who play a deadly game of truth and lies on the road from istanbul to paris and london one woman has a secret the other a mission to reveal it before thousands of lives are lost fx is the veil

starring elizabeth moss is now streaming on Disney+. You know what is good about this? Yes. There is a silver lining in this Transformers film. Yes. It ends. Yes. It made $63 million in its opening weekend. Which is not good, right?

Which is not good. I'm learning. I mean, it's good, but it's the lowest Transformers US opening ever, and Age of Extinction did $100 million. Right. So that's a big drop. And also it opened on Tuesday. So that's a long opening weekend.

So it's had a long time to not make that much money. Right, okay. Now, should I talk about how I've been temporarily barred from Paramount's screening list? If nothing else we talk about in this episode, we should definitely talk about that. Okay, so what happened was there was a Transformers transformer screening like an official one like an official one and so i i ticked off me and you to go yeah and then i was like oh no there's one around the corner from

me and because i was you know i was by myself with my kid for the two weeks like i won't drive into the city yeah i'll just go and say that and then i'll just review it and you said would i like to go to that one instead of the media one and then I remembered The one close to you Has a pizza joint in it Where I can get a little pizza and a full sized Garlic bread and bring them into the cinema So I said I'll go to that one as well

So I emailed them back and said I'm not going to make it Thank you but no I can't So anyway I went and saw it on Tuesday night at a public screening And you said to me, the great part about this is if I went to the media screening, there'd be an embargo on the review

and I couldn't just review it straight away. But if I go to this public screening, I can. And I said, that's an interesting loophole. Are you sure that's correct? And you said, yes, that's definitely correct. I was like, yeah, maybe. So basically I got home and I put my review out and it is, look, it's a brutal review. I don't know if you've seen it. Like it's definitely true. I was like, yeah, maybe. So basically I got home and I put my review out and it is,

look, it's a brutal review. I don't know if you've seen it. Like it's not kind. I don't think I say one nice thing about it. But anyway, the embargo apparently broke at 9am here, which I didn't really check it because I'm like, well, I don't need to know that anymore. And then I got an email.

I found a loophole. I'm in the clear. Yeah, I got an email at 5 to 9 which said, you've broken the Transformers media embargo by several hours you need to take down your review yes so i emailed back i was like hey uh hey guy yep i understand like i see where you're coming from but i actually went to a public screening here's my ticket so i sent them my ticket um but look if you still want me to take it down i will that's that's fine that's fine with me and they said oh no, it's past the embargo time now.

But because you initially signed that you were going, even though you then said that you weren't, that still counts as breaking the embargo. And I said, well, look, it's your show. So if you want to stop me from going to see movies with you guys, I get it. I get them for free. And so basically I got an email back and he was very nice and he said oh listen the the word has come from the higher ups that we're

going to give you a temporary kind of hiatus oh yeah you've been put in time out i've been put in time for a few months and he was he was very nice about it it wasn't aggressive it was just this is how it is and i went imagine if he was maybe maybe if you've got, you've got a call from a block number and you're like, hello. And he's like, you son of a bitch. I know where you live. So, so now I can't say somebody's just tapping on your windows. That's right.

Yeah. So, I mean, I guess this could have gone way worse than, than what it did. Cause I guess like, well, I don't know.

I feel, I feel like because I told them I wasn't going that I'm kind of in the clear right but I understand I understand where they're coming from and like I said it's their show but I may have been a different situation if I had have said kind things but I did not so there you go I also didn't think anybody would really notice either like no no that's not true when it when I got the email I was surprised that anybody noticed because I kind of forgot that oh no like a,000 people saw this. Right, uh-huh. Yeah, so there you go.

Anyway, do you want to just do all spoilers because who cares? Yes, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, I guess we'll start with this. What did you think the story was? I can answer this. There's a magic thing and the good guys have to get it

before the bad guys get it. Yeah. Now, which Transformers movie am I referring to there? This one and all ones. All the other ones, yeah. Including the cartoon. Yeah, right? Yeah.

Absolutely. Yeah. Did you like this film at all? No. Oh, okay. Here's the thing. Here's the thing about this movie and the plot of this movie. Yeah.

So, this movie is barely a Transformers movie. Yeah. It's less Transformers movie than the other Transformers movies. So as far as the plot goes, there's so few... Okay, so here's what I liked about this movie initially. I'm like, the first couple of minutes, I'm like, oh, maybe they've improved some stuff. One of the things that I hated in all the previous ones

is that all the Decepticon character models look exactly the same. They're just sort of grey and brown and they look like crabs. But in this one, early on we see Barricade, who was the police car from the first one. Who I thought was dead, but I guess I looked it up and he was not dead. But then when he transforms into a robot, he still keeps the blue and white colour scheme. And I'm like, oh, I could recognise him from, you know,

in the battle sequence. Some of the other ones, yeah. Yeah, yeah exactly and then like megatron has a new character like a face model yeah i'm like i can sort of recognize facial expressions in this character now right maybe it's going maybe it's but then the rest of the decepticons are just the design is just like they're covered in graffiti and gold chains and green mohawks like they're all suicide squad extras that was very evident yeah especially in the introduction of them yeah how suicide squad was that so why would you steal that part from suicide squad in particular anyway i didn't mind that in suicide squad i was like oh that's a fun little introduction kind of comic book yeah but they're all they're all the same and they're all really expendable so why be like well i don't even know

what any of their names were what was some of them it's called nitro zeus yeah nitro zeus but it was probably a bone breaker or a bone shaker yeah you had to guess and one of them also wasn't let out which was they're like that's right yeah i thought that was actually that bit i didn't mind okay because so megatron's dealing in getting some of these decepticons released for whatever reason. Because Autobots, Transformers are outlawed and hunted, but also the government is okay with working with just the Decepticons. Yeah, that's right. Just the worst ones.

Yeah, right. It makes zero sense. Okay, so the plot of this movie. So there's so few Transformers and so little transforming in the movie, which I feel we'll get to later. And it's mostly in the middle where that happens. I would be willing to bet a lot of money that this wasn't a Transformers script initially

and it was like a fantasy action adventure film that somebody already had and they tacked on Transformers at the last minute. Because as we know, there is now a Transformers think tank script machine of various people who are just there to build more Transformers think tank script machine of like various people who are just there to build more

Transformers plots apparently Robert Kirkman was in it for five minutes and then he had to leave because of foot surgery and then he's never he's since come back

I can't be here I've got foot surgery for how long months and years forever yeah but what I think so what

with this movie if you take out all like if you take out Mark Wahlberg's character in his entirety and like the better part of an hour it takes him to get to London or England where all the action takes place. And then you take out all the Transformers. What this movie is, it's a movie about a woman who doesn't believe in the mythic history of england who discovers that magic is real yes and as the last descendant of merlin has to find a mystical artifact that only she can use to save earth from like a supernatural force from another world so if you take out like a third of this movie there's still a full movie in it i mean it's barely a plot yeah you're right it's like they got this think tank together

and they were like, you got any ideas? And somebody had like a Game of Thrones Mother of Dragons meets Tomb Raider meets National Treasure. And they went home on Friday and they added Transformers in. And then on Monday morning, he was like, here you go. And he gave it to Michael Bay. And Michael Bay's like, well, this is massively bloated and overlong. And if we take out any of the Merlin stuff, it won't make any sense.

Or it'll make less sense than it normally would. Perfect. You've written the perfect Transformers movie. I'm already filming it. Yeah, you're absolutely right. And the opening sequence is, it straight away kicks off with the Arthurian. Is that how you say that?

Yeah, so this is Transformers throughout history. Yes. Which I kind of like that they've kind of always kind of been here, even though it contradicts a bunch of other stuff that happens in the movie. But there's an opening battle sequence where it's just people fighting greasier people. Yeah, right. But it's also, it keeps kind of switching sides so you don't know who's kind of who in the battle.

Yeah, right. You know what I mean? Like, it's not shot very well and then stanley tucci playing your cockney drunk merlin yeah stanley tucci is back as merlin yeah as the you know the you know people are like oh merlin's not real he's a combination of other people but in this merlin is real and he's just he's not really a wizard he's just some dude but also he's like blimey i'm sozzled yeah but he's he's just, he's not really a wizard. He's just some dude, but also he's like, blimey, I'm sozzled. Yeah. But he's, he's just playing a guy from 2017 as Merlin.

Like it would be funny if he were Merlin, but it makes no sense as to why he's, he speaks like a modern day person. He doesn't, whereas everybody else speaks like, you know, like how we would imagine that people of that era spoke. So it's just like, are you from another time or what's happening? Are you Stanley Tucci from Transformers 4? That's weird, isn't it? And you drank too much of that weird Korean milk?

And now you're tripping? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, is this an hallucination? That would make more sense. You know, it would have been... The only payoff to that could have been that Stanley Tucci from Transformers 4 was the descendant of Merlin who needed to get the staff.

That's the only reason that would make sense. And so I guess one of the big draw cards of this movie is that there's a dragon in it, like a robot dragon. But there was kind of a robot dragon in the last one. I mean, it was a dinosaur. But I was speaking to a friend of mine last night. It was like, what's Transformers like and I'm like

it's no good but every one of them has like a thing to get people in except this time I don't think it worked and he was like what was the last one

and I'm like it was a dinosaur and he's like what's this one and I go it's a dragon yeah right and he laughed

is that the new draw card what is I think the draw card in this is that Optimus Prime is gonna fight Bumblebee

oh yeah you're right which is one minute yeah it's one minute it's not a terrible fight it's fine but also if you like optimus prime too bad mate he's not he's not in it he's sort of in it at the start it turns out that he did freeze when he went straight you went into space froze and then floated to Cybertron. Yeah. Yeah. And then it turns out there was one robot woman there who was his creator. Also, I was reading an interview with somebody who, one of the story group people who said, she's actually originally from Earth. So humans, she's a human.

So humans created Transformers. But that doesn't make any sense either because the Transformers were around during the age of the dinosaurs, which means humans had to exist before dinosaurs unless there's time travel, which maybe there is. It's almost like the people writing the script don't know what they're doing or talking about.

Yeah, this needs a reboot. Yeah. Big time. So... Have we really got into the plot yet? We kind of haven't. I guess so. No, that's... So the plot is they need to get Merlin's staff.

Oh, yeah. So, yeah. So, the... Okay, so there's two MacGuffins in this movie, right? So, the first one is that Mark Wahlberg is Autobot Jesus. Yes. Because every one of these movies requires somebody to be Autobot Jesus. Shia LaBeouf was Autobot Jesus.

Probably Optimus Prime was at some point. He is Autobuff, isn't he? He is very Autobuff. I thought he was going to get Transformers armor. So basically... Just a sword! So he's given a medallion that makes him Autobot Jesus, and then...

Because he's chased. Which they make a big joke of him not having sex for a while. That's funny, isn't it? It is funny. But at the end, he makes a sword and everybody's very impressed and that's it. There's nothing else to... So that is a complete write-off. So the second MacGuffin in this movie is...

King Arthur and his merry men are in the Dark Ages, in the 400 AD or whatever it is, and then they need a weapon to defeat the Saracens or the Visigoths or whoever they're fighting. It doesn't matter. The Greasy Eagles. And so Merlin goes off to find a weapon because they say he's magic, but he's not really magic.

So he goes to a cave where he knows the Transformers are hanging out. And then a mysterious road a mysterious red robot yeah who it's never a you never see his face because who is it it's nobody they make a point they make a point of keeping his face out of shot so i spent the whole movie going oh does this turn out to be bumblebee or hot rod or something yeah like is it a is it a ultra magnus ultra magnus it could be any number of characters and at the end we go oh and he's red which means he's probably somebody because the colored ones are somebody exactly they're always somebody but then it's he's never anybody he's just a knight he's just one of the the 12 the 12 knights of cyber whatever and he gives merlin a staff and

he says with this staff you can turn the tide of battle because it summons a dragon you can control the dragon yeah and even though we're the dragon that's exactly the point so that guy he's the red transformer is the dragon because the knights of cybertron combine into the dragon yeah so he's basically he has enough free will to give stanley tucci a stick that controls him. Wouldn't he just say, we've had a chat and we've agreed to help you? It would be like if... It would be different if the dragon was separate from him. Yeah, if it was in the bowels of the earth or something and it came up. But it would be like if I said,

hey, I'm going away, can you house sit for me? Hold on to this TV remote. Just FYI, if you push the green button, I'm going to fight somebody. Wherever I am, I'm going to fight you house sit for me hold on to this TV remote just FYI if you push the green button I'm going to fight somebody wherever I am I'm going to fight somebody but don't just to be clear

if you put the remote in the wrong room if you leave it there the world's going to end because that's its second function of the staff is if you stick it in Stonehenge

all the geothermal energy of the earth will go to Cybertron and the world will end because the earth is Unicron which is like they went because in Transformers the movie the Earth will go to Cybertron and the world will end. Because the Earth... Is Unicron. Which is like they went... Because in Transformers the movie...

Why is the Earth Unicron? In Transformers the movie from the 80s, Unicron was the evil, the biggest evil... Orson Welles. Transformers. Orson Welles' voice transformer that was coming to Earth to destroy Earth and consume it. So in this, they just went, oh, just reverse them.

But also, that kind of kills any... This is another reason why they need to reboot this. Yeah. The Earth has horns like Unicron has horns. Yes. If... We can never see Unicron without destroying the Earth. In its entirety, yeah.

If he somehow separates himself from the Earth, the Earth is in pieces. Yes, right. If he transforms, the Earth is ruined. Yeah, right. Everybody flies off into space. So Earth is a transformer, but we can never see that

because it will destroy everything. Yes, I think what somebody said, somebody said to somebody, people want Unicron. Just make what's coming to Earth Unicron. Yeah, I know. Why do we need Cybertron twice? This already happened. This is the same plot as three, right? It's the same plot as three. Anyway, back to Earth Unicron. Yeah, I know. Why do we need Cybertron twice? This already happened.

This is the same plot as three, right? It's the same plot as three. Anyway, back to the stick. Merlin's magic stick, there's no reason for it to exist. Like, in the first movie, I don't remember all the MacGuffins of the other movies, but in the first one, there's the AllSpark, right? And if you have the AllSpark, you can make new Transformers. And if the AllSpark is destroyed, you can't make make any new transformers so there's a point to it existing yes but this

merlin staff doesn't do anything like if it shot lasers or it healed the sick or it made transformers or whatever then there was a reason to keep it around yeah but the the knights are like we like humans and we want them to stick around and this stick will destroy their planet, so let's blow it up. Let's just break it in half. Clearly the villain doesn't have the technology to build her own. Otherwise she would have done it. Yeah. So why have it around?

Also, is it such a bad thing if the villain destroys Unicron? Yeah, good point. Because he's no good, is he? I guess. He's bad news. No, I think they just want... Again, I think somebody just said to a producer, people unicron and they were like what's unicron and they went it's a big planet transformer and they went let's make it earth you know i don't think

they'll ever reference it again you're probably right even though the earth has giant fucking horns sticking out forever yeah but also you could have got more people in if you said there is a planet in this movie that turns into a man yeah right you that everybody would have come to that except they didn't they really dropped the ball i reckon if they bring unicron back for like for the next movie what will happen is the horns will go back in and then he'll come out of the ocean or something yeah and he'll be big but he won't be planet sized yeah yeah i guess that's fine i guess it's fine, I guess. Well, he's not as big as most planets, is he? Yeah.

Is that... I don't really remember. No, he's big enough. It's like his moon size. Yeah, like a moon. Or maybe a bit bigger, yeah. But I think this movie, like, it's bad, but I think if you... Oh, you're taking a stand there.

I am. It's a bad movie. No, but if you enjoy these movies, I think a lot of people who like these Michael Bay movies, it's bad by those standards. Oh, yeah. And people are turning on it because it's not even as good as the other ones. Yeah, this is the worst one. I think it absolutely is the worst one.

It's not as weird and leering as a lot of the other ones. Right, right, yeah. We should mention that. Okay, so there's a girl in this who's basically Rey from Star Wars. Yeah. Except she's 14. Except she's 14. And she's kind of living with Transformers

and she's helping Transformers and her only family is a Transformer which dies. And then she's like, who's left? You're other Transformer. You've got two. You've got two, exactly. You've got a C-3PO or a BB-8.

You've got something like that. Exactly. It's clearly like just a rip-off of Star Wars. But she's in the movie for the first 20 minutes and then she disappears. Again, the first bit, because the whole thing is that the staff is in England that we need to get to.

So Mark Wahlberg has to get to England. But he doesn't. No. Because you could have just had the female character, whose name I cannot recall. Yeah. She's Peter Quill's mum. Oh, yeah, she is too. Yeah. But you could... I actually thought she was okay in recall. Yeah. She's Peter Quill's mum. Oh, yeah, she is too.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But you could... I actually thought she was okay in this. Yeah, she's good. I mean, she's clearly... They've gone just Megan Fox-er. Yeah, yeah.

Because she's got the Megan Fox look. Yeah, exactly. But this is something I didn't... Somebody pointed this out to me recently, like this week. Megan Fox's character in those movies is called Michaela Baines. Right. In a movie directed by Michael Bay. It's him as a girl.

Weird, right? Well, Mark Wahlberg dresses and has the hair of Michael Bay. Michael Bay, right. He's got the trucker's cap and the sunglasses. Yeah. Or the Tom Cruise Mission Impossible 2 hair. Yeah, right. What's also... So, yeah,

there is that opening sequence where it's a dystopian present day but it's not. Yeah, right. It's only one, but... Only in the junkyard where he lives. Yeah.

Only that very small... And Chicago. Yeah, right. Or whatever. Because I can't remember because they're against the Transformers again but I can't remember

how Transformers 4 ended. Didn't it end with the Autobots saving everybody? Yeah, and Optimus Prime flew into space and Mark Wahlberg cried. Yeah, right. And I remember us saying at the time, we will never see the Dinobots again. Yeah, we did say that, yeah.

We do, but to no effect. But there's also little baby Dinobots for no reason. They're never explained. Do they grow? Yeah, I don't know. I guess. Yeah. But there is, I know you turned it down to be a bloody bit of a wink and a nudge

because we got your favourite thing in the Transformers movies, which is just Transformers roughhousing. Yeah. So, yeah, let's talk about the characters of Transformers 5. Transfivermers. Yep. There aren't any. No. There's one. there aren't any. No.

There's one. There's Anthony Hopkins who seems to be enjoying himself. Yeah. Yeah. But I think they gave him a million bucks to just prance about. Be British. Yeah, be British. But again, one of the criticisms I've had of these movies is that these, there are the transformers,

uh, thousands or possibly millions of years old, but they all act like children. Yeah. But they're always vaguely threatened each other and tussling. Yeah. But what I, I think I've refined,

I don't think that's correct. What I, what is, what, what it actually is, is that every character, nobody, no,

no character in any of these movies acts like an actual human being including any of the human beings that's right none of the when you watch one of these movies the reason they're so off-putting in my mind is and the reason my head hurts after i've watched all these movies is because none of these characters feel like they exist outside of the scenes that they're in like they always you know It's always like they're just waiting around. Like when we go to this, there's a scene early on in the junkyard and Mark Wahlberg shows up at the junkyard and then the three Autobots

that aren't Bumblebee and Optimus Prime, they just pop out of three different points in the junkyard and they're like, hey, look at me. Here's my characteristics. Like what were they doing before that? They just must have been sitting under piles of junk,

motionless and silent. Yes, that's right. Until they have to interact with another character in the plot, at which point they, like, everybody's just silent and doesn't do anything and stays out of the way until another character comes along they have to interact with. And then they just yell exposition at each other and around each other it's like a 20 minute until there's a wacky yeah until there's a fight or like a scene change oh god so what this

movie could have done with is instead of this where they just like hey it's me and i'm a i'm an army guy oh i've dropped a grenade it's gone off kind of thing instead of that there should have been a scene in the junkyard where the three other Autobots are sitting down with each other and they are saying, I don't think Bumblebee is doing all right as a leader. I think maybe we should talk to him about it. Maybe we can have a vote to see if another person's a leader, you know, blah, blah, blah.

But instead, what we get, it's always like... Also, the leader of what? Yeah. What we get is like Bumblebee will be standing there and another Autobot will just run at him and go, you'll never be as good a leader as Prime. And then they'll scuffle. They'll just scuffle with each other.

Not seriously. It's just a tussle. Yeah, no good. Did you notice there was a moment where it got a little bit creepy with that girl and then they pulled right back? No. Like, you know, there's like that boy with glasses is following around the girl and he's like, she's beautiful. know there's there's like that that boy with

glasses is falling around oh yeah this is beautiful who is she i want to marry her that's probably also my boyfriend yeah you're my girlfriend or whatever and i was like oh this isn't no don't don't do this again but they to be to it to his credit he pulls right back from that like i thought that was gonna get real weird like it did in the last one. Oh, God. And I know... I think this movie also has the problem. We talked about this directly after we came out of it. In that chase sequence,

it's very unclear what Transformers are in it. Yeah, all right. And also, which of the cars are Transformers? Okay, so let's go through the sequence. All right. So, everybody has to get to England. Yep. And it takes a really long time.

And then everybody has to go to Sir Anthony Hopkins Castle because we all want to be bored to death by exposition. That's a long say. So the people that get to the castle are Bumblebee. Well, they're humans, but who cares? Bumblebee. Yep. Hotrod, who's the new Transformer in this one. French. Yep. the people that get to the castle are bumblebee all the humans but who cares yeah bumblebee yep hot rod who's the new transformer in this one french yep and then there is a third transformer who's like a world war one tank yeah and he transforms into like a dottery old transformer

who's like oh i'm falling over down i go that's my personality right and there's a sec there's for a minute there it also seems like anthony hopkins has dementia as well yes he's very confused for a minute about years and dates bumblebee or but then it's never referred to no but so i think maybe they were mucking around and they're like how about we do this and then they decided against it but they're like this take was funny so let's put it in doesn't matter it makes no sense anyway they go in we're bored to death by exposition for a bit yeah and then the army shows up to attack the transformers and get him or what have you yes and they're like let's get out of here so it cuts to the front of the castle again and we've got the humans who cares we've got bumblebee yep we've got hot rod and a third transformer who isn't the dementia riddle

transformer from before it's aer. Is it definitely a different Transformer? It's definitely... Is that the car that he's in? Well, see, the thing, because it's a different... I don't know if that is a Transformer. I think that might just be a car. That's the thing, because it's a silver Transformer and he's different from the Dementia one.

He looks different. And then... He's not introduced. We don't hear his name or anything like that. it cuts away we hear transforming noises right and then it cuts to a chase sequence where we've got bumblebee in car form hot rodding car form and then anthony hopkins with the cog man with the cog oh yeah that's right in an aston like a silver aston man but we don't he's okay so there's also a character called Cogman. I shouldn't have said that because I'm just...

This is tangents within tangents. But there's a character called Cogman who is a human-sized robot. Yep. Oh, that's right. There's a scene during the exposition. His personality is that he's a lunatic. Yes. He's some sort of murderous lunatic.

Yeah. Because there's a scene where Mark Wahlberg appears to impugn the honour of the female character and then Cogman leaps the room to choke him to death. It makes no sense. Anyway, so then they're driving along. Anthony Hopkins and Cogman are driving the Aston Martin. Yeah. They drive it for a while and then they go, oh, we have to abandon this car.

Then they go to another car, which is a red McLaren. Yes. And then they drive that for a while and then they go, oh, we have to abandon this car. Then they go to another car, which is a red McLaren, right? And then they drive that for a while and then Cogman has to leave and then Anthony Hopkins gets in another car, which I didn't recognise, but I looked it up later. It's some sort of self-driving Chinese concept car. He changes cars three times. Three times. Does he?

I think what happened is all these car companies just said can you put our cars in and they went and they just went but but so i looked it up hang on i'll find so i went to the the the transformers wiki page which is a mistake obviously that is hang on i'll find it bloody bloody find it which is being continuously updated as people learn like trying to figure out trying to figure out a continuous battle to determine what's out anyway so this this is what wikipedia says about this whole sequence right okay so the first bit the aston martin bit right and i think this is wrong but it says cog man is a polite sociopathic true human-sized headmaster with a larger robot body that transforms into an aston

martin db11 wrong that's what it says yeah but so that would imply i don't think he transformed into anything no he doesn't and why would he look like that and then transform into it so what that implies first of all if that's true they never say that's what he is no and they never show him because what a headmaster is, is he would transform into the head of a larger Transformer than that Transformer would transform into the Aston Martin. Yes. Because that's what it does in the comic books.

So somebody's done some original research. Okay. But we never see him do that. And also, he's driving the car. Yes, that's right. He's not part of it. He's not part of the car. What is the stealth advantage of turning into the head of a transformer and then transforming into the car

and then you're driving the car there's no right yeah but then they go to a submarine oh wait what i think happened here's here's the thing here's what i think happened is they put it i think the idea was originally that anthony Anthony Hopkins just has three cars. And then I think what happened is Aston Martin emails them and says, hey, can you make our car a Transformer? We'll give you another million bucks. And they went, all right, he's this guy. And they just spent an afternoon drawing a new Transformer.

Just a plug-in. Yeah, right, just plugged it in. I think that's how they did it. And because they didn't show the actual transformation, so they only had the robot model and the car. Second point of the car. Yeah. Second point. Okay, I'm ready. The second point of the chase is they get in a McLaren, right?

Which is a British car. They're driving it in Britain in a British car chase. It's an American one. Yeah. The steering wheel's on the wrong side. So they just filmed Anthony Hopkins in America. Yeah. Get it right.

Look, I always thought these movies were car nuts. Yeah. Which I'm not, but I sort of know a little bit about them. So I'm like, wouldn't you get it right? You think you would, yeah. You think you'd get it right. Look, I always thought these movies were car nuts. Yeah. Which I'm not, but I sort of know a little bit about them. So I'm like, wouldn't you get it right? You think you would, yeah. You think you'd get it right. Yeah, because it seemed like that was shot in England. It seemed like they actually went to England.

So it's weird that they would have flown over an American car to do this. Anyway, it was very confusing, and I think this is wrong. Yeah, probably. We'll check in tomorrow and see what it says. See what it says, yeah. Also, they get in a submarine, which they say is either a transformer or a transformer transport, even though it doesn't transform, and it's also not big enough to put a transformer in it.

Because Bumblebee has to hang off the side. It makes no fucking sense. I didn't actually hate Cogman. I was like, he's whatever. He's not like a weird stereotype. He is a stereotype, but he's not like an offensive stereotype. Right, sure. Oh, God.

Also, Mark Wahlberg is on the run from the police. Yes. Even though the local sheriff in his town, who he calls Chief, and he's like, that's kind of racist. But if you say that's kind of racist, then you're hanging a lantern on it. It's fine. You can say whatever you want. Totally right.

He knows where he is. Also, he steals that guy's car yeah why you're in you're in a junkyard yeah you've got so many cars so many cars yeah again that whole 40 the first 40 minutes is completely unnecessary it's weird because people seem to know even though he's on the run a lot of people seem to know where he is yeah right i don't know man yeah here's what i'm saying you could keep you could keep the car chases you can keep the military stuff you can keep the submarine you can even keep that they're aliens it would still work as this this move this hypothetical i think it is okay so optimus prime right yes uh he gets turned evil pretty early on because he goes to find his creator it He's just one of them.

Yeah, it's a largely unoccupied Cybertron, isn't it? Yeah, it is, with grass on it. Anyway, that's neither here nor there, I guess. And then he spends a lot of the movie telling people that he's Optimus Prime or he's Nemesis Prime. And then at the very end, when he turns good or whatever, I feel like it's nearly the exact same speech from the end of the first movie where he goes,

Autobots, this is our new home and this is where we're going to live. You've been living there for like fucking 10 years. Yeah, right. Who are you talking to? Right. What is happening? Yeah.

And there's also the bit where he runs in, like he doesn't show up for like an hour, maybe two. Yeah, right. And then he runs in and he steals the staff and people look... Mark Wahlberg's like, hey man, this isn't you

and then bumblebee kind of like we fight fighting so then they just somehow they they start tumbling around or whatever on the outside of the the ship because they're in an underground ship no no because they're above stone hedge because they came out of the water oh yeah that's right yeah in a ship and then the other knights show up and beat the shit out of him. And they're like, how dare you betray us? Where were you when he walked into the room where you were and just took it? None of you stopped him. Yeah, right.

And then he's just on his knees going, what did I do? And they're just kicking him in the head. Yeah. And then Mark Wahlberg shows up and saves the day. He did the one thing that he had to do. He did the one thing. Also, I guess that sword is magic in the sense that- It's Excalibur, in the sense that yeah i guess so but they're all excalibur because they all have them yeah was that arthur's or was it a transformers i don't know but he can stop the full weight of a

transformer with it yeah you can just hold it out and it and it does the work for him i i don't i don't know man i don't know this is a lot of this movie is a lot of tangents here's the thing that I've discovered about this movie because I've talked to

a couple of people about it recently is that anytime you try to criticise something there's another criticism within the criticism so you keep going

back and forth you just get weighed down by also why is Megatron back why is he back in his original form? because

well he's sort of original form but yeah in the last movie he was Galvatron and he had a big hole in his chest and he was

he was put into a transformium drone that would transform into little cubes but he's a regular transformer again he's a regular transformer

unexplained unexplained I guess maybe he didn't like being Galvatron because the humans made him or whatever but how did he

what about the soul? Was that ever... But that's the thing. He had no spark. So how could he transfer into another body? Where'd the body come from? Well, I guess they can change from cars to other cars. So I guess they can change from...

Oh, yeah. Can we get back to this? Okay. Nobody trans... Again, like I said, if I was... If I went back to my eight-year-old self and I said, hey, when you grow up, there's going to be live action Transformers movies, I would have been like, wow. And then I'd I said, hey, when you grow up, there's going to be live-action Transformers movies, I would have been like, wow!

And then I'd be like, but a lot of the transforming takes place off-screen. I'd be like, why? That's all you want to say. Optimus Prime transforms once in this movie into a truck. It's off-screen. That's true! Yeah. Why?

It's almost like he's too old now, so he put something in his contract that says he doesn't have to transform anymore. They just got a stunt truck. Yeah, like Daniel Craig doesn't run in James Bond movies anymore. Oh, my God. There's some... I don't... Okay, what about this?

Why are they not transforming? I don't understand. That's the whole bit. Like, the first... They're all bad, but at least the first one, you know, when Optimus Prime shows up and he there's this like a 20 second sequence and all the bits and whatever yeah at least he transforms tad hamilton's in this it's like they did a they did a yeah he is oh he's so he's so golden and his hair's so tall but it's like they

they did market research and they went, you know what people don't like about these Transformers movies is the transforming. Yeah. Who were they talking to? That's all people like. All people want to see is Transformers. Even though you get sick of it,

and the last movie was just an hour of robots smashing each other, that's better than this, which is nothing. They go into a room with a staff and the the room tips then it's then it's zero g and also one of them has a slow motion gun or something oh yeah hot rod has a time as a time distortion gun he is hot rod in name only and look i'm not a stickler for transformers law or anything but they take so much of it and just get it wrong yeah like way wrong he's not even a not even a hot rod. Hot rod has a time distortion. He's not a hot rod, is he? Just to be clear.

No, he's a, he's a, initially he's a citron. Yeah. Cause he's French. Yes. Like a, like a. But also they say you're not French. I guess none of them are anything. Exactly.

He's not French. He just has the accent. He can't shake it for some reason. And then he's a Lamborghini, which is Italian. It's not a hot rod. Yeah. Well, I guess bumblebee isn't a bug either. No, exactly.

Right. Anyway, but he's not called bug, which is Italian. It's not a hot rod. Yeah, well, I guess Bumblebee isn't a bug either. No, exactly right. But anyway, but he's not called Bug. No, exactly, yeah. So Bumblebee now has an ability to break into pieces and reassemble himself. I like that. For no reason. I thought that was all right.

I think Michael Bay saw an Iron Man movie and went, oh, Iron Man, so you can break into bits and fly around. Why can't we have a Transformer do that? Have Bumblebee do that. And one of his CG guys is like, oh, like oh fine yeah i guess it's not too i guess he's in pieces anyway in the yeah in the in the in the computer so i guess i can just throw him around yeah that's fine why don't you do that yeah oh you know what i read maybe there was maybe somebody saw an error like

michael bay was watching a the dailies or like the the animation dailies and there was an error and bumblebee just broke into pieces the character model and just went, have it do that. That's fine. Yeah, so he uses it once and never again. No. Also, he doesn't need to do it because he's a giant robot. Exactly.

He can just come in and just smash everybody. He can shoot everybody from a mile away because he's got a laser gun. That's right. Also, Bumblebee gets his voice back and Optimus Prime says to him, I haven't heard you use your voice since back on Cybertron, except for 10 years ago when you used it at the end of the first movie. And also, it's established at the start of that movie that his voice box is recently damaged. So, he was speaking just before and just after that.

They don't even know their own continuity. Also, in this current movie, Mark Wahlberg puts a new voice box in him. Yes. And he talks like a lady, and it's very funny because that's very funny. And then he tears the voice box out and he throws it away. And at the end of the movie, he talks. Yes. Did he get a new one?

Could he always? Could he always? But also, it's kind of implied in 2 that he can talk, but he chooses not to. Yeah. I said last week that I normally didn't understand what he was doing because he speaks not to. Yeah. I said last week that I normally didn't understand what he was doing because he speaks in like clips. Yeah, right.

But I kind of understood him in this for most of it. Well, he said sting like a bee which is his new catchphrase. Yeah, it's very good. You looking forward to the Bumblebee spinoff next year? Yeah, kind of.

I think... Michael Bay's not doing it right. And this is what I feared would happen. Well, not feared. I don't really care. Would happen. They've finally driven it into the ground as Michael

Bay's leaving so now they're going to spend time trying to get this franchise back on track yeah except you've you've cornered yourself in terms of continuity because

Unicron is the earth and Bumblebee can talk and and Transformers were dinosaurs with people and humans and whatever and now they're going to make

sense of this mess in future movies yeah right do franchise that people have dwindling interest in correct they've got to make sense of this mess in future movies in a franchise that people have dwindling interest in. Correct. They've really fucked it up. Ta-da!

You finally did it. Bumblebee in World War II is pretty good though, isn't it? Yeah, for that three seconds we saw it. Yeah, pretty great. Yeah, and you know, I kind of, I don't mind the character of Bumblebee,

like this version of it. It's okay and I guess I'll see a movie set in the 80s with him, I guess. I feel I have more bad stuff to say about this movie, but what do I have? I could do some stuff, some letters that we got, some tweets while you're thinking about it. Why do some of them have dementia and some don't?

Like Grimlock is a dinosaur-aged Transformer, and yet there's the World War I one who, maybe he is older, has also dementia. Yeah, right. Has more dementia. Also, there was one from Part 2 who was a jet, who was like,

I used to turn into a wheel in the Stone Age. That's right. But does he have dementia or is he just falling apart? Don't know. I don't know. I guess if you get hit in the head enough,

you have dementia. I guess that's the kind of... Also, Megatron will be back because he just got kicked off the ship. That's right yeah. And you mentioned it before the whole crux of this movie

the selling point is that it's good guy against good guy. Optimus Prime's turned evil. It's three minutes. It's maybe three minutes. God. Alright here's some letters. It's from Luke Crane.

Transformers 5 sure wasn't sure was a movie wasn't it? A shit movie. Yeah. God. All right, here's some letters. It's from Luke Crane. Transformers 5 sure was a movie, wasn't it? A shit movie. Nice. Got him. This is from John. Did you guys notice the ridiculous constant aspect ratio switching? Yes. And so much cussing.

Shia LaBeouf too. The aspect thing was really jarring. Was that just me? I mentioned that in my review because no it's not sequences it's during dialogue yeah totally right and often it will be like it'll show mark walberg and then it'll be like the girl who's in the stripper dress which they say you're in a stripper dress you know what i liked in this movie the mums all the british mums having a bit of a chat yeah that was fun and see that's the thing. The British mums would have worked in a movie about a woman with a thing and she's descended

a mill and she's got to do the magic stuff. You have the mums and the mums are like, ooh, why don't you just get a man? Blah, blah, blah. Right? That's fun with the mums. Would you watch a movie called British Mums? Yes. Absolutely.

Yeah. Yeah. Notice how they kind of, well, we talked about last week whether Shia LaBeouf would turn up or whether he's a draw. I guess not because he's used to a comedic effect because they try and make him kind of sleek and sexy and tan in the transformers movies but in this one the picture of him he's just a goof he's got he's got kramer head he's just like yeah totally yeah oh god and there was a lot of swearing in this like for a kid's movie there was a lot of like you shithead you piece of shit you garbage like i don't know this is a movie i feel for divorced dads to take their kids to

because mark walberg's the divorced dad he's the divorced dad he's the divorce she died yeah no but that's not the point the point is you see yourself as the you're the divorced dad he's a he's a dude and he's he's on his own he's just trying But he's got a daughter, but he's also meeting a hot lady. Also, why can't he talk on the phone? Because they'll trace the call or something. But they could trace it anyway. Why do they need his voice to trace it? Exactly.

Surely if they know her voice, surely if they know his voice, they know her voice. Also, it could be when he's calling, and she presumes it's him. It could be just some creepy frat boy. Yeah, probably a pervert. Just listening to it, like, bear a Felix. Hey, are you still 17 17 like in the last movie oh god that's from jesse i have a question after seeing the last night did michael bay make walbert grow his hair to make him look more like him yeah yeah i would say almost certainly

uh some joshua just saw the new transformers film i wish my eyes would transform into trucks and drive my head to a better movie. That's very good. Just stop. James Stanley said, I enjoyed the last few movies, but I think Michael Bay's broken me as a Transformers fan. Yeah, fair enough. The female lead character, the actor's name is Laura

Haddock, which I feel is very British. And her character's name is Vivian Wembley, which I feel is even British. And her character's name is Vivian Wembley, which I feel is even more British. Wow, that's nuts. This is from Tom. With a Transformers episode soon, will we get another Starscream impersonation contest?

Do you want to do that? You know what's good? Starscream's head? Starscream's head is in this, and I actually recognised it. I went, oh, I remember what he looks like Megatron picks the head up and goes oh Starscream

my treacherous friend he's not treacherous in the movies he's very loyal in the movies he's only treacherous in the cartoon yeah he doesn't

I don't think he does betray him does he yeah no exactly but all the Decepticons are snivelling cowards anyway that's true yeah oh whatever

oh also I forgot another good... The best scene in this movie, I feel, is the conversation between... So it's the conversation between Anthony Hopkins and John Turturro on the phone. On the phone. On the phone. Is that when you turn to me and be like,

two Oscar winning actors. Well, they're not. So Anthony Hopkins is an Oscar winner and he's been knighted for his services to acting. And John taturo has won an emmy and he's like an indie movie like darling and superstar yeah and they were relegated to a scene where they have a conversation on the phone they probably weren't even there well it's weird that john taturo is in this movie because he's just in cuba and he's like i want to be a knight like you, Anthony Hopkins. Yeah, right. Why? You're in Cuba. You don't even turn up again.

You don't even do the bit where you're standing under a Transformers testicles and you're doing whatever happened in part two. Oh, God. Yeah, great. Do you think in a better franchise if there was a John Turturro cameo like that? You know, like Captain America shows up in Thor The Dark World. Yeah, right. That's a nice little surprise.

But for this, it was just, I like's a nice little surprise but for this it was just I like John Turturro a lot but it was just a lot of who cares? Yes. Who cares about any of this? God, I really didn't like it. I don't know if that's

that's I, yeah, I it wasn't as creepy though as the other as the last one to its credit. Oh yeah, totally. You pulled back on that.

Anything else? Ah, Steve Buscemi's in this movie. Yeah, he's the junk robot. He's a junk dealer who, again, can just acquire junk and then show up at a junkyard in full view of the whole world. Again, nobody says anything. Nobody says anything. Yeah.

Okay, also. Oh, here we go. When they decide to stay behind and try and get the staff or stop the staff. Yes. Laura Haddock. Yes. Vivian Wembley Wexley, whatever her name is.

They're going to parachute off Cybertron. But she goes, no, I'm going to go. I'm going to get the staff. She throws off her parachute. And then Mark Wahlberg also throws off his parachute. You can still wear it. It's a backpack. What are you doing?

You're probably going to get thrown off this platform at some point. Yeah. Anyway, I think that's it. Is that it? That's pretty much it. What else? Oh, also, Decepticon characters, one of them turns into... We're talking about the confusing...

I just remembered it. Talking about all the confusing character models. One of them turns into the same kind of truck Optimus Prime is, except he's green. And for a lot of the movie, I'm like, is that Megatron? I didn't even notice. Because he turns into a truck in the last one. No, he's a jet. Yeah, now he's a jet.

It's fine. Got a sword. Yeah, he's got a sword. I can't believe they negotiate with him, with Megatron. Yeah, right? Insane. Madness. God.

Yeah. Anyway, this is a big worst movie ever for me. Yeah, it is. This is. It's true. This is. Yeah. Yeah. I also think it's one is... It's true. This is... Yeah. Yeah.

I also think it's one of the worst ones because it's somehow more boring. I think it's one of the... I think it's the worst... It may not be worse than the other ones. It is. But it's more that... It's exponentially worse

because it's the same thing as all the other ones. Yes, yes. Nobody's even attempted to make it better slightly. No. No lessons were learnt. I don't know if it's Michael Bay doesn't read reviews or he doesn't care. That does seem kind of like him.

It's very possible. Or maybe it's also possible that he does read reviews and he's like, no, I'm correct and I don't care. Or it's also entirely possible that he knows these movies are garbage and, again, he doesn't care. Or he thinks they're great because every scene is filled with shrapnel yeah and that's what he thinks is good yep could be that could be that could be any all those things any number of things anyway so he's finally he's finally sunk the ship and he's out yeah he's he's gone this is a review from the verge okay

dot com i i i'm gonna go and watch a whole lot of reviews and read because i haven't touched any because i didn't want to didn't want to double up on things the film this this says the film's climax is a thoroughly enjoyable utterly ridiculous action sprint that's predictable but entertaining no you burned all your credibility the verge you were so wrong nothing about that is correct god it felt long, didn't it? It did, but it wasn't. Yeah, it was one of the shorter ones. Yeah.

Yeah, that's never good, is it? But there was a point where you turned to me and you went, there's half an hour left in this. Yeah, what I did during the movie is I got my ticket stub out and I looked at the runtime and I looked at my watch and I went, oh, still going, isn't it? Got a lot more plot to this. Why? Wrap it up. Well, they going, isn't it? Got a lot more plot to this. Why? Wrap it up.

Well, they did, didn't they? Yep. Forever. Yep. Yep. That's what we're reading. Yeah, that's what we're going to read. I'm doing the thing.

What are we reading today? Did you read it? Is there something better? Literally anything would be better at this point. Again, I don't know if you recall, I read My Ticket Stub. That was quite entertaining compared to the movie that I'm watching. But we both started watching Glow, right? Yeah.

Have you finished it? No, I'm like two or three in. I really like it. It's very good. So Alison Brie is like a, she's down on her luck. She's just trying to get through in the workaday world. It's very good. Alison Brie is like a... She's down on her luck. She's just trying to get through in the workaday world. Of the 80s.

Of the 80s. But then she answers a casting call for a TV show. To be a wrestling. To be a wrestling lady. Yeah. And it's a show about friendship. How far are you in? I'm like two and a bit.

It's fun. I like it a lot. And grim. And Mark Maron's in it. Mark Maron's in it. I enjoy him two and a bit. It's fun. I like it a lot. And grim. And Mark Maron's in it. Mark Maron's in it. I enjoy him in things. Yeah, he's great. He plays a good kind of burnout kind of dude, doesn't he?

I haven't finished American Gods yet. Have you finished American Gods? No, I've only watched the first one. But I've heard from people who have finished it that it's good. Oh, it's good. Yeah, I'll get round to it. I've got to list Mason. Oh, yes.

But what I did read this week was Darth Vader issue number two. Oh, yes. I'm enjoying that Darth Vader comic comic it delves into the backstory it picks up directly after he gets in his armor okay and he has to go and get a kyber crystal for his new lightsaber and it's revealed it's like a slight spoiler alert for the comic um that the end that the person is going to get it from is this jedi who's been in hiding for decades and all he's been doing, this Jedi, is training to fight. Oh, right. So, yeah, I'm really looking forward to issue three. Okay.

But who's he been fighting? One of those wooden dummies? Good question. If he's doing that with a lightsaber, he's gone through a lot of wooden dummies. Yeah, he would be, wouldn't he? Yeah. I don't know.

Yeah, so maybe he's not that good. Yeah. Yeah. But he's very muscular, if that counts for anything. Does there need to be a storyline where Darth Vader gets the kyber crystal for his lightsaber? Does there need to be anything? No. Yeah. But he's very muscular, if that counts for anything. Does there need to be a storyline where Darth Vader gets the kyber crystal for his lightsaber? Does there need to be anything?

No. Yeah. No, not necessarily, no. There's no need for anything. No, but I think that's an interesting way. I don't know, because we don't know where his lightsaber came from. And I think there is an interesting story being built around it. And I do like the idea that every lightsaber is different

and every person has a story behind. Yeah. Because it's part of their training as to... I guess that makes sense. It's part of their journey, Mason. Like all of our journeys. I think that the Emperor would just give him one. Well, they have that conversation.

It's like, I could give you one, but to what end? It'd be easy. Yeah, exactly. You don't learn anything. You could start killing people real early. I could give an oscar mason yeah i could but i you'd rather i spent 10 years as a shoe i understand that's right yeah no i get it yeah all right uh anything else now that uh no it's just it i've just you know what i've been doing i've just been replaying the events of transformers 5 in my mind oh that's mind that's not healthy real bad yeah yeah what I've done

the classic one was letters oh letters we love you some letters they're only a take away I know they're here right now

we're gonna do letters now that you mention it there was no Lincoln Park on this I thought every Transformers movie was legally required to end with... I don't even know if that's true. ...Linkin Park.

Yeah. It feels like it is, though, doesn't it? I feel like I'm so sick of talking about them. Even though we've only done two, well, I guess three episodes because we did another one and we talked about the other in the series. I'm sick of them. Yeah, right. I'm tired.

I feel burnt out from doing that. They're exhausting movies. That's what I'm talking about. The build-up of these... It's just like a build-up of... How is it worse than I thought it was going to be? And I thought it was going to be bad. When you watch these movies,

it's like a build-up of toxins in your bloodstream. You start out and you're like, oh, I wouldn't mind seeing one of these again, I guess. I'm sure it'll be bad, but maybe it'll be fun. And then you're just brought down by the terribleness by the end. Yeah. Because nobody in these movies is real. Anyway, letters.

Yeah. I should quickly mention we did another Caravan of Garbage episode last week. It's, what is it? It's a bloody, it was a really bad Transformers game. From the NES from back in the day. And we've got a couple of Spider-Man games coming up this week on the Super Nintendo Mega Drive. I can't remember. But I'll try and get that up on the Patreon early

Ben's editing that one so as soon as it is I'll throw that up there but if not that will be up Tuesday yeah so those games

we played are a bit more fun than the previous one which might not make for as good a video necessarily but no we'll see that's from Camille

unless you want to do a letter first if you want to reach us here on Twitter you can hashtag weeklyplanetpod and we'll grab. That's from Camille. Unless you want to do a letter first. No, you go ahead. If you want to reach us here on Twitter, you can hashtag WeeklyPlanetPod, and we'll grab a couple out of the ether. Yeah, or you can just email weeklyplanetpod at gmail.com. Two options. Two options. Two options.

Is the hype will be slash still the same for Justice League compared to Avengers? For me, it is. Yeah? Yeah, I think so. I feel like the hype... Wait, do you mean Avengers 3? No, I think he means the original Avengers. For me it is. Yeah? Yeah, I think so. I feel like the hype... Do you mean Avengers 3? No, I think they meant like... I think he means the original Avengers.

Oh. Because I remember there was a big build up to that, but I feel like because not all the decent movies have been great... I think there's more now. Because they haven't been great, so there's an expectation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I think there was more of a positive looking forward to the Avengers than there was just Yeah, right.

Sure, sure, yeah. I think people were very excited to see the Avengers. Yeah. But I think because there's been several bad ones and a really good one and now there's been reshoots and a second director's been brought on. Yeah. I think people are like, this has got to be good

and I've got to see it opening day so I know for myself. This is you talking, isn't it? Yeah, I think this is going to be good and I've got to see it opening day. So I know for myself. This is you talking, isn't it? Yeah. I think this is going to be, yeah. I think this is going to be a big opening. Yeah. You're probably right. It's going to be a butt.

It's a butthole. That's the big opening. Good joke. Yeah. Good. Good joke. Well done. Thank you.

Yeah. No, I, I feel like the, the anticipation for this, I don't really remember, but I remember in 2012, I feel like the Avengers off the back of the movies that came up like it came to it and that coming together and because we'd never seen a superhero team-up movie like that yeah except probably league of extraordinary gentlemen coming together of great comic book characters all my childhood heroes alan quatermain tom sawyer i was gonna say the guy from one tree hill but it's a different guy. It's another him. He looks like him. Yeah, absolutely.

Richard Roxburgh. A British man. Yes. La Femme Nikita woman, whose name I can't remember. Remember her? Sort of. Yeah, good. No, I feel like the hype for Avengers was bigger. Or the positivity, I should say. Yeah, sure.

Everybody's obviously still looking forward to it but it's been you've got to think also it's been another five years since the Avengers so we've had we've seen a lot of stuff

since then exactly yeah but no I still think people still do well even if it's not good do you want to do your letter or do you want me to do my tweet

okay so this is from Ruben French on the email okay is it a scoop is it a hot scoop it's from New York it's not

hot scoop or poop or whatever we said what was it again look it's a scoop if I had Okay. Is it a scoop? Is it a hot scoop? It's from New York. It's not... Hot scoop or poop or whatever we said. What was it again? Look, it's a scoop. If I had to choose, it's a scoop. Okay then. So...

A hot scoop of poop. So based on that, it seems Warner Brothers have decided to... He says, it seems Warner Brothers have decided to take advantage of the talent Marvel

missed out on by hiring Joss Whedon. Yeah. So it got me thinking, what DC property would you like to see Edgar Wright direct? Because I read an article this week.

Oh, yeah. Where Edgar Wright, he went on various news outlets and a podcast. Yeah. And he basically said, and we were talking earlier about how big movie studios, they don't want a director, they want a monkey.

Gun for hire. They want a gun for hire trained monkey kind of thing. And so he recently spoke about Ant-Man. And he basically said, you know, they wanted... They wanted to do their own draft. Yeah, they wanted to... He wanted to make a Marvel movie. They didn't want to make an Edgar Wright movie kind of thing.

Yeah. So do you think... It's all coming all headed. Do you think he said that because of the Lord and Miller thing? I think that's probably why it came up. He went, oh, well, why not? Let's say it. I'm really looking forward to Baby Driver.

Me too. He's trying to make this movie for years. Yeah. Apparently it's great too. Yeah, yeah. I don't want Edgar Wright to... I want Edgar Wright to just make whatever he wants. Okay.

You know? Yeah, okay. I mean, I wouldn't be upset if he made a DC movie, but if he did a Swamp Thing, it would probably be pretty good. Yeah, right. But yeah, what do you reckon? I guess we have to... What are his strengths, I guess?

I think he's really versatile. Yeah, right. I didn't know he could do fight sequences until this is the end, and then he did an amazing one. And apparently there's a really amazing... The world's end. The world's end, sorry.

There's a really amazing car chase in Baby Driver, even though he's never done one before. Right, okay. So I don't... I think his strength is... How does he do that then? Like, no, but I mean in the sense of like, if he's never done a fight, is he the one going down,

okay, the fight's going to, you're going to do this and this and this, or is he hiring somebody who's great at fight choreography and getting them to do it? Right, yeah. Is that his skill set? I don't know. I don't know, Mason.

Maybe we might ask him. Oh, we're going to find his hotel room when he comes to Melbourne and getting them to do it. Right, yeah. Is that his skill set? I don't know. I don't know, Mason. Maybe we might ask him. Oh! We're going to find his hotel room when he comes to Melbourne and then find him? Can you tell people that? There's a very, very loose chance that we might.

Don't say that. Okay. I'll cut all this out. No, you can't. Yeah, I don't know. Like, he's... Yeah, I guess he's versatile. Yeah.

He's bloody... And maybe he surrounds himself with people who know how to do this stuff I would like to see maybe a Hitman movie not not Agent 47 Hitman

but DC's Tommy Monaghan Hitman who was well he's a fun irreverent fellow yeah as we know he's a

you know he was a he was a Hitman that only killed bad guys who was bitten by a giant space bug and got x-ray vision and telepathy

so then he decided only to kill super bad guys oh very good yeah and is that great comic it's your favourite comic you always talk about yeah the one where we meet superman yeah oh man hang on let's message my mate limo okay cool apologies you're very welcome not to you to the listeners oh man you can die in a razor-filled ditch all right harry's razor-filled

ditch if you skip the ad you won't know the know the context of that amazing joke. Yes. No, so you think he'd be better at a more offbeat character than, say, a Superman. Yeah, exactly. And also, there's a lot more leeway, I think. Yeah, you can do whatever you want. Do whatever you want. Exactly. Give him some room to move. All right, I will.

And that character exists sort of underneath the existing DC Universe. Yeah. At one point, he has to literally go to the Justice League satellite to perv on Wonder Woman. He doesn't have to, but he does it anyway. He doesn't have to. But anyway, like... No one's making him. No, exactly.

But he exists in this grungy sub-superhero world kind of thing. So I think you could be anything... That character could have any storyline he wanted and it wouldn't have to impinge on the DC Universe whatsoever. Right, gotcha. You could even have him inadvertently save the world and nobody knows about it. He's one of those characters,

which I think they would totally love. I'm all for it. What about a Constantine, a John Constantine? Constantine would work also. He's good with fights, he's good with gunfights, he's good with weird supernatural stuff. Yep, sure. Why not a Constantine?

Why not Constantine? Why not whenever whoever drops out of Justice League Dark, give him Justice League Dark? Yes, why not? As from Clayton Anders, what are your thoughts on film series that never change directors, not whenever whoever drops out of justice league dark even justice league dark yes why not as from clayton anders what are your thoughts on film series that never changed directors transformers mad max lord of the rings etc um uh some of those are good aren't they yeah some of those like mad max's oh mad max dips but in three yeah one's not great i don't think we have enough information to make that decision like I think that the the industry

the world of franchises is still kind of youngish yeah I guess yeah so I I think

it's also kind of the luck of the draw right yeah well Lord of the Rings is great obviously but that turned into

The Hobbit didn't it when they started Transformers is garbage yeah so I think there is value in getting directors with different visions coming in

I mentioned this in that Han Solo video I did but what James Cameron did for Alien you know pretty good stuff am I right

yeah and there are examples of that but it also goes the other way where a director will come on board and then make a much worse version of what came before it

correct yes so I think you want somebody who knows what they're doing but with a different vision if you're going to change directors or

just do whatever yeah totally I don't have anything in me Mason just okay what are we doing next week

I don't know what are we doing next week I don't know yeah we've got a little bit of a gap before Spider-Man Homecoming comes out we could do a Spider-Man something or something else What are we doing next week? I don't know. What are we doing next week? I don't know. Yeah. We've got a little bit of a gap before Spider-Man Homecoming comes out. Yeah, we could do a Spider-Man something

or something else. We've done a few Spider-Man episodes, haven't we? Yeah. I think I might be able to see it this week. I don't know whether that's going to happen or not. Somebody's doing right, aren't they? Yeah, that's all right. Yeah.

Yeah, pretty good. We'll see. We'll see. Also, there's that Sony competition, which I'll link below. Oh, yeah. If you want to go to a Melbourne screening, they're giving away double passes. I'll link that. Oh, yeah. If you want to go to a Melbourne screening, they're giving away double passes.

I'll link that below. And the ultimate Spider-Man fan is going to put together the fan event. So it'll be a very exciting... Who's the ultimate Spider-Man fan? We don't know yet. Is it you, Mason? Oh, yeah. Is it you?

No, it would have been me in like the early 90s. Okay, good. Not you anymore? Not anymore, no. Oh, that's a shame. No. If only that man was here. What if I'd won and then I'd just shown up and I'm like the clone saga ruined it for me forever then i just push things over push the

popcorn machine over that would be your prerogative basically i know because i'm the big winner if you're the winner you can do that you can do whatever you want absolutely so yeah if you've got a topic suggestion send it through on uh on on twitter and we'll do it unless there is a movie out this week that I've forgotten about, then we'll do that. Sounds great. A movie we can't remember is coming out. That'll make some great fodder for an episode, I feel.

All right, what are we doing? What's the piece? You can find us on Weekly Planet Pod on Gmail and Facebook and Twitter and Bandcamp. Yep. Let's see, if you want to support the show, you can go to... Oh, wait, I'm not Mr. Sunday Movies. You're Mr. Sunday Movies.

You wish, Mason. I'm at Wikipedia Brown on Twitter. I'm Mr. Sunday Movies. If you want to support the show you can go to oh wait i'm mr i'm i'm not mr sunday movies you're wish mason i'm at wikipedia brown on twitter i'm mr sunday movies uh if you want to support the show you can go to patreon.com slash mr sunday movies yep you can throw in a buck a month you can go to our amazon affiliate link which is in the bloody episode description you click on that you buy something on amazon we're gonna cut somehow get a kick back i don't know how we don't know how it works. As soon as they figure out, we're going to get arrested. It's going to be good. Yeah, T-shirts and whatever.

PlanetBCasting.com has a whole lot of other great podcasts. You know what we could just say is just go to PlanetBCasting.com and it probably has all the information. Everything you need to know. Just go to my friends. I've got some bloody friends outside of podcasting. Is that true? Not really.

I've never met them. Yeah, you've never met them exactly yeah you can just see all the other shows on Planet Broadcasting you can bloody check out some tweets and some some good times stuff, links, merch yeah links, tweets, merch so you can sign up for the newsletter

which is great our friend Rob Collings who actually did an animation this week on Transformers Age of Extinction where we did a segment called A.U.R.M. of the Bit and we just named the whole bunch of stuff

that happened in Age of Extinction I've forgotten we did it but I'll link that below as well he put that up on his he's at the Weekly Planet on Twitter he is yeah and also at Rob Collings

oh this is confusing now thank you to the Brute and the Basilisk and Rackham for all our themes yep thanks to everybody who bloody listens and does a nice review yeah does a nice review exactly you don't have to you can And does a nice review. Yeah, does a nice review.

Exactly. Yeah, it's good. You don't have to. You can just give a nice review to your friends. You absolutely can. Just be like, give this a listen. It's all right. Give it a go.

Give a listen. Yeah. This guy's very poorly. He's been banned from Paramount screenings. And they'll go, I know what that's like. Temporarily banned, Mason. I know what that's like. I guess I'll listen to his show.

Look, if I'm the bad boy of YouTube criticism. Am I also banned? I don't know. Don't you get separate emails? I do, yeah. But still Look, if I'm the bad boy of YouTube criticism. Am I also banned? I don't know. Don't you get separate emails? I do, yeah, but still. Can I come to the next screening? Yeah, you can. Yeah, you can be my plus one.

Very good. All right. Thanks for listening, guys. Grab that jam, you guys. We'll see you next week. See you next week. Bye. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network.

Visit planetbcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. I mean, if you want. It's up to you. FX's The Veil explores the surprising and fraught relationship between two women who play a deadly game of truth and lies on the road from Istanbul to Paris and London. One woman has a secret, the other a mission to reveal it before thousands of lives are lost. FX's The Veil, starring Elizabeth Moss, is now streaming on Disney+.