The Weekly Planet - 39 Transformers Movies - Best & Worst

Episode Date: June 23, 2014

This week we discuss big new from the DC movie camp, another new Star Wars director plus Matt Damon's return to the Bourne franchise.Plus we discuss (begrudgingly) discuss every Transformers film! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. Red hot comic book movie news. Shooting up your butt hole. The Weekly Planet. The Weekly Planet. Welcome back. Welcome Bach, everyone. Welcome to Bach. The Weekly Planet, The Weekly Planet James, junior editor at that website you might know me as, Mr. Sunday. With me as always is my co-host, Nick Mason.

Hi! Alright. Welcome back. We're on the internet. We sure are. What a thrill. Isn't it though? Yeah.

Like, you know, it's so rare for people to get on the internet and just spout their dumb opinions. Just shout about nothing. Shout about nothing to nothing to no one. It's pretty great, right? It sure is. Yeah, it's an honour. Yeah, yeah. Alright, Mason, straight to the news. Okay. Let's not muck right? It sure is. Yeah, it's an honour. Yeah, yeah. Alright, Mason.

Straight to the news. Okay. Let's not muck around. Because this is a podcast about news and stuff. Barely the news? Barely the news. Roughly the news. Roughly the news.

That's it. There we go. Remember we talked about that DC line-up last week? Yeah, movie line-up. And we were like, that's bullshit. We did say that, yeah. Well, just to reiterate the line-up. Is that the word for this?

Whatever. Shazam 2016. July 2016, sorry. Sandman Christmas 2016. Justice League May 2017. Wonder Woman July 2017. Flash Green Lantern Team Up Christmas 2017. Man of Steel May 2018. More like, wow, that's a lot of movies in a really short amount of time.

They've never done that before. Seems impossible. Yeah, exactly. Well, it turns out, Kevin Smith went on his Hollywood Babylon podcast. Sure do. Says it's true. With Ralph something or other. Ralph Garman.

There we go. Still goes. Yeah, yeah. I used to listen to that. I don't listen to it anymore. It's not bad. I just... So many podcasts.

So many podcasts. You know? So much Hollywood goss. That's right. But yeah, Kevin Smith says it's true. That's the lineup that he heard. Based on what? Well, he probably knows Warner Brothers.

The Warner Brothers. The Warner Brothers, yeah. He probably goes golfing with the Warner Brothers. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So, I guess... When they're not busy hitting each other with giant hammers, you know? I know it.

Under that water tower or whatever the hell. Yep. Is that a real water tower? I think so, yeah. God, that's great. It's probably filled with Botox or something. Okay, cool. You know, Hollywood people like.

There's further rumors to this though, Mason. Oxycontin oxycontin anyway continue they also say this is an extended rumor from this though this won't be announced at comic con that there's going to be a first solo batman movie in 2019 called the batman which i think is a good name for a batman movie we. We haven't had it before. We've had every other variation. It's as good as any. Yep. Is it too late for a solo Batman film five years from now, or is it a good amount of time to wait? That'll be fine.

So you don't think... Kids love Batman. They do love Batman, but Ben Affleck won't be too old by then, because he's like 42 by now. I think they'll just reboot it again. I think he'll get out of his contract by then. It'll be a different guy again. Val Kilmer style? It'll be Val Kilmer, contract by then. It'll be a different guy again. Val Kilmer style?

It'll be Val Kilmer, yeah. Excellent. It'll be fat Val Kilmer. It's also said that Jason Momoa has been sort of confirmed as Aquaman. Like Kevin Smith again? No, no, different thing. He is Aquaman. And then he went on one of the talk shows and he was like, I can't say.

That is not a confirmation, though. By the very definition't say so that is not a confirmation though like by the very definition of confirmation no but there was one prior to that there was a confirmation i think from a like from the actual should have probably looked this up yeah but it was like a proper confirmation huh yeah there you go from a studio from a studio i might be wrong email me if i'm wrong okay so yeah but i'd say that's pretty much a lock it's fine he's got the abs he does that's all you need yeah it's got the abs he's got the abitude correct thank you that seems a little bit racist but continue i don't know i hope not is that a slur that i wasn't aware of no if it is we apologize Holy crap. It's also said, Mason. Yes? Lex Luthor in this new Batman vs. Superman.

Jesse Eisenberg, right? Versus Justice League. Dubbed Justice. Yeah, Jesse Eisenberg. He's going to have sweet blonde locks, long hair, and he'll be in a trendy hipster office space. And that's going to be LexCorp. That is a rumor.

Sure. It's not good, though, is it? No, who's that based on? Like a lot of these, like, you know, Iron Man is based on a real kind of entrepreneur and all that sort of stuff. Like that seems to be the trend. Yeah. Who is this Lex Luthor based on? Young... Mark Zuckerberg?

Branson? Yeah, across between Branson and Zuckerberg. Okay, yeah. And Manson, Charles Manson. Wow. Yeah, so... Ah, yeah, okay. Young Lex Luthors always have red hair. Yeah, well... Like traditionally. Wow. Yeah, so. Yeah, okay. Young Lex Luthor's always had red hair. Yeah, well. Traditionally. Yeah.

Except for Lois and Clark one, where he was just a guy. Yeah, he was just a guy. Just a guy, yeah, yeah. All right, fine. Yeah, cool. Do they maybe want to make him a combination of, you know, somebody, somebody, and the WikiLeaks guy, Julian Assange? Oh, yeah.

I guess, yeah, that makes sense. Don't like that. I mean, you made it up, so. Yeah, I made. Oh, yeah. I guess, yeah. That makes sense. Don't like that. I mean, you made it up. Yeah, I made it up, yeah. Stop it, Frayn. Stop making up scenarios that I hate, Frayn. You know Zingerman, remember? Yeah, Zingerman.

Zingerman. And Nemesis. And Nemesis, Zingerman, yeah. He says the film to him is starting to look like The Amazing Spider-Man 2, both in the sense they're packing into a lot into one film, and the entire thing is like

the entire franchise is riding on it like they just kind of extend out from here do you know what i mean they're like this is everything in this universe now we'll explore the elements of it he's right that's probably true yeah zingerman he's got us again zingerman is he our nemesis oh he certainly seems to know a lot more than us Well then everybody's Our nemesis Correct If that's the case We're surrounded by nemesises

We are Like we were in an amazing Spider-Man film That's right We're gonna come out swinging You know it Harrison Ford Mason We talked about this last week

Grumpy old Gramps Yeah that's right Grumpy old Gramps We thought it was his ankle Like that he'd broken his ankle Apparently it was in the Millennium Falcon door Which is great Yeah Like I'm glad it, like that he'd broken his ankle. Apparently it was in the Millennium Falcon door, which is great.

Yeah. Like, I'm glad it happened like that. So, um... Actually, Aaron, at McFazza on Twitter... Yeah, yeah. He sent, um... So the Harrison Ford said injury, the door shut first. Which is one where I wish I'd thought of that first, ultimately.

He's another enemy of the show. Yep, another nemesis of the show. Yeah, but it says it was actually his whole leg... Well, not his whole leg, but his leg was broken. Wow. Not his ankle. But he had surgery and it was successful and he will begin rehab shortly. And he's doing well and looking forward to returning to work in eight weeks.

Eight weeks. Long time, Mason. Correct. That makes me think that he's not in it that much or that he is killed in the movie. There you go, maybe. Maybe. I mean, Robert Downey Jr. had a busted ankle or a twisted ankle for a lot of Iron Man 3. And they just kind of filmed him from like the waist up or whatever.

Okay. And they... They put him on a trolley. They put him on a trolley. Just pulled him along on a bit of string. Like when he's entering the Mandarin's palace. You just see him waist up. Gliding.

Just gliding. Oddly gliding. Yeah. But yeah, you know, there's that end scene where he goes and visits his mansion. And he's like, I am Iron Man. Don't worry about it. And we're all kind of like, not really. Because you just threw out everything that makes you Iron Man.

Correct. Including the thing in your chest. Not the point, Mason. Also, you can build another Iron Man suit in 20 minutes. That's right. But that wasn't him. That was his head put on someone else's body. Wow.

Which is apparently so seamless now we can't even notice it. So there you go. There's not like a weird blur around it or anything. Because that's flawless, if that. Wow. Which is apparently so seamless now we can't even notice it. So there you go. There's not like a weird blur around it or anything because that's flawless if that is true, which it is. That's amazing, I guess. As far as we know. As far as we know.

Unless your pal Kevin Smith told us, in which case who knows if it's true or not. Who bloody knows. So anyway, he's out for eight weeks. But do you think, because we don't really know anything about the plot of the Star Wars sequels at this point. There was some stuff this year.

Do you think they would, do you think potentially they could, if he was a big part, do you think that they would rework the entire shooting schedule around him or do you think they'd just write him out? I think they'd rework around him. Okay.

Because I think, at this point, I think people are going to see a lot of it is the old cast in particular, Harrison Ford. Right, right. So, I don't know, but who knows? I think most of it is just going to be them sitting in some sort of Senate chamber. Like, just the three, like...

Just hanging out looking real sad. Just hanging out, yeah, yeah. God. But yeah, there were some rumours this week, and I wasn't going to bring this up, but why not? Yeah. Why weren't you going to bring it out? Is it too controversial?

No, not at all. Is it too boring? I forgot, and I did it this morning, and it's not really it too controversial? No, not at all. Is it too boring? I forgot and I did it this morning and it's not really... Okay, so basically they haven't formed the new Galactic Republic yet. It's been 30 years but they haven't formed it. Wow. Because there's been this... There's been some sort of trade...

Dispute. Dispute. They're blocking a planet. Taxation a blockade. Blah, blah, blah. That's probably it, yeah. And because there's these... Sounds like laziness.

That's it. There's these three Jedi hunters apparently that are trying to bring the Sith back and they're going around trying to wipe out any remaining Jedi and Luke's all fried and whatever. And he's like, I hate this. I killed that one guy. Isn't that enough? Which makes sense, though, because in the expanded universe,

they don't establish the New Republic straight away, but it's pretty soon. 30 years is also a very long time. We've accomplished so much in 30 years. Sure have. This podcast, you have a nice bicycle behind you. That's not mine. Oh then, wow, you haven't done a lot then.

What was I going to say? Establishing the Galactic Republic. Yeah, it would take a while, I guess, to do. So yeah, there you go. That may be something that is happening or not happening. Who knows? Okay. But long story short, Harrison Ford's had a sweet eight weeks off. go that's that may be something that is happening or not happening who knows okay yeah but long story short harrison ford's had a sweet eight weeks off paid it's gonna do a lot of crosswords

probably he sure is he sure is it's also been reported that your favorite director ryan johnson of brick and looper well that's just for looper brick is good brick is good i haven't seen brothers blue we do that as well Brick is good. I haven't seen Brothers Blooming. Did that as well, didn't you? It's good, yeah. Yeah, I haven't seen it. He will direct Star Wars Episode VIII and provide the treatment for IX. There were varying stories on this.

One said that he'd write the treatment for VIII and IX. This more updated one is apparently saying he's only writing the treatment for IX, but he's directing VIII. Okay. What do you think, Mason? There's no time travel involved, so it's fine. He can't mess it up.

He has trouble with time travel? It's well-known fact, Mason. There's no time travel involved, so it's fine. He can't mess it up. He has trouble with time travel? It's well-known fact, Mason. It's all over the internet that you hate the movie Looper. Correct. He cannot possibly screw up as badly as anyone has screwed up any of the other Star Wars films. Good point. Yeah, I know. Well, Draven C has written in, and he sent this email.

In the heading, it said, Ryan fucking Johnson. That email in the heading it said Ryan fucking Johnson that's in the heading good start and the first line is are you kidding me so he's not a fan he's not a fan there you go

but you're also not a fan of just Looper but you're like you're okay with this in general yeah yeah he does characters well yeah he does

I think it's good I mean I think J.J. Abrams is a good launching off point but I don't want to see a J.J. Abrams Star Wars trilogy I think as proven by Star Trek he can reboot something and point, but I don't want to see a J.J. Abrams Star Wars trilogy. Yeah, yeah. I think as proven by Star Trek, he can reboot something and it works, but I don't, just

then if he does that and it works, I'd like him to step away. Right. For someone else to do something. Because all the Star Wars movies, except for the prequels, are all directed by different guys. Uh-huh. Well, George Lucas did the first one. What's his name?

Ivan Krishna did the second one and another guy did the third one. I can't remember. So, yeah. And they've all got a different feel, Mason. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. They all feel pretty good to the touch. Yeah, like, again, elements.

Like, the character stuff from Looper I quite like. Yeah. Like, and it was nice that they kind of segued around the time travel by saying, hey, if I explained how time travel worked, we'd just be two guys sitting in a diner talking about time travel. So, you know, that's fun. Cool. All right, then.

The Bourne franchise, Mason. Yes. You've seen them all. Nope. You've seen one of them. I've seen three of them. I haven't seen the Jeremy Renner one. My understanding was...

Was it Jeremy Renner? Yeah, it was. No, you saw two, three in the Renner one. You skipped the first one. That was weird. Yeah, I've only seen those ones as well. I've only seen the first three. I didn't see the Renner one.

Apparently, it's okay. I've heard, yep. But who I didn't see the Renner one. Apparently it's okay. I've heard, yep. But who cares? But you're saying there's a future to this franchise. Well, they've pushed back Born 5, which is starring Jeremy Renner, apparently. Born in the USA. Born in the USA to 2016, which is jam-packed already. But the rumour is, this has been debunked by its producer,

but the rumour is that they pushed it back because Matt Damon's back on board. Ooh. Which would be cool, I guess. The Bourne movies, I don't think they're that good. Be more specific. Okay. Or less specific.

The first ones, I thought was really good and a good launching off point for the Bourne franchise. Uh-huh. They become increasingly convoluted. They're completely interchangeable and I think two and three run parallel?

That can't be right. No, because at the end, because three ends at the, at like two thirds way between the second movie or something. They intersect. It's weird. I can't remember exactly how.

I think maybe that they're, because the Bourne movies have a lot of sequences where like Jason Bourne is running through a place in Europe. And there's a lot of trains and trolley cars going past. And he sort of weaves in and out of them. And he goes through a subway station. Yeah. And there's a lot of people.

I think maybe there's just multiple scenes of those and you're confusing them. I'm pretty sure they dissect, though. I would bet your life on it and this bicycle which i don't own fantastic i've always what i kind of wanted because if you recall the first born film starts with him being fished out of the ocean yeah by a fishing boat because he's been you know he was shot and he ended up in the ocean spoiler alert mason sorry and then at the third at the end of the third film no spoilers here but

here's what happens at the end is that he he falls into the ocean like in a parallel to that scene and then you see him you think oh is he dead

and then he swims away yeah yeah but I always thought it would have been a better ending if he falls into the ocean at the end of the third one and then he's picked up

by the fishing boat from the first film and then it just ends with like black screen and title card that just says, time travel, question mark. Just ruins it. Like a semi-realistic kind of, you know, take on espionage, and then it's just like, meh, sci-fi.

Whatever. Retrictions. Because you would. It would be amazing. It's the third film. Yeah, who cares? You're probably not doing another one They didn't think Matt Damon was coming back

And whatever I kind of I would like to do an episode That's disappointing I would like to do an episode If we're talking about episodes Yeah On

Like movie series Where the directors ruined the last one For everyone else Oh I would love that So you have Spider-Man 3 Yeah yeah There's got to be others right Oh there's heaps

Yeah yeah Where they're like look I'm not doing anymore And I don't care what happens. Yeah. So I'm going to ruin this for everyone. Eat it. Yeah. All right.

Anyway, Bourne films. Bourne films. So we might be getting another Matt Damon one. But Jeremy Renner wasn't Jason Bourne. He was somebody else. He was Alex Cross? No, that's not right. No.

No. He was Alex something. Alex Trebek from Jeopardy. Yeah, that's the one. But he had, I know he had pills that made him smart. And he was like, I'm smarter now. You're thinking of the film Limitless. I am thinking of the film Limitless.

Anyway, I don't think that they're, I don't think the last two run parallel, two or three run parallel. I'm pretty sure they don't. All right. Email me, Mason, when you find out. Not completely parallel, but I'm sure they intersect. I think the problem with those films, as you at back at them now is that they they started a certain sort of trend in kind of maybe action cinematography which at the time was quite innovative but now that everybody does it now just seems kind of boring it's real

annoying yeah like you know the fist fights where it cuts at every punch yeah yeah i mean sort of you know because the when the matrix came out and it sort of pioneered those really really long action sequence those really long shots like so i mean they had been done before but that was the first time yeah mainstream and that and that was really interesting then every film started to do it and it became kind of boring yeah and then born kind of went back to this kind of like it was it was quick cuts but it was kind of really brutal and kind of this realistic more like less super elaborate martial arts and more just like picking up a pen and stabbing somebody in the eye because that'll fight with a rolled up magazine yeah exactly yeah and i think you know

that that at the time was kind of brutal and innovative and people enjoyed it now that everybody's doing that again yeah that's it well that's what bond became as well yeah bond is very big on just whatever whatever whatever yeah whatever. Yeah, whatever is the prevailing... Grab half a brick. Yeah. Hit a guy with a brick. Whatever the... The Bond films, whatever the prevailing kind of actions, you know, thing or the, you know,

the trendy thing is to just take it on board and steal it. Yeah, yeah. That's pretty much all Bond does. You're right. Well, that was also... I think 2002 was when the first Bond came out. Yeah, yeah. Or maybe 2001.

But that was around the same time that Die Another Day came out. Yeah. And people were like, what is Bond doing when we're getting this? And we're getting this bizarre Pierce Brosnan CGI self-referential nonsense. Correct. Great villain in Diamond Face. Don't get me wrong. Sure, absolutely.

But yeah. Man, we've talked about it. One of the best invisible cast, sure. Sorry, Born. Okay, we're done with Born. I think we are. I think we are. I think we are. Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever?

Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, to support life-saving progress in mental health care. From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So, who will you rise for? Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca.

That's sunrisechallenge.ca. Well, Mason, I've got a clever segue. Okay. You're not supposed to bring him up, though, are you? You're supposed to just do it. No, you don't have a segue. You've got a clever segue. Okay. You're not supposed to bring him up, though, are you? You're supposed to just do it. No, you don't have a segue. You've got a bicycle. I think the inventor of a segue died on a segue, fell off a cliff.

Is that true? I've heard that. I think, yeah. Yeah, I'll tell you what. You do your little news, and I'll look up creator of segue dies on segue. Okay, gotcha. Lorenzo de Bonaventura. He's the producer

of the Transformers films, Mason. He says, part five of Transformers is not set in stone as of yet. Do you remember how they were talking about this new Transformers movie was going to kick off a new kind of trilogy

set in the same universe but kind of like a reboot? You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Because we closed off that amazing last trilogy in such a way that how do you,

where do you go? Correct. Especially since nobody involved in the production of that how do you, where do you go? Correct. Especially since nobody involved in the production of that film knows or remembers how it ends.

So, okay, in other news, the billionaire Segway tycoon dies in cliff plunge on one of his own scooters. So you are

correct. That is what happened. Yes, and I'm sorry to hear that. Found dead in a river after plunging 80 feet over a

limestone cliff. He was riding a rugged country version of his two-wheeled Segway. So that's the one with the big mud tires with the chains on it. What do you think as you're falling to your death? I mean, jeez. I knew it! Harrison Ford style.

So basically, yeah, they were talking about the future. They were saying maybe it might go into space at one point, right? Okay, sure. Which I'd love to see. We might talk about that more at the end. But he said the problem with that is they want to have the humans with us and the fans want humans in the Transformers movies. So can you go into space? I say I want very little humans in Transformers movies.

I think if you made the Transformers individually actual characters and not like... There's only very... There's like two characters in the Transformers movies that are Transformers. The rest are just collections of catchphrases. Yep. And not like... There's only very... There's like two characters in the Transformers movies that are Transformers. The rest are just collections of catchphrases. Exactly.

Yeah. You've got Optimus Prime and Sword of Bumblebee and I guess Megatron. Right, right, right. Sometimes. I don't know. But like if you made them

actual characters which they are in other incarnations of it. Yeah. Because they're essentially they've got the personalities of people. Sure.

Like you don't need to jam it with humans. Sometimes, racial stereotypes. Sometimes, yeah. Also, I would argue, Lorenzo de Bonaventura, can we take the humans into space? We can already go into space, so it's not really... So, yes. It's not even really a science fiction concept, it's more a science concept.

Humans can go into space. If you can imagine robots that can transform, intelligent, sentient robots that can go into space. If you can imagine robots that can... intelligent, sentient robots that can transform into vehicles, maybe you could also imagine maybe a space helmet for a human. They could wear a space helmet and go into space. I believe in Dark of the Moon, the third Transformers movie, there are humans in space, and that whole moon landing was a cover to go see the Autobot ship on the moon.

So it's also shown in the movies that humans go to space in the 60s. Do you remember the very first teaser trailer for the first Transformers movie? Vaguely. What was it? Because it was essentially that. It was supposed to be some unearthed footage of a probe that was on the moon. Like some sort of space probe. And you see it and it's moving around and it's observing the lunar landscape or whatever

and it turns slightly and you see a silhouette of a thing and then it's smashed to bits. I remember that. But the silhouette is clearly Generation 1 Megatron like the cartoon version of Megatron which is not what we got at all. No.

Sweet segue. Sweet segue. Talking about dumb Transformers movies. Let's do it. Well, we promised last week, Mason, and a few people were excited to hear it, sort of. Not really. Great. But, hey, let's talk about all the Transformers movies.

Okay. And how we love them. No. How we watched them. Yeah. Either way. What a good way to start, I thought. Let's talk about how this franchise kicked off.

Yes. You're a fan of the Transformers franchise as a kid? Absolutely. Yeah, yeah. Had all the Transformers. All of them? Well, no, not all of them. Some of them.

Certainly had some of them. Do you know how it started? What the idea was behind it? Well, it was basically Hasbro. Hang on. Steve Jobs was in his garage. Steve Jobs in his garage. He had his startup company. Jobs was in his garage. And he had this start-up company.

He had so many ideas. I mean, the Transformers ultimately, in the 80s, it was all about... It still is now, I guess. All the money was in the toys. Yeah, after Star Wars. After Star Wars. There's no real money in movies. It's all lunchboxes and blah-biddy-blah.

Yeah. So you want a toy line, and then you build the toys. You come up with the concept of the toys. You build the toys, and then you send it to... Usually, they'd send it to a comic book creator and say, build us a storyline around it. Yeah, hell. We've done this.

We've got some colors. Do the blah-biddy-blah. In this case, I don't think they... Hasbro didn't actually build the toys. They went to Takara, which is a Japanese company, and they just... They were two different toy lines.

That's why Transform, like the original Transform was at different scales. Like there's little ones and there's big ones. I remember that. Okay. Because there was the...

One series was called Diaclones, which I think were the bigger ones, and there were Microman, which were the little ones. Okay. And basically they said, look, we'll put them all together. Let's buy the rights

to all of these in America. And hey... Let's just make something. Yeah, yeah, let's make something. Let's make this happen. Let's smash it all together. What a brilliant idea though, I think. And then after that they go, well, here's the storyline.

Let's create an animated series with terrible animation and give them personalities, like you said, and then hopefully the kids love them and then they'll buy them toys. And boy, did they. with terrible animation and give them personalities, like you said, and then hopefully the kids love them and then they'll buy them toys. And boy, did they. Boy, yes. Boy, did we. Boy, did we.

But it combines everything that you like as a boy anyway. It's like cars and trucks and whatever. I'm not really a cars guy and I wasn't really when I was a kid. Guns, exactly. Handguns. Having a realistic looking handgun

and waving it around in shopping centres as a child. That was a good one. It sure was. Having a realistic-looking handgun and waving it around in shopping centres as a child. That was a good one. It sure was. And robots. Yeah. The combination of those things. What a great idea, really.

I mean, it had probably been done before at that point in some other Japanese medium, probably. I don't know. Who knows? Email me, Inmason, if that's true. But I remember the first time I saw those. I don't even remember when, but I always loved them. I always thought, what a great idea.

How awesome. So you're a fan of the Generation 1 cartoons? Well, it's one of the... Yes, at the time, certainly. Yeah. It's one of those things where you remember the incredible animation, but I think it's because your childlike brain

fills in all the blanks. It does, yeah, yeah. And you go, oh man, the trans... Because the animation quality was variable yeah like the because i watched a lot of clips online this week and some of it's quite good this is not including that the movie from the 80s and some of it's just like it's like three frames you know like yeah over a period of like 20 seconds like it's what what was interesting about uh animation from the 80s is you could is you could always tell what was going to happen.

Because the objects that were going to move were always different. They were always different colour or different texture to the background stuff. So you'd watch a Scooby-Doo cartoon and you'd see a desk in a library or something like that. And you knew a book was going to fly up and fly around the room because that book was a different colour to all the other books. Yeah. Was Scooby-Doo from the 80s? Oh, 70s, I don't know.

Who cares? Casey Kasem just died. Oh, really? Yeah, boys are shaggy. That's a shame. Put that in your news, you son of a bitch. You heartless son of a bitch. Well, actually, there was other Scooby-Doo news.

Really? They're talking about maybe doing another one. Oh, that's right, yeah, yeah. So I didn't see any of a bitch. You heartless son of a bitch. They talked about, well, actually, there was other Scooby-Doo news. Really? They're talking about maybe doing another one. Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, I didn't see any of those movies. I, no, they were kind of fun. Sure. They're kind of in like an, they were sort of a little bit

kind of fun and self-referential. Yeah, yeah. Kind of, we're having fun with. Like a direct translation of the cartoon. Yeah,

kind of. I mean, I didn't watch it. Like, like, you know, you kind of, your Brady Bunch kind of film

where they're like, yeah, this, you know, we remember the nostalgia and we're kind of having fun with it. Sure. I think James kind of your Brady Bunch kind of film where they're like, yeah, this, you know, we remember the nostalgia and we're kind of having fun with it. I think James Gunn wrote

the first one. Really? Okay. That's off the top of my head. Maybe that's completely wrong. A lot of the stuff I say is wrong, but I say it with conviction. Doesn't matter.

Yeah. What were we talking about? Terrible animation. Yeah. Well, He-Man's all that. Yeah, exactly. Remember when Tommy watched all that He-Man

and we were like, this is all very similar. Yeah, yeah. But again, like, we're going to be talking about the 1986 transforms animated movie and there were a couple of like animated specials there was one called call of the primitives which was like an extended episode and i think they went to a different animation house and that that animation is quite good okay and because the transformers movie is so like distinct in my mind i remember all the the series having amazing animation when it did not.

It really was the worst. Were you a fan of any of the other series? Such as? Beast Wars. No, that was after my time, I think. Yeah, me too. But the thing about Beast Wars, well, I was still, what, 10 or whatever when that came out.

I don't know when it came out. But I remember the time I hated all that early 90s, mid-90s CGI, like that and Reboot and all those ones. You hated Reboot? How dare you? Well, this at the time, I'm just looking, I'm just, I didn't see enough of it to hate it. I don't even know what Reboot is about. Was it set in the internet? I don't know. It was set on a mainframe.

Okay, great. Which is sort of. They went into the internet later when the internet was sort of invented. Okay, gotcha. Yeah. But like, just being like, this is difficult to watch. Like, animation-wise. Right.

Like, it looked cheap then sure like what about the incredible crash dummies that was that was a league unto itself thank you good but yeah so i pretty much the only series i really watched was the original one but even then i don't remember ever being on consistently like it was never on a here anyway it wasn't on at a regular time i think or i didn't have any copies of the tapes or whatever so i had i've seen like bits and pieces all over the place i've got no idea who's what order anything happens in or whatever so i liked it but i couldn't i couldn't i couldn't keep up with it so that's why i'm so depressed that's why

you're a traitor to the cause that's why i I love reboots so much. So does that mean that you... I had toys. I still loved it, but I just didn't... Did you go into the first Transformers live-action movie expecting something in particular? Did you... Not really. I mean, I went in thinking, I'm surprised they're making this. I would have thought that this is something that would never have happened.

Because they always talk about rebooting 80s properties or whatever, but there's not really that many. Even though people talk about it happens all the time, it doesn't happen that much. They always say, we're going to do this, and then they don't. They're going to do Voltron, they're going to do He-Man. There's a lot of fan-built trailers that are reboots. Like, we're going to do Thundercats or whatever.

We don't actually see that many of them. So I didn't really... I was excited for it, don't get me wrong. Do you remember any toys in particular you had? I had the Optimus... I had so many Optimus Primes. I had no Optimus Primes. I had Optimus Prime, I had Power Master Optimus Prime.

The one kind of thing, like I've gotten rid of a lot of all this stuff. But the one thing that I've... Like the one sort of memento of... Not even childhood, because I bought it a couple of years ago. So it's not even... It's called the Masterpiece Optimus Prime. Yeah. And it's basically...

Because the thing about the toys was... And the difference between the toys and the animated series was a lot of the time, they didn't really bear any relation to each other. Because they just kind of smushed into cars in the show. You know what I mean? They didn't properly transform. But the Optimus Prime especially, like in the cartoon, he was this giant kind of imposing

leader figure who transformed in this amazing truck kind of thing. But in the actual toy version, it was a die-cast metal figure, but he was this weedy little truck that turned into this weedy little robot kind of thing. And the masterpiece optimus prime which came out a few years ago through amazing kind of modern transformer technology and a little bit of witchcraft like looks in robot form looks exactly like the version in the cartoons and then transforms into truck mode it looks exactly like hang on i'll show you i'll show you a photo you can be like like, whoa. That is pretty sweet. Yeah.

That looks dead on. And he's giving a friendly wave, too. Look, how about that? Yeah? He's just happy to be here. He sure is. But also, I found also with the Transformers... Oh, and I had them, you know, I had Megatron, of course. Oh, of course.

Of course. For waving the gun around. Yeah. You had the gun there. Of course it was a gun, Megatron. Yeah, but I also found that a lot of this stuff... Like, the movie... I was a bit young when the movie came out. I was like two or three, maybe. Oh, the 80s movie. Yeah, the I also found that a lot of this stuff... Like, the movie... I was a bit young when the movie came out.

I was, like, two or three, maybe. Oh, the 80s movie. The 80s one. But that just snuck into cinemas, didn't it? How do you mean? Like, I know the world over, people only kind of found out about this, like, the week before it was coming out or whatever.

Like, people didn't know. Like, it didn't make a lot of money or anything. Oh, I knew. You went and saw it? Yeah. Was it sweet? It was super sweet. Cool. I had... When or anything. Oh, I knew. You went and saw it? Yeah. Was it sweet? It was super sweet. I had, when I was a kid, I had...

It scarred children, though. Yeah. Because of all the... Because of Optimus Prime guys. Yeah, yeah. Spoiler alert. It was 1996. Yeah, that's right.

30 years ago. It's fine. Yeah, yeah. I was going to say, I had an ambulance who was part of the ambulance combiner guy. He was a leg. Oh, sure, yeah. I just had the leg. I had a guy that changed into a tank and a plane and a guy who was a leg. Oh, sure, yeah. I just had the leg. I had a guy that changed

into a tank and a plane and a guy who was a Decepticon. Yeah. And I had Metroplex. I remember Metroplex. Which was the city.

Yeah, yeah. And I don't understand how I got Metroplex because he would have been expensive. Nah, he was little. There were two Autobot cities, right?

Yeah. There was Metroplex. Yeah. There was Metroplex and Fortress Maximus who was three feet tall. I didn't have Fortress Maximus. No, very few people did? Yeah. There was Metroplex. Yeah. Little Metroplex. And Fortress Maximus. It was three feet tall. I didn't have Fortress Maximus. No, very few people did.

Yeah. Did you? No. You bloody rich kid. Am I right? You had a turtle blip, didn't you? I had a turtle blip. Did you really?

I had a turtle blip. You son of a bitch. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Actually, I've got another thing for me. What I like is this is just us reminiscing. Like, nobody has any interest in this. Which ones do you have?

Oh, this one. You have that one? Yeah. We should probably move on from this right also just a quick plug Mason as you saw I made a top three worst Transformers on my youtube channel yes on their movies and I could out my son I've checked it out with it oh really well first of all it was your top three worst and there was a lot more than three in there oh yeah I had some extra ones at the end yeah that's fine well you one of yours was Nightbeat.

Yeah. Who's the Autobot detective. Yeah. Good character. Nah. I understand the bad guy is always the Decepticon. The culprit is always the Decepticon. He's not really solving any mysteries.

No. But the British Transformers series had some really good Nightbeat stories. Did he have a little Sherlock Holmes hat? Sometimes. Or one of the cubsies wearing a trench coat and a hat. This is for real. So, because back in the 80s and 90s, there was a British Transformers series. Yeah.

And it reprinted all the American stories, but it came out once a week. Okay. And so they needed additional stories. So they got like British artists and writers and stuff to... Okay. I think we mentioned this before. Yeah, we have. I'm sure we have.

But there were some really good stories. Yeah. So you love Nightbeat. You're a Nightbeat apologist. I guess I am a Nightbeat apologist, yeah. All right, I guess we should get into the movies. Also, if I can add a worst... Sure.

A couple of... For the worst Transformers, I'm just going to throw them in there. Oh, God, what's his name? Silverbolt, who was the leader of the Aerial Bots, which was the group of Transformers that were planes and they could combine to form Superion, which was like a giant one.

So he was the leader of the Aerialbots, afraid of heights. So that's unfortunate for him, right? I should have called you before I made this video. Exactly. Also, one of my favourites that I thought of earlier was a guy, he was an Autobot. He was called Punch, and he had to just punch people. He's just a domestic violence robot. No, he was an Autobot he was called Punch and he had a just punch people he's just a domestic

violence robot no he was a he was a spy he was a robot spy who could transform into counter punch like instead of having two vehicle modes

he had two robot modes but he had one we had one vehicle mode which was like a sports car sweet he's not a very good spy though when you think about it like he's just hanging out

in the Decepticon lair they're like hey counter punch what's up and he's like not much just hanging out just listening just listening to everybody's conversations They're like, hey, Counterpunch, what's up? And he's like, no, not much. Just hanging out, just listening. Just listening to everybody's conversations. They know he's an Autobot.

And they're like, no. But they'd be like... Wait, so he'd change into a Decepticon? Yeah, he'd change into a Decepticon. But they'd be like, hey, Counterpunch, are you any relation to Punch, that Autobot? And he's like, nah, never heard of him. And he's like, yeah, but you're kind of the same colour scheme.

You're kind of blue and kind of yellow. You've got that Autobot emblem on you. Is that... Yeah, you have names kind of similar. You both transformed into the same kind of sports car. He's like, nah, never heard of him, mate. Anyway, terrible. See, at least the detective, you're open about being a detective.

Sure. You're a terrible spy. Come on. Well, I think a lot of them were just like let's just what can we transform this guy into who cares whatever there's also and i can't remember his name but there's an autobot that transforms into a boat and he's rusty like he gets rust like he's really prone to rust that's it that's like having eczema that's like autobot eczema yeah yeah now transformers mason oh let's talk about the movies we're all excited yeah in 2007 or prior to 2007 when it was announced

that they were going to make it look I've been excited both before and after 2007 and during 2007 for many reasons okay don't tell me when I can and cannot be excited

I apologise for assuming these things sorry you're okay now you talked about I remember that now that you mention that I remember that teaser trailer

I Michael Bay wasn't full flight Michael Bay at that point was he uh what had he done he done like pearl harbor he did both of the bad boys movies he did uh armageddon yeah so he hadn't really he hadn't really discovered he could make everything explode yet yeah the transformers is where he was limited by budget i think yeah i guess so yeah as well but god bad boys 2 is not a good movie, is it?

No, not at all. So I was like, okay, that's cool. I'm glad, I guess. And also, you know, they brought back Peter Cullen as Optimus Prime, which is a great move. Can you notice the age in his voice though now? Like he sounds different because he's like 67 plus, right? For me at the time when it came out, I enjoyed it.

I remember coming out going, I enjoyed that. There were some good moments in it. But it was very muddled in the fight scenes and who was who and what's what. Which only got worse. Which only got worse. But this... I think the action sequence is quite well shot in the first one.

Sure. But you know what? And I just think about this the other day. I hate the Optimus Prime design. Yes. And that is the linchpin On whether or not I enjoy these films I think If they'd made him look like Because I was kind of invested a lot

In that Optimus Prime design Like the one from the cartoons You're one of those nostalgia jerks Yeah exactly I'm a nostalgia jerk And if they had made him look Exactly like he looked And I know they've had various reasons for this But if they had made him look exactly like he looked and i know they've had various reasons for this but yeah if they made him his vehicle mode at least look exactly like it did in the

cartoons with the you know with the the flat cabin and the the the trailer the trailer on the back yeah i would have forgiven i'm willing to say that i would have forgiven every last piece of rubbish in these three films. If he looked like he did in the cartoons. I don't know why that is. Like, I don't know why I'll forgive, like, terrible writing and just action sequences that go on forever with no resolution. And just, you know, just all this other nonsense. They got the head right.

Yeah, kind of. Did they? Yeah. It's not the point, though. You're right. For me, I found... I mean, it was nice to see Transformers and whatever on the big screen, but they seemed kind of hollow and flimsy, all of them.

Right. Like, there was no kind of... Like, design-wise? Yeah. Do you mean, like, they feel like they would crumble in a... And they did, like, quite a lot. But, like, I remember, as you mentioned before, Optimus Prime is, like, this big. He's a truck, and he still has the build of a truck when he's in robot form or whatever.

But, as we've talked about before, they changed the design because he was only 20 foot high when they did it as the traditional truck. And, again, they could have built some additional mass in the trailer. They put a trailer on him, but they didn't until 2 or whatever it was. additional mass in the trailer. They put a trailer on him, but they didn't until two or whatever it was. And, but they, then they had, so then he ended up being 32 feet high because they used the other truck or whatever. Yeah. But you can make him 20 foot high.

Like it doesn't, it doesn't matter. Yeah. Does it? Like no one's going to question that or he's still, he's still big, right? Nah, 20 feet isn't that big. No? Nah. Okay.

Sorry. And also if you've got some that turn, you know, from planes're gonna be pretty big as well so I don't know I don't think I think they worry too much about scale in these movies like especially when these we've seen that some autobots and like the cube or whatever can shrink into a much smaller cube like they can do that so who cares just right exactly just, yeah. Just do whatever. It doesn't matter. It doesn't have to be realistic. The transformation themselves do look incredible, though.

Would you agree with that? I would say that, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Do you like the bumblebee design? Yeah, it's okay. Do you like the way he doesn't talk, but he talks with the radio? No, that novelty... That novelty wore off in the first, like, five seconds, right?

It did. Yeah. Like, it was good for a couple of jokes. Yeah. And then he got... Then that was repaired somehow. That bug was fixed for a couple of jokes. Yeah. And then he got... Then that was repaired somehow. That bug was fixed at the end of the first one. And then he went back to it.

Well, they mention it, I remember, at the start of the second one. They're like, he can talk, but he chooses to do this now. That's irritating. It is very irritating. Now, Michael Bay, though, you know, he turned it... He originally turned this down because he was like, that's a stupid toy movie. Uh-huh. Because Spielberg was originally... And then he accepted it while like, that's a stupid toy movie. Because Spielberg was originally...

And then he accepted it while saying, this is a stupid toy movie, but I'm going to make lots of money on it. But yeah, but he wanted to work with Steven Spielberg. I think Steven Spielberg was originally offered to do it, but Spielberg wouldn't make a Transformers movie, I'd imagine. The only thing that I can think of, and I like Steven Spielberg as a director and as a friend, but the only thing that I can think of that would be worse than a as a director and as a friend but the only thing that I can think of that would be worse than a Michael Bay

Transformers film is a Steven Spielberg Transformers film I think because it'll be all family and it's all about family and love and

it looks like the new one's all about family yeah but family just punching on with both so that's fine okay that's fine yeah yeah

according to that that same this ties into Optimus Prime thing. You know that Lorenzo D. Bonaventura guy? Sure. He said that they tried the classic boxy look for Optimus Prime,

but it looked fake and boring, so they didn't go with it. Shut up. Kids want flames. Kids want blue and red flames. That's what they want. That's exactly it. Optimus Prime also had 10,108 moving parts.

This is off the top of my head, Mason. I've collected trivia like a genius. That's a lot of parts. That is a lot of parts. Yeah. You know, also Stan Bush. You familiar with him? The Touch, sure.

He did The Touch from the original movie. He wanted to bring it back, right? He started the campaign. Somebody did. Well, he composed the soundtrack for the Transformers movie. Sorry. He composed a song for the new film, it was not suitable so they didn't they didn't put it there that's disappointing you got the touch again you've been touched again is what

they called it inappropriate so yeah what do you got there nothing i'm just looking up transforms action figures on the internet okay right um you'll love this mason. Will I? Yeah. Michael Bay's dog, a mastiff named Mason, can be seen in the film. Aww. You're named after Michael Bay's dog. I guess so, yeah. Or he's named after you. Michael Bay is named after me. Gotcha.

So, yeah, do you remember the storyline for this movie? They're looking for the AllSpark. Yes. Right? The Decepticons are. Everybody is. Is it called the AllSpark. Yes. Right? The Decepticons are. Everybody is. Is it called the AllSpark or is it called the Cube of Something? No, it is the AllSpark.

It is called the AllSpark. Yes, you're right. Yeah, yeah. And because if you get the AllSpark, you have the best, you have the most energy. You have the best time. Just have the best time. It's a real trip. Yeah.

Yeah, I don't... No, because that's the source of life in the Transformers. Yeah. Like, you can't build more Transformers without the AllSpark. Okay. But every time they accidentally use the AllSpark, it makes it like a 7-Up machine, like Attack of Wombat. Correct, yeah.

That is new life in the Transformers universe, right? But that was the goal. They all wanted that, and for some reason, uh, oh, you know what, and, oh yeah,

it was a kind of a convoluted plot, wasn't it? It was unnecessarily convoluted because what happened is, um, Shia LaBeouf, you know, we haven't had Shia LaBeouf news

in a while. We haven't. And I haven't missed it at all. Anyway, but he, he's, his character

is a descendant of some sort of polar explorer or something. Witwicky. Witwicky, and then he had some glasses and for whatever reason they had burned into them an image of... Because he found Megatron. Yeah, an image of the coordinates of the AllSpark. And so the Decepticons wanted to find him so they could find the AllSpark. Exactly. And they thought out Megatron.

And they tracked him down, Sam Witwicky, through eBay. That's right. Because eBay was a... Sweet product placement there. Those movies are all about product placement. Yeah. Well, the second movie had 71 moments of product placement. Wow.

So that's pretty incredible. Which I think was... They said it was a record at the time. But yeah, because there was an Xbox that came to life as well. Correct. All sorts of various cars. And just entertained children to no end.

Oh, this is so... We might be entertained to death if we're so entertained by this product. Apparently, I've got this here but I don't remember this. That was a real truck of Furbies

blown up in that film. Do you remember that? I have no memory of that. Me neither. I remember when we were talking about spectacular action sequences there's a scene where

there's like a highway chase and a septicon just plows through a bus. That is really good. Yeah, yeah. Well, they really tore a bus apart for that. Great. So a lot of it is practical, with obviously the exception of most of the Transformers stuff. But they did build a life-size bumblebee in parts of Optimus Prime and whatever. So you cannot fault these movies, despite most of them being terrible. I. So you cannot fault these movies despite most of them being terrible.

I mean, you can fault them for a lot of reasons. Sure. You cannot fault some small things. The CGI, sorry, you cannot really fault them. It looks really good, yeah. I think this one, the first one is the best in terms of, we're talking about them being a mess kind of action-wise, but I think this one has the most clarity in terms of who's who.

Yes. They definitely get worse. In the sequels there are so many generic Transformers that just exist to fill space. Yeah. And they're all just weird shades of grey and brown. Yep. Yep. But these ones have the most distinct characters although I can't really remember any of them.

The only bit I really remember is of the characters is when sam meets them and they're all in a circle yep and there's jazz and ironhide maybe and they all kind of say a little catchphrase or whatever yeah and that's really that's really it though yeah yeah like i don't really remember any a lot of people say that the first movie is good up until the point where the the transformer start speaking. Okay, yeah. In fact, your mate Kevin Smith, I think, said on our podcast, he thought it would have been best if they were all just silent killers.

Okay. And you never really understand why they're doing the things they do. Even Optimus Prime? Yeah, maybe. I don't know. But I mean, there's an opening sequence where the Decepticons attack a military base. Which is incredible. Which looks incredible, yeah.

And if there was just a lot of that... There's an opening sequence where the Decepticons attack a military base. Which is incredible. Which looks incredible, yeah. And if there was just a lot of that... The dilemma there is, like, I think it might have been... Somebody's probably working on editing this together. Like, if you just see this swath of destruction across the world and you have to pick up from context what they're doing, I think that would be kind of an excellent film okay

but I kind of like the way Godzilla did it yeah yeah and I think the assumption the movie makers assumption is that the public is too dumb

to figure that out yeah so we need a lot of we need a lot of we need someone talking about we need Optimus Prime talking about space

and honour and protecting and the future well it's funny you say that about the dialogue, though, because it says a lot of the dialogue was cut from the Decepticons to make them more menacing. There we go.

So, yeah. Okay, good. But also, I've got here, I remember this, Megatron's first line of dialogue in this movie is, I am Megatron. Which is what you say when you wake up. I say that. I say, I'm Mason when I wake up in the morning.

Yeah, after he thawed out, which is... Why, though? Yeah. I don't understand. But there's a few little touches, like, that are good. Like, the fact that he changes into an alien jet because he refuses to take the shape of anything. The idea is that he's too arrogant to take the shape of anything on Earth. Yeah, yeah. Because he's not hiding.

He's like, fuck you. Right, exactly, yeah. I'm a weird space plane or whatever. Who cares? Like, stuff like that which I enjoy but I don't know

I would I remember thinking it was okay at the time but I would never ever ever ever go back and watch it ever you should go back though you're probably right

I should yeah you should definitely go back yeah you know that was also it was also the fastest selling DVD release of 2007 so people obviously

this movie I think it made like 15152 million in its first week, which was like one of the biggest openings for a movie that was not a sequel or whatever. I think I bought it on DVD. And I think the reason I did is because I went, did I enjoy that? And then I put it in and went, not really. So I think maybe that's the reason it was the fastest selling blah-de-blah, whatever. Well, that's the whole thing about all these movies, isn't it? I mean, we see them, but we don't like them.

Do we? Good question. Yeah, one more thing, Mason, before we move on from this one. Oh, a couple of things. John Turturro, remember his character? He was an agent. Yeah, sure. He was insane.

The Toots. The Toots. He's great, actually. I really like him. But he based his. Yes, sure. He was insane. The Toots. The Toots. He's great, actually. I really like him. But he based his character, Agent Simmons, on Michael Bay. But Michael Bay insists this is not true. Oh, really? I would love that to be true.

I don't remember much about that character, but he got peed on at one point, which is a big point of contention for fans of the Transformers because Bumblebee peed on him. And also it says, and this part here ties into why a lot of this is so confusing, the action parts. In close-up shots, the Transformers are sped up, and the wide shots, they're in slow motion to give weight to their movement and to make them look cool. They are pretty cool, when you think about it.

So, Mason, we give ratings to everything, as you know. By ratings, I mean best or worst movie ever. There are only two options, sure. There are. What do you think? I'm going to say best movie ever, because of that opening sequence. I agree with you. Yeah. And it ends at some point. It does end at some point. Which can't really be said about

the sequels. They seem to never end. Never, ever, ever. Have you got a cool thing there? No. Let's just move on to the next one. I've got stuff to say about the next one probably. 2009. Transformers.

Revenge of the Fallen. The wheels fell off this franchise like immediately, right? So to speak. Transformers have wheels. They sure do. Like, I remember hearing that this wasn't good going in. And I thought, I'll give it a go. And I remember thinking 20 minutes in, I'm like, this is all right. But then it just went forever.

You did. And it didn't go anywhere. And Optimus Prime was killed and disappeared for a large majority of it. And he's the only character. Correct. Well, the only Autobot character, really. There was more humans in it. Sam Witwicky's mum and dad visit him at college.

And one of them gets stoned. The action sequences go forever. It's convoluted. There's racist robots in it. There sure are. There's a character called the RC Twins and there's three of them. Are they the ones that make

the ice cream truck and they're racist? No, that's the other two. They're like motorcycles. And they're called the RC Twins and there's three of them. Is it a joke? I don't think so. I don't remember those guys at all. See, there you go.

I've only seen it once, though. But there you go. There's a lot of kind of additional characters that make no sense in the film. And talking about Optimus Prime is killed in that film.

And he spends the most majority of the film, you know, in Autobot Heaven or whatever. Yes. If you recall at the end of the first Transformers, one of the Autobots is killed. He's like torn Megatron like ten and a half. It's Jazz, right?

I think it's Jazz. So Jazz is killed. Yeah. And at the start of Transformers 2, he's alive again. Yes. So... He's also alive in the comics as well. So the question to me in the spin-off comics

of the movies so the question in my mind would be when Optimus Prime dies why don't you just perform whatever thing you performed on Jazz to bring him back

from the dead because that clearly worked right well there's also there's a thing you mentioned in how it should have ended they bring back um

Megatron using a piece of the Allspark uh huh which is also what they killed him with. Correct. Oh, that's right. I was going to mention that. Yeah, but also Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox

have a piece of the AllSpark with them, yeah. And it's also another bit where it echoes the first movie where that AllSpark imprints something on Shia LaBeouf's mind. Do you remember he has the coordinates to the Matrix in this one? Is that right? Yeah, the Matrix. It's the Matrix, which is a big plot point of the 1986 movies.

But do you remember what this movie was actually about? Do you remember? I had to look it up so I can tell you, but do you remember? Well, it's called Revenge of the Fallen. Yes. There's a fallen, and he's like a Transformer, but he's not a Transformer.

Yeah. Or something. He doesn't Transformer. Yeah. He refuses. Yeah, exactly. He refuses to Transformer. And he wants to. Yeah, exactly. He refuses to Transformer. And he wants to...

Do you remember? I actually had some of these as a kid. They were called the Transformers Action Masters. And there were Transformers that didn't transform. I have one of them. I had a yellow one. He was a jet. But he just looked like a G.I. Joe.

Great. Yeah, I don't know why those existed. Anyway, yeah. I loved mine. Anyway, the Fallen. And he wanted to get everyone. He wanted to kill everyone. Yeah, well, the irony was... He killed everyone? I don't know. And again, I had to look this up Anyway, the Fallen. And he wanted to get everyone. He wanted to kill everyone? Yeah, well, the idea was...

Kill everyone? I don't know. And again, I had to look this up. He was a Prime. Right. And he came to Earth and there were six or seven Primes. I don't know. And the idea was they come to Earth and they harvest the sun for Energon or whatever they

were doing. I can't remember. And from there, they made a pact. All the Primes are like, listen, we're not going to destroy any sun that has life near it. So they decided not to destroy the sun, but the Fallen was like, I'm going to do it anyway. And so he built something that's Harvest the Sun, and it was inside the pyramids. Oh, that's right. And there were racist robots and heaven at the end.

And the Constructicons. That's what we needed to... Well, the thing is about the... Apparently, Hasbro requested putting the Constructicons. That's what we needed. We needed to... Well, the thing is about the... Apparently Hasbro requested putting the Constructicons in. But there's apparently...

I didn't know this. There were two sets of Constructicons. One that make Devastator. Is his name Devastator? And one that had just

turned into trucks and whatever. Oh, there's two sets. Yeah. See, I would never have remembered that. Nope. Yeah.

Didn't have the Constructicons as a kid. No, me neither. Had the ones that turned into Menasor. What was that? I had also had the... Bruticus? I had Bruticus, sure. Cool.

Yeah. He was cool. Had all them. All them? Pretty great. All them toys. Nobody needs to know. So, yeah.

Michael Bay described the tone of this film as Ben-Hur fused with Apocalypse Now. No, it's none of those things. What? Why? No. Is that just because they go and try and find someone? In the desert? Yeah.

Like Ben-Hur does? Yeah, no, like in Apocalypse Now, they're looking for Kurtz. Oh, okay. Like, is that... Yeah, I guess The Fallen is the Marlon Brando character? No, the Marlon Brando character is the SR-71 Blackbird, the really old one. Okay. With a cane, maybe?

Yeah, who had a cane, that's right. Fuck a Bayesian idiot. Well, to be fair, this came out during the writer's strike. But to be fair... A lot of things shouldn't have come out. You know what they should have said? They should have just said, hey, everybody, read a book. No movies this year.

No movies this year. No movies this year. Just read a book. It's fine. Oh, sorry. That product placement, it was the highest number of paid product placements. It was 47, not 71, like I said.

Okay, well, that's still a lot. So I apologize. So yeah, there you go. Also, it also says that you would have liked this. Optimus Prime was originally going to appear as the iconic truck trailer.

Yeah. Would have combined with it to make himself bigger. Correct. They didn't do that, though. Ugh. Boo. Do you remember how brutal Optimus Prime is in this movie compared to the cartoons?

Again, not to be one of those guys who loves nostalgia and so on, loves it, they want to marry it or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That annoys me when people can't get past things that they loved when they were a kid or whatever. Do whatever. Why are you looking at me like that? How dare you?

No, you're okay with it, right? You like change for the better. It's fine. You like change for the better. Yeah. For example, the Iron Man. I like change for the parking meter. You know what I mean. How dare you? No, you're okay with it, right? You like change for the better. You like change for the better. Yeah. For example, the Iron Man... I like change

for the parking meter. You know what I mean? How's that? For example, the Iron Man Jarvis thing. Yeah, that's fine. They change him into a robot butler

but it works. Because people don't have butlers anymore. Exactly. Exactly. People do have artificially intelligent house computers.

So it works. Oh, that's something I was going to say. Whatever it's called, the SR-71 Blackbird guy that turns into an old Transformer with a beard and a walking stick.

A lot of people say he's based visually on Warren Ellis, the comic book author, because he's got a beard and a walking stick and he's kind of cranky. I don't know. Maybe look that up. I hope that's true. Look that up. Everybody look up Transformers Warren Ellis. And he's Jetfire.

Is that right? Yeah, he's Jetfire, yeah. And he's a Decepticon who turned into a regular... He's a Decepticon who decides he doesn't want to be a Decepticon anymore. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. There's...

Man. That whole scene, I remember... And there's that little robot toy that follows Megan Fox around. Yeah. And, like, humps her leg and whatever. Yeah. It's bizarre. It's just bizarre.

Yeah, I guess that is the dilemma. Like, you were saying earlier in the first one that they took out a lot of dialogue at the Decepticons to make them seem more menacing. Okay. Which, I guess, is true, but it does kind of make them a little bit more boring. Yeah. Compared to the cartoon characters, you had like Megatron and Starscream and stuff.

They all had their distinct personalities. Yeah. But they were also incredibly annoying. So there is, I guess, in a way, they're kind of damned if they do and damned if they don't. You're right. They're kind of boring and kind of generic and interchangeable or incredibly annoying. So, yeah. I feel like we got both though

we did we did get both in many ways we lost on every level we did this movie though was apparently

going to lead into Unicron the third movie was originally going to be Unicron because the writers are

Robert Orsi who we've talked about before he did Star Trek and Alex Kurtzman

they were going to do part three right they didn't end up doing it. So it ended up being about a space bridge. Yep.

And not Unicron. Uh-huh. But I think I said this last week. I think we'll see Unicron at one point. I hope so. Because things get bigger and bigger and whatever until eventually we'll see Unicron. I thought it was interesting in that Transformers 2

that they need to get from wherever to Egypt. Yeah. And we meet a character, we meet Jetfire, who's an SR-71 Blackbird, who can go up into like low Earth orbit and then go places really quickly. And I'm like, oh, that's how they're going to do it. But no, he can just generate a space bridge. That's, what's the point then? Whatever.

Yeah, whatever. Well, I think that was also written in because Shia LaBeouf injured his hand in a car crash. Oh, yeah. And when he goes through that teleport thing, doesn't he injure his hand and his hand's in a bandage for the rest of the movie? Okay. But he could also have banged his hand on like a... Just anything.

Just anything, yeah. Just anything at all. Man. Yeah, what kind of screenwriter and or director's like, oh, that guy injured his hand. How will we write this into the script? Will he bang his hand on something? Will he be shot? No, let's have him be injured in a space bridge accident.

And also, do you want to hear who the actors from the films and the director, what their favourite Transformers are? Yes. Shia LaBeouf, Scalpel. Don't know who that is. I think it's the little annoying one, probably. Okay. Which is the Shia LaBeouf of Transformers. So Shia LaBeouf Which is the Shia LaBeouf of Transformers.

So Shia LaBeouf isn't the Shia LaBeouf of Transformers? No. There's a couple of them. I think, yeah. Megan Fox prefers Devastator? Because of the balls, probably. Why do people hate Megan Fox for no reason? See, that was a really cheap show we had, but it's fine.

Don't worry about it. Yeah, you're right. I don't know. They're good on it. Whatever. Michael Bay's favourite were the twins. Those racist... Of course they were. Oh, wait. Are they the racist ones or the ones that you said that aren't twins? I'm confused. Doesn't know. They're good on it. Whatever. Michael Bay's favourite were the twins. Those racist... Of course they were.

Oh, wait. Are they the racist ones or the ones that you said that aren't twins? I'm confused. Doesn't matter. Also, this is in IMDB. And I don't know how this got in here. Somebody's clearly not moderated this. It says, Beetlejuice was offered a voice acting role and met with Michael Bay.

Beetlejuice? Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice. But the meeting did not go well and Beetlejuice angrily turned down the role. I didn't make that up. I wasn't like, what a hilarious joke. I'll just bring this up. Is this one of your autocorrect escapades?

This is, no. This is on IMDb. If you go to IMDb, Revenge of the Fallen, it is in there. Did they name Michael Keaton? I don't know. Well, that's what I thought. So, there you go.

Yeah. Couple more bits of trivia, Mason. That's a, you know, that's a fun bit of trivia. Is that Michael Keaton is the only Batman who is also Beetlejuice. That's not even mine. A friend of mine does that. If you just want to mess with people, just give them that fact. He just always spouts that fact.

According to Robert Orsi, here we go, the script struggled to maintain a more evenly balanced focus between the humans and the robots and to moderate the humour more. He said the Transformers... So, yeah, they struggled with the Transformers' more intense war balanced with outrageous jokes. Pretty outrageous.

I don't remember any jokes. How dare they you really spat that out when you said jokes jokes Jetfire was

originally envisioned to have an accent like an American southern preacher because of stereotypes of course

I added the stereotypes yeah because they needed more stereotypes in that film now was this the movie where there

was the competition to get Optimus Prime to say something no that was the first one okay do you want to talk do you was this the movie where there was the competition to get Optimus Prime to say something? No, that was the first one. Okay. Do you want to talk, do you want to explain that?

No, there was a, because Peter Cullen had come back for the first Transformers film, there was a competition. They said, people of the internet, can you,

what would you like Optimus Prime to say, you know, in his amazing Optimus Prime voice? And they went with one must stand, one must fall,

or something like that. Or one of his classics that was on his, like, profile card on And they went with one must stand, one must fall. Or something like that. Or one of his classics was on his profile card on the back of his toy box or whatever. Sure. But there was an internet campaign that got thousands and thousands of votes for Optimus Prime to say, well, I guess I'll transform her into a truck now.

Right? And it's one of those ones where, you know, it garnered the most votes, but they were like, oh, well, this is people are just being silly. No, you put this out there. You had the people vote. It won. He should have said, well, I guess I'll transform her into a truck now.

Better movie. Better movie. Yeah, absolutely. So what else do we say about this movie? That's the worst. I feel real down this whole episode. You know what I mean? You're hungover.

That's often the case. I'm not, though. Are you a little bit hungover? No. Okay. Just talking about these movies, I don't know. It just bums me out. Should we just quit now?

No. Okay. Let's continue bumming out the audience as well, then. Best movie ever, worst movie ever. Worst movie ever. Yeah, definitely. best movie ever worst movie ever worst movie ever

yeah definitely there's that sequence though where the Decepticons are trying to infiltrate a military base or something this is all quite vague

oh yeah and one's like a ball bearing that was quite fun that was quite good yeah that was one as well where you can only see it

from certain angles because it was like razor thin and it would turn on its side and you could barely see it so there was some creativity in it. Yeah. If only most of the characters could be interesting and unique and not just weird grey carbon

copies of one another. Or just people screaming at each other. Yeah, yeah. I think this was probably the worst in terms of like action sequences that all look the same. Yes. It is the worst Transformers movie. Correct.

Right? Yeah. That being said. Best movie ever. No, worst movie ever. Yes, definitely. Transformers movie correct right yeah best movie ever no worst movie ever yes definitely Transformers Dark of the Moon the most recent entry until next week Mason

I wrote here I hated it but I hated it but I hated it less great than the other ones the most we can hope for ultimately

yeah yeah and again I haven't really seen this one I've seen it in fits and starts I've seen like I watched some of it, and then I fast-forwarded through,

got to, like, a major action sequence, and I'm like, well, I'll just skip through to the end of this. And then I did, but the action sequence just kept going, and I skipped, like, another 10 minutes, and it just kept going. And I skipped, like, another 20 minutes, and it was still going, so... And then the movie ended.

Yeah, and there was a lot of collapsing buildings. There was a lot of collapsing buildings. Yeah, okay, good, good. Sounds like you have seen it. I'm thinking of the correct film. Great. Tell me about Transformers 3. Sure.

Look, I had incredibly low expectations going in. Why? The last one was so good. But I was still like, this is terrible. Like, it's still terrible. Like, maybe I say that I didn't hate it as much because I hated the previous one so much. Uh-huh. Because I expected something from it.

Right. But this, I that what annoyed me probably the most though there's a couple things i'll get through them there's a bit where optimus prime gets tangled up in some cables sure and then it cuts away to tad hamilton and who's and tyrese gibson too fast too furious trying to shoot a space bridge because there was a space bridge that was going to bring through, what's their planet called? Cybertron. Okay, right. Cybertron.

Okay. Right. And also an intercut between that and Shia LaBeouf and Patrick Dempsey, like slapping at each other. Oh, that's right. I remember the slap fight. Yeah. And then it cuts back 20 minutes later and Optimus Prime is still tangled in these cables. But he wasn't like wrapped up in them.

Right. He flew into them. Right. And then just we left him for 20 minutes and came back and he's still like, ugh, trying to get out of them. Wow, okay. And he's got a sword attached to his arm. Yeah.

He kills a lot of people with it. Yeah, he chopped some heads off in the first one. Yeah, I meant to say this before. He's really brutal in this, isn't he? Yeah, you mentioned that, yeah. Oh, did I? You did. Okay.

So shut up about it. You've had your chance. Shut your mouth, mate. And this one, from the story I remember, a ship from Cybertron crashed on the moon. Great. And the moon landing was a ruse to check it out, as I mentioned before.

And sitting up there was the Prime who was the predecessor to Optimus Prime called... Chaz Prime. Chaz Prime. Was it Maximus Prime? No. Sentinel Prime, sorry. Okay. Who was voiced by Leonard Nimoy.

Great. Who voiced Galvatron in the original movie. And also, what I hated about it, sorry, I'm going to go back to this. It had this amazing cast. I'll list some of the names here. Patrick Dempsey. Tad Hamilton. Josh Duhamel.

A car from Too Fast Too Furious. Andy Daly. Racism. Andy Daly wasn't it? You're right. Andy Daly. Francis McDormand. Is that how you say it?

Yeah. Ken Jeong. John Malkovich. Yeah. But the thing is, these are comedic actors, a lot of them, or have done comedy. Yeah. I don't consider John Malkovich a Yeah. But the thing is, these are comedic actors, a lot of them, or have done comedy. Yeah.

Like even, I don't consider John Malkovich a comedic actor, but he can be funny. Yeah. He's proven that. He has comic timing. If only by his bizarre behaviour,

sure. Exactly. But Michael Bay, he doesn't understand the structure of jokes. Right. And how a joke works and how to set something up.

It's a joke when somebody shows their butt. Exactly. Or like has a weird accent. Yeah. Or is Asian. Right. Like, do joke works and how to set something up. It's a joke when somebody shows their butt. Exactly. Or like has a weird accent. Yeah. Or is Asian. Right. Like, do you know what I mean?

Yeah. Like the Ken Jeong's character, his last name is Wang. Yep. And I don't think that's because, oh, that's probably a traditional Asian name. I just think he thought that was funny. Wang's a funny word. Yeah. Look, maybe I'm wrong.

No, you're right. Maybe I'm not giving him enough credit. Yeah, yeah. But why would you hire those people? And do nothing with them. Yeah'm not giving him enough credit. Yeah, yeah. But why would you hire those people? And do nothing with them, yeah. It's baffling. Yeah, yeah. I don't understand.

Well, I think maybe that was, it might have been a case of, you know, let's hire these people who are very funny and good actors and what have you. Let's see what they do. And then what they did was too subtle for the film. Like, it sort of got, you know, snowed under by just the collapsing buildings and stuff. Yeah. Jesus. That last sequence. You know, this movie's actually shorter than Revenge of the Fallen.

Really? Yeah. It seemed much longer, given the fact that I skimmed through it in 20 minutes. It still seemed longer. How is that? This is also the movie that famously Megan Fox was fired from. Correct. By Steven Spielberg.

Because apparently she compared Michael Bay to Hitler. I remember that. Which I guess is an unfair comparison. Yeah, probably. But, yeah, that's... And they had the other girl come in. Who was fine, I thought. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley.

Yeah, who seemed all right, I guess. Great, sure. I have no memory of her whatsoever, so she was probably fine. Do you remember at the end? Nope. I remember at the end. Great.

When Sentinel Prime, who turned on Optimus Prime, because he was in league with the Decepticons because he wanted to bring Cybertron to Earth. Okay. He wanted to keep the Transformers alive no matter at what cost or whatever, whatever. Why did he need to bring Cybertron to Earth?

Good question. I don't have your answer. Fantastic. I don't have your answer. Fantastic. And then, as he's about to kill Optimus Prime, Megatron is goaded by this girl, Rosie Huntington Whitefish, whatever, to kill Sentinel Prime. Uh-huh.

And then Megatron does. She's like, hey, Megatron, you're not very good, are you? And maybe... Maybe this guy's better than you. And he's like, I'll bloody show you. And then he kills him wow but then there's also a point where then optimus and then he said megatron says look optimus prime let's put all our differences aside truce and optimus prime just shoots him in the head kills

him executes him not that it matters in these movies no because jazz came back yeah so what you're saying is everybody in this movie is a bad person. Yes. Or an idiot. Or an idiot. Yeah, yeah. Here's some trivia though, Mason. I'm ready. Peter Cullen's favourite moment was when Optimus Prime meets the astronaut Buzz Aldrin. That's nice, I think. Yeah. There you go. Michael Bay swore that... Wait, wait, wait, wait, though. Was Buzz Aldrin still

alive when this happened? I think he's still alive. Oh, he's dead now, isn't he? Yeah. Oh, maybe. I don't know. So my question is, did they get Buzz Aldrin's permission for this, or did he die and then they bought permission from his estate and then just CGI'd his face? You know how they do that for ads now? Yeah, yeah. Like James Dean's dead, but they'll just CGI...

Or Steve McQueen or whatever, and they'll just CGI their face on an ad for washing powder or something? The Mars Bar ad with Bruce Lee. Oh, yeah. Remember that one? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Bruce Lee would never eat a Mars Bar. No, never. He'd die, probably, if he ate a Mars bar. That's probably what killed him. He probably had an aspirin and a Mars bar, and then just all his organs packed in. It's a deadly secret. Michael Bay swore that the Autobot twins, so I guess Skids and Mudflap, I guess they're I don't know.

Yeah, yeah. They were not going to be in the film and promised $25,000 to whoever could spot them. We're not going to be in the film and promise $25,000 to whoever could spot them. However, they do appear in one scene when the directors arrive at Nest, which is like the Autobot team. So he owes presumably hundreds or thousands or millions of people $25,000 each. I didn't spot them. What an idiot. Yeah, but I don't think that ever came through.

Because if that came out, we'd know about that, right? Yeah, yeah, definitely. People find everything in movies. Remember when Mel Gibson put that one frame of himself in that trailer for Apocalypto? Yeah, I remember that. That was great. And he made a bet with somebody else that no one's going to find this, or he said someone will find it.

Somebody found it in like one second. Like immediately. Yeah, yeah. Like straight away. And it's just like an assortment of like aztec you know primitive natives from thousands of years ago whatever and then just him in like a plaid shirt with a crazy man beard and they're just like yeah thumbs up for a weird anti-semitic racist american he's pretty good he's all right but he's all right my book no he's not he sucks sucks. According to VFX supervisor Scott Farrar,

Sentinel Prime was physically modelled on Sean Connery, who was offered the role. Scottish robot. Huh. So there you go. Scobot. Also, he was meant to be coloured yellow, Sentinel Prime. Do you remember him from the cartoon?

Vaguely, yeah. Okay, yeah. He was supposed to be yellow, but he changed into a firetruck, and firetrucks are standard red. What? Yeah, I know, right? Yeah, okay, yeah. It was supposed to be yellow, but he changed it to a firetruck, and firetrucks are standard red. What? Yeah, I know, right? Yeah.

So it had to be recoloured at the expense of thousands of dollars. That's a massive oversight, right? Like, we... A child knows this. Yeah, exactly. What colour's a firetruck? Red. There's nowhere in the world is a firetruck any colour other than red, right?

No. Yeah. No. There we go. I got some grim trivia from this some grivia some grivia yeah filming was temporarily delayed in september 2nd on september 2nd 2010 when an extra was seriously injured during a stunt um in hammond indiana a steel cable snapped from a car being towed and hit the extras car damaging her skull the extra had to

undergo brain surgery and the injury left her permanently brain damaged, paralyzed on her left side and her left eye stitched shut. It was an $18 million settlement from that. Imagine you're left brain damaged from a Transformers movie. In many ways we are. No, that's very insensitive.

I apologize. But you look at like Ben-Hur and remember like people were trampled to death in Ben-Hur. And that's very insensitive I apologise but you look at like Ben-Hur and remember like people were trampled to death in Ben-Hur and that's tragic but I guess if there is any silver lining in that

which there isn't yeah Ben-Hur is remembered as a movie that people seem to enjoy yeah yeah and they had that amazing chariot race uh huh but like

you just get your brain whipped out of your skull on the set of a Transformers movie Transformers movie not only that but the threequel ugh Like, you just get your brain whipped out of your skull on the set of a Transformers movie. Not only that, but the threequel. Ugh. Patrick Dempsey, Mason, is a car enthusiast.

Ugh. Like his character Dylan. Dylan. That classic Transformers villain. He seems like a Dylan, doesn't he? Ugh. Patrick Dempsey for Doctor Strange, though, Mason. Nope.

I'm not on board with that. He was a villain. Unless I said I was on board with that earlier in the last podcast I can't remember probably not though this is interesting sort of an early draft of the script had the Autobot

in the arc named Ultra Magnus so instead of Sentinel Prime they were going to do Ultra Magnus as the villain as the villain don't know if I like that

me neither I mean it's I like the design of Ultra Magnus do you? yeah cool me too I'm glad I'm glad we've come to a consensus on Ultra Magnus.

I think he should have been the leader instead of Rodimus Prime. Wow. That's a big call to make on a movie from the 80s. We'll talk about that later. Okay. This one's just for you, this piece of trivia. Okay. Eddie Peppertone auditioned for the role of Jerry Wang.

Really? Interesting. You like Eddie Peppertone? Yeah, I love Eddie Peppertone. Yeah, so There you go. Alright, Michael Bay convinced the Driller's destruction.

Also, I think it would have been great to see Eddie Papperton dressed as an Asian man because that's probably what they would have insisted.

They wouldn't have changed the name. They would have made him Asian. They would have been the worst. Because weren't the Decepticons killing

guys who were involved in the space mission? I don't know. Why am I asking you? Why ask me? I'm out of my depth here. This is my favourite bit, I think.

Last piece of trivia. Do you remember there was a big driller that was tearing down skyscrapers? It was like a big drill worm. Yeah, I remember that. Tentacles and stuff. Tentacles and stuff. He conceived of that while doing stomach crunch exercises.

What is great about this, right? Yes. He was clearly doing exercise and then finished doing exercise and then went to people and be like, listen, I was doing stomach crunches exercises and I thought about this right. He didn't just say, hey guys, I

had an idea for this. He had to go and tell them, hey, I was doing some stomach crunches and this. Okay, yeah, that is an, hey, I was doing some stomach crunches and this. Okay, yeah, that is an amazing piece of trivia. I enjoyed that a lot. Thank you very much. That is so good. I think most... That's probably how he tells people

about most of his ideas. It's an exercise he's doing. Or a girl he's banging. Yeah, exactly. Or a pile of cocaine that he loves. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And then... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Listen, I was just working on my lats, and I thought, what about racists, robots? How about that? What a great guy. Yeah. Yeah. We enjoy the work of Michael Bay, don't we? I don't know.

Ironically, and then maybe... I don't even think so. No. I don't even think so. Yeah, so I guess worst movie ever for me. Worst movie ever, certainly, yeah. Mason. Yes.

There is one more Transformers movie we've got to talk about. Ooh! Little or known, in some ways, the fourth Transformers movie, Battleship. Correct. There are a lot of parallels in those movies. There's also, like, a whip-chainy thing that tears down a building and stuff. There's, like, a lot of shots that are very similar. And Battleship came off the back of Transformers because people were like,

well, Battleship was Hasbro also. Oh, yeah. That's why that exists. Right. That's weird, isn't it? Yes. You seen Battleship? No.

I know Rihanna's in it. Yeah. Right? It's as good as the first Transformers. Really? Maybe. That is a big call because. Right? It's as good as the first Transformers. Really? Maybe. That is a big call because it doesn't look even as good as that. Surely it's total nonsense, right?

Okay, to be fair, I saw it on DVD, not even DVD. I may have got a copy of it somewhere from someone. Sure. Someone lent me a DVD. You got it on HD, DVD. Yeah. Great. But I remember not being, I remember just being, this is okay.

Peter Berg did it and he's my director isn't he sure is allegedly I mean he's down a few notches because he released Battleship he sure did

so there you go Mason but there is a fourth Transformers movie which is actually the first yes in many ways chronologically certainly literally

literally it's the first one yeah it's the one from 1986 sure is Transformers the literally it's the first one yeah it's the one from 1986 sure is transformers the movie it's the only one called transformers the movie the movie yeah is that right yeah transformers the movie the movie what are we going what's going on with that well basically it's set in the far-flung future of 2005 oh will we reach there will we reach that technological utopia of 2005 i know you love futures that are now we've passed yeah that's pretty great there's some of my favorites yeah so it's it's in the future we're in the future and uh so basically unicron which is the giant

planet-sized planet evil planet wink spoiler alerts later is is it'sater, it devours planets. Like, it's out there, floating around the universe, eating planets. Like you wouldn't believe. Voiced by Orson Welles. Correct. His final role, I think.

Yeah. And then he died. He did die. It's a shame. What happens in this one? So, it's going to devour Cybertron. It devours a couple of the Autobot moon bases. It does.

It's set in the future where the Decepticons have taken over Cybertron completely. They run Cybertron at this point. And the Autobots, like they have a base on Earth and they have a couple of moon bases. Why do they leave Cybertron originally in the cartoon? Is it because it's dying? No, it's just the war and I think the Autobots are off getting supplies or something. Okay. I don't know, it's a bit vague.

Sure. There probably is a reason, I can't remember what it is. Gotcha. Yeah. And basically, it's at this point that the Autobots, they need more energy on, so they're like, we'll go to Autobot City, which is on Earth. And when they're flying there, the Decepticons attack and just murder all of them and this is the first like this this i imagine the auto auto transforms the movie shocked a lot of children

and a lot of parents who took their children because trans in transformers there's a lot of like red and blue lasers shooting about and a lot of people you know a lot of autobots and decepticons ducking for cover yeah and people get hit but they're fine and then there's a lot of people you know a lot of Autobots and Decepticons ducking for cover yeah and people get hit but they're fine and then there's a lot of you know there's a there's a brief skirmish and then the Decepticons

are like Decepticons retreat you know whatever this movie starts with the murder of a lot of Autobots yeah like really brutally

yeah yeah like there's a point blank like at one point Ironhide like there's this action sequence on this Autobot ship and the Autobots are ambushed

and get a lot of holes blown through them or whatever. And there's a point where the Decepticons have won this battle and they're like, now let's set the course for Autobot City and let's set this ambush. And you see what's left of Ironhide sort of crawl up next to Megatron's leg like, you haven't got me.

I'm still got some fighting spirit. And then just Megatron puts his gun right to Ironhide's temple and just blows his head off. And it's just, I don't remember being, like, I don't remember the crowd reaction because I was a child and who knows at that point. But man, that was pretty brutal.

People die in that. And I guess because they had a new line of Transformers to be released I was going to say and the idea is you phase out all the old ones

by killing them mercilessly because the kids already have them and there's no point they don't need to buy them again and so we need to

clean house and bring in the new ones we want Judd Nelson's Rodimus Prime we want Hot Rod we want Cup we want Blur we want Springer.

Jerry Springer, the talk show host, was in it for some reason. We want RC, who never got an action figure ever. Oh, really? Yeah. How do you know that? Well, I just know. It's one of those things. I would have had it, because I had literally all the other ones.

Really? Yeah. Holy crap. I had the Sharkticon. What did the Sharkticon change into? A shark. No, other than that. A man. Okay. Because they don't change into men A shark. No, other than that. A man.

Because they don't change into men in the movie, do they? Yeah, they do. Oh, do they? Yes. Great. God damn it. What an animation, though. Yeah.

Anyway, the Decepticons attack Autobot City. There's a brutal action sequence. Yeah. Optimus Prime is killed. He passes on the Matrix of Leadership to Hot Rod. Yeah. Why do you need that to be the leader? Well, actually, he passes on...

He passes it to Ultra Magnus. Ultra Magnus. But Hot Rod catches it. Yeah, it's not destined for him. It's destined for Hot Rod yeah why do you need that to be the leader well actually he passes on he passes it to Ultra Magnus Ultra Magnus but Hot Rod catches it it's not destined for him it's destined for Hot Rod yeah for us yeah for us

yeah or Shia LaBeouf because he becomes he goes to Transformer Heaven or something yeah I guess it's all it's always leading to that yeah

and anyway there's a lot of action sequences there's a there's a non-stop 80s soundtrack to it it does not stop does it when you say non-stop 80s soundtrack to it. It does not stop, does it? When you say non-stop, you mean it literally does not stop for a second, does it? Yeah, it just keeps going and going.

There's a Weird Al Yankovic song at one point. There's a Junkyard. There's a Junkyard action sequence. With Eric Idle. Eric Idle is Rekgar, the leader of the Junkions. Yeah, and they reassemble Ultra Magnus. Yeah, yeah. In a way that they somehow couldn't do to Optimus Prime.

It's another one of those things where people die in ways that they can be rebuilt and not rebuilt. Well, Optimus Prime turned grey, though, if you remember. Oh, that's a really good point, actually, yeah. That's a really good point. Man. Anyway, uh... Anyway, Unicron wants to get rid of the Autobots, blah, blah, blah, so he retrieves what's left of Megatron,

who's been thrown out into space. By Starscream. Yeah, correct. And he's rebuilt as Galatron, who's been thrown out into space. By Starscream. Yeah, correct. And he's rebuilt as Galvatron and et cetera, et cetera. And it's pretty good fun. Yeah. Do you think it holds up? I still think the animation's pretty good.

Yeah, I agree with that. I haven't seen it recently. I remember when I watched it a few years ago, what I found really great was the non-stop soundtrack. Yeah. Like, it's... I mean, there's got to be... Dan Bush's The Touch appears twice. That's a great song, don't get me wrong.

Absolutely. And actually, I do like that Transformers theme from it. By Lion, by 80s glam metal band Lion. The very, very glam reinterpretation of it. That's pretty amazing. That's actually on my iPod. Yeah, mine too. I listen to that occasionally, yeah.

Man. There was also... What um i was gonna say about this they had the the swear word in it someone says shit in it which was which was apparently quite controversial yeah uh at the time there was something else i was gonna say about that i can't remember it was important yeah the death of optimus prime correct yes the the idea was they were bringing out a gi joe movie and a Transformers movie around the same time. Transformers 1 ended up coming out first. Right.

The people behind the G.I. Joe movie decided we're going to kill off Duke. Right. And Transformers thought that's a great idea we'll do the same thing

we'll kill off Optimus Prime. Optimus Prime was killed. That came out first and he was killed and it was such a negative reaction. They kept Duke alive.

Good idea. In the G.I. Joe movie. In fact, what they did, and I... I remember at the end of... At the end of the Transformers, the animated movie, the voiceover actually says, Optimus Prime will return at the end. And apparently they added that for international release,

and it's on the DVDs. In the original American release, they don't mention that. And I think they kind of had to, because, like, there would have been a lot of very despondent children leaving that cinema. Doesn't he come back in the... Because he comes back in Generation 2 cartoon. Yeah, yeah.

Because that leads straight into it, doesn't it? Where he's evil at first, but then he eventually comes back for goods. Yes, that's pretty much... It's very convoluted, but yes. Sure. Anyway, the movie ends with... It all culminates with an Autobot versus Decepticon battle

with Unicron, who turns out he can turn into a giant robot man. Does that make sense? Not at all. It's complicated. Anyway, and Hot Rod unleashes the power of the Matrix of Leadership and he becomes Rodimus Prime, who becomes a sweet RV. Does he? It's a terrible-looking RV. Does he become slightly bigger? Yeah, he becomes taller. He Prime who becomes a sweet RV. Does he? It's a terrible looking RV.

Does he become slightly bigger? Yeah he becomes taller. He becomes taller and more weathered and he becomes like an RV.

Like the weirdest kind of future RV. Like that's not a cool vehicle. If anything you should have started like that and gone into the hot rod.

Exactly yeah but it's an RV with flames like on the side and big tail pipes and stuff but it's terrible anyway. People generally do not love Rodimus Prime, though, do they? I love him.

Do you really? That's fine. I don't know. Best movie ever, then? Best movie ever. Yeah, I'd agree with that. Soundtrack especially. Soundtrack especially.

Look, I'll probably, again, like the other ones, I won't go back and watch it, but it probably is the... And I hate to be one of those guys who loves nostalgia so much he wants to marry it, but it's probably the best Transformers movie. Probably, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Colin Lagan actually wrote in. He summed this movie up nicely.

Do you want to hear this? Yes. He said it's four dickheads. No, he didn't say that. Okay. He said... No, no, that's fair. I distinctly recall my five-year-old self

being absolutely gobsmacked at the cinema seeing this movie. And to this day, I still classify it as best movie ever. Nothing like a hard 80s rock soundtrack accompanying the gruesome deaths of multiple beloved characters to snap a kid into reality. Oh, boy. Even if it was intended as a means to manipulate me into buying toys.

Yeah, it absolutely was. Yeah, and he's pretty much nailed that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So there you go. Well, Mason, sometimes I like... Yeah, there's actually a quote. I'm looking at the wikipedia page here and

it it's basically from the story consultant from the movie and he basically yeah he just says look they we just basically just wiped out the 1984 product line in a charge of the light brigade um whoever wasn't discontinued stumbled to the end of the film it's basically it love it yeah yeah we've got here Mason questions for Mason because sometimes I like to ask you questions to see what you know

to see if you've been paying attention to pop culture okay over the course of your life I doubt I have but go ahead can you name three

Transformers from the Michael Bay films excluding Optimus Prime Bumblebee Megatron and Starscream and not the ones that we've talked about

today that we brought up which ones can't I say the ones that we've talked about I'd we brought up. Which ones can't I say? The ones that we've talked about. I can't say Megatron. Yep. Can't say Jazz because we mentioned Jazz.

Boy, this is going to be difficult. Soundwave. Good one. Satellite. Yep, nice. Good. How many? Three.

I've got two left. The Scorpion one, which I'm assuming is Scorponok, but maybe it isn't. Sure, I'll pay that. Great. One to go. Boy, this is going to be tricky. There's a girl one in some of them. No, doesn't count.

If you'd made more memorable characters... Is there a panther one in one of them? Yeah, it's in Ravage. He's in two, I think. There you go. He's part ofavage. He's in two, I think. There you go. He's part of the infiltration of the military base, I think. I think he's three. Because he vomits out the ball-bearing robot, I think. I'm going to take that.

Okay, so they send in Ravage, who's basically built to infiltrate, who then vomits up a... Ball-bearing monster, yeah. Or whatever, I don't know. Challenge completed. That's right. whatever I don't know Challenge completed That's right So I don't actually know Like if I didn't look those up

I would I don't Right right I don't know Okay Mason Which Transformers movie was it Where they have to find an artifact That will turn the tide

Of the Autobot Decepticon war All of them Yes Great You got the cube You got the matrix You got the space bridge Yep

There you go I'll be talking about this Why does the Allspark kill Megaton But also bring him back I guess you got the matrix, you got the space bridge. Yep. There you go. I'll be talking about this. Why does the Allspark kill Megaton but also bring him back? I guess he got all the Allsparks. We got too much energy? Yeah. It's a Hulk situation. What's your favorite action sequence from the Michael Bay movies?

The helicopter thing, right? It's definitely the helicopter one, yeah. Yeah. Cool. Because it's brutal. And it's the first one? And it doesn't... Yeah, and it's before we realized that they're all kind of ridiculous characters.

You know what I did like about that movie? I kind of do like the look of bloody gun face in the new one. Okay. So I'm excited to look forward to that, whatever that's going to be. But, you know, I liked how in the... I think it's... You see it more in the first one. The Decepticons have holograms of people inside them.

Yeah. So it looks like there's somebody driving them. Yeah, yeah. My favourite sequence is the one where there's Autobots spinning and shooting at the same time. Oh, yeah.

Do you remember that? Yeah, I vaguely remember that one time that happened, yeah. Okay, here we go. Which is closer to the mythology, the Transformers movies or the X-Men movies? X-Men movies, surely.

Okay. Right? Just checking. They both deviate quite a bit. They do. I think we forgive a lot more for the X-Men because they're watchable. Yeah, yeah. And also they all have sort of...

You can tell them apart. You can tell them apart. They're recognisable. They're recognisable as their source material. Yes. As coming from that source material. recognizable as what as their source material yes it's been coming from that source material like if you like if you put a robot neck if you put michael bay megatron next to cartoon megatron and you said what's the connection nobody would pick that up you wouldn't know you wouldn't know

next question have you ever tried to transform one of the new transformers from the movies like the actual toys i thought you're gonna say have i ever tried to transform have you as a child and then like a couple of weeks ago but yeah have you ever if you ever had a go yeah i think you loaned me well you wasn't my as my brothers all right it was like a finger as an adult it was like a finger trap yeah like it's maybe i'm an idiot but i remember the mega okay good okay do you think they should introduce a transformer called Maybe I'm an idiot, but I remember the movie a lot simpler. We're definitely idiots. Okay, good. Okay. Do you think they should introduce a Transformer called Optimus Prime and he changes into a moose or a bowl of moose?

Yeah. Good. Both. He can be a triple changer. Triple changer. We have the technology. He becomes a moose, the animal, and a bowl of moose. Yes.

That's your two options. Do you think in the new movie there will be a bit where a human falls really far and then a Transformer... Catches him. At the last second. In a big robot hand? Definitely. Yeah.

This isn't a question, but I'll frame it as a question. Okay. Let's do a... Sounds like a threat more than anything. Go ahead. Let's have a Starscream impersonation competition. Okay. You ready?

You go first. Wait, I'll go first mighty Megatron Megatron okay good right in listeners yep who was best in fact figure out

who was who why would most people wouldn't even know okay would you rather see this is the last question okay would you rather see I like that that's his. Okay. Would you rather see...

I like that that's his only memorable thing that he says also. I like how we both prepped for it as well, like, cleared the throats. Yeah. I made a stance like I was a Shakespearean actor. Would you rather see Michael Bay Transformers movies forever, or they cancel it, we never see another Transformers movie? Michael Bay Transformers movies forever or they cancel it. We never see another Transformers movie. Michael Bay Transformers movies forever. Okay.

Because, you know. Better than nothing? No, not even that. I just want to see how ridiculous they go. Sure. Like, if he had to keep making them, where would that go? Yeah, yeah. Fair point.

Okay. Well, I wasn't going to say that, but you've changed my mind. I agree. You were going to say no more Transformers movies ever. Because, it doesn't matter. I would say statistically he has to produce at least one good film at some point, right? Yeah, but also statistically you could do this forever and there has to be a director who just makes terrible movies forever.

That's also a good point. You're absolutely right. If we're going to bring statistics into it, Mason. There has to be a successful movie director who just never makes a good movie. Yeah, never makes a good movie. You're right. The future of the franchise, though, Mason.

Yes. Remember that guy we were talking about who was a producer before? Uh-huh. This is what he said about it. I think one of the things that people underestimate about the Transformers mythology is how rich it is. How rich it is. How rich

it will make us. If you actually look at the Bible, if you would, there's an enormous number of characters. There's a hell of a lot of storylines, etc. Is he claiming to... Is he saying he wants to introduce Bible characters? I hope so. And he means the Transformers Bible. Yeah, I assume so. Or he

means Russell Crowe's Noah from the movie Noah. Oh yeah. I would love that. So yeah, as I said, they've considered doing it Noah from the movie Noah oh yeah I'd love that so yeah as I said they've considered doing it in space now also I hate prequels what do you want to say sorry what would you like I'd like to see Unicron yep uh don't see Galvatron yeah I'd like to see Galvatron no actually I don't know if I

would because cartoon Megatron and cartoon Galvatron are quite distinctive characters but cut like movie Galvatron are quite distinctive characters. But movie Galvatron would be about the same as movie Megatron, so it doesn't really make any difference. He'd probably be more jagged. Yeah, certainly more jagged. I'd like to see some sort of battleship transformer. Oh, yeah, that'd be cool.

Is there one? I'm sure there is, but I can't remember off the top of my head. Sure. There's a boat one that rusts. Yeah, definitely. Boto Rusto? Yeah, that's the one. Yeah, cool. I'd love to see, but I can't remember off the top of my head. Yeah, sure. There's a boat one that rusts. Yeah, definitely. Boto Rusto? Yeah, that's the one. Yeah, cool.

I'd love to see, aside from Unicron, I hate prequels. I don't like them. Except for Temple of Doom, which is the best movie ever made. I want to see a prequel set on Cybertron. Ah, yeah, okay. Just all robots. All robots all the time. Whatever.

You know? You know? You played those Fall of Cybertron games, whatever? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're good. Pretty good, yeah. And the stories are pretty good for a video game. I'd like to see some of that.

Okay. You don't think it'll be an absolute just tidal wave of grey and brown? Yeah, it will be, but I don't want... Okay, I want to see that, but I don't want to see Michael Bay do it. Okay. Why doesn't he just hand it to somebody else? Because I'm making the money gesture. The cash.

The moolah gesture. Mason. Mason. Yes. Hang on, let me think if I want to think of any other... I've got something else to say about this.

If they're going to keep... Say your piece, man. If they're going to keep putting these dull human characters in it, why can't we have the exosuits that they have in the movie?

That transforms the movie. Yeah. At least... Well, if they're going into space, we could do that. Exactly. Is it Spike or Daniel Woodwicky? One of them, Wood they're going into space, we could do that. Exactly. Yeah. Okay.

Is it Spike or Daniel Witwicky? One of them Witwicky. Yeah. I got that wrong in my video, apparently. Who cares? But that... He's got... It turns into a car and you clomp around in it. That's pretty cool.

That's pretty cool. Yeah. So, yeah. That's what I think. Okay. Cool. Any Transformers you want to see in particular? No, just Unicron.

Just Unicron. That's it. I want to see it eating a planet. That'd be pretty good. That would be good. Maybe the moon? Maybe the dark of theron. Just Unicron. That's it. I'm going to see it eating a planet. That would be pretty good. That would be good. Maybe the moon? Maybe the dark of the moon. Ooh.

That must be... Is that named after the pink... It's not the same. I know that. That must echo the pink flag. I think they were probably going to call it Dark Side of the Moon

and there's some sort of legal wrangling where they're like, actually, we're not allowed. Yeah, yeah. Because people like that. People like Dark Side of the Moon. People like Dark Side of the Moon.

Exactly. Well, Mason, if that's all we're going to talk about for the movies for today, I'm exhausted. It's an exhausting topic. Because we have to have passion for something that is probably not very good. Yeah. But again, for some reason, I'm kind of looking forward to Transformers 4. Me too, for 4.

Thank goodness. Good. Well, you know what it's time for then, Mason. Yes. What are we reading? What are we going to read? What are we reading? What are we going to read?

I'm doing a thing. What are we reading today? I'm going to recommend you read and I'm going to try and track some down. I might have the actual physical issue somewhere.

Yeah. I'm going to track down some of my old Transformers UK. Okay. Give them a read. I would love that. Some of the British issues. Are you going to say give them to me to read and I'll issue somewhere. I'm going to track down some of my old Transformers UK comics. Okay. Give them a read. I would love that. Some of the British issues.

Are you going to say give them to me to read and I'll read them? Or are you going to read them? I probably, they might be very

difficult to find. You son of a bitch. I don't know right. Could I download them? Yeah. Alright I'll do that.

Okay and there you remember them being quite good. Really good yeah. Okay cool. Well I've never read a Transformers comic Mason before

this week. Yeah yeah. So I jumped into it. Uh huh. And by that I mean I read one and part of another. Uh huh. So the one that first one I read was called Transformers comic, Mason, before this week. Yeah, yeah. So I jumped into it. Uh-huh. And by that I mean I read one and part of another. Uh-huh.

So the first one I read was called Transformers Last Stand of the Wreckers. Okay. Familiar with the Wreckers? I'm familiar with the Wreckers from the 80s, sure. What did they do in the 80s? They were like an Autobot strike team. Did they come in like a Wreckers ball? Yeah, they sure did.

They sure did. Yeah. Is Impact still a wrecker's ball? Yeah, they sure did. They sure did. Yeah. Is Impact still a member of the team? Yes. He's got like a harpoon hand? Yeah, he's got something going on. Great, he was my favourite. Yeah, yeah.

They're like a ragtag group, aren't they? And they do evil treaty missions. Yeah, yeah. But this comic run, it basically sees them go to this prison planet which is run by... What's his name? The guy called Overlord? I think he's new. I think he must be new yeah

but basically Overlord hates Megatron because everyone hates Megatron right right right and so he set up this prison planet Megatron so he sets up

this this like prison planet where he just gets where basically even the Decepticons and the Autobots are like trapped there and he just like

makes them like he just pits them against each other. You love recommending media set in prisons. I do. Prison Break Season 2. Oh no, sorry, that's the one where they're on the run. Prison Break Season 1 and Season 3.

Not Season 2. Back in the habit of being in prison. These tattoos are useless now. Sweet callback. Very. Thanks. But he sets up this thing to set up megatrons sorry to get megatron's attention because he wants to have a fight with megatron and basically they send in

the wreckers to um they're looking for this particular thing which i won't spoil if you're going to watch if you're going to read it and to release the autobots and whatever whatever it's cool art and whatever but for me because i never read one and i haven't kept up with the transformers mythology i jumped in and immediately i'm like i don't know who any of these people are right because there's very few original characters in it that i recognize they recognize they they mention like you know your optimus primes and you see a bit of megatron and whatever whatever but it's it's it's mostly newer characters and because they all look like robots yeah it's kind of confusing.

Well, I found it a bit confusing initially to be like, who's who? What's happening? Right, right. But it's a decent read. I wouldn't, as someone who, as I said, never read a Transformers comic, it's not the best one to start on. Right. But apparently it is good and probably even better if you've been keeping up with it.

Well, you know what you could do? Because the Wreckers were created in the Transformers UK comic. So maybe you could go back and read those and have a feel for kind of the origin and bloody... Do it. Yeah. Just bloody do it.

Figure that whole thing out, yeah. I've got another one, though, that I just started reading this morning because you made us record it on Saturday. I couldn't finish it, Mason. So this is on you. But it's called All Hail Megatron and it acts as like a soft reboot

or a jumping off point for Transformers. So all the Autobots and Decepticons you recognize. I've only read like one issue. They've got a sassy new attitude. They sure do. They look like the classic, you know, kind of Generation 1 kind of style. And it's basically Megatron and Decepticons wrecking New York City. This is initially what the Autobots are hiding On Cybertron

Basically And I'm assuming There'll be some kind of Regroup or whatever And it started off really well And that's definitely A better jumping off point Because for me

I was like Oh I understand this Right Cool Also it's got an awesome cover Do you want to see it? Yes This is good radio

It sure is Na na na na na Na na na na na What are we reading Today Oh god I gotta go right back To the start This bloody Comixology app Mason What are we reading today? Oh, God. I've got to go right back to the start. This bloody comiXology app, Mason.

Yeah, I know, right? It's really busting my balls, you know. Yeah. Here we go. Minimalistic. That is nice. Okay. That looks good.

Yeah, it is cool. Who publishes that? Is that IDW or Dreamweaver? Yeah, IDW. Okay, cool. Nice. So, yeah. Looks pretty exciting.

It does. I'll read that, too. Anything else to Transformers? No. Recommenders? Nah. All right. Well, Mason, we got a lot of emails this week on people being the official this and the

official that. Oh, sure. Yep. 50 plus, maybe. Plus Twitter. Officiated. They're all officiated. Yeah, they're all officiated.

Even the ones that conflict with one another. Yeah. It's fine. It's fine. Totally. We can't read them all out, right? We absolutely cannot. Our friend Ralph. Yes. Ralph from Cape Goss. Good guy. Our friend of the show. It's fine. Totally. We can't read them all out, right? We absolutely cannot. Our friend Ralph.

Yes. Ralph from Cake Boss. Good guy. Our friend of the show. Host of Movie Mandate. That's right. Who shouted us out this week. He did.

Very nice. Yeah, yeah. He wanted to be... Movie Mandate podcast. Go check it out. He wanted to be the official sexy lady of the podcast. And look, I mean, ideally, I would have liked that title to go to an actual sexy lady listener of the podcast.

But listen, he got in first. He's got the can-do attitude. He's got those bombshell good looks. So whatever, it's his now. And he got in first. And he got in first, exactly. Which you said, I know, but I think that's the most important. It counts for a lot, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Daniel Tonks has written in though, Mason. He's got a question. Okay. If we were stuck on an island... I'd kill you. I'd kill you and eat you. We were going to get rescued in this scenario. He was still... Yeah, no, definitely I'd kill you and eat you. We were going to get rescued in this scenario.

It was still... Yeah, no, definitely I'd kill you and eat you. I mean, how do I know? I mean, you just said that, but whatever. Maybe you're lying. You're a liar. I'm stranded on an island with a liar. I'll kill you and eat you.

If you guys were stuck on an island, they had to choose one comic to read until help comes. What would it be? Until help comes, Mason. We don't need to kill each other for comics. You sure? Why don't I open that? Okay, what are you going to do?

I would pick Fables, because it goes forever. Yeah, okay. And it's good, and I'm pretty much up to date on it. And it's coming to an end soon. And I like comic runs that come to an end. Yeah, good. Because they stop when they're still good. And Invincible, because that's not coming to an end,

but it's still got over 100 issues, and it's also great. Are you assuming in this scenario that you'll get airdropped, like new issues of a comic? Yes, that's right. He said a comic. It's weird that they couldn't rescue you. They could only drop single issues of a comic book. Because the plane didn't have wheels. Oh, okay, right.

So it could have landed on the beach. It's some sort of Michael Bay design monstrosity, and he's forgotten to put wheels on it. Okay, fine. What about you? I to put wheels on it. Okay, fine. What about you? I would probably read Starman. Okay, I've read Starman. Which is about 80 issues.

Yeah, yeah. It's a really good saga and yeah. Who writes the Starman? James Robinson. But he doesn't anymore because it's finished. Oh.

But it was really good. I love anything that's capped off. It's a super good solid story. Okay, cool. I think I've recommended it before but

get in there, yeah. I will.'ve recommended it before, but get in there. I will. You can probably get on a Comixology for something, for an amount of money. .com?.org? Yeah. Are you familiar with the new Comixology setup? No. It's real annoying.

How so? Well, okay, they updated the app because they were bought by Amazon probably, or one of them, I don't know. Sure. So now you can't make in-app purchases because Apple take a significant cut of that. So now you have to go to the Comixology website, find the thing. That you want to buy. Yep.

And then start up the app and it syncs to it. Yep. But so often when I download something, it doesn't sync immediately. Right. So it might take anywhere between zero minutes and an hour for it to appear on the app. That's incredibly annoying. Which is real annoying. The Kindle is the same.

You have to go to Amazon's web page and buy. But that's pretty much instantaneous. Yeah. Good. Technology, eh? Look, I understand that, of course, you don't want to lose that chunk of profits to Apple, who essentially are providing only the app hosting.

Right. And that is it. But at least make it so they talk to each other. Right, right. Exactly, yeah. Jesus. Well, that's exactly, yeah. Jesus. Well, that's one of your crazy rants out of the way. Vanjie has written in though, Mason.

V-A-N-G-I. Did I say that right? Yes, I did. I don't know. Go for you. One more thing. There was the rest of this email, but this is the bit that I'm going to read out.

Okay, right. It was a lovely email. You don't sound like the kind of people who would do cosplay, but if you had to, what character would you choose to dress up and perhaps to go to a convention or whatever? What do you think? I had thought about this. Sure.

And we've talked a lot about Death's Head on this podcast. Yes. I would do Death's Head cosplay. Okay. And it'd be like an elaborate one, like with like stilts and stuff. Because he's really big. He's like eight feet tall or whatever. Sure, yeah, yeah.

He varies, but like his human size-ish form is like eight nine feet tall okay cool like kind of stilts and kind of a frame and whatever love it yeah all right yeah would you make it yourself would you i'm not capable of making myself i'd probably farm that out to somebody sure i think i've had an extraordinary amount of time yeah yeah like years i could probably put one together but i don't. I'm very... I've got a lot of respect for people who can just be like, I'm going to be this character, like, in a couple of months.

And then they just... It's incredible. I love a good cosplay. I think you've said this before. You love a good cosplay. You love a bad cosplay. You like all cosplay. Like a cardboard cosplay.

Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Have you seen those cosplays that they're basically... They're transformers and people, like, wear the suit and then they kind of can fold into a car? Yes, that's great. They're pretty good, eh? I don't even... You know what?

Maybe not to go as, but I would always love to put on an Iron Man suit just to see how that goes. Yeah, cool. But it seems real clunky to walk around in and whatever. Yeah, well, this Death's Head thing would be very clunky. I mean, you're on stilts. It'd be very dangerous. Hasn't he got wheels on the bottom of his feet sometimes?

No. I wish he did. He's thinking of Iron Man when he's in roller skate mode. Real thing. Is it? Yeah. Fantastic.

Also, Ryan Gorman sent a sweet Goat Hand Solo picture, which I'll show you. He did a sketch, which I'll show you after the show. But that is the show, Mason. It was a longer one this week because, like the Transformers movies,

they've wasted all our times that's the moral here I apologise yeah me too next week I hope we all learn something or something I know I didn't next week more Transformers though Mason

we're going to be talking about great Dark of the Rise of the Donner Man does that mean I have to watch it? yeah when's it coming out? Thursday Thursday Thursday here Friday overseas if you're overseas Mason of The Rise of the Donovan. Does that mean I have to watch it? Yeah! When's it coming out? Thursday.

Thursday. Thursday here. Friday overseas. If you're overseas, Mason, it'll be Friday. I'm going to be overseas. Okay, good. So, like you said, though,

you are looking forward to it. Yeah, kind of, yeah. I know I'm going to be crushingly disappointed, but maybe I should keep an open mind. Optimus Prime looks better in this one. Yeah, I guess so.

And like I said, they seem to have taken on board the fact that people have complained that all the characters look the same. They seem to look a little more distinctive in the trailer at least. Yeah. Maybe that's just... You can tell the difference between a dinosaur and Optimus Prime. Correct, I can. That is true.

Is Optimus Prime riding the dinosaur and not the other way around? That's right. All right. Thanks, everyone. Wait, we should say other things. That is true. It is Optimus Prime riding the dinosaur, not the other way around. That's right. All right. Thanks, everyone. Wait, we should say other things. Oh, shit, yeah. Thanks to the Brood and Basilisk for the theme music. Of course.

You should find us on at WeeklyPanetPod at Twitter, Facebook, Gmail. Absolutely. Actually, what I thought, because we're both on the Twitters. Yeah. Where are you? MrSundayMovies. I'm at WikipediaBrown. But I was thinking that maybe you follow us

but you should also follow each other. And I was thinking because it could be tricky. Our followers and fans and whatever listeners. Yeah. Fans is a weird word.

Friends of the show. Friends of the show. You guys all send us a lot of really interesting stuff and fun stuff and good jokes and whatever. I think what I'm probably going to do at this point

is when I respond to somebody I'll put the little dot before their name. Yeah. So everybody who's following me can see, like, the conversation. Okay. And if you just want to jump in on that,

you're reading it, you want to jump in on that, you've got some opinions, just jump in on that. I didn't even know you could do that. Yeah, just have some chats and stuff. Put the dots. Yeah, put the dots.

I don't know much about Twitter. I know. We should do more on the Weekly Planet Pod Twitter as well. Yeah, yeah. Let's do that. Nah. Seems like a lot of work it sure does Mason

I don't think there was anything else we were going to say no oh yeah if you've got an opinion on the movie tweet us or email us

keep it short or whatever hopefully and we'll try and get real long real long and rambly all caps that's what I like we'll try and get

some opinions though yeah but if people want to and also if people want to tell me about because I'm sure we missed some really sweet terrible stuff in those Transformers movies if somebody wants to email and also if people want to tell me about, because I'm sure we missed some really sweet, terrible stuff in those Transformers movies.

No, you're out. If somebody wants to email and tell us their favourite bit, I would love to reminisce on a really terrible bit. You know, you love to reminisce on a really terrible thing. That has been this episode, yes. Oh yeah, we just did that for an hour. Have we been too harsh on the Transformers in general? No.

No. Good mythology? The cartoon one is, yeah. Yeah. The comic book one, definitely. Yeah. Okay, great. There you go.

Movie one, toilet. That's how we end a podcast. Toilet. Yep. On the word toilet. Thanks, everyone. Thank you. Bye.