The Weekly Planet - 40 Transformers: Age Of Extinction

Episode Date: June 30, 2014

This week we break down Michael Bay's latest entry is the Transformers franchise.Not only that this week marks the return of Shia LaBeouf news, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Predator, Pacific Rim, Bond and more! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever? Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, to support life-saving progress in mental health care. From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So, who will you rise for?

Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. Welcome back everybody to another episode of the Weekly Planet, official podcast of ComicBookMovie.com My name is James, also known as Mr. Sunday, Junior Editor at that website With me as always is my co-host Nick Mason Woo! It's Transformers Week! Woo! It is Mason, don't get too excited though I'm not, don't worry, that was mostly sarcastic

Good, good We're in no danger of me getting too excited over Transformers 4. Well, thank God for that. Shia LaBeouf news, Mason. This is your fault though. How is it my fault? Because last week you said, hey, we haven't had any Shia LaBeouf news for a while.

And you think that me saying that, do you think I have that power? Yes. Wow. I think you've pushed some kind of force, some unseen force, and this has happened. That's what I think's happened here. Boy, we sure haven't had a lot of me winning millions of dollars news recently. This week. Crossing fingers.

But all right. And again, for new listeners, as old listeners will know and new listeners will realize that, we're only allowed to have Shia LaBef news or batman versus superman news in a single episode we can't by news we mean conjecture yeah precisely exactly and luckily we only have shia labouf news that's good my goodness all right so the story here we go i've actually got here shia labouf news brackets this is is your fault. Fantastic. Good. Okay. So he went to a cabaret play. I don't know whether it was cabaret.

It's not important. Alan Cumming was in it. Famous Scottish actor, is he? Doesn't matter. He's in X-Men 2. He is in X-Men 2. He's Nightcrawler. Yeah, he's really good.

He's a good actor. During the first act, Shia LaBeouf was reportedly yelling out, smoking, perhaps, being a dickhead. Sure, definitely. And acting irrationally. Like, there's a bit where Alan Cumming walked down the aisle and Shia LaBeouf, like, slapped him on the butt. Huh. I mean, I guess he was getting into it, but... No, that's not how it works.

Don't do that. Also, do you think it would be worse if he was smoking a cigarette or an e-cigarette? Which marks him as a bigger dickhead, do you think? E-cigarette, definitely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you're like, I'm exploiting a loophole. I'm not really smoking. I can smoke indoors.

I'll do it if I want. I mean, dickhead regardless. I look at spells of cinnamon. Ugh. He was there, discorded out, Mason. Yes. After Act 1 or during Act 1, where he was promptly arrested. And reportedly, he was in, where he was promptly arrested, and reportedly he was in tears

when he was being arrested. That's always... I mean, I've never been arrested. You've never been arrested. I've never been arrested. I'd imagine it would be quite distressing. But whenever I hear someone gets arrested and they're crying,

just get it together. I mean, you're not arrested for murder. You know what you did. Yeah, you know what you did. You haven't killed anybody. You didn't crash a car or whatever. Just... Also, you're rich. You're rich, exactly. Nothing's going to happen to you know what you did. You haven't killed anybody, you didn't crash a car or whatever. Also, you're rich.

You're rich, exactly. Nothing's going to happen to you. Ridiculous. But Mason, in more Shia LaBeouf news, hours earlier, he was filmed chasing what

appeared to be a homeless man. Have you seen this video? No. They're darting in I wish you said Roadrunner there.

Me too. He was setting up an assortment of traps. Led Waits. At one point he was seen drawing a big tunnel on a brick wall. Yeah, he was film chasing what appeared to be a homeless man who had a paper bag that looked like filled with some kind of fast food and they're like darting in and out of traffic and the homeless guy just...

Look, people say he was homeless. I don't know whether he was actually homeless let's just might have been daniel day lewis and that's that's bizarre right i don't know what to make of any of this no it's clearly having some i mean he's clearly having some kind of breakdown yeah so we probably shouldn't be no but at the same time maybe he he's involved in some sort of club, like a real rich people club where they hunt homeless people. Okay, right.

Would you put it past him? Absolutely not. That reminds me of that song, Actual Cannibal, Shia LaBeouf. You heard that song? No. I think I'll put it at the end. I can't remember what it's by,

but I'll put it at the end. It's pretty amazing. It proposes that Shia LaBeouf is a cannibal. Yes. An actual cannibal. Yes. Wow. It's quite good.

Is it convincing? Is the narrative of the song very convincing? Oh yeah. Like it starts where he's you're in the woods and your phone's dead and sneaking up behind you is Shia LaBeouf and he chases you through the woods and you get caught in a bear trap. It's a whole thing. It's really good. Do you think, maybe in this case

because he's had a history of stealing other people's artistic work, maybe he's heard Shia LaBeouf, Actual Cannibal, and he's decided that he's going to be an actual cannibal and claim that that was his idea all along? Absolutely. Definitely. Or he's doing the live-action version. I don't know.

Either way, what a genius, I guess. Visionary. Visionary. We said we'd just mention this briefly. Gary Oldman said some weird stuff, didn't he? Yeah, let's genius, I guess. Visionary. Visionary. We said we'd just mention this briefly. Gary Oldman said some weird stuff, didn't he? Yeah, let's not get into it. Weird, weird Hollywood people are weird, aren't they? It always upsets me when, it shouldn't upset me, but when you find out that someone's like,

oh, you're a lunatic. Right, right. Great, you know? Yeah. I mean, maybe it's a bad day. Yeah, maybe it's a bad day. Maybe he was drunk, but I don't know. Oftentimes when people are drunk, that's when they say their most you know when you see their real personality yeah

because there's no there's nothing holding him back so who knows oh geez well mason let's get into some proper news some movie news because we saw the new teenage mutant ninja turtles trailer this week yeah we did a big turnaround for people people saying why didn't they show this trailer earlier because it looks way better and also it's implied in this trailer that william fickner fickner delightful character actor william fick he is good isn't it yeah he's good i like him i hope he's not weird he's one of the he's one of those famous that guys he is that guy i like that guy me too well we said that his character was going to be the the shredder stand with something sacks i can't remember exactly and people flipped out about that because shredder's supposed to be japanese and a ninja and

blah blah but in this trailer there's a brief clip that shows a different man an asian man in in shadows in the shadows wind it up and zoomed it in and etc i believe um uh raw machine mark raw machine cassidy from comic book movie did that. He's a great dude. Follow him on Twitter. Raw Machine. Do it. Alright fine. God I'm doing it now. God. But yeah so and he's the one in the

shredder armor. And he's kind of he's very he's Asian. He's shaved head and he's got kind of a lot of scars which would you know suggest a man who has you know

shred you know razor blade gauntlets and in training he wasn't very good with them initially. But now he's great. He's got it. He's a force to be reckoned with now. He's nailed it.

But back in the day. Yeah, absolutely. What did you think of the trailer in general? Yeah, it looks promising. Yeah, it does. I mean, people still don't like

the designs and whatever. I mean, I'm waiting to see. I think we said before, the director hasn't produced that much that we've been super impressed with. Battle of Los Angeles

and some other stuff. Yeah, mostly boring more than... Yeah. Like non-event. Yeah. But I mean, they look...

I don't mind the design. Yeah. They look... Here's the thing, there's no giant mutant turtles in real life so there's nothing to base them on.

No. You just... Every design so far has just been taken a shot in the dark. Yeah. They look kind of like the cartoon ones and they look kind of like the old movie ones. Yep. Close enough them on. No. You just... Every design so far has just been taken a shot in the dark. Yeah. They look kind of like the cartoon ones. They look kind of like the old movie ones.

Yep. Close enough. Whatever. Yeah. They don't have a beak, so shut up. They don't have a beak, but turtles also don't have noses. So the fact these ones don't have noses, it's fine, right? True words.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, at the end, there's like a little joke where someone says, So are they aliens? And Megan Fox is like, They're not aliens, you idiot, or whatever. It's not that exactly. You know, because that was one of the original Spirits. That they were going to be from space.

Yeah. So I guess that's... Which, again, wouldn't be that bad. Some of the origins of mutagen is from space. Yeah, exactly. There's a lot of extraterrestrial stuff. There is. There's triceplicons, are they called?

Triceratons, you're close. But in pretty much every version except for the old movie series, there was some sort of outer space link. Yeah, absolutely. It was only the old ones that changed, you know, techno-cosmic research industries

to techno-global research industries. Oh, okay. So they took all the alien stuff out, but everything else, aliens, it's fine. Highly anticipated, Mason, for both of us. And they're all, you can see much more. They've really ramped up.

These guys have their own individual personalities. Yeah. This one's got goggles. This one's Johnny Knoxville. This one's Johnny Knoxville. This one's got a different set of goggles and a skateboard. Can I tell you what I don't like? I don't like Raphael's bandana.

Wow. You've drawn a line. I have. But, you know, we'll see. Wow. He's got like a bandana. You've drawn a line. I have. But, you know, we'll see. Yeah, we'll see. We'll see. Maybe it'll charm you. Yeah, well, I hope so.

With its bandana-ness. I hope so. Predator Mason. Oh. See, I don't know anything about this Predator news. This is exciting. Okay. For a number of reasons.

Well, Shane Black, famous director, Shane Black and writer, he wrote the Lethal Weapon films before Mel Gibson was racist. He also directed I, Man 3. You did. When I say before Mel Gibson was racist. He also directed Iron Man 3. You did. When I say before Mel Gibson was racist, I mean during, but we didn't know. Yeah, we didn't know he was racist. He was racist. Yeah, he directed Iron Man 3, which not a lot of people like, including us elements of it anyway.

But it works as a buddy comedy. Yeah, that's fine. Anyway, he's going to be continuing the Predator franchise. Oh, Predator buddy comedy. That would be great. One's the new kid in town. One's the one from the first one who died as a ghost. I don't know.

Whatever. That'd work. Yep. It was thought that it was going to be a reboot, but his Shane Black was like... We just had a reboot. That's the thing, though. Because here you go, Shane Black said, well, it's not broken, so... Yeah, yeah, totally.

Why do that? But the thing is, though, you've seen... Well, Predators isn't a reboot. Predators is a sequel. No, it's not broken, so why do that? But the thing is, though, you've seen... Well, Predators isn't a reboot. Predators is a sequel. No, it's a continuation, yeah. And I think, call this controversial, I think Predators is the best Predator movie. No, I'm on board with that. Yeah.

Don't get me wrong, Predator is great. It's at least on par with the first one. Yeah. Like, it's really good. It's got great characters in it. It's got good action. Adrian Brody's awesome. It's got that bit where...

He's probably not racist. Yeah, it's got that bit where... He's probably not racist. It's got that bit where a guy just fires a minigun into some trees for two minutes, like two solid minutes. Is that the first one? That's in the first one. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

So, yeah. Big fan of the original, but I really enjoyed Predators and I was sad that it didn't do better. But I blame Aliens vs. Predators for that, who just drilled it into the ground and everybody saw those. But then by the time Predators rolled around, everyone was like, nah. Yeah around everyone was like nah yeah yeah so but hey not in need of a reboot so i'm glad it's continuing there you go any is there any plot details or anything like that he's just like doing another it just says predators question mark great that's the official website

predators anyone that's what it's called Just quickly as well Another 80s icon returning Rambo Rambo 5 I want to say Yeah it's 5 yeah Apparently this is going to be Stallone's No Country for Old Men I wish you'd said 80s icon is returning

And then pause briefly so I could think of a Oh sorry Like a wacky 80 I can't think of one though Okay Yeah I'll come up with one, though. Okay. Yeah. I'll come up with one later.

Good, good. Punky Brewster. Nice. I used to love that show. It's weird. Well, it taught me life lessons. Okay, cool. More the cartoon than the live action.

Okay, great. Rainbow Five. Where's he going to be this time? Well, apparently he's going to take on a drug cartel in South America or something. So, yeah. Why not? It's going to be his No Country for Old Men. In what sense?

That's all it says. Question mark? Question mark? Rambo, anyone? So, yeah. I don't know. It's a... 80s stuff's coming back. Yeah, absolutely.

In a big way. Well, in the original Rambo book he kills himself at the end is that right and that was originally the ending of the first film oh the first

First Blood First Blood yeah the first First Blood yeah I don't know I've never read the book I don't think I think I've read

I'm pretty sure it does I'm almost 100% positive right right and then I guess they filmed the movie and then it was successful and they're like

yeah I think I think in First Blood part 2 the book, they just gloss over the fact that he died. Or maybe that was a... I think the first one was an original, the second one was an adaptation of the second film.

Oh, okay, gotcha. Well, let's check him out, Mason. I recommend that to you. Thank you. I will. The Flash pilot has leaked for the Flash TV show. It doesn't premiere until September or October or something. They're probably going to show it at Comic Con. Sometimes they release these things online anyway, like officially.

But it has leaked. Have you seen it? I have not seen it yet, no. I have also not seen it, but I have some opinions. Okay, go ahead. These are just estimations. Sure, fantastic. Because in this role that we do, that would be unprofessional of us to watch this.

So these are things I've assumed. You've also assumed that we're professional in any way. So I think it's probably okay to admit that you just watch it on the internet. Never! I mean, you're not... We're not part of the industry. We can't get fired from this. Good point.

I mean, we probably can. We can. We almost certainly can, yeah. Having not seen it, Mason... Okay, fine. I thought it was a strong-ish pilot. Nothing groundbreaking, probably, if I'd seen it. But it's good enough.

You're really going to go with this? You're damn right I am. I'd imagine that it sets up some things for the future, like Gorilla Grood. Okay, sure. There's probably a reference to that. And the speed effects, from what I understand in my mind as I imagine it, are okay. Okay, good. For television.

Right. And I think... They're better than the Flash series from the 80s and 90s. No. Come on. Okay, sorry, you're right. I've never seen that, but presumably no. Okay.

But yeah, I mean, if... Hypothetically speaking, is there... Because we have seen the last X-Men film, and we know there was a kind of a spectacular... Nothing like that. Everybody knows there's nothing like that. There was a kind of spectacular super speed thing in there, but there's nothing like that.

Okay. Hypothetically nothing like that. That's disappointing. It's a little bit disappointing. Well, it's TV. What are you going to do? But still, you put all your money and all your hopes on this pilot. You'd think they'd put in something like that.

Sure. It's not disappointing from what I'd imagine, though. Okay. It's good enough. Great. Is it on par with, say, an episode of Arrow? Well, if I had to guess... It was on par with, like, an average episode of Arrow.

Right, okay. Yeah. So there you go. Did we get a villain? Like a... Well... We got Gorilla Grodd somehow. My understanding was that his reference did it.

There's a busted cage. The yellow... The reverse flash? What's his name? Zoom. Zoom. He works with him, probably. Okay.

Hunter Zolomon. And I think he fights Weather Wizard. Great. And there's a tornado and it's going really fast, but he runs the other way. Ah, okay. Probably. I don't know. Okay, fantastic. Everybody, check it out

or don't. Don't, yeah, it's fine. Yeah. No spoilers there because you never saw it. We will talk about that more if it gets released officially or when it comes out

on the television. Correct. For reals. Pacific Rim news though, Mason. There's a sequel coming out. You're a fan of that? I liked it, yeah. I thought it was okay.

Apparently everyone will return. I love good Australian accents in films, certainly. Boy, do you. Yeah, everyone returns. I've spoken to people recently who've been like, those accents weren't bad. Not true. They were. You're an Australian.

How can you think that? Maybe better than some? Worse than others? No, worse than everybody's. Yeah. It's weird, isn't it? Yeah. Anyway, sorry.

Pacific Rim 2 news. Well, all the classic characters are going to return. Can you name one? Wow, what's his face? Jaeger. Yeah, Jaeger. Ron Perlman. Ron Perlman will be back.

What's his face? Charlie Hunnam. Charlie Hunnam, there we go. What's his character's name? Charlie Hunnam. I'm sorry,? Charlie Hunnam. Charlie Hunnam, there we go. What's his character's name? Charlie Hunnam. I'm sorry, Lieutenant Charlie Hunnam. That's it. I think one was Mako.

Oh, yep. Uh-huh, yep. I think Hannibal Chow was the name of the Ron Perlman character. Okay, wow. You've got a lot of... You're in the 95th percentile of knowing stuff about Pacific Rim. You know a lot more than most people. Well, I didn't love it, to be honest.

I was like, that's okay. I wouldn't care if there wasn't a sequel because, to be honest, I'd rather hear Guillermo del Toro do another Hellboy. That would be better, yeah. Which we will never see. Yeah.

Mark my words. Yeah, you're right. That ship has sailed, I think. Or it's just something new from him because I like his work, but I didn't love... What do you think his, love help what do you think he's like

why do you think he directed Pacific Rim I think he likes the idea I think he got caught up in the idea of giant robots and monsters I think that's basically what it's turned back to

what is his like what is his arc as a director like he's done like Pan's Labyrinth and Hellboy he did Mimic

from the 90s, which was a horror movie where bugs could mimic people. Yeah, I remember that. By being like, I'm just a guy. Ignore the wigs. But like what, like, you know, we know, like Spielberg does like kind of family stuff and whatever. What is Guillermo del Toro doing?

I'd say Creature Effects. I guess I'd say Creature Effects, yeah. Anything built around Creature Effects. Okay, that's fair enough. Yeah. All right, that works. Is he much of a writer? Do you know?

No idea. Did he write Pan's Labyrinth? Who knows? Someone will tell us. We'll never know in a way. No, that's true. Let's just pile up the misinformation and then multiple of our listeners will email in and let us know we're wrong. Like that time we said Buzz Aldrin was dead.

To be fair, I didn't say he was dead. I wondered if he was dead. I think you said he's dead. I did not. But you know what though? What else is annoying? Because I listened back to that and I was like,

I didn't think he was dead. And you were so sure that he was dead that I went, yeah, I think he is dead. Huh. So the lesson here is back yourself.

Be yourself and back yourself. Be yourself and back yourself. Also, Jazz isn't in Transformers 2 at the start. Huh. Someone else. I don't care. But he does appear in the... I wish he was else. I don't care. But he does appear in...

I wish he was and he was torn apart again. But he does appear in the sequel comic, so he is alive. There you go. Fancy that. I'm still right. Still right. Two more things to talk about quickly, Mason. Bond, as you know, is returning for Bond 24,000?

I reckon it's 24, if I had to guess. Whatever. Yeah. Now, they've hired some 007 veteran screenwriters, Neil Purvis and Robert Wade, and the idea behind these guys are they're going to punch up the script with more gags. I think Purvis and Wade did some of the Brosnan ones.

Of course they did. Oh, God. More gags. Great. That's what we need. You know they do. Oh, God. More gags. Great. That's what we need. You know what? I'm happy for... I'll be happy for more gags,

but I don't want them to do it. No. Give it to someone else. Give it to Shane Black. Yeah, give it to... Punch it up. Anyone. Give it to, you know,

Seth Rogen. Exactly. We're on the same page here, right? Yeah, yeah. All the Brosnan movies except Goldeneye are terrible. Terrible, absolutely. Right? They all yeah. All the Brosnan movies except Goldeneye are terrible. Terrible, absolutely.

Right? They all... I would say all of them except... The one where he takes over the world with the newspapers? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some of them have redeeming features. There's parts of them which are good, yes. But some have absolutely... Like Die Another Day has no redeeming features.

Diamond Face. Diamond Face, okay. Amazing villain, Diamond Face. What's great about that character is everybody in the world has decided unanimously to call him diamond face just great um there's one of the one of the films i can't remember which one it is and it doesn't matter whether there's a character called by played by denise richards called christmas jones and that's the one where they completely gave up on like double entendres and well they didn't give up on them but they were

like just just throw them out there who cares yeah and i saw that with a friend who'd never seen a james bond film before and it ends with him going they're they're in like an escape capsule or whatever they're always in an escape catch and he's like i thought christmas only came once a year and everybody in the audience went oh i turned to this friend i'm like i'm so. I didn't think they were going to go there. But here we are. Look, they named her that solely for that gag at the end. Absolutely. The worst joke in the world. And she was a nuclear physicist. Yeah.

Great movie? No. You're right. Anyway, they're back. That was wrong with Robert Carlyle as a villain and he's actually a good actor. Yeah. There's a lot of good actors in those movies.

Yeah, Sean Bean. Exactly. Well, apparently John Cleese is like, listen, they should bring back the lighter tone. Yeah, but that's because he wants to be Q again. You're out, Cle movies. Yeah, Sean Bean. Exactly. Well, apparently John Cleese is like, listen, they should bring back the lighter tone. I feel like... Yeah, but that's because he wants to be Q again. You're out, Cleese. Yeah.

Look, I love Cleese. I'm a big fan, but you're out. I like the new Q. Yeah, he's good. But anyway, whatever. Mason. Yes. Planet of the Apes.

The new one. Dawn of. Or Rise of. I think it's Dawn of. It's confusing. It's... Dawn of. It's Dawn of, I think.

Dot POTA is the acronym looking great all the reviews that have come in so far all positive apparently it's mind-blowing and the only reason i wanted to bring this up mason was to plug a video i did on planet of the apes interesting you should check it out on my youtube channel youtube slash mr sunday movies no.com no don't need it great but mason it's time to oh we got some news is there no it's just i'm just looking up uh what purpose and wade had written oh please and it's um well they go to youtube slash mr sunday no i don't have enough tabs just i don't have enough tabs available

i'm not going to do it okay so uh blah blah blah world is not enough they also wrote a script for a bond spin-off featuring the character jinx from die another day that's right when they were like she's his equivalent she would be his equivalent that was the hally berry character by the way yeah yeah if they wrote her as an actual human being and that movie wasn't just a series of catchphrases and space lasers you know what they have they have co-writing credits on casino royale quantum of solace, and Skyfall. I don't know. I'd love to know the involvement of them on that.

I think maybe that's they have really good agents. Okay. Like, you can... In Hollywood, you can have... Your name can be on a script, and you haven't written it. But because you have the better agent, and you got in there with some sort of creative control,

the actual writer's names come off it. Is that true? Yeah. Have we talked about Paul Hogan on this podcast? Oh, not enough. Okay. Are you talking about the How Did This Get Made podcast episode on this?

I don't think so. On Crocodile Dundee 3? Well, yeah. Apparently in Crocodile Dundee 3. I know this story. It's great. Some guys wrote a script for Crocodile Dundee 3 because he put out a call for writers. Yeah.

And then they sent it to him and he's like, I'm going to tweak some of these things. And he changed the names of some of the characters. And he changed a couple of the punchlines for the jokes. And he's like... Like slightly. Yeah, yeah, slightly. So maybe even they weren't as good. And then he's like, okay, now I want full writing credit for this movie.

Yeah. And apparently that's how he makes his money. He gets, allegedly, he gets... Well, he makes his money through tax fraud. Yes. Allegedly. And leaking TV pilots on the internet, allegedly. He's a monster.

Anyway, but he will like, he will find a way to get the most number of screen credits in a movie. Yeah. Like writer, director, producer, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. So he gets the most, like, what do you call them? Australian dollar. Yeah, the most Australian dollar.

The AUD. He gets all the AUD. Gets all that Australian scrilla, you know what I mean? But so he can get the most, not retainers, like the most. Yeah, yeah. Like you get the paycheck for every role you basically get. Yeah, yeah. That's an episode of How Did This Get Made with Paul Scheer. Oh. like the most yeah yeah like you get the paycheck for every role you basically get yeah yeah that's an episode of

How Did This Get Made with Paul Scheer where they have one of the writers from that and they take the writer talks about the whole process it's fascinating

I'm going to listen to that yeah it's really really good and basically what it boiled down to though they had to fight to get their names on the script because they weren't going to get paid

and so they were fighting for this movie that they didn't even want credit for because it's terrible. And if you've seen that movie, it is... Have you seen it? I have not seen it. It's so... I can't even...

I'm sorry. In a way, it's like our national anthem, so I apologize that I haven't seen Crocodile Dundee 3 in Los Angeles. In Los Angeles. But I just couldn't do it. Yeah, because it's weird where he's like, he's super dumb for no reason. Right. Like he doesn't know what an elevator is or he doesn't know

when he's being mugged. This is like the early 2000s. This is 2001. Wow. Yeah. So, anyway. I don't want to get into it. At the same time I do, I'd love to do an episode purely on Crocodile Dundee. No one's calling me back. Next week, Crocodile Dundee special. Will you rise with the sun

to help change mental health care forever? Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Center for Addiction and Mental Health to support life-saving progress in mental health care.

From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind.

So, who will you rise for? Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. All right, Mason. Yeah. We've beat around the Paul Hogan bush enough. Yep. For this week. It's time to get into Transformers Age of Extinction. I didn't say it.

No, I did. I had to because this film is critic proof. It is. We're not critics, but still, it's critic proof and it's audience proof because you have to see it. Even though the last three were terrible, you're like, well, maybe this is an improvement or maybe it's much worse and I'll enjoy it for the car wreck that it is

exactly you have to see it now despite Shia's involvement Shia LaBeouf's lack of involvement sorry this movie is still doing very very well

made like 120 million dollars in a day or something it's like 100 million for the weekend US is that international it's probably true probably yeah

well it is as we'll talk about it is catered to an international market in a big way but look Michael Bay does not care about the 13% Rotten Tomatoes critical reception. Absolutely not. He basically said, they love to hate, and I don't care, let them hate.

And then he said, let them eat cake. And they said, do you understand that reference? And he said, no. No. And then they were like, can you slightly explain anything you do? Like as a director, and he just panicked and he walked away. Can you slightly explain anything you do? Like as a director?

And he just panicked and he walked away. Now, look, before we talk about whether we thought it was fantastic or not, some people were anticipating this movie. Anthony, who's a friend of the show, he's the official shockwave. Fantastic, good. Pretty good, isn't it? He's got a YouTube channel, Verathrax, V-E-R-T-H-R-A-X, where he does like Transformers stop motion stuff basically

it's good it's good too anyway he says I'm a Transformers fan and that was and that's a very controversial side of the internet

because of Michael Bay's movies fair point I have a bit of a weird relationship with those movies too as I was 12 when the first one

came out and I thought it was fantastic which I can understand that because the first one's not terrible is it as we mentioned

it's completely watchable or it was at the time and I've got that thing because the first one's not terrible, is it? As we mentioned. No. It's completely watchable, or it was at the time. And I've got that thing as well, where I watched things when I was a kid, I still look back fondly. You remember that Ewok movie? Yes. I love the Ewok movie. Hang on, which one? There were two.

The first one. Okay, great. Where they fight Gorax. And there's the giant spider. Fuck, that's a good movie. Of course it is. Hold on to that dream, little buddy. So yeah, so people are obviously anticipating this,

the internet over, Mason, just like you said, because they want to see whether it's terrible or not terrible. So what we're going to do, brief non-spoilers, and then, because this is pretty much spoiler-proof and because everyone's going to see this, we're just going to... I don't want to dance around the Transformers spoilers, basically. No, exactly. Let's not do that.

And also, if I may, it's beat for beat identical to all the other Transformers movies. Yes, exactly. Let's not do that. And also, if I may, it's beat for beat identical to all the other Transformers movies. Yes, it is. So there's not really a lot to spoil. No.

Just change some names. Just change some names. Yeah, yeah. Well, do you want to talk about the structure of the plot? Yeah, I mean, it's set four or five years after

the... I think it's four. Four years after... Irrelevant. Irrelevant. Irrelevant number of years. Yeah, irrelevant number of years.

So the Transformers destroyed Chicago last time. And so the premise is that they've all been outlawed except for a few Autobots. So they say. So they say. But secretly there's a team, a CIA team called Cemetery Wind who are out to... Are they from the comics?

No, I don't think so. Not that I've read. Sure. And they're out to destroy basically all the Transformers. Interesting. For nefarious purposes. Yes, very nefarious. And speaking of the Transformers, did you like the design of the Transformers?

Let's go Autobots first. There was only like four of them. They've tweaked them, haven't they? Yeah, big time. Optimus Prime is... What they've done is they've kind of... Optimus Prime is what they've done is they've kind of

when they're in the robot road now any element of their vehicle mode is gone now like Optimus Prime like in the first one you can still see like his front

gears and pistons well you can see gears and pistons but you can also see like his front like windshield and stuff like that but that's completely gone

in this new redesign that's true I don't know if I like it a lot he's more kind of rounded like a samurai yeah he's more yeah he's this isn't a spoiler so much but we know you know from the trailer that he does appear as his like cartoon vehicle version i was gonna say that and you said if that's all you want from a transformers movie yeah yeah if you were to You'll forgive everything if you see... No, I said initially... If for the last three he'd been in that version,

I would forgive it a lot. Okay. But I think he looks a lot better. Like, that version looks a lot better. Like, transforming-wise, it looks the most realistic, I think. Yeah, I'd agree with that. Transformers formings were odd in this, weren't they? Comparatively to the other ones.

And I'll probably talk about that later, but we'll get into that later, actually, with the particular Decepticons. What about the other Transformers, the other three? You got the John Goodman one. Yes. They really made them distinguishable, didn't they? They did, but at the same time,

it's kind of walking a tightrope where they're now kind of Power Ranger-esque because they're all so... They're all bright. They've all got the nice bright colorways. You know, so the villains basically are on the hunt for these Autobots to destroy them and whatever.

Big time. What they should do... Here's a tip. What you should do if you're the CIA and you're hunting the Transformers is just have a Google alert for when anybody searches for high-performance, performance luxury flashy car show

or whatever like in a small town like if somebody in hicksville usa like tweets like hey i was just walking down the street and there was like a red and red and blue flame truck drove past followed by like a camaro that isn't out yet and like a bright green corvette stingray and like a two million dollar bugatti veyron like they all just drove down the street in this this rural town is there something going on you know and also transformers if you're listening the best way to blend in maybe don't turn into like flashy high performance supercars maybe because you can turn into any kind of car you turn into a datson turn into a yugo i don't turn into like flashy high performance supercars maybe because you can turn into any kind of car you turn into a Datsun

turn into a Yugo I don't know what that is turn into like a VW camper van yeah exactly turn into an ice cream truck like in the second movie

yes but you know with that being said they do look right I think okay well I thought the designs were a lot better

I particularly liked two of them the Japanese samurai style one I know that doesn't make sense cross hairs cross hairs. Crosshairs. And he's not like that in the comics or whatever, but I liked the look of that one. I liked the green one, even though he had a coat for some reason. I thought that looked really, really interesting. Did you notice at the start when Bubble, Bee and Crosshairs met, they got into a weird scrap for no reason?

I was going to talk about that. What was that? I think in a substitute for characterisation, look, I have some characterisation, but I think all throughout these movies, they've substituted, like, roughhousing for characterisation. Like, you know, because they're robots,

but they're supposed to have sort of pseudo-human emotions. And so they just get... Children, though. Yeah, kind of like children. Exactly, yeah. Well, that's always been a hallmark of these things,

I think, that they've got, like the characters humans and robots have like these weird adolescent like reactions to things and they they they react like children to stuff like they jump into a battle when they really should not be jumping into a battle because they can't control their impulses there's no strategy to anything yeah well the optim anything. We can talk about that later, but I've got notes. Good. They're in my brain. They're not real notes. Well, I thought that the Optimus Prime character was a big departure from the comics,

but a few people picked up on this. He's never been that faithful, I guess, especially after the first one. But this, he was so vengeful. He wasn't vengeful. But then he'll change his mind yeah yeah no it's all i feel often i don't know how many scriptwriters they have on this these kind of films maybe it's only one and i i've misread this but i think they get different maybe they had paul

hogan briefly they say i think they get different scriptwriters to write each scene and then you just smash them together it feels like i don't. I don't think there's any call for continuity throughout the whole film. It's just we put all the scenes together, we have X number of minutes, we have certain action beats, every 10 minutes there's action, and then it's done. Yeah.

And people will be fine with that. That'll do. Yeah, that'll do, exactly. What about the Decepticons, though? Well, the main guy Gunface yeah I know his name's Lockdown I'm not calling him that

I think they did I liked his design I think his design is pretty good again there's not a lot of elements of his vehicle mode in his

in the humanoid mode which kind of disappoints me yeah but yeah I thought they'd done some... They'd done a bit to make him more distinctive

than a lot of the old... than a lot of the Transformers from the previous films. Like the gun coming out of his face. Well, the gun certainly coming out of his face. Although you never see a full body shot of him doing that. Okay. Like, it's always, like, shoulders up. Yeah.

I think it's because that looks ridiculous. It does. Like, if you saw a robot with a gun, like, standing with a gun coming out his face you'd like that it's ridiculous makes me laugh that's a little bit galvatron that as well isn't it because he turned into like a turretty kind of yeah yeah and speaking of oh let's get to that later okay it's kind of a spoiler it is i had no idea he was in that well but we'll talk about that later i'm gonna i'm just gonna note that down okay because i'm gonna forget if i don't um yeah what about

the humans you got your mark walbergs you sure do okay i'll also as we talk about this i'm gonna forget if i don't um yeah what about the humans you got your mark walberg's you sure do okay i'll also as we talk about this i'm gonna refer to these characters as mark walberg the girl and the boyfriend it's not it's not anything irish shalaboo whatever it's not it's not anything against their characters it's just i don't have the brain space yeah to learn new character names from transformers films and have them stick in there and like push out stuff like where I left my keys and stuff. Absolutely.

Where did I put my keys? Do you know? Doesn't matter. No, it doesn't. I think I left them in the cinema. Oh, well, it doesn't matter. But anyway, yeah. You did run here.

They're fine. We've got Wahlberg. We've got the Michael Bay girl character. Yeah. This isn't a spoiler because it's irrelevant to the plot and we're going to get to later scenes that could have been cut out because they're irrelevant to the plot. But there's a scene.

So Mark Wahlberg's the dad. He's like an inventor. He's a wacky inventor. He's an American inventor. American inventor. There's some missing backstory to this character, though, because there's a lot of, like, he's got a lot of, like, logos for his company, like something something robotics and whatever.

That's true. Like, did he own a robotics company at one point? Or did he always work out of his garage? Yeah, yeah. Anyway, it doesn't matter. But anyway, so he's an American inventor. He's got a 17-year-old daughter. Yes.

Who we find out soon, because it's not really a spoiler, that she's dating a 20-year-old guy. And there's an entire scene where all three of them have an argument over whether or not it's legal for those two to date and it ends with the boyfriend producing from his wallet a card with the relevant legal statute in texas that enables him to have sex with her. Why is this in the film?

I have two theories. I did think that. I'm glad you brought this up because I completely forgot that. Right. One is that, like, Michael Bay likes two things in his films. He likes escalation, like he likes the action to be bigger every time.

And he likes barely legal tail, right? He likes those two things. And I think what happened... Theory one is he's combined those two things and he's gone, you know what? We've had some barely legal chicks in these films in the past. What we're going to do is we're going to have a chick who is so barely legal that in certain states

she's in fact illegal. And it's only due to this dude finding some legal loopholes that he can bang this chick. Which he carries with him. How awesome is that? That's theory number one one or theory number two is one of the producers on the film has a kid who is 17 and dating a 20 year old or 20 and dating a 17 year old and all his friends are like toughing and being like what are you doing here what is this what's the deal here with your kid

dating this other kid? It's weird. And he's like, no, no, it's legal in certain states. And they're like, whatever, man. You're an irresponsible parent. And he's like, you know what I'm going to do is I'm going to find the relevant legislation and I'm going to insert it into a multi-billion dollar movie franchise. It's a movie that already goes for 165 minutes.

That'll show you guys. So they're my two theories, because otherwise completely irrelevant and a waste of time. I went into this movie with, I would say, the lowest expectations I've had for a movie since Fantastic Four 2. Oh, yeah. Silver Surfer, which was terrible, and I was pleasantly surprised if only because...

There was that cloud at the end. Yeah, because there was a cloud, and it was so much better, seemingly, than the first one, which was absolutely terrible. After the first Fantastic Four movie, I thought, well, this is it for superhero movies. You went to the roof. You were going to jump.

I was going to jump. Yeah, exactly. But then, in this movie, the first maybe 20 minutes of Transformers, I'm like, oh, this is pretty, this is fun. That's exactly what I thought this is kind of fun and then

all the Michael Bay stuff happened and then the human character is definitely better than the other ones and then it just sort of settled in

and I'm like oh I'm in for another 145 minutes of this and at that point all the goodwill was slowly sapped away until we got to the end and I'm like

well this isn't very good it's better what would you say well we'll get to it at the end we'll talk about it later but what you're about to say i agree with you what about the comic relief tj miller i love tj miller yeah and that he was okay with what he was given yes could we actually uh so lindsey ellis who was the nostalgia chick okay uh maker of funny

videos on the internet she posted before she went in to see Transformers 4, she posted Michael Bay bingo, which is where you cross off all the things that are going to happen in a Michael Bay film. And one of them, well, we've got beloved character actor humiliated. We can get to that. That happens to a degree. Actual cannibal Shia LaBeouf. Actual Cannibal Shia LaBeouf.

Actually, we'll talk about that later. But we're talking about comedic actors, well-loved comedic actors, doing very little in these films. Yeah, being very underused. Alan Tudyk. Alan Tudyk. Ken Jeong. Yep. What's his name? Nine Sweaters guy.

Andy Daly. So in this one, we have TJ Miller Yeah Who does Some good stuff With what he does He's great Yeah And we also had Thomas Lennon As the I didn't recognise him

Yeah The mustachioed Sort of president's Chief of staff Of the president He doesn't have a lot to do He didn't He mustn't have done anything

Because I didn't notice him at all Did he joke? Yeah he appears He's talking with Kelsey Grammer In an early scene And then he has a phone conversation With him later Doesn't he?

Oh, of course he is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We also had an inexplicable cameo and I'm not sure why. You may or may not recognise this guy

but one of the scientists later on in the film is played by internet personality Kasim G. I don't know him. Recognise that guy? He makes funny

internet videos. Okay. Which makes me wonder why we weren't in it. I mean, sure. We don't. Don't live in America and wonder why we weren't in it. I mean, sure. We don't. Don't live in America and look, we, you know.

And I've never appeared in a video. Yeah. Neither have you. No, but it's, you know, little points there. Okay, what are we up to? Well, I think that's

the whole thing about Michael Bay covering every demographic. Yep. Right? Yeah, I guess so, yeah. Like, you've got every, like, you've got

genuinely good comedians. You've got action stars. You've got hot chicks. You've got robots. You've got the Chinese guess so, yeah. Like, you've got every... Like, you've got genuinely good comedians. You've got action stars. You've got hot chicks. You've got robots. You've got the Chinese market. Bingo. Whatever. Exactly.

Yeah, yeah. Let's get into the spoilers, though, Mason. Okay, let's talk spoilers. Because who cares? Yeah, yeah. The story, right? So, basically, it boiled down to they had to get a space seed which would turn the tide of the war.

Yeah, so it's exactly the same. Which is everything else. It's every other film. Yeah. There's a thing that characters have to carry around. human characters have to carry it around yep uh there's a there's at the end there's transformers battling transformers and in the city and there's also a fistfight between two humans yes yeah intercut with scenes of government boardrooms and yeah yeah exactly there's a lot of that yeah and whatever yeah as far as the action goes did you

think it was an improvement as good the same who cares robot dinosaurs the same and who cares yeah um people are gonna be people are very disappointed i think that the dino bots got so little screen 20 minutes 20 minutes yeah yeah yeah yeah because i remember i looked at my watch when they came on you were looking at your watch a lot. I certainly was. Yeah. The storyline makes very little to no sense. I don't think Michael Bay understands how to do a reveal or a twist or anything like that. Was there a reveal in this?

Well, I'm thinking because, you know, there's Stanley Tucci's character, beloved character actor, humiliated. Yes. is Stanley Tucci's character, beloved character actor, Humiliated. Yes. His company builds the new Transformers because they find the Transformium. They sure do. To do that.

And do you want to talk about the Transformium effect? Absolutely. It's terrible, right? It's garbage. It's garbage. Unnecessarily bad. Yeah, and it doesn't... Is that a cost-cutting thing?

You mentioned that before the show. I don't know, but I would assume he has unlimited money at this point. Yeah. I don't know, though. This is going to go all over the place, I think. It's fine. But, like, the previous three films, Michael Bay has had sort of unrestricted access to military equipment.

Yeah. Because, as I understand it, in exchange for a positive portrayal of the military, which is fine because, you know, you depict the soldiers as being brave and whatever, which they are, obviously, but in exchange for that sort of thing, like a positive reinforcement of that,

he gets free access to military vehicles and stuff like that. He has to pay for the fuel or whatever, but he just gets them for free. And there wasn't any of that in he gets free access to military vehicles and stuff like that. He has to pay for the fuel or whatever, but he just gets them for free. Yeah. And there wasn't any of that in this film. No. Which maybe he is hurting for money in this one. Like, maybe they... Oh, yeah, it's possible.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, there was enough money with product placement, though. Yeah, good point. I want to talk about that later. Okay, right. We'll talk about it later. Okay, so anyway. Yeah, I don't know if it's a cost-cutting measure, but yeah, this new Transformer effect,

I guess they had to show him somehow that they were better than the original transformers but they're not no as shown but also because they they break into little cubes and like webs like a grid yeah and they kind of spin around and form whatever but even though they weren't in a solid form you could still kill them yeah yeah like and imagine to me if they could do that there'd be like a T-1000 situation, where you punch him, and it just goes straight through, and then it reforms.

They were no better. No. Then they could sort of float around a bit. Yeah. But that was, yeah. They go down just as easily as all the sort of Decepticon drones in all the previous...

Yeah. I guess they had numbers on their side, but other than that... But we're talking... When I say he doesn't know how to do a plot reveal I'm thinking about Megatron's return as Galvatron what was one of the first things you said when he returned?

I am Galvatron amazing right? right exactly because that's a clever nod to the first film where Megatron was thawed out of ice and said I am Megatron how great is that? but anyway so we see this new Transformer being built

yeah and it's clearly Megatron yes and he's like why does it keep sort of resolving as Megatron

yeah because it's Megatron because you've downloaded Megatron's brain you know that's what's happening if you'd have to be an idiot not to know that

and that's and you'd have to be an idiot to go into this film and not expect Megatron to re to like take over and make a reappearance. You wouldn't put that in. So surely it would make more sense for them to build their new Transformer based on Optimus Prime. And it looks like Optimus Prime, except it's grey and white.

And people would look at that and go, oh, they're building their own Optimus Prime. And us nerds would go, oh, they're building Ultra Magnus. And then we'd be like, oh, that's maybe, maybe they'll send him out to fight Optimus Prime and then he'll change his mind and they'll team up or whatever. And then he changes into the truck and they're like, oh, here we go. And then he goes out to battle and then he transforms and it's Megatron and we're like, it's Megatron, twist.

And then he's like, I am Galvatron. And we're like, it's Galvatron, double twist. But that would be better, right? Absolutely. That would have been amazing. Yeah, but... I was edging my seat there when you were describing that. But also, and I think we mentioned this last time when you said,

when we were talking about Transformers last week, you said, are you looking forward to maybe there being Galvatron in the next movie? And I was like, well, not really, because Galvatron and Megatron in the cartoons look quite different. Yeah. And they're quite distinct. But Megatron is just like a generic kind of

sort of pseudo-organic robot guy. Oh, in the movies, you're talking. In the movies, he's just a robot. Yeah. And in this one, he's a robot. Galvatron's just a robot, but he's a slightly different color. Yeah, not voiced by Hugo Weaving because he's in the bad books now in this one he's a robot Galvatron's just a robot but he's a slightly different colour yeah

not voiced by Hugo Weaving because he's in the bad books now oh is he really they've got Frank Welker oh Frank Welker the original there you go

well it doesn't matter because he said like two words irrelevant yeah well it's nice to see Peter Cullen and Frank Welker finally working together again

together at last I mean they didn't really speak to one another and I assume they were in separate recording booths but whatever did you enjoy the twist though that Galvatron didn't have a soul, because they have souls now for some reason. Oh, yeah.

I love that bit where Optimus Prime's like, yeah, I keep all my energy and my memories and whatever in my chest, and Mark Wahlberg goes, we call that a soul. Like, is that what we call a soul? Your memory's in your brain, Mark Wahlberg. So you keep those. I think, though, and don't take this as praise. Okay. The comedy was better. Yeah, okay.

Less kind of like, there were racial stereotypes, but there were less racial stereotypes. Let's check off the bingo, yeah. Yeah. Like, I like T.J. Miller, and even, Stanley Tucci, there were moments where I'm like, okay, the Tucci. Yeah. You're giving this the golden Tucci, and we appreciate that.

Golden Tucci, that's good. Yeah, I think you came up with that. Well, it is good. It's real good. Like, that I thought was better. Like, there wasn't, like, little robots humping the leg of Megan Fox and Transformers peeing on I like

John Turturro for example Turturro? how do you say that? he's great and he's very funny and seen Big Lebowski or any number of films

he's good a complete pain in the ass in the Transformers movie like unwatchable dickhead and one of those characters

where you're like how did you get into the position you're in how did you get into the position you're in? How did you get into a high-level... Three times, okay? First one, he's a high-level government agent. Second level, he runs a falafel place with his mother. Third level, he's a billionaire for no reason?

Right, right, right. Like... But yeah, the comedy was better, but not good. No, no, no. As I said, do not take that as praise. Speaking of TJ Miller, Michael Bay Bingo, name character killed, their friend's reaction is dismissive shrug. Right?

Pretty much covers it. Was he turned into... Also, here's a question for you. So basically, at the start of the movie, and I want to ask about this later, the aliens drop bombs which turns the things into metal, which you can then make transformers into. And that killed the dinosaur.

Yep. So in that, let's say, one kilometre square radius where they dropped those bombs, that killed the dinosaurs. No, they dropped all... I think it's implied they went around the whole world. Then why are there only limited supplies of this transformium then? Don't know. Do you see what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because otherwise they would have had to blanket the earth with it

because it was just it only covered specific areas it didn't kick up dust a dust cloud that blocked the sun or anything I'm not saying the movie is stupid Mason

no I think it's implied that I would suggest that and I don't want to be apologetic for a Michael Bay film but I think maybe they dropped enough

to more or less blanket the earth or do enough to kill the ecosystem and that killed all the dinosaurs okay fine whatever um i thought also yes the plot was incredibly convoluted there was at least i think they they had enough plots for two movies yeah or maybe that i think they had enough plot for two two-thirds of movies okay yeah. And they switched them together. That's why it's so long. And because it's kind of like the bad guy is Kelsey Grammer, who's employing Gunface to hunt the Transformers.

But he's also employing Stanley Tucci to make other Transformers. But little does Stanley Tucci know he's building Galvatron. Also, they name him Galvatron. Yeah. And Megatron then just goes along with it. He goes, well. Yeah, yeah. Like Megatron was. No, seriously, I'm Megatron. Remember that last time Galvatron, and Megatron then just goes along with it. He goes, well... Like, Megatron was... No, seriously, I'm Megatron.

Remember that last time when I said I'm Megatron? You're right. That was for reals. Yeah. That wasn't no jokes. No foolings. Yeah. So, like, and too many villains, I didn't care for that at all.

You know what I did like? Yes. The alien spaceship was an interesting design on the inside. It kind of reminded me of the alien movie. Right, okay, yeah. And I thought that was okay. And it was nice to see something that wasn't a desert or a city or a farm. I think it was interesting.

One positive of this film was it sort of gave us a look at this wider universe. Yep. Like we know there's alien creatures out there now. universe yep like we know there's alien creatures out there now yeah we know that we i thought it was quite confusing where uh lockdown wants to needs to capture optimus prime and optimus prime's this lockdown's like your creators want you back and it seemed to imply that optimus prime had different creators to everybody else but i think it's i think what they're they're saying is it's the creators of the Transformers overall. Want you specifically back.

Yeah, specifically they want you back, Optimus Prime. Because he didn't say our creators. No, that's true. It's a really good point. It is a really good point. I make lots of good points. That gun face has certainly got a lot going on beneath that gun face, hasn't it?

Yeah, a lot of levels. Yeah, yeah. Can we talk about the bit at the end where Optimus Prime flies off? Yeah. Like Gucci style? Yeah, yeah. Can we talk about the bit at the end where Optimus Prime flies off? Yeah. Like, Gucci style? Yeah, yeah. Exactly.

Sometimes he can fly. Sometimes he can fly. Because he got, like, jetpack bits in Transformers 2 or 3. Yeah, that's what he needed. Yeah. That's what he needed. But now he can just fly. That probably would have come in handy.

I'll tell you what. Absolutely. At certain points during the film. I mean, the only thing I could think of was, oh, he can only kind of fly directly up with that. Right. But he can fly far enough to go into space. So weird. He just took off.

He's just like, well, I'm going now. Yeah. And he left. Yeah. Yeah. Like, another thing that kind of is a missed opportunity in these movies, there's no Autobot ship or anything. An Ark or something. An Ark, exactly.

A headquarters, exactly. They're all just driving around the desert all the time. You're right. I was thinking that as well. Like in the cartoons, there's an ark. The crashed spaceship is in the side of a mountain. Yeah. They can sort of hang out there.

And it stays there for like millions of years or whatever. And then the computer finally boots it up or whatever. But yeah, the Dinobots though. Yes. First of all, I didn't like the design of any of them. No, neither did I them and incredibly underused and that whole thing was incredibly unsatisfying

and boring like by that point I'm like I'm done I'm done I'm not I'm not though to be fair

I said to myself before going in this look I'm gonna I'm gonna leave if this just keeps going on I'll just leave I don't have to sit here

I've never left anything before but towards the end I'm like okay I'll just leave. I don't have to sit here. Right, right, right. I've never left anything before. But towards the end, I'm like, okay, I'll just sit this out. Interesting you say that. There's an Australian film critic, his name's Luke Buckmaster. Yeah.

And he wrote a review of Transformers. And basically he said, okay, I'm going to, he's like, okay, at the start of this review, I set a rule for myself. If I'm not, if I'm not grabbed by this film

in 90 minutes, I'm going to leave. Yeah. Because 90 minutes should be enough for an action film and he said okay and also at the end of this review I'm going to reveal there's a twist at the end of this review and he says the review and okay here's the action

and here's the plot and blah blah blah whatever and he gets to the end of the review and he's like okay here's the twist I wrote this review before I saw the film and he's like okay had I gone to see the film and it was any different from what I said, I would have thrown it away and rewritten the review. But I didn't because it was exactly the same as I predicted.

That's amazing. So here it is, yeah. Well, Red Letter Media did an interesting thing this week. They sat down- We should have a segment where better people than us just do stuff. We'll just say what better people than us did. They set up the three Transformers movies and watch them at the same time yeah and it's amazing how many of them are still alive it's pretty much it's only a 10 minute video which

is great but yeah you can see that it's really like wearing them down towards the end and you see at the end they also get longer because the first one finishes then the second one finishes and the third one is still going but like they line up in the sense of the scenes nearly line up exactly where

this is the military bit this is the introducing the Shia LaBeouf character bit this is the first time we see the Autobots like it lines up right right yeah so

they clearly didn't break that formula at the end why would they if they made a billion dollars or whatever I'm trying to think of the other movies where's there's a scene

where it says it's okay to bang like an underage girl. It's just the one, I think. Yeah. This is their new innovation. Did you like the Dinobots? I'm sorry to keep

coming back to it but I'd love to because I remember you were like, oh, cool, Dinobots. I'm back in or whatever. You mentioned that. Yeah, not real.

I mean... They didn't say Grimlock. Nobody said Grimlock. You're right. I didn't know that peridactyl two-headed thing was supposed to be the one from the show.

It was a two-headed one. Yeah, yeah. Two-headed flying one. Yeah, I don't think it was... Swoop? I don't think it's supposed to be Swoop. I think it has a different name. None of them are anything.

Yeah, none of them are anything. Exactly. And they were largely unnecessary. They didn't really do anything. How long were they on that ship for? Yeah, just hanging out. Exactly. Like a long time, right? And also, we never...

Like, we see Grimlock right at the start. We see him dug out of the ice. Is that Grimlock, is it? Okay. Well, it must be, because it's the Tyrannosaurus Rex one. No, because that was at the start, and then he was on the ship at the end.

Right. So we never see what happened. I thought it was Grimlock, but then I thought that was just a skeleton that had been turned to bones and whatever. No, but the archaeologist bangs on it with a hammer. Yeah, because he got hit with the metal thing. Maybe, okay. And he's way too small to be Grimlock, right? All right, well, that was confusing. Yeah, it was confusing. Yeah, yeah, I agree. Maybe, okay. And he's way too small to be Grimlock, right? All right, well, that was confusing.

Yeah, it was confusing. Yeah, yeah. I agree. Okay, all right. But yeah, they were on the ship for a really long time. It doesn't really explain why they have dinosaur forms. Nope. At all, yeah.

I mean, and the thing about the... They don't make sense, the Dinobots, because they transform... Their disguise is to transform into a creature that is extinct, but a metal version of that. Correct, yes. So you've got two things there that don't work, but anyway, whatever. Who were the aliens at the start, though?

Who were they? Was that supposed to be the people who hang out in Unicron or whatever? Okay, so the cartoon origin of the Transformers is that there are these aliens called the Quintessons, who, if you recall in the Transformers animated movie... Three faces. Yeah, they've got the three, four faces and they spin around. Yeah. They might also be different, like they might have different...

Attitudes. Yeah, different attributes or whatever. Attitudes, that's it. Yeah, good point. There might be different species of them, like there might be more humanoid versions. So in the cartoon universe millions of years ago what the quinnisons were like whatever species they were millions of years ago created

the transformers uh the autobots were like consumer goods to like transform into like construction vehicles and whatever okay and the decepticons were military-like product. So Optimus Prime was like an oven. Yeah, he was an oven. Exactly, yeah. There were ovens, table tennis tables, other things. Anyway, so... But basically at some point they all rebelled and then they broke control and they went to cyber-trial.

And one was purple and one was not purple. Exactly, yeah. That's why all the Decepticons can fly, regardless of what they transform into, and only some of the Autobots can fly. Only the cartoon, though. Yeah. And Optimus Prime.

Optimus Prime, yeah. Well, they can't fly in the movies, though. The Decepticons? No. No. Not unless they transform. So I'm assuming that this is the... Like, who's...

I don't know. I mean, people are going to accept a lot of ridiculousness from the Transformers movies, but I don't know if they're going to accept the giant's four-headed spinny things. So, I'm going to say that this is the movie's version of the Quintessons. Okay. They created them, blah, blah, blah. They got out of control. I remember those from the movie.

Yeah, yeah. They're like, ah, God. Guilty! Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Precisely. Well, I'm glad. I wrote that down.

I was hoping you could answer that. When we talk product placement, I made some notes in the cinema. You're not supposed to do that on your phone. I don't think anybody cares. Who gives a shit? I'm sure there were a lot of people texting. These are some of the things I picked up on.

Only some. Okay. The Victoria's Secret bus. Yes. That something barrels through. That feels very cynical to me. We'd reached the point in the film where it's like, you brought

your girlfriend she's gonna be real bored at this point she's gonna want anything to distract her from this nonsense and we know it's nonsense so let's uh just throw in that let's just throw in the words victoria's secret so she can think about buying fancy underpants while you concentrate on robot dinosaurs blowing stuff up that makes perfect sense sense. I think so. It is. It's very much catering. It tries to cater to everybody in that way. Yeah. And it works.

In the lowest possible way. Yeah, in the lowest possible way. There was also an Oreo robot. There was. Yeah. For no reason. Yep. Uh-huh.

There's also that Sahura milk. It's in... Ken Jeong drinks it in the second one. He's in the elevator. It's like a Prima. I don't think they call them primas in the US. Like a juice box. Like a juice box, sorry.

We call them primas here. Of, like, Japanese or Chinese milk. I don't know. Like a coconut water, maybe? I think it might be something like that. I'm not sure. Look it up. It's fine.

But there's a bit where the... Don't look it up. Then you're falling right into their hands. Good point. Don't look it up. There's a bit where the toot runs to the roof to escape after there's that fight. And he opens a

fridge and there's He opens a fridge and he grabs one out and he drinks it and he's kind of like this is pretty good. And then it cuts away and it cuts back and

he's still drinking it. Like he's just holding it. Right. Just enjoying it. And then it pans out and he's just littered with boxes around him.

He's like drunk like ten. I thought that was amazing. And there's also a bit where thought that was amazing and there's also a bit where the guy speaking of that

there's a scene in that film during that point where we're talking about dumb stuff in films where like three people get into the

four people get in the elevator and they're like there's too much weight we can't go down and so Mark Warburg has to get out and defend his family

or whatever because of the biceps right because of the biceps. And then the elevator goes down and you clearly see a sign that says maximum weight nine persons. Like 380 kilograms

or whatever. It's the biceps, man. It's the biceps, you're right. And this ties into the next thing I'm saying. There's a bit where Mark Warburg says to the girl

or his daughter, whatever we decided we were calling her, it doesn't matter. There's only one girl. Her boyfriend. Yep. A lot of people hate that guy as well, like he didn't do much.

He didn't do much, but I didn't find him offensive. I thought the car chase, the first car chase room was quite excellent. Yeah, sure. Very tense. Me too. I thought that was good. And TJ Miller was saying music things. He sure was.

But where Mark Wahlberg goes, go steal the essentials because we're going to do this. And the guy brings back protein powder. And Mark Wahlberg goes, what did you bring protein powder for or whatever? And then later, you see Mark Wahlberg drinking, like he puts the protein powder in a thing and he's drinking protein powder.

Like that's amazing, right? We've never had that before. Because we want to be as buff as mark warburg protein powder at all times get whatever kind of that was just phenomenal to me i don't have any more that i can think of the top of my head there was a there was a bud leak they're crashing a bud light of course yeah and he cracks a beer on the door yeah yeah that's one of those where if we're talking humor and the humor in this that you love so much there's the point where the spaceship crashes on the guy's car

and he's like, I hope you've got insurance. That's not, no one would ever say that. No, they'd be like, holy shit, are you okay? Yeah, yeah. Or what just happened? What's this spaceship? Is it a spaceship? Are you filming a terrible movie with giant robots?

And the prop's falling down on my car? I mentioned this, I did a review of this Mason as well. It's fine. Check it out or don't. This is clearly aimed, not to, I'm not saying this is to the detriment, but it's aimed at the Chinese market

in a big way, which a lot of movies are. We talked about this before. Iron Man 3 has a deleted scene, which is specifically only shown in China. Where he just hangs out in China. He's like, this is great.

So much to see and do. And there's an act act there's Chinese actors and whatever that they bring into Iron Man 3 and just that bit but that I found that very noticeable

in this it didn't break the movie there are clearly some Chinese pop stars in a car yeah exactly and I actually I looked that up

he's apparently a very famous guy whatever yeah yeah there's a scene where that guy in the elevator must have been somebody right

yeah who does the martial arts on the bad guys the girl who the tooch loves she was she was Blinky

in X-Men so yeah I mean it's I can understand it it's an enormous market but it's just it's very nice it's interesting that

she is a character in these films she's a female character who isn't completely useless like or annoying or annoying but at the same time She is a character in these films. She's a female character who isn't completely useless. Or annoying. Or annoying. But at the same time, it's kind of a cop-out when there's a female character and she's like a tough, take-charge character.

But that's only because she punches people. Yeah. Like, that's not... Like, you know, you think of, like, Shrek. Movie Shrek. Yeah, sure. You constantly think of the movie Shrek. Hey, now!

Yeah, I know. And there's Princess Fiona and she's supposed to be you know she's this damsel in distress but she's also I'm a kick ass character but that's just because

she can do slow-mo Matrix Kung Fu like not everybody has to know slow-mo Matrix Kung Fu you can be a powerful strong character and just do other stuff

sure anyway like ironing is that what you want to say that's exactly what I mean yes so yeah no you're right. Really good point.

Now before we get into our rating, Mason, I've got here questions for Mason. Actually, can we do... Did you note down scenes... Oh, sorry. We missed that. We missed it. Yep, sorry. Scenes to cut out.

We want to talk about this. Let's talk about some scenes. This is what I want to talk about. The scenes that you could have cut out of the film to trim down the running time that would not affect the plot at any point. Or the Dinobots. Yeah, or the Dinobots. Exactly.

What was that? Can you go back? There was a scene that you were just talking about that I think they could have cut out. I've got here... Give me your iPad for a second. All the product placement. Yeah, okay.

They could have cut that out, but don't because there's money to be made. No, I missed it, but that's fine. Okay, so one of the things you just said earlier. Okay, so the statutory scene, the age of consent scene,

take it out, completely irrelevant. Just make her 18. Yeah. There's no... Doesn't have to be. And she... I think she's like 19

in real life. Right, so just make her 19. It's fine. The scene where Lockdown powers up the giant magnet in his ship and starts sucking everything up and then dropping it after a while, completely unnecessary.

We've already had so much action at that point. Just kidding. And also, that was stopped when somebody fired a missile into it. There's no reason they couldn't have done that right at the start because it's a magnet it would have attracted the missile. Yes. All you could have done, all you needed to do to get rid of that.

The only reason that happened is because they needed to shoot down Lockdown ship so Lockdown and Optimus Prime could fight. Pisticuffs. Yeah. So all you have to do is say, ship's got a force field. We've all got these big guns. We need a really big gun to shoot it down. Then the Dinobots show up and one of them's like,

hey, I've got this really big gun. Do you need it for anything? And they shoot down the ship. And they're like, nah. Yeah. One minute that would have taken. Really good point. So, chop that out.

Also, early on in the film, there's a scene where Mark Wahlberg and the boyfriend and Bumblebee drive into KSI, the company, to get the car scanned. Yeah, there's a weird heist bit. Sorry? It's a heist bit? Yeah, it's a heist.

It's completely unnecessary. Because all they... Right, they bring it in. All that happens is Bumblebee gets mad in a weird adolescent way. Yeah. It is replacement. He pushes it over. Does he have a child's brain?

I think he might, yeah. Yeah. And then Mark Wahlberg snoops around a bit. It is replacement. He pushes it over. Does he have a child's brain? I think he might, yeah. Yeah. And then Mark Wahlberg snoops around a bit. They catch him. They find out that the Autobots are being melted down to create Transformium. The Autobots get mad like children. They

run in. They cause a ruckus and then there's a chase scene. You need to get to the chase scene. It's really easy. You cut out all of that. You have them... They've got the little drone. You fly it into the air vent. You have it go down into the science bit.

It sees that there's... Autobots and... Autobots, whatever. Autobots get mad. Drive in there. Cause a ruckus chase scene. But then no humans. Doing stuff.

Doesn't matter. Chop that out. No, you're right you're absolutely right chop it out yeah yeah that's 10 minutes well this movie's

11 minutes longer than the last one yeah and the last one went for a very long time it's still going the first showing of Transformers 3

is still going in cinemas god yeah the more I think about this the angrier I get I know right because when I came out

I was kind of like indifferent I'm like I just I think because I'd seen it I'd be like that was exactly what I thought it of like indifferent I'm like I just I think because I'd seen it I'd be like that was exactly what I thought it was going to be

but anyway questions for Mason Mason okay I'm ready what did you think of Optimus Prime's line at the end when he said to

Mark Wahlberg every time and I wrote this down exactly every time you look to the stars think of one of them as my soul

dumb that's terrible, right? It's really terrible, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you think they killed off T.J. Did you like, sorry, did you like how they

killed off T.J. Miller and later included a near-identical scientist character? Do you think they did that because it would be confusing if there were two guys who were a little bit

overweight with beard and long hair? Yes. You know who I'm talking about? Yeah, yeah, the British guy. Wasn't it lucky that Mark Wahlberg's daughter had a boyfriend who raced cars? It was very convenient, yeah.

But I mean, that's... I guess their target market loves cars, right? Were you trying to get that sweet Fast and the Furious crowd in there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't want... You don't want him to be a regular guy. Do you notice how that guy was great under pressure when driving a car but couldn't do anything else? That's true.

Like, literally anything else. And also, I thought, because there was a line in there, they're all driving about. And he's like, I'm driving so amazing today, I don't even understand. I assumed that the reveal would be that his car is a Transformer. Oh. And then it'd be like, but it wasn't. No. It was a fake out.

Not a deliberate fake out, just a dumb fake out. I thought that car was a transformer. Me too. Like when it turned up until he... Yeah, yeah. Notice how he drove up in that ditch and he hit the guys in the face with his tyres? Yeah, they died. That's some precision traffic.

Their necks got broken. They didn't really know that they were the bad guys at that point, surely. They didn't know what was up. All he knows is Mark Wahlberg had, I don't know, built a nuclear weapon. Exactly, yeah. Did you like how Mark Wahlberg used a good old-fashioned American football to kill that agent? Oh, how convenient. But that's a classic 80s movie where if you have a skill...

Set it up at the start. Set it up at the start. No matter how useless it is, right at the end it's going to come in handy. Break dancing. I've been hit with a football. Yeah. You don't fall out a window from it dancing. I've been hit with a football. Yeah. You don't fall out a window from it. You did, though.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. But that's just too... And it was my birthday. Oh, no. Pretty great. Okay. Pretty great.

Okay. Okay. Should TJ Miller, the comic relief, when he found beat up dirty Optimus Prime, turn to the camera and say, Optimus Prime, more like Optimus Grime. Yes. No, but he didn't know his name. That'd be dumb. Maybe after when he came out.

No, I think he should have struck. Like, as soon as they found the truck in the theatre, he should have said, more like Optimus Grime. Turn to the camera. You're right. No, absolutely. One more question, Mason. Okay.

Remember that bit in the alien ship where the girl was at the cage? Yep. And there was that alien hanging upside down licking her and it wrapped its tongue around her and she cut its tongue off yep that that ship was full of bounties right that guy was a bounty hunter yep do you think there's a chance that that guy could have been wherever planet he's from he's the jesus of that planet and she just tore off his tongue ah because he didn't he wasn't particularly aggressive maybe that was a like a thing in his culture to be like hello or help me or whatever i think you know how in international waters no laws apply like you can kill a guy you can take you can go in a boat and if somebody gives you trouble you

kill them and it's fine because no no killing, I think in space, it should be double no rules. Okay. You know what? If he's Jesus, it's fine. Cut his tongue off. Everything's fine. She's fine. He's fine.

Whatever. Okay, cool. Yeah. Because I thought everybody in that ship was sort of a good guy, right? They could capture the Dinobots. They're kind of good guys. Where did they go at the end, the Dinobots? Just wandered off.

Just probably underwater. Ran off into the woods? I reckon. Because they were near the water. Where did they go at the end, the Dinobots? Just wandered off. Just probably underwater. Ran off into the woods? I reckon, because they were near the water. I reckon they probably just went underwater. Okay. Yeah. That's an additional question. That wasn't related to questions for me.

Any final thoughts, Mason? Ah, boy. No, that's it, I think. Well, it's time for the rating. Okay. Look, it wasn't... It avoided a lot of the problems of the previous ones. There was no racism.

There was some racism. There wasn't this military thing where the military are the best all the time, whatever. But I think that was more accidental than anything else. I think that's more a contract that's broken. The contracts are broken down. Different writers, they just spun the plot wheel. The characters weren't as annoying. I don't think they

spun the plot wheel at all. It came up the same 99% of the time. Look, I think it's on par with 1. Yep, I'd agree with that. By sheer chance. Except for the length. It's way too long. So I would say it's Yep, I'd agree with that. By sheer chance, I think. Except for the length. Yeah, except for the length. It's way too long.

So I would say it's on par with... It's better than 2 and 3. Yeah. It's one of the best Transformers movies, but it is not a good movie by any stretch of the imagination. Worst movie ever? Yeah, worst movie ever, yeah. Okay.

Well, I've just got here. Look, like I said, I was going to leave, but I didn't. Great. So that's something. If you like the transformers movies there's no reason why you wouldn't like this correct it's the same thing and if you hate him you hate him and but then then again the rotten tomatoes rating is much lower than all the previous ones it is the lowest it is the lowest which means maybe even if you do love all the previous Transformers movies, you're just sick of them.

I don't see how you could love those ones and not love this one. Right, okay. Maybe you're just tired of them, though. Maybe you're overloaded. Yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah. For me, yeah, worst movie ever. I didn't hate it.

I honestly didn't hate it. I know exactly what these things are. You can see, like a Transformer mason, you can see the moving parts. Oh, there we go. Thank you very much. Nice. You got anything there you want to add before we...

No, that'll do it. Alright. Look, some people wrote in with some opinions, Mason. I'm ready. Daniel Tonks... Because you wrote a review of... Oh, no.

Sorry, this isn't that. This is just people who have sent in a couple of emails. Daniel Tonks wrote in. He goes, I just came back from Transformers. I lost my faith in this movie 20 minutes in.

There we go. Worst movie ever. Jonathan Boozer says, The Booze. I feel like sometimes we need to sit back and enjoy movies for what they are, like giant aliens that turn into vehicles and dinosaurs and fight. Sure. Makes a good point also.

Till Elston said, I didn't like the Transformium, and the visual effects of blocks changing was a big downgrade from the physical transformations which is one of the coolest parts of the movies very true in fact

potentially the only cool part of the movie if you think about it and the interchangeability of the Decepticons was even worse than the previous movies that's very true as well

my goodness my goodness I've got a bonus segment to add I'm ready as you know I posted my review and I called it worst movie ever

because lockdown wasn't called Gunface. Correct, yes. So I got a bit of flack for that, Mason. I thought now's a good opportunity to read some of those. I'm going to call these constructive criticisms that people have given me. I love it. I'm ready to listen. Maybe I can also take these on board.

Sure. This is from Farid. I know I shouldn't be encouraging, you know, people write such nice things and I'm not reading that out. Oh, sure. Oh, well. You win some, you lose some. Yep.

Farid. Look, and you know, positive stuff. People are saying positive stuff about you. It's just boasting, really. That's true. Yeah. Good point. Farid Taltio says, this is all caps.

I'm going to start rather tame here. Transformers Age of Extinction is the best. All caps, right? Yep. Alex Kramer says, one word, just says, hater. That's it. You're a hater. Yes.

To be fair, you are a hater. Keroz Gaming says, I hated your video. Great. DeathByFallingCats says, I was thinking about subscribing to you, and then you said this. And then Walter Kovacs said, in response to this, said what? And then CalebPace05

chimed in and said, everything he said, he's a dumbass bitch. Like, seriously? He can suck a donkey dick fuck and haters great haters i love it ultimate i've never i've never see and i know we've we've we've taken a lot of shots of this film right here but ultimately i don't care yeah like my there's a lot of movies out there i love and if somebody's like hey I hate the movie and here's all the reasons

I don't care yeah you're entitled to that it's fine exactly irrelevant ultimate geek club gaming club

for fun yep doesn't matter what he says it's irrelevant one word one word hey you it is better than 2 and 3

but I bet the Dinobots will have more screen time in the sequel also fuck off. Great. Angelo DeJesus says, This guy with a gun on his face isn't called Gunface?

Are you retard or not? Well, are you? I don't know. Inappropriate. Inappropriate. Jomar Estorela says, Hater. People love that word, don't they?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought hater was like the... I would say hater was like mid, like maybe 2005. Okay. Like I think that was the expiry date. Sounds like something from a Sum 41 song. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hater, shut up, noob.

And you haven't seen the movie yet. And I've seen it already. You're a big hater. Don't like you very much hater that's great that's my that's so far my favorite one that's the last one the ultimate insult you haven't seen the film but i've seen the film yep good good they're pretty amazing aren't they yeah that's what that's what i love about doing reviews i don't enjoy reviews but i love the comments. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Makes it all worth it, you know? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, Mason, you know what it's time for. What is it time for? Let's get the fuck out of here. Oh, okay, cool. No.

What are we reading? Oh, okay, great. What are we going to read? Okay. I'm doing the thing. What are we reading today? Tell you what, I'll start. Two things. Because we're talking about lovable character actors,

we get no screen time, no chance to do nothing. The Tooch! The Tooch, for example. I don't have a Tooch example, but... Devil Wears Prada. There you go. Oh, yeah. Lucky number 11.

Yep, great and easy, eh? Okay, here's one. So, if you go on Vimeo, you can find a short film. It's like 25 minutes long from 2010. It's called Successful Alcoholics. It's got T.J. Miller. Yeah. Delightful comedic actor, T.J. Miller and Lizzie Kaplan.

It's about these two people in a relationship and they're alcoholics, but they're inexplicably successful. And it's comedic, but also quite dark in tone. I like both of those people. It's a good watch. It's quite dark, especially towards the end. Will it make me feels? Yeah, it might make you feels. I'm both of those people. It's a good watch. It's quite dark, especially towards the end, but... Will it make me feels? Yeah, it might make you feels.

I'm not watching it. Okay, done. Also, secondarily, because we're talking about Thomas Lennon, Thomas Lennon, comedic actor, also with Robert Ben-Gurant, who is his co-star in Reno 911. They're also a writing team

and they've written a lot of films in Hollywood, many of which are not good. But they have a book out. Because I know a lot of films in Hollywood, many of which are not good. But they have a book out. Because I know a lot of our listeners are aspiring filmmakers and writers and stuff like that. They have a book out. It's called Writing Movies for Fun and Profit, How We Made a Billion Dollars at the Box Office,

and you can too. Real book. Good fun. Good read. Get it on Kindle. And it's got a lot of top tips and stuff like that for writing movies in Hollywood, you know, kind of like your passion projects are not going to make it kind of thing. Oh, wow.

Okay. Maybe they will, but it's kind of like if you want to make money, here's the tips, you know, you've got to... Don't put all your eggs in your passion project. Yeah, just kill your darlings. You know, you're going to submit this script and it's going to be torn to shreds and here's how to survive that kind of thing. It's super funny. They've got a lot of good examples and stuff like that. So it's not like, stick to your guns.

No, it's absolutely not. Follow your heart. But it's good. I'm not interested in filmmaking at all, but it's a fun read. Okay, cool. Also, Thomas Lennon, it's probably not available anymore, but there's a WTF with Mark Maron where he has a chat with Thomas Lennon and they talk about that screenwriting process and that's super fun you should all listen to that as well all right yeah it's good thomas lennon thomas lennon good stuff what about

you what what are you reading well i've got here is related because i'm done with transformers oh yeah i've got here i'm sick of fucking transformers right and it's just type that out on your phone and read it to yourself constantly it burnt me me out. The movie broke me to the point where I just don't care. I read the All Hail Megatron and I actually got to volume number four and I just stopped. This is after I saw the movie. I'm just like, you know what? I'm not. And it's good.

It is. But I'm just like, I've had enough. I made three videos on Transformers. I watched a lot of those movies. I'm done. I'm seriously, I'm a lot of those movies. I'm done. Yeah. I'm seriously, I'm just done. The movies have ruined everything else Transformers for me.

I could not possibly recommend a Transformers related thing this week. So I'm glad I had other options. Yeah. Well, in the past three days, I've smashed out Fargo. Oh, the TV series. Sure, yeah. It's great. I've heard great things.

There's a lot of like allegory and metaphors and things like that. Thematic things. You know that. Thematic things. You know it. Thematic themes. It's probably... It seems like a cross between Fargo the movie and Breaking Bad. Okay. It's only 10 episodes of the first season and it's very self-contained. It's great performances.

Billy Bob Thornton's a great villainous kind of character in it. Martin Freeman's great. If you like the Fargo accents in particular. It's got Key and Peele. Oh, yeah, yeah. The sketch company team. Who I enjoy. They do that substitute teacher thing,

one which I quite like. But yeah, that wasn't the thing I really wanted to recommend. I also have something that TJ Miller's involved in. He is in a show called Silicon Valley. Is it She's Out of My League? Because both Andy Daylor and TJ Miller are in that. I think so.

That's amazing. Yep. Gun fingers. Gun fingers. I'm losing my mind. Yeah, TJ Miller at Silicon Valley. It's basically about a startup company in Silicon Valley where they're trying to get this...

Is it an app off the ground? I can't remember. It's an app program kind of thing off the ground from basically nothing, and they luck into some funding at the start. The guy who runs it is a guy called Thomas Middleditch.

He's done a lot of stuff on college. Is this a dramedy? It's a dramedy, yeah. It's by the guy who did King of the Hill. Oh, um, um, um, um, um. Mike Judge.

Mike Judge, there we go. And he's... And Office Space and all sorts Office Space, exactly. And he had some experience with this in the 80s. Uh-huh. So a lot of this is based

on what he went through. It's also got Kamau... Kamau Nanjiani, yeah. Kamau Nanjiani, who's great. He's an Englishman. He's got Martin Starr from Freaks and Geeks. He's got Martin Starr who's also got uh kamal kamal who's great yep exactly great cast this is a party down recommendation because lizzie caplan party down here you go so yeah real great at recommending yeah somebody wrote in and i apologize for this wrote in a while back and said i watched uh all three episodes of black mirror and i hated it if you're gonna watch something that we recommend, maybe give it ten minutes.

And if it's not for you, just switch it off. Just switch it off. It's fine, yeah. Not everybody has to like the same thing. It's okay, you know? For example, I don't like your dumb shirt, Mason. Wow. It's my favourite shirt.

That's why I said it. Yeah. I'm not even wearing it. I just brought it around. Nailed it to you all. All right, Mason. That's what we're reading for this week. Sage, though.

We've got some emails. Oh, good. First one's from Sage. She sent in a lovely email and she put some links into some awesome videos. Plus, information on a movie that we missed out.

Remember we did a podcast on superhero movies that aren't based on comics? No. No, I do remember. Talk about one that we actually missed. Well, I might have to watch it and then we can probably...

We'll probably do another episode on that at some point. But her main question was... Hang on, what was the movie? I can't remember what it was called. Great! It was called Up, Up and Away or something. Oh, I remember that, yep. Why didn't you bring it up at the time?

I didn't remember it at the time. Now Sage is angry. Sorry, Sage. We've lost a listener, a friend of the show. She's got a question. She said it was... She was wondering if you could suggest any good comics that feature King Arthur as the main character. I would have done some research, but I had done some research, sorry,

but I've not come to great conclusions on which ones are worth to read or not, and I was hoping you could help. Thought of anything? King Arthur as the main character? Yeah. No. I can't think of anything either. You know what?

Before you publish this, give me a minute to think about it and maybe we'll edit one in and we'll look super smooth. Like we know what we're talking about. Gotcha. But no, I've never been a super huge fan of any kind of medieval fantasy comics

and stuff like that. Okay, sure. Yeah, yeah. Well, they're not an incredibly popular genre, would you say? No, not at all. Yeah. There's actually a Transformers episode where...

I'm only going to recommend that Iron Man, Doctor Doom storyline where they go back in time. Okay, well, this Transformers episode is where I think Starscream and a few other Transformers go back to King Arthur's days. Wow. It's called like a Decepticon in King Arthur's Court or something like that. I can't remember exactly.

So, yeah, there's that. So, not only they went back in time, they went back in time to like a fictional universe. I wanted to recommend, though, the movie, if you love King Arthur, the movie First Night with Richard Gere and Sean Connery. No, don't recommend that. That's a trick. That movie is hilarious. Okay, fine.

There's a bit, and hopefully I can edit this clip in, where Sean Connery has like a breakdown. I thought you were going to say a breakdance. He does have a breakdance, but he's just like, Why? And he's on his knees like hands in the air. It's pretty incredible. That sounds good.

Why? Why? It's British accents all the way from Richard Gere. Oh, I bet they're good. Okay, I've changed my mind. I'm recommending that too. Maybe there's a comic book adaptation. Yeah, give it 10 minutes.

There's a Dark Horse adaptation of it maybe. Give it 10 minutes if you don't like it. Turn it off. It's very 90s as well. Fantastic. Another one, I guess, Search for the Holy Grail by Monty Python. It's pretty good. Certainly, yeah.

That's a good one. So, yeah. No, I'm sorry we couldn't Search for the Holy Grail by Monty Python. It's pretty good. Certainly, yeah. That's a good one. So, yeah. No, I'm sorry we couldn't help you out there, Sage, but good luck. Good luck out there. Don't watch the club. Read a few.

Let us know what is the best one. Yeah, absolutely. And if any listeners have any ideas, email me. Yeah, I would like to hear about a good one. Yeah. Camelot 3000.

Is that a comic book that happened? I'm sure it sounds like a comic book that happened. Yeah. Hang on. I've just got to double check something, Mason. Okay, well, I'm going to look at Camelot 3000 while you do that.

All right. Any luck on the old Camelot 3000, Mason? Camelot 3000. Mike W. Barr, who I believe created the character Warlord. So maybe it's good maybe it's not who's Warlord what's he about

he's a guy he's a I'll show you a picture you'll be delighted is he a Warlord yeah sort of but he's he's like an old guy

no shirt you know that loincloth that's my favourite pretty great right I mean I have an iPad in my hand I could look it up

you could look it up actually maybe you didn't create Warlord never mind forget I said anything alright this is from Dan Winston Mason are you recommending something 3000 no and I could look it up. You could look it up. Actually, maybe you didn't create a forelock. Never mind. Forget I said anything. All right, this is from Dan Winston Mason. Are you recommending something 3000?

No. All right. Take a punt. Who knows? I was hoping, he says in brackets, he's just really surprised, to get a shout out for having completed my third consecutive year as an overworked, underpaid public servant,

a.k.a. an elementary teacher. Don't get the wrong impression. I love my job if you feel extra generous could you also shout out my school the Creative Landscapes Learning Centre

for doing for doing such great work for three full years now shout out and shout out two shout outs good stuff I thought you were going to veto the school

oh that would be great because you hate school yeah I know right you hate learning skills for nerds learnings for nerds knowledge is for nerds don't like any of it.

He also said, look, is there any point in the future where we'll have guests on the show? As soon as we're technically capable of doing that. Absolutely. And actually, there's somebody I do want to get. I want to get the guy who's making the Death of Superman Lives documentary

about Tim Burton's dead Superman movie. Because he's doing this whole Kickstarter funded project where he's looking into it and what the story was going to be and he's got all the concept art and some designs and he interviews like Tim Burton and a bunch of other people from it

and I cannot wait so I'd love to talk to him. So we're going to Skype him in maybe? Yeah, maybe. Or not. We'll have to figure that out. You're going to be away in September for a sort of thing

so depending on whether or not I can operate editing software or not, we might record some episodes before you go, or it might just be me and we'll get some guest hosts in. Absolutely. We'll see how that goes. Email in your resume, everybody. Yeah, absolutely. Now you've got some people in mind, don't you?

Yeah, I do. I'll figure it out. I heard you've got a girl maybe lined up. Is that true? Girls are for nerds, Mason Yeah, I know, right, exactly, yeah Okay, AJ Alvarez has written in Mason And he's in the United States Navy

And he's currently on deployment And he says our podcast is the only audio he has on his phone That is unfortunate I hope it's his ringtone His phone ringtone just plays an episode of our podcast Yeah, I can't wait for the next demo Which is, guys, I don't wait for the next email, which is, guys, I don't have a phone anymore because I threw it into the ocean.

But thank you for listening. That's great. We appreciate it. He goes, how do you guys feel about the Wanted movie slash comic? Does Mason have any random facts about it? Look, I... I didn't read the comic when I saw it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you?

Had you read it before? I read it beforehand, yeah. I think they generified it a little too much. Yeah. Like, I think I would have... But at the same time, Wanted the comic book is like Watchmen in that it's sort of a breakdown of the superhero genre.

Yeah. Like, unless you know a lot about... Unless you know some of the stereotypes about comic book characters and superheroes and villains and stuff like that yeah maybe you wouldn't maybe the film version you wouldn't get a lot out of it i think okay you sort of have to you sort of have to because it exists in a world like it exists the wanted comic book world was a like a like a kind of a four color superhero-y you you know, fun superhero world

until the villains finally won and then sort of... And it implies that it is the DC world and the Marvel world. Like, it's implied that there are all those worlds, isn't it? Because there's a bit where you see his dad wearing the Spider-Man boots. Yeah, I think it's sort of implied that the villains also head to parallel universes and kill the good guys in those universes as well. It's probably too much of a concept for a movie, maybe, but I would have liked to see him take a crack at it. I mean, the fact that they're all villains. Every main character in that is a villain.

Every main character in that is a villain. But I think, I've said this before, there's a bit where he, I remember specifically saying this on the show, that he admits to raping a high-profile celebrity. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we've talked about this again before, where one of Mark Miller's, Miller's, Miller, whatever,

whatever you say, one of his flaws is, he seems to just put things in to shock that have no purpose. Right, right, exactly, yeah. So, you know. But don't get me wrong I enjoyed reading it it's a

good read but the movie not as much yeah but he does tell you yeah exactly he's he's very hit and miss there's a lot of there's a lot of

like Nemesis I thought was a good read but again there's some there's some weird stuff in there there's the one and you know

there's a lot of stuff that he just puts into shock, and he's like, well, why can't I just, you know... Yeah, do something horrible. Well, he's actually doing one at the moment called Starlight, where it's like a Flash Gordon-style guy who goes back to the planet that he saved as like a 60-year-old man.

That's quite good. It's only like four issues in, but I'm keeping up with it. It's more kind of genuine and earnest than... You just wait, mate. You just wait. Okay. Thank you very much, Angel. Also, fun fact about that movie,

James McAvoy is the only character in that film who is also Professor X. That might actually be wrong. Who knows? But there's a fun fact for you Well unless Patrick Stewart's not in it We can do this

And whoever voiced him In the cartoons May have been in it May have been in it It might have been Halle Berry Wait it's Angelina Jolie In the movie Okay

It is Though The character in the comic Is clearly based off Halle Berry And the guy was based off Eminem Yeah Apparently the video game

For that was okay at the time. Okay. It was like a pretty bog-standard third-person shooter, but it had the curved bullet mechanic. Oh, okay. And it's more comic book style in the sense that you get the wanted suit. Right, right, right. It's closer to the movie, but there's comic book elements from it. Okay.

Apparently it's okay. All right, cool. All right. I can't remember who this is from. I'll look it up in a bit. I'm not sure if either of you have read or know much about Moon Knight, but if you had, what issue would be good for someone to jump into who hasn't read it for a while?

I haven't read any Moon Knight, but I've heard there's some stuff going on at the moment, which is really good. Yeah, yeah. Start at the... You know what? Moon Knight is one of those sort of B-list characters where they relaunch his sort of identity every time.

And he's a character who's had multiple... Jamie Duncan, sorry. It's from Jamie Duncan. Yeah, he's a character that has multiple sort of identities and so they can just sort of reboot him at any point. I'd say start at the start of the current series. I would imagine even if you don't know enough, even if you don't know anything about the character, they'll fill you in

like enough to get by. Okay. Don't get bogged down because there's too much backstory. He's had too many, like he's a cabbie but he's also a war veteran but he's also,

he loves magic, you know. We all love magic. We all love magic, exactly, yeah. Yeah. He also says to tell Mason,

sorry, say to Mason on the next podcast that he doesn't even lift. You don't even lift, Mason. Are you familiar with that? I'm familiar with, yeah. That insult.

I'm aware that I don't even lift. You know what I'd say to you, buddy? You're a hater. That's your problem, mate. You're just a hater. Take that, Dunks. Yeah. Take it to your grave.

That's right. No, you're right. Thanks for emailing in. Last one. This is from, sorrying in last one this is from sorry second last one James Senior

he's the official Scott Pilgrim of the Weekly Planet Podcast if somebody puts puts that in an email when I read it out I'll say the thing that they are

fantastic makes it worse it says being British he's British and Scott Pilgrim double whammy I was wondering if you guys

have ever had the chance to check out our offerings regarding regarding superhero TV shows I was thinking if you guys have ever had the chance to check out our offerings regarding superhero TV shows. I was thinking Misfits and the hugely underrated No Heroics. I love No Heroics. I think it's great. That's the one with the guy from The Office, the British office, who's in it?

Who's the boss, the other boss that's not David Frank? Yes, it is. Yeah, he's like the Superman character, but he's very arrogant kind of. I've heard good things about both of these shows yeah so No Heroics is basically it's

it's in a it's set in England and it's a world where superheroes are real but they mostly just hang when they're not being superheroes they hang in a bar

called No Heroics where you go in there's no superpowers allowed kind of thing and you just sort of and it never there's not any special effects and stuff

there's special effects but they're British special effects sure you know what of and it never happened there's not any special effects and stuff there's special effects but they're British special effects sure you know what I'm talking about but it's quite it's very funny

if you're a fan of superheroes yeah I've heard that and Misfits seen it intermittently yeah that's one of those

also one of the series and British series like to do this where they'll slowly phase out like cast members okay like somebody will quit the show

and they'll just subtly replace them with a, you know, slightly different character. Yeah. Like, four series in, no original characters. Okay. Yeah, yeah. I've seen it intimately. It's pretty good fun.

Is there an American version of that as well at the moment? I might be wrong. No, I think you're wrong. I think you're wrong. Well, first time for everything. Happened years ago. Now there's been hundreds of times where I've been

wrong. Keep up the great work. Tell Mason he's a real dickhead but retract this immediately if he can get a shout

out. Shout out. Retracted. Nice. You know what? You are a dickhead. Then no shout out.

Taking it back. These are my terms I do not negotiate with terrorists or Australians. Brutal. They do rule us, though, the British, so in a way it's kind of terrifying.

Yeah. Because the Queen can come here and she can behead any one of us. Just on a whim. Well, she's got those scythe arms, so I guess she could. Do you remember that show? It was with one of the guys from Father Ted, the younger priest, and he was a superhero and then a baby that could talk? Yes.

Oh, what was it called? Super Dad, i don't know it wasn't called super dad oh yeah i remember it that was okay wasn't it yes no it wasn't that was called the character was called thermo man yeah it was yeah didn't include that on your list did you have british friends because it was terrible you know what was a good british show keeping up appearances no incorrect appearances is the Transformers of British TV. Because it's always the same. It's literally the same episode.

I'm sorry, nobody cares about this. I'm going to stop. Courtney Heck has written again. Hey, Courtney. Yeah, she's great. She's the official hunky gentleman of the show. Because Ralph took official sexy ladies. All right, fine.

I like how that works. Maybe they'll get married. Can you imagine? I hope so. Yeah. I, yeah. All right, fine. Good, good. I like how that works. Maybe they'll get married. Can you imagine? I hope so. Yeah. I'm graduating from high school this weekend, and I'm the valedictorian. I presume that's me. That's like the ducks.

We call them ducks, don't we? She's the best one, yeah. She's the best one. Of course she's the best one. She listens to this show. That's right. It's unrelated. But, you know, let's claim it as our own.

Were you the best one at your school? No. I was pretty close. No, you weren't. You're right. Yeah, I am the valedictorian so I could have could I have a shout out

on congrats it would be super cool shout outs so many shout outs that's pretty great isn't it I mean books are for nerds so we don't condone learning but I guess

well done that's great that's really really good let us know what you're doing for your future endeavours you know whether it's college or college basketball or what else do they do in the US?

Oh, no, it's college and college basketball. That's it though, I think, yeah. College football. Of course. Yeah. People keep writing in. I can't remember who exactly. It might be the same person updating me on Australians and basketball in the NBA and

what happens. I've got no idea what's going on. But I appreciate it. Yeah. All right, Mason, that's a show for this week. Fantastic. Next week. You know what we're doing? What no idea what's going on. But I appreciate it. Alright Mason, that's a show for this week. Fantastic. Next week,

you know what we're doing? What's that? Who knows? I do know. Yep, secret? Not a... I can tell you. Is it the Planet of the Apes thing?

It's the Planet of the Apes thing. Okay, cool. So I'm thinking we'll watch... We won't watch all the Planet of the Apes movies because there's seven currently out. Yeah, yeah.

But, we'll watch the original, we'll watch the Tim Burton one, which is a reboot, and then we'll watch the James Franco We'll watch the Tim Burton one. Yep, great. Which is a reboot. And then we'll watch the James Franco one. And we'll talk about the series in general. Wow.

You haven't seen the James Franco one. I haven't, no. It'll be a new experience for me. It's real cool. Do you like apes? Not really. I'm afraid of them. Yeah, they snap for no reason. Apes are mean.

Apparently apes, when they snap snap the thing they go for they go they try to break your jaw we've talked about this on the podcast I don't think we have we definitely have we've talked about it in life many times

jaw and genitals that's what they go for yeah man that's horrific big thank you to the Bruton and Basilisk absolutely theme songs

every week love them can I close this out can I close this out in the traditional way you would as as befitting Transformers episode. Sure.

Listeners of the Weekly Planet, if you're out there and you need to contact us, find us at Weekly Planet Pod on Twitter, Gmail and Facebook. You can find my compatriot at mr sunday movies my name is at wikipedia brown no copyright right that's parody yeah right yeah it's fine was there a lincoln park in the song in the new one i bet there there was. Yeah. Great stuff.

Anyway, we're closing it out. Thanks for listening, everybody. Thanks, everyone. What have done? You're walking in the woods. There's no one around and your phone is dead. Out of the corner of your eye you spot him. Shia LaBeouf. He's following you, about 30 feet back. He gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint. He's gaining on you.

Shia LaBeouf. You're looking for your car but you're all turned around. He's almost upon you now, and you can see there's blood on his face. My God, there's blood everywhere! Running for your life, from Shia LaBeouf. He's brandishing a knife, it's Shia LaBeouf. Lurking in the shadows, Hollywood superstar Shia LaBeouf. Living in the woods, Shia LaBeouf. Killing for sports, Shia LaBeouf. Living in the woods, Shia LaBeouf. Killing for sports, Shia LaBeouf.

Eating all the bodies. Actual cannibals, Shia LaBeouf. Now it's dark and you seem to have lost him. But you're hopelessly lost yourself. Stranded with a murderer. You creep silently through the underbrush. Aha! In the distance. A small cottage with a light on.

Hope, you move stealthily toward it. But your leg! Ah! It's caught in a bear trap! Gnawing off your leg! Quiet, quiet. Limping to the cottage! Quiet, quiet. Now you're on the doorstep! Sitting inside!

Shia LaBeouf! Sharpening an axe! Shia LaBeouf! But he doesn't hear you enter! Shia LaBeouf Sharpening an axe Shia LaBeouf But he doesn't hear you enter Shia LaBeouf You're sneaking up behind him Strangling superstar Shia LaBeouf Fighting for your life with Shia LaBeouf

Wrestling a knife from Shia LaBeouf Stab it in his kidney Safe at last from Shia LaBeouf You limp into the dark woods Blood oozing from your stump leg. But you've won. You have beaten Shia LaBeouf.