The Weekly Planet - Barb Wire - Caravan Of Garbage

Episode Date: July 24, 2025

We're back with the next installment of our look at Comic Book Movies that people might not know are comic book movies! This week, the Pamela Anderson 1996 action vehicle Barb Wire. Based on the comic of the same name published under Dark Horse and Comics Greatest World it sees Barbara "The Wire" Kopetski facing a distopian nightmare future in the far flung future of 2017. And for a movie that isn't great it sure has it all. Fights! Motor bikes! Explosions! An extended stripping scene whilst Pamela Anderson gets hosed down for a really long time! What a time to be alive. Thanks for watching our Caravan Of Garbage reviewSUBSCRIBE HERE ►► http://goo.gl/pQ39jNHelp support the show and get early episodes ► https://bigsandwich.co/Patreon ► https://patreon.com/mrsundaymoviesJames' Twitter ► http://twitter.coQm/mrsundaymoviesMaso's Twitter ► http://twitter.com/wikipediabrownPatreon ► https://patreon.com/mrsundaymoviesT-Shirts/Merch ► https://www.teepublic.com/stores/mr-sunday-movies The Weekly Planet iTunes ► https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-weekly-planet/id718158767?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4 The Weekly Planet Direct Download ► https://play.acast.com/s/theweeklyplanetAmazon Affiliate Link ► https://amzn.to/2nc12P4 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Welcome back everybody to another episode of Caravan of Garbage where we're going through the That's a Comic Book Movie series. Oh yeah. That's right. I knew this one was a comic book first. Yeah, but some people might not have known it was a comic book first.

Some people might not have known first. So you're breaking news to them. I'm breaking ground here. They're calling their parents. I'm a groundbreaking YouTuber over here. It's true. They are calling their parents. Mom, Dad. Did you know this?

Barbed wire. Yeah, that's the one. Yeah, Pamela Anderson. Barbed space wire, just to be clear. But time cop is time cop one word. Right, ah. But barbed wire wouldn't be one word. But it's her name!

Yeah! I know, I'm telling you! Okay, are you? But it's not her legal name, Barbwire. No, it's not. It's Barbara Wire. Her full name's Barbara the Wire, based on the HBO series. I like to think so.

So please leave a like on this video for Barbara the Wire. This is another Dark Horse adaptation like Time Cop and also The Mask. That's true. Which we've looked at before. But this was set in the the original Barb Wire is set in Dark Horse's comics greatest world. Yes. So prior to this though, I would say they were mostly known for the you know, Alien vs Predator style series. We talked about this last week. We did talk about it They were known for like you know Star Wars comics. The Emperor's back whatever. Exactly and so they came up with their own superhero universe called comics greatest world which I think at the time was sort of

intended to capitalize on comic book superhero the speculation boom. Right. Because they could then have a bunch of number ones and they're worth a million dollars They were all worth a million dollars like Superman number one, which is called Superman number one It's worth a million dollars Along with barbed wire number one and ghost number one and X number one. You remember all these guys? I don't okay So the universe it was like a parallel earth It was in the present day though and a vortex had opened up in the 40s and had given a bunch of people superpowers. So in her comic book, Barber Why lived in Steel Harbor, which she

does in the movie. There is a civil war going on, but like it's sort of, she's making peace between all these superpowered like biker gangs. But she's not superpowered. No, she's regular powered. Right, okay. But in this they're like, what if it was the far-flung future of 2017? It is and what if the writer of this movie had seen Casablanca a bunch of times? It is Casablanca

And I had that thought I had that thought about 20 minutes in the ending is literally Casablanca It is isn't it? Yeah, so but it looks like a like the ending to a Vinnie Chase movie And it yeah, it does doesn't it and and I very naively Went I wonder if anyone else has had this thought and I looked it up and I'm like, oh everybody did Roger Ebert did And everybody else down the line from the moment this came out because I'd never seen I'd also never seen this before but it's It's Casablanca except set in the far-flung future of 2017 and with the genders reverse Yeah, so Bob why is Humphrey Bogart reversed. So Barb Y is Humphrey Bogart, sorry Pamela Anderson is Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman is played by Temuera Morrison.

Good to say, I didn't know he was in this. I didn't know a lot about this. I think I also got it confused with Strip-a-rella. Oh yeah. Yeah, remember that? What if a woman was also a stripper and a superhero? That's Stanley's imagination working overtime. Yeah. God bless him. RIP. His imagination did stop working after a certain period of time. Was it right before Striperella?

Potentially. Do you want me to do that Arnold cartoon thing? No. Don't worry about it, it's a few years back. Hey Arnold? Yeah, hey Arnold. Okay. So yeah, there's an opening crawl, which tells you what's going on.

There's a second Civil War Wow, this is very 2017 to now isn't it? Absolutely. Oh Ahead of its time. Also, I should point out it's not that bad. Like this was crushed at the time Yeah, by critics in the public. I'll say this it's it's not that bad if you frame it as It's not that bad if you frame it as like a direct-to-video B movie like something you would get at the the blockbuster or the video shop in this era But as a full-scale movie, it's pretty oh, yeah sure, but it's it's not that far behind timecop No, you know what? It's like do you remember when Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez made grindhouse?

Yeah, and it was two movies that were sort of meant to be reminiscent of old exploitation, cheap action movies, but they actually spent a ton of money making them. To make them look like... Yeah. This is what it would have looked like if they'd actually not spent any money. Like if they'd actually gone, we will not spend any money and we'll kind of cheap out on everything and we'll just use the available light and we'll just see what happens. Bob Wire is what it would look like. So yeah the director of this is David Hogan. Okay

of Hogan's heroes fame. Correct. Crook bloke by the way. I know we retired the crook bloke alert. Okay. Because there's too much ambiguity and there's degrees of crook bloke alert. Okay, because there's too much ambiguity and there's and there's degrees of crook bloke-edness That's true. Actually, so, you know, didn't we just start that going? Yeah, but just trust me It's a bit of Lawrence for like can we not do this and I'm like, yeah, fair call Perhaps we could have a crook bloke frame and it's just a colored frame. It is around every video And you can just take from that what you will absolutely It's and you can just take from that what you will absolutely so David Hogan in the behind the scenes of this He's described as the action sequence director of alien 3 and Batman forever, and I thought what the fuck does that mean? Yeah, it's a second unit director on those okay, but he has directed a bunch of movies and

Just watching behind the scenes There's one moment where he's talking about what it takes to shoot an action movie like this And he said the problem is if you get carried away with the technique of it, you're gonna get screwed, blued, tattooed. That's what he said. Okay. Was that a technical term in Hollywood at the time? Yeah, yeah and it's technical. It's still used now. James Gunn used it on the latest Superman. Oh wow. Yeah, it's all the behind the scenes.

He is big and blue. He certainly is, yeah. Screwed and tattooed. Yeah. But also, Pamela Anderson or PamelaLee, as she was known at the time, I think she's a pretty decent action star. I think you can see they put some stunt work into it and some training and all of that.

Because of the incredible jank? Is that how you can see how the stunt work is going? Because there's so much jank, there's so many quick cuts in this movie, because they have to switch between the actors and the stunt men like every two seconds. Yeah, but she does a lot of that herself, but also she's in high heels in a corset. That's true.

It's an incredibly difficult thing to do. I would say I love Pamela Anderson. Not in a horny way. Oh okay, in a respectful way. I think she's delightful. I don't know if you've ever seen... That crook bloke alert nearly went off there. That's right.

Have you seen her Criterion Closet video? No I haven't actually. She's so thoughtful and delightful in her selections. But she was in a movie last year called The Last Showgirl. Which is great. Just a wonderful little poignant film. It's got her and it's got Brenda Song and it's got Dave Bautista with a wonderful head of fake hair.

Oh my god. I mean she's having a bit of a pam-nasence if you want to call it that. She's having a pam-nasence isn't she? Yeah. Well this is the era of like, this is idiot like that was the general consensus and the sex tape got I was gonna say leaked it was stolen from her house. That's true. It was not a good time for her I think she is a from from what I can see in the present day She's a she's a lovely thoughtful actor that was missed cast for her entire career. Yeah, basically. Yeah, she's pretty fun in this

She's clearly been told to deliver a whole bunch of like, stereotypical action lines. Absolutely. She doesn't like to be called babe. Now that's her one character trait. Yeah. Also, she gets her boobs out immediately. Absolutely.

I just, just, we discover the context later, but it's basically she, she's a bounty hunter. Yeah. She does anything to, you know, make a buck and survive in this world. She's a mercenary and a bar owner and I thought for a minute a part-time prostitute, but not really. No, but in the opening sequence we realise that she has gone undercover as a stripper to rescue somebody from this bad situation and of course that requires her to sit on a swing on stage and get hosed down in a rubber dress.

It's so long that scene. And it looks cold and not in a horny way. I just mean being hosed down for presumably days at a time to film this. Do you think in Clint Howard's house there's a framed photo of his name next to Pavler Anderson like in the credit sequence? Probably. Hey, you're a Canadian podcast listener and that makes you important to us. Pablo Randison, like, in the credit sequence, right? Hey, you're a Canadian podcast listener, and that makes you important to us. We'd like to know more about you,

what you think of this podcast, and the other podcasts you'd like to hear. So we put together a super brief survey we'd like you to fill out, complete it, and we'll give you a chance to win one of three $100 Amazon gift cards. That way we can say thanks for your opinion. Just go to mypodcastsurvey.ca and have your say. That's mypodcastsurvey.ca.

But I think they probably, the producers of the time probably went, we know what people are here for, Pamela Anderson nude. So we'll do that we'll get that out of the way yeah straight away so then people can sort of move on with their lives it's a it's a Star Trek to the Wrath of Khan situation oh okay well you think Spock is dead no you think well obviously you know the before that movie came out the rumor was of course that Spock was gonna be fully frontally nude in that movie right and so when you go into the movie yeah he's fully frontally nude in that movie, right? And so when you go into the movie, he's fully frontally nude, you know, on the bridge of the enterprise.

But then it turns out he was just fully frontally nude in a training program. So later on in the movie, when he actually is fully frontally nude, you're surprised and you're taken aback and you're quite emotional about it. You liked seeing his Klingon dick, didn't you? That's exactly right. That's what it is. Yeah, he got it swapped out. I didn't make a mistake there.

That's right. I know he's not a Klingon mason. That's right. With his ridged penis, I know that. That's right, that's what it is. Yeah, he got it swapped out. I didn't make a mistake there. That's right. I know he's not a Klingon Mason. That's right. With his ridged penis, I know that. That's right, yes. It was certainly Klingon onto the side of his leg, wasn't it? It was. Well apparently also that wet strip scene

as it was referred to was Pamela Anderson's idea and inspired by a nightmare that she had where she was being sprayed with champagne while performing a nasty dance. So there you go. Okay, great. Yeah. Also she got, and you probably remember this, she got a barbed wire tattoo

on her arm at the time, which no doubt inspired the cast of Lord of the Rings and then later Suicide Squad to get similar tattoos. So yeah, that's fun, isn't it? It's a bit of marketing in real life. Something like Aunty Donna would do. You know what they did. So the story of this,

we sort of touched upon it. It's right. You know what they did. I know what they do. So the story of this, we sort of touched upon it. It's Casablanca. It's Casablanca. So in Casablanca, Ingrid Bergman shows up at Humphrey Bogart's bar. Her husband- After he's drying off from a wet strip. That's right. That's right.

Because her husband needs to leave the country and they need to get some transit papers. Yeah. But you don't have transit papers in the future. So in this movie, Temuera Morrison shows up to Barb Wyse Bar because her, because his wife, who wasn't really his wife, but just a lady he sort of knows, she's an important doctor. She needs to get across the border. But in this world, everybody gets retinal scanned to determine their identity.

Yeah, with like the biggest retinal scan you could probably put in a movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so... A lot of this is about retinal scans, determine their identity. Yeah with like the biggest retinal scan you could probably put in a movie Yeah, yeah, and so a lot of this is about retinal scans by the way. Yeah. Yeah, so yes And contact lenses because yeah in order to get across the border She needs to acquire these black market contact lenses where you put in the contact lenses And then the retinal scanner goes very good sir good day. Have a good day You can go across the border or Someone's like you idiot this guy doesn't have eyes Pamela Anderson's brother doesn't have eyes Just put some just put some blank lenses in your eyes and be like I don't have any eyes and they'd be like well very good

sir Congratulations because you put the scanner on a person's eyes, and then it's like identified mr. Sunday movies You're going to jail or whatever what but later in the movie she gets her eye scanned, spoilers, she gets her eye scanned when she's got the retinal scanner in, and it's like, just very good. Doesn't identify her, is that not a red flag? That it's just like, good stuff, you can go anywhere you like. You're the president I think.

Or whatever. There's also a thing where there's like a bunch of fascist cops wandering around, they're real, real SS, jackbooted thugs kind of situation. Udo Kier's also in this movie and he's not on that team, which is wild to me. Yeah, they've got John Connor's stepdad, which I love.

He got stabbed through the milk. He did, Zander Berkley is Claude Rains in this movie, I think. How did you remember either of those names? I don't know, anyway. Incredible. Oh yeah, also this team of jackbooted thugs they can also scan people's dreams and memories with another scanner it's a different

scanner. Sometimes it's a sexy machine. It's a sexy machine and they put a sexy bikini on you and that can read your dreams. But sometimes it isn't. Sometimes it's just a regular scanner I guess. Depends whether you're alive or dead or not. Yeah and how sexy they perceive you to be. I'd imagine. Also there's a virus they want to release. And in the behind the scenes they're like It's like AIDS.

It's like an AIDS metaphor, but it's airborne. It's sort of like AIDS I guess. Because that was the most terrifying thing at the time. Philadelphia would just come out and If they made this movie today it would be like There's social media in the air. Because that's the most dangerous thing you're gonna get canceled on talk book or whatever. Yeah, also Barbara wire She's always making deals and then she goes to like collect the money for the deal But that person never has enough money or betrays her but Barbara wire was always ready

It's true for when that happens three to four times in this movie. I don't think she ever Just makes a clean deal in this No, it always goes awry, but I guess that adds to the paranoid nature of the character of Barbara wire You know, she's been let down too much including by Tamiyawara Morrison who left her on the battlefield in a hilarious flashback sequence That's right. Well, they're all dressed as characters from mash She's taking the hot list full hand roll obviously. RIP to that actor. Absolutely. Should I put a name in? I'll remember a name. Loretta Switt. RIP Loretta Switt. We miss you. One of the best. Grabbing Temuera Morrison off the back of

Once Were Warriors. Incredible get I think. Great. I mean he's great. He's really good. And I just I'm not used to seeing him like this anymore you know because he's got all that and you know like this is a very particular era of him that I love and he's great now Don't get me wrong. He was book of Boba Fett not so long ago. That's that was nobody's fault Let's not point fingers. All right, I think it's the era of him with hair that I miss, you know You're right. And sometimes they'll put him in Aquaman in a lava wig, but it's not the same That's not what I'm talking about. I think it is the same You might be right. Oh, yeah

So at the end it all comes to a head when they they meet in a junkyard and she gets betrayed by Fatso Jones Or whatever his name is and then John Connors stepdad who gets stabbed through the milk. Hmm Sure, luckily he gives her a grenade and and whatever and then they do a bit of a run around. That's right It's pretty funny. You know, she apparently she was really hanging up there and whatever and I love her Temuera So what happens is one of the jackbooted SS thugs or whatever he spears her motorcycle with a forklift and sort of oh That's a main player in this by the way the motorcycle that was a huge selling point of this movie Anyway, he sort of shish kebobs her between the forklift and another car and then Temuera Morrison is like, you know how I'll save her I'll put the forklift up on a crane and I'll dangle them over a bloody some docks and I'm a hero

She sorts the whole thing She pulls her leg out from being trapped and then she fights this guy on a forklift on a crane Yeah, you know defying death at every moment and then she finally like drops the crane because you know he calls her babe or whatever Yeah, I got you bad, you know and she's like you call me, babe. That's my catchphrase I wasn't gonna kill you but now I'm gonna kill you. I was gonna lose this fight But now I'm not and the forklift drops off and explodes in 10 more hour Morrison's like thumbs up We did good here leave me on the ground next time idiots I Got a kicked him off. Then you could have just like dropped a big rock on him or something.

Right? You know? Anyway, he exploded a lot. When it was falling down, he was like strapped to the hood of that. I'm like, that's disappointing. You want it to kind of flip over, so we'll like crush him. But then it did explode, so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll pay you. I'll pay you back. I would say they really kind of, they did that thing from the, you know, the B-movies of this era where they really took advantage of the small stunts they kind of did. They're like, okay, we're going to film this van, you know, crashing through a barrier and everything explodes. Let's film it from six different angles.

And then we're like... Then you get to see that. Yeah. I mean, it's good. I'm not saying it's bad. I'm saying it's good. No, no. I mean, it's a real explosion. And then we finally get to see the contacts in use at the end, as you mentioned. And they're the color of Nobody's eyes ever no and no one suspicious. Yeah, like this is fine

surely in this world of Incredible surveillance based entirely around the technology of looking at people's eyes No one will ever try and game that system with fake eyes two million dollars as well. Apparently they're worth. That's right. Makes sense Anyways, it's time for Barbara trivia. This is a trivia section of the show. This is where we talk what's going on. Oh yeah. Some behind-the-scenes stuff. So the character's actual name is Barbara Kopetzky. That's correct. So there you go. And also we talked about the barbed wire tattoo. She got it removed in 2014. I see. End of an era. I agree. Also the original comic book run of this ended shortly

after the film's disappointing reception. But you know, I feel like this is probably due for a comeback, right? I know they reprinted some like 10 odd years ago. But I feel like this is something that because of the panacea, this will come back. I don't think it will. Well, you know, people are loving the idea of Billy Zane returning to the Phantom.

People aren't loving that. What are you talking? You, maybe you are. I'm loving it. I bet you are. And that enthusiasm is contagious. Okay, sure. Much like an airborne HIV virus.

Sure. I guess they could reboot it. I guess. Yeah. They could reboot a flop that nobody liked at the time or now. Just as a comic I'm talking about. Oh sure. That's what I meant initially. Oh, cause that's cheap to do.

Yeah, it's cheap to do. Yeah. Clint Howard actually reprises his role in this in the Hulu mini-seriseries Pam and Tommy in 2022. What? Yeah. You remember they did that series without her permission? Oh, okay, right. It was like, Sebastian Stan. Yeah, they didn't call me about it or anything. They just made this really traumatic event that happened in my life.

But at least my good friend Clint Howard, who I work with and bonded with on barbed wire, at least he didn't betray- oh, he did. He betrayed me big time. Also originally Tommy Lee was gonna be played by James Franco That alarm went off. I know we said it wouldn't but that alarm went off. He probably didn't star in it because he died Remember he died. That's probably true. And we don't know what he's really like. That is true, isn't it? The entire don't call me babe Thing. Yes. That comes from the original advertising for the barbed wire Dark Horse comic book in which she says those words to differentiate herself from the buxom, slightly airy comic book hero named Babe by Jon Burn.

Like the pig? Yeah, the pig. I don't know this one. No, I'm unfamiliar. Yeah. Bad move being like, I'm gonna differentiate this character from a character nobody's ever heard of. The Perspex bath sequence. Oh yeah, she's got a Perspex bath, was shot in an aquarium in a tank that was usually used for seahorses but the Soapsuds then contaminated five other tanks

and there was over $400,000 in fish related deaths and replacements. There was a fish murder. A fish mass murder it seems. Wow. Maybe it was just one really expensive fish. Oh maybe. Yeah yeah yeah. Like a fancy one. Like a fancy one that you fillet it very fine for a fillet of fish. Exactly. According to the crew of Mystery Science, Theatre 3000, the movie which came out in 1996, Gramercy Pictures and Universal decided to scale back on that movie's intended wide release and redirect their resources into heavily promoting Barb Wire, resulting in disappointing theatrical grosses for both films.

So there you go. I don't know if that's to blame for both of these movies not doing well. Would you say that? No, let's blame it. Okay, fair enough. Well let's talk box office because on a budget of $9 million the return was $3.8 million. That's less. Huge bomb. Did this get a cinema release in Australia that I

couldn't tell you let's find out let's research this feels like a movie that was shot in Australia also I don't think it was no released on May 3rd 1996 yeah yeah good on us yeah good on us I mean bad for us because we didn't support it yeah you know I mean I couldn't I was legally not allowed to see this movie as much as I'm sure I would have wanted to in the Year 1996 you think it was MA related probably so do you think it was MA rated? No doubt 15 plus Yeah, that's right extra rude So these were the things that was nominated for in terms of golden raspberries It was nominated for worst picture worst actress worst screen couple worst screenplay worst new star

Which had one worst original song which was called welcome to planet boom by Tommy Lee Brutal also like worst couple in this movie. She's not even really in a couple no she's like maybe worse throttle Yeah, but also she's kind of with John Conner stepdad. Oh, yeah, I know not but not really she's it no No, I don't know what's he's like want to go on a date and she's like no way babe And then it's the end of the movie or whatever. Yeah, yeah, that was good She was also nominated for worst actress at the stinkers bad movie Awards. I wonder if that still exists doubt it Yeah, but she was nominated for best fight at the MTV movie Awards for a fight with Steve Railsback.

There you go. See the Nazi guy? Probably. Alright. He was on top of a thing. I think Tamiwera Morrison should have also got nominated because he was pivotal. Because he was pivotal. Fuck.

Because he was pivotal. Fucking hell. What's wrong, Mason? I don't know, man. Because he was pivotal in that fight scene. I think he should have also won worst occupational health and safety. Oh you reckon? Yeah.

Okay. Alright. I'm pretty confident Stinkers is gone because you know there's no room for negativity in the world anymore. Not now mate. Certainly not on the internet. No. Good riddance I say.

Agreed. Best movie ever made this movie. Yeah. Anyways we're going to come back next week. Do you know why? Why? Because we're going to look at a real stinker. Oh good great. Maybe actually. What is it? Here's a hint. Can't remember. It might be bulletproof monk. It could

be bulletproof monk. Yeah yeah yeah. I don't know what that's about. And if you do want to see that early you can actually head over to bigsandwich.co where the videos always go up there. Don't they Mason? That's exactly right. Early. Whoa. But we also do video game let's plays. We do bonus movie commentaries. We do bonus podcasts. We also have a podcast called The Weekly Planet where we talk movies and comics and TV shows. That comes out every Monday if you are interested on YouTube, Apple, Spotify. What a show. What a show. We got nominated for worst screenplay.

Great. Like a Lil Stinkers award? That's it, yeah. We are a couple of Lil Stinkers. Agreed. Anyways, thank you so much to Ben and Lawrence for the edit. Thank you, Ben and Lawrence for the edit. Thank you Ben and Lawrence. And don't forget to subscribe to just all of YouTube, just as many as you can.

Yeah. And if you can get some barbed wire tattoos with our faces, top and bottom. Australian invention? Barbed wire? I feel like it is. I'll get a Hills Hoist tattoo with our faces. All the Australian inventions. Well, there's two, that's it.

Yeah. Okay, bye. And then at the end, I just remembered, I thought of Kobayashi Marude. Very good. You put that in. That's great stuff. Thank you, James. Hey, you're a Canadian podcast listener, and that makes you important to us. We'd like to know more about you, what you think of this podcast, and the other podcasts you'd like to hear. So we put together a super brief survey we'd like you to fill out, complete it,

and we'll give you a chance to win one of three $100 Amazon gift cards. That way we can say thanks for your opinion. Just go to mypodcastsurvey.ca and have your say. That's mypodcastsurvey.ca