The Weekly Planet - Best of The Weekly Planet 2016

Episode Date: January 2, 2017

Thanks to @RAWCollings for putting together this edit for the most requested segments of 2016! See you all in 2017. The year it is now. But on the 16th.Intro:2:15 - Theme2:25 - Mason’s Clips3:56 - Sunday’s Clip4:00 - Dog Attacks & Wine5:14 - “The Littlest Lady in Podcasting”5:57 - Dog Strikes Back6:06 - The Heshen Sack Man Mystery9:38 - Just Wondering11:55 - Old Man Part One Roughly the News:14:24 - HOT TOPIC QUICK NEWS NEW SEGMENT17:00 - A Ruffalo Rap17:58 - Spider-Man vs New York20:14 - Hot Topics & Last of Us21:00 - Fantastic Beasts & Gay Wizard Hitler25:48 - Hot Topics & The Crow26:36 - Tetris Da Movie28:23 - Dr Jekyll & Mr Greatest Actor in the World32:32 - Mandrake & Defenders33:54 - Star Wars: An Economics Story36:31 - “Inhumans”39:35 - Ugg Boots40:05 - The Coriander Vendetta42:10 - Worst Joker Ever?48:15 - #RogueOneIsAPrequel50:49 - #PacinoTheLivingPlanet55:45 - Steppenwolf is Cool & Fine but Wrong1:00:30 - Hot Topics Ending Reviews & Topics:1:00:58 - Star Track Beyond (Wigdar, Dirt Bikes, Nerds & Normal People)1:04:53 - The BvS Vendetta1:11:03 - Smell Piss? There’s Something Amiss!1:13:41 - Stop Copying Me Interval...Interval1:14:15 - Lüt Crate1:14:48 - Let’s talk about Civil War (Fight Scenes, Audis & Ant Men)1:16:52 - The Sausage Party Journey1:21:15 - Suicide Squad (Maso Quotes & Boomerangs)1:26:52 - Mason’s Minigun Minute1:28:03 - Back on Trank1:29:52 - A Stranger Thing1:30:20 - Dr Strange (Turning things into Snakes & Avengers Auditioning)1:34:52 - Old Man Bogan1:39:12 - #BatmanGrabBag1:42:43 - The Widest Heads in Hollywood1:43:38 - Note: Remind James to take the bins out.1:46:04 - The Defenders? Of the Earth?1:46:48 - IROOON FISSST1:46:53 - Ring a Ding Ding I Predict a Thing1:48:40 - What?1:48:50 - Standy Uppy Horse1:51:22 - Under the Sea1:51:29 - Harry Potter & Dumbledore is Magic1:54:54 - The thing about The Walking Dead… Superhero Showdown:1:59:12 - Indominus Rex vs Alien Queen2:00:00 - Scrooge McDuck vs Bruce Wayne2:02:20 - Darkwing Duck vs Howard the Duck2:05:00 - Phasma vs Fett H8 Mail but the Hate has an 8 in it:2:08:14 - Ghostbusters, BvS & other things What We Reading/What We Gonna Read:2:18:31 - Antimicrobial Adventures2:22:15 - Keeping Up Appearances2:22:57 - Old Man Part Two2:23:24 - Filthy Casuals2:24:03 - Bonus Ben & Bandcamp Letters:2:26:49 - Letters theme2:27:45 - “I just loves memes so much!”2:31:47 - Poke Mongo2:32:23 - The Most Anticipated Movie?2:34:14 - First Job Tales2:40:32 - Podcast Pooch & Old Man Part Three2:40:55 - Which Star Wars Character Would YOU Be?Amazon affiliate link: https://amzn.to/2VljkKuPatreon: https://www.patreon.com/mrsundaymoviesMr Sunday Movies YouTube Channel: https://goo.gl/lB90W2The Weekly Planet YouTube Channel: https://goo.gl/1ZQFGHFind out T-Shirts here: https://goo.gl/q6gE9C  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

James, we've been lost in this ventilation system for hours. I don't like this scenario. But I mean, as it is, we've been going back and forth so long, it's starting to feel like one piece of ductwork filmed from several different angles. You know, like a TV show where the budgets run out and they have to do something undignified like a bottle episode or a clip show. But it got me thinking, James. Oh, yeah, go on. What clips would we put a bottle episode or a clip show? But it got me thinking, James. Oh, yeah, go on.

What clips would we put in if we had a clip show? Now, hear me out, James. I'm listening. I know you want to get out of here to see your family. I'd rather, if I could, yeah. I want to get out too so I can tell people I'm on the latest episode of The Little Dumb Dumb Club with Tommy Daslow and Carl Chandler, available on iTunes now or in a couple of days.

I don't know. I'm trapped in a ventilation shaft. I already know this. Why are you telling me? Nobody's here. It's just us. I'm just trying to keep a regular routine going so I can remain sane. You know, doing promos and such. I understand. Anyway, until we find the exit,

I'm going to tell you all about my favourite clips from this year in the show. I reckon the first one will go a little something like this. Red hot comic book. Welcome back everybody to another episode of the Weekly Planet, official podcast of comicbookmovie.com where we talk movies, comics, TV shows. My name is James, also known as Mr. Sunday with me as always is my co-host, Nick Mason.

1-5-0, 1-5-0, 150, century and a half, century and a half. That about sums up how we've been going. Yeah. Yeah. What progress we've made in 150 episodes. It's just me shouting incoherently again. Welcome, Nick Mason, to the real 150th episode. I was just going to do a thing.

This is the real one. Well, good work. Episode 152, you've made it 150 episodes. That's right. Because I've been away for two. Let's listen back to some classic James moments from his 150th. Roll the tape. I hate coriander.

No, not the Teen Titans character, the spice. I hate it. And for some reason, I'm airing my grievances on a podcast about superheroes. I'm going to talk about it. I hate this guy from my high school that I haven't spoken to in 10 years. Why is he doing so many sit-ups on Facebook? I'm airing my grievances on this superhero podcast for some reason. Anti-microbe.

Anti-microbe. Anti-mic. It doesn't. It's okay when you're sweating it. Oh, so many great memories. So many good memories. Thanks for putting that together, by the way. No problem.

It took hours. Oh, it's me, Nick Mason. I'm a big dickhead. Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of the Weekly Planet, an official podcast of comicbookmovie.com, where we talk movies, comics, TV shows, sometimes video games. Not this week. My name is James Olsen, and it's Mr. Sunday.

With me is always my co-host My dog And Nick Mason I'm being attacked by a dog I'm being attacked By a vicious dog Yeah That I insisted Sit with me on the couch

She's pretty good Hey dog Do you like her spirit? Yeah Speaking of spirits Speaking of spirits You're drinking wine Yeah I am drinking wine

You're drinking wine Out of like a A regular glass Just a regular glass Because as I told you Before the show I'm against wine glasses You're drinking wine out of like a... A regular glass. Just a regular glass. Because as I told you before the show, I'm against wine glasses. They're dumb. Why do you have to drink a certain glass, like a certain drink from a certain glass? Because you've got to swirl it.

No, you don't. That's all bullshit. Yeah. Champagne flutes, dumb. You have to swirl it smugly. It's too small for your mouth. It's no good. Do you put your nose in it when you drink?

Just drink everything out of a sack. That's what I say Do you put your nose in it when you drink? Just drink everything out of a sack. That's what I say. Just a Hessian sack. Hold it over your mouth and just wring it into your mouth. Just drink your wine

out of a bloody, like an animal bladder or something that you've fashioned into a drinking or a fine lute-crated drinking horn which is how I do

most of my drinking. You know you do. What's going on in your life? Just taking a sip of this delightful Diet Coke. Do you prefer it over the other Coke, Zero, whatever it is? Yes, I do. I went in. I was on the way here, and I stopped at a fish and chip shop.

Great story. No. Moving on. No. It's a really – look, it isn't a good story, but I'm propelling forward because you've been disdainful of it. So I went in there, and I, oh, you got a Diet Coke? And they're like, no, just Coke Zero.

And I'm like, I've been sent to get a Diet Coke. Like, oh, the little lady wants a Diet Coke. Guess what? It's for me. I love it. No, I think you often refer to yourself as the little lady. That's fine. Yeah, I'm the littlest lady of podcasting.

Should I move this slightly closer? Yeah, I think it's a little bit too far. Okay, cool. I mean, you sound great. Thank you. But I think you could sound greater. There you's a little bit too far. Okay, cool. I mean, you sound great. Thank you. But I think you could sound greater alright.

There you go. Alright. Look at you, dog. Good stuff. Hey, James. What's up? What's the weirdest

thing you saw on New Year's, bearing in mind this is just a pretense for me to tell you what's the weirdest thing I saw on New Year's bearing in mind this is just a pretense for me to tell you what's the weirdest thing I saw on New Year's but go ahead tell me I'm listening story not a barbecues and beers it was great

that was it but I had a great time that's my ideal New Year's keep it low key yeah great keep it on the down low that's very good do you have something to say or do you want to just move on with the show let's move on with the show no I'm just kidding here's the best thing I saw on New Year's it was fairly uneventful but I was driving along. It was like 7.30 p.m.

Love it. It was still daylight, right? And it was like 40 degrees Celsius, which is like 104. So it's hot. It's a hot night. You know your bloody Celsius to Fahrenheit. It's hot in the city. It is.

Just like the song. Just like the song. And I was driving along and there was like a pub and there was like people out and like milling outside the pub having a good old laid back pub time. Right. And there was a bus stop. Okay. And there were people there in front of it just, just waiting for the bus.

Right. And at the end of the line of people waiting for a bus, there was a guy dressed head to toe in like dirty, like off white Hessian sack. Like, you know, like, like the town idiots or something. No, like, but like, like head to head to toe, like boots and like pants. So it was like he'd made it, like fashioned it. Yeah, and like torso and arms and gloves, but like that dirty Hessian cut and like tied together with bits of rope,

like all the bits together. And he had like the Hessian sack mask on. So he had no idea how old he was? Yeah, or she. Or she. But like with the eye holes cut in it. Women can be weirdos too. Thank you.

And like the noose, like he tied that on with like the noose rope. Oh, God. Right? And then in each hand he had a length of chain, which was long enough to reach the ground, like both of them. And at the end of each piece of chain, there was like a flaming torch. Like he'd wrapped some more hessian on there and like dipped it in kerosene

so it was actually on fire yeah the two like flaming chains and he was just sort of casually whipping them about waiting for the bus just whipping about and I'm like and I'm stopped at a set of lights

and I'm like I have to get a photo of this and then they turn green and somebody honked me instantly and I'm like oh here we go and then I came back like I had to drive back

like 15 minutes later and he was gone so it's left me with many questions absolutely first of all does anybody know what that's supposed to be because initially i'm like oh that guy's dressed as a scarecrow because it's like the hessian sack sure yeah whatever but then i'm like the scarecrow doesn't wield flaming chains no or does but then i'm like is he a silent hill villain oh that does sound very silent so it Silent Hill, yeah. So it might be that. But why New Year's? Yeah. And why just there? Like, there was nobody else.

Yeah. Was he a ghost? Oh, good question. I mean, it was the middle of the day. Ghosts don't come out of the middle of the day. Yeah, but I'm like, there's nothing happening. There's not like some sort of horror theme thing happening at the pub. Because it was just people spilling out on the street.

And why would you light up your flaming torches to get on the bus? That seems like they wouldn't let you on the bus. Yeah. I'm no bus driver. So here's the question, right? Did he get the bus? Did he pass out from heat stroke? Did he get arrested for being a masked man wielding flaming weapons on a street?

Or did he set himself on fire? Because he was wearing a Hessian sack. That's a really good point. Anyway, email it if you have theories. Did you see... If you have any fan theories, if you're immediately a fan of this guy like I am. If you've seen that guy at Wikipedia Brown,

any answers would be appreciated. Please. Well, that's my news. Look, we have no guests on the show, but I want that guy on the show. Yeah, let's... Yeah. Actually.

This man cave's very flammable. That's true. I mean, it is a regular room. All right. Hey, I know we normally do letters in our famous segment, Letters, later on in the episode. But I thought this is my favorite piece of correspondence from the week, so I thought I'd mention it up top.

I texted it to you earlier in the week. You did? You're going to enjoy this one. So basically, you know, James, you know how we love to have fun. We love to have fun on this podcast. Yeah, sure. We love to have fun, all right? Yeah, I guess.

Do we or not? We do. Great. Okay, we do. So anyway, you know, from time to time, we will pretend. We'll make a little joke that we're being paid off by Marvel Studios. Oh, yeah. Which is the only obvious reason why we would give Marvel movies positive reviews and DC movies maybe less than positive reviews.

Sure. Right. Well, this week we got a tweet. I won't say the name, but it says, at Mr. Sunny Movies, at Wikipedia Brown. That's us on Twitter. Yep. The problem is now you're both taking money from Marvel.

That means you can't remain impartial. Now our listeners, they get it. We're making a little joke. We get it. But I see this tweet and I'm like, oh, maybe it's a young fella. They don't get that the old folks, us, we can make a little joke from time to time. We can be a bit silly. So I click through and I'm like, oh, maybe I should be like, oh, no, we're just kidding about that.

So I click through and they've got 200 tweets. And they all, except for that one, they all have something. The next tweet says, to at somebody, it says, JW, just wondering, if you could shrink your worst enemy to just a few inches in height and you could do anything to them, what would you do? And the next tweet, it says, it's to at somebody, and it says, JW, just wondering, if you could shrink your worst enemy

to just a few inches in height and you could do anything to them, what would you do? And the next tweet is to at somebody, and it says, JW, just wondering. Anyway, there's 200 of those. Just the same. Well, there's some slight variations because some people are like, what? And they're like, you know, I was just wondering.

But anyway, two things. Thank you for tweeting at us. Three things. Thank you for tweeting at us. Two, it feels good that we were the people to finally break the streak. Sure. And get them out. But also,

why not ask us? Exactly. We'd have great, we'd have great opinions on who, what we'd do with our shrinky enemies. And make. Shrenemies. Shrenemies.

Exactly. We'd make them live in a little dollhouse probably. Oh, that's, I don't know what that is. I don't know what to make of that. I know, right?

Bless. There's a lot of subtext. I think so. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, what else is going on um i saw the jungle book this week great what do you think it's good okay people like is it good enough to do a whole episode on nah probably not okay then you know i'd like to do i'd like to do

a disney episode though where we just talk about disney films that we like we can sing all the themes i can show you the world second verse can't remember um it's it's it's interesting i spent too much of this movie though going like it's all well made and put together it's amazing because it's all shot in a studio okay but i'm i spent a lot of time going in city yes but it's more realistic but going that's a pretty good looking tiger how much of that is a set that bear looks pretty good when he's in water

how much of that bear's real because that's where my mind kind of went the whole hang on a sec my dog's barking outside do you mean your feet are tired hey dog this is like

this is the slowest old man you've ever seen walking past. And my dog's just going... Oh, do you think I can stand up and still check him out? Yeah, he's still there. He'll be there for a few weeks. Oh, man. Listen to that guy's walking so slow. Hey, come here.

Can you come here? Hey, dog. Hey, dog. Man, that guy is... I want to know what his deal is. He's still there! I didn't want to tell you this, but that guy actually... I want to know what his deal is. He's still there! I didn't want to tell you this, but that guy actually started walking down your street

when we did the first episode of the show, and he's nearly made it to the end of your street. So, pretty good, right? Hey, hey, come here. You're freaking out. Come up here. There you go. Dog casts.

Yeah. This isn't going to work. I can't reach the mic when you're sitting on my lap god damn you get i know you're right there you go okay so yeah basically it's yeah it's pretty good friend of mine saw it yes she was like hated it hated everything about it why is that though because it was it didn't feel real even though even though she didn't she knew that it wasn't it's talking animals no no not even that but like the setting like it felt she said it just didn't like and the kind of butchered some

of the songs because it does okay does a couple of the songs and yeah you know so no i can show you the world the dogs love a life but yeah right but uh yeah i don't know i think people should definitely check it out i didn't hate it but i definitely preferred the adaption of cinderella more okay or adaptation it's adaption or adaptation uh adaptation thank you great moving on yeah okay i got some things that have stalled or cancelled this is called hot topics quick quick news new segment it's called hot topics quick news new segments here we go. Somebody write that down because we'll forget it by next week. Quick sticks.

Dean Devlin. You may know him. Are we going to use it? Can you put in a whip crack sound between all the bits of news? No. Look, I'll think about it, but I probably won't. Okay, cool. Because when I go back to edit this, and by that I mean listen to make sure it recorded,

I'll need to then go and I'll hear this and then I'll go, and I'll have to go and download the sound of a whip cracking noise. That's true. And then put it in. Look, knowing me, I won't. Okay, I'll add some whip crack noises. Okay, good. Let me point when the bit of news has ended.

Yep. Like when we're finished talking about it, I'll add the whip crack noise. Love it. It's weird that you brought that whip with you today. What a coincidence. Look, it's nearly summertime. It's time for whip crack demonstrations of weird ute musters. You go to a truck convention and you chop a block of wood.

Unless you've one chop in the block of wood. You shear a sheep. You shear a sheep and then you do some double whip cracking. Is that only an Australian thing? No, surely not. I hope not. We didn't invent the whip crack. I love a whip.

We perfected it. Yeah, that's certainly true. Anyway, hot topic, hot news, whatever this is called. Dean Devlin says that he's the producer on Independence Day and a bunch of other stuff. He says the Stargate reboot remake isn't happening. Presumably because Independence Day Resurgence wasn't very good and people hated it. And they couldn't get Richard Dean Anderson or the other guy, James Spader.

Kurt Russell. Kurt Russell. They couldn't get anybody back, either movie or TV-wise, and people are sick of Stargate. Apparently so. Well, the series has a lot of big fans. I like SG-1. Yeah, yeah.

But this is – they didn't say why, but this is definitely because of Independence Day. I think if1. Yeah, yeah. But this is, they didn't say why, but this is definitely because of Independence Day. I think if Independence Day resurgence had have done well, we would have got Stargate and bloody Armageddon. Armageddon and Fastgate.

Yeah. Cleopatra 2525. Dark Angel. Yeah. They all would have come back. Wait, how many more can we name? How many more terrible properties can we,

Sliders would have come back. Would have brought back Sliders. Earth 2. Earth 2 would have come back. Wait, how many more can we name? How many more terrible properties can we... Sliders would have come back. Right. Would have brought back Sliders. Earth 2. Earth 2 would have come back. Oh, no. Oh, what a... Yeah.

What a time, eh? Magical. High concept, low budget, 90s sci-fi. They would have done a TV version of Leonard Nimoy's Primortals, which is about the intelligent dinosaur man. Dinosaur man, yeah. Good stuff. Anyway, great.

I'm kind of happy. Give it a rest. Maybe bring it back as a TV show again at some point. Mark Ruffalo has rapped on Thor Ragnarok. He's only done a month. Rapped Will Smith style? Yes, he has. It's really great.

How do you think Mark Ruffalo would rap? I'm a guy and watch me turn green. Here I go again. Like that. Yeah, like that. You've nailed it. Do you think I could be a professional rapper? Yeah. Okay. I bought all the equipment in the hope that I will be a professional rapper. Oh, that's what all this is for. That's what it's for. You're just biding your time

with a podcast and your little YouTube thing. Oh, wouldn't that be amazing? How many subscribers are you up to on YouTube? Just crossed 600,000. Okay, imagine if you got to a million and then all of a sudden all your things you've missed and all your, here's a trailer breakdown and whatever, they all just disappear and it's just you in a dark room, like no lighting and you've got a bandana on and a backwards

baseball cap and you're rapping. Just freestyling. Just freestyling. Off the cuff, off the cuff, into the mic. Yeah. That's how I do it. Wasn't the idea, if Sam Raimi was going to do a Spider-Man 4, wasn't the idea that Bruce Campbell was going to play Mysterio as like a fat washed up Mysterio?

Right, yeah. I think you're right. So he does kind of work in a ridiculous way. Maybe that's the idea. Yeah, absolutely. So he does kind of work in a ridiculous way. Maybe that's the idea. Yeah, absolutely.

And then I think retrospectively, all the characters Bruce Campbell played in the Spider-Man trilogy were Mysterio. Mysterio the whole time. Well, that was a fan theory, I believe. Because I think each time he has a significant impact in Spider-Man's life. In the first one, he names him. In the second one, what is he in the second one?

He's a snooty waiter in the third one. In the second one, he's a snooty waiter yeah in the second one he's a snooty guy at the front desk of the opera i think or the theater or something oh that's right yep yep yep okay yeah pivotal moment in spider-man's life that's right can't go in the theater well that's because they because he had to see the play okay and then he couldn't see the play he could have just looked up the play on Wikipedia and been like, Hey, Mary Jane, I love the bit where you're saying the song. If you were Spider-Man and someone was like,

You can't go into the play, would you just throw him aside? Yeah, you probably could, couldn't you? And then I'd fight everybody in the theatre. Literally everyone, just piles of bodies in that theatre. I'd just tear that theatre down. I'd find the main retaining wall, I'd just kick through it and just collapse that theatre on everyone. And I'd be like,

I'm Spider-Man! I can go to any play I want! Fight me! I'll fight everyone in this city! How many people do you think Spider-Man could fight in New York City before they brought him down? Regular people?

Yes. Oh, hundreds. Yeah, right. Exactly. They'd have to be throwing bricks and stuff. Maybe even thousands. Potentially. I'm thinking of Yeah, right. Exactly. They'd have to be throwing bricks and stuff. Maybe even thousands. Potentially. I'm thinking of a World War Z situation.

Just piles of bodies. Like, they'd have to overwhelm him in sheer numbers. Yeah, exactly. But he's got the spider sense. That's right, yeah. Well, they nearly stopped the Green Goblin by believing in New York, by throwing pipes at him or whatever. Because even if they're throwing bricks, he's dodging those bricks.

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, not... He couldn't... If everybody threw a brick at once, he couldn't dodge all those bricks. But a brick wouldn't kill him either. Correct. Yeah.

Man, I would love to see that. Right? And not zombies. You're talking just people. Just regular people in New York. They're sick to death of Spider-Man and his theatre-smashing ways. The Last of Us... Wait. Ohhing ways. The Last of Us.

Wait. Oh, sorry. Quick news. Quick. Quick sticks. Getting into the news. Hot news. Quick time.

All right. The Last of Us has stalled, apparently, the movie version. Sam Raimi was producing it and he says it's kind of not really happening at the moment. Not that it's cancelled. Because Logan snuck in first. Well, it seems that way, yes. Stole all the ideas. Yeah, yeah.

And also, Last of Us, does it need to be a movie? No. It's one of those things where it's, have you played it? Yeah. I mean, not all of it. You should. It's bloody magnificent, mate. Did you ever, you know, have a PS3 or PS4?

I have both copies because it came with my PS4. Can I just get both copies and rub them together? Yeah, sure. In some sort of... I'll tell you what, I'll go into my backyard and I'll see if I can create fire with them and that will... Yeah, that's about as good as it is. Yeah, sure.

Fantastic Beasts. Where are they? How do you find them? Have you seen them? They're in the case. Just don't open the case. Solved. Solved it.

Did you see the new trailer? I did see the new trailer. What did you think? I think I'm going to get very sick of Eddie Redmayne going like, he reminds me of the guy from Mouse Hunt. What's his name again? John Cleese. No.

No. I haven't seen Mouse Hunt. I'll look it up. I'll look it up too. Okay, cool. But he's all, what have I done? He's a bit foppish for you.

Yeah. Although, look, it does look, there's a lot of magic just being hurled about. I thought that last trailer looked really good. Uh-huh. Oh, Lee Evans. Lee Evans, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

A British stand-up comedian, Lee Evans. The guy from Something About Mary. Yes. Who's pretending to be on the crutches. Yeah. Well, his range is incredibly subtle, like award-winning work, and then screaming idiot in Jupiter Ascending. I haven't seen it, but apparently it's like an insane performance.

Okay, sure. But this is the first trailer where I went, okay, this looks okay. Sure, yeah. Every other trailer, just like, I don't know, not good. That being said, the director directed the last like 15 Harry Potter movies, or the last four or something, all of which I enjoyed. So I'm sure it'll be good on some level. It does look like interestingly chaotic.

Like there's a lot of stuff going on. And it's a, you know, I mean, it's the past, but it's, I feel magic works better when it's interacting with the real world kind of stuff. And it's a, you know, I mean, it's the past, but it's, I feel magic works better when it's interacting with the real world kind of thing. And a lot of Harry Potter, it was just, here's magic happening in a surreal magic world. This book leads into a painting, which has a portal to a dimension with a wizard in a cauldron. That sounds really good.

Watch out for the snakes. Wow. You know what I did like about this trailer though? What's that? It hinted at, there was a great wizarding war in the 40s, which paralleled World War II, where there was like Hitler for wizards. Sure. Grindelwald, I want to say.

Whistler. Whistler. And he was friends with Dumbledore. They were actually together. Hitard. Hitard, yes. They were partners. Okay.

Because Dumbledore was a gay man. Is this your fan fiction? Yes. And then it turned out to be true. No, J.K. Rowling came out and said, no, Dumbledore is gay. You heard that. No, I'm aware of that. I didn't know it was Dayton Wizard Hitler, though.

Didn't see the signs. Bunch of mustache rides for old Dumbledore, am I right? Am I right? They had a bunch of mustache rides for old dumbledore am i right am i right they had a relationship okay this is more of the book before he was hitler before he was hitler they hang on which books though uh like the later ones because you do a lot of flashback stuff but i thought we didn't know dumbledore was gay until after we don't they're just good friends it said that they're good friends they have a lot of correspondence they have a lot of similar ideas about what magic is and how it relates to humans and how wizards are this and that more powerful and dumbledore went in the direction of oh no we

should be nicer to regular people and this guy went the other way and then he went and became wizard hitler and dumbledore stopped him so that's what dumbledore is famous for right because he stopped this guy and then he ended up in prison as Caban. And then you see Voldemort kill him at the start of, or at the end of seven or eight. I can't remember. Sure. Okay.

So, and he's kind of remorseful at the end and like. For being wizard Hitler. For being wizard Hitler. Huh. Now, so. My point is, I want to say, it sounds like they're moving into those yeah okay that sounds okay that actually sounds interesting did the war take place within world war two yes so like

but like the same battlegrounds no okay but it happened at the same time okay i think they're because because in the same way in the harry potter universe the the prime minister is familiar with wizards because when you become Prime Minister of England... They tell you about the wizards. They tell you about the wizards. Like, he shows up, do your fireplace and tells you. So it might have been the same thing where Hitler had an alliance with Wizard Hitler.

Yeah. Now, Mr. Prime Minister, we've got two boards set up. This is the Western Front. You'll notice Hitler. And over here, you see the Wizarding World and there's gay Wizard Hitler. It's weird that Hitler would like gay Wizard Hitler. Maybe he didn't know he was gay because I don't think he would have liked him otherwise. No, that's right.

Mad. What a world though. The point is, I don't care so much about Fantastic Beasts, but the idea of seeing Wizard Hitler World War II for wizards like in the next couple of movies with like young Dumbledore. I don't generally like prequels, but that sounds amazing to me. Now, would J.K. Rowling write these?

Yeah, she is writing them. She is writing them. Okay, right. Yeah. Cool, man. So I think that's super cool, Mason. Yeah, all right. Yep, good.

Hot news. So hot. Ow. Hot quick news. It's not that quick, really, is it? The Crow has moved production studios, which leaves the future of the franchise in jeopardy. Is the director and Jason Momoa still attached?

Are they not? Who knows? Just make it or don't. Just stop. Stop with this. But you know what? If Jason Momoa was not the crow, that means potentially anyone out there,

they could be the crow. Yes. Yes, could be us. We're all back in. Everybody's back in, folks. Anybody could be the crow. Just like in the future, everybody's going to be famous for 15 minutes.

Correct. In the future, everybody's going to get a crack at being the crow. And I say, Yes, vengeance. Yes, I have vengeance on my enemies uh so 80 million dollars has been put towards a joint effort of chinese and u.s production companies uh that will bring a test a tetris film to the big screen described as an epic sci-fi waste of money thriller sorry epic waste of money epic sci-fi thriller

yeah what are they thinking they have to build a wall around the city and then a monster runs into it but they've got to build it quickly

and maybe they don't have the long bit until the end yeah the long bit never arrives when you want it to arrive does it yeah

almost like it knows that's right what do you what do you do with this actually you know what don't tell me because we shouldn't give them any ideas no ideas they dug their own grave that's what they're doing they're just listening to podcasts they're watching videos watching the youtube trying to find out an idea for this give them nothing people give them nothing you're absolutely right

dug their own grave this is i mean people Battleship, but this is like... Pixels? After Pixels. I think Pixels did Tetris, didn't they? I haven't seen it. Yeah, they did Space Invaders. The Millipede one? What's it called?

Centipede? Yeah, no, Millipede. I think there was a Millipede. I'm sure there was. Yeah. Do you know there was a Mrs. Pac-Man? Mrs. Pac-Man. It was Ms. Pac-Man.

They're not married? Living in sin. It's unapproved wow maybe that's the plot maybe so look i think mrs pac-man was just like okay we need a sequel to pac-man like legitimately they're like yeah should we make more maps or whatever and then like no i just put a put a bow on it yeah and then we can just put the bow down underneath. Pac-Lady? No, Ms. Pac-Man. Ms. Pac-Man.

Yeah, you can make that a bow tie as well and call it like, I don't know. Fancy Pac-Man. All right, good stuff. Let's talk about other properties that aren't interesting to us. Okay, good. Dr. Jekyll in the Tom Cruise's The Mummy reboot will be played by Russell Crowe. Now, I know he can do one side of that personality. Let's see if his acting's good enough to do the other.

Dr. Jekyll. Yes. So, yeah, they're pushing hard for this, aren't they? Yeah, okay. You've got your Tom Cruise and Russell Crowe on the wall. Do you think Russell Crowe would sign on to this because like yes i do i mean he would sign on to this but i mean do you think he'd sign on if it's the kind of mr hyde that is like larger and is like a cgi kind of monster character no exactly yeah do you think he'll want in do you think he'd sign on if there's

any kind of physical change at all i think maybe they part his hair differently and even then you'd have to kind of pin him down yeah get some of his rugby mates to pin him down right exactly yeah yeah no maybe some mutton chops no but it's it's modern day right so maybe it's going to be like g called the show oh the worst no but i mean like i know what you mean yeah is he yeah is he gonna is he gonna physically transform even a little bit or is it just going to be like glint in his eye or something like that? What do you think? Do you think this is just another...

Do you think they're like, okay, Russell Crowe, this is going to be another chance to show the power of acting from you, Russell Crowe, the greatest actor in the world? It could possibly be. I think that's going to be it. I think he's going to do... I think they're going to go with this character. You're going to look exactly the same. You're going to look exactly the same.

You're going to have to differentiate these characters through the power of acting. Absolutely. And I think he's going to be like, yes. That's very similar to what they were going to do with that Robin Hood reboot. Yes. In a sense, originally he was going to play

the Sheriff of Nottingham and Robin Hood. Right. And I don't know whether they were the same character or he was just going to wear a series of different triangular-shaped hats. I don't know. I wasn't going to do this, but I'm going to read you the synopsis of The Mummy.

Okay. Reboot. Okay. The verse. Good. Let's see what you think of it. Okay. Thoughts safely entombed in a crypt

deep beneath the unforgiving desert, an ancient queen, Sophie Batola, for the Kingsman Secret Service in Star Trek Beyond, whose destiny was unjustly taken from her, is awakened in our current day, bringing with her malevolence, grown over a millennia,

and terror. Malevolence. Yeah, that turns out that's a word that I can't say. Okay, that's right. Some words you just, you read them a lot and you never say them out loud. You never say them out loud. Malevolence.

And terrors that defy human comprehension. From the sweeping sands of the East through hidden labyrinths under modern day London, the mummy brings a surprising intensity and balance of wonder and thrills in an imaginative new take that ushers in the new world

of gods and monsters. And then in all caps, also it's a lady mummy. Progress. What do you think of all that? Fine. Yep. Yeah. Pretty good. We've known it's going to be a lady mummy for a while. We have, yeah. Yeah, okay, cool. progress what do you think of all that fine yep yeah pretty good

we've known it's going to be a lady mummy for a while we have yeah yeah okay cool it seems very involved for just to set up it's like there's this ancient woman and now she's back

and it's also the modern day gods monsters Russell Crowe she's a lady she's a lady mummy oh whoa she's a lady but there's also no mention of like

Tom Cruise and what he's doing in it so he's whoa, whoa. She's a lady. But there's also no mention of Tom Cruise and what he's doing in it. So he's going to be... Will he be a legendary monster hunter of some kind? I wonder if he's going to... Isn't he Van Helsing? Might be a Van Helsing. I don't know.

Yeah. Who knows? Let's not talk about this. Let's talk... And that's the thing. Is it going to be Van Helsing? They're trying to build... Is this another one where they're trying to build

like a Justice League or Avengers? Yes, that's exactly what this is. Right. So is it going to be Van Helsing who's going to be on the team or is it going to be the mummy who's on the team? Van Helsing. So the mummy's not going to be on the team. The mummy's coming back to...

Weren't you listening to that sign? No, I understand that, but I mean like... Why are there monsters on the team? Why are there monsters on the team and regulars on the team? You know what I mean? I don't know. There are no rules anymore. Bloody Dr. Jekyll can't be on the team with Ben Helsing.

Maybe half of him's on the team. I mean, they can, but then it's just League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. You know how well that turned out. Really well. Not well. Oh, yeah. Bad, bad well. Had that car, even though it was like 1892 or whatever.

Do you have anything else to yell about in terms of this franchise? That we'll probably get two in and then they'll reboot it yeah it's not it's not gonna get anywhere good stuff now mason yes are you familiar with the actor actor sasha baron cohen yes oh he's going to be playing mandrake the magician everybody brace yourselves turn your volume down slightly. But for what? Mandrake the Magician, member of the superhero team, the defenders of the earth. I don't know what you're talking about, mate.

Listen, I'm not actually going to put it up. You son of a bitch. I only just realized this because I never listen back to this show because I'm on the show and why would I listen to it? But any time James... Okay, I'm going gonna do it backwards because he's gonna trick you or he won't trick you james has a a thing where he puts in an incredibly loud theme music drop like an earphone like a headphone eardrum breaking like audio drop of the theme song anytime either of us mentions the cartoon series defenders of the earth i don't know what you're talking about didn't put it in maybe he did put it in who's to say but i hope that i've given

everybody enough warning now that i know that happens so you didn't know i did that no i guess but then occasionally i get a tweet that just occasionally i get a tweet from somebody and just goes oh my ears and i'm like what are they talking? It's just a picture of a bloody year. Yeah. Yeah. Star Wars Episode VIII. Pushed back. It's been pushed back to December. So that's like six, seven months. Yeah.

What are your thoughts? I think they haven't decided who Rey's parents are yet. Oh, you think that? I think it's a month-long debate. I think they've just gotten a big whiteboard. You know, it's one of those smart whiteboards. Oh, yeah, I know. And like they're Skyping in from all around the world and George Lucas can't quite get his working,

so they're all just waiting for him and, like, everybody gets a say in it and nobody... Like, it's just going to go forever. Absolutely, yeah. Well, apparently a big part of it is script rewrites, which isn't a bad thing necessarily. No. It just happens all the time.

But to include a lot more of the new characters. Sure. The real reason, I think, or one of the major reasons is they shattered all sorts of box office records in December. You get a bit of a clear run in December. That's true. Well, you used to, but I think this is going to be like the new season for big movies. I don't understand why this hasn't started happening like 10 years ago.

It's weird, isn't it? Because as soon as those Lord of the Rings movies come out. It's the hot dog vendor on the beach theory of economics. You know what I'm talking about? What's that? What's that? Where like, you think you don't want a hot dog, but then you do economics or something. Look, I did a lot of things.

But it's no, because like you get, there's a hot dog vendor on the beach, right? What's his name? Giuseppe. Philip. No, it's Giuseppe. Okay. I wouldn't buy from a Giuseppe. That's all.

Wow. It's just my racial prejudice. Clearly. Anyway, he's Giuseppe. Okay. I wouldn't buy from a Giuseppe. That's all I'm saying. Wow. It's just my racial prejudice. Clearly. Anyway, he's in the middle of the beach, right? Because you said, oh, wait, it's ice cream. Now I remember. What are you talking about hot dogs on the beach?

Didn't you do economics? Yeah, I did. All right. I was distracted by the hot dogs that they served. Anyway, go on. In the bloody forecourt. Anyway, ice cream vendor, right? He'd park right in the middle of the beach, right? Yeah.

Imagine the beach is a line. Yeah. There, and he's in the middle, right? Gotcha. Now, if another bloody ice cream vendor shows up. Yeah. They bloody... Philip.

Yeah, Philip. My preferred ice cream vendor. All right, in a world without incredible racial prejudice on a beach, so not Australia, certainly, right? They both end up, like, they both end up like back to back, right? Because if one is like at one end, right, all the lazy people would just move to bloody Giuseppe because he's in the middle, right?

Gotcha, yep. So inevitably they just move. He's got that sweet gelato probably. That's what I'm talking about. We'll edit this out. Anyway, we won't. No. But anyway, they just end up in the middle.

What I'm saying is if there's a gap in the market, which is December, the beach, then the ice cream vendors, the Star Wars franchise, would inevitably move to fill that is what I'm saying. I get you. And ice cream is also what you said. We're going to get ice cream. That's right. Okay.

I understand that. In TV news, Mason, let's skip over to the world of TV. So ABC have also acquired the rights to the Marvel's Inhumans. That's right. And they're doing an Inhumans TV series, which means we're not getting the Inhumans movie, which means Vin Diesel is probably not going to be Black Bolt, which means it's probably not going to be very good.

Not because of the Vin Diesel thing. No, no, because of the Vin Diesel thing. I just think it will be kind of, I'm okay with Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. I don't anything yet. I think that's probably what this will be because there's only so much you can do with kind of primetime network weird superhero stuff. True.

Yeah, but maybe they'll surprise me. The reason I think this happened is because Ike Perlmutter, who was in charge of all things Marvel, it was his dream to get the Inhumans movie to the big screen. Notoriously bad bloke. Yes, because they don't have the X-Men and he wanted to bury the X-Men. Okay. Not because he has some sort of deep childhood love for the Inhumans.

It's just because he's like, we need another franchise. All right. So they've really kind of been pushing it in the comics. And even on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., we've seen them. And in the comics, all the famous X-Men are dead. Yes, that's right. Or missing. Or old or whatever.

Yeah. So I think now he got cut out of the filmmaking process because Kevin Feige went straight to the head of Disney. We've talked about this before. This is all allegedly. But it probably happened. Allegedly. But it definitely happened. This is all allegedly, but it probably happened, allegedly, but it definitely happened. James is using air quotes, so many air quotes.

Is this right? Am I doing it right? Yeah. You do one, then the other. Oh, no, I don't know about that. Oh, no, that's deeply unpleasant in a way I can't explain. He's doing one hand and then the other hand. No.

Because I'm catching it on the other end when it ends. Oh. You okay with it now? All right, yeah, okay. Okay, good. Now that you've explained your process, I think I'm okay with it. the other end when it ends. Oh. You okay with it now? All right, yeah, okay. Okay, good. Now that you've explained your process, I think I'm okay with it. Maybe that's a new thing. Guys, if you're going to be air-quoting, I did it. That's weird to look at.

Yeah, right? See? Guys, if you're going to air-quote something this week, do it the new way and see if people love it or hate it. It doesn't matter which hand you start with, but you do one at the start of the sentence and one at the end of the sentence. And then explain why it works. Yep.

Oh, that's unpleasant. It's unpleasant to look at, but it's kind of fun to do. Anyway, so he got cut out of the filmmaking process because Feige went to the head of Disney. Allegedly. Allegedly. So he's only in charge of TV stuff

so I think he went fuck it well I'm still doing it I'm bringing it to TV so hang on how did that's my speculation I guess so so what happened

like how did the movie get cancelled it was who was responsible I don't think they wanted to do it oh I see he was pushing it yeah I think he was the only one pushing it yeah okay

and that's what I think I think there's probably something in the works from either Fantastic Four or some of the X-Men or something, and that's the reason why this is all happening. Yeah. I think they've got something else in the works that we don't know about. Maybe it's more Spider-Man stuff or whatever. I don't know.

But there's a reason they've kind of shunted this aside. You heard it here first, guys. It's either X-Men or Fantastic Four or more Spider-Man or something. If it's anything, we called it. You're wearing Ugg boots. You know I am. Have you worn Ugg boots every time you record this? I'm always wearing Ugg boots.

It's getting a bit cold this time of year, and my feet get cold in this regular room. So, you know. So Ugg boots was the obvious choice. Do you not have slippers? I have a roaring fire in front of me right now. I wish you didn't bring that. It's sucking all the oxygen out of the room.

There's no ventilation. We're in a lot of trouble. We certainly are. But at least I'm not cold in my footsies. That's right. Well, neither am I. We both have our methods, don't we? Yeah, we do.

Celery's great and it has so few calories. You can chew it all day, mate. You don't like celery? I don't like any. Look. Look. Lettuce. No. Celery. No. You don't like celery? I don't like any... Look. Look. Lettuce. No.

Celery. No. None of it. But you know there's so many lettuces. What about a crisp iceberg lettuce? None of it. It's just a weird wet mass. Have you ever got...

It's a bloody... A crisp lettuce leaf... Wrapped it in like a... It's like the... It's like they're stealing from you. But I haven't. The answer is I haven't. Whatever this is...

Spring roll. Crisp lettuce leaf. Sauce. Don't like spring rolls either. What are you even saying? Don't like spring rolls. Do you't. Whatever this is. Spring roll, crisp lettuce leaf, sauce. Don't like spring rolls either. What are you even saying? Don't like spring rolls. Do you like Dim Sims? No.

Me neither, actually. I'm on the same page. Yeah. What are they about? Get them out of here. What's going on? You know what I fucking hate? You know what I hate?

What's that? Coriander. Okay. Okay. Look, this is unrelated. Do you like coriander? We'll let it all miss out. No, we're not.

Okay, good. Do you like coriander? It's not entirely sure what it is No, we're not. Okay, good. Do you like coriander? I'm not entirely sure what it is. It's poison. Oh, then I don't like it. It tastes like bad soap. And soap's not good. You shouldn't eat soap.

And it's worse than soap. Coriander is that one where some people are genetically predisposed to it tasting like soap. Which is me. I have that. And a lot of people have that. That being said, a lot of people like it. That being said, a lot of time when you order a salad or something, you know, like a... Americans call it cilantro.

Is that true? Yeah. Great. But like, you'll get, you know, like a... This is, for a long time, listeners, James used to have vendettas against people in his life. And I think he's got a vendetta against coriander. I absolutely do.

But it's more so that when you order it and then it surprisingly comes out and it's just mixed through whatever it is, but it's not in the menu. Like say, I don't like avocado, right? But I'm okay with it. And if there's avocado in something, then I know it's there because they put it on the menu. But with coriander, enough people don't like it. Well, you should write it down. So I know it's coming and then know not to order that.

There should be little symbols, nut free, gluten free. This might taste like so. That's right. It's just not on. I understand. What are we talking about? I want to talk about Jared Leto's Joker though. Because there's been some revelations this week

about some of the acting he's done. Oh, some acting. To get, oh, sorry, some of the preparation for some of the acting. Is he posting dead rats to people again? Well, look, things went a little more severe than we initially thought. Because there was stories at first that he posted, like he gave Margot Robbie a live rat. Or his intern did, probably.

Or his intern did probably. Or his intern did probably. His assistant gave a dead live rat to Margot Robbie's assistant. One assumes. And then there was like a quick text back and forth like maybe Jared texted Margot like Did you get the rat? Did you get the rat? I'm sending you a live rat just so you know. Don't act surprised.

Tell your assistant it's going to be a rat uh the rat likes uh little little kibbles so send him some anyway it doesn't matter that's right he also sent like bullets to like will smith's character but also he was there was an interview with him this week and some other things came up like so they interviewed the whole cast because something happened this week i don't know some it was probably the MTV Movie Awards. Yeah, sure. What a fun night of fun.

Best kiss, best babe. Best butts. Best butts. MTV. Yeah. So apparently he didn't turn up for the race. Best bros. Romance.

It's chatting Tatum and Jonah Hill again. again sometimes seth wrote he's in there too bros yeah so apparently for the for the reading you know how they have the cast reading or they'll sit around and read the script or whatever that's probably a hollywood thing yeah uh he didn't turn up and they're like where's this jared lito He's very unprofessional. I thought he was an actor's actor. And then Jared Leto. Then it slowly dawned on them that he is the best actor and something was coming. A freight train of Joker-esque horror.

Here we go. So Jared Leto's assistant turned up and then dropped a pig. Ratto. Ratto, yeah, and dropped a pig. He's animal handler. Yeah. And dropped a pig carcass in the middle of the table

and was like this is from the Joker Jared Leto's doing the thing Heath Ledger did but way more acting that's what it said on the pig carcass oh good yeah

but it went beyond that he admitted in an interview that he sent them a whole lot of weird stuff he sent them each anal beads now Jared Leto knows that the Joker

isn't some sort of deranged mailman, right? Because it seems like he's doing a lot of... Posting of things. He's taking very good advantage of the United States Postal Service. Certainly. Or abusing one very upset and tired personal assistant. Yeah.

If you go to stamps.com slash ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, you never have to go to the post office again. That's very true. So he sent them also anal beads. Okay. He sent them used condoms. All right. He sent them, the guy who plays Killer Crack.

I reckon he just sent them open condoms. I don't know what to tell you, mate. This is what he said. There's an interview. That's one, if they're used condoms, that is one annoyed and tired assistant. Yes, that's true. Let me tell you.

And who used them? Another one. Who used them? Yeah. Either way, the assistant is not happy. Because if he's delivering them to everybody, is he storing them up over a series of days? Is he putting them in?

Yeah. Is he putting them in a little cooler? I don't know. We call them eskies over here. That's right. Maybe they're just in the sun or in a window ledge. I don't know. We call them Eskies over here. That's right. Maybe they're just in the sun or in a window ledge. I don't know. Gross.

Yeah. But he also sent the dude who plays Killer Croc, I can't remember his name, like sticky Playboy magazines. Are any of these things Joker-esque to you? In fact, the Joker's almost exclusively not about that sort of stuff. Yeah, I mean, there's like the implication that he... Wouldn't you send Killer Croc like some crocodile skin shoes or something? Yeah.

Like a bloody skinny mate. Or a crocodile. Yeah. Just a crocodile. Or some crocodile skin shoes filled with semen, apparently. Or the Crocodile Dundee goes to Los Angeles DVD. Oh, the... Filled with semen.

Filled with semen. The unkindest cut of all. So, is this a guy who's trying super hard to out Heath Ledger, Heath Ledger? Is this some, what is this? Yeah, I think it is. If I'm, yeah. Yeah. Look, I think people are happy with this new spin on it.

Yeah, I think so. And also, I'd not heard about any of these things, so I don't know who he's doing them for. Well, the PR, I presume. Yeah. Does he have his own own because there'd be pr for suicide squad do you think he has his own pr guy specifically for thinking up weird things to send in the mail yes i think there is discussion yeah i think there's definitely some uh yeah some back and forth uh-huh like what else can we put semen on? Birthday cake?

Whose birthday is it in the cast? Now, look, you've said this before. Look, we're not actors. Correct. But what happened to you just turn up and you remember the things you say and then you say them to the person you're sitting with in the scene? Why do you have to, like, bother people? And not only the other actors that like but people around you like there's people like grips best boys cinematographers like they have to deal with craft services they have to

deal with this shit as well yeah yeah just like the whims of a lunatic the bloody the caterer not the cleaning staff at the bloody meeting he used to he didn't bring the cleaner brought like a vacuum and he brought like some windex or something like that he didn't bring... The cleaner brought a vacuum and he brought some Windex or something like that. He didn't bring the materials necessary to clean the blood off a desk. Right? Pig's blood off a desk. He didn't bring it.

He's got to go back. Maybe it's in the van. Maybe it's not in the van. Maybe he has to go back to his bloody workshop and get some pig's blood cleaner. It's probably soaked right into that wood desk. Yeah. Might have to even sand it back and just re-varnish it. Yeah. and get some exactly it's probably soaked right into that wood desk yeah might have to even

sand it back and just re-varnish it yeah some of the blood probably got on people's scripts they're gonna print

them again exactly oh h&s nightmare and also bloody we're aiming for a paperless office you know god

he's a troublemaker he is look it looks good if he's the good joker yeah whatever whatever gets you there mate there's also a new rogue one trailer let's not really spoil anything from it because it's

the fifth or something like that too many trailers i agree and this one kind of without again without going into it too much and i if you you were saying i i said oh this is going to be the last one you said i don't think it will i think there will be another one. There's the bit where we've seen it in numerous trailers where our Jyn Ersa is running down sort of a gantry and his TIE fighter comes up. God, I hope they don't ruin that. I think they will. I reckon in the last one, the hatch is going to open

and be like, it's me, Darth Vader. Thought you were going to get away, but no. No, no, no. He's going to waggle his finger accusatorily. Great. I would love. This is what they do. But you know what?

These trailers, they're not for me and you. Or he's going to be like, hop in because you're evil. We've revealed that you're evil through the course of the film. Get on board. We're going to go and shoot Luke Skywalker out of his trench rod. Get in, buddy. We're mates. Revealed. And yes, I. We're mates. Revealed.

And yes, I'm aware it's a different TIE fighter. Are you, Mason? He switches over later. For sure, yeah. For the better one. Or it gets like hammered. Oh, yeah, maybe. Gets caught in like a weird tube.

But yeah, no, this isn't for us. This is for people who haven't seen any of these. Do you know what I mean? I guess so, yeah. Yeah. So that's the way I feel. This is marketing ramping up. this isn't for us this is for people who haven't seen any of these do you know what i mean i guess so yeah so that that's the way i feel it the this is this is marketing ramping up it's less than a month away who hasn't seen one of these trailers at this point though i think there'd be a fair amount of people yeah and i've had messages from people going because i said there are people that still don't know what this is and i've had messages from people going yeah no i went to

the movies with a friend and they're like why is is Jin being recast? What is this kind of thing? Because they think it's Rey or whatever. And as you said, who cares? As long as you get it. I don't care. I don't care what you think. I don't care. Shush in the theatre.

But it is tracking for 130 million opening. Maybe what I should do is I should have, when I go into the cinema, like a whole bunch of flyers that say, this is a prequel on them. And then I hear the first person go, what's Darth Vader doing back? Why is Darth Vader still alive?

I just flick him in the air. I'm like, it's a prequel now. Shut up. Then people will be quiet. I don't know. Depends when you go. If you go early, that's't know It depends when you go If you go early That's all the nerves

If you go with If you go with Star Wars fans They're generally pretty good You know what They cheer too much And they laugh too much That's true But I'm okay with that

It's better than somebody going Who's what Hey what Like I prefer that So Someone having a fun time I'm okay with that Guardians of the Galaxy news

Oh Rumour has it As rumours go That there's going to be Three new members Of the Guardians of the Galaxy news. Oh. Rumour has it, as rumours go, that there's going to be three new members of the Guardians of the Galaxy team expanding the universe, even though these are characters that you know, except for the first one.

Mantis. Do you mean the... Like a bug woman? I thought you meant the 90s TV character. I wish. Played by, I want to say, Carl Lumley. Remember that guy? He was in a wheelchair,

but then he put on the Mantis suit. And then he had super powers? Yeah, he had super powers, yeah. Great. How good was the suit? I bet it wasn super powers? Yeah, he had super powers, yeah. Great. How good was the suit? I bet it wasn't very good. It was okay. It was okay.

In the pilot, he shot like darts out of his wrist and they had like poison stingers. Like a mantis. Yeah, exactly. Like a mantis always does. And they would paralyze people. But then in the additional, like in the full series, they were like electrical charges. Okay. Because I think people were like, is that drugs?

Is he killing people? Is he injecting people with drugs? Like what's... Yeah. Better to kill someone with a pacemaker. I think so, yeah. So Mantis,

Yondu, Michael Rooker, this is rumoured, and Nebula who's Karen Gillian. Karen Gillian, okay. This is a Gillian. I was hoping one of those

would be Howard the Duck but we take what we can get. That's, you know what? That's, I wouldn't put it past them, to be honest. Yeah. But there's better news. I mean, that's a good news. That's pretty good news.

Rumor has it, and this is very much a rumor at this point, there will be an appearance from Ego the Living Planet. Oh, my goodness. That's what I've always wanted. And we've always wanted Al Pacino to play Ego the Living Planet. Hoorah! Space! Very good.

That is pretty good. I didn't have the second word ready, so I went with space. I think that worked out. He would say space. He would say space and you'd be like, oh, that's very deep. It's very deep. So how good would that be? Giant planet with a face?

Do you think they'd give it a face? Or do you think it'd be like... Oh, just glowing. And it would tell them, like telepathy. I think, no, I think they, in the Guardians of the Galaxy... Give it a face. They would give it a face, I think, just as a goof. And I think it would be the face of Al Pacino.

Put that on a t-shirt. I'll wear that. Who asks, face? We should start a hashtag to get that going. Pacino fur. All right, we'll work on it. Yeah, we'll think about it towards the end. Hashtag Pacino the living planet.

Yes. We can make that happen. Tweet it to James Gunn. Yes. Okay. Please. So hashtag Pacino the living planet at James Gunn in it. Please.

And put us in it so we know that it's happening. So James Gunn can finally block us, which is what we've always wanted on Twitter, if I'm honest. Yeah, pretty great. I mean, if they're doing that, that's balls to the wall, and I respect that. Yeah, see, that's what I'm talking about with McGee and the Masters. He's not going to do that.

He's not going to bloody do any of... He has a coward's heart. He's not going to have the weird Eternia Navy where they're all mustachioed men in half shirts they're not gonna do that real episode so last week yeah there was some rumblings on the internet that for guardians of the galaxy 2 director james gunn was going to uh introduce the character ego the living planet yep and there was a who's a planet with a face planet with any any talks yep there's very very important things about space probably and there was an even smaller rum and even quieter

rumbling that maybe al pacino would play that role yes and so we asked all listeners to tweet at james gunn the hashtag pacino the Living Planet. Which they did. And boy, did people do that. Because we haven't done this for a couple of years. We did it with Ben McKenzie to get him to wear a mustache for Gotham. Didn't work. Didn't work. And he didn't respond. Correct.

But this time, I forget that people, this isn't just for us. People really listen to this. Yeah. It's crazy. We assume we record this and then we put it on the memory card and then we just sort of we just sort of fling it into a cupboard we assume that in 20 years the cupboard will just be full that's right exactly and great classic memories but um yeah so he actually responded yeah which was cool james gun james gun he doesn't have twitter we assume

probably not but yeah what did he say i should bring it up but he um he basically said that's a great feed to kind of wake up but he basically said that's a great feed to kind of wake up to yep unfortunately it's already cast and already written yep but also

you don't know how to spell Pacino I knew how to spell Pacino yeah but yeah so it was nice to get a response he was a good sport about it

he was and then most people stopped immediately which was good there was a few people during the week thank you for getting on board but please stop he's had a good he There was a few people during the week. Thank you for getting on board, but please stop.

Oh, man. He's had a good week of this. Bless him. We need to be careful with this. If we can, like, if this is a thing that we can... Oh, yeah, he actually hasn't blocked me, so that's good. I can still read his tweets. That's nice.

Good, good. Yeah, and, like, we need to be careful with this. Like, we need to pick our targets very carefully. I don't want to upset anybody. Like he's a good sport, but what if he wasn't? Do you know what I mean? So yeah, next time we attack someone we don't like, what do you think?

Like Dave Coulier or something. Oh sure, absolutely. Just one more bit of news. One more bit of news is all I can handle. Steppenwolf is rumoured to be the villain in the next justice league part one all right so for those not in the know is the uncle of dark side and leader are one of the like the military leaders of apocalypse is steppenwolf who it was supposed to be in that deleted i think so yeah when he's got those mother boxes he sort of looks like him

yeah because there were there was a few like theories about who that was. Yeah, okay. I don't know. But it was kind of hard to tell because, again, Kryptonian technology uses this weird pin art instead of an actual picture, which would have been nice. Yeah. That in itself I thought was a really intriguing scene. Yeah.

But like I've said before, there's a lot of stuff in Batman and Superman I like individually. Yeah. But together it doesn't quite mesh for me. Definitely. Some people love it and that's great. Yeah fine you're the best fine you love it that's cool you're wrong but it's fine it's cool but it's wrong but it's fine so apparently Darkseid is going to be a presence in the film and then he'll fully appear towards the end okay now I think this is probably a good idea to not just go Darkseid.

It just turns up at the start of the next movie. Oh, sure, yeah. So I think they're kind of like Batman, Superman tried a bit of everything at once and it didn't quite mesh. Right. For me. Okay. But if you thought it did, it's fine, but you're wrong, but it's cool,

but you're fine. We're going to have to do this forever, aren't we? Yes, we are. If you liked it but it's cool but you're fine. So I think we're going to have to do this forever aren't we? Yes we are. If you liked it it's fine if you thought it was the best movie ever

it's fine you're cool but you're wrong. So like they're kind of taking that Thanos approach I guess where just

kind of ease up a bit pump the brakes like nobody like Loki is obviously a very famous Marvel villain but he wasn't a well-known villain that's true

and he's kind of the precursor to Thanos and a bunch of other madness. So maybe this is kind of... I mean, obviously Steppenwolf and Loki are not the same. There is some elements about Darkseid that they're going to have to really step lightly with. Because again, maybe this is a good idea because what we seem to forget

is that Darkseid has like, he can generate these Omega beams who can kill anything. From anywhere. From anywhere, right? Like through time. Through time and dimensions around walls, which is the weirdest one of all. In the dark.

In the dark. Right? But he can just like, if you're in the same room with him, he shoots him out. It doesn't matter where you go. They just keep following you. Like, it takes a Superman kind of power level character to not die immediately. It will kill anyone below that.

That's right. So if he does show up at the start of the movie, it's going to take some fancy footwork. Some very fancy footwork. For him to not wipe out everybody else in the cast. Well, in the Justice League, well, the new one, you remember that new animated movie they made that kind of introduced them? Justice League War?

They take out his eyes? Or is that just in the comic that that's based on? The new 52 comic that's based on as well. I know Aquaman takes out one of them with his trident. I'd like to see that. Yeah, I guess, yeah. I mean, work fast, though. Definitely.

If he, yeah. Omega Babes. Get you in the dark, mate. Get you underwater, Aquaman. Yeah. Get right through us, salmon. You're trying to stop him with a shield of salmon. It won't work.

Forget it. Yeah. So how do you stop those? Do you know? What if you went into, like, the Phantom Zone? Oh. No, I don't know. I don't think you can.

Okay. I mean, I'm sure there's a fancy way to write around it. But I mean, if the writers of this- Does he have to keep looking for them to keep working? Or can he shoot them and then just go and have lunch? Yeah, he goes off and he has lunch. Okay, right. Great.

Cool. Anyway, great. Anything else? No, that'll do it. Yeah, no, I'm looking forward to seeing what- I guess maybe- No, because I think they just separate off. Right. Because otherwise you just have to beat him in a staring competition.

That's right. Or just throw sand in his eyes and he goes, uh, uh, and then you're out of the woods. That's right. No, I think he just fires them off. They fire and forget. Okay, good. Fire and forget. Yeah.

Well, that seems very, I don't know, what's the word? Maybe you can block them with a shield of fish. I don't know. No, you know what? I think maybe. If they hit someone else? Yeah, I think if they, what's the word? Maybe you can block them with a shield of fish. I don't know. No, you know what? I think maybe... If they hit someone else? Yeah, I think if they hit someone else, but you have to be fast enough.

And again, they can go around corners. That's true. So you've just got to grab... What I'm hoping for, if Snyder's doing this again, is that just he shoots him at Batman and Batman just grabs some innocent bystander or some very important B-list character. Jimmy Olsen's back.

Jimmy Olsen's back. He didn't really die. Guys, I'm back out of the hospital again. Human shield. Human shield annihilated. Though Batman was hit with them once and he was sent through time. Yeah, they can do that sometimes as well. Wow, that's a lot of variation there to work with.

Good luck bringing that to the big screen. Yep. That's the end of hot quick news. Ah, news was so hot. Ah, that was so hot and quick. I've got to go to the emergency room briefly. Edit point. Ah, so hot.

How was the emergency room? It was good. Great. I'm glad you're back. A little ice pack. Yeah. I just sat here for five hours, but I didn't drive you. I was going to say.

So, yeah, should we get straight to Star Trek then? Yes. Good. As I like to call it, Star Trek Beyond. Okay, that's enough. You were so ready for that. Yeah. You've never been more on point.

I've never been more ready. I've been waiting my whole life for a four-syllable movie, the last two syllables are beyond, so I can do that as a sweet gag. Absolutely you can. But I like the look of it. I like Spock's new haircuts. It's so full of volume. It's a Lego man head.

I mean, he's always had the bowl cut, but it looks like a Buffon bowl cut. Yeah, it's great. Is it a wig? It's cut too quick. I can't tell. Well, you... My powers are useless. Your wigdar powers are useless in this situation.

This trailer threw off my wigdar. That's unacceptable. Wow. Yeah. Do you think Zachary Quinto is just like, I'm not getting that haircut again. I have to walk around like that. Yeah, yeah. I'm a very cosmopolitan gentleman.

I reckon maybe that might be it. Like maybe he's got a big shaggy or like he's got some long flowing locks. Yeah. He'd have great hair. He would. And he's like, and they're like, you're going to cut it. And he's like, no, you'll pack it down and you put a big bulbous bald cap over it, like a light bulb.

And then just put an old like monkey's ear, like bowl cut hair over that. Or a coconut husk. Yeah. And then they're like, this is going to look weird. And he's like, I don't care. C.J. I don't know. Look, you made me sign up for three.

Find someone else who looks like Spock. You can't. There's one in a generation and it's me. You can't do it. What do you bring back, Leonard Nimoy? Oh. You can't. There's one in a generation and it's me. You can't do it. What do you bring back Leonard Nimoy? Oh, you can't. You killed him.

I killed him. There can be only one. You get your classic Spock and Bones adventure together. So good. Yep. Yeah.

God, it feels good to be like, this is a good thing and I like it. I feel like I haven't done this in ages. About a movie anyway. Either give us a real good movie or a real bad movie. That's right. Don't give us any of these middling movies.

Don't give us a middling movie. No. Yeah. I like it. Did the dirt bike feel out of place? Yes. Because, look, we'll get into it. But even when they attempted to provide a justification

for why there was a dirt bike, there still shouldn't have been a dirt bike. No, there shouldn't. I knew there was a dirt bike. So I was like, there will be a dirt bike in this and I'm just going to have to... There will be dirt bike. That's right.

I will have to roll with it. So I was like, yeah, this is... It is what it is. I mean, it's easier to film than a space dirt bike, isn't it? That's true. A spurt bike. A spurt bike. A spurt bike. Do you think you could go into this not knowing anything about Star Trek

and watch this movie and enjoy it? Yes. I agree also with that. Do you think this is for nerds and normal people as well? Yeah, nerds and normal people. If you're listening, if you're listening, give it a whirl. If you're out there. If you're out there.

Best movie ever. Me too, definitely. Yeah. Without a doubt. If you're out there. If you're out there. Best movie ever. Me too, definitely. Yeah. Without a doubt. But you have a different rating system now on your YouTube videos, which is listen to the review and you'll know what I'm giving it. What I mean. Yeah.

Which I feel is the best. Because I feel people genuinely do just skip to the end. It's not everybody. Because you know what? Thousands of people watch it, right? All right. We've all got a following on YouTube, mate. All right?

Okay. I've tried to flip over something in a jet ski and I've hit myself in the nuts. We've all got a viral video out there, mate. All right? All right? I wish that was true. We've all been hit in the head with a hill's hoist.

It's got a cricket bat on it. I don't know. Yeah, that was true. We've all been hit in the head with a hill's hoist. It's got a cricket bat on it. I don't know. Yeah, that's right. But most people, I would imagine, watch it and go, okay, and then they don't comment. Do you know what I mean? Because obviously there's that small percentage of people that lose their minds, that don't understand.

But that's okay, Mason. It takes all kinds to make the world. Yeah. Best movie ever, though. I think we're out of steam. Yeah. Yeah. Who cares about anything else that happened this week?

This week, we saw the movie Batman versus Superman, Dawn of Justice. Now, before you give your honest and I'm presuming positive opinion, well, a few things. I'm very unsure about all my thoughts about that movie, this movie, right? But because I feel people- I'm very sure about all my thoughts about that movie, this movie, right? But because I feel people... I'm very sure. Here we go. I feel people should see it. Okay.

Because it is something to see. Good or bad. Oh, okay. I get you. And maybe I should have said that. But I was just... This movie is fucking upside down broken. Yeah, it is.

Yeah. There are some good elements. Uh-huh. You were pretty positive coming out initially i was like yeah no you don't want to say super positive here's the thing though i've had some time to think about it this movie has tipped me over the edge and what i buy it by that i mean every time i see in one of these movies that's kind of bad yeah i'm like oh well but they had the character that i like from the comic book yes and isn't it good that we get to see this

character and i think that's what got me and isn't it good that we get to see this character? And I think that's what got me. And I think we keep doing that. And this one has tipped me over where I'm like, this is, like, that's all you're doing in this. This movie, Batman v Superman, I've had some time to think about it. Batman v Superman, Dawn of Justice, is the Big Bang Theory of superhero movies insofar as, like...

There's a lot of good jokes. Yes. Makes me feel good what's one of those two the nerd and the hot one they go together didn't they that's good no but so they had the show two and a half men right yeah and it's it's a sitcom and it's not good yeah it's not the worst thing in the world but it's bad and then they're like well this is a movie for like this is a sitcom for regular people yeah so let's just make a sitcom for nerds. We'll give the nerds something they want, right? And so they just carbon copy the exact same format.

Yeah. And they just put it in and they're like, now write some lines where Batman and Doctor Who were on the Enterprise talking to Jean-Luc Picard and that's the joke. There you go, nerds. That's what you like, isn't it? That is a good joke, though. You like, you know.

Classic. I picked a bad example because that one just stays in my head because it's so good. And it's just, this is what you like, isn't it? That is a good joke, though. You like, you know. Classic. I picked a bad example because that one just stays in my head because it's so good. And it's just, this is what you like, isn't it, nerd? This movie is that, where they've just gone, they've attempted to trick people by going, Dark Knight Returns, Batman fighting Superman, you like that, don't you?

Here it is. You happy? His son of the dialogue. Doomsday. There you go. You like that, don't you? Not really. Yeah, nobody did

I never really did and it's also I think it's elements of like Zack Snyder wanted to have those yes like I want to have Batman fighting Superman and I want Dark Knight Returns

because it's cool because it's cool and I want I want doomsday because that's cool yeah look the thing that tipped me over but it's not cool

it's bad the thing that tipped me over this movie's bad the thing that tipped me over the edge of the not cool, it's bad. The thing that tipped me over... This movie's bad. The thing that tipped me over the edge of the, I guess, the 50% of best movie ever, worst movie ever, is Ben Affleck as Batman. Okay. Because I genuinely think he's really great

and there's that really awesome sequence where he clears the room of... All his Bruce Wayne stuff is good. Yep. Of the one... It's the best of the Batman action sequences in the movie. And there's two. Oh, there's one where he monkeys out of a room. Doesn't count.

No, it doesn't, does it? Of the solo Batman action scenes in this movie, that's the best and only one. Yes. Yeah. What's the story, Mason? Oh, no. What do you think the story was?

My famous segment, what's the story of this movie? Okay, so it's 18 months after the events of Man of Steel. Yep. And people are like, what's this Superman guy? Is he all right? Is he bad? I don't know. Let's make a monument to him, though.

Yeah. Spend city money on that. Yeah. We could be rebuilding the hospitals, but let's make a monument to him. And then, but then, in the Daily Planet, it's like, no, he's the best. Yeah. And then Clark Kent and Lois Lane, they're in love and just hanging out in the bath or whatever.

But then, over the water in Gotham City. It is a Batman movie, isn't it? Trouble's ruined because Batman's on the case. He's beating up the criminals in a way that superman doesn't approve of even though he probably flew through like 50 people and he didn't even notice during that fight in metropolis that time he doesn't he doesn't because batman's being real rough on him and he brands them with the batman mark and then they go into prison and then those those rapists and pedophiles are in trouble in prison like they wouldn't normally be in trouble

in prison because they've got the brand. Yeah. And so Superman's like, I'll take care of him because he's bad. And Batman's like, I'll take care of Superman because he's bad. He's dangerous, that guy. But then...

But then Lex Luthor's about it. And he's like, I'm Lex Luthor. I'm a wacky jokester. Look at me. And then the movie ends, so that's pretty good, right? It is very much a but then movie, isn't it? Okay, yeah, you nailed that.

This movie is bad, and it also, unless there's some real fast footwork for the next batman movie yeah this is going to ruin the characterization of batman until they reboot this universe again correct this this batman is done if you like the batman comic books this is not the batman you want no and you're not going to get him for the next however many movies he's contracted for yeah until they scrap this universe and rebuild and we go again and we go again yeah also maybe time travel i guess they could yeah they could time travel i guess they could but we'll have to get to that and i'm going to say that and then yeah then what happened is time travel and flashbacks and then a flashback

in a dream sequence or vice versa or a a premonition, who's to say? Looks cool though, doesn't it? I haven't seen you since we saw this and your anger has just... That's the time to stew on it. ...my acid. And again, I just want to be clear because a lot of people, when you say you hate a movie, people are like, oh, it's the critics are determined to hate this movie.

They just want to pile on. First of all, I'm not a critic. I'm an internet celebrity, man. Say what I want. I'm a loose cannon. But also, I really wanted to like this movie. What have we got? So, Batman v Superman.

Here's something that I thought of. In that movie, Scoots McNary is a man who's lost his legs he's in a wheelchair he has to scoot around he has to scoot about and he goes to this congressional hearing

or this senate hearing yeah and Lex Luthor's put a bomb in his wheelchair yeah and Superman is there as well to answer some questions from the senate

and he does because he killed all these people in the desert by shooting them that's right with bullets yeah traditional Superman bullets which is fixed in the desert by shooting them. That's right, with bullets. Traditional Superman bullets. Which is fixed in the Ultimate Cut, but anyway, go on. Yeah, but it's a lead-lined wheelchair, so Superman doesn't see the bomb and it explodes

and it kills everybody. But in that scene, Lex Luthor's already had a conversation with that senator about, don't give me a big jar of piss and and call it granny's pitch tea or whatever right and so she goes to the senate hearing and she realizes she she she goes in there and she looks under her desk and there's a big it's not even on there it's just sitting on the desk it's yeah it's a jar of like yellowy liquid and it's labeled granny's peach tea and then she's just sitting on the desk. Yeah, it's a jar of like yellowy liquid and it's labeled Granny's Peach Tea and then she's shocked

and then the building explodes. Yeah. Here's the thing. Yeah. I think we've covered this. Where did Lex Luthor get all the piss? Because it's a lot of piss. It's even seven and up.

I assume... I think he did a pass around at the office. A whip around at the office. He was like, can everybody piss in this? It's for charity. But secondly, Superman didn't notice the bomb

because it was in a lead-lined case. Which isn't actually said in the original cut. It's said in the ultimate cut. Right. Yeah. But we assume that. Yeah. The larger question is,

why didn't he smell the piss? Maybe it wasn't piss. Look, no. I mean, it was piss, wasn't it? Look, he's got enhanced senses. And look, again, there's some, you know, the senator knows some of this wisdom, like don't piss in the thing and call it Granny's Peach Tea.

Surely Superman, he's got some Kansas wisdom as well. If there's too much piss, there's something amiss. And surely he'd be like, why is there so much piss in this? Why is there so much piss in this room? No, because he'd count all the people in the room. He'd be like, even factoring in all the piss that's in everybody's bladders. It's not a piss.

It's even more piss. Does somebody have a really big problem? Maybe he was distracted. Oh no, there's a bomb! Also, there's the... If he did stop that bomb, there's a big jar of piss on the table

that has to be accounted for. Do you reckon she'd go... Do you reckon she'd take it and be like, this is Lex Luthor's piss, I'm fairly certain. Do you want to run some tests? Do you reckon that's how that would go? Maybe, yeah. People prefer it when they go longer.

That's true. But what do you do? It's around an hour thirty. That's pretty good. That's a solid amount of time. What do you want from us? How long does your bloody commute? What are you going to Mars? Yeah, what are you going to Mars, you dickhead? What are you going to Skull Island? What are you going to Mars, you dickhead? What are you going to Skull Island? What are you going to Skull Island? You need a little playlist?

Do you need a playlist for where you're going? Stop copying me. Why don't you get your playlist, you dickhead? This is why we cut it short. Hey, I'm James, Mr. Sunday Movies, who ate all my paschetti. Now copy that. Ah, you son of a gun. Oh yeah, we're going to talk about gamethrones.

Thanks to everybody who's subscribed to the Lutcrate. Yes. Through our page. That's right. We appreciate it, don't we, Mason? Also, thanks to Lutcrate for allowing me to say Lutcrate every time. They were okay with it. They were okay with it, yeah.

I don't know why. It's so weird. Thanks, guys. Maybe it's like Nike. You know, everybody used to call it Nike. Yeah. Or like Adidas. Americans call it Adidas. Yeah. Incorrect. It's Adidas. Maybe it's like Nike. You know, everybody used to call it Nike. Yeah. Or like Adidas. Americans call it Adidas.

Yeah. Incorrect. It's Adidas. Or it is. So maybe Loot Crate is actually pronounced Loot Crate, and they're like, finally, somebody gets it. Somebody got it. Yeah.

What a great spirit you have, Mason. Thank you. All right. Let's talk about Civil War. Woo! Now, the American Civil War. Nah. Doesn't work as well, does it?

Second time. No. Yeah. Let's talk about the bloody fight scenes, Mason. Okay, sure. Let me adjust my microphone again. Okay, just adjust your microphone. It's falling down again.

You'd think we'd be better at this after, like, several hundred episodes. No, but... Or however many we've done. Nobody expects that from us. 7,000 episodes. Yeah. That's actually lower. This is my worst day.

Yeah. You don't have to agree no it is it's i've seen look i've only seen some of this some of your days so far but it seems like if the rest of the day has been anything like this yeah fight scenes uh i thought it was a little choppy the editing at the start right a. A little too fast-paced. I think the Winter Soldier, I still think one of the best fight scenes in any of these movies, the hand-to-hand stuff, is Captain America and Winter Soldier on the freeway. And they're knife fighting. Yeah.

I still think that's head and shoulders above anything, even the brand of shampoo by the same name. Huh. Wow. Is that an Australian brand? No, that's American. Thank God, because otherwise that joke would not have landed as well the same name. Huh. Wow. Is that an Australian brand? No, that's American. Thank God. Because otherwise that joke would not have landed as well as it has.

Yeah. A plus landing. Scott Lang Ant-Man is like, I'm going to try something. And I was like, I know what he's going to try. What else is good in this movie? It's all pretty good, right? Do you remember the bit at the end where they had the end fight? Do you remember the Audi chase?

Do I ever? So many Audis. Just send us an Audi, Audi. What are you doing? Send us two Audis. Send us two Audi R8s and we'll race them. You have the convertible. I'd love the convertible.

There you go. I'll take a regular sedan, please. Okay, sure. A bit too sporty for you. That's right. Yeah. Yeah, there's actually like an Audi feature of it where they're just like, it's the cast and crew being like,

Well, these are good, aren't they? We love bloody Audi. They let us crash some Audis. We're like, we crash an Audi and they're like, crash seven Audis. And we're like, ah, we will. We only need one. They're like, you crash seven.

Look at those crumple zones. That's right. Now, also in August, I didn't look up this movie. I just saw it in the list, but it was a movie called Sausage Party. So I don't know if that's going to be any good. What? It's on Wikipedia. Let's look it up.

Okay. Wait, I'm kind of reluctant to Google Sausage Party, but let's see how that's done. Okay, now here we go. No, I'm... Okay. You got it? Google's found it for me. Oh, Seth Rogen's in it?

James Franco? Jonah Hill? It's a Computer adult animated comedy film. What? Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Seth Rogen wrote some of it. Jonah Hill's in it. Franco. Yeah. Michael Cera. Selma Hayek. Okay.

Edward Norton's in this. Michael Cera. David Krumholtz. What is this? The guy from Numbers. Kristen Wiig's in it. Nick Kroll is in this Alright

I don't know This could go either way Having not heard One sausage's quest To discover the truth About his existence After falling out Of a shopping cart

Our hero sausage And his new friends Embark on a perilous journey Through the supermarket To get back to their isles Before the 4th of July sale Wait This is Wikipedia Which which doesn't lie.

Why is it? It says page issues, though. Sure. No doubt. Why is the one sausage called sausage? What are the other sausages called? It says one sausage. It doesn't say his name.

Oh, his name's not one sausage. No. Okay, good. Frank a sausage. Frank. Frank a sausage. Like a sausage. Very good.

Yeah, I get it. Great. Joni Hill as Carl, also a sausage. Kristen Wigg as a hot dog bun. That a sausage. Like a sausage. Very good. Yeah, I get it. Great. Joni Hill as Carl, also a sausage. Kristen Wigg as a hot dog bun. That's weird. Oh, that's going to be it. I don't like any of that. This feels an awful...

I feel we've been tricked here. This cannot possibly be real. I don't know, man. I just saw the name. Where have you found this, though? In the list of movies coming out. Where's this list come from? From Wikipedia.

I think this is a conspiracy that goes real deep. All right. It's on IMDb as well. I reckon somebody's done this to see how many podcasts are going to be tricked by it. Like they've gone, okay, everybody's going to have what they're looking forward to this year, and they're all going to look at Wikipedia to see what's coming up, and I's going to have their what they're looking forward to this year and they're all going

to look at Wikipedia to see what's coming up and I'm going to put this in and I'm going to get them all I think this is real I don't know man I'm in

alright reluctantly because I want to know what this is I don't think there's ever been a food based adult comedy animated movie Edward Norton

as Sammy Bagel Jr a bagel cannot be real I don't think there's ever been a food-based adult comedy animated movie. Edward Norton as Sammy Bagel Jr. A bagel. Cannot be real. Cannot be real. Salma Hayek is playing Teresa Tarko. No. All right, we'll see, won't we?

Bill Hader's playing Guacamole. I don't like this at all. This is definitely a trick. No. Not on board? Well, there's an interview on HitFix, fix so maybe you're getting to the bottom of this it's just a rabbit worried it's god i don't know about this also even if it's real and i'm not saying it is yeah it's definitely made up is it any gonna be any good no because it seems if simply something something you'd make up when you're high.

Exactly. This sounds like Rogan or somebody has a whole bunch of microphones. You know what? I bet James Franco has a whole bunch of microphones in his house. He just records things because he's a weird dude, right? He's a weird dude and he's sometimes arty, but he's mostly just cashing a check, right? Yeah.

He's got a whole bunch of microphones. Somebody was like, hey, why don't you put a whole bunch of microphones and cameras in your house for some art thing? And he's like, good idea. Some art thing, good. Some art thing. That's what I like. People like it when I do art things. Yeah.

And he's just put it on. Everybody's gotten high. And they've just been like, imagine if I was a sausage and they've just improvised dialogue for 90 minutes. And they've just sent it to DreamWorks or whoever. this do this that's what this is so it can either be funny like this you know it could be really funny or it could be totally garbage yeah garbage yeah yeah i don't like stoning assuming it's real yes i don't like but it's not real you know stoner movies i just don't like them i don't find them funny pineapple express no see that's i don't consider that a stoner movie that's just don't like them. I don't find them funny at all. Pineapple Express? No, see, that's... I don't consider that a stoner movie.

That's people... I mean like movies that are made being like, you'll love this if you're stoned. Right, right. You'll love it. That's what I'm talking about. Like that kind of shit. Like Speed Racer.

Yeah, like Speed Racer. Like bloody Dude Where's My Car and that kind of stuff. It's like, you know, because it's the kind of thing you go and get blazed and you go in and you watch it because you're a dickhead. Shut up. Mason, can you believe Suicide Squad is upon us? Has been upon us. It's the kind of thing you go and get blazed and you go in and you watch it because you're a dickhead. Shut up. Mason, can you believe Suicide Squad is upon us, has been upon us? It's done.

It's all news, mate. Whoa. What are we even doing here? Okay, before we get into what you and I thought of it in particular, it's looking to make possibly up to $150 million in the US on its debut weekend. Seems like a lot. Enormous, Mason. That's enormous money.

Like conservatively probably around $130 to probably $140. If there's as many billboards in America as there are in Melbourne, like just if there are as many billboards in all of America as there are just in Melbourne right now, they're going to do fine because every bus shelter, every building has a suicide squad. You know it. Yeah. Absolutely.

And they just released that Skrillex song. Oh, Purple Lamborghini. You know it, even though there's not a Purple Lamborghini in it. There's not a Lamborghini. It's more a pinkish purple and it's not a Lamborghini. It's a kit car. Absolutely. It's a nice kit car.

Yeah, it's fine, isn't it? I mean, it's no Ferrari. If I had to. That's how the Jokeroker got started oh he bought some vader rims that's the name of the company right and he slowly purchased the rest of the car and he put it together that's how that works good stuff uh so we're gonna go non-spoilers then spoilers can i say yeah before we get started so you know like a lot of movie reviewers we're on marvel's payroll correct so we tend to give Marvel movies good reviews and DC movies bad reviews.

Except for the Marvel movies we don't really like. Yeah, exactly. So what I was thinking is that we should redress the balance by getting on DC's payroll. I feel that would be the quickest way. So what I've done is I've written some pull quotes for Suicide Squad. So DC, if you're listening, and I know you are, I've got three pull quotes. If you want to put them on your posters or whatever. That you're throwing around America.

Yeah, go right ahead. Okay, here we go. Number one. Ready. The best DC movie yet, asterisk. That's number one. Suicide Squad exceeded my expectations, asterisk. That's two.

Number three. DC's done it again, asterisk. Okay, DC, you can use those. Now stop listening. Things will work out for the best if you stop listening at this point. So from what I've gathered, Mason, you had a bad time? Well, do you want to know what happens after the asterisks? Please.

We can do this organically. No, no. Okay. The best DC movie yet, asterisk. If you don't count Man of Steel. I mean, technically you should because it's in that universe, but they didn't really build a shared universe yet. Like it wasn't set up for that.

So it feels kind of like a separate movie. Sure, yeah. I mean, if you do, so if you do count that, then it's not the best one. Gotcha. It's not as good. If we're including all DC Vertigo properties that could potentially exist in this universe,

I would go with The Losers. That's the best one. That is a good one. And that could totally fit in. They could fit that in. Except Jeffrey Dean Morgan would have to be in both. You'd have to recast him. What about Watchmen?

Oh, that's technically back in. Maybe. Anyway. Maybe. Exceeded my expectations, asterisk. My expectations were in the toilet so congratulations DC your movie is better than a toilet

that's three three DC's done it again asterisk what specifically they've done is they've made a garbage movie with a couple of bright spots in it to trick us into thinking that this is a good movie but it's not a good movie and we're going to have to wait if we want to good movie, and we're going to have to wait.

If we want to get the full movie, we're going to have to wait for the extended edition again. That's the asterisk. Yeah, that's the asterisk. Well, you know what, Mason? Yes. I had a fun time with this movie. That being said, I don't disagree with any of the things you've said.

Look, I had an okay time with this movie, but it is not a good movie. Yeah, look, I can't really argue with that. Captain Boomerang I enjoyed. I would have liked to have enjoyed him more though exactly look i think jai caught uh you know we've seen jai courtney and stuff before yeah that was bad terminator genesis is bad yeah he's good in this he's clearly channeled his um his internal australian bogan backpacking through thailand like he's just dirty Bogan backpacking through Thailand. Like he's just dirty and aggro and just sinking.

Bad facial hair. And he's just, just getting in people's faces. And I like what we see of him, but he's barely in the movie. Yeah. Unfortunately. And yes. What does he do? His character motivation.

I did not buy at all. He had a great moment in the bar where they're like, listen, I'm going to shut off. I'm breaking my phone, so I'm not going to detonate any bombs in your head. And Captain Boomerang just gathers up his beer and he bolts. Yeah, that was great. And I'm like, that's great.

And then 10 seconds later, they're walking down the street and he just kind of sidles up into the group. Even have a cut of him drinking beer and he's just like, fuck it, and he just rejoins. But he just kind of goes back in the group. Even have a cut of him drinking beer and he's just like, fuck it, and he just rejoins. But he just kind of goes back in the line. That's what I was going to say. We should get back to character motivations in a second. It disappointed me, again,

because he didn't have any novelty boomerangs. He should have had novelty boomerangs, tons of them. Too many. We should have been spoiled for choice, Mason. We should have been spoiled for choice. There wasn't even the moment where he throws the boomerang, somebody goes, you missed, and then it hits him in the back. You hate that, though.

No, but here's the thing. You do a funny little twist on it. He throws the boomerang. The bad guy, the opponent goes, you missed. And Captain Boomerang's like, did I? And there's a beat. And you hear the boomerang like fall into the water. I hear a splash and then it cuts back to boomerang.

He's like, I'm really drunk. I'm so drunk. That would have been amazing. Would have worked. Ben Affleck, when you do your Captain Boomerang solo movie, let me see the script. Let me see the script. Got to think of a theme.

Here we go. Wait, I can do this. Miniguns are pretty rad. Is this one good or is it bad? We'll test this scene to its linets in the segment, Maso's Minigun Minutes. Did you say linet? Yeah. It's hard because you've got to work backwards. I went, mini, what rhymes with minute?

Nothing. I don't want to know now. I've already done it. I had skillet, but rhymes with minute? Nothing. I don't want to know now. I've already done it. I had skill at that. Okay. Anyway, you know Mark Ruffalo.

Anyway, here we go. So for anybody who doesn't know, I love a minigun, which is a real big gun with a lot of barrels. Sure. It's usually hung on a helicopter or a very large action hero, like the Rock or Arnold Schwarzenegger. Sure. And they're often in movies, but they're often poorly used.

Yes. Okay, so in this one, it's mounted to a helicopter. Good start. Great start. It's a big old gun. Good old muzzle flash. You know what? Okay, plus 100 points because they actually shoot some people with it.

Yeah, they riddle them. Because 99% of the time, it's just used to shoot at foliage or police cars or something. Yeah, yeah. And I just want to see somebody riddle with bullets. Just get torn in half. That's what I want. Exactly.

And look, and again, nobody important gets shot with it. No. Just some trick. Some of Rick Flag's friends. Yeah, exactly, yeah. Who's Scott Eastwood in this? Nobody. Oh, yeah, by the way, I did a poll for the Weekly Planet.

Oh, yes? Hashtag Weekly Planet Pod. What did you think of Suicide Squad? 13% said total shit. 18% said whatever. 54% said fun but with flaws. 15% said total shit 18% said whatever 54% said fun but with flaws 15% said amazing So I think most people kind of fall in that middle kind of range

Even though you hated a Mason Because as we know, you're a Marvel fanboy You're a dickhead You're a bad bloke You bring nothing but negativity I hope you get hit by a car All those things are true Alright, Josh Trank, let's have a look Hope you get hit by a car. All those things are true.

All right. Josh Trank. Let's have a look. All right. We should have regular Josh Trank updates. Oh, Josh Trank updates. What's a good name for that? You'll get it naming things.

Oh, okay. Josh Trank, Trank, Trank. Is he back on Trank? You've done it. You like that? Yeah. Now, it should be punchier. Okay. Maybe just back on Trank? That, you've done it. You like that? Yeah. Now, it should be punchier. Okay.

Maybe just back on Trank. That's what I said. No, I said easy back. Yeah, back on Trank. You have to say it like that. Okay. Oh, this is going to be a fantastic four. Got 9% on Rotten Tomatoes.

No, there's nothing in his Wikipedia. Yeah. Oh, God, this is not good for Josh Trank. No. He had a Star Wars and everything. This is going to be our greatest recurring segment of them all. Even better than Minigun Minute. I don't think anything's better than Minigun Minute, Mason. That's true.

Josh Trank is one of those guys who looks completely... Upcoming Project 1, The Red Star. Okay. It's not in his IMDb. It is. Not as director. No, he's co-writer. Okay.

There you go. He's easing his way back in. Yeah, he is. He's one of those guys who looks completely different in every photo I see. Not his director. No, he's co-writer. Okay, there you go. He's easing his way back in. Yeah, he is. He's one of those guys who looks completely different in every photo I see. Oh, yeah? Yeah. I'm like, is that Josh Trank? Is he back on Trank?

I don't know. All right, Mason. Let's get into the next segment of the show. Let's get the next segment. Look, I've had a bloody glass of wine as a result of this, as you know. I'm aware. Yeah. Hey, is there something going on with you?

You seem like a little off. No, I'm good this, as you know. I'm aware. Yeah. Hey, is there something going on with you? You seem like a little off. No, I'm good. Listen, Stranger Things is great. If you don't like it, it's fine and it's cool, but you're wrong. It's fine that you feel that way, enjoy what you want, but you're wrong. What are you, get out of here, kid. Get the bloody kid out of here.

Ruining this stellar show that nothing ever goes wrong. What a Stranger Thing. What a stranger thing. What's next? We've got to talk about Doctor Strange, Harrison. Okay. Can I take the lead on this one? Of course you can. This movie was fine. Good night, everybody.

We're done. See you next week. Okay. It's fine. I thought you would have liked it a little bit more. I did. Look, I enjoyed it. Yeah.

There was some great... There was some genuinely great effects. Yeah. I didn't love the being hurled through i look i wasn't as entranced by this being hurled through multiple dimensions kind of thing a lot of people a lot of people are blown away and be like oh my god he looked at his hand and then his hand grew some more hands and they grew some i don't care but i saw that take your bloody take your bloody first acid trip dreams and bloody get them out of here.

I don't care for any of that. It's their first dalliance. Is that the right word? I guess. Depends what you're going to say. Magic. Into the world of magic and sorcery. But I have one question for you, Mason.

Okay. What do you think the story was? Oh, no. You've done it again. You've got me at my most vulnerable. So let me think. Okay. So. Iron Man, except it's magic. So let me think. Okay, so. Iron Man, except it's magic.

It's Iron Man. See, there we go. Like it's a perfectly good phase one Marvel origin movie. Yeah, it is. That's exactly what it is. It's probably not the best one. The best one's still Iron Man. I like First Avenger quite a lot.

Like when I think Doctor Strange in a magical battle with another sorcerer, I think the bloody bolts of bedevilment and I think of the crimson bands of sight. The winds of Watoom. Winds of Watoom. And I think, like, fireballs and lightning bolts and illusions and, you know, monsters being conjured up out of little circles and bloody, you know. I don't. Inanimate objects

being turned into snakes sure that's what I want nothing turned into a snake in this movie that's true nothing did turn into a snake out of ten

yeah but I think that's I'm fairly certain they did that for a reason they gave him like three things yes but also

there were certain scenes where that worked to the movie's advantage yeah alright and what I'm talking about is there's a bit where he gets in a brawl in the Sanctum Sanctorum. Yes.

And he doesn't, he can't do anything. Yeah. And they're just hammering him and he's running and he's got one thing. And I thought that was really interesting that he's not quite at that level and he's still surviving. No, no, I see. There's a level of tension there. I guess the idea, like, I understand that he's not the Sorcerer Supreme

in this movie. Yeah. But he can't call upon all these amazing, you know, powers that the version in the comic books does. Yeah. But I feel like there was not even any inkling that anybody in this universe, on any level, in any place in the world, could do any of these things. Like the movies, you go to the library in this movie and it contains, you know, there's these hundreds of books of all these different spells, you know, gathered from all corners of the world at all times

and all places. But everybody's got the same cookie cutter powers. Everybody is essentially just stick. Everybody's got a stick and everybody's doing Tai Chi, but they've got handfuls of big orange sparklers. That's everybody in this movie. The good guys have fistfuls of orange sparklers and the bad guys have ghost knives that's it give me something like it doesn't i they're just they're it's they're no different

from anybody else in the marvel universe they've got they're harnessing some energy from somewhere they're turning it into a vague thing right Right. Like, when I was coming out of this movie, my first thought was, and we'll get to why in spoilers, my first thought was, I don't think Doctor Strange would pass an Avengers audition. Like, he'd come in the room. What, he couldn't beat Hawkeye? No, well, the Vision had come in the room,

and the Vision would be wearing his sweater vest, and he'd have a clipboard. And he'd be like, so, Doctor Strange, what can you do? And Doctor Strange is like, I can make shields. And Vision's like, oh, indestructible shields? And Strange would be like, no, no, they're very destructible. One hit and they're gone. And the Vision would be like, we kind of already have an indestructible shield, guys.

Can you do anything else? And he'd be like, I've got an incorporeal astral form and the vision would be like oh good very good isn't it how good is it when the bad guys just can't touch you isn't that great he's like well i mean potentially they could find my lifeless still body on the ground a couple of feet away but it's fun to walk through walls isn't it and then vision would be like um we have a guy who walked through walls it's me it's me can you do anything else and strangers like i know kung fu and then the vision would be like we all bloody know kung fu the other day we all did kung fu on each other so hard we blew up an

airport we could you're not impressing me mate i've tried to be nice. How good would, like, a rebooted X-Men recast really well, integrated in the Marvel Universe? I think that would be spectacular. And I don't hate all the X-Men films. A lot of them I quite like. Yep. I'd probably like half of them, maybe. Maybe, yeah.

Would you, see, if they're going to reboot the X-Men and put them in the Marvel Universe, wouldn't you really want to see Hugh Jackman as Wolverine just one more time? I think, look, yes, because I think he's great. But it's at the point where if you're going to fresh start it, you kind of have to kick him. Because he's kind of at the age where he probably doesn't want to keep doing it. He's done eight.

I mean, not all full movies, but most of those movies revolve around him. He's nearly 50, or he's 50 this year. Yep. He's got to maintain that body. Correct. And he doesn't want to do that anymore either. I think. Yes.

What about this? What about this? Well, does he necessarily have to have an action role in it? I mean, maybe give him like one scene where he's doing action and he's got a shirt on. I feel like they went for him for something. That might've been Dr. Strange. No, I'm sure they've hit him. Amazing. I i feel like they went for him for something that might have

been dr strange no i'm sure they've hit him amazing i'm sure they've hit him up for something i can't remember what it is i'd like to see maybe what what if what if they get reintegrated like reintegrated into the marvel universe and there's like you don't see him but there's constant references to the professor like we're going to get back to the you know the the mansion and see the professor and then we go back and it's Wolverine. And he's bald. Maybe. Yeah.

He's like, I don't know what happened to the continuity. Why am I bald now? I would love that. Right? Also, his hair grows back when it gets burnt off. Yep. To the same length. Yes.

Remember that happens in the Wolverine? The nuclear bomb goes off. That's right, yeah. These movies are fucked. Yeah. I love it yeah somebody floated this to me on Twitter and I'm sorry I don't have your name in front of me that and a few people I think have suggested this what if Professor X is just in his mind oh I think it's possible but I think he looks bedridden like I don't think he'd be caring for

him to that extent yeah I think he'd just be kind of in the I don't think he'd be caring for him to that extent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think he'd just be kind of in the room with him. You know what? I'm not looking forward to real sad Professor X. Like, there's a bit... They're in a car chase and Wolverine's doing a dummy and Professor X is in the back and he's just looking real sad and helpless

and he's like, oh, no. I don't like these G-forces. And I'm like, oh, so sad. That's how I would look at a car if somebody's doing a doughy. I do not feel comfortable with that. No, I think you're right. I mean, I guess... Because he can jump into people's minds.

Maybe that's it. That's something he can do. But why would he look... Yeah, that's right. Because whenever you see... Unless he's all feeble, like his mind is still... I guess so. But I guess whenever you see a version of Professor X in someone's mind,

it's always an ideal version of him. Yeah, that's true. Like even in Apocalypse, when you see him, he's still got the hair. Yeah, he's so vain. Yeah, he's so vain, he's still got the hair, even though he's bald. That whole movie was built around him going bald. They started with him going bald and they worked their way backwards. Every, like, the villain, they're like, there was probably a whiteboard,

the producer's whiteboard, and it's like, Professor X going bald, and they're like, what villain could make him go bald? Or technically any of them, I guess. Oh, God. Because he was so frightened in his mind. Could he just go to Pop's barbershop? No, it's in a different universe. What are you thinking?

Get out. You're fired. Good stuff. All right, Mason. Let's go to return and get this. Okay. No, I haven't got it. I got bloody fidgety hands.

Do you know that about me? Yes. Yeah, I can't bloody sit still. Oh, it's fidgeting. Yeah. All right. What do we got? Oh, yeah, let's do the next segment of the show. Okay.

Oh, next segment. Oh, you're looking forward to it? Yes. Me too. But again, not sad. Not sad, Professor X. Fair enough. Come on, mate.

Would you want him in the back when he's doing a do-it-up just going, Woo-hoo! Is that what you want? Yeah, Panama by Van Halen's playing. Someone should take this trailer and recount it with Panama. Just, yeah, either the whole trailer or just four minutes of them doing doughies in the car. And it's like, Panama, Panama. That would be really good.

Good stuff. Panama. We have fun here, don't we? Sometimes. Sometimes we do. Well, Mason, seeing as it it's batman day apparently which is apparently a thing and it's tactical bat suit day as well because sometimes he wears sometimes he wears a silken he was a silken costume it's not bulletproof but why would you though to get around quicker just to show off his abs show off your abs that's true and that sweet v that he's got probably. Yeah. Yeah.

We thought we'd talk like the best and the worst and the weirdest versions of Batman and like Batsuits and just a whole lot of variations. It's a Batman grab bag. It's so true. Batman grab bag. It's the Batman grab bag. Hashtag Batman grab bag.

So, yeah, we're just going to, we've got some tweets that we're going to read out towards the end of some of the listeners' favourites. Okay. Here's one that I thought was terrible. Like, I think it's terrible now. I thought I was going to start.

Okay. We have fun, don't we? I was just thinking about this one the other day. It's not good, but I'm sure I have have the prestige format softcover version at home at my parents house in a box somewhere did you ever read Superman Speeding Bullets? is that the one where Batman is Superman?

no Superman is Batman you're an idiot as if Batman would be Superman no this one's Superman's Batman but this is the version where Kal-El lands not in Kansas but in Gotham Batman. But this is the version where Kal-El lands not in Kansas, but in Gotham City, and he's adopted by the Waynes. Because Bruce is dead?

That's a good question. I think they just didn't have a Bruce. Oh, I thought he was killed. Maybe I'm wrong. But why would they name the kid Bruce again? Oh, they named him Bruce again. They named him Bruce again. Bruce again, yeah.

Well, we tried, but... Hashtag Batman grab bag. We missed him, so here's Bruce again. Bruce again, yeah. Well, we tried, but... Hashtag Batman grab bag. We missed him. So here's Bruce again. But anyway, so they raise him and then the exact scenario plays out again where they're leaving the Zorro film and there's a mugger

and Thomas and Martha Wayne are killed and then Batman incinerates him with heat. Bruce incinerates him with heat vision. Right. And then he becomes sort of a more masked Batman. Like he's got the full face covering. Okay. But the problem is anytime you give Batman too much power, it's no longer fun.

Yeah, you're right. I mean, sure, he can fly like a bat can fly, but he can also shoot heat vision like a bat can shoot heat vision. Like a bat can fly. Yeah, exactly, right? And it's any time it's- You've got to be careful how you level him up. And it's okay in terms of like because this is an Elseworlds and it's out of continuity and it's fine for five minutes,

but then if you were to take that into the real world, the real world, if you take that into regular continuity, there's no more fun. No, you're right. His strength is that he's a regular guy to most extent. There is actually a comic as well where Batman gets Bruce Wayne's powers.

They swap. Batman gets Bruce Wayne's powers. He's bad at business. He's bad at business, but he's good at delegating. I'm really tired. He's good at pretending to be asleep during board meetings. That's right. Fading sleep.

So the bad guys have like a big mob gathering and they're like, what's Batman doing here? No, don't worry about it. He's asleep. He's got a snot bubble coming out. But so Bruce Wayne gets Superman's powers, but he goes mad. So he loses his smart mad. Right, okay, yeah.

So he loses his smarts. Yeah, okay. And then they end up having a battle and he beats him with Kryptonite or whatever. Sure. It's fine. It's not what we're really talking about. Mason, we've got a topic for this week. Oh, yeah.

I've changed it to last minute. Great. I want to do, just thinking about Ben Affleck, I want to do, who has the widest head and face in Hollywood? Willem Dafoe. What about John Travolta? Oh, that's pretty wide. Ron Perlman.

More long than wide. Yeah, he's long and more long than wide. Ray Liotta. Oh, that's such a wide head. Javier Bardem. So wide. What's that movie and there's a woman? I think it might be...

Is it... Brazil. It's Brazil. There's a woman and she's got all her head's been stretched out. Yes, that's right. Whitest head in Hollywood? Yeah. Okay, the woman from Brazil.

Okay, we did it. I guess we can do another topic now that we've covered that. Now we've exhausted that. Ben Affleck does have a big head, doesn't he? I mean, he's a big bloke, but he's got a big bloody head on him. I think a lot of people in Hollywood have big heads. Because they've got small bodies and big heads? Yeah.

Yeah. Okay, fair enough. I think he is big. I think he's of people in Hollywood have big heads. Because they've got small bodies and big heads? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, fair enough. I think he is big. I think he's like 6'4 or something. Anyway. Are we going to talk about the Uncanny Valley? Absolutely, we should.

I don't know. That may have been debunked recently. Was everybody in Ally McBeal having a stroke? Is that what that show was? Oh, is that why everybody saw a dancing baby?

Yeah. You know, I don't... Maybe it was the stress of lawyer life. Yeah, I guess. That is a metaphor. Maybe it's the stress of somebody hearing you go to the toilet in that unisex bathroom. That's probably it, yeah. Robert Downey Jr. was in that.

He was. It was his low point. It was his lowest point. No, actually it wasn't because he got fired for drug use, then he went to jail. So someone argued... Probably jail was his lowest point, No, actually it wasn't because he got fired for drug use. Then he went to jail. So someone argued. Probably jail was his lowest point. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I meant in the Hollywood machine. Okay, sure. Yeah, that's probably true. Yeah. But by all accounts, he was really good in that. They brought in Bon Jovi after to kind of lift the spirit of the show. Bon Jovi's not going to jail.

He certainly isn't. Ha ha. Yeah, Uncanny Valley.anny valley don't explain that well the the uncanny valley sort of we as human beings yes and we're both human beings that we know about oh boy we we will we will accept and we will not find disturbing a character that is like a robot character or a CGI character that does not look at all like a human. So like an R2-D2 character like that. He's got kind of human character traits. He's got a little personality all of his own, but he doesn't look anything like... Most of us. Yeah, exactly. yeah and then and we'll accept can you remind me to put my bins

out are you leaving this in yeah how dare you i just i just had a thought god last week i had to run out my underwear and put my bin out and my neighbor's like hey and i'm like yeah what this is this is what this is yeah we'll have to leave this in. I'll make a note. I'll make a note in my weekly planner. I'll put the bins out. I just caught the truck. What we reading?

Put your bins out. I'm putting bins. All right. Do you mean in the morning? No, tonight. Because I don't want to run out in the morning again. All right, I've written it down. Thank you.

What are we talking about? Uncanny valley. I'm sorry. It has nothing to do with garbage bins. Well, I thought R2-D2 and garbage bin. Oh, perfect. You brought it down. Thank you. What are we talking about? Uncanny Valley. I'm sorry. It has nothing to do with garbage bins. Well, I thought R2-D2 and garbage bins. Oh, perfect. You brought it back. I've done it.

Yeah. This is nothing if not an episode about perfect segues. Mason, I hope you believe in this, all the Marvel news that we've got. Woo! So we got some Netflix trailers. Yes, we did. So good. We got Luke Cage.

We got Iron Fist. And we got The Defenders. Yeah. Not of the The Defenders. Yeah. Not of the Earth, Mason. Did he put it in? Did he put it in? Who's to say, Mason? Who's to say?

I don't know. Maybe I've given up on that game. Okay. As you know. So, let's talk. Defenders of the Earth. Defenders. Out of the sky

His rockets ignite Gets into battle Flying faster than light Flash Gordon Lord of the jungle The hero who stalks The beasts call him brother The ghost war

Fanzu Defenders of the Earth Defenders Iron Fist Also the biggest reveal That people tweeted to us. Yes. I'm sure you know what this is. Oh, Kurt Russell has been cast as Ego the Living Planet

and also Star-Lord's dad. How does that work? I don't know, but I think... It's prediction time, Mason. Ring-a-ding-ding! This is the official bell we always use every week. If you've just tuned in for the first time, here we go.

Time to predict a ring, a ding ding. I'll predict a thing. That's what we say. Somebody make a thing too. We will add it to lit. We'll add it literally every single time we predict the thing on this podcast. So you will,

you'll get no money, but you'll get a lot of glory. I'll give you a clean one. Ring get a lot of glory. That's right. I'll give you a clean one. Ring-a-ding-ding, let's predict a thing. I've spent all day making trailer breakdowns. You are delirious. I'm clearly...

That's not as funny as you think it is. Okay, I'm going to predict that he can make human avatars. Because he can't go because he can't move sort of but i'm gonna say that within a certain like radius he can create like a human avatar okay so to to explore the universe or what have you all right ring a dd and it can it can bang yeah well that's right because one goes to earth being being a pure light yeah i'm going to make a prediction. Yours actually sounds a lot better. Ring-a-ding-ding. I'll predict a thing. Okay. That...

Think tune. That... Add some Christmas bells. The planet is a ship, like a Wizard of Oz situation. Oh, okay, sure. And he's like the pilot. It is... So they think it's this big kind of sentient planet,

but it's just a dude in a really big ship. Oh, okay, that works. Okay, yeah. But I honestly don't know. Yeah. That's what we do in this segment. That's why it's lasted so very long. Because it's going to predict things.

Why it's one of our staples. Yeah. Best show. What? What? You had one before on your screen. What was it? It was a cowboy 80s show.

What was that one called? Oh, Brave Star. Brave Star. His horse was anthropomorphic. Oh, no. Anthropomorphic. Oh, no. It's the pronunciation episode.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, he wasn't always anthropomorphic. He was a regular horse, but like an intelligent regular horse, like a cyborg horse. Right. And then he would, like if Bravestar needed backup, he would like rear up and he would, I guess his legs would, like his back legs would click forward so they were regular.

His knees would snap. Yeah. And he'd draw his own rifle. Could he talk? Yeah. That's great. Wait, before or after the transformation? Both.

That's incredible. Yeah. So he had like metal legs that would like click into place or yeah yeah yeah well that's great yeah you could buy i think i had the action figure and you whip out his hat he'd often whip out his hat don't you think that's a bit kind of that's a weird relationship to have with another intelligent being it'd be like we did the podcast together and then you like ride me home or whatever. Exactly. Click your legs back into place.

We're going. It's very strange. Yeah. He was on the planet of New Texas. Right. Planet New Texas. He's another character where everybody immediately is going to go just get the rock. Even the horse.

He's a big broad guy and he's ethnically ambiguous. Yeah, both of them. Right? Exactly. Absolutely. Here's the thing, though. though brave star could call on spirit animals ah and i don't think you can use spirit animals anymore no i don't think that's a thing weird there would be another way you could do it where you could be like you couldn't you'd not don't call it spirit animals yeah almost certainly like tech bird i don't know you could say tech bird. Yeah. Good. Great stuff.

What was that other one? This is going to be an episode of what was that other one? Yeah. But you know what, Bravestar? I don't think so. Eventually the nostalgia well is going to run dry and every single one of these properties is going to come forth. Yeah.

Look, you couldn't do it as a, it wouldn't work as a gritty reboot because again, standy uppie horse. Yeah. Standy uppie cyborg horse. It's not going to work. Or could you do it as like a last days of the Wild West kind of thing? Or like it's an apocalyptic future on this planet.

Right. And you could do it like an old man Logan kind of thing. Sure. That would work. But with a standy-uppy horse. With a standy-uppy horse, right? But maybe all his systems are malfunctioning and he's only a regular horse now.

Yeah. He's always like, I remember back in the day when I was a standy-uppy horse. Under the sea. I'm a crab helping a mermaid fall in love with a man. Harry Potter. Now, we've been promising that we'd do a Harry Potter episode for a while.

Yep. Maybe we should make this a yearly thing seeing as we're getting five movies. Sure. Harry Potter now we've been promising that we'd do a Harry Potter episode for a while yep maybe we should make this a yearly thing seeing as we're getting five sure movies though every two years

so like you know we had our yearly Hunger Games Doctor Who episode sure yeah now that's out the window because one of those stopped

and also if you listen to all those you notice our distinct loss of enthusiasm over the course of should we team this up with another franchise maybe not this time around because we don't have another thing If you listen to all those, you notice our distinct loss of enthusiasm over the course of... Should we team this up with another franchise? Maybe not this time around because we don't have another thing.

Yeah, well, I think we need to do two movies at a time because there's eight in total. So presuming this podcast keeps going. Yep. I guess we'll do this for eight years. Yeah, sure. No, four years because if we do two at a time. Yeah, nice. Mathematics, Mason.

It's important. I was actually at school when this one actually first came out, but even then I was at the age where I was like, fuck this. Okay, sure. And I hadn't read them at that point. And I think I saw the first two before I read the books. I'm like, why would I read this? We're recording, right?

Yes. Okay, good. I just had a moment of dread. We're around 30 minutes. Okay, good. I just had a moment of dread. We're around 30 minutes in. Okay, right. Wait, did you remember these when they came out? Yeah, I saw the first one in cinemas. Did you?

Because I think at the time I was dating somebody who had read the books. Okay. A child. I'm kidding. You can edit that out. No, I don't. It's fine. No, I don't think the books are for kids necessarily.

Okay, right. But these first two movies more so. Also, you get to an age where you don't have to travel. It's called apparate, where you can disappear and reappear anywhere. And you can do that at like your VCA levels. You get to like 16 and you're allowed to do it. Oh, that's fun. Yeah.

But like, why does anybody do anything? Why does anybody have a car? Yeah, exactly. Well, he does it because he's... George Weasley's the head of muggle affairs or he's in that department so he has to pretend to be human or something well that and he's just got a real interest in it and he's got a fascination with like muggle stuff right it's like nobody needs a hot rod or something but you build one okay right okay that makes sense all right yeah but uh so but you can't do that in hogwarts that's got a shit so you can't do that in Hogwarts.

So you can't just teleport into Hogwarts. Like not even Dumbledore can. But he can clap on a phoenix and disappear. That happens in the fifth movie. It's pretty sweet. It's his finest moment in the movies. Sounds amazing. He bursts into flames.

It's incredible. That's his Gandalf fighting the Balrog. He claps and he disappears. Amazing. It's really good. It's a really good scene. Becauserog. He claps and he disappears. Amazing. It's really good. It's a really good scene. Because they come to arrest him. Yes.

Because they're like, you're starting an army to overthrow the government. And he's like, I'm not going to go with you. And they're like, you better. And he's like, see you later. And he bursts into flames. That's great. And one guy's like, that dude's got style. And I'm like, yeah, he does.

In that scene at least. They were like, oh, he used magic. We didn't expect that. We didn't expect the head of magic at a magic school. Who's the best at magic. Who's the best at magic who has a wand that makes him undefeatable at magic. We didn't expect him to use magic. I mean, next time we encounter him,

we should have some countermeasures for that magic. What a bunch of idiots. That's what I'm talking about. If you live and breathe magic, if your job is to apprehend people who can use magic, surely you have something set up to stop them using magic. But he is a level above everyone else. Like a lot of the people, they're just government men.

Oh, so they find them. Okay, right. There's a lot of that. Like not everybody is really good at magic. The thing about the walking dead is it's fucking weak as piss mate well look mason you know what we love what do we love versus our listeners oh oh yeah that's that's priority number one our sponsors our sponsors that's probably priority number one let's let's rank the things that we love okay great our friends. Sleeping. Our friends and loved ones. Okay, sleeping, number one.

What was I thinking? Sleeping, number one. Number two. Not going to work. A good breakfast. Yeah. Not going to work is probably number two. Yeah.

I don't know. I'd probably put work above not going to work above sleeping. Yeah, me too, actually. Yeah. Not going to work. Great. Anyway, maybe we'll come back to that. We'll do an episode.

We'll rank the things that we love. We just rank the things we like. No, so we do these superhero showdown episodes. Yes, we do. I think this might be the third or fourth that we've done. Could be. Where basically we say to people, tweet us in, put it on the Reddit, email to superheroes or supervillains or any fictional or non-fictional character anything in

the world anyone any concept it can be a piece of sadness versus sleeping in it can be a toaster versus a dragon like a toaster versus a more expensive toaster that's right maybe it's got four slots oh yes can you imagine yeah how many slots has your toaster got mine's just got the two yeah mine's just got two as well. Did you ever need more than that? There's not enough people living here that I would need more than that. I'd be like if I had eight kids, I'd need one of those long toasters. Do you know what I mean?

Sure, yeah. Just put a whole loaf of bread in. They're called the Brady Bunch toaster. That's right. What are we doing here? Anyway, you send in our listeners, the weekly whacker to do's, our loyal listeners, they send in some people they would like us to fight and we determine who is the winner.

Here am the rules. Yes. Wait, what are the rules? Okay, here we go. Open football field. The rule is the setting. The two opponents, they just appear at opposite ends of a standard-sized American football field,

which we have determined is the optimum size and shape for a superhero-supervillain concept item showdown. Correct. Now, bearing in mind, neither you nor I have ever set foot on an American football field. And we never will. We figure close enough. However, if both characters are Canadian,

I'm willing to say it could be an ice hockey rink. Oh, okay. But they have to be on skates. So if it's like Wolverine versus bloody Guardian or whatever, they have to ice skate on a hockey rink. That's fair enough. Yeah, I think so. Okay, I'm okay with that.

Rule number two, they appear, the opposite ends. They see the other one. They immediately perceive the other one as a threat. So it can't be like, hey, maybe they just have a nice little chat. No. The other one's a threat. Enemies. They are enemies.

Then they proceed to neutralize the opponent in the way that they normally would. That's right. So Batman's not going to kill you. Yep. I'll fire a gun. Wolverine might start out non-lethal. Yep. And then escalate. Yep, that's right. So Batman's not going to kill you. Yep. Or fire a gun. Wolverine might start out non-lethal. Yep. And then escalate.

Yep, that's right. Deadpool will just try to kill you straight away. Correct. Okay. The opponents have whatever equipment they would normally have on them. Or whatever we deem. Yeah, if somebody has a good suggestion, we'll just probably just roll with that. That's fine.

I'm going to say no vehicles, no backup, unless it's part of the character. So like Batman doesn't have the Batmobile, but Ghost Rider can probably summon his motorcycle. Sure, I guess so, yeah. You know what I mean? Can that summon out of thin air, that motorcycle? Sometimes it can, sometimes it can't. Because the Batmobile can't summon it.

I guess he could summon the Batwing. We'll get to that, I'm sure. Let's just say no vehicles. Let's say no vehicles. Yeah. And obviously Batman can't call Alfred and be like, That wing. We'll get to that, I'm sure. Yeah. Let's just say no vehicles. Let's say no vehicles. Yeah. Yeah. So, and obviously Batman can't call Alfred and be like, Alfred, get down here.

I'm in trouble. Please help Alfred. Spawn's using all these chains. Do you have something to help me with that? Spawn's got so many chains. I did not see this coming. I think that's the rules though. That's pretty much the rules.

It's established. Yeah. Okay. And in our decision Final rule Our decision is final Yep Unless you have any inkling

That there might be a better result In which case That's fine Also We're not super invested in this No And we're not going to fight you On Twitter

Yep About it Whatever you think is correct Correct We don't care Alright Alright First one

This is from Ash Pogson Ind Indominus Rex from Jurassic World. You saw this one? Yep. Versus King Kong? No, I got the Queen from Aliens. Oh, okay. King Kong would smash that. Well, it depends on the version because it's giant.

Yeah. So which one do you want to do? Both or is that done? No, let's do your one. All right. The Queen from Aliens. Yes. Who's intelligent.

Uh-huh. How's her strength though? Real strong. The queen from Aliens. Yes. Who's intelligent. Uh-huh. How's her strength, though? Real strong. Hmm. Also acid for blood. Right. So if he sinks his teeth in. Yeah.

I guess it's a question of who dies first. Right. Okay. But then, okay, what's the queen got there? She's got the lashy tail. She does have a lashy tail. The lashy, speary tail. Yeah.

Yeah. Do you reckon that would kill him through his head? Yeah. So that would, speary tail. Yeah. Yeah. Do you reckon that would kill him through his head? Yeah. So that would be it? No. And even if it got her and bit into her, he would still die. From the acid. Yes, from the acid.

From the acid, yeah. It would melt off his lower jaw and he'd die. I feel it's a case of they both, if presuming he survives the spear yeah she survives the spear that was a lady lady battle hello hello oh what if they kiss uh no presumably if if would the would the alien queen know to go for the brain yeah i reckon well she goes for ripley's head that's true okay yeah um and that's a big target as well. All right, assuming the Indominus rex gets close enough, the alien queen goes for the spearing, misses.

Maybe the Indominus rex grabs it because she's got the real hands. Oh, yeah, sure. She's got the real arms. I feel it's a case of the Indominus rex starts to tear into it and bite into it, the alien queen. Like a crab. Yeah, and then it's a case of Alien Queen. Like a crab. Yeah. And then it's a case of they just turn into this weird acidic mess.

And it's a case of which one hits the ground first. Right. I've got a good one. It's a short one. Okay, I'm ready. In the meantime, this is from Alex. Scrooge McDuck versus Bruce Wayne. He specifies, not Batman, Bruce Wayne.

I mean... Well, it's a man versus a duck, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. They're both rich, but I don't think Bruce it's a man versus a duck, isn't it? Yeah. They're both rich, but I don't think Bruce Wayne would care about killing a duck. Maybe a sentient duck. No, he'd care about killing a sentient duck. Yeah. Do you think you'd

have to pretend that he's not skilled to keep his identity? No, because there's nobody... This is a football field. It's not like the Gotham football field. It's not the G, C, F. In any case, like, yeah, thank you. In any case, even if that were the case,

they're like, oh, look, it's socialite Bruce Wayne fighting some sort of weird duck monster. Like, I think it'd be fine if Bruce Wayne just, like, choked him out. Yeah, definitely. He'd be fine. He'd be like, I'm down for help. He chokes out the duck. But what skills does skills how fast is

Scrooge McDuck he's a he's a duck he can't fly can he well he's got probably got a like a coat on I've never seen a duck

fly in that show no that's true he's got a cane he's got a cane that's true he could probably give Bruce Wayne a good couple of whacks on the shin

definitely but again it's man versus duck it is man versus duck and man always wins so true man's the most dangerous duck of all

in a way in a way right now I think this might become a staple of the series or maybe it's just this one time where we include

a duck character oh yes sure it's from Stanley sorry Stephen Stanky how about duck wing duck

versus Howard the Duck? A true duck off. Last time we had Scrooge McDuck versus Bruce Wayne. That's right. So, Duckwing Duck, who's like the Disney equivalent of Batman. Correct. Versus Howard the Duck, who's the Marvel equivalent of something that George Lucas ruined. Correct, yes.

Well, which version of... What's the prime version of Howard the Duck? Comic book Howard the Duck. Not Guardians? We don't know, do we? We don't know anything about him. Isn't he real wily? Comic book version?

He's real wily. Yeah. Is he a murderer? Yeah. Well, that's a good question, actually. What are you killing? Can Duck kill Duck? Is the question, I guess.

Like, he'd kill somebody if threatened, and he's probably got a gun on him, to be fair. Yeah, yeah. Well, he's a detective, right? Yeah. Private detective? Sometimes. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't know that much about him, if I'm honest. Let's do some research. I know that terrible movie. Look, he knows Quack Fu. Yeah. Which is the Duck version of Kung Fu. But Darkwing Duck is also very adept at martial arts.

Is he? He's not Batman, but he's pretty good for that universe. I feel he's not comically inept. No, he's inept, but he's not like... But he's the most competent kind of superhero you could get in that universe. I guess that's true. What about Gizmoduck? Gizmoduck's an idiot.

Yeah, that's true. Gizmoduck is a idiot. I love Gizmoduck. That was a test. You passed the test? Gizmoduck's an idiot. Yeah, that's true. Gizmoduck is a idiot. I love Gizmoduck. That was a test. You passed the test. Gizmoduck's just stumbling around into shit. I love the Gizmoduck design, though. I think it's really cool.

Not knowing anything about Howard the Duck. He's always getting out of a scrape. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Is he strong? No, no stronger than a regular human duck. Man. Funny animal man. Well, that doesn't tell me anything.

No, it's true, right? Hang on, here we go. Well, it says here, Howard the Duck has shown some degree of mystic talent in the past to the point that Stephen Strange taught some spells to Howard and even offered to train him, but Howard declined. Well, that's it, isn't it? So it might have the bolts of bedevilment.

Yeah. If he's got even one magic thing, that's over. Well, what's Darkwing Duck got? He's got like a grappling gun. Grappling gun, yep. Smoke pellets. Uh-huh. This is what we need.

It's a duck blur. That's what we need to call in. Michael, Sarah, if you're listening to this. Help. Help. I'm going to give it to Hell in the Dark. Okay. All right.

Yeah. All right, fine. But not the movie version. No. Because he's just a weird man in a little duck suit. It's terrifying. All right. I think that's it.

We'll definitely come back to this. Yeah, we'll come back. I've got more to go. So next time. Do you want to do any more? Like a quick one or leave it there? Captain Phasma versus Boba Fett. This is from Michael Pacholic on Twitter.

Who's the crappiest character? Who's the crappiest character? Who? I guess it's, I guess Phasma's better because she gets thrown into a trash compactor and we assume she escapes. Yes. But also a lot of people assume that Boba Fett escapes. That's true. He's definitely coming back.

Canon we don't know. Canon we don't know. But also we don't know. No, we know Gwendolyn Christie is back for the next Star Wars. That's true, yeah. We know that for a fact. But I'd imagine that they're going to bring Boba Fett back. Yeah.

Like, they can't not. They can't leave him in the embarrassing situation they left him in in Return of the Jedi. But in a fight. Boba Fett's got, well, you know what? Boba Fett can't fall into any pits. That's true. So maybe that's his one.

He could fly into the side of the goalpost and break his own neck. That's true. But, okay, we'd have to factor in the new canon for Boba Fett, where he's very competent in the comics. Or do you just want to go the movie version? This says- Then he's shit.

As presented in current canon, but then he says, so just episode five to seven. Right. Yeah. What does Phasma do? We never see her do anything. No. She makes you take some orders. People fear her.

I feel like she got to that position because she's probably good at it sure and i think she gave up the plans that she shut down the machine the death that's not the death star the star killer because she was like you don't have a chance at this so it doesn't matter right okay but you also have the theory that boba fett fumbled his way to the top yes i do that's true yeah like that it's just the cool outfit it's like a tough guy at school who's just big but because nobody's ever challenged him correct yeah and maybe there's a little mouse droid that follows him around he's like the inspector gadget but there's a little mouse droid follows him around and fixes everything

and like and like you know he bumps over the the bounty the nursery is trying to track down and then boba fett just shows up and then the chief's like, you've done it again, Boba Fett. And he's like, I sure did. I'm the best. I bloody did it. Also, Darth Vader warns Boba Fett,

he's like, no disintegrations. Yeah. Which says to me that Boba Fett disintegrated somebody either accidentally or on purpose in the past. And he shouldn't have done it. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I guess so maybe vader wasn't clear sure yeah it was like can you bring me this guy and he just brings him like a pile of ash and he's like dude come on you're better than this yeah but i still think it's phasma okay it's probably a better shot as well all right okay i

don't think we see boba fett fire his gun or his rifle, blaster rifle. I'm sorry, everybody. I'm trying to think. I think he raises it a few times, but we never see him shoot it. Yeah.

But then again, we never see Phasma do it either. We never see Phasma do anything besides get thrown into a trap. You know what? They both fall over. I don't know. Are you saying- Boba Fett flies into the side of the golf course,

breaks his own neck. I don't know. Boba Fett flies into the side of the golf course, breaks his own neck. I don't know. I feel, yeah, and then Phasma leans over to see what's going on and is incinerated by his flamethrower. It's just, like, he hits a switch. He's like, what's that do I want? Incinerated by the flamethrower. Done.

Awesome. We look forward to seeing what they do next in their movies. All right. You know what it's time for then? Oh, it's time for our famous segment. Mason, normally we jump straight into the what we're reading, what we're forward to seeing what they do next in their movies. All right. You know what it's time for then? Oh, it's time for our famous segment. Mason, normally we jump straight into the what we're reading, what we're going to read. But because it's the end of the year and a lot of people do enjoy this segment,

I like to bust it out every now and then. It's time for hate mail. Ah, it's back. But the hate has an eight in it. Nice. Where we traditionally read eight bits of hate mail. There's always more than eight. There's always more or less.

It's never eight. It's never eight. That's the only thing that we know for sure. Now, I put a whole lot of original Ghostbusters Easter eggs in my video. I don't know if you watched it. It's going to be like, oh, this will be a fun little thing. And I put like, I put Harold Ramis's name. Oh, that's what I forgot.

That's his cameo in the movie. He's the gold bust. Yeah. And I put like the Ghostbusters 2 logo on the new Ecto-1. On the side of the Ecto-1, yep. And a bunch of stuff, like a little Venkman action figure and stuff like that. And I got this one from The Ultimate Reductionist. Oh boy, that's a good start. Why is the ghost in Ghostbusters logo holding two fingers to suggest this is Ghostbusters 2,

when in fact it's Ghostbusters 3? Question mark? And if they wish to ignore the previous two movies because this is a remake slash reboot, then why is it the ghost holding up the one finger to indicate this is ghostbusters one he should be holding up one finger to the audience he asked me this is from rodimus prime that's great though also because he he assumed you didn't do that yes your photoshop was so good yeah that's that's a credit to me at all yeah some rodimus prime why the fuck is the ghost doing number two with his fingers on the logo? That shit makes no sense.

All caps. And then why in the fuck, all caps, is there Venkman, figure, all caps, on Thor's goddamn desk? What? This is, this is...

Oh, I also, now that you mention it, I also screenshoted some stuff. Fantastic. This isn't technically hate mail, but this is from Joe Brzezanski he's under your under your video here

it says Paul Feig is an Illuminati rectum slave I don't know what that means but it's great sure it means something to somebody this

these this is four comments from the same guy on my worst Transformers top worst Transformers video that I did like three years ago. Oh, great.

Are these new? I think they're new-ish because when I go to my dashboard, it shows like the latest five. I saw one of these and I'm like, oh, interesting. And I went there and I'm like, oh, there's more than one? Great. So the first one is... So this guy was just Googling for some Transformers vids.

This is Sadik Ben. And he says, first one is, quit rambling, man. And the next one says, and what's wrong with Computron? Which is a famous-ish Transformer. He is a combiner, I believe. He is, he is, yeah. And he computes. He's like, angle of attack, 45 degrees.

He says the things. Is he the rescue bot? No, I don't know if he is. Couldn't tell you. All right, good. But sure, yes, he is. But he calculates and then says out loud what he's going to do before he does it

so I'm like that's dumb what a dumb thing to do and he says what's wrong with Computron you don't know Technobots Technobots

that makes sense one of them's probably the Periscope guy how dare you what's he called the Microscope guy that's Perceptor yeah

no he's his own man alright yeah well he's a sniper now isn't he? That bloke. Like, he got cool. Potentially. He does have a laser in that microscope.

He certainly does. Okay. Probably. And what's wrong with Computron? You don't know nothing, kids these days. Also, this is an adult man. I should say. Presumably older than you.

Well, he thinks he is. And dissing Megatron, picking on Soundwave, WTF. Don't pick on Soundwave. Well, he turned it into a boombox. I like that he's got little Transformers that come out of him like a laser beam. Yeah, but don't pick on Soundwave. Oh, you're right. Sorry. He's not here to defend himself.

Because he's fictional. Yeah. Yeah. You must have grown up in the era and in this era and watched Michael Bayformers and Transformers Animated. You know nothing about Transformers. Do us a favor and delete this channel, please. That's very good.

There's one more. No, that's okay. Yeah, go ahead. I got a bad Transformer for you. Your channel, because it sucks. Your channel doesn't transform into anything. This guy's good, though. He's good.

No, that's... Oh, that's excellent on so many levels. That is a bad transformer for you. This is from Cameron Blakely. And this is on... Because, you know, now I post the podcast to YouTube, which I do because a lot of people say, can you put it on YouTube?

So I do. Also, it helps when I'm selling ad spots because it just bumps the numbers up. So that's probably the main reason. Look at this bloke. Look at this bean can. Look at this money machine over here. I've been against ads from the start.

That's not true. That's not true. Cameron Blakely. This is on the podcast video. Sounds like a fake name, but all right. Real guy. Real face. Real human face on there.

Because, you know, normally I always just do a still image. I started experimenting with putting different images of the topics we're talking about, but it just took too long. So I thought... You don't have time to bloody swim in your money bin. That's exactly right. Dirty dog. Are they serious? Ten minutes of nothing, not watching it.

I suggest you guys unsubscribe to these fucktards. These guys are really... I'm enjoying them, but these guys are really adamant. They're not just like, I'm not going to listen to this. This isn't for me, no thank you. This isn't for me. It's delete your channel. Hey, everyone, rally up a crew and get them all to unsubscribe.

We should get these guys together. Yeah. We should get these guys together for their own podcast. Oh, that'd be great. And they just listen to our podcast and hate it for an hour. This is from kevin uh wheeler wheeler the movie is complete shit get behind whatever your opinion is and stick with it don't give an opinion based on your channel and views this review is lame af be who you are if you like something you say you fucking like it and enjoy it this goes on a bit if you didn't like something get balls and say you fucking like it and enjoy it. This goes on a bit.

If you didn't like something, get balls and say it was trash. It's simple. Being indifferent is the worst. And robot cop, WTF? It's robot cop dipshit. And if the cast likes working together, does that mean a movie or show will be good? Fuck no. I actually agree with that.

In the past, there have been great movies where some of the cast hated each other idk how you review this movie to tbh you sound like you don't have a fucking clue at all i've said that's actually me i want to be clear that's me commenting on yeah people are really mad that i i don't love or hate it. Right, yeah. And again, you wish it were better or worse. You know what? If I'd have come out and said, this is terrible and this is why and this, this and this, if I wanted to get a lot of reviews and likes or whatever,

that's what I would have done. Yeah, right. Because to come out and go like, like that's not fun to do or to watch. You know what I mean? I don't want to do that. I want to have a story for you. It's fun to destroy a thing. Yeah? You know what I mean? I don't want to do that. I want to have a story for you. It's fun to destroy a thing. Yeah.

You know what? The other day, I literally reminisced about that time we went and saw Entourage, and it was so bad. Oh, it was great. Oh, what a great time we had about that movie that was so terrible. That had no redeeming features in it. We should probably do more of that, because I really enjoy that. This is about how we were talking about Tarkin.

Oh, yeah. And how we didn't love the CGI Tarkin. You know, here's the irony against Star Wars fans like yourselves. Not a Star Wars fan, but continue. You complain about everything. Me? I liked Tarkin. And Leia? Hell, I was hoping for Leia. And you're hating on them, but loving Vader?

Little do you know that inside that suit was a man you hate. Think about it, then come back to me. Oh, that guy's so woke. Get his email address. We'll get back to him. We can do it now. Yeah. Do you feel he was delivering that straddling a chair backwards,

wearing a pair of Ray-Bans? I feel he was. Man, he sure showed us. Is he saying like Darth Vader's a villain and we're liking him, but he's a bad guy? No, I think he's saying that inside him is Hayden Christensen. But he's not.

I don't care who played him in a previous movie. It's irrelevant. Anyway, I thought about it. Pretty good. And I'm not going to get back to him. All right, fine. This is from Depressing Frequencies.

This review is shit. The movie was practically perfect. Best superhero movie of all time. By far. That's all caps. Yeah. I'm a Marvel fan, but DC fucking bought it with BVS. Shits on every single Marvel movie.

Unbelievable performances from the entire cast, especially Affleck and Eisenberg. Holy fuck. Deserves Oscars. Wow. Maybe Oscar the Grouch. Into the bin, mate. Got him. You're entitled to your opinion yeah but that's way off that's way off and wrong maybe you've got a brain problem in your brain last one this is a comic 24 slash 7 comics

space slash 24 7 you're a fucking piece of spilling fucking shit, you motherfucker. Yay! I think he means spoiling. Oh, okay. Because I did say, spoiler alert, don't listen. Yeah, and there's a sign on it that says don't listen. And then people still listen where I said, and it doesn't even spoil the plot where Superman kills a guy,

which he does. I stand by that. But people are still like, you people are mad about this there were actually there was an article that went all throughout the internet yeah and it said zach snyder on why batman breaks his number one rule or something like that yeah you know because and and people even if you didn't read the article if you're a fan of batman you go oh killing he's exactly i'm mad there's a spoiler i'm mad at the article i'm mad at all this yeah but i article if you're a fan of batman you go oh killing he's exactly i'm mad there's a spoiler i'm mad at the article i'm mad at all this yeah but i think if you're a fan of batman like if batman's your number one guy yeah good good that this was spoiled for you so you can know not to see it yeah sure if that's if that's important to you

that being said this is still going to make a billion dollars yeah i know probably disappointing it's going to be like the Transformers effect. Yeah. Oh, yeah. True. Look, if it pays for some good movies, I guess I'm okay with that. Sure. But you've got one more left, DC,

and then... Reboot! Reboot. Look, if you don't make one more good one, I'll be real mad, and I'll say I'm not going to see any more until the next one, and then I'll keep saying them because I have to.

Sorry. I had to stretch back because all the tension and anger is in my neck. It's all the umbrage. It is, I think. It builds up in your neck and you get gout. Let's go on to happier things, yeah? Yeah, let's do it. This has been a rollercoaster of an episode, Mason.

Hasn't it though? Yeah. You know what it's time for? What's it time for? What we reading. What are we going to read? You could have at least done it. You could have matched my energy.

All right. That's not what we're about. I'm doing the thing. What are we reading today? Mason, what are you wearing? Just out of curiosity. Just a pair of jeans. And for advertising.

It's just a shirt, like a button-up shirt. Okay, interesting. Yeah, it's like a flannel shirt. Not Mack Weldon, which is better, whatever crap you're wearing right now. Your garbage clothes. Oh, no. You're like a garbage man. I don't mean like a man who collects garbage bins.

You trapped me here. You trapped me. Yeah. I mean like a man who dresses in garbage. That's what you look like. Oh, that's a bad You trapped me here. You trapped me. Yeah. I mean like a man who dresses in garbage. That's what you look like. Oh, that's a bad outcome for me here. I've fallen right into this trap. I feel real bad now.

Is there any way for me to not feel so profoundly terrible about the way I dress and look? Well, Mason, if you believe in smart design, premium fabrics, and simple shopping. Well, clearly I don't based on what I'm wearing right now. According to you, you son of a bitch. But if your mind frame was to shift oh yeah in that direction great which mine has all of mac weldon's products are naturally antimicrobial and there's very which means they eliminate odor i still haven't got that word right what is it i would like to see i would like to hear a supercut if somebody can build build it. Anti-microbial. One day you'll get it.

I got it. You didn't though. Anti-microbial. I just want to be very clear. If he tries to change this in the edit, he didn't get it. He stumbled at the start. It's not a difficult word. I don't want you to be comfortable, the people at Mack Weldon.

So if you don't like the first pair, guess what, Mason? What's that? You can bloody keep them and get a refund. They don't want your used underwear back. Not that they'd smell anyway because of all the antimicrobials. Yeah. You know what I'm saying, don't you? All the reverse microbes. Exactly.

And the thing is, if you order your first pair and you're not happy with it, you can keep it and they'll refund your money. They don't want it back. They don't want it back, even though they could because it's antimicrobial. Yeah. And that's important. Antinaturally antimicrobial. He did it that's important. Anti-naturally antimicrobial. He did it. Clothing.

You had to run into it though there. I did. Yes. You needed some supporting words before you said it. It was like when your dad's holding the back of your bike when you're learning to ride. You're like, I don't know about this. I fell off so many times.

And then you turn around and you go, I'm doing it, Dad. I'm doing it. And you turn around and he's not there anymore. And you never see him again. Yeah. Oh, boy. These t-shirts, Mason, they don't have that weird smell that t-shirts sometimes get.

The smell of us. The smell of us in particular. But they've got a bunch of stuff. That's my autobiography, by the way. It's going to be called The Smell of Us. The Smell of Us. Is it me and you on the cover? Yeah.

Yeah. You're the smell. I'm holding up my arm and there's like a green stink cloud coming out and your face is on it. And I'm giving the thumbs up and the smell is also giving the thumbs up. Who have naturally antimicrobial...

Oh, smooth as silk. He said it. Antimicrobial... Oh, smooth as silk. He said it. Antimicrobial. Oh, yeah, okay. Because they're naturally antimicrobial. He did it, everyone. Is that right? All of those things, yeah.

Yeah, that's right. Again, look at me. Not last week, but this week. Last week, garbage person. There's no continuity here between... We established the reality within the advertisement space. Correct. That is what we do.

Last week, I was a man made of garbage. Now I'm a crisp man made out of gold. Antimicrobial gold. Behold me. And despair for you will never be as beautiful as me. Next week, who knows? Things have really taken a turn, haven't they? Next week, I'll be made of custard or something.

Oh, my God. Yeah. what are you reading tell me what i'm reading this week i'm watching a show uh called fresh meat okay it's a it's a british sitcom boo no i'm just joking you love keeping up appearances fuck you no i don't wow that was that was visceral because you have to watch it with your mom as a child. Pretty much. Well, actually, the other day, my brother, the one you like. Yeah, great. He goes, hey, check this out. And he sent me a thing, like a link. A weird prank.

And it was the theme to Keeping Up Appearances. But I didn't tell him that he got me. I'm like, I can't check it right now. But no, he did get me, you bastard. Because I know you listen to this. Yeah, wow, okay. Anyway, go on. You watched Keeping Up Appearances no I didn't

your dog's just thinking about life yeah that's alright she's thinking about instances of regret in her life like when she barked at that incredibly old man yeah he's still there no he's not still there no he is he's just fallen

you can't see him so if you want to hit us up best place to do it is at Twitter hashtag at weekly planet pod shoot us a Twitter, hashtag at Weekly Planet Pod. Shoot us a question. Not hashtag at Weekly Planet Pod. No, just hashtag Weekly Planet Pod. That's what I meant to say.

Thanks for correcting me, Mason, even though I appreciate it. No problem. Jerk. So, yeah. Also, Mason, I'm going to recommend a podcast as well, which we're big fans of. Oh, yeah, absolutely, yeah. It's called Filthy Casuals.

And if you like video games but you hate people who play every video game and know a lot about video games you know what okay you know what i'll equate it to the way that we like movies and comics but we just we kind of like it but they're pretty great but we don't know everything about them and we're just a couple of regular dudes just like you that's right. It's that with video games. Great. It's got three of your good friends. Do you want to name them?

Ben Bonnell, Tommy Dasolo, Adam Knox. Do you want to name them in the order you like them and you have? Very good. Perfect. Who cares? Who cares that I'm here, James? That's what I was going to say. We're here every week.

I mean, I'm here every week. You've been here every week except for two weeks. Except for two, that's right. I've been here every week. So who cares that me, Nick Mason, the internet's best mate. I'm trying that out. I'm trying that out. Who cares I'm here?

Because we've got a guest this week. First guest ever. Yeah. Unless you've been the guest so far, I guess. Does that count? No, I guess I'd be the guest because I've missed two, like you said. Anyway, sorry. You were introducing.

Oh, okay. Yes. Okay. What we've got here, we've got a kind and knowledgeable boy. We have, he's 25% of sketch comedy group Chimp Cop. He's 33 and a third percent of video game podcast Filthy Casuals. It's the one percenter himself. It's Mr. Ben Vanow.

Welcome to the show, Ben Vanow. Thanks, guys. I like to think I'm a little bit more than 33% of Filthy Casuals. Oh, no. I think I do a bit of heavy lifting, to be honest. Oh, you're the James of your podcast. Is that right? What does that mean?

I'll take it as a compliment and continue on. It's good to have differing opinions. That's one reason we're getting more people on as well. So it's not just me and Mason just going, saying the same things that we always say forever. Yeah. Is that right? Is that what we're doing?

It's a living nightmare. It sure is, isn't it? Yeah. Anyway, speaking of female protagonists, brunette female protagonists, which are all Star Wars movies, we did Attack of the Clones commentary as well. This is uncomfortable.

I don't like this. Yeah. What were they doing with their hands? So they can't get married because he's a Jedi and they can't allow to get married. Is there a package here? Yep. I'm going to continue doing this. Okay. I'm holding the fort. Don't you worry about this. Dog, come here. We have dog. We have

dog. Dog, come here. We have movie commentary to do. You're going to be fine. Nobody's going to be killed by the delivery man. It's okay, dog. It's the delivery guy that my dog hates. Great. I've got some loot crates. Loot crates. Hooray. This isn't sponsored by loot crates. No, but this is the...

They're about... Oh, the perfect antidote to a terrible film. Just a stack of loot crates. That's there already. Are you a fan of the Star Wars prequels? Yeah, love them. No. No, no, no.

And I've just been listening through your Phantom Menace commentary. Oh, right. Okay. And bloody loving it, so everyone get on board. He's just an innocent young man. You don't know what you want to do. I would have liked to see maybe a deleted scene later. He's up on the ship.

They've gone out of orbit. They're out of orbit for like five minutes. He's like, I want to go home now yeah I don't want to be a Jedi yeah I want to be a fire truck you can't

Anakin you can't be a fire truck oh god yeah do you mean you want to be a firefighter no I want to be a fire truck oh come on mate what have we done

yeah pretty good well look I hope you've got that theme song ready I don't. Hang on. Every week, mate. Just once, I'd like you to, you know. I did last week.

Okay, I got it. I don't want to be here for a second longer than I have to be. Wait, hang on. Wait, no, wait, wait, wait, wait. Oh, God. Okay, we're ready. I'm ready. I've been ready for a while

what was that you just knocked something off the couch I spilled my water oh you fucking idiot anyway it's a letter segment you can email. Anyway, it's the latest segment. You can email us, weeklyplanetpod at gmail.com, or you can hit us up, hashtag weeklyplanetpod, the weekly planet, whatever you want.

We'll find them. Yeah, we'll bloody find it. Got some letters here, Mason. I think they're all DC related. Oh, love DC. Is it about DC memes? I love DC memes on Instagram. We haven't talked about DC memes.

We haven't talked about DC memes, but I love them. Go on Instagram, search hashtag DC meme. Boy, there's just some great memes on there. Do you want to just break down what they generally are? Generally, they're not pithy. No. They're just- Long-winded.

They're very long-winded. They're usually Marvel versus DCc man yeah yeah and and it's a very long elaborate like series of panels it's it's a sort of a text it's a bloody yeah it's there's a lot of text it's like a manifesto yeah about why dc movies are better than marvel movies right there'll be some oh they're so good and it normally ends with Ben Affleck telling Robert Downey Jr. that he's Batman. Yeah, they're so good.

Yeah, you text me during the week. Look, sometimes if I have to text you about something and I'm like, this text isn't very interesting. It's lacking punch.

It's lacking punch. I'll send you a decent email when I've found it. They're so good. I can read one out if you want. Please do. Because you've sent me quite a few. Good.

Do you know I've got you in my phone as Jason just because I think it's funny. That's. Please do. Because you've sent me quite a few. Good. Do you know I've got you in my phone as Jason? Just because I think it's funny. That's quite all right. That's okay. I'm honoured. Okay, that's not a good one. I mean, they're all not good ones.

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Okay, so this one, this is the one that makes the most sense. Right. It's a picture of Iron Man and Captain America. And it says, wear masks, everyone knows them. Everyone know them. Everyone know them. Know them, sorry.

I just self-corrected that in my head. And then it's got Superman and Wonder Woman. It says, don't wear masks. No one know them. This one, it's a picture of the Joker. Yeah. The Jared Leto Joker. It says, was in SS, Suicide Squad, for 11 minutes.

Already more terrifying than these guys. And then below it, it's got Loki, Ultron, Whiplash, whatever the bad guy was in Thor The Dark World, Red Skull, Ronan the Accuser, Baron Zemo, and... Mandarin. Yeah, Ben Kingsley's Mandarin. Yeah. Disagree. Also, really complicated.

It's so complicated. You have to know who all those characters are. I was struggling. Anyway, I bloody love them. Well, you just said the guy from Thor The Dark World. Yeah, I disagree. Also, really complicated. They're so complicated. You have to know who all those characters are. I was struggling. Anyway, I bloody love them. Well, you just said the guy from Thor The Dark World. Yeah, I did. Christopher Eccleston, who you mentioned before, but you still couldn't think of it.

Yeah, all right. Good stuff. All right, Mason. Anyway, I love those memes. I love them. Keep them going. And again, you don't have to pick a side. No.

Just like movies that are good. Just like both. It's fine. Just like whatever you want. It's fine. Thanks to everybody who's been sending in memes for me. Yeah, DC memes. Superhero DC memes.

I just love memes so much, James. I just love them. I know you do. If you want to send me a... Find a good DC Marvel meme. I love them. A nonsensical rambling. Nonsensical.

The longer they get... I sent this one to you this week. Yeah. It's a picture of... It's a picture of Batman. This is from Batman v Superman. It's Batman. He's standing over a defeated Superman.

He's got the boot on the neck. Top line, it says, When Batman won... And then it says, But Batman never even used laser vision or flew. Slightly smaller font. When you completely ignore the kryptonite that Batman had on his hand... This guy actually edited the kryptonite's pee out of this

to make a useless argument. What? That's exactly, that's my favorite meme. Because there's too much text. It's been weirdly edited. It's on top of another meme? It's on top of another meme, presumably. He's clearly having an argument with somebody about something.

I love it. The less pithy, the better. If you find the worst meme you can find, send it to me. And it could be Eddie. It could be a... Because there's some bad Marvel ones as well. Just send me the memes. Make a segment about it.

Yeah, yeah. I love it. Oh, that's amazing. You know how many comments there are in my YouTube videos of people yelling at me that I don't understand the Martha scene? Like, I get it. Yeah. Like, I get it. Yeah. Like, I understand it.

I just think it's stupid. Like, there's a lot of people just like, well, you know, because the reason is because of the humanity. Because it's revealing that Batman's understood.

I'm like, no, I know. Yeah. I understand. Yeah. I get it. Anyway. Okay. This is from Dempsey Tapley.

Dempsey Tapley. Ask Dempsey Tapley. Are you guys going to talk about Poke Mongo? Oh, Poke Mongo. Look, I think it's a cruel circus freak show. And look, I know people are lining up around the block and they're tweeting about it. And look, I just don't think you should Poke Mongo.

You know? Because he's lived a hard life. He's a little different. He's a little different. He's a little different. And people are just like, yeah, man, I'm loving it. Going back for seconds. Poke Mongo. We've got this question a few times on Twitter.

Hashtag Weekly Planet Pod. This is from Crack at Cracks Moss. If you could see one movie this year, what would it be? Only one. One. Oh. Only one. You can start it for five what would it be? Only one. One. Oh. Only one. You can start it for five minutes and then choose a different one as well.

Like it's on Netflix. Oh, really? Yeah. That's very good. Ah. This is quite tough, actually. It is. Give me yours first.

I have to say Rogue One. Yeah, okay. And I want to say Suicide Squad. Yeah. Oh, there's so many. But I'd have to because it's just nostalgia, man. It's got me. And not even that.

I want to see a different Star Wars story. That's true, yeah. This is that, hopefully. So, yeah, Rogue One. Sausage Party it is. If you can't decide in five seconds, it's Sausage Party it is. Yes. If you can't decide in five seconds, it's Sausage Party. So sorry.

Magnificent Seven. No. Yeah. All right then. Twist. Okay. Twist. Something you've never heard of before today.

Denzel Washington. He's great. Never seen anything from it. Yep. That's right. Yep. We should look up who the director is of that actually, because that might change your tone. Like good or bad.

Anton Fuqua. Oh, Anton Fuqua. That's good, because he's done Southpaw, Training Day, The Equalizer, Olympus Has Fallen. Wait a minute. Yeah, he's done some pretty... Oh, he did Shooter.

He did King Arthur. He did Tears of the Sun with Bruce Willis. Okay, I'm saying Civil War. I've changed my mind. Civil War. He's got some good stuff here, but... Yeah. Yeah, not Civil War again.

I don't know, man. Man, that is hard to choose, though. It is. It's going to be a bloody great year. I mean, who knows? We'll see, won't we? Could be a bad year. Could be a bad year. Could be a bad year.

Man, we are burning through these, Mason. I don't know if you like that. Third one. This is from James. Just got my first job. This is a personal question, Mason, if you don't mind. That's on my family business at the local pizza shop. Mama mia.

Do you guys have any first job stories? Oh. Dogs on the couch coming in for the kill. Look out. That's right. any first job stories? Oh. Dogs on the couch coming in for the kill. Look out. She's bad news, mate. Dangerous dog. Yeah. I don't know.

What was my... She threw up in here last night, just so you know. Great. During... I don't know. When I did work experience, because in Australia, when you're in... What year are you in when you do work experience? I worked in a bookshop and everybody was like... Nerd everyone was like nerd no everybody was like no i was like

one guy was like what are you what are you like a collins like a big it was a collins yeah like a big that doesn't even exist i don't think i exist yeah but i went people like what are you doing and i'm like one guy was like what are you doing and i'm like i'm just gonna work at the bookshop and he's like huh retail and i'm'm like, that hurts my feelings. Who said that? Some guy. It's work experience. It's not like a real, it doesn't count.

He's probably a high-flying businessman now. I bet he is. Let's find him and kill him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I did my work experience at a supermarket. Not with the intention of working in a supermarket. I did it because I heard they pay $20 a day. And I'm like, well, if I'm going to do it, I want some money for it.

As opposed to if you go to like, I'm going to work at an office or follow a police officer. They give you nothing. So I'm like, I'll just at least get some money for it. And I never looked back, Mason. I took that money and I invested in podcasting. Now you own a supermarket. Correct. But one of my first jobs.

You stocked with podcasts. Yes. One of my first jobs was actually a bookstore. Oh, yeah. It was a school bookstore. Yep. You probably know it. I probably won't put that in.

It's fine. Yeah. What are they going to do, sue you? No, it's fine. Did you steal things? No, I didn't steal anything, actually. I'm not that guy. One time I stayed at the back of this and I just read Leonard Nimoy's biography.

What about bookstore? When were you there? Oh no. At the Collins. Oh, the Collins. Right. Well, that's what, cause I used to work there over the summer. So I'd work there full time, like during school and then a little bit into uni.

So like I, you know, I'd catch the train and I'd slog away at this job. And it wasn't like talking to customers and selling books. It was like at the back, 15 pallets of school books would roll in and then you'd have to sort them in the sun and so what my thing that i enjoyed the most about that was i built a fort out the back that just looked like a wall it was in one of the rooms it was just like a wall of boxes but there was a little little doorway at the to the side that you couldn't see if you looked in the room and then in there was a throne that i'd made and i used to sit there just eat icy poles when i needed a break i'm like man it's hard work doing whatever this job is yeah man so yeah that that was the job that i did that i kind of loved

and hated yeah because i like the people and i remember the time you know when you got the boss i'm like man what's this guy's problem well he's such a square because he's running a business he's a man running a business and he has to deal with teenagers but sometimes he is kind of a square he was all right one time he caught me lying on the floor and the reason that happened because you remember stew you know stew yeah uh he he left of the room and i thought he left of the room he left of the room in the pizza parlor it was and i was climbing up on the shelf but he's like i wouldn't be funny if you fell and you died and i'm like that would be funny huh and he left and then i heard him a shelf and he's like, wouldn't it be funny if you fell and you died? And I'm like, that would be funny. And he left.

And then I heard him coming back and I'm like, I'll line the floor and pretend I'm dead. And then the boss walked in and I'm lying on the floor. And he goes, oh, James, don't get up. And I'm like, oh, and then he just left. So I didn't have a chance to explain. He still thinks you're a shiftless layabout. He definitely does.

Yeah, he definitely does. But good on him. He's a good bloke. I used to work at an op shop. And one of the rules of the op shop does. Yeah, he definitely does. But good on him. He's a good bloke. I used to work at a, I used to work at an op shop and one of the rules of the op shop was Like a thrift store.

Yeah, yeah, kind of thing. And one of the rules But a big one. It's like Kmart for a bloody thrift store. I used to work at one and one of the rules was that you couldn't,

you couldn't, if you bought a book or a CD or a DVD or something, you couldn't return it. This was one of the rules for a while. Because they'd like

scratch it or whatever. Well, people would just copy the CD for a while. Because they'd like scratch it or whatever. Well, people would just copy the CD or read the book and they'd just bring it back and swap it for another one, right? It's not a library, is it? And then one day a woman comes in and she's got like, she's got a huge stack of cookbooks. She's got like a huge, she just bought there. Yeah.

And she's like, I want to return these cookbooks. And the cookbooks are the worst because what people would do is they would just buy them, rip out the recipes they wanted and then just bring the rest of the books back. Oh, what is wrong with me? I know, right? But then one time, so this woman comes in and she's like, I'm going to return all these cookbooks.

And I'm like, I'm sorry, the policy is that we can't exchange any, like I'd like to help, we can't exchange any books that you buy. And she's like, oh, well, it'd be bloody nice, straight away. She's like, on the attack, I mean, well, it'd be bloody nice if there was's like on the attack would it be bloody nice if there was some sort of sign that said that and I'm like if you look over at the book section

there's a sign there's a sign on every shelf that says that in fact in the cookbook section there's two signs that say you can't return and she's like well

like straight away because they don't they just keep they're still in fight mode she's like well that doesn't seem particularly fair for people who can't read

and I'm like and it's very rare in retail that you get like a win. And I'm like, so I really savored it. And I'm like, we find, generally speaking, that our customers who purchase books can read. And then you paused for applause. Yeah, I did, yeah. Everyone applauded.

You know those, everybody's got a fake story? You know those people who have fake stories and they will end with and then everyone applauded yeah nobody applauded there's so few wins there is yeah so good luck good luck pizza pal yeah you're gonna be out there i'm because i remember when you used to work there you used to have like a story every time i'd see you but then as it went on it kind of petered off because i think you just got used to it. You're like, yeah, a naked guy came in in a shopping trolley covered in grease. You know what I mean?

And it would just be, yeah, you just kind of got used to it. Yeah. Good stuff. Oh, yeah, that's right. One time a guy, I saw a trail of blood from the pub to my place of business. There was a pub like diagonal across the road, wasn't there? Yeah.

And what was it? I think a guy just came in asking for bandages and they were like, we don't have any. And he was like, oh, okay. And then the blood just tracked all its way out the other door. So. And then stopped at a gutter. Yeah, I don't know what happened to that guy. Yeah, great.

Anyway, maybe we'll tell more tales. Oh. Up shop tales another week. Sure. Good stuff. Absolutely. When it's bad, it's bad. When it's good, it's great. Isn't that right, dog? You're right, dog. UpShopTales another week. Sure. Good stuff. Absolutely. When it's bad, it's bad. When it's good, it's great.

Isn't that right, dog? You're right, dog. Up you get. You're right. On the couch. That's a special treat for her. Yeah. Bloody loves it, mate.

But she's scared of that old man, so that's good. She's doing good work. You do know how to pat a dog? No, it's hitting it like a drum. First time. If Star Wars was real and you had to join in, how do you think you'd fare and what side would you be on? Cheers, big ears.

You're talking to Adam Driver there. Got him. Got him. I know you've got your zombie apocalypse character, which you've well thought of. So if there were an actual zombie apocalypse, I know for a fact I would be the guy. We're all running for the car.

I get to the car first because I'm quite quick on my feet. I lock all the doors. I go to start. And everybody's like, no, let us in the car. And I'm like, it's every man for himself. And then I try and I'm starting the car and it's not quite starting yet. And then it turns out there's a zombie in the backseat

and it kills me. What's the equivalent of that in the Star Wars universe? See, I don't think, I don't know if I'd be that guy in the Star Wars universe. Because you've equivalent of that in the Star Wars universe? See, I don't think, I don't know if I'd be that guy in the Star Wars universe because you've got more options in the Star Wars universe. Sure. I've thought about this. Yes.

I would be the guy. I'd be a pilot. Yes. Not the best pilot. I'd barely, I'd be like, you're the guy who used to fuel the ships, but a lot of people have died. Yeah.

You know how to do this, right? And I'd be like, yes, yeah, okay. Okay. And then we'd fly into whatever we're attacking and I'd go in too quick and they'd be like, you're going in too hot. And I'd be like, ah! And I'd smash into the side of whatever it was and I'd be the first guy out.

Nice. That's what I would be. I've made my decision. I would be Luke Skywalker. No take backs. Next question. Or is that the last question? The last question.

Okay, good. Well, Mason, I can't believe all those good memories that we shared with each other. And as luck would have it just in time we found the exit are you ready to get out there and battle some bloody terrorists or aliens or possibly some cannibalistic humanoid underground dwellers almost certainly but we'll have to be back by the 16th of january because that's when the podcast returns isn't it yep as long as it coincides with that i'm probably that's a couple of weeks I'll probably have time fantastic

anyway we we did it with memories and adventure and such thank you Raw Collings for putting together the clip show much appreciated

we love those memories I loved them all regardless of how dumb I sounded in some or all of them and I'm sorry that last time it was the best of

for like of all episodes but now it's only best of for 2016 so the pool's a bit smaller isn't it? Yeah. It's not going to be as good.

And also, you know, we had to put an ad in this one because we committed to an ad spot. We didn't have an episode. So apologies for that. Happy holidays and happy new year, everybody. Happy fun time. See you soon. Grab that jam, you guys. Bye.