The Weekly Planet - Godzilla 1998 (Still Terrible) - Caravan Of Garbage

Episode Date: May 29, 2019

Whilst not every single shot and moment in Godzilla 1998 is terrible on the whole it's a dull and bad thing that happened and that I will never forget. Never. Ever.Video Version ► https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsFn7D0EtnIJames' Twitter ► http://twitter.com/mrsundaymoviesMaso's Twitter ► http://twitter.com/wikipediabrownPatreon ► https://patreon.com/mrsundaymoviesT-Shirts/Merch ► https://www.teepublic.com/stores/mr-sunday-movies The Weekly Planet iTunes ► https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-weekly-planet/id718158767?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4 The Weekly Planet Direct Download ► https://play.acast.com/s/theweeklyplanetGodzilla 1998 on Amazon ► https://amzn.to/31YdYas Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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That is wrong. Bend for your king. Never. Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes. Only in theaters May 10th. Tickets on sale now. This podcast is part of the Planet Broad network visit planet broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates welcome to caravan of garbage everybody uh fyi every look this movie

godzilla 1998 is the first movie that i realized that movies can be bad oh as a do you mean right now or do you mean as a child no no as a child you know, I'd go and see everything and everything was great. You know what I mean? I'd go and watch the Ewok movies. They were good. I'd watch Independence Day. Yeah. People love the first one but hate the second one.

They're both about the same, as in not that great. For sure. Agreed. And coming into this. Yes. Do you remember the trailer, right? Yeah, look, everything about this this all the lead up was great the trailer where where we see it's it's uh it's in a history museum and it's a it's a dinosaur museum they're like

look at this big dinosaur it's the biggest thing you've ever seen it's so big and there's nothing even bigger than this and then the big godzilla foot comes in and crushes it we're like whoa there is something bigger we all thought yeah and was. The building that the dinosaur was housed in. But also Godzilla. And then there was the soundtrack. The soundtrack had Puff Daddy, as he was known at the time, with Jimmy Page. It had Jamiroquai. It had that Warflowers cover of Heroes. Do you remember that?

It did. Every video clip had them emoting while Godzilla just tore the place up around him. And every time I saw that, I'm like, oh, my God, this is so cool. But also, get out of there. Godzilla's going to kill you. It's the biggest thing. It's the biggest thing that exists. It's not as big as the building, but it's pretty big.

Anyway, the hype was huge. Yeah. And this was bad. Boy, was it. This trailer cost $600,000 alone. And they cut it from the movie. It was supposed to be in there. They didn't even end up putting it in for some reason yeah right the funny thing about this movie is they spent years

trying to get the rights from toho to make an american version of it because there was going to be one prior to this but like immediately prior right yes it was gonna and i've seen through a thing went through a few incarnations and i've seen some production some some production stills and some like test models because i got to the to the Sam Winston studio to make stuff and they look good. It looks like Godzilla. It looks like Godzilla. Kind of a longer neck, I think. Like Godzilla.

Yeah, you recognise it. Yeah, for sure. We'll get into the design. That is for sure. Producer Henry G. Saperstein, he came at Toho for 10 years to make a version. He came at it threateningly. Yeah, pretty much. He did that thing where you're like, you're like threateningly shove your face in their face.

What are you going to do? Another reason that people got excited for this is because the writing by Dean Devlin, directed by Roland Emmerich. Both of them had come off the back of both Stargate and Independence Day, which were huge hits. I still have never seen Stargate to this day. I've read the novelisation.

I've never seen the movie. So you've probably seen, you've probably imagined all the many scenes that were cut out. Yeah, exactly. They cut out for the final movie. That's right. So Dean Devlin, and he has gone on more recently to direct Geostorm. One of your favorite films. One of my favorite films. But their idea was that it's going to be like Tim Burton's Batman

to Adam West's Batman. Right. That was what they were aiming for. And I think they were also aiming for like Jurassic Park. Yes. But like gritty and cool. Yeah. I feel strongly that that's where they were headed.

But it's way dumber with worse characters. Speaking of characters. Okay. One of my favourite things, and this is something that I didn't even notice when the movie came out, because I guess it wasn't in my wheelhouse or I wasn't aware of it. Yeah. In this New York City, the mayor is mayor ebert yes and

his sidekick is a guy called gene yes that's siskel and ebert not an accident no of course well of course not but i didn't know i wasn't aware of who they were at the time yeah but clearly because siskel and ebert movie famous movie critics rubbished uh roland emmerich's previous films yes they were like let's put them in this that'll teach you that'll teach himished Roland Emmerich's previous films. Yes. They were like, let's put him in this. That'll teach him. That'll teach him. Roland Emmerich's German. So maybe this is some funny German joke

that I don't understand, but it seems to be like, ha ha, you made fun of my previous movies. This will teach you. I'll put you in another of my movies, which is very bad. That doesn't teach him anything. Like imagine if they made Godzilla 98

and they put Siskel and Ebert in it and this movie was incredible and these two were like big doofuses in the movie then you'd be like huh they did make a great movie and you guys were wrong but they're not wrong and the other this movie's bad those two guys actually they commented on this when the movie came out they said well we're in it but he doesn't do anything with this like we're not stomped to death or anything they don't really make fools of themselves it's's just like a guy's like, I'm the mayor of New York. And the other guy's like, maybe we should... And that's it.

There's nothing to those characters. Exactly. Like, they're the guys who are like, well, I don't think you should evacuate the city. But I mean... Half the cast is that. Yeah, exactly. That's every character in every one of these disaster movies. So, Toho actually gave a 75 75 page dossier over to the american creators

okay for godzilla right and these are some of the things that they uh that they said just to steer away from yep godzilla cannot eat people only fish uh he has to have three rows of dorsal plates no more or less than three toes on his feet and four fingers on his hands. He cannot be made to look silly. He cannot die in the movie. And all of these points were nearly all were disregarded. Yeah. It's the guy who designed Godzilla, Patrick Tatopoulos. Does that name sound familiar? Nick Tatopoulos is Matthew Broderick's character in the movie.

I love that running joke where people can't say his name. Can't say his name. A very simple name with a limited number of syllables. Like, I just can't say his name a very simple name with a limited number of syllables like i just can't say it all roland emmerich said was as long as he can run fast apparently he can run 200 miles per hour that's the uh i mean i don't get the sense of that because he can't catch a taxi at the end of the movie i'm gonna do a bloody can in new york city that's probably a thing i've never been there exactly it's not like it's set in the american midwest where there's just rolling green fields that he can charge down.

He's almost exclusively fleeing in the middle of the New York business district, which is all tiny little corners and whatever. You can't get up to 200 miles an hour. So this version of Godzilla, the origin is, well, they keep the nuclear origin. Yes. Nuclear. But it's an iguana. It's a mutated iguana yes it's heavily implied through the opening credits of like suspicious activity the french are bloody bombing the crap

out of the pacific you remember that when that happened at the start i'm like i remember that do the french have nuclear weapons i looked it up they've got 300 yep yeah nice yeah way less than others yeah but still some yeah it also opens with matthew broderick driving erratically in the rain with headphones on and i'm like is that what they should be because matthew broderick's history with yeah with driving a manslaughter yeah exactly yeah look we're not going to get into it but godzilla in this you might be wondering where is godzilla what this entire time 11 minutes of screen time and you might think that's not a lot which it isn't but apparently the new one in 2014 i looked this up eight minutes of screen time but

people also complained about that i i feel i think that's probably true as well yeah yeah and also in the next one it's gonna be all godzilla all the time yeah look i'm not i'm not surprised that there's so little godzilla in this because it looks bad and it's composited in really bad boy is it. There's a scene where uh Harry Shearer who's the head of the newspaper I think or the TV station. Yeah. Is is on the phone and he doesn't see Godzilla behind him and that's because it's a really really obvious blue screen. Yes. You can see the the highlights around the edges where they've cut it cut it out it looks so bad. The worst one I think for me is when some soldiers are underground

and you see the big Godzilla eye. Yep. That one for me is atrocious. Yeah. But there's a lot of it. There is some practical shots with Godzilla. Yeah. Like there's a bit where they go into its mouth

and there's some hand bits and stuff, this and that. But it was going to be like a guy in a suit at one point for a lot of it. But they went, no, let's go for something realistic. But it has aged horribly. Oh, there is a man in a suit for some of it. So apparently originally they were going to go with motion capture. Yeah. And it looked too much like a man in a suit.

Yes. So instead for a lot of it, they went with a man in a suit. Not for the running bits, obviously. No. Yeah. But for some of it, yeah. I thought it was like 10 shots or something. Like it's not a lot though, right?

Yeah, right. It's like very limited. So the original script that they discarded apparently had a lot though, right? Yeah, right. It's like very limited. So the original script that they discarded apparently had a lot of cool things in it. I'm ready. But this movie's already filled to the brim with cool things. Roland Emmerich said, it was something I would never have done. The last half was like watching two creatures go at it.

I simply don't like that. What? Isn't that the point of most of these movies? Well, the previous version it was that's what i want to see the godzilla movie i want to see it smash a different monster that's why it's been that's why this thing has been successful you know it was too many decades whatever it is yeah like the the original version the previous version of godzilla that we're going to do it was going to be godzilla versus the griffin which is like a sort of a flying it was it was like i guess it

was a mishmash of some of the famous Godzilla monsters. It's always a flying one. But it was like a flying dragon-esque kind of thing. And at the end, I believe he was going to tear its head off and spike it on the top of the Empire State Building. Nice. Like a 90s basketball reference. Exactly. Or football.

Versus Charles Barkley. Versus Charles Barkley. I love this bit because when Patrick to Topolis did I say that right yes great it's very difficult I mean it's a good joke

we've been here for hours he's been doing hundreds of different takes when they showed it to Toho because they had to get it approved yeah they were speechless and there was silence

for a couple of minutes then they said could you come back tomorrow and they thought kiss of death yeah they thought it was going to be like oh we're done but like later it was said it was so different we realized that we couldn't make

small adjustments well exactly so they just went yeah all right because it's not like again for people who haven't seen either version of godzilla i guess the original godzilla is this enormous bottom heavy bottom heavy creature that stands primarily on its hind legs. Yeah. And it's just this huge beast built for just tearing cities down. And this new version, by comparison, is this weedy little, zippy little iguana creature. Yes. The thing is.

You can't tweak that in post to be like, make the fins a bit bigger. It won't change anything. No. I don't hate the design. It's not a good Godzilla design. But the creature design on its own when it's not moving, I think it's okay as a monster design. Yeah, right. It's not brilliant.

It's kind of xenomorph-esque. Would you say that? Like a xenomorph and a raptor. Yeah, absolutely. It's got that kind of feel to it. These are the things I like about this movie. I've listed them. Okay.

I really like the bit where it's shattering the pier when it's coming into New York. Oh, yeah. That's a great shot. Okay. There's some the bit where it's shattering the pier when it's coming into New York. Oh, yeah. That's a great shot. There's some weird compositing with a guy running down going, I've got too much. I've had too much that I'm bargained for or whatever he's running. He's caught too big a fish. The only thing you're going to catch is a cold.

I like the bit where Matthew Broderick comments, that's a lot of fish, when they pour a lot of fish. Yeah. It harkens back to his ferris bueller days doesn't it what is that about why why would you include that line that's a lot of fish like because the other guy doesn't even say anything just be like well don't you know it or what is it for people who don't know what a pile of fish looks like yes i mean there is a there there's so many lines that are clearly in there for dumb audience there's like how could a monster that big just disappear? Well, obviously, it went back into the river.

On May 10th, Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes is coming to IMAX and theaters everywhere. What a wonderful day! This summer, one movie event will reign. It is our time. Apes hunt humans. That is wrong. Bend for our time. Apes hunt humans. That is wrong. Bend for your king. Never.

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Speaking of going back into the river, I really like the shot where it dives into the river. It takes a running dive. I like that. Do you like Matthew Broderick's weird beret? No. Why is everyone going to weird beret in this movie? No, I don't like it.

Matthew Broderick is completely without charisma in this movie no i don't like it matthew broderick is completely without charisma in this and there's when he's first met okay but who's with charisma who's john reno he's amazing i was gonna say i was gonna say who's the um jeff goldblum of this of this uh of this movie it's john reno and john reno's hamming it up and he's chewing the gum he's like i'm american and he does it at albus presley impersonation i like john reno a lot okay i think he's good in this he and he's chewing the gum. He's like, I'm American. And he does an Elvis Presley impersonation. I like Sean Reno a lot. Okay. I think he's good in this.

He is good. What about the rest of the people who are clearly drawn from like early to mid-90s sitcoms? All the other actors. Like the redhead that first meets Matthew Broderick. And she's like, he's a bloody bit of all right. I'll tell you what, look at this guy. Yeah, I think she was probably from News Radio. I think you're right.

And the general, sort of the out of shape general guy. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No. I mean, it's got all the things and the wacky best friend the wacky best friend yeah there's three simpsons actors in this yep so there's hank azaria harry shira harry shira and nancy cartwright's the one who's like look behind you there's a godzilla and he's like i don't see anything i'm too busy looking for a big story on my telephone or whatever oh yeah right uh-huh you know what else doesn't age well

there's two helicopter chases okay one with three helicopters and he's saying both the helicopter chases don't age well both of them aren't good but the second one more so because the second time there's a helicopter chase there's just a hundred and they're all darting and weaving in between the buildings and narrowly missing each other it's atrocious and it's just it's fascinating to me that they decide, in retrospect, look, I understand they want a flashy action sequence, but it fascinates me that they went, you know where we should lure Godzilla? Right into the middle of the city.

And then just fire missiles and cannons at him. At everything. At everything and destroy the Flatiron building and destroy the Chrysler building. It's fine. It's fine, yeah. Don't even worry about it. Because they do it twice. Like, the second time they lure him in, they're like, well, she.

The second time they do that, they're like, no, we've got to be careful not to shoot any of the buildings around Godzilla. And they still do. Yeah. But the thing is, it has like the- Lure him out to like the nice part of- Lure him out to the upstate New York, you know.

There's plenty of room for him to breathe. He can stretch his legs, yeah. Stretch his legs, get up to 200 miles an hour like he wants to. It has all the things in a Roland Emmerich, Dean Devlin joint that we've come to know and love. Oh, yes. Destruction, smug authority figures getting their comeuppance. Absolutely.

And it's crap. I don't think these guys have made a good film. Look, I know that's just me because I hate disaster movies. I hate every single disaster movie. Every time I say this, I get a lot of grief. Twister is a terrible movie. It's not a good movie. And again, it's the same thing of, did you see the cow?

I saw the cow. We know you saw the cow. Everybody saw the cow. Everyone saw the cow, but also everyone at this point knows you saw the cow. I know that, but people still ask me. And that's the thing about- I saw it, Mason. No, I know you saw it.

The thing about this movie is Godzilla isn't an antagonist. No. He's just like a dumb animal that wants to live its life. Yes. And they're just shooting missiles at it. Yep, yep. It's rude. It's very rude.

They should have gone, well, it's awful that there's this thing and we have to kill it, so let's find a way in the script to deal with him humanely. Yeah. And then they should have realised, that's not what a Godzilla movie's is about at all let's have another monster and have him fight it yes and then godzilla's the hero or whatever and it stomps off into the into the night or the distance this is the kind of shit i hate in movies as well like when characters aren't written like real people because matthew broderick goes in to get a pregnancy test he's like i need some pregnancy tests but i need one and he's like and he named some specific chemical compounds which the person behind the desk is like, well, I don't know anything about that.

You're a real person in the real world. And this is a person who's working at the counter of a pharmacy. You just go in and you say, I need some pregnancy tests. Like you don't need to prove that you're smart. We see your beret. We know. We get it. Yeah, we've seen you working at a computer.

We know. We get it. Yeah, we've seen you working at a computer. We know. Exactly. And I love how they justify calling it Godzilla like you need to because they have a tape of the first boat that's attacked. Well, one of the guys is on there and it's a Japanese dude and he says, Gorjira. Yeah. Or however you...

I know I've said it wrong. Don't fucking at me, all right? And then the newscaster is like, says godzilla but there's no way that you could make that mistake right like so don't justify it just to be like well this is what we're calling it yeah right why don't why doesn't anybody believe that the nest is real for matthew broderick because he gets the tape stolen from his former flame he's yeah right he's first love oh yeah i remember and then they're like you you're out, Matthew Broderick, and every theory you've ever had, even though you've been right

every time, is wrong, and we're not going to look for Godzilla's nest, and it's definitely not pregnant. Don't even worry about it. Like, why did they disregard that? Just because somebody took a tape from his room. Because they've worked backwards. The script, Dean Devlin, our old best mate, has worked backwards, and he's gone, okay, at the end of the movie,

there's going to be a nest of Godzilla eggs and they're going to be right on the verge of hatching before they're destroyed. So how is it we're going to say that nobody has taken any action before this? Well, we'll just say that nobody believes him. That's how you go. That's how plotting works. But he could have figured it out after he was fired and then he can't get back in.

So he goes and Matthew Broderick's in himself. Oh, then it's bad writing is the answer there. Okay, good. Yeah. So, yeah, you mentioned the eggs at the end. Uh-huh. It's a very long movie, right? It's two hours and 18 minutes.

Yeah. I know. Yeah. Because you think it's kind of wrapping up because they get out of the city. And then it's just Jurassic Park with the raptors for like 40 minutes running around the bloody stadium again jurassic park like clearly they wanted again a cooler grittier version but you can't do that if everything about your movie's bad like jurassic park the first time we see the dinosaurs it's daytime in a field you can touch them you can

see them breathing yeah they're there they're they as real as can be. And in this, again, they just look like everybody's staring at a grain screen. It's clear also with the baby ones, the ones that are puppets and ones that aren't. Yeah, right. It's very evident. And sometimes they'll eat you and get up right close. And other times, like a chandelier will drop on them and they'll just step right back. Like, you know what I mean? They don't feel like a threat because they only eat the eat the french that nobody knows the names of this is

the french you know what i mean but it leads into that street chase i was talking about with the taxi and this is another example of dialogue in it they go into the the mouth of godzilla and then they're like we're in its mouth we're in its mouth! We're in its mouth! Like, we all see it. And everybody in the car knows that you're in its mouth. It's an unnecessary piece of dialogue. And then they shoot her to death. Yeah, and again, like, traditionally Godzilla, invulnerable to all mortal weapons.

That's a key element of this being. But nah, just shoot some missiles at it, I reckon. Yeah, absolutely. Well, we know now that this is not considered a real version of Godzilla in canon. Yes, there is a different version of Godzilla. So this was referred to, I believe, by a reviewer at the time as Geno, Godzilla in name only. Yeah.

And the Japanese creators of Godzilla have taken referring to a version of this character as Zilla. Yes. Because the god has been taken away is what they say. And also I believe it's because there's a lot of Godzilla knockoff stuff in Japan and it's just called blank Zilla. It's this Zilla. It's this Zilla.

So they were just like, let's just call him Zilla because he's a knockoff. Yeah, right. He's a poor quality copy kind of thing. And we see it murdered in a follow-up Godzilla movie. Yeah, it is in. Godzilla War. Godzilla Final Wars, I think. And he's dispatched in like, I want to say, 15 seconds.

Is he smashed into the opera house, maybe? Yeah, it takes place in Sydney, so I believe he is. But in fairness, that's in a big sequence where Godzilla takes out a whole bunch of monsters in like 10 seconds each. So it wasn't just that one, but it's definitely that one. Well, the sequel, because they were going to make a trilogy. They were going to make one, but it's definitely that one. Yeah. Well, the sequel, because they were going to make a trilogy.

They were going to make a trilogy. It's true, yeah. The second one was going to be in Australia, and they actually spun this off into a TV series. The only one in the world that remembers that is you, the Godzilla animated series. So the Godzilla sequel, it was going to make the last remaining Godzilla baby was going to grow up, and it was going to have children as well because they're born pregnant.

Yep. And include, like, there was going to be a couple and a runt of the litter as well. And then Nick Totopoulos was going to go to Australia. It's Totopoulos. I know you said that. And he was going to go to Australia. It was going to imprint on him. Then it was going to go to Australia.

And he was going to follow it to Australia. And then the army was going to attempt to destroy it again, and then they're like, no, actually, he's with me this time around. We kiss. Yeah, exactly. That's right. And there was going to be a monster, I think. You know what?

There was going to be a giant swarm of bees. Okay. And a giant bee-esque monster called, in the script, the Queen Bitch. Who says there's no good female roles in hollywood absolutely so that was good so that was going to happen but then it didn't because obviously nobody cared so instead it was turned into an animated series where the the final remaining baby godzilla again imprints on matthew broderick's character and then grows up to be a giant Godzilla that is now sterile, so there's going to be no more Godzillas. And then it fights the original.

In one episode, it fights the original Godzilla who's been brought back from the dead as a cyber Godzilla. Great. So the series was, I believe, more well regarded than the movies because they were like, you know what, let's have him fight monsters every week. Because that's what people want to say. Well, this movie ruined a few things. For for one good versions of godzilla like around the world yeah right as well like obviously we didn't get a good western adaptation until 2014 and even then

people argue that i quite like that movie a lot of people don't which i can also understand why because there's not again there's not a lot of godzilla in that movie that's true yeah but it also there it's what it is makes an impact, you know? Yeah, absolutely. But it also killed... There was a Godzilla toy line from Treadmasters. Oh, yes. Oh, and it bankrupted them. It bankrupted them, yeah.

And so initially the sales were really good. Yeah. Because people were excited for this movie because it looked amazing. They were like, where's my Puff Daddy and Jamiroquai action figures? Give them to me. Give them to me.

And now this company no longer exists. Jimmy Page with big riff action. Na-na-na. Na-na-na. Na-na-na. Na-na-na. Oh, yeah. Yeah, nice.

I quite like that song. It's pretty good. Also, Sony knew this was bad because the studio executives saw this movie three weeks before its release and they recognised that it wasn't going to be what they hoped for and expected it to bomb. This led to them expanding the marketing

to ensure a strong theatrical opening, which happened. Like, it made money. It didn't tank. Well, we were hyped. We were very hyped, yeah. One more thing. Dean Devlin, the writer of this and producer,

aggressively defended this movie on internet boards. This is at the time. On Usenet, probably. Telling Godzilla fans to hell with you if they have a negative opinion the official Godzilla message board was shut down soon thereafter

due to all the heated arguing and years later Devlin admitted that he's recognised the movie's faults and apologised to fans in various interviews so everybody learnt a lesson even Dean Devlin himself

and the fans I think have learnt a lesson because you know what looking back on this movie it's not that bad. Just kidding. It's fucking awful. It's really bad.

If I can just go back to Roger Ebert again. Sure. Because I'm like, Maya Ebert. And I looked it up. And then, of course, he's got a review of Godzilla. Okay. This is his review because it premiered at Cannes in France. At the Cannes Film Festival.

Cannes! Thank you. In France? Going to see Godzilla at the Palais of the Cannes Film Festival is like attending a satanic ritual in St. Peter's Basilica it's a rebuke to the faith that the building represents Cannes touchingly adheres to a belief

that a film can be intelligent, moving and grand Godzilla is a big, ugly, ungainly device to give teenagers the impression they are seeing a movie and there's an assortment of insults that are all fair uh now that i've inspired a character in a godzilla movie all i really still desire is for several ingmar bergman characters to sit in a circle and read my reviews to one another in hushed tones

okay that's that's that's pretty good classy stuff anyway this has been caravan of garbage we do this every week we suffer through one of these every week. Sometimes it's a good thing, believe it or not. But if you've got something to recommend, it could be a video game, it could be a TV show, it could be a comic, it could be a movie, it could be an audio drama. It could be a novel. Just kidding. We will never do a novel. Never ever.

Yeah. Also, there's videos here every Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday. And we, of course, have a podcast called The Weekly Planet, where we talk movies and comics and TV shows. That happens every Monday morning and we've got one for the new Godzilla King of the Monsters, which by all accounts is better than this in every single conceivable way.

There's no way it couldn't be, right? I agree with you, Mason, on that. Thank you. Thank you. And thanks everybody for watching and listening. Grab that gem, you guys. We'll see you next week. And goodbye. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates i mean if you want it's up to you