The Weekly Planet - Inhumans - Caravan Of Garbage

Episode Date: January 28, 2021

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FX's The Veil explores the surprising and fraught relationship between two women who play a deadly game of truth and lies on the road from Istanbul to Paris and London. One woman has a secret. The other, a mission to reveal it before thousands of lives are lost. FX's The Veil, starring Elizabeth Moss, is now streaming on Disney+. Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever? Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, to support life-saving progress in mental health care.

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This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Okay, so James, I know today you wanted me to talk about some sort of old Marvel TV series or something, but I was just thinking you have quite a big audience here and I just wanted to pitch my young adult fantasy series

to the listeners, maybe get some money folks involved. This isn't really the platform for this. I know. But I want to get rich quick because, you know, there's the Hunger Games and there's Divergent and there's all those kind of things. Well, it's a series about this cruel, uncaring society, right? Like the peasants, they all work their fingers to the bone, right,

in service of this royal family who don't care about them at all, right? And also in society there's this weird ritual. When you become an adolescent, you're forced into it, right, where it unlocks your sort of secret special power. And you don't know what it is. But if you get a cool power, like if you can shoot lasers out of your hands. Butterfly wings, maybe. If you can fly, that would be incredible.

You've got a projector head. Your face is like a literal projector. Ah, listen, how about this? How about we go, if you get a cool power, you get to live in luxury, you know, with the royal family and with the elites. Yeah, cool. But if you get a weird power like the projector thing you had or you become some sort of horrible mutant through no fault of your own,

well, they send you underground to work in the mines until you die. Question. Yes? Is the thing you're mining for is the thing that also transforms you into a horrible monster or a special royal person? James, that's a great idea. Thank you. Because you could be the cause of your own destruction.

That means I get royalties for this because I had an idea. Andy's going to edit this. Son of a... Okay, but here's the thing, right? But we're going to need one man, right? One special man. Okay. But he's special because he didn't get any powers, right?

He is special. But... That's like me. He doesn't get... I'm not special. But he doesn't get sent down to the mines because he is the brother of the king. Yeah, right. And so he eventually realizes that the society he lives in is cruel and unjust

and it's working out really badly for people. So he goes to his family and he says, we should use our powers and our resources to go to a nearby land where we can all live free and we don't have to toil anymore. But these family are like, no, we like it the way things are. We think it's cool exactly the way it is. So what he does is he gets a bunch of the peasants together and he forms a force, like a rebellion, right?

And then they're going to raise weapons up against the royal family and they're going to take the society back for the people. Anyway, Jums, I think he's going to be a really great villain. What do you reckon about that? That's true. I mean, what a story. What an idea. Anyway, Jums, I think he's going to be a really great villain. What do you reckon about that? That's true. I mean, what a story. Right? What an idea.

Well, see, because I was thinking. I want it on IMAX. Because you know how, like, in the movie Black Panther. Sure. The villain Killmonger, he's so compelling because you listen to what he says. You think to yourself, is he right? So I was thinking the way to make an even more compelling villain is to have him be completely right. Like absolutely right and just say the right

things and do what he can to make things better for just the normal regular people. Because you'd be watching the show and you'd be like, why have they made him a villain? This is very compelling. I think they made him a villain because he was a villain in Game of Thrones. That'll just translate, right?

James, what are you talking about? I'm talking about my hypothetical fantasy series. Oh, Mason, I hate to break it to you, but they made this show and it was really terrible. What was it called? It was called Inhumans. Oh, yeah, we watched that together. Oh, that's where I got my idea. Carve out of garbage is back, baby.

I mean, you saw it in the thumbnail and the description. We're back for the new year. That was parody or satire. I don't know. It was one of those. But, yeah, we watched. The weirdest premise of this show is that the villain is trying to do the right thing. But here's the difference.

What's the difference? The royal family are the good guys. Yeah. Because they've got all the cool powers, as I mentioned. And they're sexy. They're pretty sexy, aren't they? Right? And the others are a bunch of uggos.

Like, imagine being the hero of a bunch of uggos. Projector eyes. Weird hands. With crab claw hands. Right? Yuck. A guy that can see the future. But fuck you. Get in the mine. bunch of uggos like imagine being the hero of a bunch of uggos projector eyes weird hands with crab claw hands right yuck a guy that can see the future but fuck you get in the mine you dumb bitch where are your wings you bitch what's your wingless bitch what's better butterfly wings or seeing the future if one of those two had to go in the mine yeah come on right do you reckon they keep the projector head guy in a cupboard yes Yes. Like an actual projector?

100%, yes. So anyway, if you haven't seen this, this is a TV series that initially debuted in IMAX cinemas, the first two episodes. Shockingly. We saw them both. Yeah. And then we didn't watch the rest of the series. No.

Then it was cancelled. But we revisited the first two episodes because we're like, is it as bad as we remember? Yeah. It might be worse. Yeah. It might be worse. Yeah, it might be worse. Hasn't aged well. Just seeing this as well on a regular TV, this is not equipped for IMAX in any way.

And I know the people behind IMAX running it were like, this is kind of insulting that you gave us this. Well, because very early on in the first episode, there is an attempt to do IMAX quality camera work. Like you see somebody run through the forest and all the raindrops are dripping down and it's in kind of slow-mo. But then there's like a really terrible CGI waterfall that's very obviously been like drawn in in post.

The guy with the big green head. Big green head guy. Yeah, exactly. And then it just falls into like regular TV stuff after about five minutes. Well, do you know though, I'll leave it like, you're supposed to. It's important. The road to this becoming a TV show or an IMAX exclusive, however it started, it was an interesting one

because they were kind of strong-armed into making this a movie. It was announced it's the only Marvel movie that was lined up in the slate that they didn't make. We've talked about how other companies like your DCs and your Valiants, they're always announcing these new properties. People get fired. They fall by the wayside. It's the same with Star Wars.

You know what I mean? They're constantly firing. Yeah, but Marvel's been very consistent about it, except for this one thing where they're like, oof. So it was supposed to be the 11th movie. It was an Ike Perlmutter idea. By the way, if you don't know what Ike Perlmutter looks like, he's that very sinister image of him standing with Trump.

Look, I say sinister because there's really no other way you could describe this. You've seen this image, right? Oh, I've seen it, yeah. It's very sinister. Very. Not to get political. Yeah. Maybe there was ominous music over that picture.

That's not up to me. That's the picture doing that. Right? That's in your head from looking at it. That's right. Ben, the editor, didn't do that. That was just in music over that picture. That's not up to me. That's the picture doing that. That's in your head from looking at it. That's right. Ben the editor didn't do that. That was just in there. Very sinister.

And not to get political, but this show is all about, like, stay in your lane. Stay in your fucking lane. If you're poor, don't rise above your station. Don't do it. Rich people are your betters. Exactly. Yeah, the idea was that they were going to minimize the X-Men

and the Fantastic Four in merch, in TV shows, in video games, because they didn't own the cinematic rights to those at the time. So they were going to sink them. That's right. So they were going to big up the Inhumans. They were going to become the new extreme cool powers fighting force. The new mutants. Exactly. That's right.

And they got a big push on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Much better than this, by the way. Yeah, right? Yeah. And so it was rumoured, though, that Kevin Feige stepped around Ike Perlmutter to be like, this guy's controlling budgets, he's pushing this weird movie that I don't want to make. He was also the one who said that, you know, he didn't think Black Panther would make any money

or Captain Marvel, these things wouldn't sell. But also to recast Rhodey because nobody would notice. Like that's the kind of guy that we're dealing with. Real cool dude. So it eventually got pushed to television. He still got to make it. And IMAX. And I'm sorry.

Sorry. It's a real Avengers Infinity War situation, isn't it? And then since then it's been pushed to Disney Plus in like a weird side cabinet. We had to, I don't know, in order to access it, we needed the two key system to unlock it. And we're the first two people who've watched it, I think.

Kudos to Disney Plus though. There's that real get smart corridor of additional doors before you can get to it. Just a bunch of parental locks, but it's not parental locks. It's just like, are you sure? What are you doing?

You can turn around. Mickey Mouse is in the last one. He's like, are you sure? Guys. He puts his big mouth out. Don't do this. Please. I'm begging you.

Though, to be fair, like kudos to Disney. It's kind of amazing that it's on here. Yeah, they could have got rid of it. Because it's so bad. Yeah. We've only watched the first two episodes. Maybe it takes a jump. The other thing.

Off a waterfall. But to be fair, they didn't put any effort into it. For one, it's kind of difficult to find. And also, there's no recap at the start of each episode. It's just like, doesn't matter. Just finish it. Just get through it, all right? Yeah.

Anyway, the Inhumans, they're a genetic offshoot of humanity. They moved to the moon back in the day. What a spectacular location. I hope they've got a whole lot of amazing moon-esque technology they can show for us. Apartments? Yep.

Nice apartments. Regular hair clippers. I was trying to figure out what that is. Oh, my God. Oh, yep, you're right. Actually, I've made a list of things that they have on the moon to make it really spectacular. Do you think they send a guy down to get them?

They must. Because they have this technology. They can either use a shuttle or a teleporting dog. So they've got regular apartments, wrist communicators, which turn into telephones. Cool. Pillows, potted plants, headphones, guns. I saw a fork at one point. Okay.

Oh, you're expecting some sort of weird moon fork. Remember that episode of Red Dwarf where they sit with that guy at the table, Legion, is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's got those magic wavy super forks. Good point. They should have super forks, shouldn't they? Lunaforks.

That's right. There's haircuts such as spraying a black line into your blonde hair. Also, it's terrible resource management because I'd imagine there's not a lot of water on the moon and they've just got a pond. There's just a pond there. Well, the rich people have a pond. Poor people don't have a pond they're in a ditch they

wash in a ditch that's right with with with ditch dirt that's right not even water so i just also want to touch on the amazing display of unique powers and how people get allocated because even though it is a society where the amazing people are supposed to go into the amazing royal group, it obviously doesn't work that way. There's a guy who's got like cow hooves and I guess he's sort of strong. He's the dumbest man. He's very good looking. Yeah. Oh, okay.

So that's part of it too. I think so too. Yeah, you might be right. But also like why is hoof man who's got super strength better than the guy with crab claw lizard hands who's good at digging? Like it's the good looking thing, isn't it? It's the good-looking thing, and also, as you mentioned, he can't hold a fork.

As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors, like high blood pressure developed during pregnancy, which can put us two times more at risk of heart disease or stroke. Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca. FX's The Veil explores the surprising and fraught relationship between two women

who play a deadly game of truth and lies on the road from Istanbul to Paris and London. One woman has a secret. The other, a mission to reveal it before thousands of lives are lost. FX's The Veil, starring Elizabeth Moss, is now streaming on Disney+. Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever?

Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Center for Addiction and Mental Health, to support life-saving progress in mental health care. From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So, who will you rise for? Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca.

That's sunrisechallenge.ca. How's he going to be at a posh dinner, at a little dinner party with the royals, trying to hold a canapé with his crab claws? Ridiculous. I also think it's not terribly cast, but I don't think there's some very good performances or even expression of what the characters are supposed to be. Because like you mentioned, the good guys are very unlikable.

And I know the bad guy is also... There's one scene where it's like, he's a creep. Cause you know, he's making a move. But other people in this are a creep as well. The Karnak is like hitting on a servant and then saying he's going to murder her. And he's a good guy. Yeah, he's a good guy.

Okay. I wanted to ask you about him specifically because he's got one of the very unique and interesting powers where he's got the Nicolas Cage next powers. Have you ever seen the movie? Yeah, right. He can kind of project into the future where he's got the Nicolas Cage next powers. Have you ever seen the movie? Yeah, right. He can kind of project into the future where he's in, say, a fight scenario,

and then he can like, oh, okay, so that guy's going to shoot there, so I'll grab this guy. Oh, no, I got shot. That didn't work. I'll reverse that. Now I'll do it this way. Yeah, he can sort of calculate fight probabilities. Yeah.

But what happens to that guy? He bumps his head. So a guy who should never lose his footing because he can always see the future. He slips and he bumps his head. That's right, yeah. And then his powers don't work anymore. No, there's one location on the Earth that he can't see the future in and it's like a foot-wide patch of dirt. Just didn't see it coming, you know?

So, yeah, a few of the new mutants are sent down to Earth to find... Do you mean inhumans? Shut up, Mason. Does it matter? No. Yeah, a few of them get sent to Earth on various missions or are there to escape. And one of them are the cowhoof man. They're like, if there's one person who can find the guy with the green head triton, it's

this guy. He's one of the best. And the first thing he does is he walks into the ocean and nearly drowns. Because he doesn't know what water is? I mean, they've got that pond. They've got the pond. But it's only hoof high, so... Yeah, right, right, right.

But, like, if I saw, like, a big rolling, like, mass of liquid, and I'd never seen that before, I probably wouldn't walk into it. Well, it's interesting that the Inhumans that end up on Earth, despite the fact that they've been surveilling Earth for, it seems like, hundreds or thousands of years, they don't know anything about what happens on earth or any of the customs of earth at one point black bolt the leader of the inhumans yeah walks into a uh he wants to go undercover he's the dumbest

person in this by the way and it's partly because he can't talk and partly because if he's like no i think he's just dumb he seems very dumb but he goes into a because he wants to go undercover so he's smart enough to know that his Inhumans royal garb is a little bit out of place. So he just walks into a clothing store and he puts on a suit and then he just walks out without paying for it. Well, he's a royal, but also, like, you don't understand currency. Like, you don't have currency where you're from.

You've just got working in the mines. But the other thing is he walks out and then immediately gets, then immediately gets captured by the police because he stole a suit. Yeah, his initial idea was, I'm going deep undercover. I'm going to wear a sexy, cool Earth suit. Not this. I guess it's like an X-Men costume, isn't it? It's like a Bryan Singer X-Men costume. But he's an absolute-

I still think I'm a Bryan Singer era X-Men cosplayer. Can't have that. Yuck. The thing is as well, that guy shouldn't be king for one he killed his parents i know it was a hilarious yeah it is it is hilarious maybe that's why they let him like stay that was pretty funny actually yeah you can be king you're pretty funny you're a pretty funny guy so everyone's telling you wait is that part of maybe we learn later on in the series like is this a critique of the royals? Because he's the king despite the fact he's dumb as a box of rocks.

But not as ugly. But not as ugly. So he gets to be the king. They probably run out of budget at the end and they just go, yeah, this was about the actual royal family. I don't know if you picked up on that, but we didn't paint them in a good light on purpose. Also, we ran out of budget.

That's why it's me. The normally mute guy is telling you the moral of the story but like he doesn't understand the big dog was uh prince charles or something yeah or like all the corgis like lashed together or something like that or whatever uh it is one good thing i can say about uh this show just quickly the big dog for a television big dog it looks pretty good yeah and there's a big there's a funny intro to the character where you're like she's the crystal is like it's like hey come here lock And there's a big, there's a funny intro to the character where you're like, she's the crystal is like, it's like, Hey,

come here, lock, show the dog. And you think it's going to be a little dog, but then it's a really big dog. That's right. Very funny. Very funny.

Funny. Like a man splattering his parents across the wall by talking at them. Why? Remember that? Yeah. Wasn't it? Yeah. Yeah.

That dog was pretty good though. Apparently, and I can't confirm this for budgetary reasons, it really, like, drops off in later episodes. You're not seeing it that much. But, yeah, he doesn't understand shops. He doesn't understand photos, despite him having all sorts of, like, technology on the moon.

Projectorize, man. All that, and they've got, like, regular screens and stuff. Yeah, yeah. He doesn't understand standing in traffic, so, like, he doesn't understand, like, big moving vehicles. And, again, you said, like, oh, so he doesn't understand big moving vehicles. And again, you said, oh, maybe he's part of the royal family. Yeah, but he knows that they don't know who he is, right? Yeah, exactly.

He knows that the people of Hawaii don't know he's the king, so of course they're going to run him over. Another thing is... Because he's a goose. But it's strange because Medusa, his wife, she knows about cars and traffic, and she knows what a bus is. And she's like, where does this bus go or whatever? Take me back to wherever.

Also, one of the things they made a point of, and to be fair, like, I like Anson Mount. I think he's really good in Discovery. That's right. I'm glad he got another chance. Me too. Because quite frankly, no good. But it's been mentioned that one of the ideas was that he would have like a, there would a voiceover so you'd hear his thoughts and they went you know what we want to be inclusive so we're going to make this we're going to make this sign language so for more inclusive you know

for our for our deaf viewers but the thing is as we as we discovered before the show what's the twist on that it's not real sign language they made it up if they're speaking regular earth english it can just be one of the many variations on sign language yeah if that's what you're aiming for maybe don't just do lazy like hand tapping like because it's nothing like there's no indication from what he's doing you can't tell what he's saying unless someone's like oh he's saying this shut up i mean shut your hands up uh well also if we're talking funny scenes another one of the the hilarious scenes is when Medusa gets a head shave. And she's like, oh, my hair.

My terrible wig. In retrospect, one of the worst wigs. I mean, they CGI some of it sometimes. But also, like, their powers don't really reflect what they have in the comics because Black Bolt's got other stuff going on. Something to do with that tuning fork on his head. Yeah. Medusa can, like. He's got perfect pitch.

He's got perfect pitch. But if only he was allowed to sing, but he's not allowed to. And he owns all the pitch perfect movies. That's exactly right. Thank you very much. He was born with them. But like,

her hair's like, it's indestructible and it can stretch like a very long distance and do all sorts of different tactile things. But here it's like, she can choke you if she's in like, hair distance. Sure, yeah.

Which if that's the case, maybe grow your hair a little bit longer. Maybe grow your hair a little bit longer. Split ends though. Maybe she's got a problem with split ends. Maybe that is the problem, yeah. Which if that's the case, maybe grow your hair a little bit longer. Maybe grow your hair a little bit longer. Split ends though. Maybe she's got a problem with split ends. Maybe that is the problem, yeah. But look, the thing is

about this show, if you love people aimlessly wandering around Hawaii, this might be right up your alley. Yeah. I guess. If you've ever watched

the TV series Hawaii Five-0 and you're like, man, they really get a lot done solving all these crimes and such. I wish they didn't do anything like that. I wish their lives were meaningless ultimately. Here's the thing, though.

We're at a bit of a crossroads. We're at a dilemma, right? We're approaching like a golden age of television for Marvel. You know what I mean? They've got new shows ramping up all the time. That's right. On Disney+, not behind glass. This, though.

Well, no, behind glass, but valuable glass. Yeah, that's right. Not break glass in an emergency glass. This, though. Well, no, behind glass, but valuable glass. Yeah, that's right. Not break glass in an emergency glass. Exactly. The thing is, I'm conflicted because should we finish this in another episode? Right. Should we come back? Should we watch the remaining six big old episodes?

Yeah, so we're going to leave that up to you guys to decide. Do you want us to come back and finish this next week or even another week? We will, but we're not happy about it if we do. And it'll probably be just one episode where we smoosh them all in. But I guess I do want to know, how did Black Bolt escape the prison? I'm guessing he just spoke and blasted the wall out. Yeah, right? Yeah, because he can do that.

Very easily. He flips a car at one point. He matches his parents. Does he get bonked on the head? I think he does get bonked on the head. Wow. Maybe he gets a second bonk on the head and that restores everything

second bonk they should do that to Triton no not Triton Tattoo Face man who said he's going to kill that servant yep whatever his name is

that's right great Karnak thanks let's make sure we take note of that for next week if we come back anyways

just interestingly Jeff Loeb who was a big creative driving force behind this he dreamed of a world where where daisy from agents of shield would cross over with black bolt and say something like you aren't the king of me and we never got that tragic wow it's a shame we do in these next episodes we don't but uh can you imagine a world where that happens yep oh me too two actors in a room having one of them says one line.

I can imagine that, yeah. Me too. Yeah, I've seen TV before. Anyways, this has been Caravan of Garbage. We do this every week. And guess what? If you want to get

these episodes early, you can sign up to bigsandwich.co. They go up there early every week, along with a bunch of bonus stuff we do, including movie commentaries,

a comic book club. Ah, we make fun of clickbait. We absolutely do. And also, our time crapshore where we pick a year in pop culture and just dissect and go like, is this a good year? Sometimes it is.

Mostly so far it's been all right. That's right, exactly. I mean, you know, sometimes we stretch the definition of all right. Yeah. We're having fun with it. But that's all right too. That's right. Yeah.

We name some things in popular culture. We name them. We name them. We say them and then you go, oh yeah. I sort of remember that. That is fun. That is fun. Also we have a podcast called The Weekly Planet where we talk movies and comics and TV shows. That comes out every Monday and our first episode of the year is up

as of right now. Congratulations to us. Congratulations to us. We're on the ball. We've done it again. Yep, that's right. See you guys next week. Grabbed our jam you guys. We'll see you next week. Don't make us do this though. You can pick a different thing. I'm kind of intrigued. You're just like the viewers make me watch terrible things.

Do you think the dog's going to run around in Hawaii? No, I think it's going to disappear because the dog, remember? The budget. Oh, yeah. What if the dog does a surf?

That would be pretty rad. Pretty rad, right? Surf's up, dog, someone will say. Yep. Very good. Bad show. Shouldn't have made it.

This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. I mean, if you want. It's up to you. FX's The Veil explores the surprising and fraught relationship between two women who play a deadly game of truth and lies on the road from Istanbul to Paris and London. One woman has a secret. The other, a mission to reveal it before thousands of lives are lost.

FX's The Veil, starring Elizabeth Moss, is now streaming on Disney+.