The Weekly Planet - Max Payne - Caravan Of Garbage

Episode Date: May 23, 2024

We're kicking off a brand new series with a look at four terrible video game movies that are bad and did badly. Starting with 2008's Max Payne starring Mark Wahlberg. Aiming to capture the tragedy, action and frenetic energy of the original two games it absolutely does not. But at the same time as discussed it certainly takes the franchise to a new level. In a way. Thanks for watching our Caravan Of Garbage reviewSUBSCRIBE HERE ►► http://goo.gl/pQ39jNHelp support the show and get early episodes ► https://bigsandwich.co/Patreon ► https://patreon.com/mrsundaymoviesJames' Twitter ► http://twitter.com/mrsundaymoviesMaso's Twitter ► http://twitter.com/wikipediabrownPatreon ► https://patreon.com/mrsundaymoviesT-Shirts/Merch ► https://www.teepublic.com/stores/mr-sunday-movies The Weekly Planet iTunes ► https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-weekly-planet/id718158767?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4 The Weekly Planet Direct Download ► https://play.acast.com/s/theweeklyplanetAmazon Affiliate Link ► https://amzn.to/2nc12P4SUBSCRIBE HERE ►► http://goo.gl/pQ39jNVideo Edition ► https://youtu.be/9qubm5z66pcHelp support the show and get early episodes ► https://bigsandwich.co/Patreon ► https://patreon.com/mrsundaymoviesJames' Twitter ► http://twitter.com/mrsundaymoviesMaso's Twitter ► http://twitter.com/wikipediabrownPatreon ► https://patreon.com/mrsundaymoviesT-Shirts/Merch ► https://www.teepublic.com/stores/mr-sunday-movies The Weekly Planet iTunes ► https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-weekly-planet/id718158767?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4 The Weekly Planet Direct Download ► https://play.acast.com/s/theweeklyplanetAmazon Affiliate Link ► https://amzn.to/2nc12P4 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So we've figured out the next series of videos that we're going to be doing for Caravan of Garbage. We're very excited. I tell you what, and look, we didn't get here by chance. The title flows perfectly. I've even written it down. Badly made movies that did badly at the box office. That's right. B-M-M-T-D-B-A-T-B-O.

Hashtag that thing that we said. There's four of them also, and they're all video game movies. What bad video game movies? I shan't be believing it. Some worse than others. But I tell you what, this is a good one to start with because I love synergy, I love search engine optimization. Now with a new Mad Max movie coming out, people are going to be furiously consuming all things

Mad Max. Okay, sure. And then I assume by chance they'll stumble across Max Payne somehow. They'll get through everything and then they'll type in Max, what else? And they'll get to the 2008. More Max stuff, more stuff with Max in it.

Minus HBO Max. Exactly. Okay. Oh, we're also doing this because Borderlands is coming out at some point and that's probably People are jazzed. Yeah, so why not just do some movies that are probably of equal quality Is everybody excited for Borderlands retirement home? For some reason I love Cate Blanchett. What's she doing in this? I mean, she's the youngest person in that movie. Yes. It's crazy So this movie came out in 2008, which is the period where you and I saw every movie.

Oh yeah. But I didn't see this. Oh leave a like, leave a like. I didn't see this. No I didn't see it either. Because it looked bad? It looked bad. I was a big fan of the series.

I loved Max Payne 1 and 2. Did you get onto the third one? Yeah I did eventually. Yeah many years later. It's a different studio. It's Rockstar. It's kind of a departure, but it looks great and still played pretty good. But I remember loving the game because it was essentially like a hard-boiled detective game

Yeah, but it had the matrix bullet time in it. That was the game mechanic They took the mechanic from the game into the matrix. It's right four years earlier. That's right. That's how they did it That's kind of a wild thing to do though Because those games are based on the John Woo action flicks of the 90s like your hard boiled and whatever and then this is an adaptation of those games so it's like twice removed from the original thing. Yeah and I think I didn't see this initially because it looked like too much of a departure from the games.

Yeah which it sort of is. Sort of leaned into the supernatural a little bit. Yeah, I don't know. It's a little bit John Constantine 2005 in moments. Yeah. Tell you what though, like we've been watching some good stuff this year We've been riding high. We've done the Mad Max movies. We did the Planet of the Apes trilogy the newer one We did the Zorro Duology, that's right. This was like being in a car accident It felt like I was just walking along going to get something for lunch and I got hit with a brick. Like this was the shock of it

Macy's. Something like this. Something so boring and bland. I don't think I felt as strongly about this as you did but it isn't good. Like it's okay what Khalil and they've done they've wanted to go Sin City. Yeah. Which came out a few years beforehand, but they didn't want to commit to the incredible production requirements of that movie. You know, all on green screen, elaborate makeup, iconic characters. Iconic looks.

Iconic looks. So they've just gone, what if we strip it down to the basics? Just put a couple of people in trench coats and do some digital snow or whatever Yeah, absolutely. Well, you've made a boring movie then haven't you? I love the character of Max Payne in this because he's just a police desk clerk who always carries at least three guns at a time Including one that's a revolver. That's also a shotgun. Oh, yeah that one in case I don't know

Maybe he needs to obliterate some files or some toilet stalls in quick succession Absolutely, he's a real man of mystery at one point There's a scene where he we cut to him and a coffee pot is boiling on the stove Oh, and then he just leaves why'd you make that? Why'd you make the coffee if you would straight-up gonna leave? Are you bad at time management? Is that why your family are dead? Well, he did say if I was 10 minutes earlier my family wouldn't be dead Maybe that's it. Maybe maybe he made the coffee and then he came in too late his family were killed He's a man

He's he's burdened by a past where his his family were killed his wife and his child were killed under mysterious Circumstances and he's decided from that point forward to not display any motions at all ever it's working for him though Isn't it except that one when he takes drugs and he goes BWAH and fire appears behind him. BWAH and then... That was the drugs doing the heavy lifting, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Really.

God, so Mark Warburg, he wasn't and isn't a video game guy. I watched a bunch of interviews for this. Hilarious, by the way. Loved all of them. He said that this movie does the game justice and then takes it to another level because he's got like an addictive... Is the level below? It's a level below isn't it? He said... He didn't say a higher level did he? No he certainly didn't. He's sneaky this guy, he's like right up. Yeah so because he didn't

want to get addicted to video games he watched his friend play through the Max Payne video games. His turtle probably. Probably his turtle. Probably whoever his turtle is in real life. It might be the guy who plays turtle. Might be the guy who plays turtle. Jerry Ferrara? Yep. Yeah and Mark Warburg also called this the hardest PG-13 ever released. Is Temple of Doom PG-13? Because that's probably harder than this. Yeah is it? Maybe. Or maybe that's the thing that kicked off PG-13. I think it is yeah. We talked about it it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The thing about him, and you mentioned this, he's so stoic throughout the whole thing. He's more unhinged and driven in the other guys than he is this movie.

He's just playing it real flat, real low key. There's a moment where he storms into Chris O'Donnell's office and Chris O'Donnell goes to call security and he picks up the phone to like throw it, but it's really just kind of like yeah So I guess I'll go through this I reckon maybe he thought they were gonna fix it in post They were gonna add some like Sin City style like big splash kind of thing to bullet time Well, maybe that was gonna add some bullet time to it. I don't know. I was speaking of Chris O'Donnell

You know what this movie I think is attempting to give us the feel of like, you know An old timey hard-boiled detective story and there's you know, there's there's a conspiracy boiling up In the in the main streets kind of thing But it felt to this entire movie felt to me like a boring mystery It felt to me. Oh, is it gonna be the corporate guys or the criminal guys? Yeah, or is it gonna be the corporate guys and the criminal guys working together? It felt to me like an episode of a scooby-doo cartoon You know where you're watching us an old scooby-doo cartoon

And you know which bookshelf is gonna turn around to reveal the scary ghost because it's drawn differently than all the other bookshelves In the scene it's exactly like that because it's like oh is the assistant to the CEO of the big Pharmaceutical company somehow involved in distributing this deadly drug to the streets? Yeah, because it's Chris O'Donnell Otherwise it'd be a random guy Obviously, he's gonna come back later and he's gonna be behind always Max Payne's like kindly a vuncular retired police guy Is he is he somehow gonna be mixed up in this? Yeah, cuz it's Beau Bridges Yeah, I was speaking of there's so many stars in this.

Something I appreciate. There is a lot of stars in this. Chris O'Donnell is in this. Beau Bridges is in this. Chris Ludacris Bridges is in this. Do you think they're brothers? Yes, I do. Probably, one of them got the other one at the job,

I reckon. Donald Logue is in this, who I love. I love Donald Logue. I watched this and I'm like, oh my God, do you remember that show Terriers? I love Terriers. He's great in Gotham as well Oh, yeah, it's in so many good things. Blade one. Oh, he's in Blade one. He gets his face pushed into a train

Oh my god. There's nothing like that in this movie. No, absolutely not. Push his face against a train Yeah, I agree push his face into a train and it's interesting because both Jeff Bridges and Beau Bridges played iconic villains in 2008 Jeff Bridges in Iron Man, Beau Bridges in whatever character he is in this. God, I just fondly remember both of them. But yeah, it does feel like you're kind of going through the motions of this bog-standard murder mystery and then it gets to the point where about an hour in they decide to do some of the action stuff and it's not dreadful. Yeah, I think some of it- It's alright.

There's some nice looking shots in this, albeit a bit cliched. There's a nice shot where you see somebody wielding a gun in the snow and it's kind of the snow's popping down and you see and you... Yeah. You know, that looks pretty cool. And there's a moment where... That dude gets pulled out the window? Yep. There's a moment where Max Payne mows down a bunch of cops. Oh yeah.

And at the end of the movie I'm like, I tell you what, he killed a lot of cops, didn't he? And I couldn't tell you if all of them were supposed to be corrupt. No. But at the end, in the post credits, Max isn't in prison. So I guess they all were. And he's alive. Yeah. Even though he got multiple bullets in him.

Which I guess is like the video game. Also his outfit is wrong. Yeah. Leather jacket and a black turtleneck? That's not Max Payne. What are we doing here? At one point he is wearing a tie at a funeral. That's also Not Mad Max Max Payne whatever his name is. Just I didn't care for it And you know what I'll tell you this the CEO of 3D Realms Scott Miller. He felt the same way I want to get to specifically what they thought of that towards the end

But in getting this going this movie apparently met a lot of resistance from rockstar games because they bought the IP at this point Oh, and they were like this is gonna. Yeah, this is gonna take this to another level No, they said this is gonna hurt us So apparently they made serious attempts including legal to try and prevent this movie from being made and were non-cooperative in providing materials That would help with pre-production. So maybe this has something to do with why this is like this. We will not give you the iconic tie from Max Payne. We will not allow Mark Wahlberg anytime with Sam Lake, the face of Max Payne, to get him to teach him how to do the Max Payne face.

The Max Payne face. You're not gonna do that? Mmm. It's like, mmm. Yeah, it's, mmm. He still can do it. Yeah, he's doing it. He's doing it. I love Sam Lake. Yeah. I think he's doing it. Still what I love Sam like.

Yeah. I think he's the best. You know why I knew this was PJ 13 also is because the new drug in this, there's always a new drugs. Yeah. You need- I want a new drug.

Yeah. That's Huey Lewis, he needs. Should have put him in this. He could have done a soundtrack. He could have totally done a soundtrack. It's a drug you drink. Whereas if you snorted it or injected it or something like that, that bumps it up immediately into something else.

Oh yeah, that's true. Speaking of, so the plot of this movie largely revolves around, we eventually learn that Max Payne's wife and child were killed because his wife worked at the pharmaceutical company that developed a drug and Beau Bridges, who also works at the company, he has decided that he's going to distribute that drug on the streets and somehow make money out of it. But he's head of security or something. Yeah.

He's not big business all the time. But also, it's explained in the movie that the drug was developed for the military and 1% of the people who take it feel a strong sense of invincibility and become better soldiers and 99% of people have a really, really bad time. So I'm not quite sure how this would go in like the party scene. Like imagine if you go to a really dirty nightclub and there's a guy there and he's like, all right, I could say some weed and you'll feel real mellow or I could say some cocaine and you'll feel like the coolest guy in the room.

Or I could sell you Valkyrie, which you drink. So that's convenient but also it makes most people feel like they're being pursued through the streets by invincible winged demons that'll make you leap off a building. And I think you might be like, I'll have a glass of water actually, I'm gonna drive later. Also I feel like the effects of this drug, they're kind of weak as piss. It's just like shadows.

And you think there's some shadows. Like there are drugs that exist that you can take safely, like acid. Not that I'm saying you should. That we're- You're on acid right now. Maybe I am. We're not even recording this. I'm not even here.

I never existed. But why would you take this? What are the benefits other than you see some shadows and you go, ugh, it sucks. It's a bad drug. Nobody would take it. And also the 1% of people who take it who become invincible, they're not bulletproof. No. Because there's a recurring villain in this who is stalking Max for a variety of reasons. We see him mostly in the show Prison Break.

That's exactly right. And he's sort of standing in the background in a few scenes. And then at the end, there's a big knock down drag out fight with him and Max. And the bad guy's all shirtless and he's all a big tough guy. And then Bo Bridges, Bo Bridges of all people just shoots him once and he goes down. Not even two bullets. Yeah. I thought it'd be one of those scenes where he takes a bullet and he keeps walking and they have to empty the magazine.

No, one bullet. One bullet. Maybe they did initially. It's a bad drug, I think. I agree it's a bad drug. It makes you feel invincible, but you're not. They should drop it on the enemy. So they think they're invincible and then just charge. But they're not. They're not.

Yeah, you're not wrong. But Max is kind of invincible when he takes it. I thought he was wearing body armor, but he's just being shot. That's true. Yeah, I don't know. I didn't realize that it made you invincible-ish because I think it sort of does, but it doesn't. It's interesting, isn't it?

It mostly makes you leap off a building. Or it actually attracts real demons? Well- It's vague. Okay, there is a supernatural element to this and I tell you what, when Mark Wahlberg takes the drug, oh just before that, there's a moment where he's slow motion shoots a shotgun over his head and it's really funny and the guy shooting at him misses him by quite a long way. Yeah, like ten feet repeatedly and he's got the high ground advantage

this bad, he's got a machine gun. Yeah man. It's crazy. But I guess you're not expecting a guy to fall backwards, do a trust fall backwards with a shotgun in slow motion. You're expecting him to move in regular motion, not slow motion. No you're right. So anyway, Mark Wahlberg takes the drug and then he brings big Wahlberg energy to it. The kind of energy you expect from a man who said he could stop 9-11 if he was there. Those are his words. He didn't say he'd stop 9-11, he said it wouldn't have gone down the way it did. So based on

this movie, probably worse. So just to be clear, it still would have happened. But worse. Another level. Would have gone to another level. So I think though, a lot of this movie is practical and real sets. You can see that, you get a sense of it. I think it does capture a feel very well. It's got a visual flair. But then when it goes full supernatural, not as much.

It kind of loses... Well, it never had it. But let's just... It goes in a different direction which is worse, I feel. I don't know, is that just me? But they needed something. If they couldn't do the Sin City vibe, they needed something to put in the trailers, right? And if it's just Mark Wahlberg and Bo Bridge's standing in some shadows, that's not very interesting, is it?

Oh man, do you remember the bit where they flashback to when you realize Bo Bridge has killed his wife and child? That's right. I thought- You see Bo Bridge's guilty face in like a child's mobile? Yeah. Ben and Lawrence, can you just play this scene in its entirety? Did yours start a dramatically? Because I was watching this on streaming, I went back and did the same thing twice where it cut really hard. No, I don't know. Two or three times during that scene. All right, we're going to play it and if it's there, it's there and if it's not, it's not. All right. And also it's, it's, it's golden yellow because of it's these precious memories of a,

of a better time, not because they live next to the sun I guess. Maybe they did. Maybe the sun moved out and was replaced by the moon. I just want to mention some weird weather moments. Weird weather moments? Yeah yeah. Okay sure. So there's a moment where Jeff Bridges' brother is killed by Max Payne but it's just as he

steps into the snow and I think you mentioned this but there's too much snow on the gun. Oh I see. Way too much snow. Because they had to do a bunch of takes probably. No, I think they just piled up the snow. This will look cool if there's more snow. Maybe it's all the cocaine that people aren't using anymore because they've got the drug that kills you now.

And they're like, I don't need this. And they just throw it out the windows of their skyscrapers, you know? You might be right. And the other is there's a moment where Donald Logue and Mark Wahlberg get out of the car in the rain to have a conversation and they're just standing in the rain having a conversation. But like get back in the car or huddle under a stoop. Why are you standing in the rain in a turtleneck?

Like it would get into your neck. It's just wouldn't be good Mason. I don't like it. Did you notice in the post credits, he's graduated from turtleneck to just regular t-shirt? And I think that's symbolic of him. I think the turtleneck was was symbolizing how he felt vulnerable No, and now he's gotten over the death of his family or whatever. He can just he's casual now He's casual and casual now. Anyway, it's time for trivia pain. It's really

Truvy I got two bits I'd love to hear both of bits. There's a lot to know Truvy, I got two bits. I'd love to hear both the bits. There's a lot to know. James McCaffrey, the voice of Max Payne in the video game, makes a cameo as the FBI agent at the start called Lieutenant Jim Brevara. Interesting, okay.

So that's good. And this movie is also voted online as one of the worst movies ever made. Now I look for that. I couldn't find the specific poll. Sure, uh-huh. But apparently somewhere at some point, this was voted as the worst movie ever made. Which I don't think is true.

No. It's boring. It's not the best movie ever made. It's probably not the best movie ever made. It's on another level from the best movie ever made. It's just on a different level to that. It certainly is, isn't it? Hang on, I forgot the box office numbers.

Love your numbers. You love your little numbers. Thanks, man. Now on a budget though of 35 million dollars this made 85.8 million this did turn a Tidy-tiny little profit good for them, which is why they were talking about a sequel to this Obviously it was hinted at in the post credits I would have loved when he walked into the bar and there's like the reveal that there's somebody else in the bar and I'm like, oh, who's it going to be? One of the demons?

I thought, I don't know. I thought, is there another iconic Max Payne character that we could introduce? Remember at the end of Uncharted? Oh, Mila Kunis is in this by the way. Yeah, Mila Kunis. He turns around, it's Mila Kunis. She's in it for a few minutes. Yeah.

Does she get an action sequence? I can't remember. Yeah, I think there's a bit where she's holding some guns. Nice. And that's cool. That's cool. Yeah, I think there's a bit where she's holding some guns. Nice. Nice. That's cool. Yeah, I just expected something else. I don't know, like even just put in another video game character. Sam Lake. Yeah.

Yes, Sam Lake. Your brother's here. Brrrr. Still in the face. Put in Conkers. From Conkers Bad Food. Oh hell yeah. That's right. These are all good. So I watched again many many interviews from 2008 in the lead up to the release of this movie Uh-huh. There's a few things that Mark Wahlberg says the sequel has to be better or as good as the first

All right, which I think is easy if you could easily make a movie as good as this I don't think that's a problem. Yeah, but another thing is I watched him say I've never done a sequel before But it would have to be good or better to do it again I watched him say that exact thing in several interviews and here's a montage They're just media trade Mason these Hollywood people. They're not real. Oh my god, not real like me and you They're just learning their lines and they're saying them to saying them Mesa and dude Yeah Now director John Moore he announced there was a plan to release a director's cut of the film called the gamer dedicated cut

But these these plans are never materialized, but there is an unrated version which you may have watched Chris O'Donnell gets squibbed more. That's one of the Which you don't say but I thought this is a good thing to end on 3d realms spoke to edge Magazine slash website. I loved edge magazine back in the day slash website slash website. Slash website. Yeah. It was no electronic gaming monthly. I tell you that much. It was all right. No game pro. No it wasn't. No it was different. It's no NMS. Nintendo magazine system. It was no mean machines. I'll stop. They spoke to 3D Realms CEO about this movie, about what he thought. And this about what he thought. And this is what he said.

There are several fundamental story flaws in that film that had me shaking my head in bewilderment. One of the bad guys, Jack Lupino, lamely killed by one of the film's non-action characters. Did you write this, Mohsen? The entire time we're told that the drug makes one in a hundred people superhuman, yet Lupino doesn't demonstrate this in the least. It should have taken a hail of storm of bullets to bring him down, plus it should have been Max that kills him.

That's right. A big problem with the film is that we do not know what is driving Max until we see the flashback scene showing him coming home and finding his family murdered. In the game he put the scene at the front of the story for a reason, saving this scene until mid-film is a narrative blunder because the audience needs to empathize with Max in order to like him and understand what drives him. I liked him anyway. Yeah, just kidding. I think he sucks. Maybe I'm biased though. Maybe you are. Because I find my Paul Berg loathsome. I find him loathsome James. He's a loathsome asshole James is what he is.

In my opinion. Mason, this is the man who could have stopped 9-11. We might need him. That's true. If there's a big crisis. I'm just saying, we might have to turn to him at one point. And I think he might remember that you called him a loathsome asshole.

Right? Anyways, do you know these videos are early sometimes? I do, they're early. And by sometimes I mean always at BigSandwich.co. This is like our Patreon service. It's if people wanna help support this show, keep it ad free. I mean like, not YouTube ads, they're running.

Yeah. You know what I mean. Oh hell yeah, yeah. Sponsored, et cetera. But there's so much bonus stuff there. There's early videos as mentioned, there's video game let's plays, there's so much bonus stuff there. There's early videos as mentioned. There's video game. Let's plays. There's bonus podcasts That's right. There's movie commentaries And here's the hint towards next week's video. What is it?

Prince of Persia? I want to say. So swarthy. So swarthy. He's so swarthy in that movie. An Iranian or whatever Yeah, probably. Whatever he's supposed to be in that. So yeah, check that out if you want Also, we have a podcast called The Weekly Planet where we talk movies and comics and TV shows. We do that every Monday. We talk the news of the week. We do a movie review. We do other things, don't we? That's right. It's on its own YouTube channel. It's on its own YouTube... It's on its own YouTube channel. It's on Spotify. It's on Apple. It's on others probably. That's right. Put it in your podcatcher. Do it. Put it in there. Put it in.

Alright, thanks everyone. I grabbed our gem you guys. See you next week. I'm still, I'm just hung up. Did he, does he kill more cops than he does bad guys in this movie? I'm pretty sure he does. Yes, Mason. It's wild.

It's saying something. It's social commentary. That is so true, isn't it?