The Weekly Planet - Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief - Caravan Of Garbage

Episode Date: August 28, 2025

In the midst of Harry Potter fever every studio was looking for their own potential young adult franchise to bring to the big screen. In 2010 20th Century Fox settled on Rick Riordan's Percy Jackson series, beginning with Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief. They even brought on board Christopher Columbus, the director of the first two Harry Potter movies. Sadly the magic wasn't replicated and what we got was a muddled half hearted attempt of an adaptation that fell short in almost every way minus the incredible cast of barely trying known names. Thanks for watching our Caravan Of Garbage reviewSUBSCRIBE HERE ►► http://goo.gl/pQ39jNHelp support the show and get early episodes ► https://bigsandwich.co/Patreon ► https://patreon.com/mrsundaymoviesJames' Twitter ► http://twitter.com/mrsundaymoviesMaso's Twitter ► http://twitter.com/wikipediabrownPatreon ► https://patreon.com/mrsundaymoviesT-Shirts/Merch ► https://www.teepublic.com/stores/mr-sunday-movies The Weekly Planet iTunes ► https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-weekly-planet/id718158767?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4 The Weekly Planet Direct Download ► https://play.acast.com/s/theweeklyplanetAmazon Affiliate Link ► https://amzn.to/2nc12P4 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of Caravana Garbage where we're taking a look at a franchise that didn't take off. But they're trying again? They're trying again, and that seems to be working, but it's TV, so it doesn't count, because TV's not real, and Disney Plus is ruining everything for everybody, and Marvel is dead, and we're dead, inside and outside. That's right. Congratulations, Mason, you're a ghost.

That's cool, I think. I think so. All right, I can do ghost stuff? Yep. Like, make videos on YouTube. Absolutely. Are you saying that most of the famous creators on YouTube? you are dead and goes, wow, okay.

We can finally enter that upper echelon. Uh-huh. Mr. Beast, more like, um, Mr. Deceased? Nice, good. That's teamwork. That's teamwork from two dead guys. And good, finally.

We've finally got the back and forth of two dead guys. Oh, Mason. Please leave a like because we're talking about Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief and the Philosopher's stuff. What is it again? Sometimes it's Percy Jackson and Lightning Thief Sometimes they call it Percy Jackson And the Olympians colon

The Lightning Thief I don't know which it is It's that one Is it? Yes The book is only called The Lightning Thief Is this based on a book

I never would have known It's based on a book It's a post on a book James Mason It's based on a series of books There's five books that started in 2005 Sorry there were five before this movie came out Okay

And as you probably realize This is just Harry Potter It's Harry Potter It's Harry Potter, it's Twilight, they're trying to find a new thing, like kid wizards, what else could work, what's kids, what's kids, but magical. Greek kids, oh my God. And first they were like, what about just kids on Obita? Just going to raves and so on and so forth, but not all that's PG, you know what I mean? But you can tell this is based on a book because stuff just happens and then people just roll with it.

Yeah, you just accept it. We'll get into it in a minute, but yeah, this is just, they're just looking for the new thing and they were like, All right, demi-gods. People just frantically going through old books of just myth and folklore and whatever and being like kid hobgoblins. What about that? Maybe. Yeah?

Kid Baba Yaga's. Well, we're going to do old barba yagas later. Oh, absolutely. That's John Wick. Yeah, yeah, that's true. So the books are from Rick Riordan. He also hated the script for this movie. And we'll get into what he thinks of the final outcome.

But he did say that he accepted a paycheck from the studio for the rights. And he is grateful that people to start. discovered the books because of these films. That's great. But he also hates them for other reasons, which we'll talk about. And he also, he's grateful he discovered buying a Ferrari with the money from the... No doubt. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I just feel like this doesn't set anything up, right? Well, first of all, I mean, it sets up the standard trope, which is Percy Jackson. He's got a secret. Well, no, no, no, James. He's first, he's just a normal dumb kid. He doesn't know he's got a secret. He's a normal dumb idiot kid. He's just a normal kid with a haircut of stand-up comedian Tignito.

actually that's not true he's got the Zach Ephron hair he's got the Zach Ephron hair that everybody thought was normal at the time but now if you're like if you saw a man or a boy but especially a man who kept that haircut from that era you'd be like how what

how are you doing that imagine Zach Ephron an adult man now he's still got that haircut he's doing the broccoli cut I don't know if you know that I didn't know that no he's not but he should

yeah yeah as a man who's never really had a hairstyle of any kind it's just sort of there how did you even do that back in the day. I think you had to have a particular type of hair and have it feathered about. Okay. It was hair spray and like a strainer, right?

I would say so a lot of that. Let's ask Pete Wentz. Just look at early YouTubers. They're all doing it. Schmoss. Smoss. Smoss. Whatever they're called.

Schmosh. Smosh. But anyway, he's just a normal kid except he's got dyslexia and everybody calls him out of being a stupid moron. And he thinks he's a stupid moron. Yeah. But this movie, this movie,

even does that thing. Teachers never do this in real life, I'm sure. Well, this teacher is a bat woman, obviously. It's revealed later she's a bat woman. But she does the thing where she goes, does anybody know the answer? You, the one kid who doesn't have his hand up. Don't treat a kid like that. Let him learn on his own. She's a bat, Mason.

She is a bat woman, exactly. But anyway, it turns out, like all of these movies and books and TV shows that are trying to ride on the coattels of Harry Potter, he's actually the most special boy. He's actually the son of Greek god, which makes him the demigod.

That's right. Sean Bean. He's not the son of Sean. Sorry, no, he's not the son of Sean Bean. He's son of that other guy from Dog Soldiers and Grey's Anatomy. Exactly, that's right. He's the son of Poseidon. This does make significant changes from the book.

In the book, he's 12. Ares plays a big part of it. There's a whole lot of other things going on that they kind of brush over. There's no time. But also, if you're going to do a five movie franchise, don't start when your lead actor is verging on 18 and everybody else is mid-20s. That's not a good way to do it. I know it's hard to cast children

like they did in the Harry Potter series and it's a miracle that that worked out as it did. But just out the gate wrong. Terrible idea. Also, I love the fact that seemingly everyone in his life is in on this except him. One of his teachers, not the bat one, but the other one, Pierce Brosnan.

By the way, Pierce Brosnan and Sean Bean in this, re-teamed after Golden Eye. You're like, boy, are they going to have some fun interactions? No, they're not. They never meet. Do they mean the next one? I don't know. I know for a fact that Pierce Brosson is not in the next one, but I don't know about Sean Bean.

We'll get to what person. Anyway, his teacher knows that he's a demigod. That bat lady knows he's a demigod. His mom knows he's a demigod. But everybody knows, and they've just let him suffer and think he's a dumb idiot who can't read. But actually he can read, but only when he's in ancient Greek locations or something. He can only read ancient Greek.

He's hardwired for that, which sucks also. But like so much of this. movie, when we go through the action beats of this movie, they would have been able to get through this so much easier if anybody had given him even any slight clue as to what his origins were. Yeah. They're just kind of like, you know, actually don't worry about that you can't read and you have ADHD because that actually means you're an incredible warrior or whatever. They all just kind of wink knowingly at him and he's like, I don't know what's going on. And then he just takes it as given any roles with it because again, there's no time to establish

any of this. There's a moment where he thinks his mother has been burnt to ash. and he just moves on. Like a man who knows what's going to happen because he's read the script in advance and knows that she's not actually dead, she's just been sent to the underworld. But he's just like, oh yeah, whatever. A Minotaur got her.

I'm going to school in the forest. My dad's Joey Pants. Shout out to Joey Pants, by the way. Shout out to the one, James. Shout out to all the wonderful adult actors who are absolutely phoning it in for a paycheck at this movie. Catherine Kina, incredible actor, phoning it in.

She does a lot of pretending to get through a wall. Yeah, yeah. Learn her lines mourning of, I'm sure. Sean Bean, incredible actor, incredible wig, phoning it in. Pierce Brosnan, an incredible actor, incredible wig, phoning it in. He's got his incredible wig from died other day where he gets captured. That's exactly right. His wig and beard.

Steve Coogan, incredible wig, incredible leather vest, phoning it in. Joey Pants, wonderful actor, not, no wig. No, no. I love that he's taken on the role of a guy who's so. awful and smells so bad that none of the gods could find Percy Jackson. He clearly didn't read that. Oh, you think? I don't think

so. I think he did it. I think he embraced the stink. I reckon he's like, I'm not going to show. I'm going to go method on this. I'm just going to not show out. But that's just a Harry Potter thing also, because that's why Harry Potter has to go to his aunt and uncle, because there's a blood. Because they stink so bad. Yeah, there's blood magic or something and whatever.

And Harry Potter stole a bunch of shit also. Let's point fingers. If we're going to be pointing fingers, We can keep pointing fingers forever Let's do a video one day where we just keep pointing fingers forever So also So then basically

He's this normal kid who's dumb And he can't read And everybody thinks he sucks But he's good underwater He's good underwater He can breathe underwater His best friend's a goat His best friend is also a goat

But then This bat lady attacks him And she's like You stole the lightning bolt of Zeus I'm gonna get it or whatever And that's the lynchpin of this That's when you know something's going on You know what something's going on

Also there's a big man He becomes a small man at the start And he's made of water That's his dad Although maybe you'd be like Zeus's lightning bowl Is that somebody's cool hot rod? Maybe they think he stole a cool hot rod

Yeah You know, because he's a youth Sure, yeah But anyway, it's a real, God's a real And someone's stolen this lightning bolt And so he has to go He has to go to this camp

For children of the gods Where they all learn Studdoll off Just outdoor Hogwarts, man Why wasn't he there in the first place Because they were protecting him They were hiding him for some reason Because it's illegal

But the gods weren't going to that camp anyway Nah man, they can't go there because of magic except they can because the devil shows up but they can't no one can get in or they can't

and they can so put him there or just have him live in ignorance and sadness his whole adolescence or something the thing is Mason he doesn't need to go to that school

because he's immediately the best at everything all right they don't even train him they just give him a sword and go I don't know capture the flag

that's school by the way it's lethal capture the flag because at every moment because also the thing about this is obviously Harry Potter everybody's got a wand

and they go Alamakazoo or whatever and the other person goes oh I fell on my bottom right because that's mad and you can sort of cheat it you can be like

well not all magic is lethal or whatever but in this they don't have magic ones so it's just swords they're just attacking each other with swords and it's like

so many points especially in this capture the flag he would have died if he hadn't just happened to roll out of the way because if he's incredible godlike

whatever's that he doesn't know how it works but he's also got he's got water healing powers he's got water the force yeah yeah And sometimes his dad will send him a message that goes,

Touch the water. Oh, yeah, that was his dad. Yeah. But what I'm saying is it's... That feels like a thing they added on. Look, he's got water the force and water healing powers, but what I'm saying is if somebody chopped his head off during a game of capture the flag,

he's not going to be able to glue it back on with water, is he? No, he's probably not. He's dead, right? And this is where he meets another... Anabeth, who is another demigod. She's the daughter of a god, and she's a good-gagoo-g-g-g-girl. You can't believe it. And she's like, you, idiot.

Then they have a sword fight. Then they have a sword fight. And she nearly kills him. But luckily he touches the water or whatever. Then three others attack him one by one and he just walks up to the flag. What, aren't we all? Isn't captured the flag, you capture the flag and then you get it back to the base? Everybody's just standing around.

Is this the first time they've played this? Maybe. Pierce Prostin, who's the horse, by the way. You didn't explain this very well, I feel. Hmm. He was thinking about hay. He might have been thinking about hay man. I can't believe I have to keep looking at Pierce.

Piers Brosnan being a horse. What do you mean? I think you mean, what an incredible privilege. What a delight? What the highlight of my week to look at Pierce Broson, but he's a horse. Then you don't have to get chat, GPT, to invent it. It's already there. It's a lot of hardworking visual effects, guys, already did it.

Yeah, yeah. I wanted to see some behind the scenes because I'm like, God, I hope he's just wedged into a green box. Yeah. But he has blue screen legs with little extenders on the end, and he walks around and they add the rest of the horse, the horse's ass behind. him and whatever. That's great. God. And also, I saw an interview where he was like, the thing is when I was in the wheelchair, I don't know how that works either. Like, why does he have to be in a wheelchair, but it also hides the rest of the horse? Yeah, and also the goat legs guy. He has to be on crutches because he has goat legs. Yeah. But like, why? Just walk around, man. Just walk around, put shoes on, man. Yeah, put some shoes on.

There's a lot of scenes where very obviously they didn't want to draw the goat. They didn't want to put the goat legs on, so his waist up. stuff, baby, yeah. So anyway, they've got to go on some trials or something. Oh, yeah, they need three magic pearls. To go to, they've got to go to the underworld and to escape from the underworld. They're like, they think ahead and they need three magic pearls because then you smash the pearl, then you think, oh, I wish I was at home. I wish I was back at Hogwarts.

I mean, I mean magic camp, or whatever. And then you go back, so they have to go around the United States. They've got a magic map that shows them where the pearls are. Yeah, man. They get given a magic map by the most untrustworthy. From the third Winchester brother. Oh, is he? Oh, yeah.

That's great. You better believe it. He got taken out by a Wendigo, but then he came back in later seasons. Wow. Yeah. Which one killed God? What do they all kill God? I think they all just beat him up.

No, I didn't get that far, but that's probably what happened. Okay, that's great. Anyway, the least trustworthy demigods, like, you have a map and some magic shoes and stuff. I don't know, whatever. And also the shield. Oh, make sure you... That's a good one, but... Hang on to one.

You might need that. Maybe magic water the force isn't enough. Better hold on the shield and take it to the end. Underworld. Anyway, and then they have to go around the United States to various locations to get these magic pearls. They have to visit Uma Thurman channeling poison ivy. She's Medusa.

She's Medusa. Or a Medusa? Because he's the thing. Yeah, because a lot of the things that original Perseus does, he's the brother of Perseus, but, you know, a thousand years between them. He did all this, right? So is, I guess in like Dungeons and Dragons or like a fantasy role playing or video or whatever, there's probably a bunch of Medeus.

But I thought mythically there was only one Medusa. Because at one point, they tell him too late. They're like, don't look in her eyes because she'll turn you the stone or whatever. But then later, they cut her head off. And Annabeth is like, now remember, that'll still work, even if her head's been cut off. How do you know? Isn't there only one Medusa? Also, there's a moment where Annabeth is like, she's got put in the chokehold by Medusa.

And she's like, I don't know what to do. Don't you have a sword or something? Yeah, you just stab her. She's right there. She's right there. and she's monologuing. Just stab her. She's also,

Annabeth is supposed to be like the daughter of the god of tactics or something? Yeah. Come on. She had her eyes closed. Yep. But also you're tempted to open your eyes. I wouldn't.

If I was like, that's a snake woman. I'm not going to do that. Honestly, I'd probably be on my phone. I wouldn't even notice. Oh, I wouldn't be on my phone, Mason. I'd be on my Apple iPod. And I'd use it to reflect the Medusa. Because remember, reflections don't,

you can remember. you can look at the reflection it's fine it is amazing that no one including her had ever thought to behead that woman before like that's your go-to, straight up they'll kill anything it'll work on most things not a hydra

oh yeah wow wow don't put that in the kids head well that's the other thing because like is that like the hydra are there multiple ones because they're like no if you cut the head off then it makes more heads had that already happened

was it one head and then it got to this point and then stopped also So, again, like, maybe word Percy up on this ahead of time. Like, maybe as a kid, give him a book of Greek myths. Yeah. It's like, hey, there's a hydra. I feel like that's probably something I learned in primary school. You cut the head off a hydra.

And I'm not even the son of a Greek god. Nah, man, you're something else. Yeah. It's all right. I'm a mischievous limp is what I have. I mean, yeah, he's completely unaware of what he can do. He has powers, but even the movie doesn't really tell you what's going on. Like, I guess he's strong-ish.

Because he gets thrown around a bit. He can hold his breath. But in the books, he can breathe under water completely. Hydrogenesis, obviously, he can make a weapon with water. He figures out. Well, James, he doesn't need to make a weapon with water because he's got that pen that turns into a sword. Which is very, that's...

The pen is mightier than the sword. Thematically, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Does he ever need to breathe underwater for a long time? No, not in this one. Yeah. I guess there was that pen that turned into a sword, though. That's pretty good, yeah.

Anyway, they beat Medusa. They go to Vegas. They go to Vegas. They eat magic drugs and listen to poker face. That's true. And Annabeth again is like, I'm the god of tactics or whatever. Anyway, I better eat these poison flowers and stay here forever. Then they fight the Hydra guys.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anabeth tranquilizes like five guys. Why would that work on a guy that's the Hydra? It didn't. They got up. I guess it's true. Why would it work at all, though? That's what I'm saying.

Yeah, fair point. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But then they go to the entrance of hell and it's in the Hollywood sign, which is typical and true. So true, isn't it? So they go to hell and Steve Coogan's there and whatever. Yeah, he's Hades. He's Hades.

And it's always fun to see Steve Coogan. So look, no complaints here, obviously. Sure. I don't know. Then they leave. And then it's Luke. And they're flying around. Okay, but they've only got three pearls.

They go back with Percy's mother. And then they go back. And then it turns out, oh, but then it turns out in that shield, James, in that shield was the lightning bolt. Yeah, yeah, he did that. He did that. Yeah. What if, um, what if nobody

checked that shield? What if it didn't open? What if it didn't open? Maybe it was magic. Yeah, it probably was magic. It's probably magic now that I think about it. Uh, but anyway, so then they get the lightning bolt and then they go back to the real world. Mm-hmm.

And then they go. Luke's there. And he's, Luke's there and he's flying around. And he's like, it was me. He's like, it was me because I'm going to destroy all the gods and I'm going to be the new gods. And the heroes are like, well, don't. But I would say, what? Why not?

What have the old gods done lately? I mean, there's a big storm, so that's a big deal, I think. That's a thing that's happening. But like, who's to say the new gods are going to do a worse job than the old gods? You know what I mean? Maybe this guy's got a point. Yeah. What's Zeus done for us lately?

Not much. Yeah. Well, they go and visit Zeus at the end, and they're all just standing in a room waiting for the clock to tick over. And then what? They're just going to start killing each other. Because they're like, this clock's ticking down and we have to go to war. Just don't. But somebody stole something.

Yeah, but like. Like, so? Yeah. People steal from the supermarket all the time. All the regional managers don't get together and decide to kill each other, do they? Maybe they should. Maybe they should. There's weird Gulliver's travel style forced perspective and like size differences between gods and people.

And Percy Jackson meets his dad and he's like, I'm sorry, I'm a water guy. I'm not allowed to talk to my kids or whatever. Why not? Also, you're doing it now. Right? Like, what's the big deal? Yeah. I don't understand.

You're going to have to pay a fine after this? Sorry, Percy, I couldn't talk to you for about your whole life because I'd have to pay a hundred dollar fine, sorry. Yeah, but like, you're not allowed to talk to them and they're worried about they're becoming too powerful, but there's a school where they learn all this shit anyway. So, like, how does this help at all, this system that they've got going? And I'm sure it's in the books.

Sure. I'm sure they've figured it out, but I decided not to read the books and try and puzzle this out myself, and I haven't. I don't know what's going on. Wow, sounds like your only solution here is to read the book, and that's a little more change in Rickeriel? Ordon's pockets, isn't it?

Hey man, why not? Also, when he goes back to the school, it's that very Harry Potter thing where Pierce Brosnan's doing the Dumbledore of like a million points to Percy Jackson. You lied to me and you're ran away, but you're the best student I've ever had and now you're the king of the school

and what is the school? Just running around in swords. It's running around in swords, yeah, that's right. And amphora's one of those little jug things. Oh yeah, it's a bit of that, yeah. All the rooms are outdoors. That sounds nice. big all year round, that's not going to work, is it?

It's probably nice all year round. I mean, imagine you're trying to do sword class and there's just wind whipping through and rain, you know? I don't know, that sounds cool and dramatic to me. Lightning bolts. Yeah, that'd be pretty good. Thanks, Dad. Anyways, this is the reaction from Rick Riordan.

He called this movie his life's work going through a meat grinder. Damn. However, he said the problems with the movie lay with the script. He does not blame the actors and personally thinks that they're all quite talented. All of them? Oh, probably, actually. He said he felt sorry for them, and he even offered to revise the script without pay.

I hope this was on, like, the red carpet interview. I actually feel sorry for all these kids, honestly. Adults. Most of them are in their mid-20s. Of course, it makes sense that I feel like they launched it this way. It's even by, and we haven't mentioned this, it's Chris Columbus, who, among many other great works, directed the first two Harry Potter movies. So I understand what they're doing here.

But just no. Anyways, Mason, it's time for Percy Jackson and the Trivia Olympians, Colan, trivia, trivia, trivia, trivia. Whoa. Here we go. Uma Thurman interacted with several live snakes with the help of a snake wrangler in order to prepare for the role. She would hold the snakes and that helped her imagine how it might feel if she had snakes growing out of her head. Just do acting. I was going to say, just do some acting, yeah.

Just imagine that. I'm imagining it perfectly right now. Yeah, unless you've got like a colander with snakes poking out of it and you'll wear it on your head, I don't feel like that would give you any indication of how to do this role. Luke has seen playing Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 from 2009, but it's with a PlayStation controller, but it's actually, it's an Xbox game on the screen or whatever. And that's some game of stuff that I won't stand for.

That's right. I bet Smosh wouldn't be happy about that either. Or Shane Dawson, or whoever else was alive at this time and doing YouTube. In his disguise as Mr. Brunner, Kairon. Pierce Brosner? Thank you. Camoufles his horse legs

using a wheelchair and a blanket to cover them up without explaining how his horse legs fit in. In the original book, it's revealed that the wheelchair has magical powers allowing the horse legs

to turn into human legs and to sit down on it. That makes sense now, doesn't it? So it has magical powers that can turn your horse legs into human legs but then you have to sit down in the wheelchair.

Who built this? I don't know. Because it's not an ancient Greek thing, is it? No. Right? Just make it a button or something. Yeah.

And then you just walk around in your leg. So does that mean? he can walk with his human legs until he like goes too far from the chair at which point he falls over and then his horse legs spring out? Is this like a Professor X thing?

Is that what they're going for? Yeah, I think so, yeah. Yeah. I think it'd be funny if he had like, it's a wheelchair, but he has like a full horse cart on the back just to keep his legs in, just an enormous bundle of garbage behind him.

Amazing. Ray Winston is in this as Ares who's a major player in this book. He's seen at Olympus in some shot. but then in other shots he's just not in it. So presumably he had a larger role in this and they just wiped it all away. Great actor phoned it in,

wasn't even on screen for any significant amount of time. That's the win right there. That's brilliant work. Anyway, the box office for this on a budget of $95 million, it made $226.4. It's all right? It's a moderate success. And warranted its sequel three years later.

It's an Olympian success. No. And if you do want to see that video early, You can actually head over to big sandwich.com. Wow. That's not the only thing there, though. We've got video game let's plays. We've got movie commentaries.

We've got bonus podcasts. It's an Olympian amount of content. No. Oh. No, there is quite a lot of stuff there, Mason, though. We also have a podcast called The Weekly Planet Where We're talking movies and comics and TV shows that comes out every Monday. James, it would be a Sisyphian task to get through all that content

because you're always pushing that big ball up there. The ball's content. And you're like, man, this is actually quite a chore. I can't believe I paid $9 a month for this And then all the content collapses on you And you fall down the bottom of the hill And you have to start on the content again But that's content for you

That's content It'll kill you eventually It's right Thank you so much to Ben and Lawrence for the edit Thank you Ben and Lawrence I know that they're a big fan of this franchise Are they? I don't know

What are you throwing them on the bus there? Yeah Okay Brutal if true They only like this movie though This is their favourite movie Wow of all time Yeah probably

Of including all movies ever I agree with you Wow Wow interesting joint taste, Ben and Lawrence. Good for you guys. All right, thanks, everyone. Grab that jammy, guys.

We'll see you next week. Bye.