The Weekly Planet - Pixels - Caravan Of Garbage

Episode Date: March 30, 2023

With the release of The Super Mario Bros. Movie 2023 we've taken the time to go back and revist an absolute classic of th video game movie genre, Pixels from 2015. Despite having a stellar comedic cast, an excellent director and an intriguing premise it turned into the movie Pixels from 2015 which is unfortunate. Regardless, thanks for watching our Caravan Of Garbage review!SUBSCRIBE HERE ►► http://goo.gl/pQ39jNVideo Edition ► https://youtu.be/Z07PDIjbXT4Help support the show and get early episodes ► https://bigsandwich.co/Patreon ► https://patreon.com/mrsundaymoviesJames' Twitter ► http://twitter.com/mrsundaymoviesMaso's Twitter ► http://twitter.com/wikipediabrownPatreon ► https://patreon.com/mrsundaymoviesT-Shirts/Merch ► https://www.teepublic.com/stores/mr-sunday-moviesThe Weekly Planet iTunes ► https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-weekly-planet/id718158767?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4The Weekly Planet Direct Download ► https://play.acast.com/s/theweeklyplanetAmazon Affiliate Link ► https://amzn.to/2nc12P4 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So, who will you rise for? Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. for. Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. Mason, what do you consider to be

the definitive movie about and featuring video games? That's right, it's the movie Pixels. It's not! From 2015. You try, I was trying to think of any movie but Pixels. Let me ask you this. Yes? It's more of a statement go on

it's not that good this movie is it it's a bad movie you're gonna ask me to leave a like it's a bad movie look to quote another uh famous movie about video games the wizard sure pixels james it's so bad yeah it's just bad and i hated it yeah and you made me watch it i've avoided this movie for the better part of a decade. Because why would I watch it? Why would anyone watch it? Okay, here's why you might initially watch it, right? Okay.

Because the background of this movie is it's based loosely off a short film featuring some pretty impressive CGI for the time when it came out in 2010. It was called Pixels. It's still on YouTube. It was by Patrick Jean. And it's just a quite fun idea of look at all these pixelated video games invading a big city and everything gets pixelated and whatever. So when I saw that and then they were like, oh, Christopher Columbus is going to make this into a movie.

Christopher Columbus did Home Alone and the first two, Harry Potter and Mrs. Doubtfire. Oh, yes. And so to me, I feel like the concept of an alien invasion who have borrowed the aesthetic of 80s and I guess late 70s video games to conquer Earth. This could be Ghostbusters, right? Because there are no good Ghostbusters movies. And we both think that, don't we?

Oh, no. I should say sequels, and I stand by that. But this idea is something. Absolutely. And when they looked at the oeuvre of Christopher Columbus and they went, oh, the delightful tale of a little boy and he defends his home from invaders, but in a funny way involving tricks and traps

and little witty one-liners and so forth. You know what we could get him to direct? A scene that implies that Josh Gad's character ejaculates into a hard light hologram built by aliens of a beautiful woman that was originally Q-Bert. Yep. We're doing this bit, are we? Yeah, we're starting with this.

We're jumping straight to this. We're jumping straight to this. Because I had this at the very end of our dance. I also had it at the very end, but you were like, ooh, Christopher Columbus, he makes movie magic. But what he also makes, Josh Gad's character impregnates this hologram of a woman who doesn't speak, but they're married or something.

Maybe they're living in sin. I don't know. Good question. But the Qbert alien hologram DNA is so strong that she gives birth to a bunch of Q-bits or it kills her in childbirth. I don't know. Well, that's possible. And it also overwrites his DNA because they are pure Q-bit.

So basically, sure, let's talk about this aspect of it, right? And then we'll do the rest. You know what? That's what people are. Look, having never seen this before, just seeing it today, this is what people wanted us to talk about this aspect of it, right? And then we'll do the rest. You know what? That's what people are. Look, having never seen this before, just seeing it today, this is what people wanted us to talk about. So let's get it out of the way first, and we'll see what the viewership drop-off is like after this.

So he's in love with a- He's in lust. He's in lust, I should say, with a fictional video game character. And I say fictional because most of the video games and characters, but not all, that appear in this are based on real video games. And real people. And real people, I guess. Like the Mario Brothers.

Like the Mario Brother. There's one of them. It's Jumpman. It's before he was Mario Mason. And the one that he falls in love with is a pixelated 80s arcade character called Lady Lisa. And she comes to Earth at one point when all hell breaks loose because Peter Dinklage cheats and whatever.

We've jumped way too far ahead. Who's on the back foot now? Who regrets making me watch a terrible movie now, James? And so Josh Gad has to fight her, but he declares his love, and then even though she's this alien hard light entity, they decide to work together to defeat. With a womb, a functioning womb. With a functioning womb.

Well, no, because when they defeat the aliens, again, to jump ahead, she's pixelated and destroyed and taken back to the mothership. Q-Bit stays because Q-Bit was won in an earlier game where you get a prize. Yes. The other prize being the dog from Duck Hunt, which doesn't appear again. I don't know where that goes. It runs into the woods to snigger and laugh at hunters, I assume. So he's sad because his lady love disappears.

And so I guess as a prize or some kind of cruel twist of fate, Q-Bit is morphed back into this woman. And presumably she still has the DNA of Q-Bit and maybe the mind of Q-Bit is morphed back into this woman, and presumably she still has the DNA of Q-Bit and maybe the mind of Q-Bit? Yeah. Yeah. But we'll never know because she doesn't talk, it seems. No.

The whole thing's very odd and unpleasant. And just having Adam Sandler call it out, this is a bit weird. Yeah, it is. Yeah, that's not enough. It's not enough. Yeah. This should have been another half an hour of this movie

where everybody goes to court for what happened. And they all go to jail. Yeah. Because it's unacceptable. It's against God and nature and anything that you or I believe in, Mason. Okay, sure, I agree with that. But what about in the movie as well? Sure.

What I'm saying is everybody involved making this movie should go to prison. Yes. Is what I'm saying. Just a quick thing as well. Why is she not pixelated? Everything else is pixelated. Why is she a real woman? That's a great question.

Or take the visage of a real woman. I don't get it. Anyway, to take it back a bit. And anyway, that's the only thing in this movie that doesn't make sense and is bad. Everything else is fine. So bye, everyone. See you next week.

Okay. So again, there's stuff in this that I think you see snippets of it and you're like, oh, that's fun. I think the pixel effect

is very good. Love that. Especially when it's interacting with real life environments when buildings are getting Tetris'd and so forth. That's a bit of fun. People are shattered apart.

And the idea of some of these games being played in live action is fun. Like Pac-Man in the streets of New the idea of some of these games being played in live action is fun like pac-man in the streets of new york with different colored cars as the ghosts and a giant like menacing monstrous pac-man that's a great idea sure that's a great idea mason okay were you expecting to elaborate on that no okay great i mean what's to say and what's weird about this is as well it's just got this absolute transparent disdain for anybody who likes video games which is the audience of this well

anybody who likes anybody who likes video games outside of that specific window yes like very early 80s video games because the premise is that, you know, a bunch of dudes from the, they were kids in the 80s and they were really good at video games and now they're all losers. I mean, once the president, but he's still a loser. Yeah. And they're just being losers, but then aliens found a transmission from Earth that featured footage of some video games and they've decided it's a challenge and so they've come to Earth in the form of these video games.

Yeah. And they want to destroy the world, but the only people who are capable of beating back the invasion are these four to five to six losers who are like, yeah, actually, the key to video games is patterns and learning a pattern, because actually video games where you don't just learn a pattern, that's not real video games, is it?

Shut up. Yeah, exactly. Shut up. What a pack of absolutely unfuckable losers, by the way. And they're purposefully written this way. And it's weird because just this idea of like, this was 2015. It wasn't that long ago that just like, this is the audience. This is people who like video games.

Why would you paint them? Why are they like this? It's a great question. I love most people in this. I like Kevin James. I like Josh Gad. I like Peter Dinklage. I don't know what the fuck Peter Dinklage,

what is he doing? No, I'll tell you what, James. I know it's like a Billy Mitchell kind of blend. He's making some choices and I love it. That's the one part I love. But it's not funny, Mason. Some of it I thought was quite funny. I don't think it is.

I think the voice he's putting on is funny. Okay, the voice is funny. I just, I enjoy. Here's a true story. There's a, so in the movie, of course, we see the adult characters and in the flashbacks, we see junior versions of the characters. Peter Dinklage's character has decided to give himself the nickname Fire Blaster.

When I was a kid, in my friend group, one kid decided, not me, but a different kid decided we should all have nicknames, and he picked the nickname Fire Blaster, which lasted until we gave him the nickname Fire Hydrant McHose, and then he stopped with the whole nickname thing. I'm going to edit this out. Yes. Who was that? Oh, you don't know him. Oh, damn. You don't know him. Sorry.

This is before your time. This is like primary school. Okay, gotcha. Did everybody else get nicknames? No, he started and then the whole project fell apart. But I loved the fact that I don't know, I just loved his whole vibe. Yeah.

But you're right. Everybody else in this, what a waste is what I'm saying. Yeah. Everybody in this has done better work. Michelle Monaghan, Brian Cox is in this. Yep. Adam Sandler has obviously done great stuff. Jane Krakowski from 30 Rock is in this. Yeah.

Has given probably hundreds of the funniest line deliveries ever on TV in 30 rocks. You could let her do anything. And she does nothing. Yeah. She has one or two lines in this and they're just like, oh, you're baking a cake, are you? Great. Incredible stuff.

What a waste. Adam Sandler's... Sean Bean is in this. Sean Bean is in this, yeah. Incredible. And then it's all like... This movie is just like... it's just this weird, boomer fantasy, Gen X fantasy.

Gen X is what it is. And it's just a movie about how kids these days just don't get it. Why, back in my day. No, what they don't get is this really specific thing that you're good at happened to come back. Like, that's it. It's so specific that nobody needs to get this because this isn't going to happen, right?

The chances of this happening, it's zero. Right. So you're still a bunch of fucking losers, right? But what I loved about it as well is that it's the same vibes as the movie Armageddon, which, you know, the idea, you know, that for some reason it's easier to teach a bunch of miners to become astronauts than it is to train astronauts to use a drill. Yes. It's the same thing where it's like the army are depicted as these meatheads who just

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How do I use a gun to shoot a stampede? You're not doing... You're not... You're shooting... You should be shooting at the mushrooms. I just don't get it. Like, are you saying that there isn't, like, a whole squad of 19-year-olds in the army

who've all platinum Dark Souls, and they just can't get Space Invaders? You tell them he's that? I don't understand. Give them three minutes and they'll clock it. Absolutely. Embarrassing, this movie. It is embarrassing.

Also, it's like a pantomime. It's like everybody's reading off an autocue. Except for Peter Dinklage, who I loved. And I'll not be swayed on it. So the first impression that Adam Sandler makes when he meets Michelle Monaghan, he's a cable install guy. He's called like, unfuckable nerds are us or whatever, wherever he comes from. And he goes to the house and his instant reaction to her is like,

and then he fixes the cable and then he meets her in the cupboard because she's crying because her husband left for a younger person. He says a real weird thing. They kind of bond for a little bit and she lets her guard down and then he immediately tries to kiss her. And then when that doesn't work, he turns on her. He turns on her immediately and he's like, well, if I had a big yacht, you'd kiss me on a big yacht.

You're mentally ill and a crazy lady. You suck. And she's like, hmm, this guy is really growing on me. Unbelievable non-chemistry. Incredible. I know. And he hasn't brushed his teeth. Yeah.

He hasn't brushed his teeth. And then later in the movie, he has brushed his teeth. And she's like, well, look at this guy. Look at Mr. Brush's teeth over here. Oh, it looks pretty good when he has brushed his teeth. And she's like, well, look at this guy. Look at Mr. Brush's teeth over here. Oh, it looks pretty good when he has tucked his shirt in. But it's the King of Queens industrial complex is what it is. It's just the absolute slob, dirty slob of a man with a beautiful love interest. That they've all, they're all guilty of it is what it is.

But if he had a yacht, you know. That's so true. Awful incel shit, Mason. Okay, I've got a segment here called, this is something that true gamers can get upset about. Here we go, Mason. Oh, I'm excited. Aside from everything else.

All right. So most of the games featured in this came out in or before 1982, because that's when the time capsule goes into space with footage of video games, right? So there's great examples of this where this lines up. There's Donkey Kong, which features Jumpman, of course. We've got Centipede, Pac-Man, Q-Bit. Q-Bit came out in October of 1982. So that's an unlikely inclusion, but I figured that could make the cutoff. But then other than that, you've got Tetris, which came out in 1984. Duck Hunt came out in 1984.

Paperboy came out in 1985. Arkanoid. Arkanoid? Arkanoid. Came out in 1986. I'm Arkanoid about this film. I'm arkin' up. And I'm annoyed. That's what that is. You should be. It's a portmanteau.

Very good. That came out in 1986. And the ninjas that they fight at one point, they're nothing but they kind of look like the Eye Ninjas, which was a PlayStation 2 game from 2003. Huh. So it's just like, at least just set it in 86 then. Right. You know, like, what is this?

Well, speaking of, Max Headroom didn't come out until 1985. Exactly. And he didn't have a Spectrum Commodore 64 game until 1986. Ridiculous. But it was nice to see Matt Furrow in there. I hope they gave him a million dollars to, like... I've got a bit of green trivia about that, Mason. Also, why is there a robot in this?

And not like the robot they fight in the street the guy with the robot in the back of his head is just a just a clear alien thing what's that i don't know i don't know there's no other piece of technology that's earth related that is that and that guy's just walking around also Also, it's not a joke. Yeah. And it's not linked to anything. Yeah. He's just there. Was that supposed to be some like men in black shit? Like what the fuck? Yeah, it gave that vibe, didn't it?

Yeah. Hmm. Also, Peter Dinklage has sex with Serena Williams and Martha Stewart at the end. Nice. So you're happy with that, are you? I am absolutely very happy with it, yes. Absolutely. Great. I mean, something had to happen at the end. Nice. So you're happy with that, are you? I am absolutely very happy with it, yes. Absolutely. Great.

I mean, something had to happen at the end. There's no villain also. I think they could have just ended it. Yeah, maybe. Oh, I forgot about the Josh Gadding pregnates the alien. You forgot about that? I did forget about that. We've talked about it quite extensively.

Then I wiped my brain. I put a nail through my forehead. You saw me do that. There's no villain in this movie. No. So they're just faceless pixel whatevers. It's no, there's no, like I'm expecting drama in this. Like I'm expecting any kind of narrative weight to this.

Look, I understand that most of these movies are just an excuse for Adam Sandler to like hang out with his buddies and they have a great time. And they steal a bunch of money from Hollywood. Which I love. Yeah. And so I don't like. And we're paying for it, aren't we? The studio's paying for it and we're paying for it. And they steal a bunch of money from Hollywood. Which I love. Yeah. And so I don't like- And we're paying for it, aren't we?

The studio's paying for it and we're paying for it. Well, that's true. Like the standard of these movies and a lot of the stuff that he does with his mates and they get together and they run around a water park or whatever the fuck. Like it's low. But I know what that is.

Hey, you kids, I said no running. Oh, wait, you're 45-year-old men. What's happening? Oh, right. Which reminds me- I don't have a problem with that, though. No, no. Here's a note. Josh Gad is 12 years younger yeah than than adam sandler i looked it up so how old

josh gad's character supposed to be in the flashback if if adam sandler's character's 14 this guy's three yeah he's going on imagine getting that call hey josh gad you want to it's me adam sandler you want to you want to play one of my contemporaries yeah you look pretty rough why not it's another weird thing right so the aliens turn on them at one point because peter dinklage cheats and he cheated in the 80s playing donkey kong how'd he do it how'd he do it because he's got the cheat cheat codes like etched inside his sunglasses he has he has a cheat code written in his glasses that somehow enabled him to drive a car faster in real life yes we never see it also no it's on the map like

because clearly they was somebody in production was scratching their heads like, how's he going to, who cares? He could have made it like move the Pac-Man instead. Yeah, sure. Slow it down or something. Well, how did he even do it in the 80s and nobody noticed? But also a lot of those old games when they have those arcade competitions like the King of Kong features a lot of guys like this,

and by like this I mean much more likeable, and that's a very compelling documentary if you haven't seen it. Like using exploits within the game, that's often part of it, you know? And just the idea that he cheated at Donkey Kong, I don't think that's cheating. There's no cheat code. You're not punching in fucking numbers and letters to skip ahead. Ridiculous shit, Mason.

Christopher Columbus, what were you thinking? Both discovering America and this. Discovering America, Mason. Is that the correct way to say that? I think so. Yes, very much so. Great. It's time for green trivia, Mason.

Hooray! And thank God because the guy who shouts Rodney is here, and it's just always nice to see him, quite frankly. Okay, see you, pal. He's a constant in our lives, and I appreciate it. So, yeah, as you mentioned, Matt Frewer actually reprises his role as Max Headroom, and for the first time ever, he's actually a digital character,

because famously, you know, in the 80s, and pretty much every appearance except for this. He was just like that. Yeah. His face was just like that. That's what he looks like, a very unfortunate looking man. No, that's all like prosthetics and editing and whatever, but no, he's actually CGI in this.

This also shares its plot with a segment from a Futurama episode, Anthology of Interest No. 2, titled Raiders of the Lost Arcade. When did that come out? 2015. No, two. A long time before this. And The Last of Us is in this. And he's like, I don't get this.

Of course you don't, because you're a fucking idiot. I don't get compelling narratives. Yeah, you're in the movie Pixels. Of course you don't get compelling narrative. I don't get making interesting choices with video. Yeah, you're in the movie Pixels. Of course you don't get compelling narrative. I don't get making interesting choices with video. Yeah, you're in the movie Pixels. Yeah, of course you don't. I don't like how video games change on the fly.

I don't get it. Shut up. Awful man. Awful movie. And Mason, the box office. By all accounts, Adam Sandler is a very nice man. Oh, no, I meant the character. Oh, sure, sure.

Yeah, yeah. So this movie apparently cost somewhere between $88 to $129 million, some Hollywood accounting. You've got to visit that water park, you know. You certainly do. But it only made about $244.9 million at the box office. So a bit of a big bomb, Mason, because of Double for Marketing, et cetera, and so forth.

And there was never a sequel. But again, you give this to like the right people. I think you could even give this to these people and have them do a better version of this. I'll put a gun to their heads. Do it better. Do it properly this time, for real. Acknowledge video games have compelling narratives.

They're good now. Acknowledge it. I'll do it. I'll pull the stringer. Imagine if it was like, I mean, you mentioned earlier. Imagine if they sent a capsule with Dark Souls into space and that came back. Yes. Or like Elden Ring.

Just something horrible. It just turns the entirety of New York into something from Silent Hill. Yeah. Lucky it was this. Anyways, Mason, you can actually see these videos early. Yeah. Oh, you did? Yeah, I'll just ask you.

Do you send it to me? I'll say to you, James. You never say that to me. No, I could, but I know I could, and I think that's, you know. Well, guess what? That's what friendship's all about. Well, if you want to see these even before Mason, because I will not send them to him.

Oh, what? You can actually head over to BigSandwich.co, where they always go up there early, Mason. But it's not the only thing there, as you may know i already know there's movie commentaries there's bonus podcasts right our podcast the weekly planet where we talk movies and comics and tv shows that comes out there sunday as opposed to monday all of that is ad free and exclusive not the podcast but the other stuff that podcast has its own youtube channel and whatever and we'll be talking about the new mario, of course.

Oh, that's why we just watched Pixel. That's why, Mason. Huh. Not worth it. Anyways, here's a hint towards next week. What is it? What is it? Dunno.

Nice. Dunno, honestly. We'll figure it out on the fly. I'm kind of working on a Star Wars comic thing, but it's not going to be ready. So I'll save that for later in the year, Mason. Okay. Anyways, thank you to Ben and Lawrence for the edit. Thank you, Ben and Lawrence.

And we'll be back, of course, for that thing that you saw, but also other videos on this channel. You can come along and see and whatever. Hell yeah. Pixels is a, I mean, you know, it's kind of like, it's not that good, is it? No, it's not. No evidence at any point pointed to it being good. Did you think it was good?

No, I'm saying it's not that good. Did you think it was going to be good going in? Who knows? You hear things and you see things and I knew about the Cuban thing, but I didn't know. You never know, you know. I've had a terrible day. Bye, everyone. Grab that jam, you guys. I've had a terrible day. Bye, everyone.

Grab that jam, you guys. We'll see you next week. As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors. Like when our estrogen levels drop during menopause, causing the risk of heart disease to go up. Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca. FX's The Veil explores the surprising and fraught relationship Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca.