The Weekly Planet - Return of the Jedi - Caravan Of Garbage

Episode Date: February 19, 2026

The anticipation for what was to be the final Star Wars film, Revenge/Return of the Jedi was at an absolute boiling point in 1983. What was to become of Han Solo? Would Luke Skywalker defeat Darth Vader and turn from the dark side? Will Princess Leia kill a giant peverted slug in a gold bikini? These questions and more were wrapped up at the end of the original trilogy which brings the Emperor of the Galaxy to the forefront of story now with a second and even bigger Death Star. Thanks for watching our Caravan Of Garbage review on George Lucas' original trilogy and what some people consider to be the last true Star Wars experienceSUBSCRIBE HERE ►► http://goo.gl/pQ39jNHelp support the show and get early episodes ► https://bigsandwich.co/Patreon ► https://patreon.com/mrsundaymoviesJames' Twitter ► http://twitter.com/mrsundaymoviesMaso's Twitter ► http://twitter.com/wikipediabrownPatreon ► https://patreon.com/mrsundaymoviesT-Shirts/Merch ► https://www.teepublic.com/stores/mr-sunday-movies The Weekly Planet iTunes ► https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-weekly-planet/id718158767?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4 The Weekly Planet Direct Download ► https://play.acast.com/s/theweeklyplanetAmazon Affiliate Link ► https://amzn.to/2nc12P4 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome back everybody to the final episode. Ever. No. Ever? No. Ever? Ever? Ever?

Of the original Star Wars trilogy, which we're taking a look at. Ever, ever. Ever. Not on the original, but it's the original version of the original trilogy. Yes. Because it's the 49th anniversary of original Star Wars and however many years it's been since Return of the Jedi. Mm. Which should be called Return of a Jedi, as far as I'm concerned.

Return of One Guy. It should be called Return of a Jedi brackets, the dozens of other Jedi. who escaped Order 66 who remained in hiding instead of helping out the cowards. Because that's what's happened now, right? It seems that way.

It's been so much expanded media. And look, I'm sure they've been very clever about this. I'm sure everyone canonically has a reason they weren't there for any of this. I'm sure they're very clever and very canonical.

I'm sure they were all too busy chopping up the local wildlife and trying out various ponchos and hairstyles, I guess. Calcastus. But, you know, a lot of the scenes in this movie, a lot of the action sequences, would have gone way differently if there was like

10 guys with twin dual lightsaber. It's just boomeranging him around Jabba's Palace or whatever. A lot of this would have ended real quick. You know what I mean? You are not wrong. Oh my God, the opening of this movie, please leave a like, is incredible. It's like an extended cold open

because it doesn't really have anything to do with the rest of the movie other than rescuing hard solo and like ties up a loose end. And it's just more freaks than ever. Jabber the Hutt as a concept and as a puppet is just insane. The eyes are amazing.

He originally had affairs, which I wish they kept. Oh, terrific. But then somebody said, who's this racist against? I'm not, we should get rid of this. I don't think this is racist enough against more people. This is more absurd than it is racist,

but we should probably get rid of it just in case. Though looking at this movie, it does feel more like a controlled environment, George Lucas seems to prefer because, you know, cost spiraled wildly on the previous two. You know, they're in the snow, they're in the desert. Now it's like, we're either shooting this inner studio or just in a forest near where we live. Right. Exactly, yeah. Nevertheless, was this more expensive than the previous one. It was more expensive. Not by much. It was financed fully by George Lucas at this point. He'd made enough money. He was well on the way to

building Skywalker Ranch. And what I found really interesting was that his original idea for a trilogy of films was a past, present and future look at Vietnam. So it was going to be American graffiti, you know, that golden era before that happened. Apocalypse now, he was going to direct that, so like in the heart of it. And then Contiki tours in the 80s. That's right. Do people outside of Australia have Contiki tours? We've mentioned them before, and everybody who's seen this has seen all our other videos.

You pay a rock bottom price, and you travel the world, and you get an STI. For a rock bottom price. For rock bottom price. You better believe it. And the third one was Star Wars. So that's the trilogy. Yeah, okay, right. I'll tell you what.

And again, of the three original Star Wars movies, this is the most maligned, I think, for a bunch of reasons. But this one looks incredible. Like the model work at the start. Because there's always, you know, an opening with a huge gargantuan, you know, starships and et cetera. But this one of the, we see the Star Destroyers in space. And we see the Vader's shuttle popping in and it, you know, goes through like the entryway of the, seamless. Like in the old, like in the first couple, you're like, well, you can see the,

you can see the green screen line or whatever. Sucks. Yeah, this sucks, by the way. That's what I would have said if I was alive in the 70s. This sucks, by the way. This experiment in art and nouveau film or whatever. This sucks. Whatever.

I don't know what that is. And look, I've said before at our podcast, The Weekly Planet, and in real life, if you ask me, that I think, you know, I don't 100% believe in the arc of Darth Vader. Sure. Because, you know, he's, in the end, he's like, you know, in this movie, Luke Skywke was like, I still see the good in you. You can be redeemed. But of course, in the first movie,

he stood idly by while a planet was destroyed with billions of people on it. But in this one, upon a rewatch, I'm like, you know, I kind of do believe it because he shows up at the Death Star and he's like, listen, the boss is going to show up in a little bit. So you might want to lickety split.

You might want to... Look, you didn't hear it from me. Yeah, but, you know, he's going to be real mad if you don't double your efforts to rebuild his Death Star. So, that's... And so, you know, And so in a way, I'm like, well, you know, he hasn't fallen to the real dark side, which is middle management.

That's true. He's still a working man. He's still a union man, this guy. That's very true. I mean, he was sort of middle management in the first movie, but he's obviously been like, I don't know if this corporate environment is right for me. That's right. I want to throw my lightsaber.

I want to get kicked down some stairs. I wish I was in a swamp. That's where all the real Jedi are. Hanging out in a swamp or a desert, you know? Yeah. Or a forest. Or a forest. Just a forest near somebody's house.

Mm-hmm. So, David, Lynch was asked to direct this originally, because George Lucas again was like, I can't handle doing these movies. They are breaking me apart. And my family literally, we'll talk about it. And David Lynch, I believe, has a story about being presented with this

and just being like... Seed the Ewox. This has given me a headache. He literally got a migraine. Yeah. Of course, he moved on to do June, so I think maybe that had something to do with it. Then he could make something with his own kind of stamp on it.

Also, Lucas wanted Spielberg to do it, who would have done it. But Lucas had dropped out of the director's guild and the Writers Guild and the Motion Picture Association after he didn't put credits of the opening of the previous movie. Oh yeah, that was kind of his innovation. Yeah. Like put it at the end.

Hit him with the action at first credits at the end. Yeah. Yeah. Nah, man. You're fired. Well, they slapped him with a $250,000 fine for doing that. And he just ate it and went, fuck you. And just kept on going.

So Richard Mark Wan came into director, who was very inexperienced compared to Lucas and also, Spielberg, and. and Lynch, I guess, at the time. That's a name I recognize, but is it just because... That's a name I've not heard. Star Wars. You notice?

Nice, nice. You notice? I got it. I've never been one. Good Ambien. Sorry, gone. Is it just because I recognize him from Return of the Jedi and he do other stuff afterwards? Well, he died five years after this.

Oh, that's what I'm remembering. I was at his funeral. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, where's this guy from? I was there. It was raining and, you know, everybody's in black with the umbrellas. I'm like, where do I know this guy from?

Return of the Jedi. So, but even though Richard Marry... Markwand technically directed it. George Lucas was there every day. He filmed a lot of the second unit. He wrote this movie pretty much by himself. Lawrence Kasden also had a hand in it. Just pretend I'm not here.

Yeah. Just pretend I'm going to fly my fly on the wall. Yeah, but he pretty much. Don't do that. Do it like this. I'm not here. That was it. He was there for the entire shoot and I think it was 80 plus days.

He was exhausted and he complained about the constant questions he was being asked. He was quoted as saying, and this is in How Star Wars. Concord the Universe. I've talked about it before. He just wanted to be at home watching TV, which, Amen, brother. I hear. Mark Wend also put the first edit together and said, you're not going to do it any better than this. While that, he couldn't sleep and he would wake up screaming. Then Lucas recut it with the help of some other people who will talk about. And yeah, as I said, oh, he died four years after this. So yeah, there you go. Sad stuff. Then whose funeral was I at?

Is this the return to the Jedi funeral? Was it a funeral pyre? Was it Darth Vader's funeral? I think it might have been, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This was also given a famous working title, Mason. Go on. To help keep costs down. Oh, yes. Because people, you know, when it's a Star Wars movie, people come in and they're like, they know what it is.

And something that costs $1, suddenly cost $3, you know. Oh, I see. You're saying it's like a wedding. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you go to buy a cake, it's one price, but if you want to buy a white cake, it's a particular price. But if you suddenly, they know it's a wedding cake. But I'm like, no, this is a white funeral cake. What are you going to charge me now?

It's for my bro, Marquo, or whatever. Yeah, whatever. It's for him. So it was originally titled Return to the Jedi, and then it didn't feel punchy enough, so it was changed to revenge of the Jedi till the very last minute. And then, of course, George Lucas was like,

no, it's not a Jedi concept or whatever, whatever, was changed back. But Kenner had to destroy 250,000 packages that had already been made for toys. Oh, and does some still survive to this day, and they're very collectible and something? Who knows and probably maybe? Yeah, probably.

Could we fake some, is what I'm saying, and then put them on the black market and make a quick bark. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, great. NFTs? Yes. NFTs, Mason.

Yes, AI generated NFTs of fake Kenner packaging of toys from the 80s. We're going to be rich. Now, our first exposure to Star Wars is through Return of the Jedi action figures. It is. But we had different experiences. Yes, go on. For one of my very earliest birthdays, it might have been like the late 80s. I got an Admiral Akbar action figure.

Didn't know anything about it. An Admiral Akbar action figure. And I was like, incredible. This must be some kind of trap, you said. Who is this, I said? It ignited a fire within me, Mason. It got me here today. But you had a different experience.

Well, my first experience with Star Wars ever was, again, it was at a birthday party, and it wasn't my birthday, but for some reason, the family that was hosting the birthday party wanted to give all the children a present. Like every child there. And so they gave everybody. Bloody woke millennials, always everyone gets a bloody prize, Mason. Exactly. Thanks for my participation award, haven't you? But everybody got like. a wrapped loose Star Wars action figure. And I remember them being handed to the kids in a circle

and people would unwrap them. And I didn't know who any of these guys were. But like, you know, somebody unwrapped a C3P. I was this golden robot. I'm like, what's this? You're like, that's from the movie Metropolis. No, you idiot. Fritz Lang had nothing to do with this.

And then somebody opened up the Boba Fett. And I'm like, I don't know who this guy is, but look at this. He's got a jetpack clearly and he's, I don't know what's going on. And I'm like, what universe is this, what incredible world it is. And then I unwrapped mine and it was like a middle-aged bearded man in like a beige uniform. And only years later. His mum cut his hair. Yeah.

And I only learned years later that it was Crix Maidine. And the funny thing about that guy is that the reason he's got that stuck on moss beard in this movie is because they made the action figure before they filmed it. No, I think they'd cast it. But he turned up without a beard. So they had to like glue one on. Wow. God, it's incredible. That would never happen today.

Nobody would show up to anything like this without an awareness of what their likeness was going to be turned into. Absolutely. Yeah. God, all of that. And that's Star Wars, you know? You wouldn't shave your beard because you wouldn't know what NFT you were going to be turned into, for example. That's right.

So, of course, the original cast return. Harrison Ford wasn't necessarily going to. He wanted to die in a self-sacrifice situation. Well, he's wanted to do that for decades, doesn't he? Boy, has he. Lawrence Kasden agreed. George Lucas disagreed. And also, speaking of toys, the toy company.

disagree with that, which I think might have swayed George Lucas. So he ended up earning $500,000 for this movie, which, hey, good money if you can get it, which I can't. Can you get that? I could. Yeah. If I wanted to. Sure. But I'm in here.

Yeah. I don't have time. You're going to get those NFTs going on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's why he got put in carbonite at the end of the last one, right? Absolutely. Because then, you know, maybe if he didn't come back for this one, they could have said at the start of the time of this movie, and he died in the carbonite.

Yeah. He suffocated to death. Yeah. Your favourite character, rogue starship captain, hero Hans Solo. He just suffocated to death in a box. Well, you know, we got him as a ghost in Revenge of Skywalker's or whatever it was called. We did get it in. And what a moment.

Oh, it wasn't a ghost, it was a memory or a dream or something. Yeah, or it was real. Or it was real. We don't know and we don't need an explanation because I don't require logic or fun. I don't even need movies to be good. I just want to be looking at something. Absolutely. Ideally, something you've seen before.

That's right. Even something you didn't like previously. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But now you've seen it again, you like it. I do. And you hope they never change it. Yep. What I liked about the opening sequence, that kind of extended cold opening, we never see again.

Everybody teams up. Yeah, man. What I liked about it is everybody kind of makes mistakes. Yeah. And they kind of muddle their way through it. Absolutely. You know, Luke Skywalker doesn't boomerang his lightsaber through Jabba. He's like, you've vastly underestimated my powers, which is stealing a gun from a guy.

and standing on an obvious trapdoor. C-3bio even warns him. He's like, don't stand there. And he's like, I'm going to, though. Luke, coming into this is such a mixture of like calm and lunatic. Like, because he's like, listen, we're reasonable, men. I've got a gun. I'm going to shoot you.

And then later, when he's about to get thrown into the pit, he's like, listen, I think we could figure something out. And Hans Solo's like, we're going to die. He's like, don't worry, I've got every possible. scenario covered. Flip, lightsaber! Kill everybody! Big kicks that don't connect!

But I love everybody everybody has a go, you know? A layer shows up in disguise. Chewbacca's been dragged along. Lando's already there. Landau's there, loving, loving, they're all teaming up, you know? God. But imagine the plan being,

I hope I catch this lightsaber. I hope I can just absolutely no finesse kill everybody here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I really hope R2D2 constantly malfunctioning droid fires that mostly in my direction so I can get it with the force, I guess? What if you're just flung it into the mouth of the sarlac? Oh no.

I mean, he's got, he could have, he's using the force. He's doing a force catch. He could have grabbed some more blasts. He absolutely should have, yeah. I like how Jabba's sleeping multiple times during this and so's the whole room. And I think it's because he's like a baby. And when you're raising a baby, you sleep when the baby sleeps.

So when he's not partying and he's hopped up on spice and eating frogs, he's out so you're like, good opportunity to take it up while the bosses have it at up. That's exactly right. That's good stuff. Yeah. The rankle's great. Rankle's great. It's a puppet shot at a low frame rate and then sped up to give it weight.

It looks incredible because if you watch the behind the scenes footage of this, it doesn't look like anything. It shouldn't work. Absolutely. Yeah, but God, it's great. I love it all, man. And of course, the Rancor Keeper famously the one guy in all of the Star Wars universe who cares at all about the native wildlife. Yeah, that's true.

Like, he's genuinely sad when his mate dies. Hart Solo's going to shoot an Ewok in this. Yeah. There's a moment where he's like, I can sort this out immediately. Just let me shoot one of these guys. There's a theory about Boba Fett, which, you know... Oh, yeah, his undignified death. Yeah.

I think Robot Chicken even did it, that he's drunk. He was partying. Oh, yeah. And that's what happened here. He doesn't seem like a partying guy. Based on what I know about him, a noble hero who just wants to be the mayor of a town. Yeah, sure. I mean, you know that now, but at the time, what do we know about him?

Literally nothing. Absolutely nothing. Cool suit. Cool suit. It looked great, honestly. Oh my God, yeah. Love all of that. Unreliable jet pack.

Yeah. Uncontrollable jet pack. Yeah. I guess he was drug. Why is it okay that Luke can kill like 80 guys? Some of them are being digested over 10,000 years, but he can't just rush in and behead the emperor. I don't understand the logic behind what's a good way to kill someone and what's a bad way, you know? I don't know.

I don't know, man. It's just one of the... If you were with him... Hitler and Hitler was like a day to shoot me, you probably would. And no one would be like, oh, that's poor form. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? I'm just saying. Look, it's just one of those things. It's the same logic of like, well, when you're fighting somebody with a lightsaber, why don't you just turn your lightsaber off and then, you know, then you go through their lightsaber and then you switch your lightsaber back on and then it kills them or whatever. It's just not the done thing,

I guess. It'd be poor form to just behead the emperor. Well, that would be the thing I would do. I would switch off a lightsaber thing also. What I would do is I would, the lightsaber is always hanging off the belt. Yeah, yeah. So I would do the opposite. Like, if somebody was charging at me, I'd have it switch on. Just as they're running. Chop their leg off.

Nice. Yeah, that's good stuff, actually. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So anyway, they do all that jabba the hut stuff. They needed somebody to die in this. That was the thinking. So it went from Lando. It was like, well, maybe he dies in the Death Star battle.

But they went, no, we'll give it to Yoda. So Yoda's like, great work, Luke. No more training. And Luke's like, well, I'm a Jedi now. And he's like, well, not quite. You have to kill your dad. Kill your dad, you have to. Sorry, kill your dad, you have to.

And also, he was just going to disappear before confirming Darth Vader was his father. Are you serious, man? Like, what are you doing? And he's like, oh, it's really unfortunate that you rushed off to face Darth Vader, you know, before you finish your training. You should have given him the, I know, we probably talked about this last week, but a heads up would have turned that whole situation around, you know? Yeah. Because then as Luke would just run out and be like, hey, dad. And Darth Vader would spin around and it would just.

chop his head off, you know? But you'd have time, on the X-wing flight over, you'd have time to process it. You're like, he's my dad, I don't like that, it's not right, I don't guess, I'm, well, I'll chop his head off. But also, I'm not close to him, I can chop his head off. Yeah, I mean, you know, I was closer to Uncle Owen, honestly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

Yeah, even if I do chop my dad's head off, he'll come back as a ghost and we can bond after that. Yeah, that's fine. So, you know, if I want to, yeah, which I might not. Hey, guess what, Dad, now you can't do any evil anymore. Let's go fishing. And you know, everyone turns up again or whatever And he's like, well, what I told you is the truth from a certain point of view or whatever I know, I know.

Bullshit. That's bullshit. It's just a lie. It's just a lie. It's just a lie, right? Yes. He's like, well, he's technically two guys. He's not.

He's one guy. And then he lost some limbs. He's the same guy. He's just much agriar. That's right. It's the same guy. Yeah, the core bit is the same. It's not even a ship of Theseus situation because most of his bits are still the same.

The main bit's still the same. I would say. He's probably at least 60% original guy, right? Yeah, right? Yeah, even if it's 51, that's most of it, isn't it? And once again, sure, his head looks like the end of a sausage and you've stripped the skin off it. But it's still, his brain's still in there.

Probably. You know? Yeah. Oh, and he has a twin sister. So Carrie Fisher, she wanted something more to do in this movie. And they're like, let's take all your clothes off. We hear you. Let's take all your clothes off.

She wanted more edge to her character. She was like, well, maybe my character has a drinking problem because, you know, the trauma of watching her planet explode. Also, I have a drinking problem. Also, she has a drinking problem, exactly. But in this, she just, she seems fine. She does get shot, but like in the arm. Come on, man. I mean, she does, she does bond with the Ewoks. That's true. Warwick Davis was brought in very last minute to play Wicket because Kenny Baker, who played R2D2 was supposed to do it, but he got food poisoning. And so the morning hobby's like, I'm sick of shit, man. They kept shoving old food through the slot.

That's right. At break time, he goes out of craft services and just the chefs there pushing an old omelet through the R2T2 mouth slot. I don't know, man, just eat it. We can't get you out of the suit. It takes six hours. I was going to say of Carrie Fisher. Cocaineal. Yes.

Subsequently, people have, you know, people have said to her, you know, explain the outfit. Yeah. You know, and she said, well, look, if you want to tell your kid something, just tell him, you know, this evil guy Jabba the hut put me in the suit and I didn't like it, so I killed him, you know, kind of thing. Exactly, yeah. That's what happened. Well, she apparently really did enjoy killing him.

Yeah. As, you know, theoretically, he's not a real slug, is he? No, absolutely not. There's like eight guys in there. Also, it's a gamble there to put it around his neck and assume. Put the chain around his neck and assume. He might like that. That's going to kill him, mate.

I mean, I was going to say maybe you think you're cutting off his air supply, but you're actually choking his genitals. But I guess that would kill you anyway. I guess it would eventually. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you might have heard that the Ewox was supposed to be. Wookieies at one point. I have heard that. I think from you, were you lying to me? You son of a bitch. There's no real evidence of that also it wouldn't really make sense because

Chewbacca can like fly a spaceship and yeah he doesn't wear pants but like he's technological whereas these aren't. That's true. So it's probably not the case and also we did see a planet of the wookies in the holiday special. Hell yeah we did. So you know. Yeah. And look the Ewoks are the biggest point of contention for this and even at the time because I think people who grew up on these movies by the time they maybe got in their late teens, they're seeing teddy bears and they're not liking it, right? Oh, yeah, I guess. But, you know, I think it's because, like, I grew up on this and saw this as a very young

kid. It's fine. I don't care. It's not the strongest part of the movie. I think this does dip in the middle, like, pretty hard. Yeah, yeah. But it does recover. It's the contrast.

They're fun little teddy bear like guys, but they're little warriors. And also, a bunch of them do die. True. That's, you know. It's true. Also, they are the Viet Cong, literally. So, and look, I hate to get political and I just, because every time I bring this up, people like, that's not true.

This is true. The Ewks are the Viet Cong. To be clear, they're not literally the Viet Cong. They didn't hire the Viet Cong, the remaining Viet Cong, and get them in the suits. They're a metaphor for the Viet Cong. And the Imperials are the US Army. All right, George Lucas has said it multiple times.

It just is what it is. I didn't invent this. I'm sorry if that upsets you, but it just, it is what it is. Anyway, there's a great space battle, as mentioned. The model work is better than ever. It goes to show that, like, when going back and tweaking these movies, like, in the re-release, they didn't really touch any of this. They put a song in with, like, a CGI horrible nightmare, like, creature.

But they just left this space battle pretty much as is, because it's technically just incredible. Agreed. I mean, you look at this one compared to the first one. There's like hundreds of fucking ships. It's crazy that they managed to do this. Nothing else looked like this at the time. Also, watching the behind this. scenes of Billy D. Williams going insane talking to a puppet.

Absolutely. It's a lot of, there's a moment where he's just like, I can't with this. Somebody's got to, there has to be a super cut out there of like actors going insane. There's an Ian McCallon one. Yeah, exactly. Talking to a puppet or a tennis ball or nothing. Yeah. Fighting nobody.

Yes. Yeah, in front of nothing. I love it. It was also originally going to be two death stars. Oh, yeah. Over Had Aberden, which was like the early Coruscant and the final conversation with the emperor was going to be like under the city in like a lava chamber kind of situation. Okay.

Not on like a rope bridge between two death stars. I mean that'd be sick actually. That'd be sick, right? Yeah, yeah. Sorry, I mean space rope. That would be space rope. That would be space rope. Space bridge.

It would be space sick, brother. It would be space sick walking across that, wouldn't you? Yeah. Yeah. Richard Mark I was actually one who suggested that the Death Star be under construction, which I think does add to it because, yeah, it's just the Death Star again. And it's slightly more interesting if you can get in it, you know? Yeah, absolutely.

Anyway, in Medermint, what a performance. What a performance. 37 years old at the time. I don't think the makeup has ever been this good since. Yeah. Yeah. His plan is, lure the fleet in. I can't believe he did that.

And also, I can't believe they fell for it. Also, Mon Mothwa, just coming in with absolute confidence being like, we know it's not armed. Let's just send everybody in. Thanks, Mon Mothma. You idiot. You dumb ass. But yeah, as mentioned, when the Emperor is trying to go look into it,

he's like, come on, man, just do it. Have a swing, mate. Luke's slow two foot turn and jump and then using the, like, dude, you've got to be quicker than that. What are we doing? That was a real opportunity. Well, he choked, didn't he? Yeah, I guess he did, yeah.

Yeah. All I'm saying is that, like, even Kylo Ren did it. That's all I'm saying, you know. All I'm saying is boomerang that lightsaber, brother. Yeah. Burming that lightsaber, have a second blade, have a second lightsaber. Yeah, yeah. Split the lightsaber in half.

Yeah. Lightaber grenades. I don't know what. Whatever you can do. Well, I don't think Luke Skywalker knew you could do that until. Darth Vader did it to him because he did not see that coming at all. I think it was like, shit, I didn't know you could throw these. Didn't know that was allowed.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, you've seen, do you remember a few years ago, and I think maybe it was to coincide with one of the special editions, they released that footage of Luke Skywalker or a hooded figure building the green lightsaber? Yeah, yeah, yeah, do. Yeah, I do, yeah. That was real, yeah. So that's real footage.

Yes. That wasn't made in the present day. No, that's a deleted scene, which was going to be the reveal that he built a new lightsaber before he got to Jabba's Palace yeah well I'm glad they cut it out it is cool it is cool in isolation yeah totally but the reveal that R2D2 has the lightsaber and whatever

yeah I mean he could have just stuck it out and just spun in a circle yeah yeah also also when he you know when he grabs the gun and tries to shoot Jabber I'd be like want to use your freaking lightsaber you dumb ass stupid dumbass idiot this movie's full of plot holes oh I spoil oh no when you're escaping on that skiff oh it's just very convenient there's two big magnets and they're just

equally dis... Apart so they can pick up two C-3, people pick up both droids at the same time. I'm speaking like... Anybody. I'm speaking like this was released in the present day. Oh, two magnets.

Very convenient. Very convenient. It's pretty convenient. It is very convenient. I'd never even considered that, yeah. But yeah, Luke and Vader, they've got their own thing going on. Like, Vader doesn't care at all

about the galaxy or the universal or the fate of whatever. It's just like, I want to just spend time with my son. And I love the force. And I love the force, man. I'm loving this, yeah. Feels good, man. man. It's so funny when, you know, because Luke's like, I don't want to fight you, man.

You push me into this. I'll do a big kick every now and then, but I'm going to hide. And it's really funny when you look at like the layout of that room that Darth Vader just couldn't find him under the stairs. And he's probably using the force. Yeah, yeah. They're both using the force. One's using the force to look around and one's using the force to hide. You know, and there's force, there's midi-chlorians or whatever, float around and it's causing a bit of...

Force distortion. Force stortion Yeah, yeah, we get it But he's under the stairs Where else would he be? It's an open plan room There's a gantry There's like holes in it

Yeah man, there is And the moment when Luke pops out behind him Like he's not hiding He's just standing there And he gets goaded out with the sister thing That was supposed to be a future story So it was going to be like nine movies initially Well I guess it is now

Where Luke's sister turns up In a future trilogy The Emperor, it's not Princess Lair It's just something else Different lady Yeah and it was going to be Like the Emperor was going to be In episode nine

They were going to stretch this out, and for reasons we'll talk about... The Emperor was in episode 9. He was. And he had a million star destroyers. He did, didn't he? And that makes things better, I think. Do you think they've done an expanded media, parallel universe, multiverse thing where we've met the other system? No.

Not at this point. They don't love expanded media multiverse stuff that much. We've got a little bit of it, but... Yeah, yeah. When this wells dry is up. Oh, absolutely. They'll do the multiverse. Then you're going to see Darth made a fight Captain America.

Don't even worry about it. I think one of my face. Might even be my favorite Star Wars moment is Luke overpowering Vader and it's got that John Williams piece of music playing over the top. And he's just gone absolutely ham. Dda da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da and vaa and vaida. And Vader's just on the back foot and he's just like I'm in trouble. Yeah. I haven't lubricated these joints in a long time.

I'm rusty. Didn't think I had to. Yeah. Everything was easy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought the droids were going to do it. You know that droid and it's always poking and sparking. Yeah, yeah, man.

I thought my poking and sparking droids would keep me maintain, but they didn't. Nah, man, he didn't. So yeah, you know, and then redemption or whatever. Oh, yeah, yeah. And Beta throws him down a pit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, I killed billions of people. Yeah.

Again, it's like, it's the end of World War II. Yep. And Hitler and Mussolini are both there. And Hitler's like, look Mussolini, your son. I've got your son, Mussolini Jr. here. Kill Mussolini Jr. and we'll rule the galaxy together. And Mussolini's like, I don't want to. Wow, what a hero.

I've changed my son. mind. Great stuff. Oh, incredible, yeah. What a way for the emperor to go out. I mean, I know people complain about like you returned. And yeah, it's terrible. But you also return in the expanded universe and whatever. That's true. And it was clones in the expanding universe as well. Yeah. That's, of the two, that is, I think, a better story. But also the books had time to explore how that happens. Oh yeah. The movies. The movie's just like somehow. Yeah, whatever. Literally just somehow. Literally somehow. You figure it out. Yeah, yeah. But at least the emperor died doing what he loved. screaming and falling.

Falling down a hole. Falling down a big hole. He wasn't dead, wasn't he? To the very end. That's right. Yeah. God, Vader, what a mess.

That's a rough 45, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Even with the eyebrows, that's a bad look. Even with the eyebrows and the harmonica. Yeah, that's right. His famous space harmonica.

So David Prows to be... So David Prows, who is the body of Darth Vader some of the time, is not in the... Less so these days. these days, well, yeah, he did pass away. He doesn't do a lot of the sword fighting in this. He was really upset that he wasn't the face of Darth Vader at the end. They got Sebastian Shaw. Famous X-Men character, Sebastian's Shaw. Oh yeah, that's true. Kevin Bacon played him in that movie. He got a coin pushed through him. He did. It's true. Yeah. And that was because of like

rumors that he, that he'd leaked Darth Vader's death and other reasons that. Yeah, they didn't trust him at this point. And they shouldn't have. They did betray him. Like there's, there's, there's, And he didn't get paid properly. They kept being like this movie didn't make money. You don't get any residuals due to Hollywood account. Yeah, that's right. That is true. Yeah.

I love the moment where Luke's like, look, Darth Vader, I won't leave you here. What are you talking about? What are you going to bring him home? They're going to execute him like immediately. As they should. Very justified. We've talked about Star Wars Infinities, which is a comic book where he lives and he turns up in a white suit. Oh, yeah, that's right.

Dude, that's not enough. Yeah. Also, imagine that trip. You're on the Millennium Falcon. He's in like one of the seats. at the back and everybody's just looking back at him. He's all in bits and Hans like, hey, remember that time I shot you a bunch of times in the hand?

You caught all the blasts. Yeah, man, yeah. You know, you tried to kill me, I guess. You put me in that carbonite coffin thing. Yeah, didn't love that. Yeah. Anyway, ten more hours. Mason, where's Luke's lightsaber?

What do you mean? Because when he drags Darth Vader out of the Emperor's chamber, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not strapped to his belt. And then at the end, when he rolls in, it's hanging off him. I don't know, man. Where did he put that? Where did he put it?

Did he ask Darth Vader, you hold it? Maybe you did. I still wouldn't trust him at that point. No. Yeah, I don't know, man. You're saying it's in his bum. We're all saying it, all right?

That's right. And this is the kind of insight that Caravan of Garbage brings to your favorite classic movies. Luke's lightsaber is probably in his bum. Or his dad's bum. In his dad's bum. Don't turn it on, obviously. That's right.

You do blade side point. out just in case safety first. Or in case you need to fight some guys in the way out. The ending to this though, because this was the last Star Wars. Even when we were getting the prequels, I was like, this is it.

And there is the expanding universe stuff, but that to me never kind of filled the void of like seeing these characters again, even though there's a lot of really good stuff. It's really bittersweet, I feel. Like, even though it is a happy ending and all of that. But yeah, it's still this kind of moment.

I still think people feel this way of like there's no real kind of Star Wars after this. Yeah. And look, there is real Star Wars after this because, you know, there's all sorts of AI videos of Luke building a crystal out of a rock or flipping on a bird or whatever. There's so many.

That's so many of those. There's so many and that's real Star Wars. That's the real Star Wars. People don't understand. They didn't think a reaction could be elicited from the Mason anymore. Because of what happened to Star Wars. But this was George Lucas's dream.

That you use AI to make an NFT of Luke Skywalker flipping off. a bird. And I mean flipping off a bird. Oh yeah, man. Robot hand. That's right. That's right. Oh, man. Also, Andor exists.

Yeah, Andrew's incredible. It's good stuff. Yeah, that's good enough for me. The shot of Vader being burned, which I love, that was added as a pickup because George Lucas thought that, you know, people might have been like, oh, there's some ambiguity here. Did he really die? No, he's in that suit.

He's cooked, mate. That's right. We burn him right up. Yeah. Yeah. And then he was like, and then the Ewox ate him. They would have. Like George, please.

George plays. They are cannibals. Anyways, it's time for return. Trivia, trivia, Jedi. This is the trivia. This is exactly. This is a trivia section of the show. So Luke Skywalker originally had a blue lightsaber in this movie.

You can actually see it in the early trailers. Stupid. Stupid idea. Agreed. The speculation is though that it's a skyline thing where you couldn't see it as clearly. Oh, yeah, okay. But the green's way better. Yeah.

Do you think, because nowadays when, like, you know, you watch a piece of Star Wars media and somebody's got a purple, you know, Sam Jackson's got the purple lightsaber, people like, what is the purple lightsaber? Do you think people had that reaction in the 80s to the green lightsaber? Yeah, man. This is green lightsaber's crazy,

this is a green light saber is. Light saber is red or they're blue? Or whiteish. Or they had a respectful silence. Maybe that was it. Maybe that was it. I don't know, man. If you saw this in cinemas,

what did people scream when the green lightsaber came out? I would love to know. That's a great question. A Steadicam was used to film walking pace footage with each step being a 24th of a second to simulate the effect of a speeder bike, a speeding speeder bike,

because you speed that up, it looks like 100 miles per hour. And then that would add the actors on blue screen later. Yeah, yeah. Which was a popular special effect of the time. I'm going to tell you, a speed bike. Not the ideal vehicle for that environment. Absolutely not, yeah.

Just a forest? You don't drive a motorbike through a forest. Nah, man. If I was one of those speeder bike guys, I'm calling in sick today. Yeah. Old War. I'll walk, thank you.

Oh, my speeder bike isn't levitating. I don't want to die. I don't want to die, thank you. I quit. And you don't know who I am, because I'm wearing a mask. I'm just going to take the helmet off. I could be anybody. Goodbye.

Goodbye, everyone. That's right. Also, the helmet's got like blinkers on it. Yeah. You can't even see you left a ride. What are you doing? If you've played any version of the speeder bike in any game, it's always the worst level. Yeah, it's chaos.

Lunacy. You'd be one of the at-st-guise guys. You would. You'd want to be in an at-stuh. Because they're cool and they're slow. Yeah, that's cool. Look at a big blaster. They look good in this, don't they?

They also cameoed in Empire Strikes Back before this. The reason they were able to set up explosions and just drag stuff around the forest was because a bunch of those redwood trees were about to be harvested. Now, that might be something you might feel down or blew about, because, you know, destroying nature. But it's actually, it's a wonderful thing and don't even worry about. It's all part of preservation. And the last one is

Salacious Crumb gave Anthony Daniels a panic attack When he was lying down He's pulling out his eye And nobody's sure whether he was like tired Or just feeling blue But yeah that kind of really got to him And he was pulled out of the suit Box office for this Mason

Go on On a budget of $32.5 million paid by George Lucas himself The initial return was 374 Pretty good Not including merchant Everything everything else Yes

Cricks made in figures for example Exactly I've sold a lot of those. Oh, definitely. I bet I could get a lot of 500 of those on eBay for like two bucks. Absolutely, and you should. I will. Yeah.

Now, I couldn't find the specific amount of money that Alec Guinness got paid for this movie. He figured it out for the last two. Yeah. But I did find this quote for why he returned for The Empire Strikes Back. He said, I said yes to a day's work on Star Wars 2. It's dull, rubbishy stuff. But seeing what I owe to George Lucas, I finally hadn't had the heart to refuse.

So I imagine it was a similar feeling for this. God, what a British. thing to say. God, just, I'll, yeah, I'll turn up and sit on a log, whatever. He did make like $90 million or whatever. Can you promise me I'll only really be half there? Are we just? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Make sure I'm especially ghostly. I don't want to commit to this. Now, George Lucas, again, he wanted to make more movies when he started this and he wanted to make... Don't we all? Yeah, well, yeah, and more Star Wars movies. In a way, we're going to make more movies throughout the year. It's true. The movies are called Caravan of Garbage. And they're not movies.

They're not movies, it's true. But during the making of this, his marriage was falling apart. got a divorce just after it came out. He'd adopted a daughter recently. He wanted to step away to do that. Marsha Lucas did do some of the editing on this. She edited the Yoda Death. Any of the more slow character moments, she was really good at, so she did contribute.

He also, he had mixed feelings about becoming a studio system himself because he'd fought against that for years. And he has talked about, you know, going back and making his own small films. He's been saying that for decades. Absolutely. And maybe he has been doing it and we haven't seen it. Maybe they're all in a vault or something. Maybe they are.

But, like, he became, and, you know, people have talked about this, he became like the empire. He became a studio in himself and whatever, whatever. What I'd recommend is if you see him on the street or in a food court in Adelaide, just come up to him and go, where your small films, George? Hey, George. Give me a look. Hey.

I'll pick you up and I'll shake one out of you. Hey, it's tone poem Lucas over here. Hey, where's your experimental short films? You dog. I mean, look, all that aside, he made Star Wars. That's true. That's pretty good, isn't it? It's pretty good.

Be happy with that. Yeah, yeah. Most directors haven't done nothing. No, they haven't made Star Wars, most of them. Yeah. Or they made Pobbs and Shore. Yeah. You know, which is worse than nothing.

Well, Max Landis made his Star Wars, which was the movie Bright. That's so true. So that's good, isn't it? Yeah. Which resulted in the song, Ork Cop. The unofficial theme, Orc Cop. Unificial. I think you find it's official basis.

Yeah. So that's worth it ultimately. Definitely. But also off the back of that, Lucas, LucasArts, the video game division, which has been mostly shuttered at this point, I think. but what a run though and just really pushing things forward Skywalker Sound

the edit and sound droid which invented non-linear editing which meant you could access any piece of footage instantly Yeah we can do that now True You can easily do that now It's called YouTube Where we store all our movies

That's right And they're not movies Oh Lucasfilm invented the technology Which built Toy Story Which they sold Pixar in 1988 So that's been off from there ILM has just done

incredible special effects work I mean, Jurassic Park, there's others, but Jurassic Park. That's right. And of course, he did come back to Star Wars in 1997 before doing the prequels. That's a hell of a trailer, that 1997 trailer. If people are interested, I did do a video on the Star Wars special editions and kind of what went into them from a few back. If you do want to check it out. But you know what I like about this?

Go on. And you know what I think Star Wars is definitely missing now? Well, a bunch of stuff. Harrison Ford. Harrison Ford. Carrie Fisher. Carrie Fisher, yes. Billy D. Williams.

Billety Williams, yeah. Mostly. Yeah, I mean, yeah, all of them have returned. Yeah, yeah. But I want them here right now. Yeah, okay, in this room. In this movie. Yes.

But we're making. Yes. Star Wars used to end. True. And even though we kind of knew it was going to come back, maybe at some point. Yeah. There was always definitive points of exit. Yeah.

Where people could go away. Go away. Go get sick of it. Have the mythology brew. You know, you still kind of keep things going along with video games and expand stuff for people who care. Well, guess what, James. That's not the way of the way of the way.

world anymore. It's constant slop. That's what we want. That's what the people want. They want their slop. Yum, yum, nummy, nummy, slop. I want to see Luke Skywalker. I want to see him deep faked into a do it a flip on a burn or whatever, don't I?

Yes. Yeah. I'm going to see him fight Darth's going. Yeah, yeah, yeah. From M. By stroke's back, fight Darth's more. And then he's fighting Darth's mall and Darth's like, I've got the upper head because I've got a lightsaber that turns into two light sabers.

But then Luke Skywalker's like, yeah, but guess where I kept my green lightsaber? That's on his butt. That's right. And it's in his dad's box. That's right. There's two. And Darth Bain's watching, he's like, very good. Yeah.

Yeah, I love Star Wars. Me too. Yeah. But I mean, look, but I mean, I don't know, man. I guess when we get End the Star Wars. Some of it has to be good. Some of it has to be good, exactly. Yeah.

By the law of averages, we eventually get something good, you know? So there's that. Yeah. Another coward who didn't show up for Return of the Jedi would have helped. Two lightsabers. Yep. You know? Yeah.

Great. She knew all those blocs in that room. Yeah. I know you. I know where you live. You're Anakin Skywalker in a mask. I fought you in a pyramid. I got pulled into a time travel tree.

That's right. Et cetera. Yeah. Yeah. Anyways, Mason, do you know we have a service called Big Sandwich.com? It's true. We do. It's true.

And not only do we have early videos there. We do bonus content. We do video game Let's plays. We looked at a bunch of Star Wars original arcade games from the 80s, mate. That's true. What an era. Vector graphics. Vectore graphics.

Other graphics. We dragged my son into it. That's right. He did not like it. No. Because compared to the video games he's played, they're very bad and basic and terrible. That's right. But it's all they had back in the Stone Age or whatever.

It's true. We also have a comic book club. We looked at The Star Wars, which is an adaptation of the original screenplay. That's right. We do movie commentaries. We've got one on literally every Star Wars movie. It's nine bucks a month if you do want to help us out. You can also sign up, download everything or watch everything and then leave.

We don't care. It's fine. That's right. But bearing in mind, you can't get that $9 back. No, no, you definitely can't. It's being thrown down into the exhaust port or whatever. Exactly. Also, here's the hint towards next week.

Oh, my God, it's sure like I'm. Shal like Ibs. What are you doing there? I'm solving crime or whatever. I'm going to Normind Palace. Yeah, man, I love opium. I love opium and violins and doing a punch. It's true.

You know? Anyways, thank you so much to Ben and Lawrence for the editor. Thank you, Ben and Lawrence. These are long, aren't they? Probably. Yeah. Also, we have a podcast called The Weekly Planet where we talk movies and comics and TV shows

that comes out every Monday doesn't it? That's right. Check it out on its own YouTube channel, Spotify, Apple, etc. It's just audio. Yeah, it's just audio. For now, do we have to film it for monetary reasons? No, we'll never have to. We'll never have to.

We got it. We got in early. We did. We got him before that was a requirement. That's right. Yeah. All right, thanks, everyone. Grab that jam, you guys.

We'll see you next week. Say, may the force be with you because that's Star Wars. May the forks be with you. Oh, that's very good. And you've got a fork in your bum. That's what I'm saying. That's why that joke works. Otherwise it would just be made...

Doesn't work otherwise. Doesn't work at all. It doesn't even make any sense. No. Yeah, but the fork thing... It's good. Yeah.