The Weekly Planet - Shrek The Third - Caravan Of Garbage

Episode Date: February 16, 2023

Shrek The Third. BOO. I mean what a drop in quality. Despite returning to this delightfully weird universe and revisting the characters of Shrek, Donkey, Princess Fiona and Puss In Boots it feels like a big dull retread of two better movies. Plus the new elements including Justin Timberlake and Eric Idle as King Arthur and Merlin feel hollow and wasted. Anyways this is our Caravan Of Garbage review and we don't like this movie. Thanks for listening!SUBSCRIBE HERE ►► http://goo.gl/pQ39jNVideo Edition ► https://youtu.be/EJBuYXNb9XsHelp support the show and get early episodes ► https://bigsandwich.co/Patreon ► https://patreon.com/mrsundaymoviesJames' Twitter ► http://twitter.com/mrsundaymoviesMaso's Twitter ► http://twitter.com/wikipediabrownPatreon ► https://patreon.com/mrsundaymoviesT-Shirts/Merch ► https://www.teepublic.com/stores/mr-sunday-movies The Weekly Planet iTunes ► https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-weekly-planet/id718158767?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4 The Weekly Planet Direct Download ► https://play.acast.com/s/theweeklyplanetAmazon Affiliate Link ► https://amzn.to/2nc12P4 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

FX's The Veil explores the surprising and fraught relationship between two women who play a deadly game of truth and lies on the road from Istanbul to Paris and London. One woman has a secret, the other a mission to reveal it before thousands of lives are lost. FX's The Veil, starring Elizabeth Moss, is now streaming on Disney+. Mason, I remember two things. One, everybody leaving a like on this video. And the second thing is... You remember that? I remember that.

That hasn't happened yet. Yeah, but I remember it. And the second thing I remember is that I was really excited... Some sort of fourth dimensional being? Yeah, probably, Mason. That's pretty cool. Isn't everybody in the Shrek movies some kind of fourth dimensional being? Probably.

They've got knowledge of pop culture from any direction. Right. Like any reference, any country, any point in time. Right. I don't get it. Yeah. And it's like, I think one of the characters in this is like, I was just in France. Where's this then?

I thought this was like a pocket dimension of some kind, but it's got a France? It's got a France, Mason. But you're right. It's sort of in the style of like, you know, Aladdin's genie, but it's got a France? It's got a France, Mason. Wow. But you're right. It's sort of in the style of like, you know, Aladdin's genie, where he's like... Yeah. But with fewer Jack Nicholson impressions, I guess.

Very true, Mason. But the second thing I remember is that I was really excited... I'm amazed you'd remember the second thing. I would have forgotten the second thing. No, no, I'm good. Alright. That I was really excited for Shrek the Third

because, you know, obviously, like most people, I enjoyed the first two movies. You had Shrek. That I was really excited for Shrek the Third, because, you know, obviously, like most people, I enjoyed the first two movies. You had Shrek fever. There was a bit of Shrek fever. And the box office results... You get it in a swamp. Oh, no, that's bad then, probably. Unless you're a Shrek, then it's good. Dissolves your balls.

That's good for a Shrek, though. Especially this Shrek. He doesn't want to have bloody kids, does he, mate? It's very true. That's what this is about, this movie. But this was the third theatrical released animated threequel after Pokemon 3, the movie, Spell of the Unknown. Oh, right.

And Rugrats Go Wild. Huh. So, you know, it was- Spring Break Rugrats. That's right. All the Rugrats get arrested. And it was also 3D animated, the first to be 3D animated and go to movies.

But this movie feels like a junior read-along storybook prequel And it was also 3D animated, the first to be 3D animated and go to movies. But this movie feels like a junior read-along storybook prequel to a better movie. It feels like a stopgap where it's like, oh, the minor villain from the last one, he's now the villain in this one. And the jokes, they're not really here as much. We didn't think about it as much. It all looks good. And I don't even mind a lot of the ideas in it, but maybe the key component of this is it's just not very funny. I thought it had a pretty good run initially, like the first bunch of jokes. I liked seeing Shrek and Fiona dressed up in sort of fancy nobleman finery,

which led me to the question, is Shrek just bald? I'd not thought about it because Fiona's an ogre and she's got hair. So you think he had male pattern baldness or he shaved his... Yeah, but human Shrek has hair. Yes. So what's going on there? Is it all the male... I'm pretty sure we've nailed down the fact that Shrek killed all the other ogres

and ate their eyeballs. Maybe. So did any of them have hair? Well, here's the thing. I'm pretty sure we've nailed down the fact that Shrek killed all the other ogres and ate their eyeballs. Maybe. So we'll talk about that next week. Did any of them have hair? Well, here's the thing. Next week when we talk about Shrek goes forth or in the fourth dimension or whatever it is. I knew it. There's a whole bunch of other ogres in it.

So I can't remember, but we're going to find that out. We're going to know. Don't tell us in the comments. You'd know, though. Like if they had like beehive hairdos You'd remember No I'd remember some form of hair Is what I'm saying And I don't

I don't remember any beehive hair situations Mustache and a mullet Exactly But the thing is I Like the idea that you know He's living in a castle And he doesn't like being part of this system

And you know he's like I don't like being in charge or whatever It's like We did this We did this We did a lot of this already And I think know, he's like, I don't like being in charge or whatever. It's like, we did this. We did this, yeah. We did a lot of this already. And I think you're right in the sense that the action subplot, which is just Prince Charming comes back and he brings in all the,

you know, the enchanted monsters or what have you. Which I like, actually, yeah. That, you know, that is fairly sort of, you're right, it does feel like kind of a second rate plot beat. But then what is supposed to be like the interpersonal plot is like Shrek doesn't want to become the king so he has to find the heir. So he goes and he finds Arthur

and he's like, hey Arthur, you're the next heir to the throne. And then later he learns that Shrek was the actual heir to the throne and he's like you lied to me Shrek. I thought I was the first heir to the throne but I'm actually the second heir to the throne. And he's like, you lied to me, Shrek. Yeah. I thought I was the first heir to the throne, but I'm actually the second heir to the throne. Who cares?

You wanted to do it and I don't want to do it. So what do you give a shit? Shrek, why don't you just go to him and be like, listen. I hate behind the wings. They need a king and I'm next in line, but I don't want to do it. Do you want to do it? Yes. Great.

It's really easy, honestly. And I think also the first movie you pair him up with Donkey, great. The second movie you pair him up with Puss in Boots, terrific. I love that even more. I fucking love Zorro Mason. You know that. That's right. We talked about it.

This one, little boy Justin Timberlake, fuck you. No. No. Pair him up with Mel Gibson from Lethal Weapon 1 when he's severely depressed. He's suicidally depressed. He's got the same haircut as Prince Charming. It's fine. It would fit into this universe.

I think so. I think they'd bounce well off each other. Yeah, I agree. Because, you know, Shrek's got Murtaugh's world weariness at this point. Exactly. I'm so tired of Far, Far Away, you'd say. Oh, you've been trapped in a towel, Riggs. Luckily you can dislocate your arm and get out of the straitjacket.

Slither out of it. Yeah. Yeah. See, I thought also, because I hadn't seen this in a while, I know like a plot point in this movie is he's going to be a dad. And I'm like, I'm a dad. And, you know, maybe I relate to the fact that Shrek hates being a dad. Right.

But I don't like this. Being a dad. No, I love being a dad. Interesting. It's the best, Mason. It's not for everybody, but I love being a dad interesting it's the best mason it's not for everybody but i love it i love it mason but shrek i don't feel anything when he's like i don't want kids okay great shrek that's really good is that because you're compelled to eat your kids james

no not me mason okay maybe just shrek and i'm not bored like shrek i've got my hair mason so true it's not a wig, is it? No. It's on the record, everybody. As mentioned, though, there's a few new cast members of note here. And the inclusion of Justin Timberlake, and he was also with Cameron Diaz around this time. I think they broke up in 2007.

Maybe that's the reason behind this casting. And there was a Prince Justin, remember the poster? I do remember that, yeah. It was a reference in the last movie, which is apparently a coincidence and whatever. Nothing. Awful. And I don't hate Justin Timberlake as an actor.

He was great in The Social Network. He was the great where everyone had their time on their wrists but the time was how many... It's wrist time time, the movie. How many minutes they had to go to work because they needed more minutes. I've got to go. It's wrist time time and the wrist time time police are here.

The movie. Based on the stage play. They've got to shoot the It's wrist time time, and the wrist time time police are here. The movie, based on the stage play. They've got to shoot the time off me or onto me. I don't like that, I think. Quick, block the bullets with your time wrist machine. Or don't. They say don't, but then it was fine. Just do it.

Now I'm free of the time. I didn't say that. I have seen it. It's got the world's best car crash ever committed to film. There's that, and also there's Eric Idle, who on the surface, wonderful addition, another member of Monty Python stepping into this universe. The idea of him being this weird kooky Merlin. Love all of that.

But nothing bad, boring, not funny, terrible design, bald. Don't like it, Mason. I've got all my hair. Sure, yeah. Anything less than that. Yuck. But I just. You know what I loved in this movie?

Bizarre needle drops. The wolf mother hadn't heard a wolf mother song in years. That's true. My goodness. Immigrant song from led zeppelin in that final battle sequence but my favorite one was at the king's funeral a chorus of frogs yep sings paul mccartney's live and let die from the bond movie live and let die correct did he request that i guess wild it is wild why Connection? At least that's a

frog-related song. I don't understand. There's also Damien Rice's... I think if I was at a funeral and they started playing Live and Let Die, I'd be like, someone's made a mistake here. Should we pause this? Talk to the priest? Yeah, that's it. Everybody knows

that if an old person dies, an old man specifically, you play I Did It My Way by Franklin Sinatra. Or It Wasn't Me by Shaggy and the guy who did all the singing in that song. The other guy. Depending on whether your granddad was a crooner or a scallywag. Or bald. Or bald.

That's right. I also thought the addition of Damien Rice's Nine Crimes, it kind of was put in, and I love that song, I think it's great, to be like the hallelujah moment, which they had in the first movie, like a sad moment. That's also a weird song to put in a movie. It is a weird song.

In a kid's movie, at that moment. I don't think they put in the tie you to a chair and the sex thing. I don't think they put that in the movie. But here. Gingerbread chair. Gingerbread chair. Gingerbread chair. That's a great moment where he flashes back his life, the gingerbread man.

That's a genuinely good joke. Terrific stuff. Loved it. Big fan. No inclusion of the giant freak gingerbread that they killed in the previous movie, Mason. There should have been a shot over his grave. His enormous grave.

Then you play live and let die exactly but i felt like that damien rice song also came in at a weird moment because it's like i just got you in here like you were talking about i just got you in here because i don't want to be king and i lied to you and it's like boom terrible plot point also i hate this casting you know and the idea of putting in eric idol i'm expecting like i don't know, like you mentioned Jack Nicholson. Was it Genie? What did you say? You said something earlier.

Yeah, do like a Robin Williams thing. I'll even take a Will Smith style Genie. Wow. Well, I was hoping that there'd be a collaboration or a re-teaming of Cleese and Idle. Yep. Like in their Monty Python days. That's right.

But no. And the 1993 movie, we looked it up before. We did look it up. It was, what was it, Mason? James, it was the movie Splitting Airs. That's right, which by all accounts is terrible, and I'd never heard of it. But, of course, more recently in 2015 they did absolutely everything,

a movie with so many people in it, which also nobody saw, it seems. Yeah. But, yeah, you're right. I mean, that would have been a great pairing. I've got a fun bit of trivia about him, actually, which we'll get to later. Eric Idle. Yeah, specifically. There's so much you could do with Merlin in this universe.

Look what they did with a cat with a sword. I mean, you can't do something better with Merlin than this. Get out of here. Okay, so there's also the body swap thing, which is just like Shrek and Donkey get handsome. It's just really... It was weird, right? I was expecting them to come through the portal

and all four of them would have had their personalities swapped around. Yeah. But not too much effort. And they also don't really do that much with it. Right? Like, I think there's more comedy to be had with a body swap, Mason. I just know. And, you know, I guess there's more comedy to be had with a body swap, Mason. I just know. And, you know, I guess there's a moment where Puss in Boots is donkey and he tries to do

the cute face, but he's ugly and whatever. There's that moment. I also, okay, here's a joke I liked. Here's a joke I liked, Mason. It's time for James' segment. Here's a joke I liked, Mason. There's a moment where... FX's The Veil explores the surprising and fraught relationship between two women who play a deadly game of truth and lies on the road from Istanbul to Paris and London.

One woman has a secret. The other, a mission to reveal it before thousands of lives are lost. FX's The Veil, starring Elizabeth Moss, is now streaming on Disney+. They see a flyer for a play that Prince Charming is putting on where he's going to kill Shrek and claim his part of leading the kingdom, et cetera, and so forth. And Donkey's like, Shrek, I didn't know you were in a play. And he's like, well, I've neglected to mention it because I've been very busy. I think that's great. The donkey thinks that Shrek, I didn't know you were in a play. And he's like, well, I've neglected to mention it because I've been very busy. I think that's great.

The donkey thinks that Shrek would just be in this play. And Shrek's just like, yeah, I was doing a play. I thought that was great, Mason. Big fan of that. But then there's other moments, you know, like the teaming up of all the princesses. The same idea of teaming up all the villains. Solid idea, right? But also you have the villains taking over the far, far away

land and then you have the princesses taking it back. But again, we did something like this in the last movie. And then the dragon kills the guy? The dragon killed the guy in the first movie. It's just... Children like dragons killing people. They do,

don't they? And parents like it because they can be like, and if you're naughty, I'll get a dragon to kill you. I'll kill you. I'll kill you. I wouldn't because I'm a good, Shrek would. Shrek would do it, yeah. Yeah. And then, you know, at the end it wraps up where they go,

and now King Arthur's king. Who gives a shit? Fuck this kid. He sucks. That's probably the reason why everybody hates him. Well, see, that's the thing. Because he's not a monster he seems he just seems like like snarky and rude because he's handsome and if you're handsome in this universe everything should be fine so what the fuck's wrong

with this guy great question we never we never learn and it's interesting right that he's the king now yeah but it's also interesting to like why because Shrek and Donkey go to find him at his high school, his medieval high school. Yeah. Where he is the most hated person there. Yeah. Why? Exactly. What crimes did he do?

Yep. Even the nerds hate him. Nine crimes. Yeah, exactly. Wow. And can beat him up? Like what is he good for? Nothing.

Yeah. Ridiculous. Here's a theory though. Okay. You've got to throw in a Shrek theory every time, mate. This one has the least amount of theories because there's just not a lot going on in this movie. Next week, it's going to be Theory City, mate. Is it?

I'd say that much. Have you seen four? I have. Long time ago. But yes. Prince Charming and Artie, King Arthur. They look the same. They've got the same father, right?

I mean, they're both royalty. They have the same hair. They've got the same wig maker. Same wig maker. Like, he's just a shrunken version. Maybe Charming is his father. Yeah. So, I don't know.

That's a theory that has been posited before online. And they're both awful, you know? And they're both incredible ladies' men, it seems. Also, we only meet Lance a lot. Yeah. We don't meet any of the other ones. No. What did you say, the Green Knight?

No. Galahad. Don't see any of those guys ones. No. We didn't see the Green Knight. No. No. Galahad. Don't see any of those guys. Could have got Michael Palin to be Galahad. Sure could have, yeah. Who we might have beat in Holy Grail. Yeah, right.

Or a different one. I can't remember. Mason, though, it is something that, this really grinds my goat, Mason. I'll tell you what. Oh, no. Your signature goat. It's continuity errors in movies. Oh, no.

And this one is rougher than them. So I'm just going to go through a few if you don't mind, Mason. Is this continuity errors with the previous Shrek movies or just movies in general? Just this one. I think you could contain this to just this movie. So the gingerbread man says that the play that they're watching at the start is worse

than the play Love Letters, but that play was originally published in 1989 unless Shrek is set in a post-apocalyptic future, Mason. Maybe. Maybe it's set in the Cars universe. Exactly. Cars over here and there's freaks over here. Or post the Cars universe.

Oh, after the Cars have evolved into fairy tale creatures. No, I think they probably all died of, like, exhaust fumes and global warming and whatever. I assume. Okay. And then these horrible creatures emerged from the swamp. That's right. All right. That's why they were all in the swamp earlier. Okay. I assume. Okay. And then these horrible creatures emerge from the swamp. That's right. All right.

That's why they were all in the swamp earlier. Exactly. First movie. Yep. The school band. That was them all being born. There's like a scene zero on the Blu-ray where they just. The school band is playing All Star at a prep rally.

And this was actually performed by a real high school... A pep rally or a prep rally? Yeah, whatever. We don't have that shit in Australia, so it's whatever the fuck I say it is, Mason. They played it at a school assembly, at an all-school assembly near the portables. No, that was actually performed by a real high school band

for authenticity. But here's the thing, that song was released in 1999, unless, of course, Shrek is set in a post-apocalyptic future, Mason. And he's set in a post-apocalyptic future. One of the songs that Julie Andrews mutters after headbutting a wall is Favourite Things. But here's the thing, Mason, that song was actually part of the musical The Sound of Music, which was released in 1969.

So that doesn't make sense unless Shrek is set in a post-apocalyptic universe, Mason. Also, Shrek throws a bottle, like a glass bottle, and it breaks the side of a ship and then the sail on the ship immediately catches fire, like straight away. And that doesn't make any sense, unless Shrek is set in a post-apocalyptic future where maybe there's some kind of virus or nanotechnology that did

that. What a world. What a world! Maybe a mortal world. I thought that was a funny bit, though. I'm delighted whenever anything just randomly catches on fire. Okay, fair enough. I thought you meant that thing that I just that was a funny bit though. I'm delighted whenever anything just randomly catches on fire. Okay, fair enough. I thought you meant that thing that I just did

but that's fine too. Oh, the bit you did? Yeah, that was also fine. Great, excellent. Oh my god, the bit you did just caught on fire. Now that's comedy.

That's comedy. And this is green trivia but it's not called green trivia because of the Shrek franchise. We've talked about this already. Mason, Eric Idle, upon seeing the

coconuts as horse hooves sound effect you know that we saw at the start of the movie in the stage show, he admonished the makers of the movie publicly he claimed they were ripping off Monty Python and the Holy Grail and stealing their joke. Whoa, Eric Idle

more like Eric proactively critical. Mmm, very good. This is also the only film in the franchise where Shrek and Fiona do not have an exchange. Unprotected sex. Protected sex. Correct. Hence the baby.

It could have happened in between movies, but yes. So they don't actually exchange true love's kiss to solve any kind of problem. They drop a tower on the guy and whatever. Sure. More effective, I think, in a lot of cases. I think so, yeah. This is actually the last film in the Shrek franchise where we see-

Hooray! Oh, there's more. No, where we see Shrek getting kicked in the groin, which I think is bad news. Oh, in the next one, he's about to be kicked in the groin. He's like, please, God, no. I've been kicked in the groin so many times. And I had that swamp disease that dissolved my balls. It's just a mess.

It's a soup down there. Please, please stop. I'm in constant crotch-related pain. Just a couple of, you know, those soup-filled dumplings hanging about down there, Mason. I'm going to take two ibuprofen and go to bed. Here's the names that you might have recognised. John Krasinski plays Lancelot. Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph.

They play Snow White and Rapunzel. And Seth Rogen is a ship captain or something. So this is like 2007 also, before these names really took off, you know? Now, the scene where Donkey and Puss in Boots switch bodies, Mason, that's actually a reference to Gilligan's Island, The Friendly Physician. No, it's not. Who is this? We're going to track this guy down.

He was in one of the other ones as well. I don't know about that. Is it you? It's not me. I've barely seen Gilligan's Island. Explain your corncob pipe then. And your skipper's hat. It was my father's, who also has not bald, just to clarify.

He's got a great head of hair. I agree. The scene in which Doris carries Sleeping Beauty over her shoulder, that actually also references Gilligan's Island, our vines have tender apes. The part where Shrek, Donkey, Puss in Boots and Arty get shipwrecked on an island, that is a reference to Gilligan's Island.

So yeah, somebody is in here doing this. Someone who knows a lot about Gilligan's Island. Is this a prank? It's not me, genuinely. What is this? What's happening? Someone who knows a lot about Gilligan's Island. They're all dead? It's not me, genuinely. What is this? What's happening? Someone who knows a lot about Gilligan's Island. They're all dead, right?

Everyone in that show, mostly dead? Someone has an encyclopedic knowledge. Could it be the professor? No, he died in real life. Could it be Jim Carrey's The Cable Guy? Yes. Or some kind of weird freak like that? Yeah.

Yeah, good stuff. Here's the thing, Mason. Box office-wise, this paid off somewhat. So it had a budget of $160 million and a box office return of $813 million. And it did actually have the biggest box office opening of any animated movie. That was until Toy Story 3 in 2010.

But it still made, as a result of word of mouth and a shorter theatrical run, about $130 million less than the last movie. Oh, no, no, no. I just think the quality of this, it speaks to those numbers. That's not always the case. Most recent Puss in Boots movie bombed so hard that everybody associated with it, they all quit their jobs and went back to work in whatever small towns they came from, Mason.

It's a shame. I hear this one's good. It is good. It's incredible, Mason. It's a shame. I hear this one's good. It is good. It's incredible, Mason. It's actually incredible. Do you think it's maybe because people have memories of this movie, like negative memories, the time that Shrek showed his genitals to a room full of baby ogres?

Do you think that's what it was? I think it might have been, which I think is inappropriate. Dream or no dream. Don't do it. I don't think you should do that. You should go to jail regardless. I think so, yeah. Yeah, I mean, the director of this movie also went on to direct the first Puss in Boots movie, which I think is, from memory, it's pretty solid.

I think the newer one is better. But yeah, I don't know what happened here. Did you have a shreckingly good time? Yeah, I had a shreckingly good time. No, you didn't. No, I didn't. I'm just kidding. I just like saying that.

I have a shreckingly good time every time I you didn't. No, I didn't. I'm just kidding. I just like saying that. I have a shreckingly good time every time I say that phrase. Well, that is certainly true. Yeah, this one was a, you're right, it felt like filler, this one. Yeah. But I'm interested to see what the fourth one is like upon a rewatch because I remember thinking it was much better than this. Okay. And it's a lot of Shrek also being like,

I don't want to be a dad and I'm going to change time. Again? Yeah, but it's time now. Time travel and being like, I don't want to be a dad and I'm going to change time. Again? But time now. Time travel and whatever. Is this a Santa Claus 3 situation? Yes, Mason. Whoa! It is.

Ah! Great reference to a series of movies we looked at and loved. It's very true. Yeah. Anyways, if you do want to come back and see that, that's actually going to go up early at bigsandwich.co, where these caravan of garbages, they always go up early't they mason yes and it's not the only thing i know that's right and that's not the only thing there if you if you do want to sign up for nine bucks

a month it's like our private patreon our podcast the weekly planet where we talk movies and comics and tv shows comes out there a day early on sunday as opposed to monday there's also other bonus podcasts and movie commentaries there is a a huge back catalogue of stuff there. Thousands of hours of us just yap, yap, yapping away. A million hours it seems like. It seems like that but it's not. It's closer to thousands of hours. It's still quite a lot. Yeah, I agree. Anyway, so what does everyone think of this? It's bad.

It's the worst one but let me know if you think it's not. But it is. So that's just how it is. Thanks everyone. That's just the way it is. Things will never be the same. Could be in one of those movies. I agree. Any of them at any point.

Yeah. All right, bye. We've restarted the recording. We stopped the recording. We had to do the thing at the end. What did I say? Grab that Shrek, everyone. Yeah, that's it.

2023, the year of grabbing that Shrek. Yeah. Not by his Shreks. They are shattered. Don't do it. He won't like it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He won't like it.

Don't do it. You won't like it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You won't like it. Don't do it. FX's The Veil explores the surprising and fraught relationship between two women who play a deadly game of truth and lies on the road from Istanbul to Paris and London. One woman has a secret. The other, a mission to reveal it before thousands of lives are lost. FX's The Veil, starring Elizabeth Moss, is now streaming on Disney+.