The Weekly Planet - Star Wars: Attack Of The Clones - Caravan Of Garbage

Episode Date: May 5, 2022

Star Wars: Episode II Attack Of The Clones is largely believed to be the middle film in the prequel trilogy. Dealing with the genesis of the clone army and wars it has us witness forbidden love blossom between Anakin Skywalker and Padme Amidala, a new Sith Lord in Count Dooku, an assassination whodunnit and Yoda's first on screen lightsaber battle. Oh and the origin of Jango/Boba Fett and those bombs that go bwooooaaaaarrwwwww which is pretty cool. Thanks for listening to our Caravan Of Garbage review!SUBSCRIBE HERE ►► http://goo.gl/pQ39jNVideo Edition ► https://youtu.be/epsZW4amaI0Help support the show and get early episodes ► https://bigsandwich.co/Patreon ► https://patreon.com/mrsundaymoviesJames' Twitter ► http://twitter.com/mrsundaymoviesMaso's Twitter ► http://twitter.com/wikipediabrownPatreon ► https://patreon.com/mrsundaymoviesT-Shirts/Merch ► https://www.teepublic.com/stores/mr-sunday-movies The Weekly Planet iTunes ► https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-weekly-planet/id718158767?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4 The Weekly Planet Direct Download ► https://play.acast.com/s/theweeklyplanetAmazon Affiliate Link ► https://amzn.to/2nc12P4 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of Caravan of Garbage, where, yes, we are making our way through the Star Wars prequels. We could just say the prequels and people would know what we're talking about, right? Is there a more famous set of prequels, do you think? The Hobbit prequels? No. The Harry Potter prequels. We could just say the prequels and people would know what we're talking about, right? Is there a more famous set of prequels, do you think? The Hobbit prequels. No. The Harry Potter prequels. No.

That Indiana Jones movie that's a prequel. Is it? What? Which one? Temple of Doom. Oh, yeah. And also young Indiana Jones Chronicles, Mason. Oh, my God.

I forgot about edutainment. I completely forgot about edutainment. Well, we're not being edutainments this week, are we, Mason? No, that's very true. I'll leave a like because, of course, we are talking about Attack of the Clones from 2002. Let me ask you this, James. I love questions. I love answers.

When this movie came out, people were like, excuse me, Attack of the Clones? That's a dumb name. Is it? I mean, they're all kind of dumb, aren't they? In the context of all the other ones, Attack of the Clones is not dumber than The Empire Strikes Back. Yeah. It's just people had more time to adjust to the name The Empire Strikes Back. And it's like Pulpy and 1950s-y and Flash Gordon-y.

Exactly. And in keeping with that. Except in the 50s it would have been Attack of the Minorities. We'd be like, no! But in keeping with that. Clones wasn't a thing. When did Clones become a thing? It's not important.

No, I think it's important. Okay, great. When do you think it would have been? Probably a long time ago. Yeah, I'd imagine so. In a galaxy far, far away. If this movie's anything to go by. But in keeping with that kind of 1950s aesthetic

and jumping into an adventure, it feels like a couple of movies happened between this movie and the last in the opening crawl. Yes. It's like several thousand solar systems want to leave the Republic. Count Dooku is leading the separatists. And it's like, what? What happened? What?

Count Dooku is leading the separatists. And I know it's been 10 years, but it's a little like catch up. And then it leaves a lot of things up in the air and then just doesn't really answer them in movies, I should specify. I mean, you know, we are hampered here in the fact that we weren't't really answer them in movies i should specify yeah i mean you know we are hampered here in the fact that we never we weren't around for like 1950s serials did they do that or was it really like yeah was there in between like an episode of a sci-fi serial you saw at the movies was there a like a narrative gap or was it i suspect if you you

write it it would have been just like no they filmed it all in one go. They filmed it all in one day and it would have carried on immediately. There wouldn't be room for like, let's introduce and pay more actors. No, no, no, no, no. We don't do that. Yeah, it is a little jarring. So this time around, though, George Lucas didn't hand in the shooting script until three days before. Also, it's been 10 years.

Oh, yeah, it's been 10 years, absolutely. So this time around, George Lucas didn't hand in the shooting script until three days before so the creation of worlds and characters and ships and all this behind the scenes work and previous and creating digital characters and environments and also there's still a bunch of model work in this i'm going to talk about that in a second so they were making all of these things as they were filming well well that and they were making them before they started filming, not knowing how long each of them would be on screen. So it's like how much time and effort and detail do you dedicate to a character that might be a background character?

Yeah, do we develop an entire city planet with every district and every shopping strip and so on and so forth, not knowing if Obi-Wan and Anakin are going to visit the shopping strip and do one of those scenes where they have a bunch of bags in their hands and they spin around.

You know? That's it. Imagine if you designed all those shopping bags with all the different Star Wars universe boutiques and then Lucas is like, we're not going to do the scene

where they spin around. There's no time. There's no time for your My Fair Lady nonsense. We're not going to give Anakin a little glow up. He already looks great. He looks great. He comes in at 100%.

He's in the, and I'm sure people have pointed this out, he is in the could fall to the dark side or remain in the light side outfit. Oh, absolutely. Because famously, of course, the good guys always wear like a light color or a beige and the bad guys are in black. But he's in a fetching black and brown.

He's in a look too. Where do you even get that? I'm pretty sure that's not regulation. He had to go to a Jedi tailor and a Sith tailor and then he stitched, and he got half each and then he stitched them together at home.

Okay, that makes sense. He brought back a gray Jedi. He resurrected that order just like, now can you fix this outfit? Apparently there is no Grey Jedi. Apparently it's not a thing in continuity. Just so you know, Mason. I don't know.

We're going to get comments. I'm going to forget. Okay, good. So yeah, even though this is a very digital movie, do you remember when a lot of movies just looked like Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, by the way? Yes, I do. That movie was groundbreaking in a lot of ways, but not script-wise.

No, also it looked like it was filmed in a cupboard. It sure did, yes. But still, yeah, I agree. Groundbreaking. It's a cupboard, but also there's a fire happening in a building and all your smoke detectors are going off. It's just very foggy. Yeah, that's true.

Very foggy in there. But that being said, there is a bunch of model work in this. Okay. Like the Geonosis Arena, all of the buildings are mostly miniatures. A lot of interiors, like inside of the Camino facility, they built and then filmed for real. And the reason is it was quicker to do that than to create digital backgrounds at this point.

So a lot of the time they're just blowing those up and then for lack of a better way of putting this, making the actors fit there to scale. Interesting. Now Dexter Jetster's diner. Yes. Real or? Real.

Whoa. Very real, Mason. So we could visit it. Yeah, we could definitely visit. Well, we could definitely visit it because it was filmed in Australia. Jay LaGaia, Rose Byrne. Jack Thompson. Jack Thompson, the first nude male centrefold in Clio magazine, 1972. Joel Edgerton.

Joel Edgerton. Susie Porter is in the diner in the background. Yeah, absolutely. There's a bunch of that going on here. Boy, Porter is in the diner in the background. Yeah, absolutely. There's a bunch of that going on here. Boy, it really takes you out of a movie when you go, isn't that the guy with the death sticks? Did I see him in the TV show Spellbinder or something? James, let me tell you this.

If I existed a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away and I was offered death sticks, a product called death sticks in a nightclub, I simply would not purchase and consume them. You know it's a metaphor, right? No, it isn't. No, it's pretty much not, yeah. Furthermore, James, if I were a changeling and I were being pursued by a- What would you changeling into?

Anything else. Changeling-a-ding. I simply would not stay looking exactly the same. And slip away. Well, the thing is about those changelings, and we know this from the comics later on, more recently, they can change into anything. So I'd change into like a broom or a hat stand or something.

I'd change into a death stick dealer. Yeah. And Obi-Wan would be like, simply go away. He'd be like, nailed it. I will go away. I will go away. Thank you. So this was one of the first blockbusters.

Oh, it's actually- One of the first blockbusters? Well, in's actually... One of the first blockbusters? Well, in a way, Mason. There were movies shot on digital before, but this was easily the biggest to do so. And in doing so, they had to get custom cameras built from Sony and lenses from a different company. And there are a couple of advantages to this.

And you know Sony and a different company don't get along. Oh, my God, yeah. If you ever tried to get a charger for your PS Vita, forget about it. From different company, they'll never do it. But there's a few advantages to that. One being there's no film processing. Okay. So you can basically take what you've shot in the day.

It's already synced up the audio and the video and you can just look at it on the spot. Okay. You know, it's ready to go. But the disadvantage is those cameras, because they were the first of their kind, enormous. The size of a bus, really unwieldy, know well guess what not my problem they're not bringing them into the cinema are they i don't care yeah i don't care if you all have bad backs after this you know what i liked about this movie is in contrast to maybe perhaps modern blockbusters that are being filmed on digital is actually like crisp color and just,

just very vibrant as opposed to like your modern blockbuster where it's just like put a grain on it, put a grain on it. Yeah. It's funny. You should say that. Shadows are gray. I don't,

I don't like it. Yeah. You say that. And Star Wars has actually gone back to film since then. But because these were the early cameras, they had to be a lot of color adjustment work to make it look like this because I get the image back and it's like, this looks like shit. Like tweak it a work to make it look like this because i get the image back and it's like this looks like shit like they had to tweak it a lot to make it look like this and at

the time like i did not like the aesthetic and there's still a lot of this that i feel doesn't hold up as much as like the phantom menace but it does now that it's like 20 years on there is like a nostalgic kind of feel to this you know what i I mean, this has always been one of my least favourite Star Wars movies. Even more so than Phantom Menace. Yes. But I think I've come around on a lot of it. And I don't know whether a lot of that is nostalgia also, but you know, the idea of Obi-Wan

goes on a little detective adventure. That's fun! He's running about the galaxy! You know what I liked, and I appreciate it, and I think you maybe mentioned it in brief last week, I enjoyed the idea of seeing the the jedi in their prime yeah you know just just the just the idea that they had just i i you know there's a lot of fun to be had in just the idea of them but like leaping off a speeder and falling hundreds of stories yeah because they got the skills they got the skills and they know they got the skills they're gonna land on something

some of them have the skills some of them have of them just get shot. Okay, that is also true. You know what I... And also, like, I understand that this is... We're witnessing the decline of the Jedi Order in this. Yeah, there's a lot of hubris. Like, the librarian... Oh, my God. Everybody is so smug and so wrong.

Yeah, the librarian's like, nah, if it's not in the library, it doesn't exist. That's a great character who they've fleshed out in the comics since Jocasta knew. But, yeah, the idea of just like. Jedi librarian. Yeah, they're like, oh, it seems as if there's some kind of gravity while like a planet could be in this blank spot on the map.

Probably a mistake. Probably simply a shadow. That's right. Let's not investigate it further. There's a line where they're like, oh, what's going to happen in the future? And Yoda's like, the dark side clouds everything. And I'm like, oh, boo-hoo. You can't use your magic.

Might have to rely on some actual intuition. Oh, sorry. Sorry you haven't exercised that in 500 years, Yoda. Yeah, no, you're right, though. And you see them falling apart. They're not used to this kind of action. You know, in the arena, 200 200 show up but maybe 20 get out you know they just they're just not equipped for this kind of you know situation and speaking of

yoda how do you feel about the digital yoda this time around this is we have a video before i where i've talked about like why did they do this because they went out of their way to to make it look like a puppet and add all the imperfections but But there is something about it that, yeah, there are certain things you can do. And I'm not just talking about the flipping and the spinning. Sure. Oh, I forgot about the flipping and the spinning. We'll get to that in a little bit.

We'll get to that. But, you know, it can emote in a way, but also the way that they went back to that for The Last Jedi, that's the way they really should be doing it. It's definitely an admirable attempt, and it works, I think, in in this movie but if you put that in a movie now, it doesn't. I don't think it would translate. Couldn't do it these days.

Not with cancel culture, Maxon. Not with cancel culture. Lightsabers don't mean anything, do they? What do you mean? I mean, you know, it's kind of like... Oh, you mean like they're supposed to be a significant device like an iconic thing in a Jedi's life and they build it and it has a lot of significance to them.

Yeah. But in this movie, they're just like, hey, Obi-Wan and Anakin need some help. Chuck them some lightsabers. Yeah, and there's even a scene where Obi-Wan's like, this is really important. Don't lose this. And they both lose them, you know?

Yeah. It's good stuff. But yeah, I think that also takes away from the idea of this Skywalker legacy lightsaber. It's like, oh, that lightsaber he had for like two years before he fell into the fire. Like, you know what I mean? People talk about how it's Anakin's lightsaber

and it's an important lightsaber. The most important thing that lightsaber's done is kill a bunch of kids, really. You know what I mean? It's very true, yeah. That's the legacy of that lightsaber. But that's nostalgia, you know? Yeah, it is.

You know, you're like, oh my God. You know, you talk to your dad and you're like, oh, look at these cool action figures you had as a kid or whatever. And they're like, I don't remember those. That's what a lightsaber is. It certainly is. You know what I think is interesting about this movie? I think there is a lot of it that is in reaction

to the reception of the previous movie. And where that stands out the most is Jar Jar. You know what I mean? The role is greatly reduced. George Lucas gives him the, this is the guy who gave all the power to the Emperor scene. Okay, sure, yeah. Which was like, you hate this guy, do you?

Well, now you're going to really hate him. Sure. But I do wonder how much of his character being pulled back was to do with the reception and how much was to do with merch sales. Oh, like people didn't like those lollipops. Those Jar Jar Tongue lollipops. But you know what I mean?

Did they end up with just landfills filled with these characters? Maybe, just piling them on top of the E.T. cartridges. I mean, maybe, yeah. How do you feel about the Star Wars fan theory that in fact Jar Jar Binks was a dark Jedi who deliberately brought about the end of the Republic. Look, it's proven not to be true, and I don't hate the theory, but I just think it's – there's not that much evidence to make that –

Except for his big flips. Yeah, his big flips. Sure, no, you're absolutely right. Yeah. No, I just think it's – who cares is my answer to that, I guess. Great point, James. Terrific point. And also George Lucas was going to make him speak regular English in this

to just be like, oh, he can speak English, but he didn't in the last movie. Oh, he got a My Fair Lady glow up. That's right, exactly. But then obviously they cut out the scene where he spins around with all the bags. But they've replaced. I think this also does like the worst work with C-3PO. Okay. Like giving all the annoying jokes and lines to him in particular in that last sequence.

And he was hanging onto the ship, which I don't, his hands can't grip, let alone like hang off a big flying platform droid or whatever. You know what I mean? Sure. Yeah. Yeah. And he's just very, it's just very annoying. And, you know, it cuts between like Jedi being gunned down and a man being beheaded to C-3po being like oh no what's what's happening somebody help me you know yeah and i know that is

kind of the role of c-3po but i just don't think it kind of it doesn't really work here i actually think they did him really well in the rise of skywalker which is a movie i do not particularly like there you go but yeah there you go so So the worst bounty hunter in the world has an assassination attempt. Okay, so Dooku wants to assassinate Padme. Yes. So he hires Jango Fett who outsources his assassination to the Changeling person. Who outsources it to a droid.

To a droid who outsources it to a couple of poison worms, I guess. Worms, millipede things. And then they've clearly been told, okay, if this assassination attempt fails, just go back to home base. Really lead the Jedi to Mary Chase back to me personally. That's what I want. I want you. And then Jango's just hanging out, ready to assassinate that lady.

Yeah, absolutely. I would have left. I would have also left. Yeah, the idea that she's anywhere near any of that. I mean, you send off the droid with the worms in it. Then you go to... Go anywhere. A different diner.

Go to a Star Wars bar. Yeah. A different Star Wars bar. Go to Galaxy's Edge. I'm loving seeing a Star Wars bar by the way let me just say did you notice the bit where Obi-Wan cut off a hand like in the other Obi-Wan movie

yes I did notice that yes it's good to notice things and then bring it up because then otherwise people will say we didn't bring it up well we brought it up because we noticed it

that's right but that whole chase sequence like it's kind of cool but there's also an element of so Anakin's just invincible till he isn't I mean you mentioned the fall from great height there's a moment later on the so Anakin's just invincible till he isn't. I mean, you mentioned the fall from great height.

There's a moment later on the conveyor belt where he just gets his arm completely pressed in a sheet of metal, and it's fine. Yeah. But then at the end, he loses the fight or whatever. That's foreshadowing, James. I guess it is foreshadowing. There's a moment where Obi-Wan's like, what have I told you about power couplings?

Speaking of bloody power couplings, we'll bloody get to it, Mason. What, what, don't go through the power couplings. But like nothing happens. They just, they just cruise out the other side. The ship doesn't, you know. It didn't, couldn't go over it, couldn't go around it. We didn't like see them get electrocuted and we saw their skeletons on the inside. That's true, yeah.

I wanted to see that. I wanted to see all of that, Mason. I wanted them to just be reduced to uncle owen and aunt beru like burnt charred corpses and just the speed of slides to a halt and then there's just an awkward funeral and that's the rest of the that's the rest of the movie speaking of yeah when mace windu kills django fett yeah i recall that his head falls out of the helmet, but obviously that doesn't happen. Well, it does fall out of the helmet. You see it when the shadow of the helmet flies off.

The shadow of the head moves across the ground. Okay, right. Apparently they were thinking of doing that at one point, like putting the head in. And I think I might have even very crudely animated it in an old video from ages ago. But no, it's not a thing, unfortunately. I mean, we'd all love to see it. Don't get me wrong. Let's talk about Django, though.

Well, first of all, they get to him through Dexter Jetster, who for the first time I noticed has a mustache. Because there's so much going on in that room and on him, and I just never realized he had a mustache. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which I feel is period incorrect. I think he probably should have had sideburns. I agree. As opposed to a moustache. I completely

agree. Or sideburns that connect to a moustache. Yes. You're right. Like Wilford Brimley style. Wilford Brimley, yes. Yeah. So just quickly though, Obi-Wan orders a cup of Jawa juice. Pressed Jawas? That's right. This beverage originated on Tatooine and it's made from banthahide mashed with fermented

grains. Sounds awful. Anyways. And a bit boozy. The Obi-Wan, you getting your buzz on before you do some investigating? Let's talk about buzz just quickly. Because one of the theories behind who tried to kill Queen Amidala, Senator Amidala, whatever. She's always a queen to me.

Thank you. When she was 14, elected queen, by the way, what the fuck system is that? Well, we don't know how ages work in this universe. That's always a queen to me. Thank you. When she was 14, elected queen, by the way, what the fuck system is that? Well, we don't know how ages work in this universe. That's true. Again, they might all be, from our perspective, they might all be 1,000 years old and 1,000 feet tall. You're right.

You're absolutely right. So one of the theories that I think Mace Windu floats is disgruntled spice miners of the moons of Naboo tried to kill her, right? So I looked into this. First of all, I'm confused because Naboo tried to kill her, right? So I looked into this. First of all, I'm confused because, like, spice is illegal, right? It's an illegal, illicit substance. It's so vague and illegal.

I love it. And expensive. Very expensive. Vaguely expensive. You could buy a whole diner with it, maybe. Yeah. Maybe you could, yeah. Or a town.

Buy a town with it. Buy a town with it. So some miners on the moons of Naboo, I looked into this, repeatedly went on strike for larger shares of the profits. Some splinter groups committed minor political violence, such as breaking windows and security shields, even burning an empty warehouse on Naboo itself. I love how they did that and they went,

yeah, these guys are capable of murder, I reckon. Are they clearly just trying to form a union? And the Jedi, the cops, are just like, nah, these guys are all murderers. Why are they allowed to- Unlike us, we've never murdered anybody. Is this a legal or illegal operation also? Great question, isn't it? Because they all are getting paid, but not enough.

And it's all off Naboo, which is apparently- Is that a criminal planet? What's happening? It's politics, Mason. I love it. Same. Anyway, Jango Fett, right? He's the one who does it.

And he's like, I want a boy. I want a boy who not only looks just like me, he is me. Due to his genetic code. Very odd. I don't want him to be genetically modified until he grows up really fast. I want to just raise a kid this slow way and it's really frustrating.

And I'm tired all the time sure i could have him be a my son and also a 30 year old man but i refuse and we'll still the right way yeah you know what i mean but yeah what a rotten little kid well it's boba fett i know but i mean it's just just like jango's like now we're gonna we're we're going to pursue this guy through the asteroid field. We're going to kill him. And Boba Fett's like, yeah, he, he, he, he, he, yuck. Yuck, little kid. No wonder he went bad.

I'm a big fan. Well, he did, though. He came good, didn't he? I guess. Remember, he became good recently. Inexplicably became good, and he was always good. He became a sheriff or something. Yes.

Yeah. I do, speaking of things I like from this movie, I really love that fight in the rain with Obi-Wan. Mostly because it's slightly different. They're just slipping about and headbutting each other. There's a big karate kick in it. A big flying kick. That's a risky kick to take.

In the wet? In the wet, sure. That's right. In a big cloak? You'll blow your ankle. You'll land on your hip. My goodness. Also, there's a moment where Jango does a horizontal climb across a pillar.

And seeing that now, I'm like, that's crazy. Like, the amount of strength you take to do that, and then fire a rocket off your back holding onto this slippery wet pillar. Incredible. Incredible upper body and core strength, Mason. That's right. Yeah. Anyways, Obi-Wan should have used, like, all of his Jedi powers wet pillar. Incredible. Incredible upper body and core strength, Mason. That's right. Yeah. Anyways, Obi-Wan should have used, like, all of his Jedi powers in that.

Nah. Why are you going hand to hand? Good question. Just throw him off the cliff. Crush his heart. Crush his heart. Yeah. Maybe, um, maybe the, what's the metal called?

Best car. Maybe the best car prevents heart crushing. It's got gaps. Yeah, it's got gaps, doesn't it? Yeah, yeah. Well, bloody Obi-Wan's got some gaps in his bloody's got gaps. Yeah, it's got gaps, doesn't it? Yeah, yeah. Or bloody Obi-Wan's got some gaps in his bloody Jedi power knowledge. Oh, you're not wrong, mate. I mean, look, I love Ewan McGregor in these movies,

but the worst detective. Maybe he's the best detective. Yeah. Maybe in this galaxy this is what a good detective looks like. Yeah. Just not figuring things out. You know what I mean? He's given the runaround.

Children are telling him what to do. I mean, that being said, a real chameleon. He shows up at Kamino and they're like, you must be the Jedi who hired us. And he's like, yeah, man. Yeah, that whole sequence of just like, I'm Obi-Wan Kenobi. That's my name.

And if that's a clue that perhaps I'm not the Jedi that hired you, I don't know what to do. But I can't lie. I can't say I'm not Obi-Wan Kenobi. That whole sequence is bizarre because they're like, so you want to see the clones? And he's like, uh, yes, I do actually. Good thing these creatures can't read faces, I think.

I don't know what's going on here. But he's just throwing out like just wrong information he's like they're like cypher deus came here and did it and he's like cypher deus is dead and they're like oh and i'm like don't say that just go interesting what else do you know what are you doing yeah what are you doing mate spill the tea please spill the java tea so when uh this is a fun thing you know how george lucas loves to change things after that is a fun thing yeah so apparently in the original cinematic cut of this jango fett doesn't try to ignite his backpack to escape but then for the dvd he does so there's a moment where

he's like i'm gonna use my jetpack to get away from mace window he fires it up it doesn't work and he just gets oh interesting he just gets wiped out okay all right and here's something that people might be interested in uh there's a great star wars channel called bombastic and he actually got someone to go back and to complete that whole sequence of jango fett being killed because mace window actually runs in and like carves him up before he beheads him like he he takes off an arm, he like slashes him. It's like a horrible murder. It's not just a clean beheading.

Like he really takes his time on it. When is this though? Just before he beheads him. Oh, but that's not in the movie. No, it's not. But you can see it. It's here now. Thank you Bombastic Clips.

Oh, this is just a fun imagining of a man being dismembered. Exactly. Oh, I love it. Yeah. It's really weird. Go on. That they paired Anakin and Padme together. And I think they might have just done it because they had to be together.

Do you get that sense? I do. And also they're like, you'll be safe on Naboo. Oh, how are we going to get them there? I know. We'll get the head of the Naboo guard and we'll get a guy in Jedi robes to drop them both at the bus station. Nobody will see this, right? That's fine.

Nobody's going to notice us dropping these very famous and like obvious senator off. Just incredible. As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors, like when our estrogen levels drop during menopause, causing the risk of heart disease to go up. Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca

FX's The Veil explores the surprising and fraught relationship between two women who play a deadly game of truth and lies on the road from Istanbul to Paris and London. One woman has a secret. The other, a mission to reveal it before thousands of lives are lost. FX's The Veil, starring Elizabeth Moss, is now streaming on Disney+. Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever? Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH,

the Center for Addiction and Mental Health, to support life-saving progress in mental health care. From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So, who will you rise for? Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. And also, Anakin's got the Jedi haircut.

You know what I mean? It's true. I would have sent one of the horse-faced Jedis, quite frankly. Yeah. And the thing with Anakin is he's got very obvious mental health problems. I agree. Right? And the idea that if you're not feeling great in this universe as a Jedi,

they send you to Yoda, I guess. And he goes, you seem a bit angry. You're not angry. We don't do that. Yeah. If you could just. Are there no other systems in place here? Just pipe down.

Just pack it down in your soul. Just, yeah. It shouldn't come out again if you pack it down tight enough. Yeah. Yeah. And just the whole idea that. Why don't you go visit your mom well that's the thing so what happened to shmi skywalker in this movie how did how did we get here so i did

some i did some research right i love how i love how anakin shows up to watto and and and he's like where's my mother and and he's like oh i sold her and he's like you sold her that's the he's already a slave owner you know him yeah that's the best case scenario really yeah yeah so apparently a few years before the clone wars owen lars or the larses took a trip to uh the spaceport settlement of moss esper where they met shmi skywalker who was owned by watto there's no other information or they didn't used to be it was just lars fell in love with Shmi and bought her from Watto, thus freeing her from slavery. And the two married and lived together as husband and wife.

Okay. If you look at that scenario just on the surface, that's terrible. Falling in love and being like, we're in love and now I'm going to... Purchase you. Purchase you. I mean, I guess it worked out sort of for a time, I guess. It's like those stories your grandparents are like, yeah, and I asked her out every day for five years

and eventually she said yes and then the week after we were married. Sounds like a hostage situation. That's actually terrible. That was actually recently retconned. Not your grandparents, that was real. That Aunt Beru, a famous Star Wars character who does nothing, created a plot to free her from Watto in a rigged gambling game.

She went, we're going to fucking Qui-Gon Jinn this shit. This guy is a moron. We can pull this off. And after that, they led like a miniature slave revolution together. Okay. Yeah, but it didn't last for long because of the kidnapping. It didn't last for long. Thank you.

And also apparently Padme sent her best handmaiden to free the slaves a few years after the Phantom Menace. Four years, by the way. That's a long time. Sure is. And she'd already been freed by that point. So nobody really had any idea where this woman was outside of the few people on Tatooine who knew her.

Even Watto's like, I don't know. Sold her, I guess. Guess what the Jedi did in that time? Nothing. That's correct, Mason. Absolutely nothing. So she was captured. Look, what she should have done, if Book of Boba Fett has taught us anything, what she should have done was gone out to the desert with the Tusken Raiders and fought a big Sand

Goro. That's right. And won their respect. Yes. By fighting the big Sand Goro. That's right. They're full of honour. And then Anakin could have done the big force healing on her, which is a Star Wars thing,

and then she would have been fine. But no, she dies. I do love that twin son shot where he's on the speeder and he goes across Tatooine to find his mother. That's great. Is it the best speeder shot in this movie or is the best speeder shot in this movie a very puzzled Christopher Lee who's been copped in quite badly?

And he's just like, ooh. Ooh. Where am I? What am I looking at? Doesn't matter. Look anywhere look anywhere it's fine we'll put it all in yeah we'll put it all in we'll fix your eyeline we'll give you we'll give you crossed eyes you can be looking at anything speaking of christopher lee though apparently i think this is still canon he paid the tuscan raiders to count duke who did not christopher lee that's right to kidnapnap Shmi Skywalker to set off Anakin Skywalker. Right.

And that was then going to be revealed in that Revenge of the Sith battle. And that's what kind of leads Anakin to kill him. Ah. So I think that would have been like an interesting wrinkle to all of that. But no, they didn't do any of that, I guess. Anyways, what a love story. I'm talking about Obi-Wan and Anakin. Yeah, sure, sure, sure.

They bicker and belittle each other, and then the next scene he's like, oh, don't say that. You're like a father to me or whatever. Just two grown men. What an odd pairing. But also, I respect that neither of them want that scenario. Like, it's not ideal for either of them.

Obi-Wan wasn't supposed to have like an apprentice straight away. That's true. Anakin was supposed to be with Qui-Gon. They're just making the best of a bad situation. They don't like each other. Great. And that's okay. And look, I also understand he's odd, right?

Which one? Anakin more so because he's a monk. So he meets a woman who he's been thinking about for the previous, you know, 10 years. And he's like, you've grown too. More beautiful, I mean. Don't. Don't do that. Right?

There's a moment where she's like, don't look at me like that. It makes me feel uncomfortable. You should listen. That's a red flag. That's a huge red flag. So apparently this isn't actually visible in the film. And then he has a big sook. That's in the script. And then Anakin has a big sook. Yeah, he has a big, yeah. That's in the script.

And then Anakin has a big sook. They meet again for the first time in 10 years, and then immediately he's like, oh, and Obi-Wan doesn't respect me? And if he did, dial it back, dude. This is not going to work. Just be like, I'm pretty good. I'm having a good time.

I'm living my best life. Yeah, exactly. You unleash the crazy a few months in, you know what I mean? That's right. So apparently, though, as he's having that big whinge you're talking about uh one of padme's handmaidens is supposed to be like quietly laughing off to the side which i think would have been effective to just cut to somebody just shaking the head being like this fucking guy it's like what are you what are you doing yeah and then the scene and this is being talked to death this

is not new ground but just that tantrum of like, I'm going to stop people from dying. By the way, I killed a bunch of like women and children. I mean, I know they're Tusken Raiders and whatever. But come on. And just to be like, that's okay. That's not okay. That's very uncool. I think it's very cool.

Oh, you're right. But that's the moment where you go like, oh, this is a crazy person. Sure, yeah. You know? But again, they have to get together for the Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia situation. I loved the part where he goes to the Tusken Raider encampment and it's at night time and he just cuts one of the tents open.

You know how the little something? You could probably just tear that with your hands. A little Swiss Army knife or something? He's learned from the best, is all I'm saying. By the way, Hayden Christensen, I like him, genuinely. He's doing it. This is what he's supposed to do, and he's doing it, and I'm glad he's back, and I think he's even better in in the next movie and I think he's also good in other movies also but the line where he says I wish I could wish

away my feelings but I can't that's not like god I know people talk about the sand and whatever but that to me it's just like you don't want to give that another pass I wish I could wish away my feelings no James that's perfect that's like a tone poem I guess it is like a tone poem look dialogue aside the worst crime of this, like, I feel this sequence of, you know, them falling in love is, I just don't believe it. Yep. Like you said, there's too many red flags.

Yeah. Padme is always laughing, like, in that uncomfortable way. Yeah. You know, where you can tell she's trying to find an exit at every moment. Like at the moment where it's like you know politicians you know what they should do they should sit down and you know talk about what's best for people and then and then they should do it she's like yeah that's what it tries to be and he's like well i've been a professional politician for over a decade since i was 14 yeah and then he's like well if people

don't agree then maybe someone should kill them not me but somebody and she's like what like that's again and that's before he's bad just to be like there should be a man who makes everybody do the right thing. That's right and that man's name

is Santa Claus. That's right he's canonical in the Star Wars universe. I wish he was. Obi-Wan's back wearing his little wig and his reshoots

it's a different wig but you'll notice there's a bit in the elevator at the start I think they were like we need to have some scenes with these guys where they're not screaming at each other.

Right, yeah, yeah. A bit of camaraderie building in a lift. Exactly. But one of my favourite moments in this movie genuinely is the moment where they're going to catch Count Dooku, right? And they're on the gunship. Because he won't get away this time. He won't get away this time.

But he does. He does, it's true. And they're on the ship together. And Padme falls out of the ship. And Anakin's like, put the ship down! Put it down! And Obi- ship and Anakin's like, put the ship down, put it down. And Obi-Wan's just like, no. I've entertained like every insane thing that you've said,

but this is the line. Absolutely not. You are in timeout, Anakin. He's like, I will expel you from the Jedi Order or someone will. Listen, stop. I like that moment of just like, no. I will not stand with this anymore. Enough of your bullshit. As a parent, you've got to respect that.

Yeah, absolutely. And Obi-Wan also has the best joke in this movie where Anakin, you know, turns up to rescue him with Padme. And he's like, we're here to rescue you. And he's like, good job. And that's a great joke. It is a great joke. Maybe another pass in the delivery.

Sure, maybe. This also has the worst, I feel, the worst I have a bad feeling. These days they would have been like, well, your rescue was cringe. Very cringe. It did not make me lol. This movie, I feel, also has the worst use of the I've got a bad feeling about this. It's where they're all chained up and the monsters are coming to eat them. And Anakin's like, I have a bad feeling about this.

Oh yeah. Perfect perception. That's right, yes. You've had a, you've assessed the situation. You can see things before they happen. Also, just logistically, how does that normally go? Like. They just come out and like bash them into the pole.

Like it's three political prisoners and then like tens of thousands of spectators arrive yep and then they bring out three invulnerable giant monsters who just pace these people and then what everybody goes home yeah everyone goes home pretty short generally i would imagine that that whole spectacle that's a weird term like community who knows what they like that's a good point maybe oh maybe they only live for a couple of days so So make these executions efficient. But you're right. I mean, I do like those creatures, though.

I think they're all really cool and unique designs. And Obi-Wan has to fight a big crab. Yeah. And he's just not loving it, you know? That's true. He's having a bad time. I think that's great. I'm just imagining, like, Episode 4 or whatever,

and Luke Skywalker's, like, not respecting him and imagining like episode four or whatever. And Luke Skywalker's like not respecting him and not believing in him or whatever. And then he's flashing back. He's like, I fought a giant crab monster. You wouldn't even believe what I've done. I didn't have a lightsaber for a lot of it. It was hard to do so many roles to get out of the way. It's like a Dark Souls boss.

Do we have that here? I don't know. It's canonical, yeah. It's canonical, yeah. Let's talk about christopher lee though okay i mean i love the addition of him in these movies the absolute king of the the hammer horror movies the b pictures my goodness just he's a you know real life war hero yeah gentleman been in a bunch of bad stuff but it's never bad in it a real war hero

and not only that the correct correct side. Finally. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. You know what I mean? Like, apparently just a class act all around. But I wish these prequels... First of all, I wish I could wish away my feelings, Mason. Absolutely. But I wish these prequels had a more consistent kind of B villain. I personally wish for infinite wishes.

Sure, that's good too. A more consistent villain. You're absolutely right, yeah. I mean, and I love Darth Maul, and I love Christopher Lee's Count Dooku, and I like Grievous, but I think maybe they should have just done the one. And maybe the villain in the first one was Qui-Gon's master. You know what I mean? And I think the reason that they did it this way also was very last minute

to add more of a connection between him and Obi-Wan and everybody else because it wasn't supposed to be christopher lee they had a bunch of other designs yeah and then they they got him and they went okay this will run with this aspect let's redesign the character so he looks like christopher lee that's right yeah and i think the idea that obi-wan and him have that you know have that conversation and they both have that connection to qui-gon and christopher lee it's just it's better than saying dooku it's about sure is it's just like throwing that in his face he's like i trained your master and you knew him very well maybe we should team up and everyone's like you can see where he's like is this bullshit like is there really a sith person in the senate like Is this real? Can I trust this guy? Yeah.

And we don't know if we can trust this guy either because we've never seen him before. And maybe it would have been nice to have him in the previous movie. Yeah, but I also think that's one of the strengths, though, to be like, which way is this guy going to go? He was a Jedi. Is that good? He was a Jedi. But on the other hand, he obviously looks evil.

And he's wearing the evil outfit. Yeah. So, you know. Exactly. Apparently a lot of the backstory. And he's got a evil outfit yeah you know exactly apparently a lot of the backstory he's got a red lightsaber and it's curved i like that yeah apparently a lot of his backstory is and you get a hint of it here is that he doesn't really want to like bring about the destruction of the jedi like through the sith he does he wants to set things right because of qui-gon being murdered and kind of level the playing field but he also wants to set things right because of Qui-Gon being murdered and kind of level the playing field, but he also wants to destroy the Sith.

So he's in it, but he's not in it for the same reasons as Palpatine. When he's like, we could do this together, Obi-Wan, I think that was like a genuine attempt. Oh, interesting. Or not. Maybe it's a retcon. I don't know. Also, his name is Count.

Yes. Have you ever met a good Count? No. Chocula. Ducula. Was that enough? Sesame Street. They're fictional though.

Oh yeah, good point. No, real life bad. All that. That's just, you know, PR from Big Count. I suspect. Big vague royalty that I don't understand. How do you feel about... Bad? Where are we going with this?

The end battle. Oh, bad. Okay, so I do like that Anakin runs in and just gets rocked, like, immediately. That's fun. You know? Yeah. And he comes back in for another little fight, and he's got two lightsabers, but clearly neither of them are a match for Christopher Lee's stunt double with Christopher Lee's face pasted over the top.

That's exactly right. That's a good effect. And I like how Anakin's like, Dooku's something like, you know, that's brave of you. And he's like, I'm a slow learner. And I like how Anakin's like, Dooku's something like, you know, that's brave of you. And he's like, I'm a slow learner. Yeah, we know. Yeah. Like emotionally at the very least.

But then, of course, we get Yoda. How do you feel about- One of the worst things I've ever seen. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Just awful. And it's not, you know what, it's not the battle so much the fight.

It's the lead up to the fight. Yeah. Where they do some various force attacks on one another. And then Christopher Lee- It's like a turn-based strategy. Yeah, and then Christopher Lee utters the immortal line, oh, it seems our force powers are matched. We should, let's do a lightsaber fight.

You don't need any of that. Just do it silently. Yeah, just some staring. Just some staring, yeah. Yeah, apparently that was added because they thought it was a bit abrupt to have Yoda just run in. Just run in off screen. Run in and behead him.

He probably could. Just like a magpie, just whip in real fast. Yeah, look, I never kind of loved the idea of Yoda with a lightsaber John Knoll who's worked on so many of these movies and he's

still with Lucasfilm in various roles on this he was the VFX supervisor he argued with George Lucas that the final duel between Yoda and

Dooku shouldn't involve lightsabers since they were force masters Knoll envisioned the duel as a battle of wizards pulling references

from Akira and I think that could have been interesting as well to see that element of it. Love those wizards in Akira. Me too. But as far as like making Yoda look believable and the way that his cloak bellows and the way that something like that would move in fights, I think it's pretty good. I think it could, I mean, it does look silly, but it could look sillier. Let me ask you this, James.

Do you think it would look better if you had a full-size lightsaber? Yeah, I don't know. Would it? Why would he have a little lightsaber? Because he's little. Yeah, I know, but the blade should be the same length. Yeah, and they don't weigh anything, do they? Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, maybe. I mean, you'd have to have the, I don't know, because the handle could still be short, right? You know what he should have had? Yeah. Just his stick. Yeah. Force powers on the stick. Okay the, I don't know, because the handle could still be short, right? You know what he should have had? Yeah. Just his stick. Yeah. Force powers on the stick. Okay.

Hit him in the head with a stick. Hit him with a stick. That's right. Because he could. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's an admirable effort. I never used to like it.

Okay. But I think it's like, I understand it. I understand why people like it. You understand the moving pictures you presented before you. No, but I get why you would want to see that. Yeah, right. And I think the execution is pretty solid, especially considering that it's like 20 years old now as well.

And I do appreciate at the end of the fight, Yoda, you know, he shuts down his lightsaber and he just, he's like, oh, jeez, I'm knackered now. Back to being old, I guess. God, it takes it out of you. I'm taking a half day. I'm going home. But he doesn't though, does he?

No, he doesn't. He doesn't? He's like, what? No, I'm sure what he did do is he's like, okay, can you, I'm just going to get on this transport. Can you take me back to the Jedi Council? Oh, we're going to war, are we?

Oh, great. This is terrific. Can you just send me down here? It's fine. I'll walk. Can I have some electrolytes? Can I have some Jawa juice with electrolytes, please? That's the Star Wars equivalent of like a Four Loko.

It's alcoholic and it's got caffeine in it. Yeah, that makes sense. Anyways, it's time for Green Trivia. We're back with Green Trivia. You know it. Now, again, I just feel the need to mention we haven't covered everything because you can't. No.

As long as these are, there are going to be things we miss. For example, did you know that the original working title for Star Wars was Blue Harvest? Is that true? It's true. Wow. Did you also know that the sound of the bomb going, Oh, I like that. Is good.

It is good. Is that your entire fact? Yep. Did you know that this movie has an amazing film score? It is good. Yeah. Is that your entire fact? Yep. Did you know that this movie has an amazing film score? It is. Yeah. Obviously. Did you know Mace Windu and he asked for the purple lightsaber, et cetera?

I did know that. So we've talked about those facts and there are other facts which we are not going to cover. Now that's just because he wanted to stand out in the battle sequence. That's right. What happened to yellow lightsabers and orange lightsabers? Why are they just blue and green? Well, Ray has a yellow one or something. I know. Yeah. I know.

Yeah. I know. You know? And in, what's the one? Video games. Video games. In video games, that one. You can get an orange lightsaber.

It's true. What's his face? The guy. Kyle Kassan? No, the other guy. The new guy. Red hair. Kyle Kestis. Orange lightsaber.

You're right. That's right. Can't you choose your color in that as well? Sometimes. Yeah, sometimes. Temple guards have yellow lightsabers as well. Oh. Yeah. Anyway, right. That's right. Can't you choose your colour in that as well? Sometimes. Yeah, sometimes. Temple guards have yellow lightsabers as well. Oh. Yeah.

Anyway, let's do some green trivia. Okay. When that bounty hunter, the changeling, dies, she says, We shanit slimo, which means in Huttese. It means... Why did I...

My one wish is I didn't have bonitis. It means bounty hunter slimeball. So she says that of herself off her yeah because she gets poison darted even though in the game bounty hunter which we have covered for caravan of garbage a lot of that game revolves around jango fett rescuing that character and carrying her off into the sunset yeah at the end well so you're a bounty hunter yeah you know yep this is the way no i have not that's changeling Yeah, you're right. Yeah. According to George Lucas.

I guess that is just like us going like, oh, YouTubers. Oh, gross. We're not wrong. Yuck. According to George Lucas, Obi-Wan hiding in Geonosis' asteroid field teaches young Boba Fett a lesson that he uses in his advantage during adulthood.

Remember in Empire Strikes Back? He learnt that from Obi-Wan, even though he didn't see him do it. But I guess he just assumed that he did afterwards. That's right. That's great. No, I hate that, actually. At least I don't say it in the movie. The Geonosian head design is based on the original concept of the

Neimoidians developed for Episode I. So they were going to be computer generated originally, and you'll notice that head design is also designed to look like the battle droids a bit. So seeing as the battle droids are created by these termite people, they've got a little bit of them in it. And also super battle droids, etc. Do you think that's for sex purposes? Yes, obviously.

They'll live in the walls like creeps. That's how technology propagates, right? All the other battle droids that didn't look like they'd be good for sex purposes never got off the ground. That's right. So I don't know if you knew this, but NSYNC were pursued by both Lucas and Rick McCollum's daughters. Okay.

Because... Beatles style, just after a concert. That's right. The band members were offered roles while on a short break from their Pop Odyssey tour. Okay. Remember that tour we followed around the country? Yeah, I remember. So Lance Bass and Justin Timberlake were too tired and probably too cool.

But the rest of the band rushed to Industrial Light and Magic to film their parts as Jedi Knights. So for the arena sequence, they shot them all separately. And the idea was to kind of put them in in the background and have NSYNync jumping about a joey fatone yes the other two the other two less famous ones even less famous than joey fatone yes they were there so it was theorized that they were cut due to backlash because word of this got out or that because they were sag members and they'd have to be paid which they weren't and we're also happy to do it but they just cut the entire thing but you might be able to see them in the background of some shots, but who knows?

I remember the song Dirty Pop. What do you remember about NSYNC? Bye Bye Bye? Yep. The one with the... The marionettes! The marionettes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Very good.

And those are all the things. And for this bit of green trivia, you can file this under Is This True? Okay. It was on IMDb, and I just... Notoriously reliable. It just seems... Anyway. The Geonosis Droid Factory action sequence

was influenced by the 1998 video game Apocalypse. In the eighth level of the game, the main protagonist, Troy Kincaid, Bruce Willis... You remember this game, right? Yes, now I do. Yeah, vaguely. Okay, sure. He has to fight his way through the Warfighter ink factory

in which robots are built and manufactured. So that suggests that George Lucas was such a fan of the video game Apocalypse that he got to the eighth level. Yeah, yeah. And he was like, this deserves a partner movie. Yeah. Is that game good? I don't know.

Yeah, and we'll never know. Let us know if you want us to cover it. Anyways, box office. This was the only Star Wars film up until that point that was not the top grossing film of the year. Whoa. In North America. It placed behind Spider-Man and Lord of the Rings The Two Towers,

which makes sense. Yeah. That being said, it still did very well on a $115 million budget. It made $653 million at the box office. Wasn't record-breaking by any stretch, and it wasn't critically super well-received like the previous one, but it generated interest and obviously hype built for what was to come next, Mason. Oh.

Which we'll be looking at, of course, in two weeks because these are way too long. Very long. And we're sorry, Ben and Lawrence. Oh, my God, it's so long already. You still have more words to say, probably. I know. Well, I'm pretty much done. You got anything else to say?

Let me check my notes. Yay! I just have one note here that says, Nice big smock, Anakin. It does have a big smock, doesn't it? Big smock. Yeah, that's my favourite thing about this movie. Also, of course, we are covering the video games

related to the movies in between these to tide everybody over. And of course, if you do want to see that early or these early, head over to BigSandwich.co. It it's like our private patreon we have movie commentaries we've done every star wars movie live action hell yeah hells yes we have bonus podcasts we also have our podcast the weekly planet where we talk movies and comics and tv shows that comes out there a day early anyways thank you everybody for watching this we really appreciate it and we love talking about attack of the Clones.

We'll be back next week to do another Attack of the Clones episode, Mason. Oh, my God. Folks, thank you very much for watching and listening. Grab that gem. We'll see you then. Where did you get your big smock? You get it at the big smock store? Big stupid smock store.

Yeah, he did it on his little shopping spree. Oh, my God. You're absolutely right. Big stupid smock shop. absolutely right. Big stupid smock shop. FX's The Veil explores the surprising and fraught relationship between two women who play a deadly

game of truth and lies on the road from Istanbul to Paris and London. One woman has a secret. The other, a mission to reveal it before thousands of lives are lost. FX's The Veil, starring Elizabeth Moss, is now streaming on Disney+.