The Weekly Planet - Superman Return - Caravan Of Garbage

Episode Date: January 16, 2020

The Brandon Routh/Christopher Reeve Superman returns for Crisis On Infinite Earths, a sequel of sorts to Superman Returns which is a sequel of sorts to Superman The Movie and Superman 2. Anyways this week's review for Caravan Of Garbage is Superman Returns and boy did they make it. Thanks Bryan Singer. You f#*kwit. And thank YOU for watching.Video Edition ► https://youtu.be/YdDIH2dD8f8James' Twitter ► http://twitter.com/mrsundaymoviesMaso's Twitter ► http://twitter.com/wikipediabrownTWP Itunes ► https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-weekly-planet/id718158767?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4TWP Direct Download ► https://play.acast.com/s/theweeklyplanetTWP YouTube Channel ► https://goo.gl/1ZQFGHPatreon ► https://patreon.com/mrsundaymoviesAmazon Affiliate Link ► https://amzn.to/2nc12P4T-Shirts/Merch ► https://www.teepublic.com/stores/mr-sunday-movies Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors, like high blood pressure developed during pregnancy, which can put us two times more at risk of heart disease or stroke. Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca. FX's The Veil explores the surprising and fraught relationship between two women who play a deadly game of truth and lies on the road from Istanbul to Paris and London. One woman has a secret. The other, a mission to reveal it before thousands of lives are lost. FX's The Veil, starring Elizabeth Moss, is now streaming on Disney+. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates.

You know, the interesting thing about Superman Returns... I'm ready. ...is that we're actually Superman returning in the CW version of Superman, bringing back this version of Superman. Or is it? Maybe. Could be a parallel universe version of that Superman. Who looks quite similar.

Of course, we are talking about today for Caravan of Garbage, Superman Returns, the 2006 blockbuster? I don't know. You would have that information there, right? Did it do well? It did okay. Not enough to warrant a sequel. Yeah, right.

Yeah, we'll talk about it and kind of the plans for the sequel that it was going to get later on in the video. Was the sequel, a bit of a preview, was the sequel going to contain anything interesting? Maybe, yeah. Oh, my goodness. What a twist. Anyways, was the sequel going to contain anything interesting? Maybe, yeah. Oh my goodness, what a twist. Anyways, if you don't want to hear any of that, you have to leave a like. That's how it works.

Otherwise, it won't play for you. We're sorry, we don't make the rules. It's just the way YouTube works now. They changed it. That's so weird. Yeah, you'll only get to hear about the Superman Returns sequel if you hit like on any video. And they send you money as well. Just got to click that like. So I guess the interesting thing about Superman Returns is it's a quasi-sequel to the Chris Reeve films from the 70s and 80s.

But not all of them. But not all of them. Only the first two and also only some elements of those movies. Right, gotcha. But for all intents and purposes, Mason, or intensive purposes, as some people like to say. No, no, you can't say it. It's the Chris Reeve Superman. Yeah, and look, when this movie came out,

I saw it at cinemas and I did not care for it. Yes. But this time around, I appreciate that it's actually a very sort of, it's a very loving homage to those original Christopher Reeve movies and that, you know, Christopher Reeve was this beloved actor and a beloved version of Superman. I still don't think it's a good movie. Well, I did like it when it came out,

but I know acknowledging that it has a lot of flaws. But watching it again, it's a grind, man. Like, it's tough to get through. But that being said, the Brandon Routh Superman is good. He is good. He looks good. He's got the Clark Kent mannerisms down pat. The Superman, like the inflections in his voice,

all of that stuff works. Pretty much everything else around that. Yeah. I mean, putting aside also that this movie was directed by a sex criminal, allegedly. Bit of a downer. Yeah. How long are you going to make that pause between sex criminal and allegedly?

Ten minutes. Incredible. I'll get us to the ten minute mark. Okay. Leave a like and we'll say allegedly. It is an accurate homage to those movies, but I feel like ultimately the world has moved on from that version of the superhero movie. And it's strange because even though it is technically the same universe, it doesn't

feel like the same city. It's this weird sepia toned 1930s, 40s New York kind of look slash also 2006 it kind of feels like a combination of the old Superman movies and like a Batman the animated series

this atemporal universe where is it the modern day or is it the past it's not a real world and so in animation that kind of works, but maybe in live action it's hard to connect with these people because you go, oh, well, they live in a bottle city, not unlike the bottle city of Kandor. Very good.

That's a great reference. But also sepia-toned and boring and everyone's sad all the time. But you know what I mean? They're like, oh, my God, what if Lex Luthor destroys this world? It's not my world. Why would I, it doesn't bother me. It's not anybody's world, yeah. So the story picks up,

it's supposed to be five years after he disappeared. He doesn't tell Lois that he's going, he just does. Doesn't he wipe her memory at the end of Superman 2? Well, it's odd because they must have, I guess, slept together after he wiped her memory. And people have talked about this before. Or she had Superman's kid and has no idea how that happened. Yeah, it's really weird when you think about it.

It's really weird when you think about it. Yeah. As much as I try not to think about it, I can't not think about it. But there also are a couple of things that I don't like about this version of Superman. The suit is, I feel, too overly designed in parts. It doesn't quite come together for me. There's too many, like the S's on the back of the boots, the kind of the leatherish cape, the kind of muted red of it all.

What would you prefer? Closer to the Christopher Reeve version or closer to the Henry Cavill version? Like a modern update of the Chris Reeve version with those kind of colours. Underpants or no underpants? Underpants. I mean on the outside. Underpants on the outside. So two sets of underpants.

I think it breaks up the... I think it's so, but I think you can do that just as well with the belt. Or like you can do it sort of iron, because you know, comic book Iron Man. He's got metal underpants. He had the metal underpants for a long time,

but then you sort of make it more of a bike short situation. Yeah, definitely. A bit longer, you know? You can go with some lines and whatever. Some lines. And people have done that. The other thing is he's a weird creep because he's just going to Lois' house

and just looking in and being like, what's going on here? I'm sad, so I'm just going to look at this woman. I'm going to look at this woman that I'm going to try and break into her email later. I think the number one clue that this is in some sort of atemporal parallel universe where it doesn't matter to me whether they live or die

is when they try to break into Lois Lane's email at some point during the movie and they try to find her password and there's a little animated Lois Lane going like, ah, ah, ah, like Nedry in Jurassic Park, like, ah, ah, ah you can't break into my email boop, boop, boop, boop, did she make that?

Did Jimmy Olsen make it for her? She made it well, even if Jimmy olsen made it they must have got her photos to do that yeah yeah odd but when he's being superman and i'm talking about doing superman stuff the plane catch is incredible yeah and i like that it's not just he just catches it out of midair because it's spinning out of control he has to take the wings off and slowly kind of break it down and then you know gently lay it on the ground in the stadium. That being said, I think he landed in the stadium on purpose. Oh, yeah, just a little bit of cred.

Let the people know that he's out there, you know, that he's still an influencer. Also, do you not want to move it? Do you not want to move it? They were just playing baseball. What, are they going to play baseball around this jetliner? Also, again, it's kind of, you know, it's this homage to a previous Superman movie,

and it's an update, and it looks great, and it's maybe what they would have done in the late 70s if they had the technology available. But it's not a new thing. It's retreading old ground in a kind of technically new way, which I never found very interesting. No, that's fair enough. Because also, the stuff that he does as Superman,

it's way too brief. There is a moment when the city's kind of exploding at the end and he's using his powers to kind of problem-solve his way through it. He's not just knocking down buildings. Like he's taking care of the glass that's falling down by incinerating it. It's on fire and he's using his freeze breath and whatever. He's rescuing civilians who are going to fall onto a train track by incinerating them.

Yes, that's right. All classic Superman things. And then there's, of course, the moment where he takes a bullet to the eye, which is a new thing, but the problem is they put it in the trailer and there's nothing better than that in this movie. Yeah, they put it in the trailer and they also, in the movie, they put it right after he survived about 1,000 bullets from a really big machine gun.

Well, I wanted to ask you about that i know you love a minigun minute yep how does it rank it's it's not a it's it's got eight barrels as opposed to the miniguns classic six barrels it doesn't count i feel like they made it just for the like they built it from scratch just for the movie doesn't feel authentic to me this weird parallel universe a big winch it is not a big winch right I don't know ridiculous I don't know how they did it maybe it was always on the roof

they got it in store but the building was made yeah to protect against Superman that's right yeah Lois Lane has copped a bit of flack

in this because she's not Margot Kidder she's a different actor who I tried to remember the name of many many times Kate Bosworth

and I could never pull it I think she's fine honestly I don't think she's that bad but, I don't think she's that bad. But what I don't think is good in this is the interpretation of Lex Luthor. Putting aside the weird Kevin Spacey stuff, I guess his performance is Gene Hackman-esque. Right. But that version does not fly in the movie this is trying to be. You've talked about this before.

He's a fucking dummy. Yeah, exactly. You know, the initial scene we see with Lex Luthor is a scene in which he spent a very long time. Five years. He spent five years while he was in prison. He got into some sort of letter writing correspondence with an old rich woman. And then once he got out, he continued some sort

of weird relationship with her. And then after five years he just about manages to convince her to put her him in her will to give him up all her riches and her boat but then she dies beforehand so he just grabs her hand and scrawls her signature on the will yeah what a plan what a plan what a genius superman's been away from earth for five years and that's the best he could do right and the only reason he got out was because apparently superman didn't turn up for his appeal.

That's right, yeah. You don't have all the other evidence? When he started that earthquake, is that not enough? Your Honour, he started the earthquake, and that was him! That's right. He should be in jail! Why are we even considering this? Again, watching it with fresh eyes and going, okay an homage to the old superman movies the idea that

he would swindle a rich widow yeah is kind of it's evil and cruel in a old school comic book kind of way sure but again it's dumb and lame it's dumb and lame and speaking of dumb and lame part of his master plan is of course to steal the crystals from the fortress of solitude which by the way if you get one of them wet it it just goes insane. That's a very poor design choice. Especially if you're going to mostly park them in the Arctic. Yes, a place full of frozen water, lived in by a man who can shoot fire out of his eyes. Also, side note, imagine living in a world, the planet Krypton, where the operating system to your computer takes like 30 seconds to slowly creep out of the ground

every time you want to use it. You're like, man, I should really check Twitter. And it's unlabeled. Where's the back button? Where is the back button? Exactly. How do I block people on Twitter with this? Oh, my goodness.

You have to throw a crystal into a lake or something. That's right. And physically block them. A large landmass will come up between you and them. And then they're blocked. Old school. So his idea is, of course, to grow a new island, which will sink a large portion of the US of A underwater.

A quarter portion. A quarter portion. And then sell that real estate to people. To who? All the people in America who are dead? But also, do you want to live on a weird crystal poisoned island? That's definitely going to give you radiation poisoning. Yeah, of course I do.

It is wild. And also, if you went slightly further out, Lex Luthor, into the ocean, maybe you could find some unclaimed water that you could just build your own land in. Why destroy America? Again, the cruelty is the undercurrent of this character but it just makes him seem dumber they're gonna get you for this yeah if it's not superman someone's gonna shoot you 100 but you don't have your battle armor lex luther suit and the other thing is he's like how are they gonna get me i've got advanced alien technology not

really you don't even know how it works i don don't know, man. It's just daft, the whole thing. It really is. It doesn't work at all. Other things that I feel like don't work is they flashback to Superman as a kid jumping in a field, I guess to show him developing his powers, but also he's wearing glasses. All right, whatever. Okay. Because I feel like that's always been a thing that he's adopted.

Right, okay. Maybe his vision was developing and whatever. Maybe in this crazy parallel universe version of Superman he got the jumps first and the good eyesight second ok, hops then on FX's The Veil explores the surprising and fraught relationship

between two women who play a deadly game of truth and lies on the road from Istanbul to Paris and London one woman has a secret the other a mission to reveal it before thousands of lives are lost. FX's The Veil, starring Elizabeth Moss, is now streaming on Disney+.

It's also odd some of the things they decide to keep, including bringing Marlon Brando back as Jor-El, despite, I'm pretty confident, being destroyed in a previous movie. Okay. Because he has to blow up the Fortress of Solitude to get his powers back. Also, Brando isn't really in that movie

because there was a whole... And he's definitely not in this movie. No, he's definitely not. I mean, it's incredible that they were able to bring him back, and, you know, it's convincing enough. But it just feels like, why are you doing this? Again, it's a weird piece of technology. Also, Jor-El's like, is that you, Kal-El?

And Lex Luthor's like, yep, it's me. Well, that's also how it works. Give me all the secrets. That's how it works in the 70s as well. It, like, anticipates his responses. It's like a tape recorder. Okay, right. And it just presumes he's going to ask these questions.

But if you sit anybody else in that room, they're just like, I don't understand what this is. Where's the back button? Here's all the secrets, though. Lock Jor-El. You know what, though? This movie should have opened with the deleted scene, which is fully finished.

I was going to mention the deleted scene. There's a few of them we can get to. So the first deleted scene, look, at the start of this movie, Superman returns from his trip to the ruins of the planet krypton hence the name of the movie yes superman returns from the ruins of his planet krypton but the scene that was deleted before that is him flying to krypton in a sort of an amazing spaceship made of the crystalline technology from the fortress of solitude and it looks great uh side note though it's a giant glowing uh crystalline spaceship but when he wants to look at something outside there's a

tiny little search light that comes out on the front yeah just to you know he threw it into a pile of torches to make it work ah that explains a lot but yeah you know the riff my guess is the reason this was taken out is because it makes the rest of the movie seem even more dull than it really than it already is i think it's the movie's worse off for it because and it's it would set up the idea that more space stuff is going to happen yeah instead as opposed to more landmass stuff well let's talk about that because the big kind of confrontation at the end of this is superman lands on the kryptonite island he gets stabbed i think it's quite a good scene and they throw him off the edge and then he and then he comes back and gets stabbed. I think it's quite a good scene. They throw him off the edge and then he comes back

and he lifts the island. But it's not a particularly compelling ending. For one, I'm not really sure how he's able to do it because there's Kryptonite all around him. It's not really established how it affects him and how long it takes and any of that. But he just does it, doesn't he? He just believes in himself and Lois believes in him.

And Lois' new husband, whom he in himself and Lois believes in him. Yeah. And Lois' new husband, whom he's cucking, also believes in him. But also, when you think about it, it also wouldn't be that difficult for him to pick up a big tectonic plate and just put it under it like it's a plate. Like a hot plate. Like a hot plate and then just lift it into space with no effect. Or a big pair of lead oven mitts. Exactly, that's right.

And just lift it up, yeah. It's not a very thrilling ending when the greatest superhero the world has ever seen just lifts a big thing at the end. Yeah, right. It's not exciting. Also at the end, that's not really the end of the movie. The end of the movie is, falls back to earth, and then he's very, very, very, very, very slowly nursed back to health in a hospital.

Yep. What a big finale. Huge finale. And then after he's fine. But I also like the ending of that he's not alone in the universe. Like he thought he was alone, but at the very least he's got a son, which, look, he got him under nefarious circumstances, but look, he has one, doesn't he?

That's right. I mean, again, it's a son he abandoned for five years, but still. Yeah. Well, actually, there's some stuff in here which is sort of hinted at, which was supposed to be elaborated on in the movie. Is there, like most Superman movies, a sly reference to Gotham City? There is, of course, that. Yeah, absolutely.

That's right. There's a more interesting superhero just down the highway. You know Cal Penn, who plays one of Lex Luthor's henchmen? And also either Harold or Kumar. That's right. Correct. Yes. And was also a presidential advisor for Obama.

He was for Obama, yeah. He revealed that his character was a disgraced former Daily Planet science reporter who was bribed by Lex Luthor to plant false evidence of Krypton's survival, thus inspiring Superman to leave Earth. Oh, that would have been interesting to put in. And it would have caused Superman to really suck him in the jaw at the end of that.

That's right. But again, there was no time for sucking anybody in the jaw because that had to be a big thing. That had to be a big thing. Who else was going to lift it? Calpain? No. Just a regular man.

Just a regular man. What if he really believed in himself? Actually, he probably could. The other thing was, Bryan Singer wanted Jude Law as Zod after he repeatedly turned down that role. I've got to be the young pope or nothing, he said. In 10 to 12 years.

So he decided to remove him entirely. But I think giving Superman someone to punch, this movie really lacks that. At least give him a Lex Luthor who's a match. Or give him. Feasibly. I mean, like in a realistic way. Yeah, right.

Battlesuit would be good. Martian DNA, he's done that recently. That's pretty exciting. How about this? Instead of any of the stuff we saw, it's two hours of Superman flying from outer space to Earth, just gathering up speed and then just cutting back to Lex Luthor's reaction every time as he knows it's coming.

He receives an email that's like, I'm going to punch you so hard from outer space, Lex Luthor. I'm covered. And then it's just him going, oh, oh no. And it's just him hiding in different places in the yacht. Like, oh, is this going to, No, that's not going to work. Oh, maybe behind the piano. Oh, no.

Do you want to hear a little bit about this sequel, though? Yes. So apparently it would have centered around Brainiac. Oh. And it would have revealed that he followed Superman back to Earth from the remnants of Krypton during his trip. Also, the bank robber who shot Superman in the eye would have turned out to be john corbin aka

metallo i believe it's pronounced it's not but go go for your life i shan't correct you no i'm right people know i'm right and they'll say i'm right in the comments please confirm that i'm right everybody yeah but again that would involve a sequence in which superman like really rips all his arms and legs that's right yeah but he's got that kryptonite chest, doesn't he? Yeah. Was he going to be revealed to be that character, whose name I'm not going to say, in that movie, or was he later going to become that character, I guess? I guess he later was going to become it.

The other thing is, apparently they were hammering out the idea of maybe Darkseid. God, there's so many interesting ideas that sound like excellent ideas for sequels that also would have been excellent ideas for the movie as it was made at the time. At the time, absolutely. The thing is, though, there is a sequel to this starring Brandon Routh. I'm, of course, talking about Dylan Dog, Dead of Night,

the comic book adaptation. Jimmy Olsen's back also. Is he what? Yes, that's right. Oh, my goodness. The adaptation of the classic Italian crime supernatural comic. Yeah. Or whatever it is. Or whatever it is.

Or whatever it is. I think it's some sort of spooky Italian comic. Yeah. You know what I mean? We've seen it. I remember we rented it, but I don't. It's spookissimo, let me tell you. Yeah, I'll tell you that.

But, of course, he has returned for the new CW crossover. Crisis on Infinite Earths. He's sort of the Superman Return returns version and the chris reeve version but there's a few things that hint at that he's maybe not yeah there's some clues that he's maybe also the kingdom come version of superman specifically the logo yeah or he might become that version at some point but the other thing is he mentions how he's previously fought himself which is something that happened in superman 3 right okay so he might not be the exact superman returns version or superman returns takes place between superman 2 and superman 3 and he uh places his kid up for adoption never he's never mentioned again entirely possible or yes they couldn't

afford to get all the cast back from superman returns so they just say that they're all dead it could work too yeah which is what they did yeah right. But of course, this is the segment of the video I like to call, Oh my God, I can't believe you didn't mention this very specific and inconsequential detail. But here I am doing that right now. Let's do it. I'm ready to hear about it. Richard Branson plays an astronaut in this.

He's in the Virgin Galactic flight that takes off. Oh, one of his many famous cameos. That's right. On Virgin-related properties. Which they also take out if you're ever watching the airplane version of this. On a competing airline. On a competing airline. That's right.

In the version of Casino Royale. He just gets beaten up by airport security. Gotham, as you mentioned, is mentioned in this. So I guess Batman might exist or does exist. Or possibly Batwoman or Robin. Any of the Robins. Exactly. Let's list all the Robins.

Let's do it. No, let's not. Let's not. And the other thing is there is mention of a birthday clown massacre, which I guess is a loose kind of hint towards the Joker in this universe. So there you go. Or the Jester. Or the Jester.

A different version. A different universe. A different universe, yeah. I think that's Bruce Wayne, but he's a clown instead or something. I think it's just the Joker, isn't it? Like, good the Joker? I don't know. Tell us in the comments. I think it's good the Joker. Please do. Because he goes up against Superman with a big

U on his chest. Oh, yeah, right, right. Stands for underpants on the inside and outside. That's what that stands for. He's doubled it up, mate. Anyway, I'm curious to know though, does this movie hold up? I would argue no. But there is some good

things in it. There is good great. And I think Brandon Routh is still good as Superman. I think he's

good as Superman but I don't think it's worth watching this movie in its entirety to prove that he's good in this. Just take our word for it.

Yeah just watch the plane catch and the bullet to the eye. And Richard Branson getting beaten up. That's right. take our word for it. Yeah, just watch the plane catch and the bullet to the eye. And Richard Branson getting beaten up. That's right. That'll get you there. Yeah.

Anyways, this has been Caravan of Garbage. We do this every week and there's videos every Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday if you do want to subscribe. If you've got a suggestion, we'd love to hear it, wouldn't we? Yes. Put it below.

Is there an even worse Superman movie we should watch? That's a really good question. Arguably, yes, but... It's on the razor's edge, isn't it? Yeah, really. Pick a Superman movie. We'll probably be able to at some point. Also, of course, we have a podcast called The Weekly Planet

where we talk movies and comics and TV shows. That comes out every Monday morning. That's linked below, though. Also, I'm at MrSundayMovies on Twitter. Oh, I'm at WikipediaBrand on Twitter. Thanks for watching this video. Grab that gem, you guys. We'll see you next week.

Goodbye. Let's do some bonus stuff for the people doing the audio. Okay. The audio edition. I'm ready. You start. What did you have for breakfast today? What did I have for breakfast today?

I actually had- Probably some weird health thing. No, no. Or protein. Just an injection of protein directly in your eyeball. Is that what you had? It's like a bowl I get. It's like a Mexican-esque dish.

Oh, I've seen that. Yeah, okay, another one. It's got like corn chips. They're gluten-free. It's got some salsa. It's got some avocado. It's got some pulled pork in there for good measure. That's optional.

You don't have to do it. It's got some sour cream. It's got some jalapenos. Yes. Yeah. Oh, sorry, jalapenos. That's great. Metallo. What did you have for breakfast? I had a ham and cheese baguette. Oh, sorry, jalapenos. That's great. Metallo.

What did you have for breakfast? I had a ham and cheese baguette. Oh, that sounds pretty good. From a little place near my work. A little place near your work. That's right. Terrific. I can imagine you dinging that tram going down the street

and somebody passes it through the window because they know you so well and you know them so well. Yeah, that's right. You're like, thanks, Frank. And they're like, can you pay me some time, please? And I'm like, nope, got to drive this tram. See you tomorrow, Frank. More baguettes for me, sir.

That's some great additional content right there. What if I did leave this in the video? What if I did? And you make one of your editors do an animation of me getting served a baguette on the tram. Yeah, that'd be great. Terrific. Happy New Year's, I guess, whenever this is coming out also. Yeah, that'd be great. Terrific. Happy New Year's, I guess,

whenever this is covered out also. Yeah, Happy New Year's. And Christmas and whatever. And happy holidays. And Merry Christmas. We're bringing it back. We're bringing it back, us. Yes.

You couldn't say it anymore, but now you can. You're welcome. That's right. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. I mean, if you want. It's up to you.

As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors, like high blood pressure developed during pregnancy, which can put us two times more at risk of heart disease or stroke. Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca. FX's The Veil explores the surprising and fraught relationship or stroke. Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca.