The Weekly Planet - The Santa Clause - Caravan Of Garbage

Episode Date: December 3, 2020

Tim Allen's The Santa Clause bucked the trend of Christmas movies at the time by telling the story of a Father Christmas where if you can kill the previous one then I guess you're Santa. It's a weird universe so we're going to get stuck into all three starting with the 1994 original. Thanks for watching!SUBSCRIBE HERE ►► http://goo.gl/pQ39jNVideo Edition ►https://youtu.be/kjdAtIbhNgsJames' Twitter ► http://twitter.com/mrsundaymoviesMaso's Twitter ► http://twitter.com/wikipediabrownPatreon ► https://patreon.com/mrsundaymoviesT-Shirts/Merch ► https://www.teepublic.com/stores/mr-sunday-movies The Weekly Planet iTunes ► https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-weekly-planet/id718158767?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4 The Weekly Planet Direct Download ► https://play.acast.com/s/theweeklyplanetAmazon Affiliate Link ► https://amzn.to/2nc12P4 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

FX's The Veil explores the surprising and fraught relationship between two women who play a deadly game of truth and lies on the road from Istanbul to Paris and London. One woman has a secret. The other, a mission to reveal it before thousands of lives are lost. FX's The Veil, starring Elizabeth Moss, is now streaming on Disney+. Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever? Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, to support life-saving progress in mental health care.

From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So, who will you rise for? Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca.

This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. In the build-up to the most festive time of the year, I'm not talking about bloody tax season, Mason. James, why would you be? That's not the most festive season. It's a joke that I normally do. Like, I do it in relation to, like, the spookiest time of the year.

Disagree. I think you've just made a stupid mistake. Leave a like for my stupid mistake. Really appreciate it. Yeah, leave a like. Because what we're covering, it's the Santa Claus trilogy. Oh, my God. The Tim Allen spectacular franchise. Doing all three of these are we sure okay good i mean we're doing at least

this one we're recording this one aren't we yeah well i have watched this one so yeah there we go it's my first time watching this i've not seen this before well what i wanted to uh open up with is this very much came out in the era we'll have a couple of things first one being it's like peak tim allen you cannot get more tim allen no No, he's definitely stuck a few. Oh yeah, and he puts on a tool belt at one point. People are like, from his other show. He went to jail for cocaine possession.

Anyway, it's a fun fact. So many movies in this era are dads spend too much time at the office and they're not spending enough time with their kids. It's like Hook, it's liar, liar. It's probably getting even with dad. The family man?

The family man. Is that the Nicolas Cage movie? Yeah, and he goes back in time and Taya Leone is his wife or something. Yeah, his wife or something. And there's always like a stepdad who's, you know, he's nice enough and he's affable, but he's like, you're a son of a bitch, Judge Reinhold. Yeah, that's right.

How dare you? How dare you step into Tim he's like, you're a son of a bitch, Judge Reinhold. Yeah, that's right. How dare you? How dare you step into Tim Allen's family, you sack of shit? Yeah, it's always they're like, they're pretty good, but they have one flaw, like they're allergic to cats and they sneeze a lot, so they're out. They're absolutely, yeah. They wear a big dumb sweater or whatever. Here's the thing about the Santa Claus, right?

Yes. How does Santa work in this universe? This universe is insane. Look, I knew we were going to be talking about this. Look, if Santa Claus is real, and for all the children who are listening to this, maybe with their parents or watching the video, and he is real, what is the mechanism by which he delivers the presents? Yeah.

And how does any of it work? Well, they mentioned time dilation so he can do it in a night. Perfect. And they're like, not everybody in the world celebrates Christmas. I'm like, yeah, I guess that's... I mean, let's say you've eliminated half. So that's still, what, 4 billion people? Yeah.

Still a lot in my opinion. Whatever it was in 94, who knows? But what I found confusing is a couple of things about this version of Santa is that the adults in this universe don't believe in santa and yet if santa is real which we have established that he is both in this movie and in real life children listening that's right that would mean also sorry for swearing maybe we'll bleep them out because it's a christmas episode we'll make a special exception that would mean that every person on earth who believes in santa has every year gotten real gifts from Santa

in addition to gifts from their parents. Yes. But nobody has ever, no child has ever noticed that, and no adult has ever picked up on the fact that there's more presents under the tree than they have purchased for their children. It also might be that they're not purchasing gifts, and there's some kind of spell where they think they are. Spell might do it, yeah.

That's right. Instead, they're spending their money on booze. Should we bleep booze? We can leave booze. Okay. It's not boobs. We'd bleep boobs. We'd bleep boobs, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you want to know what we're saying, there's an extended audio edition of this. It's just the C word we're saying. Yeah, that's right. Christmas. Christmas. What I am fascinated, though, just the C word we're saying. Yeah, that's right. Christmas. Christmas. What I am fascinated, though,

about this movie and these movies in general is what's the deal with the first Santa in this? What's his deal? Oh. Because I think he was a bad guy and I'll tell you why.

So he falls off the roof and dies. Yes. Right? The elves don't care. That's true. They're not like... They come back to the show. They're like, you're the new Santa. They're not like they come back to the show. They're like, you're the new Santa. They're not like, oh no!

What happened to Jerry? Oh, I loved him! Jerry Claus! Right? Yeah, exactly. Off the back of that, I think also he wasn't getting kids the right presents because Judge Reinhold and the mother who has a name they

Who was wearing the very severe Bob wig that's like, I'm taking things too seriously. You know, the Janet Van Dyne in Ant-Man 1? Very much so, yeah. That's all about that. But they have very, I guess, relatable stories. I'm just going to check. Let's pause for a moment.

I don't think maybe her name is, maybe Janet Van Dyne is the different, like I have to check because we'll get emails otherwise. Is it Janet or is it Hope? It's Hope Van Dyne. There we go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you want to say it again? I'm going to say it again.

Okay, cool. We'll leave this in the extended. Yeah, of course we will. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, go. But you guys will know. Yeah, you guys know. Who is obviously wearing the very severe, the very severe, I'm taking things too seriously

Bob as evidence, as seen on Hope Van Dyne in Ant-Man, obviously. That's it. What a great addition. And you knew that, didn't you? That, obviously. That's it. What a great addition. And you knew that, didn't you? That's right. This is off the top of your head. But they mention how that, look, when we were kids, I wanted this particular gift and I didn't get it

and it broke my heart and I hate Santa. Like they both have that story. But presumably they were both good kids. Maybe. So why didn't they get the good presents? That's what I'm saying. So this guy has been getting it wrong and in addition to that the second year that tim ellen comes back and he's like i'm santa

fucking look at this um they they're like guess what santa we've made all these upgrades to your sleigh you've got a gps you've got a microphone in your hat you've got a cookie dispenser exactly you've got a flame retardant suit you've got a rope like all of these things the other guy had none of that shit yeah the other guy they were like we don't care if you burn up on re-entry here's a rope to hang yourself we're gonna bleep to hang yourself yeah we'll have to won't we yeah to hang some christmas cheer yes what would that be i think you're absolutely right but also another question might be how many santas have there been in between? Maybe there's been hundreds. Surely he, maybe that's the other thing.

Maybe he's getting shot every year. Because we'll talk about it at the end, but there was an alternate version of this that they nearly made where Tim Allen talks about he initially shot Santa. Right. Like that's what they were going to do. Instead of him just slipping off the roof. Yeah. He's murdered.

He's murdered. Which makes sense because he's a guy clambering on a roof in a place where presumably a lot of people have guns and the right to protect their property with said guns. Exactly. The other thing is, I think they also knew that Tim Allen was going to be Santa. And I think this also speaks to like the third movie, which I can't really remember, but there's time travel. We'll come back to it maybe, I guess.

Because elves are scattered throughout this movie and they're kind of passing as regular kids but they're like in the in the in the sun's uh classroom there's one sitting there yeah but there's one that shows up before he becomes santa claus oh so i think they were watching him do you think they were scoping out potential santa clauses yes huh do you think this is a neo in the one do you think this is a neo in the Matrix situation? It might very well be. And I know we're not really talking about the movie itself, but I just want to talk about the implications of the wider universe. That's what's fascinating to me about these movies. Is this a curse?

When you become the Santa Claus, so if you kill Santa Claus and you put on his suit, But again, he didn't even really kill Santa Claus. No, I mean, yeah, if you find his clothes or whatever. Also, yeah, if you kill him and you put on the suit, you're a murderer who's Santa. But that speaks to something else that I want to talk about. Is it the legality of the Santa Claus itself? Is that the curse, is that what you're saying?

No, what I'm saying is that I don't think it's legally binding. Because fine print is. James, if I can put my legal hat on for a moment. Fine print is legally binding, especially if it's in a place where you can see it. But that's only if it's a uh it's a reasonable uh set of terms and conditions and wouldn't have to be presented to you in a way where you know like you know what's there precisely yeah the idea james that if you put on a man's suit you become a mythical creature who's bound to deliver presents to children for all eternity. That's an unreasonable supposition, James.

Yeah, you're absolutely right. So it is a curse. It's not a clause. It is a curse. They should have called it the Santa curse. What if you don't want to be Santa? That's the thing. That's kind of a big part of this movie

because when he puts on the suit and he's delivering presents, when he visits that little girl, he's like, I don't want the milk. He's like yelling at her. There's a moment at the start where there's like, great sales, everybody, and he snatches the microphone off his colleague, and he's like, good thing we're all here and not with our families, and Johnson's going to bang his secretary or whatever. It's like, you know, when Johnny Blaze first becomes Ghost Rider, and he's just running,

he's on fire, and he's like, ah! It's like, do all the santas when they first become santa just appear in people's houses and just scream and run around and just it's just a night of wild chaos they're knocking stuff over just just millions of people around the world have a horrifying experience with santa and i so what i'm saying is i think that this changed him and he didn't want that because, of course, there's the weight gain, like the uncontrollable weight gain where you'd be like, what is this?

As someone who's like reigned very early for my age, I could totally relate to like aging and worried about like blowing out. You can totally tell. Weight gain, your extreme weight gain, you can relate to that, sure. Then he's in the boardroom and he starts flipping out about toys and how you've got to do the right thing. It's fundamentally altering his personality. Right.

I think he's a vessel. Like he's not Santa, he's a shell. It's a brain worm. Yes, that's right. That's crawled up from the depths of the North Pole. It was under the ice for millions of years and then global warming like thawed it out. And then all of a sudden it's out.

And it's stretching its tentacles across the world. Exactly. It's kidnapping children. That's right. Making them work in a factory. And look, to be fair, like, I like the transformation effects for the most part. There's an odd morph in the mirror, which, you know, that's very... Oh, that's one of the worst.

Yeah. But, you know, that was when Morphin was big. Remember that? It was Morphin time. It was Morphin time, exactly. There's some other effects that I do like, though, like the big rubber suit, like the belly's quite good. If you've seen the behind the scenes,

he's got a big jiggly Christmas butt as well. Oh, right. Which, you know, which I appreciate. There's a moment where he first lands the reindeer, though, on the roof, and it looks like a gif, like the way it lands. I don't know if you remember, but it looks like a gif like the way it lands and if you remember it looks like it's like two frames of animation yeah anyway uh it's a lot you know what reminds me of it reminds me of the movie clown from 2014 you familiar with that no not at

all it's a movie where on may 10th kingdom of the planet of the Apes is coming to IMAX and theaters everywhere. What a wonderful day! This summer, one movie event will reign. It is our time. Apes hunt humans. That is wrong. Bend for your king. Never.

Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes. Only in theaters May 10th. Tickets on sale now. Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever? Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Center for Addiction and Mental Health, to support life-saving progress in mental health care. From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together

and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So, who will you rise for? Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. A man, a dad, puts on a clown suit for a children's party But it's some kind of demonic entity

And he can't get it off And it slowly takes him over and he becomes a horrific clown Sure John Watts went on to make Spider-Man The first Spider-Man and the second Spider-Man There you go But yeah, it's got that vibe, right? Yeah, definitely

Imagine if this was happening to you. It's the opposite of the movie Thinner. Also. Fatter. Fatter. Jollier. Jollier. Also, how does the sack work?

Like the sack of... James, that's an issue for another video, I think. No, no, no. Don't bleep this bed. So the sack is magic, right? Yes. He's pulling out canoes and shit. He's knocking stuff down. And then there's a moment where he's just like, I found this puppy so the sack is magic right yes he's pulling out canoes and shit he's knocking stuff

down and then there's a moment where he's just like i found this puppy in the bag is he just loose in the bag like is there like a shelf you can sit him on right is it a black void does it go back to santa's workshop what is it what is it good question what is anything in this universe right there should be an election for santa also It shouldn't just be whoever happens to be there. It should be like, who wants to be Santa? Yeah. But again, if it's a vessel, it doesn't really matter, does it? But then why was the previous guy so bad at it?

Some vessels are better than others. It'd be like with the exorcism. Sometimes it gets into someone and it's like, I don't want to be in this, dude. This sucks. I've got a question. Sure. At one point, David Krumholz,

Numbers, Numbers. Barry Numbers from the TV show Numbers, just shows up in Tim Allen's house. Yeah. Can they all do that?

If they can all do that, what's the point of Santa Claus? That's a great, that's a great point. Why's he getting about and he's, if he's got a multi-dimensional

sack full of gifts and a bloody reindeer, why does he need to fly around? Can he teleport? Well, you see Krumholtz disappear in like a shower of confetti. But also, yeah, some of them have jetpacks. Sure. So maybe it's only Krumholtz.

Maybe it's only Krumholtz. Do you think it's like a... Hashtag it's only Krumholtz. It's only Krumholtz. Maybe it's a situation of like, you know, in some variations of Sherlock Holmes. It's the comedic ones. Yes. Where like Watson is really the intelligent one.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Is it that situation where Krumholtz is running things? Maybe. And it's just like, yeah, you're just the guy for this week, I guess. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. True.

Also, after Christmas, like when he gets back to the factory after he first delivers them, they're all still working. They just power on through, mate. They don't stop. You don't think Christmas is the day where you kick back and you go, You give them one day off. Give them one day off, Mason. How much do you think Denny's paid them to just have Tim Allen

shit on that restaurant in this movie? Oh, good question. Well, not him. It's more of his kid and the situation. Because they go to Denny's and he's like, I burnt the turkey so this is as good as any. It's just filled with sad dads and kids who hate their sad dads. They're like, they ask for eggnog, they don't have it.

They ask for chocolate milk, they don't have it. They ask for apple pie, they don't have it. Surely this wasn't a paid sponsorship. It's bizarre, isn't it? I wonder how they got away with it. We should have done some research. We'll do it afterwards. I actually have a little bit of a...

We'll talk about it on our podcast, The Weekly Planet, some weeks later. Some weeks later. I've actually got a story about Denny's, which sure, I could... Australia had Denny's for like five minutes

when we were kids. That's not my story. Did you ever have it when you were... Yeah. And? Can't remember. Yeah. So...

I think it was meant to be... It was fancy in Australia though. Oh, okay. Whereas Denny's in America, it was like on an Ocean View property, if I recall. Oh, my goodness. Right? But yeah, in America, anything but.

Yeah, absolutely. What is your Denny's story? So in 2017, I was in the US, right? I was there for a wedding, but I also did some other stuff while I was there, like Screen Junkies and Collider and whatever. But I went to a Denny's in Vegas when I was there for a Bucks party. Thanks, baby. Here's some footage, maybe.

Was this post-Bucks party? Or was it like the morning after? Yeah. Was this the movie The Hangover? It was like three days. So it was somewhere in that window. Right. Bit vague, eh?

Yeah, bit vague. I hated Vegas. It's a fucking horrible place. But anyway, I'm not a gambler, Mason. James, it's a Christmas cheer place. Yeah, you're right. Absolutely. We're bleeping.

Thank you, yeah. But I had Denny's. I went in and I'm like i had i had denny's i went in on my i know denny's i know and i ate i ate some denny's it was literally the worst breakfast i've ever had in my life wow and then do you get the moons over my hammy i have no idea it was like it was like gray eggs and cold toast i can't yeah that's what it is i can't remember but then cut to a year later solos coming out. Okay, sure. And there's a Denny's promotion. And they email me and they're like, do you want to promote the Solo Denny's food offer?

They're like, we'll give you and Meso $100,000. And you were like, no. Look, I'll be honest. It wasn't a small amount of money. It was a decent amount of money. And if I had never have been, I would have gone fuck it i'll do it whatever but i just went i can't like i hadn't told that story at the time like i wasn't publicly known that i'd had this experience with denny's but i was just like but denny's knows james yeah and maybe i had a bad experience but

it was just like in good conscious i I cannot take this money. Wow. Yeah. So we don't chill for anything, but I mean most things, but yeah. Yeah, that's right. We've got some lives. But to answer your question, I reckon Denny's paid them to be in the movie. They're just like any mention of us. We'll take it.

It's fine. Got some trivia here, Mason. I'm ready. Some time for some Christmas trivia. Love it. What do you think? Yeah. Cool.

Some trivia nog. Very good. Thank you. Wait. Egg trivia. Love it. What do you think? Yeah. Cool. Some trivia nog. Very good. Thank you. Wait, egg trivia. Very good. So one week in November 1994, Tim Allen had the number one movie at the box office.

It says brackets this movie. Nice. Yes, we know. The number one rated television show, Home Improvement. Oh. And the number one New York Times bestselling book, Don't Stand Too Close to a Naked Man. This was presumably about his time in jail for cocaine trafficking.

There you go. I mean, that's like the EGOT of the books, TVs, movies. It's the EGOT? Yeah. Wait, sorry, the EGOT? They both work. They both work. I'll leave them both in. Thank you.

Here's some other people That were up for the role Of the Scott Charles What's his name? What? Scott Calvin Is that his name?

Scott wait Yes Yeah Bill Murray But he didn't want to do it Chevy Chase dropped out Also apparently bad dude Real life

Robin Williams That would have been good actually He loves a transformation That's right Mrs Doubtfire Again Divorced dad Trying to make a go

of it. They're loving it. They're loving it, mate. That era, my god. Tom Hanks, who has of course played him since in that movie, It's a Nightmare, about Christmas. Not the Nightmare Before Christmas, the Polar Express. Mel Gibson. Jeff Bridges.

I mean, Mel Gibson again, he's going to be Santa. Oh yeah, I think that's out. Fatman. Fatman, yeah. Jeff Bridges. Michael Keaton Mel Gibson again. He's going to be Santa coming up soon. Oh, yeah. I think that's out. Fatman. Fatman, yeah. Jeff Bridges. Michael Keaton. Loves the transformation as well. Man, I would have loved to see Jeff Bridges and Michael Keaton teaming up.

Oh, my goodness. Right? Arnold, who ended up doing Jingle All The Way. Jingle All The Way, yeah. Bad Dad, Be Dad. That's right. Yes. I think he's married in that.

Doesn't matter. John Ritter. It's got that vibe. John Ritter. Patrick Swayze. Kurt Russell, who of course is Santa Claus now. Not in real life. Mike Myers.

John Travolta. Alan Rickman. Rowan Atkinson. Jerry Seinfeld. And Harrison Ford. My goodness. I would saw off one of my arms for a Harrison Ford Santa Claus movie. But just let him do it how he wants to do it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he would be perfect for just a fed up, grumpy son of a bitch Santa Claus. Yeah, he's been doing it for 20, 30 years. By that I mean acting. He's sick of it. So according to the making of TV show, which aired at the time, Tim Allen was miserable while shooting the film. It was shot in the summer

in a non-air-conditioned building. When he was in full costume with the fat suit, the facial prosthetics, the beard, and the Santa Claus suit, it was so hot he had to take frequent breaks

to cool off. When he got too warm, he would occasionally forget about the children who were playing elves and start cursing. On top of that, the Santa suit rubbed his neck

and caused him to develop a painful rash. So yeah, there's stories that he's even been more open about this recently where he'd just be like punching darts in his trailer and the kids are like, Santa, we want to see Santa. He's like, I'm a fucking Santa. I'm not Santa. Wow.

Sounds like a real life this character that he played in this movie. That's right. Exactly. Yeah. Also, here's the story that he tells about how he was initially going to shoot Santaanta and kill him and that's how the movie was going to kick off pretty good stuff well done fallon if it was on fallon or one of the other jimmies perfect you always know how to do a good interview and by that i mean prep an interview and you tell the stories before and then you just redo them for live television and i think a lot of the time the aspects of your personality don't

translate to doing your show from home in a pandemic situation. Got him. That's trivia. That's right. That's egg trivia. Possibly trivia nog? Yeah, sure. I don't have a problem with any of the Jimmys.

Good on you, Matt. You're making a go of it. Yeah, trivia nog. Whatever we said. Well, I don't know. I don't know anymore. Anyway, we're coming back, I guess, next week. We're going to do Santa Claus 2, the one where he has to steal a wife because he needs a wife in it.

Nice. Yeah. Otherwise he can't be Santa anymore, which is also something he might want. I don't know. Nice. You excited for that? I'm very excited. I'm kind of jazzed.

Great. I like the line in this where he's like, I'm after this, so I'm going to get a CAT scan. Because he thinks he's having a brain problem. And it could be. That explains this whole universe. It really does, doesn't it? Yeah.

Anyways, we do videos here all the time Mason don't we that's right including Caravan of Garbages they come out every Tuesday but guess what you can see them early

at bigsandwich.co if you do want to sign up there's also an ad free feed of our podcast The Weekly Planet which you mentioned that's right there's also

movie commentaries yep sorry there's also movie commentaries isn't there Mason perfect yes there's also a bonus podcast That's right

There's a bunch of stuff there You can check out if you want to But look Let's have a safe and happy holidays That's right Grabbed our jam you guys And Merry Christmas Man

It's just fun to say Was he doing that in real life And then he folded into his show? He used to do stand up He was in the stand-up. Ah, he was in the stand-up. It was probably like a caveman bit or whatever. Yeah, maybe, yeah, yeah. Because they're always hunting for the remote.

Like it'd be something like that. If it's not, that's yours now. I think Jerry Seinfeld maybe did that, but that's mine now. It's yours now. That's right. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. I mean, if you want. It's up to you.

FX's The Veil explores the surprising and fraught relationship between two women who play a deadly game of truth and lies on the road from Istanbul to Paris and London. One woman has a secret, from Istanbul to Paris and London. One woman has a secret, the other a mission to reveal it before thousands of lives are lost. FX's The Veil, starring Elizabeth Moss, is now streaming on Disney+.