The Weekly Planet - Timecop - Caravan Of Garbage

Episode Date: July 17, 2025

TIMECOP. Sorry I'm getting ahead of myself. Basically we like the idea of doing a series of videos on movies that you didn't realise were based on comic books. And in the first of four weeks we're taking a look at peak JCVD (Jean-Claude Van Damme), Timecop. A movie about a man who's both time and cop determined to stop financial criminality across the centuries whilst not really bothering with the actual ramifications. You can kill whomever in Timecop, it's totally fine don't worry about it. Hell of a movie though. Thanks for watching our Caravan Of Garbage reviewSUBSCRIBE HERE ►► http://goo.gl/pQ39jNHelp support the show and get early episodes ► https://bigsandwich.co/Patreon ► https://patreon.com/mrsundaymoviesJames' Twitter ► http://twitter.coQm/mrsundaymoviesMaso's Twitter ► http://twitter.com/wikipediabrownPatreon ► https://patreon.com/mrsundaymoviesT-Shirts/Merch ► https://www.teepublic.com/stores/mr-sunday-movies The Weekly Planet iTunes ► https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-weekly-planet/id718158767?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4 The Weekly Planet Direct Download ► https://play.acast.com/s/theweeklyplanetAmazon Affiliate Link ► https://amzn.to/2nc12P4 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome back everybody to another episode of Caravan of Garbage where we're taking a swing at something that I don't think will do very well But hey, it's the season for it Mason for tanking the algorithm again. We're back This is take two of tanking the algorithm. Yeah, and if you look at the views on the last time we did that the Michael Crichton adaptations Oh, they get lower every episode. Okay, great. Don't worry about that This time the topic is that's a comic book movie? Apparently it is. Yeah. Yeah, well. So we're gonna do four entries in the that's a comic book movie, movie franchise.

They're not all in the same franchise. They're four separate movies. They're in a franchise in our heart. That's right. Whatever the four are, and I don't know what they are beyond the first one, they all exist in the same universe to me. Correct.

So we're starting of course with 1994's Time Cop. One word. That's right. I always thought it was two words. No Mason! Wow. Well that's on me. I agree.

This is my first apology. Let's mark that down. Well look, if you want to make amends and maybe people can help you with this, you could leave a like along with everybody else. If I promise to do that, can we take away one of my apologies? Yes, okay, cool. Okay fantastic done So this of course is based off the Dark Horse comic of the same name. Don't say of course of course Mason Okay, written by Mike Richardson who of course is one of the founders of Dark Horse

So he did the comic and the movie as well Yeah, the story of this does exist within the comics, but I wouldn't say the source material is particularly well known. I mean, the first issue he appears in, it's with a bunch of other stuff, including Predator and probably Robocop or whatever. But not together? No. No, they're not friends. Separate stories, they're not friends.

Interesting because both Timecop and the Terminator have travelled through time. That's true. So you think they would be friends, you think they'd bond on that level. Or they'd try to kill each other. Robocop went through time that time. Yeah, he did, when he did Terminator have travelled through time. That's true. So you think they would be friends, you think they'd bond on that level. Or they'd try to kill each other. Robocop went through time that time. Yeah, he did when he did Terminator 2. That's the time, yes. And he did it other times. Probably, yeah.

But he did do Terminator 2 that time. I guess also the thing about Dark Horse comics is they were mostly known for adapting previously existing IP. Versus and so forth. Yeah, and like expanding it. They had Star Wars for the longest time alien predator Terminator Robocop what else Mason barbed wire barbed wire. That's one actually barbed wire is an original concept It's for comics greatest world, which was their equivalent of like a superior universe. Okay, also ghost the machine. Yep

Some other guys, I don't know also barbed wire is next week. All right. I've heard it's bad other guys I don't know also barbed wire is next week all right I've heard it's bad it's bad too yeah looking forward to that so the story of this because we're gonna have to do a brief recap of course oh yeah is what okay so in 1994 yep the past mm-hmm time travel is invented what right but that means of course that people are gonna do evil time travel stuff how'd they get the time machines I don't know no they explained it no they didn. It was a spare one at the end. Oh, right. The bad guy had the prototype. You don't see it. Right. But you could have just filmed the same one and like reversed the shot and be like, yeah, this one goes right to left instead

of left to right. Okay, but how many were there? Because it seems like- Two. Yeah, but it seems- Oh no, there's others, isn't there? That's what I'm saying. I'm saying- I think it's gone nuts immediately. Yeah, you're probably right. This movie asks... Actually, this movie doesn't ask any questions. No, it makes you ask questions off the movie. And it doesn't have any answers, because that's what a 90s movie does. It takes the very basic premise, which I'll now explain,

and then it goes, please do not think about it. We'll give you some fun set pieces, a man will do the splits a bunch of times, there'll be a sex scene scene wouldn't say that these days There's laser sights. We're going nuts with the laser sights. Yeah, and then the movie ends Oh and a guy melts runs into himself and he melts. Yes. He melts. Oh, it's spectacular Anyway, so time travel is invented. So they get they're gonna need the US government's gonna need an organization to Police all the time travel to make sure nobody goes back in time and kills Hitler, for example. Yeah.

I mean... They specifically cite that example. They say... You might create turbo Hitler. Yeah. Somebody says, you shouldn't go back in time to kill Hitler even though everybody in this room probably wants to. Which I would say, I don't know if every politician would want to go back and kill Hitler.

No, I don't think so either. Also, it's a bad sperm situation, you know? Well, we'll get to that I think shortly, but I have so many questions. So there's evil people doing bad time travel for profit, and Jean-Claude Van Damme, he's on the tech, the time enforcement commission, because he was befouled when they shot his wife who was Ferris Bueller's girlfriend. And also Harley Quinn from Birds of Prey Oh yeah! That's right! The TV series

Yes Flash forward to the year 2004 Which at this point is the far future All the cars are nonsense They don't have windscreens They're clearly just Toyota Corollas with some boxes stuck on them And pipes and so forth You go to the body shop in 2004 and you take your Toyota Corolla in and you go

Can you make this theme to the Super Mario Brothers movie, please? Could you do that? Oh you can terrific? 2004 is just the present day. Yeah, absolutely But luckily you don't have to show any more of the future of 2004 because all the crime is happening Wouldn't you know it back in 1994? Yeah, the the guy who is the the politician? Who is the head of the oversight committee for this time cop situation. Yeah. He's been using time cop stuff and time travel stuff to fund his bid for the presidency. And then he wants to shut down the time cop league which you know is suspicious in itself. Isn't it though? Yeah.

Yeah, and John Claude Van Damme's like, I think this guy's doing time crimes. And everyone's like, well, maybe. We're all in the take, honestly. Every single one of us, besides you and the chief, you're all in the take. Because, I don't know if you can, what you've done is you've given a bunch of cops, a really small number of cops too,

there's like a dozen guys. No one's watching them. You've given them all incredible time travel abilities, and who watches The Watchmen? That's right. Just John Claude Van Damme. Yeah. I mean I do have a lot of...

You know what it is? It's some real penny-ante stuff. What does that mean? Like, it's a real nickel and dime situation, all these things. It's kind of like they've taken this thing to heart of like, well you can't kill Hitler. So they're all just like, you know, let's go back in time and make money. But it's all such elaborate stuff.

Stocks. For such ultimately little game. Yeah. Cowboy stuff or something. And obviously, you know, because it's a movie from the 90s, you know, you just want to put in a couple of flashy set pieces to prove it's a time travel movie. Really, you could take out most of the time travel stuff.

If it's just a corrupt cop who gets betrayed and then he gets his revenge or whatever, you could take out the time travel stuff. But the opening sequence of course is during, set during the Civil War and a battalion of Confederate troops are moving some gold. Yeah. And a guy shows up and he's like, give me all your gold. And he whips out his big 90s machine guns with laser sights on them. He takes the gold and then he uses, then it turns out he's like give me all your gold and he whips out his big 90s machine guns with laser sights on him Yeah, he takes the gold and then he uses then it turns out he's used the gold to buy a nuclear warhead in the future Yeah, and there's another sequence where a man we learn was Jean-Claude Van Damme's former time cop partner. He has gone back in time to the 1930s

Yeah, and what he is doing is he's got a list of stocks that are valuable in the future. And he's got a Walkman. And he's gonna buy them all cheap in the 30s. I think it's a mini disc player, but go on, sorry. And then he's gonna be rich. Then he's gonna get that money in the future and he's gonna use that for nefarious ends. He's gonna actually use that to... He's gonna give that money to his boss who's the politician to fund his these presidential campaign pretty good pretty slick, but in both of these situations?

Mmm, like this one. He's gonna have to go back in time. He has to hire an office He has to get an old-timey suit. Oh, yeah, yes to just to work there for a while How did he get the initial money because you can't use modern money? You'd have to get old-timey money so they can either make a bunch of You can print it. It's fine. That's what I'm saying. So either you have a photocopy They wouldn't know about that. He's gonna say either you can print a bunch of old-timey money in which case Why couldn't you just counterfeit? 2004 money that's harder or did they send him back in time to like 1920 and he's been sweeping floors for 10 years

Just to get a scratch Yeah, also like he doesn't need an office, he could just buy stock. Right? Yeah. I guess you know. That's nice. Yeah, it's nice. And same with the other thing, like you've got this, you go back in time, you steal this

gold, you go into the future and you use that money to buy a nuclear warhead. You know what you could do is you could just write down the winning lottery numbers and you can go back in time a week and just get the money. I looked it up. In our 2004, the biggest US lottery win was $290 million. That's enough? I think that's probably enough. At one point, the politician's like,

oh, I gotta pay $50 million for this. Oh, how am I gonna get that money? Win the lottery. Just win the lottery. You could do it. You could go back an hour. You could go back an hour. Yeah. Right? Just don't touch yourself. You'll turn into a goat. That's true. The screaming goat and that is the I have more questions

No, look, you're not wrong. And I think the thing about the time travel in this yet The rules are kind of all over the place. I do like the time travel ripple effect I'm sure that was spellbinding at the time. I'm sure spellbinder. Here are the rules. Don't kill Hitler Yeah, which again I'm gonna get to in a minute. Yep. Don't touch yourself. Yep. Don't touch your past self. Those are separate things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's another one?

You have to get shot back on a rocket car on a track. To go into the past. Yeah, but then when you get there, sometimes you fly in, and sometimes you just walk in. Yeah. And then to get back... You just push a button on your vest. Yeah, but then you're back in the rocket car and it sends you going the opposite direction. Oh, well, so you can't go to the future. No, you can't go to the future

because it hasn't happened yet. But at some point it would have happened. Yeah. So they're at the forefront of the future. Yeah, that's right. 2004. Yeah. But now we could go back to 2004. That's right. And be like, oh, yeah, weird cars. Right. I don't remember them being this weird. I guess if you won $290 million you could buy a Super Mario Bros. themed car, I guess. You absolutely could. Now this is, for a number of reasons, this is peak Van Damme. Absolutely.

I would say peak popularity, of course Street Fighter came out this year, we talked about that in an earlier video a few months back. Also his name is Max Walker, which means nothing to you if you live outside of Australia or you're Australian and you were born after the year 1993. That's right. So Max Walker was a cricket player slash commentator. Slash football player. Slash football player who was also the main character of a cricket commentary parody comedy series of CDs called The 12th Man. That's right. Which we have mentioned before.

Yes. Don't worry about it. This is only relevant to us. He also wrote a number of sports-related anecdote books, including How to Kiss a Crocodile and How to Puzzle a Python. RIP by the way. You died in 26th. What I do like about sending John Claude Van Damme back in time, to like the 30s, is that he's fighting old school boxing guys. And they've never seen a guy do the splits, or use sticks.

Spin kicks? Or yeah, just being kicked. This is what I wanted from Timeline, because a couple of weeks ago when we tried to tank the algorithm It worked! We watched, we'd worked We had to go back in time a couple of times to try it. Yeah, we were like, oh we got a Watching popular movies. Yeah, let's say they shows didn't work. Yeah, that's right But yeah in timeline they they didn't do anything from the future

No, they didn't use their future skills, but this guy's going freaking nuts. Just a guy who can kick you in the nuts I feel like that would change the future if you kick the dude in the nuts, right? That would spread like wildfire Among the gangs, you know, but that's the thing I was gonna say, right? They say don't kill Hitler But if you kill Hitler, yeah, or you did anything Like on that scale they killed the politician. Yeah, right villain So I mean and spoiler alert Van Damme does change the past so his wife like a number of times But if you kill Hitler what would happen is the socio-political makeup of the world would change so

Significantly that millions of people who are going to be born wouldn't be born and vice versa It would be a different Inside different different billion people whatever and the knock-on effects would go on year on year So statistically speaking the guy who invented time travel wouldn't exist Yeah, so then what would happen the timeline would just reset I guess so don't even worry about don't even worry about it That's what I would tell my boss if I worked in the time cop offices as to why I keep leaving early I'm like well boss because of the paradox. That's why that's why I'm taking a half day. Also. I worked in the time cop offices as to why I keep leaving early. I'm like well boss, because of the paradox. That's why I'm taking a half day.

Also I'm in the union. And it's one of those situations where I'd imagine they're sitting around in a boardroom and they're like is this like a multiple reality thing? Is it one timeline? And they're like who cares? Don't worry about it. Is it a multiverse? Don't say that.

Yeah. Are we branching off? There's no way to know and no don't think about it we just got to stop these little nickel and dimes I was gonna say like the thought just occurred to me is like you guess if the bad guys were just going you obviously have to do it because it's spectacular for the movie but if the bad guys were just going back in time and buying lottery tickets it would just be 90 minutes of Van Damme busting people in 7-elevens coming Coming in doing the splits.

Yeah, that's right. Slamming them over the counter being like, this is for the timeline. God. I mean, the splits are really his thing at this point. But nobody in the 30s would have had that flexibility. No. Remember the bit where he avoids the taser in the kitchen? Yeah. God, that's good stuff in that total recall room that he lives in. Those are the two things I remember from watching some of this.

God, he looks good, doesn't he? Watching some of this on the TV back in the day. It's the machine gun guy at the start with the laser sights because they were so 90s and so future and doing the splits. He even looks good with that 2004 mullet which we all had. He had that in Hard Target as well I want to say? One of those.

And he's a lover. Okay let's talk about this. Sex. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. So there's a- Now you're talking my language. So there is a sex scene in this, and then there's like a very brief 10 second point of view virtual reality sex moment. That's right because one of the guys in the time travel agency- One of the IT guys. He's goofing off on the job. He looks like one of the guys that would be doing that too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, that's where we got, isn't it?

So it's not wrong. And he's in a union. So he's allowed, the boss can't stop him. Yeah, man, I'd imagine, and I don't really remember, but this would have been one of those movies that all the kids knew about, that's like, oh no, it's got that bit in it. Yeah, if you watched it on VHS,

if you watched it on TV, all that would be gone. That is true. He would go in to kiss Harley Quinn from Birds of Prey and then it would cut. Yeah. And then it would be. That's right. This was the era where you couldn't get pornography.

Now you can get too much pornography all of the time. You know? I agree. I'm not sex negative Mason, I say, if you want to get a bunch of pornography, that's good, but maybe don't get too much pornography Just a little bit of a PSA. Can we Photoshop that on to James's tombstone? Here it is That's his if you want to get all the pornography you can do that and that's great or whatever you say Don't get too much photography. I think the villain is really good at this. He's um Ron Silver

It's shades of that guy in Die Hard. Absolutely. The slimy businessman in Die Hard. He's from Supergirl, what's his name? Hart Bochner or something? Oh yeah, could be. Yeah, something like that. Is his name.

And he's just got great colorful henchmen. And I think also he does a really good job of separating the 1994 version from the 2004 version. I think those are very distinct. Like the future ones like, aha! And the past ones like, what? I'm fat. He's got to be fat. He looked most of the same. I think also there's some incredible special effects in this. There's a few split screen moments with that villainous character. There's a few splits on the screen. True. But you know where he does the walk around

of himself? There's a moment where he drops himself a letter, which is really good Yeah, I think there's great compositing in this in general There's a moment where Van Damme appears in front of a truck and then ducks under it Mm-hmm a truck and duck a truck and duck classic truck and duck You don't see those anymore. You really can't and does he just have two people, you know Talk in front of a green screen. Yeah, whatever exactly I mean, I think one of the reasons and we've talked about this extensively on our podcast the weekly planet James and other places You can't get me to shut up about it

The thing about movies from the 90s is they often look really good because the people making them had to think about the shot before They filmed it very sparing use of whatever yet. Yeah exactly planet. I think corridor crew should look at this, you know Oh, yeah fix it. No, it's good. Just look at it and go pretty good for the time Yeah, nice and then one of them goes what yeah. Yeah, it's good. Just look at it and go pretty good for the time. Oh yeah nice. And then one of them goes what? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's good. There is a nice scene as well I thought and it's not special effects based, but there's a moment where Van Damme is watching a video of his wife Oh, classic wife died. Dead wife. I know it's dead wife footage, but he's watched it so many times He knows what he's gonna say before he says it. You know what? I haven't mentioned this. He's really good in this I agree. And I think it is a good movie.

Does it make sense? No. No. Is it good? Maybe not. Is it a good movie though? Yes. It's certainly watchable, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. I think there's also some great deaths.

There's a dude who plummets from the sky and lands on a car. That's a great just heavy dummy hit in a windscreen. And a great reaction from a guy. Yeah, man. From the old-timey copper on the street who gets two reactions. Yeah. One, wow that guy just disappeared. Two, oh he just reappeared now he's dead. Gets the two, he gets both. Yeah. He gets to have his cake and eat it too. I think he's Irish also which is just brilliant. Also a guy has his arm frozen and then kicked off but it gets kicked off like it's not just his arm it's like part of his body and it looks a little wonky but I'm like that's

a good death to a man. I agree. Oh he's got a partner that betrays him of course. He's got two partners that betray him. That's true actually. Yeah you think maybe it's just because his vibe is off. Yeah maybe. Yeah he probably has a bad vibe. Yeah he probably does yeah and I do like the moment where he goes back and sees his wife and she's alive in the shopping mall and she's like what happened to you and it's like dude he looks the same like he grew a mullet if that's right if anything yeah yeah you don't recognize this guy like come on man I mean she does I guess and there's a couple of Van Damme's running around in the final sequence yeah that's right I like all of that it's just there's

enough of him on screen together you you're never in a state of disbelief that there isn't two of him I think it's... When did Double Impact come out after this? God one packs a piece the other packs a punch You better believe it. I want to say the exact same time Potentially sure. I would say before. Okay. I'm checking though. Yeah 91. Okay Yeah, well, I guess they did their market research and they went well people want two Van Dammes on screen at once. That's true Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I know you brought it up before but the um, I do they did their market research and they went well people want two Van Dammes on screen at once. That's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I know you brought it up before but the um, I do like the melding death where they both come together. I know it looks like lawnmower man or whatever.

Oh, yeah. But it's a fun blending effect. Sometimes things gotta look like lawnmower man. Exactly. Sometimes they have to. Yeah. And of course, yeah, at the ending he does change time because he fixes everything and his wife's alive and he has a kid, but... Which they'd all be doing because you'd never know. You would, yeah, exactly. The timeline might have been changed a thousand times, but nobody knows because all the history

books would be changed too. Yeah. Or they wouldn't? One time he comes back and his boss is like, I don't like you. And he's like, we're friends. And he's like, all right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay, if you say so.

But also he has no memory of that, so if you change the timeline, you don't have a memory of the series events that led you to that point. If you're in the regular timeline. These are not questions for anyone, James. They'll never be answered. You're right.

Who am I asking? Who am I talking to? I don't know, man. Leave it in the comments. Don't, don't, I don't, just don't. Maybe if you have theories. Yeah. Maybe you know whoever wrote this. Yeah, maybe you know whoever wrote this

Yeah, well, we know Sam Raimi who produced this that's right and the other guy Robert Tappers Robert Tappers. Yes Not my favorite food. Okay Mason. It's time for trivia. You're under arrest It's a fair cop a time cop very good. This is a trivia section of the show where I go I've looked into some stuff Van Damme credited Peter Hyams as the only person he was the director who came to visit him while he Was in rehab. Isn't that nice? That is nice. Yeah, because they did a bunch of movies together. Where were you Sam Raimi and Robert Tappis? Mmm. Were you getting your favorite food? Pinchos? Would you like Tappis but not? Yeah, I think they probably were the whole time. Max's 2004 hairstyle was partially influenced by Wolverine

from the comics apparently, and of course he also wore Wolverine brand work boots. Could you see that when he does the high kick? That's pretty dope, yeah. I don't think his hair is influenced by Wolverine. I think it's just a mullet. Yeah. Straight up. Agreed, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

And also you might know this, but what's Max's futuristic wristwatch? Do you know? I didn't see. It's a stock Casio model DW-400. That's great. I agree. That's the future baby It's the future and the past at this point now the box office for this on a budget of 28 million dollars It made a hundred million. This is Van Dam's highest grossing solo movie like lead movie like Street Fighter did well But he's not the only one in Street Fighter. Is that including Double Impact where it's technically not a solo movie because there's two of it?

Yeah I would say so, that's probably including that. Yeah and we talked about Van Dam's career when we did Street Fighter but he basically he wanted more money for subsequent films because Jim Carrey was the highest paid actor in Hollywood and he's like well I'm at that level but Jim Carrey in 1994 had three number one films. He had Ace Ventura, The Mask and the one with Jeff Daniels or whatever, Dog Car. And this guy only had Super Mario Brothers car. Yeah, that's right. And so, you know, it ended up being his highest grossing movie of all

time as of so far. I mean, Expendables again probably did better, but that's an action vehicle for boring people, both in it and watching it. That was gonna be my question. Thank you for answering it in advance. Now, in terms of the future of Timecop, you probably know this. According to this movie, there is no future, so nothing?

Oh, yeah. Well, time still moves forward, but I see what you're saying. There was a short-lived TV series in 1997 called Timecop, one word, and there was also a direct-to-video sequel named Time Cop colon the Berlin decision starring Jason Scott Lee and Thomas Ian Griffith. They don't really tie into each other at all.

Okay, not even some like, you know, saved, you know, some leftover footage from this where you can just see Van Damme in the background or whatever. Doing a karate kick or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's probably some of that, I guess. Mmm. I don't understand why this didn't really continue the way that even Universal Soldier did. Van Damme in the background or whatever. Doing a karate kick or whatever? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's probably some of that I guess. I don't understand why this didn't really continue the way that even Universal Soldier did,

because Van Damme will come back and do a Universal Soldier every three to five years, you know? I think the answer is because it's harder to write. Oh, okay. Universal Soldier is just guys with guns, but this is like, we have some questions about how time travel works works Well, we don't want to answer those Seems difficult. Is it a multiverse? Shut up. Yeah, just shut up. Just shut up Anyways, if you want to see these videos early because we're doing barbed wire next week And maybe you want to see that early for some reason if you head over to big sandwich.co It's like our private patreon where not only do early videos go up there. We also do video game

Let's plays we do movie commentaries. We do bonus podcasts. We also have a podcast called the Weekly Planet where we talk movies in comics and TV shows. That is so true. That comes out every Monday where we talk about the movie of the week and a bunch of other stuff don't we? Yes. We're like is there a Fantastic Four movie coming out? Yeah we'll talk about that or whatever. That's what we'll do. That's right we'll talk about anything or whatever. Yeah that's right. Quite frankly. That's on its own YouTube channel, Spotify, Apple if you do want to check it out But thank you for watching this and thank you to Ben and Lawrence for the edit. Thank you Ben and Lawrence

And thank you to Timecop the movie. Thanks Timecop. Also really hard to purchase. In Australia certainly. Yeah Yeah, I don't know what the deal there is. Maybe they're doing like an anniversary edition. They did do like a high definition something something a few years back, but I don't know like an anniversary edition or something. They did do like a high definition something, something a few years back, but I don't know. Ask Oliver Harper, he did a review on the Blu-ray. He knows what he's doing. Okay.

All right, thanks everyone. Grab that gem you guys, we'll see you next week. Bye.