The Weekly Planet - Twilight: New Moon - Caravan Of Garbage

Episode Date: February 10, 2022

Due to what can only be described as an outrounding amount of requests, yes we are back to talk Twilight in preparation for all things The Batman. This time around, things really heat up with with the disappearance of horrible vampire boy Edward Cullen and the reintroduction of horrible werewolf boy Jacob Black. Thanks for listening!Video Edition ► https://youtu.be/O2HXZBW7NUsHelp support the show and get early episodes ► https://bigsandwich.co/Patreon ► https://patreon.com/mrsundaymoviesJames' Twitter ► http://twitter.com/mrsundaymoviesMaso's Twitter ► http://twitter.com/wikipediabrownPatreon ► https://patreon.com/mrsundaymoviesT-Shirts/Merch ► https://www.teepublic.com/stores/mr-sunday-movies The Weekly Planet iTunes ► https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-weekly-planet/id718158767?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4 The Weekly Planet Direct Download ► https://play.acast.com/s/theweeklyplanetAmazon Affiliate Link ► https://amzn.to/2nc12P4 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

FX's The Veil explores the surprising and fraught relationship between two women who play a deadly game of truth and lies on the road from Istanbul to Paris and London. One woman has a secret. The other, a mission to reveal it before thousands of lives are lost. FX's The Veil, starring Elizabeth Moss, is now streaming on Disney+. Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever? Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, to support life-saving progress in mental health care.

From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So, who will you rise for? Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca.

This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of Caravan of Garbage. And yes, due to popular request and also backlash batman begins is again on hold that's right i may have uploaded a different thumbnail so apologies for that but you know how youtube is mason you know how it is it's a fickle program and if you upload website yeah and if you upload the wrong thumbnail as a cruel joke they put it it up. They do. They should correct you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Now, James, this is a funny joke, but who's it on? It's on us, isn't it, really? Because we had to watch another Twilight movie. By the way. Now, you'd never seen this one either. No, I haven't. And this one, I should point out, we're moving into the Twilight saga. Oh, boy.

That's where we're at. Twilight 2, Twilight Goes Hawaii. I think it's called a different thing, isn't it? No. Okay, it's called Twilight Goes Hawaii. Or Twilight Goes to Hawaii. The character's name's Twilight, right? The main guy is Twilight?

That's true. The main guy is Twilight. There's a little bit more zest and colour to this one, though, isn't there? As opposed to the cold and calculated Edwin Cullen of last week. This week, we've got the red-hot Jacob. Oh, yes, that's right. Raring to go. Please leave a like if you could.

If not for us, for Jacob's jean shorts, cargo shorts, wolf boy. Oh, my God, it's jean shorts for days. Just a long jean short. Just a long jort. Yes, please. Now, I know probably at the time for teenage girls the appeal of the movie is the love triangle, the Bella, Jacob, Edward love triangle. Sure.

But for me, the whole dramatic tension of this movie was, when's he going to get the short hair? Because the thumbnail for the movie, he had short hair, but when the movie started, he had long hair, and I'm like, when's he going to cut that hair? You know what's coming too. But then he cut it off screen. What the, wow.

That's when he had his wolf transformation. That's the money shot, baby, when he's like, I'm so sad or whatever. I'm cutting my hair. You're right. Jeans shorts. This is really, you're right, though. This is a love triangle between Jacob, Bella, and Jacob's wig, which apparently Taylor Lautner hated in real life.

But I bet he kept it. Do you reckon he kept it? Yeah. Yeah. Why? He's put it in a set of stocks and he throws tomatoes at it. So this one clocks in at 10 minutes longer, and boy, does it. Sure does.

And the kicking off point of this is Bella's having a dream or a premonition, or I don't know, does she have power? I don't know. Where she imagines herself as old and she's with Edward, who's still 38 years old. That's right. A 38-year-old 17-year-old, correct. And interestingly enough, and we talked a bit about this last week, Edward doesn't appear in a mirror in the dream.

I know that's not reflective of, like, vampire powers. Or reflective. Thank you. Which I do want to get into because there's more vampire lore that I want to touch upon. Uh-huh. But so, yeah, she's worried about getting old. Apologies again if we got this wrong last week.

He's 109 years old. Oh, I see. And, you know, she's like, maybe I shouldn't be dead and such an old man. Correct. That's right. Now, I had a thought about this. I've been thinking about this all week. So is it less weird?

My thinking is, potentially, is it that your brain development stops at the age you got turned into a vampire? So maybe he's been emotionally and mentally 17 for 100 years. Well, that's what I was thinking about because... Is that less creepy? Yeah, see, the thing is, I also looked into this. Right.

So in a lot of vampire lore, if you get bitten as a baby, you stay as a baby. If you get bitten as a child, you stay as a if you get bitten as a child you stay as a child right so presumably yes but maybe but see that's the thing like but also that means that if they were to get together and bella were to stay human then she would very quickly eclipse pun intended his mental and emotional state when she becomes like 30 and 40 and he's still a 17 year old but like a indestructible like super strong 17 year old. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. So her only option again is, is, is the crux of the plot of this movie is that she wants to be turned into a vampire, but that's like asking your weird 17 year old immortal boyfriend to like crack you really hard on the head once.

So you stay emotionally 17. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. That's weird as well. Yeah, that is weird as well. It's interesting that the movie isn't about that in general. There's no way of getting around the weirdness.

No, there really isn't. But luckily, though, Edward takes leave. He says, look, Carlisle is supposed to be 10 years older than he looks. So he's the dad, the dad vampire. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which I think is strange because if they all turned up at the town, like presumably a couple years prior, was he like, I'm 55? Like when he arrived?

Because wouldn't he just be like, I'm 30? I'm 30? We might be covering some of the same ground as the previous video, and we will be covering it again, I assume, in the next video. If we come back to it. Why do they all live in the same house? Why do they all pretend to be blood related? No, no, I think they're supposed to be adopted.

Right. Because some of them are dating. Most of them are dating. Why are they publicly dating? Like, you're doing everything you can to draw attention to yourself. Yeah. Why is that one guy wearing, like, he's going to high school, but he's wearing a shirt and tie and a denim trench coat?

What's going on with these people? Dress normal and act normal, you freaks. You freaks. So, yeah, Edward breaks up with Bella for some reason. We find out later it's because he wanted her to have a normal, happier life. I've written here, just very toxic, don't like it. And then he starts, she's got massive remorse, regret,

and she starts seeing him in visions. Oh, my God, regret. And she starts seeing him in visions. Oh, my God, yes. And I thought initially, oh, he's using like... Giant floating head Edward. Yeah. Or Hedwood, as I like to call him. Hedwood Cullen. Why is that not a meme?

Why has he not been a meme? Sometimes she's just driving a car and this is the big floating head keeps zooming past her. What the hell? I think it was a bike. But yeah, no, you're right. It's a great question. Like, I thought, was this a vampire power that he unlocked?

Did someone else in his family have that vampire power? Is it just a hallucination? I think it's an hallucination, right? Is that right? From the crack on the head that I mentioned earlier. Yeah, that's right. And speaking of, she promises to him, I won't be reckless.

I'm going to be cool. And he's like, you better. But she gets a taste for motorbikes and bad boys. Oh, that's right. She becomes the world's clumsyest adrenaline junkie, which I thought was fun. That's a fun character. It's like Hot Rod. Remember Hot Rod?

That's the perfect. Andy Samberg in Hot Rod. Yeah, absolutely. And that's, of course, where we get introduced to Jacob through the bikes. Obviously, he's part of the Cargo and Gin Short Wolf Boys, which we talked about. And initially, I'm like, yeah, I guess this is better. I guess this is, yeah.

You know, it is to be revealed that his motives aren't as pure and he is kind of capable of doing bad things and lying and all this sort of stuff. But at the same time, to me, everybody seems better than Edward Cullen. Yeah, right. She's got better chemistry with everybody. She can have a conversation with people in a way she can't have a conversation with this freak.

Like if you met that couple like at a party or something, you'd be like, why are they still going? What is this? Yeah, what's going on? Excuse me. Yeah. What is this? What is this with something, you'd be like, why are they still going? What is this? Yeah, what's going on? Yeah. Excuse me. Yeah. What is this?

What is this with you two? We don't like it. Yeah. We've all decided we don't like this. Why are you wearing a Czech flannel shirt and you're wearing a weird Edwardian velvet collar coat like a little Lord Fauntleroy? What's happening here?

You should hang out with that jean shorts guy. So, yeah, but at the same time, and there's but at the same time That's right get back in your sensible Volvo Get out of here He's got another sensible Volvo He does have a very sensible Volvo Yeah it's interesting though because he's still terrible Because he tells Edward on the phone That Bella is dead

Presumably killed herself Romeo and Juliet Etc and so forth Did you get it? I got it You got it is dead, presumably killed herself, Romeo and Juliet, etc. Yeah, or boy. Did you get it? I got it. You got it. I got it. You saw it, you got it. I saw the things in the movie, yeah. Yeah, good, okay.

I put them together with the other things in the movie. So that's not cool either, obviously, and that leaves Edward on a path of destruction, and by that I mean he draws on some charcoal abs and he steps into the sun, which we'll get back to. But I wanted to ask you specifically about the werewolves. Okay, go on. And the werewolf look. Because these are essentially big wolves, right?

They're very big wolves. Would you say they're not werewolfy enough? Yes. Or are you happy with, like, what's going on here? It's more like they transform into dire wolves. Let me tell you this. Okay. Love the colours.

Yep. Loved how they all had a different colour so you could tell them apart. Yeah. I mean, I couldn't tell who was who, but I just liked that they were different colours. But what I didn't like, maybe, I was going to say maybe. Jacob was the tan one. Yes, he was. Oh, beautiful tan.

Oh, my God. He should have matched his hair, though. Yeah, you're right. But then I guess they would have all been the same colour. Maybe it'll happen in subsequent movies. I don't think it will. But what I don't like about this is they have no man-wolf hybrid mode. Yes, exactly.

They're either men or big wolves. But they're never a, I want a big wolf man. Well, I think also technically they're not werewolves because they can change at any time. Oh, yeah. And that has a different name. This is like the time when we talked about Reign of Fire and people were like, technically they're not dragons, they're women's.

Get fucked. No one cares. Absolutely get fucked no one cares absolutely get fucked fuck off with your dragon lore that's right get fucked anyway get back in your dungeon

freak no I actually do like knowing those little things why don't you lich my balls it's a type of undead wizard I know things he knows things yeah

so yeah no I see I see what you mean because they're not werewolfy enough, and I think I'm looking for something very specific in a werewolf. I found this similar thing with Harry Potter, when they're like, Professor Lupin is like Slender Man werewolf. I'm like, no, thank you, I don't like this.

I do not like this. Anyways, we get more vampire lore. But I like, you know what, I like at the very least that they planned all the various shots in the movies, so at no point would any of the werewolves have to change back in human form. Jauntless. Pants, yeah. I totally noticed that.

Because at the end when Jacob runs away, you would run away. Because you're not wearing pants. That's right. And that's cool that he did that. Because he's a child. Because he's 16. That's true, yeah. And that's illegal.

Anyway, Victoria's back. She wants to kill Bella, et cetera, and so forth. I liked you as underwater. And that's illegal. Anyway, Victoria's back. She wants to kill Bella, et cetera, and so forth. I like Gears Underwater. I'm like, swimming underwater, Dracula? That's some spooky stuff. Good stuff. Absolutely. And the other thing is we get some other vampire lore.

And by that I mean we meet the real villains of the Twilight Saga, Italians. Mama mia. So it's the Volturi? Yes. And the thing about the Volturi is if somebody's sick of being alive, they go to them and they go, can you please rip my head off? James, picture this. James, picture this if you will.

Vampire v. Vampire. I'm watching. Drake meme. I'm thinking in my mind. Drake's against this. Stakes with a heart. Drake's for this. Just straight up ripping a man's head off.

Oh, cool. Yeah. Drake's also for this. Texting underage a man's head off. Oh, cool. Yeah. Drake's also for this. Texting underage girls. I know, right? Allegedly. Allegedly, I believe that. Whether or not that happened is true.

But it's... What am I doing? I don't know. I don't know. Talk about the 16-year-olds in George's Mall. So anyway, what I thought strange about that was... But anyway anyway i just love that that's the go-to he's just ripping ripping somebody's head off and it's weird because fx is the veil explores the surprising and fraught relationship between two women who play a deadly game of truth and lies

on the road from istanbul to paris and london one woman has a secret the other a Istanbul to Paris and London. One woman has a secret, the other a mission to reveal it before thousands of lives are lost. FX's The Veil, starring Elizabeth Moss, is now streaming on Disney+. Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever? Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Center for Addiction and Mental Health

to support life-saving progress in mental health care. From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So, who will you rise for?

Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca That's sunrisechallenge.ca Silver bullets? Nah. Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrise a couple of Volvos. Sensible, but powerful. We all know that. That's right, yeah. Yeah, so I don't know. I think that's interesting. Anyways, we're introduced to more vampire powers, of course. We've seen the one that sees the future. One, I think, does mood control or something. That's mentioned at the school. She's like, don't use your mood control.

I don't like my birthday. Yeah, she swallowed a mood ring. Oh, that'll do it. Well, there's another thing about that. Bella's absolutely like, please don't make a big deal about my birthday. Yeah. And then he's like, Edward's like, I'm telling my whole family they're getting your gifts. We're making a whole big thing about it. Rude.

I agree. Yeah. Something a very old man or a very young man would do. So I still don't know where we're at with him. Right, exactly. I don't like him though. I'll tell you that much. Also, her stepdad's like, here, have this unboxed digital camera.

Where'd he get it? I'm going to say asset forfeiture. Took it off a guy off the street i was like i'm having this you might want to uh wipe that memory card i haven't had a look at it but it's not going to be good anyway on your way drake allegedly anyways uh michael sheen can read memories if he touches you uh one does does straight up pain yep he's like bam you got pain one One of them, perfect espresso every time.

You're going to do a little art on it? Yeah. Well, that's good. And of course, Bella, it turns out, has the greatest power of all. She's immune to powers.

That's pretty cool. And that would make a hell of a vampire. Is she immune to having her head twisted off? I can't imagine so. It's interesting because it's not working.

I'm twisted so hard. I've twisted this 16 times. I've had three espressos. What's wrong? I feel like, though, there is a moment in the Italian room where there's a fight

between Edward and some other vampires. It also turns out he's not great hand-to-hand, is he? If I had 109 years, I'd know so much fucking Krav Maga. I was going to say you would learn i had 109 years i'd know so much fucking krav maga

everything you couldn't stop me mate but the action in that room is the speed is conveyed so much not bad not bad at all is it a different director it is yeah but also it's down to the budget actually i've got a note about that so katherine hardwick directed the first one as she turned down directing this film because of the release date set by Summit, which was exactly one year after the first film, would not allow her enough time to work on the script. And I think she also doesn't get enough credit for this franchise because she cast this.

Like, she got it kicked off and she didn't do another one. Yeah, right. So anyway, I think that's very interesting. So yeah, I didn't mind that action sequence, but I've got some questions For you about vampires And I guess to anybody Please So the idea is that

The vampires That eat animal blood Yes I thought Why don't they just have Drink human blood Right From a blood bank

Sure Which is like a thing in Remember that Ethan Hawke vampire movie Yeah it's in a lot of stuff I think Yeah exactly So yeah it's in Blade It's in a bunch of shit But it turns out that in this movie...

It's in The Vampire Diaries. That's where I remember it from. Is it really? You read The Vampire Diaries? No, but I watched Jenny Nicholson's video about The Vampire Diaries. Oh, The Vampire Diaries. Very good. So, a vampire's diet, though, is revealed by the colour of their eyes.

So, the Cullens only feast on animal blood, so they have topaz eyes. Oh. Whereas, like, the nomads... Michael Sheen. Exactly. Or the Vulturi haveass eyes. Oh. Whereas like the nomads. Michael Sheen. Exactly. Or the Vulturi have red eyes. Or what you could do, drink a bunch of like blood from a blood bank,

put contacts in. Or cool sunglasses. Or pull your eyes out. Or, I don't know, kill yourself, get your head pulled off. Here's a thought also. Some of these guys,

like I think one guy's called Jasper. First of all, they all have great names. Agreed. He goes to this school. Yep. And he's only recently become a vampire vegetarian. Yeah.

How is it not a bloodbath at the school every day? Yeah. Because teenagers are constantly tripping over and scraping their knees. Doing a skateboard trick. And having their periods. Apparently, Stephanie Meyer addressed that. Did she? And it's not the kind of blood that they're interested in, apparently.

Huh. Yeah. So thanks for all the information. Maya addressed that. Did she? And it's not the kind of blood that they're interested in, apparently. Huh. Yeah, so thanks for all the information. Thanks for all the information. Thank you. There we go. Anyways, there's a confrontation with Jacob at the end. And she says, Jacob, I choose Edward. You suck and he sucks.

And then he's like. But this one's more mysterious and he doesn't seem interested in me. So I like him more. Because that's how this works. So I like him more. Because that's how this works. That's how this works. So he's like, okay, I'm going to give you three years, which is also perfect because there's three more movies.

And then we can decide whether or you can decide whether or not you want to be a magical vampire person. And she has a vision of the future where she's beautiful and sparkling and running without tripping, which I'll just imagine. And I feel like, you know, the three years, that's when the abstinence shit in these movies, that's going to really kick off, do you know what I mean? Because that's like an underlying kind of theme of a lot of this, do you know what I mean?

They barely even do any kisses. They barely do enough kisses. That's what I think. Anyways, I wanted to ask you, though, so would you stick to, for the moment, and you are open to change this if we come back to these okay who do you choose between jacob and edward james are you asking if i'm team edward or team jacob i guess i am mason wow get it trending gosh that is a great

question bearing in mind that jacob in a later movie uh imprints on Bella and Edward's baby, and then they end up getting married. Oh, then team Edward forever. Because that's... Pretty ordinary? Yeah, by comparison, it's like one trillionth as creepy as the thing that you just said. Yeah, okay, cool. Excellent.

It's weird that Drake came up this episode, isn't it? Sure is. Drake. Drake. Anyways, it's time for New moon via i love it trivia that's pretty good thanks what do you got in the tank here okay so every song well i did the director thing every song that appears in this film and on the soundtrack is original and written specifically for the film very nice i agree uh so there's a movie that they go and see in this with a...

Face punch. Face punch. Tagline, let's do this. Now has Stephanie Meyer written a full face punch script? It's funny you should say that because in the book

the movie they go and see is Crosshairs but there was a movie called Crosshairs from 2008. What is that? I've never heard of that. Neither have I.

Should I look it up just now? You should look it up right now. We'll get some hard facts. Hard facts. Crosshairs. Should I look it up just now? You should look it up right now. We'll get some hard facts. Hard facts. Crosshairs. Isn't there a transformer called crosshairs? There's absolutely a transformer called crosshairs. Is there a GI joke called crosshairs?

Almost certainly. Interesting. I do have one more note here that we didn't get to. Oh, I'd love to see it. No, I'd love to see it. Show me the note. Okay. Oh, no.

You gave me the bird. Okay. Oh, no, you gave me the bird. That's right. It's interesting that initially it made no sense that vampires just get virgin airways. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a normal person just to go with the general public. But then I saw that Alice, she put a scarf on. I guess it's fine. That is fine.

Yeah. Don't you think? Yeah, just a daytime flight. Nobody notices. This sparkly lady put a scarf on. Put a scarf on. Yeah, I'm looking at this movie. Crosshairs.

Is anybody famous in it? When this is the IMDb, it's blank as hell. That's blank as hell. But it's like half an hour shorter than New Moon. Oh, man, we should have done that. Yeah, absolutely. I've got one more bit of trivia. Go on.

But this is a subsection of the New Moonvia section. Is it anything to do with Michael Sheen? No. Okay. But it's called New Bod Who Dis? Because, of course, Jacob, he bulked up for this. That's right. I don't know if you know this, but Michael...

Sheen? No. Okay. I'm just saying it was nice to see Michael Sheen. Also, we know he was in the other thing. Anyways. Was he? Yeah, he was a Lycan in that really blue series.

Was he? Underworld? Yeah, he was in one of them. really blue series. Was he? Underworld? Yeah, he was in one of them. Rise of the Lichens. I've seen Michael Sheen. You've seen him, you know him. Anyway, Michael Coppon was set to star, to take on the role of Jacob Black because Taylor Lautner was only 17 in 2009.

So I thought, he can't gain the 26 pounds of muscle required for the role. But it turns out he did. And this is how he did it, Mason. He ate thick, heavy food every two hours. He had three protein shakes a day. Wait, even at night? Yes. They woke him up, they prodded him away every two hours at night?

He had to carry a little baggie full of beef patties and raw almonds and sweet potatoes. Well, just carry it around. Yeah, because he's going to lift weights. Yeah, he's in Hollywood. So he's going around. So he had to consume 3,200 calories a day. And then people would point and be like,

what's in those bags? And the embarrassment. That's right. The embarrassment would get his heart going. It's meat and almonds, boy. You'll be sorry. You'll be sorry when I'm in Twilight New Moon. So he had to consume 3,200 calories a day just to maintain.

That's just to maintain. Whoa. Yeah, and also hit the gym five days a week, allowing for two days of rest because that is important. A lot of people might take for granted the rest days required when exercising. Your body needs time to heal. That's important. Now, also, does the body need HGH in this instance?

No, apparently not. Well, he was like 16 when he started working out, so I hope not. That would have messed his head up. Yeah, that would have missed his head. His head would have fallen off. Anyways. Oh, like a vampire's wood.

So it's box office time also. I'm ready. So this actually broke the record for the biggest one-day gross in the US with $72.7 million. I think the next one-day gross is when that thing happens with the baby and the dude falling in love with the baby.

I think that's a lifetime of grosses. That's a lot of gross, let me tell you. The former record holder was The Dark Knight, which is actually the movie that we should be talking about by now if we had have done Batman Begins last week. We're doing a trick on you, the viewer, and ourselves. Exactly.

So it's big box office time all the time for the Twilight saga. Should we come back next week? Wow. We'll find out. Three more. I'm talking to you, James. There's three more of these apparently.

No, no. No, no. There's like half a movie of plot left from what I can gather. It seems that way, doesn't it? Yeah, but there's three more movies. Yeah. So it's two books but one. Bearing in mind we have bailed on franchises in the past. Yep. So it's, yeah, it's two books, but one. Bearing in mind,

we have bailed on franchises in the past. Yep. We could bail on this. We could do Batman, a movie that everybody likes. It's true. We'll think about it. We'll have a think about it.

Anyways, if you do want to know. See how these do. Maybe they get a million views. If you do want to know what's going on next week, you can actually go to big sandwich.co. And if you do want to sign up, it's like our private Patreon.

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Do the thing that I think is most annoying for people. Yeah, you'll pretty much, the majority will determine what you'll do the opposite of out of spite. That's right. All right, thanks, everybody. Okay, grab that gem, you guys. We'll see you next week. Goodbye. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network.

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