The Worst Idea Of All Time - 10: A Buffet Of F**k

Episode Date: October 19, 2020

Emmanuelle is in Venice for most of this skin flick but then we're in India for the last bit for no reason. We've got maids getting whacked and George Lazenby getting fresh airplane towels. We've got dramatic church bell synths AND a butler who just wants the weekend off. But most importantly of all, we have an extended conversation between your two beloved hosts about which members of the animal kingdom are the most romantically alluring to them.HELP OUR PATREON: (patreon.com/TWIOAT)JOIN US ON FACEBOOK: (facebook.com/WorstIdeaOfAllTime)VISIT THE LITTLE EMPIRE PODCAST NETWORK: (littleempirepodcasts.com)MUSIC CREDIT: Tender Moonlight (facebook.com/TenderMoonlight)ART CREDIT: Tomas Cottle (sick-days.com) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

🎵 Hello everybody, welcome to the worst idea of all time again. It's probably not your first time here. I'm going purely by the numbers, by the probabilities and statistics. I reckon you've joined us before. We are watching all of the Emanuels. You've joined us before. We are watching all of the Emanuels. Right now, we're in the middle of the seven made-for-television French Emanuels that come after the canonical...

Is that the word, Guy? Yeah, why not? First eight that set us up. Sylvia Cristal and George Lazenby take us through a myriad stories through the skies while on a plane we hate it in terms of a device

but they've stuck with it nonetheless you say that I actually have come around these are some of the scenes I look forward to the most now and I don't know that they've produced 7 feature films in a year these are some of the scenes i look forward to the most now and i don't know that we've you know they've produced seven feature films in a year so i don't know that we're watching them exactly

sequentially as they were meant to be released we watched the first one first i think that's what's important but i think they're starting to have a bit of fun with the fact that they're on a plane i don't know if you noticed in the very opening scene tim but um some of the other passengers there's one man who's wearing a buttoned up shirt all the way to the top and um a sort of gray suit and they love just showing you what he's up to which is usually dozing or just sitting with his eyes open and then panning across to lazenby and christelle as they reminisce today there was another woman a different passenger who was sort of floating a hot towel in front of his face he was totally unfazed he waved the towel away when it was

offered to him um whereas george lazar me on the other hand can't get enough of these towels he even likes the way they smell i love wiping my face with these towels that's a line in this movie this is the thing is like they're they've got the most extraneous it's all seems to me to be slightly extraneous but there's something about the familiarity of being put on the plane um and sort of watching these two fumble their way through their lines that i'm uh i'm coming to enjoy also important to note that we are in dubs over subs territory right now, but all the Sylvia and George dialogue on the plane is in English, and we are hearing it as it was recorded between the two of us.

It's as crisp as a potato chip. Yep. That is exactly the right analogy for a bit of audio. Crisp like a fried spud. So we open in the air. We get the threat of a story from emmanuel and george laserby to his credit has got to be the most generous passenger to be sitting next to the most generous companion not even just on a plane a listener from whom we could all learn a lesson or two someone with the miraculous ability

to be interested in literally anything like the most insanely indulgent divergences from the main thrust of a story that's being told you could tell george lazenby about leaving the house to go and buy a pint of milk from the dairy and within that get distracted by all of the other times you've walked to various different dairies to buy milk and like every time you make an aside lazenby would lean closer to you while rubbing his elbow on his massive honking erection to say do tell me more yeah i love your stories you would be telling him about 17 people you met who have no consequence to the path of you getting the milk and he would still just be gagging for more details about this fucking story sorry i'm going to turn my phone on do not disturb guy i don't know if that's um oh you probably can't hear that but it's vibrating

up a storm is someone blowing up your phone yeah ben mcgougan wants to know um what kind of thing he needs to buy because he's doing a podcast or something. This is a guy who we both just lent recording equipment for about three months during a pandemic and didn't record a podcast. He recorded nothing. He sent it back. This is a man who is famous he's a very funny comedian famous

for simply refusing to wear shoes the guy fucking hates footwear i've seen him perform on multiple occasions in new zealand's only full-time comedy club the classic not wearing shoes which i think is illegal i'm pretty sure it's a health and safety violation i respect um the commitment to the bit if nothing else absolutely let me throw some names at you guy i i kind of don't even i can't even be bothered doing this story or the plot this time and i did listen man that sounds like a dodge actually me saying that it sounds like i didn't pay attention to the movie i fucking did quiz me i could answer any question i really i rewound bits because i could feel my mind drifting and i just made sure that i like crammed it all into my head because i i'm i'm getting into that

familiar worst idea to rain now of like i fucking hate this it sucks but but now it's like i've got to do it properly or else it's truly meaningless yeah that is actually a um a fantastic way of framing it is that if we aren't the coolest thing is if we're not paying attention to the material then i mean cheating ourselves that's right we're not wasting your time we're wasting our time you know mate it's not my lunch time I could do this all day I know I'm sorry sir

I don't think we need to recount the plot because it's very thinly laid out I would actually quickly like to shout out the producers and I'm not talking about your sort of top end money men you know the people who are funneling cash into this enterprise i'm talking about your fucking boots on the ground logistical

bloody call sheet writing you know line producers the people who are going out there and coordinating seven feature-length soft core pornography films being filmed in a calendar year across 52 different international locations in a 52-week year i mean this film is called emmanuel in venice so naturally its closing number is told from mumbai i believe that was fucking nuts man we get to the one hour and 14 minute mark of a movie that is one hour and 28 minutes of a film as you rightly point out titled emmanuel and venice and it's like well we better go to india why it wasn't even that important it was so funny how they presented it like it was this three that absolutely needed to be like tied up for the audience no one gives a shit of the three we've

seen this is the this was the most meandering and inconsequential story this was the one that i found um yeah i i didn't actually you know i watched, but I wasn't really abreast of the motives. I'm going to do it. I said I wasn't going to do it. I'm going to do it. Do it in a minute, okay? You're timing me? Yep, your time starts now. We've got a woman called Anais.

She's rich. She gets 100 marriage proposals a day, but she does not look at them. She whips her maid, Maria, for some reason. She's in love with John, and John is dead. They fuck with a rabbit's foot. The two, the maid and the rich lady, and there's synthy church organs.

It's very dramatic. Then we have the mother, who is confusingly six months older than the daughter by the looks of her. That's Penelope. Penelope had a partner who was either named John or Charlie. I've got to be confused.

30 seconds remaining. Died in 1972. Since then, she has not taken another man or worn the color white. Then we've got Jenkins. He's a butler. He wants the weekend off. We don't know why,

but I suspect someone in his family has died. Now, when Penelope gets a letter, she is overcome with joy and lets the butler know, Jenkins, that he can have the day off. But the letter turns out to be a proclamation that this person she loved is dead. Then we later find out that he isn't dead. That's your time.

Oh, fuck. Ten seconds. Yeah, go, go. Penelope's mother doesn't like John slash Charlie, so she's been intercepting all the mail and stopping it from getting to her. So he was assumed dead. He didn't die. She also sent letters back to John slash Charlie saying that Penelope wasn't interested.

So he moved to India to be a doctor for children, which we get to right at the end. Yeah. And you'll be pleased to hear there are lots of shots of the patients to which this, you know, reputable doctor tends no soft core pornography skin flick out of france in the year 1993 is complete without a stop at a children's hospital in india nothing says sex like a children's hospital i found myself furiously trying to come throughout the entirety of the film, and I quite simply couldn't, until, of course, the orgasmic crescendo

that involves a doctor at a children's hospital tending to his patients. My favorite line in the entire movie was, so Emmanuel takes Penelope, who's like crestfallen, and Emmanuel, for some reason, just knows everything. I guess she's the world's greatest detective in addition to being supernaturally good at sex and possessing a potion

that turns her into every woman if you had the ability to sort of metamorphosize into any other person's form there's no reason that you couldn't very well become the best spy in the but your heart does need to be pure.

Your heart needs to be pure. This was always James Bond's problem. Is that right? Is that where they lifted that line from? The Bond franchise? It's from the Bond franchise. A lot of Bond parallels in these Emmanuel movies. Not least of which, George Lazenby himself.

That's what Q says when she's showing him some sort of biro that if you put the top down it shoots a dart James, you must remember this pen will explode on the seventh click however only if you are pure of heart that's from Goldeneye great

great film even better game and that is rare that never happens so my favourite line was uh we get to the end of the movie where this guy is in a fucking doctor's coat at a doctor's office being a doctor tending to kids and when emmanuel says uh i will see you later doctor penelope says doctor come on you got this penelope you got on the plane you somehow managed international travel and you

couldn't put the pieces together that the guy is a doctor unbelievable yeah you did a great job there tim and let me tell you someone who recently watched the film and is professionally invested in finding the plot interesting it was no more enjoyable the much more expedient uh second time around it's just like i'm having a huge amount of trouble becoming aroused not that that's the goal but it is a curiosity you know we've watched enough now that i'm like well what am i looking to extract from these films um it's like it's the worst of both worlds where I really want to be invested in the characters

it's time for the boner inspector to make himself known boner inspector boner inspector boners please let's have a look at these rubber bands let me let me see if I can fit the finger between the rubber band and the flesh.

Pull down your dacks and cough, because I've got to check some rubber bands, boys. Ah, flaccid again, I see. Well, better luck next week. I could have got there. I reckon I could have got a little half chub, maybe, A little half chub, maybe, when Maria was having sex with... What was Penelope's daughter's name? Fucking... Someone.

Anais. They say it weird. They say, like, Anais or something. Not like we say it. We say it normal. We say it the correct way. Anais. The creators of the character, they say it. We say it normal. We say it the correct way. The creators of the character,

they say it fucked up. They say it all fucking weird and wrong. When those two were going at it, I think if there was a different soundtrack, maybe my body would have let me go there. Happy to hear it. Unfortunately unfortunately we had this um crazy dramatic synthy church organ soundtrack which they keep coming back to throughout the film which was wholly inappropriate it felt like a a scary little halloween flick

can i just say tim uh i've so i this is ancillary but also relevant. I have a new, I'm a tech guy now, and I've got one of these watches that are smart. Not like that fucking idiotic watch I was rolling around with that told me the time. Fuck that shit. This guy's bright as all hell. And I just got a notification. This is my second day wearing the watch. And it said in a sort of orange quite urgent font it said stress seems high at the moment take a minute to breathe

question mark oh no and what do you think that's about guy let's talk that out to be fair outside of watching this movie and recording this podcast i have had a sensationally relaxing 24 hours since buying and putting this watch on my wrist. And so I think I've probably set an unreasonably high expectation for relaxation and perhaps heart rate. as I become animated, frustrated, aroused, and excitable, it's probably saying, well, this is outside of the ordinary for the body that we're used to dealing with, so maybe this guy needs to take a step back and take his hands off the mic and just breathe.

So you've trained your smartwatch at your below baseline level of too chilled out and entertainer, and now when you go back to work, it's like, who's this guy yeah i don't know this guy and not deliberately i hasten to add i have no desire to trick my smartwatch although that would be a good a good sort of thing to research mate i think it's important i'm i'm big we need to keep fucking up the algorithm so it can't get too good at what

it's doing we've got to keep tricking it i thought i should be a movement and tv shows and a whole like cultural uh uh sort of era of us trying to fuck up the algorithm a little bit i don't disagree put your smart watch on a dog that'll fuck it up yeah i don't know what to think how smart are you then are you going to keep tabulating my data or tell me how stressed out this fucking dog is? Pretty stressed out, I imagine. It's got a watch on its port. Absolutely. Yeah, but the trick is it's not me.

It's the dog. So now your data is worthless. Nothing really reduces the idea of a smartwatch to more of a puddle than a watch trying to tell a dog to take a moment to breathe um it's a dog you stupid watch yeah you have to relinquish your title of smart watch when you get strapped to a dog and tell that to chill out it's fucking you just lost your degree mate you lost your degree from smart electronics polytechnic uh i'm gonna say it's in Connecticut But where you and I

The thing about us is that you and I We're smart We're clever, we're smart guys We are intelligent And we've got a huge body of evidence That we've built together Over the years that supports this claim Guy what's the smartest thing you know?

Tim, bat Did you say the bat? reports this claim. Guy, what's the smartest thing you know? Tim Bat. Did you say the bat? I said Tim Bat. Oh, that's very nice. And personally, the smartest thing I know is if you close the door, close the door behind you, unless it was already open just like

leave doors how they were unless unless obviously the doors doing the wrong thing in which case yeah correct the door so yeah and there's not a lot of room for wriggle room and that i'd actually quite like to dig a bit more into the door thing if we could so the first thing you said was uh uh shut the door shut the door when you come through it make sure that it's closed got nobody can see this but guy is on a video chat with me and he's he's just lost his marbles i'll give him a minute to follow his instructions and take a breath i'm right here i stand behind that claim so far so good shut the door yep shut it unless we don't yep there are circumstances in which the door should not be closed as detailed

by tim well you know if you if you go to your friend's house and i've got the front door open and you walk through the front door they're obviously sending out a statement to passers-by to people in the house there's a relaxed atmosphere it's probably warm outside leave the door open and enjoy the house as it was laid out for you on arrival if you arrive at your friend's house and the doors they say the door's unlocked but the door's closed open the door close the door behind you if you arrive at your friend's house and um the door's locked and the windows are all shut and locked and um you can see people in there but everything's locked and you knock on the door and they sort of ignore you um and you knock on some of the windows and you even you

call them up and you see them look at their phone and they see you're calling and they put the phone back in their pocket and you think that's weird um i would at that point i would break break into the house and start asking questions do you know that you've got a broken window did you know the front door was locked would you let this door open or close yeah because i've opened it yeah and but now i'm unclear because it was it wasn't open i had to open it maybe you want it open now maybe they do i mean it's a pretty fucking simple principle tim don't see a lot of room for confusion i'm i'm a smart guy. I'm on board. I understand it.

I get it. Because we're both two smart people talking about smart things. With over 300 hours of substantive and supporting documents that highlight only the finest caliber of decision making. Let me do some math hold on wish you fucking would allow me to quote george lazenby 1 million 80 000 seconds of podcasts 1 million 80 000 seconds of smartness thank you and I'd like to give a huge pat on the back and applause to anyone who is a sort of completionist and enough of a masochist

to have spent every single one of those seconds in our company. There must be people out there who have done that. Yeah, there's a few. They're out there. I mean, we have. We certainly have. I've been here the whole time.

Well, in a way, you haven't listened to an episode of our podcast ever. Yeah, but that's just on principle, isn't it? I mean... Yeah. If the hosts of the podcast aren't going to respect themselves, then why the fuck should I?

Huh. I guess you've got me there, man. Hey, what animal do you think is the most fuckable? Oh, great question. Immediate answer is a dolphin just because of... I was going to go with dolphin too. Just like sort of passing evidence and anecdotal sort of documents that that um i think duncan trussletters has a fantastic drunk history where he recounts uh the research of lsd in conjunction

with uh sexual relations to dolphins oh that is the perfect guy to deliver that story oh i haven't seen oh man that is so far up your alley he talks about how nasa was uh like funding this research and then they found out someone was jerking off the dolphins for pleasure david farrier told me about this experiment i'd never heard of it before they fucking flooded a whole house too and then their funding got cut midway through and then this person just had to like how's a dolphin and they developed a sexual relationship with it and then they were like this is this is not good they keep feeding the dolphin lsd that was the point right this they were doing heaps of lsd i think initially i can't remember i mean it's all covered in the

story but either they wanted to be able to speak dolphin or they wanted the dolphin to be able to speak English. Yes. Fuck, man. Acid gives you some ideas, doesn't it? Let's get this house, and do you know what I see for it? Let's seal it up, flood it, and put a dolphin in here for me to talk to and possibly fuck and we're gonna get nasa to pay for it and for a while they did

pretty good pretty good for them damn it feels good to be a gangster yeah man yeah so i'm with you on dolphins i'd say land-based uh probably the most sexual appealing animal has got to be a gangster. Yeah, man. Yeah, so I'm with you on dolphins. I'd say land-based. Probably the most sexually appealing animal has got to be a horse. Really? What? What do you mean really? Of course. They've got a great muscle definition.

They're just so sleek and beautiful. They're so big. What are you... A dolphin's pretty large. Yeah, but more to our scale. Like a horse is so big. It's, you know, it's... Dolphins would be as big as a horse.

No way, Jose. Nah. You don't reckon? Maybe some. Maybe you're top range dolphins. But the ordinary size of a horse would be far greater than that of a dolphin. I reckon you're getting spoiled by New Zealand's hectare dolphins. Hector's dolphins.

Nah, nah. Because I think they're littler I don't doubt that dolphins are big and there is something terrifying about having sex on a different the animal's terrain if you're having sex with a horse at least you know you're on land if you're having sex with a dolphin it's quite fearful

as Tim has said they're pretty big it's a pretty fearful thing. They have to hold your breath and sort of maintain sexual stimulation. I'm sure, you know, some compromise could be made. What's your land-based choice? He's thinking. He's having a really good think on this one. Can't get past kangaroos right now.

Really? Is it a cultural thing? Right. I'm thinking of some, there's some quite hot kangaroos online. I don't know if there was one that did the rounds on the internet recently, like a real muscular sort of tough guy kangaroo.

And because they're bipeds as well, like a real muscular sort of tough guy kangaroo. Yeah. And because they're bipeds as well, you know. Yeah, I hear you. There's a point of connection there, you know. We could warm each other up with observations about getting around on foot before eventually settling down to business. What about a sort of sky-based sexual partner? You got any thoughts on that?

Anything come to mind? Well, it's a similar problem to having sex with a water-based mammal. I don't want you to get too tied up in the logistics of the bird one, okay? I just want you to kind of get a vibe check on what is like a sexy bird. So think less about the intricacies of the physical relationship and more about what you're drawn to in an intimate way i follow the thinking uh i always take a good long look

at hawks and falcons when i see them in albatross yeah fuck they seem kind of dumb to me though yeah they might be but i know they're not there's this thing about like relative size that i notice i keep coming back to even though this is flight of fancy obviously you know as far as i know neither of us have any desire to genuinely have sex with these animals there is some tiny logical cog in my brain that will not let me get hyped up and horned up for anything that isn't roughly my equivalent size and an albatross's wingspan is obviously far greater than my arm span but just in terms of a match between man and bird yeah the weight should probably be about as you

know closest you're going to get in the bird kingdom unless you're fucking an emu or i was going to yeah that's true uh well if um actually i just thought if i was in a very dangerous mood and wanted to sort of engage in some risky behavior to keep things exciting fucking cassowary can you imagine oh wow yeah they are aggressive yeah i think they're the only bird that can kill a person, right? That was my understanding. They're the only one that can genuinely take you out quite comfortably. An ostrich could kill a person. Really?

Is it kind of a given? An ostrich can defend itself against a big cat with its powerful kicking legs. Oh, okay. If a kick is powerful enough to deter you know some sort of apex predator i know that hypothetically we are but you know we probably not not in the not in the like not in the animal kingdom yeah i i think i think an ostrich could kill a person no doubt in fact i'm sure if you punch that into google you'll probably come across some pretty grisly snuff films that might go some way to arousing you before there.

My initial one was owls, though. I think there's something quite... I think it's the kind of professorial nature of them. You know, they're very book smart. And we revere owls. You see, you're describing a bird as book smart. A cassowary is street smart which is also appealing but an owl is book smart what two animals into species would you like to see united in coitus and coital union building to a delightful crescendo pureination. I would like to see a bear, like a brown bear, and a jellyfish.

Because it's almost like, have you seen that video that's online? It comes up every now and then of a monkey just fucking a frog, which I think is dead. Oh, yeah. That video is funny, and then it's also very dark. Yeah, it is very dark. And it'd kind of be like that jellyfish are very weird i started with the jellyfish in my head i was just like what's gonna fuck this jellyfish because like jellyfish apparently aren't they're kind of like borderline

not a lot or they're not an animal because they're just a collection of cells they don't have any central nervous system which is very unusual does that mean that they don't have any central nervous system, which is very unusual. Does that mean that they don't know what's happening? Well, you know, we don't even really have an understanding of human consciousness. So I think it would be hubristic to assume we can understand others. But yeah, that's the understanding. I could outsmart a jellyfish. I reckon you could, man. They're essentially rubbish bags floating around in the ocean, but's the understanding. I could outsmart a jellyfish. I reckon you could, man.

They're essentially rubbish bags floating around in the ocean, but they eat things. Yeah, they probably serve an important ecological function. I mean, if we were to swap out all of the jellyfish with genuine rubbish bags, who knows? We're trying. We're giving it a good go. Apparently wasps we could do without, though. I researched this specifically

because i fucking hate them and i was like if you got rid of them would any with the with the kind of biosphere collapse and uh from my limited googling people were like nah we could actually get rid of wasps that'd be that'd be fine to go i've always yeah they are it's incredible isn't it i've always thought of them as the sort of third reich of the insect or bug world. Hard out. Bees are out here working so hard, literally doing everything for us. And then these sort of similar looking motherfuckers masquerading occasionally as bees. Until you know, as a child, I got stung by both. One time, a friend and I were throwing a rugby rugby ball back and forth and it went into a bush

and i went to pick it up and um i i wound up handling to get to the rugby ball a a fallen bees nest and i got um i got really stung whoa i've never heard this story. So like multiple Bs all up on your shit. They did not like, you know, fair enough. I was young. I was five or something. I was with Lewis Herbert. And here's a guy who I used to be very close friends with, haven't spoken to for a long time,

but ran into him a couple of years ago in Perth, had a beer, same dude. How's Lewis? Wasn't as chatty as I remembered, but he seemed like he was in good fetal. That's really good to hear. Good on you, Lewis. Can't imagine putting my hand in a fallen bee's nest.

Yeah, hindsight being what it is, I wouldn't do it again. Have you got anything more to say about emmanuel in venice the big apple of course or that's not what they call it in venice they would call it mamma mia that's a big apple you got it um nah man i think i kind of dedicated all mental resources to clocking what was like the plot and the characters and so there was nothing in the tank for any kind of uh uh in real time commentary that i was saving up i don't have a lot to say i will say this this director who has made all uh seven of these made for tv films man he loves the association of food and sex doesn't he

man i i feel about food the food selected and deployed as they have been i feel the same way about the food and sex as you do about uh food on mic that's a real no-no in my book it's a liability there's one point where um emmanuel and wait now hold on it's a liability there's one point where um emmanuel and wait now hold on emmanuel it's penelope and it's a not possessed penelope we should probably get to that um no wait is it penelope fuck i don't know one of them's having no it's maria no fuck i've lost it someone's having sex with this guy who's like a trust fund baby and uh he's like do you want to have a picnic she's like sure so they just go into the other room and start eating food eating food because that's what a picnic is and the woman who i can't

remember who it is just like slams a fucking lemon wedge in her mouth and then one in his and quite rightly he just kind of when she turns her head just takes it out in her mouth and then one in his and quite rightly he just kind of when she turns her head just takes it out of his mouth and grabs a napkin and like wipes his tongue on it because it's a fucking segment of lemon you crazy broad what are you trying to do what's so good is that even

in the sort of sexual fantasy the treatment of the lemon was very down to earth it wasn't like oh yeah yeah, this is working. Let's go along with it. It was like, we've made a mistake. Okay. I don't want to offend anyone.

I don't want to make a big deal out of this. And in porno, it's so funny to, you know, like you have the power of edit. I live to laugh actually. I love to laugh. What did you make? What was your favorite bit of the film did you have a shining light not really i like all the plane interstitials though i actually wrote

down a great george lazenby quote like all of the lines from him and sylvia chris christelle they they are i reckon they they shot it out in a day but let's not remember in the in the world of the film that um this plane this flight is happening in real time. And all of the caraways, there was one where Emmanuel talked about having to make tea for this woman because the woman didn't know how to make tea without her help. And George Lazenby said, it's a rude awakening when your kitchen in your own home feels like foreign territory. And I thought, like, like you know it's sort of it's very difficult to apply but it's a fucking good line it's a pretty good line you know i reckon

that's a very astute observation about the alienation of depending on other people all the time and uh something that i think the rich stuff you know the hyper rich would suffer from i what the fuck was going on with jenkins man that's what i want to know why did he because like i really thought they were going to pick that thread up of why the butler needed to take the weekend off and it looked like a tragedy to me and they just never explained what was happening uh i just think he's never had a day off in his life and he was like he just reached boiling point and then they realized uh you know a frustrated um member of the proletariat is not sexy stuff so they need to sex it up he was an

old dude too felt for him he's obviously led a um pretty humble life serving this family and he looked like he was well into his advanced years i can't imagine it would have been a good scene um because emmanuel possesses the door penelope's daughter uh anais and and has like a good time with her but um anais seems like a real fucking bitch yeah when emmanuel isn't around they make a real point of you of putting a big sign over her head saying hard work early on. She's being very rude. She says that Jenkins isn't allowed any time off and then she takes aside her, I don't know what we'd call the relationship,

maid, is it? Maid. They say maid a lot of times. Just for a different member of the staff having the audacity to ask for some time off, she just absolutely pastes her ass with a whip and presumably i meant to be turned on i know it wasn't even sexy it may be like the idea of sexy was different back in the day because we had less awareness of sort of power

dynamics and how that feeds into relationships but like is it sexy to see an employer just absolutely wailing on an employee I don't think so I don't think that's arousing Well apparently some of the time it is I know people have their kinks and shit But like these movies are made for a wholesale Broad audience

Is this a common thing I'm 13 years old It's 12.30am on a Friday night I've got the room to myself. I don't really care about the power dynamics. Man. Okay. Let me put this out there.

Should we be making pornography for young audiences? Because it's like the drug debate, right? People go, you can't make drugs legal. People will do drugs. And then I go, hey, wait make drugs legal people will do drugs and then i go hey wait a second people already do drugs so young people have access to all this pornography already right do we need to just accept that fact and make some way better sex positive stuff to like set some good early examples of how to pursue a healthy sexual relationship with a partner

it's not your worst idea like 14 year olds and i'll tell you i'll tell you who the guys are tim you're looking you're looking at it no way uh-uh nope big time not even for a second will i wear this hat this is a research project now and um you know my research tells me we're on to a winner not happening i think it's a good idea i think that that's ample discussion of emmanuel and venice and also you know various other hot button topics that um your your mates tim and guy aren't afraid to roll their sleeves up in a dress this is the thing about tim and guy will they discuss bestiality at length on an episode yes will they also float some ideas on trying to get more sex positive messages to the youth? Also yes.

It's a buffet. A buffet you'll want to have sex with because the director of these films loves associating food with fucking. It's a buffet. Oh fuck.