The Worst Idea Of All Time - 10: Samantha Jone's F*** Clinic

Episode Date: January 24, 2019

Look out because Guy be coming on you. Tim shows off his Wild Hogs knowledge and gloats about the fact that he's watched the film non-solo this time, Guy and Tim's wife are doing SOMETHING behind Timbo's back (possibly tasteful nudes and poetry) and then one of the boiz reveals a real twist for this ep. The beef between SJP and KC is explored and it's time for the Biggest idea of all: Samantha Jones' F*** Clinic.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We just have a good rhythm together, you know, he sort of feels me out, I feel him out, and we go for it. Hello and welcome to the Worst Idea of All Time, Season 4, Episode 10, Tim Batt is me. And I'm Guy Montgomery, and it's a beautiful autumn or fall evening here in Brooklyn, New York City, 5.44pm. Pleasure to be on the line with you, Tim. I'm drinking out of a pay-the-boys cup. We've a little sneak behind the curtain, guys. We're using a brand new thing to record today, so hopefully it doesn't sound like fucking ear pus.

I can only imagine the percentage of listeners who are as excited as you are by the new technology we're using and the minor but still noticeable fluctuations in audio quality that are pouring out into ears across the nation, the hemisphere,

the globe, the universe. Ears across America. That will be our new project. We're going to revisit the what was that thing across america that will be our new project we're going to revisit the uh what was that thing called was that hands across america that big project where everyone linked arms i think you're thinking of wild hogs the movie where uh four fellas get on some hogs and just drive them across america i mean it couldn't be more different at all really i think you misremember you know know, Wild Hogs. Yeah.

Remember the stars of Wild Hogs? Can you tell me? John Travolta, Tim Allen. Yeah. Oh, there's a wild card in there. Is it William H. Macy? Correct. Yes.

And there's, I think, a fourth guy on a bike, isn't there? Or is it those three? No, there's one more. Oh. No, I don't know. more oh no i don't know martin lawrence you a real four tentpole uh appeal at the cinema at the cineplex did you see it i did not i've never seen that i'm sorry for sniffing as well it's a disgusting thing to do on a microphone i've had a touch of laryngitis ah well do you know what's not disgusting is telling everyone that you've had a touch of laryngitis it's actually quite um becoming on you i i literally cannot even tell where the line of

sarcasm is with you anymore guy i don't know if we're spending too much time together or not enough but the line is blurry i've never thought of it like this before, but someone must have made a joke. It's quite becoming on you. Or I becoming on you. Do you know what's quite becoming on you? I becoming on you? Me. And then I come on you.

Yeah, it's a good gag. Yeah, put it together. It's very funny stuff. Someone tidy that up for me, please. Yeah, if we could get that into the writer's room, that would be wonderful. And then when it comes time to do the actual episode of the podcast podcast that's going to be a real humdinger of a line um hey guess what what i interrupted your wild hogs but have you seen it no i haven't seen wild hogs great then we'll

move forward i got to watch the movie with a human being by my side oh my god well can i tell you i actually had that revealed to me via email with said human being what why what a man can't email another man's wife anymore tim this is pc gone mad this is what really shits me about pc culture i can't send tasteful images to zoe anymore because she's your betrothed well guess what that's bullshit if i want to send semi-nudes to people who are married who are engaged to in any other sort of relationship i'm gonna do it they're good photos people need to see them you've genuinely caught me on the hop here valkomery i'm not sure what dastardly plan you've been cooking up communicating with my wife in the last 12 hours, but I respect it and I respect both of you.

And most importantly, I respect privacy. So I shan't investigate that at all. I respect that. And if you could please not bring it up with Zoe, that would mean a lot. I've been sworn to secrecy. Jesus. Very good. So anyway, I got to watch the movie with zoe which guy knows uh see ordinarily you get to act as audience surrogate because you don't have information so me revealing it to you you get to react in a way that the listeners would feel you know i i'm sick and tired of being pegged as the one who doesn't have information um i just don't understand how you had this information i told you zoe and i are in a regular and ongoing email correspondence uh which features but is not limited to semi-explicit images of me yes yeah i was gonna say it feels like a one-way

thing that transfer of images i'm gonna mute the microphone while i blow my nose but know what i'm doing guy i do i know exactly what you're doing we also exchange uh some of the amateur poetry we've both been working on but i guess you don't show curiosity in that because that's the feeling i get from reading the emails i would love to hear one of your poems please you know ways to make good gluten uh homemade pasta yeah here's my Tim. The gluten's where all the flavour is. Isn't pasta all gluten? Not the stuff that Zoe and I are making, but again, I suppose

you're not curious in that. You're probably not curious about the gluten-free haiku she wrote for you last week, are you? You literally talked over me asking you for a poem. That's how interested I was, but you were too on your high horse to notice. Yeah. Which is a poor miscommunication in a relationship, eh?

Gluten-free pasta. This stuff tastes almost like pasta, but not quite as good. There's a gluten-free haiku for you very good i loved it man snaps no worries um or to my envy you watching the movie with a person i really do how did zoe enjoy it how did you enjoy it zoe zoe actually um she was all right with it she enjoyed it i think at the closing credit she even said no that wasn't so. I think you guys are going to be okay. And I said, I don't think you understand the project. That's very supportive of her, though.

Very supportive. Did it change your viewing experience, I imagine, for the better? Oh, absolutely. By factors. It was so good. I mean, from here on in, because we're in the double digits now, I'm going to be resorting to alcohol. Oh, I see. Also, company. in because we're in the double digits now i'm going to be resorting to alcohol oh i see also

also company yeah alcohol is the people of drinks have you heard that before i've not but it makes some sense to me can i um share some some things that zoe had to say about the movie uh look at her stupid back and i i'd never noticed this, but Carrie, at the start, when you're going around apartment shopping, her and Big, she's got a bag that is in the shape of the Eiffel Tower. Have you ever seen that? I have not seen that, and I don't doubt that it's stupid. I actually look forward to looking out for it next week,

or next watch, whenever that is. that and i don't doubt that it's stupid i actually look forward to looking out for it next week or next watch whenever that is um but it does not surprise me that carrie would be carrying around uh something stupid the eiffel tower itself just with like a handle jammed in the top look before we continue i'd like to tell you something tim i'd love to hear it guy um i did uh something that i thought would be funny this week um and it wasn't uh did you watch it in spanish i watched the movie sex in the city 2 oh wow guy let's get into it uh i kind of just wanted to see you know with continuity how that movie stacked up whether or not it changed the viewing experience sure you know i wanted to draw lines between the characters you know the end points of their stories in the first film and where they're picked up in the second.

Yeah. And I've written here in my notes and this came not long after Dick Spurt showed up. Yeah. I've written this movie. Insane. This movie is fucking insane. This movie is fucking insane. This movie is fucking insane.

This movie is fucking insane. This movie is fucking insane. This movie is fucking insane. This movie is fucking insane. This movie is fucking insane. This movie is fucking insane. I prefer your haikus, be honest it just didn't really take me anywhere that one well i think it actually took you to a pretty accurate representation

of uh what it was like watching sex in the city too tim time has not been kind to that movie and um in terms of what as your relationship to it or society's? Both. But there was no, there was no, it was like the movie was taunting me at one point. You know, when that guy sings, it feels like the first time in karaoke. You'd think.

Oh yeah. Whenever I'm muted, by the way, I'm just coughing my lungs out. Sorry, but yes i remember that saying um it does not feel like the first time it's you you know i carry every one of my watches with me uh and it it didn't really give me much at all in the way of exposition i don't have a lot to report to you from it i mean if anything it just drove a further wedge in mine and carrie's relationship she is the most entitled person

everything is about her it's always wanting it her own way there's no consideration for anyone else in the world she makes big look sort of like a considerate and empathetic character. And Big is also a lunatic. In what way is he a lunatic? Well, first of all, the man has no computer in his office, as well you recall. He's just scheming ideas all the time in the hopes that one of them takes seed. And he pitches straight-faced his wife uh without any comprehension or understanding this

might not be an incredibly well-received idea that uh they spend you know two two days of every week apart so they can just do whatever the fuck they want yeah not a great move i mean within the context of the film like i think in broader logical terms it's not a great move. I mean, within the context of the film, I think in broader logical terms, it's not a great move, but I was pretty empathetic towards him wanting that when I was watching the movie. Carrie does not treat... She's like a petulant child.

Everything has to be her way or it's not on. Is she like that in the first movie? Sorry? Is she like that in the first movie? I mean, mate, you've seen it nine times. I'll tell you, on her performance last night, she's definitely a lot more of a sympathetic character in the first movie.

I don't need to tell you that, but she's far from perfect and far from my favorite. In fact, quite probably bottom of the heap of the four gals. Five if you count the city. Your current power rankings from one through four? I would love to. Samantha is occupying the penthouse uh that top spot okay she i think will be unmovable as the season goes on uh she's in an unassailable position she's a woman who knows what she wants

she's not afraid to go and get it uh she loves her friends she calls it how it is. I mean, what's not to love about this character? Larger than life, fun-loving. She loves to fuck. And both in a very literal and sort of a metaphysical sense. I'm going to put Miranda... Oh, I'm very interested to hear this, but as a quick aside, I'd like to say one element of

continuity between two movies i love the way that samantha and smith jared's relationship picks right back up like yes you know that breakup looks pretty um but it's a friendship in the second one right yeah yeah but so that's what i'm saying like the breakup in the first movie he takes it so well and it's all like yeah okay and then that that leads brilliantly into their friendship in the second movie where he's like i'm doing this movie it's premiering in new york i want you to be on the red carpet with me and uh it's a joy to watch and honestly um it's nice to see a sort of you know a logical progression or at least like a it feels like a tidy line between the two films in that

respect and it feels there's a lot of ways to um post break up with someone you know like what your relationship is after you break up with someone i'm a generally speaking big believer in the clean break sort of approach but what a wonderful adult way of treating another human being that you you part ways you go you know what this relationship isn't working we accept that we love each other but this ain't the thing and then you take some time out and then eventually you can be such good pals that you go and fly to the middle east to hang out with the other one um what what a cool quite hang out in the middle east he calls? What a cool... They don't quite hang out in the Middle East. He calls from the Middle East. He's shooting that movie poster,

which couldn't have been done on green screen. Oh, yeah. I'm sorry. You did right. Yes. Man, it's amazing what I can forget. I actually just had a conversation about this. Who was I talking to?

Someone. They were asking me some questions. Defeatingly. Is that a party? That was a very recent question. That about dude isn't it uh and they were like asking me a couple questions about grown-ups too and i was like yeah i think oh they said um oh fuck do you know i was talking to it was actually it was joseph moore of walkout boys fame i was having a beer with him just yesterday and he was like does david spade have is he one of the dads and grown-ups too does he have his own and i was like the fuck is his

and it took me a moment to remember that brayden is his spawn but he doesn't know it so he like is presented as the bachelor um but in fact he is one of the dads. That's right. It's a big and comical reveal. Well, I would say I'd imagine grown-ups too, I think your memory of Sex and the City 2, I would think of it as like a song, Tim, where if you tried consciously to think of the lyrics and the melody, you might be forcing your hand too hard and it won't come. But if it occurred to you naturally or it was on in the background,

I'd sing along to the chorus. I think you'd be surprised because I was sort of finishing a few lines along with some girls. Yeah, and I actually did also have a little egg sandwich as well. So your instincts are sound. Man, so you were watching Sex and the City 2 by yourself? Yeah, that's that's what i did this afternoon oh god you're breaking my heart i don't like that a meager a

lean two and a half hours and can i say uh the more i watch this movie the faster it goes by it is incredible how quickly two and a half hours can go by if you've seen the source material over 55 times? Now, Tim, before I drive myself any more insane by continuing to talk about the experience, could you please tell me who's living beneath Samantha on the second highest story of this apartment building that you are constructing? I think it is Charlotte. I think you mumbled the word miranda before i that that sentence and i know that piqued your interest i was actually i was talking to zoe last night i was saying guy really self-identifies as miranda and i'm not quite on board with it

like i don't i don't fully buy him being miranda um and what did zoe say hey what did zoe say about you yeah she said what do you think guy is and i said i think guy is um a samantha that's a very kind thing of you to say given what we know about your relationship to samantha at this point mate i i got a lot of time for guy montgomery i got a lot of time for samantha jones samantha jones it's a good name clinic samantha jones fuck clinic is where the third movie needs to go we know that there's been a spat between kim cattrall and sarah jessica parker but i think the way to bite the hook was a little bit of honey to get the flies if you follow me in fishing analogies you plebs uh then you'll know that sarah jessica parker needs to have a little restraint from having carrie so um you know, all-consuming of the storyline, as is usual in these productions,

and give a little screen time to Samantha Jones' Fuck Clinic, which is the subtitle of Sex and the City 3. Samantha gets a medical degree and starts a clinic. There's no doubting this concept has legs, Tim. And, you know, as through all the second movie, she is very concentrated on maintaining her libido through menopause. And by the end of the film, we're all very happy to see that it's still right up there. But before we go throwing money around for an entire feature, I think I'd like to see

this as a web series, maybe. I think you'd have a lot of fun, just client by client, just a little proof of concept before we go diving into another two and i mean i imagine that the third movie would have to be longer still sex in the city three open parenthesis hours close parenthesis open parenthesis samantha jones semicolon fuck clinic close the the second parenthesis yeah you've got it we're changing cinema you've seen 3d come and go fuck that it's time for the reign of the three hour movies again it'll be like ben hurd but for fucking and with it do you want to know what the tension is in the plot yeah big is funding it but without telling carrie it's his idea no he's the funder you know how he's a new york financier

with this is his latest investment and he hasn't told carrie because uh they've recently had a little bit of a falling out which mirrors their off-screen relationship so it's kind of got this meta-analysis of how kim and sar Sarah are sort of interacting with each other. And, yes? I can also imagine a world where, because Carrie taunts Samantha for being older in Sex and the City 2. She says, women who are not our age should not say women our age. You'll remember in the first film, of course, they toast to

Samantha turning 50 um so I think what we're looking at here is maybe a dip in the uh you know the sexual chemistry something that Carrie is notoriously evasive in talking about uh except through disgustingly dripping wet innuendo. We see a dip in their mutual sex drive. We see Big turn to Samantha, who for whatever reason has had a falling out with Carrie, as you've described. Maybe she helps re-motivate him to get his fuck back on with Carrie.

He says, well, that really made a difference. That's what motivates him to give her the money to fund the fuck clinic. And I love the idea of this sort of secret because on one hand, Carol would be so happy that the spark is back in their relationship. But on the other hand, the secret, you know, this dark cloud hangs over that rekindling of love and that Big feels he can never reveal to her the source of the rediscovered chemistry. It was the biggest idea of all, wasn't it?

Back your friend who you've had a falling out with. Fuck clinic. But it will also save your marriage. Can I say as well, because you referenced that moment where Carrie is being very invasive about precisely how much sex her and her husband having, or that husband to be. But she does say that big really colors within the lines. Zoe, when that bit came on, just said, oh. She read that line, and I was happy to get a female perspective on it. She read that line and i was happy to get a female perspective on it she read that line

exactly how we did now i hope i'm not breaking her confidence by sharing this quote but she said what is he just like jizzing everywhere or what i couldn't agree more and you know what also um gets me is i can't remember it's immediately after not long after that scene when he she goes home and big is playing inya or i don't know maybe brothers band he's left the he's he looks disheveled he's got the you know doors open to the balcony uh candles in there everywhere yeah and she goes home and it's just like it's on yeah um he passionately embraces her on the balcony and they hook up you know which is uh obviously one of the moments of chemistry that they'll be thinking of when they are you know trapped in their sexless marriage uh a few years down the line ahead of sex

in the city three open colon hours close colon open colon cement, Samantha Jones, semicolon, fuck clinic, close parenthesis. So much punctuation. But the thing of it is, that really, I find that disgusting, I think, because it's so hot on the heels of her being like, he really colors within the lines. And that's like, I guess, meant to be organic sexual energy because it sort of comes out of nowhere.

There's no occasion. There's no reason for them to be so horny she gets home he's obviously like we're gonna fuck nice tonight and she's all in we're gonna fuck nights tonight i like that that's a good pickup line tragically that line got left on the cutting room floor and he's got he's got candles everywhere which is a classy touch and then also when samantha we're not sorry uh miranda and steve have their which is such a steamy scene when they reunite and uh uh carrie goes and miranda never looked back sort of meant to be referring to her and steve putting the past behind them moving on with their marriage yeah there's a scene of them like you know and uh passionate

sort of almost there's a position i might have tried but i'm not entirely familiar with they were both on their knees and he's he's behind her and he's got his arm around her breasts i feel like it's sort of in the first third of the karma sutra like it's not a default position um for love but it's it looks like they're really working uh it looks like a good time It's not a default position for a lovemaker. It looks like they're really working. It looks like a good time, if I'm being completely honest. Yeah, absolutely. It's not crazy, but it's good for camera.

I thought it was a fucking great decision in terms of sexual positions to go for camera because they're both facing, like we get to see both of their faces. They're both presumably fully naked. They're both facing the light, facing the camera. So from that point of view, well done. You see both their faces, but they both have equal amounts of hand and control in that sexual position. If you've got Carrie saying,

Miranda, never look back again. Well, almost never. And cut to doggy style. You're like, well, I don't know. This feels sort of. It's communicating the wrong thing, isn't it? Yeah, exactly. But they're also surrounded by candles.

We've got to get a new name for that, really, don't we? I don't know that I've ever made love surrounded by candles i don't know that we got to get a new name for that really don't we i don't know that i've ever made love surrounded by candles oh guy you mean to tell me you have uh well i would like to think at least once at some point i mean i couldn't remember a conversation i had with joseph moore yesterday moments ago so i'm just chalking it up to i assume i have at some point if you if you have to think about it it means you haven't unless maybe you've had so much sex with candles it sort of faded into the recesses of your mind i've definitely had sex with can like candles on and in the room i guess my only quiver is what you mean by surrounded by just like enough that if someone came in, not necessarily during, but afterwards, if you both had to go and do something

and you forgot to blow out the candles, if someone came in and they were like, whoa, you know, three is probably not enough, but they came in and they were like, whoa, that's quite a lot of candles. What's the line? How many candles is enough candles for this? I feel like it's a half does. Yeah, i was thinking

eight so we'll call it seven cool although that would really do my head and having seven candles i feel like i'd want either an even number or five or multiples of five really yeah one thing that's really cool about me tim is i'm a psycho cool Cool. People love it. What are the candlesticks called in the Jewish faith? There's seven candles on that, I think.

Is it a menorah? No. Yeah, maybe. Fuck Ragnarok, aren't we? We are. It is a menorah. Yes, I got it. Nice one. Nice one, bro. Seven-lamp ancient Hebrew lampstand made of pure gold

and used in the portable sanctuary set up by Moses in the wilderness and later in the temple in Jerusalem. The more you know, everybody. That's not the theme of that. Then I fuck with candles on. You can't really have a candle on, can you? It's lit or it's off. No, it's lit or it's not lit.

You can't have a candle on. Yeah, I reckon that's the on-off. Those are the on-off functions of a candle. Guy, what were your power rankings of the ladies in sex? I mean, we're not even delving into this. You've revisited a subject that we had thought we had buried. And on a whim, you've grabbed a shovel and uncovered it. Absolutely.

Look, I'm not going to lie to you. There were moments of not happiness, but just like the sheer, you know, the gaudiness of this movie it's um was it fun like it's it's fun looking for parts of it were fun uh they're like the all the stuff around the big gay wedding is just utter madness and um even though i'm sure we unpacked it at the time like the everyone's collective obsession with the fact that the wedding is between two gay men is staggering. Like the jokes that they make,

which is specific to the wedding being gay, are overwhelming. And I think that the entire reason that Stanford and Anthony got married is like it's purely, it's motivated by behind the scenes reasoning, because I don't know if you remember this, but sex in the city too, there's a lot of speculation. Obviously they've got a very,

you know, excitable fan base who was sort of stalking out the set and everyone wants to know the plot beforehand for whatever reason, or maybe just the diehards do. And there was a day on set when samantha jones is cat or samantha jones was um in a wedding dress i weirdly remember this in the news and like a deliberate switch so that people thought that she was getting married and then the movie plays along for as long as they're at that uh flash shop where they're buying the rings. He's going, you know, in a matter of time is a funny thing.

Time isn't holding up. Time isn't after us. The same as it ever was, you know, and then they play all of Talking Heads once in a lifetime. And then they wind up inside of Bergdorf Goodman and they say, they're all like going, I can't believe this is happening. Hell just froze over. And the implication is that Samantha Jones is getting married. bergdorf goodman and they say uh they're all like going i can't believe this is happening hell just froze over and the implication is that samantha jones is getting married everyone's sort of giving

her coy looks as though to suggest holy shit it's happening everybody like and everyone at home and in the cinema are going oh my god it's happening i can see her starting a fuck clinic but getting married that's right and then uh they go her her best gay friend is marrying my best gay friend. And then she said, just when you think everyone's finished getting married, here come the gays. And then Samantha says, it's like musical chairs. The music stopped and they were the last two standing. Like none of these jokes or this plot line warrant inclusion.

I genuinely feel like the motivation was um the pr campaign of you know like getting bums on seats by creating deliberate and cynical open speculation that samantha jones is getting married and they're not even hanging it over the audience for long enough for it to be worthwhile literally burying the one interesting thread within the first 10 minutes of the movie and then making us sit through a seven hour wedding which was far and away the best scene in the movie this thing really comes out with a fucking hiss and a roar they front load that's for sure but yeah i mean what do you think about that theory because there's no like beyond that as soon as that that big gay wedding is over stanford and anthony do not feature in this film at all yeah i mean i'm just kind of

surprised at how surprised you are this outrage feels new it feels fresh it feels raw to me uh the emotions that you're displaying i don't want to invalidate them at all guy because you're my dude but you've seen this movie 56 times now i believe so i'm just a little staggered at how you can continue to be disappointed by something that's hit you in the face so many times before that's where old timbo is coming from uh it's not a healthy relationship tim and i guess it's just it's couched in the brand new light of stanford and anthony then bothering to have stanford and anthony kiss in the first movie yeah um just you know i understand that you need you know more uh secondary you know to fill out the world you

need these characters and whatnot but it's all like it here you're right you know what as i'm talking i'm realizing i'm getting worked up over something which well i feel like it's pretty much set in stone i think these movies aren't going to get recut I mean it seems redundant to say Guy but this is the nature of the project isn't it we're only one sixth the way in really or a fifth I guess I would say a fifth thanks

don't worry about it very well but then yeah so just while we're still talking about the second movie Big I never picked up on this sly little homophobic dig from Big where But then, yeah, so just while we're still talking about the second movie, Big, I never picked up on this sly little homophobic dig from Big where him and Carrie are dressing each other before the wedding and she does his bow tie or adjust it slightly and he says, don't make me look too good.

And then he goes, gay wedding. Yeah. As though that old flipping chunk of coal is going to be getting any, you know, any interest. I mean, he later does, but that's beside the point. Here's the thing. Excuse me. Hold on. I'm a muter.

Oh, yeah, that sounds like a pretty. Jesus Christ. I am dying. Situation going on there. I do apologize for that. If I've forgotten to edit that out, I do apologize profusely for what has happened in your air holes. Look, there's a part of me guy that goes,

okay, let me preface this with this. Recently, I think you and I both read this article with Sarah Jessica Parker being interviewed, and she was talking about the potential of a third movie or a continuation of a TV show. And she was like, look, you couldn't do it with the people who are in it now. It would look completely daft having these four rich white women trying to basically be bastions of social change. Like it just wouldn't work.

And I actually, when I read it, I was like, fucking SJP knows the score. And it made me reassess a little bit. When we take these digs at the things that don't hold up in the first and even the second movie, which is slightly more recent, but they're still, you know, they were made, what, 2006 and 2008 or something like that? I feel like it was 8 and 10, but they're not new. They're not new.

And a lot of, you know, know culturally a lot has changed since then and i don't want to forgive a bit of sly homophobia um i deplore homophobia but it was a slightly different time and uh those gals were doing some fucking good work on the tv series for the sisterhood. And so I just want to say. Have you seen the TV series? Yeah, of course. Yeah, I've seen it. Not like all of it. I haven't watched all of it.

But yeah, I caught quite a few episodes when it was, you know, the big HBO hit. Have you ever masturbated to the TV series? Never in my life have I masturbated to the TV series. Have you masturbated to the TV series? Actually, I'm not sure. I reckon I did once yeah when i was sick i used to be allowed to have um a tv in the bedroom and sometimes um uh you know just whatever schedule program on either tv two or three uh sex in the city would come on and it was a time when there was a real premium

on seeing a glimpse of breasts. Yeah. You know, I wasn't surrounded by these pornographic images that the teenagers seem to be bloody papering the walls with nowadays. And so, yeah, sure. I might have oiled up my entire body and I might have come. It's not good when you're sick. What is it?

Oiling your whole body up. It's like you're overheated or something. I didn't actually oil my whole body up. Look, I'm quite desperate to get away from this train of thought. So can I share some more thoughts that Zoe had when watching the movie? Before you do that, I just want you to quickly, you didn't finish your power rankings.

We got Samantha in the penthouse. That's true. Charlotte one floor down. This whole episode is dedicated to me interrupting myself trying to do the power rankings. Yeah, so I reckon this week we got Charlotte in the below penthouse.

I don't know what that's called. Penultimate level. Yeah, so I reckon this week we've got Charlotte in the below penthouse. I don't know what that's called, penultimate level. Yeah, nice. Then we've got Miranda under her. But what I was saying before when I kicked off with the word Miranda is that they are going to be swapping levels day to day. We're not even watching this week to week. It's a lot more frequent. Watch to watch, those two ladies are going to be swapping keys,

passing each other in the hall, moving a lot of furniture on a constant basis to the point where they're actually reducing their wardrobes, the number of clothes that they have, because they have to move so much and they need to get efficiency in that move. So we're going to be seeing a lot of movement with Miranda and Charlotte. see in that move so we're going to be seeing a lot of movement with uh miranda and charlotte

and carrie has been relegated relegated to if i if i had the ability she would be the superintendent of this building sleeping harry potter style under the stairs with uh the brooms and the mops oh man there's a problem i hear. That's where I feel like Carrie belongs right now. She's also in my doghouse. Yeah, she's earned it. She just has no – she just doesn't seem to help. Do you know what? She doesn't seem to help.

One of the nastiest moments in terms of her inability to empathize with her friends is, and to an extent, this is a bit of Samantha's own making, but Carrie makes out with Big, flips out, seeks advice from the girls who all sort of tell her to take it easy, have a moment. Samantha in particular is a huge advocate for sleeping on it for a night. And then Samantha goes on her date. Wait a minute.

Hold on, hold on, hold on. Did you say hooks up with Aiden? Yeah, Aiden's right. I might have said that. Yeah, okay, gotcha. I didn't know what movie you were talking about. So sweet. We're in Sex and the City 2.

She's hooked up with her ex-boyfriend. So Samantha goes on her date. Her and Dick Bott wind up falling around on the beach. Yes, boy. And they all go down to see her she's getting in trouble in that room and uh samantha's sort of trying to explain away we're saying we were just kissing and this is like a pretty big and scary moment for everyone involved really you know we don't know what the repercussions of this behavior are they've sort of painted the middle east as a place where they exist outside of cultural norms and apart from miranda or professor oak aren't really willing to you know learn or abide them and i

forgot about the professor kerry just said see kissing is something it's illegal yeah it's like yeah this is not the fucking time for point scoring yeah they're in the room with the authorities right now samantha is looking at a uh abu dhabi prison cell it's not the time it's not the time at all and then they go and sit outside and all she can talk about to charlotte who she also accused of being paranoid and projecting onto her. Like, remember that little snide remark she has on the lift on the way down? Anyway, look, I'm retreading old Ward. I'm just doing this to say we've both got Carrie in the same apartment this week. I'd probably swap Charlotte and Miranda's spots,

but otherwise you and I are seeing pretty much fucking eye to eye on this one. And now if I know. Go ahead, don't. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd love to hear Zoe's thoughts on the film. I was just going to say, don't don't yeah yeah i'd love to hear zoe's thoughts on the film i was just gonna say don't censor yourself my dude because i mean the whole nature of this podcast is that is us talking about this movie too much um this was really cute so zoe was we're watching the movie at night time and uh in bed and zoe was pretty sleepy and she just said i like charlotte's joy

which i thought was very cute that is nice um she also said this is a really inefficient way to pack uh during the montage of packing up carrie's old apartment which i think really speaks to my wife's practicality i hear that i like about it I always think about that when Miranda tells Steve that they've got to finish their meal quickly because she's obsessed with not having time for anything. Yeah. And then you just take three consecutive days off to go and play dress-ups.

Plus the Mexico trip after that. Yeah. Wait, before that, sorry. So they come back from Mexico and then they do the three-day packout no no it's insane they did the packout after oh sorry yes yeah yeah yeah yeah my bad um and then this is when i stopped writing stuff down uh a quote from zoe it's actually a really quick movie and then she looked at the timer which said 45 minutes in out of two hours,

30 minutes. And I can understand that, that mentality because it actually kicks along this movie. The pacing's not bad on it. And I think you probably would have really loved a bit of the Sex and the City 1 pacing for your watch this week, Guy. If I know, if I remember anything about Sex and the City 1 pacing for your watch this week, Guy. If I remember anything about Sex and the City 2, she's a slow old dog.

She's a slow burn. Look, I, though, would not be so brazen as your wonderful wife to accuse Sex and the City, the first movie, of moving along at a reasonable pace or clip. Yeah, she was mistaken, but you can understand where that feeling came from, you know? Yeah, but you can say the same all the way up to the end of the wedding in the second movie.

You're like, oh, wow, stuff's happening. It's the first scene pretty much. Yeah, but it drags. Well, no, it doesn't drag, but it goes on. Well, you've fucking done a judo move on me here. Relative to the rest of the movie stuff's happening you know you've got a lot like lisa minnelli's cameo is uh the the scale and sort of spectacle that really struck me this week i was like whoa it's lisa minnelli doing beyonce the idea of that existing because

previously i'd watched i just think of it as a gimmick for the movie but today i thought of it as a gimmick within the wedding and i was like thought of it as a gimmick within the wedding. And I was like, if I went to a wedding and that was like a wedding surprise that was sprung on me, I would be fucking blown away. I've never thought about it in those terms, but you're right. If they made the kind of lead up to it a little more believable or something, if I had really entered into the world and then I'm suddenly at Stanford and Anthony's wedding

and then suddenly Liza at stanford and anthony's wedding and then suddenly lisa minnelli's there yeah i'd be like holy shit this is the best wedding that's ever happened this is incredible these guys are gone i actually think they do themselves a disservice with the um uh how do you say like the decor the decorating of the whole thing because the whole thing is so fantasy dream like dripping in wealth and that kind of snow white what are those crystals called swarovski yes something like that you know the swans on there yeah yeah those it's kind of it's like that it's like very it's too much it's too big it's too shiny it's it's too much it kind of takes you out of the reality of it but if they'd lean a bit more into

like maybe if it was a little more traditional wedding in a church or something and then Liza Minnelli's there like up with the church choir that'd be fucking shit hot I'd be well into that I can see what you're saying here uh I'm wary that we're gonna run out of time tim so i'd just like to quickly check in on your shining light this week shining light shining by the light wrapped up like a deuce it was definitely having another person watching the film with me but within the world of the movie um hmm oh do you know i really enjoyed it was the uh the waitress who comes to serve charlotte when she's in the same cafe with big not the one who seats her he says you look glowing or beautiful i think she says glowing uh when she asks how pregnant she is but the one who seats her. He says, you look glowing or beautiful. I think she says glowing when she asks how pregnant she is.

But the one who comes to take your order after that. And I think she's been in some things. She's got a familiar face. But I like what she did with the place. Who was it? Sorry, can you? So, you know, she's there. And those people get out of the way.

So she has a vantage point to see Big sitting there. charlotte starts freaking out because she doesn't want to be in the same room with big after she's jilted carry yeah so she makes a big ruckus she so the waitress comes um to take your order and she says can i get you something to get started or something to that effect and charlotte says no no i can't be here i've got to get out of here help me move this table that uh that waitress i liked this week okay she's blonde she's short she's got huge eyes she's cool got a good energy i love that um do you remember who i'm talking about yeah yeah i do i do remember quite i would think'd like, you know, if that was my server, I'd be happy. I always try to hype with servers though.

Yeah. I think because I used to... It's where you go to make friends. Yeah, I used to work as one. And so I think I overcompensate for being the customer and make their life hell on earth. My shining light was, you know, I fell on earth. My shining light was, you know,

it was actually really fun to see Runkle work his magic in ADR once more. You'll remember Charlotte is paranoid about Erin, the nanny, and to feed her paranoia at one point, she goes to check on, I think, Rose's having a bath, and Runkle and Aaron are bathing her. And you don't see him saying it, but you hear him saying to Rose, because she's playing with stuff in the bath. He goes, what does this do here? What is this?

What is that going to do? And then at that point, he takes out the sort of shower head, which is in the bath, and it sprays all over Aaron's top. And he goes, what's that going to do? And it really fucking got me going i paid special attention and really pricked my ears up to here there's nothing like an illegal cubed cigar after dinner uh on this watch as well and i i really enjoyed that bit of ADR from Runkle as well. Runkle's undefeatable. He is indefatigable.

He is the greatest. He's living on a rooftop garden above Samantha. He is. He is in a hot air balloon looking down on all of them. I hear that. I love Runkle. And the reason why Runkle wins is because Runkle loves life. And I think that's an important lesson for all of them. I hear that. I love Runkle. And the reason why Runkle wins is because Runkle loves life.

And I think that's an important lesson for all of us. What a beautiful note to end on. Tim, it has been hell on earth the last three hours of my life, but I couldn't imagine anyone I'd rather spend it with than you via Remote Connect.

Hey, let's do it all again in, I'm estimating, 36 hours or so sounds bad to me bye we just have a good rhythm together you know he sort of feels me out i feel him out and we go for it