The Worst Idea Of All Time - 11: Stern Dad

Episode Date: January 28, 2019

Tim's no longer good with this movie (or his health) but maybe he's getting a dog? Guy's really pulling his socks up with regards to the project and will NOT entertain the notion of a great glass elevator-style situation in Big and Carrie’s apartment building. Big recklessly throws amount real estate money without a builders report and M Night Shyamalan has some big ideas. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

we just have a good rhythm together you know he sort of feels me out i feel him out and we go for it well i hope i hope this i hope this is smooth sailing hi welcome it's episode 11 guy is here i miss him so much i miss you too tim you know at the start of this uh because we weren't really in regular contact we wouldn't talk a lot i actually didn't mind you know us altering the central premise um where we'd have to watch it so far apart because it was still it still meant that you know i had to traipse across two and a half hours worth of movie but on the other side of that desert was a wonderful conversation with my friend tim and this is not a slight on you or our friendship i don't think but it's you know the the reward for walking across that two and a half hours of hot coals or whatever you want to call it now yeah yeah it's uh it's not not worth it but it's not as tantalizing uh we are in the depths

of a real pavlov's dog situation here tim uh whereby if i get a message from you i uh don't want to read it ah it makes me sad to hear yeah and i think oh why have i got to be the stern dad you know you don't have to be the i mean how do you feel when you get a message from me good yeah yes my boy Good. Yeah? You said that tentatively. No, I wasn't tentative at all. Do you know how you said it? Go on. Good. It wasn't like good.

That's me being tired because, confession to make, I couldn't even get through the movie this time. What? I watched an hour last night, and I was there for that, and it was hell. It was so bad. It is hell. I couldn't stand it. I couldn't stand it.

There was a real stinker in my bed. It was like someone had taken a shit where I sleep. I love this. You know, interestingly,'m like so happy to hear of how much you're struggling because i i am misery loves company dude it's good to hear when other people are down and you're in the exam and you're trying to figure it out and you're going oh this is fuck i hate this this is hard this stinks and you look over and it looks like all your mates are doing great and concentrating and doing well and then you get out of the exam and you go how do you find that and they go that was awful yeah that's the best this is what it is because i was sitting here watching

this thinking i'll be your fuck tim's probably got you know zoe and one no so anyway so you we we have introduced another component to the marriage, to the marital bed. That's right. Okay, very good. Well, no, nothing could be further from the truth. I actually felt like I was in the dead zone, not only with Zoe, but just by myself. I woke up this morning to finish off, knock the bastard off, as our own Sir Edmund Hillary would say, knock the bastard off as our own siri mentality would say referring to mount everest our tallest peak above sea level which he climbed before anyone else not saying we're the same but just

saying you know both kiwis both doing a hard thing and i was watching it and my eyes were getting heavier and i was like i'm wearing headphones that are like in-ear. They're so close to my brain. This still counts as a watch if I just shut my eyes for just a scene and I can kind of report back on what it's like to treat the movie as sort of a concept album or maybe a really esoteric podcast. Yeah. And then before you know it, I open my eyes. The movie has ended.

I've been asleep for upwards of 40 minutes. My brain just shut the thing down. It was incredible. We can't. We can't keep doing this during the morning. It's not a way to live. 40 minutes owing, which I love. I love having that over you.

Fuck. Hey, but can't you chalk it up too? And I know that I didn't quite interpret it so kindly when you did it, but could you not chalk it up to it is a type of watching the film? No. Because when I'm asleep, because I still have my headphones in, it was like had access to a part of my brain that media usually doesn't. It was a real subconscious.

Do you know why it doesn't count? Why? Because while I think subconsciously that will crop up somewhere down the line and you'll be in quite a deep mental battle with yourself and you won't quite be able to place why, for right now, an immediate response to that, that is a healthier and happier way to consume the movie and uh while you didn't you don't like anything and i can hear the

powerful distaste in your voice i think given another 40 minutes of content you'd be you know spitting even more venom and it's funny you should bring this up to him because i was actually thinking i so i watched two hours of the movie um and then got just like so restless and angry and like yeah sort of almost turning it on myself i uh so i went was like, you know what? I got time. I paused it. I went out for a run. I came home. I meditated. And then, like, so I did everything I could to center myself and be like, you know what?

This is fine. Half an hour took about two minutes for me to feel exactly as agitated as I had, like, an hour or whatever, an hour and a half, two hours before. And, like, just immediately undid, you know, I was putting the hard yards in on the self-love there. And do you know what occurred to me? What's that? I know that this isn't, you know,

we're doing our best given circumstance and time zones and whatnot. But if we really want to feel this, if we really want to experience this, from here forth, the movie must be consumed as it was made in one hit. Oh. Fuck, man. You really... I think this disproportionately affects me.

I feel like I'm in a court case now. I feel like the punishment does a court case now i feel like that the punishment does not befit it's not a two parties i was thinking this i was going to broach this topic independent from your behavior this morning so i don't want you to conflate separate circumstances look let's get into the nuts and bolts of this due to the fact that you're in new york city the fifth girl you're inside of her she's operating at a different time zone um the only time really that can accommodate both of us because new zealand's a wacky a wacky loose uh son of a gun it doesn't look at a lot of clocks loves the casino loves to just get lost in. The only bit that coincides for being waking hours really

are between the hours of about 9 a.m. to what, like noon or 1 p.m. here. And for you, that's from, I think, 5 p.m. to whatever, add the appropriate number of hours. So if that's going to be the way, guy, we're going to, every now and then, we're going to be the way guy we're going to every now and then we're going to be cutting into more of your nights because i'm not going to get up at like 6 a.m to watch this movie on an ongoing basis hey look that's i don't mind that at all and for what it's worth you know you could also do i i you know you might have to sacrifice the ends of some of your nights as well

we're fine which is also fine but i just think in the spirits of truly putting ourselves through the sex in the city mincer um and coming out as bolognese or whatever whatever it is that we want we're looking to do to ourselves here i think yeah to can i to experience this in yeah three dimensions we need to stop giving ourselves these little bits of wriggle room i mean it was telling to be honest that it had only an impact for as long as i was not watching the movie and it could be undone so quickly but i just think let me say what's in my heart i am proud of you i feel incredibly emotional this morning in fact i i messaged you moments ago saying i miss you and you replied save it yeah which i thought was uh particularly callous but then you did you walked it back afterwards and told me that you missed me too. I didn't walk it back.

I didn't change my desire for you to save the expression. You softened it. You softened it. You said save it for the conversation, and then you said I missed you too a couple of minutes after that. Did you think that was going to be a response when you'd opened yourself up emotionally? This is not the terminal of what I'm trying to say here.

What it is, is I'm so proud of you because maybe this is a false memory. I don't know. Maybe this is a narrative I've just spun for myself that's incorrect. I don't know. But I'm thinking back to the first season. I'm thinking back a little bit to the second season and I remember a wiggly little worm guy Montgomery who played by the rules on the whole but

would test the boundaries and bad cop Tim having to lay down the law penalising little watchers when little sleepy guy fell asleep and oh how the tables have turned now it's Timbo with his weary little head turned now it's now it's timbo with his weary little head

um and now it's guy going you know what the integrity of this project demands well that we punish ourselves further to what we are and i couldn't be more proud of you you know i think if you look at circumstance surrounding the timing you know you have settled into um not the next phase of your life but you know you've you've leveled up in a sense you're a happily married man now you have a beautiful wife and a beautiful life um i played with a dog all day yesterday and it was sublime are you guys gonna get a dog that is such a thing i wish oh man you guys are totally – Not as much as Zoe does. You're going to get a dog.

You were talking about getting a dog before I even left, I think. It's totally in the works. It's just because Zoe wants a dog so badly, and I just want Zoe to be happy. But if we get a dog, it severely limits where we can live. I have a feeling – Where can't you live with a dog? Any sort of rental property that says no dogs, which is most of them. Oh, no, no.

That's just a suggestion. That's not a rule. Is it? Yeah, if you look closely, they've all got tiny little question marks after them. Oh, shoot. No dogs? Cool. Oh, that's good okay sweet maybe i'll go get one today well that's a little too fast maybe but oh sorry about that um while you i'm gonna

face my life you've settled into a sort of an elderly statesman role you know you've i look to you as someone who has more answers than i previously might have. I have relocated to the Big Apple, the City of Angels itself, James and the Giant Peach, the city that never sleeps, New York, New York. I'm awake. I'm alive. I'm active. I'm watching movies. And so I feel like it's quite a natural transition where you you know, you'll watch, I mean, some of this media

you're consuming in your marital bed, you're sullying the most sacred of all spaces by dragging four people, the gals is who I'm talking about, you know, all with their own varying degrees of emotional baggage. There's five. There's five gals. The character of New York City. All that to say, I feel like we've straightened that out. So we will only be consuming the movie in its entirety from here forth.

Yeah. I want to poke around what you were suggesting, though, because you're kind of describing me as being in my twilight years almost. No, no, no, no, no. I don't think you're in your twilight years. Not at all. I just think, you know, you're probably drinking a lot more warm milk

than you were previously. Not wrong about that. No, all I was sort of saying is that I understand, you know... Things have changed. Yeah, yeah, things have changed. And there's a reason I think that I've sort of taken the mantle of being slightly more. I see.

The circumstance surrounding my life presently means that, you know, that's a smaller sacrifice. So it's one that I'm more likely to volunteer and make for us than the inverse. And I don't know that that was the case beforehand, but I sort sort of you i sort of treated you like the uh in terms of commitment you'd get these real wild looks in your eyes and i sort of thought of you as the mad scientist and me as your capable assistant

you know how often does it happen how often does it happen that you find a friend or a creative partner where you're able to dip in and out of that role you know where you can change who wears that mantle not often we're special guy you and i timbo and guy guy forever for 100 years you said it pal well i can't help but notice that we've been prattling on for nigh on you know 15 minutes and have not spoken one word about... Long may that rain. Don't say the movie. I'm not ready yet. I'm not ready yet.

Can we get into that in, like, give me another five minutes? We'll get into it at the 20-minute mark. Is that okay? The first thing I'd like to talk about, and I'm just going to gloss over my observation of a very crusty doorman who works in the apartment. Oh, wait. Are you in the movie?

Big and Carrie are checking out. Come on, man. Just give me five. The apartment that they first arrive at, lucky number 33, their agent tells them she tried to warn them not to come because it's so bad, and it is admittedly a bad- apartment they they leave the apartment and they're walking out and as as they're walking carrie says to the the estate agent um she says let me know let us know if there's anything else that comes up uh we're very interested in this building and they press the button on the lift

obviously they've traveled up from the ground floor to get to where they are so they press the button on the lift. Obviously, they've traveled up from the ground floor to get to where they are. So they press the button on the lift. Now, this button has to be the down button because that's the only direction, logically, these people could be traveling after inspecting and disapproving of an apartment that is above the ground floor. We see a view out of a window. We know this cannot be in the basement.

The letter says, well, there's one that's just opened up that's not even on the market yet would you like to see that they all say yeah obviously and he presses ph at the top of the buttons the button stack and the lift presumably representing representing the word penthouse. And the lift then, I mean, lifts are binary, Tim. They follow the first instruction every time. This looks like a kind of old lift. So this lift, while that might have all this, it was the Great Glass Elevator from Roald Dahlwind. We know it's not the Great Glass Elevator because we see that it's not the Great Glass Elevator from Roald Dahlwind. We know it's not the Great Glass Elevator

because we see that it's not the Great Glass Elevator. You've got me there. Please continue. If it was the Great Glass Elevator, do you not think that would consume... Please continue. I'm embarrassed. I'm sorry I brought it up.

It's stupid. The film would be sort of built around the fact Carrie, a writer herself, would say, you know, this is going to sound crazy, everybody, but I can't help but shake the feeling that we have wandered into Roald Dahl's great glass elevator from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I'm sorry.

I take it back. Pretend like I never even said it. So we're in there. We're going to the penthouse. Well, no, but so they get in. They order the lift to take them down. By the time they get into the lift circumstances change and they want to go straight to the penthouse he pushes penthouse and then the next scene it's a cut we don't actually get to see what transpires in the lift but they arrive at the penthouse there's a good scene on

the cutting room floor here probably probably two to five minutes. Fucking hell. We've been talking for two minutes. That's where your landing point was? They go down to the ground floor. They go, well, I don't lift to norming. Jesus fucking Christ. Then they push the penthouse button again.

Maybe on the way down, someone who already lives in the building gets into the lift and they go, huh, hi. And they go, yeah, hi. And they exchange pleasantries, small talk talk they get down to the ground floor and then they've got to ride all the way back up the lift to the top floor i mean i know that this fucking i am worried i am worried about this season if this is episode 11 i don't know that fucking worried this ain't good content is wanting for length but a bit of variety you know i'd love to see i'd love to see the run into the house and get my whiskey i want to run into my house and get

my bottle of whiskey right now just as a safety blanket what's your beef that was who cares man fuck jesus it took such a long time to get there there's it's a lift yeah we don't see all the left would you rather there be another fucking four minutes of this movie that we have to see every every episode look i'm just looking i'm looking for opportunity i'm looking for places where we can get a little bit more exposition maybe get to empathize and relate to the characters. You don't see the characters doing anything that's particularly banal, boring, day-to-day. They're unrelatable.

These are not people who I associate with. I want to see them on the left making small talk with someone that they want something from but they can't be bothered talking to. Okay. What do they want from the person? they can't be bothered talking to. Okay. What do they want from the person? They want to rent the fucking apartment. Oh, sorry. To the letting agent.

I got you. That was a big cough, but I'm getting better at muting the microphone now. Well, Guy, while we're in that zone in the movie, I must concede a point to you. A couple of episodes ago, you brought up the fact that the letting agent for the apartment, because there's two realtors that we deal with in this scene. There's one presumably for this building,

and then one representing Big and Carrie's interests. And the one who's kind of there for the building representing, that's a funny concept isn't it the rooms get their own realtor and the people they get a realtor too yeah but after citizens united corporations uh people and rooms get realtors so that's kind of a fun concept so the rooms realtor uh who takes them up to the penthouse unexpectedly is like, I've got this other apartment that I'm looking after because I've got multiple rooms that I look after. So when he says your wife has quite a sense of humor, you can actually see based on how they frame the shot that he is standing right next to Carrie.

So I pulled you up a couple episodes ago because you said, why the fuck is he directing that at big and i suggested that it was probably just the staging of where everyone was standing in that scene like he was close to big so he said it to the closest person next to him to try and gin up some good favor from the couple but no he's standing right next to to carrie so you were right man hey you You should have just said, hey, you're funny. You're a funny gal. Thanks for that. And I'd like to record that all real tours, even if you're listening along right now and you think,

and even if you're listening along and you agree with me that this movie could use a decent elevator scene, if you're a real tour, I'm sorry to say, there's a pretty high chance that you're a real piece of shit. Oh, wee. Guy. Yeah? a pretty high chance you're a real piece of shit oh wait guy yeah man you are not good what i just muted is i basically just had an asthma attack while you were saying that as well you are you're downtrodden mentally no it's good mentally and your health this is how i at a low ebb.

This is how I heal. It doesn't happen very often, but I'll get a cold, like maybe once or twice a year, like a pretty good one, and it'll fuck me up for only like two days, two or three days, because I'm smart about it. And I don't work in an office, which I think really helps. So I can just hammer the the hot lemon honey and ginger drinks like i will drink fucking three to four liters of the stuff a day really kick that virus out of

this as quickly as possible but then i end up getting asthma for like three weeks after i get sick it is unavoidable and it's very annoying and to be honest i need to just grow up and get an inhaler because i haven't had one since i was a kid yeah i'd be inclined to agree with you it's very annoying. And to be honest, I need to just grow up and get an inhaler because I haven't had one since I was a kid. Yeah, I'd be inclined to agree with you. It's interesting. You've got these sort of – you don't speak always in totals, but I feel like you're someone who has quite rigid ideas or ideals about how your body and your health works.

You make sort of sweeping generalizations about it. And I don't always agree with the science behind them. And you are married to a doctor. Yeah. And yet, you know. What bits do you take issue with out of that? Nothing. They go unchecked.

I mean, I don't have the qualifications to pull you up on them. What does Zoe think about your theories? What, that I get asthma after I get sick well you get sick what do you say two or three times a year yeah never more nevertheless probably like probably one to i'd say one to two like a proper virus yeah i don't get a lot of stuff wrong with me like apart from the knee which is a recent thing because as we've discussed them in the twilight of my years now i don't really i i'm incredibly thankful for my good health it's a hell of a thing it won't last forever but i'm having a rocking time with this bod so far i know god has graced me with you know when you're sick and you think to yourself or if you've injured yourself

and you just sit there and you think i will never take for granted being at full health again. And then it happens. I squandered it before. Yeah, it happens. And then for like a day, you're like, oh, my God, I feel amazing. And then the next day, you're like, ugh. You're just back to being regular old you in your high-functioning body. What pieces of shit we can be.

Yeah. It's because I was thinking about this recently happiness human happiness is entirely comparative there's so many there's bodies of evidence to back this up um in fact i remember attempting to read at one point a book written i'm pretty sure by nelson mandela's wife and i did not get far in that book it was a big thick book guy and I was a young man and I went in guns a-blazing legs a-kimbo heart a-flutter opened it up read a few pages and went this book is too long I shall not finish it but one of the insightful things she said was that um the happiest people she'd ever met were like field workers who

had these simple lives because they were just surrounded by other people like them. And they just kind of like got on and had a real good sense of community. And it's fucking true, man. Comparing your current situation to those around you, that's when you feel happy or really not happy. It's a fool's game. You can only compare yourself to yourself, really, can you?

You look at where you were. It's not in our nature, though. We're social creatures. A week ago, a month ago, six months ago, a year ago. You think, am I further along where I want to get than I was? Yeah. Comparing yourself to another person is for schmucks. Yeah, you've got to really.

And I refuse to be associated with a schmuck. You have to actively fight against it, though. I think it's a natural inclination. I was out and about two days ago, I was socializing. I was actually on a friend date. I made a friend. Were you?

We hung out for probably five hours. I love that. At one point, we were sitting in a park in Greenpoint. And you're not going to believe this, Tim, but we were sitting in a park in greenpoint uh and you're not going to believe this tim but we were smoking weed and uh we were we were having a really good time even to remember it now i'm gonna put a fucking explicit label on this episode my word drugs i'm smiling at the memory of us sitting there just very gently stoned not not very stoned at all really it was one of those little sort of things it looks like a cigarette but it holds a tiny amount of weed in the end

and you have it and it's just like putting a little uh little dust a little sprinkling of you know fairy dust on the on the occasion but we were watching these um we were sort of talking or whatever and then there were these kids and all they were doing they were like uh you know 30 meters away we were on the grass they were on the asphalt they were just running as fast as they could back and forth and it was as much fun as it's possible for a person to have and i was sitting there and i was thinking would like oh my i mean first of first of all, how do you recapture that much fun? And would I exchange, you know, life as it's panned out for myself to this point to go back, roll those dice all over again, if only for the fleeting moment of happiness that I was witnessing where three kids who were obviously very good friends were just literally testing the limits of their body and laughing as hard as it's physically possible to laugh. That is poetry. What you have just put forward.

You often reference extreme happiness as it, as it relates to kids running around. This is not the first time I've heard this from you and it suggests to me, and I've never recommended this to a human being before, but I reckon you should fuck around with crossfit or something i feel like you're a man who derives joy out of really kicking the tires on your own biology i don't know i i go i do go running you know um it's just like i think it's more just like looking at that moment and being like this is

that's all their life is is is right in that moment it's it's i guess it's like presence right they don't have the yeah their consciousness hasn't expanded enough to be like well i'm running around now but 10 minutes from now i'm going to be sitting down trying to concentrate it's like they're literally all they are doing is running around and it is i mean they're also getting fucking high on endorphins you know i told you i was smoking weed in that park i think the real criminals were these kids they were fucking sky high on the endorphins provided by their body from the simple act of running back and forth i called the cops on these kids they got into a lot of trouble did you yeah i do something

under the thumb of the dea the The conclusion I came to, you know, on whether or not I'd return to childhood is, I don't think, you know, no matter how fantastic it looks in that moment, I don't think you'd do, I don't think you'd go back. You can't go home, as they say. I've never understood that saying. You can't go home. Yeah, or it's impossible to go home.

One of those two things. Have you heard that? Yeah, kind of. I think there's got to be home one of those two things have you heard that yeah kind of i think there's got to be broader context for it to function i don't think it quite works i mean obviously i think it is similar to what you're talking about though it's sort of it's it's referring to the impossibility of turning back the clock i think yeah maybe who fucking know hey mate at this point who fucking knows hey absolutely well the reason i thought i wouldn't go okay i was gonna say the movie but please continue well like i don't know i just don't know that i want to roll those dice again i'm not perfect but i'm pretty happy with

how i've turned out you know what i'm saying you're living a great life. I know it's not all perfect, but my word. On paper, quite a life. I'm grateful for my life. You can be proud of it too, that guy. You don't have to just be grateful. You made that. You got given some stuff. You got given some starting materials, but you constructed that.

No one fucking threw you on a plane to New york city you made that happen my boy no one did throw me on the plane to new york city i actually that was i'm gonna whack one of these in to celebrate you what are you doing uh there's a soundboard in the in the recorder that we're using now so every now and then you know, how can you not? Do I have access to the soundboard? How can you not, Chuck? I'm not sure. Can you see one on your side of the convo?

No, I can't. It's just me then, bud. We've gone off topic here, Tim. I know that you've been avoiding it. The one time I tried to talk about it, I brought it up, and I've not heard you so vehemently poo-poo an idea as you did when I discussed the need for a scene in the elevator. Ah, yeah.

I won't apologize for that. I stand by it. Well, it's fine. You can criticize as much as you want, but I feel like you have to have something to contribute in terms of analysis of the film. Hey, you're not wrong. On that note, shining lights.

Let's hear them. Let's see them, boys. You've literally got nothing. A shining light means that you've got one moment that you can hang on to and build a conversation around. I don't even have that. I don't even have that, mate. I've painted myself into a corner but i

was hoping my brain could function fast enough with the coffee in me now to now i know you're stalling by describing the stall no well i'm just engaging in a conversation with you at this point not everything is a road can i tell you something um tim you speculated recently about how rich Big is. Yeah. As soon as it's decided that they want that penthouse apartment, we're still in the opening throes of the film here. I don't know if you've heard the ADR. The ADR is fast becoming the sixth character in this movie after New York City.

The sixth gal. Yeah. ADR. ADR. He says. You got Charlotte, Carrie, Miranda, Samantha, New York City, and additional vocal recording. I mean dialogue recording.

That's good stuff. So he goes to the letting agent immediately. So he says to Carrie, I got it. And then sort of the shot stays on how happy Carrie is with this moment. And then you just hear in the background as he turns to this letting agent, okay, let's sign some contracts. And that seems to me, you know, opening expression of enthusiasm, sure. But to do it in the moment,

they've walked around this house for less than two minutes. This is a penthouse overlooking Central Park on Manhattan, New York City. This guy's got to be laying out, I don't know, say at least $30 million for this place, presumably. I've got no idea what real estate is like here. That feels like a big number to me. But it would certainly, and it's millions. It might even be, yeah, as you say, sort of double-digit millions.

I don't know. But get a fucking builder's report, man. Yeah, I'm with you. Christ, we don't know a hoot nanny about this place. You've got to get some of your best guys through that building to let you know how it looks. Is it leaky? Are there any sort of structural or the structural integrity?

Are there any questions to be asked and answered there? And do you know what the most exciting part of this is too? See what the noise level is like with the neighbors. If you've got thin walls and some big premium diamond subscribers to Samantha Jones' fuck clinic next door who are taking their lessons home with them. The beauty of the penthouse suite, of course, is that you have no neighbors.

There are only the neighbors who live beneath you. traditionally sound i think travels down louder than it does up you would think that but if you are in the advanced courses of samantha jones's fuck clinic there are a lot of harnesses involved and you fuck on the roof it's going to create a lot of unexpected noise for people who live above you not on it is rare not on the roof. It's going to create a lot of unexpected noise for people who live above you. It is rare. Not on the roof, but suspended from, of course. Yeah, you got it. The ceiling.

Sorry, let me reiterate. So there's harnesses involved and you're fucking on the ceiling of your house. Well, this is some advanced stuff. There's no denying it. A lot of equipment. Most excitingly, though, the idea of big, you know, getting a few people through the house to to give them a the thumbs up before signing any contracts you know think of the number of scenes where we could see these people riding the lift it looks

like it'll be about 30 this is a whole new movie for you mean, you get some real beautiful little slices of life in there because riding a lift is unlike socializing anywhere else. Maybe, maybe it's like being in an Uber pool or a lift line, you know, where you don't necessarily know the other people and you have to make a decision about whether or not to persist with small talk or just sort of act like no one else is there. There's a whole other movie in here, Tim, and it's one that cuts to the core of humanity

much more efficiently with a much sharper scythe than this. What if this is a... Has this format been used in a film before? And if not, Guy, you should option it. Oh, actually, I'm just remembering now. I feel like there's an M. Night Shyamalan movie where it's like it's set in a lift and one of them's the devil and they don't know which one.

There's six of them. Cool. Yeah. That guy's got some big ideas. It's called Devil. It's a 2010 American supernatural horror film. I need the broad strokes. Hey, while you look up the broad strokes um last week i watched it with zoe something very astute observation she made which i sort of i think i'd like

briefly entertain the idea but never held on to it or the thought you know how they go and they look at it they say uh carrie says how how's this even on the market they say messy divorce she says how could you get a divorce if you live here and then she opens the closet and she's she says something like oh you know that that wouldn't help or what does she say to that well that she opens up a small it's a witty aside yeah you know she's yeah that's proud she goes well that explains the divorce this tiny little closet. So then Berg says, I'll make you a bigger closet. And he fucking does.

He makes a huge, not just a walk-in wardrobe, folks. And please don't see the movie. Not just a walk-in wardrobe, but like a bedroom-sized closet with all of these special kind of glass containers like you get displays in a fashion boutique and zoe just went how do you where do you have the room for that like what was what was that closet space before and i was like huh. Did that used to be the kitchen or something? Like, you don't just get to invent space. That closet area that we're seeing now was space occupied by some other bit of the apartment before.

How does this work? Let's lay out a mental blueprint here because you see them. There's a courtyard. We know there's a courtyard. This is a big place. There's a- And across, is it like across the courtyard is the main bedroom so the first place that i'm thinking he could have you know eaten into is the courtyard but that

that feels like an eyesore to me because from what the glimpse i caught the courtyard is a is a model of symmetry you know a lot of the beauty that's this was and this was a highly structural he got the work done inside of like a week it feels like no. We see that he doesn't get it done within the week. Remember, that's half the reason he can't focus on the wedding and he's so stressed out because the contractor keeps moving stuff around. He carries the burden of doing renos on the house very heavily. A weighty problem hangs heavy on his neck. He can'trie the commitment and

energy she needs as a co as a co-conspirator in the wedding carrie so enraptured in wedding prep can barely you know understand the the strain and stress that big's taken on and volunteering to create a walk-in wardrobe specifically for her these are two people who are not communicating with each other very clearly ships in the night sort of is that a is that a part of ships in the night is it all right well i mean no because they have like ships in the night i think they don't those ships don't traditionally have the opportunity to you know engage and see each other because it's dark it's true these guys live together i don't well how much time do you think does part how much time do you think it takes for him to do the closet give me a ballpark based on the information we have uh it's not long

what is it three weeks as long as how much time do you think passes between um them buying the apartment on the first act of the movie and them getting married hmm oh okay yes yeah like a yeah that's a couple of months yeah it's got to be a few months right yeah i'd say it is hey you got me there guy i'll never talk about the movie again no no no don't get it all wrong i'd love for you to talk about the movie i actually i spent quite a lot of time thinking about big in this film like this so there's the scene where obviously they uh they say they're going to buy it and then Carrie is telling Charlotte and Miranda immediately on the street.

And actually that was something I really enjoyed this week is she says, can you not feel the one thing I really want you to feel? Because Miranda's been very practical about it. She says, jealous. And I really like the openness, like openly wanting her to be jealous. Yeah, it's a good line.

It's a trait sorely lacking. like openly wanting yeah it's a good line it's a trait sorely lacking and you know like that i think it's okay to have sort of negative or uh not you know an entire stable of positive personality traits i think it's pretty natural for you know it speaks to the depth of their friendship that she can say can you not just be jealous for my wonderful news please that's all i want that's the that's the only glimpse into that you get. Otherwise, it's all buried in passive aggressiveness. And I think I really like that. I think the friendships would probably thrive and strive from a little bit more of that.

Do you know what I noticed this week, though? And nowhere is it more clear than in that scene. There was someone that tipped me off to it first. Is that Charlotte's role is just to laugh at everyone. Just to back up lines that might otherwise die in the dark. She does it a lot. Say that again, sorry. Charlotte's role in their friendship group is just to laugh.

Just to like supportively laugh along when someone thinks they're making her funny. It happens so much if you look at her for 80 of this film she's just there to kind of smile and nod or give a supportive laugh it breaks my heart in a way shut i i think that i mean i can't speak to this show but i've said i'm on the record on this season the podcast is saying she brings nothing she is she understands everything there's no nuance in her approach to conversation I'm on the record on this season of the podcast as saying she brings nothing. She understands everything. There's no nuance in her approach to conversation. Everything from her is interpreted very literally. She's a simpleton.

I think all of the others have a creative spark. And Charlotte might possess some semblance of emotional intelligence, but by ways of being a conversation partner, she doesn't even get a pass grade from that's good though there's a utility to that because she pulls people up on their shit and she doesn't it's almost like she's not socially advanced enough to temper it but that in itself is useful part of hemp play when they're talking during fashion week and miranda says um because miranda says is this what you guys were doing every When they're talking during Fashion Week and Miranda says, because Miranda says, is this what you guys were doing every Saturday while Steve and Brady and I

were at the aquarium? Carrie says, not every Saturday, which of course is true. Fashion Week is a week of the year. Good line. But then Miranda reminisces and says steve does the funniest impression of a dolphin well really it's steve as a dolphin and uh they take a beat and she she kind of like is getting caught up in the emotion of this memory and then she sort of dismisses it when she sees the other two leaning into her uh as as if they're going like oh

man you really miss him huh and then charlotte just goes you can't you can't forgive him and there's multiple points in this story where she's like dude it was it was one time he fucked up he said he was sorry like a million times he's contrite he wants to make this right. You go kid together. She just lays it out. You know? Yeah. That's that emotional intelligence coming through. But if you don't know her personally and you get caught talking to her at a dinner party, you're really battling for common ground.

I don't know. I'm going to call you on that. I'd love to talk to Charlotte at a party. She seems friendly. No, you wouldn't. You're saying that to be a you're saying that i'm not you're complaining about it come and find me you'd take me to the bathroom you'd go fuck can you swap seats with me i'm stuck i'm not man i'm not she's she's nice you know she's a nice person there's a lot nice you know nice is the most loaded word in the world nice and fine have both been absolutely reappropriated to communicate the opposite of what their original definition is. Someone says they're fine,

it means that their life is literally coming apart at the seams. If someone is described as nice, it means that they are the single most boring person. Okay, I'll rephrase it. She's a warm person. She cares about other people. She's barely even warm. She cares about other people. She's barely even warm. There's no substance.

You are raining down fire on Charlotte this week, and I don't know where this is coming from, Guy. What's happened to you two? What's she said? Nothing's happened to us. I've told you. We've been on the rocks for weeks. I want to get you kids back together.

I'm not sure what it's going to take, but I want to see you and Charlotte try and repair this relationship. Similar to the emotional joy that you see when Brady and Miranda get back together every time. Good fucking luck. And it's Steve and Miranda. Sorry, I was straight to... Brady and Miranda are strong.

My apologies. I was trying to get to the end of the sentence before I just coughed up a lung again as I reached for the mute button. That's okay. You've done a great job of making those ones. It just becomes confusing because it makes your thoughts sound quite found, sound quite stilted. I've got to wrap this thing up.

We've been bloody prattling on for years. I just wanted to say I was very interested in Big, watch and he i mean i'll be impressed this is something for you to look out for next week he um when they're after so after they've been to the divorce auction and carrie starts being a little bit paranoid about not being married to big and wanting to contribute finances to the house big's chopping a tomato on the chopping board i have looked for 11 weeks now to find some sort of continuity anything to suggest sloppy filmmaking but this guy not only has phenomenal form and technique in chopping a tomato but whoever shot and edited it has phenomenal filmmaking technique

and ensuring that there's no opportunity for there to be a logical inconsistency in the timing and amount of tomato good on the filmmakers filmmakers and good on you, guy, for that eagle eye. Wonderful. Big shout out to everyone. To his credit, the man is untouchable. My shining light? I don't know. Samantha's humping dog?

I thought that was bad this week. Went into it? I thought it was bad this week. Went into it? I thought it was lazy. Lazy film writer. I guess a perfect match for your lazy approach to consuming sex in the city. It gets a shining light from Timbo and two thumbs down from The Flash. Okay. My shining light.

That observation about Big wasn't my shining light. That was just me letting a peek behind the curtain my shining light and this is an easter egg that i think a lot of people would have missed early on and you're welcome to this information and do with it what you will i think you're going to really enjoy it um when steve approaches Steve approaches Miranda at the rehearsal dinner. No, no, no. It's after that. It's when Miranda goes back inside after seeing Steve at the rehearsal dinner. And she's.

It's not a rehearsal dinner. They call it a rehearsal dinner, I think. Or whatever it is. It's not important. It's the engagement dinner. It's the big dinner. When Samantha comes in and says, Steve's outside and wants to see you and miranda's yeah you know builds up the coach to go outside there's a freeze or a sort of a beautiful grand european uh looking painting it appears to be

from the renaissance period or i mean that's what it's meant to look like i think uh and the framing is incredible so the the the figure in the background is that of a man, and his left hand is sort of extended open, palm open, and it sort of looks like it's gently grazing Miranda's shoulder. But to the left of that, and I can't believe I've missed it for 10 screenings already, is a dick. Yeah, a tidy little flaccid dick uh you could say it foreshadows

dante's peak later in the film but um indeed i hadn't noticed it and i saw it and i thought that's a fun whoever framed that up was having fun and you know mattress pikelet king to his credit saying yep leave it in that's a great bit of fun good decisions made all day made all round on that day yeah fuck yeah a bit of penis a bit of a dick i'm gonna see what a great addition i'll send you the image um otherwise oh i am well aware of the penis i've seen it multiple times and you never thought to bring it up i guess that's a testament to your maturity huh maybe it's the same um let's put a bow on it guy I'd like to thank our

sponsor for this week which is Mr Big's Closet Extensions well both they've both two sponsors on the party this week guy I say to you let's never do this again

and I say to you I look forward to talking to you next time after you've watched 40 minutes of the film and two hours and 30 minutes of the film. Those are allowed to be in independent settings. But it's going to be spicy. My boy. Fuck you. We just have a good rhythm together.

He sort of feels me out, I feel him out. And we go for it.